#i’m screaming like a school girl
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living eating and breathing in this 3 seconds by the way
#i’m screaming like a school girl#the way they made me giggle is embarrassing#embarrassing I tell you#dear fucking god#jack and joker u steal my heart#jack and joker#jack and joker the series#jackjoke#jackjoker#yinwar#yin anan#yin anan wong#war wanarat#thai bl#thailand#bl series#bl drama#thai bl drama#thai drama
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And i always wake up with the worst neck pain too
#girlblogging#hell is a teenage girl#girlhood#this is a girlblog#just girly things#this is what makes us girls#manic pixie dream girl#tumblr girls#girlblog#im just a girl#i’m just screaming into the void#hate school#falling asleep#im going insane#im just silly like that#im just talking to myself#i hate waking up early#going insane#girl things#pink aesthetic#my silly little posts#pink blog#pinkcore#i’m just a little guy#lana del rey#localy hated#pinterest#soft pink#girl blogger#blogging
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so I’ve been talking to a guy in my class on snap for about 2 months because we both really like arcane and other shows and then his girlfriend went through his phone and found out chats and is convinced I kike him but he isn’t even my type
#like help someone please#I’m about to get beat up by a 5ft asian baddie soon and I don’t think I can take another hit to my face without my nose breaking#screaming crying throwing up#girl I don’t want your man TRUST#high school drama#am I a homewrecker?#whump#dumb shit#shitpost#personal shit
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thinking (and rewatching..) inside job again and i dont think rand is that bad of a father? i mean, he made a lot of mistakes and he doesn’t even feel bad ab it, even tho he traumatized reagan and a lot, but he was never absent. he acts like he cared ab reagan’s career just bc it could help his career, but that’s not true. he pushes her to be the best all the time and it’s bad, but he genuinely cares ab her so much. and the whole ‘creating crises to force her to hang out w him’ thing is fucked up, but it’s cute that he just wants to hang out w her that bad. most fathers literally don’t care enough ab their kids to do any of that. most fathers don’t even know their kids as much as he knows her. maybe my standards are just insanely low, probably, but he’s a better parent than 90% of the parents i know
#not just fathers. my standards aren’t lower for fathers than they are for mothers yk. they’re both low#he’s a better parent than my mom#he raised her being completely emotionally neglecting and putting so much pressure on her to be the genius she is#but i mean#my mom was just as emotionally neglecting as he was. i like telling the story ab how she had me stitch up my own wound when i was 8#and always mocked me for being ‘weak’. exactly like toxic masculinity except that we’re both girls. i couldn’t have feelings yk#rand isn’t as toxic as her when it comes to that. he neglects her feelings and even mocks them too but she still seemed allowed to Have them#if my mom thought i was being ‘weak’ she would scream at me ab how much she wished i had never been born. he doesn’t do that!!!!#like when she didn’t wanna skip 4th grade. if that were me my mom would have made me feel so guilty for being born#like i had to skip grades and actively pretend (i’m talking real acting here) to not be upset or she’d go on her rants#ab how life is difficult and depressing for everyone and i gotta swallow it and like it cause she sacrificed her happiness and health for me#cause my being born made her life so hard etc etc#i don’t think rand make reagan feel like her continuing existence kept him from being happy or healthy#my mom started blaming her diabetes on me when i was 10.#like im not fucking kidding#cause my expensive private school (that she forced me to go to all my life cause it was semi boarding so i had someplace to stay all day and#so she didn’t need to leave me home alone) made her work too much which made her stressed which made her eat more so being diabetic was a#sacrifice she made for my future#that’s just how it was#inside job#text
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I’m always so fascinated by people’s bad roommate stories. I’m not sure I’ll ever live with someone I haven’t vetted extensively beforehand ever again
#every living situation where i’ve been assigned roommates randomly; i always seem to get one person who is an absolute angel#and 1-2 people who are honestly fucked up#i lived in halls 1 year of undergrad and everyone was kind of equally insane. honestly no one stood out as particularly bad#because everyone was just constantly screaming. i dealt with it by going home most weekends and getting noise cancelling headphones#3rd year of undergrad i lived in a suite which.. honestly was basically an apartment. had a living room/kitchenette; a toilet; a shower room#and 4 bedrooms#one of my roommates i’m still friends with to this day but honestly they were and are kind of a ridiculous person#like they were actively dealing drugs most of the year and their boyfriend was around most of the time and they would bone LOUDLY#and that’s the good roommate. so you can imagine the other two#one of the others.. honestly wasn’t a bad roommate; she was helpful and clean and civil#she was loud as hell though. she used to have attacks of insomnia and decide to rearrange her furniture at 3 in the morning#and we shared a wall. she also had an illegal pet rabbit.#our personalities just didn’t mesh well; like it became clear pretty fast that we were going to spend as little time together as possible#third roommate was loud; rude; annoying and gross. she’d be calling people at 7am just to yell down the phone to them about her problems#i was like who is picking up the phone to this bitch. she also picked up on my homosexual vibes in that way that homophobic straight girls#always seem to have; and was convinced i had a crush on her. and she bought a betta fish (allowed according to dorm rules) and then it died#because she didn’t want to take care of it properly. and she refused to do anything for herself#like she was always breaking shit and leaving it because she didn’t want to email or call maintenance. so then i’d have to do it#because it was always something we specifically shared. like a set of shelves she put a fucking 5lb shampoo bottle on. twice.#in grad school it was almost the same thing. one angel roommate who was kind of messy but otherwise fantastic#she rolled the best joints i have ever seen. and i still miss her cat cali#it was the men that were the problem. one was an international student who left after a month and bothered nobody#like to the point i didn’t notice when he moved out because he was so innocuous#the other two though….. so one of them started hooking up with my favourite roommate and immediately became SUPER annoying#the other one stole shit; left lights on all the time; left fridge and cupboard and freezer doors open; tried to guilt trip me#into giving him my weed; played mariah carey at 2am; never bought a single cleaning product or household item for the collective#unless you told him to…… he was even using my toothpaste at one point. like. sir.#oh and he was always dirtying other people’s dishes and cookware and leaving them in the sink for days. and leaving big chunks of food#in the sink. it was fucking gross#personal
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what’s up with me and plane crashing dreams. perhaps my life long obsession with the show air crash investigations is hitting or smth
#this is the second time in a row#I slept like four hours but i still managed to dream something#and I dreamed all of this between this post and my last reblog.#basically it all started that I was reading a post (idk if it was Twitter) of a woman saying that she had to wait for 3 hours on a airplane#for the bathroom to free and she had to stay awake the entire time#and a moment later I was on that plane too. watching her. I was about to return to my seat (I think). also i was in first class. the only#way I’ll ever experience it) but OUT OF THE NOWHERE my last year surpervisor for an expo and her husband (which I saw once a picture) stand#up. and she starts screaming something about “something sweet coming for women”…? I have no idea what that means. but all the women/girls#on the airplane stand up (they were all sleeping before) and start to crowd in front of me and i start to feel like we are going down. DOWN.#and we were in fact. going down. crashing. and I was scared as hell so while everyone was laughing/celebrating (???) I was screaming of#horror. but just before we crash I wake up and I’m in my bed (but I know I’m still dreaming. because it’s like a slow downloading of the#image). I wake up and I decided I’m late for school (which i don’t have) and I get ready quickly and I march in full force to the bus statio#then I realize there is no school and I’m outside at 5am. I found a supermarket cart and idk why but I take it with me and only when I get#home I realize that the supermarket is nowhere close to my house (like irl) and now I have a freacking shipping cart and I decided to park#it in my garage#and then my mom woke me up as my alarm for 7am went off.#I feel like by brain has been fucked. I’m not used anymore to sleeping poorly because I’ve taken a great interest in better sleeping since#last year and I can’t stand this now ugh.#good morning people tho#dream
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I need to commit murder I think that would fix me
#sorry my brain is screaming and scratching at me for no reason#I haven’t even had a full week of school yet I don’t know why I’m so stressed#like there’s a lot of stuff but I have it all under control so I have no idea why my brain is so angry and stressed#like the simplest things are setting me off like my parents are just talking to me normally and I feel like screaming at them#and the fact that I’m stressed for no reason just makes me even more angry because like why?!?!?#girl there is nothing wrong why are you upset???#I have no idea why school is affecting me so much this year I’ve done this for like eleven years you think I’d be used to it#whatever it’s my last year I can do it#if the captain can survive a war I can survive school lmao
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#there’s this girl I’m friends with#cause she’s friends with my irl bsf#and I’ve known her since high school#and we are about equal academically#but she went to private high school when I went to public#and was always like try’s to one up me with academics etc.#and would always poke fun at my attendance records cause of my disability#but when I got into the college that I did#despite almost not graduating highschool#she’s gets super defensive cause it’s a school she didn’t get into#and she had everything going for her#saying that I only got in cause they pittied me#or cause someone pulled some strings#but she is actually getting on my nerves#cause she has so much drama with everyone#and always talks bad abt people#and has like actually started full on body shaming people#and I’m istg I’m on my last straw here#cause she also like is always comparing my relationships to her and her bf who have been together since middle school#and it’s just so go damn frustrating omg#there’s legit so much I could say abt this#but I’m not gonna#I just needed a void to scream into#ignore this
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I love these stupid lesbians
#Loario#The Land Of Loario#artists on tumblr#these bitches gay#they have my heart RAH#SNDUHDUDSJHDUD I LOVE THEM#I want to crush them in the palm of my hand#Fernaire the Half-Blood#Fernaire/Fern#Rachel the Human#Rachel Rugby#Fernaire Shrewso#I love these damn lesbians#IM FLAPPING MY ARMS IN THE AIR AND SCREAMING#giggiling and twirling my hair while kicking my legs and squealing like a high school girl writing in her fluffy pink unicorn diary#i want to put them in a meat grinder#jumping into a river and swimming away#I’m playing school with my cousins#I’m the slay art teacher who draws wolf ass#my art shit#Luxra
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I am not depressed right now why does it still take me a fucking hour to get out of bed
#why is it that doing bad means it takes two hours to get out of bed but doing well means it takes one hour#girl that’s still too long just get up#I really ducked myself over in high school by setting my alarm half an hour early so I could lay in bed and be mad about being awake#before that I used to just get up#also being able to drive has kinda fucked me over because I’m just like ‘I’ll drive faster’ which is not the correct answer#screaming into the void
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Life is so fucking weird
#had my first autims class today and found out one of my therapists went to my high school and graduated a few years after I did#and one of the other people in my group was a teacher at my school#also there is a non zero percent chance my therapist dated my ex bf#like idk for sure but she’s pretty and about the same age and he dated so many girls I would not be surprised at all#if it turns out to be true I’m gonna scream tho
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malydia are sooo fun because they boldly ask the question “what if too lesbians who were sooo autistic in the exact opposite directions? but what if they’re not actually autistic they’re just Like That because they are a harbinger of death and a girl who spent the last several years of her life as a coyote? but what if still, actually really truly and for real, they were both autistic (in the exact opposite directions)?” and they answer is, of course, “well, that would be awesome”
#but i love it it’s such fun. like remember season one when lydia was masking 24/7 pretending to care more about lacrosse than math#and pretending to be bad at bowwwling so she could be The Most Popular Girl In School? but then she got bit by a werewolf and started hearin#hearing the screams of the dying and decided to go ahead and embrace her weird ass friends and her weird ass self? that was beautiful <3#and then malia turns back into a HUMAN and has to go to HIGH SCHOOL and she is not trying to be The Most Popular Girl In School#like damn it’s hard enough just to be a Girl In School she basically skipped from memorizing multiplication tables to precal#but lydia’s got her back— sharing notes giving her answers whatever’s necessary 👍🏻#(which does make me wonder.. how are lydia and malia in the same math class? we know beacon hills has ap bio do they not have ap math classe#as well?)#anyway i just think they’re neat#if you haven’t noticed i’m playing fast and loose with ship names vs writing out two different names it makes no difference to me.#everyone is dating. no one is dating. who cares? they are all on my television screen and they all love each other <3#teen wolf#these tags are so nonsensical don’t read them <3
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i fucking hate my english teacher the bitch showed us a video of andrew tate talking about how to make money for our warmup in class as if the guys wasn’t a known misogynist even before he got fucking arrested
#every day i feel more and more unsafe in this fucking school#i hate the guys who call him the ‘’top g’’ and that he has ‘’w rizz’’ or whatever fucking psychedelic words they’ve added to their vocabs#i feel like i’m going to get hurt for daring to be a trans man with sensory issues surrounded by people who call me a girl and fucking#scream in my ear when i just want to live my life#i’m so tired kf it all i hate this school i hate evetytjing
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Honestly it would be nice to be able to not be an insane person and feel free to use my personal blog as what I like using it for (pretty pictures funny words and the occasional lengthy post about the ways I’m blowing up my life) but I’m genuinely a neurotic insane person who doesn’t believe that the people I don’t want finding this blog haven’t found it yet and aren’t watching it
#did being stalked on social media by my mom until I was like 16 help me#no. in fact I’d argue her seeing a 12 year old talk about dying & then only doing something when it got reported to the school#was evidence that she could have just not watched me and it all would have been the same#did it give me life long issues with paranoia and trust? oh yeah babyyyy#if someone holds my phone I start freaking out. fondly (lie) remembering her going through it randomly#to find something to scream at me about for an hour. girl I’m drawing ponies online and I’m 12 what do u want from me.#I think I could forgive most things but being monitored like that makes me tweak. instant deal breaker.
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ok now i’m angry because angry is better than scared
#all the slightly transphobic things my parents have said#my brother screaming in my face that i’m a girl just to upset me#the transphobes in my school who like to make fun of people for just existing#these old men who think they have a right to talk about me like that know what they’re saying when they have no fucking clue#even liberal politicians who are allies#you never see them say ‘you know how about we talk to a trans person about this’ and they don’t give us a chance to speak they talk for us
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@amphibiaheritageposts
i said i wouldnt do the ace attorney AU but this was too good to pass
#SOBBING??? SCREAMING??? CRYING?????#dachannelbiz (drawing Hop pop as an anime school girl) walked so you could RUN#(in the amphibia + toh crossover animated video btw)#this is one of the posts ever#I’m IMMEDIANTLY putting it in the amphibia hall of fame#hop pop really heard abt Anne’s trans journey and was like ‘oh golly I could do that huh…’ and then hop pop did#good for hop pop <333#hop pop#anne boonchuy#amphibia#hopadiah planter#hop pop plantar#fav
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