#i wished i had a car
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uhgg coworkers dinner tomorrow. they decided to go in a place thats like 30m by car from mine (we live in a pretty small city and im in a town connected to it so it's not that little time. most places would took me 15m at max. so i cant even ride a bike) and i dont have a car because we have 1 in family and it broke. so im gonna have to ask one of them to. give me a ride 🙂 but i dont want to say no. i have to grind the "good workplace enviroment" because if i dont it wont ever feel *okay* to work.
i was talking with my brother and he was complaining about the daughter of the owner of his job. he said he doesnt like her because "she's lunatic, one day she's your best friend, one day she doesnt even talk to you" and i realized im probably that one person at work. i talk when i want which is not every time.
is it that bad in the eyes of the majority of people?? i never really realized it. i even though that it was good that sometimes we talk because i wouldnt talk to them like. ever. theyre so so bland and talk about boys, ibiza, clubbing or shitalking people they know (and i dont). i tried to make friends so i ask aboht them about these things and listening. i talk about me too. but i really dont care. its not a friendship that gives me anything excpt for not feeling like highschool freak when we work.
i dont get it. what do this kind of people want? they dont include you in their talk but if you dont force yourself in them youre a lunatic. so you either suffer from being excluded or suffer from looking desperate to talk to them
this rly brings me back to highschool. uhg. i havent experienced this in a few years because i guess i surrounded myself with people way different from them. good
#uhg#i wished i had a car#also#it not even a serious job we only work 1 full day a week.#why do we have to have a dinner together#+ my girl ex best friend will be there#its ok between us but it still makes me stressed#but there is her#you know that one video of the 2 exs talking together and its like#“when the inside jokes are still there”#and they laugh and then realize theyre not together anymore#shitting crying#but we will be ok when we're there. ill just feel like shit after i get home#(she doesnt have a car too so maybe we could go together)#shes not my ex girlfriend. but i really loved her in a sisterly way...#weve been roomates for 2 years before we had our stupid fight#ill write about her another time#i already did#but not very clearly#it would help me
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My Great Grandma who loved her babies very much
Reference that I used for the face!
#I was scrolling through pinterest and saw this woman and I was like: She looks EXACTLY like how I imagine Stan and Ford's mother to look#my art#gravity falls#mabel pines#dipper pines#ig??#caryn romanoff pines#caryn pines#mabel voice: she must have been one hell of a mother to have had to deal with Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford when they were kids!#DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW SHE MIGHT HAVE DIED THINKING STANFORD AND STANLEY NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO RECONCILE#DO U EVER THINK ABOUT HOW SHE MUST HAVE BEEN PLAGUED WITH REGRETS AND WHAT-IFS OVER STAN BEING KICKED OUT- WISHING SHE COULD HAVE DONE MORE#DOES THE THOUGHT THAT STANFORD MIGHT HAVE NEVER GOTTEN THE CHANCE TO VISIT HER AT HER DEATHBED OR HER FUNERAL SINCE HE WAS STUCK ELSEWHERE??#EVER HAUNT YOU AT NIGHT???#DOES IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT SHE MIGHT HAVE KNOWN ALL ALONG ABOUT STANLEY- SINCE SHE'S THEIR MOTHER AND “WHAT KIND OF MOTHER CAN'T#RECOGNISE HER OWN CHILDREN APART“#THEY MEET AT STAN'S FUNERAL LIKE: “STANLEY I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED- NOR WHY THAT CASKET AT THE FRONT IS EMPTY RIGHT NOW AND WHY WE'RE#CURRENTLY ATTENDING YOUR FUNERAL- OR WHY YOU'RE EVEN DRESSED UP AS FORD RIGHT NOW.“#“I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON STANLEY- BUT I DO KNOW THAT ONE OF MY SONS DIDN'T DIE IN A DITCH SOMWHERE IN THE FLAMING WRECK OF A CAR CRASH-#AND THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME.“#SHE GOT THAT MOTHER'S INSTINCT#stan twins parents
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Who is this sassy lost child?
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#a-yuan#A-Yuan knows how to to utilise his big wet eyes to get treats. What a little legend.#The crowd comments about LWJ being 'daddy' and WWX being 'the mother' are a little too 'fan-service bait' for me.#So I am personally reimagining it as another layer of 'misinterpretation of a more complex situation' commentary.#I like how the different styles of interacting with children WWX an LWJ exhibit say so much about their own childhoods.#We - human beings in the real world - take two lessons from how we were parented: What we valued and what we wish we had.#LWJ leaning into indulgence is him pushing back against his own childhood of asceticism. It's something he didn't have - so he gives it.#WWX on the other hand has been *so* defined by his drive to indulge. And here he is the restrictor!#It takes a bit more to see what's going on here. The factors are not singular.#but to keep it in theme with LWJ; I'd propose it is partly his way of establishing structure when he did not have it as a child.#Both approches are a way of saying 'I didn't have this and I wish I did.'#With LWJ it's pretty obvious why...but WWX? What is at your core? What is your regret towards a lack of restriction?#Or...What benefit do you think it gives this child to learn the harsh lessons of going without?#Did it make you strong when you were a child? Do you think it is just the nature of the world and we all must learn it?#How we interact with children is such a fascinating topic to delve into our psychology and neuroses.#In a more light hearted turn of topic:#WWX confirmed to be 'person taking the car to the drive through to order one black coffee for himself' on the triangle spectrum.#LWJ is saying 'we have food at home' as he is opening his wallet ready to order for everyone.#(Technically this is comic 213 but yippee! We are in the 200's now! Thank you all so much for reading and cheering me on!)
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#selfie bee#good evening friends!! how are you doing! C:#I'm very very sleepy I got a new ikea office chair and I build it all myself#I think it went okay! I don't think I pulled the back screw tight enough and now the back is a bit loose#I can probably fix it but I can also ignore it for the next 18 years#thats how long the old chair held up!! in germany it could now drink vodka and drive a car!!#not at the same time that is illegal! not at the same time!! (❁´▽`❁)*✲゚*#but the day is not over yet my uncle asked me for a big art quest and I do not want to disappoint#he wants a muppet tattoo and asked me to draw it#my uncle has started to get tattoos a few months ago#as far as I know he has now gotten 3 note clefs 3 stars a flower and multiple birds#he also started getting piercings but so far I managed not to know exactly where#I think tattoos are super cool (´。・v・。`) I wish I had a good idea for a tattoo but the last time I was very sure about getting a tattoo#it was heath ledgers face as the joker#at that point I was 12 and would not see the actual movie for two more years#a muppet tattoo is a way better idea!! he asked for the count van count! that is also one of my top 3 muppets ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡#I always thought I knew a lot about muppet lore but since I started looking up muppet pictures I think there are still a lot of secrets#can the muppets from the Sesame Street actually leave the Sesame Street?#I think Kermit is both on the Muppet Show and on Sesame Street but he is also like the boss muppet#he might have special abilities#I hope you're having a good day friends!! C:#I think I'll post a Sherlock comic later this week#miss you!! ♥♥♥
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I LOVE KAY
#ace attorney#kay faraday#ace attorney investigations#my art#I wanted to bash this out like a day after the direct but my house got broken into and my car got stolen lmao#hope you like it!!!#im fine now#i LOVE kay bro i love ace attorney weirdgirls a lot........ she's so bombastic#i wish I had my old drawings of her from when I was in high school!! she was all over my notes#it feels so good to draw her again!!#HAPPY AAI 1+2 ON THE SWITCH EVERYBODY
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Pearl and Dinah from the London Starlight Express!!! (I saw it!! I cried through most of it!!! It was amazing!!!!!!)
#art#broadway#starlight express#stex#stex london 2024#pearl#dinah#dinah the dining car#pearl the observation car#literally flew to england just to see it#i wish i couldve seen it more than once but maybe it'll get renewed forever#fingers crossed#we had a lot of understudies and they were fantastic and very much stole the show
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JUST GUYS BEIN' DOODS
redraw of the meme under the cut
original by @knightmarebug
#knight rider#kr#michael knight#kitt#knight industries two thousand#bonnie barstow#mk2000#art#shitpost#doodles#having gasoline in a glass one foot away from a flame is a really good idea michael. your brain damage is showing#those bars were just so if i posted it to insta it wouldnt crop but then i thought it looked hilariously cinematic and left them for here#im very charmed by all kitt's alternate scanner patterns. i wish they were used a little more in the show but iirc the one car they rigged#to do that broke in like season 2 or 3 and they couldn't fix it. so they had to go without u _ u#but big emotions means big lights. to me. so he's happy about the date :) the whole bar lights up#he did that Once when he was scared for his life and i did not stop thinking about it. big feels is big lights#anyway i dont know what michael expected to happen; he's in the foundation's public garage. idiot dumbass#bonnie should get chessboard earrings she deserves them#''i hate drawing cars'' - keeps entering car fandoms. keeps drawing cars.
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#saw someone today arguing that redbull had the fastest car for 9 races 😭#i wish 😔#hows he still leading???????#max verstappen
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vegan food is boring
#some stuff I’ve eaten recently#that third pic I made yesterday and I need it again rn#quinoa harvest bowl with roasted veggies and homemade sauce#some chickn in there too#was actually the best thing#and my dads on a pizza making kick#so good#I wish I had a good picture of the burger from rhythm n wraps but I don’t#we always eat it in my car in the dark like wild animals#then go take a walk and see all the pretty architecture around#but anyways go get a cheeseburger from them if ur in the boston/cambridge area#vegan food#food
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“hold on to your heart” // do me a favour live at forest hills stadium new york 08/09/23 ♡
#i miss the car era alex so badly 🥺#god help me i’ve been comfort watching 2023 shows to comfort myself today bc i’m stuck in bed with the worst period pain#but all it’s done is made me nearly cry over that video of alex with the little toy car and miss them all so much my heart aches 😭😭#i wish i had a time machine so i could go back and relive my show all over again#they’re just… absolute magic 💗💗💗#also#can we please talk about alex’s fluffy little lion mane of hair during the car tour??#i know it gets a lot of love but imo still not nearly as much as it deserves#i mean#just look at him?? 🥺#okay i need to stop now before i reduce myself to tears again#i’m too emotionally fragile for this today 😩#alex turner#arctic monkeys#the car era#alex gifs#my gifs#lulu posts
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My mother doesn't hug me. she doesn't know what to do with me.
my father has the kind of anger all fathers do; loud and terrible. it lingers for your whole life.
you robbed me of my life. i could’ve been human, i could've been alive, but you took my heart and you murdered it. you made me into this.
the blood on my face didn't make me brave, it only made me hurt. i was full of rage and he didn't ask why. he didn't even notice.
i have a very childlike rage, a childlike loneliness.
You are allowed to grieve over the child you could've been.
#it always haunts me that the wishes his parent's friends had for him was that he wouldn't be put in the car at a young age#and still it happened and he was robbed of a childhood#he could not dream anything else but what his father has made him to#and isn't that a tragedy?#a murder of his present self#and a murder of what he could have been#done by the very hands that should have cared for him#jos verstappen#when i find you jos.#credits to @/lealu for the sophie kumpen quote!#max verstappen#formula 1#web weaving#web weave
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green beetle black beetle
#star wars#the original trilogy#boba fett#darth vader#hi. sorry for star war jumpscare. genuinely#i feel like ive kinda been on an art hiatus lately due to health stuff#i got diagnosed with a parathyroid disease recently (wahoo) so now i know why i have been feeling so bad! need more tests though#anyway. in the mean time most of the entertainment my brain can handle has been like. youtube clip compilations of shows and movies#not even the actual shows or movies. literally just sections of them on youtube#i wish i was joking#the only reason i know what happens in succession is because i have watched it in disjointed order in youtube compilations. not joking#anyway so ive learned a lot more about star wars than i ever. thought i would#mostly just the original trilogy and prequels. some of the old comics & books are interesting too#(sick to my stomach) i like darth vader he has like the same personality as ganondorf except he had no good reason for doing anything#when vader/anakin does literally anything weird or unacceptable it like. makes me laugh so hard its like jerma when he sees a car accident#boba fett’s costume design has been rotating in my head a lot too it’s very good#he’s very colorful and like. matte/unpolished compared to vader and it makes them a cool duo visually#those 2 are my favorites. vader why is the space cowboy the only person aside from sidious or tarkin who is allowed to get mad at you#sidious is my 3rd favorite. he sucks so bad as like a person that you just. you have no expectations of him except just being evil#so its just really funny like everything he does is horrible and he’s so happy all the time like good for him#i’m making it sound like ive never seen star wars before. i have i just never really cared about it until i got an endocrine disorder lmao#but yeah idk art may continue to be slow while im figuring out treatment stuff#if anyone reading this also has or has had hyperparathyroidism im wishing the strength & radiance of 1000 beautiful horses upon you
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Everything is very horrible today in an autistic meltdown kinda way so either I'll pop off and draw a lot or lay face down in bed doing nothing for several hours we'll just have to see
#the worst thing is its not just any one thing#its a build up of terrible terrible terrible#and when i do fibally get set off it seems like its over smthn really fuckinf stupid#RAGHHH#i will explain actually cause most of it woild piss anyone off#my whole family is off of school/work today except me#my siblings went to the movies#i had to go to work and work was fuxking SLAMMED#so i had a pretty shitty day already work wise#then i learn like an hour before i leave that i have to pick up my siblings#in the rain#in the dark#and also two othee peoplw are gonna be there so my car will be litetally full#and its in the busiest part of town#AND i have to pick up dinner beforehand#so that combined with evweything elae aboit today was already upsettint#and then the coworker i dont fucking like started fuckung around with smthn#not doing his aork#which is why i dont like him cause he never gets anything done#so that was sort of the last straw ig#anyway my manaher was bejng really nice befoee i left cause i was obviously upsey#but i was like ' listen i am literally about to have a meltdown so i have to go i cant do this rn '#i feel bad about it#but whats worse briefly inconviencing my manager or having a whole fucking meltdown in frojt of everyone#muppets ref ha#anyway#i just wish my parents respected me#even a little bit#cause they sure fucking dont#not me nor my time haha!
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shitty comics day 2024
#shitty comics day#my art tag#comic#im so SO bad at phone draeing. also i was in a moving caf#car#we got home from KCC and i had like 10 anon hates in my inbox which was like saur funney after such a nice weekend with friends that i love#on me and my wifes 9th anniversary no less#like im surrounded by joy and people that i love that love me and some little strangers in the computer tried to hurt my feefees#by calling me fat. something that i love about myself#LOL#LMAO EVEN#they wish they were me with my friends and my ice creams
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suguru x reader - nsfw
wc: 3.6k
suguru coming to see you after he defected from jujutsu tech. 🎀
a/n: i actually forgot that jjk is highschool and not college before writing this so with the power bestowed upon me on tumblr dot com i declare that this is an au where everything is the same except suguru defects when he's like 22 and not 17 okay thank you stay blessed
you're on the porch of your little apartment-- a luxury in this market. between your fingers hangs a little cigarette, a bad habit that you picked up after one too many nights spent in shoko's presence. regardless, the headrush that each drag brings is a welcome feeling. you hadn't seen suguru since before he defected, and he hadn't deigned to reach out. in the weeks leading up to the incident -a detached term, as if calling it 'the massacre' would be too real of a reminder- you had spent nearly every night with him. you were often sent on separate missions during the day and on the occasion that you did see one another in public, not much more than a simple greeting or casual chat was exchanged between the two of you.
at night, however, he always found a way into your sheets. before the fateful mission, what you had was fun. it was sexy and sneaky and exciting and your heart always raced at the thought of what he was going to surprise you with that night. after the mission, the moments turned slower, needier, more intimate. suguru started talking less, instead craving your moans and becoming more insistent on ensuring your pleasure. he wouldn't let you touch him as much, and he grew increasingly frustrated when you would try to push his head away from between your thighs before he made you cum at least twice. his mannerisms became less cocky and assured and turned frantic and anxious, like an animal who just barely managed to escape a predator and still can't figure out if he's safe or not. you tried to work your way in to his brain, his heart, but he only opened up in vague sentences or deflected to a different topic. teetering the line between concerned questioning and prying was difficult and you could tell that if you overstepped, it was likely that he'd withdraw completely. when you heard the news, heard about the incident, your heart dropped, but you can't say you were completely surprised. there's just been radio silence then.
when you feel a presence approach from behind you, you don't jump. there's no need. you know who it is and you've been expecting him. in honest, it took him longer to seek you out than you thought it would. suguru's form comes into your field of vision, body obscuring most of your view of the right side of the street. neither of you speak as he plucks the cigarette from your fingers. pinched between his forefinger and thumb, suguru brings the butt to his lips. you watch as he inhales, the burning red end of the cig sparkling as it works its way up towards his fingers. his lungs expand and it is enough to finish what you had left. he tilts his head up as he releases the smoke, taking a peek at the sky. though the city lights dimmed much of the sky's vibrancy, a few scattered stars still burned bright enough to hold an audience. he's gorgeous.
the last of the smoke is still wisping out of his mouth when he finally speaks, his voice gravelly. "you've got to stop hanging out with shoko. this shit will kill you." you huff an amused exhale and lean your head onto your propped arm, watching as suguru rubs the end of the dying cigarette into your railing and dropping the ashed remnants into your little strawberry themed ashtray.
"a bit late to start worrying about things that could kill me, isn't it, suguru?" you raise your eyebrow and look him up and down. he's skinnier and the bags under his eyes are ever present, but he holds himself a little higher than he has in the past weeks. tormented, but assured of his decisions. he's dressed in casual clothes, likely to keep a low profile and avoid run ins with any sorcerers on his way to you. "I heard you had a run in with satoru the other day, how are you?" what the two of you had was special, sure, but you knew that no one came above satoru in his eyes. they were an inseparable pair, heads and tails, yin and yang. the split can't have been easy at all.
"I made a choice," suguru starts, eyes blankly roaming over your street. he still hasn't looked you in the eyes. "and he made his. that's all there is to it."
you hum, unconvinced but also not willing to put up a fight you clearly had no shot at winning. "and so now you've come to see little old me? are you gonna try to convince me to join the official suguru geto fanclub? become a loyal member and kneel at your feet until the day i die?"
finally turning to you, he scoffs and a small smile graces his lips at your antics. "while you on your knees is one of my favorite sights, I know you. your morals would never let you join me." he says, and the word 'morals' comes out like an insult. even still, at his first words your head fills with images of the past and you adjust your position on the railing, legs crossing lightly. the movement doesn't escape his notice.
"if you didn't come to convince me to join you, then what did you come for? i could turn ya in right now. should do it to if only for the fact that you left without telling me." you turn away from him, annoyance rising at the memory of sitting in your empty room, feeling so heavily the lack of his pretty face and cat-like form splayed on your bed asking questions about your skin care routine and teasing you for the trinkets you still have as remnants of the phases you went through at fifteen.
suguru doesn't answer and instead goes inside, the duck under the door frame a habitual motion. you follow him inside, sliding your glass door closed behind you. he makes his way through your apartment, touching little things as he goes. he adjusts the picture frame that holds the photo of you, the other second years, himself, satoru, and shoko. he avoids looking at haibara's smiling face and continues on into your room.
before following him, you grab him one of his favorite bottled teas from your fridge. you always kept a pack for him, and last week you found yourself unpacking them from your trip to the grocery store before you even realized what you had done.
when you enter your room, you see him sat on the edge of your bed. you come to stand between his spread legs, cold drink in your left hand while your right comes up to trace around his face. you play with the little bang that he always keeps out of his bun. "are slut strands just allowed in your cult or are they mandatory?" you tease.
"ha ha." suguru replies dryly. "give me some of the tea, please." you crack the cap open and extend the drink towards his hand, but instead of receiving it, he grabs your hips. thinking he's just being lazy, you bring the edge to his lips, ready to pour it in for him. his lips stay sealed and he shakes his head. confused, you still for a moment befor- oh. oh. as the realization dawns on your face, he grins and gently nods.
the bastard wants you to spit it in his mouth. it's something that started out a long time ago as a joke and stuck around, you doing it to one another every so often. but now? "you can drink it yourself, dickhead." you say, but he digs his fingers into your hips, and keeps his lips together, the refusal crystal clear. you know you shouldn't-- he is currently a criminal of the highest order. he's killed innocents and shed the blood of those you have risked your life to protect. he is a million times more dangerous than the cigarette he chided you for earlier. and yet. and yet and yet and yet. the pressure of his hands on your hips is so familiar and you have missed it so much. he has filled the space in your apartment that he left behind and just seeing him here once again is making your heart thump. logically, you should run as fast as you can. instead, you bring the rim to your lips, let the cool liquid fill your mouth, and lean over. suguru brings one hand up from your hip, dragging it up your body before coming to rest on your face. you lean into the touch that you missed so much and allow him to bring your face to his, to bring your lips together. you let the tea pass from your lips to his and a bit spills down his chin. even so, he does nothing to stop it, and you aren't even entirely sure he noticed at all because as soon as the tea is done trickling into his mouth, his tongue comes into your mouth to tangle with yours. the hand on your cheek reaches around your head to press you closer into him. he takes the bottle from your hand and reaches down to place it on the floor before standing.
suguru is intoxicating. that is the only way you can describe him. with just a few kisses he has complete power over you. as he leans over to continue making out with you, you tug at his shirt, eager to run your hands across his skin again. you've missed the feeling so much. smiling into your kiss, he reaches down to grab the end of the cloth and bring it over his head, only separating long enough to get the shirt off before returning to you. he reaches down to grab the backs of your thighs and you jump, straddling him as you take his bottom lip between your teeth. you nibble softly, teasingly as you open your eyes to look into his. his pupils are blown and you know yours must be the same. he turns to face the bed, bringing his knee up and working his way up until he can lay you on your pillows. suguru cradles your head as he sets you on the bed, finally separating from you to lean back and get a good look at you. your spit shines on his lips as moonlight filters in through the space where your curtains don't quite close.
your chest rises and falls with vigor, finally getting an adequate air supply, but you itch to be close to him once again. you grab your shirt and rid yourself of it quickly, absentmindedly noting that it was actually one of the shirts he left at your place a while ago. you wore them when you missed him. (not a night passed in a shirt that wasn't his.) his fingers reach for the waistband of your shorts, grabbing the edge of your panties with them and working them down your legs. though standing for 10 seconds and ridding himself of his pants would have been easier, suguru shares your desperation for closeness and bends at the waist, laving at the hollow of your neck while shimmying out of his pants. your hands tug at his hair and run over the muscles of his back not minding the rustle of his body over yours because the weight over you was one you missed so much. when he finally kicks his pants and boxers off, he stays stuck to your chest, leaving a trail of little kisses in his wake. he makes it to your nipple where he presses one sweet kiss to the tip before taking it in his mouth and sucking. he moans at the feeling of your soft flesh in his mouth. you are an exquisite being and he truly worships every fiber of your existence. during the time he spent apart from you, he thought of this moment over and over. he moves over to your other nipple, sucking in marks on the way, making sure you are left with lasting evidence of his love. you gasp at the sting of his bite, looking down at where he laps at a small bead of red from where his teeth broke skin. over his broad shoulders, you can see where he grinds his hips into the bed, mindlessly seeking release while he focuses on his current devotion. your tummy swirls as he makes his way down, leaving little nips and hickies scattered in a pattern not unlike what he saw earlier in the sky. when he finally reaches your mound and presses a first kiss to your clit, you reach down and grab his face.
when suguru looks you in the eyes from his position between your legs, you swear he is only half registering you. he seems almost dazed, eyes glossy and head yearning to drop back down into your heat to give you the head of your life. before he can swat away your hands, however, you speak up, voice thick with need. "feel s'empty sugu." you whine, "need you in me now. it's been so long."
"but baby, need'ta stretch you out. need to make you cum and get you all ready t' take me. neeeed to taste you" he says, still fighting the hands that keep him up.
"i don't need it sugu. m' so wet. i promise. i need you to fill me up, 've missed it so much." this gets him out of his daze, and he begins to crawl back up to you.
"you need me that bad? yeah?" he whispers, hovering over you.
"mmhmm"
"needy girl got all soaked from just having me here, huh? you just need to be fucked this instant? my poor baby. i've neglected you too much." he starts dragging his dick up and down your folds, collecting your slick to make sure that he'll slide in easy enough. your nails grip on to his back, trying to entice him to put it in already. "okay baby, don't worry. i'll give you what you need."
suguru places a kiss to your cheekbone as pushes in. you both inhale at the sensation taking a moment to adjust. he slowly continues lowering himself in, murmuring small praises into your ear as you take all of him in. the stretch brings a twinge of pain, and likely would have been absent all together had suguru been allowed to give you the foreplay he wanted but the sense of love and tranquility that filled you as soon as he was all the way in was the closest thing you could get to heaven on earth. there was nothing in your heart, mind, or soul but love for the man taking over your senses.
sex with suguru varied a lot. nights after bars and parties were filled with giggly sex and lots of foreplay. after high adrenaline missions he was rough and experimental. if a teammate was seriously hurt or there was a casualty, he tended to need to be more dominant, finding solace in being able to control every aspect of your pleasure, from denying you your orgasm all night or overstimulating you and getting you to your peak more times than you could count. sometimes he liked to use toys, to tie you up, to let you tie him up. tonight though, he was tentative. he knew what you wanted and you were clear that you needed him, but the now that he was so close to you, the small, ugly voice of insecurity and shame inside bubbled up. shame for shutting you out, for his sins, for leaving, the list goes on. and so he uses each thrust into you as an apology. he reaches for your hand, sliding his fingers between yours and pressing them into your mattress. his eyes were screwed shut because he wasn't sure that if he looked at your teary eyes he could keep his composure and he needed tonight to be about you, to make you feel good.
he's quieter than normal and you notice it. the turmoil is all too clear to you and you know that he needs you now more than ever. "s- suguru, baby, look at me. please."
he shakes his head in response and your heart quivers. he's still your suguru despite it all. "baby please. look at me. it's okay. i'm okay and you're okay and we are going to make it through this." you place kisses on his nose and cheeks as he eases the tension in his face, peeking at you. the second he gets a good look at you, sweat already starting to stick hair to your forehead and eyes so enamored they almost have hearts in them, he groans and his pace falters for a sec. "you're making me feel so good suguru, you know that? you're so good to me, handsome. i could never stop loving you." you praise. you'd continue, but he dips his mouth to yours, cutting you off. you arch your back, pebbled nipples grazing his chest and he groans into you unlacing your fingers and bringing his hand to pinch your nipples. your moans fill the room. his thrusts get faster and the little plaps of your hips when they meet turn into more forceful smacks.
your praise and the way you feel around him nearly fry suguru's brain. the voices in his head are loud, telling him he's undeserving of you and your love and he whispers his apologies into your skin. he's overwhelmed and he's tearing up but he keeps rolling his hips into yours as if the world would end if he stopped. you try to get his attention by calling his name or clawing a bit at his back but he's in deep. reaching down between you, you swipe at your folds with two fingers, gathering some of your wetness only to reach up and stick them into suguru's mouth. he can't apologize with your digits pressing down on his tongue and you take the moment to reinforce your love. "suguru, listen to me. I love you and you don't have to apologize. you did what you had to do and that's okay. I love you." you pepper kisses between your words, trying your best to get your message through to him. he finally looks you in the eyes again, your voice his saving grace. "hi, baby. you back yet?" you say.
suguru finishes sucking your fingers clean and pulls back. "yeah, thanks for getting me out of there. 'was spiraling a lil bit. sor-" you cut off his apology with fingers to his lips and a roll of your own hips.
"don't apologize. just be here with me." you push at one shoulder with your arms, and suguru understands, grabbing your hips and flipping you over. "'s this okay?" you ask, straddling his hips and beginning to ride him.
"so much better than okay, gorgeous. 's perfect." as you bounce up and down, suguru reaches up to play with your clit and you feel the nerves send shocks up your spine. he starts whispering things like "you are the best thing that has ever happened to me" and "you're so perfect, doll. all mine"
as you near your peak, your legs start to shake and burn. you whine at the at the decrease in friction that comes of your slowing hips and suguru takes this as his moment to pick things back up. with his hands lifting you, he gives himself enough space to prop himself up and get a strong base to thrust into you from below. with your sugu now taking the lead, everything is just more intense. you fold over, trying to kiss him but missing due to the sheer force with which suguru is moving your body. small 'ah's come from your mouth and you feel your toes curl as you are tipped over, a wave of pleasure washing over you. you tighten up and your muscles twitch as suguru continues thrusting, chasing after his release and following just behind you. he pulls your body to his, gripping you in a tight, tight hug as he spills into you. his legs give out from under him and you land together in a little heap of love, sweat, and limbs. his dick slips out of you and you already miss the sensation of being full, of being so close to him. for now though, you take the moment to catch your breath and to let your heart sync up with his. in a little, you two will get up and you will pee and brush your teeth side by side. when you come out, the bed will be clean and you will cuddle with your lover and be soothed into sleep by his slow breaths, grateful that you had at least this moment with him, sure that he'll disappear on you come sunrise.
in the morning, as the sun begins to warm your room, every logical thought is tell him to leave before you wake up. it will be easier to split without seeing your face, and talking in the morning will only create longer term attachment that has no place in the future he is building for himself and his girls. honestly, best case scenario would be you being so angry at him for leaving that you get over him all together. it is so simple!
so when he finds himself in your kitchen, making your eggs how you like them and pouring your cup of coffee in your favorite mug with just the right amount of milk in sugar, he's just as surprised as you are. and when you give him a kiss and sit in his lap and he sees the splotches of reds and purples that decorate your neck, paired with the little bit of drool from sleeping so well, he remembers why he didn't choose the easy route. where things will go from here is uncertain, but the outside world has no place in your apartment-- in his sanctuary. all that matters is your warmth in his arms and your lips on his.
#this was inspired by both all i know and die for you by the weeknd which happened to play back to back when i shuffled his music#whenever the line “i know there's been stigma round me” plays in my car it is at full fucking volume and now i guess ill be thinking of get#can we tell that i just came back from five months in europe where i lowkey picked up smoking#also#this turned out a bit sadder than i thought#but i wish someone was there to comfort suguru in those years after.#he had his girls but none of his friends/coworkers/allies/literally anyone who knew him#he was so alone :(#ecriture#suguru x reader#suguru smut#geto x reader#geto smut#jjk smut#geto suguru#jjk suguru#geto suguru smut#suguru geto smut#suguru geto x reader
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[softly, and with a lot of feeling] holy shit
#it went from 'pretty cool! :)' to TRANSCENDENTAL so FAST--#we'd been out there a couple hours taking pics because it was hard to see much of anything besides 'well there's SOMETHING' with naked eye#and we had literally just folded up our lil picnic blanket and picked up our stuff to go back to the car when it was like.#hey is it just me or is that really bright suddenly. HEY IS IT JUST ME OR IS THAT SUPER BRIGHT AND VISIBLE SUDDENLY??#I wish it had been possible to get an accurate naked-eye-view photo-- I don't want to forget how it was to be there#it was incredible 😭#wish my tripod hadn't broken when we got there but I think I did okay with what I had to work with#about me#photography#husband
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