#i wish nobody loved me enough to have let me live. now all i am is a bundle of disabilities underdiagnosed and barely understood

[philosophicallie]

i hate food i hate food I hate food I hate food I hate food I hate food I hate food I hate food I hate food I hate food

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[lylianrae]

A list of all the things I have manifested ⋆˚⟡˖ ࣪

We manifest everything in our lives btw - the good and the bad which is why I will be including both to prove that the law does not discriminate. If you can successfully become poor, you can most definately become rich with the same ease because everything is just a state.

Long hair

AHH this is one of my favourite manifestations. Ever since I was young I had a weird bob with a fringe (often crooked) and I wanted long hair like all the other girls (lmaoo) but my mum was strict so she didn't let me grow it out. Although I didn't know about manifestation back then, every new year and birthday I would wish for long hair and I would pretend I was a princess with butt long hair. Guess what, somewhere along the line, my mum let me grow it out and now I have butt length hair (don't really know what to do with it tho </3).

As all kids do, I went through an emo phase where I chopped off like half of my hair like 4 years ago. I literally grew back 7-8" of hair within a month because my parents got too mad. I knew about manifestation here so I just assumed my hair always grows unaturally fast. Same with when I cut bangs, they grew past my chin within a couple of weeks.

Manifesting my way into a private school

Honestly this just shows that you dont need 2430430 hours of working on your self concept to manifest. Literally so many celebs, including Marylin Monroe (the queen), manifested their fame with awful self concept. Likewise, here I was possibly going through the worst time of my life back then. I would wake up at 8 am and start studying and end at 11 pm despite being only 10 at the time. I was so freaking stressed and envious of all the other children and went into a depressive spiral where my two options were pass or die. I didn't even have enough practice and I cried my self to sleep on most nights. Anyways, when i did the exam I was deathly calm and even after the exam I was apparently so chill so my parents thought I failed.

I literally left 9 questions on one paper but throughout the summer, everytime I found a dandelion I would make a wish and imagine digging a tunnel to the examiners room where I secretly change my answers into the right ones (lmfao my tiny 10 yr old brain - idek how it worked). Anyways my results were sent back to me a month later on a random October evening and I got a really high mark. Even after 7 years of going to this school I havn't met anyone who has gotten a mark higher than mine.

Curly hair / straight hair

Sigh. We always want things we don't have. When I was younger I had really straight hair like 1A asian hair but when I was like 10, I really wanted curly hair and I would try to curl it often. After a few months, I manifested a curling iron and my hair literally became naturally curly like right after a wash it would curly af when before it was dead straight. Naturally I grew bored of it and I wanted my straight hair back and for ages I began overcomplicating the law and struggled to manifest it. It was only recently when I actually let go of the 3D that I manifested the silky, shiny straight hair.

Social life?

This is also a funny one, just shows how easily you can manifest. So back in 2021 after lockdown I felt so lonely and felt so left out of my friendship group so after a few months I began stressing myself out and spiraling for like 30 minutes, sobbing to myself about how I was so lonely and how nobody loved me (💀). Anyways it became reality, I found myself uncomfortable in many social situations and found myself becoming forgotten far more easily. I don't really remember the details but it was so bad that I think I accidently manifested social anxiety (oh well we still up tho).

However I am a loa girly so I found myself listening to popularity subliminals and slowly (but surely) my mindset change from having no friends to being the most popular girl in the year. Like no joke I became friends with like 3 people from different social circles so at lunchtime we had to join up like 3 different tables so we can all sit together. Overall I got myself 20+ close friends and even my ex friends began to admire me although it had ended badly. Even now, when someone says something thats untrue - for example saying that they are dumb when they are not, they would be like "ahaha so its like when Rae (me) says she has no friends, the whole school knows who Rae is".

Clear skin

This was sort of in the beginning of my loa (law of attraction back then) journey, I just randomly found out what subliminals were and was still quite new to everything. Now I don't even understand how it happened but I had busted some capillaries under my skin and it looked like small red viens under my skin and bro I was freaking out at the time. One night I was like just, I had enough, I'm going to get myself better skin and so I listened to a sub once for 3-4 days and on like the 4th day, my cheeks began to heat up which was odd and the next day it was 90% gone. Just like magikkkk.

Desired university?

Guys. Feeling is the secret. Don't you ever forgot that - not feeling as in emotions but rather the feeling of knowing. I had 2 entrance exams to do to apply for my universities and it was a stressful time where I wasn't getting enough sleep and wasn't eating enough simply because I didn't have the time. Like I come home from school and would have 3-4 hours of homework, then I need to revise for tests and then the remaining time would be spent on the entrance exams. Each past paper took 2 hours and I have around 13s per questions and I was already struggling on time. Anyways, I began to hate them and I would often complain to my mum saying things like "My score got even lower!!" or "I hate it so much" or "My head hurts / eyes hurt".

Guess what? Not only did I see my score decrease over time but I also made such a silly mistake on the most important entrance exam which I needed for 4/5 of my universities. I left a question and completely forgot to mark on the answer so when I finished the section I realised I had one more space on the sheet with like 10s to spare. I didn't have enough time to go back and fix it and lemme say that I did so badly in the test. Even while waiting for results I was just like "ah it would be a miracle if I scored above this bla bla".

I got the score back and it was so freaking bad like I did not stand a chance at my university at all. However, I started to affirm for a place and to my utter shock and surprise my desired university reached out and offered me an interview. I knew people who had like scores which were 50% better than mine and they still got rejected pre-interview. Anyways I began stressing about the interview and the results of the whole thing and boom. I got rejected 3 days after my birthday lmaoo. But its okay because I'm reapplying and I learnt so much more. I'm redoing the entrance exam and my score is a loooot better than it ever was last year.

A key take away would be thoughts are the result of the state you are in. Your dwelling state manifests and I was focusing on the unrealness and the difficultly of getting into this uni and thats what manifested. At the time I was heartbroken and literally went through the 7 stages of grief and spent so many months trying to revise it only for me to focus on the 3D. Just know that everything is done in imagination and it appears in the 3D as a result.

Photographic memory

So this is also something I had manifested before I actually knew about loa but the takeaway here is that manifestation is always instant. I was around 11 reading a random book on my tiny kindle and the book was on how to develop a good memory and I was like ah that'll be useful. Anyways later in the car, I asked my dad about photographic memory and he sort of explained it to me. I just assumed that I have that and I told him I do. He just laughed at me and said thats something that you have to train for and I was not impressed lmao. Inside my tiny brain, I was just like nope, I already have photographic memory and I dropped that thought. Let me tell you, my memory is actually photographic and has helped me out on so many occasions like my brain just takes pictures of things.

Learning fast

This is also something I did before I knew loa, I was just always wondering why the other kids couldn't grasp concepts as easily as I did. Literally in every lesson I would be like ah I learn so fast and now I am actually blessed with the ability to grasp complex subjects so fast. A favourite example of mine would be when I was obsessed with music but to take it to a higher level you need to be able to play an instrument. I couldn't at the time and my teacher told me the requirements a week before the actual deadline. I have never actually played piano with both hands but one day I sat down and worked through the entire song (fur elise by Beethoven) which is a grade 5 (I think) and it normally takes people months / weeks to learn. I learnt the whole thing in 3 days and from then on, I could play piano like I had been doing for ages. Again the memory thing was so helpful because I never actually used any sheet music, I learnt it off a youtube video and I remembered every single note I needed to play.

Hourglass body + 22" waist

This was a couple of years ago when I actually didn't understand loa. Anyways long story short, I would do a 3 minute workout and then flex infront of the mirror all day (💀) and be like omg I have abs. Overtime, I actually got so skinny everyone around me kept pointing it out to me and my mum got so concerned that she took me to the doctor like 4 times. It was so funny, I would loose like 2-3kg overnight and my parents would have to buy better fitting uniform.

Bigger boobs

This was also back in the day (2021?) when I didn't understand how to manifest things easily af. I had an A cup but I wanted better boobies and I listened to like 2 subs for a week and I went to a B cup. But I just assumed I have a bigger cup size recently and I just skipped C and went to D+ (haven't measured in a long time).

I'm not done but I'm tired now bye bye

[nyx-the-reader]

My favourite angst couple dynamics (Unsaid thoughts)

"Am I even worthy of your Love?"

"Is my Love enough for you to stay for?"

...........................

"Ask me to stay for you"

"Please tell me you want to stay"

............................

"You had to have realized by now, How can you not know?"

"I just couldn't let myself hope, it would have been my destruction"

...........................

"My existence is not worth anything"

"I would have no purpose in this world had you not existed"

.........................

"There is nothing for me in this world"

"Take me, my blood, my bones, my everything, until I have nothing else to give"

........................

"My Love is more of a curse than a blessing"

"If you can't bless me with your love, atleast curse me till the end of time"

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"Let me go, I have nothing left to live for"

"All this pain I have endured, just to watch you wither away"

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"What about you, who are you in love with, it couldn't possibly be me"

"Love me, even if I know I am asking for the impossible"

....................

"You will never acknowledge our connection, I watch you follow everyone else with your eyes"

"If only I had the courage to tell you, you live in my heart"

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"You will break my heart I know, then why can't I let you go"

"Don't forgive me, I don't deserve it"

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"I wish I could be what you deserved"

"Ofc, you wouldn't have wanted me, nobody has ever wanted me"

.................

"I was a selfish person once, now look, i made myself better for you"

"Did I do this to you, did my expectations destroy you too?"

................

"No one can love me, even I can't love myself"

"Let me love you, I would love you enough for the both of us"

...............

"I will destroy you, I corrupt everything I touch"

"I am drowning in my darkness, your touch is my salvation not destruction"

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"I always thought the worst of you, turns out all this time I was the one hurting you"

"You, even filled with hatred for me, are my lifejacket in this sea of oblivion"

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"I am nothing but an object, a toy, a weapon. No one even sees me as a person"

"Had I been powerful enough, you wouldn't have had to be anything other than yourself"

.............

"Don't let me destroy you, push me away first"

"If you are my end, let me greet destruction like an old friend"

[mcflymemes]

"TAKE ME BACK TO EDEN" BY SLEEP TOKEN PROMPTS *  assorted lines from the album, some slightly reworked to suit a roleplay format, adjust as necessary

it was no accident.

you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood.

you've got me in a chokehold.

it's all the same to me.

it makes no difference.

i've seen my days unfold.

i've done the impossible.

show me that which i cannot see, even if it hurts me.

show me the way.

you've got my body.

raise me up again.

take me past the edge.

i want to see the other side.

won't you show me what it's like?

did i mistake you for a sign from god?

are you really here to cast me off?

maybe you're here just to turn me on.

i would be lying if i told you that i didn't wish i could be your man.

you won't ever have to talk about it.

i was more than just a body in your passenger seat.

you were more than just somebody i was destined to meet.

i see you go half-blind when you're looking at me.

you gave me nothing whatsoever.

you say you want me, but you know i'm not what you need.

you sit there acting like you know me.

if you had a problem, then you should've told me.

keep an eye on the road.

i can't get enough.

no wonder my ears are still ringing.

you have become the voice in my head.

my life is torn.

are you in pain like i am?

will the pain stop if we go deeper?

i wanna go where nobody else will ever go.

there is always something in the way i wanna have you to myself for once.

you take what you want, then leave.

who made you like this?

tell me you met me in past lives.

won't you come and dance in the dark with me?

anything's better than the way i feel right now.

you make me wish i could disappear.

don't you know i was trying to hold back the darkness?

are you really okay?

you woke me up one night, dripping crimson on the carpet.

i saw it in your eyes.

don't you know i could see it in you even now?

i cannot fix your wounds this time.

i don't believe you when you tell me you are fine.

please don't hurt yourself again.

why are you never real?

i am trembling with fear.

this scar will never fade.

just let me go or take me with you.

do you wish that you loved me?

is there something you give that you will never receive in return?

do you know what it is?

are you trying to live like everything is a lesson to learn?

can you ever forgive yourself?

do you ever believe that we can turn into different people?

it's getting harder to be myself.

for so long, i have waited.

i don't wanna get in your way.

touch me again.

you have got your hooks in me.

you get what you give.

i can hear you say my name.

no one told you where to go.

i'm a waking hell and the gods grow tired.

i need you to see me for what i have become.

we've no idea what we've got until we lose it.

it was no accident.

give me five whole minutes.

call me when you get the chance.

do you remember me?

do you still believe that nothing else matters?

the night belongs to you.

i must be someone new.

you will not be mine.

[puggnugget]

A Bed In The Meadow

PART EIGHT

WARNING: NSFW!! SMUT, mature themes, 18 & over.

Writers Notes: Ya'll finna eat good, enjoy!

Word Count: 3,255

Gale sighed heavily, sipping his morning tea in front of the fire as his mind wandered. Last night certainly could have gone better. His heart was heavy with worry - the sudden uncertainty of his future, the orb, you. It was all so much, he didn't know where to begin or how to unpack it all.

Regret stirred in the pit of his stomach as he remembered how he had raised his voice at you, he hadn't meant to. He never wished to cause you grief or burden you with a weight no one could truly carry.

He wanted to be your peace, to be at your side, but everything felt so uncertain now with the task Mystra had placed upon his shoulders.

He loved your unyielding determination that defied the God's themselves, how he wished to have your optimism.

'There must be another way', your voice echoed in his head. Another way? This was the clearest path forward that could be found. He sighed, brows furrowed as he continued to lose himself in thought.

Astarion sat in front of him across the fire, crossing his legs. His eyes a mixture of emotions.

"Astarion, what are you doing up so early?" Gale questioned.

"Talking to a suicidal idiot, what does it look like I'm doing?" Astarion gestured, his tone snarky and low.

"Look, I'm truly not in the mood for this today -"

"And I'm truly not in the mood to deal with your relationship drama today, but here I am, assisting you in cleaning up the mess you've made." Astarion ran a hand through his hair.

"I would strongly disagree that I'm the one who made a mess-" Gale began before Astarion quickly interrupted.

"Yes, yes, that's all well and good - but you're the one who couldn't leave well enough alone, and now you have that pesky orb burrowed in your chest."

Astarion took a deep breath before beginning once more.

"But that's not why I'm here, I'm here to tell you to get your shit together, and to sort it out - quickly. Nothing is set in stone, so you needn't act like it, not yet anyways. You were dealt a shitty hand, yes, but that does not mean the game is over."

"Why do you care, Astarion?" Gale questioned, leaning forward as he studied the elf.

"If you must know," Astarion thought carefully.

"You hurt... my friend," Astarion paused, realizing the words that parted from his lips.

"She was a sorry sight last night, and I hope to never see her like that again." Astarion narrowed his eyes at Gale, issuing him a stern warning.

Gale sighed, his heart heavy.

"You must see my point of view, Astarion. It isn't so simple."

"Of course I see your point, Gale, and nobody said it was simple. But Tav is right, as she often is. You can't just role over and die without weighing all other options. If that is the route you are so determined to go down, by all means - but if you're giving up hope now, pursue her no further. Save her the heartbreak."

Astarion's words pierced through Gale's heart like jagged ice. There was no way he could let go of you now, not after everything that's happened.

"You've given me much to consider, Astarion." Gale looked down at his tea, cupped gently in his hands.

************************************************************

You avoided Gale for the better part of the morning as you and your comrades traveled through the vast and endless darkness. A slight hangover clung to you as did your regrets on how you handled the evening prior.

Stupid girl, you should've stayed - he needs you, and you walked away. You thought to yourself. You could not begin to comprehend the burden that was forced upon him, no mortal should ever have to face it - especially alone.

It took you a moment to realize a group of people lurked in darkness, torches alight with steady footsteps. The shadows came to collect as they pulled away a helpless soul from their ranks, your intervention was swift - no more lives would be lost this day.

Their appreciation lead you to the Last Light Inn where you had met Jaheira. You also found yourself amongst the tiefling refugees once again, learning they had not made it to Baulder's Gate as you had hoped.

All was explained to you over a glass of wine with Jaheira, you found yourself fond of her prickly demeanor. She offered you beds, food, and drink which delighted your party.

You had hoped for an uneventful afternoon, but after introductions were made with Isobel - the cleric that protected this plot of land - the Inn was attacked by the Absolute.

Yet again, you came out victorious as you had many times before. The rest of the afternoon was filled with assisting the clean up of your enemies bodies and viscera.

Come what you assumed to be evening time, you were utterly exhausted. This hostile land seemed to drain you of energy with its cruel, cold air.

Despite the fatigue, you knew you had to speak with Gale.

******************************************************

You tapped on his door gently, waiting for Gale's response.

"Come in!" he called.

You stepped into the dimly lit room, but it wasn't Gale per se that waited for you, but rather an illusion of Gale.

"Hello! I'm here on behalf of Gale of Waterdeep, he has kindly requested your presence elsewhere this evening, may I escort you?" It asked.

"Ehm, I suppose so," you chuckled at the sight of the translucent Gale.

"Most excellent! Please, follow me!" It was enthusiastic as it lead you.

You had followed Gale's image out of the Inn, carrying a torch, until you came upon a clearing where Gale - the real Gale- sat. The sky above him was not pitch black like you had expected it to be, but was a mixture of perfectly placed stars, purples, greens, and deep blues that melded together in harmony.

You sat next to Gale quietly, in awe of the painted night sky before you.

"Did you do this?" you whispered.

"I did, the curse remains - but it is vailed for now," he said with a devilish grin.

You both sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity as you watched in awe at Gale's creation.

He took your hand, bringing it to his lips - planting a firm kiss on the back of it.

"If... if you knew the end was near, would you not want to ensure your death had meaning?" Gale asked softly, squeezing your hand.

"Of course I would." You whispered in reply.

"But we cannot foresee how the end will play out, we cannot assume that this is the only way. You needn't die for your Goddesses forgiveness, Gale." You frowned, a tear gliding down your cheek.

"I'm... so sorry, for how I handled my part last night. I shouldn't have left you to deal with that alone, but I'm here now. I am with you. I cannot imagine your pain, your burden, but I will love you through it." He wiped the tear away with his thumb as you spoke, his deep earthy brown eyes softening. He cupped your cheek in his warm hand gently.

"I'm sorry too, truly. If you believe there is another way, I will put faith in that notion and try my hardest to see it comes to fruition. But I want you to understand, that if there is no other way - this is something I must do." He stroked your cheek as a frown pulled at his lips.

"I understand," you replied.

"You must know by now you're special to me..." He trailed off. "That I'm in love with you." His words made your heart swell, your face flush.

"I'm in love with you too," you leaned into his palm, smiling, another tear gliding down your cheek.

He laughed, "well, that certainly is a relief."

Your gaze met once more as you melted in is eyes, leaning towards him before your lips met his.

"I want to lay with you like the God's do," he spoke in between kisses.

"Show me," you begged.

***************************************************

Your surroundings were blurry as your eyes opened slowly, laying beside Gale. He had taken you in the weave in every way imaginable, your very soul felt as if it were electrified by the experience. The things he had shown you, you never knew such pleasure could exist.

You looked down in visible confusion as your clothes were still adorned on your body.

"I hope you enjoyed yourself," he sat up smiling, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

"I did..." you trailed off.

"But?" He cocked an eyebrow with a concerned look in his eyes.

"But, I'm trying to make sense of it all.. It was amazing, you needn't worry there! It's just..."

Your knees clasped together, your body craved his physical touch now more than it ever has. Burning hot lust gnawing low in your belly, your slit dripping wet.

"Perhaps it's all just hard for me to understand and take in?" You looked away, embarrassed.

"Oh, I hadn't thought of it like that," Gale said nervously.

"I want you, the real you - in the flesh... I want to feel all of it." Your gaze was intense and longing. The apple in his throat bobbed nervously before a bed with satin lilac sheets materialized before you in the meadow.

"I must confess, I am a tad nervous... It, uh, it's been a very long time since I could indulge... Longer still since it was truly... Physical." Gale stammered, lifting you to your feet.

"Don't worry, I'll take my time with you," you whispered in his ear and he shuddered in response.

You took Gale by the hand as you lead him to the bed, both of your bodies shivering with nervous energy. You draped your arms around his shoulders as you kissed him with a longing hunger, he moaned into your parted lips as you pressed your body into his. His hands holding your waist firmly, demanding more of you. You could feel his lust through his trousers, pressing into your pelvis, twitching and expectant.

You both collapsed onto the bed in a frenzy of movements, the satin sheets felt cool beneath your skin as Gale lingered on top of you, pressing his hips down hard onto your center. The pressure you felt building was pure torture.

Your hands were suddenly searching for his flesh, pushing them underneath his tunic and trailing up to his bare chest. He shuddered as your hands searched to feel every bit of him in a hungry haze. Your kiss deepening as his tongue slipped between your parted lips, your tongues stirring together.

In a swift motion you pulled at his shirt until you removed it entirely, casting it to the side. His brow beaded with sweat, his hair falling around his face creating a curtain between the rest of the world and yourselves.

He began to kiss you again, feverishly this time - as if he could not control himself.

"Gods, I need you," he whimpered into your mouth between kisses, you pressed your hips into his, his lust impossibly hard against your thigh.

"Then take me," you demanded of him.

No more coaxing needed, he was eager to listen to your command. He broke away from your kiss, trails of saliva trying to bind you together severed. He grabbed at your gown, lifting it up and over your head, casting it away - all that remained were your panties. Your bare breasts aching and alert in the cool night breeze.

"Gods above," he muttered, taking in the sight of you beneath him. He was trembling before you, his eyes wide and burning with need.

You smiled at him coyly, "what?" you asked.

"You are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid my eyes upon, I could worship you for a life time." He breathed, leaning down as he began to kiss and lick your neck. His stubble tickling you slightly, you moaned in response to his touch, and you could feel his lips curl into a smile as he continued his descent down your body. Making his way to your breasts, his breath hot and heavy as he lingered over them.

You writhed impatiently, awaiting his next move when suddenly his tongue coiled around a nipple, his hand grasping at the other. He rolled one in between index and thumb as his tongue lapped at the other. Conflicting sensations and movements broke your concentration, you tried to hold back but it was in vain.

"Gale," you moaned, your body jolting in response to the sudden sensation. His mouth warm and wet, surrounding you.

He certainly took his time with you, enjoying every moment, every moan that escaped your lips - before once again continuing the descent downward. With every touch you squirmed with wanton desire, you ached in every sense of the word for him and only him.

His trail of scorching kisses lead downward again, until finally his face was near your center. Nervousness and lust twisted low in your belly, he looked up at you with darkened and lidded eyes.

"I can't wait to taste you again," he groaned, pushing your panties to the side as he exposed your womanhood. Your slit was a dripping mess, a gasp caught in Gale's throat at the site of you, biting his lower lip. He lingered for a moment, watching you squirm nervously under his gaze. He was making you wait for it.

"P-please," you began to beg, before you could even formulate a thought to finish his tongue was pressed against your sex, dragging agonizingly slow to your cluster of nerves.

"G-gods, my Gods!" Your legs instantly went to clasp shut, but he pushed them apart once more. Resting his hands on your inner thighs, refusing to relent as his tongue lashed against your burning heat with methodical strokes.

Your body shook uncontrollably with each flick of his tongue, the burning lust that sat in your belly swelling in your thighs, then your calves, to the soles of your feet. You could not hold your moans in any longer, you were losing yourself entirely to him and carnal pleasures.

He kept the same tempo that made you squirm, but increased the pressure of his tongue with each stroke. Your moans and curses were growing louder as they carried on the night breeze.

He focused in on your bundle of nerves, lapping you up hungrily, he groaned into your sex - loving the taste of you.

You hardly had warning as you began to burst, hands wrapping into his hair with desperation as your hips bucked and twitched.

"Gale!" you screamed, unable to control your volume as you reached the threshold of your climax. He dug his hands into your hips, as your body tried to push away but he only pulled you closer, refusing to part his lips from you.

Squirming, sweat beading down your chest as a second wave of pleasure surged within you.

"Gale, I- I.. wait, Gale, G-gods - I'm cumm-" You wailed, as you burst into ecstasy once more. Once he was fully satisfied with his work he sat up on his knees, his chin slick with your wetness. Your body shook uncontrollably as you watched him slide your panties down your legs, gasping in a desperate attempt to catch your breath.

"I've made such a mess of you," he groaned as he leaned in to kiss you. Your taste was sweet on his tongue.

He kissed you passionately and deep as you heard the shuffle of fabric for a few moments, then suddenly his bare length was prodding at your slit.

He placed a hand around the base of his shaft, guiding it eagerly along your wet heat, teasing you.

"You are enough to drive me to madness," his breath was hot against your lips. You shuddered as he continued to toy with his length at the entrance of your slit.

"Do you want it?" He looked into your gaze through lidded eyes, his body shaking with anticipation.

"More than anything," you begged, bucking your hips.

He focused for a moment on the angle, before slowly pressing his hips forward - you welcomed him eagerly as the tip slid in with no resistance. You were both shaking, nervous wrecks - naked before one another.

"Please, tell me if I hurt you in anyway." He asked softly.

Your hand cupped his cheek as you looked into his eyes and nodded, reassuring him.

Another agonizingly slow thrust and he was halfway in now, you could feel how it throbbed inside you. You leaned upward and kissed him passionately, as he thrust what remained to the hilt, burying himself in your depths. Both of you let out a moan in unison at the sensation. Finally, you could finally know what it was like to feel him inside of you.

He was at the end of your depth without even trying, he pulled back slightly then thrust forward once more. Your head tilted back, eyes fluttering, drinking the moment in.

"You put the stars to shame, you are perfection," he groaned into your neck, his whole body continued to shake. The rhythm started slow at first as he allowed your slit time to get used to him, you were wrapped tightly around his sex.

"I love you," he whispered in your ear as the thrusting began to quicken, growing more ravenous with need.

"I love you, too," you moaned as you kissed the edges of his jaw. Your breasts dragged along his chest with every pump, his fingers coiling with yours and the sheets beneath.

He began to pant as his pace deepened, sharp and hungry thrusts pressing against your womb. You could see in his eyes he was trying desperately to hold back for your sake, his body begging for release.

He suddenly paused as he sat up on his knees again, still at the edges of your depth. Both of his hands grabbed your waist as he began once again, his eyes trailing over every inch of your skin. He began bucking harder, pleasure mixed with a twinge of pain as his size forced you to stretch in accommodation. His grasp on your waist firm and unwavering, holding you in place, making you take every inch of him.

You clasped a hand over your mouth as you couldn't hold back your moans any longer, each thrust forcing a sound out of you. His muscles flexing, covered in sweat as he once again bucked faster.

"Gods! You feeling amazing," he moaned loudly, head tilting back, never wavering in his pace.

You clung to the sheets, writhing, as that feeling of ecstasy was near boiling over. As if he could sense it himself, Gale spoke.

"Please, cum for me." He begged.

Your body couldn't resist, and for a third time you burst - your warmth shuddering and clenching him tighter as you came harder than you ever had.

The sensation of you pulsing and wrapped around him pushed him over the edge, he had reached his limit and could hold back no longer. He quickly pulled out, his hot seed shooting out and onto your stomach and chest, panting and moaning as his stiffness pulsated with every spurt.

He collapsed beside you, trembling and sweaty. He weakly waved his hand over you, and the sin he had splashed across your skin disappeared.

You both laid in a silent embrace for what felt like an eternity, exchanging candied words and soft kisses.

[invisible-lint]

Here For You

Lucien x Archeron!Reader

Summary: Lucien finds you Under the Mountain

Warnings: angst, smut, mentions of non/dubiously concensual sex, nothing explicit and not with Lucien

Note: This was going to be a part of Before & After and kinda took on a life of its own oops. It's that same reader though

Word Count: 1.6k

You suppose that you should be glad that you were here and not locked in the dungeon like Feyre was. If she was still alive. And part of you was, at least there was a bed and a fire. But the reason you were here outweighed the luxuries you had.

 You were being used as a plaything. You weren't sure how Amarantha decided which male spent the night with you, but it didn't really matter. Some of them were kind, spending the night sitting in the chair by the fireplace. But most of them weren't. And the ones who weren't, the ones who spent the night in your bed... You'd rather not think about them. You almost wish you had the luxury of fae wine so you didn't have to remember it. 

You pace in front of the fire, trying to keep the anxious anticipation from overcoming you. It wouldn't do you any good. The door opens, and you press your hands into your skirts to hide their shaking, looking at the floor. The male says your name and you sway on your feet, not believing it's him. Perhaps your mind is playing tricks on you, or this is some sort of magic, a cruel trick. He crosses the room and pulls you into his arms, steadying you. He cups your cheek, brushing his thumb along your jaw, under your chin, gently tilting your head up to look at him. It's really him. Lucien. You lean into his touch, tears running down your cheeks. He brushes your tears away. 

"Lucien... Luc… How are you here? I thought... I didn't think..."

"I managed to convince the male who was supposed to be here tonight to let me take his place." You cling to him, burying your face in his chest. 

"How?"

"It doesn't matter. I had to see you." 

You nod. "Not much longer now until Feyre's first task... Any idea what it might be?" 

"No. Nobody knows."

"Can we sit?" 

"Of course." He picks you up, walking over to the chair by the fire and sitting, setting you on his lap. You lean your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He plays with your hair, and you sigh contentedly. It has been far too long since anyone has touched you with so much care and compassion. With love. 

"I need you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"If Feyre..." You take a deep breath, steeling yourself. "If Feyre dies... I don't know what will happen to me. Amarantha may just kill me. But if she doesn't. If she decides to keep me as a plaything for others to use… I want you to kill me.”

He whispers your name, a pained look on his face. 

“Lucien, please. I can't live the rest of my life like this. I can't. I'm not strong enough.” 

“I can't do that…”

You look up at him, eyes bright with tears. The sight breaks his heart.

“Please.” 

He relents, nodding. “I promise.” 

He prays to the Mother and whatever gods may be listening that he won't have to. But he knows one thing for certain, if he does have to kill you, he’ll follow close behind, hoping that wherever your souls end up you can be happy together. You brush your thumb across his cheek, catching a stray tear. 

“I don't think it will come to that. I think Feyre can do it. But I wanted to have a back up plan, just in case.” 

“I… Understand.” 

“Luc… look at me, please.” 

He looks down at you, and your eyes meet. You can see everything he's feeling, all the pain, the fear, but most of all, you see the love shining through all of it. 

“I love you, Lucien. With all of my heart. And I am so sorry that I have to ask so much of you.” 

“I love you too.” You lean up and kiss him. One of his hands finds its way into your hair, holding you to him. After a moment, you pull back to breathe.

“I want you.” 

“You have me. I'm right here.”

Your cheeks flush. “No. I want you.”

You see it as realization dawns in his eyes.

“That's not why I came here. I just wanted to see you. Hold you.” 

“I know. That's part of why I want you. Because you care about me and how I feel. About what I want. About my desires. If you don't want… We can just sit like this. This is more than enough. More than I ever thought I'd get to experience with you again.” 

He just stares at you a moment before standing suddenly, causing you to squeal and wrap your arms around his neck. He carries you over to the bed, gingerly setting you amongst the pillows.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asks, sitting next to you, brushing his hand across your ribs. 

“Yes. I want you. I choose you.” He leans down to kiss you, his hand trailing from your ribs to your waist. 

“As long as this is what you want. If you change your mind. If you want me to stop. At any point. I don't care when, promise you'll tell me?” He shifts so he's kneeling between your thighs, sliding his hands to your hips.

“I promise.” 

“Good.” He leans down to kiss you, his hands tugging your dress up so it pools at your waist. He trails his hands back down to your hips, savoring the way the soft flesh feels, before hooking his fingers into your underwear and pulling them down, tossing them aside. He trails kisses up the inside of one thigh and then the other, smiling at the soft whine that you make. He does it once more, breathing in the scent of your arousal. Finally, when you open your mouth, ready to beg for him to put his mouth where you want it, he spreads your legs, licking up your center to your clit. You let out a breathy moan, hands tangling in his long hair, as his tongue circles the bundle of nerves. He slides a finger into you, curling it up into that spot inside of you that has you seeing stars. 

Before long, he's adding in another finger, his free hand reaching up to grope at your covered breasts. You let out a loud moan, tugging on his hair, so close to falling over that edge. He flicks his tongue across your clit just right and you fall over the edge, climaxing. He presses wet kisses to your thigh, fingers still going as you come down from your high, enjoying the way you pull his hair so hard it almost hurts. He pulls his fingers out, chuckling at your needy whine, sucking them into his mouth and licking them clean. He grabs your wrists, squeezing them gently to get you to release your grip on his hair so he can sit up. 

He looks into your eyes, looking for any sign that you want him to stop. You speak, as if you had read his mind. 

“Luc, I want you. I need you. Please.” You sit up, reaching for the buckle of his belt. He lets you, pulling his shirt off as you undo his trousers. He stands, pulling them down his thighs, kicking off his boots with them, and as he does you pull your dress off over your head, tossing it so it lands in a heap on the floor. 

You lay back against the pillows, spreading your legs for him, and he pauses for a moment, taking in the sight, before climbing back onto the bed and settling between your thighs. You tense briefly, but he's watching you closely enough to notice the movement. “Do we need to stop?”

“I… I don't want to.” He cups your cheek and you lean into the touch, closing your eyes.

“I know, Love. I know.” You take a deep breath and blow it out, frustrated at how unfair it all is. “Can we try a different way? Maybe if you sit up against the headboard?” He does as you ask, his hands finding a place on your waist as you straddle his hips. You let out a breath, visibly relaxing. 

“Better?”

“Yes.” You grind down on him, smiling at the way he moans, eyes fluttering shut. You do it again and he curses. You don't have enough patience for much more teasing though, your hand reaching between your bodies to stroke his hard cock, lining it up with your entrance. You both moan together at the way he feels stretching you. You lean your forehead against his, just enjoying the way he's filling you up. 

After a moment, you start to move, letting out a low keening moan. Lucien thrusts up into you, looking into your eyes. One of your hands tangles into the hair at the top of his neck, the other pulling one of his hands from its grip on your waist, intertwining your fingers. You both pick up the pace, moaning at the way your pussy clenches around him. 

His hand still on your waist trails down between your bodies to circle your clit. He's getting close, and he wants you to find your release at the same time he does. You kiss him, putting all of your love for him into it. He climaxes shortly after, taking you with him. You all but collapse against his chest, breathing heavy, body tired after two orgasms. 

He slowly, carefully lays down without pulling out, wanting to keep your bodies joined as closely together as possible, pulling the blankets over you. You press kisses to his neck and shoulder, smiling when he kisses the top of your head. He traces his fingers up and down your spine, the action lulling you to sleep. 

“Sleep now, Love. I'll be here to keep you safe.”

A/N: Showing my baby Lucien the love he deserves. I'll eventually post more Before & After, but I also have another thing I started writing with the intent of it being for that that has taken on a life of its own that I'll post when it's done. As per usual, requests are open! I have a couple prompt posts I reblogged and I'd love to get a couple of those!

divider is by @tsunami-of-tears

[1dcommunityficrecs]

Rec List: Polyamory!

Happy day-after(-day-after)-Valentine's. What's better than love? MORE LOVE.

I absolutely love how excited y'all were for this category -- we have 22 amazing fics, with a wide variety of groupings. We have OT5, Zourry, Zouiam, Zourriam, as well as ships with people outside the band like Emma Corrin, Elgar Johnson, and a bunch of Stylinshaw. We've got fics from 2,000 words to 200,000 words, from Teen to Explicit, and just reading the summaries and recommendation reasons has me absolutely vibrating with excitement to dive into some of these -- my TBR just keeps getting longer!

Read, reblog, kudos, comment, share, and get ready for the next list!

Daisy Chains by inkandella/@shehungthemoon (15617, Teen, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

A canon timeline fic where the boys have been solo for a bit now; it's a realistic take as to how the five of them could have a relationship with each other being who they are, and how they build a home from themselves away from everything else. Love-letters through text messages and grocery shopping and writing music for each other

Reccer says: I love how there's this already established love between all five of them, and the fic just sort of cements it and lets it grow into something permanent. The author captures Louis' voice so well and it's just really charming and fun to read. Everything's sickeningly sweet in the best ways and it feels like a balm, there's just enough realistic angst to tug you along and ofc a happy ending.

Tell Me It's The Strongest Shape by YesIsAWorld/@louandhazaf (73224, Explicit, Louis Tomlinson/Nick Grimshaw/Elgar Johnson) – fic post Warnings: Grief/Mourning

Nick and Elgar have it all. They’re famous, successful, and engaged to be married—and sometimes they play with others. When uni student Louis gets street cast by Elgar for a GQ photoshoot, he's drawn into Nick and Elgar’s complicated relationship. They've always invited mates into their bed. It doesn’t ever mean anything. Until… it does.

Reccer says: This fic is everything, I wish I could read it again for the first time. The characters are imperfect and the relationships so tender, and the LOVE. I want to live in this fic.

I Like Different Places (Nobody Calls It a Sin) by YesIsAWorld/@louandhazaf (3746, Not Rated, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

The one where Harry comes out to his family.

Reccer says: I am obsessed with every word of this fic. The relationships are so DELIGHTFUL, and I have so much empathy for Harry.

Equilateral by HelloAmHere/@helloamhere (52158, Explicit, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Harry and Louis are childhood best friends. Louis moves home from NY and becomes close to Harry. And his boyfriend Zayn.

Reccer says: The fic of bad feelings! This is a work in progess, and every update has been enthralling and magical and all the things. Hello is a gift.

The Only Things That Keeps Me Grounded by lululawrence/@lululawrence (27664, Not Rated, Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

Harry is trying so hard not to fall in love with a married guy, let alone two married guys, let alone two married guys married to each other. But it turns out that the married guys are also trying not to fall in love with him. Sometimes, you just have to let it happen.

Reccer says: I have a hard time being coherent about this fic, it is so very good and I love it a lot. I love how Harry falls in love with Nick and Louis, and the scene where he overhears them lives in my marrow. I particularly liked all the conversations and the focus on consent, how everyone is so respectful and considerate almost to a fault -- no one wants to push but also OH MY GOD JUST KISS ALREADY HE LIKES YOU BACK

Orion's Belt by LadyLondonderry/@londonfoginacup (24307, Mature, Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

Louis and Nick have been in a happy committed relationship for two years, their matching soulmarks on display for the world to see. It’s been them against the world, the alpha/beta singer and radio DJ power duo. All that changes on February 1st, when they wake up to a third matching soulmark. As they say, the course of true love never did run smooth.

Reccer says: this fic is AMAZING

Take the Middle Path by yeah_alright/@uhoh-but-yeah-alright (2580, Explicit, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

Harry's desires are plentiful and complicated in a way that's always worried and confused him. Being with Louis and Zayn helps him explore the seemingly disparate aspects of who he is and what he wants, and to realize he doesn't have to choose just one.

Reccer says: this grabbed me by the throat at the killer opening line and didn't let me go until the very end (or, has it let me go yet?).

Moonstruck by Lhhome/@lhhomefics (9318, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson/Emma Corrin) – fic post

Harry is just trying to figure himself out, Louis just wants to help his long-term partner but doesn't know how and Emma's best friend Florence just might claim she is a matchmaker.

Reccer says: This fic is so, so lovely. I love how it flowed, and the build was so natural.

another friday night by wabadabadaba/@badger-bear (74493, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson/Original Female Character) – fic post Warnings: Biphobia, Mentions of Suicide

Louis Tomlinson thought signing to BMG would mean he would be free to make his own choices. He should have known better. Tasked with getting a public girlfriend, Louis decides to try his hand at finding the right woman himself. From the moment he met Lennon Adair he felt a connection with her but he had no idea how deep that connection would go.

Reccer says: This is such a lovely contribution to our fandom. The author took the time to let the story progress, and there was so much love and care put into it.

Abstract by star55/@star55 (8414, Explicit, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

After Zayn draws a naked Harry for her art class, she finds that she can't stop drawing Harry and Louis' naked bodies, usually engaged in some form of sexual activity.

Reccer says: This fic is hot and delightful and did I mention hot??

And That Was That by lightswoodmagic (sarah_writes)/@lightwoodsmagic (22550, Explicit, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

Or, Zayn and Liam have been polyamorous for years, but Harry and Louis are monogamous. When Zayn meets Louis and starts to fall for him, it opens them all up for something they've never experienced before.

Reccer says: This fic lives in my head rent free. I love how each chapter is a different POV, and seeing the story develop from each character's POV. The story progresses so beautifully, and I love the characters, and I love how the chemistry leaps off the page.

That’s Happiness To Me by louislittletomlintum/@louislittletomlintum (25000, Explicit, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

Zayn and Louis are friends with benefits and have a crush on the same person but they don’t know it. Non-conventional relationships between most people in the fic!

Reccer says: I liked how it had aro representation which I don’t often see in fics - I also liked how the perspective changes. And the smut 🥵 please bully the author to write more poly!!!

Parallel by SomeDovesFly/@somedovesfly (96651, Explicit, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

OT5 poly AU, BDSM comfort fic. OT5 work on a hit show. This is a story about the Happily Ever After

Reccer says: Absolutely the healthiest BDSM fic I've ever read, communication, realistic scenes and so much love and spice!

Balance by SomeDovesFly/@somedovesfly (104400, Explicit, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Continuing happily ever after! Boys navigating living together, new relationships, jealousy and self doubt, and so much smut, kink, and love

Reccer says: Fantastic kink and smut, but wrapped in love and communication

Equilibrium by SomeDovesFly/@somedovesfly (148062, Explicit, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) Warnings: Graphic Depiction of Violence

The boys are continuing their kinky lives, with someone's past coming to haunt them

Reccer says: They're growing in their roles within the relationship. Angst and drama in this one!

Constellation (Previously called Four) by SomeDovesFly/@somedovesfly (231958, Explicit, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

The boys are reaching new levels of their relationship, both in and out of kink

Reccer says: Fantastic depiction of a polygamous relationship, showing the love and jealousy that can come with, even if no one is in the wrong

Just Let Me Adore You by Anonymous/ (63432, Explicit, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Soulmate au that's OT5, a story of getting together

Reccer says: Lots of love, some angst, and just a sprinkling of smut

You Only Fall In Love Twice by Beanno28/@beanno28 (57670, Explicit, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

Louis meets popstar Harry Styles while he is working at a festival and they hit it off right away. When he is introduced to Harry’s boyfriend, Zayn, Louis is invited to learn about their world of Polyamory. Will he decide it’s not for him or will he embrace the new lifestyle? This could be the start of something new…

Reccer says: I loved the communication in this fic and how all of them had their own dynamics and approached their relationships at a pace that felt right for them individually. I also really liked how the discovery of polyamory is described, with the struggles but also all the love between them.For the first time ever it made me understand what it could be/feel like.

Out of Our Systems by Rearviewdreamer/@all-these-larrythings (34000, Explicit, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

After a year of long distance, Louis knows exactly what to expect when he and Harry finally move in together. An endless loop of good morning kisses, romantic weekends exploring the city, and falling asleep in each other's arms every night is all they’ve ever wanted. Then, they meet Zayn.

Reccer says: It’s hot !!! And there’s also love

Equilateral by HelloAmHere/@helloamhere (58000 at time of submission -- WIP, Explicit, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Harry and Zayn try to cheer up their single friend Louis, but what starts off as an experimental threesome quickly grows into something more complex.

Reccer says: The author calls this the fic of bad feelings, and for good reason. There's so much angst and pain, but also touching moments where they are learning to navigate the messiness that comes with a longtime friendship changing and growing into a poly relationship.

Make It Up As We Go Along by lululawrence/@lululawrence (52000, Not Rated, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

A baby left on their doorstep shakes up their lives. A Three Men and a Baby AU

Reccer says: There's so much chaos and it comes together brilliantly with the addition of each of the boys.

The Grundy County Auction Incident by haztobegood/@haztobegood (4000, Teen, Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

Harry is a sugar baby on the lookout for a new daddy (or two) at a rural livestock auction.

Reccer says: It is inspired by the country song The Grundy County Auction Incident

[artificial-transmutations]

Trophy Husband

"That's your boyfriend?" Charlie knew exactly where this was going. He had just shown Linda, a good friend of his, a picture of his boyfriend Theodore, and she already made 'the face'.

"But isn't he..." she began and trailed off, probably searching for a way to phrase it nicely.

Charlie could have helped her, as he knew exactly what she was going to say, but he let her suffer.

"... Perhaps a tiny bit older than you?"

It was true, and Charlie couldn't even be mad at Linda for pointing it out. He would probably have done so, too, if he were in her shoes. The fact was that Theodore was indeed older than Charlie, and not just a bit. With his forty-six years, he was more than twice as old as 21 year old Charlie, and could definitely pass as his father.

"I know."

Charlie knew it, and Linda knew it too. Even though Charlie loved Theodore dearly, he knew what people would think about them. People often assumed that an older man would take advantage of a younger one - that Charlie was kind of a trophy boyfriend for Theodore.

"But it's nothing weird. We're just in love, that's all."

Charlie could tell Linda was not convinced, but forced a smile and nodded, congratulating him on his new relationship.

Later, at dinner with his boyfriend, Charlie told Theodore about his encounter with Linda.

"You know, it's so weird to talk to my friends about us. They all assume that you are some kind of weirdo, or I am just a trophy boyfriend for you. Sometimes I hate that I'm so young compared to you." Charlie said, with a twinge of unhappiness.

Theodore smiled warmly and put his hand on Charlie's knee.

"Well, they couldn't be more wrong. I genuinely love you my dear. You're the only person that matters to me, and you always will be."

Charlie felt his heart melting, and he leaned over the table to kiss his boyfriend.

"Besides, what's wrong with being young? You're so energetic and good looking. Look at me, I have wrinkles already, and my hair is graying. I'm stuck in a boring dead-end office job, and I know that nobody would hire me anymore. I really do wish to be as young as you are again.", he adds with a tender smile.

"You shouldn't. Being young isn't so great. Nobody takes me seriously because I look like I just finished school. And talking about jobs: I can't find a good job either, because everyone is looking for the twenty year old with ten years of experience now. It's ridiculous. I wish I could just magically leave that all behind me and be as old as you. Then nobody would think of us as a weird couple."

After this heart-to-heart, both men grew silent.

Theodore felt weird. The conversation had a strange weight that still resonated between the two of them. Did he really look that old? He stood up and went over to the large mirror in his living room. Sure, he had some wrinkles, and his hair and beard were graying, but it wasn't so bad, right?

He went with his hand over his wrinkles and stretched his skin. Surprisingly enough, once he removed his hand, his skin stayed exactly like that - no more wrinkles, only firm skin. It gave his face a youthful impression he had long lost. It didn't stop there, though. Like a bushfire, the firm skin extended from the point where he touched it outward, quickly stretching out all the wrinkles in his face. The skin cleaned up in the process, as it stretched and firmed.

His hair, too, changed. All the little gray hairs that had appeared over the years returned to their original black color - a process most notably in his stubbly beard that grew more impressive by the minute before suddenly disappearing completely, leaving his chin clean-shaven.

As the transformation spread downward, Theodore hurried to get out of his shirt, to have a better look.

His belly that had turned slightly flabby shrank and became fitter, as did his ass. His biceps grew thicker and his pecs bigger, while his legs became more muscular. All the extra weight he had gained throughout the years seemed to simply melt away, as if he had spent the last decades in a strict fitness program.

Theodore regarded himself in the mirror with a proud smile on his face. Not only did he look fitter, but also younger. His chest hair disappeared just like his beard hat, leaving behind only a muscular and young well-groomed chest worthy of a movie star. His trousers shortened and turned into a completely white pair of shorts, with a generous bulge growing in them. Theodore gave it a squeeze, amazed by the amount of cockmeat he had gained. He could feel himself getting hard just by looking at his reflection. Theodore's eyes turned a bright blue, and blonde dyed highlights appeared in his hair.

Theo shook his head and smirked. He was just looking awesome, as always. And also as always, he was feeling really horny!

He cupped his bulge as he turned around.

Charlie was watching from behind him in awe. What had just happened? He had watched Theodore transform into a young muscular bodybuilder. That couldn't be right!

Still, Charlie himself felt a weird tingling sensation in his body. Fine little hair grew all over him, itching as it did so. Charlie, too got rid of his shirt and pants, standing only in boxers, to watch what was going on. His chest was quickly filled with short brown hairs that continued down in a treasure trail to disappear into his boxers. Underneath the hair, however, his body firmed up considerably. He, too, grew fitter and more muscular than he had before, but it was a different kind of body from the one Theodo- wait, that felt wrong. Charlie frowned and tried the thought again. It was a different kind of body from the one Theo had. Better. It was a product of years of willpower and work, not the easily malleable flesh of youth. That was a body he had worked on for decades!

Charlie watched the hair on his chest turn gray, as he looked down on himself with his usual stern look. It was just his standard way of looking, a fact that made most of his subordinates feel uneasy. Being the CEO of a multi-million dollar company left hardly any time for smiling or all this nonsense. He had to exert authority at every time.

His hair became shorter, styled into a perfect and expensive cut, as their color turned the same silver as his body hair. He touched his face with his weathered, strong hands, feeling the wrinkles all the stress and years of his live have brought him. Sometimes, Charles asked himself if he was getting old. But no. With his 49 years, he was still perfectly in control. He had money, power and authority, and still a great body. And contrary to popular believe, money could buy happiness.

He looked over to his husband Theo, who was busy admiring himself in the mirror again. He was half his age, and dumb as a brick. He would never succeed in live, but he didn't need to. All he needed to do was look good on Charles' side, keep his body in check and present his ass every time Charles' python, which was growing hard in the tight underwear that were once boxer shorts, needed release.

He didn't need to decide or think. Charles' was the one paying the bills and Charles' was the one in control here. Theo was just his trophy husband - and both were very happy with that.

Another request from a subscriber over at my riot page that they chose to make publicitly available. Enjoy!

[smosh-fessions]

this is kind of a hateful ask so feel free to just delete, but i watched guts (angela's short film) and some of the comments kinda disappointed me. it was such a well written, well acted, well directed short film and it was emotional and meaningful! media about eating disorders that's really honest and emotional isn't super triggering is so rare and greatly appreciated! i just hated that there were so many comments just about angela. granted, there's a lot of thoughtful comments and people saying the same thing as i am right now- but there are also a few comments of people being incapable of doing anything but talk about angela and her being on smosh. and it was enough upon initial release for me to notice and be frustrated by.

art is so difficult and this film was a team effort, why do certain fans want everyone to know that they're there mostly for angela and nobody else? does that not feel disrespectful to them? i felt similarly when patrick's short film came out- he and amanda have incredible chemistry and acted off each other with such natural tension and patrick was so menacing, towing the line between kooky and an actual threat. but all some people talked about in the comments and social media was amangela- which was only in the film for like. 5 minutes. yes, it's sweet and kinda gay that amanda wanted angela to be her wife for the film but that's literally such a small part of the film. there were other things going on.

it just frustrates me that when people like angela who are members of really popular groups make art outside that group, the fans of said group can't engage with the art that they're a part of without appreciating all the other people involved or the story being told. i 100% totally understand it- i would not have been served either short film had i not been a fan of smosh in the first place and i'm excited to see the cast members and patrick outside of smosh and especially for them to be so serious and good. but oh my god where is the decorum?

this rant was spurred on by seeing the fact that dan and phil fans (of which i am one) in the youtube comments section did not appreciate the other simmers on the sims anniversary livestream and just spammed dan and phil things the whole time. im begging some of u thst if ur gonna engage with media, pls for the love of god, show some love to everybody involved! it's cute that smosh appreciates the crew as much as they do- so let's keep that same energy for outside projects!! also this isn't critique of angela- she did incredible in both guts and i live in your house! i love her! i am angela giarratanamaxxing as we speak (idk what i mean by that but i am), but more a critique on how certain people engage with media. pls have some decorum, divas!

I agree a million percent. It's fine to leave a comment that you're happy to see more of Angela's talent, but as you said, people act like she (or whoever) is the ONLY person who made it.

It's not done in malice most of the time, I don't think, but that doesn't change the impact it has. I would be disappointed to see no comments on the rest of my film and only comments about one of the actors if I were Margeaux.

The film was wonderful and hit home for me more than I expected it to, and I wish more people took the time to look at these things for what they are as opposed to just a vehicle for more Angela.

This was very well said.

[sparks-polls]

The results of round 1 are in!

We have mainly concluded that nobody's having fun.

this is it #this poll is finally going to end me #we're starting with a 'would you rather shoot your grandma or your dog' kind of choice #fffffaaaaacckkkkk #TWO BAD BITCHES STAND BEFORE YOU #this is devastating truly #OH FUCK NO #THIS IS THE HARDEST ONE YET OH MY GODD #CRUEL #I voted but this was brutal #i am very sad about this matchup #WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA #THIS ONE IS EVIL #aw come on #THIS IS TORTUREEEE #you can't #noooooo i love both of these songs so much #why oh why #ah shit. #oh NO!! #ah damn #this one is MEAN #ouchhhhh #cries #ooooh fuck. #this is so sad #oofffff #this hurts 😭 #oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #😭😭😭😭😭😭 #noooooo #😭 #wtf why #oh bloody hell #YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME #oh I see we are choosing violence #aw man #this isnt fair #oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no #someone please tell me which is winning so I can vote for the underdog #seething at these being pit against each other #how very DARE #asdlkjfldsafsdag #I DON'T WANT TO. #I DON'T WANT TO AHGGHGH #HAVE WE NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH #YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME (VOL 2) #grrrrrr #I'm growling at this poll #how can I choose 😫 #okay well this one was difficult for ME. leave me alone #ahhhhhh #this is evil #noooooooooooooooo #aughhhhhhh #akhf;ldsfdsaf #😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #shit. #this is literally impossible. #this is just hurtful #this is not funny #ffs #STOP THIS IS TORTURE #damn this is difficult #ooooooofffffff #ouch #my vote's gonna haunt me #maybe i'll come back to vote when i'm done sobbing #today we are suffering #damn you and damn this poll. DAMN I SAY #THIS POLL IS AN ATTACK DIRECTED AT ME SPECIFICALLY #PAIN!!!!!!! #oh no. #this is really hard #no no no no no no no #oh fuuuuuuck #noooooo #I #I'm very surprised and that's rare… #oh no #aa ouch #:o #oh no oh no #afhjdfh tough #my day is ruined now thanks #awful pairing 0 out of 10 very painful do not recommend #I can’t believe it #this is cruel #i am so shaken by this #first poll where i actually can't bring myself to vote for either option. painnnnnnn #this one is just cruel though #oh no another difficult one #ooffffffffff #HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME 😭 #oh. oh no can I have both 🥲 #oof here we go again. what the actual hell #oohohhhh shittt#this is impossible 😭😭😭 #This is truly the cruelest choice for me personally. #why would you do this to us? #i give up

Anywho. 32 songs are still in the running so let's do all of this again! :) The polls for round 2 start dropping tomorrow.

The songs that have been ruthlessly eliminated: High C, Fletcher Honorama, (No More) Mr. Nice Guys, The Louvre, Hasta Mañana, Monsieur, Talent Is An Asset, Hospitality On Parade, Get In The Swing, Under The Table With Her, Pineapple, Looks, Looks, Looks, Big Boy, I Want To Be Like Everybody Else, I Bought The Mississippi River, Occupation, I’m Not, Forever Young, La Dolce Vita, My Other Voice, Stereo, The Greatest Show On Earth, Where’s My Girl, Upstairs, I Married A Martian, Wacky Woman, Popularity, Please, Baby, Please, I Wish I Looked A Little Better, Dance Godammit, With All My Might, Rosebud, Love-O-Rama, The Toughest Girl In Town, Let’s Make Love, Let’s Go Surfing, Pulling Rabbits Out Of A Hat [Plagiarism, Amateur Hour (feat. Erasure), Propaganda [Plagiarism], The No. 1 Song In Heaven (with Jimmy Somerville), More Than A Sex Machine, Scheherazade, Aeroflot, The Calm Before The Storm, (Baby, Baby) Can I Invade Your Country, Waterproof, I Can't Believe That You Would Fall For All The Crap In This Song, Likeable, Limo Driver (Welcome To Hollywood), The Studio Commissary, "We've Got To Turn Him 'Round", Garbo Sings, Sherlock Holmes [THOM live version], The Number One Song In Heaven [THOM live version], Collaborations Don't Work, Life With The Macbeths, All That, Lawnmower, Stravinsky's Only Hit, Left Out In The Cold, Self-Effacing, Nothing Is As Good As They Say It Is, Escalator, The Mona Lisa's Packing, Leaving Late Tonight, You Were Meant For Me.

The songs that are still in the running: Slowboat, Girl From Germany, Beaver O'Lindy, Moon Over Kentucky, Amateur Hour, Falling In Love With Myself Again, Here In Heaven, At Home, At Work, At Play, Don't Leave Me Alone With Her, Never Turn Your Back On Mother Earth, Something For The Girl With Everything, Achoo, In The Future, Everybody’s Stupid, I Like Girls, Goofing Off, Those Mysteries, Tryouts For The Human Race, The Number One Song In Heaven, When I’m With You, Tips For Teens, Funny Face, Angst In My Pants, Sherlock Holmes, Moustache, The Decline And Fall Of Me, Eaten By The Monster Of Love, All You Ever Think About Is Sex, Pulling Rabbits Out Of A Hat, Pretending To Be Drunk, Progess, A Song That Sings Itself, Music That You Can Dance To, Change, So Important, When Do I Get To Sing "My Way", (When I Kiss You) I Hear Charlie Parker Playing, Now That I Own The BBC, Never Turn Your Back One Mother Earth [Plagiarism], Balls, The Rhythm Thief, Ride 'Em Cowboy, My Baby's Taking Me Home, Suburban Homeboy, Dick Around, Rock, Rock, Rock, As I Sit Down To Play The Organ At The Notre Dame Cathedral, Good Morning, I've Never Been High, (She Got Me) Pregnant, "Mr. Bergman, How Are You?", Two Hands One Mouth [THOM live version], Johnny Delusional, Police Encounters, So Desu Ne, Missionary Position, Edith Piaf (Said It Better Than Me), What The Hell Is It This Time?, I Wish You Were Fun, Onomato Pia, The Existential Threat, Veronica Lake, Take Me For A Ride, It Doesn't Have To Be That Way. (Congratulations to Propaganda, Angst In My Pants and Lil' Beethoven for not losing a single song in this round!)

[wholelottaprompts]

Dance Fever Prompts

⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙

from Florence + the Machine's Dance Fever album

I was never satisfied, it never let me go.

I am nobody's moral center.

I am committed now, to the feeling.

I couldn't help it, yes, I let it in.

You know I deserve it.

Come here, baby, tell me that I'm wrong.

You can take your complaints straight to the lord.

They put crosses on the doors to try and keep me out.

You said this could have been the best thing that ever happened to you.

Heaven is here if you want it.

Sometimes I wonder if I should be medicated.

Did I disappoint you?

I used to see the future and now I see nothing.

Do I wait for time to do what it does?

I'm always running from something.

I told the band to leave without me.

I'm back in town, why don't we go out?

I'll get the next flight.

Well, did you miss me?

There is no bad, there is no good.

Being clever never got me very far.

Just when you think you have it figured out, something new begins to take.

I don't love you, I just love the bomb.

You could never hold me, you like me better in your head.

It's all in my head.

I always lived in my head.

You'll be sorry that you messed with me.

I'll show you what it means to be sad.

What strange claws are these scratching at my skin?

Did mommy make you sad?

I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king.

Do I just remind you of every girl that made you mad?

"You're too sensitive", they said.

Am I quiet enough for you yet?

I never thought it would get this far.

Okay, but let's discuss this at the hospital.

I just kept spinning and I danced myself to death.

When I'm dancing, I am free.

Song always made sense to me.

You said that rock and roll is dead, but is that just because it has not been resurrected in your image?

Sometimes I see so much beauty, I don't think that I can cope.

I'm thinking about her.

You wouldn't want me, would you?

Why don't you give me a call?

Am I your dream girl?

When someone looks at me with real love, I don't like it very much.

I met the Devil, you know, he gave me a choice.

I guess I got my wish.

I've blown apart my life for you.

Is this how it is? Is this how it's always been?

All my friends are getting ill.

The very thing you're best at is the thing that hurts the most.

It wasn't me, it was the song.

I was never as good as I always thought I was.

I know I may not look like much

I don't know how it started.

Is this something that you would like to discuss?

You know I'm still afraid.

Can you see me? I cannot see you.

Can you hear me? I cannot hear you.

I've been expecting you, I'm ready.

But quiet and still.

I'm still crazy and I'm still scared.

Do they speak to you?

I should've come with a warning.

Something's coming.

[romanoffsbish]

A Prompt List

Feel free to pick and choose from the list for your own stories, as well as send in requests (view my masterlist for who I write for) with whatever prompts if you please, 🥰

Angst/Fluff/Smut prompts listed. (18+)

Bonus points if you take the assigned genre and flip it 🤔😏

———

Angst

“Are you serious?” / “I never wanted this!”

“This was never real, was it?” / “I was just a warm body for those cold winter nights…”

“You are vile…” / “I can’t believe I ever believed someone like you could love me.”

“Nothing good ever lasts.” / “Goodbye.”

“I love you.” / “It’s not enough this time.”

“Please, don’t leave me, we can fix this.” /“You left me first, I’m just finishing the job.”

“I love you Y/N.” / “Why do people only say that to me when they’ve wronged me? Am I not deserving of the guiltless love? Like the ones I see in fairytales, where they get swept away smiling, and not where I curl up to weep in my bed for another damn night.”

“I’m sorry.” / “For what exactly? Breaking my trust, and in turn my fragile heart? Or do you only mean that you got caught?”

“I can’t even look at you anymore.” / “Please…” / “This is the end for us.”

“I can’t live without you, I won’t survive.” / “Then I guess I’ll be back for your funeral.”

Fluff

“There’s nobody else I’d ever love like this.”

“Everything I do is for you—my beloved.”

*while stargazing* “If I could, I’d rearrange the stars for you, have them map out your face, because a beauty like yours should transcend the bounds of Earth my darling.”

“I can’t believe that the world had infinite chances to find me a soulmate, and I lucked out and hit the absolute jackpot with you.”

“Did you know that a kiss is worth a thousand words?” / “You should kiss me.”

“You’re the most gorgeous person here.” / “I’d never lie to you darling, god, I wish you could see you the way I do” / “Perfect.”

“Call them —, the worst they could do is say no to you, and trust me, they won’t…” / “They said yes!!!”

“I’ve loved you since the first time I ever laid my eyes on you.” / “Well damn, why’s it taken you so long to make a move then?”

“I can’t believe my cat/dog loves you more than it’s ever loved me.” / “Actually, on second thought it makes sense, you’re far too lovable to even question it; *pets name* you have good taste.”

“I will never tire of watching you sleeping next to me, you’re just so peaceful, and I get to celebrate that you’re all mine.”

Smut

“Careful what you wish for baby, because I’m nothing if not generous…”

“Where should I sit?” / “The couch works just fine, but if you prefer comfort, my face works far better my darling.”

“I’m not letting you go until you’ve either drenched the sheets, or passed out.”

“Fuck me like you mean it —, let everybody know I’m yours before I no longer am.”

“Aww, did my precious little dove think I’d just let that little stunt go?” / “I was hoping so.” / “You’re sadly mistaken toots, now prepare yourself for a long night full of passion, and if you’re lucky—pain.”

“Mommy isn’t very pleased with the outfit you chose to wear tonight, you made those fools think they stood a chance.” / “Maybe they did.” / *incredulous laughter* “Is that right baby? I go on one week long business trip and you just forget who you belong to? Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll remind you.”

“Stay still, or I’ll have you warming daddy’s cock all night long.” / “That’s a good girl.”

“I-I can’t take anymore, please.” / “You can take it, and you’ll do it graciously, one more complaint and I’ll edge you all month.”

“Kiss me, please.” / “Is that all you want baby, is for me to kiss you?” / “N-no, I also want you to fuck me senseless, but a kiss sounded far more romantic.”

“If you don’t fuck me, I’ll be doing it myself!” / “I’m coming!” / “No, I am!”

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY DORIAN PAVUS  *  assorted dialogue from dragon age inquisition, updated version

i don't care what they think about me. i care what they think about us.

i like you. more than i should. more than might be wise.

discretion isn't your thing, is it?

all this dancing, politics, and murder makes me a bit homesick.

i suppose it really depends. how bad do you want to be?

living a lie... it festers inside of you, like poison.

i'm a man of many talents. what can i say?

the moment i saw you, i thought "there's a man who knows quality."

if you don't come through this, i swear i'll kill you.

i'm curious where this goes, you and i. we've had fun. perfectly reasonable to leave it here.

here is my proposal: we dispense with the chitchat and move on to something more primal.

i tease you too much, i know.

i'll have to find something we can do that doesn't involve teasing.

time to drink myself into a stupor. it's been that sort of day.

i see you enjoy playing with fire.

i like playing hard to get.

i'm not suggesting we venture into mutual domesticity.

if it's a trap, we escape and kill everyone. you're good at that.

talk to me. let me hear how mystified you are by my anger.

oh, i'm not arguing. just pointing out the ridiculously obvious.

if you choose to leave your door unlocked like a savage, i may or may not come.

now... what was i talking about? ah, yes. me.

i am apparently an incredible ass at accepting gifts.

i prefer the company of men.

would you prefer me bound and leashed?

sometimes the ones you love are also the ones who disappoint you the most.

you are the man i love, [name]. nothing will truly keep us apart.

the things you ask are just... very personal.

sometimes... love isn't enough.

there will always be an "us." we'll just be... farther apart, for a time.

i had no idea something like you was possible.

i'm imagining what you would look like in a dress.

i've never seen you smile so much!

i have no idea what you're talking about.

you stand there, flexing your muscles, huffing like some beast of burden with no thought save conquest.

you're shaping the world for good or ill. how could i aspire to do any less?

my footsies are freezing, thank you.

don't you ever bathe?

you're not suggesting we're similar.

watch where you're pointing that thing!

i'm not wearing a skirt.

it's significantly more impressive than hitting them with a sharp piece of metal.

i only meant to say i'm very sorry for your loss.

we can continue this dance forever, if you wish.

i'm saying we should be careful what we assume when it comes to such matters.

demons don't appreciate a man with good hair.

what i wouldn't give for some proper wine.

your outfit's entertaining. i'll give you that.

he had to leave early on account of assassination.

it's nice to know you have friends.

i'm here to do what is right.

come on, just answer the question.

they were asking me about you. personal things.

you said we'd be ass-deep in trouble. this is more like knee-high.

so what's your estimation? think we can win?

you can't call me pampered. nobody's peeled a grape for me in weeks.

you startled me. you're always so... nondescript.

you're a special and unique snowflake. live the dream.

i wanted to see you make flowers bloom with your song. just once.

you've done a lot less dancing naked in the moonlight than expected.

i've never seen anyone in this part of the world do it.

i realize there's more to you than that.

have i offended you?

for hating the outdoors, you sure seem to like bad weather.

i can't figure you out, [name].

you don't play their stupid game, they send an assassin or three your way.

i can't believe you're scared of magic.

i'm going to take that as a compliment.

still don't like me, [name]? after all this time?

[name], i owe you an apology.

i suspect people will use any excuse to hate us.

why be ashamed? power should be respected, not swept under the carpet.

maybe you're not a complete moron.

i just need to know you're capable of higher thought. for my own comfort.

it would take work. and soap. lots and lots of soap.

[andismemestash]

Marianas Trench Phantoms lyric starters - other Marianas Trench album starters

“Hey, do you hear me?”

“Stay near me now.”

“Please be here.”

“Silence shares my madness.”

“I’d rather hurt here than be happy somewhere else.”

“I know a love like this will end in tragedy.”

“I know we won’t get out alive.”

“He’ll never know you, not the way that I know you.”

“It hurts like hell to love this well, but no one falls the way we fell.”

“I’ve never given into madness.”

“I’m better now than before.”

“That’s not who I am anymore.”

“You still haunt the corner of my eye.”

“I just want to make it vanish.”

“The notes of an old mistake still ring louder every day.”

“Who said don’t look down?”

“I can’t stop myself from falling now.”

“Echoes of you repeating from the corner of my mind.”

“Been forever since you crossed my mind.”

“I guess it’s true how time can fly.”

“I know I said that I would call, but I never think of you at all.”

“It’s not like I miss your laughter.”

“It’s not like I can’t get past it.”

“I tell myself that I can do with the space between me and you.”

“I’m just a drink away from honesty, so who knows what’s true?”

“I’m wondering if maybe you don’t miss me too.”

“I don’t remember why we stayed.”

“I guess some people try to raise the dead, some people try to live instead.”

“I know it’s not like you miss my laughter.”

“Can you save me from today’s night terror?”

“I can’t shake this ache I carry.”

“I just wish that you were here.”

“Enough is enough now.”

“I’m sick of wondering what do I do?”

“I just wish you were here now.”

“What’s a little bit of hopeless holding?”

“Who we are in the end’s what matters.”

“I’m trying not to fall but there ain’t no stopping it.”

“Just can’t help but see your face, it’s everywhere I turn.”

“I can’t get myself together.”

“I’ve been running for forever from your ghost.”

“My haunted heart is uneasy.”

“I saw you in black and white, bathed in the city light.”

“Got a torch I’ve been carrying.”

“Can we forgive and forget?”

“You can burn to bright to see.”

“It’s funny what you find when you go without.”

“Thirst got the best of us, hurt took the rest of us.”

“Tell me, what does it mean if we could never leave it?”

“You’ve changed but it’s not enough.”

“Doubt is insidious, creeps up on you softly.”

“I’ve been somewhere like this before.”

“It was easier back then.”

“I’ve been loving you too long to just suddenly move on from this.”

“I knew you when.”

“Forever’s not enough.”

“I thought time was supposed to heal it, don’t do shit but keep you feeling older.”

“Is this a new beginning or the start of another end?”

“You know you don’t deserve this.”

“I don’t know how to work this.”

“I would love you if I could.”

“My unsteady heart’s not ready and you would only get what’s left of me.”

“This is gonna be the death of me.”

“I would give you anything if I had anything to give left.”

“I don’t wanna walk away, but it’s not fair to let you stay.”

“I roam these halls, I search the night, in hopes that I may see a remnant trace, a glimpse of you.”

“I know my love can be the killing kind.”

“What if I was wrong by never moving on?”

“I should have known it was me all along.”

“You should never be here.”

“You still haunt the corner of my heart.”

“Don’t you hear me?”

“If madness overtakes us both, then nobody would be alone.”

“We could be together here.”

“If this is it, why don’t we just savor it?”

“Stay.”

[notmorbid]

...best american short stories.

dialogue prompts from 100 years of the best american short stories, edited by lorrie moore and heidi pitlor.

death-bed promises should be broken as lightly as they are seriously made.

the dead have no right to lay their clammy fingers upon the living.

if you're going to snore, go to bed!

you look as if you'd seen a ghost or found a gold mine. i don't know which.

i don't expect to marry anybody.

don't ever bet on anything.

i didn’t realize it, but the days came along one after another, and then two years were gone, and everything was gone, and i was gone.

we've suffered like everybody, but on the whole it's a good deal pleasanter.

we were a sort of royalty, almost infallible, with a sort of magic around us.

i should think you'd have had enough of bars.

don't you want a cocktail before dinner?

i want to get to know you.

i don't really need much taking care of anymore.

i don't want you to forget.

have you got a picture of ___?

family quarrels are bitter things. they don't go according to rules.

i was caught in a trap. it wasn't set for me, but it got me all the same.

you wanted a story, so i gave you a good one.

write me a letter. don't forget. i'll be waiting.

my dreams never renege on me. they're all i have to go by.

i don't put the respect on dreams i once did.

are you sure nobody knows where i am?

i don't see why you should ever be afraid of anything.

you know i'd take care of you if anything ever happened, don't you?

don't go away. stay and talk.

you don't have to worry, you know. i wouldn't ever let anything happen to you.

i wish you wouldn't look so unhappy.

i didn't think you saw me. not at first.

how can you get away from anything here?

we're all human on earth.

we couldn't get away from each other if we tried.

i don't want to do a thing from now on till evermore.

sometimes there are about fifteen or twenty minutes in the week when i feel like myself.

i thought it might make you happy. i wanted to make you happy.

and what if they can hear us? who cares?

i thought you were too smart to get hung.

i swear if i'd known what i was doing i would have never hurt you so.

maybe it does some good if you believe it.

i hope you'll remember the things i tried to teach you.

honey, there's a lot that you don't know. but you are going to find it out.

don't you forget what i told you, you hear?

i think people ought to do what they want to do. what else are they alive for?

i can't forget where i've been, and what i've been.

i can't really talk about it. not to you, not to anybody.

don't be a martyr.

with the world in the mess it's in, it's a wonder we can enjoy anything.

if you know who you are, you can go anywhere.

buck up. it won't kill you.

i wish you'd talk to me.

don't you ever want to rest?

i think death is a wonderful thing. i look forward to it.

what tone? i didn't take any tone.

you give everyone too much. that's your trouble.

mad at me, huh?

i don't know why i did it. i'm sorry for it, isn't that enough?

god listened and didn't say yes or no.

you should have gone after them with an ax.

you've been lucky. you always have been.

i bet you're afraid of me.

why aren't you married? you're not ugly. are you gay or something?

how nice. you always try to say the right thing.

you can't seem to keep your mind on one thing for more than a minute at a time.

it's not exactly the kind of thing you can bring up over lunch.

can you keep a secret about what i did today?

i thought when i left, it would just go away.

i want more days like that.

you don't have a heart. there's nothing to love in you.

would you tell me something if i asked you? would you tell me the truth?

other people's dreams are boring.

two salaries and no kids, that's the way to go.

i always seem to miss you.

i don't think i'll ever be dead enough --- or dead long enough --- to get the taste of this life off my teeth.

your optimism always surprises me.

pick on someone your own size.

promise you won't get mad?

i could yell at you, but why waste my breath?

better late than never. i was sure i'd see you someday.

you're a regular whirling dervish.

i don't watch tv. i don't own one.

how do you connect with the rest of the world?

did you like growing up there?

i don't usually say stuff like that.

i've been getting these mixed signals from you. i can't tell if you're attracted to me or not.

you don't have to love me. i love you enough for both of us.

group sex is for teenagers.

i think our hopes are made when we are young, and we can never adjust them to the real world.

how long can you use your parents as an excuse?

a life is like a house. one has to plan carefully where all the furniture will go.

mr. grief and i went a few rounds.

if you think about fear, then you'll be afraid.

i want to be a hero, you know?

you can always trust unhappiness.

i will keep coming until you speak to me.

what brings you here after all these years?

can i hug you? i'd really like to give you a hug.

i worried about you the whole time.

i wanted to be with you all the time.

the moment you fall in love with someone, you are lost.

i had to let you make your own mistakes.