#i wish i had more questions
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oooooh my god the orthopedic doctor I just saw is soooooo dreamy lol like stereotypical doctor handsome
#and he never broke eye contact#hes married tho and im not actually interested#but he was so dreamy#lol i shpuld make my ankle worse just to see him again#IM KIDDING ID RATHER DIE THAN MAKE MY ANKLE ANY LESS USEABLE#i wish i had more questions#i also wish my hands werent so clammy when he shook them#his hands were soooo cold they felt nice against my ankle#norm.allie#id post a picture but i dont want to dox myself#although its a big city and i had to go out of my way than i usually go#and he has multiple practices......
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pursuing the unknown
( EPHEMERWEEK 2: curiosity )
#kh#kingdom hearts#khux#kingdom hearts union cross#ephemerweek2024#kh ephemer#ephemer#i need to lay down . good lord#i thought this was gonna be easier than day 3 but i forgot i had to do a background .#granted this is easily the best background ive ever done and i really like the lighting#but my god i was out of my depth LMAO#anyway on to the question: I WISH WE GOT TO SEE THE UNION LEADERS HANG OUT MORE OUGOHUGHGHG#i also wish we got to hang out more w ephemer too..... just doing friend things.........#i get why they didnt but they couldve had special events like the sewer crew did or something....... it wouldve been so cool oughgh#myart
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Why do most of your voice designs have all their faces obscured? Also, could you draw what their faces look like?
This is a fun question! The real answer is a mix between:
- when designing them I wanted the voices to have the same "do they have a beak? Is it just a flat face?" deal that The Long Quiet has
- I wanted to keep the designs halfway between "bird monster" and "humanoid" (this resulted in a lot of them landing in furry territory)
- I can't draw beak mouths so that option was out but I didn't want to draw humans
Likewise, the actual answer to "what would they look like without their masks?" is just, a flat face without a nose. Which is kinda boring even if that's simply how I treat their faces when drawing them! So instead, I interpreted your question as, what would they have looked like if I went the full human route?
Ta-daaaaa! Honestly as interesting as this challenge was, the result is too unnatural for me! Where are my boys?? Who are these guys!?!????
#i wish i had a more “lore” based answer to this question#but i did not ask myself these questions when designing them#maybe someday I'll have one!#but isnt the mystery fun?#i can give you the ACTUAL answer but “story” wise? who knows#theyre certainly not telling!#thanks for the ask! :)#my art#ask#stp#stp voices#voice of the hero#voice of the cold#voice of the contrarian#voice of the smitten#voice of the hunted#voice of the broken#voice of the opportunist#voice of the skeptic#voice of the paranoid#slay the princess#honestly im not super happy with all these human translations? but eh like i said#probably just because im so used to see them with a bunch of feathers
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the closer we get to arcanes finale the more worried i am bc so often .. if not always .. things i like end in a way that i dislike so much it ruins everything else for me
and im so worried they pull a 'this is a multiverse' thing bc then they can say every skin is somehow canon bc its all different universes you seeeeee and jayce went mad bc he lived through all of them or something, or force it to end in a way that makes the champions end up like they are in game- Vi is a shitty cop, Jinx is just heehoo craycray bc xyz etc
#ganondoodles talks#personal#arcane#sorry i cant help but be rather pessimistic#and i know with the skin universes its kinda a multiverse already but like#a multiverse and different AUs are a different thing for me#i cant imagine how they can make this all end in a satifying way with just three more episodes with so many questions still#like the thing with isha and vander only happens so jinx loses every bit of sanity she had left and Vi goes welp#time to be a shitty enforcer#and then singed takes warwick again and makes him full wolf like in game and theres no connection left anymore bc his memory is fully cooke#or some shit#i REALLY dont want to be pessimistic but uh .... it usually happens with whatever i like and it has scarred me a little#i dont even know whats up with mel either??? they did the whole black rose stuff but#thats pulling in so much lore from noxus ... HOW can they make sense of it in 3 episodes?????#unless they make it a shitty teaser for more to come or soemthing i guess??#.. in any case- whenever i tried to be optimistic and then got disappointed anyway it hit me way harder#so im just gonna go with expecting the worst i can imagine so theres hope left to be surprised in a good way#after all they did go with warwick in a way i really liked for act 2 that is ... though the end im meh about#not a fan of the weird hexcore bullcrap in general tbh#though i like victor ... he was so nice to warwick .. even though i wish he wasnt a cult leader now lmao
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Question!
Neurodivergent peeps of Tumblr, I have a question.
I know that "nonverbal" or "selectively mute" are specific terms that mean "I cannot force words out no matter how hard I try," so... is there a term for "I can speak if I have to, but right now it requires extra energy?"
Like, I'm autistic. I have times where I can speak and even hold conversations, but stringing a verbal sentence together takes effort, the same kind of effort lifting a heavy load with your body would but in your mind. I can be perfectly eloquent and verbose in text when this happens, and sometimes I'll even make some of the limited signs I know in ASL without an issue, but speaking aloud uses up all my mental RAM and I can feel the metaphorical fans of my mind-computer whirring in overdrive. X3;
It's exhausting, too. Usually if I've been verbally social for a while, that's when it kicks in.
I can understand spoken words just as well as other times when this happens, as long as I don't have to speak to reply. If I have to speak, the mental effort and stamina needed to do it tends to push details aside in an endeavor to save processing power. ^^;
I know autism is a spectrum, and I'm hoping someone might have a name for this "not QUITE nonverbal but verbal words are VERY hard right now" feeling ^^; "Partially nonverbal" or "partially selectively mute" doesn't seem quite right.
Help?
#question#neurodivergence#autism#selective mutism#nonverbal#selectively mute#neurodivergent#sometimes I pretend I've lost my voice if I need to go in public when I'm in that headspace#folks are a lot more kind toward 'I lost my voice'#than 'speaking is REALLY HARD right now'#I just want to be able to use the right words for my experience#and maybe find some help#sometimes I write letters to give like my doctor or something if I worry I'm going to go words-hard during an appointment#doctors have actually been really happy about it and kept the letters for my records#because even neurotypical folks forget things during an appointment!#writing things you want to discuss out on paper beforehand helps!#but dang#sometimes for more spontaneous situations I wish I had a text to speech device#because if I try to talk while I'm like that I sound 100x stupider than I actually am
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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let me be clear i like veilguard but it does suck that no one disapproves anymore outside of like. three choices. i want to be fighting for my life earning approval back again someone has GOT to hate my ass. i should be careful about party composition and companion reactions again. i miss tactically taking fenris out of the party before i'm nice to merrill like those were the days
#please omg can someone hate my ass . not really. but in previous games it sometimes did feel like i was earning approval back#like a. 'even when we fight i still love you. don't forget that' way . i wanted some uphill battle and dav IS super sanitised#the difference is more staggering to old players than new ones. i think dav plays rly well for someone who doesnt know the franchise#but i keep asking questions like 'should the dalish not be more worried about solas/etc' 'the crows r not this nice'#'why wouldnt isabela ask about varric' 'there should probably be more fantasy racism here'#of course these r the devs who were slandering zevran weeks before release. however its also just. man.#I AM ENJOYING THE GAME THOUGH. just wish it had a bit (a lot) more relevance and respect to what its built up in the prev games#dragon age#dav spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dav#txt#like for example i think one of my favorite small writing moments is cass asking about the inquisitor's family in dai#where she approves if you are also estranged but disapproves if you say you want to go back#because for a split second she does not just see a so called 'herald' that she's forced to work with#it's someone just like her who never got along w their family and despite herself she likes the inquisitor more for it#or it's someone who couldn't be less like her and her dislike and initial mistrust becomes more certain#it just. there's is an amount of depth lost when vg tries this hard to make rook be loved as a default
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the chunin exams arc was so interesting for how it portrayed sakura's potential and how people in her life influenced it. kakashi lying about the team-based enrollment criteria because he thinks sakura would be likely to sign up only to appease sasuke, and being genuinely surprised when she shows up anyway. naruto being completely oblivious when sakura was upset preceding the exams and also after she cut her hair in the forest of death. naruto literally dreaming about saving sakura from enemies, being the hero to her damsel-in-distress. sakura moulding herself into a perfectly feminine lady because that's what society demanded and what she thought sasuke would want. versus sasuke calling her out for focusing too much on romance instead of her skills like she should be doing. sasuke picking up that she was upset because she felt inadequate and reminding her of what she was best at -- maybe even better than him -- and never begrudging her for it. ino hacking into her mind because she was sure, not a single doubt in her mind, that sakura would know the answers to the impossible questions on the written exam. ino and sasuke both stepping in to save her during her fight with the sound nin, but only after being spurred on by the brutal beating she took. ino and sasuke getting frustrated with naruto when he commented on how her haircut looked because it made sakura trivialize her experience and offer a fake explanation about women being fickle. the flashbacks revealing to us that ino affirmed that she would one day bloom into a beautiful flower. ino and sasuke serving as a catalyst for sakura to get stronger before pt 1 and pt 2 respectively. idk do you see what i'm seeing
#haruno sakura#inosaku#sasusaku#idk considering sakura's main goal as a character....#it's just so touching they're the only ones we see who ever seemed to expect something of her. believe in her even...#and tsunade eventually ofc. really really wish we had more of that dynamic#and i dont wanna discredit naruto he did cheer her on during her fight w ino#i just think this theme of knowing and encouraging sakura's potential is not really. true of ns as it is for is and ss#which is why whenever i see those 'naruto was the only one who saw sakura's REAL self' posts a part of me shrivels up and dies#the 'real self' in question = beating him up for little to no reason#and like sure it alludes to her real personality but it's not a healthy expression of it. that's why it occurs w far less frequency in pt 2#anyway i'd need a whole other post to delve into that but let's just say it's really not an interpretation i enjoy#naruto meta
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Sometimes it's best to just sleep
Let your troubles pass, let your mind be free For the only thing you need, is being here with me
I'll keep you safe, happy, do all that you wish Remember, it's only us, though all of this
Just Peri giving Dev some well deserved sleep No other reason, Dev is simply tired, you see @cubbihue, wouldn't you agree?
And I'm sure he'll wake super happy!
#he will not‚ this is one step closer to a nightmare come true#but hey‚ pretend can be quite a fun game to play#I don't think you'll get it‚ but this scene‚ man‚ this scene#he's a good kid#I promise#he just had a question#a wish#but someone doesn't want to hear any more of this#you are happy here#don't you know?#You are safe here#it's better here#you're free#Dev is stuck#He can't escape‚ this is his place to be#or at least that's what Peri keeps telling#his mind is a mess#his dreams are a blend#he's starting to worry he won't know what's truly real in the end#dream girl is happy#oh how nice it would be to be happy like her#fop peri#dev dimmadome#fop dev#fop a new wish#fopanw#peri#pixel animation#pixel art#fop What It Takes art
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zonked out on the dog bed snoring up a storm. you come over and rub the soft spot on the top of my nose. i let out the most contented sigh
#blllllaggggh busiest doggy everyday of my life and i am exhausted#ye beware of sadposting ahead. more like just need to get thoughts out of my headposting yk. im ok just tired#friend said to me today 'youre always doing something these days jasper when do you rest?'#and i was like huh good question! i dont hahaha. damn#which is not a bad thing always. but my plate is incredibly full and i have no one to help me#im in a really good place. things are happening that ive wanted to happen for years. but i have no time to take care of me#and the ppl who are supposed to take care of me dont. and they let me down everytime i try to ask for it. which im used to#but it doesnt make it any easier. theres just not enough hours in the day and not enough energy in my little doggy body#i used to be able to push myself past the wall of exhaustion. but after my therapy program ik i just can not do that anymore#im really proud of myself. being an adult is hard. im doing everything right. but i just wish i had someone by my side to help me#anyways.#i am a very good boy#yapping#if youre reading this hi im just venting im fine. its just been a long day and i want someone to give me a head massage#jasperbarks
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Ok. I have listened to the people. I have watched the thing. It is very wholesome.
Kazu comes home. He is hopeless and tipsy. And he swings between excited and wasted.
#I am SICK of Miri’s voice ngl#I know kids are loud. And make a mess of EVERYthing. That’s why i stay away.#But for Kazurei ; I made it to the end#They are precious#Rei is so cute I love this guy#He has 0 human skill and still is effortlessly hilarious and a little cutie 👏💖#i wish we had more of their relationship bc they have sth really special#They never question their trust in each other like it never crosses their mind. They disagree almost all the time but they never part#It’s more natural than breathing. They’re always saying stuff like « it’s not fit to involve other people in our way of life »#it’s not even an option to live apart. They clearly will spend all their lives together#Except that scene it’s so weird when Kazu says « hum with Miri gone we don’t have a reason to live together anymore » lol man#Not as if you guys were already joined at the hip before meeting her. But I get the «the family life changed us now sth’s missing#and it feels incomplete ». But still guys. You are soul mates.#Also the « of course he comes with me. He’s my partner. » line 💕💍#even if at some point they meant to part ways ; really they can’t be separated.#kazurei#No homo daddies#Buddy daddies#kazuki x rei#Domestic gays
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brain is still so scrambled from watching The Legend of Ruby Sunday and Empire of Death in cinemas yesterday but...all i can say is. that felt too easy. far too easy. are we willing to bet that Ruby's story is not entirely over, and when she returns in the next season we will be unearthing that? or am i coping?
#i think the fascinating thing is. in cinemas we got a special message from Millie Gibson thanking us for being there#and how the episode would answer all of our questions...but not really#i'm still holding true to my theory that Mrs Flood is a Legion who is the embodiment of Story and she is influencing the narrative#but because it's television i can't tell if it was intentionally wrapped up so neatly#because if so...i'd be really really disappointed#we still don't know why it snowed. we don't really know why Ruby's mother couldn't be observed by a GOD#Mrs Flood's cheesy wrap-up speech and her wearing both one of Clara's prev. outfits AND one of Romana's has me side-eyeing#but. ahhhh i had fun either way. Fifteen was glorious as was Ruby#Mel is such an angel and i was weeping seeing her hold onto Sixie's coat and Seven's jumper#i WISH we'd gotten more of Sutekh but i think that had to be sacrificed for it being such a short season#just. rattling the bars of my cage right now#doctor who spoilers#doctor who#empire of death#the legend of ruby sunday#fifteenth doctor#15th doctor#the doctor#ruby sunday#mel bush#sutekh#mrs flood#ncuti gatwa#millie gibson#bonnie langford#gabriel woolf#anita dobson#starleskatalks
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rdj the (whitewashed) electric boogaloo
This is a reminder to everyone who's excited about RDJ's casting as Doctor Doom that this casting is whitewashing. Victor Von Doom is a Romani character and has been a Romani character since his introduction in the 1960s. (Fantastic Four Annual #2 [1964]) Not only that, but his Roma identity and the persecution he and his family faced due to it is integral to his character, it is what forms his identity. (Books of Doom by Ed Brubaker) Even if on the off chance this casting is meant to not be Victor but instead be some variant of Tony or whomever else becoming Doctor Doom, it is damaging to the character to rob him of that important cultural background. Doctor Doom does not exist without that history. Fans have been pushing hard to cast Doom as a Romani actor for years, especially since the MCU has whitewashed other Romani characters. (Wanda, Pietro, etc) This casting is not a celebration moment, it's fucking heartbreaking that the MCU repeatedly ignores the important and nuanced cultural backstories of characters.
I know I can't change anybody's mind on whether or not you want to be excited about RDJ's return to the MCU. But I do think at the very least you should be mad that the MCU is baiting us all and destroying nuanced and interesting characters for the sake of self-referential easter eggs and nostalgia bait. Because that's what it is. Feel how you'd like to feel about RDJ's return, but personally, this is soul-sucking. I had such a deep love for the MCU as a teenager, it was obviously something incredibly formative to me, especially Tony Stark. This isn't recreating what I fell in love with the MCU for. This is turning a well-planned and artistic storyline of adaptations into cheap cash grabs and fan service. Because, I think we're past the point of being able to call the MCU an adaptation of anything. They can use existing characters' names and powers, but to say they're being properly adapted is laughable.
This is not an adaptation of Doctor Doom. This is RDJ the Electric Boogaloo because Marvel's fear of losing the interest of dedicated MCU fans overrides their willingness to tell stories that are genuine to the characters. I don't know what there is to be excited about that. The MCU has lost its authenticity and aside from a few projects, feels heartless. Every movie is a copy of a copy. This announcement isn't something celebratory, it feels like a death knell of a cinematic universe that's so desperate to cling to relevancy it's resorting to nostalgia for a character/actor who hasn't even been dead for a decade. We're not getting anything new, we're just rinsing and repeating the same song and dance.
I get it. I love Tony Stark, his death destroyed me and I to this day, rue the ending he got in Endgame. It misunderstood his arc and it robbed him of a satisfying conclusion. But the solution to that isn't dragging the corpse out of the grave five years later to whitewash an existing character with rich and interesting nuance, just to forcibly tie his existence in the MCU to Tony. Whether he is a variant or not. Why would you want someone else's fave's legacy to be destroyed simply so your fave's legacy can go on? Hell, if we were really all so hellbent on the return of RDJ and/or Tony to the MCU, we have the multiverse for a reason. There were other ways to do it that didn't whitewash and ruin someone else. This just. Isn't something to be happy about.
#... we will not be addressing that i'm a dead blog#no one say a WORD about my inactivity for 4 years this isn't about that /lh#also if anyone tries to get smart about “romani isn't a race” i don't care and you can shut up.#it's an ethnic and cultural identity. and it should be portrayed correctly.#ESPECIALLY for a character like *victor von doom* of all people. like it is fundamental to him.#i would've included panels of the comics mentioned but most of them use the g-slur and i don't wish to encourage that here#like listen i don't think you need to be a comics fan to be an mcu fan. they're so divorced from each other atp#nor do i think the mcu owes complete comic accuracy. but i do think you should at *least* care when characters are whitewashed.#look. i really don't want this to be a debate on if rdj's return is good or not#i've been frankly baffled at how many old mutuals are excited but. whatever if you want him back i get it.#but it shouldn't be like this. not at the expense of a different character.#this whole thing made me realize i'm *far* more jaded and turned off to the mcu than most of you guys are.#which is fair you can still be an mcu fan. if it brings you joy i'm so happy for you#but how does this like. bring joy i don't get it.#this is soulless. it's uninspired. it's done purely for shock value.#i occasionally get asks to this blog about why i left and asking me to come back#and i get it. i *want* to come back.#but i don't *care* about the mcu anymore. this is not the franchise i fell in love with.#i don't recognize what once meant everything to me.#winteriron will always hold a special place in my heart (as will tony stark)#but like. i just don't have love for it. and it sucks that this bullshit from marvel actively kills the love i had.#this sours tony stark to me. i'm sorry but it does. because was it really worth this? is this what his legacy has become?#this does cheapen his legacy btw. like without question. it turns him into a cheap cameo reference. heart of the mcu my ass.#my fandom circles have *massively* changed#i'm now entirely surrounded by comics fans bc my primary fandom is dc comics. that's what i'm up to these days#and the difference was actually baffling to me. everyone i follow now is *pissed* about this. comics twitter is so mad.#and then i see ppl on here excited and i'm just genuinely surprised this is something you want. i don't get it.#i don't say that to be rude. i just don't get it. how is *this* actually something people *want*.#do i still care about marvel? eh.#i like winter soldier comics and i could give a comprehensive rec list. and i read some other characters i deeply enjoy.
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so i've seen a lot of (really good/thoughtful) critique about how the lords of fortune not stealing from everybody indiscriminately is weird and kind of sanitized and doesn't really make sense in-world, and i see you all, totally agree and think you have very good points but also
i kinda saw them having a Qunari History Artifact Specialist on staff as specifically an Isabela thing as in "last time i stole a random cultural object b/c it was shiny it was a huge pain in the ass actually and i'd like to not do that ever again"
like kind of an in joke with izzy/da2 meta nod more than anything (which fair, doesn't make sense canonically and is jarring in world but i really think it's just there as an isabela joke and not meant to be anything more. i know there's party banter with taash that tries to justify it more which i agree is extra silly-like they're pirates, they should do morally grey pirate things and it's not as fun if they're not a little morally questionable. but i like the idea that isabela specifically is like "okay we should maybe double check if anyone is going to care about this object and follow us through hell and high water just to get it back. there's no way im going to befriend a disaster bisexual willing to fight for me twice")
#veilguard#veilguard spoilers#lords of fortune#isabela#dragon age 2#dragon age musings#i do wish they'd let the factions be more morally questionable#like the only ones who are obviously hinky are the wardens#but the wardens are perpetually suspect doing questionable shit from DAO#they're actually a little sanitized here too? idk i do agree with that take#tbf you couldn't really be that morally questionable in dai either so it's been a trend#would have been neat to have the factions be more meaningful the way they sort of are in origins#i also wish your start was different depending on the faction#like you start with different companions depending#also maybe if you had to choose between several cities and not just treviso vs minratheous#q#da2#datv#datv spoilers
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In my opinion, the reason the reunion scene was skipped was because the author couldn’t figure out a way to write it non-romantically and gave up after a while
honestly. i kinda agree with you nonnie.
it just. the set up to the scene is sooooo romantic. you have lloyd being absolutely devastated at the thought he's not going to see any of his loved ones ever again and that he's been dropped back into his terrible life, to the place he admitted he'd rather die than go back to,,, and then someone knocks at the door and when he opens it this is the sight that greets him:
his best friend, the person he's closest to, the one he's spent years with, the one he promised a peaceful life at his side, the one he wanted to grow old with, the one he sacrificed everything for, the one he effectively gave his life to save, the one he thought he'd never see again, standing at his door, having crossed literal dimensional barriers to get to him, a soft and teary smile on his face as he tells him "i missed you"
like. c'mon.
i'm all for platonic interpretations, i'm aroace, i love me a good best friendship as much as the next guy, but,,,, isn't this,,, like,,, really fucking romantic??? extremely so??? am i??? reading too much into it?? because it feels really, really romantic to me.
and like you say. where do you go from there. what response could lloyd give that doesn't involve throwing himself at javier and clinging to him with all of his strength. what conversation could these two have that doesn't involve them seeing how truly devoted they are to each other. what resolution does their arc together have that isn't them spending the rest of their lives together, at each other's side, like they so dearly wanted to.
but. alas. that wasn't the story bk moon wanted to tell. and that's very much his right. i just think that if he didn't want me to assume there's no in-character and narratively satisfying version of that conversation that doesn't end with them kissing he should've at least tried to give us something. and not completely skipped it lol
but that's just my opinion too :]
#hey i got an ask#Anonymous#tged#the greatest estate developer#tged spoilers#lloyd frontera#javier asrahan#llojavi#ch 401#and like. god. this really was his favorite scene to write uh.#i just. i don't get it. what was going through his head. what was he thinking. what was the point of all of This.#i just need ten minutes locked in a room with him. preferably with a translator but i am willing to compromise. just gimme ten minutes.#i can make him spill the soup i know this#fuck if i think too long about how this is the. second last chapter we get. before we officially end the novel with the two of them sharing#a relieved smile at the fact they can finally live their lives together without worries. i do go a little crazy.#this would probably be a hot take if there were enough opinions about tged for it to be considered spicy in the first place. but. i don't#love the extra chapters. the one with javier making a wish to a shooting star is acceptable tho it does create more questions than answers.#but the others are. meh. i would've much preferred if tged had ended in ch 401 with an open ending. maybe ch 402 if only because i did want#to see lloyd interact with arcos and marbella as suho. but there would be no last minute shoehorned wedding in my ideal ending.#i just!! i don't like forced romance!!!! i don't like compulsory amato/heteronormativity!!!!!!#i want my fictional relationships to have proper build up and chemistry and to be narratively satisfying!!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!#i'm good. i'm okay. this is fine. we're all fine.#anyway. yeah
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Someone: What's your sexuality?
Me: well you see, I never had a serious crush on anyone. Also, I had trouble understanding what a crush even was for most of my life. Also, I identified as aroallo for a while because I thought I was aro but not ace, but now I think I'm ace too. Also, fictional crushes. Also, I enjoy learning and reading/sometimes even writing about kink but have no idea if I would be comfortable actually participating on it. Also, some days I'm perfectly happy like this but other days are still confusing and shitty because it's all still new to me. Also-
#aromanitc#asexual#aro#ace#aro ace#im what experts call a very complex individual#by “complex” i actually mean confused and weird#but whatever#im still awesome#so are other people with complicated relationships to their sexuality!#or gender!#or anything really#you're not “difficult”#or “too many things/labels”#or anything queerphobes might have told you#especially if you're young and just started questioning#it's okay#(im literally just saying things I wish more people had told me)#FUCK I MISPELLED AROMANTIC#aromantic#there we go
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