#i wish i had a better job
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Wish my dysphoria wasn't constantly making me wish I was dead but here I am
#stupid sad rambling#i wish my hrt worked#i wish i had a better job#i wish didnt have to live on this stupid awful cruel planet in this stupid awful and disgusting body
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brain rotting about how fucked it is to be a darkner again lately. how do you care about being abandoned by your gods if they never seemed to care that much about you in the first place
#my art#deltarune#rouxls kaard#utdr#this isn’t really what i had in mind when i tried first making this and im still really unsatisfied with how it looks but i need to just#stop and decide when something’s finished haha. i really wish it looked better but im not sure how to begin fixing it so it is what it is#also sorry that im trying to make genuine things with the blue thing. i know its stupid to try making something serious with him 😅#ah edit to the tags also to clarify this is in part based off of a hc i have that rouxls was the tutorial guy before the puzzles were.#rather useless job when there isn’t anyone who needs that guide
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got silly with this one ◡̈
#torchwood#torchwood fanart#captain jack harkness#ianto jones#gwen cooper#toshiko sato#owen harper#andy davidson#captain john hart#janto#towen#pls click and zoom in for better quality !#HELLO!! everyone who’s been leaving lovely things in the notes of my torchwood drawings I want u to know I love all of u sm!!!#really makes me smile to see people enjoying my silly drawings !!! shoutout to the person who said the way I draw Ianto is like shortbread#fellow torchwood mystery gang truthers this one’s for you#ALSO HELLO !! WELSH PEOPLE !!! ARE YOU YHERE !!! !!!! THIS ONES FOR YOU !!!#has anyone else had the specific childhood trauma of being forced into itchy ass welsh traditional dress pls say my target audience is here#this was actually a way of resolving those memories of having to wear that hat ! the boys just got to wear rugby shirts :(#DO WE THINK IANTO OR GWEN HAD TO DO URDD EISTEDDFOD !! I do !! this is my personal hc just for me bc I think it’s funny#bonus doctor who s1 for u all :D#can u guys tell I’ve just spent the past 2 months job hunting post uni from the gwen drawing :| wish I could get a job for being nosey&gay#myfawny’s tie says ‘l <3 BBQ’ btw if you couldn’t make it out >:)#pls enjoy mewing John hart 👍
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the reason why Luo Binghe and Shen Yuan can't attic wife each other in their house and never leave is that they don't have internet or anything else around to help keep them moving. I think we chalk too much of Shen Qingqiu being a super productive person post transmigration often too much to reading into things and treating his unreliable narration as fact.
But like, what is he supposed to do all if not actually go outside and talk to people and get a job. Luo Binghe needs to do things other than be a housewife for his own sanity so he doesn't cabin fever. He can't live focusing his day around a singular person being in the room its not healthy and would drive him insane. These are not overly productive constantly doing things people. These are people doing things to make sure they aren't malaise slugs feeling nothing in their day to day drudgery.
This is just what a healthy post/pre internet mental state kinda looks like.
#svsss#svsss shitpost#scumbag system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#bingqiu#i don't go into servers anymore or use anything but tumblr for a few hrs a day#the difference is astounding#scum villain self saving system#protagonist in isekai's don't leap to being better productive people just because they were actually always good and better than other#its because the internet is no longer sitting as a filter you can use#when you have to actually live in the real world and talk to people you have to learn to change how you approach conversation and free time#rich people in the real world aren't constantly going out to get jobs just to make daddy proud its also because they want something to do#humans are not meant to sit around doing nothing#part of the reason i think luo binghe had such an obviously bad time in the return to childhood special is he had nothing to do for months#he has no desire to play with kids#was too short to do a lot of his chores#couldn't socialize as an adult#and even his own boyfriend was too bored staying inside all the time#i don't doubt the man was dying inside wishing to turn back to normal simply because he had nothing to do
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Back by popular demand, more of the girls. With pets this time!
Look me in the eyes and tell me they would have normal ones. Or that Tech OR Phee would think twice about it lol
#lo rambles#i promised i'd get better about posting and not just sharing with friends privately#the feedback has been so heartwarming every time though#so it shouldnt be hard ^^#wish i had more time to make more or improve quicker#but alas. i have a day job#it is what it is#star wars#the bad batch#fanart#phee genoa#tech bad batch#techphee#tech x phee#oc helena genoa#oc djoura genoa
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nice spongebob impression 🎀
#class of 09#jecka class of 09#jecka co09#co09#class of 09 art#class of 09 the flipside#co09 the flipside#the game was pretty different from the past two games…#i guess switching POVs from nicole who is famously apathetic to jecka who acts like an actual human being really does a number on the plot#horrible things happened but somehow they felt more genuinely vile and revolting than the things that happened previously#the foot thing was kinda weird but like…watching nicole kill jeffrey was the best part of the game for me LMAOAOAO#i wish we got a route where we got to know karen better though#jecka and her canonically used to be friends…#and for the love of god why was like half the dialogue just feet worship that was gross#we could have had jeckas thoughts or character development or like more dialogue with nicole (??) but instead we get mommy fetishes.#oh i loved the dialogue when jecka was crashing out with her hot topic job tho#girl really wasn’t taking anything serious SOB#nicole co09#jeckole
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HBD Dice <3 <3 <3
#hypmic#hypnosis mic#dice arisugawa#i have never loved a character this much he's so. i need him to be real and my bestie idc how pathetic that makes me#i wanted to draw something way bigger and better for him but all my plans to draw got absolutely fucked the past couple weeks#so this was a bit of a rush job and i feel bad :( but i'm not totally unhappy with it so i guess it's fine and at least i made it in time#wish i had more time to spend on colors and rendering + wish i got to finish this on my pc and not my old ass laptop with a bad screen#well whatever. it's not like i don't have plans to draw more of him once i have the time and whatnot#anyways HAPPY BIRTHDAY KING!!! ilysm forever <3#7-7-cherry drawingz
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im still pissed abt Viktor being told "nooooo don't try to cure your terminal illness!!! dont try to fix your leg!!! you're beautiful because of it"
there was a way to write this that didn't feel gross. this was not that way. with more time; with him actually overstepping bounds and pushing on in spite of it instead of immediately becoming suicidal; with this desire to "fix himself" shown more to be because of external pressure instead of a desire to stop his escalating pain and impending death, i could have found this to not feel awful. but it does.
maybe just pointing out his leg as an example could have worked. especially if it was more heavily demonstrated that his desire to walk without mobility aids was rooted in insecurity (perhaps he proudly shows off to people that he can now walk "normally")
but using his terminal illness as an example is just gross. just "be happy you're going to die young because its part of what makes you who you are" GIRL WHAT???
especially when his terminal illness is rooted in systemic issues... eh. feels bad man.
#arcane#arcane critical#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#viktor arcane#i actually think Wolf 359 episode 42 Memoria does a much better version of this sort of speech#maybe i could write a short essay on that but im not sure anyone would find it interesting except me myself and i#might do it anyway#but anyways if someone ever told me “noooo dont wish you could find a solution for your back pain. its part of what makes you who you are”#i would throttle them#yes. it has been a part of what has shaped me into who i am that i was prevented from participating in most physical activities as a child#and i was never able to work a job as a teen#and i rarely go out shop with my friends#and i cant go to standing events more than *maybe* once a month (though even that is generous)#and i grew up with an inferiority complex because i thought everyone had back pain all the time and i was just weaker than everyone else#but do you REALLY think i dont want to be rid of it??? do you REALLY think my quality of life wouldn't be improved by having those experien
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it's been raining nonstop in brindleton bay...
#kinda obsessed w/ brindleton rn i wish more of the worlds were as nicely detailed#ts4 scenery#sims 4#s4mm#simblr#s#alsoo i made another new hosuehold and this one is a single-ish mom w/ a frat boy bd its so fun and super challenging bc-#homegirl has 2 jobs is in college and has an infant like!! IM stressed#i rlly wish i had a better computer so i could do lets plays i feel like thatd be so fun just having a slice of life kind of series where-#i play diff households each time in the same save like rotationally <333 one day#first tag rambling of the year everyone!! mark ur calendars
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Relief.
#mobile suit gundam#mobile suit gundam the witch from mercury#gundam witch#gwitch#sulemio#suletta mercury#miorine rembran#the last few episodes were messy as fuck ngl#but hey at least sulemio are canon married#just wish the series had done a better job of establishing its stakes near the end#like they never really even explained what was so bad about quiet zero#or what it would do in general#the giant space laser was just pointless and ultimately affected nothing#i kind of expected spirits in the data storm also#but would have liked to have seen notrette more than el4n#anyway here’s my ramble in the tags#overall good show just wish the end hadnt been so messy#soda art
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god almighty (non-religious), i wish i wasn't low empathy. it sucks so much when a friend is not okay but you can't find the right script for how to handle that right now and you can't make yourself care as much as you feel you should. maybe if i was less tired and generally depressed myself, or if there was an active problem that could be solved, then i could actually figure out what to say. i can listen to venting fine, but i'm not about to promp it or anything because i don't really know if it's prying or prompting sometimes.
like, darling, i don't mean to just not answer you but you're clearly in a bad mood and not lending yourself to a normal conversation structure because of it, and i don't know what to say so i'm not saying a damn thing. sorry you aren't doing well, i wish you were and stuff, but i also don't naturally have the pieces that make me able to respond to that shit so i've elected to simply not.
#npd#actually npd#autism#actually autistic#low empathy#hes done a shitty job at responding to me objectively not doing well too#so im not sweating being a shitty friend#i wish i could do better but he should understand not knowing how to respond#otherwise hes a hypocrite#because hes watched me cry and have a panic attack at work and literally say “if i cant step away soon i will fucking walk out” thru tears#and his response was “lol alright” and not taking my spot or anything to get me a smoke break#when i was specifically telling him that i needed to step away for a minute#so his responses arent top notch or anything either#itd be cool if i had the energy to figure out a proper response#i want to be a good friend#id do anything for him if directly asked but im bad at guessing at how to help/care about people unfortunately#so theres that
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prophecy
#choujin x#art#dump#very good job#i wish i had done sora's wings better but otherwise i love this#good execution
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Matched my cardigan with my little baby belle ✨
Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me
#Very much wish I had taken a proper pic of my makeup bc wow I was proud of that#Also the lingerie underneath was so pretty but I forgot to take pics of that as well.#Shall be me job for later today now.#I'm on the wait list for a few new corsets that should fit better but I'm not expecting them for a few weeks still#I've been waiting a month already but I'm always happy to wait for nice things like that#Means I get to spread the cost out over that time as well. So that helps me out 😂😂#bi girl#cheeky#uk girl#wlw#satans knitwear#alt pinup#pinup girl#my gif to you
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my twt moots is stolas defender and viviziepop apologist keep hating on wish saying how it bad as movie like....as if she was fawning over show whom literally had terrible writing and yeah wish is wasn't that good especially atleast it wasn't created by problematic creator but it was that bad show like helluva boss and she had audacity that wish is worse despite she literally stanning helluva boss whom had inconsistent writing and oh god....stolizt arcs is very terrible writing an often babying stolas on narrative, she can be hypocrites whether she liked and sometimes i hated how she keep shitting on my faves movie while she literally liked helluva boss whom terrible show with terrible message if im had honest and me be like :
#anti stolitz#anti stolas#anti helluva boss#helluva boss criticism#anti vivziepop#vivzipop critical#i know that she was minor and she didn't know better but damn!? she is literally easily get influenced by that toxic helluva boss fandom#wish movie#wish movie deserves better#vent post#anti vivziepop rants#if i had honest that inside job and bojack horseman is way more better adult show than helluva boss ever be
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the other day i walked around the golden lake w my love and the sun was setting hot and orange and we watched a brown duck preening through the weeds, ducking her head under the dark water. the cool lake swallowed up my tired feet to the ankles and we counted the dog walkers with their curly panting doodles and their handsome german shepherds and their whip smart little terriers and we admired the careful construction of a sand castle whose moat held determinedly against the lapping of the waves. we could feel in our chests the persistent thunderous thumping of celebratory music at the finish line of the lakeside 5k, welcoming each gasping runner across its bounds. and i felt like crying. i felt like curling into myself and crying. we walked through the swamp of the bird sanctuary afterwards and listened to the woods sing and croak and groan and then we went and got ube and yuzu gelato and devoured it suntired and sweating on the couch in our living room. and i was so overcome w a deep and true unshakeable happiness and a sort of confused grief that i wanted to sob and sob and sob.
#i am so happy for the first time in my entire life#a consistent and true joyfulness#i am in love w my life#i want to stick around to see it#and i mean that w my entire being for the first time in my whole life#and to say that means confronting the first 24 years of my life where that wasn’t true#where i was miserable and heartbroken and unkind and dishonest and cruel#and i didn’t want to be alive#even when i was doing well i still didn’t want to be alive#for 24 years.#i had no fucking idea being alive could be so easy. i had no idea.#i want to hold myself and tell them i want to wrap myself up and say it will be BETTER#it will be so so far from perfect but it will be so so good you just have to hold on#i am so happy but i am mourning#i don’t know how to articulate it at all i just feel#happy but grieving#i LOVE this new city we live in i LOVE it here#i like my job enough to stand it for enough hours a week to get by#i have the time and the energy to throw myself into hobbies like knitting and cooking#i watch one or two good movies a week#i eat delicious food i’ve made and from restaurants we want to try#i’m IN LOVE. with my girlfriend in a way that’s so overwhelming and unlike anything i’ve ever felt that words don’t do it justice#i have friends who are gentle and patient with me when it’s hard for me to reach out#i am fighting agoraphobia tooth and fucking nail and i’m seeing the world and experiencing it#i laugh every day!!!! every single day!!!!#i have a goofy wonderful dog and an incredibly sweet cat#i talk to my baby brother all the time and he tells me he loves me and he’s graduating college soon and i’m so fucking proud#i wish i would’ve known how good it would all become#i wish i could’ve known#personal
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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