#i wasn't expecting that one to do well
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i think. everyone should stop reading my most popular fics that aren't really that good and start reading the ones with 18 kudos that are significantly better
#this is about (just wanna be) somebody i'm proud of#yes i had fun writing it. but it's REALLY NOT THAT GOOD#also i cannot stress this enough: that fic was a fluke#it's NOT a good example of what i write. guys i'm so much better at the angsty character study fics#i promise i actually can get proper characterization. i had to sacrifice some of that for the light-hearted stupid cheesy premise#alas#no one in fandom actually cares about characterization#ngl sometimes i even wonder what the point of writing stuff in-character is if the flat#'characters reduced to a single trait that they may or may not even possess'#fics will ALWAYS end up being more popular than the ones with good characterization#anyway i know why the 18 kudos one is so low. it's the mcd tag. AND it's a gen fic centered around a character no one cares about#i wasn't expecting that one to do well#but it does suck that like. my most popular fics will never actually be my best ones#it's the same with bsd but THAT'S a whole other story#that's the phenomenon of everyone reducing bsd to the skk show and not giving the time of day to fics centered around anyone else#do u guys realize there are SO many other INCREDIBLE characters and dynamics????#like i was doing that bsd fic rec event on twt and almost all of the fics recced were skk#meanwhile i was searching for anything NOT skk bc idk other ships and characters deserve appreciation too??#and i don't even read much skk bc it's so hard to find anything that's. like. ACTUALLY good.#anyway. i don't actually care if you read somebody i'm proud of#but i hate that that's like. one of my most popular fics by a longshot#i have stuff that is so much better that people won't even glance at bc it's not tagged with the most popular m/m ship in the fandom#hello grace here
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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what's the threshold theory
There was a post about how Tom is the only crew member who isn't really affected by the Borg, and there's a theory that he has so much luck because he saw the past and the future when he crossed the transwarp threshold. He saw the past and the future, all of time and space. There's some subconscious part of him that remembers that experience. In fact, Tom refused to play a part in Chakotay indulging Annorax's temporal incursions, probably because a part of him knew nothing good could come of it.
If we extend that same theory to Janeway, some of her wild luck with time travel and other crack plans starts to make sense. She doesn't verbally hate time travel until after the events of Threshold, since it happens in Time and Again without complaint. Janeway has an uncanny knack for time travel, as evidenced every time she deals with it. She hates time travel, but it might be because part of her knows exactly how to manipulate the timeline. She manages to avoid the "inevitable" temporal explosion in Future's End, saving both Voyager and Braxton. She resets the entire timeline in Year of Hell, and no one else followed her reasoning. She pulled it off flawlessly. In Relativity, she senses the incidents are all related, despite it being just one reading that connects them. By the time she's involved, she has a temporal incursion factor of .0036 and a time travel protocol named after her, even if that may just be Braxton's personal grudge. Then there's Endgame, where she intentionally changes the timeline. Up until this point, she has been dragged into time travel, but for the first time, she jumps in on purpose. How does Admiral Janeway know how to get them home sooner in a way that completely avoids the Temporal Integrity Commission? It's because she has seen all of time, and part of her knows exactly what needs to happen so she can get Voyager home and do it in a way that becomes baked into the prime timeline. Maybe she doesn't consciously remember what happened during her transformation, but the experience lives in her mind somewhere, guiding her decisions.
#every day is threshold day#tldr threshold cemented the time travel shenanigans#we're not counting her disparagement of time travel in relativity i know it's technically before threshold#but they've messed with the timeline so much that her past timeline is also changed.#Time travel is funny because the past is the future the future is the past#so while relativity comes before threshold in the prime timeline her timeline has also been changed in a way that it wasn't before threshol#we could chalk it up to a writing oversight but this is more interesting#not to mention her uncanny luck with the Borg which I think ties in as well#it's part of why her instinct is so strong#also the bio neural gel packs but that's a different theory#listen she's amazing with or without having seen all of time and space but she has seen all of time and that must have affected her somehow#those little salamander babies also have all of the cosmos in their mind#tried to explain as concisely as possible but it is part of my overarching theory#she doesn't second guess herself nearly as much following their jaunt into transwarp#I have more but I'm trying to be brief cause it's written up partially in my drafts somewhere and i have some things i need to do today lol#meta#Star Trek voyager#Kathryn janeway#threshold day#did you expect me thresholdbb to not have a serious threshold theory?#listen I can make anything nonsense and turn anything into a serious theory I was known for this kinda bs in grad school#I wrote a 25 page paper on NOTHING once#I wrote a paper about how corn fields were super gay and it made my professor cry I can spin the bullshit it is one of my skills
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Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet
Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)
Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked
#these just sum up my personal takes at the years in question and also what i'm seeing on tumblr/other social media#bbc sherlock#sherlock holmes#and i actually have a lot more thoughts to share on this series#specifically relating to the cultural impact#there is SO much about the show that goes unappreciated in hindsight because of how public perception of it has soured#and i totally fell into this as well--i still regularly rewatch hbomberguy's video absolutely dismantling the series and he isn't wrong!!#but what i'm saying is that i think it's easy for us to look at a piece of media (especially one so massively popular) like sherlock...#with very black-and-white lenses. it wouldn't have become so popular if there wasn't something inherent in it that resonated with people#and that's being buried (and i totally forgot it) because 'sherlock is cringe and problematic. can't believe i liked that'#which again it IS full of issues and those are well-documented as they should be. future portrayals should not repeat those mistakes#BUT being able to impact so many people is a merit in itself. and that's only possible because of other genuinely good things about the show#yes the way they handled the relationship between john and sherlock was riddled with problems YES it was often queerbaiting#AND the way they portrayed that relationship had a deep effect on me. i saw a lot of myself in sherlock and the complex way he loved john#the nuanced feelings he had about john's marriage to mary. the part (in s4!) where john calls him inhuman for not feeling romantic love#there was genuine intention and care put into some parts of this show and it comes through in scenes like those. they impact people.#and because of this realization i'm going to (eventually) do a rewatch of the show. i'm much older and i want to see how i'll view it now#but i want to go into it--and i want everyone who engages with it still--to have an open mind and evaluate it for what it is#not what we expected it to be (secret episode anyone?) or what the cultural drift has turned it into (the tiktok of sherlock's mind palace)#but the messy problematic somewhat-heartfelt massively significant and ultimately meaningful piece of media it actually was#anyway that's my thoughts would love to hear y'all's perspectives#funny how after all this time making a sherlock post still feels like i'm poking a bees' nest lol please be kind!#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay has a party in the tags
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Off to make mischief and terrible decisions for everyone (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Papyrus#Sans#Help they keep appearing#Where have I heard that one before lol#Genuinely! I wasn't expecting to keep drawing them but my pencil kept moving and they kept showing up on my paper!#Especially Gaster but the other two plenty as well#Got to employ a bit of my favourite coloured pencil ♪ I Will find a way to use my blue on nearly anything#Luckily for me they come prepackaged with blue magic so that was easy enough#Wiggly baby Papyrus does Not want to go >:( At least he's not being hurt :(#Some smoking Gaster ♪ I still quite enjoy drawing smoke honestly - fun to get to do so with a character who actually smokes haha#You can see I also added swoopy-swoops to his Lost Soul head - I like it much better for being such a small detail#I think it looks weird in black rather than white but against a white background-#Without them he feels....hmm something. Something old that I don't want#Not like the Classic Lost Soul head tho haha - similar but not quite the same!#I love his design ahh ♪ He's really so pretty but so much of that is in his details! Like the way he wears his clothes or holds his body#I'm always a sucker for that style of turtleneck as well haha ♫#Perhaps his turtleneck keeps the smoke in chest from escaping longer :0 Yet another reason to wear them!#Shot of the little family before things went Completely terrible - before the plates and all that#I'm rather pleased with his hand pose there actually :) Keep an eye on your kids Gaster you've only got the one eye to do so!#And then some silly ones lol - I am desperately curious if animated skeletons would have a hyoid bone#It's not as though hyoid bones are specific to humans! They're just A Type Of Bone! Surely skeletons would have All their bones right?#But in the human skeleton it's not resting against another bone it's just floating there tethered by muscle and sinew#Would it float? Would it rest inside the lower jaw? Would it attach to the neck vertebrae??#It'd probably get caught on his turtleneck a lot easier than like - getting it caught on his neck bones for example#They have a kind of fused canine-teeth-like structure as well they're like a weird set of tongue-teeth lol#It's just fun to imagine ♪ Similar to how the rest of the skeletal body like - magnetizes? to itself :)
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Pokémon Masters EX spoilers ahead!
Kabu likes to play TAG with his pokemon... and he's shown to have a much softer side beneath his strictness in pokemas too... he's so grandpa-shaped to me 😭💖
#you guys have to know that today has been an eventful day for me. like... non-stop serotonin because I got one good news after another#(i celebrated my ultimate ship's day + speed-run and sacrificed sleep to post 2 fics for today's sake + successfully bought prints of said#ship with two of my bird app friends + successfully secured a birthday cafe event for a character in my city where i can meet said friends)#like. my heart was in OVERDRIVE 😭😭😭 adding kabu to the lodge has me falling off the bed from how much i giggled and rolled on it 😭😭😭#i need to replay swsh but i swear he wasn't this gentle and caring in the games 😭💗 like this scary old grandpa is actually very soft 🥺🫶#my head is spinning from thinking about how good his gym trainers' morales are with him keeping it up. or how he must be well-loved in#motostoke for not just being an encouraging gym leader but also an approachable and kind citizen. no wonder nessa and milo regularly hangs#out with kabu and that he and raihan are tor-colleagues 😭😭😭 he's actually so earnest in showing that he cares for others with each line#ossan you have to tell me which of your pokemon plays tag the best!!! and is that how you wind down after training!!! 😭💗#giving pokemas writers a big smooch on their foreheads because they're so genius for this man. yes it is a cash grab but they're doing kabu#sooo much justice too with each of his appearance... like yeah take my gems for once! you actually did a splendid job for my favorite ojisa#i don't know if i'm just still a 6 y.o girlie loving kazuhiko inoue's kakashi or i'm just itching for familial tenderness but man. he's suc#a comfort character to me now... i didn't expect that in 2024 but i'm grateful i could pull him and enjoy talks with this ossan now 🥺🫶#gym leader kabu#pokemon kabu#pokemon sword and shield#pokemon swsh#pokemon masters ex#pokemas#pmex#pokemon masters ex spoilers#pmex spoilers#pokemas spoilers#swsh#galar#pasio#trainer lodge
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so i started this show and it just gets worse and worseeeee not only did it lift the romance subplot directly from twilight (and not well) but they also are trying to play the forbidden love angle hard in the fantasy racism vein except it's a "cross-species" relationship between the two whitest people i've ever seen in my life and there are three people of color in the whole (first season of the) show who aren't villains and it seems that every other episode (and sometimes ebery episode and sometimes twice an episode!) there is a man physically or magically subjugating a woman and i keep waiting for the big reveal at the end to be stolen from fucking rainbow rowell
#yes i read 'carry on' by rainbow rowell in middle school what else could you have possibly expected from me. anyway she gives me simon snow#vibes and not in a good way and she's even blonde while her british vampire boyfriend has dark dark hair and just. you will never be basil.#also i hate to be that guy but the writing has made me physically recoil and the acting almost reads as silly but mostly as middling :/ and#i wanted and expected more from matthew goode bc i really liked him in downton but i guess this is a 2018 bbc modern vampire fantasty serie#like i guess.#also there's SO much shit about bloodlines and maybe i'm gay with a blood disorder amd a family history of adoption but like. who fucking#careeessssssssss it ahould not be that serious. why is it that serious.#also the fantasy racism kind of reads like it's mesnt to be? homophobic adjacent? like there's a Lot of 'love who you love' talk going on#for the single most bland heterosexual relationship i've ever seen on a screen like there is so little chemistry? so little#anyway it's called 'a discovery of witches' and i'd recommend not watching it 🫶 or if you do then watch it on 1.5x speed#it's been decent background noise for knitting bc i kinda sorta care about the plot but if miss a chunk bc i'm in the lace chart zone i do#not care and i do not have to go back to catch it bc the writing is so transparent#there was another series it stole from that's escaping me atm but when i noticed it pissed me off a touch. hmm maybe it will come back to m#a post#do not watch this show#I REMEMBERED they wanted the juliette holding diana captive moment to be joaquin's 'i want to watch you fuck her' from sense8 SOOOOO BAD bu#it WASN'T bc they were too afraid to lean into anything that would make juliette interesting at all. for being all about the world's most#special blonde woman this show does not seem to like women very much. sad! well there's other shows#OH ALSO ALSO there are 3 magical 'creature' species which are witch + vampire + femon except the demons don't seem? to have any magical#abilities that humans don't have besides sensing the species of other creatures? like witches can cast spells and vampires do their various#vampire things but demons have nothing going for them except disproportionately high rates of homelessness and suicide?? like girl what are#we doingggggggg what are we doing here !! what's their deal why does no one care !! can they do anything or no !! god this show sucks
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EDIT: just realized that i should clarify something. what i meant by "feel bad for nie huaisang :(" was that jiang cheng felt bad for nie huaisang after nie mingjue died, because having to assume the burden of sect leadership while still grieving was something jiang cheng understood as well.
that poll option does NOT mean "jiang cheng thinks nie mingjue is abusing nie huaisang" or whatever. i should have made that clearer and i'm only realizing now my phrasing was in fact Dogshitte. i'm sorry.
#mdzs#jiang cheng#nie mingjue#do you ever think about how. after wwx fucked off with the wens. all the other sect leaders started grilling jiang cheng#who wasn't even there when wwx threatened everyone?? he had to figure out what happened from context#judging from the narration it seems like that was the first night in a long time he was able to go to sleep on time too#instead of pulling another all-nighter. and then this shit.#and when jc tried to argue that he and wwx did owe the wen siblings a debt for saving them#nmj shut him down immediately. “their family killed your parents. where is your filial duty?” an entirely reasonable view given the setting#but also. damn. rip. jc you were a teenage leader with zero experience. no one should expect you to stand up to them. sorry dude#if i were jc that would color my perception of nmj and the rest of them for a while#also if i were jc. and i was co-raising my only nephew with my co-sibling-in-law i dont know that well#and his sworn brother flipped his shit and yeeted him down the stairs. well i would be a lot more worried about my nephew's safety#given that my nephew is spending half his time in jinlintai!!! jiggy keep chifeng-zun away from him!!!!!#who knows maybe they covered up the stairs incident. even though it happened in broad daylight.#yanyan polls#these tags ended up being kind of negative so i think ill forgo the ship tag this time
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Books of 2024: GHOST STATION by S. A. Barnes.
I've been intrigued by this one since the hardback release, but since I'm more of a paperback person I Waited™, intending to preorder said paperback.
Un/fortunately: In the course of my waiting, @asexualbookbird read it, and ey had Beef. Like. Enough Beef that I canceled my preorder and checked out a library copy instead. Library copies suck to photograph, my lighting setup for this was unhinged. So! We'll see how this goes!
#books#books of 2024#book photo#ghost station#sa barnes#asexualbookbird#my expectations are MANAGED my heavy sigh cannon is PRIMED i am READY!!!#i am bummed though i really wanted to vibe with this#and it really sounds like i will Not based in my insider intel#i'm still pressing my hand against the glass and gazing longingly at DEAD SILENCE too#but if this one is as rough as i'm braced for i'll probably just library that one as well :(#haunted house in space sounds too hard to fuck up#why would you fuck it up with gratuitous romance :(#anyway i'm fear but i'm HERE because i SUBJECTED YOU TO BWB DAMMIT EZ#doing my Best#also the last few pages are falling out of this book (???)#i'm already anxious about telling the librarians that lmao#'hi i swear it wasn't me but. pages are falling out.'#'of your new book'#'that i borrowed'
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can someone tell me why im being abnormal about a character i've barely touched the content of. like yay yippie i watched like 20 hours of you. there's fucking 80 years of content get me OUT OF HERE?
#yeah this is about nightwing. yes im a freak about him no i don't do well with comics#shout out to duke thomas in the we are robin comic i've had in my browser tabs for three weeks now#sorry king.#i mean i guess it makes sense because theres So many characters in media that you can't even get 20 hours out of . but. BUT ITS NOT FAIR.#i want to read comics so bad. i try to. i have. i've started several#blue beetle 2009 nightwing 2016... superman & batman world's finest#i was able to finish teen titans world's finest but that was only. like. six issues#comics as a medium just has this thing where. you're dropped in and it kinda expects you to know what's happening#and leaves you feeling like you started on the wrong page. like blue beetle. loved you but man that was not the greatest first comic to rea#wait i forgot i read hawkeye 2011(?) and that also had the same issue. but more so each installment like#felt like it was starting on a point AFTER something happened like i was meant to be reading another comic before i got to that issue.#i got. like. idk 18? 19? comics into that one. and 12 into nightwing. nightwing wasn't as bad but it just. gah. like several-issue long#stories carried across batman and nightwing and its like.OUGH.#i know im mutuals with a comic person. hi. i know you're cringing.#there are so many good characters to come out of comics. its just SO HARD to get into.#rn i dont have an excuse with We Are Robin. just that i've been infected with needing to play the sims for 8 hours a day.#mika-posts
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Haunted // Love Affair With A House 🏡💌
#digital art#artists on tumblr#illustrators on tumblr#original character#original illustration#sasha's art#this one took much longer than i expected it to because well. thats how things go sometimes#there was a time in my life when i was going through years of abuse and felt like i had no way out of that#this led me to become uncaring and reckless and i was very impulsive at the time#there was this big old abandoned hospital in my home town that was not that far from my parents house#by this point in life i felt like i had lost all relationships with people previously close to me and i was not making any new ones out of-#-fear but also because i was isolationg myself (unknowingly)#because i was a child i percieved exploring this building as doing something Unsafe and Dangerous (and i guess it was in the sense that-#-things could fall on me if i wasn't careful)#but anyway i decided going there was going to be my Safe Place#as abandon buildings seem to be so seductive to teenagers it turned out this place was already a popular hang out spot for many teens#so i decided my best course of action would be to sneak out of my room at night/ dawn and go do art at this place when it was safe from-#-other teens lmao#it made me feel Edgy and Cool and Dangerous (even though looking back this was one of the safest activities i was engaging in lmao)#anyways#i replaced all my close human relationships with an abandoned house at the time (maybe theres a metaphor in there somewhere but. i do not-#(-want to see it)#at the time the thing i wanted the most in the world was to die and this was the place it was supposed to happen#luckily i made a deal with myself for ten more years and this ended up saving my life#so i have many mixed emotions about this place. it was there for me when i was at my lowest and loneliest. it was supposed to be my last#a few years ago i took my two best friends there (hadn't told them this story then yet) and i had a wonderful day and felt Loved#it was a weird feeling to feel there#i decided not to take them into the house and i don't think i will ever go in again#but i am glad i had it back when i needed it i guess#i wonder if theres still any of my old art supplies hidden about somewhere
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Thinking that part of the reason why "love yourself, you are beautiful, adore yourself" falls completely flat on me is because I can't do anything with abstract instructions and it simply means nothing to me. But very funny is that I'm accidentally getting there anyway by entirely unconventional means (mind animal)
Love yourself: okay. How? What does that mean? How can I love something I have no particular feelings for? It just is. How do I have feelings on purpose? How do I make myself care? Am I supposed to pretend to have feelings I don't until it's real? I end up not doing this because it doesn't feel like an actual thing I can do
Dæmonism, apparently: okay, so imagine the other half of your mind voice, the one you bounce your inner dialogue off, as a person. Name them, find out what they're like, and now their opinions hold more weight. What do they want you to do? Would that benefit you? Is it possible that this part of you knows how to take care of you? Imagine them as a companion of your own, that is always with you wherever you go. Isn't it nice to be in your own company sometimes? You can represent them visually through an animal. There are many ways to determine what animal would fit. You see qualities of yourself in this animal, don't you think this is a creature worth of admiration, respect and love? Then why wouldn't you be? Build a relationship with this part of you, make a way of living with them, grant them kindness and feel love for them. But remember! They are you and you are them! OOPS you've been tricked into caring for yourself and holding yourself to a higher esteem!
#bien rambles#daemonism#dæmonism#I post this knowing I have a ten person audience for these personal posts at most. please do not be weird to me#anyway there are many mental practices that can help make people feel better in their own minds in many ways#this is just one that helped me in a particular way#and I wasn't expecting it. I just wanted a little mind beast. and now I do. and it's great#I never did well with abstract instructions honestly. this should come as no surprise to me
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🥀 Gloomy Nostalgia Moodboard 🥀
this was also made with pictures of my childhood!! i had a lot of darker more spooky pictures as well that didn't fit with the last board so i made this one :3
#this one's even more specific to me#like y'all weren't playing by the water tank or the evil greenhouse so i don't expect as many people to resonate with this board. yk#but i really really love this board because i feel like it represents my childhood well#it's dark and it's a little spooky and so was my childhood! i was so scared as a child#these were the darker things that comforted me and still do#bonus shoutout to some of these pictures that are just dangerous places i wasn't supposed to play in. so obviously i played there the most#sfw agere#agere sfw#age regressor#agere community#age regression#age regression blog#age regression moodboard#agere blog#agere board#sfw interaction only#🫛🪁 scraps 🍪🐞#fizz post
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My fourth wall OCs! ♥ (Patreon)
I tried to put everything in the tags but ended up being too long-winded lol, so here it is instead!
For this year’s big behind-the-scenes project, I realized I haven’t given colour references to a lot of my 4th Wall characters! There are...a surprising proportion of femboys who are aware of their existence here now that I look at it lol - I mean technically only Cory and Mint count there but that's still 2/8 - a fourth is kind of a lot! Their sizing is pretty funny to me as well, Cory’s proportions make everyone else look tiny by comparison, he’s just got a very large eye! Set right next to Gijat too, Vortians are so compact - he’s fully grown he’s an adult he’s just small!
Okay, for actuals now, starting left-to-right - while they’re obviously organized by height, it's funny because Cure is also the oldest by creation date. She's front of the line on everything! How silly. She's larger than your average plush bear but only by a little - just enough to be like Mildly intimidating if she approached haha. Puntable - and yet unpuntable lol. It's not just her being the oldest of the lot that makes her more powerful (although that is a contributing factor - she’s aware of her status both in and out of character!). It's not just Kids Rules either since she was made such a long time ago - y'know like ''Oh yeah well my character is [very powerful for X reasons]'' - although yes Also That lol. She's a Fourth Wall OC down to her roots, always intended that way - not everyone here can say that!
Tala also has that edge! Though in a very different way haha - she's also the only one here with a physical counterpart, which is fun :D Means she can go on “actual” adventures and bring that knowledge back with her cartoon versions - both are as real as the other! I keep forgotting her bow, agh, I need to take some more pictures of her sometime so my mental picture of her is more up to date haha
I guess my blankslate HF expression kind of counts?? Lol, it’s mostly for funsies, they’re more like a Concept As Person so?? Sure lol, With Accessories of course lol - haven’t been fighting it much lately so that’s all for now ♪ I wonder if they’ll stay so lucky in the near future hmmm
Gijat! ♥ He ended up being an accidental fourth wall character actually haha, he wasn’t designed with that in mind! He's not meant to know such things, but he did fairly well with it while he was part of the main rotation :) He was designed to be a story character but he ended up being my favourite comfort character so he got a few glimpses out <3 He hasn't for a while though! He's been retired for a long while actually - he's the second oldest character in the lineup after Cure but she had more staying power, sorry Gi <3 I did draw his fairy version not all That long ago tho! It’s hard to let go of anyone for Too long haha
Cory ♥ My sweet special boy <3 He's also the third oldest here! He was the first one to assert himself as a fourth wall OC haha ♪ Cure didn't really congeal into an OC for a long time - she stayed a concept and Gijat was on accident - whereas Cory purposefully and clearly looked outward from the start. He Has a story but it's never been all That developed - he has some non-4th Wall character-friends but his main focus is other, unrelated characters. He's always been very interested in other OCs, a lot of which stems from Bar actually haha - he and Bar are near-contemporaries - they're both featured here for a reason haha
Mint >:| He's...fine. He was inspired from a weird source and has therefore always Been weird - and also asserted himself like Cory. Same story - he has canon story elements but for the most part he's interested in others! Usually in a Pursuit kind of way, and not just limited to my OCs >:/ He needs to behave himself is what - he also has like 1000 outfits and they rarely repeat, ugh, pick one! I wasn’t familiar with the eGirl aesthetic at the time I made him, but he 100% fits it, look at him in his elf ears and heterochromatic contacts smh. I don’t actually know his real eye colour, or hair colour! He wears contacts and dyes his hair and won’t tell me, he even started dating a non-4th wall character without asking! He’s a real wild card
Erase is probably the babiest of the list despite Tala being newer and younger - everyone else was made before Erase! They’ve had had less screen time and less development than everyone else too.They're an incredibly light and oddly harmless fourth wall presence lol for all the danger They pose in Their story :0 They're fairly polite all things considered. They actually have a degree of respect for the fourth wall - unlike Some people (Mint) - probably from acknowledging The Player/Character vs. developer. If there's a hierarchy capable of being distinguished then Erase is going to place Themself in the safest spot. Y'know - to cause problems from lol. I do need to play with Them more - They're fun! But fun isn't quite enough to be full-fledged Interesting just yet, more to do, more to do
It's almost unfair to have Erase right next to Bar lol - possibly my most Interesting OC of all time. First created in 2015 quite soon after Cory, even in the same notebook! He retired in 2017, I think? 2018 at the latest - and then was revived in 2020 and has been here again since. And that's just his timeline! Not counting everything that went into him character-wise. Obviously my sonas don't count as 4th wall OCs because y'know - they're me - but Bar falls kind of unclear of the line between OC and sona, he's always been a weird one. He was initially meant to be an RP character and then over time he developed into a 4th wall OC/sona of a Kind. Nowadays he's a fully-fledged 4th wall OC by design - his change in design from his 2020 revival was meant to represent his transformation thereof - but he's always been weird! If I had to pick a character that I’d consider “overdeveloped” or put too much of myself in - even more than some of my sonas - it'd be him. He's one of my favourites because of that but it's hard to quantify how exactly I feel about him haha. I love him! It's painful! He's great! He's awful! He's very important to me and he'll never return to being what he was first created for again. I do quite like his new design <3 Paying homage to the video that sent him crashing back into relevance for me haha
It was fun to draw everyone :D And it's nice that they all have colour references now! Mint has definitely been the longest without one, everyone else has had at least Something - even Erase! And They're way newer! I did make Mint in a couple online dollmakers but that's not quite the same thing haha, he really needs his clothes hand-drawn :P
It's good to have them all :) They're a fun bunch and I like all of them <3 I think it’s kinda funny and a little strange how few crossovers they’ve had with each other though! So far it’s really only been Tala-Bar-Cory - the rest are aware of each other but haven’t really met, how strange, considering what they are!
#My art#Original#Would definitely recommend opening in a new tab on this one lol#This year's Requestober warmup project!#I actually ended up finishing everything well before the end of the season so I had to cast around for a few smaller things to do haha#But if anything I'm quite pleased that something of this size was able to be done so quickly!#It does help that my 4th wall OCs are some of my favourites haha - they get invited out! Or push themselves there >:P#I don't mind with Cory but Mint smh#I don't Really mind with Mint either pft but I do like to give him a hard time - he's a troublemaker!#On top of the high proportion of femboys there's also a lot of troublemakers in here - some of these interactions would be explosive lol#I do think it'd be fun to have them all meet up a bit more! Cure showed interest in Mint not too long ago#And Cory loves everyone haha he's actually very good about all that - he's kind of like a foster parent welcoming new rescues hahaha#He's always been like that <3 It's why he gets a birthday celebration most years good boys deserve good birthdays#I think Gijat would probably be overwhelmed by most everyone haha he really wasn't built to interact with others outside of his own story#And his fairy version probably hates me so there's that lol#He's good with kids tho! He could probably chat with Tala and they'd both be alright :)#Bar as usually snapping up any spare screentime and focus - gotta talk about him! Pft ♪#He's fairly chill thankfully - a little standoffish but that's to be expected really#Now that I think of it I drew Cory holding a tiny Bar when they were first contemporaries - I could do the opposite now!#Bar throws off the scale of everyone else so much haha <3#Goods lads ♥
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i don't talk about him a lot on here but a couple years ago i got a beta fish which i so sweetly named sebass-tian hamil-fin. i'd never had a fish before but at the time, since i wasn't in my apartment a lot, a fish was really the only thing i could care for. unfortunately, he passed away today.
i didn't think i'd be this upset by it because i could kind of tell over the past week or two that he wasn't doing too well. i tried my best to make him feel better but unfortunately, it wasn't enough.
i plan to go and get another fish tomorrow but i just...don't really know how to feel about it right now. he was my first fish and certainly won't be my last.
#tw animal death#cw animal death#i do recognize that i gave him a better quality of life than being on some pet store shelf in a small container#but this still isn't easy to take. i know he wasn't doing well and i tried my best dammit. i really did.#the shittiest part is that it really is my fault. you're supposed to change the tank water every two weeks or so and i just...i couldn't#whether it be work or depression or executive function i just usually got to it around four weeks#and the water just wasn't healthy at that point. so i'm really kind of beating myself up for it because by the time i realized it#it was too late. but wow did that little guy fight. he survived a move with me! i didn't move him properly in any way shape or form#and yet he did it. anyway. i've expected this every day for the last week or two but it was just confirmed and it really hit me#i've just been sitting here crying because i loved him but also! idk i just needed some company at first ya know?#not to sound like. detached from the situation but like...it really was an experiment? bc i never owned a fish before and wanted to see#if i could actually do it and i'm so so glad i did#he was a beautiful fish and i appreciated his company because beta's are actually pretty smart and usually grow to recognize you.#i lovingly joked with one of my friends that seabass was in hospice the past few weeks so truthfully i know i did what i could#but it was also realistically a learning experiment. now i know how to properly take care of a fish and the next seabass will have a great#experience and tank already ready for him. anyway if you've read this far gold star! i'm gonna log off now#i’m rambling again aren’t i
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ok but the fact that "aziraphale is softening. they haven't spoken in a hundred years: he's realizing they're still friends" and "there's no need to thank me that's what...friends...are for" was in the same night is making me go INSANE
#we NEED to talk more abt the 1941 ep im so serious im not normal about it like i had such high expectations and it suppressed them all.#am i disappointed there wasn't a rejection scene like i predicted?? yes ofc but also aziraphale said he did the apology dance that year so#i wonder what else could've fucking happened#but anyway. let's focus on what DID happen: aziraphale literally GLOWING with love in the car. crowley telling him to shut up cause of a#compliment. aziraphale helping crowley out and crowley looking at him like 'you'd do that for me?'. crowley not only letting aziraphale#practice magic with him but ACTIVELY playing a character to help him and i mean that scene was literally just crowley flirting with him#crowley indulging aziraphale by going to the magic shop with him and agreeing to participate in his show despite the fact that he NEVER EVEN#SHOT A GUN BEFORE. him just leafing thru the guidebook till he realizes there's a miracle blocker than starting to frantically flip thru it#her hands SHAKING on the gun and them being so afraid of hurting az. 'no paperwork :))' sure my guy that's what u r so happy about ofc#'but do u really think it went well' 'absolutely' with such sincerity. the book description saying smth abt ifa demon were to happen across#aziraphale they should report it immediately to the demon crowley. 'you could've just walked away' 'well you said 'trust me'' 'and you did'#its just. its one of my favorite eps it's so nice#good omens#azicrow#good omens s2#aziracrow#go s2 spoilers#go s2#good omens script book#good omens s2 spoilers#aziraphale x crowley
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