#i was trying to think of how to caption this

[multicohn]

summary: max’s gf seems to be getting more love than him

warnings: highkey sucks, short

pairing: fem! reader x max verstappen

genre: fluff, drabble

author note: about time i wrote max

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

flashback:

max has always been a private person and after his breakup with kelly piquet, he became even more closed off. it was even rare for him to even participate in streams nowadays. however, what no one knew was max had been taking time to reflect ( not do anything stupid — gp ) and managed to bump into y/n.

now, monaco isn’t a big place, but he’s never seen her before.

max was oddly intrigued, but he had just ended a relationship — but, it didn’t hurt to be friends, right?

it took him two full days of just staring before finally making a move.

“what brand is your laptop?”

okay, it wasn’t the best, but it was something.

y/n looked up at the strange and furrowed her eyebrows.

“um — ( brand name )?” he nodded and walked off

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

even to this day, y/n still teases max about it. back then, in his mind, he was proud of himself for actually saying something, but y/n thought he was a bit strange.

when they eventually became more friendly and comfortable around each other, he asked her out on a date. y/n was hesitant. she found out who he was and who he previously dated, his fans weren’t exactly the most supportive and she worried that it’d be the same, but max reassured her that he would say something if needed.

however, what none of them expected was how much love y/n would gain from them.

[ “he may be a 3 time world champion, but i will never understand how he bagged someone like her” ]

[ “MAX MOVE IM TRYING TO SEE Y/N” ]

[ “if i was dating someone like y/n, you would have to pry me off her — AWOOGA” ]

every time he posted, there would be comments asking about her. however, there was always one in particular would catch his eye.

[ “is your girlfriend single?” ]

he would just stare.

of course she isn’t single, they’re literally dating?

“you’re in the trenches mate” was what alex told him when he asked what they meant ( he needed someone who understood the internet )

“what?”

“it’s a good thing, don’t worry”

max didn’t think so.

call him possessive, but he felt the need to make them back off and posted a set of pictures for their anniversary along with a lengthy caption.

sadly, it didn’t work.

[ “i can call her the love of my life in a different language too” ]

[ “6/10 for spelling, 4/10 for punctuation, 3/10 for creativity” ]

[ “i could write more” ]

just like what alex said, max is in the trenches.

[mambodork]

I would totally confuse Grian for a stalker fan of HotGuy’s instead of his assistant/sidekick.

Exactly .... people would just walk up to him and see his watcher setup (foldable chair, snacks & drinks, binoculars, epic music playlist, a single newspaper for "disguise", and unhealthy amounts of h0tGuY merch) and just shakes their head in dissapointment like "h0tGuY stans these days are so outrageous 😒 doesn't even understand personal space."

Grian has been approached and reprimanded for this behavior several times (both in person and online when someone inevitably posts his picture on social media, captioning it with how disrespectful h0tGuY stans can be), and he can't even defend his honor for the sake of keeping his and h0tGuY's job 😭

I think Scar is more distressed about this issue than Grian is. He would definitely try to defend his ass on twitter and make a fake account to try and counter the posts calling Grian out lol (it's not really successful but he tried atleast !!!)

[rottenpumpkin13]

A long time ago, you received an ask about what languages the Firsts would like to learn. It went something like "Zack wants to learn Spanish because of -insert reason-" "Sephiroth wants to learn Latin totally not because of One Winged Angel" "Genesis wants to learn French to sound better than everybody". But the one I actually remember is Angeal:

Angeal: "If I had to learn another language, I would like to learn English, because nobody understands when I say to PUT. YOUR DISHES. IN THE DISHWASHER. PUTTING THEM ON THE COUNTER BY THE SINK DOES NOTHING."

I would like to counter this response by saying I put all the dishes neatly in the dishwasher for years until a new member of my family straight up refused to learn how to do it right. If the bowls aren't balanced the right way, they won't get washed. If you put things in the wrong location, you waste a lot of useful space. But this man flat out said "I refuse to learn how to do this right because I don't care".

So out of SPITE, dishes now sit on the kitchen counter because I refuse to be bothered when no one else gives a shit. What does Angeal think about this if this is something one of his fellow Firsts did?

Angeal may try to project an image of humility and honor, but he combats petty with petty. If he realizes people who have the privilege of owning a dishwasher are being disorderly out of spite, he'll do things to be even pettier. This includes:

��� One time he witnessed Sephiroth dump a perfectly good mug of coffee down the drain, and made it his personal mission to mess with him. Over a month, he methodically swapped all of Sephiroth's coffee with decaf and watched Sephiroth slowly descend into madness.

• When Genesis couldn't be bothered to wash his dishes in the break room, Angeal turned it into an art show. He'd collect the dirty dishes and created elaborate display outside Genesis' office, complete with angallery-style label like "Exhibit 17: A Study in Neglected Responsibilities"

• Changed all the settings on Zack's computer so it would autocorrect "SOLDIER" to "SHOULDER" in his official emails to Director Lazard. Lazard received three reports about "SHOULDER Second Class performance reviews"

• Orchestrated a three-week psychological campaign to convince everyone—including Sephiroth himself—that he was allergic to coffee. Every time Sephiroth took a sip, Angeal would squint and ask about non-existent rashes until even Sephiroth started second-guessing himself.

• Loves cooking extravagant meals just to send photos to his friends with captions like "Made your favorite dish… Not for you though" or "This could've been yours."

• Claims everyone's preferred spots, especially Sephiroth's cherished right-side aisle seat in their usual mess hall booth. He'll sit there with a straight face while watching Sephiroth's internal blue screen. (punishment for the coffee)

•Steals Sephiroth's favorite coffee mug, making it mysteriously appear in increasingly bizarre locations around the 49th floor. like inside the copy machine, balanced on top of the water cooler, in the middle of board meeting tables, and once inside the vents.

• Changes Zack's training sessions into "essential SOLDIER skills" that suspiciously look like chores, like organizing the filing room, polishing all the doorknobs in the building, alphabetizing Angeal's spice rack, and putting coffee beans in the air vent in Sephiroth's office, so that Sephiroth constantly smells coffee whenever he's working.

• Weaponizes his infamous lectures. Once subjected Genesis to a 45-minute lecture on "proper pizza etiquette and the spiritual implications of throwing out the crust." Gives Sephiroth an hour-long lecture about resource conservation whenever he spots him with coffee. Sephiroth is in hell

• Takes malicious delight in creatively misinterpreting Sephiroth's requests:

Sephiroth: The coffee maker needs cleaning. Angeal: *Completely disassembles the coffee maker and spreads all its parts across Sephiroth's desk and cleaning supplies* Sephiroth: *visibly fighting the urge to cry*

• Maintains a detailed "incident log" where he documents everyone's minor transgressions. Once pulled it out during a board meeting to remind Genesis about "The Great Stapler Misplacement of Last Tuesday." Adds a tally mark under Sephiroth's name every time he spots him with coffee.

• Started a rumor that his office plant can sense irresponsibility. Strategically moves it around the office to "watch" people. Zack is completely convinced it's judging him.

Zack: I swear it droops when I forget to hand in my reports! Angeal, watering plant: The voice of nature speaks the truth.

• Sephiroth has quit coffee.

[rat-rosemary]

In case people are wondering how close drantis are sometimes to dsmpblr and dreblr:

That cgeorge art people are reblogging? He dangly one with the caption of they want to make it a keychain if there's enough interest?In the tags of the original post they say they hate abd "do not endorse" ccGeorge LMAO.

I feel you on the "dont vet blogs" thing because like throwback to the 2nd great twitter exodus and i had people all up in my asks because I reblogged rivals art that crossed my dash and apparently OP shipped a ship twitter did NAWT like. Like. Ok. First off I saw Rivals Duo on my dash. So I reblogged Rivals Duo on my dash. Second, thats my friend (didnt you scroll and vet my blog anon? 🤨). Third, even if they werent, why do i have to scroll someones blog for 10 minutes to make sure theyre Kosher to reblog from when im just trying to look at art on my 10min break at work THATS STUPID. Fourth if youre from twitter and trying to control what tumblr does instead of adapting to tumblr i think you should fail at an attempt to crosd a busy road

Augh :[

Yeah okay so maybe there are a lot mores sucky people then what I realized :[

Even then I feel people can have odd standards for what you should veto as well

Like, for the anon who accused me of being a dranti I should be checking the blogs I interact with, but me shipping Quackity and Dream was completely fine (funniest asks ever btw, I hope that anon is doing well)

For someone else I should not be following or reblogging art from people who ship dreamnoblade (which is, in my opinion, the most obvious post-pandora ship along with Drunz. Like. The chocolate ice-cream of dsmp ships)

Even if you tried you couldn't make your blog safe for everyone, and you shouldn't try!

But yeah, people who got used to the high control environment of twt can have a hard time disconnecting from those expectations and habits, but I think most of them need time and space

[theperrylleluniverse]

[merrigel]

I want it back = I drag its dead weight forward

[hinamie]

色彩 [Shikisai]

[bacchuschucklefuck]

we let the ocean drown out our voices/enjoying the bitterness/in the chaotic light, I close my eyes and see

[warpfactor9]

i somehow never noticed the soft little "kirk..." right at the start here... it feels more impactful to hear spock intentionally switches to calling him jim after that to ground him, then captain to bolster his confidence once he's gotten ahold of himself again

[horreurscopes]

my guy pretty like a girl & he got fight stories to tell; i see both sides like chanel

[edwinspaynes]

Love how upset the fandom at large is on behalf of George. Netflix did him so dirty.

[sysig]

“It could be that the loss of her children drove the Queen deeper into her darker desires...but, I don’t believe she was fighting against them that hard before that particular tragedy. No monster does.” (Patreon)

Bonus:

Hmm, wonder what he could cover those holes with :3c

[ashleyslorens]

[coolnonsenseworld]

A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........

Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!

 mmezzy.bigcartel.com

[ratingboomercomics]

So I wanted to post a gay comic for pride month but when I looked up “gay boomer comic”(and I cannot emphasize enough)the only results were either homophobic or furries(idk what this was about but there was so much furries). Luckily Gary Larson came through. My friend in trying times

I gotta give this one 9/10 I think, I love Gary Larson obviously, it’s a solid pun, and I love the cow lesbian bar, that’s iconic(I always get a kick out of the cows)but it’s not the best Far Side out there. The best one is Cow Tools obviously

[thelassoway]

Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso Season 3 » Casual Sweaters/Jumpers