#i was born on that day exactly 50 years later

[canthelpit0]

Cry Baby

Pairing: Matt x crybaby!popular!reader

Wordcount : 3.3K+

Summary: you were popular. The jester of the group. But atleast it was something. Nobody knew just how much you’d been struggling, until your secrets were exposed in the school cafeteria.

Warnings: swearing, angst, crying, mentioned of depression, Matt’s PoV, sensitive!reader, mentions of SH, SH mocking, humiliation, exposing secrets, fake friends, hurt/comfort, pet names (baby), use of y/n

(A/N: I wrote this based of this song. Bcs I was listening to it and had this scenario in my head, so I wrote it down.)

You had always been a bit of a crybaby.

You’re the oldest sibling. Your mother thought she couldn’t have any children, but she had. You were a blessing to her.

So after you were born you were never put down. Someone was always with you. To keep you from crying, entertaining you. Caving to your needs.

But once you got to kindergarten, it seemed that all those times your parents hushed you and made sure you didn’t cry had bottled up.

You didn’t speak a lot. You didn’t like socializing with people. You kept to yourself and that’s how you liked it.

You had severe attachment issues to your mom though. Because of her always being with you to soothe you, her not being there seemed like a nightmare.

So when she dropped you off at kindergarden, every day, you would cry, begging your mom to stay.

Eventually you got used to it, but you quickly found a friend to cling to.

Emma, was your one and only friend. The only person you talked to.

It was pretty much the same in elementary school. You’d trod around and talk to people. You were a bubbly social kid.

But you were also easy to break.

You didn’t have a lot of friends. All friends you had were only people you’d hang around in recess.

Emma stuck with you though.

Until, middle school.

In middle school you’d, for some reason, fallen into a depressive mindset.

Emma and you were in your awkward middle school phases. And in that time she’d become really rude.

And one day during a fight she told you how much she hated listening to your sobs.

You’d been vulnerable around her. You had trusted her.

And she’d broken that trust. By telling you that every time you had seeked her comfort she actually didn’t want to give it to you.

Your heart’s too big for your body.

You two stopped talking after that day. Until four months later Emma apologized for her words. You, being an empath, excepted the apology and went back to being friends with her.

Little did she know that her words rang through your head while you cut yourself.

A few months after you became friend again, she moved. She moved out of the country. You never saw her again.

So for high school you had taken it spoon yourself to mask your depression and ‘get over yourself’.

You started to dress more basic, learning to do your make up, hair, skincare. And basically everything to hide your miserable state the best you could.

Somehow it worked.

You had good facial proportions, and just a little bit of work you looked like a basic mean girl who is full of herself. But that was exactly the point.

Somehow, once High school started, you managed to get into the clique of the popular girls.

You were always so upbeat, cheery and talkative. No one could ever guess that you’re the most depressive mother fucker in a 50 mile radius.

Though as much as you would like the power of being the leader of the group, you were not. You were more like the jester of the group than anything.

You had held your mental breakdowns to a minimum. Holding back as much as you could. You only had Few panic attacks nowadays. And if you had one in school, you always had a touch up make up bag there.

Now it was senior year. You got ready like usual, not knowing that today would alter your life and the way people perceive you.

Matt’s PoV

I watch in horror.

Y/n is one of the popular girls in our school.

I’m not too popular. But I’m well known, all due to the fact that I’m a triplet. And due to the fact that Nick and Chris are really extroverted people.

Both of them are currently not with me.

Chris is sick at home. While Nick is in the library with some of our female friends.

I sit at my table with the lacrosse team around Me.

The entire cafeteria has their eyes focused on y/n.

She was arguably the prettiest out of all the popular girls.

But right now she was crying, Biting her lip. Her head tilted forward in shame at the claims her group was throwing at her.

The leader of the popular girls, Kelly, was accusing y/n of stealing her boyfriend at first, yelling right in her face. She yelled right back at Kelly though, not scared to stand up for herself.

But Kelly being the leader of the group, all the other girls sided with her.

I never understood why people would talk, or would argue, about stuff like this in public places. It was humiliating.

I was getting second hand embarrassment just watching.

The insults were getting more and more personal by the second.

Nobody was doing anything, captivated by the scene unfolding in front of them. Some people have their phones out filming for, ..who knows what reason.

I drown out most of the insults-

“IS THAT WHY YOU FUCKING CUT YOURSELF?” Kelly yells right back in y/n’s face.

The cafeteria had already been quiet. But with those words even the quiet conversations stopped. It seemed like everyone’s attention snapped back to the scene.

It was the passerby effect in full force. No one was doing anything, too shocked. Not even the teachers that were present said anything.

It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

My ear start ringing, my eyes staying glued on y/n.

To me, it was obvious that something about y/n was off. She was polished to perfection. To a concerning degree. Nobody was that perfect.

So the revelation didn’t necessarily shock me. But the fact that Kelly was heartless enough to air y/n’s business out like that.

“I don’t.” Y/n’s words cut harshly through the quiet cafeteria. Her words are insistent like she was telling the truth.

She was a great liar, yet everyone would believe Kelly over her. Even if it was a lie.

“Oh but you do.” Kelly scoffs looking at the people y/n used to call friends. They all nod at Kelly’s statement.

“You have those scars all over your wrists.” Kelly points out nodding down to y/n’s wrists.

It’s like everyone takes a collective look down at her arms to see if something is actually there.

Me being so far away from their table I can’t see it clearly. But I really don’t want to anyway.

I watch as Y/n lets her head fall forward letting out a small laugh, shocking everyone in the cafeteria including me.

Y/n’s hands are trembling and shaking. She purses her lips looking back up at Kelly who looks at her with superiority.

Y/n picks her head back up and leans her head up to readjust her hair. Her hands ball into fists before she crosses her arms, trying to keep her composure.

Even from being a few tables away from the scene i can clearly see the tears running down her cheeks.

She huffs a laugh through a sob.

“Some friends you fucking are” she says harshly her glare focused on the girls around Kelly that she used to call friends.

The cafeteria is silent again for a moment the only thing heard being y/n’s soft sniffles

“Crybaby” one of the girls huffs under her breath, but its loud and clear in the silent cafeteria.

“Fuck you Rebecca.” I hear y/n’s voice snap at the girl. Despite crying her tone was still sharp.

“What’re you gonna do about it, gonna go home and cut yourself some more?” Another one of the girls in the group scoffs.

Y/n lets out another miserable chuckle hearing the comment.

I purse my lips remaining seated. I probably look miserable right now. I don’t want to be watching this. Hell I would like to stop this, but I can’t.

Before y/n can fire back though more and more comments from all the girls pore out. And the more: “you gonna kill yourself?” “you gonna cut yourself?” remarks they make the more humiliated y/n looks.

By the end of their relentless comments and bullying y/n is crying sobbing. And as someone with anxiety I can see the inevitable anxiety attack, in the way her entire body shakes.

With a strong “fuck you all” to her former friends y/n turns in her heels and leaves.

The cafeteria is quiet for a moment before the room breaks out in conversation, everyone gossiping about the scene they just witnessed. Debating how much of what was said was true.

I feel sick to my stomach knowing I had watched a girl just get torn down by her own, so called friends, like that, and didn’t do anything.

I mumble an excuse to my friends leaving the table. They don’t even seem to care emerged in their own conversations about the ‘gossip’.

I speed walk out of the cafeteria to find y/n.

There are only two places I can think of her being at. The girls bathroom, wich is probably not the case since she looked like she wanted to get as far away as possible,

Or her car.

She’d parked next to my van today. So I run out of the school to my car, to see hers still parked next to mine. I glance into it and she’s not in the drivers seat.

I get closer, catching my breath. I look through the window of the backseat seeing her sitting there curled up in on herself.

I knock on the car window catching her attention. Y/n’s beautiful teary eyes meet mine through the tinted glass.

She presses on a button on her car keys, the car unlocking.

Immediately I open the car door and slide in. My gaze soft as I look at the hyperventilating girl in front of me.

I close the door behind me. I gently take the car keys out of her hands. She was clinging to it like her life depended on it. I lock the car again and then lean to the front of the car and toss her keys on the drivers seat.

I turn back to y/n, she had her legs up to her chest hugging them while she continues to sob.

“Matt” she breaths out my name so tenderly.

We weren’t friends. But we shared one class in which we partnered up sometimes.

“Sh, you’re okay y/n” I breathe out. In an instant, my arms wrap around her smaller frame pulling her into me. I hug her from the side, her sobs wracking her body.

“No, no it’s not okay.” She lets out an irritated sigh, her breath hitching as a sobs Tores through her body again. “I just lost all my friends.”

I purse my lips holding her head. I cradle her into my chest. She didn’t deserve to have her stuff aired out like that, but all she was worried about was loosing her fake ass friends?

“Oh baby.” I sigh out. The nickname slips through my lips so effortlessly I didn’t even notice.

I keep her head cradled into my chest while I feel tears start to form in my own eyes.

“They ruined it.” She chokes out again, her voice shaky.

I breathe in heavily. “They ruined what?” I ask gently.

“My reputation”

I pause. My lips quiver at the sound of her cries. I try to blink away my own tears.

“That’s all you care about?” The words leave my lips before they register. I know she cares about all the things others say to her. She just seems like the type to.

“Matt, I spend so much time,” she sobs through the few words she said. Pausing to cry some more at the thought of it. “So, so much time, perfecting myself.”

I hear her pause again, and by this point I can’t hold back my own tears. I let out a soft sob crying with her as I hold her even closer to myself.

“I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s none of their business” her words are soft. But the more she talks the more quiet she gets.

In a way she was like me. Masking her sorrow like that. She always just seemed too perfect to be true.

Perfect hair, perfect makeup, perfect face. Great humor, nice, kind, popular.

But nobody ever questioned it. She had everyone fooled. She was a great liar. And even though I had my suspicions she never gave me a reason to believe I was right.

I just thought I was delusional for reading into things.

But I was right.

As much as I wish I wasn’t.

“I’m so sorry.” I whisper. I try to breathe hard as to not sob like she was. I wanted to comfort her not cry with her.

She pulls away slightly. I look at her. She still has tears running down her cheeks, not looking like it’d stop soon. She looks up at me through her tear stained lashes, her mascara only slightly smudged.

Her lips quivers as I see another wave of sadness wash over her. “Why are you crying?” She asks her voice shaky. She lets out another choked sob.

Her hands cup my cheeks as we both cry looking at the other. “Please don’t cry,” the sight of my tears only seems to make her more sad.

But seeing the way she looked crying, I only wanted to cry harder.

She still looked perfect. Though her makeup was smudged slightly, her hair messy, her perfect features stained with her tears.

I gently grab her wrists slowly pulling her hands off of my face. I pull up the sleeve of her longs sleeved shirt and flip her arm to look at her wrist.

My gut clenches at the sight of the tiny white healed marks. They were barely noticeable anymore.

I had noticed them before when we had partnered up for some project. But out of respect I didn’t say anything. Besides they weren’t that bad, thin, white stripes messily across her wrist.

For all I knew it could’ve been her cat. I don’t have a cat, and neither have I seen self harm cuts before, so I wouldn’t know the difference.

I purse my lips. I let my head fall forward slightly my eyes closed. I feel sick to my stomach knowing someone as perfect as y/n was, or had been cutting herself at some point.

I hear a choked sob fall from her lips. I feel her intense stare burn through my scalp.

I pick up my head again, my eyes immediately looking to hers. She was crying again. Making me also shed a few tears again.

I bring her wrist up to my face leaving a gentle peck on it.

She watches me. The sight only making her cry more. She closes her eyes briefly.

It wasn’t like she’d expected me out of all people to shame her for her scars. But she also hadn’t expected him to just kiss them.

“You didn’t deserve that sweetheart.” I whisper under my breath. I pull her back in leaving a firm kiss on her forehead before cradling her head back into my chest.

She breaks out into sobs again her arms going under mine and hugging me tightly.

She was clinging to me tightly, her sobs wrecking her body, and also making me cry.

I gently pat down her hair,as she keeps crying, trying to soothe both of us.

“Y/n.” She pulls back slightly, her arm still wrapped around me. “Do you still..” I trail off not wanting to say it. Because if I say it, it’ll be too true.

Her lip quivers as I see her glossy eyes shed tears again. She lets out a gut wrenching sob again pressing her face into my chest again, mumbling “I’m sorry”s over and over again.

I sigh sympathetically, rubbing her scalp. I knew from experience, that after crying so much, your head would hurt so bad. And even though she was still crying I wanted to soothe her.

“Honey.” I say gently pulling her away from me. Our eyes meet briefly before she looks down in shame. I gently grab her cheek again making her look back up at me.

“Where do you cut?” I ask softly. I grimace at the words leaving my lips. I calmed down not crying anymore, but my eyes staying glassy.

Her eyebrows are scrunched together as she slightly pouts. Her eyes were still glassy, threatening to break out in sobs again.

“I don’t do it often..” she whispers under her breath, trying to over herself. Her eyes close briefly shame written all other her face.

“Where.” My tone is still low, but more firm, demanding an answer.

“My thigh.” She lets one of her Chanda fall from around me resting her hand on her very upper right thigh.

My eyes soften even further. My tears had dried in my face by now, but I felt just about ready to cry again.

I shift slightly. Her hand that had still been around me going to the bottom of my shirt and keeping a firm grip on the fabric.

I put my hand on her waist my touch featherlight, not wanting to overstep. “Is this okay?”

She purses her lips. Her eyes stay locked on mine as she tries to read what I’m trying to do. But she ultimately nods.

I put both my hands on her waist and pick her up from next to me putting her on my lap. She lets out a shaky breath her eyes going wide.

“Is this okay?” I enquirer my tone staying low.

Her bottom lip wobbles again. She closes her eyes briefly. “I don’t wanna go anything.” She breaths out her voice small and almost afraid.

My own eyes widen for a second looking back at her. I just realized how bad this looked without context. But I’m not a dick. I want to comfort her, not get in her pants.

I take my hands from her waist putting them on my thighs. Yet she doesn’t make a move off of me. Her hand stayed bunched up on my shirt.

“God, I don’t mean it like that.” I breathe out. “Just, me comforting you would be easier like this?” I says slowly.

Her gaze goes up to meet mine again, her lip quivering holding herself back from crying again.

She leans forward resting her face on my collarbone. She puts her other hand on my chest too as she starts to sob again. my right hand goes to her back rubbing it gently. While my left hand goes to her thigh massaging where her scars presumably were.

Her crying makes me tear up again. So we just cry together. My hand rubbing soothing motions into her back, and my other hand finally going up to cradle her head into me further.

I whisper encouraging words. Until eventually her cries die down, and so do mine.

She pulls back slightly, her eyes red rimmed and puffy. The tip of her nose and her cheeks red. And her lips as puffy as her eyes. She is a pretty crier, but the sight still makes me feel remorseful.

I put my hand back on her right thigh gently rubbing circles on it. My other hand going to cup her cheek. She leans into my touch relaxing more. She looked more tired than anything now.

“You can always talk to me, you know that.” I breath out, finally feeling like the lump in my throat was gone.

Her hand cups my wrist keeping my hand in her face. I start to rub her cheek gently looking at her pretty face.

“You can stay with me, Nick and Chris. Alright?” She nods slightly in answer.

I move my hand from her cheek to her hair rubbing at her scalp slightly. “You want me to take you home pretty girl?” I ask softly.

After all we were still in the school parking lot.

“Please.”

Masterlist

A/N: I actually cried writing this. the first part was actually literally me. and i also used to cry a lot, and cut, so this just made me cry while writing, bcs i relate to it so much. i love you all, stay safe & clean <3

‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh

[sandorsubs]

wiring your brain to control shifting

i was playing a video game but level was extremely hard. i shed blood and sweat, thinking "maybe this game is for pros and i'm not a good gamer" i was this close to give up but i wanted to see rest of the game so badly i kept trying. finally i passed it thinking it's just luck.

years later i played the game again. i hesitated at first but passed the same level in my first try. mind you i didn't become pro gamer or anything in all these years. it was just my brain wiring in the background, collecting data to find out what to do exactly but i've never realized this until i have to do it again.

if you ever said "i have never been able to do this throughout my life" for anything wait for a second and admit this is just a mental block you put between you and your desire. when you are wiring your brain, you don't realize it's happening, looks like nothing is changing or only little changes happening. because you don't see what's happening in background. it actually becomes easier but we don't care because if it's easier we are too focused on moving forward and achieving the desire.

then a random day it feels natural being able to do that. almost like you were born with this.

i've said this in my previous post, shifting isn't a skill/talent/sth related to luck or genetics. if you still think shifting is just one big change happens rarely and miraculously, please try to change that.

because shifting is just like water. it can be a drop or big ass ocean(depending on the changes in the realities). just because you've never seen an ocean, it doesn't mean you can't look at rain and say guess there has to be more.

you won't wire your brain to shift but to control it. if you aren't new to shifting, at least couple months passed since you've started your journey, your wiring has already started.

how wiring works for shifting?

i'll call this wiring path. you either stick to one thing you like or feel comfortable with, even a little interest is more than enough. or find an existing wiring path. the times you felt close to shifting for example. maybe a little voice keeps telling you this is your method. you probably have more than one wiring paths for shifting, but they are like unfinished projects. one of them must be more prominent, like at least 50% finished project.

after you've decided on your wiring path, it's not any different from achieving anything. you are not a monk, you won't be spending eternity if you are actively learning. do you know those clicking moments? you can meditate for thirty hours straight but a feeling or realization in one of your attempts takes wiring process further. and i gotta admit, maybe you needed those thirty hours meditation to realize this. that's what i love about wiring. nothing goes is in vain.

everything you do takes your wiring further.

if it feels like literally nothing is changing, you either work on more than one wiring paths or the process slowed down.

when you are not aware of this wiring, it's like pushing all the buttons and hope for best. that's what they mean by lock in. because trying everything at the same time or having backup methods is working on more than one wiring paths.

it's like learning ten languages at the same time but you are barely a1 in all of them.

like i said you have more than one wiring paths and they are unfinished projects, they all have potential. don't give them powers thinking one of them is better than the other. you make them work better with yourself. you have power to choose.

wiring from loa perspective

before loa folks come and say "so what you are saying is, you have to actually do sth to shift? stop planting assumptions in people's minds! i don't have to do anything to shift!"

baby, i'm gonna hold your hand while saying this, you assumption is also a work. you assumed you don't need 46 step method to shift or you have already shifted, right? good, i'm happy for you but see that's also a work. you still do something. you wire your brain this is how you'll control shifting. seriously, what do you consider as "work"? i'm not telling you to do 30 push-ups everyday. (i'm not being sarcastic btw, i love loa. but some of y'all doesn't like to see anything out of assumption-core. this isn't progressive and if my opinions are shaking the foundation of your assumption, sorry but maybe it's not much of an assumption because it shouldn't matter even the whole world is against you when it comes to loa -sandor goddard). whatever get on the ship loa gang, we are sailing

why "tried it all" shifters couldn't complete their wiring process then?

so i remember a person in my dm saying "i've tried a particular method for long period of time. i've tried it all and gave time."

i picture a student when i see "tried it all" shifters. this student thinks if they study math and score high marks in exams they'll be a perfect student. so they start working hard, ignoring the fact they hate math or find it hard to understand.

maybe they're interested in sports or literature but this student is obsessed with having perfect student image. they are not actively wiring, they are bargaining which only slows down and takes extra effort even to reach a milestone. they'll still have hard time to wire their brain even in subjects they do like. they study for 9 hours straight but the friend of them sniffs the textbook and scores higher.

then we have to let go of desire? it depends, i think there are two kinds of desire: first, a desire that helps you, reminds you of what you want to have and the second, desire that reminds you, what's lack. if your desire feels like a liability or its leeching you it's the second one. atp what your desire is unimportant. it's about how you see this unaccomplished desire.

plus if you are actively wiring your brain, you won't even have time to think about this desire obsessively. because you are too focused on what to do, desire is just a fuel and collectively helping you.

so people whose shifted in first attempt didn't wire any shit?

when you bumped into a "i shifted in my first attempt" person next rime, know that they are not shifting gods or prophets. they just figured out in instant what makes their brain easier to wire for controlling shifts. let's be fr some people are gifted with focusing or visualizing. they have useful existing wiring paths for shifting. plus i want to remind you something:

don't underestimate the power of a blank page. neutrality has higher frequency than courage, do you know why? because you don't have any fears or worries, when you are neutral you don't need a reason be courageous. i know if i erease your shifting attempts from your memory right now, you'd be shifting in your "first" attempt either. because most of the time you deal with your fears and worries instead of actively wiring.

how to actively wire?

people are trembling, throwing up and procrastinating when it comes to "attempt". i don't even want to call it attempt because you are actively learning. and no it's not "dw we learn from every attempt 🌺🌻✨" kinda motivation, it's literally how your brain is getting wired.

let's assume you find your wiring path, it's more prominent than other paths you have. for example its raven method + visualizing and falling asleep. you felt close to shifting with this method before. be aware of your every attempt and observe closely because by the time you'll get better at each part of your method. active wiring is not doing the same thing everyday robotically.

maybe normally you count to 100 but one day you feel you are already focused when you reached 40. or your focusing skills improved so much, you need to discard counting part, because you already wired that part in your brain. or you were visualizing yourself in your dr bed but suddenly you felt like you want to visualize one of your dr memories. your brain will be more invested in something they find interested. in previous student example i gave you, bargaining person misses these moments, they stubbornly do the same thing and rarely progress.

don't be scared of working on your wiring path. if you feel like you are waiting or pending, your wiring only slowed down. it doesn't always mean you need to do something, maybe you need to observe what you are doing and make simple changes. even if it means taking a break.

active wiring is not waiting for the day you'll achieve it. when you are learning a new skill you do your thing and expect it to be successful every single time even if it's your first time. you can almost see yourself achieving it. this expectation doesn't come from bargaining tho, it's your desire, the healthy kind.

in next posts i'll be sharing my way to wire my brain to control shifting and the terms i came up with. this is how i observed and decided to use wiring for myself. please take care and don't consume everything you read if it feels wrong or doesn't sit with you, or you don't even want to accept it true. spit it out. same for this post.

[lynnlyrae]

VnC timeline

I’m mostly an artist in this fandom, but sometimes inspiration strikes and leads me in completely weird directions, such as… figuring out dates of every event in VnC!

With the invaluable help of @retracexcviii, who has created timelines for VnC events before (thank you forever and ever💜) and helped me to avoid some really silly mistakes, I’ve done… this monstrosity of a text, which includes every important canon event I could think of.

— All events are distributed by centuries, starting with XVI and finishing with XIX, and after listing all the events of each century I will put screens of the same texts with correlating manga pages. Additionally, there are numbers of chapters for most of the events.

— Some dates are marked with ~, which means that this date could fluctuate a bit (could be a bit earlier or later). 

— Events that I couldn’t put anywhere specifically are in “UNKNOWN MOMENT” category. I still tried to differentiate them between centuries.

Alright, here we go! 

XVI CENTURY

1493-1500 — creation of an engraving; plague, cataclysms, Paracelsius is looking for a way to save humanity.

(7)

~ 1500 — Babel. The awakening of Faustina, who is considered to be the first vampire.

(19)

1500-1550 — the awakening of Teacher and Machina as vampires. Machina might be younger than Teacher. Creation (awakening?) of Luna? The awakening of Teacher and the creation of Luna — probably around the same time?

(19)

~ 1550-1560 — Chloe is born. She becomes a vampire at the age of 4.

(31)

Between 1550-1600 — Ruthven becomes a vampire. He is currently more that 200 years old, and it’s unknown whether he was born as a vampire or awaken or even when exactly his life began. But looks like an adult in 1650, so he was most likely alive in 1600. He is also younger than Chloe: when she calls him a “child”, he doesn’t correct her.

(31)

Presumable order of awakening of the oldest vampires: 

Faustina —> Teacher —> Machina —> Chloe —> Ruthven. 

When exactly was Luna born? Does Kresnik exist in this century?

XVII CENTURY

~ 1650 — the war between humans and vampires. Chloe meets Ruthven.

(31)

~ 1665-1669 — Jeanne awakens in a flask in front of an unknown person. She leaves the flask. Later, she is adopted by Eric and Louise, Ruthven's students.

(39)

~ 1669 — Chloe meets Jeanne. Ruthven tries to establish peace between humans and vampires.

(31, 32)

~ 1672 — (3 years after Chloe and Jeanne met, 30 years before the end of the war) Ruthven loses his students, his eye is injured; Jeanne becomes the Bourreau of the Senate; Chloe meets Machina; Machina tells about the fate of Ruthven and Jeanne. Almost immediately, Naenia appears for the first time (indicating that Faustina is already a cursebearer); Ruthven visits Chloe for the last time, they part as enemies. If Naenia exists, does Charlatan exist as well?

(32, 33)

UNKNOWN MOMENT BEFORE 1672 — Faustina becomes a cursebearer.

(33)

UNKNOWN MOMENT BEFORE 1672 — Luna creates the Books of Vanitas, which are considered to be the reason for the appearance of the Malnomen. Could the books be created to cure the cursebearers in the first place? Most likely, this happened early in the timeline, since there is a whole folklore about it. Even earlier, someone gave Luna the name " Vanitas", which is also reflected in the title of the books.

(48, 49)

XVIII CENTURY

Before 1702 — Ruthven joins the Oriflamme family, becomes one of the Queen's advisors and a senator. The Queen is still alive, but she is also active as Naenia. Luna sees Jeanne in battle.

(33)

1702 — the end of the war. According to the pact, vampires move to Altus and sell Astermite to humans in exchange for other goods.

(33, 59)

1764 — Chloe spends more than 50 years alone. Death of village girl Jeanne, who speculated to be killed by a Beast, but was a victim of radical anti-vampire group. On the same day, she is visited by Naenia and then meets Jean-Jacques. The Beast conspiracy continues.

(36, 33)

1767 — Chloe witnesses one of the murders and reveals her vampiric powers when she defends herself. After that, the general belief is that Chloe is the master of the mysterious nonexistent Beast and both are the culprits. Her human family is killed. A few days later the Chasseurs (Vampire eradication fraction?) and Ruthven come to Gévaudan. Jean-Jacques becomes a Cursebearer to protect Chloe. Jeanne, now the Hellfire Witch, finds Chloe. Chloe tries to jump off a cliff, but Naenia comes to her again. Chloe also becomes the Cursebearer. Jeanne kills other hunters, but Ruthven saves her, makes her give him an oath (she tries to resist) and puts her in deep sleep. The Beast stops attacks. Conspiracy between Ruthven and the Chasseurs presumably continues.

(35, 36, 37, 43, 39)

UNKNOWN MOMENT BETWEEN 1672-1702 — Luna witnesses Jeanne in a fight with vampires. Later, after 1767, Luna also knew about Jeanne’s sleep.

(4)

XIX CENTURY

1861 — Olivier is born. 

1862 — Roland is born.

1868 — Dominique and Louis are born. Teacher takes Louis.

(46)

1869 — Noé is born.

1870 — Vanitas is born; Dante is born.

1873 — Astolfo is born.

~ 1875 — Olivier meets Roland.

(58)

~ 1874-1875 — an elderly couple finds Noé. They live together for some time.

(9)

~ 1876 — Mikhail is born. Luca is probably born around the same time or a bit later.

~ 1876-1877 — Noé is kidnapped and ends up in a black market, gets an eye injury and is bought by Teacher. Noé meets Domi and Louis (their proportions are quite similar to Astolfo in his childhood flashbacks, where he is presumed to be around 8 years old, but Noé looks younger, so here I’m assuming Noé and the twins could be 6-7 or 7-8 years old). // Probably around the same time, Dante is abandoned by unknown woman. He meets Johann and Riche. Absence of his glasses and bandages indicate that there could be at least a few weeks or months between the two events. 

(9, 61, 62)

~ before 1881 — Vanitas is orphaned and placed under the care of the Church as a potential future Chasseur, but is kidnapped by Moreau for secret experiments.

(49)

1881 — sketch of the Tower of the Sun by Amédée Sébillot, electrical engineer. He worked with engineer Jules Bourdais on this project, but in fact the tower was unrealizable. If the monument designed by Sébillot was real, it would have collapsed under its own weight.

Before or early 1881 — Roland and Olivier move to Paris. Roland is injured, but it’s unknown how it happened. Olivier’s hairstyle may indicate that it happened earlier than the time when Roland almost died. 

(46.5)

~ 1881 — Roland (vice-captain) is injured while defending Olivier. Olivier was injured too. // Misha (who looks about 5 years old??) meets Roland, but later ends up in Moreau's laboratory, where Vanitas is already located.

(47)

~ 1881-1882 — Astolfo secretly meets a vampire. When Astolfo befriends Olivier, he tells him about this secret. The death of the Granatum family. Astolfo meets Carl, Roland (his injuries, which were still visible when he met Misha, have already healed) and other Paladins. Olivier definitely had a title of Obsidian by the time of Granatums’ murder, so some time passes between the day Astolfo met a vampire and the day of Granatums’ murder. 

(48, 58) 

~ 1882-1883 1881-1882* — Louis dies. Domi learns the truth about her and Louis being twins. // Luna saves Misha and Vanitas when they destroy Moreau's lab*. Moreau joins the Charlatan. Misha agrees to be bitten by Luna. Later, Luna loses their true name; Misha loses their arm; Luna dies by Vanitas’s hands. Vanitas and Misha inherit the Books, but are separated, and Teacher takes Misha.

*@torterrachampion mentioned in reblog that Noé is officially 12 years old when Louis’s died ang provided an image from a booklet for the Blu-ray of the anime. I completely missed that fact, so thank you for bringing it up! I’ve decided to change the time range for this event to 1881-1882 for better accuracy.

*It is likely that Noé witnessed Louis’s death around the same time Vanitas and Misha were saved by Luna; bonus card features Noé in the same outfit as on the day of Louis’s death together with Vanitas dressed in his lab clothes. 1881 or 1882 is a possible year for Louis’s death and salvation of Vanitas and Misha. In this scenario Luna dies later than Louis.

(9, 46, 51, * bonus card)

1887 — possible start of construction of the Tower of the Sun (in reality, the construction of the Eiffel Tower started on 28 January 1887).

~ 1887-1888 — Astolfo and Roland have a conflict.

(59)

UNKNOWN MOMENT (after 1702?) BEFORE 1888 — Veronica and Loki, along with Machina, become Beastias, and Antoine enters the Senate. How old are Veronica, Antione and Loki?

UNKNOWN MOMENT (not earlier than 12 years?*) BEFORE 1888 — “death” of Faustina at the hands of her Beasts and Rusven. Luka replaces her on the throne, but the Senate controls him. Strangely, he isn’t even officially presented yet. It’s unknown how old he was when he assumed his current position, but it’s unlikely that the Senate and Beastias would “kill” the Queen without choosing a suitable successor first.

*Alternatively, it could happen earlier, if Loki, Luca’s older brother, was supposed to inherit the throne prior to becoming a cursebearer as well, but was replaced with Luca. But this is a pure speculation.

(38, 13)

UNKNOWN MOMENT BEFORE 1874 — Archivists disappear. It’s unknown whether there are any living Archivists other than Machina and Noé in the present. It’s also unknown why Noe thinks about blood when he thinks about his clan.

(57)

UNKNOWN MOMENT BETWEEN 1871-1888 — Vanitas meets Teacher, or Saint—Germain, who at that time had a different appearance. Were Luna alive at that moment?

(55)

UNKNOWN MOMENT BEFORE 1888 — Machina becomes patron of the dhampires and creates her network of information brokers.

(62)

~ 1888 (before current events) — Astolfo and Roland become Paladins. // 6 month before — Teacher goes somewhere. // 1 month before — Jeanne awakens from her sleep.

(13, 4)

1888 — Teacher asks Noé to witness the story of the Book of Vanitas via correspondence. Current events begin.

(1, 52)

Possible future event — The Exposition Universelle of 1889, which was held in Paris, 5 May to 31 October. The Tower of Sun (instead of Eiffel Tower in VnC universe) was created for this fair. However, at least some of the buildings were ruined.

(44, 20.5, 46, 55)

That’s it for now! I think I will update this post in future when we have enough new information to define unclear dates and add new details and whatnot~

[feralrabidcrow]

How Old I Think The Mercs Are

This is more so just for my own reference, also some bonus characters. These are their ages in 1968.

Scout: 22

"The Naked and the Dead" takes place in 1972. In this issue, Spy reveals that Scout was conceived 27 years ago, making him 26/27. I know a lot of people take this at face value to mean Scout is exactly 27 but it does take 9 months to make a baby. Subtract 4 years, we get 22 in 1968.

Soldier: 47

This would make him about 18 around the start of World War 2, which I feel works well considering what the man is all about. I also imagine he claims to be born on the 4th of July, but it's more than a bit doubtful if he's telling the truth.

Pyro: 32

I don't have any evidence or argument for this one, it's just based on vibes

Demoman: 38

Once again, no real evidence or arguments for this one, based purely on vibes

Heavy: 45 Zhanna: 39 Bronislava: 35 Yana: 31

This is where I get a bit insane. Heavy and his family were sent to the gulag in 1941. Using the photo from "A Cold Day in Hell", I estimate Heavy in this photo to be maybe 18, Zhanna 12, Bronislava 8, and Yana 4. I also don't know how children look like at different ages at all so maybe I'm way off but those are my estimates.

Engineer: 42

It does take a long time to get a PhD, even more time to get 11, but knowing Engineer he could probably grind through them in no time. It's also stated that he spent 10 years in the Texas oilfields, so between that and the PhDs he isn't exactly young anymore, but not super old either.

Medic: 46/47

I know a lot of people headcanon Medic to be in his 50s or later, but this number is based purely on the very elaborate backstory I have for him. Besides, by the time we get to 1972, the time of "The Naked and the Dead", he would be 50.

Sniper: 26

New Zealand sunk 40 years ago in the times of the comics, and 10 years later Sniper's father tries to escape in a rocket, only for baby Sniper to get in the rocket instead and crash land in Australia. This makes Sniper 30 in the comics, and thus, 26 in 1968.

Spy: 48

Spy states he was young and foolish when he dropped a sex bomb on Scout's mother, so I think he was about 25 when Scout was conceived. Leaving him at 48 in 1968.

Miss Pauling: 24

I imagine she's only a bit older than Scout, but she has worked for the Administrator a long time, since she was rather young.

[loveyhoons]

I’LL SAVE YOU ૮ ․ ․ ྀིა | p.sh

pairing: park sunghoon x f! reader

genre: non idol au! childhood friends to to implied lovers! reunited after a long time type of scenario!

synopsis: when y/n gets unexpectedly saved by one of the country’s national treasures in the most popular live annual dating show

word count: 1.9k words

warnings: none

author’s note: hi hello! this is my first short written on here, please bear with me!! i wrote aus & short stories before but never published them on tumblr, enjoy :)

ps. this is loosely based off of a scene from the thai drama called ready set love. i have been hooked on that show ever since i finished it. who knows maybe i’ll turn this into a fic with multiple chapters, we will see!!

Y/N sat in the yellow chair, facing the large mirror in front of her.

She glanced at the wooden box hooked onto the mirror, peeking inside to find a pair of earbuds. Y/N grabbed the earbuds and took in a deep breath, unsure of what to say once the “lucky” guy walked in through the other side of the room.

Y/N was at her limit to say the least. She, in just one day, already embarrassed herself in front of one of the men participants, get a call from her aunt saying her younger sister was in the emergency room, and almost lose the last round in the first game.

Out of pure luck, Y/N and other contestants were given a chance to go to the second round. She needed to try her best in order to secure a spot- after all if the guy who chooses her does not save her, she is doomed.

It did not help that this entire game show Y/N was competing in was broadcasted on national television. Everyone, as in everyone in the entire country, was watching the show at the present time.

After the country faced a deadly pandemic in the 1970s, the men population started to decline rapidly. The pandemic seemed to only affect the men population while the women population withheld the illness and later deemed themselves immune.

The amount of men started to become scarce, leaving them to become “national treasures” of the country. With women barely giving birth to a baby boy and the numbers growing worse, men were then placed inside a private area called “The House”.

Men were never allowed to see the world outside “The House” and stay within the walls. With only 200 men remaining in the past 10 years, the government and the elite decided to create the annual game show called Ready Set Love.

Every year, 50 contestants are chosen to woo over the 5 most popular men of the “House”. Through each round, contestants are asked to play games whether it be through a team or alone. After each round, there can be only one winning team and whoever loses will be sent home immediately.

This year was different for the game show; the rules were changed in order to make things more “fair” and for everyone to have a chance to participate.

10 lucky participants who were not of the elite class were given a chance to win a spot on the game show as a contestant. Usually, chosen contestants would be those who were born into a rich family or have a high status within the country. But now, 10 lucky women were able to have the chance to try and also win.

And that’s exactly what happened to Y/N. With her younger sister buying at least 10+ cartons of milk every week at the convenience store, she got lucky and was able to secure her sister the 50th spot as a contestant.

Y/N, to say the least, was hesitant. She thought to just decline the offer and just ignore the results of the lottery. Except, the cash prize was huge. Bigger than she’d ever imagine. And that money can be used to help pay for her sister’s medical bills and expenses.

Now, Y/N is nervously sitting in her chair, waiting for someone to walk in. She bit her nails a little, feeling nervous about the outcome.

All she wanted was just to win, grab the cash prize, and nurse her sister back to health.

It was at least 20 minutes since Y/N sat in her chair. So far no one showed up, leaving her to walk around in circles in the room, scared.

What if the guy she needed to woo in just 5 minutes will never show up?

“Does Y/N not know there’s multiple rounds of this minigame?” One of the announcers raised her eyebrow, looking at the screen. “Seems like she’ll be chosen in the last round.”

The current mini game consisted of the 5 men picking a random room to walk into. The chosen participant would sit on the other side, waiting to start a conversation with them. The pair has 5 minutes to interact as the contestant needs to woo the man. If the man thinks that the contestant is fit to move into the next round, he will then do a little dance in front of the mirror and say, “I save you.”

“I guess not, but look who’s about to walk in!” said the other announcer, pointing towards the right corner of the room.

Sunghoon opened the door, walking straight into the right side of the room. Closing the door quietly behind him, he walked towards the wooden box and grabbed the pair of earbuds, stretching his arms a little.

He snickered to himself, already over with this mini game, ready to go home.

The first 2 rounds of the mini game was an automatic fail.

The first girl he chose pretended to be someone she was not. He could sense she only wanted to fit his needs and not put herself first in certain situations, and Sunghoon did not like that.

The second girl just giggled uncontrollably and ended up passing out. Sunghoon was confused and just hoped she was okay. She must have been a bit too excited, he thought to himself.

Y/N saw the mystery man take a seat on the other side, bewildered by his sudden entrance. She then took a seat, fixing her hair and her posture. As she settled down on her chair, she realized who was right in front of her.

“Your 5 Minutes start now, good look girls.” The intercom through the room spoke.

As the intercom was turned off and the 5 minutes started, Y/N snapped her fingers and pointed towards the mirror, “Oh, it’s-”

“It's you again?” Sunghoon grunted. He leaned back into his chair, rubbing his chin. “Are you stalking me or something?”

“Hey, you picked this room, okay? Did I ask you to pick this room?” Y/N said in annoyance, fed up with Sunghoon’s question.

Sunghoon reached into the pocket of his jacket and brought out his phone. He put an image on the middle of the mirror and pointed towards it. “Do you know what that is?”

On the mirror, a picture of a figure was placed in the middle. Y/N sighed, “It’s a person.”

Sunghoon then pulled up another image from his phone and asked another question. “About this?”

“It’s also a person.” Y/N replied, unaware of the point Sunghoon was trying to make.

Sunghoon put his phone away, shocked by Y/N’s responses.

“You see that the first image is the symbol for men, the second is for women. You walked into the men’s restroom earlier.”

Y/N gulped. She blinked her eyes rapidly, feeling even more embarrassed than the first time she ran into Sunghoon.

“Where I live we don’t have those signs. I apologize again and I’m not a stalker.”

The silence deafened between the both.

Sunghoon crossed his arms, not batting an eye towards Y/N.

He already knew what to do at the end of the 5 minutes: he was already ready to tell her she would leave and not get through this round.

Y/N was stumped. She already messed up the first time and what more now?

“Sunghoon, listen, I need to win.”

“Okay and? Doesn’t everyone?” Sunghoon replied. He glanced towards the other side of the room, looking at Y/N.

“I need to get into “The House”, it’s the only way I can survive right now.”

“Listen to me,” Sunghoon leaned in a little, shaking his head. “You don’t want that, trust me.”

Sunghoon hated to admit to himself but he envied the women who lived in the outside world. He wanted to know how it felt like to actually be outside and not held in captivity. If only the contestants knew how lonely it was within those metal walls.

Y/N bit her lip, holding back her tears and raised her voice. “You don’t know how privileged you are. You don’t know how life is for me right now. You don’t know.”

Sunghoon stayed silent. He was unsure of what to say. He never saw someone cry in front of him, let alone a girl. A girl pleading for him to help her.

Y/N wiped a tear off her face and looked up to Sunghoon. “I’ll just leave. I already know your answer if that’s the case.”

Removing her pink sash with the number 50 decorated on it, Y/N sniffled a little. She looked at it in despair, setting it down on the chair.

Sunghoon looked at her, in silence. As Y/N removed the sash, a black thread necklace was brought out from beneath her shirt, noticeable.

Taken aback, Sunghoon looked at the necklace that adorned half an emblem on it. He blinked his eyes rapidly, shocked by what he was seeing.

It couldn’t be.

Y/N was the young girl he’s been looking for ever since the government officials found him and captured him. She was the one who saved him for a bit, hiding him in her secret hideout away from the city when they were kids.

She was the girl who might be able to save him from his destined faith.

“Y/N wait,” Sunghoon stood up.

Y/N ignored Sunghoon’s request, removing her airbuds and placing them back into the wooden box.

Sunghoon walked towards the door and ran towards the middle of the game room. He walked straight into Y/N’s side of the room.

Opening the door, Y/N looked at him in confusion.

“Sunghoon-”

“The 5 minutes is now over, please give your answer.” The intercom spoke.

Sunghoon let out a little cough, regretting what he was about to do. He did the little dance, feeling like his life was already crumbling before his eyes. He swore he never was going to give any of these contestants a chance but now Y/N was the lucky one in his eyes.

After Sunghoon finished his little dance, he pointed towards Y/N and gulped. “I save you.”

Y/N looked to him in confusion. She stood there quietly, shocked by Sunghoon’s actions. She thought he was going to let her lose but why? Why did he let her go through to the next round?

“Sunghoon, what is the meaning of this?” Y/N asked.

“Don’t question it. But please Y/N, try and win.” Sunghoon walked closer to Y/N and spoke softly. “You’re my only hope of getting out of here.”

Y/N looked up to Sunghoon as his facial expression became soft and calm. It was as if the person who he was just now, left, vacant in his spot,

The two stood there face to face, basking in each other’s presence. Y/N thought about her own reasons to why she was there. She nodded her head, in response to Sunghoon’s words.

It was only then the intercom would then announce for the contestants to go back to the main room and for the 5 men to go back into their waiting room.

As Y/N parted ways with Sunghoon, she was curious to why he had a sudden change of heart. It made her question if this game show had a deeper meaning to it, deeper than just trying to woo a man and win a date with him each round.

© loveyhoons , 2024

landing page | masterlist

[gabbbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy]

Dagda Crom Cruach headcanons(REMADE)

HCS BELOW!!

Headcanon Voice: Edgar the Computer (Electric Dreams) (Skip to 9:15)

Age: 152 (76 years old in human years, mentally in his thirties)

Any Prns, he Usually uses he/him, but anything is good

-Dagda is an accidental muse. When Agriculture began to pop off in the 1800s, Dagda Crom Cruach was born as the physical embodiment of the sorrows and fears the average farmer has. Farmers nationwide have reports of experiencing nightmares about a weird scarecrow doing unruly acts at their barnhouses—such as eating and killing crops, and livestock. What’s worse? It’s always déjà rêvé. Implying that Dagda has some sort of connection to the real world as well, being able to simulate damages in both the dream, and real world.

-and by “accidental”…Way back in 1908, when the Astral Circle was still fresh out the oven, Zoth and Chaugnar had a little mishap while attempting to summon a powerful, outer god (at Yan Luo’s order) and ended up summoning. This little jackass scarecrow with little to no idea what’s going on. They couldn’t exile him due to his erratic, and oddly helpful nature. They just gave up, and decided to keep him around, given how they needed a few extra helping hands around the circle.

-Shortest Nightmare of the batch, standing tall at exactly 4’5. (134cm). He weighs around 30-50 ibs, making him slightly heavier than the average Scarecrow.

-Basically the contrary to his human counterpart (Alf); Loud, energetic, cheerful, hyper, insufferable, reckless. And probably a psychopath to put salt on the wound.

-He only ever gets serious when something really bad happens. It’s a considerably worse sight to behold than his usual shenanigans.

-Dagda wields a comically large Scythe as a weapon. He doesn’t carry it around willy nilly, but rather only uses it either during his work as a soul scarecrow, to make himself appear more threatening to the spirits—in the human realm, to “harvest” (steal) crops and livestock from the real world—or for actual combat, which. DAMNNN! The scythe is twice his size, mind you, and is probably heavy as hell…take what you will from that alone.

-When not roaming around and terrorizing farmers in the mortal world, he scares off stray souls that trespass in the Nightmare Realm…It’s not very affective as a job, in comparison to everyone else in the Astral Circle, but it’s something!

-Has only a stick holding him up, and is connected to his body VIA rope. acting as a singular wooden leg that he uses to hop around. The rope used to tie him onto the stick has an extended end, which can move on its own, acting as a tail. It wags when he’s excited.

-He has many pet crows! But they aren’t allowed in the astral circle for…many reasons. Mainly pertaining to incidents regarding said crows, and his colleagues. (Specifically Xezbet, Ishtar, Shub, and Izanami.)

-Speaking of him and Izanami Yomi: Izanami, after moving in (est. 1949) didn’t acknowledge Dagda’s existence until around a week later, during said week, she simply assumed Dagda was a doll of sorts, and would just keep him around with other dolls that she had (i hc her to be a doll collector, outside of her job as a face deformer). Many complaints were filed the day she discovered that her new ‘ragdoll’ was sentient, real nightmare.

-(inspired by @core-bagg‘s hc), Dagda is the “punching bag” or “stress doll” of the Astral Circle, As painful and burdening as it sounds, Dagda really doesn’t care. In fact, he actually enjoys it quite a bit. He has a rather abnormal reaction to Pain, which causes him to crave it rather than the inverse (cough cough masochist cough). Examples are, but not limited to:

Abducius, Barbatos, and Exael will occasionally use him as a sort of “test dummy/target” for their weaponry and such before actually utilizing it in their respective works. They always remember to stitch him back up together afterwards…

In terms of his relationship with the Nightmare Clown, he lost against him in every single one of their games together, and considering what he does to his victims…(minus the eating part obv)…yep. You can tell Dagda likes him a lot.

Izanami CAN AND COULD use Dagda as a sort of mannequin to practice her deforming skills on…but she doesn’t have the guts to, considering his odd resemblance to one of her favorite things. (dolls), she still hasn’t gotten over it.

Same goes for Teutates, but it’s a no-go for both parties. Teutates finds the fact that Dagda’s just rags and stuffing boring, and wants to focus on annihilating more organic things, and Dagda—despite being a sucker for pain—doesn’t want TOO many of his seams torn..

-His body can generate heat, as well as, without any assistance, catch on fire. This headcanon is based on the tradition of setting Scarecrows on fire to banish ill fortune. He’d do this to either garner attention, or scare off even more souls.

-Pertaining to the last headcanon, Dagda is also a Pyromaniac. He nearly made the Astral Circle go skadoosh because he snuck in during a ritual and started fucking around with candles n stuff. This is why Zoth and Chaugnar don’t like him.

-Arsonist behavior and all aside, in terms of his body generating heat, he ignites a medium-sized, non-spreading fire inside of him, specifically in his stomach area, which heats his body up. He does this a lot during the winter/cold days in the Astral Realm. He lets those without heat snuggle up to him. He’s just a doll <3 (this doesn’t burn or damage him in any way)

-Dagda’s innards are a blend between cotton (the type used in plushies specifically), hay/straw (same material used for scarecrows, obviously), and ash.

-His diet consists of raw Vegetables and meat. Specifically fresh, and stolen out from farms. His favorite foods are Candy Apples and Donuts, which he constantly gets told off by other Nightmares for eating. Is stealing these sweets risky? Yes. Does he care? No. Yan Luo does + will probably smack him upside the head for it, but he could give any less of a damn.

-Considering his “diet”, many are left wondering: ‘how does he digest food?’ And it’s simple. With the fact he can set moderate, non-damaging fires off inside of his body, he simply burns everything he ate inside of him, like a little cremation device, until it’s nothing but ash. The remaining ash just stays there until it’s able to be used once more.

-He doesn’t have any vital organs, other than lungs. These aren’t affected by his internal fireplace, and are basically just. There. For some reason. (I needed to make an excuse for the “breathing” in his idle animation)

-Dagda also takes orders/does chores for Yan Luo aside from his assigned duties; such as doing errands, gathering materials and whatnot. He doesn’t get assigned them too much considering how easily he gets distracted, and will probably go fuck off and do something else if he gets bored/sees something else to do.

-May or may not be related to Orcus, possibly a cousin, or long lost brother. Neither parties have realized this, but it’s definitely been the topic of discussion in the Astral Circle.

-Semi-nocturnal + usually goes to sleep @ what would be around 12PM, and usually wakes up at like. 7PM or an hour earlier. When he sleeps, he goes limp, and his eyes basically go hollow, causing him to look like a corpse, or a doll. He’d either sleep slumped over on the floor, or standing up, in Scarecrow position. He’s a deep sleeper.

-Has a strange obsession with Anthropology, and the concept of Mortality, and how the Mortals (Real world people/humans) go on about their day, their lives, motives, their mere existence thrills him, in an almost sick way—Considering his job being to deal with the damned souls of said mortals. He’d sometimes even smuggle in some souls just to interrogate them on their past lives as humans, just for some sick kicks.

-Met his human counterpart, Alf Cappuccin, once in a dream. He Tormented him + made him super late for a court hearing (and probably also made him have an identity crisis). He leaves little signs and objects around for Alf and his wife to see, just to fuck with them a bit from time to time.

-Dagda can communicate with dolls and toys, considering he…technically is one, to some degree… (he has long, extensive, vulgar arguments with the other mfs in Izanami’s doll collection. The Beef goes insane)

-His relationship with a certain Neighbor (Xezbet) Isn’t too good…Considering how his job as a Soul Scarecrow was meant to drive Souls away….and how Xezbet, a Soul Eater, eats souls…it ends up having the Souls get away, and Xezbet to get angry that Dagda let his lunch go to waste…they’ll probably warm up to eachother somehow…probably…

-Dagda has met Henry before. He bit his finger and gave him Formidophobia :[

-An absolute sucker for physical affection. Despite being a Scarecrow—something made to stand around senselessly with no purpose other than to be feared, He longs touch, any kind. Praise? Belittlement? Doesn’t matter. He’s like a lovesick puppy. Mindlessly devoting himself to anything and anyone who even slightly thinks higher (or lower, he doesn’t care) of him.

-The rope slung around his shoulders/neck area can be used for many things, It can…

be adjusted and worn like a tie (formally), he’d probably do this to mock humans and their fashion.

He can take it off and use it as a lasso (rarely) to catch things…he probably learned this from eavesdropping on farmers worldwide, during his time on the mortal realm

he can tighten it up and use it as a harness to hang and spy from above, except whenever he does do this, he looks like a sagging corpse. Not a very pleasant sight.

…a leash. Mhm. I’ll leave you at that.

-Regarding the Tie, Leash and “Harness” parts. Yes, this does suffocate and hurt him. Does he care? No. Does this pain stop him from doing this? Absolutely not. Lil bro does not care, worse has happened to him

[jisforjudi2]

THE FAITHFUL SECRETARY

Chicago Tribune

UPDATED: August 10, 2021 at 12:23 a.m.

Before the women’s movement, back when Father knew best and network TV made room for Daddy, when Mary Tyler Moore was Laura Petrie, not Mary Richards, actress Barbara Hale was playing a single working woman on TV.

Hale, now 71, remembers what appealed to her about the role of Della Street, secretary to lawyer Perry Mason on the series that was based on the mysteries by Erle Stanley Gardner.

“When we started (in 1956), it was the beginning of women not working at home. I liked that she was not married. My husband didn’t have to see me every week married to another man, and our children didn’t have to see me mothering other children.

“When (my son) Billy was in the 1st grade, we went to school for the first parent meeting, and on his desk were little projects he’d made-pictures of Daddy and Mommy and his sister and his animals. And underneath my picture-I wish I had it now, but the teacher kept it-he’d written in inch-high block letters, `This is my mom. I love her. She is a secretary.”‘

On Friday, the latest Perry Mason two-hour movie, “The Case of the Telltale Talk Show Host,” will air on NBC, one of seven productions that will carry the courtroom stalwart and his unflappable Girl Friday into 1994.

“I guess I was just meant to be a secretary who doesn’t take shorthand,” she quips. “My assistant wants you to know I’m a lousy typist too-33 words a minute!”

The Emmy award-winning actress is a Hollywood survivor-going into her second half-century in a profession she never dreamed of pursuing. A veteran of the old studio system and of television’s infancy, her co-stars in those early years were household names-Sinatra and Cagney and Stewart and Mitchum-when she was the ingenue.

RKO Studios was her “paid education,” as she puts it, her training ground. She met her husband, actor Bill Williams (who died several months ago), over coffee at the studio commissary.

Today, she still offers ample evidence of the effervescent beauty she was in the ’40s and ’50s-and even earlier, in Rockford High School, when her buddies entered her in a May Queen contest and she won. “I still know them, dear, and we 15 get together every three years. It takes three years to get over the three days we spend together!”

Her career seems to have evolved from being on the right Chicago street corner at the right time.

The daughter of a Rockford horticulturist and a homemaker, Hale (born in DeKalb) was studying at the Chicago Academy of Fine Arts, living at the Harriet M. McCormick branch of the YWCA and planning a career as a commercial illustrator and portraitist.

One day, as school let out for the summer, she was standing at the corner near the Drake Hotel with a girlfriend who’d come to town for a couple of weeks to look for modeling work. While they were waiting for the bus taking them to the North Side, a car drove up and someone tossed a card at them. It referred them to a modeling agency.

“A couple of weeks later, I went to see my buddies, and I told one of them the story about the card,” she recalls.

“She said, `Barb, you’re kidding! I was sitting in the little coffee shop at work this morning, and a lady came in and sat next to me, because it was the only seat left. She was pouting. I asked if she had a problem, and she said, “Yes, darn it. I have a model agency and I saw this kid on a corner, in a red coat, and can’t track her down. She’s exactly what one of our ad agencies is looking for.” Barb, what coat did you have on that day?

“I said, `My red coat-it’s the only coat I have.’ And she said, `Barb, I think that card was meant for you.”‘

It was. Hale went in to the Seaman Agency, and stopped Connie Seaman in her tracks. “She said, `Oh, my God-honey, don’t move! Al, get over here quick!’ Al came in and said, `It is her! Let’s see-we’ll shape her eyebrows, put on a little more lipstick, pull her hair back … ‘ and I said, `Just a minute, sir-what are we talking about?”‘

Hale was “a green 19” when she began fashion modeling, and after about a year and a half, RKO offered her a six-month tryout. The day after she arrived in Los Angeles, she visited the studio and its casting director, Dick Stockton.

“As I was shaking hands with him, the phone rang. He took the call, and as he listened, he started looking at me. `Yeah, yeah, yeah, just a minute.’ He turned to me and asked, `Honey, can you say a line?’ I said, `I don’t know.’ He said into the phone, `There’s a kid in the office right now. I think she’ll work. I’ll send her right over.’ He told his assistant, `Take her to wardrobe, take her to makeup, take her to Stage 6. One of the kids is sick. We’ve got to have a girl there immediately.’

“It hit every paper the next day. Cinderella story. First day on the lot, she gets-of course they said a starring part. I had one line, but you know about those things.”

Apart from that walk-on, in “Gildersleeve’s Bad Day,” she made her debut in 1944 in “Higher and Higher,” opposite Frank Sinatra.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, Ginger Rogers and Jane Russell were all at RKO then. So was Burr-who would be her TV series co-star about a dozen years later.

Hale studied dancing and singing at the studio. She began to appear on screen regularly-four movies in 1944, two in 1945-and eventually won leads in such movies as “The Boy With Green Hair,” “The Window,” “Jolson Sings Again” and “The Jackpot,” performing even while pregnant.

“I told Billy (her son, actor William Katt, who starred in the television series “The Greatest American Hero”) he should put on his resume that he was in `The Jackpot’ and `Lorna Doone,’ and he said, `Mother, I wasn’t,’ and I told him, `Oh, yes, you were!”‘

She continued her movie career and was a mainstay of television dramas until 1956, when a producer offered her the Della Street part in the pilot of what turned out to be a 9 1/2-year run. Hale went on to win an Emmy for best dramatic actress for the role in 1959.

“We did 36 shows that first year,” she says. “And we’re still doing it!”

She says that Della “was-and still is, to a great degree-a woman who knew what everybody was thinking. She was informed, and very observant of everything that went on. That was my challenge as an actress-to be a necessary part of the office without being too aggressive. Della was quietly overpowering: She knew when to speak and when to keep her mouth closed.”

Hale sees Della as having remained constant, to an extent. Her task is basically the same. But there have been some subtle emotional changes.

“I think she’s a little more at home, relaxed, showing her knowledge not only of the case, but also of her boss. In the early days, it was all business. Today there’s more of a camaraderie between them, a little more humor and more sensitivity to each other, which comes with years of being side by side.

“She’s trying to see that he stays healthy,” she says. “She’s taking him off coffee.

After nearly 300 episodes, “Perry Mason” folded in 1966.

In the mid-1970s, the show returned briefly with other actors and faded quickly. During the ’70s and early ’80s, Hale worked sporadically. She was in the original “Airport” in 1970, and appeared opposite her son in a 1978 surfing movie, “Big Wednesday.”

In 1985, producer Dean Hargrove asked her what she thought of the idea of a “Perry Mason” reunion show. She told him, “it would be divine, but we are 25 or 30 years older than we were then.” He said the intention was to use them as they were and to bring in a few new young actors to replace cast members William Talman, Ray Collins and William Hopper, who had died.

“Dean said, `There’s a young blond kid in town. I want to talk to him, not his agent. He’s done a series-“The Greatest American Hero.” But I can’t reach him.’

“I said, `Oh, well, that young man is in Kansas City doing “The Music Man” right now, and I can get you in touch with him if you want.’ And Dean asked, `You know him?’ I said, `Dean, I changed that boy’s diapers!’ Billy played in the first nine (Perry Mason) movies, then went on to another series of his own.”

“Perry Mason Returns” in 1985 was a Nielsen triumph, and with Perry stepping down from a judgeship to defend Della against murder charges in the first episode. From then on, the Mason bunch have visited America’s living rooms every few months.

After nearly four decades, Hale says the role of Della still offers unexpected moments.

“This week, at the end of the show, very quietly and very surprisingly, Perry plants one on Della,” Hale says. “It’s a first!”

Originally Published: May 16, 1993 at 1:00 a.m.

www.chicagotribune.com/1993/05/16/the-faithful-secretary/

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 17

only nearly 50% of the way through this book and we’re already on day four. and the description that ‘Hot Sauce draws her gun’ on this day is very ominous

‘That fucking shuttle’ Palamedes i am not as smart as you, i am both very concerned and totally clueless about what Palamedes realised about the shuttle. i guess my main theories are Pyrrha has either been taken/went willingly for some unknown reason to the Emperor’s shuttle, or she’s been taken into BoE custody for some reason??

from We Suffer’s perspective i guess it makes sense that she wants Nona to be Harrow, because despite their overall perspective on necromancy, having a Lyctor who could actually help them fight against the Houses could be incredibly helpful for BoE. at least i hope its that because Harrow did help kill an awful lot of planets in the last book, and i imagine some of BoE might want revenge

ohhhhmfg Pal and Cam’s situation is so tragic. Palamedes has technically survived but from his perspective he’s doing exactly what he rejected so firmly in GtN, killing her. this is just cruel 

and for all my theorising about Nona i didn’t consider what Pal suggests here, that Nona’s some kind of full soul merger of Harrow and Gideon. for starters i think its unlikely, given Nona has her similarities but is very different in many unique ways to both of them. and on a more personal level i just hope thats not the case because i like my character’s souls unmerged please and thank you

i wonder if Nona’s going to be able to do something about the RB eventually, given she seems to be able to understand it. also describing it as ‘low[ing] sadly, like a cow’ feels like a very pointed comparison given John apparently killed a whole bunch of cows a couple chapters ago. i mean i have no clue what the fuck it could mean or why but it feels significant 

i’m still very intrigued as to whose side the Angel is on. based on her story here she’s clearly not associated with the Houses, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s with BoE either. she’s kind to Nona and a good teacher to the kids seemingly but i still think she’s suspicious and don’t fully trust her 

the absolute irony of John’s motivations apparently being to save the Earth and everyone from climate change, only to years later be killing planets and using them for mining 

‘An interesting group, your family’ ohhh shit, first Hot Sauce and now the Angel seem to be taking note of the strangeness of Nona’s situation. and i’m curious whats up with Hot Sauce and the Angel’s relationship, what with her having already told Hot Sauce the survival advice she gives the rest, and Hot Sauce being so determined to look out for her. i wonder if Hot Sauce has confided in the Angel about Nona’s cut not healing, and thats why they seem suspicious of Nona’s family here

oooh is Nona’s drawing that seems to disturb the Angel an awful lot her drawing her dreams, of Gideon maybe?

oh the kid’s plan and swearing this oath is going to go so so badly. i feel like there’s no way they’re not gonna find out Nona’s related to necromancy sooner rather than later

wtf Hot Sauce is very ruthlessly practical about Born in the Morning’s dads being ‘baggage’. its  hard to believe she’s roughly the same age as Jeannemary was in GtN. like don’t get me wrong, Jeannemary went through an awful lot but she and Isaac were also ‘annoying teens’ in the way Hot Sauce really hasn’t gotten to be 

[pastelavender88]

Sinbound- Chapter 11

Summary: It’s been a month since the events of the last chapter: Eddie and Buck are on the outs and Buck’s family is back in town; Something major happens to Y/n.

Warning: Talks of miscarriage.

Series Masterlist

It’s been a month since Eddie and I broke up. It was touch and go for a while. The night of the breakup I asked for 2 hours. It doesn’t take 2 hours to basically pick up your whole life. Alex and I took all our clothes and toiletries but we still had to come back and get the rest of our things. I decided it would be best to leave all the baby’s stuff there, but excluding that I still had a ton of things. Bobby and Athena served as the buffer between Eddie and I. Athena would text me to tell me that Bobby told her Eddie and Christopher would be out of the house from 12-4 pm and stuff like that. Eddie and I still haven’t spoken since that night even though he tried. He gave me a good 2 days before he was blowing up my cell and trying to talk and work things out, but I was serious when I meant Eddie and I were done. The betrayal still keeps me awake at night if I let my mind wander enough and the events starting on the night in question and the big blow up play in my head like a movie. Alex and I moved in with Buck for the time being while I figured out the next step in our lives. Buck was more than happy to welcome us and he’s been accommodating in any way he can. He’s been going with me to my doctor appointments, driving me around a lot since I’ve gotten a little bigger and lazier to do it myself, and even taking a parenting class with me. Even though I had Alex already a lot of things have changed in the last 12 years.  Speaking of all the things Buck is doing for me, Eddie is quite pissed at him because of it. Also, the fact that Buck is the one that told me about Eddie’s infidelity. So everything has been quite an adjustment. It was morning and Buck was off today so that meant family breakfast. Which was really more me cooking whatever I was craving and everyone being too lazy to complain or make anything else. Today was chicken, waffles, spicy syrup, bacon, eggs, and french toast. (Don’t judge but I craved this my whole pregnancy.) Buck came down from the room and sat at the table. The reason I call it the room is because technically it’s both Buck and I’s room. See Buck only has two rooms in his loft but the other room is Alex’s and it’s not exactly big enough to share. So Buck and I share the room in the sense that both of our things are there like clothes, shoes, jewelry, little things like that. Buck did buy a couch though, so that way he has something to sleep on. Right now Buck was trying to convince me to go with him and Alex to pick up his parents later. “They would love to see you. I mean it’s been over a year since they last saw you.” “Yeah and since then I got knocked up and then left a single mom. Again.” “True, but you look really cute pregnant and they haven’t seen this glow.” He said, as he pointed his fork at me. “That may be the case but seriously I’m not up for that yet.” Buck could tell my mood was becoming somber, so he let it go. “Alright. Did I tell you guys what happened yesterday at work? Some guy’s kids buried him in the sand and splashed water on him when a freak flash of lightning hit and turned the sand into glass. It was insane.” “Buck I’m trying to eat.” “Mom, that's actually really cool and mother nature at work. What did that guy say in that really old dinosaur movie ‘life always finds a way’. Life is science.” “Did she just call Jurassic Park a really old movie?” I asked Buck. I turned to Alex. “That movie came out the year I was born for your info.” “How do you think I feel? I’m older than you by two years.” Buck joked. The conversation kept flowing from there and eventually it was time to clean up and start the day. Since the break up with Eddie I haven’t really been writing much so my day usually centers around Buck and Alex. I felt like a 50’s housewife. After making sure everyone had everything they needed for their day I would tidy the house, wash dishes, do laundry. It was a feminist nightmare but I was so numb I didn’t really care. I’ve been seeing a therapist but it didn’t help as much as I thought it would. Most people describe therapy as this life-altering interaction but for me it felt like when you were called to the guidance counselor in school about bullying or something. Like I was put on the spot. Don’t get me wrong there was improvement but I just didn’t feel satisfied or “fixed” in a sense. We dived into my relationship issues a lot and I understand what Eddie was saying. The “relationship” that Buck and I had while Eddie and I were still together was emotional cheating, which proved my point. We were bad for each other. Eddie and I both rushed into this relationship after commitment issues on both sides, so we were destined for doom. Either way the pain inside of me from his affair with Ana wasn’t going away because I know that what I did didn’t warrant that. Instead of breaking it off or establishing clear boundaries, Eddie decided that cheating was the best route. So here I am feeling like less than a person over a toxic relationship we both should have some coming to an end. Buck’s POV Since Y/n didn’t want to come with me I was forced to suffer with my parents alone. It was worth it since Albert was there. “Uh, Albert, hey, check this out.” I showed Albert Y/n’s ultrasound picture. It was so cool to be a part of this process and I couldn’t help but show it off. “You brought more than takeout.” Albert replied, “Well, uh, Chimney didn't tell you?” “Yeah, that I've been gone less than a year and you're a father again? No.” God I hope my parents didn’t hear that. “Uh, no, not-not exactly.” “But that's a…” Albert started. “Baby. Buck...?” My mom was suddenly standing behind me. “Is there something you need to tell us? You're gonna be an uncle again!” My mom shouted as she jumped to conclusions. “Phillip! Maddie and Howard are gonna have another baby!” My mom yelled as she went to hug Chimney. “What?” Chim asked, confused. “That's fantastic! I had a feeling when you bought this house.” My dad replied. “I mean, it's a little soon to be pregnant again, but... Why not?!” Mom said. “This is very good news, Howard. Why didn't you tell us sooner? “ Chimney’s stepmom asked. “Uh, guys... Guys, we're... not pregnant.” He said. “You're not?” Mom asked. “No.” “Then who is?” Mom asked as she turned to me. “That’s what I was trying to say. Y/n is pregnant again. It’s a girl.” “You and Y/n are having another baby?” My dad asked. “No, mom is having a baby with Eddie.” Throughout all the confusion, everyone forgot Alex was sitting at the table on her tablet. “But, they're not together anymore so we're living with dad.” “Okay, let’s not deepdive into it. Give your mom some privacy.” When we got home it was time for a talk about privacy. “So Y/n and living with you while she’s pregnant with another man’s baby?” My dad asked. “And you’re going to help raise the baby?” “It's not like that. We’re not together, I’m just helping her while she figures a few things out. Also, if she wants of course I’ll help raise the baby but we haven’t thought that far ahead. We’re taking things day-by-day.” The way everyone except Maddie, Chimney, and Alex were looking at me I could tell they had a lot to say. “I think it's…” My mom started. “Here we go. “ I knew I was about to get an earful. “Great.” She finished. That shocked me. “Uh, yeah?” “You’re a wonderful father to Alex and I know if you need to be you’ll be a wonderful father to this little girl as well.” Dad replied. “Not only are you a good father but you’re a good man.” My mom said as she stepped towards me for a hug. I wrapped my arms around her. “Here. Dad, you want to see?” I said showing him the sonogram “Oh, absolutely.”  He said as he took the phone from me. “Phillip. You are going to allow this?” Howie’s dad asked. “It's not really for me to allow.” Dad replied. “A man cannot raise a child fathered by another man, it's unnatural.” Howie’s father reiterated. “Says the expert in child-rearing, huh? I would think you would relate to Buck's decision. Father them and let someone else raise them.” “Howie.” Albert explained. “Whoa, Chim. It's-it's okay.” I said. “A man who cannot control his family is not a man.” Howie’s dad added to already building tension. “Maybe a man who's too controlling forces his sons to hide from him in another country.” My dad fired back. “Okay, easy. Come on, Dad.” I said. “Children need to learn that actions have consequences.” “I'm sorry, but how is any of this your business?” my mom asked Howie’s dad. “He did announce it to everyone.” Albert’s mom said. ‘Well, that wasn't exactly my choice.” I said, making it clear. “It was a bad choice.” “My dad helping out my mom wasn’t a bad choice, you’re just mean.” Alex called out. “Alex. Honey, you can not talk to adults like that.” “See this is exactly what I am talking about. Your child has no manners and you plan to raise another?” “Oh, that's rich.” My dad replied yet again, kicking everything off. Everyone started to argue until due to a storm the lights went out.   “Buck, grab some candles, we got the doors”. Howie called me. As mom played with Jee and Alex, Maddie and I talked. “I think maybe Albert was right.” I said to Maddie. “Oh, I wouldn't say that out loud.” “Ever think about what it might've been like...?” “What?” “If Daniel had lived.” I asked her. “Yeah, sometimes.” “You?” Just then the lights came back on and everyone was relieved. “I think it would've been just like this.” Y/n’s POV (Think of this happening at the same time as Buck’s) I was sitting on the couch after cleaning when I heard a knock on the door. “Did you forget your key or something Buck?” I swung open the door and there stood Eddie. I crossed my arms and clenched my fists tight. The nerve he had to show up here. “What are you doing here Eddie?” “I’m here to talk to you. You haven’t spoken to me in a month. At least not without a third party being involved. I haven’t gone to any of your appointments since then.” “You barely went before so what’s the difference?” “Y/n, how long are we going to do this? Huh? Are we gonna be those parents that drag their kids through hell?” “Don’t do that. I can’t do this right now.” “So when are we going to do this? Talk things out?” “I don’t know Eddie. It’s only been a month.” “We need to talk about this.” “No. I need time. Time away from you. I’ll tell you when I’m ready to talk to you.” I went to shut the door on Eddie but he put his hand there to stop it. “I miss you Y/n. Christopher missed you.” “I miss Christopher too. He’s more than welcome over here, because you’re pissed with Buck you won’t let him over here.” Eddie was quiet. “Eddie, I want to move forward but I need to do it at my own pace. The way you’re behaving isn’t helping.  I mean I feel like you aren’t even sorry.” “I am sorry. I will always be sorry for what I did. Not only because I hurt you but because I destroyed everything we built when I did it. I’m so sorry Y/n.” “I hear you Eddie I do, but I still need time. Okay?” “Alright. I’ll go. I love you y/n.” I still loved Eddie but I didn’t know if I was in love with him anymore. “Goodbye, Eddie.” Time went on and eventually Buck came home. “Hey, where’s Alex?” “She’s spending the night at Maddie and Chim’s house.” “I thought the house wasn’t done and what clothes is she going to wear?” “Our daughter is a sneaky one. She put her clothes in my truck along with a sleeping bag. How am I supposed to say no to that?” “I’m sure it’s really easy but she’s got you wrapped around her finger.” “Yeah, she does.” Buck came and sat down beside me on the couch. “So it’s just the two of us tonight, what are we doing? “I was thinking of doing something a little risky…” “Oh really?” “Oh yeah.” “How risky we talking?” “Oh you know, I’m gonna change and slip into something a little more comfortable, and then…” “Then what?” “We’re gonna eat so much ice cream our guts explode and watch trashy reality tv.” “Now that’s what I’m talking about.” Buck said. We’d always had that joking relationship that could be borderline sexual but now that we actually live together the sexual part was definitely a no-no. “I’ll be back.” I went upstairs to change. “What kind of ice cream we doing tonight, Rocky road or fudge?” “Ooh, let’s do a rocky road tonight.” I started to change when I felt a warm sensation in my pants. I looked down at my now ruined pants and noticed blood. I carefully rushed down the stairs. Buck was facing away from me but heard me come down the stairs. “You changed already, that was fast.” He turned around and saw my expression. “What’s the matter?” “I’m bleeding.” I could tell Buck wasn’t catching on to what I was saying. “Like down there.” Buck became a panicked nervous mess. “Oh my god! Okay. Let me grab my shoes and my keys and we’ll throw you in the car.” Before I could say anything he darted off. He looked around the front door and then made his way into the living room. “Where are my shoes? Where are my keys?” “Buck calm down. Your keys are on the hook and your shoes are in the room. I’m gonna put on a pad and change, while I’m doing that, call Dr.Manning.” “Alright.” I went into the room changed and put on a pad in case of more bleeding. When I came back down, Buck was waiting on me. “Dr.Manning is going to meet us at the hospital.” “Okay.” We made our way downstairs and got into the car when I realized I forgot to call Eddie. I went to reach my phone and couldn’t find it. “Buck, can you call Eddie? I left my phone inside the loft.” “Yeah of course.” Buck called Eddie but it went straight to voicemail. “Hey Eddie, I’m taking Y/n to the hospital to see Dr.Manning. Call me back when you get this,” He hung up and turned towards me. “Are you okay? Are you in pain?” “No, I'm doing okay, just the bleeding.” I was trying to keep a leveled head but my mind was racing. It was going to places I didn’t want it to go. “You know when I was pregnant with Alex I had a scare kind of like this. I was in the hospital for 2 days. They said her heart rate was low and there was a chance I could lose her. What if I lose this baby Buck?” My tears were threatening to spill from my eyes. Buck grabbed my hand and caressed it.“Don’t think like that. We’re going to see Dr.Manning and she’s going to tell us that that beautiful baby girl of yours is okay and whatever is happening is probably normal, okay?” “Okay. Thanks Buck.” “Of course.” He said as he kissed my hand. Buck and I arrived at the hospital where Dr.Manning was waiting. She ushered us into the ultrasound room and began to take a sonogram. “Okay, let’s take a look.” She moved the wand around and I saw how she squinted at the screen. “Here’s the baby right here. Let’s hear this heartbeat.” She moved over and I heard her heartbeat. It sounded good or at least I think. “That’s a strong and healthy heart beat right there.” I let out a relieved breath. She moved the wand around more until she stopped at this big blob. “Okay, here’s the problem. You’re suffering from Placenta previa. It’s when the placenta completely or partially covers the opening of the uterus. How bad was the bleeding?” “If I was on my period I would say it’s a light flow.” “And are you still bleeding now.” “No, I don't feel anything.” “I’m gonna keep you here for the rest of the night and monitor everything. In the morning I’ll let you know whether or not you’ll be discharged. Let me just say since it’s your second child it’s more than likely gonna resolve itself. What’s your birthing plan?” “I planned on doing a vaginal birth.” “Okay. We’re going to do more appointments than usual and if this resolves itself we can go ahead with that plan. If not we’re going to have to do a c-section delivery. Okay?” “Alright.” “Dad is more than welcome to stay if he would like. I’m going to make sure a room is prepared and ready for you. Let me know if you need anything.” I didn’t feel like correcting her about Buck in any way. “Okay.” She departed the room and Buck and I sat there almost as if we were waiting on the other person to say something first.” “Do you want me to stay with you?” Buck said, breaking the silence. “Only if you’d like to.” “Of course I would. Do you want me to go home and get anything?” “No I’m okay. It’s just for the night right?” “Right.” Soon a nurse came and brought us to the room we would be staying in for the night and we got comfortable. Sometime throughout the night the anxiety left me and before I knew it I was asleep. I was awoken by a nurse and Dr. Manning coming in. Buck was already awake. “Good morning. How are you feeling?” “I’m fine. Just nervous to be honest.” “Well I have good news, we found nothing concerning while monitoring you over night so that means you can go home. We’ll be having more frequent visits but I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.” “That’s great thanks doc.” Buck replied. “Just doing my job, but this does mean a few things. No moderate or strenuous exercise, heavy lifting, standing for long periods of time and sadly no sexual intercourse or sexual activity that could lead to orgasm. At least until the baby is born.” I wanted to dig a hole so deep and crawl in it. “Any followup questions?” “Nope, I’m good. You got any, Y/n?” Buck replied with a grin. “She’s covered everything. Thanks, we’ll be out of your hair now.” Dr. Manning said her goodbyes to us, leaving alone to brew in the awkwardness. “No sex until the baby gets here. Well I guess there’s no point in you living with me anymore.” I believe that was Buck’s bad attempt at a joke. “Haha, so funny. Besides it’s mostly if the issue doesn’t resolve itself I think.” I don’t know why I answered like it was a serious possibility. “Let’s go. I’m hungry.” I quickly made my way out of the room in order to avoid talking about this any further.

[loadednachosao3]

Do you think Lalo was ever poor? Or it's a completely unrelatable person situation? Because for a rich kid he blends in very well.

it's an interesting idea... I personally have always figured the Salamancas were well-connected and rich by the time he was born, but... by my count, Hector was about 20 when Lalo was born. we can say that older Salamancas were already dealing drugs/in the cartel/from well-off families by then and it kept them comfortable until later when they became millionaires officially, but then again, in canon -- I know they don't digitally de-age, so this is a little unreliable, but let me cook -- Hector looked to be at least in his 40s-50s by the time the Eladio poolside scenes began. timelines are hard... whatever, work with me here.

we also know that the cartel didn't even start dealing the (more profitable) meth until after Gus joined up and convinced them to switch gears. they were dealing cocaine before, which, sure, the cartel would still be full of millionaires from that, but maybe their operation was smaller? less of it to go around?

so let's spin a yarn: if Lalo's family was poor until at least the age of 18 (when TD says he was shipped off to a "good school" in the US, which would require both visa and school money), what would that be like? I imagine his family was always involved with drugs in some form, be that using or dealing. users becoming dealers is not at all uncommon, after all.

so, little Lalo, not yet a cartel prince, family scraping by on drug money without being affiliated with any official organized criminal groups... he knows what it's like to want for more. knows exactly why, for example, Nacho joined up (and sees himself in him).

let's think. Lalo, maybe 15, dealing where he shouldn't because it's all he knows and he wants more money he can't get in his family's tiny little patch of unofficial "territory." business-smart even in those days -- little Lalo all holed up in the sparse libraries nearby, learning English just so he has more options to read about business and money and all that stuff.

the cartel in bcs was apparently built by Eladio and the Salamancas. maybe it was Eladio's family who was rich and well-connected, but the Salamancas who worked street-level as muscle and dealers. maybe Lalo is the reason. streetwise and book-smart kid running around, making schemes to muscle out the competition, catching the attention of Eladio's family, who had been dealing longer, more, still new, still without a huge grasp on the market, but they see potential with young Lalo Salamanca and his ruthless family.

maybe Lalo is the way he is because he NEEDED to be. smiling because you make friends and connections that way, hurting people because you get their money and (frightened) loyalty that way. going off to college a few years after his actions introduced his family to Eladio's. coming back to see that they're millionaires now. letting it get to his head because he was so instrumental in it. being resentful when Hector takes the lead and the credit. (you can stay at Casa Tranquila, tio. they have such good care!)

he doesn't want to go back to that early life of smoke-thick rooms and cigarette burns and drunk parents who would rent you out if it meant getting another hit. he doesn't ever want to feel what it's like to not be able to afford something ever again. to not get what he wants.

so what if Lalo isn't spoiled because he grew up a pampered cartel prince, but because he DIDN'T? because he thinks he deserves every penny he and his family have? because he's terrified of the idea of being destitute again? because if all it takes to be rich is a little ruthlessness, a little willingness to hurt people the way he was hurt, why should he ever try to act any other way?

but it comes out, his past, just a little, when he's playing poker with the guys, or chatting with a corner store clerk, or helping an abuela across the street. it comes out in the crinkle at the corners of his eyes, and his genuine laughter, and his relatable, friendly body language, everyone's friend, people pleaser, look at Lalo, he's so nice! you'd hardly even think he was born into the cartel (because he wasn't, because he never thought his life would turn out this way, because sometimes he wonders what it would be like if he had the chance to go back and rewrite history).

maybe this Lalo would understand why Nacho poisoned his uncle. maybe he'd see Manuel working hard for an honest life, and Nacho charmed by the cartel's dazzling facade, and empathize. maybe, if Nacho were to tell him about the blackmail, he wouldn't skin him alive. maybe he'd kiss him and tell him "I get it" and "I'm sorry" and maybe even "thank you." maybe he'd try to help Nacho get free, even if that meant sending him to Canada with his father and never, ever seeing him again. maybe that's the right thing to do.

maybe he doesn't want to do it, though, because he wants to keep getting what he wants. maybe he's selfish.

maybe that's okay.

WELL ANYWAY like I said, I tend to think of him as being born into wealth even without the cartel and being super spoiled because of that, but this certainly was fun to think of and ramble incoherently about! thanks, anon!

[marimayscarlett]

My dad is one year older than Schneider and for some reason it's lowkey interesting to me that Schneider's youngest kid is born in 2020?? Maybe because it's rare to see somebody in their 50s to have such a young kid, oh well haaaahaha

Hi 👋

I understand what you mean. My father is almost exactly one month younger than Richard, therefore younger than Schneider, but it still amazes me seeing Schneider with his young kids, because it's just not something you see every day. Then again, he met Ulrike later in life and these two have a somewhat significant age difference, so it doesn't surprise me that they wanted to start a family as soon as possible. I am beyond happy these two met and formed an adorable family with their boys, because from what I've seen (and what my mom shows me, since she is the ultimate Ulrike/Schneider shipper) , Ulrike and him have amazing chemistry ☺️ And age doesn't matter if the person is a loving and doting parent 😇

And because it's October, some Oktoberfest vibe-Ulrike and Schneide-pic to round this up seems fitting 💕

[affectiondeficitdisorder]

Stuff I Didn't Say...

...to men on online dating sites

by Ethlie Ann Vare

I’m in a pissy mood, so trust me when I tell you it could be worse. I have, at least, learned restraint of pen and tongue over the years. Okay, maybe not pen. Here are some interactions I didn’t have with men on Bumble and/or Hinge (the two dating apps where I can be found):

To the guy I politely texted “I enjoyed our chat, but I don’t see us as a match” after a phone call that revealed we were absolutely, undeniably not a match, and who texted back: "Well thanks for wasting my time….” Dude, we were on the phone together. You wasted the exact same amount of my time. Did that not occur to you?

To the 20-something who contacts me regularly, insisting that he’s older than the last time I told him he was too young for me: I am also older than the last time. The same amount older. Is there something in the Y chromosome that blinds people to equivalency? Does time only happen to men?

To the below-average-looking 60-year-old whose profile reads: “In an open marriage, NOT a sugar daddy…” what exactly are you offering, and to whom? Apparently neither the chance of a committed relationship nor the possibility a fun time is on the menu. Do you think your dick is magic?

To the male friends whom I know to be in relationships that I see on the apps: I’m not going to say anything to you or to your partner, because I don’t want to hurt her plus I don’t know your life. DADT (Don’t Ask Don’t Tell) is a thing and none of my business. But my first assumption — that you’re a liar and a cheat — is statistically probably true, and it will affect how I look at you going forward. 

To the guys who mark their politics as Moderate but pose with dead fish and live ammo, are unvaccinated and hate Joe Biden with a burning passion… sorry, but you’re not a Moderate. That’s not what “moderate” means. 

To the guy standing next to the Lamborghini, the Ferrari or the McLaren in hopes of — what, attracting a woman he can later complain is only interested in his money? … Sweetie, I can see that’s a public parking lot. If you want to persuade me that you own a fancy car, you have to take the picture in your own garage. 

To all the men who have a drink in their hand in Every. Single. Profile. Picture… you might be fine. All those glasses of alcohol might be a total coincidence. But if you ever want to go to a meeting or anything, you just let me know.

***

Below is the profile photo that Bumble‘s algorithm decided should lead my profile page. I think they like it because I’m wearing tight pants. I like it because it was unposed; I was caught being delighted by an unexpected disco ball. 

Closing note: I find the apps to be as frustrating as most women of a certain age do. Yes, men of my generation age-gate their matches to women my daughter-in-law’s age. Yes, the paradox of choice makes it hard to invest much time or energy into any one person. Yes, a huge percentage of the profiles are overseas scammers. (Hint: If the word “honest” or “honesty” appears more than once in his profile, he’s a fake.) Yes, people lie about their age, their height, their career and their marital status. But it’s still a fascinating amateur study in sociology. For one, it shows how the population in Southern California over age 50 is still mostly white, while the population under age 50 is anything but. That’s a big demographic shift. I also notice that there is a metric shitload of single men in their 40’s. You can’t even say it’s a Gen X or a Millennial thing, as it spans both generations. Men born in the 1970s are overrepresented, at least in this town at this time. What’s up with that?

Mostly, I wonder if dating apps are keeping us lonely by giving us the illusion of not being lonely. I can talk to men all day and all night, but I’m still sleeping with my dog. No shade on the dog; he’s a good boy. But virtual connection isn’t genuine connection, and maybe that’s why we get frustrated, and I get pissy. But I will try to keep my yap shut about it. My pen, not so much.

[valyrfia]

so rough summary of lestappen without dates because im not that knowledge

so born same year. 13 days apart, both libras

started karting, met there, famous interviews , the famous inchident,

max went to single seaters (? like f3 if im not mistaken, again dont really knowledged about the actual motor sport periods that they went through)

charles remained in karting longer (1?2? years)

max got into f3 then straight to f1 in 2016 so they kinda didnt have tangents till charles came to f1 in 2018

at first, like in charles' rookie year, they were like not really friends? but they were talking in interviews about their karting days and whatnot so they were acknowledging eachother but never more than 2 sentences in an interview or a quick chat in the paddock

now, 2019, whole another story

in 2019 charles got to ferrari so he was in a more competitive car (illegal but still competitive)

so they had some fights on the track

most notably, austria 2019, imo the moment lestappen actually started (well the inchident can also be considered a start but i think austria 2019 is more, hm, important? a spark formed there between them so)

so austria. austria would have been the race where charles would have gotten his first win in f1. the place he could prove he deserved the seat at ferrari. but it was already doomed when max made his appearance. i cant recall correctly what happened, and honestly i dont care who pushed off track who and who was in the right, all that matters is that charles was pissed and furious while looking so tempted to murder max on the podium.

charlie boy didnt even spared a glance at max when he was celebrating with champagne, on top of the world, he literally left stomping away.

the thing is, its funny how 2 grown man, who knew each other for such a long time, acted so childish, charles being so annoyed and max being so stubborn and not admitting that he could have done wrong

naturally, they unfollowed eachother on instagram. you know, like adults

but the real and actual hilarious part is that after the race, they both went back home (monaco), in the same plane, so you can guess that there was, aham, tension

but anyway, later that season, charles got his wins and max was getting whatever he could (2019, not a really good year for redbull but what can you do)

2 salty grown man who could hold grudges only like childhood acquaintances

this weird tension and rivalry got to a point where, when in the pandemic, when every driver was doing streams on twitch while sim racing (including these two), they got to play together at some point. the drivers were planning virtual races with eachother, and playing games with eachother. everyone got along and it was all fun. our 2 main characters werent exactly on speaking terms so in most cases they would ask lando to send eachother messages and memes (not frequently but we do know at some point they did ask lando to send stuff to the other)

in 2020 i actually dont remember anything well big happening between them

2021 of course was kinda busy for max because of the championship battle with lewis but if i remember correctly at some point charles praised max and called him talented and a part of his childhood and his rival. honestly i was busy that season, being more focused on the battle so i didnt follow charles and his interviews

now

now 2022 comes

the year of our lord, 2022

ferarri? a compromising car

redbull? reliability issues (at the start of the season)

mercedes? fucking terrible, was clearly not a contender

of course the fate made them two the main rivals of this season

so the battle started strong between lestappen, because what do you expect from 2 people who entire narration of their lives is that they are childhood rivals

charles won the first couple of races, at some point expanding his lead with 50 or something points ahead of max

it honestly looked like an truly iconic title fight, but fuck ferrari and their management of everything and so im not gonna talk about how much they screwed up and got me cursing them out every race. im not. ...

ok so notable lestappen 2022 moments

austria 2022. man everyone called the podium celebrating soft porn and i cant agree more. just. how

every podium they shared and every cooldown room and every Thursday media day they shared. they just delivered something. everytime they got together

oh and maxplain. it started simple really. max had some issues with the car and charles asked what happened after the race and thats how maxplaining was born.

they started to share their opinions on every aspect of the race (well mostly max, charles was content to just listening. which, slay, let your man nerd out)

they started to speak highly of each other so frequently, so much, every race, if they got the chance to talk about the other they would do it

they would joke about their childhood and about how they actually deeply disliked eachother , about how they grew up and started to replace that dislike with respect and understanding and sympathy.

i just cant put into words how interesting their relationship is, how interesting they develop still to this day

max talked about how they would be racing for another 10 15 year together

its so, poetic? took out straight out of a book

they are so iconic frfr.

ugh 2023 has been so lame without the weekly lestappen propaganda

so i cant wait for them to get to race again as they did in 2022

anywayyy hope this wasnt boring and long and lame, my apologies if it was, i just took my thoughts out from my brain and threw them here. i hope they have just a little coherence.

these two truly have more moments that i could have mentioned but i cant really remember. they have too many tbh

anyway yes. lestappen 🔛🔝

this is the most incredible answer to my plea anon, thank you so much.

i'm just getting into f1 so i knew some but i didn't know a lot but my jaw DROPPED. what do you mean they're only born 13 days apart, they grew up together not quite liking each other but also destined to forever be on the same path

i went and watched the austria 2019 and 2022 podiums and i cannot make this shit up literally typing it out just feels like fanfic, it feels poetic. the CONTRAST with their worst and best moment being at the same race? jesus

i was a believer before, but now i'm pious. you've fully converted me. with the sheer amount of history between them there was never going to be room for indifference. the idea of the other person being their only true equal god i eat that shit UP i fear these two are going to haunt my brain for a while

[mariacallous]

(JTA) — More than 80 years after one of Germany’s most prominent synagogues was destroyed on Kristallnacht, the Jewish community of Hamburg has taken ownership of the building’s site and is set to begin rebuilding it.

The site of the Bornplatz Synagogue, a neo-Romanesque building dedicated in 1906 that had a 1,200-seat sanctuary and was once the largest synagogue in northern Germany, was officially handed over to leaders of the city’s Jewish community on Wednesday. At the ceremony marking that restitution, officials from the city of Hamburg cut up a copy of the Nazi-era Aryanization document that ordered the demolition of the synagogue.

“We apologize for coming to the decision so late to give them back their property,” Dirk Kienscherf, a local official from the center-left Social Democratic Party, said to representatives of the Jewish community at the ceremony.

The synagogue was burned during Kristallnacht, the series of pogroms in 1938 when Nazis destroyed synagogues and Jewish-owned stores across Germany. Its remains were later forcibly sold to the city and demolished, and an air raid bunker, for use only by Aryans, was built next door. At present, the empty site features a mosaic outlining the synagogue’s architecture, including its vaulted ceilings, that was laid in 1988 by artist Margrit Kahl.

“The Bornplatz Synagoge will rise again and become a monument of remembrance, serving as the visible center for the vibrant Jewish life in our city,” Rabbi Shlomo Bistrizky, a Chabad-Lubavitch movement emissary and chief rabbi of Hamburg, said in a statement.

The quest to rebuild the synagogue, more than eight decades after its destruction, began in the shop of a local antique dealer in the summer of 2020. Daniel Sheffer, an Israeli-born entrepreneur now based in Hamburg, was in the shop when he discovered a silver Torah crown engraved with a dedication to Markus Hirsch, the first rabbi of the Bornplatz Synagogue — which left him feeling “overwhelmed,” he told the Jewish Chronicle.

“But I also felt embarrassed and ashamed and angry, because I was being asked to buy back what was stolen from my ancestors,” he added. “That feeling lasted for days.”

Sheffer eventually bought the crown and brought it with him to more than 50 meetings with public officials and other potential supporters of his campaign, titled “No to antisemitism. Yes to the Bornplatz Synagogue.”

That effort led to the formation of the Initiative for the Reconstruction of the Bornplatz Synagogue, which Sheffer leads. The project secured more than $600,000 in German government funding to conduct a study evaluating the feasibility of rebuilding the synagogue. The construction itself will be funded by the Hamburg municipal government, the German government and private donations.

The pledges of public support for the project came following two more recent attacks on Jews in Germany: the 2019 shooting at a synagogue in the city of Halle, and an attack almost exactly a year later at the Hohe Weide synagogue in Hamburg during Sukkot, in which a Jewish student was seriously injured.

The Torah crown Sheffer bought is now housed at Hohe Weide synagogue. One of the Torah scrolls from the Bornplatz Synagogue, meanwhile, found its way to the United States in 1940 via Italy, rescued by a congregant, Joseph Bamberger. The Torah scroll continued to be used in the synagogues Bamberger and his family attended in Manhattan, and as of 2021, it is in the permanent collection of the city’s Museum of Jewish Heritage.

Some have argued that rebuilding the synagogue would lead the public to forget the atrocities of the Holocaust, while memorials like the one that currently exists in the square are a reminder of the community’s loss and destruction. “The mosaic communicates and commemorates the open wound of the building’s absence, and through it, the absence of what was once one of Western Europe’s most thriving Jewish communities,” Galit Noga-Banai wrote in Haaretz criticizing the reconstruction initiative.

Because of the unusual way the synagogue was destroyed — all of its rubble was pushed into the basement — some surprises have turned up during the excavation process. Those include colorful glass shards from the synagogue’s windows, which give a sense of what the building — whose image has been preserved in black-and-white photos — looked like, Northern German Broadcasting reported.

When the excavation is completed, an architectural competition for the design of the new synagogue will be held, and the bunker standing next to the synagogue will be demolished.

“This moment today is a turning point for our Jewish history in Hamburg,” Sheffer said, according to a local radio station. “It is the victory of justice and Jewish life in Hamburg over the barbarism of the Nazis.”

[don-dake]

SPYLD | 用自己語言之日 (五月七號)

Speak Your Language Day #SPYLD (May 7)

English translation available in the ALT text and under a cut ↓

《河國榮最驚…》

🇭🇰🇲🇴 「我係驚…廣東話係會絕種。如果香港嘅小學或者幼稚園就開始…實行，全部啲課都係用國語去教嘅話呢…噉 (廣東話) 都係三代不保。我好驚因為我好鍾意廣東話。」

同感

身為一個有廣東背景嘅華裔，住緊嘅國家又目前只重視普通話為正式中文，我都有同感。我都好驚喺冇幾耐嘅將來入面，如果 (要強調係如果) 有廣東背景嘅人唔睇緊啲，廣東話絕種嘅可能性真係可以盡速變成事實㗎！

我就唔清楚河生係點造成佢嘅諗法，至於我自己，因為經過我個人喺本國經歷過嘅經驗嚟睇，親自感受到本地政府點用非純屬封殺嘅封殺方法嚟打沉學非普通話，其他華式語言嘅念頭，所以我呢個諗法，唔係完全冇根據先得到嘅。

可能有啲人喺呢個階段會嚟個膝腱反射反應，即刻想反駁話，「講廣東話嘅人全世界目前仲有超過八千萬咁多！廣東話到而家仍然生氣勃勃嘛！邊有瀕危呀？唔好亂噏啦！」 …

係冇錯，而家就話仲生氣勃勃啫，但係我覺得好多人反駁呢點嘅時候，總會忽略咗考慮到歲月流逝嘅問題。考慮到嘅唔應該只係而家，而係將來。(除非話聽日就世界末日將近嚟緊嘞，噉就咩都唔使擔心囉！哈哈哈…)

所以請想象呢個場景：如果原本用緊大量廣東話嘅地區不知不覺，漸漸改變常時用普通話嚟溝通嘅話，噉久而久之，諗下廣東話嘅將來會似乜樣呢？

又唔使等 「久而久之」 嘞，憑而家嚟睇，而家越嚟越多有廣東背景，後生三、四代嘅人 (包括自己) 都識普通話嘞。問題唔係識普通話唔好，又唔係話普通話基本唔好，而係而家呢啲人當中，好多講普通話比講佢哋本應該熟悉多啲嘅廣東話仲覺得自然。佢哋甚至認為廣東話係唔值得學㗎嘞。

呢種情況喺其他地區係咪真係越嚟越普遍我就唔清楚，就唔敢多講嘞，但係我可以話本地年輕人對於講同學所謂嘅方言 (即係廣東話、潮州話、海南話、等等，唔係普通話就係) 多數真係好差。

所以河國榮為香港所擔憂嘅 「廣東話三代不保」 真係唔係誇大，想散佈恐懼先講嘅。我國就係個最好嘅例子，「方言三代不保」，真係差唔多變咗事實嘞！

(以上截圖係由一部大概2015年視頻而嚟。視頻內提過河國榮當時50歲。)

same sentiments

As an overseas born Chinese with Cantonese background, living in a country that currently still only recognises Mandarin as the official Chinese language, I also share the same sentiments. I too am very afraid in the near future, if (and emphasis on the if) people with Cantonese background don't watch it, the possibility that Cantonese may go extinct can become a reality real soon!

I'm not sure how Mr Rivers came about his thoughts and conclusions, but as for me, having witnessed and experienced personally my own government's way of banning, but not quite banning outright, the insidious ways of discouraging people from learning and using a Chinese language that is not Mandarin, my worry (for the future of Cantonese) is not totally unfounded.

At this point, some people are probably going to have a knee-jerk reaction and are quick to retort that “there are currently more than 80 million people in the world that still speak Cantonese! Cantonese is still thriving! What nonsense are you spouting‽” …

Yes that's right, it's still currently thriving. But I think lots of people who retort this point often fail to remember to consider too the flow of time. It's not just the here and now they should be thinking about, but rather the future. (Unless we're saying the world's end is fast approaching tomorrow, then we won't have to worry about anything anymore! Hahaha…)

So please envision this scenario: If the places that were originally strongholds for Cantonese are gradually and insidiously using Mandarin more and more, in time, what do you think the future for Cantonese will be like then?

And we don't actually need to see “in time”, looking at things currently, there are increasingly more 3rd, 4th generation and later, people of Cantonese background (that includes myself) who can speak Mandarin. The problem is not knowing how to speak Mandarin, nor is it Mandarin itself but rather, what should have been the more familiar and comfortable Cantonese to them, is now being superseded by Mandarin. Some of these people even think Cantonese is no longer worth learning.

Not sure about other areas, so I can't really say if this is getting to be a real common situation elsewhere, but I can definitely say that within my own country, the majority of younger people's relationship with speaking and learning the so-called dialects (i.e. Cantonese, Teochew, Hainanese, etc., i.e. any other Chinese that is not Mandarin) is definitely very shaky.

So Rivers's worry for Hong Kong, that “Cantonese will be lost within 3 generations” is not exactly an exaggeration nor a kind of fearmongering. My country's the perfect example of this happening, “dialects being lost within 3 generations” is almost a reality here now!

(Above screenshots were taken from a video clip that's roughly from 2015. Video mentioned that Rivers was 50 years of age at that time.)

[xsssbgn]

A Supreme Being

ACTRESS JILL HENNESSY IS THE first to admit that the time she spent filming Autumn in New York this fall didn’t exactly constitute hard labor. Sure, she had to scramble down a ladder while dressed in heels and a full-length evening gown. But this was one gig with great benefits—and we’re not talking 401 (k). Richard Gere, as her playboy ex-boyfriend, was positioned directly above her. “There was a moment where I’m looking up at him from a rather low perspective,” says Hennessy. “And I had, shall we say, an exceptional view. I’m thinking I really have to thank God for this moment. How lucky am I? I would have paid them to work in this movie.”

Who wouldn’t? Certainly not the devoted fans who mob the set daily. “He was being filmed inside a taxi,” marvels Joan Chen, who is directing the romance, due next fall, “and all at once these women began to yell, ‘It’s Richard Gere!’ Some were just squeezing their hands and holding their heads and trying to get a better look. You see it every day.”

Actually, Gere has seen it for decades. From his career-making role as the brooding stud-for-hire who showed us his buff stuff in 1980’s American Gigolo to his crowd-pleasing performance as the rakish reporter who had us screaming “Wrong way!” at a fleeing Julia Roberts in last summer’s Runaway Bride, the 5’10” actor has had a hypnotic effect on women. “It happens everywhere,” says his close friend and 1986 Power costar Kate Capshaw. “At restaurants, walking down the street, they’re passing notes to the table, they’re sending flowers.”

A remarkably fit 50, Gere appeals to females who weren’t even born when he launched his career in 1969. What’s more: He knows it. “It’s not that far-fetched,” he told Women’s Wear Daily with characteristic cockiness when asked about the 22-year age difference between him and his Autumn costar Winona Ryder, 28. “No one would say anything if I was involved with a woman that age.”

It is exactly that swaggering confidence that has kept fans in his thrall for more than 20 years. It’s true that the tresses have silvered. And the once-angry young man is now a devout Buddhist who meditates regularly and campaigns tirelessly to free Tibet from China. His close relationship with the Dalai Lama, whom he reportedly met through his friend, Rolling Stone publisher Jann Wenner, in 1983, has added another dimension to his character. But within this mellow fellow is the soul of a rebel. Free-spirited and dangerously charming, Gere is the bad boy women love to love—even though he’s bound to break a few hearts. “Richard is kind of like a Persian cat,” says his 1995 First Knight costar Julia Or-mond. “You want the cat to give you its attention, and the cat is very independent. But when the cat wants it from you, it’s irresistible.”

Just ask Gere’s ex-wife Cindy Crawford, who, on the brink of her betrothal to Rande Gerber, admitted that she still couldn’t imagine talking to Gere on the phone. “It’s hard,” she told Redbook in August 1997. “It’s kind of like, I don’t want to fall back in love with him.”

Crawford’s loss has been Carey Lowell’s gain. The 3 8-year-old former Law & Order actress is expecting Gere’s baby early next year. “[It’s] one of the real joys in my life right now,” the actor told Larry King in August. But if Gere has found his soulmate, he is also holding on to his freedom. The relationship succeeds, says pal Sharon Simonaire, a New York City interior designer, because “Carey lets him be who he is and loves him for it. She doesn’t want him to change.”

The fact that Gere can’t be tamed is what drives women wild. When actress Brooke Adams, who would later work with him on 1978’s Days of Heaven, first encountered Gere at a downtown Manhattan party in the early 1970s, “he was surly, mysterious, angry,” she recalls. “He was my friend’s boyfriend, but I thought he was the sexiest man alive. When he puts his attention on you, you feel like you’re in this huge spotlight.”

Time has not diminished his charms. “He listens to you,” says Laura Linney, his costar in 1996’s Primal Fear. “Right off, he is interested in who you are and how you got there.”

Bai Ling, who starred with Gere in 1997’s Red Corner, was taken by “the light that comes out of his smile.” At their first meeting, “Richard gave me a very tight, warm hug that took all my stress away,” she recalls. Later he subjected her to tickling attacks that ruined at least a few takes. He even introduced her to his folks. On the evening of Red Corner‘s Manhattan premiere, Ling sat at the piano in the actor’s Greenwich Village pad and accompanied them on a chorus of “Home on the Range.”

It was only 200 miles away in Syracuse that Homer Gere, 77, a retired insurance salesman, and Doris, 75, a homemaker, raised their five children. Second-born Richard was on North Syracuse Central High School’s gymnastics, lacrosse and ski teams and played trumpet in the band. “He was a phenomenal gymnast, but you wouldn’t call him a jock; he had a lot of friends, but he wasn’t into being superpopular,” recalls classmate Chuck Parry, now a Syracuse minister, who used to play Bob Dylan songs on guitar with Gere after school.

Girls were drawn to the self-assured idealist who favored jeans and Army surplus jackets. Gere dated only the brightest ones, like steady Diane Fredericks. “We went to the movies a lot,” Fredericks, now married and living in New Hampshire, told PEOPLE in 1984. “It was always old films and monster movies. People tend to think of him as a sex object. I never thought of him that way. He was too intelligent for that.” After graduating in 1967, Gere accepted a gymnastics scholarship to the University of Massachusetts Amherst, where he majored in philosophy. But he fell in love with acting and dropped out in 1969 to pursue the profession full-time.

Though he spent a few years in New York City as the proverbial starving artist, he was never starved for attention. When actress Penelope Milford met Gere on the set of an Off-Broadway musical in 1971, she says, “he had already dated all the girls in the cast,” including costar and future disco-diva Vicki Sue Robinson. “Vicki Sue said to me, ‘Watch out. He’ll love you and leave you,’ ” recalls Milford, who dated Gere for seven years. “I was like, ‘Not me.’ But he was real nice to me, then all of a sudden he started acting aloof, and that was the hook.”

The women kept coming. Actress Sally Kirkland recalls the still-unknown Gere crashing a star-studded party she was throwing for Robert De Niro and Al Pacino in the mid-1970s. “Joni Mitchell was there, and Donovan. Mick Jagger crashed too. But as Richard walked in, I just stopped. I was supposed to be greeting people but I couldn’t. I was just mesmerized.” So was fashion designer Diane Von Furstenberg when she met Gere at a Thanksgiving party a few years later. “He walked like a biker, and that attracted me,” she says. “I knew I was going to get my hands on him. I seduced him.”

Brazilian artist Sylvia Martins, who came under Gere’s spell in the 1980s, says their romance thrived for seven years because “we’re both very independent and we loved to explore.” Together they traveled to such exotic locales as the jungles of Borneo, where they crash-landed in a helicopter among native tribes, and the island of Bali, where Gere went off to meditate alone on a volcano. “That’s the kind of thing we used to do and find it totally normal,” Martins says. But the attention that Gere attracted from other women was hard for Martins to handle. “I felt hurt and sad when women started throwing themselves at him,” she says.

Gere’s onscreen sexuality was also combustible. His full-frontal nude scenes in 1980’s Gigolo were among the first in mainstream cinema. Yet Gere brushed off America’s shock. “In Europe,” he later told Cosmopolitan, “this is pretty parochial stuff.” His coinciding Broadway appearance as a homosexual Holocaust victim in Martin Sherman’s Bent was equally risky, prompting rumors that Gere was gay. At the time, the actor refused to respond. It was only years later, when the gossip extended to his marriage to Crawford, that he defended their hetero-sexuality in an ad that he placed in The Times of London.

Inevitably, some risks didn’t pay off. After confirming his place in heartthrob history with An Officer and a Gentleman (1982), Gere turned down the leads in Die Hard and Wall Street and wound up appearing in a string of flops like King David and Miles from Home. But he came bounding back in 1990’s Pretty Woman with his surprisingly whimsical turn in the role of a corporate raider bummed-out in Beverly Hills. The film eventually earned more than $460 million worldwide, made a star of Julia Roberts and confirmed a sea change in her leading man: Richard Gere had lightened up. In fact, he was so eager to get the part that “he jumped up and danced on the table,” recalls one of the film’s producers, Arnon Milchan. “He actually danced.”

Shortly thereafter, Gere landed his own pretty woman: supermodel Crawford. They married in a Las Vegas chapel in 1991. “I didn’t want to lose [her],” he said at the time. But it was not to last. “Richard was very torn up after his marriage broke up, just devastated,” says his friend Sharon Simonaire, who blames the 1994 split on their age difference (he was 45, she 28) and Crawford’s impatience with Gere’s Buddhist causes, which Crawford, a nonpracticing Protestant, didn’t share. “Cindy had problems with his going off to India and being away,” Simonaire says.

Then, in the fall of 1995, Simonaire introduced Gere to her friend Lowell at a Manhattan restaurant and saw the sparks ignite. After the pair spent a weekend together, says Simonaire, “Carey called and said, ‘He’s so damn funny. He pulled his sweatpants up to his chest and walked around kind of scratching himself.’ It reminded her of how her father used to joke around the house.”

Four years later, Gere has settled in with Lowell and Hannah, her 9-year-old daughter with ex-husband actor-director Griffin Dunne. The three share a spacious Greenwich Village town-house decorated with an eclectic mix of 1940s French furniture, Eastern artwork that Gere has collected from his travels and his own acclaimed black-and-white photography. Gere showers his leading lady with gifts of rubies, pearls and shawls from his Indian sojourns. She spoils him too. In September she threw a 50th-birthday party for him on a rented rooftop overlooking the Hudson River. Buddhist monks chanted, more than 100 guests feasted on Asian food, and Lowell presented a specially made video containing clips from Gere’s old TV interviews and birthday wishes from his friends. At the end, recounts party guest Bai Ling, “Carey came on and said, ‘There’s somebody else who wants to say “Hi.” ‘ She opened her shirt to reveal a face painted on her [pregnant] belly. Richard was crying, he was so moved.”

As soon as his tears were dry, though, the twinkle no doubt returned to his eyes. After all, this is not a man who is made of mush. When he reads this story, says Simonaire, “I don’t know how he’ll be to live with. He may be strutting around the house like the Sexiest Man Alive.”

Anne-Marie O’Neill Sue Miller in New York City and Pamela Warrick in Los Angeles