#i wanted to make it feel like the weight of every emotion is on my shoulder but i cover it up with colors and characters and art
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lovscb97 Ā· 2 days ago
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tags: park sunghoon x fem!reader, established relationship, size kink, strength kink, bulge kink, d/s dynamics, dom!sunghoon x sub!reader, unprotected sex (plz donā€™t), breeding kink, creampie, dirty talk, degradation (slut, whore), praise kink?, nicknames (baby, princess, angel, hoonie, etc), slight fluff, lowkey pwp, reader is described to be shorter than hoon and is easy to pick up/throw around, reader is also very down bad for him (arenā€™t we all), etc
wc: 2.67k
add. notes: hoon won the poll i put out so i present to u my first ever enha work :3 thank u very much to everyone who voted n this will def not be the last enha fic i put out so do not worry there is much to come for hyung line!!! also icon creds to @/v4mpjay :3
. . .Ā 
sunghoon doesnā€™t know how much longer he can take this.Ā 
it all started when he began going to the gym regularly, slowly bulking his figure up and feeling himself grow out in his clothes. what used to be his lanky frame that greeted him in the mirror gradually turned into a built man with lean muscles and sharper features, adding to what was already there initially. it wasnā€™t like this wasnā€™t what he wanted though, albeit the entire reason why he even started working out in the first place being to improve his health and build better habits for himself, but the outcome wasnā€™t too bad in itself. he got used to feeling stronger, more lighter on his feet or less out of breath when he climbed the stairs, and it was enjoyable to know that he could lift twice his weight and still feel good as new. in some way, things felt like they were going swell.
that is, until you came into the picture.
now, sunghoonā€™s always known that youā€™re small compared to him. even when standing side by side, his height next to yours is a little laughable, though he supposes youā€™re used to that considering youā€™ve always been shorter than most of your peers. heā€™s well aware of how you have to go on your tippy-toes when you guys kiss, and the soft feel of your little hands in his is something that spins in his mind constantly when your fingers lace together. it doesnā€™t help that you always ask him to fetch your favourite mug from the top cabinet too, his larger physique towering over yours each time he leans over from behind you. he likes to tease you about it, revelling in the way you pout cutely back at him whenever he makes fun of you jokingly despite the small smile playing at your lips, but little do you know about the twisted fantasies breaching his thoughts every moment you spend together. he wonders if you would be disgusted? would you dump him and tell all your friends about what a creepy loser he was? sunghoon canā€™t help but imagine the worst case scenario, and it would be easy to bury these emotions down the hatchet had it not been for the fact that heā€™s started to think he is going mad too.Ā 
every time sunghoon comes home from the gym, every time he enters your shared apartment, sweat dripping down his forehead and his water-bottle empty, he swears on his dead grandmother that you start checking him out. it doesnā€™t help that he's always been attentive either, always needlessly easy at picking up the cues of your discomfort when you're outside in a social space for too long, or being able to tell instantly when you're anything other than the happy go lucky girlfriend he usually sees you as. so, when your lingering gaze begins to trail across his arms a little too long whenever he passes your shared bedroom on his way to the shower, or when your mouth opens and closes to swallow before you're pressing your thighs together subtly each time he moves to wipe himself down each time heā€™s homeā€” it all sparks something in him. it told him to finally, finally indulge in the nasty thoughts heā€™s kept tucked away to himself once and for all.
except he doesnā€™t. because at the end of the day, sunghoon is a gentleman. he pulls open the doors for you with nonchalance written all over him despite his burning ears, and he brings you back your memorised coffee order alongside a few sweet treats when he knows youā€™re on your period. he holds you close when youā€™re asleep in bed together, rubbing a gentle thumb against the skin of your cheek because heā€™s aware thatā€™s what it takes for you to fall asleep, and makes sure you know heā€™s always going to be there for you in any time of need, even if heā€™s a thousand miles away. heā€™s never once made you doubt him, never once given you any reason to suspect he could be anything beyond the perfect, storybook written boyfriend heā€™s always been.Ā 
until today, at least.
it was a day like any other, a day where you wouldnā€™t have expected things to take the turn they took at all. you and sunghoon were tangled up in your lavender sheets with your leg thrown over his, the morning sun streaming through the beige curtains youā€™d picked out on your ikea date together, and no alarms were intact to disturb you as it was the weekend. thatā€™s probably why you both found yourselves in your current situation, your mouths meeting sloppily for short kisses and your boyfriendā€™s cock buried to the hilt inside you, thrusting ever so gently every other second as he whispered sweet praises to you between the meshing of your lips. the only sounds heard beyond the chirping of the birds outside your window were your soft moans and his low grunts, alongside the quiet noises of your slick dragging against his dick.
ā€œfuck, baby. you feel so good.ā€ sunghoon mumbles, pressing gentle smooches along the skin of your chin and jaw. you reply back something unintelligible, too lost in the euphoria heā€™s providing you to even form a coherent answer, which only makes him chuckle. he pulls back to admire your figure underneath him, a smile spreading across his lip at the sight of you laid out oh so pretty and pliant just for him. for him. all for his use. his use and his use only. the eventual thought makes his cock twitch inside you, and sunghoon momentarily slows down his movements in fear heā€™ll accidentally lose control of himself and fuck you into the sheets. his loss of momentum causes you to whine out loud though, large doe eyes blinking up at him in wonder, almost as if asking what happened, which does not make your boyfriendā€™s job any easier.
ā€œhoonie, faster.ā€ you beg softly, one hand coming up to grip his shoulder as the other bundles up the duvet underneath you. ā€œplease, wanā€™ it so bad.ā€ sunghoon feels like his resolve is on the brink of snapping at your words, and he quickly resumes his previous pace (albeit still slower than what you wanted but better nonetheless) with gritted teeth, trying to think of something, anything that would distract him from the realisation of how fucking small you look under him, or how soft your hand feels resting on his skin. it doesnā€™t help that the sounds spewing from your lips are so cute, only spurring him on further to do what he longs to.Ā 
ā€œyeah, angel? want it faster? want hoonie to fuck you deeper?ā€ he groans out instead, biting his lip at the sight of you nodding almost instantly to his words. your hole clenches even tighter around him as he speaks to you, and he shudders at the sensation. ā€œshit, donā€™t do that, princess. might cum too quickly.ā€ he exhales shakily, confused when you shake your head. ā€œdonā€™t care. cum fā€™me. wanna feel it, please.ā€ you plead almost instantly without thinking, sunghoonā€™s eyes darkening as the request leaves your mouth. his pace comes to an immediate halt after that, and you make a noise of complaint at the loss of pleasure in your lower region, legs kicking up slightly in protest as you eye your boyfriend whoā€™s currently trying to compose himself above you.
ā€œdonā€™t.. donā€™t say stuff like that.ā€ sunghoon sighs, eyes closed shut as you cock your head to the side. youā€™re about to ask him why when he speaks up again. ā€œi wonā€™t be able to hold myself back if you do.ā€ he professes darkly, opening his orbs back up to look deep into yours, his smouldering gaze making you shiver. you involuntary tighten around him at his confession, and he hisses at the feeling, head snapping to look down at you and the blush spreading across your cheeks.Ā 
ā€œi-i donā€™t.. donā€™t want you to hold back.ā€ you mutter whilst looking away meekly before he can even comment on your actions. you meet his stare again after a beat of silence, but thereā€™s something dark and sinister swimming in it now, and by the time you can even process what it is, heā€™s suddenly sheathing himself back into your warm walls, plowing into you with a heightened pace as if this is the last time heā€™ll ever get to fuck you. your moans tumble out of your mouth before you can even stop them, and you swear you hear sunghoon growl at the way you keen from his movements.Ā 
ā€œyeah? donā€™t want me to hold back? want me to absolutely destroy this wet cunt with my cock? ruin it for everybody else and mould it to the shape of my dick?ā€ he grunts, a smirk spread across his face as you wildly nod at his words. ā€œwhat, too fucked out to speak now, baby? whereā€™s that confidence from before, hm?ā€ you whimper at his condescending tone, the noise travelling straight to his core as he curses, continuing to plunge himself deep into you. the tip of his cock brushes against that spongey spot inside you, and you cry out when he angles his thrusts to hit it each time he drives inside your pussy.Ā 
ā€œwho knew you were such a slut, huh baby? tell me, how long have you wanted me to spread you open and fuck you like i hated you?ā€ sunghoon pants, tongue lolling out to lick at the sweat gathering on your neck. ā€œs-so long, hoonie!ā€ you mewl in response, eyes rolling to the back of your head when he bites down on your skin. ā€œwanted you toā€” hnng, wanted you to bend me over and throw me around so bad!ā€ sunghoon laughs breathlessly at your answer.Ā 
ā€œyeah, pretty? want me to use my big arms and toss you onto the bed? you shouldā€™ve told me sooner that you were such a whore.ā€ you clench at the degrading name, and sunghoon almost stumbles into you at the sudden jolt of shock. ā€œwouldā€™ve done everything you wanted me to. wanted it just as bad as you, did ya know that?ā€ he grits out, pace unrelenting and unforgiving as he proceeds to pound into you. ā€œyouā€™re so fucking small, baby. makes me so goddamn hard every time i think about it. just want to, oh fuckā€” want to hold you down and make you take it.ā€Ā 
ā€œdo it! do it, hoonie, please do it! make me take it, i wanā€™ take it for you.ā€ you sob, and sunghoon physically feels the last of his self restrain break in half. heā€™s far too fucked out now to go back to his old ways, far too gone in the dizziness of making you feel good. his only goal now is to make you cum violently around him, and heā€™ll stop at nothing to achieve that. ā€œgonna do it, baby. just wait, gonna fuck you so dumb, youā€™ll be begging me to stop.ā€ he pauses momentarily to grab at the plush of your thigh and tosses your leg over his shoulder, resuming his past actions in the blink of an eye as you cry out at the change. he hits deeper, more harsh this way, and you swear you can feel him battering your cervix with each thrust delivered to your abused cunt.
ā€œfuck, look at that.ā€ sunghoon laughs in disbelief, his eyes fixed on the slightly evident bulge of his cock thrusting in and out of you in your stomach. ā€œtaking my cock so well, princess. you gonna cum for me soon, yeah? gonna cum for hoonie and make a mess of me?ā€ he coos at the way youā€™re drooling, swiping a thumb up to wipe at the spit leaking out of your mouth before sucking it off, the visual of it only making you whine even more. by now, the bed is stained with your leaking arousal, but neither of you care, especially not when he involuntarily moves his hand to press down on your stomach. his movements only cause you to double over in pleasure, and before either of you know it, youā€™re shaking through an orgasm, thrashing and wailing as tears stream down your face.
ā€œshit, shit, shit! thatā€™s so hot, oh fuck.ā€ sunghoon moans. ā€œyou did so well, angel. did so fucking good for me, you deserve a reward, donā€™t you? donā€™t you, my baby?ā€ he rambles, and you whine in overstimulation as his thrusts grow more frantic and misplaced when he begins chasing his own release. ā€œget ready, princess, ā€˜m gonna fill you up. gonna breed you so, so good and make you take it, yeah? youā€™ll take it, wonā€™t you? take it so good for me like you always do.ā€ by this point, youā€™re both trembling and whining out loud, sunghoon pistoning his hips into you as he desperately fixes to cum. he can feel the pressure building up, his balls tightening with each harsh thrust he delivers inside of you, and youā€™re more than ready to feel him ooze out of you, encouraging words spilling from your lips.
ā€œdo it, hoonie! do it, please! make me full and fuck it back into me. iā€™ll take it so good, so good, please baby, please.ā€ youā€™re babbling by now, too fucked out to think let alone speak, but your words seem to send sunghoon over the edge because by the time youā€™re even halfway through your sentence, heā€™s shooting ropes inside of you, painting your walls white with his seed. thereā€™s so much of it that it almost leaks out despite his cock keeping you plugged up, and you watch his beautiful face contort in pleasure, eyebrows furrowed and eyes clenched shut as he continues filling you up.Ā 
ā€œfuck..ā€ sunghoon sighs out once heā€™s come down from his high, looking down to grip his cock and pull it out slightly only to push it back in when your cunt gushes with his release, causing him to bite his lip at the sinful sight. you whine when he moves back into you, his large arms caging your smaller frame in as he leans down to pepper salty kisses all over your face. ā€œmy good girl.ā€ he whispers, slightly collapsing on top of you to catch his breath. his weight on you feels comforting, almost natural as you wrap your tired arms around his back tightly, pressing your bodies together even more than they already are to feel closer and connected to him.
ā€œi didnā€™t know you were into that.ā€ sunghoon speaks up after a moment of silence, causing you to open your eyes and look at him. he moves so heā€™s laying on his side, cock still keeping you plugged up despite the awkward position. ā€œinto what?ā€ he deadpans at your reaction, and you giggle. ā€œcā€™mon, babe. you canā€™t seriously look like that and expect me to not be feral for you.ā€ you smile, and sunghoon huffs out a laugh, spooning an arm around you as he pulls your body closer to his warm one. ā€œstill, who knew my girl was so freaky?ā€ you swat at him, and his chest rumbles with laughter, the sound sending an odd pool of warmth flowing through your chest. you both lay there in silence after that, basking in each otherā€™s presence and enjoying the serenity and afterglow which comes from what was quite literally the best sex of your lives.Ā 
ā€œi love you.ā€ you hear sunghoon mumble suddenly, his voice drowsy as he yawns cutely, a large grin spreading on your face at the simple three words which leave him. you reach out for his hand, lacing your small fingers in it before bringing it up to your mouth and pressing a kiss to the back. ā€œlove you more, hoonie.ā€ you sigh out in satisfaction, eyes slipping shut slowly as sleep welcomes your tired senses.
you gradually drift off, thoughts filled with sweet dreams of your boyfriend and his precious laughter.Ā 
. . .
comments and reblogs are always appreciated! <3
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rootedinrevisions Ā· 2 days ago
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Rooster Comes Home to His Girls
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SUMMARY: There are not a ton of plot points, just Husband and Dad Bradley coming home to his girls.
WORD COUNT: 1.4k
WARNINGS: None (Pure fluff on this one)
TAG LIST: IN COMMENTS
A/N: I need something fluffy in my life and saw this picture on Pinterest and the idea just kind of flowed from there. Between everything going on in the country today and the stuff that's been going on in my personal life the past six months or so, I needed some pure, sickeningly sweet fluff. So here it is! Hope you enjoy!
The quiet hum of the baby monitor filled the kitchen as you stood at the sink, rinsing out a bottle. The rhythmic motion had become almost meditative over the past few weeks, a small way to keep yourself grounded while you waited for Bradley to come home. It had been a long deployment, and the days had felt heavier as they passed, each one marked by the absence of his presence, his laugh, his steady, calming voice. Now, he was finally on his way back, and your heart beat faster with every small sound outside, every imagined footstep near the door.
Suddenly, the soft creak of the front door reached your ears, and you froze, breath catching in your throat. You turned just in time to see him step into the house, his duffel bag dropping to the floor as his eyes found yours. For a moment, the world seemed to stop. He looked a little worn, a little tired, but his eyes shone with the same warmth, the same love, that had carried you through his absence. And just like that, the weight youā€™d been carrying slipped away.
You barely noticed dropping the kitchen towel as you moved toward him, your feet quickening until you were close enough to feel the warmth of him, smell the familiar, comforting scent of his cologne, and the hint of jet fuel that clung to his clothes.
Bradley pulled you into his arms with a gentle strength, as though he was afraid you might break, his hands settling firmly against your back as he held you close.
ā€œI missed you so much,ā€ he murmured, voice rough with emotion as he buried his face in your hair.
His embrace felt like home, solid and sure, grounding you after weeks of doing everything alone. You leaned into him, closing your eyes as his hand gently cradled the back of your head, holding you close, as if he never wanted to let go.
ā€œI missed you too,ā€ you whispered, feeling tears well up as you clutched him tighter, the reality of having him here again making your heart ache in the best way.
You pulled back just enough to look up at him, letting your eyes drink in every detail of his faceā€”the familiar curve of his jaw, the warmth in his gaze, the slight shadow of exhaustion under his eyes.
And then, without a word, he leaned down, capturing your lips in a kiss that was soft, tender, and filled with all the words he hadnā€™t been able to say. You kissed him back, pouring all your relief, your longing, and your love into that moment. His hand came up to cup your cheek, his thumb gently brushing away a stray tear as he deepened the kiss, as if he needed to reassure himself that you were really here, that he was really home.
But then, the soft crackle of the baby monitor brought you both back, followed by a familiar whimper, a little cry that quickly turned into a wail. You sighed, feeling the exhaustion return as your mind shifted back to reality. You started to pull away, ready to go to her, but Bradley stopped you, his hand gently catching yours.
ā€œHey,ā€ he murmured, giving you a soft smile as he looked toward the monitor, where your daughterā€™s cries continued. ā€œIā€™ve got it. Let me take care of her.ā€
You hesitated, feeling the instinct to take over, to keep doing what youā€™d been doing alone for so long. ā€œAre you sure? I donā€™t mindā€”ā€
But Bradley shook his head, his expression gentle but firm. ā€œYouā€™ve been doing this on your own for weeks. Let me be the dad for a while,ā€ he said softly, his eyes filled with a tenderness that made your heart swell. ā€œYou look tired, sweetheart.ā€
You let out a breath, feeling the truth of those words hit you. ā€œItā€™s beenā€¦ a lot, but itā€™s okay. Itā€™s what I signed up for.ā€
He gave a small shake of his head, his expression softening into something even more tender. ā€œNo, itā€™s not okay for you to do this alone. Go, relax. Take a bath, take the whole night off. Iā€™ve got her.ā€
You felt the last bit of tension in your shoulders finally start to ease, the exhaustion youā€™d been holding back settling over you. You nodded, giving him a grateful smile as you whispered, ā€œThank you, Bradley.ā€
He gave your hand a reassuring squeeze before he let go, watching you with that same soft smile as you stepped back, finally allowing yourself to let him take over.
You paused at the doorway, glancing back as he turned and headed down the hall toward the nursery, his broad shoulders silhouetted in the soft glow of the nightlight spilling from your daughterā€™s room.
You took a deep breath, letting yourself sink into the silence, the weight lifting as you headed to the bathroom. It was strange, letting go of the constant watchfulness, but you trusted him completely. He was here now, and that was all that mattered.
In the bathroom, you ran a warm bath, sinking into the soothing water as the tension slowly faded away. For the first time in weeks, you allowed yourself to truly relax, closing your eyes and letting the warmth envelop you. You didnā€™t have to be on alert, didnā€™t have to listen for every small soundā€”Bradley was here, and he had everything under control.
After a while, you slipped into your pajamas, feeling more refreshed than you had in ages. You padded quietly down the hall, and as you passed the nursery you heard your daughterā€™s laughterĀ  filling the air.
Quietly, you made your way to the doorway and peeked inside, stopping when you saw Bradley kneeling beside her crib. He had a teddy bear in his hand, making playful growling noises as he wiggled it toward her, his eyes bright with joy. Each time the bear touched her belly, she erupted into giggles, her little hands reaching out to grab it.
You leaned against the doorframe, smiling as you watched them. Bradleyā€™s face softened as he looked at her, all the strength and resolve he usually wore dissolving into pure love. He was so gentle with her, the way he brushed a strand of hair from her face, the way he whispered silly little things to make her laugh as if he was trying to make up for every minute heā€™d missed while he was away.
You felt a tear slip down your cheek, but you didnā€™t wipe it away. Moments like this remind you why you fell in love with him in the first place.
Even after everything, the deployments, the late nights, the lonely stretchesā€”you knew he was worth it.
You then watched as he picked her up, bringing her into his arms in a cradling position. He began to sway gently as he whispered to her, his voice a low, soothing murmur. She reached out and curled her little fingers around his thumb, her big, sleepy eyes fixed on him as though she was entranced.
You leaned against the doorway, watching the two of them, your heart full as you took in the sight of your husband cradling his little girl, his own eyes filled with pure love.
ā€œDaddyā€™s home. Iā€™m so sorry I was gone for so long, but Iā€™m here now. Iā€™m not going anywhere.ā€ He whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
Your daughter blinked up at him, her little hand reaching up to touch his face, her tiny fingers brushing against his cheek. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, a tear slipping down his cheek as he held her close.
You felt your own eyes misting as you watched him with her, the quiet love and devotion in his expression a balm to your soul. He looked over, noticing you in the doorway, and gave you a small, tender smile.
ā€œCaught me,ā€ he said softly, a touch of playful warmth in his voice.
You walked over, wrapping your arms around him as he shifted slightly, making room for you to lean in, resting your head against his shoulder as you looked down at your daughter. ā€œI love seeing this side of you,ā€ you whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his shoulder.
ā€œSheā€™s grown so much,ā€ he murmured, looking over at you with a mixture of pride and sorrow. ā€œI feel like I missed so much.ā€
You shook your head, stepping closer, resting a hand on his arm. ā€œSheā€™s been waiting for you, Bradley. We both have.ā€
ā€œIā€™m here now.ā€ He reached up, his hand covering yours, a silent promise in his touch. The three of you stood there in the soft glow of the nursery, wrapped in a moment of love, peace, and quiet joyā€”a moment you knew youā€™d hold close to your heart, long after he had to leave again.
For now, though, he was here, and everything was just as it should be.
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thymejot Ā· 3 days ago
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Since the moment of Nickys birth, Agatha has been using Rio. She used her as a scapegoat from her own complex emotions. She then projects all her pain, her overwhelming loss, her guilt, and her feeling of responsibility for his death onto Rio as well.
Because Rio is death, an immutable immovable object that can take all the hits Agatha throws at her. All the sharpened barbs made to lay waste to anyone else, anyone weaker.
Agatha knows exactly how much to twist the knife to have the most impact.
She knows Rio will take every drop of her rancour, every ounce of her self-loathing, every rend Agatha can inflict. Then, in a few days or months, Rio will be there once more full of fervour with a flower in hand.
So when Agatha makes the deal with Rio to give up Billy in exchange for Rio never darkening her doorstep again. She never ever thought that this would be the final push that would cause death to falter.
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Rio has for so long been a physical embodiment of Agatha's external self hatred that the moment that Rio agrees, it all falls apart.
The safety Agatha had in her hatred of Rio crumbles, and all that is left is the realisation that the one person left on this earth that truly understood her pain, that loved all that she was had finally given up on her.
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As Rio walks away, you can see the disbelief, her hurt and the utter terror of losing Rio forever hit her. So, this right here is the exact moment when Agatha's fate was sealed.
Because Agatha is so deeply selfish.
The final act of reneging on the deal, pulling Rio into her arms, drawing death into herself, was never about saving Billy.
This was as close to supplication as Agatha is capable of. There is no universe in which Agatha ever says the words 'sorry'.
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This was forgive me. I love you. I want you.
This was, I will bury myself so deep into you that you will never be able to truly be rid of me. I will drink the poison of your lips while filling you so full to the brim with me so that I fully cement myself inside you. You will carry the weight of me with you until there is nothing left but ashes and the taste of my lips on yours.
Rio crumbles under the deluge of it all. She takes it all in. She is so full of Agatha that she never truly sees what is happening until it is already over.
The immutable unchanging death finally faltered twice in as many hours. Once more, Agatha proves that she is not Rio's scar, but the torn open bleeding heart of her
No wonder Rio did not have it in her to collect Agathas soul
Even in her most hated form, a world with Agatha in it is a world with hope for Rio. Agatha will weasel her way out of final death, and when she does, Rio will be waiting with fervour and a flower. Like always
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roseofhybrids Ā· 2 days ago
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there's something I've been thinking about recently, and tonight seems like a good enough occasion to talk about it
back when I was in therapy, every session my therapist would ask the same question
"What is something you're looking forward to this week"
The first time she asked that, I just figured it was a part of getting to know me as a new patient. Building rapport and trust and such. But when she repeated it every time I spoke to her, it made me wonder why she'd ask that specific question every time
Well, after thinking it over for a while, I think the reason she asked that is because it's really important to have something to look forward to regularly in life. Even if it's something small, as long as it's something you can find a little joy in See, nearly every time she asked me that, my answer would be that I was looking forward to my weekly DND game. It wasn't something too grand, just me and a few others messing around for 2 hours on roll20. But I felt happy when DMing for them, it wasn't much, but it still something that brought a little bit of fun every week
I feel like that's a critical part about staying alive on the day to day. Your life doesn't have to be filled with every day excitement like you're living a wealthy influencer lifestyle in order for you to carve out a bit of happiness for yourself
Like I said, it can be something small. Maybe it's DND games, maybe it's seeing the new episode of a show you like air, maybe once a week you let yourself order a pizza or eat out, maybe you and some friends get together to a watch a movie. Could even be that you just set aside a few hours where you can do something you like, literally anything as long as it brings you some enjoyment. Just a bit of time when you don't have to be productive and working and worrying about everything
I know the idea of doing something just for yourself can feel selfish, like you're wasting precious time. Especially with everything that's going on in the world, it can make you feel guilty for letting yourself find joy when some many others are suffering and in danger
Take it from someone who spent the latter half of their schooling dealing with dysthymia, self harm, and constant panic and anxiety attacks. Feeling nothing but misery 24/7/365 will help nothing. Depriving yourself of any positive emotion day in and out will fix nothing. All it will do is land you in either the grave or a mental hospital, and you certainly won't be able to help anyone from either of those places
If you want to help others, you'll have to be able to support yourself first. And that means not letting the stress of being alive build up to the point of crushing you under its weight. Take an hour or two every few days to let yourself truly breathe and relax. Think of it as fortifying your self for what's to come. You'll need some way to maintain your strength through the storm if you ever want to see the other side of it I'm not saying to ignore the bad parts of life, just don't ignore the good parts either. Even if you have to make those good parts with your own hands Eventually, the world will get better. But that will take time, so you will need to work to ensure you are around long enough to see it
This week, I'm looking forward to the new Dandadan episode, and going to get my new dog his name tag This month, I'm looking forward to making Thanksgiving dinner and getting to have some turkey and pumpkin pie Next year, I'm looking forward to starting a project that I've been thinking about for months
What is something you are looking forward to?
you don't gotta tell me it if you don't want to, just make sure you have one
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n0cturn4 Ā· 2 days ago
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Series In every universe - 12 . Jason Todd
Character: Jason Todd x Reader Summary: "You know you make me kind of nervous, right?" Word Count: 535 Land of Ancient Times.
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In the heart of the forest, where the moonlight filtered through the leaves like threads of silver, Jason felt the weight of that mystical night. Each step he took seemed to wrap him in a web of enchantment, and the air around him pulsed with an invisible force, as if the forest itself was guiding him toĀ You.
There, by the lake,Ā YouĀ seemed part of the landscape, an extension of nature itself. Your eyes, shining like the waters under the moonlight, reflected a deep sweetness and a wisdom strangely familiar to him, and Jason, who had always been impetuous and fearless, felt fragile, almost hesitant.
He stopped in front of you, his eyes fixed on yours. There was so much he wanted to say, yet the words eluded him. Then he murmured, in a near-reluctant confession:
ā€œYou knowā€¦ you make me kind of nervous, right?ā€
The silence that followed was filled only with the soft song of the wind.Ā YouĀ raised your face to him, a slight smile dancing on your lips, and it seemed the entire forest held its breath, awaiting your response.
ā€œTell me, my lord,ā€ļæ½ļæ½YouĀ murmured, your voice as light as dew upon the grass. ā€œIs that good or bad?ā€
Jason lowered his gaze, allowing a smile to escape that he couldnā€™t contain. Something stirred within him, a mix of emotions he barely understood. ā€œItā€™s the best thing thatā€™s ever happened to me,ā€ he confessed, his words sincere and weighted. ā€œI feel as if the peace Iā€™ve never found is here, in this forestā€¦ in you.ā€
Your smile softened, and he felt your gentle fingers touch his face, like a blessing bestowed by something greater. Your touch was warm, and Jason closed his eyes, letting himself be enveloped by that calm that onlyĀ YouĀ could bring him.
He, who so often fought against his own shadows, felt that here, withĀ You, all that had once troubled him was now soothed. Your closeness brought a new warmth, different from any battle he had ever fought, a rare tenderness that filled his chest with a gentle softness he had never known.
ā€œI tell you, with a sincere heart,ā€ he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. ā€œAmid all Iā€™ve livedā€¦ you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.ā€
YouĀ looked at him deeply, and for a moment, he had the impression that you understood every piece of his soul. With a smile that lit up your face,Ā YouĀ intertwined your fingers with his, and Jason knew that even if the world around them was only an illusion, that moment between them was real.
They remained like that, wrapped in a silent embrace, while the leaves whispered ancient songs, and the waters of the lake gleamed like jewels under the moonlight. In that instant, Jason allowed himself to imagine a different future, one where he could walk by your side, a creature of magic, while he, a man marked by hardship, finally found peace.
And at dawn, when he would have to leave, he would carry with him your touch, the memory of a love as deep as the forest where they met ā€” and the certainty that even in his brief time beside you, he had experienced the most sublime of joys....
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thollandsgirl2013 Ā· 1 day ago
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š€š„š°ššš²š¬ š“šØš šžš­š”šžš«
Parings ā†’ Peter Parker x Pregnant! Reader
Warnings ā†’ angst, fluff, mental breakdown
Summary ā†’ Pregnant reader breaks down, feeling helpless, but Peter comforts her and try to make things easier.
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(gif not mine)
Youā€™re standing in the kitchen, staring down at the bowl in front of you, trying to muster the strength to finish preparing lunch. Your hands shake, and tears brim in your eyes. The weight of your growing belly makes it hard to stand for too long, and your back aches so much that every movement feels like a battle. You want to sit down, but the thought of asking Peter for helpā€”againā€”makes you feel guilty. Heā€™s already been doing so much. He just came back from patrol, he's already exhausted.
A sharp kick from your baby jolts you, making you wince.
ā€œOkay, okay, I get it. Youā€™re hungry,ā€ you whisper to your belly, trying to rub the spot where the kick landed, but it only makes the baby kick again. Frustrated, you let out a shaky breath, your emotions bubbling up faster than you can control.
The kitchen door swings open, and Peter strolls in, his usual carefree smile lighting up his face. But the moment he sees you, his expression shifts to concern.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks gently, walking toward you.
You canā€™t hold it in anymore. Tears spill down your cheeks, and you drop the spoon youā€™re holding. It clatters onto the counter as you bury your face in your hands.
Peter's arms are around you in an instant, pulling you close but careful not to press too hard against your belly. He guides you to a chair, easing you down as you sob into his chest.
"I canā€™t do this anymore, Peter," you cry, your voice muffled by his shirt. "I canā€™t even make lunch without feeling like Iā€™m falling apart. My tummyā€™s so huge, it hurts sometimes, and the baby wonā€™t stop kicking. I just... I feel useless."
Peter crouches in front of you, his hands gently resting on your knees as he looks up at you with those warm, comforting eyes. He brushes a tear from your cheek with his thumb, his voice soft and soothing.
"Hey, youā€™re not useless. You're growing a whole human in thereā€”our baby. Thatā€™s amazing, and itā€™s more than enough. You don't have to do everything by yourself."
"But I canā€™t do anything, Peter," you whisper, your voice cracking. "I feel so weak, and I hate that I need help with everything."
Peter shakes his head, leaning in to kiss your forehead. "Youā€™re not weak. Youā€™re the strongest person I know. And you donā€™t have to do everything alone. Thatā€™s what Iā€™m here for, okay? I want to help you, I need to help you. Let me, please."
You sniffle, wiping your nose with the back of your hand. "But youā€™re already doing so much. You shouldnā€™t have to take care of me too."
"I love taking care of you," Peter says softly, his fingers brushing through your hair. "And I love our babyā€”even if theyā€™re a little kicker." He smirks, his playful tone breaking through the heaviness of the moment. "Just think, theyā€™re already showing off their Spider-strength."
You laugh through your tears, a weak but genuine sound. "I guess they are."
Peterā€™s hands gently move to your belly, where he rubs slow, soothing circles over the spot where the baby is kicking. His touch seems to calm the babyā€”or maybe it's just the warmth of his handsā€”but the kicking slows down, and for the first time in hours, you feel some relief.
"See?" Peter smiles up at you, his eyes soft and full of love. "Theyā€™re calming down now. They just needed to know Daddy was here."
You exhale a shaky breath, feeling your body relax slightly. "I donā€™t know what Iā€™d do without you."
"Youā€™ll never have to find out," Peter promises, kissing your belly softly. "Iā€™m always going to be here for youā€”both of you."
A moment of silence passes, and you lean back in your chair, closing your eyes as Peter continues to rub your belly. His fingers are gentle, and the rhythmic motion starts to lull you into a sense of calm you didnā€™t think you could feel today.
"Why donā€™t you take a break?" Peter suggests after a while. "Iā€™ll finish making lunch, and then we can watch a movie or something. Iā€™ll get all the pillows on the couch just the way you like them."
You hesitate for a moment, but the idea of restingā€”really restingā€”sounds too good to pass up.
"I donā€™t want to make you do everything," you mumble.
Peter shakes his head, standing up and kissing the top of your head. "I want to do this. Iā€™ll feel better knowing youā€™re comfortable."
He moves back to the counter, picking up the spoon you dropped and continuing to prepare lunch as if nothing had interrupted him. His movements are so natural, so full of care, that it almost brings tears to your eyes againā€”but this time, itā€™s because of how much love you feel radiating from him.
You lean back, resting a hand on your belly as you watch him cook. The baby gives a soft kick, and you smile, feeling a little more at peace.
"Thank you," you whisper, your voice barely audible.
Peter glances over his shoulder, his smile bright and full of warmth. "You never have to thank me, babe. Iā€™m the lucky one."
Once lunch is ready, Peter sets everything up on the coffee table in front of the couch. He arranges the pillows and blankets just how you like them, making sure you have everything you need before helping you lie down. You sink into the cushions, feeling like you can finally breathe again.
Peter sits beside you, pulling you into his arms, careful not to put any pressure on your belly. He hands you a plate of food, and for the first time all day, you feel like maybe things are going to be okay.
As you lean against him, his hand rests protectively on your belly, and you realize just how much you rely on himā€”not just for the physical support, but for the emotional comfort he brings you every day.
"I love you," you whisper, leaning your head on his shoulder.
"I love you more," Peter replies, pressing a soft kiss to your temple.
And for a moment, everything feels perfect.
ā€Žāˆ— ą£Ŗ Ė–ą¼ŗ š“†©ā˜†š“†Ŗ ą¼»Ė– ą£Ŗ āˆ—
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nottsdarling Ā· 7 hours ago
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Delusion
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Summary; Finding out that your boyfriend of 3 months has been lying and pretending about his feelings the whole relationship.
ā”ˆā”ˆćƒ»ą­Ø āœ¦ ą­§ćƒ»ā”ˆā”ˆ
: Cheater!bf Mattheo x reader
: word count ; 1.5k
: cw; cheating, lying, manipulation
: a/n! this is part two!! you can find part 1 here. Enjoy my angels!
ā”ˆā”ˆćƒ»ą­Ø āœ¦ ą­§ćƒ»ā”ˆā”ˆ
You heard the footsteps quicken behind you, echoing in the empty hallways, as you tried to speed up, wanting to escape the confrontation that was inevitable. You knew Mattheo would catch up, his determination never letting him fall behind, especially when he was set on somethingā€”or someone. But even as his hand wrapped around your arm, you kept your gaze on the floor, refusing to look him in the eye. The grip on your arm was firm yet shaky, betraying the emotions beneath his tough exterior. Mattheoā€™s calloused fingers, a sign of his roughness and recklessness, felt painfully real against your soft skin. You felt your heart clench, but you wouldnā€™t allow yourself to show it.
ā€œY/Nā€¦ please,ā€
He said, his voice filled with an uncharacteristic vulnerability that you hadnā€™t heard before. He tugged slightly, as if pulling you closer would somehow mend the gap between you, as if one touch could erase everything that had happened. But you shook his hand off, your body instinctively recoiling from him.
ā€œDonā€™t touch me,ā€
You said, your voice strained but steady.
ā€œI canā€™t do this.ā€
ā€œY/Nā€¦ we were just joking, it was just guy stuff,ā€
He said, the excuse faltering as he saw the hurt in your eyes. You shook your head.
ā€œGuy stuff? Thatā€™s what you call it? Making a fool out of me? Leading me on while laughing with your friends about how easy it is to play with my feelings?ā€
He tried to speak, his mouth opening to form words, but nothing came out. You could see the regret in his eyes, like he wanted to reach into his chest and hand you the guilt-ridden mess that was his heart. But no amount of remorse would undo the damage. You forced yourself to stay strong, even though part of you wanted to give in to his apology. Mattheo had always been charming, persuasive, the kind of guy who knew just the right words to say. But this time, his silver tongue failed him.
ā€œPlease, Y/N. Justā€¦ just listen to me,ā€
He pleaded, desperation coating his words. He ran a hand through his hair, visibly frustrated with himself.
ā€œIā€¦ I didnā€™t mean for it to get this far.ā€
You scoffed.
ā€œWhat exactly did you mean, then, Mattheo? To keep me around as some toy you could pick up and toss aside whenever you felt like it? Iā€™m not here for your amusement.ā€
You could feel the bitterness seeping into every word. He looked wounded, and yet that wasnā€™t enough for the hurt heā€™d caused you. The silence stretched on, with only his shallow breaths and your pounding heartbeat filling the void. Finally, he whispered,
ā€œWhat do you want, Y/N?ā€
For a second, the weight of your feelings pressed down on you, almost making you crumble. But anger resurfaced, becoming a shield you desperately clung to.
ā€œI want you to leave me alone. I want you to go back to whatever you were doing before you decided to mess with my life.ā€
ā€œIā€™m sorry,ā€
He said, his voice breaking.
ā€œIā€™m so sorry, Y/N.ā€
You laughed bitterly.
ā€œSorry for what? For playing with my heart like it was nothing? For making me think that maybe, just maybe, you actually cared?ā€ You felt the sting of tears but blinked them away, refusing to let him see just how deeply heā€™d hurt you.
ā€œGo fuck yourself, Mattheo.ā€
The words tore out of you, laced with every ounce of anger and betrayal you felt. You turned away from him, feeling the satisfaction of letting go and the agony of what might have been. Mattheo stood there, shoulders slumped, the pain in his eyes mirroring the ache in your heart. He looked down, defeated, as if your words had hit him harder than he ever expected. The silence between you both felt like a chasm, one that he couldnā€™t cross. But he didnā€™t walk away. Instead, he stayed there, his voice a quiet murmur that you barely caught as you began to walk off.
ā€œI didnā€™t deserve you,ā€
He said, so softly that it was almost a whisper. You paused, something about his tone stopping you in your tracks. Against your better judgment, you glanced over your shoulder. His face was pale, his eyes rimmed red with an emotion that even he seemed unaccustomed to showing.
ā€œI never deserved you, Y/N,ā€
He repeated, his voice a raw confession.
ā€œI know that. I thought I could keep things casual, that I could pretend it didnā€™t mean anything. But it does. It means everything.ā€ His words hung in the air, pleading with you to believe them. You turned back to face him fully, though your arms remained crossed, your posture defensive.
ā€œWhy are you telling me this now, Mattheo? After all thatā€™s happened, why now?ā€
ā€œBecauseā€¦ because I canā€™t lose you,ā€
He said, his voice trembling.
ā€œI canā€™t let you walk out of my life without trying to make it right. I know I messed up. I know I hurt you. But I need you to know that none of it was a game to me. I acted like an idiot because I was scared. Scared of how much I cared about you, of how vulnerable you make me feel.ā€
You stared at him, processing his words, the sincerity evident in his voice. For the first time, you saw past the bravado, the layers of sarcasm and charm heā€™d built around himself. You saw the boy who was terrified of rejection, of losing the one person he finally let himself care for.
ā€œAnd now?ā€
You asked softly, feeling your anger slowly unravel.
ā€œNow, Iā€™m asking for a chance. Just one chance to prove that Iā€™m not the jerk Iā€™ve been acting like,ā€
He said, his gaze locking onto yours with a steadiness that took you by surprise.
ā€œIā€™m asking you to let me show you that I can be better. For you.ā€
The rawness of his confession left you speechless. A part of you wanted to walk away, to protect yourself from being hurt again. But another part, a deeper part, remembered the moments youā€™d shared with him, the glimpses of vulnerability heā€™d shown, the times heā€™d made you laugh when you thought no one could.
ā€œMattheo,ā€
You started, your voice wavering,
ā€œYou canā€™t just expect me to forget everything.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t expect you to,ā€
He replied, taking a cautious step closer.
ā€œBut Iā€™m hoping that maybe, with time, I can earn your forgiveness. That maybe I can make things right.ā€
You hesitated, letting his words sink in. Could he change? Could he truly prove to you that he was willing to make amends, to become someone worthy of your trust? After a long pause, you finally spoke.
ā€œOne chance, Mattheo. Thatā€™s all you get. And you have to earn it.ā€
A flicker of hope lit up his face as he nodded, determination replacing the despair.
ā€œIā€™ll do whatever it takes,ā€
He promised, his voice steady and resolute.
ā€œI wonā€™t let you down this time.ā€
Over the next few weeks, Mattheo set out to prove his sincerity. He showed up for you in small, consistent ways. He was there to walk you to classes, to bring you coffee in the mornings, to listen when you needed to vent about your day. Slowly, he chipped away at the wall youā€™d built around your heart, his gestures becoming more genuine, more heartfelt. He wasnā€™t just charming or persuasive; he was present, dependable, and vulnerable in a way youā€™d never seen before. Gradually, you found yourself softening, the anger dissolving as you saw the effort he was making. He was trying, truly trying, to be someone worthy of your love. And with each passing day, you felt yourself falling for him again, but this time, it was different. This time, you were certain he wasnā€™t hiding behind a mask. One evening, as the two of you sat beneath a starlit sky, he turned to you, his expression nervous but hopeful.
ā€œY/N, I know Iā€™ve said it before, but I want you to hear it again. I love you. And Iā€™ll keep saying it until you believe it, until I prove that Iā€™m here for you, and only you.ā€
You looked at him, seeing the man heā€™d become, and felt a warmth in your heart that you hadnā€™t felt in a long time.
ā€œI believe you, Mattheo,ā€
You whispered, a soft smile playing on your lips.
ā€œI believe you.ā€
And as he pulled you into his arms, you knew that this time, it was real. You knew that he was yours, and that you were his, in a way that felt like coming home. The past hadnā€™t vanished, but it had given way to a new beginning. Together, you found a love that was honest, true, and unbreakable, a love that had grown from the ashes of hurt and transformed into something beautiful. And in that moment, beneath the stars, you knew that this was the happy ending youā€™d both been searching for.
ā”ˆā”ˆćƒ»ą­Ø āœ¦ ą­§ćƒ»ā”ˆā”ˆ
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Have a wonderful day and/or night my angels, mwah!!
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vampirade Ā· 8 months ago
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reaching for my colored pencils and stickers
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bueris Ā· 6 months ago
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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead
#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere#i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art#but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely#certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like#university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government#i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour#party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead#also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be#idk#it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking#also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most#part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still#i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going#the way i wanna#I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life#if not then gap year to work it out#should probably look at unis for english language too then#sigh#ucas website i may as well marry you#ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up#yeah#shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical#they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices#crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that#why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine#bue waffling#vent post
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heyitslapis Ā· 2 months ago
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Ok
#kinda vent post cause ive been anxious ever since we got coffee this evening#I promise I'm not trying to be weird or anything. I'm just#I just really don't want to screw this up. I know we spent almost the last year avoiding each other#And I know things between us were rocky for a bit before that#and I hope I'm not overwhelming you. I know things won't be better overnight#I know we've distanced so much and theres so much awkward history there. I know things are different now#And I respect that. I respect your relationship and your new life. I'm not trying to impose or make you uncomfortable#I'm just anxious and tbh scared an nervous too. I don't want to fuck this up. If theres a chance for us to be close friends again I want it#Im so so so scared of fucking it up. I feel like I forgot how to be friends & after the way I left things Im scared that I lost my chance#I'm scared that it's not gonna work and that a permanent goodbye is in our future. I'm scared that you won't want me around after all#I would understand if that became the case.. but I really don't want that#I cant text you this without seeming like an overbearing clingy anxious mess of an ex but ive been on the verge of a panic attack all night#just for the fear that I'm fucking up already somehow. Just the fear that this isn't going to work and I shouldn't even try#I think I spent so long avoiding you that now I don't know what to do with myself. But I'm trying to be normal#I promise I dont have any motives other than missing a really great friendship and being tired of missing friends#And maybe I still have a ways to go in the emotional healing department but I think I'm ok enough to try. I've been ok for a while now#If you see this please know that I mean every word. If you never see it thats ok because I just need to get it off my chest before I burst#I don't want to scare you off or lose you again. if thats what it comes to then know I'll always miss and appreciate you for all my days#Thats all. Ive been a ball of nerves all evening & I just needed to air this out cause having this weight sitting on my chest is too much#emma rambles#personal#vent post
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therosevest Ā· 7 months ago
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and is there not just generally a certain level of decency that would make you like ease up on a person who's obviously more than a little frazzled i am sorry that i cant process all my feelings and regurgitate them to you in an easily digestible manner while im actively In a situation or have a prepared disclaimer about how im so sorry but im just overwhelmed and need you to leave me alone right now or whatever else maybe i just dont know maybe i cant tell you exactly what im feeling or need and if i have to figure it out and explain that to you my brain is going to explode. but you could read the room. is there not a point where a friend would probably just go oh okay let me not continue pushing this person let me take a moment to reflect on their state and perhaps try to ease that or at least not keep fucking pushing on it. and also maybe not choose these moments to make otherwise innocuous but contextually just kinda meanspirited jabs. ok whatever
#not to be a sensitive little bitch except im not.#i dont want to be rude or too explicitly open about the things i dont really like to talk about#but sometimes. frankly. people need to take on the weight of their own feelings. insecurities. thoughts. etc and then some#some of us grew up with little to no emotional support and in fact took on the weight of their family's issues and the brunt of their#emotional immaturity and sometimes that makes someone feel fundamentally rattled and unsafe in moments like that#some of us had pretty much every big personal emotional. thing. that happened to them minimized and turned into some tragic#family conversation. or had someone reply like huh idk if that could have happened to you i certainly dont remember that#and then you wonder if people were ever looking out for you and if the ones that did just truly didnt care.#um. anyway. this is not just to be like oh im so quirky and different and traumatized lol but im reaching a boiling point when it comes#to people just like. doing this shit. or whatever. im going to start screaming#i shouldnt have to bare my fucking soul to you for you to go oh huh maybe this is a sensitive subject perhaps#frankly we arent the same and we dont relate and aw bummerooni ik im not the only sufferer but good god.#our lives were very different in some ways!#and sometimes all i want is for someone to say its ok kid you did good#again. not to be dramatic. but when ive talked about MY upheaval of feelings or w/e like if thats been impacting#how ive been acting and people start crying at me or get all whatever. oh it makes me wanna be the one to pass the torch#yeah man imagine how tired we are.#ok talking incoherently now so im gonna go do my job i guess.#abby talks#i know no one will save me but maybe sometimes itā€™d be nice to share the weight regardless
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gatun-gatunesco Ā· 1 year ago
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...
#and so i came back here. because in here i can find joy and sorrow. laugh a little and cry a lot because someone made a post i resonate with#it makes me feels understood. a private and intimate place that is also shared at the same time. and strangely; like a home#but i came back without knowing who i am. I see someone else in the mirror. Is that a monster? a sinner? a human? a normal man?#after all that effort leaving depression and self hate from my adolescence behind. from being proud of myself for being different to all me#was all a lie? how could i do such awful and terrible thing to the person i swore to protect? the person i love the most#i said i would never do that kind of unforgivable act. And here i am. Alive after the event. I want to drop dead. To dissapear from here.#But at the same time i want to fix what i did. in order to do that i need to heal. to change. be happy. to live. and i hate it#how can i do all of that with the weight of guilt crushing me and telling me i killed myself that day? i am just a shell of who i was#how to change what i thought was the best version of me? i was supposed to be different no harmful and kind man!!!#i already asked for help. and they told me it was not all my fault. But i still think it is. There is no way it can be 50/50#physical actions are only responsibility of the ones who made it. circumstances are not a reason to diminish them guilt#a confused person is not deserving of any part of the guilt. they do not have control over themselves. but the other ones sure have it#yes. they might have started and added little physical actions. but i refused and it never came to completion. which is the opposite of min#physical trauma can spawn emotional and mental trauma as well. is way more bad and deep that the emotional one i might have#i want to kill that trash in front of the mirror. why are you still living bitch? just to be a parasite and hurt people on the go?#to make irreversible mistakes that affects every person around you? your decisions never end well. why do not you just give up already?#and yet here i am. trying to not isolate myself thanks to the safe place i found here. I can write what is on my mind. gives me some relief#because the only person i talked everyday is the same one i hurted as i never thought i would in my life#Hope i can found redemption one day. I hope they can heal and be happy soon and forever.#I am going to always be worry about them (i am sure of that) but i wish nothing but the best for them. I want nothing to hurt them again.#They never deserved the trauma and guilt. They suffered more than enough way before i step in and fucked up everything.#Life. if you can hear me. Please give them recovery. happyness. health and lots of love. They deserve it. Please#They did nothing wrong! Take them pain away and put it in me. I will stay alive just for that if is neccesary#I wanted to kill myself way long ago. but i still here. I might want to kill myself again. but i still will be here.#Just leave them be happy. That is what i really want
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euthymiya Ā· 25 days ago
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ā€œDid you knowā€”ā€
ā€œI donā€™t care,ā€ Sukuna interrupts, wholly disinterested. Itā€™s half past threeā€”(which is, of course, his fault, but that doesnā€™t mean heā€™s any less tired).
But you, wholly uncaring, promptly ignore him. ā€œā€”That some female spiders eat the male ones after mating?ā€
ā€œWhat do you want me to do with this information?ā€ He looks at you irritably, glaring at you from the corner of his eyes. You flash him a grinā€”itā€™s a mischievous little thing, your lips curled in a cheeky, flirty way that warns him silently that heā€™s about to risk popping another vein. He seems to do that around you quite often, and it certainly feels like itā€™s underway once more.
(And, as it always is, his intuition would be right).
ā€œItā€™s a warning,ā€ you hum.
He snorts, raising a clearly disbelieving brow as he hums, ā€œoh yeah? For what? Are you gonnaā€”wha-hey!ā€
Not a lot catches Sukuna off guard. You giggle as he barks out a surprised yelp of your name, harshly shoving you away from his chest. Thereā€™s a nice, fresh, very crystal and very clear outline of your teeth marked right on the flesh surrounding his nipple.
He looks at you like youā€™ve lost your mind.
ā€œWhat the fuck is wrong with you?ā€ He asks incredulously.
You let out a soft, amused little giggle that sounds through the room before he feels your weight shift and fall onto him, making him grunt as his arms steady you and his eyes stare up at your hovering face with an agitated purse of his lips.
ā€œIā€™m eating you,ā€ you say cheekily, ā€œsee?ā€ For emphasis, you leave an equally as shocking bite to his bicep, your head leaning down to get a mouthful of his bare arm. He lets out a low, startled grunt before one large and very firm hand grabs the back of your neck and yanks you off.
ā€œHave you completely lost it?ā€ He hisses.
ā€œWe just matedā€”ā€
ā€œWho on Earth talks about sex like that? We are not animals whoā€”ā€
ā€œā€”And now Iā€™m going to eat you after mating. Like a female spider.ā€
ā€œIf youā€™re going to be weird, just go the fuck to sleep,ā€ he grumbles lowly.
Sukuna is tired.
(And yes, the reason is partly because heā€™s a bit inexhaustible once heā€™s felt the velvet heat of your walls, and yes, itā€™s technically his own greediness thatā€™s worn him out so physically for the night. But thatā€™s all been the cost for something of greater benefit to him. Something he doesnā€™t exactly mind draining his energy for.
Bur your odd, unsettling, abnormal and very plainly weird schemes are not a part of the list of things heā€™s willing to sacrifice his energy for. There isnā€™t much pleasure in entertaining your nonsense most of the time.
If anything, thereā€™s painā€”the stinging bite marks on his skin can attest to that.)
ā€œIā€™m not tired,ā€ you hum.
ā€œThen let me make you tired,ā€ he offers smugly, lips tugging into a cocky grin as he looks up at you.
ā€œIf you didnā€™t manage that the first time, what makes you think thatā€™ll work the second?ā€ You tease.
He doesnā€™t seem to like that very much, because with a growl, he pushes the back of your neck until your face falls into the crook of his neck, a strong, bulky arm wrapping around your waist and keeping you in place against his body.
Itā€™d be awfully intimate, and awfully sweet if he didnā€™t mumble, ā€œI love when you sleep because itā€™s the only few hours of the day I get to hear you shut the fuck up.ā€
ā€œMaybe if youā€™d just appreciated my fun factā€”ā€
ā€œYou bit my fucking nipple.ā€
ā€œI could bite the other one, too, if you want,ā€ you pipe up with an excited grin. He can feel it pressed against his skin as your face buries deeper into the space between his neck and shoulder.
Sukuna is tired. Most of the time, itā€™s because of you. All of the time, he chooses to allow it because he likes having you around for a good fuck.
(And, of course, thereā€™s all that bullshit about love and affection, too. But thatā€™s just that odd stuff you like to babble aboutā€”that odd, unsettling, abnormal and very plainly weird emotional part of you that somehow ropes him into being the same way every once in a while.
He doesnā€™t like it.)
ā€œYou need a lobotomy,ā€ he mutters, wincing when you bite the skin of his neck in response. Not in a manner he likes, eitherā€”very much in a manner that makes sure he feels the sharpness of your incisors.
ā€œDonā€™t be rude,ā€ you scold, ā€œIā€™m biologically meant to be your predator.ā€
ā€œYou biologically give me fuckinā€™ migraines.ā€
You grinā€”itā€™s a smile thatā€™s easy. Smooth. Maybe a little giddy, too. It comes out only around Sukuna. Him and his gruff, rugged way of accepting your affection, and his double as rough and crude way of giving it back. His callused hands and toughened knuckles that brush along your cheeks carefully. His crass and undignified words that are carefully thought out enough to never cross the line. His downturned lips and narrowed eyes that only ever soften at the sharp corners around you.
ā€œNext time, Iā€™ll eat you for sure,ā€ you murmur, settling against his chest and getting comfortable. He wraps both arms around you, warm and tight enough that you almost think you can forgo the blanket altogether. ā€œAssert my dominance.ā€
ā€œYou canā€™t even open the pickle jar.ā€
ā€œThatā€™s different.ā€
ā€œItā€™s only a matter of time until natural selection gets you,ā€ he snickers quietly. You huff, biting back a smile as he yawns.
Gently, with a kiss over the bite mark you left against his neck, you say softly, ā€œgoodnight. Love you.ā€
ā€œNight.ā€
ā€œI love you.ā€
ā€œFor the love ofā€”love you too, holy fuck. Go to sleep.ā€
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gor3sigil Ā· 4 months ago
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Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didnā€™t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying ā€œI am a manā€. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.
I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like ā€œI know weā€™re the privileged ones butā€¦ā€, ā€œI donā€™t want to sound like I have it bad butā€¦ā€, ā€œWomen obviously have it worse, but last timeā€¦ā€ and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didnā€™t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.
Most of us werenā€™t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were ā€œstrong enoughā€ to do it by themselves.
I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldnā€™t stay in this body any longer because it wasnā€™t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.
5 years later and Iā€™m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.
I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.
I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.
I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.
I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. Itā€™s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.
I wonā€™t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes ā€œI started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actorā€, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now Iā€™d just have more acne, Iā€™d have longer hair and still look like I donā€™t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.
But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.
I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.
Itā€™s okay to take your time. Itā€™s your body, itā€™s your journey, if you donā€™t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.
If you feel overwhelmed, itā€™s okay to take a break, itā€™s okay to ask for support.
Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didnā€™t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, donā€™t let them.
Itā€™s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that donā€™t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesnā€™t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.
You donā€™t have to have a radical, 180Ā° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far youā€™ve come already. It doesnā€™t have to show, youā€™re not made to be a spectacle, youā€™re human and it is your journey.
Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say ā€œOh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because itā€™s weirdā€ ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It wonā€™t be a waste. It can help people. Or it wonā€™t, and even then, if it helped you, thatā€™s enough.
Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.
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mywritersmind Ā· 2 months ago
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THE BOOTH - LN4
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summary : The booth. A notorious club in the heart of london, where y/n and lando met again after two years of silence.
listen up : fewtrell!reader. She sits in his lap. no smut, just hot and suggestive. creepy guy in the beginning! Prob my fav short iā€™ve written omg
word count : 1732
ā‹†ļ½”ā€§Ėšā‹†
ā€œNo.ā€ I giggle out of uncomfortableness at the man getting closer to me.
ā€œCā€™mon, let me buy you a drink.ā€ the man reeks of alcohol and has fucked up teeth. Iā€™ve seen enough. I pull down the bottom of my mini dress as I stand.
ā€œNo.ā€ I repeat, pushing past him. The club is crowded and sticky, I see my friends but a hand around my wrist pulls me back.
ā€œReally? Too good for me?ā€ He scoffs in my face but the next thing I know heā€™s being pushed away from me.
ā€œShe is.ā€ The voice comes from the man in front of me, the guy who pushed this dickhead away. ā€œPiss off. Sheā€™s with me.ā€
The guy seems intimidated enough because he gives me a dirty look and leaves. ā€œThank y-ā€ I pause when the man turns around.
I pause because the man is my childhood crush, brothers best friend, and fucking formula one driver.
ā€œLando?ā€ Iā€™m genuinely shocked that the britt I havenā€™t seen in two years is standing in front of me.
ā€œY/n!?ā€ He looks me up and down, his mouth open, ā€œFuckā€¦ You look good.ā€ I could say the same for him, in a navy button down, jeans, and his jewelry adorning his hands. Heā€™s ridiculously hot.
I laugh, ā€œCareful Lan, my brother could be lurking.ā€ I switch my weight onto one leg as he smirks.
Max loves Lando. Max loves me.
Therefore, Max HATED the thought of us even speaking. We were all friends in childhood but our teens hit and suddenly I was completely off limits. Iā€™m pretty sure he noticed how much I asked about Lando and swore that he would kill both of us if anything happened.
Someone walks behind him, causing him to get closer, his hand brushing against my hip, ā€œDonā€™t scare me, yeah?ā€
I bite my lip at the thought, we start walking across the room, Landoā€™s hand firmly on me now as he ā€˜guidesā€™ me. ā€œDonā€™t worry. Idiots in Monacoā€¦ which means we have free rein.ā€
I see his jaw clench, his drink slide onto his lips again, ā€œIā€™d like to keep my friendship.ā€
ā€œIā€™d like to lose my panties.ā€ Iā€™m quick to reply, messing with Lando used to be my favorite thing.
You see, Lando is Maxā€™s best friend. He feels bad lying and this would definitely be considered a betrayal of trust.
But for meā€¦ Max is my brother. I can lie and do whatever I want with no remorse. Lando is something I could do easily and as much as it would make me happy to piss off my brother, Norris has always been that one guy in the back of my mind.
ā€œChrist Y/n. Missed your remarks.ā€ We make it to the wall, itā€™s a bit quieter over here.
ā€œYou mean you missed my flirting?ā€ I look up at him, he just bites his lip, hiding his smile.
ā€œI missed you.ā€ He surprises me with this.
ā€œI missed you too.ā€ I push my hand through my hair, ā€œHowā€™ve you been?ā€
ā€œGood. Really good.ā€ He smiles big and I know itā€™s because of his racing.
ā€œWatched your win in Zandvoort.ā€ I sigh, ā€œSimply lovely was brutal.ā€ He rolls his eyes, laughing and leaning his head back on the wall.
ā€œNot you too!ā€
ā€œIt was hilarious! I liked it!ā€ I hit his arm and the way he looks at meā€¦ itā€™s like every emotion that I've tucked away and only opened up in the darkness of my bedroom after midnight, comes out then. ā€œI like this too.ā€
My hand goes to the back of his neck, playing with his curls that shape his baby mullet.
ā€œDonā€™t do that.ā€ He shakes his head, his eyes cut into me, his voice weak.
ā€œWhat?ā€ I say innocently.
ā€œYou always do this.ā€
ā€œDo what, Norris?ā€ Lando never was that much taller than me, but something about the two passed years has changed that.
His tongue runs over his teeth, heā€™s about to say something but two guys appear next to us, ā€œMate! Weā€™ve been looking for you!ā€ Another British man speaks, Alex Albon to be exact.
ā€œFound a friend?ā€ Carlos sainz eyes me, dressed in all black.
I smile at the drivers, Lando eyes Carlos. ā€œMaxā€™s sister. Y/n.ā€ They both nod and look much too interested in how Lando says it, ā€œY/nā€¦ this is Alex and Carlos.ā€
ā€œPleasure.ā€ I smile wide. I am an F1 fan, itā€™s a bit weird seeing Lando on the grid but Iā€™ll sit and watch with Max almost every weekend that weā€™re together.
ā€œPleasures all ours! Iā€™ve always wanted to meet Landoā€™s childhood crush!ā€ Lando hits Carlos, making him grab his stomach, ā€œWorth it!ā€ The Spanish man chokes out.
Lando scratches the back of his neck, not looking at me. ā€œAre you here with anyone?ā€ Alex asks me, I knew he would be nice.
ā€œYeah! Iā€™m not sure where they are butā€¦ā€
ā€œThatā€™s okay. You have us now!ā€ Alex and I end up getting a drink, Lando stays back with Carlos whoā€™s definitely teasing him.
I get a vodka lemonade and four shots. Alex and I are already best friends and laughing so hard that Carlos and Lando wonā€™t stop asking us whatā€™s so funny.
They donā€™t know that I showed Alex a photo of Lando and I as smurfs when we were five.
ā‹†ļ½”ā€§Ėšā‹†
LANDO NORRIS
Describing Y/n is something iā€™ve done many times. To friends, for context in stories, but if iā€™d really describe herā€¦ I donā€™t think I would have an ending point.
Sheā€™s got long blonde hair. She cut it all off when she was fifteen and I almost fainted when I didnā€™t recognize her. She loved it.
Sheā€™s confident, you can see it in her walk. Her hips sway and the click of her heels is something I'll never forget.
When she talks to you, all attention is on you, her eyes are hazel, appearing brown in the dark but if you get close enoughā€¦ youā€™ll see the green.
She never quite had an awkward stage, always been beautiful, probably always will be. I havenā€™t seen her in years yet she acts like I talked to her yesterday.
Y/n sucks on a lime after her shot, smiling and clapping her hands together, ā€œGod, I feel like iā€™m in highschool!ā€
I obviously didnā€™t go to school with her. Sheā€™s a year younger and Max would non stop complain about her. She was more popular than him, going out, and was basically friends with everyone.
I remind myself again that Max is the reason why my arm is around the couch and not her waist.
ā‹†ļ½”ā€§Ėšā‹†
Y/N
ā€œNorris!ā€ I stand, holding out my hand, ā€œPicture time.ā€ I smile as he stands with me.
ā€œWhat?ā€ Carlos asks.
ā€œCalled the booth for a reason, Sainz!ā€ I grin at the boys, gripping Landoā€™s hand tight and maneuvering us through the crowd.
Thereā€™s one photo booth in the back corner of the club. Itā€™s notorious for famous photos and making everyone look good.
I look back at the boys who all look confused. All except Lando.
We came to the booth when Lando was in town from F2, we were 17 and 18. Max had gone off with some girl and we found ourselves in this exact booth.
We swore never to talk about it.
But Iā€™m all for repeating history.
ā€œFewtrellā€¦ā€ He warns in my ear as we walk to the starred booth.
I glance back, dragging out his name, ā€œNorris.ā€
He gets in first, unlike us as teens, only one person can fit. I smile and watch Landoā€™s face drop, I sit down on his lap, ā€œPlaying with fire here, love.ā€ he says in my ear.
ā€œI donā€™t mind getting burned.ā€ He slips two coins in, his hand moving to my waist and holding me steady.
We smile first.
SNAP
I move a bit and give him bunny ears.
SNAP
Lando clears his throat, gripping my skin tighter as he looks at me. I move again, my skirt riding up a bit. ā€œTrying to kill me?ā€
I smile and kiss his cheek, feeling something hard against me.
SNAP
ā€œOf course.ā€ I look at him, ā€œThe memories in hereā€¦ You remember?ā€
ā€œIā€™d be an idiot to forget.ā€
His hand moves down my hip, closer to my thigh. I look at him again as the photo booth starts up for the second time, ā€œI shouldnā€™t.ā€ He whispers, my face centimeters from his. I hear the whistles outside.
I shift once more, turning more to him. He groans, his head falling backwards and his eyes closing, ā€œGive me a good reason.ā€
SNAP
He opens his eyes, meeting mine. I know I've got him. My hand rests on his neck, my rings pressing against his skin. He mumbles something but itā€™s too loud, ā€œSpeak up, Norris.ā€
ā€œNever spoken.ā€ His eyes flick to my lips, trying to get me to promise this is a secret.
ā€œNever ever.ā€ He leans in closer.
SNAP
ā€œCome on rule breakerā€¦ I believe in you.ā€ I whisper in his ear and it breaks him. Iā€™m pulling his head closer to me, his lips on mine, a relief like no other.
He grabs ass, pulling me closer in the tiny space. I slip my tongue in his mouth, whimpering a bit. He bites my lip. Iā€™m melting into him. Itā€™s hot and needy but so much more than I could have ever wanted.
SNAP
Kissing Lando at Seventeen was scandalous and drunken. Kissing Lando at Twenty Three flat out sexy.
ā€œNeed youā€¦ā€ He whispers into the kiss which makes me almost come undone right then and there.
Someone bangs on the booth, ā€œAlright Lovebirds!ā€ Lando laughs but I'm the one to pull away.
ā€œI canā€™t leave this booth.ā€ He says quickly, his face red and sweaty.
ā€œYouā€™ll be fine-ā€ I understand what heā€™s talking about when I go to leave and something brushes against my leg, ā€œOh.ā€
He looks away from me, blushing.
I smile, proud of myself for the boner and his pink cheeks, ā€œAw come on! Iā€™ll cover you.ā€ I wink and he rolls his eyes, He walks out behind me, his arms firmly on my waist again.
The two drivers grin at us, ā€œYou covering a boner?ā€ Carlos starts but gets punched for the second time tonight by Lando. He holds his stomach again, ā€œStill worth it!ā€
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mononijikayu Ā· 9 days ago
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pillowtalk ā€” fushiguro toji.
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So one evening, when the house is peaceful and the two of you are sitting together, watching Megumiā€™s small chest rise and fall as he sleeps, Toji finally lets the words slip out. ā€œDo you thinkā€¦ Megumiā€™s lonely?ā€ His voice is soft, almost tentative. Heā€™s not used to sounding uncertain, but this feels like new territory for him. ā€œLike, maybe heā€™d do better with a sibling?ā€ The question hangs in the air, unspoken emotions carried within it, waiting for your response.
GENRE: alternate universe - canon convergence!;
WARNING/S: fluff, romance, nsfw, r-18, smut, rough sex, breeding kink, overstimulation, body praise, kissing, p-i-v sex, fingering, pet names (baby, babe, wife, mama, etc), profanity, love, humor, light-hearted, married life, being in love, sexual intercourse, intoxication, partying, slice of life, domestic life, family, depictions of sexual acts, depiction of body praise, depiction of naked bodies, mention of sexual innuendo, mention of sexual intercourse, husband! toji, mamaguro! reader;
WORD COUNT: 7k words
NOTE: i think about how mamaguro was taken too soon from toji and megumi and how maybe they were thinking about wanting another kid and just how domestic their life was. i like to think about toji!househusband too fr. like if there was a character that could be the way of the househusband, it would be fushiguro toji, thank you. thank you for listening to my tedtalk!!! anyway, i love you all <3
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HIS LIFE NOW WAS A FAR CRY FROM HIS OLD LIFE. Toji Fushiguro never thought he'd find peace, much less happiness. His life had been a series of battles, betrayals, and constant survival. But then you came along, softening the sharp edges of his world, bringing warmth where there had only been cold.
He remembers the day he first saw you. It was as if the world had found itself in a tailspin and he was in it. His world changed when you came into his life. Everything felt like it was worth finding wonder in.
With how you looked at him with eyes full of understanding, tenderness. There was nothing of pity or grievance. There was always warmth. Warmth he didn't think he would ever deserve. Somehow, you'd seen something in him worth saving, something worth loving.Ā 
You gave him a family, a real familyā€”not just in the blood that runs through his veins but in the small, everyday moments that fill the spaces between. You gave him everything he could ever want. Everything that he thought could only be achieved in dreams.
Mornings over coffee, the sunlight streaming through the kitchen window, your laugh echoing softly through the room. The gentle way you cradle your son, Megumi, in your arms, whispering stories to him with a voice so full of love it makes Tojiā€™s chest ache in the best possible way.
Every time he looks at Megumi, he feels a rush of gratitude so overwhelming it almost brings him to his knees. Your son has his eyes, that piercing gaze that cuts through the nonsense of the world, but he has your smile, that Toji was sure of. He was just as much happy about it too.
When he looked at Megumi, he could find that small, quiet curve that seems to promise the universe that all will be well. It was waiting for him on his son's beautiful face as much as it was on your own beautiful lips.
Fushiguro Toji never thought heā€™d care so much about something so trivial, but here he is, caring more than he ever imagined possible. His son's smile brought him as much joy to see as it does when you too smile at him.d
He watches Megumi toddling around the living room, his tiny hands grasping at the air as he learns to walk, determination etched on his face. Toji's heart swells with a fierce kind of pride.
In moments like these, he understands what people mean when they talk about the best things in life. Itā€™s not the money, the power, or the next fight to win. Itā€™s his sonā€™s first steps, the weight of your hand in his, the soft, steady rhythm of your breathing beside him at night.
You've given him a homeā€”not just a house with walls and a roof but a place where he feels like he belongs, where he isn't running from shadows or haunted by the ghosts of his past. A place where, for the first time in his life, he feels like he deserves to stay.
Toji never thought heā€™d be here, never thought heā€™d be the kind of man who could love so deeply, who could feel so much. But you changed that. You changed everything. And as he stands there, watching Megumi, he knows that this right here, right now is the happiest heā€™s ever been.
Tojiā€™s gaze shifts from Megumi to you, who are quietly watching the two of them with a serene smile. Your presence brings a calm to the chaos that once defined his life. The way you hold Megumiā€™s tiny hand as he wobbles toward you, the soft encouragement in your voice, it all creates a sanctuary that Toji never thought heā€™d find.
In the evenings, when the world quiets down and the house is bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun, Toji often finds himself reflecting on how far heā€™s come. He thinks about the days when his future seemed so uncertain, when the idea of a family felt like an impossible dream. Now, every moment spent with you and Megumi feels like a precious gift, a beautiful reality heā€™d only dared to hope for.
As Megumi eventually collapses into a giggling heap on the floor, Toji chuckles softly. You come over and join them, your laughter mingling with his as you all enjoy the simple joy of being together.
Toji sits back and watches, his heart full. He thinks about the sacrifices heā€™s made and the battles he fought. Each scar, each hard-earned lesson, has led him to this momentā€”the sweetest victory of all.
In the quiet moments, when itā€™s just the three of you, Toji often finds himself lost in thought. He marvels at how youā€™ve created a life filled with warmth and love, and how Megumi is growing up surrounded by everything he never had.
He realizes that his past, with all its pain and darkness, was worth it for the chance to build this future with you. He feels a profound sense of gratitude, not just for what youā€™ve given him, but for the strength and resilience youā€™ve shown in building this family together.
When he tucks Megumi into bed at night, heā€™s reminded of the importance of the little rituals. The way Megumiā€™s eyes flutter closed as Toji reads him a bedtime story, the way he clings to the small toy you both picked out together, and the peaceful sigh he gives as he drifts off to sleep. Toji knows that these moments are fleeting, but they are precious.
As he stands by the doorway, watching over his sleeping son, Toji reaches out and takes your hand. You squeeze it gently, a silent promise of the love and support youā€™ve always given him. He turns to you, his eyes reflecting the depth of his feelings.
ā€œI never thought Iā€™d have a life like this.ā€ he says softly, his voice filled with emotion. ā€œYouā€™ve given me everything I never knew I needed. I donā€™t know how to thank you, but I hope you know how much you mean to me.ā€
You smile, your eyes glistening with love and understanding. ā€œYou donā€™t have to thank me. This our family, our home, its all I ever wanted too. Weā€™ve created something beautiful together, and thatā€™s more than enough.ā€
Toji wraps his arm around you, pulling you close as he gazes once more at the peaceful scene before him. In that moment, he knows that he has everything he could ever ask for. The life he shares with you and Megumi is his greatest achievement, his greatest joy. And as he holds you close, he realizes that this is exactly where heā€™s meant to beā€”home.
The nights are often filled with a gentle stillness, punctuated only by the soft sounds of Megumiā€™s breathing as he sleeps. Toji finds these quiet moments to be some of the most precious. He cherishes the tranquility that envelops your family, feeling as though heā€™s finally found his place of peace after years of turmoil.
In the early mornings, when the first light of dawn filters through the curtains, Toji enjoys watching you and Megumi. He loves the way you wake up with a soft smile, the kind that says everything is right in the world.
As you prepare breakfast, Toji often stands by, watching with admiration. You move through the routine with an ease and grace that mesmerize him, the way you hum a soft tune or how you softly chat with Megumi, turning the mundane into something magical.
Mornings are Tojiā€™s favorite time to bond with his son. He takes Megumi in his arms, holding him close as he prepares to start the day. They play together, their laughter filling the room with an infectious joy that makes Tojiā€™s heart swell.
He sees so much of you in Megumi; Everything he loves about you blossomed in your beautiful son. Megumi had the same curious eyes, the same warm smileā€”and it makes him fall in love with both of you all over again.
On weekends, the family often goes on small adventures. Whether itā€™s a stroll through the park, a visit to a nearby museum, or a picnic by the river, Toji treasures these outings.
He loves seeing the world through Megumiā€™s eyes, watching as his son discovers new things and experiences the simple joys of life. He takes pride in being a part of these moments, knowing that heā€™s helping to create cherished memories for his family.
At night, after Megumi is asleep and the house quiets down, Toji and you find time to connect. These moments of solitude are a chance to share your thoughts and dreams, to reflect on the day and plan for the future.
The conversations are often deep and meaningful, touching on everything from hopes and fears to the little details of daily life. Itā€™s in these conversations that Toji feels most connected to you, realizing how deeply you understand and support him.
Sometimes, Toji thinks back to the days when his life was filled with chaos and uncertainty. He canā€™t believe how far heā€™s come, how much heā€™s changed. And every time he looks at you or Megumi, heā€™s reminded of just how much heā€™s gained. The family heā€™s built with you is a testament to the love and resilience you both share.
As he drifts off to sleep beside you, Toji feels a profound sense of contentment. The days are filled with laughter and love, the nights with peace and connection. He knows that his past is behind him, that heā€™s finally found the life he was meant to have.
In the quiet darkness, Toji holds you close, grateful for the life youā€™ve created together. Heā€™s found something he never thought possibleā€”a home, a family, and a love that makes everyday worth living.
And as he whispers a quiet ā€œthank youā€ into the night, he knows that the greatest gift heā€™s ever received is the love and happiness you and Megumi have brought into his life.
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HE REALLY THINKS THIS IS THE BEST LIFE ANYONE CAN ASK FOR. Fushiguro Toji enjoys the life youā€™ve built together. He really does. But lately, a thought has been lingering in his mind, one that keeps surfacing during the quiet moments.
He wonders if maybe life would be even better, fullerā€”if you and he were to give Megumi a sibling. Itā€™s not that he doesnā€™t love the way things are now. Ever since Megumi was born, everything shifted naturally; your priorities changed, and together, youā€™ve navigated this new life of parenthood seamlessly.Ā 
But still, Toji canā€™t help but worry. Megumi is growing up fastā€”already past his first birthday and nearing his second. Heā€™s independent in his own quiet way, rarely showing interest in playing with other kids when given the chance. Toji wonders if maybe itā€™s because Megumi feels a little lonely, being an only child.Ā 
Toji doesnā€™t voice these thoughts out loud often, but they weigh on his mind. Youā€™ve both done well to balance your lives, your love, and your responsibilities. But he imagines another child, a little sibling for Megumiā€”someone to share those quiet afternoons and keep him company.
Maybe itā€™s time to think about it, he muses. After all, family has always been at the center of his thoughts, and adding to yours feels like the natural next step.
Your husband hasnā€™t brought it up yet, not directly. Itā€™s hard for him to find the right moment, the right words. Heā€™s not one for long conversations or deep discussions, but you know him well enough to notice when something is on his mind.
Lately, heā€™s been watching Megumi more closely, observing the way your son plays quietly by himself, content in his little world but lacking the spark of excitement that other kids seem to find when surrounded by their peers.
Heā€™s seen it when youā€™re both at the park, Megumi clinging to your leg instead of running around with the other children. He doesnā€™t push itā€”Megumi is still young, and Toji knows better than anyone that everyone moves at their own pace.
But the nagging thought remains: maybe what Megumi needs isnā€™t just more playdates or time with other kids. Maybe he needs someone at home, a sibling to grow up with, to bond with. Someone whoā€™ll always be there, someone whoā€™ll understand him in a way only a sibling can.
In those quiet moments when the house is calm, and Megumi is tucked away in bed, Toji imagines what it might be like. The sounds of laughter from another room, two pairs of small feet running down the hallway.
The way youā€™d smile, holding another little one in your arms. The thought makes him feel warm, something he doesnā€™t experience often. Itā€™s not just about Megumi anymore, he knows that too well. Itā€™s also about the life youā€™re building, the family youā€™ve already started. And deep down, he knows he wants to keep growing it.
Still, he wonders how youā€™ll feel about it. Youā€™ve both been so focused on Megumi, on making sure heā€™s happy and cared for. Will you think itā€™s too soon? Will you worry about the shift it would cause in your lives again, the added responsibility?
These thoughts swirl in his mind as he considers how to approach the subject. He doesnā€™t want to push, but the desire is there, quietly persistent, tugging at him with each passing day.
So one evening, when the house is peaceful and the two of you are sitting together, watching Megumiā€™s small chest rise and fall as he sleeps, Toji finally lets the words slip out.
ā€œDo you thinkā€¦ Megumiā€™s lonely?ā€ His voice is soft, almost tentative. Heā€™s not used to sounding uncertain, but this feels like new territory for him. ā€œLike, maybe heā€™d do better with a sibling?ā€
The question hangs in the air, unspoken emotions carried within it, waiting for your response.
You pause for a moment, taking in Tojiā€™s words. Itā€™s not a question you expected, but knowing him, you realize this has been on his mind for a while. His concern for Megumi is clear, and the idea of giving your son a sibling is something youā€™ve thought about before, though not as seriously. But now, hearing it from Toji, you realize itā€™s more than just a passing thoughtā€”itā€™s a real possibility.Ā 
You glance over at Megumi, fast asleep in his crib, peaceful and unaware of the weight of this conversation. Heā€™s always been a quiet, introspective child, and itā€™s trueā€”he doesnā€™t seem to enjoy the company of other kids all that much.
Your little boy is happy to be around you both, that was true enough. He always loves spending time with you both. But with other kids? It's a tough crowd when it comes to your little boy.Ā 
But youā€™ve always assumed heā€™d grow out of it, that heā€™d find his own way to connect. Still, thereā€™s a small part of you that wonders if Toji is right. Maybe Megumi is lonely, and maybe the best thing for him would be to have a sibling to share his life with.
You shift closer to Toji, resting your head against his shoulder. ā€œI donā€™t know, baby.ā€ you admit softly. ā€œMaybe. He does seem to keep to himself a lotā€¦ but heā€™s still so young. Do you really think a sibling would make a difference?ā€
Toji lets out a low sigh, his arm wrapping around you as he considers his words. ā€œI think it could. I mean, I didnā€™t grow up with much family, and I turned outā€¦ā€ He trails off, a hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. ā€œWell, letā€™s just say I donā€™t want that for Megumi. He deserves more.ā€
You smile at his attempt to lighten the mood, but the thought lingers in your mind. Tojiā€™s childhood was differentā€”lonely in a way that you know he doesnā€™t talk about often. Maybe thatā€™s why this means so much to him. Maybe he wants Megumi to have something he never did.
ā€œYou think weā€™re ready for that?ā€ you ask, glancing up at him. Itā€™s a big decision, one that would change everything, again. But thereā€™s something comforting about the idea, too. ā€œI mean with how busy we are and Megumiā€¦ā€
Youā€™ve seen Toji with Megumi, the way heā€™s softened since becoming a father. And you love it. More than anything, it was what you think that fulfilled your life ā€” making Toji a father and building a family. him.
But you havenā€™t thought about it just yet. But now that youā€™re thinking about itā€¦.the thought of adding another little one to your family, watching Toji bond with another child, feels right in a way that you hadnā€™t fully realized until now.
Toji meets your gaze, his expression more serious now. ā€œI think we are. Itā€™s not gonna be easy, but nothing ever is, right? We made it work with Megumi, and weā€™ll make it work again.ā€
His confidence reassures you, and the weight of the decision starts to feel less overwhelming. Youā€™re not just thinking about yourselves anymore; youā€™re thinking about Megumi and the family youā€™re building together.
You lean into him, letting his warmth and the quiet of the evening wrap around you both. ā€œOkay, okayā€¦.ā€ you say softly, the decision settling into your chest. ā€œLetā€™s think about it. For Megumi. For us.ā€
Toji presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head, his arms tightening around you. ā€œYeah,ā€ he murmurs, his voice full of something deeper than just words. ā€œFor all of us.ā€
But thinking was one thing. Acting on it, especially when the two of you were so deeply drawn to each otherā€”was something entirely different. Whenever the subject of expanding your family surfaced in conversation, it wasnā€™t long before the connection between you and Toji shifted into something more intense, more immediate.
There was an undeniable pull between you, something that seemed to ignite in the quiet moments when you were alone together, reminding you just how much you desired one another.
It would often happen in the evening, after a long day of work. The two of you would settle into the comfort of your apartment, exhaustion slipping away as you relaxed on the couch after dinner.
Toji would always keep you close, one arm draped over your shoulders, his hand absently tracing patterns on your skin. The world outside would fade as you settled into your quiet bubble, just the two of you in the stillness of the night.
And then, it would happen slowly at first, with a shared glance, a quiet breath, and the unspoken understanding that there was something deeper simmering beneath the surface.
Toji, always so sure in his movements, would gently guide you from the couch to the soft embrace of the bed, laying you down against the pillow with deliberate care, as if you were something precious. His hands would roam, teasing and familiar, as he removed your clothes piece by piece, his fingers gliding over your skin like heā€™d memorized every inch of you.
By the time his hand slid between your thighs, you were already lost to him, to the way he touched you with a practiced skill that sent shivers down your spine. His fingers worked their way inside you, slow and deliberate at first, drawing out every bit of pleasure as your body responded to him.Ā 
The feeling was electric, the tension between you mounting with each passing second. Tojiā€™s gaze was fixed on you, dark and focused, as if nothing else in the world mattered but the way you were falling apart beneath his touch.
You couldnā€™t think about anything else in those moments, not about the future or about giving Megumi a sibling. All you could focus on was the sensation of Tojiā€™s fingers moving inside you, the heat of his body pressed against yours, and the sound of your breath hitching in your throat as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge.
Toji knew exactly what he was doing. He always did. The way he touched you, the way he whispered your name in that low, gravelly voice; it drove you wild, leaving you breathless and aching for more. You were wrapped up in him, in the way his fingers curled inside you, his thumb brushing over your most sensitive spot with a precision that made your head spin.
Your back arched, hips instinctively rolling against his hand as the pleasure built, your thoughts scattered in every direction except the present moment. Tojiā€™s lips found your neck, his breath hot against your skin as he whispered, ā€œYouā€™re all mine,ā€ his voice thick with want.
And in that moment, you were. Completely, entirely his. The rest of the world faded away, and all that mattered was the feeling of being lost in him, your body responding to his touch as you let go of everything except the pure, unadulterated pleasure he gave you.
Tojiā€™s fingers moved with a deliberate intensity, his pace quickening as he watched you unravel beneath him. His focus was sharp, every movement calculated to drive you closer to your limit.
You couldnā€™t hold back the sounds that escaped youā€”soft gasps, whispers of his name, every noise pulling him deeper into his need for you. His lips brushed against your skin, kissing along your neck, while his other hand gripped your waist, holding you in place as your body arched against him.
"That's it, baby." he murmured, voice rough and low. The heat between you was almost unbearable, the air thick with the tension that always seemed to surge whenever you were alone together.Ā 
He was lost in you, in the way your body responded to his touch. His fingers curled inside you, hitting just the right spot that made your breath catch, your hips instinctively lifting toward him as the pressure built in your core.
You were so close, the pleasure winding tight within you, and Toji could sense it. His thumb circled your clit with just the right amount of pressure, the sensation sending a jolt of electricity through you.Ā 
"Youā€™re gonna come for me, arenā€™t you?" he whispered, his lips grazing your ear, the command in his voice leaving no room for anything else. "Let go. Iā€™ve got you."
And just like that, the tension inside you snapped. Your body tensed, then released in a flood of warmth and sensation, a wave of pleasure crashing over you as you cried out, hands clutching at the sheets beneath you.
Tojiā€™s fingers didnā€™t stop, drawing every last bit of pleasure from you as he held you through it, his lips pressed against your skin, murmuring soft, unintelligible words of praise.
Your body trembled beneath him, the aftershocks of your orgasm still pulsing through you as you tried to catch your breath. Toji slowly withdrew his fingers, but his touch remained gentle, his hand trailing softly along your thigh as he looked down at you, a satisfied smirk playing at the corners of his lips.
ā€œYouā€™re perfect like this, baby.ā€ he said quietly, almost to himself. His hand moved to brush a strand of hair away from your face, his eyes softening as they met yours. ā€œAlways so damn perfect.ā€
Your body is still coming down from the high when you look at him, the warmth of his breath brushing against your skin as he hovers above you, his smirk deepening. There's a glint in his eyes, that unmistakable fire, as if the conversation youā€™d had earlier is still echoing in the back of his mind.Ā 
You donā€™t even have to think too hard about it; itā€™s like an instinct when you tell him, voice breathless, ā€œI want to give you a baby again.ā€
Tojiā€™s grin widens, his brow arching slightly. ā€œOh, is that right?ā€ he teases, his hand trailing lazily down your side, lingering on your hip. But then he leans in closer, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. ā€œWhatā€™s stopping you then, huh?ā€
You shake your head vigorously, letting out a soft hum of disagreement, not entirely trusting his intentions. Tojiā€™s always been a dirty fucking liar when it comes to things like this, promising things he knows will make you weak, things you know heā€™ll never deliver on.Ā 
Yet somehow, even knowing that, you still find it in yourself to love him. And maybe that's why, despite everything, you still let him have you like this, completely bare, letting him slide into you raw, no barriers between you.
He wastes no time, pushing your legs back, your knees nearly pressed up to your chest as he thrusts into you. The intensity is overwhelming, each deep stroke driving you further into the mattress, making your body shake under his relentless pace.Ā 
Toji's grip is strong, controlling, one hand pinning your thigh back as the other rests on your waist, holding you in place like he owns you. And in these moments, it feels like he does.
He has a hold on you in ways you canā€™t quite explain, two different kinds of controlā€”one physical, the other something deeper, emotional, binding you to him in a way thatā€™s undeniable.
ā€œYouā€™re really getting into it huh, sweetheart?ā€ His voice drips with mock sweetness, but thereā€™s a dark edge to it, each word paired with a heavy, punishing thrust that knocks the breath out of you. ā€œYou want me to fill up that sweet little belly?ā€
His words are a tease, malicious in the way only Toji can be, his voice laced with cruel affection. His grin matches it, sharp and selfish, as if he knows exactly what heā€™s doing to you, how every filthy promise pushes you closer to the brink. Your mind is spinning, caught between wanting to resist and wanting to give in completely.
Then, his pace slows slightly, his hand gripping your jaw as he forces you to look up at him, his gaze locking with yours. The teasing drops, replaced with something far more commanding. His eyes burn with an intensity that makes your stomach flip, and his voice, low and rough, sends shivers down your spine.
ā€œGimme fuckinā€™ words, baby.ā€ he growls, his tone leaving no room for disobedience. ā€œI need words.ā€
Your breath hitches, the weight of his command settling heavy in the pit of your stomach. You know what heā€™s asking forā€”he needs to hear it from you, needs the affirmation that youā€™re his, that you want this just as much as he does. His pace haughtily picks up again, a merciless rhythm, every thrust driving deeper as he waits for your response.
ā€œIā€”ā€ you try to catch your breath, your voice shaky as you struggle to form the words. But the sensation is too much, the way heā€™s filling you, stretching you, making it hard to think about anything but the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your body. ā€œI want you,ā€ you finally manage, voice barely above a whisper.
Tojiā€™s dark green eyes narrow slightly, unsatisfied with your answer. He grabs your chin harder, his pace growing even more ruthless. ā€œThatā€™s not enough, baby.ā€ he growls, his voice a dangerous rasp. ā€œTell me. What do you want?ā€
Your mind is foggy, body trembling beneath him, and you can feel yourself on the edge again, teetering close to the point of no return. His dominance over you in this moment is absolute, and you canā€™t fight it, canā€™t resist the pull of his command.Ā 
ā€œI want you to fill me up, babe.ā€ you finally gasp, your words spilling out in a rush, almost desperate. ā€œI want your baby, Toji.ā€
His response is immediate, a low, satisfied groan rumbling from his chest as he picks up the pace, driving into you with a newfound intensity.
ā€œThatā€™s my good girl right there, hm?ā€ he growls, his grip tightening as he slams into you with brutal force, his voice thick with satisfaction. ā€œYouā€™re gonna take all of me, arenā€™t you? Gonna let me give you exactly what you asked for.ā€
Your body answers for you, already falling apart beneath him as his words send you spiraling into another wave of pleasure. Every thrust pushes you deeper into the mattress, your legs shaking, your breath ragged as Toji takes whatā€™s his, just like he always does.
And even through the haze of pleasure, you know thereā€™s no escaping him. Toji has youā€”mind, body, and soulā€”and thereā€™s nothing you wouldnā€™t give him, nothing you wouldnā€™t do for him.
Tojiā€™s grip on you tightens as the intensity between you both heightens. His hips slam into yours with an unrelenting force, each thrust harder and deeper than the last, driving you closer to the edge with every movement.
Your husband was too good at playing this game of pleasure. You were hanging on for dear life, stuck in a pleasurable pandemonium. The rough rhythm of his body against yours, combined with the filthy words spilling from his mouth, sends shockwaves through your entire being.
ā€œYeah, thatā€™s it, baby.ā€ he growls, his voice dark with possession. ā€œYouā€™re gonna let me fill you up, huh? Make you mine all over again, just like you want.ā€
You can barely form coherent thoughts as your body responds to him, legs trembling with the sheer force of his thrusts. The sounds of your shared breathing, the slap of skin against skin, and the creak of the mattress fill the room, an unspoken rhythm between you two thatā€™s as primal as it is intimate.
Youā€™re completely at his mercy, pinned beneath him, helpless to do anything but feel. This man occupies everything in you as easily as you breathe. And you wanted him. You wanted more of him.
ā€œTojiā€”ā€ you gasp, his name leaving your lips like a prayer, your nails digging into his shoulders, holding on to him for dear life. Your whole world narrows down to this moment, the heat of his body on yours, the way heā€™s completely taken over your senses.
He releases one of your legs, shifting slightly to lean down, his lips brushing against your ear, hot and heavy with every breath. ā€œYouā€™re gonna take all of it, arenā€™t you?ā€ he murmurs, his tone laced with both a command and a dark kind of affection. ā€œEvery last drop.ā€
His words send a jolt through you, pushing you closer to the edge youā€™ve been teetering on. The pressure builds inside you, winding tight in your belly, threatening to snap at any second. And Toji knows it. He can feel the way your body clenches around him, the way your breath hitches with every thrust.
ā€œSay it again, baby.ā€ he demands, his pace somehow growing even more brutal, hips pounding into you relentlessly. ā€œTell me what you want.ā€
Your heart races, and it takes everything in you to gasp out the words between broken breaths. ā€œI want you to fill me upā€¦ I want your baby, Toji, pleaseā€”ā€ Your voice is desperate, the plea tumbling out before you can stop it.
The satisfaction in his eyes is unmistakable, his lips curving into a wicked grin as he growls in response. ā€œGood girl.ā€
And with that, he pushes you over the edge. Your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, your body convulsing beneath him as the pleasure crashes through you, wave after wave, your voice breaking as you cry out.
Toji doesnā€™t stop, his thrusts driving deeper, harder, drawing every last bit of pleasure from you until youā€™re left trembling, barely able to catch your breath.
Heā€™s close too; you can feel it in the way his movements grow more erratic, his grip on your hips tightening as he chases his own release. He lets out a low, guttural moan, his pace faltering for a moment before he slams into you one final time, his hips flush against yours as he fills you completely, the warmth of him spilling deep inside you.
Tojiā€™s body goes tense for a brief second, and then he collapses against you, his breath ragged and heavy as he rides out the last waves of his release. His hand moves to brush a strand of hair from your face, his eyes softened now, the intense fire in them dimmed into something more tender.
He presses a kiss to your forehead, still holding you close, his chest rising and falling with each heavy breath. ā€œYouā€™re perfect, perfectttt. Just like that, baby.ā€ he murmurs, his voice quieter now, the raw edge gone. ā€œEvery damn time.ā€
Youā€™re still catching your breath, your body exhausted but sated, the warmth of him pressed against you grounding you in the moment. Thereā€™s something comforting in the way he holds you after, a quiet reassurance that, despite his teasing and rough exterior, thereā€™s a deep connection between you both that runs far beyond words.
Tojiā€™s body stays pressed against yours, his breathing still heavy as he recovers from the intensity of what you just shared. The room feels warm, the quiet between you filled with the soft sounds of your breathing, the lingering sensation of him still deep inside you. For a moment, itā€™s peaceful, like youā€™re both floating in the afterglow.
But that peace doesnā€™t last long.
You feel him stir against you, his lips brushing over your skin, trailing soft kisses along your collarbone. His hand slides over your waist, fingers tracing lazy circles on your bare skin. Thereā€™s a shift in the air, a subtle change in his energy that you recognize immediately. Heā€™s not doneā€”not even close.
Your husband recovers so fast, you couldn't even help but wonder what sort of super human he is. When he gets excited, he won't stop until he makes that excitement have fulfilment. And Fushiguro Toji will take an take. His monster of pleasure demands to be full.
ā€œTojiā€¦ā€ you whisper, your voice already betraying the anticipation thatā€™s starting to build again. You feel his smirk against your skin, the low chuckle that vibrates through his chest as he kisses his way up to your neck, nipping softly at your pulse point.
ā€œYou didnā€™t think I was finished with you, did you? Need for my come to take, baby. Need to give you as much as possible.ā€ he murmurs, voice dark with intent. His hand moves down, fingers grazing the inside of your thigh, teasing, as if testing your readiness for whatā€™s to come. ā€œBesides, baby, Iknow you can take more. You always do.ā€
Before you can even respond, Toji pulls out of you slowly, the absence of him leaving you aching, only to have him slide back in a moment laterā€”deeper, harder, the sudden stretch drawing a sharp gasp from your lips. He groans softly, his hands gripping your hips as he starts moving, this time with a slower, more deliberate rhythm.
His hips roll against yours, each thrust precise, dragging out the sensation with agonizing slowness. You can feel him fully, every inch of him stretching you, filling you up completely as he starts to build up the intensity again. Your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, pulling him closer, urging him to take more of you.
ā€œTojiā€”ā€ you moan, your hands finding their way to his shoulders, fingers digging into the firm muscles of his back as he presses you deeper into the mattress.
ā€œShh, baby. ā€ he whispers, leaning down so that his lips are inches from yours, his breath hot against your skin. ā€œIā€™m gonna take my time with you, like I always do. You'd let me, won't you, mama?ā€
And he does. He moves at his own pace, each thrust measured and controlled, as if heā€™s savoring every second of being inside you. His eyes lock onto yours, that commanding intensity from earlier returning as he watches every reaction you give him.
Itā€™s almost too much, the way heā€™s making you feel so exposed, so vulnerable beneath him, but you canā€™t tear your gaze away. Youā€™re completely at his mercy. Perhaps even more than before. It was just the way it was between the two of you. And you can't help but want it.
His hand moves between your bodies, fingers finding your clit, rubbing in slow, tight circles that send sparks shooting through your core. The combination of his deep, deliberate thrusts and the focused attention on your most sensitive spot is overwhelming, and you can already feel the pressure building again, faster this time.
ā€œYouā€™re such a good baby girl, my little wife, huh?ā€ he groans, his voice gravelly with desire. ā€œYou love it, donā€™t you? Love the way I fuck you, mama.ā€
You nod, unable to form words, your body reacting to him instinctively. His thick thumb presses harder against your clit, and your hips buck up toward him, chasing the pleasure thatā€™s building so quickly itā€™s almost dizzying.
ā€œUse your words, my baby. I need your words to be clear, hm?ā€ he orders, his voice sharp and commanding. ā€œTell me how much you love it.ā€
ā€œIā€” I love it, babe. Iā€¦.Ohā€“ā€ you gasp, barely able to get the words out as the pleasure coils tight inside you. ā€œI love how you fuck me, Toji.ā€
ā€œThatā€™s it, baby. Good girl, my pretty wife.ā€ he groans, his pace picking up as he drives into you harder now, more relentlessly. ā€œYouā€™re gonna come for me again, arenā€™t you? Like the good little wife you are? Gonna make me a daddy again, huh?ā€
You can feel yourself getting closer, every nerve in your body on fire as he takes you right to the edge again. His hand doesnā€™t stop, rubbing firm circles against your clit, and the pressure inside you becomes unbearable.
ā€œToji, pleaseā€”ā€ you moan, your voice desperate.
ā€œI know, baby, I know.ā€ he whispers, his pace quickening, his thrusts becoming rougher, more erratic as he chases his own release. ā€œCome for me. I want to feel you fall apart again.ā€
His words push you over the edge, and your orgasm crashes through you, harder than before. Your body clenches around him, back arching as your eyes squeeze shut, the pleasure almost too much to handle. Toji groans low in his throat as he feels you tighten around him, his hips slamming into yours as he rides out every wave of your release.
Youā€™re barely coming down from your high when you feel him thrust into you one last time, his grip on your hips bruising as he finally lets go, his own release hitting him hard. He moans your name, the sound of it rough and primal, as he fills you completely, his body going rigid above you.
For a long moment, neither of you move, the room filled with the sounds of your heavy breathing, your bodies still tangled together. Tojiā€™s weight is comforting against you, grounding you as you come back down from the intensity of everything that just happened.
Finally, he pulls out slowly, rolling onto his back beside you. His arm reaches out, pulling you close so that youā€™re curled against his chest, your head resting on his shoulder. Thereā€™s a soft, satisfied hum in his throat as he presses a kiss to your forehead, his fingers lazily stroking your arm.
ā€œYouā€™re something else, baby.ā€ he murmurs, his voice full of lazy affection, though thereā€™s still that edge of satisfaction in it, like he knows exactly how much control he has over you.
You donā€™t need to respondā€”he already knows how deeply he affects you, how much you need him just as much as he needs you. And as you lie there in the quiet, wrapped in each otherā€™s warmth, you canā€™t help but think about how, despite all of Tojiā€™s roughness and teasing, thereā€™s no place youā€™d rather be than here, in his arms. And you wish, so desperately, that you could give him another child.Ā 
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epilogue
The next morning, youā€™re still tangled up in the sheets, but itā€™s not out of luxury. You try to move, but as soon as you shift an inch, your body protests with an aching reminder of exactly what Toji had done to you last night. Every muscle feels like itā€™s been through a battle, and you can't help but groan as you flop back onto the bed, surrendering to the pain.
From the doorway, you hear the sound of little footsteps padding across the floor. Megumi toddles in, clutching a stuffed animal under his arm, his wide eyes peeking over the edge of the bed. Behind him, Toji strides in, smirking like the smug devil he is.
ā€œMorning, baby.ā€ Toji says, far too chipper for someone whoā€™d spent the entire night wrecking you. Heā€™s holding a tray with what looks like breakfastā€”eggs, toast, and even a small bowl of fruitā€”but what stands out is the cup of coffee that you need more than air right now.
ā€œMorning.ā€ you croak, wincing as you try to sit up, only to immediately regret it. ā€œI canā€™t feel my legs, babe. Pretty sure you broke me.ā€
Toji lets out a low chuckle, clearly proud of himself. ā€œYeah? Thought you liked it when I went all out.ā€
ā€œLiking it and being able to walk after are two different things, you know.ā€ you grumble, pulling the blanket up higher as Megumi stares at you with that same curious expression.
Toji sets the tray down on the bedside table, then leans down to kiss your forehead. ā€œGuess Iā€™ll have to carry you everywhere today, huh?ā€ His voice is thick with amusement, and you shoot him a half-hearted glare, but honestly, youā€™re too tired to fight back.
ā€œPlease do, babe. Iā€™m basically a noodle.ā€
Just then, Megumi climbs up onto the bed, his little hands gripping the edge as he pulls himself up with determination. He plops down beside you, his stuffed animal tucked under his chin. You smile, your heart warming despite the soreness, and Toji hands you the tray, still smirking like heā€™s king of the world.
ā€œBreakfast in bed, as promised,ā€ he says, crossing his arms like heā€™s just done you the biggest favor in the world. ā€œMade it with Megumi. Though, uh, you might wanna avoid the toast. He helped with that.ā€
You glance down at the toast in question, one piece charred to a crisp, the other half-raw in the middle. ā€œI see his culinary skills are coming along nicely.ā€
Toji laughs, sitting down at the edge of the bed. ā€œHey, heā€™s learning. Canā€™t all be naturals like me.ā€
You raise an eyebrow, but before you can shoot back a sarcastic remark, Megumi climbs into Tojiā€™s lap, looking between the two of you with that innocent, wide-eyed look only toddlers can pull off. ā€œHm, hm. I love my good house husband, really.ā€
ā€œAs you should, baby.ā€ He snickers back at you. ā€œNo one else will be like this for you but me.ā€
ā€œI know, I know.ā€ You say as you continue to eat.
He smiles and kisses your head. ā€œGood.ā€
ā€œToji, babeā€¦.ā€ you say, setting the tray aside and carefully reaching out to ruffle Megumiā€™s hair. ā€œIf I canā€™t walk today, you're on diaper duty.ā€
Toji looks genuinely horrified for a split second. "Now, wait a minuteā€”"
"All your fault, Mr. 'let me give you a baby,ā€™" you tease, biting into your eggs while giving him a pointed look. "So, now you get to deal with the consequences."
Megumi looks up at him, blinking with his bright big eyes, and Toji sighs dramatically. "Fine, fine." he says, giving you that classic Toji smirk. ā€œBut next time, youā€™re gettinā€™ the easy job.ā€
You roll your eyes, though thereā€™s a playful smile on your face. ā€œNext time, maybe go easy on me so I can still stand.ā€
Toji grins, leaning in to press a kiss to your lips, voice low and teasing. ā€œNo promises, baby.ā€
And with that, the morning unfolds with you lounging in bed, Fushiguro Megumi occasionally wandering over to offer you his stuffed animal, and Toji trying (and failing) to get through diaper duty without swearing under his breath. You canā€™t help but laugh at the sight of him, the big, tough man reduced to toddler chaos.
But despite everything;
the soreness, the teasing, the burnt toastā€”you wouldnā€™t have it any other way.
This is life.
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