#i wanted better 3ds themes

[collgeruledzebra]

ok not to be a hater but i tried the vox machina animated show and gang. It's mediocre.

[smoothriverrocksrock]

So for fun and curiosity’s sake, I decided to watch flatland… safe to say it was an experience. Genuine thoughts on the movie (I watched the 2007 version) and stuff under the cut, spoilers!

I hear the book is an actual, genuine political comedy (and honestly I believe it if that’s what the movie adaptation looked like) so Ima go see if I can buy it and I recommend y’all do to!

Aside from the whole “what the fuck is going on” feeling that kinda permeates the whole movie, it was actually more than a nothing spectacle! I liked the whole “flawed higher power” theme that the movie had going on. The way the president caused a purge and framed it as a riot, the way the general/warden only wanted war and glory. The vain sphere, the 3D shapes’ general lack of empathy for Asquare.

The oxymoron that is the president circle being all “oooh am I doing the right thing?” And him still turning around to murder a bunch of guards for nearly no valid reason is 🤌. Classic corrupt politician

I LOVED that scene where it’s the Sphere in the elevator, and each time the elevator is in the public eye he poses like a celebrity, and when the elevator hides again Asphere returns to a bored/uncaring pose. No dialogue, and honestly just a really simple scene, but it speaks volumes.

Mrs. A was kinda annoying at first (all the lines deserved better voice actors) but that “Hear my battle cry!” Scene immediately raised her to my favorite. AND??? MRS. B CASUALLY MURDERING TWO GUARDS??? Queen shit, go save your husband girlie

Good time to mention the casual misogyny in the film. If I had a nickel for each time a shape called a woman an “it” I’d have tooooo many nickels. The “woman are actually really dangerous/lethal” thing is kinda funny, but if you really try and interpret that it gets kinda gross. I imagine (hope) it’s an actual point in the book, but in the movie it’s just not addressed. The movie is an alright commentary, doesn’t completely fumble the message but it does distract a lot from it. Like… I enjoy the idea of the chromatic leader being a irregular shape, but to give him such a silly voice is reallyyyy undermining some of the movie’s point. Other examples and all, but watch the movie yourself. If I ever make an analysis for the book, I’ll then give a better analysis for this movie (compare and contrast, the good stuff)

[diagonal-queen]

Ooo may I ask for Leviathan, Satan, Mammon, Asmodeus, and Solomon with a clumsy!reader that just smiles and apologizes after accidentally hurting themselves?

Like reader could almost split their head in two on their way back home and they would just smile and brush it off as if a part of their head isn't bleeding profusely-

If you're not comfy with this, I respect that! Have a nice week!:3

-🎧

With a clumsy S/O

♡ characters: Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Solomon x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: you're just silly and clumsy and they're worried about you </3

♡ cw: Swearing, bruises, cuts, scrapes, falling over on the fuckign floor, blood

note: wow my first obey me req!! how silly and fun. you guys don't know the joy i felt when i went to my follower page and saw a bunch of OM pfps, you guys are so cool! should i download nightbringer or nah (i was gonna do it when it first came out but i saw the 3d models and got scared) apologies for errors and i hope you enjoy x

Mammon:

You're going to give him a fucking aneurysm

Mammon loves you so much, like this man is WHIPPED, so if you ever get hurt all of his protective instincts kick in

He's overprotective even if you don't get hurt. If it looks like you're in any kind of danger, he's right by your side anyway worrying about you like a devoted puppy

And then when you inevitably do get hurt, you *apologise* for it? Even though you're literally dying (he thinks)???? He's not having it!!

While he'll definitely chide you while he helps you recover, he's really just trying to cover up the fact that he's unbelievably worried about you. Pride isn't his sin but damn if he doesn't have way too much of it

It doesn't matter how many times this happens, he never gets used to it. And every single time he demands you don't apologise, but also demands that you be more careful not to do it again, lol

There is also a small part of him that does not want you to get hurt because he's the one who's been tasked with supervising you, and he knows Lucifer will ground his ass if he finds out you've sustained moderate injury (or worse. confiscate goldie)

He sometimes wonders how you can possibly be so nonchalant about it, because you're a fragile little human!! how aren't you more worried??!?!?!

Honestly this mf is such a hypocrite because i KNOW his ass is clumsy as shit too, but it's not okay when you do it because he loves you, and he doesn't like seeing his loved ones get hurt. So you better not keep letting yourself get hurt, got it??

Leviathan:

Do you want me to be honest? Do you really want me to be honest??

After a while, he would just start filming you whenever you fall and making compilations of you eating absolute shit

Like, clearly it doesn't bother you. After the first few times where he gets all frantic and jittery, he learns not to take it too seriously

(Unless you genuinely injure yourself of course, which he'll panic about regardless of how you react)

Every time he sees anyone get hurt, in any way, ever, he'll point and be like 'haha babe that's you'

He doesn't want you to sit in his gaming chair because he knows you'll roll around in it and then inevitably fall down, damaging both you and the chair in the process

Levi would never admit this, but the more you hang out in his room, the more blankets and pillows he leaves on the ground where you guys sit to watch anime/game together. Claims it's to make you more comfortable but mostly because he doesn't want you to get hurt while he's watching you

He's so used to you wandering into his room, bloody palms/head/knees, that he begins to keep a first aid kit in there for you (he would also totally buy you anime-themed bandaids let's be honest)

His biggest struggle with all of this at the end of the day is when you enter his room while he's livestreaming and the chat starts spamming about the fucked up bloody ghostly spirit in the background and he has to be like 'no that is the loml actually'

Satan:

Satan is so normal ❤️ he's so Studio Ghibli man coded and I'll die on this hill

If you come home bleeding, he'll do all the classic romantic shit for you. I'm talking the gently cleaning your wounds, bandaging you up, making you warm tea, reading to you while you rest in his bed AUGH 😩

He'll ask you to please try to be careful and stay safe from now on, because he just couldn't ever get anything done constantly worrying about you the way he does.

You always promise to try and be more careful, but that promise is, somehow, never kept (he lets it slide because he's a sweetie)

When you two are cuddling in bed together he'll gently caress and trace his fingers over your assorted bruises and healing scrapes

Satan doesn't let you apologise for hurting yourself, either. He reassures you that it's okay, but he really does just want you to keep safe and well

He is willing to carry you sometimes to avoid you slipping. He'll also make sure you stay away from sharp objects and he'll idiot-proof his bedroom so you can spend time in there. This man will take no chances because he wants to hang out with you that much

Satan catches you if you trip because he's romantic like that. Tbh he's been so conditioned into expecting it that he's always on alert whenever he leaves the house with you

Congratulations, you pavlov'd the devil into being gentle and caring. Do with this new power what you will, but for the love of god please be more careful

Asmodeus:

You are actively driving up his concealer consumption because he keeps having to USE it all on you because you won't stop BRUISING

Dabbing some of it over a hickey he gave you is one thing. This is unreasonable, he says, it's ridiculous!

Asmo is so worried you'll get some kind of infection, so he's so careful when he does your makeup. He has alcohol wipes and warm cloths to clean your cuts and bruises and everything

He begins carrying bandaids with him just in case. He's really gentle when he puts them on, it's basically an intimate ritual between the two of you at this point

Tbh though he does love to pamper you, so he doesn't mind spending his time undressing you, washing you, cleaning you up and then cuddling you for the whole night (among other things- this is Asmo we're talking about)

You genuinely have nothing to worry about either, because you could just be a walking bruise and Asmo would still think you're the cutest human in the three realms. He'll still participate in an unacceptable amount of PDA regardless of how hurt you are and that's the Asmodeus guarantee

He's really way more worried about you than you are. He *insists* that you're more careful, because if you were to get seriously injured or die, then who oh who would go clothes shopping with him then?? Who would he have to do makeup on? Whose nails would he have to paint? The absolute horror

(What a drama queen lmao)

My mans is not beating the down bad allegations anytime soon, but he doesn't care because his precious little lamb is hurt!! And he can't have that, not at all.

Solomon:

Lowkey unbothered

You think this dude has lived 200+ years to not know healing spells? Nah. You wander up to him and he's just like 'tut tut. why are you like this' and fixes you right up

It's not that he's fine with seeing you hurt−he's not−but he takes little time to get used to it, and being as powerful as he is he knows he can just heal you

He kind of secretly enjoys being your healer. He likes the way you rely on him for that kind of thing, because let's be real he's got a dom thing. Don't lie to yourselves folks.

Whenever he sees a new mark on your body he'll sigh and ask what happened, more out of mild amusement than exasperation. If you're too embarrassed to answer he'll chuckle but not press further

Solomon is a teaser. He'll tease you about this, and there's nothing you can do about it. What are you gonna do? Tell Lucifer? They don't have a PACT (lmfao suck it)

(This is gonna be very embarrassing for me if it turns out they did make a pact in nightbringer and i don't know because i just never fuckin played it)

Anyway, you notice that as time goes on, whenever Solomon holds your hand, his grip gets just that little bit tighter. Like Satan, he is always prepared

Maybe he really is secretly worried about you. Who knows? Solomon is a wild card, but if there's one thing to be sure of, it's that he'll always be there to help heal you no questions asked.

taglist~ ♡

DM me if you'd like to join my Obey Me! taglist!

[honeytonedhottie]

what i learned during my reflection period⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧖🏽‍♀️🎀

as you may or may not have noticed, i've been hiatus for most of the month now. and i disappeared because of personal reasons, and one of those reasons being that i felt i needed to reflect. here are some things that i've learned and realized during my reflection time.

this is quite personal to me, but i wanted to kind of have a heart to heart with you guys and im sure that someone is probably struggling with what i mention in this post so i hope this is comforting...💬🎀

WHY I FELT STUCK IN MY LOA JOURNEY ;

i was literally doing the most and it felt like such a chore at the time. i would force myself to affirm in ways that felt unnatural, i was letting myself get bullied by the 3D, even though i KNOW i dont have to do a thing. i was putting way too much effort in the wrong way.

WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;

i took a step back and RELAXED. i did what felt natural again and enjoyed manifesting again and because of that i've had success story after success story...💬🎀

DOING A SELF AUDIT ;

i wanted to take a second and expose toxic behaviors and patterns that i noticed i exhibit and that have started to affect not only my physical but my mental in a very very negative way.

i'd been struggling with regulating my emotions and managing them so i was a walking ball of stress 💀. a beautiful ball of stress but stress nonetheless. i just felt so stuck.

WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;

i went through the motions and after having a total meltdown and doing a bit of journalling i released everything, giving myself a completely clean slate once more.

i did a bit of a refresh and did miscellaneous things to make myself feel like im starting again. things like self concept work, changing the theme of my phone, taking an everything shower + bubble bath, having a pinterest makeover and getting a trim on my hair.

i forced myself to drink more water, and go for long walks not only to get some sunlight but to get my heart pumping and push myself out of the depressive rot that i had been in for months internally, but had pushed itself out as soon as summer started.

THE DEATH OF A SITUATIONSHIP ;

i got really attached to this boy 😭 but he was such a piece of work. like he did that hot and cold shit, but i rly rly liked him so i ignored the obvious red flags. but i got to a point where i just felt used and embarrassed. upon further reflection i think i didn't wanna let him go because he was so fine 💀, like 6'5 muscular kind of fine.

no matter how handsome a guy is if he has an ugly personality or if he just treats u badly then hes not fine at all...💬🎀

WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;

i went no contact. thats like the easiest way to get over someone i think lol. i went no contact and i just manifested better things for myself. like being asked out by a bunch of guys and wingstop to comfort myself 🧋

also i focused on what i got out of the whole thing. i got the redirection that i wanted, PLUS i was filled with inspiration for my song writing.

SONG RECOMMENDATIONS ;

i want war (BUT I NEED PEACE) - kali uchis

eternal sunshine - jhene aiko

let you go - clara la san

needy - ariana grande

AT THE END OF THE DAY ;

i wanted to include this section as a reminder that everyone goes through shit. things happen. its okay to be affected by it and its okay to be sad. the most important thing is to not dwell on it too long. remember that you are not a victim and remember how amazing you are BECAUSE YOU ARE. you are amazing and no matter what happens, regardless of anything your gonna be okay and your gonna be in a much better place, it starts with putting one foot in front of the other...💬🎀 (love honey)

[probablyintensemuses]

Tiny Little Good Things-

A. Aretas

PAIRING: ARMANDO X READER

synopsis: You and Armando get sent on a mission to stop a vicious drugs and arms dealer. Chaos ensues and you two find out why the lines between love and hate are constantly blurring for you both.

theme(s): eventual smut (+18), gore and blood, cursing, graphic imagery, angst, enemies to lovers, Armando is a dick and really hot when he speaks Spanish.

warnings: there is smut in this fic as well as many bloody scenes, if you can’t handle either, I wouldn’t read on!

authors note: hi, yes I know this fic is long as shit, but I felt it was necessary for what unfolds. There is more than 12k words here, so sorry to all my short attention span people. ❤️love you, k bye!

word count: 12.5k

“Ramos Malik, age thirty-seven and Miami’s biggest up and coming arms and drug dealer.’ Kelly says, fingers gracing her iPad as she swivels through pictures, displaying them on the plasma screen ahead.

“He’s a big fucking problem. 3D printing' slugs that are hitting the streets faster than crack in the seventies.’ Mike Lowery, head of AMMO, interjects. “Shells the size of a thumbs, sharper than lions teeth, are being pulled out of rival gang members, bystanders, and law enforcement all around the city.”

You turn in your chair, pushing away from your computer screen. “So, how do we stop him?”

Dorn rounds the steel table, a slab of guns, gear, and tech, gently taking the iPad from Kelly’s hand, and you don’t miss the way she blushes. It’s cute, those two. Kelly and you had grown close ever since you joined AMMO as their new technical analyst months ago. Dorn gave up the position, wanting to be present in the field—mostly to have Kelly’s six—he and his therapist had been making great progress and he felt it was time to be more than the brawny guy in the chair.

So that lead to you taking over and eventually many girls nights full of red wine, cheese, and pillow talking. A slip of a wine-jaded tongue later and you were the first on the team to know of their love affair. Sometimes you desired to have that of your own, but life and fate, as Marcus would say, hadn’t given that to you yet.

“Good question, followed by an even better answer.’ Dorn sails and the screen changes and a new scene plays. “This is Moxy, a new club on the strip. It’s where Ramos Malik and his crew hang out. Rumor has it he’ll be there tonight, and we're going to bind him with a sting.”

Intrigued you stand. “You need me to make inconspicuous body cams, don’t you?’ You gasp and breath deeply, a smile spreading on your face. “God I love it when you guys want me to make inconspicuous body cams.”

Dorn coughs and Kelly looks off to the side, biting at her nails. Mike walks over slowly, slapping a hand onto both your shoulders.

“Now, we know how much our sweet little, non-violent, girl here loves to just stay in her lane and chill here while we get into all the bloody action.’ Mike massages your shoulders, displaying you off to the group like a fresh piece of wagyu. You scan the crew's faces—mischief, panic, fear—but the one that snipes you the most is the one of Armando Aretas. He sits perched on a table on the far side of the room, combat boot clad feet planted on a chair as his brown eyes pierce into you, sending tiny, invisible sparks flocking on your skin. You suck in a sharp breath and look away. He always stared, so why did it bother you now?

When your ears finally stop buzzing, you dial back into Mike's speech. “But this time, it’ll be different. You’ll be out in the field.”

As if you were just tased, you jut away from his grip. “What?”

“Ramos can sniff cops a mile away. It’s what makes him so good at what he does.’ Marcus cuts in. “He knows our faces, too. The only face he doesn’t know, is yours.”

You take another step back, heart racing, completely stupefied. “So you want me to go and trick that bastard…by myself?!”

“No! Never!” Mike says. “Armando will be with you.”

A clatter echos through the room, all eyes snapping to where Armando was sitting, the little black stool wobbling on the floor. “The fuck I will!” He growls.

Your eyes narrow and you jut your chin up. What the hell was he so mad for?

“Okay, son, calm down. It’s a simple sting operation. If you’re careful, it’s an in-and- out kind of thing.”

Armando circles close, and out of habit you cower behind the wall of Mike and Dorn. You may have a high IQ but you’re no match physically for anyone on this team, especially not Armando. You’ve seen what he can do countless times. He was the silent beast, he always just stared and hardly spoke. No matter how much you tried to warm up to him, make him feel accepted, you two just never clicked.

You thought it might just be his past, how he was manipulated by his father and lied to by his mother, that made him so closed off, but with the way fury rumbles off of him so strong right now, pushing you deeper into Dorn and Mike, it makes you think there’s more unspoken. And if so, what?

Caged between Mike and Dorn Armando finds your eyes again, scolding your cheeks hot with his glare. It was as if he needed you to not only hear his words but feel them too. “I’m not going on any mission with the princesa. All she does is type and sit in that fucking chair all day. It’ll be suicide.”

Mike takes his son's shoulder, massaging them similar to how he’d done your own. “She’s the only choice right now, okay? She’s just the arm candy to fill out the picture we’re setting for Malik, alright?”

For some reason his words— “just the arm candy?”and “the only choice right now,” —sting. You may not be skilled in the field or in combat, but you were vital to this team and you spent months trying to prove your strengths otherwise. When you first joined the team, everyone insisted on making you their baby bird, some wounded thing they needed to protect in a gilded cage. You were the new young and stary-eyed cop, and they are all jaded-old bags who need someone to shelter. It happened authentically and you still couldn’t shake the box they put you in. You aren’t helpless, you are capable and strong and maybe this is what you need, an opportunity outside to finally prove yourself.

“If he doesn’t want to do it, I’m sure there is someone else in the field we can find.’ A surge of confidence flushes through you as you push past the Mike-Dorn barricade, chin help up high with defiance as you brush past Armando. “Whatever the case, I’ll do it. I can do it. I’m capable Mike, so let’s see my cover.”

A smirk peels on Kelly’s face as she passes you your file. “Okay, Ms. Bad-ass. I’m loving this energy.”

Armando scoffs, planting himself next to you, his broad shoulders brush up against your frail ones. The slight gesture sends a hear through you. Quickly you scoot away, no need to sweat through a perfectly good cardigan over mean-ass Armando Aretas.

You flip through your file. You’ll be playing Jenna Combs. A twenty-six year old dancer and model who is the new girlfriend of—

“You hijos de puta’s got me playing myself?” Armando argues. “What kind of shit disguise is that?”

Dorn shrugs. “It’s not. That’s the point. The Aretas name is still feared and no one knows you’re in with the cops. It’s a pretty believable story, you need new armory and he can supply it.”

“Last anyone in this circles heard, you was killing cops and slinging a new dope empire. Just get em’ to confess to making this bullets and where he does it, so we can get em’ off the streets for good.” Marcus chimes in with a smile.

Armando’s grumbles a few curses under his breath before his attention turns and latches onto you. Suddenly you feel hot again, like a solar flares are swallowing you whole. Armando’s eyes rack over your form, slow and tentative.

His gaze latches onto your lips before he says, “And she’s supposed to be my date? Suicide mission.”

“For who? You or me? Because the way I see it, with your attitude you’ll be made in minutes.”

The gap between you and Armando closes in an instant. Your faces mere inches from each other. His cool breath trickles down the crest of your neck and frosts the tips of your ears when he whispers, “Careful when you speak to me, Princesa. You’ll be alone out there with me, and anything could happen to you.”

Was he…threatening you?

Your balls must have really dropped in the matter of minutes, because instead of keeping quiet and apologizing, like you normally would if you managed to anger Armando, you bite back.

“Stop calling me that.” You grit your teeth.

“¿Por qué, eh?’ Armando whispers, pulling back from you and taking a seat on a nearby stool. His eyes are drunk with a flavor you can’t distinguish. “Only princesas get to sit up in their castle all day, shielded, while everyone else goes out and does all the heavy lifting.”

“I never asked to be shielded!’ You stamp your foot, moving in on him with a swiftness. Armando invites your challenge with grace, folding his muscular arms slowly over his wide chest, watching you stalk nearer.

You don’t know how, but you find yourself in between him, his legs two thick gates around you. Where it should bother you, in the moment it doesn’t because It’s your turn to invade his space. In this moment, the great Armando Aretas doesn’t scare you.

You poke at his chest with each syllable. “Rather you like it or not, Aretas, this princesa is going on this sting with or without you, and I don’t give a shit what you think, not anymore. Cool?”

A small smirk pulls on his face as he peels your finger off his chest, the digit so small in his his hand, his movements making you keenly aware of your closeness.

“Cool.” He stands, boxing you in with his large build before brushing past you and walking out of the compound.

You watch as the last bits of daylight leave with him as the door slams closed. This confidence was like adrenal coursing through you and suddenly you felt tired and zapped, being strong is exhausting. You take a seat, pulling at a loose curl atop your head, thoughts burrowing into your mind like a splinter.

To this day, you couldn’t understand the hatred he had for you. In the begging, when Mike had negotiated a deal with the D.A’s office and the department to allow Armando to work for AMMO, not wanting his raw talents to go to waste, no one trusted him. But still, you gave him a chance, because you knew how it felt to be the underdog and you didn’t want the same for him. Still, in his own fashion, he warmed up to the others…but never to you. But maybe he was right, everyone else here has put so much of themselves of the line, risked it all for the greater good, and what have you done? Nothing. You haven’t saved anyone or changed a life. You’ve sat and watched from the comforts of the compound. Their eyes and ears, that’s all.

You push to standing and gather your file. You may not be the strongest, or fastest on the team, but you had strengths and you’d make use of them tonight for once, no matter what.

Suddenly snickers and chuckle fill the room, bouncing off the walls of your mind and bringing you back to the room glazed with the smell of oil and pinesol.

Marcus breaks through the laughter. “Next time you two want to engage in some foreplay, ask for the room first.”

Your skin nearly peels off at his words. You could burn alive right now.

You and Armando?

“Never would that ever happen.” You shiver at the thought of being with any man, let alone him.

Armando is a mean man. A mean man you suddenly have to trust you life with.

But if that’s the case. Why does your heart not fall to your feet at the thought?

###

“You’ve memorized your role, right?” Kelly asks, tightening the final fixings of your dress.

“Yes,’ you nod. “I’m Armando’s new girlfriend, Jenna. I don’t speak, I just sit quietly and listen. I shadow him, basically. Anything he does, I do.”

“Good girl.’ Kelly winks. “One last thing.’ She digs into her pockets before brandishing a small knife. “Here, just in case things go south.”

Your eyes widen and you nearly flinch. “I thought you and Mike said this was an easy in-and-out kind of deal.”

Kelly sighs. “Nothing like this is ever easy. All things have the potential to go south.’ She grabs your face in her hands. “I just want my girl safe, that’s all.”

Reluctantly, you accept the knife, shoving it into your purse. “What about Armando? Isn’t he supposed to protect me—I mean Jenna?”

“And he will,” Kelly assures. “But you can never be too sure.”

You nod. “Right, whose to say he won’t abandon me if shit oops off,” your snicker is laced with fear.

Kelly walks you out of the compound and toward the front where you’ll be meeting the rest of the team. “He won’t. Trust me.”

“He did allude to it early, Kels.”

Kelly rolls her eyes, stopping you and giving your curls one last fluff. “Aretas is all talk when it comes to you, don’t take him for a grain of salt.”

You frown. “What’s that supposed to be mean.”

Kelly smirks. “See for yourself.”

She steps out of the way and in the shinning exterior of Mikes Ferrari, you see yourself.

Do you look like a slut, yes, but nonetheless gorgeous.

Your curls are loose and defined, a cascade of shea butter and hibiscus around you. Your makeup is layered, yet light, elevating your high cheekbones, wide lips, and honey-brown eyes. And your plum colored dress pops against your warm-brown skin, somehow making even your thin body look full and figured.

You look fucking hot.

And for the first time in forever, you feel fucking hot.

Apparently you’re not the only one who thinks so as a whistle breaks loose in the yard.

“Goddamn girl!’ Mike claps. “If I wasn’t some old dog, I’d ask you on a date myself.”

“I’ll keep my comments to myself,’ Marcus smiles. “You know Theresa be listening.” He looks over his shoulders, head on a swivel.

“Dorn don’t say a word.” Kelly scolds her boyfriend, Dorn holds his hands up in defense.

“Staying silent.” He whimpers.

Your cheeks flush. “Stop, you guys.” You giggle. “This was all Kelly, besides you know I look better in a cardigan and jeans.”

“I agree.” A voice emerges from the darkness. A wide berth breaks before you as Armando strolls over.

Your throat goes dry and suddenly your head is dizzy with a feeling hard to explain, as you take him in.

He’s fresh with a new hair cut, faded low on the sides and thick, raven black up top. His beard is full and more manicured, enunciating the sharp cuts of his jaw.

He’s graced in a suit, black-on-black. The undershirt unbuttoned exposing much of his chiseled chest and the gold, cross necklace that dangles there. His suit jacket fits perfectly over the swells of his biceps and his pants expose every aching muscle in his thigh.

Like gravity, it’s hard to pull your eyes away from him. But somehow you become the void of space and manage to.

You can’t say the same for him though, because despite his insults that same burning, tingling sensation finds its way tip-toeing down your back and to the swell of your ass. One quick spin and you catch Armando’s eyes lifting from your backside to face you.

“I thought I looked better in a cardigan?” You say, breathing heavy.

Was he just? No…

Armando swings open the passenger door for you. “Get in.” He grumbles.

Not wanting to test his patience, you oblige, taking a step into the Farrier.

Armando closes the door behind you before climbing into the passenger side.

At the window, Mike approaches.

“Get in ask Ramos about the bullets, say you heard about them from word of mouth and you’re interested in them. You’ll pay top dollar. Once he confirms he can give them to you, we’ll move in. Got it?” Mike explains to Armando before turning his attention to you. “And for you, just be silent, pretty, and say nothing, okay?”

“Won’t be hard for her.” Armando grumbles as he starts the car.

You roll your eyes, ignoring his comment. “You guys will tail us, right.”

Dorn nods. “You should be fine though, you’ve got Armando.”

Armando reeves the engine, slowly idling off and away from your friends. And for some reason, when you whip off, you can’t help but wonder if he was right. This was a suicide mission, just not for him.

Fuck.

###

The drive is silent and smooth. You really could see why Mike insisted on such expensive cars, they rode well.

Your heel-clad feet tap against the bottom of the car, humming a tune in your head, making you realize just how much this ride needed some music.

Slowly, you turn to face Armando. His eyes are focused on the long road ahead, his jaw is clenched and he doesn’t seems to be paying you the slightest bit of attention.

As smooth as you can be you carefully lift your hand up and turn on the radio. Soon enough Ariana Grandes, The Boy is Mine, blasts from the radio.

You squeal and find a small groove with your fingers against your purse, humming the lyrics and bopping your head to the beat. The song is just reaching its second run through the chorus when the radio goes dead.

You turn, seeing Armando’s hand leaking from the controls. Annoyed, you give him a look before turning the radio back on, louder this time.

Armando’s jaw clenches tighter, like he might actually collapse through it with his bite force. He slams the radio off…again.

This time you don’t bite your tongue.

“Would you stop doing that!” You shout.

“No.”

“Why not? I was listening to that.”

“I don’t care. I need to focus.” Armando grumbles.

“Focus on what?”

“I don’t know, Princesa, making sure we both come out of this alive, because I damn sure can’t count on you to do that.”

His words bite, but if he wants to play a snake you have venom for him. “Why don’t you like me, huh? What have I ever done to you?” You hide.

Armando stays silent, his knuckles whitening as his grip strengthens on the steering wheel.

You snap at him. “I’m not talking to myself, Armando. Why do you hate me, huh?!”

“Cállte!” He shouts

You don't know much Spanish, but you’ve heard him say it enough to know it’s time to walk away from the conversation.

So you do, resting your head against the window seal, counting the number of streetlights you see flash and shimmer as you zoom by.

When you were younger your mother couldn’t afford fancy candles so she used a flashlight instead. You imagine the streetlights as just that, wishing that one day you’d know what you did to anger Armando so much.

Not soon enough, the car comes to a halt. The only sounds filling the cabin are those of Armando undoing his seatbelt.

Annoyed, you don’t even look at him as he speaks. All he’s done is tear you down in the past few hours, you’re done giving him the energy you need to conserve.

“When we go inside, don’t say a word. I don’t care how many questions he throws your way, you don’t say shit. Am I clear?”

Slowly, you turn towards him. Your mouth is scrunched and your eyes filled with no sympathy for the devil in front of you.

“Crystal.” You whisper, venom leaking off your tongue as you speak.

Armando’s chest rises and falls as he takes in your anger. He squeezes Mikes keys between his hands, and you you really do your best to ignore the heat that unfurls inside of you when he bites his plump lip between his teeth and runs a hand over his dark, full beard.

You adjust in your seat, because despite his constant cold front, It looks as if he has something to say. You wait in contemplating silence, the only sounds in the cabin being your breathing and Armando’s hesitant taps on the keys.

Part of you just wants to go in a get this over with and never speak to him again, but another part is desperate for him to say something meaningful to you. Something like the things you say to him before a mission.

“Don’t die.”

“Come back in one piece.”

“Be careful.”

“We should all have pizza when you come back.”

You knew how scary things could get on missions and you just wanted your team to know you were there, to take away even a slither of the darkness clouding them in that moment. And for your first time, you thought Armando might do the same—say something meaningful—but he doesn’t.

In a flash he’s out of the car, handing the keys over to valet, threatening them about what will happen if any scratches and dents are found.

You take in a deep breath and look down at the camera, disguised as a gold necklace resting above the cut of your breast.

“You guys getting all this?” You whisper, stepping out of the car.

“Do you mean Moxy, or your fight with Hotmando?” Dorn says over the earpiece.

You come to a halt. “Shit, I’m sorry guys. I’ll keep it professional, okay. From here on out, I won’t let him get to me…that’s not what’s important.”

“Good, get in and come back to us. I need my girl and our wine down Sundays.” Kelly says.

You smile, making your way over to wear Armando stands at the mouth of the nightclub, hoping he heard your words.

The sour look on his face as you walk through the door he holds open for you—sure to flip my hair as you do, giving him a nice taste of your leave in conditioner—tells you he certainly did, and perhaps he didn’t like what you had to say, but nonetheless…

He wont bother you anymore. Not tonight, at least.

Inside Moxy tore hit with a wave of a scent that nearly makes you gag—weed, sweat, and criminal activity. The club its self is large in scale, high ceilings with rope dancers stringing off the tops and flashing red and blue lights melting to make a purple haze over the club. Smoke and bubble guns are in constant effect and you’re pretty sure you can feel the bass of Wiz Khalifa’s Black and Yellow in your thoracic cavity.

From what you can see there are three floors, the first and second appear to be where the actual clubbing takes place. You watch the sweaty bodies corralled into dance floors, babbling nonsense either too drunk or too high for their own good.

But above, on the third, it is caged in and covered by glass. Yellow lights, different from the multi-colored ones below, remain at a halt and big , burly men with guns at their hips wander the halls. No doubt looking to take out any threat that comes for their boss—Ramos Malik.

“The glass. It’s bullet proof.” Armando says, eyeing the scene above, just as you do.

You would praise him for the impressive catch. But you’re Jenna now, and Jenna doesn’t speak.

“Any sign of Malik?” Mike asks.

“Not yet,’ Armando places a hand on the small of your back, making you flinch. “But we’re about to find out.”

Never moving his hands from your waist, Armando guides the two of you through the sweaty pillage of bodies and towards the elevators.

The ride up is quick, quiet. That’s not shocking. But what is shocking, as soon as the elevator comes to a screeching halt, Armando grabs your hand in his, completely engulfing your own with his size.

The burning sensation wraps up your wrist and shoots straight to your cheeks where you flush.

“What are you doing?” You gasps, trying to pull away. You did not sign up for this kind of role play.

Armando turns to look at you. “If you’re my girlfriend, we’ve got to play the part. Other than that you just look like someone who I brought out on a hit with me.” He squeezes your hand.

You suck in a deep breath at the motion, looking away.

“What’s wrong, princesa? This too much for you?” For a second, you thought he meant the fact that he was holding your hand, and in that case he wouldn’t be wrong, but soon enough the doors open and you shortly realize what he means.

The two burly men from early, dapper in black and white suits, wait outside the elevator, fingers in the triggers of their guns.

“Aretas.’ They nod, tuning your attention to you. “Whose this?”

“My girl, Jenna.” Armando says, gruffly.

One of the men nods, motioning you forward. You swallow, backing up a bit, hesitant on what to do.

Armando nudges you forward. “Esta bien bebe.”

You nod and walk towards them. They grab you up, calloused hands running up and down your body, and your pretty sure they linger to long on your untouchables on purpose.

Sweat begins to pile in your hands as a thought burst into your mind. What would happen if they found the knife Kelly gave you? She’d shoved it in a pretty good spot, but still, these guys were being thorough…and not in a good way.

You make eye contact with Armando as one of the guards continues to fill you up with what feels like excessive force.

In a blur, Armando pushes off the wall with his foot, slapping a hand on the guards shoulder.

“She’s clear, eh?”

The guard nods.

Armando grips his collar and pulls him in close. “The why the fuck are you still touching her, hm?”

The guard swallows, fear evident in his eyes.

“Just covering the bases, that’s all, sir.” He whimpers.

“Cover the bases again like that with my girl, and I’ll cut your fucking hand off and feed it to your other fat fuck of a friend.” Armando notions to the guard behind.

The guard nods and swallows, caressing his hand.

“The boss is this way,” he guides us with a motion.

Armando grips your hand once more, leading your down the long hallway.

“You okay?” He asks, holding his gaze forward.

You look up at him, even in heels he still manages to be taller than you. “Don’t pretend to care.” You scoff.

That makes him halt, conjoined with him you have no choice but to face each other. His mouth opens and closes like a fish, yet no words come out.

You roll your eyes, looking past his shoulders. Inside the bright room, you can see a shadow of Ramos. “Let’s just get this over with.” You say.

Armando’s gaze lingers on your longer than you’d like, giving you the shivers despite the fire leaking off him.

Soon enough, he pushes open the door and you follow behind him.

The room is small, club girls linger around either serving drinks or being felt up on. Ramos’s men, stand at each corner of the room searching for the next threat to their boss. Luckily they haven’t figured it is you yet.

“Armando Aretas,” Ramos claps his hands, jumping off of the white couch he’s sat on.

He stalks over, cigar between his lips, and you take him in. He is nowhere near as stalky as Armando, and his curly blonde hair is put up into a bun, exposing the undercut beneath. You can’t catch the colors of his eyes because they are covered by dark, Fendi shades.

His business definitely makes money, and lots of it. His three piece black and burgundy suit screams it all.

“To what do I owe such great pleasures?” He bows, lifting your hand up and placing a kiss on the back. “That goes for you too, sugar.”

Armando squeezes your hand a bit tighter at the pet name. You want to bite back and tell him to go easy, but you’re on stage now, and for your own safety and his, it’s best if you don’t break the act.

“I’m in the business of buying something from you. Streets are hot down in Mexico right now, and I need to establish some new territories…with a little force.” Armando says smoothly, sometimes you forget he was a hardened criminal not too long ago.

Ramos clicks his tongue between his teeth. “Ah. Come sit.” He motions you two over to one of his coaches.

“Good job. Keep em’ talking.” Mike says over the coms.

Armando takes a seat across from Ramos and you do the same.

A chuckle leaves Ramos’s lips. “I don’t think your pet likes you very much,” he motions to the space between you two.

Armando smacks his lips. “Nonsense. Ven aquí, bebé.”

You swallow and scoot towards him. When you’re close enough, in one swift moment, Armando’s slips you in his lap, running a rough hand up and down the exposed parts of your thigh, sending shivers down your spine and goosebumps all over your body.

What the hell was happening.

Ramos chuckles, pouring himself and Armando a drink. He pushes it across the glass table, just out of reach.

Armando gives your ass a light slap, you turn and flare your nose, giving him your best “don't push it,” it glare.

He ignores it.

“Tráeme eso, mamá.” He says, motioning towards the glass.

You pick up the tumbler, suddenly realizing what he’s playing at. Ramos is watching because he isn't convinced. So you suck up your pride and do some convincing.

You grip Armando by his chin, rubbing the pad of your thumb in circles over his gruff beard before putting the glass against his lips, assisting him as he drinks.

Never once do his eyes leave you as he swallows the amber liquid, and the shivers that were once in your spine travel lower, much lower. You have to blink away the awful, dirty thoughts of you being in place of the glass out of your mind as you swipe away the spillage off his beard and plump, pink lips.

When you turn, Ramos’ shoulders drop and his smile is so wide it’s nearly reckless.

“So you’re in the business of buying my most popular product from me?”

“That’s right.” Armando says, a hand still caressing you slow and smooth.

“I am curious, though,’ Ramos takes a swig of his drink. “How did you hear about it?”

Armando shifts, the movement forcing you closer to his center. Your eyes go wide as saucers, your new position doing nothing for the growing pain massing within your heat.

“I’m an Aretas. Nothing in the streets goes past my ears…nothing.” Armando's confidence radiates off of him.

“Very well,” Ramos chuckles. “Let’s establish two parameters of this deal, then. One, you pay me before I give you any product. Two, you get caught with my product, you don’t tell a soul who you the fuck got it from. Sounds good?” He smiles.

Armando nods. “Just one thing,’ his hands enclose over your hips, sliding you off to the side, as he leans forward. “How do you make them? The bullets.”

Ramos frowns. “Why? You trying to steal my swag or something, Aretas?”

Armando chuckles. “Nah, just curious.”

“Feed his ego, he’s going to talk.” Kelly says.

“I mean, they're sharp, large, fast, quiet. It’s impressive. I just want to know how you do it before I invest any of my money into it.” Armando leans back, arms spread in a wide arch on the back of the couch.

“In our world now, with a little money, the right connections, and a fuck ton of fortitude, anything you can think of is a possibility.’ Ramos says, lighting another cigar. “It’s rare and hard to get everything right. But if you really want to know how I do it,’ he leans in, voice dropping to a whisper.

Armando does the same, you make the conscious effort not to. Instead you play with your necklace, making sure the camera catches his face and his face only when he confesses.

“It’s a three—,”

A sudden buzz swallows the conversation whole, swirling it down the dirty sink it had come up from. The buzz echoes once more before you realize where it comes from…your purse

Fuck.

Ramos straightens, likes a dog on guard, eyeing you fiercely. Your chest rises and falls with a weight heavier than gravity as your ringtone continues to blare out for everyone to hear.

Ramos licks his lips, like he’s hungry for what comes next. “Well don’t be shy, Ms. Jenna, answer the phone.”

You swallow and tuck a curl behind your ear. “I don’t think that’s appropriate right now. Let’s just finish up the deal—“

In a blur of fury, Ramos stands brandishing a gun, pointing it right at your chest.

“Make you perra answer the fucking phone, or I put holes in you both.”

“Answer the phone,” Mike calls to you. “Do what he asks.”

Armando gives you a cautious look as you slip your phone out of your purse. Your fingers are shaking, so answering takes a few tries but when you finally do get it, you see that it’s your sister calling.

“Make sure it’s on speaker too.” Ramos demands, clocking his gun.

You inhale deeply, press the speaker button, then answer, “Hey, sister, this isn’t really a good time.”

“Hey, I know you’re probably working late and all, but this is kind of important. My routers are not really working and I have a date with that guy, David, I told you about and I really need my tv to work.” She explains.

You bite your lip and lick the sweat that forms around them. “Have you tried turning your tv on and off again? You know I’m not really a whiz at that tech stuff.”

A pause, then your sister erupts in laughter. “Girl, are you high?’ She laughs. “You’ve been messing with wires and the internet since we were kids. That’s the whole reason twelve wanted you anyways”

Your hear sinks the moment she says those words, you hang up because the last thing you want is for your sister to hear you die.

“Well fuck me, Jenna, I’ll be damned.” Ramos growls, pushing his gun into your skull.

You pierce your eyes shut, brace for the burning impact of the bullet and pray for a quick death.

But it never happens, instead in a swift motion Armando pushes you off to the side causing you to collapse onto the ground. He makes a quick sweep of his leg, sending Ramos crashing onto his ass and the bullet that was meant for you soaring up and hitting the rafters, lodging into some wood.

Your breath is heavy as you watch all out war unfold before you. Armando takes on five men at once. The first man takes two tumblers over the head and one shard of glass to the neck, scarlett liquid oozing from the wound before he drops like dead weight beside you.

You let out a scream, backing away from the scene that moves like a riptide before you.

“Get out of there, now!” Kelly screams in your ear.

“I—I can’t just leave him!” You shout back.

“You have no training! We’re coming in, go, now!” Mike yells.

You gather yourself, undoing your heels, still watching Armando skillfully take out guys and keep clear of the gunshots that ring in the tiny room. You watch as he dropkicks one man, then shoots him in the face before stalking over to another man, dishing out a few punches, before finally gutting him with a knife.

He’s still on the move when you finally slip out of your heels. More of Ramos’s men are filing in and the fight expands,moving from the small room you were just in into the hallway where any innocent person could be hurt.

Unlike most times you weren’t in your gilded chair. You were in the field and you would help as many people as you could. So, you don’t think, you let the adrenaline cloud you as you bound down the hallway in hopes to get back downstairs and direct clubbers from the chaos.

Setting the golden elevator in your sites, you push faster. People below were already screaming, running wild. Who knows what could happen? How many people could be trampled and hurt. This only fuels you, quickening your stride. You nearly make it but a gunshot slows you, and the body of a bleeding girl drops before you, putting you into a full halt.

“Oh my god,” your voice is breathy and shaky.

“Why are you still in there!” Dorns’ voice becomes a far void as you rip at the bottom of your dress and use the fabric to compress her wound.

Two gunshots to the chests. The girl, who can’t be any older than yourself, gurgles blood which sprays onto her porcelain skin and leaks into her brown hair, sticking strands to the marble floor.

The girl coughs, sending blood splattering onto the side of your face, and claws at your arms, streaks of crimson standing out against your brown skin.

She murmurs, but it’s hard to hear.

You press deeper into her wounds. “Shh, it’ll be alright,’ You tell her “guys, I need a medic on the third floor when you get here. She’s…she’s in really bad shape.” You whimper.

The girl whines again, her eyes open and closing in two second intervals.

she raises her arm pointing a shaking finger in the direction behind you.

You wipe your eyes, blood no doubt trailing on your face now.

“What?” You croak. “What is it?” You turn around and see Ramos Malik limping over to you, a large knife in his hand.

You stand, putting distance between him, yourself and the girl.

“You’re a real bitch, you know that?’ An injured Ramos says, limping toward you with his knife pointed. “Trying to get me caught up in some trap, but you weren’t even smart enough to shut off your phone!” He screams, lunging at you with the knife.

You tumble backwards, your back and head hitting the marble floor with the weight of you both. You cry out as pain sears through you, especially your hand.

It takes you a moment of readjusting to the bright lights and sounds to realize why. You caught the fucking knife in your hand.

You scream, as Ramos pulls it from your palm in a slice. Your hand open and bleeding, you cry out and roll away from another vicious attack by Ramos.

He growls and lunges at you again, grabbing a tuft full of your curls. You beat at his legs with your good hand, squirming in his grip. He pulls at your hair, making you scream, lowering his knife to your neck, pressing inward.

You let out an animalistic scream, pressing your thumb into the oozing wound on his leg. He screeches, falling to his knees.

Wasting no time, you crawl away.

You think you’ve gotten far enough.

You rise up on your knees and push the elevator button, but the cold hand on your ankle snatches you back.

You claw at the marble floors, leaving a trail of blood, as Ramos drags you like a rag doll. He stops, flipping you over and planting his weight on top of you.

You flail, kicking the ground and scratching at his face, desperate for him to let go. But he doesn’t. Instead, he cages you with his legs and wraps both hands around your neck, applying so much pressure that your vision blurs.

Under his grip, your breaths become distant and faint. Your muscles relax, and your eyes bulge. Turning your head to the side, you can barely make out the flashing blue and red lights from outside.

The team is here. But you're not sure they'll find you in time because Ramos is relentless, and the air in your lungs is vanishing. Your skull feels like it’s being crushed, the pressure intense.

You feel yourself slipping away, losing focus on your surroundings. Ramos moves your head to face him, and he’s a mass of incoherent clouds above you, the only clear thing are his dark, empty eyes.

“Look at me, baby. I like my victims to look at me before they die,” he growls, spit slipping from his mouth. “I hope Aretas finds you like—”

Ramos drops, and oxygen rushes back into your lungs like a clap of thunder.

You shudder on the ground, scraping at your neck and slapping your chest.

Warm hands engulf your cheeks, and it takes a minute for the blur to leave your vision. When it does, you see Armando before you, a smoking gun at his side.

“¿Estás bien, mamá?”

His voice barely registers before oxygen slips from your lungs again, and you slump over, hitting the ground.

Armando scoops you up, and even though it should be a relief, you can’t help but be saddened by the way your team jumps over the girl you couldn’t save.

Darkness swallows you whole as your team swarms you and Armando.

###

“The stitches will dissolve on their own in time as your wound heals itself.’ Kelly says, tightening the last of the bandages on the hand Ramos had sliced.

“Thanks, Kelly.’ You smiled softly, rubbing at the soreness that still lingered all over your body, especially your neck.

Ramos and his men had been arrested, not on the charges the team had planned, but still, getting him locked away for attempted murder of a police officer and soliciting drugs would have to be good enough for now.

Kelly rubs your shoulders, a soft sigh leaving her lips. “I’m really sorry this happened to you,’ she says, eyeing your injuries, the bandages on your knees and hands, the purple-ish bruise on your neck, and the small scratches and scrapes all over your body. You definitely weren’t as hot as you were that night.

“It’s okay.” You smile. “I’m still here, so.” You shrug.

“You were brave that night, saving that girl. We’re all so proud of you.” Kelly says.

You shake your head. “But I didn't save her, Kels. She died. Right there, she bled out.’ Tears start to rim your eyes as the memories of the girl and her blood in your hands flare in your mind. “Fuck,” you cover your eyes with your palms. “I could hardly save myself that night…if it wasn’t for Armando, I’d be dead.”

You sniffle, taking a seat on a nearby stool. “I’m not cut of for the field, and I don’t think I should ever do it again.”

Kelly swarms you. “No. Don’t say that.’ She shakes her head. “We’ve all been there, helpless, but that’s why we’re a team. We cover each other's six when shit gets rough. So don’t feel bad, we won’t let you.”

You nod slowly, trying to let her words penetrate your soul so that you could really believe them. But right now, you couldn’t. You put everyone at risk because you made a rookie mistake by leaving your phone on.

You were to blame for all the carnage, all the bloodshed and chaos.

Armando was right, it was a suicide mission. And it was all your fault.

Kelly’s phone ringing thrusts you out of your thoughts.

She reads the screen number and looks at you. 'I got to go,’ she motions. “But if you need me, call me, seriously.”

You nod and wave her goodbye. You turn and fully expect to hear the compound's heavy, steel doors slam shut and lock, but they never do.

On high alert you turn and meet eyes with Armando. He’s in his typical black on black, head to toe. The only thing different about him is the white bandage covering the bulge of his arm.

You try not to stare too hard at the way his black shirt clings to his body, flexing every taunt muscle as he strides down the steps and towards you with a force.

Refocusing, you work on the project at hand—Dorns broken drone. You mesh wires together and a spark comes alive, something like the sparks you feel when Armando takes a seat next to you, leaving up against the steel work table.

“So that’s it, eh?” He says, staring at you. “Gonna ignore me.”

You keep fussing with your wires. “Not sure there is much to say.”

Armando chuckles bitterly. “I’m sure I could find some words. How about we start with, lo siento or soy un maldito idiota.”

You slam down your tools and turn to face him, fire blazing in your eyes. “I don’t even know what the fuck you just said.” You growl.

Armando stands, towering over you. “I’d be happy to translate for you, princesa. It means you fucked up and cost alot of people their lives.”

You flinch at his words, more reality of your mistake clouding over you. “You don’t think I know that? I’ve regretted my mistake every night when I cry myself to sleep because all I can see is that girl's face.

Your voice wavers. “Her blood.”

“If you feel like that then you should have listened to me when I told you that mission was suicide.” He growls.

“Fuck you.” You spat, walking away.

Armando catches your forearm, pulling you back towards him. “I’m not done, so don’t walk away from me.”

“Let me the hell go!” You try jerking from his grip but it’s no use, you’re stuck, stuck taking his abuse.

“No, you need to know that it was your fault out there. That your place is in the chair,’ he motions to your desk behind you. “You can’t handle the field, you’re not built for it.”

The need to prove him wrong boils in your gut causing you to lift your hand and swing it out towards Armando’s face.

Bad idea.

He catches your arm with ease and now both your limbs are in his hands. You try to snatch away, but Armando keeps you steady, pulling you closer until the two of you are breaths away from each other.

The heat in your chest spreads like wildfire as you watch Armando’s eyes linger on your bruised lips, then trailing down slowly to your hands and legs, accessing all your injuries as if they matter to him.

“Besides,’ he trails on, his index finger glazing cautiously over the ring bruise on your neck. “If it wasn’t more me out there, princesa, you’d be dead.”

“I didn’t think…”

“That’s the point,’ Armando holds you steady. “You didn’t think, and you not using your head almost got you killed. And if you would have died I—.”

There's a quivering pause in Armando’s voice, his eyes slam shut tight. You don’t know what to make of this, one second he hates you and the next he cares if you’re dead or not. Armando is a mystery you’re too tired to decode.

You jerk from his grasps once more and this shocks his eyes back open.

“Are you done?” You manage to say.

Armando licks his lips, slowly releasing you from his grasp.

“I’m done,’ he says, backing away from you.

You hold onto the steel table for support, the scorch of his touch slowly fleeting.

You hear the steel door crack open and turn to watch him leave, but he’s halted at the precipice, “One last thing, stay in the chair next time. It’s where you belong.”

With that he leaves, the steel door slamming shut and your confidence crumbling down.

You tried your hardest to not let Armando affect you, but he does. His words cut you deeper than Ramos’s knife. Maybe he was right, maybe you should just stay in the chair. But what if there was another time they needed you in the field? Could you just say no without feeling immense guilt? Probably not.

So when you write your resignation and leave it on your desk and walk away from the compound, you do it because you can’t stand to see the people you care about get hurt, all because you’re not a good enough cop.

###

“Okay, seriously! Are you really going to be that stupid and go back into the house where you know the killer is! Come on Noah!” You shout at your television screen.

It’s been a week since you put in your resignation and the amount of discourse behind it has resulted in you shutting off your phone and locking yourself inside, watching shitty horror movies to pass the time.

Because if you step foot outside, you’ll be mobbed by friends from the department and your friends from AMMO who, to say the least, weren’t happy about your resignation.

All but one.

Not that he mattered anyway.

They all hated that you quit, saying you needed to come back immediately and talk this out. But you couldn’t.

How could you face them when you were such a coward and created all that chaos? They worked so hard to save lives and keep order and you did nothing but fuck shit up.

It was time to jump ship before someone else got hurt in the crossfires of your neglect.

The thought pushes you deeper into your plush green couch that sits far back into your home, well renovated garage. But hey, Miami is expensive, and this place was renting out, so you just renovated it. A little love all around and it became an actual home.

You let loose a small smile looking around, the walls, once bare and industrial, now are splattered with a lively palette of bright yellows, deep blues, and playful greens. They are decorated with framed posters of all the things you love: vintage video games, classic sci-fi movies, and beloved comic book covers, each one a nod to your past. Strings of fairy lights crisscross the ceiling, casting a soft, whimsical glow that contrasts beautifully with your high-gear equipment scattered throughout.

Your floor is a patchwork of colorful rugs, each with its own story. Some are intricately patterned, those are the ones your parents gifted you, while others are simple yet bold, adding a splash of color to the room. Together, they might be your favorite part of the whole place, just because they keep your bare feet warm on lazy nights like these.

In one corner, a plush, oversized bean bag chair sits next to a low coffee table cluttered with all your retro memorabilia – old gaming cartridges, Rubik's cubes, and a couple of well-worn graphic novels.

The heart of your home garage is the tech haven. Your large, custom-built desk stretches along one wall, supporting your impressive army of monitors in various sizes. High-end computers hum quietly, their cases glowing with neon lights. Cables and wires, though numerous, are neatly organized, snaking their way through the room in an orderly fashion.

Shelves above and around the desk hold a treasure trove of tech gadgets and components – everything from VR headsets and drones to soldering kits and spare parts. A 3D printer sits in a place of honor, its latest creation still cooling on the print bed.

Your home made you feel complete, but still after you quit you do feel a little empty. You miss the small talks at work, the laughter, the bickering, the teasing. It just wasn’t the same alone. But again, it was for the best, because if there is one thing you know—keeping your family safe is the most important thing, above all.

And you’d hate to be their reckoning.

Flipping open your laptop you continue to scroll through your job search.

“What do you think, Chester?’ You say to your golden retriever. “Tech support job? Or maybe we go dark and get into hacking for higher companies.”

Chester whines, fidgeting in his spot next to you.

“You’re right, no going bad. Tech support it is.’ Chester rummages around a bit more before springing over your coach, darting towards the door. “Hey, I can work from home with this one!” You say.

Chester’s barks ring out, bouncing off the walls relentlessly.

You stand and make your way over to what’s got him so riled up. At the door, you bend down and pet him, still doing nothing to soothe his barks.

“Chessy, what’s wrong, huh?” You grab his collar, pulling him towards the door and opening it.

You stick both your heads out the door, turning them left and right, the only thing you see and hear is darkness and the bad storm slamming outside. You pull back inside and Chester sticks to you like glue. “See, nothing to worry about.’ You squat down to love on your dog, who's growling like crazy right now. “We aren’t like Noah, we don’t go into scary houses for fun. We’re safe here, Ramos is gone. ” You pat his head, but that only makes him bark more.

“Chester, enough already.” you stand, moving towards the kitchen and getting yourself a glass out of the cabinet, flicking on the sink, and filling it with water.

Your just about to take a sip when a loud crack of lighting explodes, illuminating your dark house, revealing a cloaked figure behind you.

You scream and drop your cup, shards exploding on the ground around your feet. Chester is in a full on frenzy right now, and rightfully so. Could this be Ramos’s men, did he send them to finish you off?

“You’re one crazy bitch, you know that?”

“Look at me, baby. I like my victims to look at me before they die.”

You scrape at your neck, the tender bruise making you hiss as if the pressure of Ramos choking you has never left.

The figure steps forward and you screech, ripping a butcher knife from your kitchen sink, and pointing it at them.

“Back the fuck up!” You scream. “I’m a fucking cop!” You take wobbly steps back, watching Chester go up the figure and sniff them…then roll over?

Chester by no means is an aggressive dog, but he loves you, and if he sensed you were in danger he’d protect you with his life. So when he begins to receive pets from the intruder, you lower your knife.

“Kelly?” You say, she knows Chester, you’ve brought him to the compound many times before, but she’s the only one on your team who has a key to your place.

The figure doesn’t answer, they just move over to the corner of the kitchen, flipping on the light.

Your shoulders drop the moment you see his thick beard and warm-brown skin peeking from underneath his black hoodie.

Armando.

“How the fuck did you get in?” You cross your arms over your chest.

Armando shrugs off his jacket, tossing it onto your kitchen stools. “It’s not exactly a place with state of the art security.”

“I could have killed you, Chester too.”

Armando snickers. “You and your pooch wouldn’t have done a thing.”

You grumble, crossing the kitchen landscape and moving towards the coaches. “What do you want, you're interrupting my movie night.”

Armando follows, hot on your trail. “I can see that. By the way, is that hello kitty on your pajamas?”

You look down and groan. Of course you’d be wearing something totally embarrassing when your least favorite ex-coworker breaks into your house.

“Stop switching the subject. Why are you here?”

Armando rustles in his pocket before pulling out a paper and shoving it into your hands.

You’re careful to unfold it because there is rain damage from the storm, but when you get it open, despite the smooshed ink on the page, you see it’s your resignation letter.

“Okay, and?” You shrug.

“Okay, and, take it back.” He says.

You chuckle. “You’re joking, right. Like you have to be joking.”

Armando’s face is straight. “I’m not.”

You plop down on your couch. “I’m not taking it back, I'm already looking at different jobs.”

A scoff leaves his lips. “So that’s it, eh? You’re just going to run away.”

You close your eyes and let out a deep sigh. “Weren't you the one who told me I should quit?”

“I never said that. I said you needed to stay in the chair, and still, you did the opposite of that.” He says.

You stand. “What’s the point of saying I’m a cop, if I don’t actually save people. You said that entire night was on me, so I backed away from the situation and now you’re mad?”

Armando sits quietly for a moment, tapping his leg against the ground. “I never said quit.”

“It doesn’t matter what you said. I did what I felt I needed to do.”

Armando scoffs, turning in his seat. “Yeah I can see that, real egoísta if you ask me.”

You stand, marching over towards the kitchen. “You know I have no clue what you’re saying.”

Armando turns, follows you, taking a seat at the bar. And before you know it, just like that compound before, you're caged between his legs.

“I called you selfish.”

You let out a gasp. “How the hell am I selfish?”

“Because you left the team!”

“I left the team to keep everyone safe! Not because I’m selfish!”

“We're safe! And we’ll be safer knowing that you’re safe, too, especially with some of Ramos’s associates still out there! I—we need to keep tabs on you.”

You stumble back. “What?’ You swallow. “Are you telling me my life is in danger? That Ramos will send people after me?”

“It’s a possibility we’re considering,’ Armando says, his eyes never leaving you as you sit across from him. “But if you come back to work we can keep you safe.”

“And what’s to say they won’t come for me any other time?” You croak. “Being in that compound doesn’t guarantee my safety.”

Armando rubs a slow hand over his face. “But I can.” He says, hardly above a whisper.

“You. Protect me?”

“Why is that so far-fetched?” He says.

“Armando, you hate me.”

“You keep putting words in my mouth, princesa, and I don’t like it.”

“I’m not putting words in your mouth. It’s just, actions speak louder.’ You shrug. “Ever since you got into AMMO, we’ve been the least close out of everybody. No matter how hard I tried, we just never connected. So yes, I’m sorry if I find you putting yourself on the line for me, unprovoked, a little hard to believe.”

Armando stands, his frame opposing against yours. He lifts his shirt and you hiss at what you see. Bandages, dried blood, and purple bruises litter his torso.

You look away but he catches your chin with his thumb, pulling your attention back to him.

“I wouldn’t put myself on the line for you,’ he said, pulling his shirt back down. “I already fucking did.”

“I never asked you too.” You mutter, looking away ashamed that you caused that.

“You didn’t have to.’ He sighs. “I couldn’t stand to see you get hurt.”

“What?” You turn, slow tears building, blurring your vision now.

“I didn’t want you to go out there because, as much as I try to hide it, I care about you.” Armando says, hot brown eyes melting into you.

You blink, stalling and stepping back. Armando…cares about you? Those two things shouldn’t even be in conjunction and your brain can’t process that they are.

The man in front of you has never been anything but harsh towards you, now he comes to your home in the middle of the night begging you to come back to work and confessing his feelings for you.

You truly must be dreaming…this can’t be real. Not that you’d be mad if it was. Despite all your bickering and misunderstandings, you still held a soft spot for Armando. You could see he was trying to be a better person, a more open person, regardless of his flaws.

And there were moments when he was kind to you, like opening doors for you, walking side by side with you to your car late at night, never forgetting to get your lunch along with the teams if you couldn’t make it. You knew he had a nice side to him and that’s why you showed him yours time and time again. Showed him it was okay to be vulnerable, but now he is, truly is, and you can’t even compute it.

“Why would you say something like that?” You swallow, something weird stirring inside of you, making you step closer towards him.

Armando does the same, closing the gap between you two. “Say what, princesa? The truth.”

You don’t mean to, but you whimper as the nickname leaves his lips. You look down, heat flushing in your cheeks. “Please don’t call me that.”

Armando scoops your chin with his index finger, your eyes latching and twinkling under the soft glow of your house's lights. “¿Por qué? no puedo manejarlo.”

“No.” You breath, studying every bridge and sharp angle of his face. This close, his beauty is unbelievable.

Armando’s thick, kept beard, is just as dark as his hair. His brown eyes are surrounded by a shade of full lashes, and his plump pink lips, glistening in the soft light. Armando Aretas was hard to resist and that’s why you feel yourself falling closer into him.

Like your mind is on autopilot, your hands fall to his chest, resting there and feeling every muscle he’s worked so hard for.

“I can see that.” Armando smirks. “I can also see that you care for me, too.”

“I—,”

“Want me to show you how I know?” He whispers, lips touching your ear and making you gasp.

You nod. There was no point in resisting him at that moment. Not that you wanted to either.

In one swift motion, Armando bends down and then you're airborne. His hands rest underneath your thighs as he carries you to your bedroom.

Walking over, your eyes never leave each other. You open your mouth to speak as a thought holds you captive.

“Is this why you said all those mean things? To discourage me because you didn’t want me to get hurt?” You ask, caressing his face in your hands.

Armando leans into the touch, nodding his head just as you two pass through the door of your bedroom.

He sets you down gently and you cling your arms around his neck.

“Why didn’t you just tell me that?” You ask.

Armando’s hands encircle your waist as he sighs. “I didn’t know how. I was just so angry that they’d even ask you to do something like that anyway.”

“And you were angry because you liked me?”

Armando nods.

“And when I was pretending to be Jenna…were you acting then, too?”

Armando chuckles, biting his lip, you look away to keep from melting. “You mean when I smacked your ass? I might have taken advantage of the situation then.”

You hit his chest and laugh. “I can’t believe you. That’s a violation!”

Armando leans in close. “I’d be happy to violate you some more, princesa.”

You chuckle lightly and wither out of his grip, taking a seat on the bed.

Armando frowns, sitting next to you. “What’s wrong? Was it something I sa—,”

“No. It’s fine. It’s just…I’ve never actually been with anyone before.”

Armando stills. “Oh. I was just joking with you,” he stands. “I can leave.”

Quickly, you grab his wrist, pulling him back. “No. I don’t want you to.’ You stand, taking his face in your hands and pulling him close. His lips are inches from yours and you can feel his nose brush against yours. “I want you to show me, just like you said.” You moan, placing your lips onto his.

Armando shutters, placing a hand on the nape of your neck. He opens his mouth, swiping his tongue over the bottom of your lips, asking for entry. You oblige and he slips inside, turning the kiss hot and fierce.

Armando swallows every moan you release, gripping your hips and pushing you back against the bed, his weight gently hovering on top of you.

He uses his legs, he spreads you open, you gasp at the motion allowing him access to your neck.

Like a man starving, Armando attacks your neck with hot-trailed kisses, lingering sucks and suckles, and licks that drive you wild, the heat between your legs pulsing now with desire.

“Fuck,’ you gasps and he palms over one of your breasts, sucking on the tender spot beneath your ear.

“Te gusta ese, bebe?” Armando whispers against your skin.

You shake your head “Yes.” You whimper.

Armando leans back, pulling at your top. “Let’s get this off of you, eh?”

You sit up just enough, allowing him access to pull the fabric off of you.

In a flash he peels your shirt off of you, leaving you bare in front of him.

Impulse has you covering yourself, but Armando reaches out, slowly moving your arms away from your chest.

“Don’t hide from me, mama.” He says, eyes darkening when he finally has a full view of your boobs.

“Mierda, you’re so beautiful baby.” He moans.

You shutter as he talks one breast in his hands, rubbing circles with it, while the other he latches his plump lips onto, sucking at your nipples.

The sensation causes your head to snap back and a deep, repressed moan to fly from your lips. Armando was doing the lords work with both his hand and tongue.

You squirm, squeezing your legs together and stimulating your spot, making your pants leak with want.

You had never had to opportunity to be with a man before, but in this moment you wanted nothing more than to fuck Armando.

“Fuck me,” you moan out. “Please.”

Armando chuckles, the sensation against your nipple makes you hiss. “Estás tan impaciente, princesa.’ He smacks your ass. “But eh, if that’s what you want, that’s what you’ll get.” He smirks, pushing you down against the bed.

He hovers on top, snatching his shirt off. All of his rippling muscles on display before you. You bite your lip at the site, hoping to see more and soon.

“If you want me to fuck you, will have to get rid of these, no?” He pulls at the strings of your pajama bottoms.

You nod, eager to have him inside of you.

In a blur, Armando pulls off your pants, tossing them to the side.

If you thought you saw darkness in his eyes when he saw your boobs, the look he has now is nothing in comparison. His eyes are nearly pitch black as he takes in what is soon to be his.

Armando spreads open your legs, hissing once he gets a glimpse at your glistening cunt.

You moan just at the thought of bearing it all in front of him.

“God, fuck.” He says, pulling down his pants and revealing a surprise of his own that makes you gasp.

Though covered in boxers, you can see just what he was working with. And to say the least, he was huge, and thick.

“Come here, baby.’ He moans, pulling you by your thighs to the edge of the bed. “Let me taste you.” He says.

You watch as Armando’s head lowers between your legs and the second his mouth touches your pussy, you fell back into the bed.

His mouth makes quick work of you, versing between sucking on your clit and licking your slit in a rhythm that builds a euphoria inside your gut.

The force of his tongue against your pussy and the pressure of his lips wrapped around your swollen clit has your back arching and screaming out.

Your toys had nothing on Armando.

“Please,” you whimper and try to squirm, but Armando holds you in place, slapping your ass twice as hard as a repercussion.

With each pass of his tongue, circling arcs on your pussy you can feel yourself climbing to the edge. Armando must feel it too because he puts the cherry on top when he sinks a thick finger inside of you.

“Oh my—ugh!”

You’re a whimpering, whining mess. The sheets beneath you turning a new shade of green as you soak them with your slick.

Armando adds another finger in for good measure only adding to the build up in your stomach. Each pump, suck, and lick causes a buckle to snap inside of you and a high only the man eating you out right now can give you is climbing.

You reach higher, and higher. Your orgasm just around the bend.

One last pump and suck, and you come undone, all over Armando’s face.

Armando comes back up from the floor, crawling over top of you. With the little moonlight that shines into your bedroom you can see yourself covering his beard, droplets of cum covering most of it.

“Taste yourself for me.” He growls, lowering his lips into yours.

You latch on and a sweet, yet neutral, flavor slips onto your lips as you and Armando kiss in a harmonious rhythm.

You never let go from his grasps as your hand travels down. You grab a hold of his massive, bulging cock.

Armando hisses and whimpers as you begins to stroke it with a various pressures: soft, hard, slow, the soft again. He shutters above you, his faces desperate and pleading.

“You’ll make me come like that.’ He breaths, gripping your hands. “I thought you were a virgin?”

“I am,’ you hiss, still squirming. “But I think it’s a bullshit construct. I’m still highly sexual,’ you say, pulling at his cock, bringing it forth. “And I want to be highly sexual with you.”

Armando bites his lips, pulling you into his lap. “Eres un problema, princesa.”

“I know,” you say, kissing him once more.

You rock back and forth, feeling his cock press against your needing pussy. The pressure making you both shake in anticipation.

Armando breaks the kiss. “Do you have a condom?”

You shake your head. “No, but I’m on birth control.”

He nods. “Good, you’re going to need it.”

He flips you over so that he is on top. Finally, he reaches down and slips out of his boxers, his cock, thick, long and full, springs to life and you can’t help but moan. Your pussy is aching with the need to be filled.

Armando spreads your legs open, angling the tip of his cock with your pussy’s pulsing entrance.

“Are you sure about this, baby?” He asks.

“I’m sure. Now fuck me, please.”

Armando obeys, slowly slipping his cock inside of you.

You hiss at the burning, stretching pain, digging your nails into his back as he pushes in, your pussy swallowing him inch by inch.

“Mm,” you croak.

Armando stops. “Are you okay?” He shakes

You grip at his ass, forcing him inside deeper, despite the burn you’re desperate to feel all of him. “Don’t stop.” You moan. “Please keep going.”

Armando pushes in further and deeper, tearing you open, until you’re fully stretched and he’s reached the depths of your ocean.

You two stay still for a moment, him allowing you time to adjust to the new stretching sensation and his size.

You lean up to kiss him. He deepens it, molding his mouth to yours, before slowly moving.

You moan, holding onto him as he picks up the pace, thrusting into you faster.

You can feel the pain melting into pleasure the more he pounds into you.

Harder and faster you begin to feel yourself loose control, your euphoria coming to hit its second peak.

“Fuck me, ugh! Please, Armando!” You shot, lifting your legs, granting him deeper access.

Armando grips the tiny mound between your hip and leg, using it as leverage to drive his thick cock deeper into your soaking wet pussy.

Animalistic groans leave his lips as he drives into you at an unholy pace. The sounds of skin slapping and drawn out, breathy moans fill the room, reaching a devilish peak when you scream out, coming and pulsing around his cock.

Armando follows you not shortly after, his dick pulsing and pumping his spillage into you.

He rolls off of you, taking you in his arms and placing a sweaty kiss on your forehead.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” He murmurs on your forehead.

“Okay.” You smile, your legs sore and your middle aching.

Armando lifts you up bridal-style and carries you into the bathroom.

Soon you’re surrounded by steam and soap as you two bathe each other down.

Showered, you two snuggle in bed, a burning question still at the forefront of your mind.

“Armando?” You say.

“Hm,’ he is hardly awake at this point.

“When did you realize you cared about me?” You ask, angling your head to head to get a good look at him.

Armando chuckles, stroking your curls you have yet to put in a bonnet. “I think I always did. I was just scared.”

“Scared? Of what?”

“Maybe that you wouldn’t see me the way i see you.” He sighs. “I see only the good in you, and maybe that makes me a blind man, but I’m certain you’re a woman who can see through facades, and you wouldn’t see any goodness in me.”

You sit up. “That’s not true. Armando, of course you’ve done terrible things, but that’s not what I see when I look at you.”

Armando takes a hold of your bandaged hand, placing a small kiss on the palm. “So what do you see?”

“Now? I just see you, and all the tiny little good things that I love.”

A small smile graces Armando’s face before he leans in, kissing you softly. You sigh against his lips, not wanting this moment to end.

Though you two had some struggles, you wouldn’t have this pairing any other way.

You just wished you’d checked your blind spot early to see all the little signs you were missing.

[alicenpai]

the shadow and her living doll 🌹🌼 print for montreal otakuthon! come see me at next week from aug 11-13 ✌

you can grab it as a print here if you so wish ! WIPs & other thoughts under the cut

shadows house is such a fantastic series & i wholeheartedly recommend it... the story delves into super dark horror elements but doesn't present itself as a story with no hope. hope must be found and then tenaciously gripped with all one's heart, much like pandora's box. it tickles the victorian gothic part of my brain forever imprinted on me since i was 14 haha...

in the first draft i had marionette strings hanging above the characters (kinda reminds me of Erased.. since I just finished rewatching that ahaha...) & shadow puppet hands on the sides, almost as if gripping each character. i decided against it in the end, to let the characters shine in the spotlight (literally).

i also wanted a more active or lively pose, but kept in line with the stiff victorian portrait style, caused by long camera exposure times. i'm not sure if that worked out better bc i'm unsure if this drawing is interesting to people wahahaha.

initially i also wanted more of a dollhouse theme, but each draft got more and more muddy, so i decided to save it for another day (i'm around ch 90 in the manga, so probably a good call to save a more complex idea until i'm all caught up)

^ quick 5 min style test i posted recently! in that post i stated that i wanted to streamline and simplify my art style more, especially after the recent bunch of illustrations i did in the past winter that took way too long to complete, at the sake of my health.

im continually looking for areas to simplify more in my art, but one of the areas i will NOT skimp on is depicting fabric!!!!!

what also helped was working on my sense of structure in my spare time, so that i could be better at depicting form without relying so much on shading to show 3d forms. i love colouring, but i need to be working smarter, not harder from now on. using 100000 shades and highlights is just not feasible anymore wahaha.

in this drawing i loosened up with the bg and kept it rough, inspired by the wonderful xeroxed bgs of 101 dalmatians, and only implied details, rather than actually rendering all of them.

the tldr is that i draw too slowly i just would like to be able to make more drawings more often!!

[luckykiwiii101]

What I Will Be Manifesting This Week :

What I will be manifesting this week:

- Desired Body (Revised)

- Always Waking Up In The Void State Aware

- That my 3D always conforms in under 48 hours

What Will I Be Doing?

- Embodying the state of having my desires.

- Fulfilling myself in imagination whenever I think of my desires.

- Fulfill through visualisation and inner conversations because that is what feels most natural to me.

What Will I Manifest In The Void State?

- Desired Face & Body but with some finishing touches. (doll - like, kind of like Karen smith from mean girls)

- Desired Height (5’7)

- Desired hair (doll - like)

- Desired Name (so elegant and pretty!)

- Desired Personality

- Desired voice (singing & speaking)

- Desired Vibe (90s Supermodel)

- Desired house (so luxurious)

- Desired room (Barbie x Gossip Girl themed)

- Desired Wardrobe (Blair Waldorf type outfits)

- iPhone 15 Pro + Desired Phone Case

- New Desired Biological Dad + New cousins & aunties etc to match

- Revising that my parents got married in Paris

- Rich Family

- All my family members are happy and have everything they want

- Privacy

- Pretty School Interior & Exterior

- Desired School Uniform

- My best friends to live on the same road as me and to have everything they want.

- Perfect mental and physical health for all my loved ones.

- Desired Career to start early (Supermodel for when i’m 17)

- Perfect Posture

- Perfect Eyesight

- Perfect Culinary & Baking Skills

- Fluency in French & Dutch

- Piano Prodigy + being able to play desired songs on it

- Good at playing electric guitar

- Changing Appearance of my family members

- Revising my family’s names

- Always knowing what to say

- Family celebrates holidays like Christmas & Halloween

- Revising my memories to align with my dream life

- Photographic & audiographic memory

- Perfect grades

- Whenever I listen to a song, it feels like listening to it for the first time again.

- Desired Items

- Immune from embarrassment + Revising that any past embarrassing moments never happened

- Life feels like the early 2010’s again

- Life feels like a Gossip Girl Episode (You know I had to XoXo 💋)

- Life feels like a barbie movie (like princess charm school or smthg idk)

- Looking like desired songs

- Can Choose To feel hot or cold

- airport and plane processes to be always extremely fun and quick for my family, friends and I

- Teen Wolf & The Originals to be put back on Netflix

- Season 3 of One Of Us Is Lying to come out

- Some cute things for my pets

- Always know what my pets want

- My whole family to have good taste in fashion

- Go on nice holidays every year

- Materialise something instantly by affirming for it x3

- Kind, Respectful & Secular Family

- Disgusting Roadman fashion in London to be stopped (ew if u saw that shizz)

- Fashion to go back to the 90s and early 2000s

- People At School Don’t annoy me

- High Spice Tolerance

- Always Wake Up Feeling Fresh & Energised

- Never late to school

- Desired ear piercings

- Scary Insects never come near me (especially spiders AAAAH!!!)

- I appreciate all aspects of life

- Never abuse my manifesting abilities

- Everything i manifest manifests 10x better than how i imagined

- Basically revising my whole entire life top to bottom

+ much more personal things

Things I Will Be Manifesting For The World:

- World Peace in all realities

- No wars in all realities

- Palestine being free in all realities

- World healing

- Healed society

- Righteous justice system

- No corrupt leaders

- No corrupt governments etc

- Healthcare everywhere is free

- People are good people

- People treat eachother with respect and kindness

Guys, I will definitely go into more depth when i actually materialise all these and post my success story. + Will probably post some picture proof of materialistic things in my home and outfits etc but not my face or anything personal like that.

I wrote everything i’m going to manifest on here because I know i’m not going to be bothered to type it all out when i’m actually living my dream life in the 3D 💀

Share what you guys will be manifesting and stick to your new story so we can all post our successes together!!!

[myun-saidthoughts]

The Complexities of Having a Water Moon & It's Influence When Dealing With Saturn/Neptune/Pluto Aspects:

I wanted to make a post about aspects and how much influence aspects can have within a chart. (Needless to say the zodiac sign the planet is in/and the house it is in will bring influence as well)

My theory is that when it comes to your Sun, or Moon and there are aspects towards those planets that are extremely tight orbs; (the tighter the orb the more influential it is towards the natal individual) will cause an internal shift, these aspects can influence 3D manifestations of either harsh or soft experiences and situations. The Moon and Sun in a natal individual represents the Mother and the Father as well as your self identity, your ego, the confidence you hold (or lack thereof) and emotional coping styles/how you process emotion and feelings.

To begin, how well or poorly your Moon is aspected in your chart is key to understanding your emotions. It also reveals how you perceive your mother, how she processed emotions, and how she dealt with them.

Therefore if you have a water moon such as a Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces moon, this would mean a few different things with how you perceive your mother and how you process emotions.

Note: Your IC and your moons aspects will be the true dictator of how intense or harsh your emotions/your relationship with your mother can be.

I also personally believe if you have had a harsh or cold childhood then these tendencies to take on other zodiac traits will be more prominent or present, as well as if you have natal 8th, or 12th house placements along with these harsh aspects to your moon then that is when the influence of this will be very prominent.

Neptune rules Pisces

Saturn rules Capricorn and Aquarius

Pluto rules Scorpio

I am aware that Saturn is traditionally ruled by Aquarius and Uranus modernly rules Aquarius, but for this purpose, I will state both rulerships. I will provide descriptions of what it means when these outer planets aspect your Moon.

So if you have a Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces moon that tightly opposes, conjuncts, or squares Neptune, Pluto, Saturn, or Uranus, you will take on traits similar to a Pisces, Scorpio, Aquarius, or Capricorn moon.

(You basically will have your natal moon but with the influence of another zodiac trait; and this can influence your natal moon qualities)

A direct example of this is if you're a Scorpio moon but it aspects Neptune, you may exhibit more Piscean qualities by default. Alternatively, if it aspects Saturn, you may display more Aquarian or Capricorn traits by default.

This also means if you have a Pisces moon that also harshly aspects Neptune, you may be more Piscean in nature, so you deal with more Piscean themes when it comes to love, romance or emotions etc.

Water Moon Aspecting Neptune:

If your Moon conjuncts, opposes, or squares Neptune; then you may have tendencies to act as a Pisces moon when it comes to themes related to emotion. Whatever house your Moon is in will paint a better picture of what theme would invoke Pisces tendencies. This also would be more prominent if you have 12th House placements, such as a 12th house Moon, Venus, Sun, Mars, or Mercury.

With this placement (and on the extreme spectrum), if you have a Cancer moon that harshly aspects Neptune, you might have been the child who comforted or gave aid to your mother starting at a very young age. She might have always been asking for help or been helpless in some shape or form. She might have struggled with partnerships, and she wasn't the type of Mom that you needed. You might have seen her always being pushed around by the people around her or throughout her life, and boundaries weren't consistent in your home. As a Cancer moon, you might have been the one taking care of her, making sure she ate, had enough water, or you constantly worried about her. There were times where she might come to you for comfort rather than the other way around. You more than likely parented her because a part of you felt like you had to, there was this unsaid obligation within where you felt like you had to take on this role.

With a Scorpio moon that tightly aspects Neptune (in an extreme sense the tighter the orb the more influential this aspect will be for the native) the relationship between the two of you might have been more extreme, intense, and emotionally charged. There were constant battles and shifts from intense emotional abandonment to complete presence. If she didn't show you love, you felt her hate. Explosiveness might have occurred, and she might have struggled with BPD tendencies or addiction. She might have shown you how much she could love you; and in an abrupt change of moment, show you how little she could. She might have chosen other people or things over you and her attitude towards you needs weren't a priority. With the Pisces nature she might have cried to you insistently over her problems, she might have shared her past, shared all the hurt she endured, and state how no one 'saved' her or came to her aid when she needed it the most. Because of that you now feel her pain, her damage and her wrath; you now may view her in a place of empathy or understanding, and that could blur the boundaries within you when it comes to accepting a type of love that doesn't serve you when it comes to romantic or platonic relationships.

In a general nature if your moon makes harsh aspects to Neptune your Mom might have struggled with reality, had self destructed coping mechanisms, addiction, dissociation, or she struggled with communicating necessary things to you. Boundaries for emotional support or the parent-child dynamic might have been something you were never satisfied with, and the boundaries between her being a Mom and you being the child were blurred. You understood her pain and therefore felt the need to take on her hurt, you may have allowed her abuse or mistreatment (however minor or severe it is) since there was a part of you that understood why she struggled, acted or made poor decisions.

(If you have a Pisces moon with the moon aspecting Neptune you may relate to everything I stated above)

On the other hand, if your Moon is in another sign or the IC is not poorly placed, or if this does not resonate with you, then your mom could have been overly dissociated in a different subtle manner. It may not have been a detrimental situation involving abuse or intensity, but perhaps she was never open or communicative with you in the way you needed, or she had other priorities or tasks she focused on. Or she may have even been reliant on medical drugs to manage her mental health, which could have created some distance between you both. Maybe she was present but not emotionally present in the way that your soul needed, she might have also brushed secrets, problems or issues away causing distance and reluctance with sharing your own issues or thoughts to her. You might have been confused with how she operated.

Now these definitions may also resonate with you if your Sun harshly aspects Neptune, and if that is the case your Father would be the one who struggles with the above statements. If your Sun isn't in a water sign the chances of his behavior still being influential towards you is still likely, especially if the orb is extremely tight. There are of course differences with how it may manifest but overall there will be similar themes

So with this natal placement and when it comes to your emotional nature, you could now have Pisces tendencies when it comes to how you love, want to be loved, or how you treat others, (especially so if you have a 12th house Venus, Sun, Mars etc).

EX: If you have a 11th House Scorpio Moon that aspects Neptune, you might become more Piscean when it comes to friendships. You may idealize the perfect friend group, long for a connected soul tribe, and place your own needs on the back burner for the sake of others, especially when it comes to friends and your community. You might find yourself giving to your friendships even when those individuals do not deserve your consideration or sacrifices. You place friendships on a very high pedestal, and often the boundaries of how you are as a friend can be taken advantage of. You may allow poor behavior to continue because seeking redemption with friends is second nature to you, especially if you struggle with confidence, self-worth, or self-love. Though you relate to a Scorpio Moon, on a subconscious level, you may exhibit Piscean tendencies in how you react to or treat others. Your emotional nature might be very intense; you may have deep compassion that others don’t share, and you can be more forgiving and open to rekindling connections because you "understand" them.

Water Moon Aspecting Pluto:

If your Moon conjuncts, opposes, or squares Pluto; then you may have tendencies to act as a Scorpio moon when it comes to themes related to emotion. This also would be more prominent if you have natal 8th house placements, such as a 8th house Moon, Venus, Sun, Mars, or Mercury.

Now when you have a water moon and it harshly negatively aspects Pluto, then the intensity of your emotions is more likely to be heightened, prominent, present and emotionally charged. In essence, this adds a deeper and darker layer when it comes to the connection between you and your Mom. It also showcases the relationship with how you process and deal with emotions. You might resonate with either an "all or nothing" mindset, emotions may arise and they might sit in you in a heavy manner, but once the feeling passes it may feel like that feeling that manifested is no longer representative of what you "actually" feel. This would be more accurate for those who struggle with contradictions in their natal chart; such as having an earth Sun or Rising. The more contradictions in your chart the more heavy this aspect will feel.

(The tighter the orb the more influential this aspect would feel for the natal individual)

This would usually also indicate that you search for relationships that hold intensity with constant highs or lows. You may search for eyes to bring you a sense of peace within your bones, and because of that you may overlook everything else about the individual because they allow you to feel so deep within; it fulfills your soul in a way that you can't mimic by yourself. Intense emotions often feels familiar within you and so if there is someone in your life that doesn't "create" that exact intense feeling within, the chances of you being drawn to or interested in them is less likely.

In other words, your childhood likely involved intense emotional experiences. Your mother may have frequently dealt with overwhelming emotions, often creating an environment charged with emotional intensity. She may have shown tendencies of BPD, sharing her feelings in a way that made you feel her pain deeply. As a result, your threshold for intense emotion is now very high.

This exposure may have led you to internalize a similar approach to handling emotions, making you more prone to experiencing emotional turmoil. You may sometimes have explosive episodes due to built-up anxiety or unresolved hurt from those early experiences, processing emotions in a way that mirrors the dynamics you grew up with. In my opinion this natal aspect could evoke internal complexities and self worth/value dilemmas. You may search for external validation where you need others to tell you that you are worthy, valuable or important. Without that outside reassurance the emptiness of who you are as you are may be blurry or nonexistent. You may have dealt with emotional abandonment due to your Mother being physically or emotionally absent in your life. She may have chosen other things, or situations over you which could have caused an internal self belief that you are not lovable, worthy or important. It's important to stay aware of self-undoing behaviors that could cause you more harm than good, especially if you are unaware of any internal wounds you have when it comes to abandonment, self worth, self value or self love.

I won't go too in-depth on how Pluto will manifest with each moon because, in my opinion, all water moons will have similar experiences when dealing with Pluto. But if your Pisces moon aspects Pluto then this might showcase your mother having an extreme behavior when it comes to needing something from the child. The child would either have to place their needs on the back burner by having to save or fix their mothers' wounds. This type of manifestation of the aspect might involve more nuanced or erratic behaviors, such as the mother asking for help or to be saved, then suddenly abandoning the child or leaving without warning. (This is an extreme case; the tighter the orb, the stronger the influence of this aspect).

Now these definitions may also resonate with you if your Sun harshly aspects Pluto, and if that is the case your Father would be the one who struggles with the above statements. If your Sun isn't in a water sign the chances of his behavior still being influential towards you is still likely, especially if the orb is extremely tight. There are of course differences with how it may manifest but overall there will be similar themes

Water Moon Aspecting Saturn:

If your Moon conjuncts, opposes, or squares Saturn; then you may have tendencies to act as a Capricorn moon when it comes to themes related to emotion. This also would be more prominent if you have natal 10th house placements, such as a 10th house Moon, Venus, Sun, Mars, or Mercury.

Another theme worth noting is the effect of a water moon aspected by Saturn. This aspect often creates a heightened push-and-pull between feeling emotions deeply and restraining them, which can be overwhelming. Emotions may arise readily within you, yet due to outside influences or early experiences, you may have learned to keep them quiet from a young age. You might have been taught, that crying signifies weakness, or perhaps you received praise for ignoring your emotions and now that pattern or reaction to emotions sits within you. 

If, as a child, you were hurt but, instead of naturally crying, you learned to swallow your pain—and may have even received acknowledgment for doing so—this pattern likely carried into adulthood. This learned approach now shapes how you process emotions, creating a tendency to feel deeply yet keep those feelings hidden, even from yourself. For those with a Scorpio moon, this internal struggle may feel even more pronounced, leading to an even greater tendency to avoid emotions or self-reflection altogether.

In life, you might rely more on logic during arguments and view situations with less empathy than would have if you were a child, you may feel as if focusing on logic is safer or more acceptable than expressing vulnerability. This conditioned tendency may stem from instances when, as a child, you needed comfort that never came. You learned to manage your feelings alone, often in isolation, which now makes it difficult to offer compassion or emotional attunement to others, as you haven’t learned to extend that same compassion to yourself.

In another sense since you have heightened emotions, another way your feelings could manifest is through physical symptoms. You may struggle with OCD tendencies, anxiety or have high reactions to minor situations. This is the only way your body knows how to process the built up pain or emotions you have stored in your body. Physically feeling a symptom often prompts you to act on it which prompts you to self soothe in those moments. But in reality the deep rooted pain within is either still being dismissed or ignored. The one emotion you may only allow yourself to feel is anger, being angry may somehow be the easiest visceral emotion to let out, but behind that anger there is more pain and misunderstanding than you may even be truly aware of (This specific analysis is on the extreme spectrum so if you don't resonate with the intensity of this particular polarity with emotions then disregard).

You may want to give others compassion or empathy but there's this part of your brain that doesn't allow you to do so. You can see others hurting but you can't readily feel their exact emotion within, therefore you may look at the situation as unnecessary. And when you do amount to your heightened emotion the chances of you having an overwhelming amount of feelings is very likely (but this may be more so true for those with a Scorpio moon that aspects Saturn) Overall, you are very sensitive within, you hold more emotion than you readily feel available to acknowledge and you've learned to shun that side of you away; but in one way or another these emotions will come flooding out. You may find yourself highly reactive when you drink alcohol, or you may be more emotional, this is the part of yourself that you more than likely hide or ignore when at wake.

Moreover, a water moon aspecting Saturn often reflects a significant influence from your mother in your life. She may have shared her pain with you in ways that felt overwhelming, while not offering the care, nurturing, or emotional presence you needed. Her emotional needs or turmoil may have often taken center stage, leaving you feeling overlooked or unimportant. She may have had narcissistic tendencies, where she would constantly belittle your pain or hurt and base the fact that she's "hurting" more than you ever could. That alone would cause a great internal struggle within yourself where you would feel like holding onto any emotion promoted more problems, and so you'd rather now ignore anything to do with deep emotion.

Your inner child is now asking for empathy, kindness, and compassion. Give yourself grace and acknowledgment for all the times your emotions were ignored. Deep down, your true self is open, giving, and loving—this is the part of you that wants to be expressed, even if you were never shown that it was allowed to emerge. Now, you have the power to shift your perspective to create a space for emotional fulfillment, and to allow yourself that freedom. But remember you don’t owe anyone anything. If your mother used guilt, pain, or emotional immaturity against you then you have every right to choose what feels best for your relationship with her. However, you do owe yourself the chance to give yourself the kind of care you were never shown.

Now these definitions may also resonate with you if your Sun harshly aspects Saturn, and if that is the case your Father would be the one who struggles with the above statements. If your Sun isn't in a water sign the chances of his behavior still being influential towards you is still likely, especially if the orb is extremely tight. There are of course differences with how it may manifest but overall there will be similar themes

The themes of how your Moon may manifest is also dependent on the house, so if your Moon (especially that aspects Neptune) is in the 7th house, then you may have tendencies to give a lot of time, energy or care with relationships/partnerships. You may feel like you are at your best when you have someone next to you, or you may feel like your identity may rests on "others." You may have a lack of boundaries when it comes to relationships and the part of you that wants to give and give and give is very present and influential with how you operate in relationships. Theres always a part of yourself that is readily available for another, it's more natural for you to give or allow unfair behaviors to occur within your life, especially if you are unaware of your inner emotional wounds.

The way your Sun manifests also depends on the house placement. A Sun on the angles—such as the 1st, 4th, 7th, or 10th house—has a more direct influence on the native. Sun in the 1st house may suggest a father who exhibits selfish behaviors, while Sun in the 10th house suggests a father who prioritizes his work, status, or reputation over the child. He may focus solely on his own needs in relation to work or be physically absent due to other obligations and responsibilities.

Your Sun represents your ego—how you perceive yourself in terms of accomplishments, how you express and present your ideas, and your thoughts. It reflects your confidence and the part of you that directly aligns with what you feel capable of achieving. It's the foundation of how you view yourself, it can dictate whether you struggle with imposter syndrome or feel comfortable stating your mind and desires.

(I won't go too in-depth with how this may manifest since it can be very complexed but if you are interested in learning more when it comes to the Sun let me know in the comments below)

Overall this is all in theory! I wanted to note the possibilities of how natal aspects to the Moon can manifest and if it doesn't resonate or if you don't struggle with the above statements that's okay. This post is more so for those who have emotionally struggled throughout their life, and for those who need to do some reflection and inner healing. As always the entire natal chart will always be a better dictator in how each placement can manifest! 💋

P.S This post is directly about the water moon influence, if you are curious about how these aspects/natal placements would manifest for individuals without having water placements let me know. 💌

[enkas-illusion]

Better Than Your 2D Men

Fandom / Pairing: Attack On Titan / Eren x f!reader

Rating: SFW / Fluff

Genre/Theme: Established relationship; non-titan au

Content warning: fluff, teasing, language, suggestive (?), they make out a little.

Summary: When you crush over your fav anime men, Eren gets jealous cause homeboy wants all the attention to himself.

Author's Note: Hello, here’s a short fluffy one-shot with my fav 2D man cause I wanted to have an ambitious crossover of my fav animes. Thank you for reading <3

~ Eren’s Birdie

Song Dedication: 3D (Alternate Ver.) by Jung Kook

“Baby… pay attention to me…”

You ignore your boyfriend's pouty voice as he lies across the bed, near your feet – instead, you focus on the laptop screen on your lap.

“How much longerrrr?” You hear him sigh and feel fingers caressing the bottom of your feet.

“You know I'm not ticklish,” you reply plainly, eyes still glued to the screen.

“Hmm, that's why…” you hear him mumble before you feel a set of teeth bite around your right foot toes.

“Eren, ew… what the fuck,” you cringe, pulling your foot away from him as you slide the laptop to your side, abruptly halting the anime you were watching to finally look at him.

Your boyfriend smiles ingeniously, proud of his accomplishment at finally getting your attention redirected towards him.

“So that’s what it takes for you to finally pay attention to what really matters,” he ponders as he crawls up to lie between your legs, tilting his head to rest his face on your right thigh.

“I was focusing on what really matters,” you roll your eyes as you grab your laptop once again to rest it on your other thigh. However, Eren’s quick to move further up till his torso is splayed over you, almost like a lizard trying to cover as much surface area of a wall it possibly can.

“Rennie, please let me finish these episodes, I haven’t had the time to watch them for like… weeks now,” you sigh as you try to move his heavy body to the side.

He doesn't budge but simply wraps his arms around your waist, tucking his hands into the gap between your body and the mattress, resting his cheek on your belly, “Okay, you can continue watching.” 

You sigh in defeat as you tilt your laptop screen, pressing play and focusing your attention back on the show despite the awkward position you’re in. 

It isn’t another 10 minutes into the episode before you hear your boyfriend speak again, “Sometimes I wonder if the only reason you watch this show is cause the men are attractive. There’s no way a slice-of-life person like you enjoys such violence and death.”

You don’t reply, trying your best to ignore his commentary and focusing on the fight scene.

“Oh my god, I’m right! Who is it? Do you like Gojo? Or Nanami? Or who– what are the names of other hot men in this one?” Eren chuckles in disbelief, looking up to scan your face to see if you give away anything.

“Shh, let me concentrate… it’s an important fight,” you mumble without looking at him and the scene is almost over.

“Yeah right,” he scoffs as he pauses the episode right when Choso enters the frame, “tell me, do you find this guy hot?”

“Eren, are you seriously jealous of a 2D character?” you counter, trying not to laugh at his actions.

“Well, if he’s stealing my precious time with my girl then ye–”

“We’ve literally been in bed the whole day,” you interrupt him.

“And is it so wrong to want to be closer to my girlfriend?” he gasps.

“Yes, you were lying around, scrolling on your phone… doing random shit the whole day but the minute I decided to watch JJK, you suddenly want my attention,” you roll your eyes at him.

“Don’t change the topic– who’s your fav among them?” he dodges your accusations.

A smile creeps up on your lips as you decide to indulge him, “Well, they’re all so hot, it’s hard to choose really. There’s this guy, Choso… and Geto, and Toji! Now that I think about it, all of them are equally attractive.”

“All brunettes,” he notes.

“What?” you ask, confused.

“All the men you just named have dark hair,” he states.

“Yes… so?” 

“I’m basically like the real-life version of them – I have long, dark hair, a good physique, handsome face–”

“Okay, Narcissus, chill,” you snort. Eren pulls away from you to move further up till he’s hovering over you, caging your head between his arms.

“No, my point being… if you have all of this right here,” he points at himself as he smirks, “why waste your time on some stupid anime?”

“I can have both,” you grin, pressing your palms over his chest.

“One is clearly better than the other,” he dips his head down for a peck.

“I seriously can’t believe you’re jealous of a bunch of sexy 2D men,” you giggle once again.

“No, I'm not… Can your 2D men do this?” he whispers, tilting your face and burying his face into your neck. He licks your skin before sucking on it roughly, causing goosebumps to rise all over your body.

“Can they?” he asks once again as his hand glides under your t-shirt to cup one of your breasts, playing with the nipple. Eren nibs at the spot behind your ear and you let out a soft moan. “Yes?” 

“No,” you huff, closing your eyes at the feeling.

“So, am I not better than your 2D men?” he whispers in your ear before biting your earlobe. His hand abandons your tit, instead travelling down to dip into the waistband of your shorts, pressing two fingers over your mound.

“Y-yes,” you sigh. He laughs at how desperate your voice comes out and you tilt your head to kiss him on the lips to end this awkward conversation. 

And Eren, being the good boyfriend that he is, lets you mask your embarrassment into his embrace – delighted at being the centre of your attention once again.

~fin~

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Hope Morphin Q&A

About a few months ago, I got a message from a surprising source: @hmrphin/Hope Morphin.

In case you don't know, Hope Morphin is a model and makeup artist who the character of Marc was based on. I also made a post about how their friendship with Astruc had ended thanks to the Rising Sun Flag controversy, which they had actually read one day. We talked a little, and they told me to message them on their Instagram to confirm that this is the real Hope.

They said they'd be down to answer some questions, I came up with a few, and I got their permission to post this on my account. So, without further ado, as Sid the Science Kid once said, let's go get some answers.

Question: When did you and Thomas first get to know each other, and how?

Answer: It was years ago, when the series premiered on TFOU. There were a lot of people complaining on twitter that the characters of the show were in 3D instead of in 2D, and I answered one of Thomas' tweets saying that characters' butts looked better in 3D rather than in 2D (yeah, I had a terrible sense of humor back then, glad I don't do that anymore) and he answered "yeah we could say that lol". Then, it became a running gag between us on the web, and we met for the first time at a french convention called Japan Tours, the 2015 one. So yeah, I think it was when I was... 20/21 years old, something like that.

Question: It's okay. We've all been cringe at some point in their lives. Did you two meet up again after the convention?

Answer: Yup. In fact, after the convention, he sent me a friend request on Facebook. Then, we chatted for a bit and he asked me if I wanted to be a model for him, and I met him for the second time during that model session.

Question: How did Thomas approach you about creating a character in his show based on you?

Answer: So, it was after I modeled for him. It happened after S1 has ended, so when we were chatting, he asked me which one was my favorite character. I answered Nathaniel, because at this time I felt quite close to this one (we love the angsty artist boy lmao). He told me that he didn't understand people liking Nath because he found it was a very empty character aha, but then he told me that they were searching for inspiration to create a boyfriend for him. He told me he wanted the persons to be happy that he got a boyfriend and that they would “stop bothering him with Nathaniel”, and as he wanted to take inspiration on someone looking androgynous he thought I was a good inspiration, so I accepted.

Question: Interesting story. Didn't know Nathaniel was so popular before Season 2. Did you have any input in the creation of Marc in terms of stuff like his design or personality?

Answer: Yeah he rather was, I remember a lot of people wanted to see more of him ehe. Not at all, I even though that he was joking on the moment, then one day he sent me Marc's characters sheet. I had the same haircut back in the day. Also, I was always wearing armor rings and I was wearing those kind of rings when I had this conversation with him, and he told me that Marc was going to have one of those as his miraculous. I was also still writing a lot back in the days, so I guess he still did took some stuff there and there in my personality to create him.

Question: You mean this design?

Answer: Yup! I was wearing only black sooo yeah the red and rainbow wasn't in my wardrobe aha.

Question: Do you know why they made the design rainbow themed?

Answer: Nah, he didn't told me :/ My guess is to make him more LGBT+ themed...

Question: Okay, sorry. Next question: What are your thoughts on Marc as a character? What do you think of his relationship with Nathaniel and his respective villain and hero forms, Reverser and Rooster Bold?

Answer: To be honest, when he first appeared, I really liked him. I thought he had a lot of potential as a character, his villain form was really cool and I really liked the ideas behind him, and I liked the relationship that he got with Nathaniel, from enemies to associates ehe. But after that... meh. There wasn't nothing much on the LGBT+ relationship with Nathaniel (we had to wait until the end of season 5 to see them hold hands... wow), and I didn't really find myself anymore in his character. I liked the design of his hero form and I liked the concept of his power, but like the other heroes that appeared during this episode, we didn't see Rooster Bold that much and I think that doesn't really make him feel appealing. I have the feeling that Marc and many other side characters could be way more develop in very cool subthemes but this is never really done in the series. Instead, now, they are just the characters getting out a whiteboard and giving terrible ideas to Marinette for her to date Adrien =="

Question: Just for fun, do you have any personal headcanons for Marc?

Answer: Well of course ehe, I have ton of those :D

Mmmh... For example, I think he is a dog person, that he's also fond of fashion such as Marinette but that he just don't have the patience to learn how to draw and how to design clothes... Also have the headcanon that him and Nath often meet at one of their places to do some little workshops together to work on their series and on tons of other projects :D

Got also tons of headcanon for future!Marc, such as him being a model for lgbt+ brands and Nath designing his clothes, I would love to see this shy patootie being at the front of the spotlight ehe, full of confidence and all :D There's tons of ideas to have with this character, I remember when I saw lots of artists drawing him with alternate clothes back in the day, such as shishitsunari or hazy (will try to find them back but it's been a while lol). I wish those clothing styles would be canon, with Marc rocking those kind of genderless clothes.

Links to fanart of Marc with different outfits: (https://www.deviantart.com/hazydayclouds/art/72918-756895643) and (https://ladyofacat.tumblr.com/post/176231424098/rises-from-the-underworld-marc-is-perfect-i-want)

Question: This one's a little tough, so if you don't want to answer, that's perfectly fine. What exactly went down before Thomas blocked you? Did you have any conversation online or in real life regarding the use of the Rising Sun Flag in "Ephemeral", or did Thomas just block you with no warning?

Answer: Honestly ? Blocked me without any warning. We were talking less and less, and, since I have affective dependancy, I had the feeling that I said / done something wrong. He was often answering only when I was defending him on social medias during these times. But we didn't have any harsh conversation from what I recall. So, I did the tweet about ephemeral, pointing out the use of the rising sun flag, and, well, maybe he had a plugin on twitter that blocked everyone using the term "flag", and maybe it blocked me automatically. The thing is : he has my number, he has my address (well, my old address now, lol). He had many ways to tell me this was a misunderstanding and that he didn't want to block me. He didn't call me, didn't send me any text after that to talk about it, so he clearly didn't want to make anything to sort out the problem. To this day, he still hasn't send me any message to talk about it. He commented on some of my facebook posts I did last year (I posted some makeups I did for my school) just saying it was cool, so... Yeah, not the type of friend I want to keep. I still have him as a friend on FB if I ever get the guts to try to send him a message to tell him everything that was wrong towards me and towards other people, but I clearly have other things to deal with lately.

Question: So he blocked you and didn't say anything else?

Answer: Yup, exactly, blocked me and didn't say anything else :/ After years of supporting him lmao.

Question: I'm really sorry to hear that. And you still haven't heard from him after all this time?

Answer: Well, apart from some comments he made on my facebook posts (I posted my makeup from my makeup school and he commented "very nice!") nothing at all. But honestly I'm not too bothered by that. I heard new stuff that he did prior and I really don't think it's a good idea that I interact with him again. I keep him in my facebook friends because maybe one day I'll send him a message to try to confront him, telling him that he had a very terrible behavior towards me and other people... But not today, I have other stuff to deal with.

Question: Despite everything that's happened between you and Thomas, do you still keep up with Miraculous Ladybug? If so, what do you think of it?

Answer:

Well, I've kept up with it because I still have lots of friends who are watching it (for example Octolady, Kogenta and Candy...), and they help me keep a little hype.

So I watched the episodes... There are some stuff that I like. There's good LGBT+ representation, and I like seeing an international known cartoon doing that (especially a french one since we have lots of far-right rising lately).

But honestly, I don't have the same hype as before. At the beginning, I was hyped because S1 looked awesome and had lots of cool fights, lots of wholesome characters and all, but the animation problems and differences are really making me bothered. Also, I have the feeling there's a lot of characters who could be more elaborated and who aren't, and... That's kinda sad, because there's a lot of topics that could be explored thanks to them and not just brushed off in one episode.

Plus, to be honest, I didn't really like the ending of S5. And I don't like the idea of it going on for seasons and seasons and seasons, milked until there's nothing more for it. The fewer the better in my mind...

I also seen the movie and didn't really liked it. Too much fanservice and didn't really made sense. The animation was nice, though.

Honestly, I love the writing team, they are wholesome people and they are doing their best for this show, but people like Thomas and Zag are the kind of people I don't want to support anymore. So yeah... To sum it up : still watching it from afar to see if nice stuff is happening, been pleased with some little stuff, displeased with a lot more, but I don't think I'll keep watching it both because I'm not that hyped up anymore and because I don't want to support anymore these 2 people. I supported Thomas too much before, was too attached to him and was a terrible person towards fans who didn't deserved it because I was too blind, so yeah, won't happen anymore.

Still, I'm glad there's still some people who are fans of Marc and who felt helped thanks to this character. I really hope he will have a better representation in the future (clear relationship with Nath, maybe even some trans / non-binary representation ?) in order to inspire young people.

----------------------------------------------------------

I'd like to personally thank Hope for being willing to answer my questions, and I highly reccommend giving their Instagram a follow.

[lvrtwn]

venus if she was awesome

speedpaint and more thoughts under the cut

venus has always been one of my favorite characters, though i feel her design is pretty underwhelming with a lot of wasted potential. this is kind of a redesign, kind of my own personal headcannon, and kind of how i imagined venus in my head as a kid.

this is supposed to be my version of g1 venus, more similar in facial features and keeping the straight hair. i absolutely love her new hair and face in g3 but im hesitant to call the new outfit an improvement. both g1s outfit and g3s outfit are bad in their own ways. i dont want it to seem like im shitting on the new design. again i think the face sculpts, hair, and body types of g3 are so awesome. its great to see more diversity being included in the designs. i just decided to go with g1 venuses look because thats the venus i grew up with

i definitely took some inspiration from g3s outfit for this design. i like the idea of it but the execution is just not great, not to say her original outfit is any better. i feel like out of all of tge original monsters she was the one with the most waisted potential. i love her personality and the abilities she has but the way she was styled has always bothered me.

in the movies shes described as “eco-punk” which is SUCH a cool style to go with a plant monster character. i just feel like the “punk” in “eco-punk” was never really represented in her outfits. i personally love punk music and clothing; ive been an active member in my local diy scene for many years and i love seeing all the outfits people put together.

i thought i would give her an outfit that shows off a couple of my personal favorite staples of punk style. big chunky leather boots with lots of straps and buckles. kept the shoe mouths from the original because they cool as hell. lots of leather, studs, spikes. i gave her denim cutoff shorts inspired by her gen 3 outfit, same with the torn black top. punk style has a big focus on comfort, practicality, and making things yourself. i imagine she cut a pair of old pants into shorts, roughly cut her “undead kennedys”band shirt tank into a crop top, and probably repurposed the remaining fabric. i also totally didnt draw this whole thing as an excuse to use that pun. i included asymmetrical leg accessories, with one fishnet stocking and one torn up sock. i also feel like she repurposed these, continuing to wear her old torn up socks instead of just throwing them out. i gave her a big chunky studded belt matching one of her cuffs with a recycling symbol belt buckle. i feel like it communicates an important aspect of her personality just at a glance, plus i just love big belt buckles. lastly i added piercings because 1. theyre cool and 2. i for some reason remembered her having an eyebrow piercing but i guess she never had one.

i mostly kept her body and hair the same. changed her ears and hair color slightly but thats just personal preference. i decided to make the vines on her body look more like tattoos instead of being 3d. i imagine she can make them grow into real vines, but when shes not using her powers theyre just flat against her skin. gave her a facial expression that made her look a little more unhinged. she might only do things for the good of the earth but she can still mind control people at will.

i wish i leaned a little bit more into the plant theming but im overall still super happy with how this came out. maybe ill made more monster high redesigns in the future

[buf309]

Pose Reference Resources

I promised Dia (aka aerequets) that I will make a collection of pose references in the reply of one of her art posts, and then I completely forgot about it. Until now. I'm sorry for my bad memory.

So, yeah, better late than never I guess?

The pose collection I use the most is no longer free. They used to let you download a whole album (more than 8GB worth of data) to use offline, but now you have to pay $40/package or $200 for full sets. I still have the zip file for a very old version of theirs, but I can't legally share it. So, let's skip to the other options.

1/ First, you heard of those 3D dolls program that let you model your own reference pose? This one is an online one and for free, the whole ordeal. Of course since it's online and free, you can't save your model for next time, and it costs quite a lot of time to set the model up. So, you should take as much screenshots in as many tricky angles as you need once you done with the setting. Best using for complicated scenes where those below don't have what you need already available.

2/ This one is free and in 3D, you can rotate the model to any angle that you need. The only set back is the numbers of poses are quite limited. This one is best for using as a basic blocks then build up what you want to draw, or just as a practice to improve your understanding of human anatomy.

3/ This one is free for personal uses and the pose collection is massive. The setbacks are the language barrier (it's in Japanese, English is sometimes tag-a-long) and you have to search through their pages for what you need. The pics for each pose is static but they are in different angle in almost 360 degrees. There are many 2-person and 3-person poses too. Great for illustration inspiration.

4/ This one will only show reference photos of human head, at whatever angle you rotate the model. The web interface is easy to use. There are options like searching based on gender, ages, emotions, glasses, facial hair or not, etc. Good for practicing face drawing.

5/ This one will show reference photos for human body parts, at whatever angle you rotate the model, read the instructions for how to do it. The web interface is quite hard to use at first, just tinkering around for a bit, and you will be fine. There are options like searching based on gender and which particular parts that you need refs for. Good for that moment when you go "huh? how is this <body part> will look in this <situation>????"

6/ This one will only show reference photos of animal heads, and only the head, at whatever angle you rotate the model. The accurate skull refencence list is their best point. There are enough common species in the drop down list. Tbh, I don't use this much because I often need refs for the whole animal most of the time. But it's best for furry artists, I guess?

7/ Real model photos. They sell pose reference in themed packs, but there are enough free packs to use as drawing practice too.

8/ This is the best for general background reference. Lots of options. Not really good for very specific location results, but good for random background in drawings.

9/ Lastly, for specific objects or background references at strange angles, I often search for 3D models on this site then take screenshots of whatever I need.

That's all, folks. Hope this list can help ease some of the struggles that we will encounter on our quest of learning the art of drawing things 😂

[another-lost-mc]

What annoys me the most in this whole mess is, they shut down(or stop updating) their previous games (assuming) because of obey me, as a player from the first day OM! Release, i think other games have a way better writing, and most importantly, they have romance/romantic scene(lol).

I really don't want to feel like this, because when OM! Released, i was like wow, the UI, playstyle, all different and more polished, and more importantly they are voice! But after one after another previous games got shut down (assuming because they want to focus on OM!) it makes me angry ngl.

Sorry, I went to bed last night and it kind of feels like a weird fever dream. I wasn't 100% actually this happened until I double-checked Twitter. lol

The transition from OG to NB caught me by surprise, but I'm less surprised that the new NB app and story hasn't worked out the way Solmare hoped. I'm just grateful we had some warning, not that it does the player base any good with how sudden it is.

It feels like the community was trying to convey what it hoped to see from Obey Me in the future, and Solmare decided stopping the story and going in a new direction (whatever the fuck that means) is easier than *checks notes* writing a coherent story with more romantic elements.

I'm not sure what their plans are now. I'm not really a fan of the 3d models so more concerts wouldn't tempt me, but maybe more seasons of the anime? I like collecting merch and books when I can too, but international shipping can be a bit cost prohibitive. Some of the music is okay even if I’m not a fan of the remixes. I'm excited for the full version of Waiting Kiss but The Seven Rulers song was a bit. Well. It's giving very OP theme for a magical girl anime vibes. That or something from The Care Bears.

^ actual footage of the Obey Me rulers of hell singing The Seven Rulers

I dunno. This is just really strange. lol But it's almost freeing in a way? I can shrug off NB as an AU and go back to writing things based on the OG lore, and flesh out my world building and OCs and not have to worry about future updates retconning or adding things that completely mess it all up.

[valleeslunaires]

𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗴𝗼 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺𝘀

an old history, i know... and i also know you must be tired of listening to let go. I know how you feel.

But the reason most of us keep repeating that, it's not only cuz it's cool or anything like that lol. There is a "logical" thing behind it that also involves the same "ignore the 3d" speech.

I've already spoken about this theme here but i'll speak again in a bit of different way, less personal and less rant way.

To have ur dream life, u dont need to do anything, just persist in the 4D! the opposite of the title, right? That's because there is a trick on that phrase.

To persist in the 4D, you need to live in it, identify yourself with the new story. You need to know that all your struggle in the 3D is PAST, it's gone, on trash and never coming back, the 3D doesn't matter.

Now you identify yourself with ur dream life/desire, the one in the 4D.

But for that... let go of ur past/life in the 3D. Why? Because it doesn't belong to you anymore, YOU don't belong to it anymore! And the more you hold yourself onto it, the later you'll have your "desire" life. Holding onto the 3D/PAST means you recognize it as your current and main reality, it means you identify yourself with it.

And that's why a lot of people say they persist and persist but cant get their desire life... they're still holding onto the past, the 3D.

❝Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere. - Albert Einstein❞

this also take us back to my post that i spoke about this theme a bit giving as an example assuming a better place to live in. How i hold on to the memories of my current house, street, building TOO hard.

and i wanted to add a thing to that... you CAN feel nostalgic, you CAN miss a place, you CAN check the old photos and feel sad. YOU CAN FEEL! FEELINGS DON'T MANNIFEST!

but the whole thing starts the moment when you feel but when that feeling is gone YOUR state matters, it stays. What is the state you are after that feeling has gone? Do you identify yourself with the state of missing? the state of still being in that small old house? the state of when you didn't have your dream body?

FELLINGS DONT MANIFEST BUT STATES DO! (leaving a post explaining about states here)

so if you still IDENTIFY yourself with the 3D, the old history, the past... YOU'RE NOT IN THE STATE OF AN ACCOMPLISHED DESIRE! You're not living in the 4D, you're not identifying yourself with the new history! All the time you're wasting affirming, visualizing means nothing if you're still in the state of wishing, the state of missing!

manifestation is easy... you just need to live in the 4D, in the imaginations, in your dreams! Isn't that funny? Think you can have, do ANYTHING? Because you CAN! ANYTHING. YOU CAN.

summary ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

let go of the 3D/past, the old history!

live in the 4D, the imagination, the new and only reality!

and mostly important... really identify yourself with the 4D!!

(ps: i dunno if i explained my point rlly well cuz all this just came spontaneously and i wrote freely all my thoughts, so sorry if it got confused at some point!)

[saintofdaggers]

movie recs for Saw fans

Saw is a really unique franchise, for better or for worse, so finding movies with a similar aesthetic, theme or storytelling style is hard unless you're willing to dig into the really cheap ripoffs. well, I've been collecting movies that kind of helped the Saw craving, and here's my totally subjective rec list you can use as a reference point if you want to

The Collector and The Collection by Marcus Dunstan: these were written and directed by the guys who wrote Saw IV and beyond, so you're in good (?) hands here. the visuals and traps are distinctly Saw, and the second movie is giving Saw 3D if that movie drank a bunch of Red Bulls. make of that sentence what you will

Hard by John Huckert: an obscure thriller where a closeted detective has a cat and mouse pursuit with a serial killer targeting young gay men. very grimy, unflinchingly bleak and nihilistic. WARNING: this movie goes to some extremely unpleasant and upsetting places, so watch at your own risk

Pig by Rozz Williams: an art house short film where a guy in a pig mask tortures a young man in a desert. and that's it. this is pretty dreamlike and surreal and doesn't have much narrative substance, but I find it interesting to contemplate and it made me flinch more than a few times

Mindhunters: a bunch of FBI profilers in training get trapped on an empty island with a serial killer. this movie is completely ridiculous, but it gets pretty fun once the hilariously elaborate cartoon deaths start happening

X-Cross: Japanese action horror that's basically Fatal Frame doing Saw. weird editing, nonlinear storytelling, cool women, very ugly color grading. also a leg-cutting murder cult. hell yeah

Se7en by David Fincher: investigation, obsession, a dark urban environment, a serial killer with a weird method. it's considered a classic for a reason

the Broken short film by Nine Inch Nails: this is a music video that feels like a snuff film. it's disgusting, brutal, made me feel gross, and I gave it 5 stars on Letterboxd

Cure by Kiyoshi Kurosawa: think Se7en, but even colder and more mysterious.

Haze by Shinya Tsukamoto: this is one of the most claustrophobic things ever put to film. has some completely unbearable sound effects, but it's Shinya Tsukamoto, so that's kind of a given

Like Minds: an unhinged weird thriller about a psychologist trying to untangle the mystery of a high school boy's murder. very homoerotic, very weirdly structured and not exactly well-written, but the unreliable narrator gives a lot of food for thought

The Vanishing (Spoorloos): a man gets obsessed with finding his girlfriend, who disappeared mysteriously on a trip. this is one of the most chilling movies I've ever seen, with a genuinely terrifying character and an ending that took me days to get over

Cube: a bunch of strangers get mysteriously stuck in a labyrinthine structure full of lethal traps. it really gives Saw II but with a nice little sci-fi twist

Hostel and Hostel Part II: as an Eastern European, I fucking loathe Hostel and think it's very ignorant and xenophobic. however, the comparisons to Saw are pretty much inevitable, so watch it if you want and form your own conclusions (I haven't seen the second one, but I've heard it's quite good if you're into this vibe)

feel free to add your own recs to this post!

[adobe-outdesign]

Couod you review the shinies of the ghastly line please?

Gastly: This line has a major problem with barely-noticeable shinies, but Gastly isn't too bad in that respect, swapping the black body for a deep purple and the purple gas for blue. I don't think it's necessarily the most distinct shiny out there, but seeing as the bar's on the floor with this line, I will say it could be worse.

One thing I do wish they had done is saturate the blue more—it used to be like that in its sprites but got messed up in the 3D transition (a reoccurring theme for this line). It would make the difference a lot more noticeable, and the lighter blue has better contrast with the purple anyway. I also wouldn't have minded the body being blue as well, as it's supposed to just be condensed gas and should kind of match the gas color, but I digress.

Haunter: The blue tongue is a fun concept in theory, but just doing that and barely altering the body color ain't it.

The blue color change was a little more noticeable in the sprites where its hands were glowing as well, but even then I'd hesitate to say that was enough. If they had changed the body to something more noticeable (I would do either blue to match Gastly, or white to match Mega Gengar) and done the blue tongue, that would've been great. As-is, this is incredibly boring.

Gengar: Speaking of incredibly boring, Gengar's shiny is awful and everyone knows it, falling into the "wait this is shiny?" category of blandness.

Once again it's a victim of the 3D conversion; originally Gengar's default sprite was more violet, and the shiny was a highly desaturated purple. It wasn't amazing or anything, but it was at least somewhat noticeable.

The issue is that the official art of Gengar looked closer to the shiny, so they changed the 3D model to match—which is fine. But instead of making the shiny the violet color of the original, they just... barely changed it. Even if they didn't want to use the violet color, they could've just made it blue to match Gastly or done, you know, literally anything else with it.

Mega Gengar: Hey, we finally have a good one! Normally I like consistency in my shiny lines, but considering how awful Gengar's shiny was I'm pretty sure GameFreak was just trying to fix it here. And fix it they did; the white is a fantastic choice conceptually because it's a traditional ghost color, and it has high contrast with the original purple and works well with the pink accents. My only nitpick is that I would've liked the eyes to be yellow or blue or something, as the pupil gets lost a bit with the dark gray, but that's a minor thing in an otherwise great shiny.

Gigantamax Gengar: WHY. Why did they fix Gengar's shiny with the mega and then immediately make it worse again? Granted, it is much lighter than regular shiny Gengar at least, and they did make the eyes black with red pupils, which is a cool choice that really makes the design look that much more ominous... but it's still not nearly as good as the mega.

Overall: Shiny Gengar and Haunter are terrible and barely noticeable. G. Gengar is slightly more noticeable but still very underwhelming. Shiny Gastly is okay, and Shiny M. Gengar is fantastic. As a whole, the entire line being either blue or white would've been a major improvement.