#i wanted a break bc i was sad
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I keep forgetting that I need to stop announcing breaks and hiatuses on here because time means nothing to my time blind self, and a few days away can feel like a week. I was going to try to stay away for a week out of principle, but then I decided, why bother. I want to go back to posting my regular bullshit.
#personal#i wanted a break bc i was sad#and then i got over that and found something else to be sad about#except this time i can deal by posting about my blorbos#anyway none of this matters#i have to remember that
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REST IN PEACE, DEAR MOONBIN (1998-2023)
#moonbin#astro#moon bin#i don't want to be here right now honestly i just wanted my last post about moonbin to be the ones where hes smiling as my last memory#it kills me to see my posts reblogged with sad messages now#and i still can't believe this news either#i've been mia anyway but now im even less inclined to go on tumblr rn#im so sorry for everyone including family/friends of bin#and himself but i cant think about that bc it will break me apart#rest in peace bin i'll miss you more than anything
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rewatched madoka magica again today bc i fucking hate myself and to absolutely no one’s surprise i went through all five stages of grief in a single evening
#let’s talk about sayaka miki for a second#genuinely the fact that her whole character is centered around tragedy almost to a shakespearean extent#she’s selfless and brave and values her justice and righteousness above all. calls herself an ally of justice#in fact i think it’s rather intriguing how her whole character is centered around “justice”#her story being a more twisted retelling of the original little mermaid#how she is initially portrayed as a very heroic and confident character even before becoming a magical girl. always shielding madoka#selling her soul to heal the boy she loved out of a selfless desire to see him well again#her being absolutely distraught abt being robbed of her humanity and betrayed by kyubey#she combats this harrowing realization by immersing herself in her duties not caring that she is slowly deteriorating in the process#becoming numb with pain and fighting recklessly and psychotically trying to drown out the pain#finally coming to the sickening conclusion that humanity doesn’t deserve her saving and she succumbs to a fate of her making#last words being “i was so stupid” which trumps her previous statement of “there’s no way i’d regret this”#ALSO? the fact that her costume and weapon are symbolic of a knight. she rly portrays this hero of justice who will protect and defend ☹️#i think abt the fact that homura said that sayaka’s wish was so selfless it was only a matter of time before she died#sayaka being the example of what happens to magical girls who go through the entire cycle and eventually become witches is so sad to me#genuinely just like. sick and twisted#very very fucked up.#characters who have their own misconstrued interpretation of “justice” or who are centered around justice in general.#you will always be dear to me.#sayaka reminds me a lot of akechi in some ways ngl#harboring an almost idealized vision of justice but it slowly rots and festers and corrupts their hearts the more immersed w it they become#actually losing their sanity when they fight bc of how much pain they’re in but refuse to acknowledge it until they break#refusing any help and wallowing in misery despite having ppl who love them and want to save them#last words are those expressing regret for being such a fool. for being ignoring#being used by yhe main villain as a stepping stone towards their true goal. they were merely a pawn#also doomed in every version of their reality. always doomed by the narrative no matter what choices they make#i have a type i fear#HAHAHAH ALSO the fact that they’re both dressed so regally compared to everyone else in their respective series#meant to portray them in a virtuous and princely light. only made more apparent by the sword being their weapon of choice#i’m gonna shut up now but they’re soo eerily similar its unnerving tbh 💀
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“i’d rather lose both arms than you” wait… do you have that panel…
Batman #13
#this issue is actually sad and reminds me of robin year one#bc bruce fires dick and pretends like he doesn't need him (he does this bc he heard some goons were gonna kill robin--he wants dick safe)#and he's basically like ''welp maybe we'll run into each other again one day dick'' and he also breaks dick's robin picture#so anyway dick's like fuck bruce i don't want his money or his home or anything#so he goes to live on the street and he sells his communicator for money so he can eat#and he's looking for a job so he can support himself#and he also thinks batman has a new partner (he doesn't--bruce is just carrying a robin dummy around)#as if dick didn't already have enough abandonment issues amiright?#so anyway bruce's intentions were good but he went about it in such a horrible way that he abandoned dick entirely#Bruce Wayne#Dick Grayson#anon
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it’s nowhere near the worst interpretation and i do understand how it could be assumed or even be compelling if you’re very interested in the lords in black but one of my biggest pet peeves is the interpretation that the lords in black are manipulating grace and deliberately driving her to where she ends up the entire play. such a big part of what makes grace work is her role as the driving force in the play, an active agent who’s actions directly lead to all the calamity and tragedy that occurs later through sheer religious guilt, desperation and neuroticism. taking even some of that autonomy away from her makes her significantly less compelling.
#she is so funny and tragic and i love her so much but i also hate her#she’s all ive been able to think about for the last week#grace chasity#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#starkid#in a similar vein i really dislike the concept that grace would have done what she does at the end at any point in the play bc she’s Evil#undeniably she is unstable and violent at times but like if you read the lyrics#‘if i break the rules i will finally know my worth’ and ‘darkness will spare my soul’ make it clear this is coming as a result of trauma#she feels trapped by her religion and is so desperate to break out of it but she also thinks that makes her evil and dirty#she hates herself and part of her hates god and she has to externalise that hate to shield herself. To redeem herself#after losing her virginity. It all makes me so sad. oh grace :(#also interesting is that some of it does come from a built up resentment from social isolation and bullying as a “nerdy prude”#and while Yeah a lot of that isolation is her own fault there is no way to express how insane having no friends in high school makes u#she wants to be normal and have friends and sex and swear and let go for once in her life. But she won’t let herself have it
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when we do get to thamepo being boyfriends and having movie nights, putting face mask on each other? being HAPPY?
like the sad thing is important but i don't know how much i can take it guys making me cry every single ep?!
#likw i just want them to be together and happy they deserve it#but also thinking that they probably gonna be sad again after being happy bc they will need to break up omg 😭😭😭😭😭#i just everyone to be happy 😭😭😭😭😭#thamepo#thamepo heart that skips a beat#thamepo series#thamepo the series#thame po#thame po heart that skips a beat#thame po the series#thame po series#thame x po#heart that skips a beat#dksk-bl#witchbz : watchz thamepo
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i get so frustrated bc like… the point of Smile 2 (bc i do understand this criticism of the first one) it’s not to just say like…. ‘oh and everyone who’s mentally ill is bad and evil and gross and hurts themselves and ppl around them and its hopeless the end’ like NOO you missed the point.
When you’re depressed or hallucinating or going through something insanely stressful, it can make you lash out, or make you impulsive and sad and scared, or push away the ppl who surround you. And it can make you feel like the world is laughing at you.
And it’s not Skye’s fault, it’s not happening to her because she’s a terrible person! And the movie isn’t trying to say that it is happening to her because she is a terrible person. But the ‘monster’ that lives in her head tries to tell her that, and tries to get her to believe it.
And the sad thing is that to a point, she does everything right! She reaches out, and she asks for help, and she tries to talk to someone about what’s happening. But there’s no one in her corner, and no support system she can rely on, and no one responds until it’s too late. And it’s sad. And it’s scary. And it’s a tragedy.
And that’s the point, I think. Does that make sense?
#idk this was what i thought#like the first movie did make me feel like ‘ok what was the point’ and left me disappointed#but i thought the sequel had a better take#and maybe i’m just stating the obvious but i’ve seen so many ppl complaining abt this and i’m just thinking#did we watch the same movie?#it’s not trying to demonize the mentally ill (despite the monster being. you know. a demon)#it’s just a sad story about what can happen to us when no one around us BELIEVES us#when we tell them we need help#and also what happens when maybe we push ourselves too far (a la skye refusing to take a break when she needs one)#but even that isn’t really on her bc when she finally BEGS for a break they refuse her one#and then it kills her.#smile 2#smile 2 spoilers#if i’m totally missing the mark tho lmk i genuinely do want to talk abt it
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https://www.tumblr.com/necrotic-nephilim/763098417058775040/no-thoughts-only-jaytim-fucking-in-titans-tower?source=share
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https://www.tumblr.com/necrotic-nephilim/760168597014413312/bftc-jaytim-fuck-nasty-in-their-batman-suits?source=share
every time these 2 are left alone to fit it ends like this❤️
it ABSOLUTELY does. i love that i have gotten to write a BftC fic and a Titans Tower fic that is just. JayTim fucking nasty. i think these two should end every fistfight with them having sex in increasingly risky places. it's the only way they should resolve their fights from now on, ty for coming to my tedtalk.
#necrotic answerings#kindly praise#jaytim#i think the next moment of their fighting to turn to fucking should be that scene from the search for a hero arc#where they're on the roof and jason is like work with me :D and tim says no and he gets geuinely sad.#bc that'd be fun.#also if i ever wrote new-52 stuff the time jason and tim were trapped together during death of the family#could also be good fodder for them fucking#OOOH wait#the court making tim and jason fuck in front of all the captured we are robin kids during robin war#like yk the scene where jason and tim are forced to fight but they're using it as a distraction to break free#that. but make it fuck or die#wait. now i really want to write that hang on.#add that to the pile of wips holy shit.#everyone go read robin war rn so i can write the fic and it can be appreciated /lh#im having big brain thoughts. it's all coming together.
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I made a similar post before a long ass time ago for the other three da protags but now it's time for rook, this time in poll format <3
as always feel free to ramble about your ocs in the tags!! 👀
#💾#dragon age#mostly threw this together bc i think it's a fun dragon age character development question#and i wanted to bring some oc community engagement to the dash today#community? comradery? positivity? idk#← rare moment of me not minding if one of my posts breaks containment#ive had this sitting in my drafts forever and kept forgetting about it so whatever. go my scarab#also i want to make a spirit version but i cant have 2 polls in the same post. L#anyway. for lleyth it's actually hard for me to figure out for once bc like i could see pride for obvious reasons including solas#but at the same time i think lleyth is... actually quite humble and does not believe themself to be any better or more qualified than anyon#like they dont want the position they're in at all and they doubt their own leadership skills constantly#and they do what they must bc they have to. not bc 'they're the only one who can (do it right)' like solas wants to believe ab himself#and i think people who make good targets for pride are people who would do anything for power. lleyth does not want that#which leads me to think they would probably be targeted by despair.#i think they are someone who is used to being forced to lock away their sadness and either turn it into useful rage or compartmentalize it#but there is just. a deep and profound sense of not belonging anywhere and doubting their place in the world/others' lives#and if they weren't the type of person whose instincts kick in like a failsafe and make them keep fighting no matter what#i feel like they really would be stopped in their tracks by an overwhelming feeling of futility and misery#and there are a Lot of miserable moments in lleyth's life a demon could use to manipulate that within them 😔#plus despair seems to be the polar opposite of determination. which considering spite really likes/is drawn to lleyth... yeah. yeah#and the fact that despair demons constantly single out rook in combat is like. haha whats going on there bud........#and i personally think the inverse of this question (what spirit would be drawn to them) answer would be determination#bc damn kid you don't know how to quit. you will punch up at the cost of even your own fists and it's admirable#constantly swinging at something bigger than you that you cant take down etc etc#*take me to war by the crane wives starts playing as i lean out over the balcony smoking a cigarette*#take me to war honey i dare you. i'll be the sweetest thing to ever scare you <3 etc etc#plus its also tasty to me to think about lucanis having to break them out of the Despair Mind Prison#by chipping away at all of the awful things they believe about themself. as payback#🫵 get loved and adored idiot
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is anyone still in the mood for a hypmic imagines blog these days lol
#mod rambles#giant ramble incoming ->#the tag seems so..#dead. which makes me sad :(#it’s looking pretty grim for us yumes out there ngl#do the people still yearn for self indulgent romance with their oshis. lol#i am still very much a yume freak. perhaps more so lately. but i never do talk about my own yume ships loll#plus the yume community does not seem.. very pleasant. to say the least#i do kinda want to come back and write here#but not on this account. i’d make a new one#i kinda want to start all over tbh. like a fresh slate#plus it'd kinda force me to try and get back into the groove of writing bc i feel like i've forgotten each and every rule lol#also it's important to have a creative outlet!! even if i most likely do not have the time for one lmao#i do want to provide for the h.ypmic yume community on here though. plus i love to write#even though i'm not caught up on the drama tracks..#idk if i'm emotionally ready for them#yes i did see this is the final drb. i got the news while studying for my final the very next day so suffice to say i was not doing well lo#idk if I’d share the new blog though. but i feel like it’d be p obvious if were me? lol#but i also wouldn’t have the time to write or post so idk.#i have time rn bc I’m on break but#when school starts back up again I’m gonna be packed. esp since I’ll be starting neuro so that’s gonna take all my brain activity (ha)#also will be starting research back up again so that’s a pain#plus. truth be told this year hasn’t been particularly kind to me#i haven’t really been in the mood to write or share it bc of what’s been going on back home#my people are always on my mind all the time#esp my village#🇱🇧❤️#been doing a lot of rambling lately but not a lot of writing. hm#all this to say: i might be coming back but prob with a new blog. lol#i write a lot just to get to the bare basic point (hence the 30 tags)
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#me when everybody is posting the maple leafs sad narratives and i am furiously generating this like HOLD ONNNN HOLD ONNNNNNN#honestly i could've been SOOOO MEAN about this because i saw this poem & alexandra got the preview on the poetry blog#where i just reblogged the first half of this poem point blank with the tags#kyle dubas#toronto maple leafs#& got yelled at aksdaksf & it literally only didn't go on this blog bc i usually write more & then it was percolating & i looked up the poe#& it was only the FIRST PART i'd reblogged i didn't know there was more & then brain immediately went brrrrr ok time for an edit.#this is a long one lol & i also have no idea if it makes sense to anybody but me but because y'all know me i will always overexplain so!!#my reasoning for the reasons obvi kyle. that's a given i hope he's doing well i hope he & his family r good but man is not coming in to wor#the second edit took me a stupid amount of time bc i am nitpicky but also i learned how to do the layers & transparency from the claude edi#that actually y'all don't know about lmao but i lost my mind when i saw how perfectly those pictures align i was scrolling getty & was like#ok december i'm gonna do a headline one (in my brain with the november/june quote about choosing to die again) w/ maple leafs playoff odds#how they say at winter break you know who's gonna be in the playoffs & who'll win & they thought they had a shot but it's mitchie overlaid#the 2003-04 team who'd last won a playoff round with the atlantic division stats from dec for 22-23 & how long it's been & dec headlines#i wanted breakup/recent/never loved to be a recent trade acquisition somebody who bounced around & somebody else so i almost had simmer#brodie & zar but then i wanted to make murray for breakup at any time &i forgot zar & him were on the pens together &it hit me like a truc#bc there's a photo of the two of them EXACTLY the same so close it's scary of this one but them as pens so they had to be it & i did always#know never loved again was mitchie. sorry. also mitchie in the penalty box the last game but i couldn't find footage of it & this one works#no i could not find a photo of tyler bertuzzi fighting a leaf for a dog looked at me yes i tried.#i almost made the bunting photo jt but instead it's 'bunting a rat etc' anyway the one i really feel unhinged about is dead pets bc at firs#i was gonna make it the handshake line & look to see if the leafs had drafted anybody on the panthers (dead pet former draft pick)#& they had & it was carter verhaeghe & i couldn't get a good pic of matthews & verhaeghe but it's fine bc i thought about the mo/luke schen#narrative (in which they are a perfect d pair long lost) & schenn was drafted by the leafs & that line fits jut trust me. also how i feel#about the kniesy luminous line that one possessed me it had to be kniesy idk why. i almost put gussy as girls are too pretty though ALSO#did u like my joke. daylight SAVINGS time on the goalie. thank u. also my photo magic on the jt (me very poorly editing in him as an isle)#OK ALSO HOLD ONNNNN there is a part two but i have to wait for the Content i want it will come out as soon as [redacted] or sooner#if i get bad at waiting &everyone will pretend like it is always the way it will be once i have the photos i want. speaking of did the leaf#simply not take a team photo this year?? it Does Not Exist for me i have tried very hard to look for it also i'm excited for part 2#one of them is named oh you're so unhinged for this one & the finished product is you're unhinged in ways you didn't even know u were sorry#liv in the replies
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when max is depressed we know something's wrong because lucas says with his words that he knows something's wrong but when mike is depressed we don't think anything of it because will's right next to him rolling his eyes about how stupid straight people are
#briony babbles#1) don't assume people's sexualities#I recently saw this from my family members#reacting like !!!!!!! to a girl they know... also like girls?#'oh wow I didn't see that coming' yeah that's because you don't think girls liking girls is normal#so it's sad to see queer people do the same thing bc you KNOW irl queer people act like will#2) I get it romance is stupid people who aren't queer at all and having all these stupid rules for engaging in it are especially stupid#but I listen to my sister talk about her boy drama because I care about her#and it's not just 'how to get them together' it's 'how to help her feel better'#I'm not 15 so maybe I'm being unfair with my wisdom that will doesn't have because he is 15 but like#if I see someone I love people pleasing and feeling like they owe someone a romantic relationship because they're too empathetic#I tell them they should consider working on their boundaries#because I want them to be with someone who makes them truly happy#and then with mike it's just ASSUMING that it's el in THAT WAY#when the only relationship advice he wants to hear is that it's okay to break up with el and still be friends#because he can't lose her again#and ONCE AGAIN he is NOT STRAIGHT#assuming things is stupid! even if he WAS straight but he wasn't happy in the relationship it would be okay to go back to being friends!#mike's problems are just as individual-specific and difficult to understand for his friends as max's are#especially because they won't just say it#but max gets lucas who tries so hard to understand without being told#and mike tries so hard to tell will without saying it outright and will keeps not hearing him#i'm sorry i wasn't there 'it's not your fault' no 'i disappeared' no no you didn't! i just didn't look hard enough. but i see you now#fanon won't tell you this but the point of byler s4 is for *will* to prove that he's good enough for *mike*#mike already did that by being the best bf in the world before they were even dating for the first 2 seasons of the show#saved will's life twice and y'all wanna act like mike doesn't deserve him. shut the fuck up
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thought too much about things i would do differently if i was rewriting DAV (whcih i do NOT have time for, i dont even have time to write the fics i Really wanna write) and how much Potential was there and the things that the game teased me that had me on the edge of my seat only to. never bring up/be relevant again but hhhrrrgrhhhgghaaaaaaahhhhhh now im too riled up for Anything. going to drive to trader joes instead to buy myself some chocococos and calm down
#i just have had like 15 diff times of thinking. imagine if it had been done THIS way#and then i think well instead of a complaining text post i could just WRITE IT to PROVE how cool itd be#and then i stop myself and go aahhhhh thats another 100k project there and i have sworn off anything over 10k except for my Main Goals#anyway. theres no tj's where i live#so its time for Treats#mostly candy bc there is not any i want in my parents house... dark choco caramels time.......#maybe those rice puffs im obsessed with bc they fulfil my secret desire to eat styrofoam packing peanuts... hmm.......#ramblings#dragon age: veilguard tag for blocking purposes#datv spoilers#da4 spoilers#dav critical /#davrin i could fix it for you. i could give you the space to Break Down the way you truly deserve. the game should let you be MAD and SAD
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finally started p5 royal ‼️‼️‼️‼️
expect some royal trio art soon they are my dearly beloveds (minus akechi i hope he dies in this reality too)
#love that ren got the sad boy kdrama fit#also no idea how akechi survived i want to shake it out of him so bad why are you gatekeeping stupid bitch#idk if this is just him w/o the pleasant boy facade but he seems so much more exhausted and cruel#like everything he says is verbal irony bc he’s patronizing everyone. he hates being a team player sm it’s insane 💀💀💀#he’s so withdrawn and short tempered and actually mentally unstable. like sadistically so#i think these are all warning signs#if he dies again i’m ending it all. you didn’t come back from the dead just to die on me again#also sumire….i love her so bad…..my sweet girl….my baby ☹️☹️☹️☹️#sumire yoshizawa they could NEVER make me hate you#she reminds me of a fawn 😭😭😭😭 with her big soft doe eyes and how she’s so curious and eager#GAAAAAHHH every time she comes up on screen i want to give her a headpat SO BAD…..SHES SUCH A FUCKING CUTIE#i feel so bad for ren bro he’s literally stuck babysitting the new kid and simultaneously keeping akechi on a leash 😭#poor boy needs a break. we should go to hawaii again that was fun#anyway yeah that's all#hopefully i’ll finish the game this week i’m sick of this. i want to move on
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actually it's kind of funny how people will say Alex's fatal flaw is that he 'doesn't ask for help' and that it's his determination to handle things on his own that leads to his deterioration and eventual death when his whole introduction to the present-day timeline was a very literal cry for help that simply went ignored
#N posts stuff#like even if you think alex was lying throughout the entirety of season 2 and he was waiting from the Moment jay showed up#JUST to kill him (Which again i don't think makes much sense when he could have killed Tim & Jay immediately instead of#breaking Tim's leg. anyway) EVEN IF alex spent that whole time lying it doesn't actually change the fact that he would have at least#been Pretending to Ask For Help and if he wasn't lying then he was Literally Asking For Help and it doesn't Actually matter#what intention Alex had because the text is Ambiguous about Alex's honesty during season two; what isn't ambiguous is the way#other characters (specifically Jay) respond to him; like yeah - S2 Brian/Tim were never in one million years going to help Alex with shit#so sort of any argument that brings up Tim as someone who asks for/offers help is borderline meaningless in this era of the series#Jay had the 'opportunity' to help Alex (and i'll get back to that in a sec) but DIDN'T - Jay wasn't Interested in actually offering Alex#'help' bc Jay is ultimately curious about Answers and 'Offering Help' and 'Getting Answers' are two Wildly conflicting goals#Jay thinks Alex has answers and when Alex doesn't Offer these 'Answers' to Jay on a silver platter Jay gets pissed off and paranoid#and starts Stalking Alex bc he thinks it's 'Suspicious' that Alex won't give him the Answers (that Alex probably doesn't Actually have)#ANYWAY. ultimately this post is about how it's absurd when people argue#that individual character choices could have made a difference in the way this series played out - specifically wrt Alex#because EVERYONE in this WHOLE series are being affected by influences outside of their control ; including Brian Tim and Jay#so it's silly when people are like 'if ALEX had just made a different choice For Himself this could have all been avoided' WRONG.#bc Ultimately there's not really a way to 'help' someone else out of this situation - Tim tried and failed Repeatedly#the comics proved he even failed with Jessica - like MH isn't a horror situation where you can kill the big bad#'getting help' is a meaningless argument - what would successfully helping or getting help even look like? anyway.#the sub argument of this post is that Alex's biggest 'sin' is that he doesn't perform emotions the way other people want him to#like Alex is a character with a kind of flat affect - instead of LOOKING scared or grieved he LOOKS bored or angry#and everyone judges him based on that - so Alex is 'Suspicious' he's 'Lying' he's 'Guilty' but all of these deductions are predicated#on the belief that Alex isn't reacting to his circumstances the way a 'Normal' person would - so it MUST all be an act and so he's guilty#so everyone treats him like he's guilty until the end of season two when he's like 'Fuck it FINE i'll be guilty then' and so it goes#not a self-fulfilled prophecy but being Cornered Into a prophecy and then Blamed for it - SAD. anyway
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Viago, 20 years old: I'm going to let this 10 year old kill >:)
Viago five minutes later, realizing he has a mess to clean up: oh no
#dragon age#oc: ena de riva#<- hes trans this is pre transition. i mean it can probably be figured but i did want to make that clear lmao#crow rambles#my fic#ignore any and all typos im still on a first draft#Viago handed 10 year old ena the knife and said 'go wild'#he did not consider the mess a 10 year old would make of a kill. sad.#theyve known each other for five whole minutes and already Viago is cleaning up Ena's messes. surely this wont be a staple of their entire#fucking dynamic. (ena really doesnt leave that many messes but when he does theyre BIG)#im going with veilguard being set in 9:49 just bc its whats in game#and ive already built half my worldstate around it so fuck it we ball#ena was one of the elves taken from denerim during the blight. he managed to stab the slaver handling him and made a break for it#before literally running into viago. who then handed him a knife and told him to 'finish the job'#great child handling skills vi
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