#so its time for Treats
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thought too much about things i would do differently if i was rewriting DAV (whcih i do NOT have time for, i dont even have time to write the fics i Really wanna write) and how much Potential was there and the things that the game teased me that had me on the edge of my seat only to. never bring up/be relevant again but hhhrrrgrhhhgghaaaaaaahhhhhh now im too riled up for Anything. going to drive to trader joes instead to buy myself some chocococos and calm down
#i just have had like 15 diff times of thinking. imagine if it had been done THIS way#and then i think well instead of a complaining text post i could just WRITE IT to PROVE how cool itd be#and then i stop myself and go aahhhhh thats another 100k project there and i have sworn off anything over 10k except for my Main Goals#anyway. theres no tj's where i live#so its time for Treats#mostly candy bc there is not any i want in my parents house... dark choco caramels time.......#maybe those rice puffs im obsessed with bc they fulfil my secret desire to eat styrofoam packing peanuts... hmm.......#ramblings#dragon age: veilguard tag for blocking purposes#datv spoilers#da4 spoilers#dav critical /#davrin i could fix it for you. i could give you the space to Break Down the way you truly deserve. the game should let you be MAD and SAD
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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mwah
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#hiiiiiii sorry long time no draws i finally finished megumi's birthday piece and it knocked me OUT#so here is a recovery itfs smooch page. as a treat#itd been so long since id drawn yuuji at this point hdgsdd#gojo piece into 2 back to back megumi pieces that took probably a collective 2.5 weeks#crazy how fast the rust sets in with this kid#i think hes ok tho !!! it's always hard when one of them is standing in front of the other and blocking the Key Piece Of Hair#the one i lean on to carry the silhouette recognizability.....sighs#such is the peril of drawing smooch#anyway its always itfs friday in my heart so pls enjoy#this is brought to you by Thumb On Mouth#sequel to Hand On Thigh
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okinawas top girlfailure <3
#and thats the only time “top” can be used in a sentence to describe goromi godbless#yakuza#rgg#majima goro#goromi#my art#majeem#godddd majima youre so pathetic#im not normal abt any of this#his alcoholism </////3#this is a redraw of an its always sunny scene btw#anyone remember roxy#yeah#v funny ep bc frank already reminds me of majima so for roxy to be goromi-coded was#a treat#to say the least#okinawa
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confirming the Ethiopian wolf pollination hypothesis seems so straightforward in theory, like just erecting anti-wolf barriers around some of the hot poker plants and seeing if those get pollinated at the same rate as the other ones, but also I feel like it could be some lab’s 6 year long project that ends up in Nature and answers more questions about wolf dessert time than I could ever think to ask. and also it would give more beautiful photos of wolves between 3 seconds and 1 hour into passionate nectar indulgence. so hopefully with the media attention they’re getting they can do that
#soooooooooo many questions man#some of the people in the tags in the last post were right in that there ARE bats who are pollinators#and those cases of animal pollination DOES indeed result in a creature with a ton of pollen all over its face because it was so into it#in the case of bats it’s certain cacti species if I remember correctly. which is why some have big funnel-shaped flowers#conveniently bat snout shaped and sized and directly in migration paths for no reason in particular#I thought about that too when I saw this tbh#wolf question 102: if these wolves are indeed major pollinators. in what ways are these flowers hidden treat dog toy optimized?#bc ideally you want them to be enjoyers for a longer length of time right? you gotta have up to 4.5 minutes of nectar engagement in there.#assuming more time at a flower stalk = more pollination I suppose
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percy, mentally ill: I feel like I deserve to die. It's a punishment because im a horrible person. Does that sound crazy?
jason, also mentally ill: No that tracks bro samesies
#just two dumb bitches telling each other /exaaaaactly/#that scene is boo is so funny because it fully treats it as if Percy can read Jason's thoughts the way the reader can#because from Jason's pov it's Percy saying that he thinks deserves to die as a punishment for doing something so terrible#and then Jason THINKS about times when he also felt helpless and wanted to give up and die#and he's literally sympathizing with Percy#but VERBALLY Jason's like: no that's not crazy that makes sense#so now think of this convo from Percy's pov#Percy: I'm a horrible person who deserves to die#Jason: Yeah that makes sense#and then Percy GOES QUIET#it literally reads like Jason affirms Percy's worst thoughts alkfjalkdjflskdjg#its sooo fucking funny in the worst way#pjo#percy jackson#jason grace#mine
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Cyn would love playing roblox i think.
#help me i cant stop thinking of domestic scenarios with these damn robots. they should go trick or treating and have a wonderful time#i love when au fic writers make cyn and uzi have a sisterly bond its so cute#cries#murder drones#fanart#md n#serial designation n#md cyn#murder drones cyn#my art
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uno reverse
#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#sorry to postin so much feel like im breaking some sorta unspoken rule but i gotta or i will forget to post it at all#mw#my art#recruits in the bathroom sobbin in confusion at soaps 180 in the mornin after drills. brutal. judgmental. no remorse.#sneerin dead eyed stare he oversees em with so unforgivin and cold to minor missteps#ghost is the nice one who seems to be glowing. bc the first time he exp'd soap on a bad day he nearly had a mental break down#thinkin he did somethin to piss him off but nope soap just borrowed the stick up ghost's ass for the day#eye black smears on fingies as a treat to myself#feel like im forgettin somethin wonder what it is hmm maybe its my lack of sleep 24hrs awake thas prolly it ye
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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some wot sketches :3
#lost all my brush settings so im just experiencing with new ones rip#my art#wot#the wheel of time#wheel of time#fanart#art#wot fanart#lan mandragoran#moiraine damodred#moiraine sedai#young moiraine#staffraine#moiraine smoking as uhhh a treat#its weed ive decided#i lost my fav shading brush and texture overlays SO i will uhh figure somethink out#bear with me#🐻#twot#realising now the last mo's proportions are a little weird IGNORE
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Thinking about his brain
#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#fanart#doodle#He spends like all of his time irrationally terrified of going back to poverty#this was inspired by a panel change I had to make to the next comic im working on teehee teehee#originally I was going to have a funny gag of him describing how awful he felt#but I decided to change it because like. He would never admit that he felt bad#feeling bad is a sign of weakness. a sign of failure. a sign that he needs to try harder#like its not just Devs problems he's ignoring. he treats his own body pretty awfully too#not to write that entire thing off as a trauma response tho hes still objectively awful for not listening to his sons wishes#and he wouldn't have done the same if his own leg got as severely injured.#Having a leg amputated is scary he would have tried to salvage it#then again that is still arguably his fucked up version of love#I have thoughts ok!!!#he is so traumatized
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hello denizens of tumblr i come with humble offerings
they wish to romance you
#HIHIHIIIIHIIII ITS BEEN A WHILE!!!!#IVE STARTED COLLEGE!!!!#AND IM SO BUSY BUT IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN#BIOLOGY IS SO FUN TOO!!!#I love love love science and biology#what was I saying??#oh yeah HELLOO!!!!#IM STILL ALIVE AND KICKING#crying about statistical inferences but still alive#im going to be busy for a long time but i promise i still care y’all#and if i left any one of you on read i am sorry#im going to respond to all of you in just a minute i prommy life has just been insane so far#insanely good and bad ways#ive learned about people i thought i knew and about subjects i never thought i would understand#okay okay okay enough treating my blog like my diary#thats what my sketchbook is for!! xD#fnaf#fnaf fanart#dca#dca fandom#the dca#the daycare attendant#fnaf sb#security breach#sun fnaf#moon fnaf#sundrop#moondrop#love ya’ll make sure to take care of yourselves#chicken doodles
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the new jjk cafe fits have been living in my head . no thoughts except yuuji in a letterman
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#havent had yuuji fight me this hard in a MINUTE omg far left took forever i redrew his face and hair like 10 times minimum#he looks good now but like rly yuuji i thought we were past this i thought we were cool :((((#i put Hand On Thigh and this is how u repay me.....#sighs#whatever this took a million years longer than it should but im finally happy with it im finally done ths all that matters#i dont know what yuuji's pants look like in the official art but i ripped them as a treat fr me :)#ik theyre probably just regular jeans but i think yuuji deserves to show a lil knee#real talk tho yuuji's fit is so so good i love it so much. megumi i am ehhhhhh but it's on brand fr him#plus i like that they dress him like he's canonically cold all the time lmao yuuji in a light sweater n megumi in a thermal and puffer coat#its what they deserve
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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Curly's little blurb on his steam trading card just keeps reminding me he is a much more miserable person than people realize.
We don't get a lot of his thoughts, inner confliction that aren't bogged down by what Jimmy says or does. Even in the The Last One and Then Another, his dialogue is reflective, not the Curly before the crash but the result of everything. Parts of the him he was are there of course, but also disfigured and warped beyond recognition just like he is physically.
Curly really doesn't think much of himself and desires. He clearly chases fleeting moments of happiness. He doesn't really have prospects for himself, assumes in a similar way to Swansea, that if it should make it happy then he is happy. Though, he hasn't reached the point Swansea did to admit it doesn't. He neither sees the glass half full or empty, it's just water, something he needs and he'll take it from any perspective.
He wasn't running from anything but he's never really been going towards something either. He's listless. I've been using the term complacent to describe how he feels about his life and the closest people (really just Jimmy) in it, but now that word feels too neutral, too nice. Happier than Curly really was. There isn't just one word for it, he's unfulfilled, uncertain, uninspired. There are no active problems he faces and that's the issue, why should he be upset?
I believe he really is a person who doesn't know who he is or wants to be. He follows a structure. I don't think he's suicidal, but he clearly doesn't think about what makes him happy. He's numb. I suppose that is a better word than complacent, used to the feeling even if he hates it. It doesn't hurt so why stop it?
#like curly is very much does his job goes home takes care of self repeat i dont think hes like an asocial person but he doesn't take the tim#time to indulge in himself the way he thinks hes a bigger picture guy so as long as nothing is disrupted hes relatively okay even if its#slowly chipping away at him and making him feel hollow like he thought space was endless that he could never reach a point of feeling finis#he never had to predict what to do after the end and suddently he realizes there was no end to it because there cant be an end to nothing#hes accomplished so much objectively but hes done nothing with his life outside of his work like he mentions no hobbies other friends or an#thing of the sort he doesn't even feel like he can vent it cause what? hes complaining about how hard it is to get promoted to have securit#in a job you hate and a position that keeps weighing you down like I feel like if he explained himself at the party and didn't let Jimmy t#talk for him hed actually have made points the others would get cause even if they envied his position he still is justified in being unhap#not everything that you think would bring you happiness does or fulfills even a small part of that desire#idk hes a lot more fucked in the head but like towards himself than people realize like how he lets Jimmy treat him is indicitive of that i#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing
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i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.
(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)
because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,
(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)
it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,
it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.
(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)
she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."
there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves
there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic
she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect
i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way
it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."
it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense
this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though
she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it
by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands
i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me
she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility
she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind
but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*
#dib noise#mouthwashing#sorryyyyyyyyy lol#i will defend you anya o7#its been fun to roll this game around in my brain. gives me something to do#long post#could be reaching though. it's unfortunate so much of her screentime is hammering home how poorly jimmy regards her#or her being scared/nervous in his presence#or trying to placate him#yes i know that's the point#are my feelings on how anya is treated by the the characters the fans and the game itself weirdly personal? yeah sorry#unfortunately i do think they didn't get the anya parts as solidly as the rest but oh well#everything has flaws#i've gone through a playthrough of this game like 10 times for this#you KNOW im sourcing my claims!!#not really an attack on the people who made the stuff i mentioned at the start#more of a commentary on how they relate with the source material itself#yes yes i know giving a crewmate a lethal weapon is probably not the best idea to curly#does that make this situation any less horrifying?#remember: these aren't real people. everything they do was written on purpose for a reason#i still need to write down my general thoughts on the game as a whole..#also not about one specific person post image writing ect it's a collection of things and ideas thrown onto one post#I'm not any good at ending posts like thase it kind of devolves by yhe end but thats ok
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