#i think these are all warning signs
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lotus-pear Ā· 2 months ago
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finally started p5 royal ā€¼ļøā€¼ļøā€¼ļøā€¼ļø
expect some royal trio art soon they are my dearly beloveds (minus akechi i hope he dies in this reality too)
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parasolladyansy Ā· 8 days ago
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BW Survival AU - lesson 5
She will admit she was careless.
The woods around Nuvema looked especially beautiful today, some rare beams of sunlight catching the icicles on the bare branches. She brought her gaze higher, taking a few steps back when she bumped into him!
She yelped, startled then terrified, flailing then falling in a clumsy heap! Haze & Snow were by her side in an instant, but the man didnā€™t touch one PokĆ© Ball (though he instinctively reached for them, just as startled).
Slowly, very slowly, he rose his other hand to say, ā€œIā€™m not going to hurt you.ā€
They froze, catching their breath from the fright. As she looked in his eyes, every breath felt like an eternityā€¦
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His name was Ikrit.
He said their great-great grandmothers were friends, & that they were friends with a Unovan man who was friends withā€¦her somehow?
She could scarcely believe it. Could she even chance believing him? But thenā€¦how else could he know she was friends with Ingo? She heard he had disappeared about 7 years ago from townsfolk. Could he truly have been in the past, in a completely different region?
He spoke to her in the same language she was born speaking (from Hoenn, he saidā€¦Fallarbor Town), & the Froslass who accompanied him seemed oddly familiarā€¦as was the impeccably neat handwriting in the old letter she held in her icy fingers. It matched the script in the journal he offered as further proof, as well as the train postcard she still kept with her few belongings to read when she was feeling sad.
She paused, thinking.
Her first instinct was to make a run for it - have Haze create an illusion while Snow used Blizzard to offer more cover for them to disappear. That was still an option. The only reason she hadnā€™t already was something about the way he spoke to her - kindly, directly, without suspicion or fear.
Is Reshiramā€¦telling her that this one was okayā€¦?
ā€¦It has been a long, long time since she had a human friendā€¦& maybe this strong, intelligent trainer could help her put things right in this regionā€¦
She can always disappear later if it turned out he was bad.
Lesson 5: Find safe peopleā€¦but be careful.
ā€”
A/N: Even in this very sad timeline, Ansy still met her Valentine (Happy Valentineā€™s Day!) šŸ’Œ
Itā€™s funny to think about how Ingo & Ansyā€™s fates seem tied together between DxP REWRITE & this AU, though as a twist of that same fate, Ingo is the one to try & save Ansy on this timeline. ;u;
Like in his canon timeline, Ikrit spent a lot of time traveling around the various regions, & while in Kitakami, he met Ingo (maybe at the Crystal Pool, maybe in Mossui - not sure). The results of that meeting, & his own research he conducted in Sinnoh (ever the researcher), is what led him to smuggling himself & his PokƩmon with Ingo to frozen Unova.
Ingo told him to look for Ansy while he went to Gear Station, probably saying something like, ā€œIf you find herā€¦bring her with you.ā€ Heā€™d have come with him, but it could be that he didnā€™t have the heart to, in case what Ikrit found was awful ;u;
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xskyll Ā· 4 months ago
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If it hasnā€™t been clear, Izuku is messing with his headset irl when he has his hands by the sides of his head. On that note, Iā€™d like to extend a big thank you to each and every one of you for never asking me about the logistics of how this VR system works.
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thereareeyesinsidethetrees Ā· 8 months ago
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stan: how can you be polyamorous and aroace, orā€¦whatever mabel called it?
ford: in my case, i have my family and i have my platonic polycule. i would prefer to never have to interact with anyone outside these two groups
stan: what about soos and wendy? theyā€™re not in either of those groups
ford: first of all, i am soosā€™ uncle, second of all, are you saying you donā€™t believe i would both die and kill for wendy?
stan: youā€™ve got a weird way of defining family, six
ford: itā€™s my favorite way
#itā€™s the last day of june and i have not been queering it up nearly enough with these text posts#needed to let myself be at least a indulgent. anyway#gravity falls#ford pines#stan pines#(stan: wait whoā€™s the extra person in your polycule#ford: oh you wouldnā€™t know it it goes to another dimension)#in all seriousness though#i have not stopped thinking about ford being at least friends with the hidebehind since that au I created#so the hidebehind is definitely in on the polycule. it goes fiddleford and ford + ford and hidebehind#maybe the moth man gets thrown in too. i donā€™t know maybe it likes being mercilessly hunted down#who am i to assume#if the moth man was there too maybeā€¦#ford and moth man + moth man and fiddleford + fiddleford and ford + ford and hidebehind?#i like to go with the idea that moth man is more of a warning before disasters rather than bringing them#(and we donā€™t even know if the gravity falls moth man is the same as virginiaā€™s moth man)#so i think fiddleford would like him. they share superstitions and moth man is like a comfort cat#is moth man showing signs that something bad is about to happen? if no then you have physical living evidence that nothing bad is happening#if yes. fucking panic.#if they ever hit a yes the polycule may be in slight trouble of losing moth man as a member#i personally never got on board with the ford x moth man train so iā€™m going to keep my headcanon platonic polycule to#fiddauthor + hideford#created a new ship name what the fuck is wrong with me (lighthearted). happy pride month šŸ¦•šŸ³ļøā€āš§ļøšŸ¦‘šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆ
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cementcornfield Ā· 1 month ago
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Offseason Thoughts!!
ok i know a lot of people are dreading this offseason because itā€™s going to be Long itā€™s going to be Dramatic, but honestly iā€™m so here for it. like lowkey i love this time of year because really itā€™s the time for completely unbridled optimism in a lot of ways. if we do A, B, and C, whoā€™s to say that that doesnā€™t fix the team and we win the super bowl next year? you literally canā€™t know for sure that it WONā€™T work!! (i didnā€™t say it was a time for realism, i said optimism, perhaps delusionally so šŸ„²)Ā 
plus iā€™m just genuinely interested in all the roster building stuff. figuring out contracts and how those might work, free agency, the draft and everything that those things entail - love it! all about it! so if youā€™re a sicko like me who IS into all of this (and i completely understand if you arenā€™t because it WILL be exhausting) i thought iā€™d make a little overview about the things weā€™ll be dealing with over the next several months.Ā 
Here is a list of all the internal free agents we are going to have to make decisions on, along with their expected cost and the likelihood of us keeping them
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^Here is our expected cap space for the next few years (taking into account expected cuts like Rankins, Hubbard, and Cappa)Ā plus some extra commentary.
as you can see, we have MORE than enough cash and cap space to be very aggressive this offseason. will we be? itā€™s certainly not in our reputation to do so, but they HAVE been making baby steps over the last few years to catch up to the modern nfl. the most recent example of which is firing coaches like lou before their contracts are up! very uncharacteristic of the brown family. and i think this reflects rumblings you hear on twitter that the organization is frankly embarrassed at how this season went (rightfully so). so i think you can expect they will do SOME things to reflect this urgency, even if itā€™s not as much as weā€™d like them to do.Ā 
the biggest decisions to be made: what do we do about tee?? what do we do about trey?? and then of course extending jaā€™marr, which i donā€™t think is a decision at all for anyone, but theyā€™ve gotta decide how to do it to make both sides as happy as possible, when they struggled with that right up to the first game last season šŸ˜­
Tee: obviously if youā€™ve been following this blog you know i want to keep tee. i think we can pull it off and i think it will be beneficial to the team long term. but there is an argument to be made regarding his durability/injuries and whether the resources weā€™d spend on him would be better spent elsewhere like on fixing our historically bad defense. however, to that i say that weā€™re actually already one of the biggest spenders in terms of cap space on defense, and it didnā€™t help at all lmao. once we get rid of people like sheldon rankins and sam hubbard, who are definitely no longer worth the value of their contracts, we will free up a significant portion of the cap and use it to find better value free agents that can help us. the strategy going from overpaying for bad players to paying average amounts for average players. because with a top 5 offense like we had this year, we truly only need an average defense, unlike the HISTORICALLY bad one we had this year!
(now a caveat to this is if the bengals would actually show theyā€™re willing to go all out and spend BIG on the BEST defensive free agents, then perhaps thatā€™s worth more than keeping tee. but the only thing with that is that i just donā€™t believe the bengals would do it either way. even in 21 when we fixed our whole defense with free agency, we still did it by acquiring a bunch of smaller name value free agents, who ended up performing far above what the market thought they would. and i imagine that will be the strategy by the FO whether we keep tee or not.)Ā 
you can also say that a large part of our FOā€™s failure the last few seasons has been that we arenā€™t keeping our Known Talents. we drafted and developed jessie bates into a star, and then we let him go because we thought we could easily replace his value for cheaper in FA and the draftā€¦.and three years later safety is still a huge hole on our roster. DJ Reader is another example of a key player for our team that we thought we could replace and we failed dramatically. looking at tee, who is the replacement we have in line? jermaine?? for SO MANY reasons that is no longer a viable plan lmao. Someone in FA? this is a weak FA class. so weā€™d let tee walk and then probably end up overpaying for a lesser talent? whatā€™s the point of that? okay maybe we draft a WR high to replace tee? well iā€™m hearing that itā€™s also not a great WR draft. and to expect a first year rookie to come in and offer even half of what tee does is also not a super sound strategy! (not to mention weā€™d have to spend a high draft pick that should probably be used on defense!)Ā 
tag tee? maybe! but i donā€™t think itā€™s as likely as extending him at this point. the second tag will be expensive (i think over 25k? maybe 26k) and that takes up a big chunk of our cap space if thatā€™s what weā€™re worried about. plus it will piss off tee, to be tagged twice and not given the benefit of being able to get a long term deal? with his injury history especially? players hate that shit. i think itā€™s more beneficial for both parties to just do an extension at that point if we want to keep him. you can spread the cap hit out easier for the team, and tee wonā€™t have to worry about his long term security as much.Ā 
ANYWAY this got long, honestly tee should have just been his own post lmao. but this situation is deifnitely the most interesting to me and seeing how it goes will be FASCINATING.Ā 
Trey: he requested a trade last offseason because he knows that his current contract is significantly less than he deserves for the value he offers (and that was BEFORE he got first team all pro and led the entire nfl in sacks this season, oh god šŸ„²) we have him under contract, but would he be willing to play under it? or would he retire like he threatened to? iā€™m honestly not sure, and i hope it doesnā€™t come to us finding out. we need to keep our star players happy, which means we need to figure something out here. do we extend him? he just turned 30, which the FO always frowns upon when it comes to extensions lol BUT he also just had his best year? i donā€™t think even our idiotic FO could say that just because his age starts with a 3 now means heā€™ll be washed next season or even the season after. what iā€™m seeing on twitter is that heā€™s expected to get at least one more deal of 2-3 years. and looking at the age of elite edge guys in the league, i think that thatā€™s fair! and if you ask me, completely and totally worth it to keep trey. i mean jesus, who do we even have on defense if we lose him?? i think this one is a no-brainer, weā€™ve gotta offer him an extension for more money and i think heā€™d still be willing to take a reasonable deal to stay.Ā 
Jaā€™Marr: oh my god. iā€™m still filled with SO MUCH RAGE when i think back to how CLOSE we were to getting him signed last offseason. we were RIGHT THERE. all the rumors were saying it was basically a done deal!! all the numbers and years were agreed upon!!! but our cheap-ass FO couldnā€™t just get over themselves and structure the guarantees to match how most deals are done in the rest of the league!! they showed theyā€™re willing to do a modern structure for Joe, they need to show theyā€™re willing to do it with the rest of our stars. especially our first team all pro triple crown winning stars!! jesus christ!!!
the only thing that offers me some comfort is that jaā€™marr is still on the same path, contract-wise, as Justin Jefferson. they also couldnā€™t get over the hump before his fourth year even when both parties wanted to, and he ended up signing a massive contract in june the next year. iā€™m hoping that we can accomplish the same on a similar timeline because oh my god i do not need all the drama of jaā€™marr missing training camp again! and when you look at all the other WRs up for an extension this offseason (garrett wilson probably the only one who even comes slightly close to jaā€™marrā€™s level), i think itā€™s fair to say that jaā€™marr is setting the market whenever he signs. then like with justinā€™s last year, the other WRs will all sign slightly below. so iā€™m hoping hoping hoping that thereā€™s no motivation on either side to drag this out. but of course, weā€™ll see!!Ā 
and then weā€™ve gotta think about the lesser free agents like Mike G, Mike H, BJ, Germaineā€¦i have no idea what we do with them. iā€™d like to retain Mike Gā€¦..the three defensive vets i dunno! theyā€™re good locker room leadersā€¦mostly? theyā€™re still solid if not losing a step. should we bring them back for reasonable vet deals? probably?? can we find better value in FA?? iā€™m honestly not sure. like you donā€™t want to lose these guys but itā€™s also hard to say that we should keep them at all costs when you look at the defensive performance last year. i just donā€™t know here. iā€™d hope we keep at least one of them? BJ maybe being the most important in my eyes?Ā 
thereā€™s so much more to talk about honestly but iā€™ll stop yapping for now! what do you guys think we should do?? iā€™d love to hear your thoughts!Ā 
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mionkings Ā· 7 months ago
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The Deep Lands šŸ•
Amity Park is strange; even without the ghosts' destruction, the ectoplasm is enough to change and make things strange. The residents just as eccentric and weird. But they can be friendly when they want!
However, the national parks near or in Amity Park are terrifying.
People disappear mysteriously to never be seen again without explanation or are found eventually either dead or alive in the most unexpected places ands strange circumstances.
Those that do come back, become different. There is no true explanation.
Amity Parkers or Ghosts take notice that there is just somethingā€” ancient and primal deep in the mountains, where stone and trees older than humanity bleed with energy of even the most deepest parts of the Infinite Realms. It is enough to ward ghosts to indulge in their obsessions away from nature and into Amity Park, something familiar.
Has the land changed with them? Or has it always been there, untouched until now?
For when Phantom flies by the large vaste land, he takes caution. Entering in with the respect one would have towards a home, or rather a haunt.
It calls to him.
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angeart Ā· 2 months ago
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Howwwww did you angst the world tour?? šŸŽ€
this question made me giggle so much oh i'm glad you asked :3c there was so much yummy grian angst in the hc world tour!
it's all about grian and his penchant for destruction. he doesn't even mean to! he's not trying to be pesky; quite the opposite. he's curious but restrained, trying to be good, trying to follow instructions. he's not malicious at all! he's just there to see what people were up to, open and friendly and curious, eager to look and learn and praise. not a bad intention in sight... and yet things seem to break wherever he goes. everything he touches goes wrong.
the guilt churns, acidic and overwhelming, and grian's miserable. why is he like this? he's trying so hard, why is this the only way he can ever be? why can't it stop?
spoilers for grian's world tour video below <3
plantie pointed out to me how, during the tour of scar's train, when grian got rid of scar's arrowsā€”the glitched ones that doc put thereā€”he was so desperate to point it out after scar just glossed over it. as if he wanted to show that he can do something good. he can be helpful, he can fix things instead of just breaking everything.
but then we have all the other things, right? grian can't escape it.
when he was with etho and the mushroom farm exploded, he sums it up in a wretched if confused apology: "i'm so sorry. the two times i tried to use it, i broke it :( and created a water source floatingā€” which i don't know how it happenedā€” and flung the TNT, which i really don't understandā€”"
they move on, but it's so clear it lingers.
etho isn't blaming him. he's amused and brushes it off and moves along, unbothered, but grian himself can't wrap his head around it. about that propensity to breaking things, even unintentionally. the way nothing is safe around him.
he tells etho: "i can't stop thinking about your mushroom farm. why does everything i touch break, in new and unexpected ways?"
(not to mention when etho's showing him frogger and grian plays, almost instantly etho goes: "uh-oh, the game's broken", with a little huff of laugh. it wasn't exactly tied to anything grian did, but still something i wanted to point out, since grian was there for it <3)
and then grian goes to zedaph, right?
the very first game zedaph shows him. the very first. grian plays the way he was told to, the way he was meant to, andā€” he breaks it.
zedaph just laughs and moves them on.
(just sprinkling in a side note that zedaph's furnace minigame also didn't seem to work the way it should'veā€”)
by the time grian gets to pearl's, it's starting to be a pattern that's so clearly eating away at him, making him anxious. he doesn't want it to happen again!
and yet.
pearl invites him to play her wordle game, and grian mindlessly goes and pushes the wrong button trying to start it... instantly stepping away with a quiet groan of a dread-filled "...oh-" followed by: "i justā€” ruined it already."
there's something about the mood switch. the way he seems more restrained and tame, silently upset with himself, trying so hard not to mess things up further. questioning why this is happening again. why he can't stop making it happen.
he walks over to the reset game button and asks, carefully: "can i press reset? is it gonna hurt? šŸ„ŗšŸ‘‰šŸ‘ˆ"
pearl reassures him he can, with a sigh noting that it'll just take a while.
there's an almost hysteric laugh from grian, followed by an exasperated, upset scream. "everything i touch breaks! when i went to eā€” i broke etho's thing when i went toā€” not frogger, hisā€” his mushroom farm iā€” it blew up."
"you blew up his mushroom farm?? how? what did you do?!"
"yeah, iā€” i broke zed's game, instantly, pretty much, it'sā€”"
"oh my gosh :("
"sorry šŸ„ŗ"
pearl is quick to reassure him, though. "well, luckily for you, this isā€” you doing that (pushing the wrong button) does not break the game. it's just, you now have to wait for it to reset."
she makes sure grian knows that he didn't mess up anything terribly here. he didn't break pearl's game. it's okay! it's fine!
and then grian right clicks to open the book, and instead makes bonemeal pop out of a composter.
i think at this point pearl is a little bit taken aback by how wrong everything really seems to be going around grian. she makes sure to say, "it's fine," again, just so grian won't start worrying about it all again. "you're clicking on everything that people do not usually click on today. but it's okay. it's still not broken! it's not broken, it's alright, it's okayā€” i've got failsaves for people like you."
it's so sweet how she really tries to soothe himā€” and yet she can't help but let out that last remark.
people like you.
those few words surely lodge in more than all the reassurances. they're like splinter, proving grian right.
eventually, he gets to skizz.
during the tour of skizz's base, skizz shows him a horse statue and starts talking about how he lost his first horse at an event that grian was also a part of. and grian's stomach instantly sinks.
he asks hushedly, a bit confused, trying to remember: "was i there?"
skizz laughs. "you were absolutely there, dude."
which leads grian to ask, uneasily: "did i do it?"
skizz waves his hands, quick to easily reassure that no! that's not it, grian didn't do it!
grian lets out an oh with such palpable relief, and goes on to explain about how, "i remember witnessing it, but sometimes it's hard to disentangle whether i did it or not. coz i tell you what, on this tour i've broken everyone's stuff."
nobody was upset with grian when things broke, but here he is, several hermits down, still unable to leave it to rest. because it's him. it's him who did all of that, somehow, and he didn't mean to, but it doesn't matter. it happened anyway.
and now he can't even tell what is and what isn't his fault anymore.
the guilt is deep rooted, leaving anxious assumptions and dark, jagged precipices. how much did he destroy? what else should he be feeling guilty about? how far does this go?
he keeps breaking things, and it's such a blur that he can no longer tell what is and what isn't his fault.
the tour continues, and he delves into skizz's pyramid. and it's justā€” it's just a tunnel to swim through. nothing to mess up, besides potentially dying to suffocation, right?
and yet you can hear skizz shrilly exclaim: "oh he's going to end up breaking something!!"
and, (plantie's words: ) grian hearing that and just wondering, is that all i'm good for? is that all i'm known for? is that all i am?
there's no room for doubt; not really. that is what grian does, all the time, whether he wants to or not. he breaks stuff. he justā€” he doesn't mean to. and this tour is one big show of how powerless he is against it. (how everyone expects it from him anyway.)
despite it all, grian perseveres, trying out skizz's game, stubbornly dedicated and trying to win. (to pass; to have something to be proud of, at leastā€”) and he gets to the powdered snow section.
there, he jumps across to a pathway that he was meant to circle to through the snow instead.
it's not breaking anything, not really. not even the rules. it's not cheating! he's justā€” he just did something skizz did not expect, but that was entirely possible within the game's design, even if not intended. he exploited it to his advantage; a risky, tricky shortcut.
and yet skizz remarks with a laugh: "this is what grian does! he breaks games!"
no matter what grian does... is that all he'll ever be?
is that all they'll see?
he fails getting through skizz's game, is thanked for play-testing, praises it all, they talk it all away, and...
and then grian goes to tour mumbo's base.
and fails to even die properly to his llamaā€”
and then mumbo shows him his archive machine, and instantly panicks when grian gets curious about it, begging him not to touch anything. and grian says: "your stomach just fell through didn't it?" and after mumbo's immediate agreement, he adds: "and rightfully so. coz, almost everything i've touched on this tour has broken."
there's not a sliver of surprise to mumbo's anxious rushed: "yeah, yeah yeah! please stop now." because, of course things have broken. of course what grian touches is bound to go wrong. of courseā€”
and then mumbo very carefully tells grian what to do with the machine.
grian does as he's told.
mumbo looks up and pauses, a frown crossing his face as he takes it in. he notes that grian probably did it too fastā€”
(something went wrong)
(something broke)
mumbo says: "i can't believe you come along and every single thing in my base starts [going wrong/breaking/malfunctioning]"
and then grian mysteriously ends up with an extra book from mumbo's machine, much to mumbo's dismay. grian's confused, cogs spinning as he tries to figure out what did he mess up this time to result in this.
it's clear mumbo wants grian away from his machine. it's not safe. (grian isn't safe.)
"maybe just give that to me and maybe just step away from the contraption. and thenā€” maybe just leave me toā€”"
grian's upset and bewildered voice cuts in: "i didn't do anything wrong this time :(("
he's trying so hard.
he's trying so hard to be good and do things right and not mess anything up.
(it isn't working.)
(it's never bound to work, is it?)
mumbo ushers him away, and ends up showing him another cool inventionā€”an elevator. except the second mumbo hits the button, a creeper shows up and explodes it. (it's midday.) (it wasn't even meant to be there.)
this one isn't grian's fault at all, but with everything that's happenedā€” well, it's easy enough to link it to grian's presence. like a bad luck omen.
apprehensively, grian asks if the elevator broke, and mumboā€”a bit bewildered by the reality of itā€”says that no, it seems to still work. "amazingly," he tacks on, disbelieving.
grian's relieved. "ohh, i thought we were in big trouble there!"
besides himself, mumbo anxiously agrees: "augh. i was like, if every single creation that i show breaks in some fashion, i'm just gonna quit."
because this isn't normal. none of this is, least of all everything at once. it simply doesn't happen.
(not when grian isn't there, anyway.)
mumbo notes that he needs to work on his lighting, and grian nods wisely saying it's a perpetual issue, but the anxiety is digging its talons in now, unrelenting. (what else is going to go bad in grian's presence? what else will he mess up? what else will he break? why is he like this?)
another remark that comes after this is mumbo's nervous: "i've actually just built up the automatic sorter which does thisā€”which you're not gonna touch. we're banned from touching any redstone contraptions!"
and what can grian do but oblige? (but he can at least look, right?)
but does it ever change anything?
does it matter?
-
at the end of the day, the others don't think too much about it.
they all say their part, pass their judgment, wave their hands, dismiss, move on. it doesn't keep them up at night.
... i think it might keep grian up at night.
a cacophonous collection of word snippets, aimed at him or woven around him, digging under his skin until it bleeds. a noose of inescapable fate, a tightening band around his chest that promises he can only ever be one thing:
a vessel for destruction.
it doesn't matter if he wants to be.
shackles and chains and a cosmic inevitability written into his skin, etched into his bones, tangled into his bloodstream. and an ever-rising guilt like stormy sea, far above his head now, drowning him.
(maybe he's not meant to be near other people and their things.)
(maybe he's not meant to touch games that were constructed with so much effort and love and passion poured into them.)
(maybe he shouldn'tā€”)
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bonus screenshots from discord DMs (with extra sprinkles of hmtb mentions):
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bonus hmtb quotes because i kept thinking about it:
He always destroys the things he loves most, after all.
and:
He destroyed everything he touched, and when there was nothing left, he destroyed the only remaining thing: himself.
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#ange answers#ribbon anon#grian angst#i might've gotten a bit rambly - this wasn't meant to be so long it just sort of kept snowballing the further i went. oops#anyway grian's such a good vessel for guilt#because he internalises it and holds on#even if nobody else holds a grudge#even if nobody else blames him#(and yet in all the little remarks - do they really not hold it against him? isn't there proof enough that clearly it matters to them too?)#(so how could he ever be absolved?)#for them these are just some random events#but for him it piles up and piles up and piles up#into an undeniable pattern that stains his hands like blood#and he can't wash his skin free of it#he can't escape it#no matter how hard he tries#(and yes it does tie beautifully into hmtb grian and his own perspective on things and struggles and how he deals with guilt)#(the keyword here is: badly) (he deals with the guilt badly)#i also went to think about other things like the tunnel bore incident and SL mumbo and WL zombie skizz and-#just so many instances of grian guilt you know?#it builds up until it's indisputable and inevitable#and grian is cornered by the reality of it (with nowhere to go)#think about it:#grian feels guilt over things he feels he has no control over (because it doesn't matter how hard he tries)#and we know grian thrives on having control#(just throwing that out there)#something about how grian keeps wretchedly confessing it to everyone - that he already broke many things#like tacking a warning sign on himself so they'd know to step away and save themselves#(and he's so scared it'll happen again. so scared that it'll keep happening. so scared that it'll never stopā€”)
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nyxi-pixie Ā· 1 year ago
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'skk dont like each other they literally always say they wanna kill each other'
as if they dont mean it in the most weirdass possessive 'no one else gets to kill you' way. as if dazai no.1 romanticiser of death osamu isnt being completely insane about it (bc what do you MEAN you've thought about killing him EVERY DAY for SEVEN YEARS)
(theyre also Lying bc theyd never actually kill each other otherwise theyd have done it already. its just a fun little exchange they have to be like 'wow ur so awful and detestable i wanna give u a lil kiss on the forehead (with a bullet<3)')
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nattousan Ā· 4 months ago
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I officially start as an apprentice at a tattoo shop today!! Yippee!!
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i've been drawin on myself and others since I was a kid so i guess this was only natural! I'm very excited and also Very terrified!
I can't help but think about the election coming up and how drastically different my future looks depending on who wins. Nobody's gonna want to get tattoos when they can't afford to live in the even Worse hypercapitalist hellscape trump would turn this country into should he get reelected.
How could i escape a potentially dictatorial country when I've been apprenticing and all my savings are gone? What would happen if he succeeds in banning my existence as a trans man and i'm forced to detransition in the eyes of the law? I really don't see anything being sacred when it comes to human rights for this monster and until we know once and for all that he's out, I will not be able to relax.
Alls I can do right now is make sure i VOTE. That's the one thing that will save us. Vote blue. Vote for the future and our potential to improve things under an imperfect but not outright fascist government. Overwhelm the numbers to where there can be no argument as to who won.
please. make sure to vote.
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coriander-candlesticks Ā· 6 months ago
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I was pouring a promised libation out to Hermes, Apollo, Aphrodite, and Dionysus this afternoon (I'd asked them for help with a personal matter involving a sibling) and as I was looking up at the sky talking about the situation I saw three hawks start to circle something a little ways in the distance. Hawks aren't exactly uncommon here but it had been a while since I'd seen any, let alone three at once, so it caught my attention.
And while I was trying to figure out what type of bird they were (not an eagle, too short a neck to be a vulture, etc) one of them swooped down into a neighbor's backyard and back up along the tree in my backyard, close enough that, if a branch weren't in the way, I would have been able to see its feather markings. While hawks were somewhat usual, experiencing that certainly was not. So, of course, when I got inside I looked up if any Greek gods are associated with hawks.
And, of course, Apollo is.
I've been thinking a lot about the difference between "this is just a Thing That Happens" and a sign so it was nice to see a direct example of how something differs when it's coming from a god.
#to be clear: i confirmed both today's instance and the last one (the sun coming out from behind a cloud directly after pouring a libation)#via divination. im checking my work#i said i needed direct & outside (aka not from within my own head) communication and apollo went 'on it'#i appreciate it. he's been the most communicative so far but hermes has too#got another whopper of a tarot pull during today's check-in after asking hermes for help w/ communicating like i did last time#they've been pretty intertwined so far. ive been focusing a lot on getting my etsy up & running though so it makes sense as an intersection#of their domains#aphrodite and hestia have been a bit more subtle so far but still there#also: im not trying to do augury here. not touching that w/ a ten foot pole it's scary & im still trying to wrap my head around when to use#the alphabet oracle im not ready for that level of complicated. i just took the type of bird & the fact that it's behavior i havent#seen before. and when i say it swooped over my backyard i mean it was *directly* over my head. it was wild#i wouldnt have gone to 'hm this may be an acknowledgement/sign' if it were just the hawks circling over head#i also appreciate that hermes hasnt tried to fuck with me yet. trying to parse that while im still getting my pagan sea legs would be#a nightmare and may have just put me off paganism entirely. i was drawn to hellenic paganism *because* there wasnt a constant warning about#potential tricksters looming overhead#coriander says#hellenic pagan#helpol#hellenic polytheism#apollo#hellenic community#theoi#pagans of tumblr#paganism#hellenic gods#ill remember all the associated symbols/animals/plants eventually#lowkey thinking of making flashcards lol. could be fun
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rubiatinctorum Ā· 4 months ago
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friendship advice is SO FRUSTRATING! show that you're interested in people's lives but be careful not to idolize them or else they'll think you think you're beneath them and then they'll start to think it too. provide some incentive for people being your friend but don't live in service of your friends because then you'll attract people only looking to use someone. do things worth admiring but don't talk about them to people or else you're asking for too much attention. be attentive but not too attentive or else you're creepy, take initiative but not too much or else you're clingy, and never ever ever ever ever hope for anything better than your lot.
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buckingham-ashtray Ā· 6 months ago
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The Invisible Clubber........................ SMILING. CAN'T STOP SMILING. LIFE SO HAPPY. LOVE. LOVE LIFE. BEAT GETTING FASTER. CAN'T STOP SMILING. NOW JUST HARMONY. NO BEAT. MELODY. STOP MOVING. SMILE TO THE SKY. ALL STANDING STILL. BEAUTIFUL. NEVER BEEN SUCH HARMONY IN ALL HISTORY. WANT TO KISS EVERYONE. THEY WANT TO KISS ME. BREATHE IN. BREATHE OUT.................
Sebastian's Story.......... Sometimes I wonder what it'll be like to die. I'll find myself drifting off, staring at something, anything and I'll stop blinking. I feel my whole body slowing down... My heartbeat... And I wonder how long it'll be broken
*Sorry that I couldn't find the source where I got this from and have no idea when this was released. If anyone has the link I will be very glad to insert it!
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angorwhosebabyisthis Ā· 4 months ago
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honestly it's been really healing being back to actively contributing things and writing out thoughts on tumblr the last week or so, because while twitter tends to be easier for me to write out Thoughts on without getting overwhelmed, the environment in the twitter fandom circles i'm interested in is not only infested with antis but cliqueish in a way that is caustic to the fucking soul if you try to express a thought that's more than three sentences long--a hundred times over if you're autistic in slightly the wrong way--and it's incredibly reassuring to come back to an environment where the very kindest and most inclusive people toward you are not clearly thinking the r-slur the entire time they interact with you lmao
#whosebaby talks#took an incident of just open petty cruelty the other day for me to finally go#you know what all of this is doing a huge number on my self-esteem and scrupulosity and social anxiety and mental health overall#sometimes it pays to hold out and give the benefit of the doubt#when your knee-jerk reaction is to think something Must Be a Sign of Shitty Intent; bc often it will turn out that wasn't the case at all#but unfortunately sometimes it turns out people are in fact just being shitty in exactly the way you thought they were#and at the *very* best you are incompatible in such a way that if they don't have bad intentions you're just never going to be able to tell#or well. not even necessarily bad *intentions*; just shitty behavior that's harmful to you regardless of whether they mean well#sometimes you just gotta accept that even if neither of you *is* being shitty it's not worth your peace of mind to never be able to confirm#and it's better to just save both of you the stress and not try to pursue that.#it fuckin sucks when it's people you think are cool and really want to get to know; it's a hard lesson to learn; but it's the way sometimes#......and then sometimes the confirmation you finally get is that yeah okay this is some bullshit#and not in a way that can likely be communicated past; no matter how much effort you make to be kind; clear; and mature#and being publicly humiliated for carefully trying to yes-and some clarification on meta of mine#which was being used in ways i was deeply uncomfortable with; and had had no warning would take the turn that it did#and which was contributing to the original post gaining traction in the first place#all targeted in ways pretty much tailor-made to hurt someone with specific issues they had seen me talk about + acknowledged#was just. yeah i think i'm done here lmao#i am Not someone who takes down meta once posted#so the fact that it was bad enough to make me delete an entire thread really says something lol#anyway. lots of other context there; and i appreciate that in some ways the person was genuinely trying to be kind; but i'm. yeah.#that shit Hurted Extremely; and made me realize that while i'm not the *most* well-socialized or articulate or approachable#there is just something in the water over there and no amount of The Problem Not Being Me would have mattered#and the nice asks/replies/comments i've gotten both recently and during hibernation make me feel warm inside; thank y'all <3#the salt files#bullying cw#ableism cw
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the-mold-is-coming Ā· 7 months ago
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im currently raiding a reupload account on pinterest to see if i recognise any artists to let them know and to pressure them to take it down if they dont want it there. they reupload it without credit.
against all odds, i have already found my art in there twice. one of them I had uploaded to pinterest myself, but since when you save art it keeps the original description and this one had none of that, it was a reupload. I am commenting in all those pins asking for them to be taken down. if they are not within a couple of days i will start mass reporting.
my memory isnt reliable, i sometimes cant tell if i recognise something from seeing it on tumblr or from seeing it there on pinterest before. if you feel like helping out dm me. I am focusing on their morro folder, since its what im the most familiar with, but i could use the help, you might know some of the artists i cant recognise
artists have to stick together, and reuploading without credits or asking for permission isnt something nice to do, even if the art is signed.
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mechieonu Ā· 1 year ago
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haven't seen HH yet & my only real hope is that charlastor keeps whatever dynamic they had goin on
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quixoticanarchy Ā· 7 months ago
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Itā€™s kind of interesting to observe my mother as like,, a fallible and flawed creature but who does act on some sort of internal logic like. sheā€™s not Like This for no reason. I get the sense she is completely out of touch w how things affect both her and others and so she lives by rules like ā€˜do everything all of the time even if itā€™s awful do it anywayā€™ and ā€˜anyone who tells me im wrong is wrongā€™ and never seems to perceive the consequences. Like I think part of why she is so high strung and brittle and prone to suddenly hit walls with great force and explode into shrapnel is just that it does not occur to her that she could not do those things. And at this point sheā€™s been driving herself into walls so hard for so long all the shock absorbers are completely busted. Thinking abt all this does not necessarily make it easier to engage with her but I can see the tendencies in myself and map her path out so I can like. try real hard to not follow it
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