#i want to stop bleeding all the time!!
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Yall imagine Danny getting help from Batman and tells him about how hes on the run (it was a joke in passing smh) and how he has no home (it was ment to be funny man) then all of a sudden Bruce way shows up on a totally casual stroll in his neighbourhood. “Oh look a child who is in need laaa dee daa let me help you poor random child who I have no idea who you are.” As if Danny is an idiot. He isnt fooled in the slightest. He knows when something is up. Batman clearly is using Bruce Wayne to help kids off the street.
Danny is staying at Wayne manner and notices how no one really talks about the bats. Or tif they do Bruce gets this look then quickly changes the subject. Hes putting so much effort into it too. And at first Danny hardly noticed. Now it’s obvious theres a connection. At first he thought Bruce Wayne hated batman with how often he refused to comment or gave his kids a glare when they mentioned the big bad bat. But now it’s clearly something else. Danny got a chance to talk to the commissioner alone and then it clicked. Danny had asked whats Mr.Waynes beef with Batman and the commissioner seemed so confused. Quickly telling Danny about how the two have worked together. How Bruce has even helped the bat with information or a distraction from time to time. Why would Danny think that he hated him???
And BAM Danny had it. Bruce Wayne is dating THE Batman!!! Holy shit it makes so much sense. Danny would often find batgear around the house. Bruce probably got targeted a bunch and thats probably how they met.
Now hes trying so hard to be supported of his clearly closeted father figure. He also gets why it’s not public info too. Paints a huge target on Bruce. Plus his many many kids. Must be hard for them. What a crazy life they live. Jason would probably be so jealous of their literal fairytale romance.
Danny tells Bruce that he is supported by him and that his secret is safe until hes ready to tell anyone else. Bruce niw thinking Danny knows hes batman shows up no mask and Danny goes nuts. “You can’t out yourself in danger to protect him bruce!!! You are just some himbo man!!! He wouldnt want this!!!” Thinking Bruce is going to try and fight in Batmans place.
Then Danny walks up and places a hand on bruces should (he has to reach lmao shorty). “I will go. I will keep everyone safe. You can count in me” transforms snd flys off to defeat the big bad. Leaving a fully stunned and confused bruce.
#danny phantom#dp x dc#dpxdc#yall have seen the batman lego movie right?#I mean the jokerxbatman stuff was fantastic but I loved how ribin thought he got two dads#then he lost them both at the same time#beautiful#I was gonna have more to this and I might later#I have so mich stuff to fo and im standing here soaking my pgone in the shower to write this shit#thats why I have so many typos now a days byw cause my phone is sopping#also im missing a bit ig my goot cause I guess I just moonley brain and ripped it off???#idk why I did that but it started bleeding and it hurts all the time and I kist want it to stop#but also I started to do it a third time#yes I did it twice#lord help me im stupid#ok im a go dye my hair white. unrelated ti dp
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Spent the last 2 days playing "Remember You will Die" demo by @vapolis and I couldn’t get the just a leather jacket and underwear outfit out of my head and wanted to draw it so badly and then I was picturing all kinds of outfits Nova would wear now here we are.
#I’m literally obsessed with her Mountain Dew hair and her sunglasses#nova has been so much fun to draw I actually wanted to draw another outfit but I had to stop myself or I’d keep going#fun fact nova has multiple bandaids with different designs#she believes if she’s going to be bleeding all the time she might as well make them accessories#she’s got sanrio characters hearts fruit all kinds of colors#remember you will die#rywd#my art#marzely#oc: nova
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all these posts about how "its okay to go to college later in life" or "you can go to a trade school" but no posts about how those institutions shouldn't be a requirement for a decent job that pays a living wage in the first place
#cj talks#i personally hate how college is shoved down my throat all the time#i dont want to go!!!!! im very happy not having any sort of degree!!!!!!#stop basing my worth on an elitist institution that just wants to bleed me dry of money i don't have in the first place!!!!!!!
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dean loved cas for years. years. and he thought he couldn't have him, and he didn't want to lose him. so he shoved it down and he smiled and he tried not to get too close because he thought cas didn't want that. and cas would be better off anyway, right? anyone dean loves will get hurt. cas got hurt anyway. dean got hurt anyway. dean never even got to tell him.
#he didn't know. he didn't know#how could he know?#and by the time he knew it was too late#cas was gone#and he didn't come back. he didn't come back and dean just had to live with that.#god.#they framed it as a happy ending#dean just wanted to be loved. and he was. and it didn't matter in the end#he got the ending he always thought and feared he would get#the love just prolonged his death. strung it out. made him suffer.#he died in that dungeon all of that was just him bleeding out#i need to stop before i lose it for real#spn
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#tw neil gaiman#respectfully how is the conclusion some people are coming to all of this “good or bad doesn't exist”#by all means use that as a comfort that the media you are consuming isn't 'tainted' by the creator#but if not for comfort then how is your main takeaway that you want everyone to know after someone has done horrible things#to be that that person can be good.#it's not an inaccurate statement most of the time but neither do i think it's an appropriate one at this time.#anyway where's that post that said “are people going to stop dickriding neil gaiman now or was the zionism not enough”#because yeah. i get some people are devastated by this news and if this is your first rodeo with liking a celebrity#then i suggest you step away from idolisation or the mindset that what someone shows online is who they are#because i understand objectively why you might feel that way and the inherent connection between art and artist#and i understand feeling like maybe some of that toxicity could have bleed into the creations#but if you're crushed just because you thought he was a good person i hope this is a lesson going forward#because the reaction should not be this intense. you should not be having parasocial relationships with anyone#in the end you don't and will never know them no matter how good you think they are#feel free to disagree. but this is my take and has been my take for a long time#and it has been my take on neil gaiman since i joined the fandom
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I wish I could tell every young person with a uterus (especially with bad cramps and/or dysphoria and/or depression, etc) that there is a decent chance they just straight up don’t need to live with that. don’t let the stigma surrounding contraceptives and the expectation that you should just ride it out and suffer win. for the love of god if there’s a chance you can lighten or even stop your period and it’s symptoms all-together, unless there’s a legit health concern, your doctor should at least make you aware of that option. I want every young person to know that “birth control” is not just for birth control and it has the potential to make your life infinitely easier to live. do not give in to anti-pill propaganda im serious
#kibumblabs#I remember being in late high school and my doctor suggesting it because of how terrible my dysphoria/related depressive episodes related to#menstrual cycle shit is. and like. im not saying it was a flawless transition but good god im serious it changed my fucking life#not to the extent testosterone would but it was still like. a Big Deal#because I was like. what the fuck. I’ve been suffering through this shit for years. and no one told me this was a thing? we’re all just#expected to suffer? because it’s ‘Normal’????#this whole time I could just. turn the bleeding off. or at least Down. turn off the debilitating breast soreness and swelling. etc.#anyway im not sure why im thinking about this but#i guess every time i hear someone (without any known health issues that’d interfere) like ah time for my monthly Week Of Pain And Misery#i want to shake them by the shoulders like. YOU DONT NEED TO LIVE LIKE THIS. PLEASE I JUST WANT YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS.#and yes i know it doesn’t work for everyone or sometimes there’s side effects that make it not worth it or what have you#but for a huge huge huge amount of people. they just don’t know it’s an option. because it’s labelled Birth Control. and because there’s#this long-standing quiet fear mongering about it that makes it seem more dangerous and sinister and promiscuous than it is#similar in a lot of ways to other stigmatized hormone treatments. like. well. you know#doesn’t help that when you first get your prescription it comes with the worlds biggest list of Potential Issues (most of which are either#minor temporary or unlikely)#grahhghhhhhhhhh anyway. on a seperate but related note shout out to my fellow tboys who either didn’t have their periods totally stop on t#or (like in my case) they came back after like Years for whatever reason and that had to be dealt with via supplementary contraceptives#cw menstruation
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#vent#tw suicide#tw sh#kinda#i hate hate hate having bad days#for no reason nothing happened nothings wrong i just suck#i just want to ruin everything with everyone i know and then kill myself#i wish i could stab myself to death#i Should be studying and i want to watch voltron but i cant stop just wasting my time on my phone#i want to rip myself open and bleed to death violently#actually remembered to cut my nails this morning so i cant even do anythign. they dont even cut into my palm at this length.#and anything else is too much effort im a low-effort self harmer💀#ugh i would actually love to die lowkey kinda idk but i live by this one thing i read#‘if my depression wants be dead its gonna have to kill me itself���#im not doing noones dirtywork#me when healing isnt linear#i should be over all of these things i have been over all of these things why am i so bothered again#chronic cant move on-er#i wish i could disappear#i think i took a hit i cant come back from#like mentally/emotionally#well several hits#i wish someone liked me#like really liked me. the way i like people. more thsn they like anyone else#im not good enough on my own i meed somelne to hang onto#human parasite#something something everything ive ever let go of has claw marks on it#ive never not ruined something
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good morning. thinking again of juve and her dog
#oreste garifalle save me. save me oreste garifalle (he cannot even save himself)#i just.. man its so over. by the time they encounter each other juve is the worst shes ever been & oreste doesnt yet know he could be better#so. sure. juve needs to gather the pieces of herself back up and double down on her coping mechanisms but not thinking at all about whats#happened to her/how she was affected by it and by instead fixating on someone elses problems. she needs to offer drive and direction to#another in order to feel more in control of herself#and luckily for her unluckily for himself. by the time she finds him. oreste is only Just stumbling out of a gothic pseudoincest nightmare#in which all of his own wants and desires have been very deliberately placed on a shelf higher than he can reach and hes all too eager#to accidentally replicate previous dynamics (dog) with someone new#so. tldr. juve needs to control/'fix' someone and oreste as of yet only knows how to be controlled/molded in anothers image#which would already be so bad except to top it off. juve is steadily fucking losing it. due to the repression crimes#and even as she tries to distance herself from the emotional aftermath of what she went through. it bleeds into the way she treats oreste#instead. like.#her base level dehumanization of him would already be bad but. as is. in the way it finds her.#juve completely lacks the finesse or grace or awareness to approach it as she normally would#so she instead traps them both in this horrible codependent situation where her 'fixing' oreste mostly involves her going oh! i know!#your problem is that youre not in touch with your anger right? you should be angry about what those guys did to you but youre not rigjt??#so!! easy fix!! lets just get you angry!!!#<- girl who is not entirely wrong but has also never processed any of her own anger a day in her life and Will be projecting#<- girl who will treat you both as a metaphor/extension of herself but Also as a recreation of the previous dynamic she was in with an#excessively angry individual#<- girl who decides the best way to put you in touch with your anger again is by. repeatedly triggering you until you protest#essentially bending your finger back and waiting to see which will come first. you letting it break or begging her to stop#and oreste is always too deeply traumatized and overwhelmed to do anything but let it break. so.#notnow#juve mizani#oreste garifalle#one of my favorite scenes i have planned for them is her making oreste relay what his abuser (kai) looked like. in detail.#as a skinshifter herself.#you see where this is going.#you should send me asks about them btw. if you want. also if you dont
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one odd thing about going deeper is that I'm no longer satisfied with shallower. and that's, weirdly enough, a net positive. I've self harmed - eh, twice? in the last month. both were well into the criteria that should have got sutures and ignored it; suspect I hit a vein once and was extremely close to muscle, which feels kind of odd. yeah, it's ramped up; yeah, there's a lot of blood and all that kind of stuff. very high risk of infection, potential nerve damage and all that kind of stuff (though I have not got either of them; I scared off an infection that wanted to hang round by chucking quantities of alcohol on it). but at the same time. that's only twice. that's a lot better than previously.
#tw sh#the one from a fortnight ago. which i have told nobody irl about including the person to which i showed the first one. is still thinking#about healing and not really doing it yet. it'll get there. might have to wear a bandage or smth on placement#if we were going into winter i would think there was a serious concern of doing it a bunch more but for now i know i absolutely cannot#because it will be visible.#i mean it already will but im gonna pretend it was from months ago and hopefully deflect questions about just how i got such scars#actually the one that i think approached muscle is surprisingly close to healed and probably going to scar surprisingly little#the other one is simply too fresh still to know how it'll scar#should've taken progress pictures to monitor healing but was too scared others would accidentally see it#didn't want to traumatise folks#honestly was genuinely tempted to take one (1) photo of the more recent one and post on my secret sh tumblr but i talked myself out of that#anyway im fine#personal#puddleglum hours#yesterday dad hugged me and patted my arm and it was LITERALLY directly on top of the fresher one but i was able to Not flinch#fun fact: when you go that deep it is in fact Less painful than a few layers shallower#which i found to my own concern the first time and was freaking out thinking id done something nerve-related#anyway yes i really am fine prommy#fessed up to my doc about self harming anyway#and technically unless muscle is involved it is clinically described as superficial#(fat layer is the one where they will nearly always consider sutures necessary but some shallower will be dependent on how much they gape)#but also because of how much blood there is every time you kinda have to spend longer making sure you're not gonna bleed all over everythin#so that also stops me bc oh it's nearly midnight i cannot devote like two hours or three to making sure i don't wake up in a puddle of bloo#(hyperbole)#anyway in some ways i find this funny. probably should be vaguely concerned. but eh
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OK I swear the reason I'm showing you this will have context in a couple days! But also, the fact B&N has a section dedicated to "well he may be a ten buuuuut" and included my current crime of "he's blonde" is like. Dang. Called out.
Didn't help I saw this with a guy and I said "oh no, my blonde enjoyer crimes called out!" and he said "better than redheads" and I'm like. "Sir, I have to inform you of my previous crime." and he was not pleased as he said "Fish... why....."
#moe talks a lot#not art#this will be much more relevant to my art in a couple days but just know#that ive had a field day staring at these and noticing unintentional bullshit#such as ! note how they are all kinda average writing size OR p big except for the tail one#which is kinda small and i feel like the person who wrote it is like this is the opposite of a '10 but -' ... thats a plus...#but then you also have all of them starting off lower case EXCEPT He's a man-child#oh absolutely gotta cater to the man-childs esteem and capitalize that one#this might be incredibly funny to me but i am not letting it be rebloggable im so sorry#also i like how he calls me fish in public bc despite having known me since 4th grade#he got in the habit during our ffxiv days during skype calls with someone in another state#so instead of using my in game name of Tuna vs my actual skype name Salmon#hes like fuck it we ball with just Fish#so i am fish to him and it carries over irl when we hang out which is rare but still#this is the same guy who was on the phone with his wife while we were wandering around and he just#watches me walk off with a very serious determination and i hear him say#hold on babe fish just walked over to a makeup store and is staring#so he walks over and asks me whats up and i point to a shelf and say dude#and he looks where im pointing and asks his wife#hey honey do you want main character energy? fish found some lipstick for that#and i hear her over the phone saying what very flatly#and he had to explain that there was a shelf advertising main character energy in sephora#his wife said no which is fair (they were also closed lol)#also the same guy i beat up on accident who lied to his football coach about why he had such fucked up shins#bc he knew his coach liked me as a very kind and quiet and obedient student#and my buddy was like i cant tell him you kicked me so much i bled...#and i just ????????????? hey what you never mentioned bleeding to me? dude? you KEPT MAKING SHORT JOKES#KNOWING ID KICK YOU IN THE SHINS? you never thought to say maybe stop that or maybe just stop picking on me#anyway yeah this guy and i have been through some weird times and most of them are my fault
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if you ever think I’m exaggerating how much I cry at the end of Gladiator every time I see it, just know that I used up two washcloths last night during the fifteen minutes it took me to get my composure after the movie ended
#i spend three hours with my beloved and then i have to watch him die 🥺#it’s a gut punch every time#my beautiful beautiful wonderful man#there will never be another like him#last night i was rewatching gladiator and somehow it pulled me in even more than usual#it was like i was seeing some scenes over again for the first time#maximus makes me sob every time#the way he mourns his family through the whole movie just. guts me#his quiet sorrow and grief and agony#and they sheer skill of his fighting abilities#loved watching him just demolish all his enemies honestly#the battle the gladiator matches the final duel everything#the final duel is everything to me because it’s so short#i love that they didn’t drag it out to make it more dramatic#even when maximus is wounded he’s still the expert fighter and commodus never had a chance#maximus is literally bleeding to death and gasping for air and also just. throwing commodus around like a rag doll#my man is STRONG. he’s so determined#i spent the whole movie just yearning to gather him up in my arms#i want to hold him so much i just#i want to comfort and treasure and adore him#sometimes i wonder if i’ll ever be able to get through gladiator without sobbing#like if maximus will ever become less dear to me#and so far the answer is never in a thousand years#how could i ever stop loving the only good man?? the best and greatest man???#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe#text posts
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I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂
#one of the groups on campus is hosting movie nights & I went to this one bc I've only ever watched pac rim on my laptop and wanted to watch#it on a larger screen. yay yippee I love this movie!#there r maybe 10-ish of us in this room and a three person friend group is sitting on the couch one of whom has seen the movie and two who#have not. okay so far so normal.#and then the movie starts and they won't! stop! fucking! commentating! the whole fucking movie!!! I don't have a problem with doing that#when I'm in just my friend group because I know that I can tell my friend to stop talking or pause the movie or whatnot but not when I'm in#a large group w people I'm not good friends with ffs#and the comments aren't even funny or anything they're all oh this is JUST like in iron widow!! oh they're SO gay and autistic!!! and#they're talking so loud about this that it completely drowns out the movie audio which has already been turned up a few times#like. be considerate!! some of us want to yknow actually listen to what's going on and not whatever bullshit you're saying#I nearly walked out three or four times before I actually wound up doing so#I may have been a bit of a bitch at the end but I don't care. I got up to leave because this was not an enjoyable environment and one of#them offered to turn the movie down if it was too loud. this caught me a bit off guard since I expected them to still be so wrapped up in#their convo and. well. I may have said 'it's not the movie that's too loud' before closing the door#this also reminds me a lot about my issues with online shipping culture and it bleeding through into how we interact with media irl#this is probably heavily influenced by my aromanticism but I'm so sick of people constantly reading romantic relationships into everything#AND placing more importance on those relationships than any other form. I don't mind romance in media. I think if done right it has great#emotional impact on a story but when a movie is running and when other people who may not want to hear it are in the room watching it too#is not the time to be loudly saying 'he's autistic!' 'they're in love!' 'she has a crush on him!'#I have my own interpretations of the movie some of which agree with what they said and some of which don't but that's beside the point of#knowing how to coexist politely in public#anyway. I think they were awful and annoying and they ruined my night out.#I think I'm just so incredibly mad about this because I love the movie and I was looking forward to watching it in a group of people who#found it cool as well while still having some modicum of politeness#I almost wish I had been meaner but that's the extreme annoyance talking I think#hater hour over love u guys bye
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domestic destiel with baby jack except that dean wants to kill himself the entire time because he feels like he’s trapped and can’t keep going through these motions that he doesn’t feel
#<3 i can make this work. i can make this interesting for me.#jack is also not actually baby he’s just shaped like that. he is also suffering and hates it#cas would be having a nice time except that no one else is and even if he doesnt know because theyre lying the vibes are rancid and bleeding#into him#sam is having a bad time too because dean is pushing him out of the picture to better fit the ideal of married life#even if all he’d rather do is live with his brother and chill and run the bunker#keeps saying ‘sam when are you going to marry eileen?’ wedding ring on his finger from when he dragged his vows from his throat for cas to#be happy. (sam broke up with eileen months ago. he just wants his brother back. he wants his best friend back. he wants to stop sitting on#the outside of their family. he wants to see his son as his son and not when he’s pretending to be a child.)#this is going to explode so horribly for everyone <3#personally i think jack should finally lose it from how he has to play at being so much smaller and less than he is#and burn their fucking house down and run away to sam. and then dean and cas can divorce over the ashes#and then. maybe. they can move forward into a life they can be happy in. not one they force themselves to fit#spn#dean winchester#castiel spn#jack kline#aro!dean#tw suicide
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is it gay to be so overwhelmed with emotions by thinking about someone you care about so much you almost want to pick up writing again
#- but also it’s night time and you can’t fall asleep even though you need to get up early#and you’re just stuck imagining the lines you want written down#so your only options are to do it now while they’re still there#or not and then forget all of them in the morning and cry#hi i’m the gay one help i haven’t been in this state in a while#i’m just in that state again somehow i guess#probably because i never got a chance to tell this person how something so small for them meant a world to me in that moment#i hope i’ll be able to tell you all that myself in a more direction way but i love you so much you mean the world to me#okay i don’t actually want to scare you off by saying that but knowing what my mind is imagining for this you’d think that yourself anyway#i should probably stop taking now it’s way too late and i’m being tooooo emotionally vulnerable rn#hi guys sleepy night time frab here i’m the (other) emotion + vulnerable one#don’t you love to see it#i wonder if anyone is still down here reading these tags#hi if you are! send aaaa hmmm send a little ‘£; e’ if you read to this point#also why r u still reading? weirdoooo /jk love you#but really don’t be down here too long i’m sorta bleeding all my feelings out right now#because i’m so bad at expressing myself directly and as soon as i want to#ugh i’ll leave now i’m lonely and talking to myself too much again#night night everpony#frabrant#wonder if i’ll write more again… ok i’m LEVAING now gah
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day 3 no ibuprofen i am suffering
#surgeon is making me stop ibuprofen for 4 weeks XD 2 wks before and 2 wks after surgery#i think ive complained abt it on here already like i understand it is because it can mess with bleeding but oh my god#naturally. i am having a flare up of joint pain :) and a migraine that makes it feel like im being shot in the head#m whole body hurts like it wants me to die#im still allowed to take tylenol but all tylenol does is make me feel sick ueeuueueeueu it doesnt help my pain at all becaause so much of i#is from inflammation#top surgery will improve my life so so so much but it is going to be hellish trynig to slog through my fucking chronic pain disorder#also i <3 my surgeon and her team but during my preop i repeated (was already meant to be in my file but wasn't) how much ibuprofen i take#and the medical assistant literally GASPED and said WOW. THATS A LOT! and started lauughing and im like yayyyyy wow i had noooooo idea ive#been taking unhealthy amounts of it jsut for shits n gigs!#like do you think im dealing witht he drawbacks of taking 800-2400 mgs of ibuprofen daily for FUN? you think i wouldnt give anyhting to not#have to take it????#anyways rant over sorry karl i know ur the only one reading this#maybe discodildos i dont really know you but you like my posts from time to time
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it's almost like if i dont let the whole world know about my new hyperfixtation i will burst into flames
#preacher's daughter both family tree songs#how she says in family tree “heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned and baby hell don't scare me i've been times before”#and western nights “i would hold the gun if you asked me to but if you love me like you say you do will you ask me to?”#the whole house in nebraska song UGH#the outro of hard times i am tired of you still tied to me bleeding whenever you want too tired to move to tired to leave#american teenager gracie's cover i love you so so so so much i do it for daddy and i do it for dale i am doing what i want DAMN i am doing#it well#ptolemaea that stop scream i am the face of love's rage blessed be the daughters of cain bound to suffering eternal through sins of their#fathers commited long before their conception that whole outro in general#i tried to be good am i no good? am i no good? am i no good?....i just wanted to be yours? am i yours? am i yours?...if i am turning in you#stomach and making you feel sick am i making you feel sick? am i making you feel sick? am i making you feel sick? is just SO AGH#also god loves you but not enough to save you I FORGIVE IT ALL AS IT COMES BACK TO ME#we know how it goes the more it hurts the less it shows but i feel like they all know and that's why i can never come back home and i spent#my life watching it go by from the sidelines and god i have tried but i think it's about time i put up a fight#and the instrumental songs their production is so so good#anyways yeah now i feel better if anyone is reading till here go listen to it thanks <3#it's great for people with family issues#v.txt
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