#‘if my depression wants be dead its gonna have to kill me itself���
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mushed-kid · 2 months ago
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nin-jay-go · 1 year ago
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LIVEBLOG!!!!!!!
COME ON GUS DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT THE DEAD
aw shit the dragons
awawawawawaw arin's little horns :D
"i love you arin" cuuuute
oh i love how homemade and worn arin's armor looks :)
lloyd is so fucking tired give this man a break
"watering the plants can wait." he says epicly
AMONG US
there is no war in ba sing se :)
PERCIVAL TARTIGRADE!!!!!!!!!
HELLO DR LAROW CAN WE KISS
fucking YIKES beatrix your dictator is showing
"i made it do a thing! i deserve a break ^v^" KAI BUDDY
THESE FUCKING HOTHEADS LMAOOOO
i am! a sneaky man!
wyldfyre i love you so much
yall they're ghosts just splash them with water
YALL. WATER. WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
fuck OFFFFF with that "he created the other realms" bullshit i am cancelling that
oh they just invite frohicky up to the monastery huh
THE ANNUAL SOUP-LAUNCHING FESTIVAL???????
frohicky being the assistant keeper of the monastery could either be the worst decision ever or the best decision ever
oh god the hotheads are together
get cleaned idiot friend: gently sponges you
omg wait there's little swirls in arin's curls!!!! he IS the master of spin :D friend: he does his hair with spinjitzu
they're just playing frisbee
OH DEAR GOD HE BROKE THE SHIP
my friend and i in unison: YOU HAVE SAILS WHY ARE YOU PADDLING lloyd: we have sails us: THANK YOU
IRON LUNG?????????
oh the coral guy from the trailers!
OH THE CRAB. THE GIANT FUCKING CRAB.
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CACKLING
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I AM GOING TO START CRYING!!!!!!!
dey pay me in woims
ok so we were right the crab is controlling the guy
🆑🅰️🅱️
lloyd you are not beating the cat allegations
skulkin look interesting in their new update
i love this guy's voice he sounds funny
SIR WHY DID YOU EAT THE CUP
BRING BACK SNAKE JAGUAR
or. that. that could work. why did he put on the noir coat again
wyldfyre. girl. YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES
i love these lavatides so much oh my god
whoever wrote kai this season nailed it
omg zane's birthday :D
LOBBO LOBBO :D
GULCH!!!! i missed you buddy
ZANE EXPERIENCES A MICROAGGRESSION
INSTALLING WINDOWS
lobbo my love
they gave kai the role of comic relief in lieu of jay being missing
frohicky you are so silly
EYEBALL???
oh boy the jay spirits
....wait. if the spirit of the temple was split in two by the merge... could jay have been split in two?
ZANTH... LIKE XANTHE MY YELLOW NINJA...
oh no nya girl how are you not having a panic attack
this djinn has depression dear god
oh god they're CURSED????
oh the ghosts are djinn banshees that are gonna kill them. great.
nya's gonna have some Thoughts after this
dorama- the elemental master of parlor tricks
"they call it doom" yea its a video game from the 90s
oh the lightning dragon's name is jiro! cool!
effervescent.....
DOOM MUCUS?????
VERTICALITY
COLE'S KIDS!!!! THERE THEY ARE!!!!!
arin voice rapton lives don't matter
alas. i have been. ✨disrespected✨
watch the path be lined with salt crystals
CALLED IT
OH SHIT ITS THE OFFICE WORKERS
BIG ROCK COLE!!!!! HES BACKKKKKKK
ANOTHER FRITZ????? LIKE FRITZ DONNEGAN??????
THE HOARDER??????
cole's boyfriend???? real????? love wins??????
LIKE THE LAND ITSELF IS SCREAMING???? ARE YOU OK?
elemental power of SUPERGLUE
FUSION??????????
dude geo's design is so cool. is he a geckle/munce hybrid or is he a keeper?
bonzle....
oh wyldfyre can just break rocks with her hands huh
SILENT HILL???????????? WHY ARE THE LOST ONES IN FUCKING SILENT HILL
oh geo is a hybrid!
this is a transgender allegory. trust me bro.
oh my god geothermicshipping real
STOP DEADNAMING HER
ALKWGJLKASDKHSKJFDAJH A LITTLE GUY
SWEEPER????????? I WANT 50
there is no heterosexual explanation for them
welcome to the backrooms!
this is an eldritch dimension
this is genuinely horrifying what the fuck
i like how the hotheads were the first to find the core
kai voice hi i have trauma. but i'm normal.
why does the purple serpentine sound like one of the starkid actors
is it jay sending them the messages???? i want him to be a villain so bad pleaseeee
WHY WAS ZANE KIDNAPPED??????? HELLO?????
jay's the manager, calling it now
oh my god we're in the realm of madness??? WE'RE IN THE FUCKING SPIRAL REALM
ADMINISTRATOR IS JAY
why are these computers SO bad
my friend: lloyd garbageadon
OH MY GOD WE'RE IN ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE
CALLED IT
I FUCKING CALLED IT
LKETS FUCKING GO
IM SO SMART
dorama's gotta be an important character later on bc that's a lot of power he has
zane you are so cool
dude don't just leave the core at home thats so stupid
oh ras is from wyldness? not chima?
?????? why is zeatrix 1) named that and 2) what is that power?????
imperium is not immune to propaganda
jiro's a wildclaw :D i know what my next project is
oh my god drew's cole is so good,,,,
my friend: guy who has only been in theater productions: this is giving me a lot of theater vibes
rapton is dead.
oh they're twins. that makes sense
last time there were twins with powers the power split itself in two. what happened here?
beatrix and harumi would get along like a house on fire
GET THEIR ASSES PERCIVAL TARTIGRADE
surprise! the mad scientist has morals! or at least self-preservation
she is still kissable
what if jay is next season's villain? (still has hope)
oh hotheads my beloved
SORA TRANSGENDER
LMAO NYA JUST CALLED BEATRIX MID JKDSFGBKJSKDJFJ
hey nya you wanna tell the others that cole is alive??????
HOTHEADS MY LOVES
rapton domestication arc
ok rapton is really funny actually
oh dear.
THEYRE GLITCHING THEYRE GLITCHING HTEHSAUHAOWHOUHFHAWHODAUWH
NO WYLDFYRE
ARINNNNNN HE LOVES SORAAAAAAAAAA
OH MY GOD THEY ARE STILL ON BEATRIX'S SIDE
every queer kid cries out in agony for sora
theeeere it is! elemental powers :D all her own :D
LOBBO SAFE AND OK ALL IS GOOD
oh!! the conduit!!!!
DRAGON HUGSSSS CUUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE
7 source dragons huh......
oh god ras has a new student
YOUR MASTER?????
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craw-dacious · 1 year ago
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The things I did by Lolo-ro fic review
Chapter by chapter, until i got distracted by the story lol.
Still fairly new to marauders but am loving it.
summary review: I truly adored this fic, probably my fave Wolfstar so far. I thought the worldbuilding was fantastic, as well as the characterization of baby Harry. Fairly angsty, but with plenty of fluff to make up for it. The raising Harry idea is becoming one of my favorite tropes, and this fic did an amazing job of weaving parenthood into a world that is still filled with complexities and evil, as well as lives outside of the main characters.
SPOILERS BELOW BEWARE
Chapter One
Again, the aftermath for Remus is getting me
So so so sad, and him believing Sirius innocent  makes it worse
The traitor shit is horrible to deal with emotionally im sure
I am upset to realize just how much remus ignored harry in the books/canon
Like thats ur nephew fr come onnnn
Chapter Two
Aw he’s doing a good job as a dad
This fic is making him out to be very forgetful, fully forgot about both harry and Sirius
The pacing is much more clear in this which I enjoy quite a bit
Cutesy Christmas, cutesy harry
ALSO I LOVED THE HAGRID MOMENT
I do feel like we need to get the Weasleys involved tbh baby Ron and Harry is PEAK
Chap 3
Pls dont let that annoying ass bitch be important, if theyre in trouble bc of this shit ill kms
Shut up Hagrid he needs everything he wants his parents ARE dead brother
Okay actually I like that annoying ass bitch a lot, this is very good
I guess he actually is spoiling him tbf
Ok so he’s actually forgetful as fuck. Forgot Harry’s birthday, forgot about Sirius AGAIN.
Like actually what is going on is his brain damaged
This chapter has been depressing
The fight IN AZKABAN how will this turn into legit wolfstar if they are so mad they fight WHILE SIRIUS IS IMPRISONED
But also he didn’t talk to a single person for 12 years in canon im gonna kms
Marauders is making me realize just how shitty and sad canon was bruh, remus and Sirius were like ALONE, obvie remus did shit and wasn’t a complete waste but its just so SAD
OKAYYYY I TOLD Y’ALL I LOVE A GOOD MOODY MOMENT
Literally obsessed with alastor moody he’s so fucking cool and we BARELY KNEW HIM in the books because of FUCKING CROUCH
This chapter was incredible, good baby harry, good angst, good FIGHT (love romantic arguments, make me nostalgic) (imy [REDACTED] we fought so cutey)
Ok I think I complained earlier about this, but it’s important for there to be conflict and issues when there’s this much trauma. Great plot choice. Also makes it 20x more interesting
Fuck Peter. I fucking hate Peter.
Chapter 4
Ugh stupid muggles messing everything up
Someone should try to kill them all off or something idk they’re getting in the way
But this is shaping up to have some LEGAL ISSUES which I LOVE because im a fucking NERD <33333
Harry is so cute. I actually prefer this to the last baby Harry bc he has sm more personality.
Almost forgot the meat of this chapter omg its good im getting distracted
Sirius and Harry together was a NEED bruh actually so cute
And I talked to you kate about this earlier but remus has been different in other fics and I do kinda like him in this one, he’s more depressed and stressed than normal, but the forgetfulness almost lends itself to aloofness in a way that fits him
I very much appreciated him being so kind to Sirius. While I understand him being pissed at him for thinking he’s a traitor, the man is in Azkaban, like you’ve got to chill out, talk to him about this stuff when you have more than 15 minutes and less dementors
Anyway that scene was nice, I like the idea of their little family
Chappy 5
Good shit again
THIS is the perfect chapter length, not so long I forget what happens but no so short I have to stop reading every five seconds to review
The werewolf prejudice is a big thing in this fic, im not sure how I feel about it. Obviously from an equality standpoint, werewolves should be seen as human. Yet, there is something to the idea that the actual transformed wolf is very dangerous. I’m worried the wolfsbane study will be viewed as Remus “hiding himself” or something like that, when it should be viewed as a solution to the one thing holding werewolves back.
This can’t be compared to real life discrimination. You can’t be like “so you hate minorities” because none of the minorities I know turn into wolves once a month bruh
Anyway, Dumbledore being morally grey-ish, making mistakes but always anti-voldy. He’s such an interesting character. I like his presence in the book as well. Hagrid should come back soon he’s so nice.
Chap 6
Permanent pass <3, so cute. Having to abandon muggle friends? Not cute. Fuck Dumbledore, but only like a little
Not a dumby stan or hater tbh hes just a little silly in both directions
I’m so conflicted on this situation. Yes, it SUCKS that Sirius thought remus was the spy, but it’s not necessarily damning. It’s likely he convinced himself of it because it was the most painful option so it must’ve been the truth. It seems like fear, almost, and jealousy of the wolves over him? Might be over analyzing and overomanticizing but that is what im seeing atm.
The teaching position goes fucking CRAZY man, If remus was my history teacher my life would be GOLDEN
Do you think remus lupin would be a good addition to upper H hall yes or no
Chapter 7
Jesus fuck I forget how sad all this shit is sometimes
To begin with, the teaching position seems great. I do wish Remus would understand that he’s qualified for it
Speaking of teachers, I would love to see who the DADA teacher is, I know its not permanent but still fun
Anyway, I think 7 kids would be the end of me. I love children, and I still relate to Remus far more than Arthur in that scene, there’s actually no fucking way.
Like yes give me a shot I cannot do it, the strong drink joke was a good cover because I am sure its Arthurs greatest desire
Also, love him just dropping interest about muggles, would love to see that chat actually play out but it seems unimportant
But maybe it’ll be how he catches worm tail …
Azkaban visit was good, Sirius is being less racist, and Remus is being kind. Wish they would love each other again already but slow burn wins <3
Also you could just tell that Sirius missed harry, very cute
Chapter 8
Heart hurts, poor Sirius 
I said that remus should be nicer
Chapter 9
Okay, information has been gained
Sorry for short 8 summary
So Sirius FORGOT that he and remus broke up, which is CRAZY
There’s a whole lot of forgetting in this fic im realizing, very relatable
I would actually kill myself
I’m sitting here pondering how I would react in this situation and genuinely tweaking just imagining it
He needs to go break it off with him, he can explain, there’s not really another option for him. If he maintains this it’s going to end poorly. I’m assuming he’s going to do that anyway, as it creates the most drama and is fantastic for the plot
I do think Remus is underestimating the importance of being taken even somewhat seriously by the Wizengamot. I know it’s not what he fully wanted but it’s legitimate progress.
Chapter ten
WHAT DID I SAY HE’S NOT GONNA TELL HIM
This chapter INFURIATED ME
Also im gonna start skipping chapters bc otherwise the review will be long asf
Snape is a piece of work, obviously. Like Remus isn’t being shitty to you and you were a fucking death eater man. Also he despises children which is a red fucking flag
Just let him pet your stupid cat motherfucker
Unless its secretly regulus as an animagus that would be sick asf I saw fan art the other day where he was a cat and it was good
Moving on, im appreciating the slow burn on discovering Peter. Like they easily could have discovered him 3 chapters ago when remus was first there. 
Chapter 11 & 12
The enchanted parchment
Leaving him on delivered is crazy actually
Literally reads exactly like the GHP texts between me and [REDACTED] LMAO
“I guess I’ll talk to you later, assuming you’re at soccer, imy!!”
Actually devastated reading this im going to be honest
Lots of shit going down, forgetting and memory issues are such an interesting plot device, it makes any part of the story unreliable, and confuses the reader just a little bit. It also creates a lot of dramatic irony, which can often be very sad and tragic
Also, order members calling voldy “Voldemort” all high and mighty is a bit strange considering that they all chewed harry out about calling him “He Who Shall Not be Named”
Snape stole the parchment read it and slipped a potion into lupins chocolate that he would give to Sirius to sabotage their relationship
Bc Dumbledore told Snape everything as his extra special spy obviously
Ok so I was wrong it was dementors again. And remus told Sirius about the breakup. Which is, the right thing to do I guess
This is so hard for everybody man, Sirius’ perspective is heartbreaking
At least it shows his chats with dumby, who happens to be the funniest person in this fic
Chapters 13 & 14
Reconciliation came a bit too easily but thats alright, I want them to be happy
The amount I would give to receive a cat for Christmas. I want that so bad bruh.
Ok at least they’re acknowledging how bad Remus is with dates
Okay him being a dog seems helpful, I do feel like that should have been noticed a while ago
Honestly am feeling a bit lost in the romance, long distance pining is not my fave but hopefully Sirius will be freed before long and they can be happy for once.
I just am so curious as to why they broke up, I know thats the point but it just doesn’t make sense
Also ignore my random theories I keep throwing about, I dont actually believe snapes cat is regulus or that Snape poisoned Sirius its just fun
Chapters 15-16
They explained the plan so I know it will go horribly wrong
HELL FUCKING YEAH THEY GOT HIM THAT SNEAKY LITTLE CUNT HATE THAT MOTHERFUCKER FUCK PETER I HATE PETER
Still not happy. I dont know what I expected
2 chapters and they’ll kiss, im expecting a huge fight in chapter 17
Chapters 17-20
Ok this is strange. The relationship dynamic has developed very differently than I thought it would. They really need to figure out this memory I’m sure it all a misunderstanding or some stupid shit like that
Someone thought someone else killed somebody else
Also why is this so mirroring to me and [REDACTED] from like July forward
Distant over text/parchment, not allowed to say I love you, basically only physical, guilt for things I couldn’t remember
Except for the baby and trauma and everything
Last fic was me and remus being the same this time it’s Sirius. When am I going to consume content and not think about [REDACTED] again Im tired of him being in my brain
Chap 21-22
KATE I TOLD YOU NO I LOVE YOU FICS I HATE THIS
I also talked about [redacted] with ppl for like an hour and a half last night it was terrible
Did it again the next night bro why is that rat still in my head
23-24
The memories are throwing me for a loop. On the one hand, everything is devastatingly sad. On the other hand, they’re all being emo and need to get it together
Sirius getting “lost in his memories” is a cool idea though, I’m liking the new magic thats being explored in this fic
I need them to have a huge blowup fight. Like a massive fight that sucks and is terrible. I don’t know how they’d do it but I need it
Also I think I can take one more “oh poor Sirius” memory until I blow my brains out. Big whoop your plan failed and you were insecure about it, I’d reach out to the closest person to blame to. I blamed [REDACTED] for not winning an award at model un, not his fault. Sirius can blame Remus for his plan failing and have a moody moment then move on, trust can be rebuilt.
Last five chapters
Ok everything is happy again and the reunion went FANTASTIC
The one thing I feel like I haven’t commented on enough in this fic is Snape
His character is well done, he’s so mean and bitchy but not like completely evil which is just hilarious, I love his and Remus’s dynamic its very good
I also think his relationship with Harry is funny, and I’m glad it’s not as shitty as it started out.
“Harry, friendly and bright-eyed, took the opportunity of silence to lean onto the counter, put his face right up to the goblin’s, and say, “Meow.”
Remus pulled Harry off the counter, embarrassed, and plopped him on the ground. “Don’t meow at people, love.”
That is actually the silliest cutest thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. Literally would birth a child rn bc of how cute that is. Jesus fucking christ bruh
Can they stop making out in public. Like in front of one other person in public. Its so awk
I KEEP TRYING TO GIVE KUDOS THIS IS LIKE SUGAR BRUH SO SWEET
My criticisms are growing though, there are a few things im concerned about but im gonna finish the story before I discuss
Why can I not escape my Draco phase. One sentence about “the little Malfoy” and harry going on playdates and I RUSH to think about how that changes their school dynamic and how they treat each other and all this shit
Looks like they’re leaving some loose ends on purpose, telling not showing a lot here at the end tbh
I WANT A CHILD HE’S SO CUTE
This is the first time ive actually been obsessed with a child character hes ADORABLE
Gonna read the epilogue before writing my final review, but don’t want to take it in for my review
FINAL REVIEW:
Ok. Done. Having to write this a day after finishing because I fell asleep right after
My favorite parts
ANGST: very well done, miscommunication can sometimes be overdone but I feel like it worked this time. I loved how easily apparent the love that was still there was. 
Humor: This fic made me laugh out loud multiple times. This was mostly Harry, but there were a couple of moments from the doctor guy and Arthur that made me giggle
CHILD: literally have never seen a child portrayal that was this good. Like literally from beginning to end it was good. I’m sure some people would read this fic and say 2 yo harry is too advanced, but he’s so bright and I feel like growing up with Remus would breed him to be a talker. The accuracy of the 8 yo and 11 yo at the end was good as well, it ticks me off when people fuck up ages of a child, especially one so parenting-focused as this
Depth of world building: I could truly see this world, like I understood the flat, I understood the weasleys, I understood the dorm at Hogwarts. The scene at their graves, everything was great.
Now my weaknesses
Some underdeveloped plots
Peter: they brought up having to talk to him, made it a big deal with getting a memory and then just abandoned it and said “remus had the perfect memory.” Then, the memory was SO MUNDANE. I’m sure the author just fucked up and had to figure something out, which is fine, just was a little dissapointing.
Poison: this is another where I think the plot just ran away from the author, but I was expecting something more than “Sirius asked them to fix it and they did”
Some(?) characterizations
Remus was perfect. Sirius was a little too nice, he’s volatile and little bitt crazy and I got less of that in this fic. Sometimes it was perfect. This isn’t really a criticism, more “it could be a little better”
Overall: 8.3/10
I truly adored this fic, probably my fave wolfstar so far. However, I know this is just because I love children and loved baby harry so much, so my rating is attempting to be unbiased.
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aibari · 2 years ago
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fic poetics: open up your door
for the bind of open up your door, I ended up making a little reference list with things I didn’t have the time or space to write into the author’s notes. I love liner notes! since the bind is only a physical copy, I wanted to put these up online somewhere.
references (alphabetical)
adrian. I think I gave Adrian the teenager the name because it starts with an A and I tend to start at the top of the alphabet and then not get farther when naming characters. I only remembered Adrian Mellon afterwards.
Teen Adrian is a trans guy – this was originally going to be more present in the story itself, but in the end I didn’t have enough words to really do it justice, so it’s just kind of a background thing about Adrian. I’m not sure if Richie realizes or not, beyond clocking him as lgbt in some way. In the future, they definitely have some sort of Conversation about it (and being queer in Derry). And then uhhh probably Richie and Eddie semi-adopt him, and any other queer kid in Derry they can find.
Anyway, I forgot about Adrian Mellon, and then suddenly I had a character who was not just a trans kid in Derry, a small town that has soaked in hate and small-mindedness since before its inception (up until ten years ago!), but also a kid who picked out his own name and he chose a name he shares with Adrian Mellon, a gay man who was killed a decade ago in the town where teen Adrian lives. And uh! That’s a lot! That is very very much of a something!
Initially, I thought about changing it.
But Derry (like a lot of places) is a town where, even ten years down the line, things aren’t always easy for queer kids. And somehow accidentally giving this kid the name Adrian became instrumental to his characterization for me – he’s taking this and making it his own, and fuck anyone who has a problem with it. (And if it’s sometimes harder to keep up that front than other times, well. He’s got some people to lean on. With Richie and Eddie, maybe soon he’ll have more.)
 brave as a noun. This is a title of an AJJ song – and like much of their work, the lyrics are violent and visceral. Their work generally circles around themes of mental illness, poverty, politics, and THE BODY OF IT ALL. Something about Brave as a Noun (like their later Body Terror Song) just reads very Eddie Kaspbrak to me:
I could go off the deep end I could kill all my best friends I could follow those stylish trends And God knows I could make amends But I've got an angry heart Filled with cancers and poppy tarts If this is how you folks make art it's fucking depressing And it's sad to know that we are not alone And it's sad to know that there's no honest way out I'm afraid to leave the house I'm as timid as a mouse I'm afraid if I go out I'll outwear my welcome I'm not a courageous man I don't have any big lasting plans I'm too cowardly to take a stand I want to keep my nose clean And it's sad to know that we're not alone in this And it's sad to know that there's no honest way out In this life we lead We could conquer everything If we could just get the brave to get out of bed in the morning
But also, that title is just too good to pass up.
 beaker’s dozen. This fake movie title was one of several suggested to me by @stravaganza on the Losers Club Bang server. Is it an Ocean’s Eleven rehash where all the players are anthropomorphized elements of the periodic table? Is it a comedy about a scientist who accidentally clones themself? You decide!
Other title suggestions include: Mind the Gap, Deer Me!, The Way There, Beeswax, and Baker’s Dozen.
 cups. This section title comes from a couple of different associations – Eddie is literally leaving cups around the place, but there’s also the Cups song (“you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone”). I was thinking a lot about the thing where you pour one out for the dead, too, but what actually happens here is a bit of an inversion of that – the dead pouring one in(to your cup). Anyway - what’s love if it isn’t making cups of something warm for someone you care about?
 derry air. So Londonderry Air is a really famous Irish piece of music that (among other things) has given the melody to songs like Danny Boy.
That’s not air as in oxygen, by the way – it’s air as in “songlike vocal or instrumental composition”. Also spelled ayre, or aria if you’re speaking Italian. (An aria in English is typically a vocal composition of the kind you’re most likely to find in an opera – La donna è mobile is a kind of clichéd example.)
Anyway, (London)derry Air and Danny Boy! I thought sneaking in the reference would be funny for wordplay reasons, and Danny Boy is overwrought and overdone to the point where it is a little bit hard for me to take it seriously. As it turns out, though, the lyrics work well with this idea of the interlinking of death and place:
Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling From glen to glen, and down the mountain side. The summer's gone, and all the roses falling, It's you, it's you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow, Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow, It's I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow, Oh, Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so!
But when ye come, and all the flowers are dying, If I am dead, as dead I well may be, You'll come and find the place where I am lying, And kneel and say an Ave there for me. And I shall hear, though soft you tread above me, And all my grave will warmer, sweeter be, For you will bend and tell me that you love me, And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me!
 don’t you (forget about me). So I wrote two reverse bangs this year and both of them have the title of this song in them! It was released by Simple Minds in 1985 and plays over the iconic ending of The Breakfast Club, which was released the same year. I’m not personally huge on The Breakfast Club, but I DO think it makes a good combo with IT – these are 1980s misfits who come together and become friends despite the odds (of their social roles in TBC, and of Derry and Pennywise in IT). IT was published in 1986, so they’re originally products of the same time, too.
 ghost. Depending on the story, a ghost can be a lot of different things. Grief given physical form, a memory walking; unfinished business; wrath and vengeance animating a walking curse; rot; love; love (rotting); a person held together by connections to their loved ones; time out of joint and in the wrong place.
Eddie’s path back to being is love and care and connection, obviously, but the occasional vagueness of being is also very much an accidental long covid/fatigue illness metaphor. I had long covid fatigue for what felt like forever in the spring of 2022, and it’s just a really ghostly existence – like you are periodically slipping in and out of time and space. I kept feeling like I didn’t all the way exist, and I (kind of unintentionally) put a lot of that into Eddie when I wrote this. Ultimately, I think it works.
 good bones. “Good Bones” is a poem by Maggie Smith that has done a couple of rounds on tumblr at this point:
Life is short, though I keep this from my children.
Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine
in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways,
a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways
I’ll keep from my children. The world is at least
fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative
estimate, though I keep this from my children.
For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird.
For every loved child, a child broken, bagged,
sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world
is at least half terrible, and for every kind
stranger, there is one who would break you,
though I keep this from my children. I am trying
to sell them the world. Any decent realtor,
walking you through a real shithole, chirps on
about good bones: This place could be beautiful,
right? You could make this place beautiful.
From Waxwing, 2016
 forget-me-not. Its scientific name, myosotis, comes from the Ancient Greek word for “mouse’s ear”. (This is the second time I have come across a scientific term that means “mouse” used for something that is definitely, absolutely not a mouse – the first is muscle, which comes from the Latin musculus, and means “little mouse”. Wild!) It’s a family! There are so many different types of forget-me-nots! For the sake of this story, though, it’s the emotional (and straightforward) theme of holding on to a loved one and not forgetting them that tied in too neatly with the idea of Richie being haunted by ghost Eddie for me not to make a big deal out of it. The vase of flowers in the picture really ended up unlocking the entire story for me a lot more than I had expected!
if you see something, say nothing (and drink to forget). A classic Welcome to Nightvale quote that is also, I think, a very in character sentiment for Richie.
inspirations, fanfic. This fic takes some inspiration from a Losers Club Big Bang fic from 2021, Nothing Dies in Derry (art by Cordlesshamilton, words by glorious_spoon), and the (as of now still unfinished) SMAU One Ring to Bind Us (@richiesring) – both stories about ghost Eddie (and Stan) trying to communicate with Richie (and Patty) through whatever means will work for them.
modern odyssey, the. Being gone for a very long time and coming back to the person you love (though Richie has less suitors in this one).
not exactly casper. He’s a bit too rude to be Casper, I think.
r+e. I just really wanted to get this in here somehow.
real/not real. So in Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games, this is a thing Katniss and Peeta do after Peeta’s (spoiler??) been thoroughly and relentlessly brainwashed, and struggles to keep hold of what’s real and what isn’t in the aftermath. This section title is a reference to that. For this fic, I guess what I want to pull in here is that there is something about a ghost that is also very malleable and ephemeral – a ghost is real and not real, in a sense, at the same time. Eddie’s occupying both positions at the same time, sometimes more on one side than the other.
section titles; capitalisation. I just love the idea of someone else’s point of view slowly breaking through, even if it doesn’t translate to the main parts of the text. The section titles in capital letters reflect Richie’s state of mind – often through referencing other things – and the ones that aren’t reflect Eddie’s. Well, mostly. I don’t think I’m a hundred percent consistent, but it’s fun to play around with.
there was a hole here. it’s gone now. A reference to a line that shows up in Silent Hill 2. The way it’s written out there is a bit more unsettling: “There was a HOLE here. It’s gone now.”
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rezdragon · 1 year ago
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Okay, let's talk about Hurt.
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Normally I save these "Deep Dives" for Patreon, but I think I'm gonna stop doing that. This was one I even said I would share on Patreon back in 2022 and just never did (I'm very bad about this).
This video doesn't appear like it would be anything significant, especially compared to the stuff I would make later that year, but this video is actually very important to me.
Nine Inch Nails' Hurt was a song I actually said I would never make a video out of, I didn't feel like there was anything else I could add to it. Then August 20th happened.
I won't get into what specifically happened on August 20th, but it was the moment that broke me for good. August of 2021 was, and still is to date, the second most traumatic time of my life (the first being Fall of 2010 because I still can't fucking talk about that without shaking). I spent most of 2021 in denial, and August 20th of 2021 is where I finally snapped and plunged into depths I hadn't known for 6 years.
From 2013 to 2015, I struggled with suicidal thoughts to dangerous degrees, especially in 2015. 2015 is the one and only time I truly attempted suicide via gassing myself out in the garage. I was in bad shape, and there didn't appear to be any end in sight.
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I got better in 2016. I had friends, medication, and support. Come 2019 though, I had to stop taking my medication because it almost killed me (literally). I've been unmedicated since, and I spent 2019 and 2020 trying to figure out what I wanted to do to fill the void in my soul. At the beginning of 2021, I realized I wanted to return to art, so I did. I thought everything was fine. I was in better shape than 2015, I could return to art and handle new things. I got back into Smash Machinima, gave myself a new name (RezDragon), and got involved in the community.
And that all exploded in my face in August of 2021. I spent about two weeks in denial that I was hurt. I toughed through it, I was fine, nothing was wrong, I was stronger than I was before.
And then August 20th happened and I cracked harder than I ever have in a long time. I hadn't had a crack like this since 2012. I shut down completely. I was filled with so much fucking depression, I felt like a black hole collapsing on itself. In this moment, a voice in my head then said: "Play Hurt." so I did.
And I just burst into a sobbing mess on my desk.
I went dark for two hours. My friends kept trying to call me, worried since I suddenly disappeared. GSlayer called me 8 times. I went into Vegas and poured all of this pain into the video Hurt, but it was also extremely difficult for me to make. It's why its so stripped down. Even when I made custom frames for it:
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This was all I could muster.
Hurt represents a break. It represents me truly returning to form, that form being the depressed person of the group. My mental health tanked so badly after this day.
I felt so hurt to be turned away. I hurt the people close to me. I hurt strangers, I hurt anyone near me, and my enemies wanted me dead and they almost succeeded in killing me.
And yet, I still live.
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quetzalpapalotl · 2 years ago
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Howd you rank your liking of Megop thru the continuities?
Before I get to that, let me just sat that the idea of megop in itself does a lot or me, so I'm probably gonna be into any megop as long as it vagely follows the standard TF pattern. The inherent intimacy of being archnemesis, being each other's equal match, only being able to stand on equal footing with the enemy leader, the respect among fellow warriors, blurring the lines of what romance even means, the grandiosity of it all.
So, the actual ranking after tfp and idw is not something set in stone or anything, my answer may have been different on another day. Only includes things I've watched/read, which aren't that many:
1.- IDW1 and TFP: You cannot make me choose between these two. IDW1 is, of course, my favorite continuity, and even tho the megop is not as strong in some parts, it still has all the elements I like. The fact that they know and understand each other so well despite never being friends. Megatron lives to fight, he needs a dance partner. Optimus has spent his entire life chasing after Megatron one way or another, Megatron made him who he is. Their paths mirror each other even when they're in separate series altogeher. Megatron doesn't hate Optimus. Look at Chaos Theory! That thing is one step from being a megop bdsm fic! Lots of things to say here, but we need to move on.
Now on the other hand we have TFP, that's the classic, the blueprint, my-nemesis-comic.jpg. If I had to guess, I'd say there was a before and after TFP in fandom regarding megop, but I have no idea actually, so don't quote me on that. Still, that show is insane, Megatron basically flirts with Optimus every time they're on screen, having Megatron back is the one thing Optimus wants for himself and he gives up even that. It has all the breakup drama! Except for Megatron, they might as well not have broken up, but the nature of their relationship changed. Battling Optimus is his favorite thing in the world. The show really does give the impression that these two are on a world of their own. And while I usually like to disregard most of the Aligned side materials on my reading of tfp, those megop bits of Exodus really are something, huh.
2.- IDW2 they were friends, now they're destined to fight each other for the next million years. They're not as intense as tfp but damn, Megatron might as well be telling Optimus he wants him chained in his bed.
3.- Cyberverse: Same thing but goofier. Megatron literally didn't win the war because he was too gay to kill Optimus and then died in his arms. Amazing. (He's not dead he's in the hospital).
4.- Sunbow Cartoon/General G1 concept: It's simple and straightforward, you can project onto it the things I like about megop and because it's G1 it's very malleable. You can take it in all kinds of directions! Always love to see what fandom does with it.
4.5.- Shattered Glass: same thing but in reverse and evil Optimus is hot. That's it.
5.- Prime Wars: It's G1, but they're old, tired and retired. They should meet and beat each other up like old times. And the whole sequence of Optimus firing Megatron? 10/10
6.- Netflix' War for Cybertron: this couls have been so good, except the show was pretty bad at properly explaining its backstory. Still, a girl takes what she can get and those scenes in season 2 are juicy. But I tempted to put this higher in the list because WFC gave me on of the best takes on megop NEMESIS/GALVATRON. Evil angst boyfriends!! They are in this situation because they were both idiots, Megatron finally got to kill Optimus and ended his last moments as himself regreting not working with him. Now they are together again. It took being enslaved by Unicron for them to get along again, but they have each other now, they have nothing but each other, not even who they used to be. It's depressing, it's great. I'm gonna have to be the change I want to see and write something about them because I'm obsessed.
7.- TFA: I used to enjoy it more, but I've fallen out of love for it. Lacks a lot of the elements I like about most megop, but there's appeal in Optimus catching the eye of this almost-mythological terror because he managed to beat him. Most of the content for it is not really to my taste, tho, but House Divided is my favorite take on it.
8.- Beast Wars: It's okay. It's not a bad ship or anything, but it doesn't really awaken anything in me. They hate each other, sure, but not in a gay way, more in the way you hate a mosquito. And then, as far as hatemances go, Rampage and Depth Charge show up to completely.
Mmm that should be it, unless I'm forgetting something. I have still read fic for other megops and I must say the whole Protector/Prime concept really appeals to me, but afaik it doesn't show up in the movies and I'm not interested in watching them regardless.
I'm eagerly awaiting Earthspark, not to have hope, but I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind.
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its-all-ineffable · 2 years ago
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Anti-hero {Lestat series}
A 13-part series, where every fic is inspired by a lyric from the Taylor Swift song 'Anti-hero'. All these fics are primarily Lestat-centric or from his POV, but most of them feature a healthy heap of Louis and/or Loustat as well!
{Part 1} Midnights become my afternoons Summary: Lestat becomes a creature of the night, and laments the loss of entertainment. Luckily, he finds that nightlife may not be so bad, particularly with companions. For a while.
{Part 2} I'm a monster on the hill Summary: Lestat finds a reason to stay in New Orleans – a beautiful, enchanting reason. Following the mysterious man he sees pull a knife on his own brother to a lavish saloon, Lestat ponders on his newest infatuation.
{Part 3} I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser Summary: Lestat wonders at the similarity between his first and current loves while trying to cope with the first of Louis' major depressive episodes. Sometimes, it feels like history's repeating itself.
{Part 4} I wake up screaming from dreaming, One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving, ‘Cause you got tired of my scheming, For the last time Summary: Lestat wakes from a nightmare of Louis leaving him, and tries to deal with it alone. Louis doesn’t let this happen.
{Part 5} I wake up screaming from dreaming, One day I'll watch as you're leaving, And life will lose all its meaning, For the last time. Summary: Lestat pushes, and Louis snaps. Tensions reach their breaking point. And Lestat, as always, ends up alone. He always ends up alone. “It’s why you’re always gonna be alone.”
{Part 6} Did you hear my covert narcissism, I might disguise as altruism Summary: Lestat reflects on why he really turned Claudia, and realises it wasn’t for Louis. It was for himself.
{Part 7} I should not be left to my own devices…, I end up in crises Summary: Louis falls into a deep depression after Claudia leaves. Lestat flounders over what to do, and years pass by as the two lovers fight and ignore and cheat, and then…nothing. Louis has nothing. Lestat muses on why – it is his fault, he knows. But it never is his fault. Not him, not Lestat de Lioncourt. Or, Lestat has a chance to help Louis, to help them both. To become better when he realises what’s happened to them. But, of course, he misses it.
{Part 8} I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror Summary: “Lestat was well aware he liked pain. Far too much. Always had.” Lestat ruminates on pain, and the forms it’s taken in his life, after causing the worst night of pain he ever could. He comes close to self-awareness. He doesn’t quite manage to meet his own eyes.
{Part 9} And then someone screams out, “She’s laughing up at us from Hell!” Summary: “The funny thing about being only almost dead was that Lestat could still hear things. His eyes were rolled back, vision obscured, his limbs wouldn’t move and his mind churned sluggishly, but he could still hear. The old blood within him had kept him from dying completely, kept him partially conscious. But it was the worst kind of torture. Because he could hear them. And he could do nothing.”
{Part 10} It's me, Hi! I'm the problem, it's me Summary: “He was the weed that needed to be pulled up, the leech that needed to be squashed.” A look inside the head of a half-dead vampire as he realises where he went wrong, and begins to understand that he’s been the monster in the story all along.
{Part 11} Pierced through the heart but never killed Summary: “He'd survived, as he always did. Lestat de Lincourt, Lelio, the Wolfkiller. Never completely beaten, always a way to get back up, to keep going. He didn’t want to be that anymore.” Lestat always survives. Two attempts on his life, told from his perspective. One of them inspires him to change. The other brings him lower than he ever thought he could go.
{Part 12} I'm the problem, it's me,...Everybody agrees Summary: Lestat comes into the world and begins to learn just how much he missed. But he’s haunted by the ghosts of Louis and Claudia wherever he goes; doomed to be alone, his two companions dead and gone. And it is all his fault. He’s the problem, the problem that got them killed. Or so he thinks. Until he stumbles across a little-known book called ‘Interview with the Vampire’…
{Part 13} It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero Summary: ‘The hair on the back of Daniel’s neck stood up, and he knew that predatory, assessing gaze was locked on him. “I must say, I’m a very big fan.” Daniel put the kettle on and turned around, only to be met with a paper copy of ‘Interview with the Vampire’. “May I have an autograph?” Daniel scoffed, meeting Lestat’s eyes as the vampire put on an exaggerated pout. “Sure. But that’s not what you came here for.”’
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ratcandy · 3 years ago
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Subcon Forest Analysis
Hi everyone I'm here to spill my aggressive overflowing thoughts on Subcon Forest and what it represents because it's been driving me insane since I finished the Sleepy Subcon time rift. Okay let's go. Obvious spoilers for AHIT ahead so proceed with caution.
This is also very, very long.
Disclaimer/warning: I will be discussing abusive/unhealthy relationships in this analysis. I mean. Vanessa. Come on. Also, there is a section on the nooses, and that delves, of course, into mentions of suicide. It will be sectioned off and easily skipped, but if you'd rather be safe and skip the entire post, that's completely understandable! Please stay safe. <3
Alright. Main point to be had here:
Subcon Forest is a giant extended metaphor for Snatcher's mind and character.
You all get to now listen to me spout nonsense about metaphors and symbolism because I'm a sucker for analysis and I'm given an opportunity to go ham. So perish.
The Ice
Let's start with the most obvious and most glaring thing in Subcon. The ice. It's everywhere. Not just outside Vanessa's manor, either; no, it's throughout the village, too. Shows up in the well and in random locations sprinkled about. When it comes to literal plot, we know that ice is just what lingers after Vanessa's wintery curse on Subcon. But going deeper and analyzing the meaning behind it?
Well, let's look at this from the perspective I've suggested. Subcon Forest being an extended metaphor for Snatcher's mind and character. A symbol for Vanessa then litters his mind, enough where it's certainly noticeable at first but blends in more easily once more of Subcon is unlocked to Hat Kid. This is clearly meant to be his lingering trauma, whether or not he wants to acknowledge it. Which he doesn't, as he never mentions it directly in his forest (that I can recall). Her influence plagues him, as to be expected with the traumatic experiences he went through with her. Breaking the ice is something Hat Kid must do in order to fulfill the wishes of the Fire Spirits (another subject I'll get into shortly), which, if self-indulgently playing with the found family idea, could mean that Hat Kid is helping him heal; if indirectly. Even if fulfilling the Fire Spirits' wish to die is... counterproductive, in that measure, which I'm now getting ahead of myself so hold on a sec!!
Vanessa. Ice. Everywhere. Traces of it all over his forest. That's the effects of an abusive relationship! Especially in a worst-case scenario where... yknow! One party in the relationship dies! So of course ice would be everywhere.
In and of itself, ice is a common symbol in literature and other forms of media. In this case, it's presented as an antagonistic force; emphasis is placed upon freezing and the harm that comes with it. The cold is unwelcoming, threatening, merciless. Snow can act as an insulating force, at least, but ice cannot. It can only make things colder.
A slight stretch: Seeing as this game deals a lot with time shenaniganry, I'm not sure if it'd be too out of left field to connect "freezing" with the theme of time. Yknow. Frozen in time. Both parties here, Snatcher and Vanessa, would be in this frozen state. One largely repressing it and never fully moving on, and the other doomed to her isolation ever since the event in question. They never moved past that moment after the Prince and florist's interaction.
The Fire Spirits (& the Portraits)
I'll put a slight warning here for suicidal ideation, if only because... it's the Fire Spirits we're talking about. It's not as grossly in-detail as the noose discussion will be, though, so make of that what you will.
To me, the Fire Spirits are a very interesting case. After all, they're fire. They're a direct contrast to the ice, thus being the only thing we're shown that could potentially melt it. The Fire Spirits, in my opinion, represent hope or a strength to continue. A strength to move on after troubles of the past.
...And that hope wants to die.
The Fire Spirits wish to burn out, to leave this mortal coil and abandon the forest to the cold. They make no effort to melt the ice, they simply dance, blissfully ignorant towards their surroundings. This being a metaphor for Snatcher's own hope for moving on is made all the more obvious by the fact he wants them gone. The first contract is to kill the Fire Spirits, to kill the hope. Perhaps he believes that sort of thing to be fruitless or naïve, so it only clutters his mind or has him foolishly optimistic at points. So, get rid of it. And the hope is happy to oblige.
(That, or their willingness to leave the forest to its own suffering and not aid in the ice's thaw angers him. Besides the whole "bark bark growl I can't get to parts of my forest because of them!!" which... also could represent a naïve hope clouding his judgement, not allowing him to see a bigger picture. But hope can't all be lost if one wants to move forward...)
A little side-tangent now on the portraits! And it's another slight stretch but the idea is in my head and I can't let it go. Portraits are another common symbol, usually being a physical representation of a memory or idea. For our purposes, let's say they're memories. I know in canon they appear to just hold souls captive or something but for now we're just Ignoring That(tm). The Fire Spirits have to burn the portraits to disappear. See where I'm going with this, maybe?
Instead of handling bad memories (or perhaps memories of the past in general) in any healthy manner, Snatcher chooses to forget/repress them, which just allows his hope to progressively die out.
I'm really hoping this is making sense because it makes a lot of sense to me but I might be insane rn
The Fact that this is a Forest
Forest symbolism breakdown! What's a forest usually mean in literature? "Traditionally, the forest has come to represent being lost, exploration and potential danger as well as mystery and 'other worldliness'." Okay. Yeah. Fair enough. That certainly works with the whole aesthetic we've got going on. Wood usually is life, growth and strength. But the trees of subcon are all dead. So what about that? It stands for death, big whoop, very spooky, we know Snatcher's dead and so are the children, yadda yadda wowie wowie. But. :) The trees in Subcon look a lot like trees that were scorched in a forest fire. Don't believe me?
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(You could also argue they're just regular marsh/swamp trees bUT SSHHSUUHSH HANG ON HEAR ME OUT LOOK LOOK,)
What I believe to have happened was a controlled fire to rid the forest of the majority of its ice and snow. Likely done by Snatcher. It leaves behind a very desolate, depressing, barren scene... but. What else do dead/burnt trees symbolize? Rebirth. After all, controlled fires happen to make way for new trees to take the place of old ones. Some trees only drop seeds in fires/hot temperatures, so new ones take root and begin anew. Weird. It's almost like... I dunno. Snatcher was given some sorta second chance, given he's not just a corpse in Vanessa's cellar. So were the subconites. Another life given then by Snatcher. All connected I tell ya!!
Generally, aside from that, forests have many connotations. Mystery, isolation, claustrophobia; a place to dwell on regrets, or the past; to worry over one's future; to seek escape from or escape inside of... hmgmrnmm!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- T / W -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The Nooses
The t/w is given at the top and another cut-off point will follow the bottom of this, for those that would like to skip. This will delve into talk of suicide and abusive tactics used by abusers. Please don't read if it will upset you or make you feel unsafe!!!
Personally, I cannot stand the nooses, but that's just due to my own triggers. Were there a way to hide those from the game or replace the damned talking ones with anything else. I would take it. In a heartbeat. But I can still appreciate the potential analysis to be had with them. So now i'm gonna talk about it despite how uncomfortable it will make me to do so. yEa
So, what about 'em? There are three types of nooses seen in Subcon. At least that I remember but I didn't really go looking for them. Empty ones, ones containing empty subconites, and the talking ones.
Nooses in general obviously can hint towards suicidal thoughts or behaviors of the characters that interact with them. If saying Subcon is Snatcher's mind, it could suggest that he suffered from some sort of suicidal thoughts in life (or currently, if second death is possible... or if he never truly died... or maybe he's trying to figure that out...which has given me... a separate idea...uh oh). But. And hear me out. Different perspective.
A talking noose. I hate them with a fiery passion that is unmatched. But think of the packed symbolism of a noose that talks. And think more about what it says. "I wouldn't mind being strapped around a cute neck like yours." "Be careful now, I don't want to see you meet a miserable end anywhere, but with me." Oddly, a lot of what the noose says seems almost... endearing? One could argue it's a way of luring someone to put it around their necks, which in and of itself is a whole lot to unpack when it comes to suicidal thoughts beckoning one forward; painting itself as something romantic, almost. But. Here's a wild idea, now. What if the nooses, at least the talking ones, are another symbol for Vanessa?
They're tinted blue, after all. While Vanessa's scheme is more red, one could argue two things: One, ice. Blue. Ice. yeah. Or two, the fact that Snatcher's scheme is more purple. Blue and red... make... purple. So, for all we know, Snatcher's current state was a compound effort between suicidal thoughts and Vanessa's treatment of him. Perhaps he even found a way to put himself out of his misery before freezing/starving to death. (I know he has dialogue that argues against that, but... are we certain Snatcher would be the kind to admit suicide over freezing to death?... I don't think so.)
At any rate, a common threat by those in "control" of an abusive relationship is that of killing themselves should the other person not do as they desire. It's a cruel form of emotional manipulation to get their way, worse off if the other party is an empathetic individual. As a person who has been the empathetic individual in relationships like this... I would know. I've been here, unfortunately So, it's not completely out of the question to say Vanessa could've used some tactic like that, even before the whole... cellar ordeal. Did she? I dunno. I'm tossing ideas around. But if she did, the threats of such would sit around in the Prince's mind easily. Even if she has a reputation of not going through with it. It doesn't matter. That shit sticks with you forever, that scare, the potential of it ever being true, is horrifying and it ruins you. I'm projecting, Squirtle.
Still. A noose cannot hang itself. It has to have a victim.
...yea.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- T / W PASSED -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Misc. Ideas
- The spiders: Aside from the usual things spiders can be chalked up to symbolizing - toxicity, alluring danger, just... general pain - I like the potential wordplay that can happen here. Yknow. A black widow. Say the Prince and Vanessa were married when one died. What would that leave Vanessa? A widow. ...She's red and black, too. Yknow. Like a black widow. HA wordplay is fun isn't it?
- Snatcher's tree: Love this place, love sitting in here. But not the point! The inside of Snatcher's tree is such a harsh juxtaposition to the rest of Subcon that it kinda throws ya off guard. After all, the dark, purples and blues then contrasted with the bright warm colors of the inside. Even the music switches over. The thorns outside aren't present indoors. Ohh yeah this is gonna be on the nose as hell but the Tree(tm) is 100% representing Snatcher's appearance/put-on personality vs. his truer nature. Spooky outside with thorns, foreboding, unwelcoming. Then the more comfortable interior. VULnerable. Have I even mentioned that the tree is HOLLOW I mean COME ON. The sturdiness of that tree? Nonexistent. He's not a sturdy guy at all no matter how he fronts
- Intrusions are unwelcome: Snatcher does not like the fact that Hat Kid sticks around in his forest. His personal space. His mind. In fact he tries desperately to get rid of her after their fight, not wanting her presence in his forest at all. He has no problem providing more contracts later on with the Death Wish thing, and he finds great entertainment in messing around with Hat Kid, so it's not just a weird sudden hatred he has for her; it's the fact that. After she's finished being useful, he no longer wants her around, lest she find some things she shouldn't find. Now he's just uncomfortable with her in his personal boundaries. Could just be a denial that she's helped him heal (breaking ice, stealing from Vanessa, being something interesting for his kids to interact with) or just not really wanting a child to get wrapped up in. All that. Most likely the former. Considering the amount of joke-hints he drops regarding his background during his Death Wish dialogue. I see you funny man, making jokes out of your trauma as a coping mechanism. Punts him
Annnd I think that's all I got, for now! I'll make an update post if I get any more sporadic ideas. If you read this whole thing, thank you!! and also!! Wow that was a lot!! Hell world. Please feel free to elaborate on any of my points or debate with me on em!! I'm always open to other ideas, just be aware that if I disagree I am not shy when it comes to debate hehehe, tho I won't be aggressive to any extent I prommy!!
Alrighty. goes to sleep goodnight
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zuffer-weird-girl · 4 years ago
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Over.
For those who dont know here is the link for the first part of this lil thing :3
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You exhaled with a smile at seeing the new look on your apartment. It came with a generous amount of space on both living room and bedroom. Some of the Hassaikai members helped you with all the mobile and some boxes you still had to look over to put things back in order.
Humming to a song that was stuck in your head (and he wadled away wadle wadle) you kneeled on the ground to open a tiny box to start, but you soon frowned at seeing the contents of it...
It was a tiny little glass box, with a carnation safetly placed inside of it... along, it came a bit of your treasures you savored.. a pair of white yet with tiny little delicate detailsyou knrw he knew you love it; a tiny necklace, simple yet elegant, pingent of a heart attached to it; earings with the symbol of the hassaikai and others that were little white wings...
You soon took notice of the drops of tears that were falling down on your lap and inside the boz as you picked the earrings of the Hassaikai... Chisaki gave you this when you both started dating... it was the first ever gift he gave to you along with the carnation...
'I am by far one of the most normal men considering of what the society sees me... but I hope you that you have the patience to bear with me until I give you a life and a clean world to live in until there my dear.'
The words repeated on your head as sobs started to rip from your tgroat as you clenched the earing to the point they pierced your skin enough to hurt as you curped yourself on the floor in misery...
You wanted to forgive him. You wanted to forget what happened on that disgrace if a day...
But you just couldn't. You couldn't forget thhe warth yet neither that murderous gaze Kai had on you. You couldn't forget how his rough hands that usually touched you like you were made out of glass instead grabbed roughly on your arm to the point you cried in pain.
You couldn't forget how he used his quirk on you out of anger.
.
.
.
"Thank you." He muttered monotonously as he grabbed the bouquet full of roses, safetly wrapped up so it couldn't come in contact with him as he exuted the shop.
Ever since the accident, he hadn't been able to get sleep without having night terrors of the terrified look you had... the screams for him to get away from you, to not wven rouch you with a single finger...
He felt worse than the dirt his shoes collected while walking on the dirty streets of where he lived.
He stared at one single rouse out of all in the bouquet he just paid for it, sighing as he adjusted a petal that was a tad bit out of place only for him to accidentaly rip it from the poor flower.
He stopped at that, watching the petal dance while falling into the ground... his eyebrows frowned as he merely sighed after closing his eyes.
"It seems everything I do I end it up ruining it on a way or another..." he whispered to himself, lowering both arms in defeat.
In others it would be seen as childish for him to get all depressed over a simple petal falling from the bouquet... but not for him.
He was the one that was abandoned on the streets to starve; he was the one whose only brought problems more than pride to the man whose took care of him as his only son... he was the one that hurt and traumatized the one he loved over a anger tantrum...
What was wrong with him..? He though, bringing his free hand ro rub his face and sigh deepely.
Although, his ears peeked up at a sound of laughter. Your laughter. His precious angel's laughter which he hadn't heard from months... he swear he felt like crying in glee as he started to almost run towards that beautiful sound he oh missed so dearly.
What wasn't he expecting was get right in front of a scene that left his heart immediately dropping to his stomach... you were indeed laughing of course.
But in the arms of another man.
On the other side of the street he saw how the taller male bear hugged you and lifted you up off the ground and twirles you around as you squealed. Scrunching up your nose at him kissing hard on your cheek.
He slowly lowered down his hand where it held the bouquet as he stared at the scene that completely torn his insodes out as his eyes carried sadness and heartache...
Despite all of those feelings, he still found himself smiling as a tear ran down his face... it was better this way. You could have a normal life, not surrounded by body guards, not have to worry about constant magging of getting clean or sickness... having someone that could give you what you deserved...
He turned his back to walk away... but what wasn't him expecting was that you had noticed him. Walking away. You furrowed your eyebrows, and against your better judgment, you started to run toawrds him, not seing the open signal neither the car that was coming...
"Ka-Chisaki!" He heard you and let out a confused sound before turning and widening his eyes in horror and dropping the amount of flowers he had at the sign of a car coming and honking.
His feet moved before his mind could, his gloves already dissapeared as he shouted foe you or the car, he didn't know anymore, to stop.
Your eyes widened at the sound of honking and before could let out a sound you were engulfed in muscular arm, bringing you close to his chest as he almosy broke his wrist when making contact with the car and overhauling it in a question of seconds.
The screams were gone for a minute and all you could hear was your and Kai's heartbeat at top speed and his uncrotoled shorts of breath.
A half of the citizens clapped their hands while others immediately left the local as the owner of the car, a young man, finally recovered from the state of panic and got down angry yelling at both of you.
"You stupid bitch! Couldn't see a damn sign that I WAS THE ONE TO GO?! AND YOU TOO YOU DICK! You conpletely destroyed my car you asshole!" The male shouted as Kai put you back on your feet as he glared daggers at the short man.
"If a car cost more than a life so there-" the car was back in shape as soons as he destroyed "You can have it. But just for you to know I am not just an 'asshole' as you reffered me." He growled between teeh as you tensed... you knew that tone of voicw way too well...
"Pff-! Yeah whatever old man-" Chisaki grabbed the hem of the shit of the man and stared dead in his eye "H-Hey! Let go basta-"
"You're bold enough ti call the leader of the yakusa a bastard, arent you?" He growled, and the life of the brunnete seemes to fade away from his eyes as he heard those words.
Before you could say something the scared male face was brought to you as Kai growled and overhauled just a tad bit of yhe hem of his shirt to prove his point.
"This you rascal. Is not a bitch. She is a woman. One that deserves respects and was almost killed by you driving at an unforgible speed you irresponsible germ. So before I lose my patience, say your apologies. Now."
The man stuttered some apologies as your eyes widened at Chisaki before he let go of the brunnete to dall on his knees qs Kai glared at him.
"Get out of my sign before I change my kind on cutting your fingers off."
You stared dumbfounded at the zpeed the little man had to enter his car and get the hell out of thwre becore you gasped at seing Chisaki starting to walk away from you once again.
"H-Hey! Chisaki!" You called but he only stopped and crouched down "You're seriously not gonna say-" you stopped when he got up and turnes to you with a brojen face as he stared at the absolute destroyed bouquet... the majority of them were sprawled on the ground and somewere broken and petals lost and sprawled on the ground and on the street.
"I'm sorry," He mumbled as you stared confusely until he spoke on a sadder tone "Those were meant for you.." you hesitantly grabbed and stared in pity yet a tad bit of ahocked at the warmth you felt on your chest.
"You.. didn't had to." He sinply blinked at your astonished expression.
"I know. But is the least I could do." He muttered before a bit of awkward silence was in the air as you stared at the white roses in your hand, threatening to appear a smile on your lips until the man just sighed and turned midway away from you.
"Have a good afternoon." You eyes widened and before you could even mutter the words wait, he just left. Hands stuffed on his pockets and head hung low.
You furrowed your eyebrows before your eyes dropped to the ground where a mess of white petals and broken roaes were sprawled...
You buffed before looking at a meteo station and walking on the direction of your new apartment.
.
.
"You know," he heard the old male's voice ring from the door way as he tried to listen to some calm music layed on his bed and documments on hand "You could take a break now at then Chisaki, maybe some tea to help calm those nervs boy." He stopped reading for a moment as he sighed, looking at Pops unamused.
"Thank you for the offer. But I shall decline."
"Son you camt expect to just succumb into depression like that and think I would allow it." The words of the epder shocked him to some instant before he hesitantly locked eyes with grey ones "I bet you havent triies to verbally apologize to them even once, am I wrong?" Pops croased his arms as he stared at the man dressed in black.
"... try saying sorry for breaking a cup. The word itself wont make the cup return to its original form, it will still be broken." He sighed as he placed the papers on the desn after getting up "This is the same situation. Is not like I deserve or neither knows how to love someone anyway."
"So you just will accept (Y/n) to walk out, end things and be like that?" The elder gesture with his hand at Chisaki "You want to end things with the one you claimed to lo-"
"I didn't want it too, OKAY?!" he banged his fist on the desk as he droppes his head with closed eyes as Pops frowned "I didn't... I.. I cant take the thought of (Y/n) leaving me... but at the same time.." the elder widened hsi eyes at the drop of water that fell on the papers, staining a bit.
"I cant take the thought..of hurting such an angel like I did again... I wouldn't forgive myself." He spoke through teeth in hopes a sob wouldn't escaped until he felt the hand of his mentor pulling him into a firm hug.
"And you say you dont know how to love, huh?" Pops muttered with a smile whipe putting all of his force on the hug as Chisaki's tears deopped silently "Idiot boy, you are just as worth to love someone as anyone else. A mistake wont lwt you stop you if you do know you were on the wrong of it and want to be better." His hand patter the brown hair of Kai much as he did inumerous times as when he was just a child.
He pushed Kai away and sadly smirked at seeing the face of Chisaki all stained with dry tears but no traces of redness... just a broken look.
"When you act like this. Like a man. Is the times I am most proud of you, my son." His breath hitched at the male's words "i will get some herbal tea wether you want it or not. And believe me boy, things are going to get better soon or later."
"... sounds impossible." He muttered as soon as the elder left the room and closed the door.
.
.
.
It was his birthday. Tommorow was his birthday.
You frowned before inhaling sharply. It would complete almost three months since you just stopped talking with him. You were better. But you continually beated yourself up for craving that man's touch or just for hearing some word out of him.
The tiny little presents had stopped when you read a card where he apologized to seen like a stalker and would leave you alone for you to move on. One day after the day you almost got run over by a car and he had saved you and even defended your moral from that asshole that almost shitted his pants at only knowing Chisaki was from the yakusa.
You sighed... this was the first of a ever time Kai had hurted you... and this seemed like it did not only affected you. You sure was hoping for Kai to get possesive or even threatening you to come back to him like many cases you saw on the T.v. But you should have know that by now, Kai was different.
Despite how much he denied, he was a old and gentleman at heart, always looking for ways to please you through gifts since he hadn't has any form of touching in his lifetime that he didn't saw as sick...
... that was it. You had decided over fighting with yourself over three weeks by now.
You were going to give Chisaki. Your Kai Chisaki, another chance.
Packing your purse and everything you could carry on your suitcase, you locked the door of your apartment and left on destination of the house of the Shie Hassaikai.
.
.
.
The gates openes coincdentaly when a black car entered and you took the chance to sneak in. Tip toeing to your once shared bedroom and letting your things over there before you jumped with a squeal at a soind of cough.
"Is such a pleasure to have you back here my dear." You smiled at the old man's face and immediately hugged him, catching the elder in surprise before he chuckled and returned your hug "Care if I may ask why are you back out of the sudden?"
"I... I missed your son. So much." You spoke in embarrassment as the elder smiled and showed with his hand the hallway.
"I guess he is on a room reading something, go text your luck." You nodded, bowing with gratitide as you hesitantly walked and indeed found Kai sitting on a sofa, leg crossed over another as he read a book.
"'The only thing we never get enough of, is love; and the only thing we dont give enough of is also love.' Tsk... not a tad bit wrong Miller sir.." you heard your boyfriend mumbling to himself as he closed the book with a sigh to rub between hsi eyebrows.
You took careful steps while arms crosses behind your back as you looked at his hunched over form and messy dark brow hair.
"I never took you the type to read love quotes." You speak quietly, giggling at how Chisaki flinched and opened his eyes wide at seeing you just mere feet away from him "Hi."
"(Y/n)?" He spoke almost in disbelief as he stood up , hope on his eye swith a fraction of second before returning to that hollow look "What.. what brings you here?"
You rubbed your arm while taking carefull steps towards him, seeing how tense he was.
"I.. think we should at least had talked.. before all of this happened at least."
"You dont have too." He immediatly replied with a stoic look "Is all clear. And I dont take your reasons away from you. You have the right to have a life of your own." You furrowed your eyebrows and honestly being hurt by his words.
"What? So.. so you are okay with this? W-With.. is all this about us?" You pointed at the two of you as sadness overtook his features.
"... I juust know is for the best. For your happiness and safety at least. You dont have to make excuses to make me feel better. I know what I did. And believe, I regret it and hate myself with every piece of my soul."
"Well... I sure cant just pat your head and tell that 'aw baby it was nothing you want a cookie?'-" you saw how he cringed at your words and looked down at his feet "But... but I can say other things." He arched an eyebrows before his breath hitched when he felt your arma circle his chest as you rested your cheek where you could hear his heartbeat...
He stood there with hands on the air in both fear of hurring you and conoekte shock until you spoke something that completely broke him.
"I forgive you Kai... we can still be together... if you want of course."
The sobs ripped from his theoat without warning as his arms came down to gently hold you as he buries his face in your for the sake of his pride.
You felt tears of your own fall as well, staining Kai black social shirt, which he wa completely hot on it, as you clinged for dear life on him, after months finally feeling secure on his arms like you used to do...
"I'm so sorry..." he mumblex, swallowing a hiccup as he rested his chin on your head as you closed your eyes to let the tears fall.
"I know..." you mumbled before parting away from hin as you both stared at eachother until you smiled sadly as he wiped your tears away as you mirrored his actions. "Who would have thought.. a simple quirkless girl making the big bad yakusa cry like a child." You giggled as you saw the hint of tiny smirk beneath that mask.
You saw how he pushed down the said article to reveap his whole handsome face as he stares back at you.
"Should we start all over then?" You offered as his eyebrows quirked up.
"What about that guy you were talking with before... the almost acvident if you could say."
"... my friend thhat was telling me about his wedding in the next month you mean?" You asked with a tiny laugh as his face dropped in realization. "Y-You thought I was dating him?!"
"Well..." he sighed, looking away from you " You had your reasons to."
He widened his eyes at the sudden touch of your hands on his jaw and almost gasped when you pulled him to crush your lips with his... finaly registering what was happening he allowed himself to close his eyes and just... enjoy the moment.
"My jelly bean." You whispered with foreheads conected as Kai scoffed with a smile.
"Dont start with the stupid nicknames now." You smiled at him before he hesitamtly put his hands on your waist "so.. about what happened-" you shushed him gently before ppacing a more sweet kiss on his lips.
"Hush, is over now. In the past. I know you didn't meaant it, and I forgive you. Dont overthinking about it okay? Is over now my love." You nuzzled on his neck as he leg out a watery chuckle and engulfing you on his arms.
".. I guess.. I guess is over." He smiled as he closed his eyes and breathe din the svent he so desperately craved for months.
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whump-only · 4 years ago
Text
meal time -- Golden (vamp whump)
Part 2 of my mini vampire-whump series. Wherein Pollen tries out this whole feeding a vampire thing. 
tw: captivity, starvation/hunger, light gore (description of prior injury), it/its as pronouns, manhandling, reference to broken bones, suffocation/drowning, knives + cut skin, and who can forget blood
-------
“Come on, vampy. Breakfast,” Pollen called. Or, he guessed, this was technically its dinner. Since, nocturnal, right?
The thing didn’t stir under its blanket. With a little jolt of concern and hope, Pollen wondered if the shock of having its legs broken just straight up killed it. Pollen placed the dog bowl down on the ground, with the cube of cow’s blood sliding around the bottom, already a small pool of it melted. 
With one hand Pollen pinned it down, putting his weight into it. This elicited a moan so at least it wasn’t dead. Yippee. He pulled down the blanket, revealing its thick matted hair and the iron straps that held its muzzle in place. This also meant it was on its stomach, which was good. Its bound hands must be pinned below it. 
Pollen fiddled with the key for what felt like far too long until the lock holding the muzzle shut dropped open. He pocketed the lock but hesitated to pull the muzzle away from its face, what if it tried to bite? But he couldn’t leave it like this… Pollen held its hair with one hand and yanked the muzzle off with the other, then swiftly scrambled up and away. 
His worry was for nothing, because it didn’t react at all, except to groan. The bottom of its face looked all discolored and part of it was torn open and oozing blood or something.
Pollen grimaced. With his foot he shifted the bowl closer so it was right near the vampire’s head. He then bounded up the stairs and slammed the door shut. 
——
When Pollen returned that night, the vampire was curled up away from the bowl, again tucked entirely under the blanket. Pollen checked and the cube had melted, leaving the bowl nearly full of the dark liquid. 
It didn’t drink any? Pollen wondered. He stared at the bowl for a while, then finally decided to dump the old stuff and put in a new cube of frozen cow blood. Again, he pushed the bowl so that it was right near where he assumed the hiding vampire’s head was. 
“Come on. Food. Drink,” he encouraged, tapping its back with his toe. 
It growled from under the blanket.
Pollen left hastily. 
——
The next night Pollen managed a few hours of sleep but still woke and lay awake for hours before getting up to check on the vampire. 
He felt a sense of relief at seeing that creature right where he left it. But the bowl was also exactly where he left it, untouched. 
Was it too sick to eat? That was really possible considering its almost catatonic state. Pollen figured it’d only get even weaker if it didn’t eat soon. It was strange that Hyde hadn’t mentioned this… His skin crawled from the thought of Hyde blaming him for killing his little pet. 
Perhaps the vampire just needed to smell the blood or taste it to be… inspired. 
Pollen pulled its blanket down off its head, careful to draw his hands away quickly. It growled and squeezed its eyes shut angrily. It was still unmuzzled and now under closer observation, Pollen could see its mouth was all blistered and the sides were torn open, half scabbed and still open. 
Pollen gagged. Trying not to look directly at it, he cupped a bit of the cow’s blood in his hands then splashed it onto the vampire’s face. 
The vampire huffed in surprise and opened its eyes ever so slightly. Pollen didn’t think he imagined its nose twitching a bit and it swallowing, though it was hard to tell under the dim yellow light. 
“Come on. Smells good right? Drink, it’s right there,” Pollen encouraged. 
The vampire stared at him for a beat before closing its eyes again. 
“Hey!” Pollen said, and splashed a bit more onto it. 
It scrunched its nose and looked him over with one eye before defiantly closing it again. 
“Fuck,” Pollen sighed, then turned to climb the stairs. “So stubborn…”
Pollen closed the basement door behind himself. Right there, on the counter in front of him, lay the vampire’s muzzle that he’d dropped there after taking it off. 
Pollen tried to walk past it. Twice. Finally after rocking on his heels he snatched it up and flipped it over. 
A silver bit. Designed to pressed into the mouth, burning lips and tongue. 
Pollen chuckled emptily. That would do it. 
——
Pollen trudged down the stairs. Unsurprisingly the vampire was under its blanket. Its bowl was full. 
“Come on, vamp. You’re gonna starve,” he complained. Pollen knew these things were resilient but they still needed food, right? 
Pollen tried to push the still-blanketed vampire onto its back but it resisted, making a low sound, not quite a growl. Pollen put a little more weight into his foot, until he was able to fully pin the creature on its back. 
With his boot Pollen tapped the lump of blanket until he thought he found where its bound hands were, and then by stepping down, pinned its hands into its chest. Pollen held his breath and ripped down the blanket, revealing the vampire’s glowering stare and what looked like a scowl behind its ripped lips. 
“I hate you too,” Pollen informed it, then grabbed its bowl.
Pollen tipped the bowl, aiming the cow’s blood at the creatures mouth. But the vampire kept its mouth firmly shut so the liquid splattered all over its face and chest. 
“God damn it,” Pollen muttered. Was it doing this on purpose? A little protest? 
Pollen stepped away to strategize. He could wait the creature out, eventually it would get hungry enough and drink. Right? But what if it didn’t? Maybe it’d had enough and was trying to kill itself. Could he could force it to open its mouth long enough to poor the liquid down? That would be hard. He didn’t want to touch its face. Did vampires even like cow’s blood? 
Pollen placed the bowl on the ground, by now the cow’s blood was nearly all gone, poured out and wasted. But there was a good inch left.
Pollen got a firm grip on the vampire’s hair. It winced a bit, before he even pulled.
Pollen took a deep breath and lifted the vampire’s head and smashed it into the bowl. The vampire immediately started to thrash and cough and wail. Pollen lifted its head above the blood for two seconds, letting it gasp for air, then pressed its face down into the bowl again. He continued like this four or five more times before releasing it.
Its whole face was covered in the watery blood, but it looked more like it’d gone for a swim than for a meal. It took shuddering breaths for a while, then as if declaring itself finished, pulled the blanket back over its head. 
Pollen checked the bowl. It was pretty much empty but most of the blood had probably been splashed out instead of swallowed. Pollen decided that was enough for the day. 
———
Pollen returned the next morning, ready with a fresh bowl of melted cow’s blood. 
The vampire whimpered as Pollen made his way down the steps, clearly less indifferent than before. 
“Don’t cry at me. Are you gonna eat today? Hm?” Pollen asked it, and set the bowl down by its head. 
The vampire didn’t move to drink so Pollen ripped away its blanket and took it by its hair again. It made a long, sad whine. 
“I know. But I can’t let you turn to dust on my watch,” Pollen explained, then dunked the vampire’s head into the bowl, trying to keep its mouth under and nose above the liquid. 
Like last time the vampire thrashed and growled. Pollen lifted its head and it seemed to cough blood back into the bowl before Pollen pushed it under again. Dunk. Breathe. Dunk. Breathe. 
It didn’t seem like the blood was actually going anywhere except the floor. Pollen dropped the thing’s head to the side of the bowl and sighed. It was hopeless. 
Maybe he could threaten it. Pollen got up and inspected the toolbox that Hyde had left. Many of the tools felt untouchable, too gruesome to consider, and the rest were useless. There was a little pocket knife… Pollen flicked it open. 
The vampire had closed its eyes again. Pollen pointed the knife at it, accusingly. “If you don’t drink everything in that bowl, I’m gonna cut you!” he announced, testing out the words. 
The vampire huffed without opening its eyes. Pollen doubted the vampire would even understand why it was being hurt, if Pollen really started cutting it. How absurd this must all be for a creature like that. To wake up one day in this nightmare. Pollen felt his resolve draining. “Shit.”
Pollen looked at his reflection in the blade of the pocket knife. The thought that entered his mind was so absurd that he laughed out loud. 
And yet… Pollen chewed his lip. He couldn’t be this soft. It was a vampire. Human blood was off limits. Didn’t Hyde say that? Right? Pollen wasn’t sure. 
Maybe a little bit of human blood would make it less… sick. Less depressed too. 
Pollen rolled his eyes at how much of a pushover he was for this. He’d never tell Hyde. 
Pollen crouched over the bowl that still had the cow’s blood. He took a few deep breaths then lightly pressed the blade into the pad of his pinkie finger. He hissed as it sliced open the skin but just as quickly the pain faded to a throb. A bead of blood welled up and slid off his finger, into the bowl, one drop of human’s blood lost in an ocean of cow’s blood. Plink. 
Pollen glanced at the vampire and his heart skipped a beat. It was staring directly at him, eyes alert and wide. Its irises were an undeniably beautiful color. Gold was rare for vampires. 
Pollen grinned in triumph even though his heart thrummed in his chest from its hungry attention. “Yeah, you can smell it right? You want this?”
The vampire’s nose twitched a bit, as if to confirm. 
Two more drops landed in the bowl. Plip. Plip. He’d really captured its attention now. It really was a beastly thing, so hungry for human blood. 
Pollen pressed his thumb just below the cut, pushing out a few more drops of blood. Plip. Plip plip plip. Plip. It seemed the vampire breathed a little faster, imperceptibly strained toward the bowl. But it made no moves, no sound. 
Pollen stuck his hurt pinkie into his mouth and stood up. He nudged the bowl toward the vampire, until the bowl touched the thing’s forehead. 
“Come on. I know you’re tempted,” he whispered. 
The vampire’s nose still twitched but it somehow still didn’t move. 
Pollen took a seat on the bottom stair. They were both out of each other’s reach. 
The vampire glanced at him, sizing him up, then the bowl, and Pollen thought he could see the gears churning in its brain. 
Finally, it shifted. Pollen held his breath as it laboriously got up on its elbows and lifted its head. It gave the blood a sniff and at last, lowered its mouth to the liquid and took free swallows. It even licked the bottom of the bowl. 
Pollen waited until it was finished before getting up. It startled, shooting Pollen a glare. 
But Pollen was just amused. “Good job today, Goldie,” he said, remembering Hyde’s nickname for it. 
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simpurnatural · 3 years ago
Text
Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse
Chapter 1 of 14
“A limited series that revolves around What if...Zombies?! and the chaos that unravels in the span of 2 weeks for Renee Cooper.”
SERIES MASTERLIST = PREVIOUS || NEXT
Warning ⚠️: SPOILER WARNING FOR EPISODE 5 OF “WHAT IF?”, swearing, violence, and mentions of anxiety and depression. (<- May not apply to every chapter)
Note that Renee Cooper is totally made up by me (Nat - Simpurnatural) and has been inserted into to the plot for this fan-write!
Any writing errors? Point them out! Love some helpful feedback!<3
REQUESTS ARE OPEN AND ENJOY LUVS <3
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“Out of all the ways you could’ve brought the band back together,” you say, motioning quotation marks with your hands, “-telling us that zombies are a thing is not a scenario I had in mind,” you shrug.
A sigh was heard from the other end of the phone before they decided to speak, “Well, how ‘bout you turn on the TV and check the news?” Tony asks.
You looked around in search for a remote, grabbing it from the nightstand and turning on the television. Flickered through a few shows finding a news channel and turning up the volume.
“The city of San Francisco, now currently under quarantine, has cases shooting through the roof-” the news reporter announces. “Doctors are working around the clock in full body hazmat suits.” they explain.
“Any more information concerning what caused it?” a news anchor asks.
“It’s still unsure who or what has begun the spread but we will have more information on it shortly. Back to you guys at the station.” the reporter nods.
“Tony, what’s happening?” you ask, looking around the room and beginning to pack your belongings.
“Not sure yet Renee. But we’re gonna need all hands on deck for this one,”.
...
“Sorry to cut your little hiatus short,” Tony mumbles as he struts into the room, tablet in hand. “Still waiting on Cap and the others,” he adds, taking a seat beside you.
“It’s fine,” you reply as sunk into the seat to get more comfortable “Felt like I was running out of places to hide anyway,” you explain “Ross was on my ass almost every-time.”.
“You know, I don’t understand why you even went into hiding.” Tony hums, turning to you. 
“Oh, I helped the other side in more ways than you think,” you huffed as multiple pairs of footsteps were heard. 
Clint, Sam, Nat, Steve, and T’Challa waltzed into the room with tired smiles. Gear in hand and ready for the fight, just like the good old days. But now, you weren’t sure if there were any of those left.
“Renee,” Nat grinned, welcoming you in her arms “Glad to see you in good shape,” she says as you pulls away for you to hug the others.
“Thanks,” you beam before finding yourself in front of Steve. Who you had a secret (not so secret) fling with before the Accords. Pushing that aside, you pulled him into a hug “Nice beard,”.
“Okay, let’s get this meeting started.” Tony huffs, clasping his hands together.
‘Wait, this is everyone?” asked Sam, which was question everyone else thought.
“Everyone who responded to my phone call? Yep,” Tony confirmed, a pang of sadness hit you.
Did everyone really not want to fight one last time? Try to save the world from what seemed to be its impending doom? You realized something else, what if they were already dead too?
Everyone took their seats and turned to the holographic images being projected from the center of the table. 
“So, the world is tearing itself apart by something that’s turning everything in its path into zombies.” He explains, as if it were the easiest concept in the world. “I’ve been getting radio signals from civilians that need help,”.
“This is a rescue mission?” asked Clint, “Where would we even take them?” he questioned.
“The avengers compound, state of the art and built to withstand well...an apocalypse” the billionaire explains.
“Say we house them here, how long will that plan work? Resources like food and what not’ll run out eventually,” Nat says.
“-And what do you propose we do with the walking dead?” T’Challa asks.
“Kill as much as we can,” You reply. “Figure out weaknesses and hit em’ where it hurts. Maybe we could even find a cure!” you add, trying to give them all hope.
“This isn’t like something we’ve dealt with before. They aren’t robots we can switch off or aliens we can shove through a portal.” Clint counters, obviously frustrated.
“Then how will we know how to stop them if we don’t at least try?” Steve asks, finally joining the discussion.
“There’s the Cap we all know a love,” Tony sighs, “We start tomorrow,” he announces.
...
That night, you threw together dinner and the group sat in the living area. Besides the jazz playing the background, everyone ate in a comfortable silence. You allowed yourself to bask in the last remaining moments of normalcy. 
When you walked into your room, everything was just how you left it. Minus the countless used mugs of coffee. But the posters, photos of the team, and tickets from plays and games. Memories.
KNOCK KNOCK
“Come in,” you say and watch the door knob turn.
“Hey,” Steve grins, approaching you with a freshly shaved face. He looked around your room and chuckled “Tony left my office just-“
“-How you left it, huh?” You sigh with smile, taking a seat on your bed and patting the empty spot beside you.
“Yeah,” he chuckles. That smile had you wrapped around his finger in an instant. “You okay?” he asks, watching you space out.
You nodded wordlessly as he took you hand and traced random shapes on it. His tracing dragged slowly up your arm, to your shoulder, then your chin.
You turned to face him with a dark shade of pink overtaking your features. Steve knew that if he said anything, it would ruin the moment because he would get nervous and ramble.
...
“Come on,” Steve breathed as Bucky kept running towards the quinjet.
Confusion glazed over his eyes as you let go of his hand. You looked back to Nat, who was holding back T’Challa. Then you turned back to Steve and cupped his cheek.
“I can’t. I’m sorry.” You sighed at feeling of him relaxing at your touch. “I’m sorry,” you repeated as a tear stained your face.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Steve assured, pulling you into a hug without hesitation. He took in a deep breath and let out a sob. “Look I’m sure you-I mean we will-Could you-“
You gave him a bittersweet smile as he tried to put his words together before saying…
“Just kiss me like you’ll miss me,”
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youalexturnermeon · 4 years ago
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Hi! Hope you're well 😊
Can I request a Cobra Kai Johnny imagine? Its Johnny patching up the reader, maybe after a fight with Kreese or something like that? Thank you 😁
Request: see above
A/N: I decided to leave Kreese out of it because even the littlest thought of this man gives me high blood pressure. Also this has gotten very long but I tried to warn that the topic of being patched up by Johnny has been living in my head rentfree for a while. That’s why I got carried away. Enjoy your daily dose of one shot.
Warnings: swearing, mentions of violence, alcohol angst and fluff
Wordcount: 2078 (oopsies)
Johnny was your neighbour, you moved in, right next door, a couple of months ago. So far, nothing more nothing less. Except the fact that you had the biggest crush on him, and he wasn’t that opposed to you either. Especially when he took his time got ready to go after his Karate classes when the Yoga group arrived to which he sublet his dojo and he stayed behind, sitting in his office, door open watching you, bent over, doing the most complicated figures ha had ever seen. Johnny thought Yoga was the biggest bullshit on earth, fuck Namaste and such, but when you were doing it right in front his thirsty eyes, he didn’t even need TV. He thought you were super-hot. The problem was that he was much older than you. And besides your Yoga passion and your joint love for beer that you sometimes had together, sitting on the ground in front of the apartment complex, he knew almost nothing about you. He wished he did, even more when you once caught him eyeing you doing the Downward Dog on the mat and instead of giving him the finger for being a creep you winked at him and grinned. That made him crazy. But he was too afraid to make a move, because, let’s be honest, you were young, you were beautiful, you were extremely hot – what the fuck should you do with an old man like him, to begin with. Johnny thought, you could have anyone you wanted, someone younger, taller, fitter, more buff than him.
Right now, Johnny was sitting on the ground in front of his apartment, a beer in his hand, a couple of spear ones just in case, thinking about the last time you sat here next to him, hoping you would come out your door or back from work joining him, just to talk and to drink. A few weeks ago, around that time, you just finished work, you were tired and angry in desperate need of a drink, you sat down to him and you shared that you were a barista at Starbucks, how much you hated some customers, how years ago you moved here to go to college and how you dropped out of it three years later, simple small talk getting superficially deeper with an increased number of beers. These were little things, but Johnny was longing for more of those, sitting waiting for this occasion to repeat itself. He wanted to know everything about you and unlike with other people he wanted to share his life with you, too.
After some time, Johnny, realizing how desperate and stupid he was, now acting like a teenager again, suddenly saw your silhouette in the dark, coming closer. His excitement grew, his heart started beating faster and as much as he hated it, his palms became all sweaty. He wated to jump up, run towards you, but he pulled himself together and just sat still, focusing on a little bug crawling on the ground, not daring to look up again
“Hi, Johnny” you said, sounding exhausted, when you finally approached him and heavily sat down, opening a beer without asking. Johnny was about to greet you back when he looked up from his stupid little insect friend, as he saw your roughed-up condition. His excitement vanished and glanced at you in utter horror. Your long (Y/H/C) hair was all messy, the collar of what has once been a shirt was ripped and hung loosely down your shoulder and when he inspected your face, he gulped. Right on your perfect cheekbone was a fresh bleeding wound surrounded by a huge flowering purple bruise. Your pretty face now twisted to a grimace from pain.
“Jesus Christ, (Y/N), what happened to you?” he asked perplexed, examining your whole body for other injuries he might’ve still not noticed yet.
You shook your head and grinned, “Nothing special, ran into my ex who was the reason I moved to the other side of town, he found out where I was working and decided to pick me up, apparently. He insists I still owe him money, which I don’t. And when I told him this we got into a little fight.”
“Did he do this to you?” Johnny pointed at your face and your now rugged shirt, him voice was filled with fury, he was right about to jump up and hunt that motherfucker down.
“Yeah, but you should’ve seen him when I was finished with him.”
Johnny was surprised how easily you took a big fat black eye, not voicing your pain, laughing away the fight with your ex.
“I kicked his ass!”
Johnny looked at your hands, eyes narrowed. And indeed, all signs showed him that you were able to fight back. Carefully he took your hand in his, making sure he would not hurt you anymore and pulled it closer to his face. Your knuckles were just as the right side of your face, bloody and bruised. You shivered under his touch but for the first time in what seemed to you like forever since you bumped into your ex, you felt your body relaxing. The tension in your shoulders vanishing just because Johnny held your hand in yours so softly. His own were rough from all the training but it felt so good.
“I’m no little bitch, I took a few boxing lessons when I was a teenager” you explained, “When he pulled my shirt, I slapped him, when he started hitting me, I started hitting him back hard, I still got it, then I kicked him in the nuts and managed to run away”
“I’m so, so, so happy to hear to nothing worse happened to you. Next time you see that jerk, you call me, okay? Or when you are afraid to go home by yourself, call me and I pick you up, I bring you home. When I ever see your ex somewhere near here or you, I’m gonna make sure, he’s never gonna touch you or come near you ever again. I’ll even kill that motherfucker for you!”
You laughed and looked into his piercing blue eyes who still showed so much worry and you knew, he was being dead serious.
“Thank you, Johnny!” you whispered, your hand still in his and yet you couldn’t help yourself to make a joke because you could not bear being too serious about your situation right now. You were not used to someone care about you too much.
“But do you think you could manage? Would you be able to kick his ass?” “Is me being a sensei at the dojo you do your stupid yoga in a joke to you, (Y/N)” Johnny said protectively but he too, was glad you could joke right now.
“That stupid yoga you always check my ass out thinking you’re so hidden in your office?”
“Well…” Johnny scratched his head and looked into the air thinking of an even pettier response than yours, but he couldn’t think of any “You got me there”
“I’m actually flattered” you admitted. Until now you weren’t so sure it was you, he was watching so closely.
“Great, now you only have to admit that you are checking me out as well when you’re done with Yoga and I’m leading a class.” You shrugged, “I sometimes do, I love myself a good-looking man who is great with shitty children” Johnny taking another sip of his beer almost choked on it. He was not expecting THAT.
“Alright, good to have this one settled” he said trying to play it cool “Now let’s go patch you up a little”
Without any hesitation or even backtalk which Johnny actually was expecting to get, you followed him and into his apartment. He sat you down on the couch with a new beer in your hand and disappeared into his bedroom.
“Are there any other injuries I should know about?” he yelled whilst rummaging in every cupboard.
“Well, besides my depression, I guess the bastard also managed to kick me in the ribs. Some ice would be great”
Johnny wasn’t even sure he had a first-aid kit somewhere, he wasn’t even sure he ever owned one. Ice would also be a problem, but he thought, a bag of frozen peas or a steak would do, too. After a little search he finally stood with a clean towel, a bottle of vodka and some band aids in front of you again. Firstly, he gave you the peas.
“Show me your ribs” he commanded, and you lifted your ripped shirt. Your complete left side was crowned by an even bigger and darker bruise than the one on your face. He was concerned and hoped nothing was broken and yet he almost shivered seeing your bare skin. To him, you were the most beautiful thing in the whole world right now, even with your beaten face.
“Looks bad” he said and sighed as he sat down next to you and watched you putting the bag of frozen vegetables on your ribs, you hissed.
“It’s nothing. They’re not broken. Broken ribs hurt like hell and this is really nothing compared to that.” Johnny lifted his eyebrows in question.
“I broke my ribs a couple of times” “So you’re a tough cookie?” “You’re not the only tough guy on the block, sensei. I’m not a pussy.” you laughed and friendly nudged him with your elbow. He loved when you called him sensei. And he was excited about the fact that your language was so similar to his. He started to like you even more than he already did.
“Aright, alright. If this is nothing, let’s take care of your face then.”
He turned to you, in his hand the towel now soaked in vodka. He cleaned the crusted blood from your knuckles first. Then, he took a deep breath, he carefully started dabbing the cut on your face. You clenched your teeth but didn’t make a sound.
“Good girl” he said, “No bitching or moaning, that’s good!”
You just watched his face, being just inches away from your own. You saw his concern; you saw that he cared, and your heart started pounding. Your glance followed his toned arms, eyeing his muscles, tensing under his motions. And when you looked at his eyes you saw that they were the bluest blue you have ever seen; you were about to pass out. He was so concentrated; he didn’t even notice you staring at him like a crazy person falling in love. It was only, when he finished sticking the band aid to your face, he realized you looked him straight in the eyes.
He said nothing, you two were just stuck in this moment, sitting on the couch, so close your legs touched, looking at each other, your face so close to him, he felt your hot breath. And then, something in him snapped. He wanted to kiss you!
“I’m gonna kiss you now, (Y/N)!”, he immediately voiced his thought and stroked your unharmed cheek, not asking for permission, just announcing what he was about to do.
“Yeah?” you managed to breath out almost completely silent. And the answer crushed promptly down on you. You closed your eyes and instantly felt soft lips on yours. Johnny, your neighbour Johnny, the Johnny who was so much older than you, the Johnny who you were crushing on since the moment he helped carry your boxes, was finally kissing you. The bag of peas slipped out of your hands and you let them rest on his thighs. Johnny was pulling you closer to his chest until there wasn’t any space left between you two. He was urging and yet so gentle, doing everything to not hurt you. He caressed your back, his left hand dug into your messy hair giving it a slight tug, but not once did his lips leave yours. After what seemed an eternity and yet just a second, he let go of you and pressed his forehead onto yours, out of breath, smiling because he just couldn’t keep himself from not doing it. You joined him.
“You’re gonna go out with me some time now, right?”, he asked laughing in disbelief of his own courage and what it have brought him. Now this question seemed so easy.
“Yeah, pick me up after my yoga lesson tomorrow” you giggled, “Maybe you’ll get another look at my ass”
“You bet!”
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i-watch-too-many-movies · 3 years ago
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5 Favorite First Viewings of July 2021
Quick note: Hi everyone, I'm back, things have honestly been getting better for me, and I'm glad to be on this site full of cinephiles, people that are too horny, and cinephiles that are too horny. I'll be more active on here. But anyway, let's talk about some movies.
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970) (dir. Russ Meyer)
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CW: Abortion mention
What a picture. What a gorgeous, sexy, horrifying slice of what Hollywood and star life can do to a bunch of bright-eyed young people looking for success. Also is a critique of how macho nature can ruin friendships and romantic relationships with total ease. I was obsessed with the scene transitions, like Pet pouring pancake mix onto a plate after the abortion scene, or Kelly singing after someone screams before their murder in the opening scene.
Great, campy flick with exceptional music too.
Deep Cover (1992) (dir. Bill Duke)
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Laurence Fishburne plays Russell Stevens, a Cincinnati police officer who hopes to do well by the community, to make a difference. He’s traumatized by the death of his substance-abusing father, and wants to make sure that he can help the people of his own town. He goes undercover on assignment as a drug dealer, where his boss orders him to take down the kingpin. Stevens realizes the police’s own failings while on assignment. The racist abuse he takes from Agent Carver, and the realization that the police department is protecting drug kingpins like Gallegos and Barbossa. Giving drugs to Black kids and Latinx kids so there will be less of them. The cops are no different than the drug kingpins looking to make filthy amounts of money.
Fishburne’s performance is excellent, as Stevens feels he has to maintain a stone face so he doesn’t get caught by Jason or Barbossa or any of his cronies, but also he maintains a stone face to try and hide his emotion, his trauma. But when he gets pissed, Fishburne acts it beautifully, as is when he has to deliver a funny quip to counter Jason’s douchebaggery. And the production design, holy fuck, the sets and the lighting.
A perfect neo-noir for the HW Bush years, arguably one of the most timeless commentaries on the era, as well as the police as a whole.
Fast Five (2011) (dir. Justin Lin)
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I was torn between including this or Furious 7, but I ultimately went with Fast Five because it felt like an important turning point in the series, it's a great heist film, and it reached the same chaotic highs and genuinely excellent filmmaking that I had been waiting for since 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift.
Fast Five opens where Fast & 4ious left off. Dom is hauled away to prison on a bus. Mia and Brian drive in their high-tech cars and knock the bus over, helping Dom escape. The title drops. Fast Five. It’s such an intense yet short action scene, and dropping the title immediately after it lets the viewer know that this movie is not fucking around. It’s arguably gonna be more intense and insane than the previous one.
And it is. The filmmakers made the decision to use a lot more practical stunt work for the film, and as a result, it leads to, so far, the best action in the entire series, since 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift. It’s not just how it’s shot or edited, it’s the geography of the locations, the rooftop chase echoes the rooftop chase of Jackie Chan’s masterwork Police Story, particularly the way each character bounces from top to top.
And of course, there’s the silliest moment in the movie, the one that matches the intensity and kineticism of a film like 2 Fast, which is driving the Reyes’ bank vault throughout the street, getting chased by corrupt cops.
I know we make fun of Vin Diesel for saying “family” all the time in these films, but there’s a reason we remember him saying all of these impassioned monologues. Because he’s unbelievably sincere, and has so much love in his heart for every single person in the room. Anytime he delivers a speech to any of them, it’s genuinely heartwarming.
This is the film that finally shows La Familia in their best environment, which is working together, in a movie genre that allows them to work together, which is a heist film. And a great one at that.
Last Days (2005) (dir. Gus Van Sant)
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CW: Mention of suicide
Several films have been made about legendary rock artist Kurt Cobain, and for good reason. He is one of the most tragic figures in rock and roll. A tortured genius who has written and performed classic song after classic song with his band Nirvana. He was called the voice of a generation, and helped change the face of mainstream alternative rock music as we know it. But with that fame, and all of those expectations came a worsening depression and further drug abuse, and his eventual death. But most of the films about Kurt Cobain ask one question which gets under my skin way too much:
“Who REEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY killed Kurt Cobain?”
It was him. He did. And it’s okay, I’m sad too. Thinking that Kurt Cobain was murdered is completely ignoring the depression that he faced. And despite Last Days being more inspired by the death of Cobain rather than actually about it, it feels much more honest than the conspiracy documentaries on his death, wanting to leech off of his dead body.
This is the last installment of Gus Van Sant’s “Death Trilogy”, the previous two installments being Gerry (2001), and Elephant (2003). While I have not seen Gerry, I have seen Elephant though, and love that film for its minimalist, raw nature, and its boldness for not romanticizing the school shooter or the lives they had taken. Last Days falls into that trap once, as I don’t agree with the shot of Blake’s soul climbing up a ladder, that always struck me as cheesy in a film that is anything but.
Last Days is similar to Elephant in terms of the way it is filmed. Its usage of long takes, and still shots of characters doing various things, such as Blake playing his guitar behind a drum set. The way these moments are shot is similar to a Chantal Akerman film, particularly Jeanne Dielman. Where the acts of the mundane are the stars of the film. Blake wanders around an empty house, and the viewer can feel the pain, not just through Michael Pitt’s acting, but from the house itself. Its decay, its paint peeling from the walls, from the soft glow of the lamp that lights his face.
I say this is the most honest film about Kurt Cobain, because, despite the characters technically being fictional (the main character who looks, walks, and acts like Cobain is named Blake), this film focuses on the mental state of a person before they eventually take their own life. They’re still working, still making music, still trying to talk to friends and bandmates, but the depression lingers on. Not once does this film try to make you believe that someone else killed him, because you can see the signs of his own suicide taking place just through the film’s excellent cinematography by Harris Savides, showing his mental state only growing worse through the production design.
And it’s empathetic with him. There’s no judgement for leaving rehab, there’s no finger-wagging at him or the people he was with, there’s just a silent prayer at the end of the film, hoping that he is in a better place than he was.
Sometimes you don’t need to show every event that led you to where you are, all you can show is the moment, which also makes this better than most biopics as well, as it never feels messy or muddled, just showing one moment of Blake/Kurt’s life.
I really loved this film, and I’ll be writing about it in full soon.
The Village (2004) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan)
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The Cracked.com/Channel Awesome audience stuck in 2012 will tell you that this was the beginning of the end for Shyamalan. That this was when people stopped taking him seriously, that this was when he became more of a punchline because of his twist endings.
But why?
The Village was released in 2004, deep in the Bush administration, during the early stages of the Iraq War. The leaders of the time were talking about imaginary boogeymen, terrorists that would attack the civilians if they could. Because of 9/11, politicians could get away with these false ideas with the majority of Americans fully believing them. The boogeymen in The Village are “The People We Don’t Speak Of”, monsters attracted by the color red. Yet we find out that they are all costumes made by the Elders of the land, designed to prevent people from going outside the land. They rule by fear disguised as love. They’ve gone through their own traumas through the deaths of their family members, but they’ve decided to completely abandon the lives that they’ve had and have their children living lies.
9/11 impacted American life by teaching citizens to live primarily by fear, to not trust anyone but their own people. And yet, post-9/11, all that increased was not “coming together”, but hate crimes against South Asian people. The rage white Americans had felt led to conservative politicians pushing fear-mongering agendas, and said white Americans blindly accepted. The outside world was progressing, but too many people were fine with living with further conservative politics only regressing American life further and further back, all for the illusion of safety. Meanwhile, the only threats to them were not the brown citizens outside of America they were so afraid of, but the white elders, the white politicians.
The Village explores these fears so eloquently, all while having a terrifying atmosphere, an enchanting score, and brilliant sound design. I enjoyed this movie very much.
Other viewings I enjoyed:
Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996) (dir. Mike Judge) (re-watch)
Blow Out (1981) (dir. Brian de Palma) (re-watch)
Clueless (1995) (dir. Amy Heckerling) (re-watch)
Furious 7 (2015) (dir. James Wan)
The Long Goodbye (1973) (dir. Robert Altman)
Lupin III: The First (2019) (dir. Takashi Yamazaki)
Unbreakable (2000) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan) (re-watch)
Velvet Goldmine (1998) (dir. Todd Haynes)
The Visit (2015) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan)
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akampana · 3 years ago
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Prompt n.24 sounds very interesting. Arturia is a king, but also a knight. And the one thing a knight has by their side, is their trusted weapon...
But we know that sometimes, a weapon is not just a weapon. Sometimes its much more...
Right, Cu Alter?
24. “You will never lose me. I will always be right here beside you.”
Cu Alter x Arturia
One-shot, set in a world where Cú Chulainn and King Arthur exist in the same time period. Enjoy! Thanks for the ask!
___
A loud clang resounded within the stone confines of the throne room, and yet it was quiet compared to the storm raging hell outside, and quieter still to the turmoil that wracked King Arthur’s mind.
Tristan’s desertion was followed by those of a number of knights. The first crack in the glass foundation that kept Camelot’s flag flying high. The exposure of Lancelot’s affair, however, was the hammer that finally smashed it to smithereens. Now here she was left amongst the rubble, with an aggrieved Gawain, a conflicted Bedivere and the cold, dead body of poor Agravain, who fell victim to her excommunicated First Knight. Arturia did not know where Merlin was. Kay had left months ago with all his fortune. She needn’t be a genius to know he wasn’t coming back.
What the people demanded was revenge for King Arthur’s cuckolding: the hunt and execution of the treacherous French knight that fled to his homeland, to whom Arturia held no grudge. Her logic demanded she carry out the farce, but what remained of her sealed-up heart did not.
From this derived her conflict, which she wrestled in solitude, here at the glaringly empty Round Table that used to seat her comrades.
Pursue the man she’s forgiven or stay her hand? Give the people what they want or stand by her own beliefs?
Arturia flinched as cool metal brushed against her fingertips, her startled eyes climbing to meet orbs the color of the wine she just spilled.
“King—!” the glare he sent her stilled her tongue at once, his inhuman crimson eyes glowing in the dim candlelight.
“Cú,” she corrected herself, wrapping her cloak tighter around herself. Her thinner night garbs did little to hide the secret of her sex. In the dead of night, she wasn’t expecting any visitors. Especially not at the Round Table, which was devoid of all life at this hour.
“Has your fire gone out for the night?” she said, twisting her father’s silver ring around her thumb as she spoke, “I will arrange for a servant to assist you at once—”
“Forget it,” interrupted the brutal warrior, reclining himself into Lancelot’s former seat as he poured his own goblet. “Can’t sleep in all this racket.”
She knew instinctively he didn’t mean the storm. Regretful green eyes inspected the mess in the corner, wasted wine that was a victim to her ire. Briefly, she wondered how the foreign king could hear her from all the way in the east wing, but it was hardly important. Cú was already a man of few words. He wouldn’t waste any on small talk.
“Yer gonna chase the bastard, aren’t ya? It’s what yer subjects want,” came his raspy declaration, cutting in through the silence just before a crack of lightning illuminated the room. Their eyes clashed in the glaring white light, blood orbs against evergreen.
“I can...I cannot deny them the justice they expect of me,” she answered, grief lacing the small voice that barely carried itself through the thunder.
“So you deny yerself. Just like you’ve done all yer life. Ain’t that right, Arturia?”
It took King Arthur a moment to fully grasp what had come out of his lips. Her breath began to labor as she wracked her brain for an excuse. Panic settled into her bones faster than the snow outside seeped into the grass. Before she could formulate anything, however, she felt Cú’s fingers encircle her wrist.
“Relax. I ain’t telling no one. Weapons don’t talk, remember?” he soothed, as much as an emotionless killing machine could, anyway.
“You are not just a weapon. We have been over this.” Arturia shot back, momentarily forgetting the source of her stress.
As her frantic breaths began to still, she managed a small question. “How long have you known?”
His claws released their grip, lamenting the small indents they left on her skin. “Since ya wasted yer fourteenth seat on a foreign king that once would have torn yer land asunder.”
Cú reached past her arms, lifting the wool cloak from the short king’s chest. Sure enough, he now had his confirmation, a modest chest that was so cleverly hidden behind her armor plates.
“‘Tis of little consequence to me,” he voiced, replacing the garment she pulled so closely around herself. She watched him as he gave her another glass of wine, trying to discern if he spoke the truth.
“I don’t bloody care about what’s between yer legs, the same way you never cared for this fucking tail that trails behind me. All I need to hear are yer orders,” her allied king continued, flicking away a loose strand of hair with the scaly appendage.
“If ya wanna kill Lancelot, Arturia, I’m with ya. Point me in the way of France. But if not, then gimme some other fucking command. I don’t give a shit, as long as it’s what ya want.”
The King of Knights pursed her lip, still unaccustomed to hearing her real name from one who wasn’t supposed to know her secret. Especially when the one who used it was someone she did not expect: the displaced King of Connacht, who was more frequently an envoy serving at her court as an allied Warrior of the Round Table than the ruler of his late queen’s territory. The latter job, Cú had delegated to Fergus, as the “Mad” King had chosen to dedicate his freedom to the one that liberated him.
Arturia shook off his crass manner of speech. After nearly a decade of having him by her side, she’d grown accustomed to his language, even if he was frequently scoffed at by Agravain and Gaheris when the siblings still lived.
The reminder of her knights’ deaths led her gaze back to her table and its empty seats. There were so few that still belonged to the living. Some of them were never to be filled again. Arturia turned to her right, to where Lancelot once sat, meeting ruby eyes instead of onyx ones.
“Then how about this,” she suggested, imprinting the Irish King’s face into her memory the same way she’d done for the rest of her knights. Slowly, she slipped off the silver ring she’d been fiddling with and slid it onto his pinky.
“Return to your homeland with as much gold as you can carry and my eternal gratitude. Take a fourth of the cattle. Reward each of those in your service with one and keep the rest to enrich Connacht.”
Thunder raged on outside the castle walls, but it was the silence of the king before her that unnerved Arturia to a ridiculous extent. For while neither were as talkative as her remaining nephew, the quiet had never been quite so tense.
“The hell?” Cú finally asked, glaring at the Pendragon ring with disgust instead of honor. “You’d have me run? Do ya think me a coward—”
“—I think you are a king that should not die for the flag of a kingdom that is not his,” she cut him off, grasping his hand before he could tear her father’s ring off. “You asked for an order. This is it.”
Cú Chulainn’s claws dug into the collar of her cloak, as he pulled her to his face, a menacing look upon his countenance.
“An order?” he grunted harshly, “Or a feeble attempt at driving me away before I can leave you?”
Arturia’s struggles suddenly ceased, her limbs going limp before the foreign king finally let go of her clothes. The chairs screeched as each ruler fell back onto them, the older one far more irate than the younger.
“That’s what this is about, isn’t it?” Cú murmured, his voice soft as his fist thudded onto the circular table. “Ya’ve been an absolute tool since that depressing redhead turned in his rank, and some thoughtless fools followed. Then ya let Lancelot leave, don’t even bloody try to tell me he got away.”
Arturia turned her head, hiding her eyes behind her hay-colored hair. It mattered not how her charisma could sway crowds, her tongue knew not how to lie. Green eyes searched the empty room, counting the few chairs that would be occupied tomorrow. Her sister’s remaining sons’, Bedivere’s and...oh, how very few.
Arturia rested her hand on his fist, urging him to keep the heirloom as proof of the great service he gave Camelot.
“Go home, Cú. I cannot...I cannot lose you, too.” the British king sighed, getting used to the chill of solitude. She’d always known that a life as king was a life alone. At least with Cú, she could choose the day he left, instead of spending her time counting the days till he made his exit, just like her knights, her wizard, her brother.
“Don’t ask something so fucking stupid then go looking so damn pitiful,” he responded, flipping their hands and dragging her into his space till her lips touched his.
There was a reason Cú had stayed, pawning off Connacht to someone else that deserved it more and joining Camelot’s court instead. Not only had Arturia broken the geis that kept him tied to Medb, but she also gave him purpose.
Cú never spoke of it, but he remembered their first meeting like it was yesterday.
It was on the battlefield, back when he was still bound by geis to serve another mistress. Medb, the sly vixen, had tricked him into her service, forcing him into the frontlines till he’d slain every single one of his former comrades.
Bathed in the blood of his friends, the red clouding his vision, the man who was once Ulster’s proudest warrior was no more. His valiant face was replaced by a monstrous visage, his armaments were stained black. Upon his head sat a crown of thorns, forced onto his head by a queen who knew nothing but chaos.
Before long, the name he was proud to take up had been given new meaning. He was no longer Ulster’s guard dog, but Medb’s rabid hound, who sunk his teeth into anything and everything that so much as irked the devilish queen. Cú Alter, she called him, now that she’d bent him to her tastes. Cú Alter, a fitting name to a warrior forced to tarnish his own title.
As the bodies piled up around him, no rhyme nor reason for their slaughter, Cú began to see himself in a darker light, grasping at straws for some sort of purpose behind all the mindless killing.
He must have been a monster. A monster that massacred all that stood in his way regardless of honor and glory. Yes, that must have been it, he convinced himself, finally submitting to the dark cage that his hated loathsome queen had put him under.
As the black chains dragged him deeper and deeper into his own personal hell, he took up his spear once again. It lashed out whenever he touched it, staining itself dark till the vibrant red he used to wield was nowhere to be found. Once more, to the battlefield, said Medb. Once more, he tore across it with a godlike ease.
Then suddenly the cursed spear collided with its match, a sword of shining light that glowed as bright as its wielder. He remembered the moment so clearly, his breath hitching at his throat as his strikes were pushed back, the wind pressure whipping his hood out of his face. His heart pounded with adrenaline as his gaze fell down to his opponent: a tiny little thing, so small they should have fallen to his last strike, but there they still stood, defiant green eyes staring up at him with no fear.
Rage overtook his figure, fueling his strikes as he tried to cast the small warrior back, but all his efforts were met with equal force.
“My name is Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot.” a small voice, too fragile to have been a man’s, rung out across the battlefield. Spear met sword once again, pausing in their dance.
“Your name, knight.”
Even though he stayed on his feet, it was like the king had pulled the rug from under him. Their eyes locked once more, and he saw himself within the green irises, staring mouth agape at his opponent.
His name? His name? How long had it been since he’d been asked for his name? How many foes had he slain since then? How many nameless faces had he sent to the grave? How could this person, this puny king, take one look at his monstrous form and face him like a knight regardless?
“Cú Chulainn,” came his raspy voice, which too often had been used to roar like a beast. It felt foreign on his lips, which had ‘til then spoke nothing but bitter resentment.
That day, Arturia saw more than the monster. More than the weapon he’d disillusioned himself into being. Cú followed the king after Medb’s defeat, intending to find some proof that it was all a fluke, but it never happened. Arturia never treated him or her knights like a weapon or a tool. Arturia treated him like an equal.
And now, years spent the line, she was robbing him of that feeling, sending him away with glory and riches. If he were younger, he’d have jumped at the prize of heroic fame, but that was no longer what he wanted. What he wanted was to be right here, right next to the person that made him feel human again.
As their lips parted, Cú sent a glare through the empty seats of each of the deserters. He’d never understand how they could leave their king behind. He’d met his fair share of monarchs— hell, he technically was one—and even as belligerent a person he was, he wouldn’t wield his spear for any other.
“You will never lose me,” Cú declared in between rough kisses. “I will always be right here beside you. Understand?”
The Irishman returned her ring as she nodded, breathless, into his shoulder. She had one. Even if the world were to turn on Arturia, she still had one. One that would stay forever beside her.
Beside her...
Beyond Cú, the shorter king saw the backrest of Lancelot’s former seat, and finally, she knew just what to do to settle the people and follow her heart at the same time.
“Disregard my previous orders. Heed this instead…”
As the words left his king’s lips, Cú Chulainn proudly grinned.
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kenpxchi · 4 years ago
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hellish. || origin
Hell in the world of Bleach is a crazy place.
In the movie and novels, it is given far more lore than in the manga, with its own locales. However, the interesting thing about Hell is that it predates the creation of the three main worlds of Bleach (Hueco Mundo, Soul Society, and the Living World). Moreover, as revealed in Can’t Fear Your Own World, the Soul King was born into a world overrun by Hollows, and was essentially the first Quincy, as they completely eliminated any Hollows they found, but their actions earned grave consequences.
Interestingly enough, the existence of Hell predates the existence of even the Soul King itself. It has somehow always been there, always accepting those worthy of its punishment. Moreover, Hell seems to have an affinity with Hollows and those with Hollow-like abilities, trying to draw out the Hollow within.
In light of this, here’s my theory: Hell is the ultimate origin of all Hollows, and Kenpachi has a connection to it.
I’m gonna be making some crazy cosmology theories below the cut.
Exhibit A: Chains and Fate
Hell is bound by a gate of chains, and any sinners who escape it are forcibly dragged back by chains that link them to Hell. Similarly, when a soul becomes a Hollow, its Chain of Fate is completely dissolved through the process of Encroachment. Moreover, when the soul of a sinner, a Togabito, manages to escape hell, they must constantly hide their face with a mask. Moreover, in the manga (Volume imaginary number 01. the unforgivens, which is helpful if you want icons of Szayel & Aaroniero), it is revealed that Hollows and even Arrancar, who are composites of hundreds of thousands of Souls, retain their original form in Hell.
So, here’s my theory: the first Hollows were Togabito who managed to escape Hell by severing themselves from the chains that bound them and wearing masks to remain hidden, but in the process, they lost their identity and became monsters. As for why Arrancar appear in Hell, it is likely so that the individual souls that make up their being can slowly be torn away and sifted through, so that the innocent souls can leave and the guilty remain trapped. In the beginning, since there was no life or death, there really only remains one dichotomy between the unified world and Hell.
The unified world was where good people lived in peace, and Hell was where bad people were punished. Or, at least, the bad people who got caught. And this has remained Hell’s purpose for the entirety of time immemorial: to punish Togabito and make them suffer. Which brings me to my next point.
Exhibit B: The Denial of Suffering
Now, as we all know, due to the Soul King completely erasing the Hollows, the balance of the world began to destabilize. The Soul King was willingly split into pieces by the original five Noble Houses of the Soul Society, and the world was divided up into three different pieces: Hueco Mundo, Soul Society, and the Living World. However, there are some pretty significant plot holes which I hope to address.
Why would the Soul King’s actions destabilize the world if there was no life or afterlife, and therefore, no balance of souls between them?
Simple. Hell was being denied its suffering. By completely annihilating a Hollow, you’re essentially destroying it quickly, cleanly, and without any punishment for its misdeeds. Hell, obviously, is going to be very angry about this, as it was robbed of its escaped prisoners, assuming my cosmology theory is correct. This would definitely lead to a destabilization event. The caretakers of Hell, the Kushanada, are indestructible juggernauts who eat sinners (this is what we in the business call foreshadowing, kids).
You would not want them getting mad and coming out of Hell to ruin your day, Soul King or not, because not only are they entirely indestructible, they can pool their power together into a single entity (or person, if you’re the protagonist) capable of damning someone to eternal torment. No matter what you can do, no matter how strong you are, if the Kushanada deem you a sinner, and all unite to come after you, prepare for literally eternal pain.
So, now the decision to take a nigh-omnipotent and omniscient god, cut him into pieces, stick him in a crystal, and split the world apart sounds a bit more reasonable considering the alternative would be to doom the entirety of all sentient beings to unending agony at the hands of the Kushanada.
Why would the Soul King agree to being sealed in the first place?
Simple. He realize that if his actions doomed the entire world to Hell, that whatever fate awaited him there would be worse than being dismembered and sealed away for eternity acting as the lynchpin between all three worlds. Faced with this choice, any sane person would take the option with less pain... as grisly as that option may be.
Why would the Soul King create a place for Hollows if he wanted to kill all of them?
My guess is that if the Soul King was kind enough to be hacked up for the sake of the world, the reason he was completely erasing Hollows in the first place was in order to protect them from eternal torment in Hell. Unlike the Kushanada, who thrive on making sinners suffer forever, the Soul King likely held the belief that people can change, and don’t deserve such cruelty. So, Hueco Mundo was created as a world that gives Hollows some respite from the horrors of Hell, which are apparently worse than a desert full of cannibalism and death. However, that’s me psychoanalyzing a character who has no dialogue in the manga proper, and is mostly used as a plot device until he dies. Nice job killing him, Ichigo.
Now, having patched up some of the plot holes with liberal application of assumptions and theory, let’s move on to Kenpachi’s connection to it.
Exhibit C: Suffering in the Separate Worlds
So, the Soul King and his five teenagers with attitude noble family heads all managed to appease Hell somehow. However, this likely wasn’t all they did to keep Hell from engulfing everything. Remember how earlier I said that the original, unified world was a place where only good people lived? Now, look at the three disparate worlds.
Hueco Mundo is a barren wasteland ruled by the strongest, who exploit and devour the weak. Soul Society is an authoritarian nightmare with a disparity in class living conditions so stark it’s worse than some caste systems. The World of the Living is... well. We all live in it, and we know how it’s going. So what happened to each of these three worlds to make them so bleak?
My guess is that Hell demanded to have its own little piece of itself in each of these new worlds, in order to make up for all the suffering that was lost due to the Soul King’s actions. It’s why Bleach is a horrifically depressing world. The Soul King defied the guys who believe in eternal punishment. Disproportionate retribution was bound to occur in that situation.
Now, to sprinkle in a little more theory. There are locations in these three worlds that have a strong connection to Hell. They aren’t set in stone; they’re simply the locations where the most suffering occurs. Kushanada are drawn to it, since it’s usually where their prey is causing trouble. One such location might be the Outer Rukon.
Specifically, Northern District 80: Zaraki.
The Nameless Boy
So, in light of all this headcanon lore and all these attempts to plug up the plot holes of Bleach, we come to the origins of Kenpachi Zaraki, the man who was born in the most hellish district in the Rukon. I’m still going with the idea of him being the son of a sex worker who fell pregnant and fled to Zaraki. However, we don’t know who the father is.
The mother goes into labor and dies in childbirth. Shortly after, her baby dies. However, because the baby is born in a literal actual hellhole, there’s an innate connection to the energies of Hell, which thrive on suffering. The baby wound up forging a connection to it, as its death in such close proximity to Hell at such a young age would likely grab the attention of the Kushanada, who would be somewhat miffed that they were denied such good suffering.
So what do they do? They decide to put a little piece of Hell into the baby, as retribution for their loss. And so, the baby boy comes back to life. He eats the corpse of his mother, grows old enough to escape the basement he’d been hiding in his entire life, and goes out to start killing.
This gives us a few interesting implications:
The reason Kenpachi doesn’t stay dead is because he cannot stay dead. He’s meant to be a piece of Soul Society forever corrupted by Hell, and to act as an agent of the Kushanada. It’s why he heals so quickly and just keeps getting back up no matter what he gets hit with.
Kenpachi’s impossible durability and horrifying strength come from his connection to Hell, as does his seemingly unending pool of reiatsu, mimicking the Kushanada.
Because Kenpachi gets stronger every time he dies, even after unlocking the unconscious seal he placed on himself, he’s tapping more and more into his connection to Hell whenever he dies.
When Kenpachi goes to the Living World, he is literally Hell on Earth.
tl;dr - Kenpachi is Bleach’s version of Ghost Rider.
Anyway, that’s my spiel. If there are any inconsistencies, feel free to DM me and let me know.
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eloquentgifs · 4 years ago
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DWJ Reading Project. Part I
As I said here, my 2021 resolution is gonna be READING EVERY DIANA WYNNE JONES BOOK I CAN FIND, and due to my love of making lists and taking notes, I’ve decided keeping track of this reading project here in this post, which I’ll keep updated as I make progress. It’s mostly for my own pleasure, but maybe it helps someone who wants to give it a try to this amazing writer and doesn’t know where to start.
Part II (1977 – 1981 & The Chrestomanci Series)
Part III (1984 - 1992 & Land of Ingary Series)
- Changeover (1970) I couldn’t find it, which it’s a pity because not only it’s her first novel, but it’s one of the few she wrote for adult readers. For what I’ve seen, it’s a political comedy about colonialism in Africa.
- Witch’s Business (also called Wilkin’s Tooth, 1973) It tells the story of two siblings who start a revenge/dirty work business to make some cash and ended up caught in a crazy plot of debts, witchcraft, old grudges, painting modelling and treasure hunting. I love how even this early in her career you can already find some of her creative trademarks, altought it’s not as polished as her future novels. Still, the characters and the dynamics between them are pretty good, the way everything unfolds is flawless, and it is a fun read in general.
- The Ogre Downstairs (1974) Three kids are dealing with the fact that her mother married a guy who’s rather grumpy and terryfing (the titular ogre), and that now the household includes him and his two sons. The story begins with the Ogre buying a chemistry set to each group of siblings, and they turn out to be magical, so a lot of crazy shit happens and they start to get along with each other as they have to colaborate to clean a mess after another before the ogre finds out. I must confess I didn’t enjoy that much the first half because everyone was being an asshole, but it improves as the characters own their shit and decide to be better. Magic here it’s merely an excuse, Diana just wanted us to learn empathy and how to build a good coexistence.
- Eight Days of Luke (1975) David is depressed because he’ll have to stay with his abussive relatives during the summer, but then he mets this weird kid with powers called Luke and they become bff’s. Unfortunately, Luke is also in bad terms with his own relatives and David will have to help him to hide from them. I’d say you’ll enjoy more this book if you have some basic knowledge on Norse Mythology, but tbh I think reading it without any clue about the subject might be interesting in its own way, because you’ll discover the stuff as David does. Great read anyway.
- Dogsbody (1975) This one it’s like two different premises mixed up together. First, we have this society formed by sentient stars and planets, in which Sirius was a very important figure until he’s judged and punished for murder, and we follow him while he tries to get free (and maybe prove his innocence?). On the other hand, I think Diana just wanted to write a dog POV. In any case, both ideas where combined perfectly, and the result it’s crazy good. Some trigger warnings tho: there are several depictions of animal abuse, and once again tons of emotional cruelty towards chidren (the main human character is an Irish girl being harrased and bullied by her own family because of her nationality and for having a father on the IRA)
- The Dalemark Quartet: · Cart and Cwidder (1975) It kind of reminded me of the first half of The Name of the Wind, probably because the main character is also a red haired kid who travels with his family all around the world performing with his lute (I figured a cwidder is some kind of lute?), and there’s also tragedy, politics, old foreshadowing songs and legends... But mostly because I JUST COULDN’T STOP READING, and I can’t wait to read the rest of the series.
· Drowned Ammet (1977) I thought the two previous books were rather darker than I’m used to see in Diana’s work, but this is a whole new level. It follows the evolution of Mitt from a sweet farm kid to a teen terrorist, so prepare for a main character full of hate, resentment and, eventually, self-loathing and a beginning of redemption. We also get to see his dynamic with two high born children, and it is super interesting how the prejudice and ignorance keep getting in their way so they can’t become 100% friends (as a contrast with those stories of rich and poor being bff’s without a single sign of how very different their POV of the world is, just by their different upbringings). I love friendships and found families as much as anyone else, but it is refreshing to see some realistic struggles and people caring for others even if they don’t get along perfectly
· The Spellcoats (1979) This one was very surprising, and I think it might require a re-read some time. The first odd thing about it is that it’s settled centuries before the previous books, in prehistoric Dalemark. Then the actual wtf comes from the structure itself: it’s a first person story, weaved into two wool coats (seriously, this concept is genius and so is the ending). The weaver is a girl who has to runaway from her village with his brothers and sister because they look like the people who’s invading their land, so their fellow villagers want them dead. There’s not a lot of action, but tons of little details and magic and family dynamics brilliantly written and I LOVE IT.
· The Crown of Dalemark (1993) This last book of the series brings back almost all of the characters of the previous ones, plus a time traveller from modern Dalemark, and concludes both the political/social aspect of the story and the more fantasy, mythical one. I love time travel stories so this really was my treat, because not only serves a plot purpose, it’s also used to let us know what happened with the characters of past Dalemark (although through the lense of historians, which is not as much as I would like to)
- Power of three (1976) At this point it’s clear Diana just loved to play with POVs and make us question every side of a story. I’d say this was the main theme of this book. It is present in the main character arch, who has to reconcile how he sees himself (as some average pointless dude) with how he’s perceived by others (everyone fucking loves him and consider him super wise and awesome). And it’s also the main conflict of the plot: the three races/species who live in The Moor HATE each other and constantly kill each other as animals but.... Well, it remind me to this episode of Star Trek. I love it when a story is used to show us how actually ridiculous some prejudices and bigotries are. I love it when they do it in ST, and certainly love it when Diana does it. Just let kids read and watch these things all of the time, please.
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