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atxxzist · 1 month ago

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someone worth loving | c.s

summary: everyone deserves to matter to someone, to belong in this bleak world, and to exist for a purpose... everyone but you

pairing: choi san x f!reader

genre: angst, fluff, romance, honestly idek but comfort? lots of trauma

word count: 4.9k

warnings: lots of insecurities and flashbacks, mentions of abuse, mentions of sex (the smallest), slight mention of drugs, slightly inspired by cherry 2021

a/n: idk if it might be confusing. it's a v diff style of writing i'm trying out and experimenting with. it makes more sense when you picture it like a movie lmfaoo sssfhfhfhkgd

you suppose everyone deserves to be loved--something not only exclusive to human beings.

you wish for every stray and abandoned animals in the world to find a home, somewhere to belong and to feel welcomed in the palms of their owner's hands--and that for every stray and abandoned kids to do the same--grow up to find their place in this world that with a lack of love, can turn even the strongest souls into broken pieces.

for there, love isn't just validation or appreciation--it is the knowing feeling that you matter, belong, and exist for something bigger than just yourself. and perhaps those things aren't so important for someone who's rightfully content in themself, but it might make the difference for someone who has nothing else to live for.

to matter, to belong, and to exist for a bigger purpose--everyone deserves to experience all these things, or at least deserves the chance to even if they wind up fallen in the end.

you're part of everyone, so what's with the irony that you feel you're the only one part of the demographic who doesn't deserve to be loved?

maybe the sentiment started when your mother left. your father calling her a 'fucking bitch' on her way out as the shattered vase painted the door a new dent and his screech filled the entire room before looking you in the eyes.

you were only eight years old then.

but he looked at you nonetheless. at your face and features that's a perfect mirror of your own mother--someone he now loathed with a passion, and all the scars and wounds on your body are the consequences of it.

for looking too much like her. for being your mother's daughter. for making his life harder. for simply existing.

or maybe it started with your first boyfriend. the first boy to give you real butterflies but also a broken heart.

you didn't know anything then--how to move your lips when you kissed for the first time, where to place your hands when hugging, or how to be someone worthy of being his girlfriend. you just knew you liked him.

but you were so carefree then, walking into the relationship wearing your heart on your sleeves and your soul bearing for him to see; no filter or anything, thinking that if you just be yourself, he'd like you just as much.

oh how wrong were you.

"i want to break up." you remember the day as clear as the weather that afternoon, the sun sitting high above the blue sky that was a little too harmonious while your entire world was crashing down in comparison.

"w-what? why?"

he didn't even have the courtesy to do it in person, the phone held up against your ear so tightly, you were sure he could hear the thrumming of your heart through it.

"because..."

"is it because i didn't go to that party with you last friday?"

or the friday before, and the one before that too. because you didn't like loud and crowded places or having to strike conversations with strangers. because you hated the smell of alcohol and especially how someone acted when they were under the influence.

"it doesn't matter why. i've already made up my mind," he answers almost instantly, but his voice rather calm like he must've practiced the exact response for the hundredth times.

because you weren't close with his friend group, all of them too extroverted and outgoing, you couldn't help but to feel out of place every time he brought you around.

but mainly because he finally listened to them... when they'd talk about how picky you are, how you thought you were too good for anything, and how boring you are... all while thinking you were a fool to their snarky side comments and patent dislike of you.

so it could either be your father or your first boyfriend, but it could also be your second boyfriend.

it's funny to think back to how confident you were at the time, ready to conquer love and all of its hardships, but your second relationship was a whirlwind of unexpectedness and more so because you thought you learned a lot from the previous relationship.

you were called picky so you tried to be more open-minded. went to places you usually would never go and even ate shit you knew you didn't like.

you apparently thought you were too good for anything, so you tried everything your boyfriend suggested whether small or big--so much to the point where it felt like you weren't even your own person anymore.

you were called boring so you finally went out to your first party and pretended like you belonged there for almost four hours while doing your best to act like it wasn't your very first time tasting alcohol.

you did all of that only for him to tell you that very sentence the same as your previous boyfriend did.

"i think it's best we break up."

at least he had the courtesy to say it to your face, but hell, it didn't make it any better. if anything, it was worse--the fact he was standing in front of you and there was nothing you could do to change his mind.

and when you asked him the same question you did before, it hurt even more to watch him say it in real-time.

"it just feels like you try too hard sometimes. like you're not being yourself, and i just don't know if that's someone i want to be with."

or maybe the sentiment didn't fully settle in until your third boyfriend.

the one where you thought you had it all wrong in your first relationship, which is why it lead to the doom of your second one so you made sure history wouldn't repeat itself because you really really liked him.

you were still "picky" but you also kept an open mind and never shyed away from trying new things if it made him happy.

you had your own hobbies and life outside of your boyfriend, but you were never short on showing interests or support regarding anything he did or was passionate about.

you were still boring, but went to a party once in a while and tried things just to try it, always setting your boundaries when needed and never going further than your limits.

you tried so hard to balance things out--between being too much and too little, always making sure you stayed somewhere in the middle because you really wanted it to work.

so naive of you to have thought that if you just did everything right, things would fall in place.

your last and third boyfriend made the heartbreaks of the first two relationships look like kid's play in comparison... by cheating on you.

the worst part was you never got an explanation for why he cheated--not even a mere phone call. you confronted him through texts and he broke up with you on the spot like it was your fault you caught him.

so that was that... all your failed attempts at love and why you were starting to think maybe you were just part of that small, unfortunate group of people who wouldn't ever matter in this bleak world.

you weren't someone worth loving.

"or maybe it's all of them?" san says, your gaze moving from the leaf you were playing with to perk your head up at him, both your eyes meeting.

there's your father; your first, second, and third boyfriend--then there's san.

"and why is that so?" your lashes flutter up at him as he rubs gently at your head currently resting on his leg, the night lit by the few stars peeking behind him.

"because that's just how it is, no? of course we all have our breaking point, but it's usually the result of things building up over time. for example, i didn't break up with my ex over that last event alone. we already had a ton of issues beforehand."

"so what you're saying is all my ex-boyfriends broke up with me because i gave them multiple reasons to?" you quip, your tone teasing and lighthearted just to get a reaction from him.

you met san your last year of university through a friend you shared a class with.

he had showed up in the library one evening after wooyoung, who bothered you every day in marketing class until you subconsciously gave into the growing friendship.

you thought san was quite endearing and definitely too cute, but you weren't looking for a relationship and the fact he already had a girlfriend made it easy.

the second time you met him, he no longer had a girlfriend.

you were definitely not hiding in the kitchen at the last college party you would ever attend, watching as people poured in and out of the entrance for the drinks right beside it, when you suddenly recognized a familiar face.

the light kick to his butt takes him by surprise, his reaction when turned around looks like he's about to give one back until he sees it's just you--his expression easing in response.

"hey," you greet, a coy smile on your lips. "thought you weren't gonna come. wooyoung said you'd be visiting your girlfriend."

"oh." he chuckles it off, not pained or anything. he's seemingly relaxed even uttering the following words, "i broke up with her."

you raise both your brows in shock before settling on a simple, "i'm sorry." not entirely sure what to say or do to console someone with an assuming fresh heartbreak (you were usually the one on the receiving end).

"nah, it's good," he brushes it off, everything about him right now from the way he stands and speaks with the smallest smile tells you he's not entirely sober. "she was a bitch anyway."

"you know, it's not nice to call any women a bitch," you tell him, crossing your arms.

"i'm sorry," he says, sounding like he actually means it, "i'm a bit high right now. someone offered me some pills right before i came."

you snicker at that. "i can tell."

you can't quite describe how things unfolded that night; it's strange--amusing even. you originally planned to be there for an hour only because you'd be graduating soon and had work in the morning, but you very much triggered a sequence of events when you sent that kick flying toward san's butt.

one moment you guys were in the kitchen, then the next, you're both going for a walk where he told you all about his ex-girlfriend and why he broke up with her.

"i commute to her two hours from and back every weekend, yet, she never wanna do the same for me. and then when i do get there, we either argue because she wanna go to another fucking party or be out with her friends. i know it's hypocritical to say that considering i'm here, but shit, at least i'm no longer surrounded by her and her equally obnoxious social circle."

"no, i totally understand," you assure him, both your shoulders brushing against each other's as the music from the house grows faint with each step.

"yeah, i said no more going to parties so she throws one instead. left the room after we got into an argument where she told me to go fuck myself; i finally went out after some time and find her dancing on some table like a stripper so i just straight out left in the middle of the night and drove the two hours back."

"that's horrible. and she didn't care you left?"

"not 'till the next morning at least. woke up to a bunch of texts from her asking where the hell i am and how dare i left, blah blah. i broke up with her on the spot then. i know, awful of me to do over texts but i didn't wanna deal with her any longer."

"i think you're totally in the right, though i do know firsthand how it feels to be broken up with over texts. in this case, i'd say she deserved it and i probably did, too." you contradict such a statement with a light laughter.

san slows down with his steps momentarily, turning to look you in the eyes, a small frown decorating his lips. "but you're so sweet and actually pleasant to be around."

your expanding laughter echoes through the empty street at the comment. "i mean, at one point your ex must've also been quite sweet and pleasant to be around as well if you got with her in the first place."

a quiet snicker falls from his lips, nodding his head because you do have a point. "i guess so."

one conversation turned into another, your legs started to get tired from all the circling around the block but your mouth going on and babbling nonetheless while you and san went through all the initial stages of getting to know one another in just that span of time.

from finding things you two had in common to competing in terms of who had the worse ex (spoiler: san won), everything felt so natural and seamless with him, you really couldn't help but to act impulsively that night.

"it was in my guts she was cheating because she always had flock of guys around her even when i was there so who the hell knows what she was doing when i wasn't. well... that and the fact she admitted to it out of spite when i broke up with her over texts."

a scoffing laughter bubbles from you, attempting to hide it but letting it loose when you see he finds it even funnier--the smile on his face bigger than one should be.

he adds, "the last two months of the relationship, she no longer wanted to have sex and made me felt like shit whenever i'd ask."

"i've gone a little over a year without sex. two months isn't too bad," you drop casually but regretting it almost instantly. you were trying to find a middle between consoling him and being relatable but it just comes off wrong and even dismissive.

you shake your head. "sorry, what i meant to say was--"

"no, you're good," he cuts you off, the amused look on him making you relaxed, realizing you're overreacting.

then, a short silence fall; a tension decorating the air that you've been trying to push back and deny, all of a sudden coming out of hiding in this moment.

"hey," he calls, your blinking lashes meeting his rather soft eyes, "do you wanna go back to my place tonight?"

that was all it took. all he had to do for your back to be pressed against the door of his barely lit bedroom, his hands all over you while he kissed and tugged at your lips as if he's done it for the thousandth times.

you never considered yourself one to sleep with someone you weren't in a relationship with, but you gave yourself up to san within a single night, stripping your clothes away and bearing your soul to him in the most vulnerable and personal way, and he did the same in return.

he kissed you like he meant it, touched you like he wanted you, and fucked you like he loved you.

it was a unique experience that had conflicts swirling in your chest the morning you woke up to the naked boy sleeping beside you, his toned and muscular figure a complete contrast to his serene state.

you left that morning without saying anything, not wanting to disturb his sleep and truthfully, not having much to say.

you didn't think much of what happened after. you didn't want to. you were completely fine with the fact you guys slept together once and that was it. you didn't wanna think about where you stood with san or what you guys were supposed to be because after your last relationship, you didn't think you were ready for another one until a long while.

you were also completely fine with the thought that maybe last night was san's way of coping, given he just got out of a relationship. you were okay with the possibility that you were a rebound.

so there was your father, all of your ex-boyfriends, and then san. but san wasn't like any of them--he was worse.

"so what you're saying is all my ex-boyfriends broke up with me because i gave them multiple reasons to?" you quip, your tone teasing and lighthearted just to get a reaction from him.

he shakes his head. "no, of course not. i genuinely don't know why they broke up with you at all."

he goes on to place a soft, gentle kiss on your forehead before backing up to look you in the eyes again; your heart sinking into your chest at the foreign feelings of safety and belonging.

a full day after the escapade, you got a text from an unknown number. san had managed to find you despite you initially wishing he didn't.

hey, i hope this is okay. i'm san btw 👋 we never exchanged numbers or anything so i had to ask wooyoung for yours. i'm sorry if this is a little creepy lol. i wanted to reach out soon but i wasn't sure if i should. please let me know how you're feeling and if this is okay (if it's not you can be honest). i really enjoyed our time together and i'm talking about every second of it (not just the end of the night)

the guilt you felt that day was unforgiving.

he was careful with his words and very considerate of you; the tone inbetween the lines assuring if you didn't wanna go further with this, you didn't have to.

so although there was absolutely no pressure, your impulsiveness got the best of you--a mix between trying to salvage the situation and your guilt, and having a genuine liking for san, you found the light in a rather dark void that maybe... it wouldn't be so bad.

you thought there was no harm in giving the relationship a try--that, with time, had a high chance of fizzling out just like all of your past relationships.

you thought that just like all the other men in your life, he would eventually grow tired of you... then he'd want to leave.

you thought that regardless of any predictions coming to life, you'd come out fine in the end. unscathed.

and for that, you got yourself into a position even worse than in any of your past relationships... because you learned early on that choi san was simply too good for you.

he picked up fast on what you liked and didn't like, so you never had to play pretend around him. if you didn't wanna go somewhere or do something, he always caught on and was perfectly fine doing what you'd like instead.

he encouraged you to be your own person with hobbies and a life outside of him while still being an integral part of your routine, sharing his passions and interests when he saw necessary to the relationship.

he didn't look at your scars and wounds of the past in disgust or judgement. instead, he loved to place assuring kisses on them and draw little stars over it--such gesture making your heart caved every time.

he never asked for more than what you could give--more than what he knew you were capable of, and it was a concept you were not familiar with.

it's a saturday afternoon when your hair's spread all over san's lap on the couch, both lazing around during the two days of the week you guys have time off work and even more time for each other.

it's the small moments like these that makes you feel at home. when you both can just enjoy the other's presence, and when silence speaks the loudest comfort.

you're just wasting time on instagram, scrolling endlessly when a certain video piques your interest: a slideshow and time-lapse of a couple from the very first picture they took together to the most current one--spanning over 10 years together.

"look, babe, isn't this cute?" you say, unable to help but share the excitement with san, replaying the video for him to see as the endearing smile on his lips bring one out from you as well.

without much thought, you let slip, "i wish to find a love like this." your eyes still to the screen and oblivious to the drop in san's expression.

"i love you," he suddenly says out of nowhere, your gaze moving to him immediately as your breath catches in your throat. "i love you, y/n."

for too long, you just stare at him. your words dying in your throat and all parts of your body unsure of how to respond to such a statement.

"thank you," you return quietly, trying your best to disregard the sight of san's chest deflating or the look of disappointment on his face.

you weren't familiar with someone liking you just for being you, but more so, you weren't familiar with being loved especially when you didn't try hard enough.

after all, you went into the relationship in the first place thinking it wouldn't work out.

everyone deserves to matter to someone, to belong in this bleak world, and to exist for a purpose... everyone but you.

you didn't feel like you deserved to be loved by san.

you jump at the sound of the door opening, your heart beating loudly in your chest at just his mere entrance into the apartment.

"hey baby, what's up?" he greets concernedly, happy at the sight of you but the text you sent and your current stance like a dark cloud hovering over him.

it was just a short and casual text asking him when he was gonna be home because you have to talk to him about something, but it was quite unusual and out of fashion for you.

you never bother him unless you know he's out of work.

"i'm going to japan," you break it quick and sudden, san doesn't even have the time to digest the meaning behind your words.

"japan?" he only repeats so casually, throwing his bag onto the couch before continuing, "yeah, we can go to japan."

you have to squeeze your eyes shut, a look of impatience on you that san doesn't miss. you don't wanna do it, but you have to.

"no, san. just me... permanently," you whisper the last word, your eyes to the ground because you feel you already know what his looks like.

"you don't mean--y/n, no." the switch up is fast once it hits him, going from realization to denial, pacing around the room and shaking his head. "you're not being serious."

"i'm serious."

"so what the fuck, this is it?"

you breathe an annoyed sigh, still in avoidance of his gaze. "look, i just need you to be mature about this."

"i wanna be mature about it but you've never even talked about wanting to go to japan, and now you just expect me to be fine with it?"

it was the first time you saw san truly angry, the look of helplessness and frustration that day on him like nothing you had seen before.

for once, you did the breaking up but the aftermath was nothing like you imagined. you thought you'd feel a lot better because you weren't on the receiving end this time, but you felt even worse.

it made you wondered if any of your exes felt like this. if they laid at night and thought about you. how much they hurt you and if they made the right choice--because those questions certainly kept you up many nights after leaving san's place.

"hey," you say upon the door opening, your walls already coming down at the sight of his disheveled hair and tired face, fighting the crack in your voice to even utter the following words, "it'll be quick."

there's still a couple of your things at san's place and you had asked earlier if it's okay you come over to get them. that, and that you want to say goodbye to him one last time.

he lets you in without saying anything and you head straight for the bedroom, picking up the few clothings of yours in the hamper and throwing it over your arm while he watches in silence from behind.

you definitely feel the hair raising at the back of your neck, not sure what to do or say and just trying your best to put on a show... that you're fine. that your heart isn't breaking into a million pieces at the thought of leaving him.

then you hear it: his soft, pleading voice like music to your ear that you've been missing so much for the past three days.

"please? can you please rethink this even just a little?"

you look over your shoulder to him standing at the doorway, his face and cheeks now flushed red making the incoming tears well at your eyes as you try to blink it away, turning back to stare at the hamper so he doesn't catch it.

"i know the relationship hasn't been perfect. i haven't been perfect. but if you just give me another chance i promise i'll do everything--"

he doesn't get to finish because you're full on sobbing and he's running to your side in an attempt to comfort you when really, it should be the other way around.

you shake your head, his thumbs at your cheeks and wiping away the tears as you finally look him in the eyes.

"no, don't say that. you're perfect, san," you tell him. "there's absolutely nothing about you that needs to be changed."

and it's one of the truest things you've ever said. something you should've said so long ago.

he was and is so perfect, it actually hurt... so much to the point that you started to get afraid the relationship wouldn't work out. that he'd end up being like all the other men in your life and want to leave you.

you thought if you did it first, it wouldn't be so bad.

"san," you call his name, his forehead pressed against yours and his breath ghosting the tip of your skin, "i'll be staying..."

you stop momentarily, san not saying anything almost like he knows you're not done. "and... i love you."

he smiles hearing those words and you think you can hear his heartbeat as he closes in on you to deliver a soft kiss to your lips. "i love you, too."

you always thought so much about how it feels to be loved, but never how it feels to love. that is isn't a one-way street--for someone to be loved, someone have to give that love first... and it was scary.

you liked all your ex-boyfriends, maybe even your dad as a father when your mother was still around, but you didn't love them.

"my father and all of my past relationships... i don't know which one is it, but i never felt quite the same after. like i was afraid i was just gonna keep disappointing anyone i come across," you open up, speaking your soul out to san under the dark night as the hill you're both laying on overlook the city.

“or maybe it’s all of them?” san says, your gaze moving from the leaf you were playing with to perk your head up at him, both your eyes meeting.

“and why is that so?” your lashes flutter up at him as he rubs gently at your head currently resting on his leg, the night lit by the few stars peeking behind him.

“because that’s just how it is, no? of course we all have our breaking point, but it’s usually the result of things building up over time. for example, i didn’t break up with my ex over that last event alone. we already had a ton of issues beforehand.”

“so what you’re saying is all my ex-boyfriends broke up with me because i gave them multiple reasons to?” you quip, your tone teasing and lighthearted just to get a reaction from him.

he shakes his head. “no, of course not. i genuinely don’t know why they broke up with you at all.”

he goes on to place a soft, gentle kiss on your forehead before backing up to look you in the eyes again; your heart sinking into your chest at the foreign feelings of safety and belonging.

you smile to yourself, pulling from his gaze and back to the leaf in your hand. "i appreciate such compliment."

because to love is to give a part of yourself to another person, and when they break that love, they break a part of you. you were so afraid of being broken again, you reserved that part even when san was willing to give himself up as a whole--and for that, you are so thankful.

whether you were being picky, snobby, or boring, he loved you through all of it. through all your scars and wounds and everything that came before him, he still loved and loves you.

he finds you worth loving even when you don't, and makes you feel like you matter to someone for once. that you're gonna belong and exist for something much bigger, and you hope your love in return does the same for him.

#me coming back like nothing #but anyway #ateez smut #san smut #ateez angst #san angst #ateez x reader #san x reader #choi san x reader #ateez imagines #san imagines

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violetseaslug · 5 months ago

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kang no-eul nsfw alphabet

⋆.˚✧───🌹───✧˚.⋆

tw: rough sex and typical kinky stuff like degrading, (consensual) exhibitionism, and edging

a/n: my requests r open! :D but pls keep in mind i suck SO bad when it comes to nsfw so bare w me!!! i might write another one of these things but w se-mi or other (female) squid game characters so pls put in a request if u want a specific character!!! 🐙 the octopus emoji is rlly cute anyways i LOVE mei i love my baby i love my gf ᯓᡣ𐭩

⋆.˚✧───🌹───✧˚.⋆

a (aftercare): treats you like a princess, she'll gently kiss you all over while braiding your hair

b (body parts, what she loves most abt ur body): your thighs. she loves laying between them, and she loves resting them on her shoulders and biting them before she begins eating your pussy like it's her last meal

c (basically anything to do w cum??): she'd def lick your cum off your thighs and make you taste yourself

d (dirty secret): she wants to tie your wrists together (and keep your legs apart) and keep a vibrator on the highest intensity against your pussy to see how long you can take it

e (experience): i don't think she'd be rlly experienced, she knows what to do but she was nervous the first few times, now shes cocky and never shuts up about the times she's made you squirt

f (fav position): doggy style... or against the wall w ur legs wrapped around her or smth like that (had to look up 'top 10 sex positions' for this...</3)

g (goofy, is she more serious or does she tend to joke around?): after a few rounds, she likes to lay down beside you to catch her breath so she might make a few jokes (not at your expense) but during sex she'd probably be entirely focused on your pleasure because she knows how vulnerable you are during sex

h (hair???????): she's shaved man idrk what to say for this one

i (intimacy, is she sappy/romantic during): yes. she is. although she's into dirty talk, she always remembers to praise you and tell you how gorgeous you look underneath her, squirming and overstimulated

j (jacking off?): probably either secretly teases her pussy to the nudes you've sent her or doesn't touch herself at all

k (kink): dirty talk, hair pulling, light spanking

"Just like that, my pretty slut. your pussy looks so fucking pretty when it clenches around my fingers like that, especially when your cum drips out, i can't wait to taste you."

l (location, where she likes to get freaky deaky): she's down BADDDD so she def likes doing it in the car or in the cubicle in the bathroom of a loud and crowded restaurant.

m (motivation, what gets her in the mood): she loves when you take initiative and show her just how bad you want her.

n (no, something she wouldn't ever do): force you into sex or pressure you into trying new things/experimenting, and she always uses a safeword

o (oral, giving or receiving): SHE KNOWS HOW TO USE HER TONGUEEEE she's always either teasing you with her voice OR eating u out like it's her last meal, she prefers giving

p (pace, self explanatory): depending on what you're in the mood for. she'll slam you into the headboard and manhandle you if you ask for it rough and hard, but if you ask her to be gentle she'll kiss your forehead and gently brush the strands of your hair from your forehead as she slowly pushes herself deep inside your pulsing pussy

q (quickie): like i said, shes downbaddddd. shes def into quickies anytime and anywhere.

r (risk): YES. she dgaf abt risks, she'd fuck u in an alleyway if ur both that desperate

s (stamina): she'll go on and on until you can't handle it anymore, she'll stop only when you're drooling and incapable of forming actual words

t (toys): she only owns a vibrator and a strap, both of them for you. but she wants to experiment w buying blindfolds and handcuffs.

u (unfair, how much does she like to tease): she LOVES to edge you and tease you about it after, she wouldn't let you cum until you're begging for it on all fours.

v (volume): i cant rlly see her moaning too much tbh, she mainly just whimpers and pants.

w (wildcard, random hc for her): you'd both attend a party, she'd take you to a random room and shove your own soaking wet lingerie in your mouth to keep you quiet while she pounds into you.

x (x-ray, what's going on under there): what the FUCK does this question mean... i don't know. ig ill js say she has a 9 inch black strap

y (yearning, how high is her drive): she's always desperate for u no matter the time or place, so pretty high.

z (zzz, how fast they fall asleep after): she falls asleep only when you're all clean, taken care on and laying down in her arms drifting off to sleep yourself.

#guard 011 #squid games x you #squid game headcanons #kang no eul #soldier 11 #kang no eul x reader #squid game x reader #squid game fanfiction #wlw post #kang noeul #kang noeul x reader #squid game s2 #squid game season 2 #squid game smut #guard 011 x reader #squid game imagine

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snapscube · 7 months ago

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hi!! do you have any infinity nikki tips to share? your outfits look really beautiful- i'm not caught up with the story yet, and i wanted to know if some of those shoes were from resonance, recharge or storyline/world? im struggling with the impulse to spend money (i'd feel fine doing like a single purchase or something, but my road with nikki has been paved with quite a bit of money already, so i'm worried about the slippery slope)

some of my favorite outfits in the game are legit just free stuff you find/earn by playing! a lot of the stuff i’ve shown off here are in-game rewards entirely for free either by crafting or doing styling challenges.

so far here are my big tips i’ve learned just w my own experience (and mistakes 😬):

- there are SO many clothes in the overworld, way more than you might expect. check every chest and shop you find WHEN you find it. it’s never not worth it even if it’s slightly out of the way. same with dews of inspiration! they will only get harder to locate as you clear more of the map so make sure you never pass up the opportunity to grab one. EVERYTHING in this game ties back to clothes one way or another, so it’s never not worth it to be interacting w all of the systems in one way or another.

- do not spend a ton of bling until you are further in the main story quest. it’ll be tempting to roll stuff like the wish o matic but if u blow all of your bling on it or anything else early on you WILL regret it later. bling is used for every other upgrade system in the game.

- make sure u are not capping out on vital energy too often, its super quick to run a realm of the dark fight or trade it in for collection insight if you’re close to cap and about to log off. its constantly replenishing and the currencies/materials you can get from it are so valuable down the line.

- i would HIGHLY ADVISE that you save the diamonds you earn exclusively to use for pulls on limited time gacha banners. the ones with the pink resonance crystals. do not use them to refill your energy, do not use them for the permanent banner pulls. you are going to need to do a good chunk of pulls to get everything u need from limited banners before they go and this will make sure you are minimizing the temptation to spend real world money when u dont need to.

- don’t skip out on leveling eureka! the system can be a tad confusing and somewhat de-emphasized at first but it’s low risk and so worth it. ANY well leveled eureka at all is better than nothing for styling contests. you can literally double your score with a good set of eureka, it can be the difference between an average or perfect score.

- speaking of styling challenges, try to unlock the mirror styling challenges as soon as u can! you will know them when u see them, i forget exactly how you unlock it but there is a weekly reset version of the challenge that gives great rewards.

uhhhh that’s all i can think of rn feel free to post other tips in the replies if you’ve been playing tho :)

#infinity nikki

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paintedonmyteeth · 7 months ago

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Hello!! I've been absolutely obsessed with homicipher lately, and I really love the fanfics and hcs you wrote for the characters so far!! You're a really great writer, your style and aesthetic is honestly so good!

I was curious if you had any headcanons for how Mr. Crawling, Mr. Hood, and Mr. Silvair would be with a cane-user reader that has severe leg pain? Like they typically use a cane to help them walk easier, but sometimes they can feel so much pain in their leg that it becomes too much to walk and they sometimes need to sit down or take a break?

Homicipher characters taking care of reader is one of my favorite types of things to read <3 I hope you have an amazing day!

Homicipher Boys w/ Cane!reader

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHh YES I love the concept gbejbfj and I could def see this as a huge cute thing w/ Mr. Hood especially. 10/10, Homicipher boys taking care of the reader are the best HCs hands down gbejfjwj and tysm it makes me happy to hear that others rlly enjoy my work!!!! :D

Mr. Crawling 𖦹₊⊹

⭑.ᐟ — Mr. Crawling as the absolute fucking sweetheart he is would want to be the biggest help for you when getting around certain areas of the Ghost Apartments.

⭑.ᐟ — At the same time, Mr. Crawling is also disappointed in himself he can’t be much of a help, it’s difficult for him to stand on his own feet for any longer than a few minutes considering he’s used to crawling around.

⭑.ᐟ — Which also means he can’t carry you :((

⭑.ᐟ — The best he can do however is help avoid any places like the boardwalk room with all the water or anything with a ladder so you’re putting less stress on your muscles and your bad leg.

⭑.ᐟ — Mr. Crawling does his best to try in protect you from any hostile residents (eg. the time you got kidnapped by Mr. Stitch), he’s not trusting anybody that’s not Mr. Silvair, or any other residents you’re not familiar with.

⭑.ᐟ — Ofc break times are also a must have so whenever there’s a room that’s safe to take a breather, he’ll basically lead you by the hand to take a seat and give your bad leg a rest. Cuddles are also given for a bonus <3

Mr. Silvair 𖦹₊⊹

⭑.ᐟ — Mr. Silvair being kind of like the scientist/doctor, he’s pretty much the best source in getting any help you need for your leg.

⭑.ᐟ — Considering meds or painkillers aren’t things that exist in this ghostly dimension, Mr. Silvair tries finding other alternatives in order to alleviate your severe pain in your leg. Maybe try to work and figure out some sort of 'cure' with what resources and tools he has.

⭑.ᐟ — So with getting a few checkups/experiments done on your body (aka the weird thing going on with your body slowly changing due to staying in the Ghost Apartments), Mr. Silvair also checks in once in a while to see how your leg pain is going and suggests in resting whenever needed. You’re basically more than welcome to use his spare beds when you need them most.

⭑.ᐟ — Mr. Silvair might’ve found something better from the room with all the trashed items like a crutch for example so you can lean your weight on it a little and it’s somewhat easier to walk around.

⭑.ᐟ — Eventually Mr. Silvair found someway to help out with your leg pains, ofc having injections doesn’t look like to be the safest in normal people standards but yk, you’ll take anything you can get to be free from the pain even if it’s for a small while.

⭑.ᐟ — You might not get around much at this point, but whenever you’re in Mr. Silvair’s place you stay around for a little while during your breaks and Mr. Chopped’s just there keeping you company. :)

Mr. Hood 𖦹₊⊹

⭑.ᐟ — Mr. Hood sees this as no problem at all tbh (It’s practically a W in Mr. Hood’s books).

⭑.ᐟ — Also fuck your cane honestly, he’s not thinking that ofc, but there’s no reason in needing one if Mr. Hood’s going to carry you all the time??? You can always rely on him to bring you to places you want to go.

⭑.ᐟ — You feel bad and selfish for taking advantage of Mr. Hood this way, but he’s honestly not complaining at all if he gets to hold you close like this whenever he wants. He’s not sure what the fuzzy feeling is but he just likes having you in his arms.

⭑.ᐟ — Sometimes you’d insist you’re able to walk on your own with the cane and you don’t need to be carried, Mr. Hood doesn’t think so, and he’ll still carry you anyways even if you don’t want him to.

⭑.ᐟ — It’s just looks so difficult seeing you struggle to get around certain places in the Ghost Apartments, there’s like a handful of dangerous things and you can’t run at all with that bad leg of yours.

⭑.ᐟ — There’s no need to feel guilty, even if Mr. Hood’s not put together or understand what he’s feeling most of the time, he’ll do anything to help out, keep you safe and protected. :))

#dead’s hcs #dead’s asks #homicipher #homicipher x reader #mr crawling #mr crawling x reader #mr hood #mr hood x reader #mr silvair #mr silvair x reader #fluffies #gn reader #divider creds: bloodibambiidoll

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astrologylunadream · 2 years ago

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When will I find love?💗⏳🌙 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hey it's Lunadream🤗 This time I bring you a lovely reading for a very lovely person!♡👆 hope you find your message🌸

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If something doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the love you long for, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🌸💞

Pile 1⏰

Pile 2☎️

Pile 3☕

Pile 4🌹

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 💕🍰⏳

Pile 1⏰

Sign energy: Close, 9th house, Resist, Pisces, Ring, 9th house, Sagittarius, Libra, Aquarius, 4th house, 🕊📚💤💆‍♂️

🌙Your energy: You are more reversed so to speak, you have been dreaming of the perfect relationship. I'm hearing enchanted "I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss" yes that's you😂💗 You are a hopeless romantic and you may be fascinated in many cultures and religions. You could be very smart even if you don't think so, you are a natural problem solver. You don't like conflict or bad vibes either! You may be more proper or well mannered. You are just so delicate and sweet-💗💗💗 You may fantasize about an outstanding love story with many plot twists and adventures, you're really hoping and searching for a message (omg here it is! :D) and you're waiting for devine timing to set in place. You may feel like you will be single forever but that's not the case💕 You could be very fun and artistic, you love fashion and might really be into vintage styles. You want a partner to be familiar and comfortable with, someone who is witty and romantic. All you want is to be held😩💗 You're such a pretty soul I swear. You may be into pinterest or spend a lot of time online, you could look at aesthetic photos and just spend a lot of time on your phone lol. You love learning and you really want to search for love, you are willing to go on a crazy adventure just to find it... your dream romance!☁️💌 You love dreaming and fantasizing a lot too, you want someone to hug and touch.

⏳When will you find love: Us, Face, Truth, Age, Right, Uranus, Libra, Venus, 8th house, Saturn, 🦊🚨🗯💧 Alright this is interesting.⭐ Some of you are most likely younger but not all, I'm seeing teens to early twenties, but that might not necessarily be the case I just see someone who is very youthful and you might not have many experiences with love yet!💓 I feel like my lovely pile 1 you're in the dreaming phase where you really want a partner and wonder what it's like to be in a commited relationship so for you, you're going to find love when you're ready to commit. So much will have changed by the time you find your person, like you might not even be the same person I think your ideas and views on love may be very different when this happens. You will most likely be very mature even, and I can see for some of you this could be a time where you have overcome your daydreaming phase you know, your fantasies about romance. You might have changed the way you give and receive love. Now this could be good or bad but I'm seeing good for most of you because you could've had a habit of overlooking red flags or toxic behavior due to your kindness or seeing things through rose colored lenses, you might have lacked realistic views on love so I feel like when you actually find love this won't be a problem for you anymore, you would have overcome this.✊💗 This will definitely be a more mature time in your life where you have learned a lot and you have so much control over yourself and what you choose to put your energy into~🌙 I'm getting with the 8th house energy along with Saturn energy, you may find love in a most subtle most unusual way. You won't be very aware that you have found love until your future someone is open about it, this could take time as your person might need to make their decision and honestly commit to you.💌🔗

💖Your future lover's energy: Kitty, Night, Mindfulness, Doll, At last, Sagittarius, Sun, Neptune, Cancer, Libra, 🦚♓♉🦢 Omg you guys your person is so sweet🥺💗 They have a big heart and they are very honest with you. This is such a fun and adorable person I swear like they're such a keeper.😫They could be a sagittarius or pisces, any of the signs cancer, libra, taurus.😇 They make you smile so much and they may love cats or resemble such creatures~ They have an unreal or almost doll-like appearance. This is a very loyal person their energy is so trusting and kind, they treat you so well and take care of you, they are so delicate with you from the way they speak to the way they touch you💗💗 They could be artistic or a dreamer too and when you two are finally together they will just feel so complete like "finally I found the one!"🙏😍 They're also a hopeless romantic type for sure even if they don't seem that way on the surface omg they crave romance. They really want to impress you and they always remember the little things!! Like they're so quick to remember that expensive item you like and buy it for you as a romantic gift♡ Did I mention they love giving you gifts? Like they're so stable too so the time you find love with this person you are in a mature state of mind so are they like you guys will be on the same page. They will have a well paying job and very reliable, and omg they're the type to come over just so you two can cuddle.🥰😭 They make things so romantic without getting boring, You guys will have such a warm feeling when you two are together.💐 They are your perfect partner, you just fit together!💗

If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the clock emoji~⏰ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 2☎️

Sign energy: Match, Sugar, Soul, Connection, First, Taurus, Sagittarius, Gemini, 3rd house, 8th house, 🤭🛩🙄😘

🌙Your energy: Oh you're so cool okay so some of you may be a taurus rising/taurus in the 1st house or maybe you desire these traits in a partner. You want someone you can really connect with on the deepest levels, you want a loyal companion and fun conversations!🪂 You could be very social and you like adventure, many people look up to you because you're so inspiring⭐ You could be a foodie or love sweets too haha most of you might have taurus in your chart~ You have a great sense of humor and you like being sarcastic sometimes, your laugh is so addicting😳🌈 People describe you as fun and chill. You like memes and funny videos. You might be really into other cultures and you may enjoy listening to music from different countries. You have a diverse interest in everything and you just have this super sweet nature about you. You might kiss your besties a lot and you love having fun with people.😆 You really want someone who complements you well, like someone who has the qualities you want. You could have sagittarius/gemini placements aswell, also scorpio for some of you. I wanna be friends with pile 2😂💫

⏳When will you find love: Lover, Siren, Surface, Violence, Above, 10th house, 4th house, 7th house, Venus, 👻🙆‍♀️🛩🧸 My wonderful pile 2 you're gonna find love when you have overcome so much omg, this is going to be a time where you feel so empowered and strong.✊💫 Some of you may have finally broken off from a hurtful relationship, someone who hasn't been out for your best interest. Pile 2 you guys may still be healing from that but just know that during this time where you find love, you will have recovered from past experiences that were causing you pain. Anything that's affecting you currently, you will have made it out of all that and you're feeling so free because things and people just don't affect you like they used to during this period when you find love pile 2 this is a wonderful sign of healing.⭐ You will be very successful at the time and so much progress will be made, you will be above toxic behavior above bad cycles that weren't serving you. That's why during this time you will be open arms to receiving healthy love and relationships, so chances are this will be a very important time for my pile 2's. You will be focusing on self care and in turn this will attract so much good energy and people toward you, your self is most important after all.💗

💖Your future lover's energy: Myth, Song, South node, Street, Winter, Eros, Earth, 5th house, Vertex, Jupiter, 🌧🥊🙅‍♀️🤔 Alright lovely pile 2 your person is going to make you forget about your worries, this us someone who will sweep you off your feet and they just have so much to offer you😍 Sagittarius and Leo placements can be found, lots of fire and earth energy. Could be more masculine energy for some of you. Your future someone is so attractive and they may be like a certain type of person you thought didn't exist like "No that's not possible people just aren't like that in real life" that's what you thought at first but when you meet this person you will be so surprised that like there are people like this omg they exist😭💖 They go above and beyond for you like, they're almost over the top with their love for you lol💐🌹🎁🛍🤗 I'm talking thoughtful gifts, romantic gestures, surprises and hella smooth like they know just what to say to makes you blush.😘 Your future lover could be born in winter (january, february, march) or that season could he significant for this connection. They are really good at impressing you like almost too good it always so crazy how good they are to you. They could be creative or into music, they are the type to make you a playlist that reminds them of you <3 I'm not kidding like be prepared for a whirlwind romance omg😂❤ They could wear street style clothing or be into cool fashion, they like to experiment with their look. You guys will have so much fun together and this is someone you will not be able to forget~💫

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the telephone emoji~☎️ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading⭐

Pile 3☕

Sign energy: Lost in translation, Kiss, Chains, First impression, Water, Vertex, Fire, 8th house, Moon, 5th house, 🍭😍🟦💘

🌙Your energy: You have a very mysterious aura to you my pile 3's. Let's see I feel like you have a lot of emotions, you are more sensitive so to speak. I'm getting a soft vibe from you guys like you're very sweet and kind but also I feel like you're secretly really hot lol😂 Some of you could be Leo's, Scorpio's or Cancer's any of those <3 You might get lost in your own head and thoughts sometimes and it gets really hard to think straight. You have an intense desire for love and it means a lot to you, you don't want to be hurt.🤚 I'm sensing that for some you have been in a long term situationship or a one sided crush on someone, there's definitely someone on pile 3's mind already.🤭💗 Ahh okay you guys are really hoping you've already found love/the person you're looking for. You fantasize about a deeply romantic and intense partner. Some of you like the color blue, navy and could have heavy water energy. You like sweets and desserts, some of you could be foodies <3 When you're in love you're all in💞 lovestruck type for sure~ Valentines day is your jam. You guys are idealists and you have so many goals you want to achieve, you are interested in so many wonderful things too. You may really gravitate towards creative hobbies or supernatural things like spirits and the occult.🕯

⏳When will you find love: Blind, December, Unseen, Network, Ladder, Aries, Aquarius, 8th house, 10th house, 2nd house, 🥰💆‍♂️🧛‍♀️🎯 Omg so you guys are gonna find love when things get REAL lol you're going to be so successful during this time and this could be really soon omg like almost 3 months from now even.🙉💗 Ahh I'm so excited okay so you might find love when you start something, something BIG. I mean like a business or new job, for many of you I see social media fame and getting lots of money from that. (youtube channel, blog, online business, ect.💼💸) You are gonna be in your boss b*tch phase when you finally find love you guys.👏 I can see success in practically anything for my lovely pile 3 so be ready!! There might be something you've been working on like a project or hobby just something you have been building for some time now and this is gonna pay off so much during this time⭐ I see so much recognition for you guys and that's why you're gonna find love so easily omg this could happen very quickly too🚀 For some of you your future someone might be a secret admirer of you, someone you don't know yet when you achieve this success. Just know you will be on the right track you know exactly where you're going and how to get there so this person is going to be so ready to come into your life because they see you working so hard and they just really wanna be there for you like this is your moment to shine~☀️ Just know everyone will be watching you lol the tea is real☕ It's also likely that you will have many admirers when you find love.

💖Your future lover's energy: Reach out, Locked, Art, Collarbone, Actor, Sagittarius, Leo, Uranus, 12th house, 1st house, ♒🥴🌧🔦 Ooh your person is will be so into you😍 They have this really magnetic look about them that just pulls you in, they're outgoing but so creative and dreamy💘 They have this sparkle in their eyes and everyone really loves them. They are definitely gonna come to you first, that's why you won't realize when you find love right away until they step forward and get things moving between you two~😘 Your future love will have beautiful hair and a great smile that's so warm and god you just start fantasizing about it every time you think of them when this happens lol you will be so hooked on this person, like you can't even control it they're just so addictive to you. Also you are definitely coming together with this person when you are involved with online activities like it could be your job or maybe you're online famous you might even have a channel. The flashlight is giving me spotlight energy so like you will be in the spotlight maybe this person is also internet famous or works online, that could be how you two met. Your future love will be in the arts, think painter, actor/actress, heavy artist energy for them. They are probably known online for their artistic abilities, just know you have this person's heart like they're not going anywhere lol😂💫 They want you to pay attention to them and praise them because they will see you as this amazing person and they really want your validation aww. Could be an aquarius rising, this person is very unique and has such a special vibe about them.

If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the tea emoji~☕ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗💕

Pile 4🌹

Sign energy: Soulmates, Children, Ankles, Tears, 4th house, Lilith, Jupiter, 10th house, Juno, Venus, 🍂🎆😒��

🌙Your energy: I'm getting such an attractive vibe from this pile, like can I just say how pretty you are??😂😍 You have this gracefulness about you so delicate like a flower, you might have had people try to pick your petals though. It's like when a person picks a flower just because of it's beauty but they rip it from the ground😥 You wish others would ask you how you feel sometimes because you just want comfort and care.💓 You may have grown up with a bad experience with men or authority in your life. Your family life could have been hard for you, and it could have set your ideas of love and partnerships. You may be close to your mother or one of your parents is distant, you really just want love and affection but you were never used to receiving it.😭💗 You have a feminine energy (even if male) something about you is so aesthetically pleasing. You're emotional and you could be doing some shadow work right now, you are a spiritual person and you don't like when people take advantage of your kindness. Some of you may be born in the fall and could have sagittarius placements as well as pisces, cancer, libra and taurus(so beautiful)💓 Jupiter or Venus could be your dominant planet. My lovely pile 4 you have such delicate hearts so take care of them🩹

⏳When will you find love: Explosion, Money, Force, Soft spot, Inner thoughts, 5th house, Fire, South node, North node, Uranus, 🍷🎲💄🤐 Oml you guys things are going to be so fun when you find love!!! I'm getting like a sudden transformation for some of you during this time but nothing really says that it's just what I'm feeling for you guys. So you might be doing very creative hobbies during this time and omg you could be making things (lol I mean making money🤑). Now I feel like money isn't the reason for doing this hobby but it's just an after effect for sure like you'll be shocked at how sudden the money comes rolling in for you haha😂 For some of you finding love could be a result of looking inward within yourself, this could be self love🥺💗 You might have had trouble loving yourselves all this time but when you find love this will all change, you will feel so pretty and inspiring for yourself🙏😭 You may be caught up in a love affair with someone during this time and this could force you to think about your future, past and finances as well as your deepest self reflection. However this love manifests for you, there won't be a choice about it lol this love will force you to keep going and don't look back. You will be more of a risk taker then ever before and this could be with money. Oohhh for some of you I'm getting heavy casino vibes, you guys might find love casino or you might start gambling a little more in the future when you find love.🎲🍷❤

💖Your future love's energy: 1st house, Show, Special, Chains, My everything, Mercury, 5th house, 4th house, 2nd house, Water, 🐍🎀😁😴 My lovely pile 4 this is getting so good lemme just tell you.😍 Your person is a natural born star omg they're so special! You can't take your eyes off them so be prepared to not blink lol 👁👄👁 This is you when you see them it's just like wow who is they??? Haha you will he head over heels for them literally I also am getting either you or them may wear heels, this could be for fashion purposes and did I mention you guys this person will be such a fashionista oml. They will wear those glasses and chain necklaces all the good stuff🕶📿👞 They are so flirty but like you won't be able to tell if it's just their personality or if it's with you, but it will become SO obvious it's you omg pile 4🤭❤ Your future love is so attractive like they're really good looking if you're curious about that...💅 They have a very special appearance and they dress up real nice😳 They're gonna be all over you pile 4 get ready for physical affection they will always wanna have their hand on your shoulder haha because they think you're so pretty.🔥 Also this person has a really attractive voice, they could easily be a singer or voice actor with their range. Lol they might be the kind that wants you to "own" them and they'll do anything you ask. And they aren't cheap either like, they've got money and they wanna spoil you so bad💸 They wanna hug you tight and make you forget about everything and just have fun together. They're so comforting and healing for you because they're going to give you the romantic experience you thought would be painful.😭🩹🎀 They're literally gonna tell you "don't worry baby everything's okay"💋 The type to give you roses because they want you to think they're special and raise your standards for a romantic partner.🌹 My lovely pile 4 how does it feel being so loved😍🤩🥰

If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the rose emoji~🌹 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

#daily tarot #pick a pile #love reading #astrology reading #in love #tarot pick a card #pick a photo #free tarot #love tarot reading #find love #tarot #pac reading #pick a card

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naybii · 3 months ago

Text

𝓞r 𝓷ah ?

CW: mentions of toxic relationship, forgiveness,mentions of past sex experiences (drunk sex), breast/nipple play, Pet names (gorgeous,good girl,my lady, etc.), cunnilingus, face sitting, unprotected sex (wrap your Willie’s, don’t be silly), consent - (non consensual sex is not valid at all.), reader getting called a slut 1x, squirting, creampies (if there’s more. Tell me.)

A/n: I’m Still in writers block, so if I end up liking it I’ll post it. If not. Then I’m not gonna post this story until I can write an actual good story. Idk thought. I gave up on Freak-tober so Idek if I’ll catch up. This writing style is new and I don’t release that much story’s since I need to improve on my writing.. but if you have advice. Ty :33 I just realized that when you try to enter for a new paragraph with an already written one. It deletes it. It’s so fucking annoying. This is NOT. Proof read and this is an old smut fic, I am so sorry. This might be a little shitty..💔

- the following story does Hold Explicit Content, if you’re a minor please proceed w/ caution -

Synopsis: in the night in Seoul, South Korea. You were at this club. Not very crowded which works with you, you were drinking some alcohol, washing your throat down with it. You were having a good time, listening to the Music that the DJ had been playing. It was gonna be a good night. Though, while you were drinking there was a shadow right above you. Like any other person, you looked up and your night was immediately ruined. Why is he here? And what will happen?

“I finally Found you.” The Black-haired male said. A subtle smirk emerged on his face, you wanted to slap that Look off of him. He’s messed you up enough, why even bother with him? He was such an asshole. he would prioritize himself before you. Which annoyed you. And got in arguments with you, a lot of times. So you had the right to not like him, right?

“San, please get out of my face. I Don't Want to Talk to you.” you tried to be polite to him, not wanting to spark a stupid argument in public. Especially because he will make sure everyone knows that he's the ‘victim’ it had always been like that during your relationship. Oh, you got hit by San, his excuse? ‘She was putting me in danger!’ it was the same thing over and over again. “Oh please y/n, I was the victim in this relationship. You made me feel unloved. I believe I had a right to treat you badly. And besides. Maybe it wouldn't have been like this if you had tried harder to make me happy.” he said boldly. Is he hearing himself?

The audacity for him to say such a stupid comment. “Excuse you? So you’re telling me. If I tried Harder to make you happy, I had to throw my whole life away and act like nothing mattered but you?” You Were Offended, the audacity from him the waltz in and throw your Rocky relationship’s blame on you? “Oh please, y/n. I was the best thing that happened to you. Besides I did do you pretty good in bed.” He added to his already Cocky comment. He cleared his throat and chuckled at you. “Who am I kidding? I make every woman who Im with good.” yeah that's it, your gonna punch that motherfucker in the stomach.

“Quit talking about that San, I don't care about what your stats are with people in your bed. That doesn't mean shit. And no? You weren't the best thing that's happened to me. You're being so cocky and it's so repetitive and annoying, the best thing that has happened to me was leaving you.” you retorted. Who does he think he is? “Come on y/n, don't act like you're some saint too.” he pursed his lips. “That's not what you were saying 1 month ago. Either.” that was right. You had hooked up with him while you two were drunk. It was consensual and protected, but it was still a regret of yours. How could you be so desperate?

“That was a month ago, dipshit. By the way. I didn't say anything.” you said confidently. You remembered about the sex. But not About the words or actions. “Let me recap it for you gorgeous, I had asked You ‘Who’s is it?’ and you immediately said, ‘this pussy is yours.’ so it Still is mine, gorgeous.” your jaw Slacked. Wait, what? You don't remember any of that. Of course, you had forgotten. “It was in the heat of the moment, San. I didn't mean it.” you excused yourself. Though you knew damn well you meant everything you had said.

“So, you think I can still have what’s mine?” he asked out of nowhere. It was a Turn-on. Not because it was San. Actually it was because it’s San, but because his straightforwardness was Attractive and enticing to you. “Oh fuck you, San.” you rolled your eyes. “Oh yeah, fuck me.”San said back, snickering. Staring at your ass While you were grabbing your purse, Taking his hand that he had held out in front of you. That hand had quickly snaked to your waist.

That whole way to his apartment, you and San had talked it out. It wasn’t that easy to do since there was some wrongs that both sides of the parties had done. But you guys had ended up talking about it like adults. “I want to apologize, I don’t want to come with any excuses and I just want to start fresh alright? I don’t. Exactly expect you to forgive me instantly since I had messed you up.” You Just listened to him Speak and ramble about, you smiled and Hugged him while you to were walking. “It’s Alright, at least you had acknowledged your wrongs. And I do too.” You glanced over at him. You guys were coming up to this Tall and bougie looking building. You had Assumed it was his apartment complex. Since i mean, he was wealthy and responsible with money.

You guys finally made it to Sans's luxury apartment complex which was around 5 minutes from the club. He rang up the elevator, pressing the button which calls the elevator, he heard the little ping! And the elevator doors swiftly opened, He had made sure you had gotten in first and stepped into the elevator after you. It took a good 20 seconds to get to his floor, the door Sliding open. He grabbed your hand and led you to his Apartments front door. Grabbing the keys, fiddling with it until he got to the right key to open his Door. He placed the key into the keyhole, turning the keys and the door clicked open. Walking you into his humble apartment.

“Welcome home, my lady.” He introduced you to his apartment. It was so much different than the one when you two were together. “Woah.” You said. It was a lot bigger from the outside, but you weren’t complaining. It was clean and Modern apartment. A living room, a 8x8 bathroom. And the bedroom was Clean and comfy looking. “I’m surprised you actually clean it.” You made fun of him. “Well excuse you, y/n. And yes. I do clean it regularly! So don’t doubt in me.” He frowned. And then smiled.

“You need anything to drink, gorgeous?” He asked you, that hot ass smirk on his face. It was Always doing something to you. “No thank you, actually. Yes, just water.” You corrected yourself. “Alright, one water coming up for my lady.” He said so barista-like. “One cup of water for y/n!” He was Sometimes so wholesome. That’s what You genuinely liked about him. “Thank you for my Little order.” You took the water from his hand. “I’m still getting my payment, right?” He Smiled slyly. “Yes, yes you are.” You Sipped on the water, leaving a lipstick mark on the cup. You placed the empty glass onto the marble counter. “Now, can I get that payment?” He asked you in a whisper like tone.

“Yes,San. Yes.” You rolled your eyes in play-annoyance. Come here already then. “Gladly, my lady.” He walked over to you, then swiftly got you off the stool. He placed you onto the Countertop. And stepped back. Taking a look at you, practically undressing you with his eyes. He walked over to you and undid the dress, moving the zipper down your dress, trying to get you out of your pretty dress. “Let’s get you out of these, my love.” He murmured against your neck. Sending a shiver down your Spine. He looked over at you and smiled. “Raise your hips. And there we go.” You complied with him, raising your hips. He slid the dress off your thighs. Letting it fall onto the ground.

“My god.” He murmured, looking at your Beautiful lingerie, was he Infatuated with you. “Red and black Lingerie,huh?” He asked you. Then taking a good look at you. Fuck, the urge, he has the urge to take a photo of you in that Lingerie, fuck you looked sexy.. his Boner quickly Awoke, Before clearing his throat, not wanting to think with His dick, but.. come on. “Is it alright if I take a photo of you In this… god..sexy Outfit?” he asked You Politely, before You gave him the okay. With him Getting permission, he Takes His phone out, before snapping a picture of your beautiful body. “ ‘mazing sweetheart.” He had that Sly Smirk. Fuck it was hot!

“Let’s take this off now.” He muttered as he got to you, his breath hitting your face as he unclasped Your bra. Then sliding it off and letting that fall to the floor too, your Breasts came out of its confines, slightly jiggling from the Tightness of the bra, that was now off, he Looked into your eyes, waiting for you to say something. “I’m okay with you touching me, San.” He nodded, humming in content and then bringing his hand to your breast, And massaging it, kneading it in his right hand and the other with his left, you Were liking the free no-charge. Massage and You sigh. “That feels good.” You hummed, relaxing yourself. “Let’s see if we can get you to Make some noises, yeah?” He Smiled and Took one tit into his mouth, savoring it then sucking onto it glancing up to you, making sure you were okay. “Oh fuck San.” His face just made this all Hotter, yeah, you were absolutely Turned on.

“You like that ,dear?” He Asked you in a slow and seductive manner. Then swirling his Tounge around your Nipple. The other one hardening in an instant. He pulled away and Started to Roll the Sensitive bud between his index and thumb. You arch your back, raising your hips off the Counter. Letting out a series of Soft moans, and he hadn’t Even Penetrated you yet. You might Just cum, untouched. without Even being Fucked. You pursed your lip. “G-God San. Slow down.” You breathe out. He chuckled softly. Continuing to stimulate your Sensitive Bud. “I’m enjoying this, a lot. And your body is telling me so too.” He pointed out your Damp spot on the front of your underwear. “Fuck,that was on accident.” He could obviously see through your blatant lie. “Riiight. “Accident” hm?” He said in air quotes since he knew you so well, that was not on accident.

“Okay. Well maybe it wasn’t on accident, but you turned me on. So is that really my fault san?” You Replied back. “No, it’s not,pretty girl. Just wondering why you said it was an accident.” He glanced over at you. “Be a Good girl and take your underwear off for me.” He demanded and smiled at you. Seeing you from his peripheral, lifting your hips and Shimmying your Hips and legs. Your Underwear falling onto the floor with all of your other clothes. “That’s some pretty legs. Open those legs for me, pretty girl,” you Nodded and immediately opened your legs. Letting San have a look at your pretty Dripping cunt. “You’re soaked, did I turn you on that much?” He Asked you with a Grin on his face. I’m gonna carry you to the Bedroom, is that alright?” He glanced from your pussy to your face. “Yeah, go ahead.” He grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder, your ass up in the air. And god, was he strong. “You’re strong, sannie.” You told him. Making him chuckle. “I know what I am, m’lady.” He was so damn cocky. But that’s another attractive thing about him. He opens his door with one hand, then door letting a soft click. He walked into the room, throwing you onto his bed. You let out a Yelp and He closes the door. “I need you to sit on my face so damn bad y/n.” He pleaded. His bulge visible in his pants.

“Then come over here and lay down.” He could hear the smile in your voice. He walked over to the bed and laid down. “I haven’t had dinner so consider you, my dinner.” He smiled, looking at you. “You need help with getting on my face?” He asked you, grinning. “No.” You said sharply, you Shifted on the bed. Getting above his face, straddling his Head, giving him a Good and clear view. You Lower yourself down. And He grabbed your hips, reflexively. Sitting you above his face. His Tounge darting out to taste your Sweet juices. Having your Hands Supporting You, on the headboard. You let out a soft sigh. “Fuck, San.” You Mewl. He Continued to move his tongue through your Folds, the Sounds of explicit Slurping and Squelching Echoed around his rooms align with your moans. “Oh shit, San!” You threw your head back. Grabbing onto his jet black hair. “You’re eating me out So good.” You praised. Riding his face, his Nose stimulating your Clit. You Bit your lip. Riding his Face. And Stuffing it right in his face.

“God, oh my god San.” You Cursed. You already Feel yourself close to cumming. His Tounge was working it’s damn Magic. Flicking against your folds, then Slipping it into your Sweet Pussy, slurping all of the juices. Man were you sweet as hell. “San I’m gonna Cum..” You warned him. He had you ride his face. “Fuck, right there. Oh my goshh.. please..” The combination of pleasure from His nose and tounge was Scrumptious.. and You Started To whimper against your lips. The bed squeaking. “Holy shit I’m cumming!” You Squeal, then Letting go. Grunting and Stiffening. You cried out in pleasure. Shaking uncontrollably as he’s still Eating you out. “Fuck! San please stop!” You go off him. Seeing his face clearly Some cum on his nose and mouth. Dripping down his chin. He sat up and Murmured. Turning you around “Let’s have you taste yourself.” He kissed you. Having you Taste yourself on his Tongue. “Good girl.” He cooed. He got up trying to clearly get his pants off. he Unbuttoned his pants. Fiddling with the zipper. Before laying you down.

“I’m collecting what’s mine.” He Said. Then slipping his Pants Off. you could clearly see the out-line of his cock, through his boxer-briefs. He Slides that off too. His cock coming out stiff, his red, swollen cock head dripping pre-cum. He walked over to you, then positioned you so your legs were Spread open. And facing him. He smirked slyly. And grabbed your hips. Mushroom-tip prodding against your welcoming entrance. “Oh fuck San.” You threw your head back. Before kissing him. “Aww what’s wrong? Is this the first time in forever since you’ve had Dick in you you little Fucking slut?” He murmured Those words into your ear before You Let out a shaken moan.

“Yes, San.. it’s been forever..” you nodded, before He Kissed your Lips. Shutting you up. Before he teasingly Entered the head of his cock in your tight pussy. before You whine for him to put the whole thing in. Before he nodded and slowly pushed Into your Eager and tight Pussy. Before you both let out a Loud moan. “Fuck, y/n your Tight Pussy is so fuckin’ warm and snug.. it’s like it’s made just for my dick.” He thrusted in you, your legs impulsively wrapping his waist, Before he Chuckled. “Don’t want me to move out, hm?” He whispered with a hushed voice. “Fuck, San. faster..” you mewled before He began to slap his hips into you. “Oh shit !” You Moaned out. Tears in your eyes. “San please.. oh fuck !! I’m gonna Squirt around your Fucking cock..” you warned before He Grabbed your shoulders and Slammed into you repeatedly, hitting the Sweet spot in your nice gummy walls, making you see stars before You felt the String in your tummy go snap. Before Your eyes Immediately roll back. a rush of Liquid Gushing out of your pussy and around Sans Cock. You cried Out in Utter pleasure, San then Looked at you while it just kept Coming out. Still pounding you. And He Looked So enamored and Happy. Before He let out a Grunt and murmured. “I’m cumming..” Before he Relentlessly Slammed his hips into yours like his life depends upon it leaving your sensitive Pussy put the Work in, he let out a loud moan. His hips stuttering and Finally Cumming in you, leaving a Mess. He Plopped down onto you. not bothering to pull out while having you in his Arms. panting and Shaking. he kissed your head tenderly. “You did amazing, babe. take Some Rest, my baby.” He said in a hushed voice Before letting you rest, just like the Previous nights you guys had Hooked up. Though. This one would definitely bring you two back.

„ 𝓣he 𝓔nd !! ”

— This was made in oct 2024.. it’s March 2025.. 😭😭 I’ll be brave and post this.. 💔🥀

#kpop #ateez #naybiii #san x reader #choi san #san ateez #ateez fic #ateez x reader #ateez smut #writing

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lrithill · 2 months ago

Text

NSFW ARTphabet Headcanon: The Sacred Clown Porn Manuscript (R-Z)

Greetings, sinners and scholars!

This is the final part of the NSFW ARTphabet and I bring it to you with the reverence it truly deserves.

It's my absolute favorite. It includes my favorite letter (W), the lines I had the most fun writing, plus gore, lots of unhinged humor, romantic nonsense (essential, obviously)… and sex—he kind that makes you scream to the heavens and foam at the mouth.

In this final chapter we’ve got: homemade porn videos, the FBI, perpetual erection curses, sleep paralysis, first-hand ARTisanal milk, gumm pass (I’ll just say it could’ve been worse—and you do not want the extended cut), virginity, scorpion-tail dicks, and an ending so blasphemously tender you’ll forget just how much degeneracy you consumed and enjoyed (because that's just how it is with Art ).

*And give me some credit—yes, I made the gif myself because I needed that exact movie scene and none of the existing ones captured the vision.*

Part 1 (A-I):

https://www.tumblr.com/lrithill/780285284765089792/nsfw-artphabet-headcanon-the-sacred-clown-porn?source=share

Part 2 (J-Q):

https://www.tumblr.com/lrithill/780916090799783936/nsfw-artphabet-headcanon-the-sacred-clown-porn?source=share

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Absolutely.

Art is more than willing to explore the limits of pleasure—to him, anything goes, as long as it brings satisfaction. To him or to his partner.

I think this entire ARTphabet has made it painfully clear what kinds of risks Art is willing to take:

Sex in public? Yes.

Toys? Yes.

Kinks? Yes.

BDSM? Yes.

Morally questionable practices? Absolutely.

Role changing? He wants to— but you’ll have to get him drunk to admit it. (Though he might let it slip eventually.)

Piss play? Yes.

Cannibalism? Yes.

Necrophilia? Yes.

But here’s a particularly hilarious kind of risk Art would totally be down for: Considering he’s not just a killer, but one of the most dangerous men on Earth, and the electric chair is practically waiting for him with open arms…

There’s one risk that really gets his blood pumping.

Recording himself.

On video.

While fucking you.

And uploading it to every porn site in existence.

He’s obsessed with the idea that the only clue Miles County authorities have to work with is a three-hour porno (minimum) where he does the filthiest shit imaginable to you.

Art’s addicted to risk—but not just any risk.

What turns him on is the idea of being seen, but never caught.

Even more than that—he gets off on playing with the people trying to catch him.

That’s why filming himself fucking you—a tape where he breaks you, devours you, fills you, worships you, degrades you, loves you, ruins you—drives him insane.

Almost as insane as Interpol’s about to get.

He imagines his sex tape projected inside every precinct in Miles.

On big screens.

In PowerPoint presentations.

In university lectures on criminal profiling.

All in a desperate attempt to find anything.

They’d have to swallow—literally—a freakshow of relentless, brutal, romantic porn, analyzing it frame by frame…FOR NOTHING.

Because Art would make sure your identity is perfectly censored.

Your voice? Distorted.

The setting? Unrecognizable.

No sign of your home—just some dark, Deep Web-style basement.

He wants every sexual forensic analyst watching it, screenshotting, zooming, taking notes, frowning in frustration (or maybe… arousal).

He wants them to study it like it’s the Holy Grail of underground porn.

And if any of his enemies get hard watching it? Even better.

Let them jerk off knowing they’ll never catch him.

Let them know he’s a killer—but also the best fuck of their lives, without even touching them.

(And yes, he would definitely reply to every comment on the video.)

LOCATION: Underground Office of the Special Tracking Unit (S.T.U.), 02:41 AM.

The room is dim, lit only by the cold blue glow of the giant screen where the footage plays on loop.

There’s stale coffee, half-smoked cigarettes, and an air thick with shared trauma.

Minute 38:07

“I swear, if I see one more POV shot of that guy eating that girl’s ass like he’s searching for a secret passage, I quit.” The chief’s smoking half a cigarette—his third in a row. His eyes are glassy, and his left eyebrow’s twitching.

“Should I skip ahead?” says another agent—rookie. Nervous.

His finger hovers dangerously close to the “skip 10 sec” button.

“No, wait. He might change angles.” says the agent closest to the screen, his face like he hasn’t blinked in all 38 minutes. He clears his throat, trying to justify himself. “There could be something written on the wall, I dunno...” He sips his coffee with shaky hands.

Minute 56:45

“You think that’s his girlfriend or a hostage?” the rookie asks, trying to sound professional.

“Has to be the girlfriend. She’s sucking him off like she owes him rent and driving points.”

Suddenly, the angle shifts.

Art moves the camera away from his partner and straps it to her head.

Now we see it all from your point of view: an upward shot of him moaning, licking his lips, looking like a Greek god with a praise kink and zero shame—obscene, erotic, powerful.

“He’s looking straight at us like he’s saying, ‘Are you connecting the dots, detectives?’” someone murmurs.

“What I’m connecting is that this guy’s narcissism has more layers than a Chernobyl onion.”

Art strokes the camera—slowly. Like it’s a puppy. He smiles, tenderly.

“He’s making us his bitches,” says a voice—raspy, almost defeated.

“Yeah. And the worst part is… it’s working,” adds another, sitting down cross-legged on the chair.

Art keeps moaning, loving every second of the blowjob.

Then, without warning, he lifts the camera and points it directly at his face.

He smiles. Winks.

And starts making out with the lens.

His tongue drags across the glass, fogging it up.

They hear everything.

The kisses. Your moans. The wet sounds. Life falling apart—in HD.

A heavy silence falls over the room.

“I’ve been married 15 years, and no one’s ever kissed me like that,” whispers the lead agent.

“I can see all his molars…”

“Quick, someone get forensics to make a mold of his teeth!” shouts another, jumping to his feet.

“Might match the bite marks.”

“We’ve got enough bite marks from this guy to host a dental exhibition…and he knows it. At this point, we know his mouth well enough to get him custom braces ”.

Minute 1:34:24

“There! There!” shouts one agent, freezing the image and pointing with a laser pointer.

The camera is focused on Art’s ass.

Zoom.

A tattoo.

“What does that say…?” someone leans closer.

“Fuck the police.”

Silence.

“Either he did that with a fork, or he Sharpied it during an orgasm.”

“You think it has a double meaning?”

“There’s a triple meaning. And that is illegal in five countries.”

Minute 2:49:12

The screen now shows Art pissing directly onto the camera. A golden stream hits the lens dead-on.

“I don’t get paid enough for this…” one agent facepalms and sips his cold coffee.

“We’re gonna have to rewatch it… just in case.”

“I’m docking your pay.”

Memory Log

File 69 — Classified Evidence

Viewed 37 times by agents. No useful leads.

One agent requested a copy of the analyzed footage: He was terminated.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Art must be under some kind of perpetual erection curse, because dear God…

For him, exhaustion is a kink.

He sees you trembling, gasping, on the verge of passing out—and gets excited like a kid opening his Christmas present.

“Look what we did. One more round?” he thinks, already licking his lips.

And of course, you say no—you can’t take any more. But he’s already on top of you.

Again.

He’ll fuck you until you fall asleep from pure exhaustion—until your brain taps out and sends you straight into the "Brothel Coma", as he lovingly calls it—where he becomes your personal sexy sleep paralysis demon.

Art is insatiable.

Excessive.

Intense.

Playful.

When you finally go to bed to sleep—ha. That’s cute.

There are many, many stages to get through before sleep even dares to show up.

He crawls over you, kisses you like a starved man. He can’t help himself. He grinds his erection against you without shame— his way of saying, ‘I need you’, while holding you tight, devouring your mouth.

And when you’re done—he cuddles you.

Tries to be sweet, so you can drift off after the orgasm… But he can’t resist.

He tries to hold back—but the craving devours him.

His soft caresses turn possessive.

His affectionate kisses shift into hungry bites—his tongue claims your mouth, your neck, your ears…

He loves eating your ears. He knows it drives you wild, so he never misses the chance to leave you with not a drop of earwax left.

It’s not his fault—you turn him on too much.

Those gentle rocking motions meant to lull you like a baby? Yeah. They end in thrusts.

And you... can’t stop this train.

There’s no point in trying.

Soon enough, he’s got you right where he wants you. And he fucks you like his life depends on it.

He adores seeing you wrecked: Hair a mess, drool dripping from the corner of your mouth, eyes rolled back, tits bouncing with every thrust—it makes his mouth water.

And if you pass out at some point? He doesn’t care.

He’ll keep going like you’re his own sex doll.

And that? That turns him on even more.

Having you at his mercy all night, knowing you won’t even be able to walk in the morning…

You make him the happiest man on the planet.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Art loves toys.

He doesn’t just buy them—that would be far too normal. He customizes them to his image.

He builds them. They’re part of his personal collection of instruments…and oh, what a collection.

One of his favorites is a retractable drill.

Originally, he made it as a weapon—and yes, he used it as such. It was hilarious turning that poor guy into SpongeBob.

But then he realized something glorious: he could attach all kinds of things to the drill bit. Wicked things like… dildos.

He’ll put you on the bed, tied up—of course—and load up the drill with a monster cock, or whichever dildo you like best—Art always wants to see you enjoy yourself.

And then he’ll literally drill your pussy.

That bit spins at inhuman speeds, without getting tired, without complaining—because the one doing the complaining is you, sweetheart.

Art loves watching you become a screaming mess under that delicious torment.

The speed creates an optical illusion—it looks like the dildo’s not moving, but it’s going full throttle.

The vibrations ripple through your body—like he plugged you into a high-voltage power line.

And he’s just there, all comfy, holding the drill like he’s mounting a shelf.

Sometimes he goes further: slides a vibrator deep into your ass. Or presses a Hitachi wand against your clit, giving you triple stimulation with zero mercy.

And when you cum? Oh lord.

You’re a fountain.

“Squirter: Hydro Pump!” as Ash Ketchup would say.

You leave Art—who’s behind you—soaked like he just went down a waterslide, like he came straight out of the Amazon, like he rehearsed Singing in the Rain with actual stormwater.

He’s gonna need a canoe to exit the room.

And still—he won’t remove a single toy until you’re on the verge of death by dehydration.

You’ll pee the bed more than once from the overstimulation, and Art’s face will be nothing but euphoria.

He adores you.

You’re his masterpiece.

No doubt.

But not all the toys are for you… no no.

Though Art’s a bit reserved about it, every now and then—he treats himself to a little fun.

Once, on a farm, he found a cow milking machine.

And oh… that thing had too much potential to ignore.

He took it.

Cleaned it.

Added speed settings and a stop command.

And then he went on an adventure.

He loves being your little cow—being milked until he’s completely dry.

All his milk, straight into your mouth…or wherever you want it.

He approaches you, acting all cocky—biting his lip, pretending not to beg… but leaking like a faucet.

The only thing missing is a moo.

“I won’t stop ‘til I get cream, my deluxe dairy cow,” you whisper as the machine sucks the demons out of him by the dick. “Maybe we can make cheese out of you. I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing it for science.”

And he nods.

Of course he nods.

For science.

For love.

For cheese.

He’s already visualizing the insane business you’re about to start. The branding. The jars with his face on them: “Art’s Premium Milk – Straight from the Source.”

You know him.

He’s gonna patent it.

Slogan: “You can’t make clown café… without clown.”

Brand: ARTesanak Milk & Cheese S.O.S. Hand-milked. Machine-milked. Fully blessed.

Ad campaign: Art riding a cow like a sensual rodeo star, wearing a cow-print apron, ass out, sweating like he… just got off a long, hard shift.

100% Organic.

0% Shame.

“Perfect to pair with a juicy steak. Which is, definitely… not a cow steak”

Fine print: Nothing is from cow.

This is his golden goose—Wait. WAIT. Don’t give him more ideas, please.

Customer Reviews:

James (45, frequent buyer, also frequent victim):⭐⭐⭐

"I had sleep paralysis for 36 hours.

I rode the side effects—I didn’t think the ‘Brothel Coma’ was meant literally. They did things to me during those 36 hours… I think I almost found the secret formula.

My wife left me days later—after I bought 3 batches of cheese.

The worst part isn’t that she left… it’s that she took the cheese."

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He drives you insane.

He’s a certified bastard.

It doesn’t matter how much you’re trembling, begging, whimpering, falling apart… Art just does whatever the fuck he wants.

Always.

You’ve been lying there for minutes—hours? Years?—naked, soaked, legs wide open, muscles twitching on the verge of collapse.

And he’s between your thighs, admiring you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen—which you are—but the hatred in your eyes only makes you more charming to him.

He leans close to your clit… and breathes on it.

Warm.

Like he’s fogging up glasses.

He slides his tongue near it—so close…too close. Every nerve screams to push your hips into his face—but you know better. If you move without permission…he’ll make you regret it.

He laughs at you, lifting his head, resting his chin on his interlaced fingers like a sweet little schoolboy—as if what he’s doing is perfectly reasonable, and not simultaneously physical and psychological torture.

He kisses your tits—not as eager as usual, but just enough to give you hope.

Then he trails kisses down your belly, carving a path down your trembling skin.

He’s getting closer.

Closer to your aching, desperate center.

You shut your eyes, bracing for those kisses to finally land where you need them most—

And just when it seems like he’s going to do it…

He fakes you out.

His kisses pass right by your clit, almost waving goodbye to it mid-flight—like it’s a stranger to him...

So disrespectful.

And he keeps going…all the way down…to your knee.

And he makes out with your knee.

Your. Fucking. Knee.

He kisses your knee exactly the way you want him to eat your pussy.

He even massages your calf with one hand—like he suddenly has a master’s degree in erogenous zones of latex balloons.

You feel him smile against your knee.

That bastard.

“You want me to beg, don’t you?” you growl through your teeth. “It’s not enough to see me writhing, arched, teary-eyed, huh?”

Art makes puppy eyes, then gives you the “just a little” finger gesture—index and thumb close together—inviting your best performance. A fast-track humiliation.

“I’ve been such a good girl… I earned it… please, Art… I need you inside me…” you plead, voice soaked in desperate, filthy sweetness.

He nods, satisfied. Delighted by your prayer. He does the little Spider-Man finger move—he knows that drives you wild.

And he gives you exactly what you asked for.

He puts two fingers inside you.

And leaves them there.

Like he’s taking your fucking temperature.

He looks at you with that smug grin, as if to say:

“You like that? You think you’re gonna cum now?”

You grunt.

Groan.

Pray.

You know you’re gonna be here a long time.

Sometimes, he uses other forms of torture—on days when he’s feeling especially cruel.

Like fucking you agonizingly slow—like a grandpa who just rose from his wheelchair—from the grave, even—just to have one last fuck.

Or when he turns into a statue right at your climax.

Two seconds away from touching the sky…

He stops.

Stops.

And stares at you.

Like he’s just seen the Virgin Mary appear in front of him.

Like he’s witnessing a miracle.

He watches the smile fade from your lips.

Watches the light leave your eyes.

Feels your walls stop contracting.

And then… he kisses you. Deep. Slow. Damned.

Like he doesn’t know your whole body is about to detonate.

He kisses you with genuine love. Because he’s in love. Not with you…

But with your suffering.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Uhh… he’s mute.

But that doesn’t mean he’s quiet.

He breathes.

And with every thrust, his breathing changes: he sighs , exhales , sucks air through his teeth, pants with a heaving chest, sweating.

Every sound his body makes escapes him like he just can’t hold it in.

He’s incredibly expressive. He doesn’t need words. His body says everything.

Mouth parted.

Eyes rolling back.

Lips bitten in desperation.

Brows furrowed—knit together with pleasure.

You may not hear him moan… but you know he’s screaming on the inside.

And he doesn’t try to hide it.

Quite the opposite—he wants you to know.

He wants you to see how good you make him feel. To understand that you’re driving him mad, too.

He kisses you.

And in that kiss, two moans collide—soundless, but overwhelming.

Silence and hunger crash together.

He pulls back just enough, lips still brushing yours—breathing into your mouth, both of you trembling, tongues timidly seeking one another, sliding forward to taste, to tangle.

A frenzy of passion.

A symphony of bodies that don’t need to speak to say everything.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Back in his teenage years, Art never had much luck with girls—or boys. He didn’t know how to flirt. He didn’t understand the rules.

And people found him… off.

Even though he was far from the creature he is now, he already felt like a misfit.

Often—on the schoolyard, or just walking down the street—he’d stop and stare at young couples kissing, discovering each other for the first time.

And there was one kind of kiss that fascinated him in particular: the gum pass.

There was something about it that stirred something deep in his chest. Watching two wet, eager tongues share a piece of sweet gum—a mix of lust and innocence that left him entranced.

Of course, he grew up… and never got to try it.

Until now.

But his tastes have changed.

Gum doesn’t do it for him anymore. He needs something more… intense.

If you’re with him—and you happen to witness a murder up close—you’ll see him approach the poor bastard.

He plucks out an eye—preferably while they’re still breathing. Right at the end.

He slips it into his mouth. Rolls it on his tongue.

It’s already slippery, but he soaks it in saliva, savors it like it’s a candy.

And then he kisses you.

And he passes you the eye.

You take it in—half disgusted, half laughing. It’s soft. Fibrous. Mucousy. With a hint of metal.

You try to pass it back, but he refuses —slowly pushing it back… deeper into your mouth, like it belongs there… using nothing but his tongue. He wants it to melt into you.

To swim in your warmth.

It turns him on beyond belief.

The optic nerve brushes your tongue, tickles between your teeth, leaves a little twitch of nerves behind.

You make him feel like a teenager again—but better in every possible way.

This is his version of a first kiss. And for so long, it’s what he wanted.

Art doesn’t make a sound, but his breath says everything. He’s fully turned on. He can’t stop.

You feel it in the way he bites your lower lip.

In his closed eyes, losing himself in the moment.

In the hard length already pressing between your legs.

A chill runs down your spine—a pull so visceral you don’t know if it’s from disgust or desire, but it blends perfectly with the heat burning between your thighs.

Art feels it too.

You can see it in the way he grinds against you—hard, pulsing, lost in this sick , perfect moment.

He doesn’t need words—his hands tell you everything.

He grabs your jaw with blood-stained fingers—fresh blood still dripping down his forearms—holding you close, like he never wants this kiss to end.

His tongue keeps searching for yours, never stopping its dance around the eye still sliding between your mouths.

It’s repulsive.

It’s delicious.

It’s perfect.

It’s so intimate—you feel like virgins.

Without warning, he slams you against the wall—his weight crushing you, his hands gripping your hips, tracing every curve like he’s discovering you for the first time.

He hikes your skirt up, quick and clumsy from how wrecked with need he is.

He doesn’t take your panties off. Just pushes them aside. That’s all he needs.

And when he enters you—it’s all at once.

With the kind of force that screams: “I needed this.”

He fucks you like he’s been waiting years.

And maybe… he has.

He moans silently, and you feel him vibrate inside you.

Your walls tighten, and you both know this won’t last long.

You’re melting into a kiss that feels like your first—like the first time either of you ever knew what it meant to burn for someone.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

His cock is just as dangerous as the rest of him.

About eight inches of mass destruction.

Twenty centimeters of punishment and reward.

And here’s something you should know: he doesn’t wear underwear.

Ever.

Nobody knows what he has against briefs…but there he goes, ding-a-linging around, balls swinging, heavy and unrestrained.

Sometimes you wonder how he manages to go "full commando" under that suit. He’s risking someone grabbing his balls and squeezing.

Maybe that turns him on. Nobody knows for sure.

(He probably does. And he enjoys the risk.)

As for color?

Same as the rest of him—snow-white.

Also, he's Team shower.

Which means he’s always on full display—he doesn’t need to get hard to intimidate. That thing hangs like it’s ready for war 24/7.

Art loves to brag about his big dick.

And of course, he adores nudity.

When you first met him, you nearly fell backward the first time you saw him naked.

There he was—completely, unapologetically bare-assed —watching TV like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Legs spread wide, his arms thrown over the backrest, cock dangling with absolute impunity.

So casual. So chill. So offensively at ease with himself.

And you just stood there, staring—not sure whether to scream, scold him, kick him out, embrace his nudist lifestyle, sit beside him…

Sit on him?

And it’s not just the size.

Thick. Curved. Veiny. Intimidating.

Built to hit all the right spots—and the wrong ones.

Especially the wrong ones. The ones you feel the most. The ones he loves the most.

Made—whether he likes it or not—to give pleasure.

Sometimes, it actually pisses him off.

“Why can’t I have a venomous scorpion tail for a cock?” he’s thought more than once.

That would be fun, he thinks—using it to stab people. He’s spent plenty of time fantasizing about it, laughing to himself at the possibilities.

But then he remembers how good it feels to impale you.

He loves watching you open up for him, watching himself disappear inside you, inch by inch, slowly.

He knows how deep he goes—all the way to your navel.

Like he’s rearranging your guts to make space, or like they move aside just for him.

And what obsesses him most is that moment he’s inside you…watching you struggle to take it.

He feels your body adjust—your pussy clenching, trying to accommodate that massive, unmovable object.

The look on your face.

Brows furrowed.

Eyes squeezed shut.

Lip between your teeth.

Hands gripping the sheets.

Your breath hitching.

He watches you with drool on his chin—dying to fuck you into heaven… or hell.

“Wait, Art…” you beg, trembling. “I’m trying to fit you in…”

And just when it seems like you’re managing—when you finally take a breath—

BAM.

He thrusts the rest in.

All the way.

Until you feel his balls smack your ass.

The bastard was holding back the last few inches for the end.

And he laughs when you freeze—mouth open, eyes unfocused—like you’re genuinely afraid he might… fuck your heart.

(He already fucked your brain, that much is certain.)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

In his teenage years and early youth, he was… normal.

Or at least, what you’d expect from someone his age. He had a sex drive, fantasies, curiosity (he was a weirdo tough).

But as he grew older, and started to understand his true feelings toward people, all of that began to dim.

And once he became a killer, his sexual desire nearly vanished altogether.

Only a few fetishes remained—dark, extreme ones—like necrophilia, piquerism... But sex with a living human being? The idea of a relationship? That felt alien.

He was beyond that.

The only thing that truly gave him pleasure… was killing.

Still, he always knew how to have fun with his victims.

He understood how uncomfortable it is when a stranger tries to flirt with you—and he learned to weaponize that.

He didn’t mind kissing someone, holding hands, even dancing.

But it was never about desire.

It was about amusement. Mockery. Control. A twisted little manipulation game.

He’d play nice—just enough to lower your guard—right before showing you how deep the horror really goes.

Until you came into his life.

He was in a weakened state, vulnerable.

So he figured he’d use you—crash at your place, eat, recover…

You weren’t annoying.

You didn’t run.

You didn’t hide.

You didn’t question him.

He tried to fit you into the role of a tool, a toy, a service—but for some reason, you didn’t quite belong in any of those boxes.

And that cracked something open inside his mind—Uncomfortable. Rotten. Irresistible.

He’d stare at you, trying to figure you out…and you’d stare right back.

He wanted to see fear in your eyes—but what he found instead was… humanity?

He saw his own reflection in your pupils. And suddenly, he looked like… someone?

You didn’t see him as a monster.

You looked at him like he was your friend, or something.

It was unbearable.

Unacceptable.

A waking nightmare.

Until one night, he had a real one.

You, touching him with gentleness.

You, holding his dirty hands.

You, kissing his bloodied mouth.

You, moaning his name while he fucked you—not as punishment, not as part of the game. As if you wanted him.

He woke up tense, panting, sweating like a pig.

And hard. Like an idiot.

And for the first time in what felt like forever, he touched himself thinking of a real woman—not for fun.

Not for mockery.

But because he actually needed it.

And he imagined you watching him.

Slipping under the sheets, brushing his hand away to touch him yourself.

And worse—he wanted you to touch yourself thinking of him.

For days, he hated himself for it.

He thought about killing you. Torturing you. Burning you. Tearing you apart.

But he couldn’t.

For reasons that terrified him more than anything—he never could.

And his sex drive began to grow. Day by day.

Every time he saw you. Every accidental touch, every shared meal, every nap, every smile…

He wanted you.

And he hated himself for it.

And when he finally took you—when he trembled inside you—he made sure that your thirst for him matched his own.

He’d like to think it did.

But deep down, he knows it’s impossible.

No one could ever want anything as much as he wants you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Art doesn’t need much sleep. He’s restless. Hyperactive. He needs to stay in motion—keep his mind occupied.

Thinking. Creating. Destroying.

But after sex… It’s like flipping a switch inside his brain.

Blackout.

His eyes start to close. He tries to fight it, but he can’t.

His body craves a break—just a moment of peace, a pause from the chaos that consumes him.

A little refuge.

So he curls up next to you. He finds you. He settles in—and kisses you…until he falls asleep.

He needs your naked body against his, your warmth, your fingers tracing him softly.

Sometimes it’s spooning—he doesn’t care who’s big spoon.

Sometimes it’s him on his back, with your head on his chest.

And sometimes, he’s completely sprawled over you—using you as a mattress.

His forehead rests against the crook of your neck, arms and legs wrapped around you like a serpent, refusing to let go.

But then there are times he doesn’t sleep.

He just lies there, staring at you.

Not in a psychotic way—well… maybe a little—but more like adoration.

You, so full of him—so filled with his cum, his venom, his madness—, so his. And yet… at peace.

And in that moment, he knows—without a doubt:

He didn’t regret not killing you. Not for a second.

He wants you by his side. Forever.

Even fully aware of what that entails

But when he does fall asleep beside you, you can't help but whisper all the things you love about him.

You know he adores your voice. And even more, he adores hearing what you have to say.

“Have I ever told you all the things I like about you?”

“You’re funny. You always make me laugh with those hand gestures and faces only you can make.”

“You’re clever. You always find a solution when I feel overwhelmed—even if… sometimes they’re a little drastic.”

“You’re delicate. You do horrible things… but you touch me like you’re afraid to break me.”

“You’re patient. You fight so hard to hold yourself back, even when it tears you apart.”

“You’re innocent. When you tilt your head, like you're trying to understand something you can only feel.”

“You’re attentive. You don’t say anything… but somehow, you always let me know everything.”

“You’re sweet. When you hold me like you never want to let go.”

“You’re naughty. You get turned on by things no one else would.”

“You’re honest. You've never sent me mixed signals.”

“You’re romantic. In your own bizarre, beautiful way.”

“You’re poetic. A blend of art and chaos.”

“You’re weird. But so am I.”

“You're one of a kind.”

You pause. He breathes deeply, slower—as if your words are caressing him.

“I like you, Art. All of you. Exactly as you are. You make me happy.”

Thank you for reading all the way to the end.

If you’ve made it through all three parts… you must be a true masochist and honestly, I fear you.

And if you liked, commented or rebloged—you're in my heart forever (no escape).

I’ve seen those wholesome SFW alphabets going around… NO.

I won’t do it…

(…unless?)

After this unhinged amount of porn, please expect my next fanfic to be soft, emotional, cute, gentle, pretty, with fireworks and music...

I need to detox, please… I...

I NEED THERAPY, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

Part 1 (A-I):

https://www.tumblr.com/lrithill/780285284765089792/nsfw-artphabet-headcanon-the-sacred-clown-porn?source=share

Part 2 (J-Q):

https://www.tumblr.com/lrithill/780916090799783936/nsfw-artphabet-headcanon-the-sacred-clown-porn?source=share

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