raithe-wayne

[raithe-wayne]

I've been told that I end up growling when I bite into anything. I think that explains some things. Biting is fun and useful.

you'd think dick would be the renowned 'biter' of the batfam from his early days as robin, frequently biting attackers when not really necessary. then jason comes along and is 10x worse, doing it purely for his own amusement.

you think, surely the next one won't want to bite people for fun, and you're right, tim bites people as a defence mechanism instead.

by the time the 4th one comes around, it's statistically impossible for him to be a biter, but low and behold, damian's worse than all three of the previous boys combined. the cherry on top is that unlike the others who only bit for fun, as an attack, or as self-defence, never multiple, this one's standard reaction to anything is to bite it.

[raithe-wayne]

I once had a timed match of chess with him, only to find he was secretly stuffing his own pieces into his pockets. The whole Manor heard my rage.

[raithe-wayne]

I've gone only once and no one noticed for two days straight, even when I hit my elbow and cursed in 4 different languages.

More than half the League is betting at any time that they know when it's actually Batman under the mask, or someone else. Unfortunately, they were wrong when:

Dick was doing a phenomenal job of playing Bruce (didn't give himself away even once by smiling), because he fell asleep

Batman stubbed his toe against a table and swore like a sailor which led to cash exchanging hands as several people figured it was Jason, but Bruce had recently switched out of Matches Malone to dress up as Bats and hadn't shaken the Mindset yet

Batman's suit sat weirdly empty at the table and Oliver, annoyed, tried to tell Damian that this was too serious a meeting for Bruce to delegate, but it was Batman, hit with a de-ageing spell and too stubborn to sit out

After sustaining pretty serious injuries, Batman was whiteknuckling the table, in an awful mood, and nobody thought anything of it. Barry offered to help Bruce up (if the pain was keeping him trapped, trying not to insult Batman too much), and Jason tightly replied that if he moved the suit was going to tear.

Clark and Bruce had a bet for how long they could replace Bruce with a mannequin without anyone noticing, and because Clark kept looking over at "Bruce" and giggling (pretty par for the course for them), nobody noticed for five hours.

[raithe-wayne]

He got lectured for around 5 hours after and placed on house arrest for a week. You bet he snuck out after the first day and I've never seen Bruce age so fast.

Jason turns off his devices mid patrol and pretends to be dead again for april fool's one time and Bruce has a mental breakdown so bad, Jason has to come clean immediately.

[raithe-wayne]

He has actually done this. I watched him get punched once. Have that on camera.

Fuck you Batman

[raithe-wayne]

Haven't said anything in a while. Barbara has shown me some new shows. I enjoy them. Bruce is forcing me to "hang out" with the Kents. I do not enjoy them. Exempt for Clark's parents.

[raithe-wayne]

Only Bruce, Dick, and I are allowed to drive after Jason somehow got the car on the roof of a building.

i think this is the most normal brother moment they've ever had

[raithe-wayne]

I had no part in the confetti or Petco fiasco, but I may or may not have collapsed a building while grappling. Someone did not construct it well enough, so clearly it is not my fault. Alegedly.

officer: are these your children sir?

damian, forcefully raided a petco to liberate the animals: hello father

jason, released said animals on unsuspecting tourists for fun: sup old man

bruce: …nope

officer: oh, then them?

steph duke and cass, covered in equal parts confetti, dirt, and blood, waving:

bruce: oh no, im not touching that one with a ten foot pole

officer: …so it has to be one of them?

alfred, got into an altercation with someone at home goods over the last crockpot: i have no regrets master bruce

tim, hacked the cia to put himself higher than jason on their wanted list and accidentally implicated himself in an unrelated crime: i’m more disappointed in myself, really

bruce: …i’ve never met these people before

assorted incarcerated batkids: *various outraged clamor*

officer: then who are you here to collect?

bruce, pointing to a different cell, sighing: that one’s mine

clark, was pulled over for following all the gotham road laws (incredibly suspicious behavior): hi bruce!!!

[raithe-wayne]

This has happened twice. They have good tacos. Dick disagrees.

patrol is fun :DD

[raithe-wayne]

self portait

Done on Dami's old homework

[raithe-wayne]

I have had to tackle Tim many of times because of this. He once had a drowsy conversation with me about antimatter and how bananas produce it. I had previously known this but I let him talk. He then proceed to pass out in his cereal. I put him to bed.

Jason: this is giving Arkham vibes

Dick: hm?

Jason, gesturing out the sliding back door of the Brownstone: he’s been wondering around the yard, talking to himself for three hours

Dick, peaking his head out the door: it’s an enclosed yard, he should be okay till he bonks out

Steph, who just arrived: what are we looking at?

Jason: a man walking the tight rope of sanity

Damian, mostly minding his business, eating coco puffs at the table: sanity?! I watched him have a full conversation with the oak tree regarding the ethics of the prison-industrial complex. We’re far past debating his sanity

Steph: oh god, it’s worse than we thought

Bruce, from the second floor balcony: TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE get the fuck to bed or god so help me, I will inject you with a sedative

Tim, turning from the oak tree to squint up at Bruce: Bruce, I don’t see how the electric chair is all bad

Damian, sighing dramatically: If I must, I will do the honours of stabbing the zombie with a sedative

[raithe-wayne]

(Ooc) roleplay blog technically

okay i wanna do one of these. PLEASE interact: fraternal twins, people who were blonde as children, geminis, scorpios, roleplayers (ttrpg or larp version), roleplayers (tumblr blog or discord or omegle edition), gif makers who are terrified of the death of tumblr bc they will have nowhere to post, people with septum rings, non supernatural fans who nonetheless have opinions on the characters by osmosis, ace attorney investigations enjoyers, people with old laptops, people who do not own airpods, flautists, people with ocd who are very messy, collectors of weird objects, drinkers of iced coffee only, and winter haters

[raithe-wayne]

I am married to the stars than.

You’re married to your phone background/lockscreen how fucked are you

[raithe-wayne]

Little do you know Dami has several chickens. And one of them I named Maim. He is now my chicken. Dami does not know this.

Bruce, to his Robins: You are my emotional support children.

Dick: Imma commit murder! Chandeliers are my new trapeze! Dating an alien princess sounds like a great idea!

Jason: An abandoned apartment in Crime Alley is a perfectly fine place to live! *dies* Why won’t you kill the Joker, huh? Huh?!?

Tim: Me and my friends are gonna go cause several international incidents. See ya!

Steph: So, like, what if I started a gang war?

Damian: Drake insulted Batcow’s honor! He will perish by my blade! Murder is acceptable! Can we adopt chickens?

Duke: Wdym jumping off bridges isn’t a reasonable tactic? Quit being such a buzzkill!

Bruce, sighing: …and you are also the reason I need emotional support children in the first place.

[raithe-wayne]

Liveposting patrol

11:57 p.m. This mask is so stuffy.

11:59 p.m. Just watched Jason fall off a roof, funny as hell. He tried to flip of Dick while backflipping.

12:04 a.m. Dami is whining to Duke about driving. Duke looks like he might strangle someone. I am seeking shelter in this vent.

12:06 a.m. Nevermind. Dick stole the spot. Duke has given in. I do not want to ride now. I may use Jason's motorbike.

12:15 a.m. Nothing productive has been done. Everyone is fighting over seating arrangements in the Batmobile. It's name is stupid. Why does everything have bat in front of it? I mean, Bruce calls his chair "The Batchair" for saints sake.

12:24 a.m. I almost dropped my phone while grappling. Someone set off a firework on the street under me. Dami got singed instead. It is funny when he is okay.

12 oh hey hiiiii its me ya boi jason

12:26 a.m. Jason took my phone. Ignore previous log. He thinks he is funny. I am exhausted.

12:45 a.m. I am back at the Manor eating a dish Alfred made for me. I am assuming the rest of the family crashed. Bruce is at a Gala. I do not like Galas. Dick is banned from them. So is Jason. And Tim. And Dami. I am starting to belive everyone but me is banished from Galas.

1:23 a.m. Going to rest. I hope I will sleep. Most likely not.

hah they fell asleep with this open I can post anything I want yessss

-steph

[raithe-wayne]

(Ooc) This blog!

Heyooo lovies

I made an in character blog for my DC Batman OC and it would nean the world to me if there was even a single note. You don't have to though.

Blog is @raithe_wayne (it won't ping)

[raithe-wayne]

Bruce was not amused. Secretly, I think he was.