#i want him to get better so badly
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Server moderation really fucking sucks sometimes
#we had to ban one of our members today#and it's someone I really care about and love a lot#he's like my little brother#and i know its for the comfort of our members but fuck man even knowing he was crying hurt#i want him to get better so badly#and sometimes you have to cut out people until they get well#but fuck man he's genuinely so sweet and tries so hard#bpd and autism and an unloving family destroys you#i hope you see this buddy#vent#personal
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Average Drama Enjoyer observes some peak drama.
#dungeon meshi#toshiro nakamoto#laios touden#kabru#izutsumi#Before anyone mistakes this as mischaracterization: The joke here is that it's ambiguous what the hell he means.#Kabru does love getting into fights a bit more than average but he's mostly here for the drama.#I screenshot the scene of him going 'The dark arts!' with a little smile everytime I re-read dungeon meshi. He's so catty. I love him.#And shout out to Izutsumi for adding fire to the drama. Girl said 'I am the listener. I heard that shit.' and refused to apologize.#Joke two: the deep cut - Welcome to more propaganda for whatever the hell is going on between Laios & Shuro & Kabru.#Laios trusting Shuro with some *heavy* information because he admires him so much! And wants to be his friend so badly!#Kabru also has another great character moment when he immediatly clocks Laios as not being as malicious as expected.#We love a character who can put the clues together! It is such a good subversion of what role we think Kabru is to play in this story!#Now he's eager to befriend Laios - who is barely interested and currently trying to befriend Shuro - who is barely interested and...well.#The painful triangle of people trying to get to know the other person better and being rejected...Friendship triangle.#We have all had a friendship triangle situation before. Right? You guys have also struggled to read people. Right?#Laios is universally relatable. Right?
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on the topic of akutagawa being atsushi’s “strength”and the person who pushes him over the hurdle of his self-doubt it will always destroy me that in akutagawa’s mind, atsushi is the opposite. his point of weakness, the obstacle he has to overcome. and when akutagawa dies he does so with a smile because he’s fulfilling his wish, making a sacrifice that will surely place him above atsushi and get him the acknowledgment he craves, even though he won’t be alive to see it. while in the same moment atsushi’s purpose disappears in front of him - all the training he’s done is suddenly for naught, and he spends the remainder of the arc trying to stand on his own without the support of a rock he had no idea he’d been leaning against
#was gonna put this under my last post but it killed my vibe too badly so. you get it separate#i feel like people often believe their partnership is onesided and talk about how it’s only beneficial to akutagawa#so i really like to think about what it means for atsushi. the paradox of the guy who wants him dead changing him for the better#bsd#sskk
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( elden ring dlc spoilers )
(sort of personal rambling post about my feelings about it, not looking for lore discussions)
its so obvious to me that base game radahn and dlc radahn are two entirely different entities really
one is a nigh mindless mess of what remains of a respected and once, and still in a way, very powerful general, like a tragic memory of what once was, even in this zombie like condition you can get an idea of who he was, even if only a little bit, the way he fights in synch with leonard for example
the other a recreation of him but like it was made by someone who didnt know him at all, shallow and surface level, either unintentionally so bc he really didnt know him well (and didnt care to get to know him) or intentionally made into somethign that fit miquellas IDEA of him, who he wanted but not who he really was, it shares name and design traits, to some degree fighting style, but it lacks "him", he has no voice, no shift in expression, he does whatever miquella wants, a perfectly obedient, silent, animated statue (even more obvious in second phase ...)
i mentioned it in a previous post but even his changed designed feels strangely off, basic elements are there (red hair, yellow eyes, golden lion theme) but it lacks cohesion (imo), like an action figure not a real person, its shiny and cool looking but doesnt make sense for him, he even has the sixpack armor thing, and overall a roman aesthetic to him, mulitple braids in his hair (a trait of miquella), useless swords hang around his waist, arms exposed, overall incredibly thin compared to base game radahn (be it just the armor or not), like designed by someone who has no or little idea of how swordfight works, almost .. childishly cliché
and yes, the fact that leonard is entirely missing is significant in my eyes, he is very important to radahn, its one of the few things we actually know about the real radahn, but miquella probably either didnt know or doesnt care, he doesnt care about leonard, of course he isnt here
"promised consort", promised by who to whom? if miquella, perfect little miquella, says it is promised to him, it has to be true and good and no one would would dare suggest hed lie (i dont think radahn would like that title either, ...like even his title in the end isnt about who he really is)
its all about what miquella wants, his perspective is told to you over and over- what radahn wants, his perspective, what he believes in doesnt matter, radahn doesnt matter, the only thing that matters is how he can serve miquella, how this idealized, silent puppet that is nothing of himself apart from basic design traits and name obeys miquella
by rot or by miquella, just a mindless toy whenever you see him
and it just makes me sad and angry ......... its tragic but so much so that it borders on cruelty for crueltys sake, it was never about radahn :(
#ganondoodles talks#elden ring#elden ring DLC#elden ring spoilers#elden ring dlc spoilers#radahn#starscourge radahn#general radahn#im not gonna call radahn consort to anyone#(but to myself maybe hehehehslnhjnajdbnkjsbjk)#anyway#i do like tragic figures- its in part of why i loved him already from the base game#but this is shifting it to .... less tragic and more cruel than anythign else#i want to chew through concrete bc i love him so much and he deserves so much better#let him be himself for once aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh#AND THIS IS ALL WE EVER GONNA GET#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARHJRBGHJBGFRDGJBDGJD#*cries*#i want to know him so badly#like real radahn#how he would fight in his prime as himself#dlc radahn is barely him#BC ITS NOT HIM#*cries again*
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Fandom Gripe #23: I know that fandom is in some deep denial about its treatment of female characters that are canonically involved with fan favorite m/m ships, but do y’all realize that when you disappear female characters from the narrative wholesale to push the idea that your canonically straight fav was “secretly gay all along!” you’re making several bad implications? That 1) bi men don’t exist, 2) bi men do exist, but those who have genuinely loved a woman before cannot genuinely love a man after that (therefore bi men don’t exist in practice), 3) women cannot inspire genuine love and devotion in men, therefore any relationship with a woman is “lesser” than the one they later have a man (see previous parenthesis), or 4) to acknowledge the existence of a lovable woman who isn’t a terrible person, where if a relationship previously existed, it did not end because of “incompatibility,” is enough to destabilize the present relationship between two queer men?
Because why is the tgcf fandom allergic to acknowledging that He Xuan had a whole ass fiancée that he loved? Why does no one ever seem to remember that the kidnappings and murders of He Xuan’s sister and fiancée were the final straws that sent him on his rampage, and he still keeps a shrine to them in the present-day of the story? Why is her entire existence and significance to He Xuan as a man, character, and to his character arc disappeared in favor of pushing Shi Qingxuan—the brother of the man responsible for his fiancée’s death—into that same role, as if to say that her impact on He Xuan is significant... just not when it's from her? Why does He Xuan’s life in fandom essentially begin not just after her death but because of it?
#tgcf#human gripes at fandom#anyways these are rhetorical questions because I already know the answer#i just absolutely hate it#why do y’all hate female characters so badly 😭#especially when they ‘get in the way’ of m/m ships?#mxtx shows that woman more respect in the book than fandom does outside of it#and she didn’t even give that character a name!#simply embarrassing#i could have also talked about jgy here#but let’s be real: that man never loved qin su (or anyone)#so i did not want to include him when discussing people who are *actually* capable of unconditionally loving others#but anyways#mdzs fandom sure loves to either disappear qin su#or act as if she’s the one responsible for why their precious ‘meng yao’ can’t just hop into bed with his bros#you know? the one he killed and the one he used as an accomplice in his murder? those bros? that he so obviously loved with sincerity?#at least moreso than he could ever love a *woman* amiright?#(for legal purposes that last tag was a joke)#i also really hate the implication that he xuan had no life before shi wudu ruined it#that in fact shi wudu made his life 'better' by tying him to shi qingxuan#the romanticization of shi wudu's actions to make way for a ship is... a Choice
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Its funny remembering that in a way Mulciber and Avery are more respectful than The Marauders.
Cause The Marauders bully Lily's ex best friend Severus, despite James being in love with Lily and them claiming to be the good guys. Like bro if you want the girl befriend her best friend, damn.
And Mulciber and Avery, who are friends or acquaintances with Severus which is said by Lily, apparently don't do shit to Lily cause when she tries to get Severus to see how bad they are she only brings up the shit Mulciber did to Mary, someone Severus doesn't even know. Avery & Mulciber are clearly blood purists so they would obviously talk shit and I really think they'd talk shit about Lily wether they were friends with Severus or not cause she's a muggleborn and a gryffindor.
Yet Severus still hangs out with them and has no other issues with them especially cause he'd throw a fit if they talked shit about Lily. And if he did they'd clearly hex him cause they won't take shit from a half blood. Like wether they left Lily alone in an effort to keep Severus on their side to recruit him or not, they seemed smarter then the marauders. Cause while they didn't try to befriend her obviously, they knew if they wanted Severus on their side they didn't target the one person he truly cares about.
Now wether Mulciber and Avery were really close to Severus or not they still didn't target Lily or say shit cause I feel like they would considering how much James goes after her so they'd hear a lot about her. I feel like they'd attack her out of annoyance or berate her incase they thought she believed she was all that but apparently not cause Lily doesn't bring anything up and I know damn well she would have. Severus probably would have left them if they did.
#like even after their friendship ended#they'd have a reason to teach her a lesson after the incident wether they cared about severus or not#cause while they don't go after the marauders possibly because they used the bullying to their advantage to get Severus on their side#I feel they would have gone after her afterwards or atleast say cruel things about her while Severus was more vulnerable#but I feel like they didn't since Severus still joins them without hesitation Mulciber and Avery are probably the ones that talked severus#into thinking that if he joined the DEs that Lily would come back to him#like they knew how to get severus and the marauders specifically james didn't know how to get lily from the beginning#cause mul and avery had severus from the beginning cause he didn't think badly about them at all but lily thought badly about the marauders#while they still ended up with who they wanted at the end. I say Mulciber and Avery were better#they were dicks clearly but they achieved what they wanted first before the marauders did#their friendship ending help both parties more but if sev was actually in love with lily mul & avery would have convinced him#that joining the DEs would make him more desirable to lily if their friendship hadn't falled apart or they did it from the beginning#cause its said thats what Severus thought and I feel it was Mulciber and Avery who made him think that#severus snape#mulciber#avery#lily evans#hp#random#random shit#anti marauders#I keep adding tags afterwards so I'm done now#no more tags#this is all my opinion its what I think
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the way jack is like “he’s fine” when will, sick as a dog, shot a man outside of alana’s house at ass o’ clock is ASTOUNDING
like ik jack’s always terrible and overworks will but why does it take hannibal urging jack to do something?
why did no one but hannibal notice will was sick and not doing well AND did something about it?
ik it’s an obvious running theme about the ablism in how people besides hannibal treat will (yes even beverly) but god every time i find a new instance of it or a new angle i fly in to rage
#like ik alana hate can be over the top but i need people to realize it IS warranted#she talks so much about wanting to get close to will#and the minute he lets her in she rejects him calls him unstable and a professional curiousty#he openly says he feels unsatble which is practically a cry for help from a guy with walls as tall as will’s and all she does is… hug him?#and then NOTHING#shes not concerned she doesnt try to offer help or any more support besides the hug#and jack ofc is both better and worse; will is only considered a person as long as hes useful#and he does get better like alana toward the end but only just#OUGHHHHH HANNIBAL TREATS WILL BADLY BUT AT THE SAME TIME TREATS HIM THE BEST#hannibal#will graham#hannibal lecter#hannigram#murder husbands#jack crawford#alana bloom#beverly katz#meta#fungus watches#fungus talks
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look i figured out how to put this post underwater
my personal opinions and interpretations of a piece of literature are incoming. this is me nitpicking but: by the end of the first ghost scrooge is already ashamed of himself and looking toward change and when the third ghost comes he assumes that theyre looking upon a future in which he has changed so he's terrified and devastated when he sees the reactions to his death because he doesn't know if the scrooge they know in a year's time is one who has changed, or one who has changed enough.
like yes i do think that seeing his own miserable lonely celebrated death is vital to the man he becomes on christmas morning BUT. it's not just that. scrooge's fatal flaw isn't just greed, it's isolation and indifference. seeing that there is tenderness and love in this world not far from him is as important as watching his own kin disregard him as lost and loathsome.
that's why, in my mind, seeing how loved tiny tim is, understanding the love and faith and perseverance of the Cratchits as well as his own hand in continuing their poverty and illness, and being struck with the abject tragedy of tim's (really quite preventable) death changes him as much as the businessmen's jokes about him do.
i think what the point one might make here comes down to the fact that it isnt until scrooge is confronted by the reality of the suffering he is enabling that he understands how badly he needs to make a change. he knew Bob Cratchit is poor, I'm sure, but he was able to ignore that fact until the spirits show him the Cratchits' home and their malnourished children. Healthcare CEOS see that every day, they arent ignorant. healthcare companies actively fight to keep people in poverty and sickness. so maybe they're way more evil than Scrooge, who's to say
#scrooge is soooo compelling honestly. like in Dickens' original work or adaptations that really understand the heart of the source (muppets)#he is undeniably cruel and greedy and cold at the story's beginning.#but he's also ignorant and as the story progresses you get the sense that there's this child in him who is lonely and wants to laugh and#love and grow and connect with other people and always has. and that part of him that he's hidden so long starts to wake up#until it overpowers the coldness and the hatred.#and a christmas carol is not just about fear!!!! fear is a factor but it's not the only thing that drives him to change!!!!!!!#it's love! love for mankind and life is what changes scrooge! he's afraid of dying alone yes. he's afraid of eternal torment yes.#but he wants so badly to love and to have joy and hope when he is reminded of what they really look like#and when he is reminded that he used to be capable of them and STILL IS!!!!!!!!#a christmas carol is so amazing it makes me want to scream and throw things i just really like it a lot.#all of this is my personal opinion etc etc#a Christmas Carol#scrooge isnt just changed by fear bro he's changed by yearning for something better
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Soooooo I did lich emmrich...for science..
AND IM SORRY I DONT LIKE IT HOW IS IT MORE COMON THAN SAVING MANFRED??????????
#i have a feeling its simular to those who ascended astarion bc they believed his act#but waaayyy less evil and way more healthy#like im a strong believer that if emmrich wanted to become a lich so badly#he wouldnt be asking us to make that decision for him#it feels kinda cheap to encourage him to live and embrace mortality#then be like “actually jk its your dream so go do it”#one of the biggest sticking points for me is his reasoning to become a lich#he'd be more in tune with the fade and see all its secrets and such#but it would also allow him to “be of service past” past his time#like my sweet gentleman sir#what YOU want is what matters#screw what the necropolis wants others will come along and continue your work as you did for those before you#people die. lives end. we wont get to finish everything we started#and thats normal and okay#emmrich is in such a fascinating position where he has the chance to say no to all that#and actually live 5ever#but is a long life better than a life well lived?#on the other hand: get dat skeleton ass baybeee if thats what youre in to#im just fascinated by if lichdom is something emmrich really wants#or something he thinks he should want#im sure ill rant about this another day lmao#feel free to chat with me about yalls thoughts cause id love to hear them!#dragon age#da4#da4 spoilers#datv spoilers#da:tv spoilers#emmrich volkarin#veilguard spoilers#emmrich spoilers
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Pete's fever wasn't going down. It wasn't really Pete's fault. He had started eating more regularly, even if slowly to not upset his stomach. (He didn't want to vomit his insides all over the duvet again. It hadn't been a pleasant experience.) He had started sleeping more, too, and even though it had mostly been accompanied by disturbing dreams and could be described as anything but nourishing, at least it was something. This wasn't really Vegas' fault, either. Well. It was. It was difficult to explain, and Pete didn't quite have the mental capacity or the patience to make Vegas understand why he hadn't magically healed in a day thanks to a bowl of noodles, a couple of pills and some bandages wrapped around his torso. In all honesty, that was a lie. Despite Pete's reluctance to admit it, he had been way more patient that he should have. More than he could sustain. Today, his patience seemed to be at its limit. Pete didn't let it show - he never did, he couldn't afford to, not even now - but he could feel it brewing under his skin. The urge to snap at an anxious Vegas hovering above him with blood-shot eyes and trembling limbs was big and tempting, but Pete knew better than to succumb to it. He simply closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose, trying to forget about it. Vegas, of course, wouldn't allow that. "Pete," he heard Vegas whisper. When he didn't respond, Vegas said it again, louder. "Pete. Hey, look at me." Pete did. "Do you not hate me?" Pete didn't answer. "Don't you want to kill me?" Pete sighed. He refused. H wouldn't give Vegas the satisfaction. "How would you do it?" This was starting to get irritating. "Vegas-" "Tell me, Pete. What would you do? Would you use your hands or a weapon?" Pete couldn't escape this. He realized when he looked at the pure desperation in Vegas' eyes. "I'm a bodyguard, aren't I?" he foolishly said, his voice breaking slightly. He lifted his head and stared at the ceiling. He could picture it; him wearing his uniform, blowing Vegas' brains out with his gun. The image brought him no satisfaction. Only a faint sense of dread he couldn't rationalize. Vegas' humming snapped him out of it. "Yes, I can see that. I can't imagine you using a knife, though." Pete felt slightly offended by that comment for some reason. "Why? Don't you think I have the guts?" "It's too... emotional a choice for you. You wouldn't use it to kill me." Right. Pete huffed in amusement. "I guess you're right. I'm not like you." This did the trick. Pete could feel the effect of his words, the hostility Vegas was emitting. It gave him goosebumps, despite the temperature of the room. The sound of the door closing harshly made him flinch, a racing heartbeat remaining for a while afterwards. It didn't bother him. He was finally left alone. It didn't matter if he'd manage to get better or not. If only Vegas could see that.
(A snippet inspired by a scene in the movie "Eileen")
#I would have apologized about my random “Eileen” gifset spam#but as you can see the movie inspired me in a lot of ways#unbelievable how that happened#my VP brainrot is so bad you guys#anyway this is barely edited and looks sloppy in my eyes but it's midnight and I'm tired so take it as it is#I'm in my safehouse feels lately if you couldn't tell#Vegas wanting Pete to kill him so so so so SO badly fascinates me#and especially in this concept how he's craving Pete's animalistic fury on him#because it's a sign Pete is getting better#because it's a sign he hasn't failed in nourishing him back to health#because they can return to their initial performance (they can't)#(they could never)#(and both of them know it)#addicting it's simply addicting#vegaspete#yu is writing
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One of my favorite things that happened during my last mage Hawke playthrough was during the final battle against Meredith. Everything's going well. We're kicking her ass, she's got just this much health left, we're so close... but then everyone gets stunned dizzy.
Hawke is stumbling around all confused, seeing stars. The rest of his companions are stunned. I'm annoyed because I just want to end this fight. Don't know how or who did it, probably Meredith, but the situation's dire.
Meredith's standing by herself at the center of the Gallows, shouting nonsense and smugly believing the Maker's going to come down and make her his new bride after she murdered a bunch of innocent people.
Truly, this is the part of the story where Varric says they all thought hope was lost, that in the end, Meredith would pull a fast one on us and claim victory...
Until the REAL hero of dragon age 2 comes storming at her. I don't know why Carver was the only one to not be affected, but he literally jumped out of no where and just started bashing Meredith with his sword while everyone else was too dizzy to do anything until she was dead and the cutscene played.
"Hawke defeated Meredith-" LIES, VARRIC. I know the truth! I was there! Hawke didn't do shit! Carver Hawke was the main character all along! He got shit done and Varric gave Hawke all the credit!
I bring this up because last night I finished my warrior Hawke run and when we got to the fight with Meredith, I kind of hoped the same thing would happen where Bethany dashed in all heroic and got the killing blow on Meredith.
She did not.
She got squished by a statue.
But it's fine, Bethany Hawke was the true main character in my heart.
#da2#dragon age 2#carver hawke#bethany hawke#da2 hawke#varric tethras#da2 meredith#listen i have so much love for the hawke twins they are the main characters in my heart like yes fine hawke you're there too#but THE TWINS aaaaaaaauughghghghhhhhh#seriously though i'll never forget being annoyed that ed was bumbling around and then watching carver be the only one unaffected#and he's the only one beating meredith and tbh i was cheering him on yes baby brother get her show her how you do it back in fereldan#honestly doesn't it figure though? carver would be the one to deliver the final blow and then be completely overshadowed#because varric has such a hard on for hawke BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH#and it's the same with bethany like this entire run i was so invested in her and i wanted her to set meredith on fire#though this time the fight was actually super easy because i was way more prepared and at a higher level so hawke never got stunned?#i dunno but i wasn't keeping track of bethany during the battle and somehow she did die once... but it's fine she got better#siiiiiigh.... do you know how much i want a playthrough with just the twins? so badly like listen hawke you're neat#but maybe this time you could let the ogre eat you instead? just this once? i love both of my hawkes but the twins??#hawke twins hawke twins haWKE TWINS HAWKE TWINS#i guess i have to settle for au crafting and fanfic...
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stolas asking blitz "have u ever apologized to anyone?" is literally so fucking wild because yeah, yeah he has actually?? have *you* ever apologized to anyone? i can only think of two times u've apologized and both of them were to octavia, after you fucked up majorly and ignored her needs and made her feel unloved and alone. also did u ever apologize to blitz for *takes out comically long scroll*
coercing him into a sexual relationship (he admitted it was wrong, but never apologized)
using him as an object in more way than one, including putting out a cigarette on his horn (99% sure that imps have feeling/sensation in their horns. he didn't seem to be in any pain but tbf we know he's into some freaky shit....but STILL)
calling him an "impish little plaything," "itty bitty imp," "blitzy," etc
embarrassing him in public and dirty talking to him on the phone with your daughter in the same room
treating his entire race as a whole like complete and utter trash then denying it and basically saying "UM i don't see color (species) uwu~"
trying to make him feel guilty for not rescuing you when he was taking his daughter to get a very important shot that literally prevents her from dying which she is five years overdue for already, a daughter who is also terrified and needs his support (being a supportive dad? what's that lol)
so many other things i can't even think of rn
no? no. then shut the fuck up u ugly ass bird
#helluva boss /////#listen i know stolas is *supposedly* written to not be self aware on purpose but the show has not called him out for any of this#at least not yet. and if they don't soon then that's a fucking problem#he's had fleeting moments of clarity where he STARTS to get it but then it's torn down by other characters saying 'no u did nothing wrong i#*it's his fault' like he is so BABIED by the plot i cannot stand it#i've seen people say that he's not a hypocrite bc he stopped treating blitz as badly after ozzie's but like....he needs to acknowledge#how he acted before???#blitz is more self aware than this bitch and openly admits that he has done/said fucked up shit#he also hates himself and wants to get better and be better#stolas doesn't think he's done anything wrong at all#sorry i get....heated lol#anti stolitz
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One of my absolute favorite “cliche” tropes is amnesia fics where reader has been dating character for years, but they forget and then they can only remember dating their ex. So it’s like they go back to the ex because it’s all they’ve ever known, and their current love has to cope with seeing the love of their life in the arms of another guy.
I could read that trope a million times over and never get bored or think it’s too repetitive.
#bonus points with him trying to help you remember but not wanting to like scare you or freak you out???#and even better for like Sanemi when there’s no phones or cameras to show text messages???#or photographs#and he REGRETS not writing you letters so badly then sigh#or like Bakugou not giving up but like caring about your welfare so much that he just kinda watches you with your ex?#cause he’s seen you in the hospital for weeks/months and knows how shit it’s been for you? how sad and lonely you’ve been#and he missed seeing you happy— even if this time it’s at the hands of another man#but he subtly leaves you gifts like your favourite flowers???#like maybe it sparks something inside you? because you tell everyone your favourite flowers are roses#but you find fresh tulips on your bedside table each morning after he visits? and it like grabs at something at the back of your mind???#or he brings you coffee and he’s somehow the only one that gets it right??? but it’s something you’d never order?#like you ask for oat milk but he brings it with coconut milk and it just tastes better? and you’re like I didn’t even know I liked this???#and your ex is just like ‘she likes oat milk’ like MATE NO WE DO NOT#I WILL EAT THIS UP WITH A SPOON AND WOLF IT DOWN YOU HAVE NO IDEA
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I'm gonna bully Lif again
I'll admit, some of these answers don't cover all the bases, but. What are we thinking, here. What is The Truth behind The Twink Death? 🤨🎤
I will also be accepting write-in responses as usual 🫡
#fire emblem#feh#fe lif#fe alfonse#one answer i refuse to put on here just bc of how badly i think it would squeue results:#has exclusive access to bruno's workout routine#BUT I FEEL LIKE. IF I PUT THAT AS AN OPTION. EVERYONE WOULD PICK IT. I WOULD PICK IT IN A HEARTBEAT#some of my own notes: changing up the body modification option to be more vague#BUT. some thoughts were 'via surgery/magic' and specifying he sought it out himself#i just simplified it to look better on the poll. but the IDEA here. ESPP in the same vein as the insoles#i cannot remember where. but i feel like it's canon that alfonse has a degree of body dysmorphia?#or at very least has some insecurity about it. not being as tall as gustav/bruno (sir. you are allegedly 5'11.)#and not being as muscular as them either. i swear to god i'm not just making this up. it has to exist in SOME obscure line somewhere#or i just hallucinated that. but then again i found out one of my long-standing hcs actually had a basis IN canon#i just. forgor. so. anything is possible 💪💪💪 (this one was about alfonse/sharena/bruno being childhood friends)#badly wanted to make another undead joke but now i'm paranoid that i'm spreading misinfo#like i think The Lore is that lif and theasir were sole survivors. technically not rezzed. but like.... gah#i do gotta finish my book 3 replay. i promise i will. i'm SO close (has to do book 2 quotes first)#still the embalming accident option no elaboration is just too funny to me. cannot pass it up#ALSO. ALSO. the veggies/milk option. is mostly a joke but goes back to my hcs about#alfonse being scrawny as a kid up until he joins the order. actually starts to fill out more#when he feels inexplicably more secure. also sharena helping any way she can.#LIKE. ALL OF THESE ARE SILLY. but a lot of them have internal lore reasons. varying degrees of actual canonness#i also want each option to be compelling in some way. like what does this say about him#or what happened to him. just. in general.#THERE'S. KINDA NO GREATER PURPOSE TO THIS BTW. kinda.#it's just that whenever i think anything even vaguely related to book 3 i get the UNFATHOMABLY PROFOUND URGE#to stick a kick me note on lif's back and wait.#it's either that or just blackout horny. no in between. also the grief. i need to kill him again.
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Can’t believe that I technically created another oc just to make this painting. Diabolical
Anyhow uhhh Bluebelle and Bluebeard :)))
#I’m SO proud of this design for him I love it SO much#what a dastardly scoundrel#what an evil man#not so proud of the painting itself but eh#sometimes you do what you gotta do#and the faces turned out alright#my eyes hurt so badly I took my glasses off so I could focus more (oxymoron(also an actual moron))#and!! put my hair into a high ponytail and now I know why cheerleaders are so peppy all the time#it’s so swishy#anyhowwww I’m not good at angst or ideassss sooooo have a pose I found on Pintrest#a really fun one#I’m so tired#BUT SCHOOL ENDED TODAY WHEEEEEEEE#HOORAY!!!!#now I can go get my rib checkout (what’s happening there brooo)#if anyone who’s better at angst wants to help me with this it’d be greatly appreciated whhsgshshdgdbfb#help#cats the musical#cats musical#cats oc#jellicle oc#sorah’s silly scribbles#can I tag this as Bluebeard?#imma tag this as Bluebeard#bluebeard#bluebelle cats
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my romantic self-esteem is just absolutely rock-solid. for whatever reason!
#I’m a catch!#and I’m so not interested in anybody who wouldn’t demonstrably make my life better in every way#and that involves not being afraid of me or the idea of romance/marriage in general#and if you are afraid it just isn’t interesting or attractive enough for me#there was a boy a few years ago and tbh I think he liked me#and I liked him! he was cute he was intense in an endearing way#and he was smart#we argued about Taylor and then the next time I saw him he was like Christmas tree farm is a good song#(it had just come out)#and he never did anything about it and then he moved away and that is totally fine#and I wish him well.#but the crush was killed by the simple fact that he never liked me enough to say it#like truly and with all (non-romantic) love; go with God#at that point lol#that said I have never wanted marriage or children as an abstract concept#so it makes it much easier to think along these lines#it would be so devastating to want it so badly and not get it!#but I can’t even imagine summoning the desire for it in an abstract sense#I’ll meet someone and love them and then that will lead to marriage and possibly children#or I won’t#but both roads look about the same to me in terms of desire#or any desire big enough worth mentioning#not talking about the whispers or the daydreams that do sometimes intrude#but yeah I don’t think full desire would come until there was a person#and there might not be! I cannot conjure them from the deeps lol#anyway I’ll stop talking about it because I know it can be sensitive/delicate to talk about#in a public setting
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