#shes not concerned she doesnt try to offer help or any more support besides the hug

[fung-fungus]

the way jack is like “he’s fine” when will, sick as a dog, shot a man outside of alana’s house at ass o’ clock is ASTOUNDING

like ik jack’s always terrible and overworks will but why does it take hannibal urging jack to do something?

why did no one but hannibal notice will was sick and not doing well AND did something about it?

ik it’s an obvious running theme about the ablism in how people besides hannibal treat will (yes even beverly) but god every time i find a new instance of it or a new angle i fly in to rage

[suituuup]

When Beca Mitchell is diagnosed with MS, she agonises over what it will mean for her career and more importantly, her relationship. But if there’s one thing Chloe Beale knows for a fact, it’s that nothing, including MS, will get in the way of their love.

for better or worse

Rating: T

ao3 link

*

Multiple Sclerosis.

Beca blinks at the doctor’s words as she sits in his office, the news shaking her to the core. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of medical tests ever since Beca went to her GP after dealing for months with blurred vision, vertigo, pains in her hands, and general exhaustion.

She didn’t think much of it at first. Work has been crazy since the start of the year and Beca’s been too excited about Chloe’s pregnancy to focus on her state, but Chloe has been worried it might be more serious and insisted she got some tests done.

Beca’s heard of MS before, but isn’t sure of what it means or if there’s a treatment for it. “What-- um… How is that going to affect my life, exactly?”

She suddenly wishes she’d said yes when Chloe offered to take the afternoon off to come with her to this appointment, because she really needs a hand to hold right now. Beca assured her it would be fine, that it was probably nothing.

But now… she’s fucking terrified.

It doesn’t help that her doctor doesn’t have time to answer all those questions barreling into her brain at full speed, instead sending her home with a few pamphlets and the number of a specialist.

Beca’s walk home is a complete blur, her feet carrying her on auto-pilot back to their building complex. She spends the rest of the afternoon online, researching whatever she can on the disease. Her panic only grows the more she learns about it, and when Chloe steps through the door an hour later, Beca’s still sat on the couch with her computer propped against her thighs, pamphlets and handwritten notes sprawled around her as she stares blankly at her screen.

Two words have etched their ways into her skull.

No cure.

“Babe?” Chloe asks as she takes off her coat, hanging it by the door. “What did the doctor say? I got worried when I didn’t get a text after I got out of surgery.”

Beca snaps out of her daze, her gaze finding her wife’s as she rounds the corner to their living room. Chloe’s eyes drop to the documents laying next to Beca, and she takes it between her fingers, her silence deafening as she reads the title.

“Oh my god,” she eventually croaks out, her trembling hand blindly reaching out for the back of the couch as she lowers herself on the surface. “You should have called me.”

Beca shrugs. “I know you were in the middle of surgery,” she says quietly, puffing out a breath as her eyes roll towards the ceiling to keep from crying. “So this really fucking sucks.”

She knows a dozen of questions if not more are hindering Chloe’s ability to think right now, much like they did to her back at the doctor’s office, and Beca reaches across the pamphlets to cover Chloe’s hand.

“I have an appointment with a specialist next week, she’ll answer any questions we have.”

Chloe visibly swallows, blinking away the moisture in her eyes. “Right, okay.” A few tears slide down her cheeks despite her efforts to get rid of them, and she hastily wipes them off, swearing under her breath. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t,” Beca requests softly, squeezing her hand. “I know it’s a lot.”

Chloe shuffles closer, draping her legs over Beca’s and snuggling into her side. “I love you.”

Closing her eyes, Beca basks into the comfort only her wife’s affection can provide. She knows whatever’s ahead of her, they’ll figure out how to live with it. “I love you, too.”

The next few weeks and months don’t bring much change to Beca’s daily life. She’s still tired and achy, but it doesn’t prevent her from going to work and getting the job done on her many projects. She can tell Chloe is trying her best to be supportive without crossing to the overbearing side of things.

Her first relapse shows up six months after her diagnosis. It starts with blurry vision towards the end of her work day and dizziness throughout the evening. She retreats to bed around seven and sleeps for twelve hours, waking up in more pain than she’s ever felt before. Her limbs feel exceptionally heavy and tingly all over, and it takes Beca a few minutes to realize the bedding underneath her is damp, and so are her pajamas bottoms.

Humiliation washes over her in a cold sweat when it dawns on her that she peed herself during the night. She can hear Chloe in the shower and is determined for her wife not to find out about that shameful episode, attempting to get up to change the sheets. Her body is not agreeing with her though, and the simple act of sitting up is too much for her weakened muscles that she soon gives up altogether.

The reality of her disease crashes into her all at once, the emotional turmoil she’s been trying to push down over the last few months spiraling in her chest like a tiny tornado. She bursts into tears right there, ugly sobs wrecking her from the inside out as she curls up into a fetal position.

“Baby?” She feels a hand on her arm and burrows deeper in the covers. “It’s okay, let it out.”

“I can’t get up,” she eventually manages, opening her eyes to find Chloe staring at her in concern. “I can’t get up.”

“Oh, babe…” Chloe strokes her hair gently and leans in to kiss her forehead. “I’ll call your work, okay? Tell them you’re not feeling well. You stay in bed, I’ll be right back.”

It takes Chloe a few minutes to do so, and she comes back with a glass of water which she sets on Beca’s bedside table.

“Do you want to eat anything?”

Beca shakes her head faintly. “Chlo…” Her chest tightens with shame. “I need to get up.”

“No, you don’t. Work can wait, alright? You need to take care of yourself first.”

Beca shakes her head once more. Even finding words is exhausting. It feels as though her brain is all fogged up. “I wet the bed.”

Realization and brief shock flash in Chloe’s eyes, but she quickly recovers. “Okay, that’s okay. I’ll help you up and change the sheets, alright?”

Beca whimpers; Chloe is her wife, not her caretaker, she shouldn’t have to do this. But It’s not like they have much of a choice right now.

“Come on, I’ll help you into the shower.”

With Chloe’s help, Beca manages to slowly shuffle towards the bathroom. She sits down on the toilet, more tears leaking out of her eyes as she takes in her current state.

“Hey,” Chloe whispers, kneeling beside her and cupping her cheek tenderly. “Nothing to be ashamed about. It’s not your fault.”

Beca remains silent, keeping her eyes fastened on the bathroom tile.

“I’ll go grab a chair so you can sit in the shower, okay?”

“K,” Beca mutters.

Chloe returns less than a minute later and helps Beca undress, then helps her into the shower. Beca is thankfully strong enough to wash herself so Chloe doesn’t have to do it for her, though it feels like a work-out of its own.

“Chlo?” She calls out ten minutes later. “I’m ready.”

“Coming!”

Chloe’s obviously seen Beca naked more times than Beca can count, but not like this; frail and weak and unable to fucking take care of herself. She wraps a large towel around Beca’s body and guides her back to the toilet.

“I took today off, too,” Chloe says as she rubs Beca’s skin dry.

Beca wants to argue with that, but she can’t; she doesn’t know how worse it’s going to get throughout the day and doesn’t feel like she can deal with it on her own.

“Thanks,” she croaks out, sniffling. “‘M’sorry I’m like this.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Chloe murmurs, glancing up. “You hear me?”

Beca puffs out a breath and eventually nods. Chloe helps her put on a clean pair of pajamas, long sleeve shirt and a hoodie, and Beca settles down on the couch with a blanket, preferring to be in the living room.

She weaves in and out of sleep for the next few hours, waking up just after lunch claiming she’s not hungry. She does accept the herbal tea Chloe makes her, and Chloe settles at the head of the couch once she’s done drinking it, Beca propping her head onto her lap.

“Maybe you should think about telling your boss?”

Beca has avoided doing so since finding out, because she didn’t see the point of making a bigger deal out of it than it was up until today.

“I know, I just…” She sighs. “I’m afraid the label might give me shitty projects if I tell them. What I’m doing right now, it’s been my dream for so long, Chlo. And I finally have it and now--” She inhales sharply, forcing the lump in her throat back down. “I’m terrified it might crumble. Not only my job, but our marriage whenever it becomes too hard for you and--”

“Baby,” Chloe interrupts softly, stroking Beca’s forehead with the pad of her thumb. “That is not going to happen. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You don’t know that,” Beca croaks out. As much as she wants to believe Chloe, neither of them has a crystal ball to predict the future. “We don’t know how bad it might get. I could lose my sight, or not be able to walk anymore or-- we have a baby on the way. I just, I can’t be a burden to you.”

“We’ll learn to live with it,” Chloe murmurs, sliding her free hand in Beca’s. “This is all so new, we need to find our footing. You just started your treatment, and the relapses aren’t going to last forever. We’ll find professional help for whenever you do have them, and losing your sight or ability to walk is not going to make me love you any less, Bec.”

Beca swallows. “Promise me you’ll put yourself first if it becomes too much, okay? Promise me.”

If the disease were to ruin her life, Beca doesnt want it to ruin Chloe’s or their child’s as well.

“Okay, I promise,” Chloe whispers, blinking back tears. “I love you so much.”

Beca closes her eyes, letting those words wash over her. “I love you, too.” She twists her head to press her lips to the gentle swell of Chloe’s belly. “And you.”

She’s bedridden for four days, and requires the use of crutches for a week after that as her balance is really off. There’s no more avoiding possible in telling her boss about her condition, but he proves to be incredibly understanding and reassuring about Beca’s future with the label.

Over the next few months, she works with a personal coach to strengthen her balance, and finds a neurologist who specializes in MS. It takes a little while, but they eventually manage to find a treatment for which the side effects aren’t too heavy and which considerably slows down the progress of the disease.

Chloe is incredibly supportive, not that Beca is at all surprised, and somehow, learning to live with MS brings them closer and strengthens their bond.

She relapses a few months after Micah’s birth, and Chloe’s parents move in for the couple weeks it lasts as Beca can’t do much to help out. Micah’s presence keeps her from falling in a depressive state over that lapse of time where getting out of bed is difficult, as her entire right side is paralized. He often naps with her, or hangs out on she and Chloe’s bed during tummy time, his smiles and gurgles keeping Beca afloat.

“Hi,” Chloe whispers as she rounds the corner, hearts flashing from her eyes as she takes in the scene before her. Micah is fast asleep sprawled across Beca’s torso, his fingers curled around loose fabric from her top.

“Hey,” Beca attempts a smile, though it comes out crooked as she can’t control the right side of her mouth. “How was work?”

Her speech is slurred, too, but Chloe manages to understand her most of the time.

Still clad in her scrubs, Chloe gently climbs into bed, settling on her side beside her family. She kisses Beca’s cheek. “It was alright. I missed you guys, though.”

“Missed you, too.”

“My parents just went out to get groceries,” Chloe lets her know. “How’s my sexy pirate doing?”

Due to vision loss in her right eye, Beca wears an eye-patch to lessen skewed vision. She should regain her sight once she’s in remission.

“Feeling very unsexy,” she replies with a soft chuckle. “Same old. My leg’s been tingling though so that’s progress.”

“You’ll be walking again soon,” Chloe states, smiling softly. “And the three of us can have a fun day at the park.”

“Mhm, that sounds perfect.” She sighs as Chloe’s head finds her shoulder, and twists her head to kiss her hair.

As Micah grows up, he learns that sometimes his Mama has “bad days”, which means she can’t get out of bed much. One of his things whenever he’s home during those times is to move his toys to Mama’s room and play quietly on the floor so she’s not lonely. He also naps next to her and reads stories to keep her entertained, and sometimes wears an eye patch when she has to, so he can be a pirate himself.

He and Chloe are Beca’s sunshine, always there to battle the clouds with smiles, laughter and hugs, whenever they get too dark.

[leelee10898]

Fast cars & Freedom: Finally home (16/16)

Here it is... the final chapter had arrived. Thank you everyone for riding along with me on this. My first attempt at ROD, althought we may be closing out this, it doesnt mean we have seen the last of this gang. I have some one shots and possibly a mini planned in the future!

I want to give a few special shot outs @riseandshinelittleblossom for pushing me to do this. @brightpinkpeppercorn for putting up with my crazy venting self!! And also the babies first name! @choicesarehard for her amazing edits and @desiree-0816 for being the biggest cheerleader.

Pairing: Colt x Ellie, mpc crew and friends.

Rating: fluff

This song I picked because it sums up Colt in a nutshell.. also its from one of my favorite movies, and gave me slight inspiration.

Ellie sat slouched back on the couch indian style, amazed she could even get her feet to bend that way.   Any Day now she sighed, her hand rested on her swollen belly. She was huge this time around, much bigger than with Luca, her feet were swollen and she couldn't fall asleep without a back rub. "Well she's asleep, finally." She smiled at the shirtless man in front of her as he laid on the couch, his head resting in her lap. "How many books did it take?" She giggled as she ran her fingers through his dark locks. "Only two tonight.  guess the rehearsal dinner wore her out." A sudden jolt against her stomach collided against the side of his head.

He turned facing her stomach, one hand on the side "Hello in there. You can come out now, daddy can't wait to meet you." He spoke to her stomach, placing a soft kiss against her bare skin. Ellie smiled looking down at him, the sight completely melting her heart. The baby always reacted hearing Colts voice prompting a dance party usually.  They weren't sure what the sex was, both wanting to let it be a surprise. If someone had of told her almost a year ago that this would be her life, she would have laughed. Yet here she was married to Colt, raising their daughter together with another on the way, living next to the beach and ridiculously happy. Any time now  she whispered again. "We should probably get to bed, big day tomorrow." Colt stood, kissing her forehead. "Mmhmm." She practically hummed. She had been having Braxton hicks contractions the past few days, on top of the swelling and the last minute preparations for her dad's wedding, she was exhausted.

"You ok baby?" Colt looked at her concerned.  "Yeah, just these braxton hicks again. Help me up?" She held her hand out as Colt carefully helped her off the couch. They made their way up the stairs slowly, Ellie in some pain, but she hid it from Colt. Her dad was getting Married tomorrow and she was not missing it. She knew Colt would take it as a sign she was in labor, and rush her to the hospital.  The doctor and Ingrid both told her that the Braxton hicks contractions were going to be felt more intense the end time around, and she was positive that's what it was, besides she was almost 2 weeks late with Luca, her due date was a week away.

They laid in bed, colt started at her feet, then her stomach, shoulders and then her back. He had been amazing throughout the whole pregnancy,  never missed an appointment or ultrasound, always attentive, took every mood swing and craving in stride, and he massaged her swollen, achy body every night.  He was an amazing Husband and Father, Ellie thanked god and Logan every chance she got, that they talked her out of going through with the divorce. Sure he was a smart ass, and stubborn to boot, but he was always there for her, had her back and supported her no matter what and he genuinely cherished every moment he spent with them.

The past 8 months have been such an amazing time for them. Colt and Luca were like two peas in a pod. They witty banter between the two kept Ellie in stitches and on her toes. They had drove to Lake Tahoe to see Colts mother, who apologized profusely for stepping in and causing problems.  Ellie and Colt both accepted and they had an amazing relationship. She had pulled out all of Colts photos growing up to show Ellie and Luca. Ellie forming the conclusion that Luca indeed looked just like Colt as a baby. If she had of seen those pictures before the plate test, she was certain that she would have known instantly.

Darcy and Colt spoiled the hell out of her, Darcy ecstatic to have a granddaughter and equally happy to have another little one coming. She literally pissed her pants when she went to open the back door one day and was greeted by a small pony. Of course Colt bought her the damn pony, she knew he would. She had to double check that, neither He nor Toby stole said pony, old habits and all. So yes, everything and everyone was amazing and blissful.

Ellie shot out of bed with a sharp pain to the abdomen. She let out a low, dull sounding moan shit that one hurt. She waddled to the bathroom and got into a warm shower, relaxing her immediately. After her shower she waddled naked back to the bed. Colt rolled over, rubbing her stomach. "You ok?"

"Yeah, just uncomfortable. Lets try and get some more rest, big day ahead of us." She tried to assure him, hoping he bought it.

A few hours later they were up, and out of the house. Colt had bought a minivan for Ellie, although he drove it more then she did.  He had his and ellies hospital bags packed and in the van, along with the car seat installed and the diaper bag ready to go. Colt played no games when it came to being prepared for this baby, he could not even wait. They had a quick breakfast with Frank, sally, Logan and Stacie before the girls were separated and taken for hair and makeup. Ellie was Sallys maid of honor,  Stacie a bridesmaid. Ellie sat in the chair, taking deep breaths, stacie looked over at her "You ok?" Ellie gave her a quick yes, but she knew Stacie didn't buy it. Once Sally stepped into the changing room Ellie tried to walk over to the couch, but a strong pain hit her like a brick. She doubled over and Stacie was on her. "You're in labor aren't you?" Ellie gave her a pleading look. "I don't know. I don't want to ruin my dads wedding. Just let me get through the ceremony.  Please don't say anything especially to my husband." She paused looking down at Stacies slight bump "or I'll tell Logan its a boy."

"Fine! But you know he doesn't want to know yet.   Stacie snapped.

Sally walked out the girls dropped their conversation. "Sally, you look so beautiful.  Dad's going to cry." Ellie teared up. "Really Sally, you look so beautiful." Stacie confirmed. Just then they heard a knock on the door. "Knock knock. I came to collect a bride." Logan popped in, his eyes settling on his mother. It was an odd, yet great feeling to see his mom getting married. Logan grew up without any one, and in such a short time he gained an entire family and was starting his own. The photographer came in to take pictures, first of Sally alone.  Ellie hunched over again, this time Logan seeing it. "Ellie, you ok?" She looked up at him, trying her best to lie "oooh yeah. This one just kicked me, hard." He gave her an unbelieving look, before setting his gaze on stacie. "Colts kid." She offered up.

They finished taking pictures, Logan walked his mom down the aisle to a teary eyed Frank. Ellie was right, her father cried, and so did Sally, Ellie, Stacie and Riya. Colt and Logan served as Franks groomsmen. They made their way to the reception Colt and Luca sitting next to Ellie who was taking deep breaths. "Ellie, what's wrong?" He asked concerned. "Nothing. Im fine, just standing too long." She lied.  

"Maybe we should go to the -" Ellie cut him off.

"No Colt! We are not going to the hospital and ruin my dads wedding for nothing. So please lets just enjoy the day ok?"

She knew it may be a good idea to go, the contractions were stronger,  closer together then they had been. Still she wanted to be there for her dad.

The reception in full swing, Luca dancing up a storm, she was the life of the party. They followed through with the motions, wedding party dances,  dinner that Ellie barely touched. She sat at the table, shoes off and extremely uncomfortable. Colt crossed the room standing before her "Dance with me Mrs Kaneko?" He gave her a devilish smirk that made her heart soar. "Of course. But only because you look incredibly sexy right now." She took his hand and joined him on the dance floor. The swayed together as close as they could possibly get, before Ellie stopped abruptly. Colt slipped a little "Shit, be careful El. I think someone spilled something." He said looking down at the puddle by their feet. "My water. My water broke." She looked up at him, wide eyed. "Your. Oh shit." He looked around for help, he had no idea what to do in that moment.

Ellie doubled over, a wave of extremely strong contradictions hitting her hard. "Ok, just breathe El. Were gonna get to the hospital." Colt looked up, seeing Logan "Logan, I need your help." Logan, noticing the panicked look on his face rushed over. "The baby's coming. I need your car."  Colt told him, Logans car was much faster than the minivan. Ellie let out a painful moan, getting the attention of pretty much the entire room. Logan tossed him the keys, colt giving him the keys to their van. "Mom, can you keep Luca for us?" Colt looked towards his mother. "Of course. We will be up soon. Good luck you two." Darcy gave them each a quick kiss and hug.

"What's going on?" Frank came up, concerned.  "Babys coming. We gotta get to the hospital." Colt filled him in as he ushered Ellie towards the exit. "I'm coming with you guys." Frank insisted. "No daddy. Finish the wedding, please." She groaned out. "Ellie I-"

"No. You have fun. Come up after ok." She cut him off. "I love you Eliana."

"Wait for me. I'm coming with you guys." Riya insisted.  Colt nodded and off they went.

Colt speed to the hospital, they rushed inside and were whisked away to a room. Riya called the doctor ahead to inform him that Ellie's water had broken and she was on the way to the hospital. "Hi mrs Kaneko. Im kelly, I'll be your nurse. Dr Coulson will be here soon." The short blonde woman said, taking her blood pressure and hooking her up to monitors. Another contraction hit her hard "oooooh god." She screamed out as colt grabbed her hand "breathe El." He tried calming her as she firmly gripped his hand. "Ok. Your contractions are consistent,  lets see what progress you've made." She checked dilation and station. "Oh wow, your at 8 hun. And the baby is low. Let me try and get the doctor on the phone." Kelly stood, quickly exiting the room another contraction hit hard and she almost jumped off the table. "Whoa Ellie." He steadied her. "It hurts. Fuck!" She hollered. "I know baby. Your doing so good. What did you do with Luca to ease the pain?" He asked. "I had an epidural. This fucking hurts." Finally the dr walked in.

"Hello Ellie, colt. Ready to have a baby?" Dr Coulson smiled. "Beyond ready doc." Colt beamed. Ellie nodded,  sweaty and heavy breathing. "Yeah, pressure, lots of pressure. can I get something for the, ooooh pain?"

"Well. You were at 8 a little bit ago. Let's see where your at now." The dr checked her, shaking his head. "Well, this baby is ready to come out. Your at 10."

Everything happened fast, Colt stood there at Ellie's side gripping her hand as she put her feet in the stirrups. He could feel the adrenaline kicking in, like he was just about to race.  "Ok Ellie, with the next contraction i'm going to need you to push." Dr Coulson ordered.

Ellie beared down and pushed hard, Once, twice. Colt was amazed as he watched the woman he loved bring the life they created into the world. The baby's black full head of hair first, another big push and the baby was all the way out. "You did it El. Our baby is here." He sobbed as they heard their child's healthy set of lungs. "Its a boy." Dr Coulson announced.  "We have a son Colt." Ellie sniffled. They cleaned him up and placed him in Ellies chest. "He's beautiful." Colt showered her in kisses. The nurse snapped a few photos for them before he was taken to the warmer and weighed and measured. He was 8lbs 6oz 21 ½ inches, had a head full of jet black hair and looked exactly like a scrunched up version of Colt.

They nurse brought him back over, placing him in Ellies arms. Colt sat on the bed next to his wife and son, Ellie looked up at his blissful face she knew exactly what he needed. "Here you go daddy." Ellie said as she handed him off. Colt took the tiny person in his arms,he looked down at his son, a sense of pride washing over him. He had texted his mom after they were given the ok for visitors, a short while later Darcy walked in with a shy Luca. An odd sight if they ever saw one, the once outspoken, opinionated 6 year old was now  cowering behind her grandmother.

"Hey princess. You want to come meet your baby brother?" Colt beamed at his daughter. She nodded her head hurrying over as colt squatted down to her level. "He's so tiny." Her small voice almost a whisper. Darcy came over to hug Ellie before taking a glance at her new grandson. "He looks just like you did as a baby." Colt looked up and smiled. "So, we got a name for this little guy?" Darcy eyes the two. "We do." Ellie spoke, "but we're waiting to tell everyone when they get here."

They didn't have to wait long,  the room filled with all of their family and friends. Barley anyroom to stand,  they all crowded around the sweet little bundle of joy. Another momento of the love they shared,  and someone to share the over abundance of aunts and uncles they had. Colt sat next to Ellie as she held their son, Luca on the other side. Everyone snapping pictures of the happy family in front of them. "Ok everybody, Colt and I would like to formally introduce you all to our son." She smiled as she looked to Colt. "Everyone, meet Cade Teppei Kaneko."

They chose to name him after Colts dad, who they were sure was looking down on them. He wasn't there for Colt, but Colt was sure he would have been for his Children.  Ellie may have started out as someone the crew used for information, but in a short time she changed them all, for the better. Colt stood back, looking at the group of people in front of him. The motto of the crew was always look out for yourself, somehow along the way they became a family. Ellie came into his life like a hurricane and turned his world around. He once told her she was his queen, that they would run the city together but these days he was thinking bigger.  She was his queen, but not of the city, she was queen of the world, his world.

He closed his eyes, envisioning his father. "Life is good pop. And it's only going to get better."

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[onyxavier]

A Tharja Take, as I see her as a character.

First of all, I want to clear some things up. No Tharja is not perfect, Yes she is a stalker, I know she is not a good person but holy shit people have the dumbest and most shallow reasons to just throw shit around so I decided to make a full blown post about Tharja explaining some things as I see them, this is not meant to change peoples minds or be a “THARJA IS BEST FUCK YOU IF YOU THINK THE OPPOSITE” so do NOT take it as such. Its okay to like a character , its okay to not like a character but you know what its not okay? To hate on the character, insult it and everyone who likes him/her. If you have to fill your blog with hate for a character and insults besides from the obvious point of it not being okay , I am sorry but youve got issues, being passionates okay but being passionate about negativity? Thats messed up 

Besides the fact that many people just insult Tharja because…she exists and dont even bother getting to know the character, the issue is that shes a stalker. Yes its unhealthy, yes its creepy to pretty much everyone , she even looks at Robin while he sleeps. I doubt anyone would try to make an excuse about how its not creepy. Its a negative trait OBVIOUSLY and everyone can agree on that but if you think its all that Tharja is then…thats a dumb stance on the character, every character has its fair share of good and bad traits. While her stalker demeanor is her most obvious and probably biggest trait, theres other things to consider. She was raised by dark mages to the point she believes its “right” for dark mages to be creepy, solitary and have a dark aura like she states in her support with Henry, its like honoring the profession. Its not an excuse but just the way the character is.

Henry states that when someone uses dark magic they get depressed until they kill someone with it or use curses, making the mages go to a state of euphoria and causing drastic changes in their mood, attitude and personality.

Tharja is by no means a good person but not necessarily bad. She knew Gangrel was a shitty king and hated the kind of king he was, she knows the difference between “good” and “evil” and stays loyal to Chrom. She knows how dangerous dark magic can be and knows the effects it can have on people , hence why she doesnt target her own army or condone the use of it. Doesnt take away the fact that she enjoys murdering and cursing but knows the dangers about them.

Only in Robins support she begins as a “good” person, I believe theres not a single support where she starts conversation and in some, like in Donnels case, she sends him off to a cave to search for ingredients or something? I dont remember but think its something around those lines. She doesnt really begin being friendly but youd be amazed how caring and sweet she gets in her supports, and they dont even need to be S supports. In plenty of supports (havent seen all/dont remember all) like Lonqus, Libras, Kellam and Gregors she aids them to overcome their traumas or in general, with Kellam she helps him know about his parents situation and to deliver a message I think. She gets concerned and worried about them, offering her help, at first mentioning some sort of payment but grows fond of them to the point she cares and wants to help. Frederick got wounded in battle indirectly because of Tharja and she tended to his wounds, saying she would accept her punishment knowing that what she did was wrong. In Vaikes support she CRIES at the death of soldiers, blaming herself because she couldnt do enough to prevent it. Tharja is not just a “shitty thot stalker” , shes kind and caring, shes undoubtedly a stalker, and not a good person but it doesnt mean she is a bad one.

I really have no idea why they call her a thot unless its a joke, since her outfit makes sense…living in a literal desert sounds hot and exhausting, living her whole life in it I assume she wanted to wear something comfortable, I know I would. Not to mention she doesnt even realize how revealing her outfit is or just not paying attention to it, if she did or wanted to be an actual thot there wouldnt be any reason for her to hide her breasts with her book 24/7 and the most important part, get incredibly ashamed about it when Cordelia points it out. She even needs to use a talisman to hide her embarassment for gods sake. Not to mention she wants to kill the men who talked about her assets when Nowi pointed it out, she despies men and people who care only about appearance, made known in Vaikes support.

One cant really argue about her obsession with the avatar and say its okay to get married to someone else and call them your 2nd most important person in your life I completely agree.

Moving on to the “abuse”. Let us not forget theres more than one timeline involved, where the MC becomes Grima and the one youre playing the game. In MC->Grima timeline she does hex Noire constantly….let us make a quick recap. In that future , where everyone is pretty much dying, where the MC is thought to be dead (Tharjas number 1 person) , where theres nowhere to run, everythings gone to shit and some people do argue that the reason behind Tharjas constant hexing was to make Noire more resistant to magic although theres no proof. Now, the most important thing about all this is…the tharja from that timeline is a DIFFERENT Tharja. Its a separate dimension, making all people there different in one way or another to the people in the main dimension. To explain it in two different ways , are you the same person you were 5 years ago? Im sure youre not , no one is. To put it in even simpler terms…why dont people hate Robin? He killed Chrom and pretty much everyone right? Because it was another timeline and not the actual MC, simple as that.

[oraclesoftime]

Futures Known But Unspoken

CHAPTER 20 Patience is A Virtue Lane was woken up by someone shaking her shoulders, the woman groaning slightly before turning her head to see Balin standing behind her. “Wake up and gather yourself lassie; we’re leaving,” the older dwarf claimed, releasing her shoulder. Lane groaned again but nodded, knowing that they had stayed long enough as it was. Balin quickly left the room as Lane managed to drag herself out of her bed and throw on her clothes, flinching and letting out a small whimper when the collar of her tunic brushed against her head. After readying herself and quietly leaving her room, she quickly found the others silently standing by the stairs, Belle appearing behind her not a minute later with something strapped onto her back that Lane didn’t recognise. “Let’s go,” Thorin ordered, leading the way. Everyone nodded and followed after their leader, being sure to keep quiet so that their leaving would go unnoticed. Belle quickly fell in step with Lane giving her friend a groggy smile which Lane did her best to return. “Is that a bow and quiver?” Lane asked with a small laugh. “Yeah, as much as I wanted to stick by your side when you were knocked out, everyone kept hounding me to do something. Glorfindel was actually the one who helped me to learn, this is the bow he offered to make me yesterday,” Belle hummed, taking the weapon off of her back and showing it to her friend. “So that’s why you seemed so relaxed around him; you’d met him before,” Lane hummed, finally connecting the dots. “Well I’m glad you weren’t moping, not like it ever does any good.” Belle rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the smile that spread across her features, pulling on the bow string a few times causing it to make a small humming noise before placing it on her back once again. As the group reached the borders of Rivendell, rather than taking the path they had coming in, Thorin lead them out a hidden eastern road that had them climbing up a nearby cliff. “Well I hope you’re happy,” Lane whispered. “About what?” Belle asked, giving the taller a confused look. “We won’t be riding ponies until… later,” Lane snickered, giving her friend a knowing look. Belle couldn’t help but beam, the smile quickly leaving her face however when Lane teetered to the side mid-step, Belle’s arms instantly shooting up to steady her. “Are you sure you’re alright?” Belle asked, a small whimper in her voice. “I’ll be fine, just a little woozy,” Lane sighed, managing to steady herself before walking forward again. Belle could only nod as she continued to follow after her friend. “Be on your guard, we’re about to step over the edge of the wilds,” Thorin claimed, no longer having to whisper. “Balin. You know these paths, lead on.” The older dwarf nodded and lead the way further along the path with the others following behind him. As the two women continued to follow the others, Lane’s body slipped again, Belle releasing a loud gasp as she reached forward to catch her friend, Bofur however being faster, spun around and caught the woman’s shoulder. “Easy there Champion, don’t want to have to shave the other side of yer head,” he teased, not able to hide the concerned look in his eye. “Thanks Bofur, coming from you that’s a compliment,” Lane snickered with a small sigh. The miner nodded and helped her to stand upright again before beginning to walk again, Lane and Belle right behind him. The company managed to find their way out of the rocky path with Balin’s apparent knowledge of the road and soon came upon a vast field of dry grass. They kept a steady pace, not too fast but not too slow, and for every step they took, Lane could feel Thorin’s glare boring into her from the front of the group. She wasn’t necessarily slowing them down; Oin only ever being a few feet ahead of herself, Belle and Bilbo; the healer choosing to stay near the back of the group should Lane need aid. While she was indeed grateful for his thoughtfulness towards her, it also made her feel weak and in need of protection, something that took a huge blow to her pride. Sure there was the occasional misstep or flash of dizziness that raced through her head, but it wasn’t anything serious; Belle hadn’t told her that her wound was suddenly bleeding again so there was no need to make such a big fuss. It was when a particularly painful throb wracked not just her head, but her entire body when Lane fell to her knees with a painful yelp. “Lane!!” Belle cried, dashing up to her friend. Oin was kneeling by Lane’s side in record time while Belle’s cry echoed across the open field, all of the dwarves turning to see what the fuss was about. “What hurts lassie,” Oin asked, gently placing his palm on her forehead. “N-no… I’m fine. I just slipped is all,” Lane groaned, clenching her eyes shut in a vain attempt to will the pain in her skull away. Inwardly growling at herself, she pushed herself off of the ground and stood straight, only for the pain to hit her again like a freight train, causing her eyes to cross before falling to her knees again. “Lane stop, you’ll only hurt yourself!” Bilbo pleaded, his hand grasping his friend’s shoulder. “He’s right lassie, you need to stop and rest,” Oin agreed with a nod. “What’s going on, we need to keep moving,” Thorin’s voice growled as he stomped over to them. “Thorin-” “She needs to rest laddie, or we’ll be carrying a corpse to Erebor,” Oin scolded, looking up at their leader. “We don’t have time to rest, Durin’s day is nearly upon us!” Thorin growled. “I can carry her...” Kíli offered as he and the others walked over. “No, if we are attacked we may need every able bodied warrior to fight, having her on your back will leave me with one less fighter,” Thorin claimed. “Thorin-” Balin began, but was interrupted by the leader. “You either stand and walk on your own two feet or we leave you here!” Thorin barked, glaring down at Lane, the woman hanging her head as she willed herself not to cry from pain. “Uncle, enough!” Fíli demanded, stepping in between the two. “We’ve been walking for hours, a little rest could do all of us some good.” Thorin was about to retort when Lane stood and put a shaking hand on Fíli’s shoulder. Pushing him slightly out of the way, Lane raised her head and glared at Thorin. “I thought you were in a rush, Lord Dwarf… what are you doing here standing around?” she growled. Thorin simply spun around on his heels and began walking away, barking at the others to continue as well. “Lane stop, you can’t keep forcing yourself like this!” Belle pleaded, standing up and holding Lane still. “I’m not going to be a liability Izz!” Lane barked, turning to glare at her friend. “I am not weak! I am not frail! And I will not be subject to the scorn of someone with a jagged key and map shoved up his fucking ass, all because I was clocked on the head by an orc!!” Belle stood motionless, her eyes wide and fear filled as Lane turned away from her, taking quick but staggering steps to follow the others. “La-” “Don’t touch me!” Lane barked, harshly brushing off Fíli’s outstretched hand as she passed him. Fíli exchanged a worried look with his brother, their gazes shifting between a clearly enraged Lane and a now forlorn looking Belle as Bilbo rested a hand on her elbow. -=- After a few more hours of traveling, the company finally took a rest near a small grove of trees, almost every one of them releasing a round of groans when they were finally able to rest their weary and aching feet.Lane and Belle sat somewhat away from each other, Lane refusing to meet anyone’s eyes as she kept her back turned to them while Belle let out a small sigh. “Is she still avoiding everyone?” Bilbo asked, walking over to the smaller woman and sitting beside her, his eyes not leaving Lane’s back. Belle nodded and pouted. “I can understand why she’d be peeved, but that doesn’t mean she should just shut us out,” she huffed. “I’d go over there and smack some sense into her but I’m afraid she’d smack me back, and Lane hits hard…” Bilbo hummed and nodded, turning his eyes back to Lane’s form before giving a determined huff and standing. Belle’s hand shot up and grasped his wrist, causing him to stop and look down at her. “Wait, are you seriously going to go and talk to her? She’ll eat you alive; Lane’s almost as bad as Thorin!” Belle hissed, trying to keep her voice down as the sun got lower and lower in the sky. “Lady Isabella, I know that you and Lane have been friends for a very long time, but I believe that there is one thing that even you don’t quite understand about her,” Bilbo hummed with a small smile. Belle’s grip on his wrist slackened as Bilbo took this chance to walk over to the taller of the two, Lane having shifted so that she could lean her right shoulder against a nearby tree along with the uninjured side of her head. “Lane?” Bilbo called quietly, not wanting to disturb her if she was sleeping. “What?” Bilbo jumped slightly at the irritated tone in her voice but didn’t allow himself to turn around, instead taking a few more steps forward so that he was standing by her left shoulder and sat beside her. The hobbit leaned forward slightly to get a better look at his friend’s face and gave a small whine when he realized just how exhausted the taller woman looked. “Are you just going to stare at me?” her voice croaked, eyes not opening. “Lane, you must know that after all this time we’ve spent traveling together, that none of us view you as a burden nor a liability,” he began, keeping his voice level and supportive. “You are probably the strongest and most brave-hearted woman I’ve met, and that’s saying a lot if you recall me having Mirabella as an Aunt.” Lane couldn’t help the small breath of laughter that escaped her lips, her face relaxing at the mention of the hobbit woman. Bilbo gained a smile of his own on his face and he reached out to place a comforting hand on the woman’s knee. “Lane, I cannot speak for every member of this company, but I can easily name a handful that value your presence on this quest. I myself am quite happy that you as well as Lady Isabella decided to come along, and I’m certain she feels the same.” “That’s not a handful Bilbo,” Lane chuckled, her eyes finally opening to look at him out of the corner of her eye. “Well Fíli and Kíli both seem to have gotten attached to you as well as Oin and Bofur. Gloin I’ve noticed isn’t as grumpy around you anymore and I’ve seen the friendship that is growing between yourself and Bifur as well. Dwalin also seems to enjoy your company seeing as he still calls you Champion. Basically everyone who does call you that I believe you can view as a comrade and friend in this venture,” Bilbo claimed, shifting slightly so that Lane could see past him and look at each dwarf as he mentioned them. “I’m sorry that Thorin has been so hard on you since the warg pack, but just because he’s having behavioural issues doesn’t mean everyone shares his view, especially when it comes to you.” Lane lowered her eyes in shame and wrung her hands together before giving a sigh. “I’m a shitty friend… aren’t I?” Lane sighed. “I’m sorry Bilbo.” “Apology accepted, though I don’t believe I’m the one you should be apologizing to,” the hobbit hummed, nodding behind them with a knowing look. Lane sighed through her nose before nodding and moving to stand. Bilbo shot to his feet and offered the woman his hand, Lane pausing for a moment before accepting his aid. Once she was on her feet, Lane managed to walk over to where Belle sat, the smaller woman not raising her head to look up at her. “You still suck, but I’m willing to forgive your flaws and call a truce,” Lane hummed. Belle’s eyes widened and spun around to look up at her friend and give her a baffled look, only to catch sight of the shit eating grin stretched across the taller’s lips. “My flaws? You’re no saint yourself, you know!” Belle laughed, understanding the meaning behind her friend’s words. “You’re right, I’m no saint; I’m closer to being a Bishop, or a Cardinal,” Lane hummed, placing a hand on her chest while pushing her shoulders back with mock dignity. Belle’s mouth opened and closed a few times in befuddlement before she let out a round of laughter, having to cover her mouth with her hands so it wasn’t too loud. “You are beyond hopeless,” the smaller laughed, having to wipe away a few tears in her eyes. “Damn straight, makes life more fun,” Lane scoffed, finally sitting down beside her friend. “I am sorry for yelling at you though, you didn’t deserve to get the brunt of it.” Belle hummed and gave her friend a smile and a pat on the knee, silently telling her that all was forgiven. Bilbo soon came over to join the women and the trio sat and talked for a little while longer until Thorin told everyone to get some rest. -=- The next day continued on in this general pattern. The company traveled almost non-stop from sunup to dusk, found a place to camp for the night before planning on repeating the process again. Lane was still miffed at Thorin, Belle sharing her friend’s feeling while Thorin never spared them a glance, his eyes always set on the Misty Mountains in the east. Bilbo had remained with the women and would help Belle to silently support Lane whenever the taller woman would trip or get a head rush and have to pause to clear her vision.The morning after Lane had apologized to Belle, she had done the same to Fíli for her harshness towards him only wanting to help. If the blond prince felt any ill will or discontent towards her for her actions, he never stated so and accepted her apology with a smile and a pat on the shoulder. “Nothing to worry about, Champion,” he had said. “I understand all too well that Thorin can be a bit hard headed and overly driven.” When the sun began to set that evening, the company once again found a place to camp for the night, Lane, Belle and Bilbo taking out their bedrolls and lining them up beside each other not too far away from the dwarves. While doing so, it found the trio trading stories and experiences from their short time in Rivendell. “He just walked in!?” Bilbo gasped, looking like he had been personally put through the ordeal. “I cannot believe Kíli would do such a thing…” “I don’t think dwarves know how to knock,” Lane snickered, patting her friend on the shoulder as Belle hung her head. “Fíli did the same thing to me when Gilraen took me to the baths.” “WHAT!?” the two squawked, gaping at the tallest. “And you didn't tell me?” Belle accused. “What would you have done, defended my honour? Too late, honour gone.” Lane hummed. “Though I don't think Fíli minded~” Bilbo sputtered at the implication she was making while Belle smacked her friend on the arm. “I'm joking I'm JOKING!” Lane laughed, shifting slightly so she was further from her friend’s reach. “My Lady…” The three turned to see Kíli was standing by Belle’s side with a smile stretched across his lips and bow in hand. “I'm not interrupting anything am I? There are some trees not too far off that may serve as good target practise, especially since I understand you now have a bow of your own,” the brunet prince claimed, nodding at said weapon resting not to far away with her others things. Belle’s eyes widened slightly in excitement before she remembered her friend, turning to look at Lane only for the taller to roll her eyes. “Don’t worry about me, I have my secondary mother hen to cluck over me while you’re abusing the trees,” Lane chuckled, thumbing over at Bilbo as the hobbit gave her a pout. “Who are you calling a mother hen?” Bilbo huffed. “Would you rather me call you a quack?” “That is no better!” Belle giggled and stood up after picking up her bow and quiver, allowing Kíli to lead the way over to their makeshift target range.“I know I said that it’s alright, but that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to pout,” Lane huffed, doing just that. Bilbo chuckled and patted the woman on the back as they watched the dwarven archer help Belle with her standing and drawing postures. “You know Bilbo, you could probably do with a few lessons on how to stab people,” Lane snickered, looking at the hobbit out of the corner of her eye. “Make use of that dagger you’ve got hanging at your hip.” “Balin called it a letter opener,” Bilbo scoffed, drawing the sword and running his finger along the flat of the blade. “Just because it’s small in size doesn’t make it useless.” “No, I agree. Back home our people have a saying; Great things come in small packages,” Lane hummed, resting her jaw in her palm as she smiled at him. “I’m sure that if you keep it by you Bilbo, that it’ll see its fair share of battles.” The hobbit seemed approving of her words as Lane stopped herself from grinning too much, knowing full well that this ‘letter opener’ would serve a greater purpose than any other sword among them at this moment in the future, both near and far.“I’m not interrupting an important pep talk am I?” Lane and Bilbo turned to see that Fíli had walked over to the two, no doubt in search of his brother. “Not at all,” Bilbo hummed, motioning for him to join them. Fíli did just that, sitting on Lane’s other side and allowing his eyes to drift over to the two archers not far away. “Has Thorin managed to glare a hole in the back of Izz’s head yet? She’s stealing the attention of one of his fighters,” Lane huffed, giving Fíli a sidelong glance. “Not yet; Balin and Dwalin keep trying to talk some sense into him about the treatment that he’s giving you two. He naturally won’t hear any of it right now, but I think he’s still a little jaded about the fact that we’re now on a time limit,” Fíli hummed, leaning back to rest on his hands. Lane rolled her eyes but didn’t have the energy to vent, not only that but just because Fíli understood that Thorin was being a dick didn’t mean he was automatically the best person to talk to about said dwarf lord.“You know that he’ll come around eventually right? Not just for you and Lady Isabella, but with you as well Bilbo,” Fíli claimed, looking around Lane to give the hobbit a slightly apologetic look. “I figured as much, from what I understand, you folk are very tight knit with your own kin and kind, I wasn’t really expecting to be welcomed with open arms in the first place,” Bilbo said with a small laugh. Fíli nodded and turned his attention back to the woman beside him, catching sight of Lane’s pout causing him to chuckle. He reached over and patted her on the shoulder causing her to shift slightly to look back at him. “Patience is a virtue Champion,” he laughed. “Patience is in low supply when you have a stubborn iron rod as a troupe leader,” Lane scoffed. “...but I’ll try…” Fíli’s grin grew and he nodded, turning back to the duo by the trees as Belle fired an arrow from her bow and hit a nearby tree with a hard ‘thunk’.

[6gpymfzi-blog]

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[pitz182]

Is AA Too Religious for Generation Z?

Are today’s mutual-aid recovery groups ready to satisfy Generation-next?“More than any other generation before them, Gen Z does not assert a religious identity. They might be drawn to things spiritual, but with a vastly different starting point from previous generations, many of whom received a basic education on the Bible and Christianity. And it shows: The percentage of Gen Z that identifies as atheist is double that of the U.S. adult population.”Released early this year, Barna Group’s Generation-Z Report (Americans born between 1999 and 2015) surveyed over 2,000 13 to 18-year-olds. The oldest of this generation turn 20 in 2019.According to AA’s most recent triennial membership survey, 1% of AA is under 21—that’s about 20,000 sober teenagers in AA rooms right now. What’s my personal affinity with this demographic? It’s two-fold: I have two millennial children and one 18-year-old stepson; secondly, while I am a grey-haired Baby Boomer, I was a teen at my first 12-step meeting. My 20th birthday was 1980, three months shy of my fourth anniversary clean and sober.I was a second-generation AA member and—like Barna’s youth focus group—my worldview seemed incompatible with the old fogies of 12-step rooms. My mother mused about finding god’s will for her from meditation or her daily horoscope. She was such a Virgo, you know. Horoscopes, higher powers, legends of Sasquatch, these were all fictional symbols as far as I was concerned. Reasonable people didn’t take such constructs literally, did they?Bob K, like me, is a second-generation AA. He’s currently between historical book projects; Key Players in AA History will soon have a prequel. Bob’s follow-up research will produce a book about pre-AA addiction and treatment. At age 40, Bob made it into AA as a result of his dad 12-stepping him. He also was uncomfortable with the emphasis on "God." “When I was a month sober, it was ‘God-this, God saved me’ and I was going to put my resignation in. I didn’t think I could stand it in AA any longer. I went to the internet of the day—which back then was the library—and I looked for non-religious alternatives to AA. They had them in California but nothing in Ontario Canada. So it was AA or nothing. If I tried to brave it alone, I’d be drunk; I knew it.”Today, Bob enjoys the likeminded company at his Secular AA home group, Whitby Freethinkers, which meets in the local suburban library just East of Toronto. If I were confronting addiction/recovery as a teen today, I wonder if I would go to AA or NA? If AA was once “the last house on the block,” today it’s one house in a subdivision of mutual-aid choices. Today, newcomers have access to Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS), or Medically Assisted Treatment, none of which existed in the 1970s.On Practically Sane, therapist Jeffrey Munn states: “I like to take a practical approach … I’m not a fan of the ‘fluff’ and flowery language that is often associated with the world of psychology and self-help.” Jeffrey came into the rooms at 20, stayed sober for 2 ½ years, relapsed, came back and is now 13 years clean and sober.“I was mandated to three 12-step meetings per week to stay in the program I was in. Since I was young I have been agnostic. I wanted to find a higher power that was common sense-based, but in the rooms I felt pulled towards a more dogmatic spiritual idea of higher power. Back then, I needed to come up with my own conception of what was happening on a psychological level." Recently, Jeffrey wrote and published Staying Sober Without God: the Practical 12 Steps to Long Term Recovery from Alcoholism and Addiction.“I looked at SMART Recovery,” Jeffrey tells The Fix. “I looked at Moderation Management, too—that one struck me as being an organized resentment against AA—I wasn’t feeling it. When it comes down to social support and a practical plan of action, it’s hard to beat 12-step programs. What I try to teach is: if you don’t buy into any kind of a supernatural higher power, navigate the 12-step world, filtering the god-stuff out, working the program in your own way; there is lots that really works.”Barna reports, “Nearly half of teens, on par with Millennials, say, ‘I need factual evidence to support my beliefs.’” Jeffrey hopes Staying Sober Without God—which joins a growing secular 12-step recovery offering—offers the rational narrative today’s youth crave. Barna calls today’s youth “the first truly post-Christian generation [in America].”Certified Master Addiction Counselor David B. Bohl of Milwaukee understands the value of other-oriented care. David tells The Fix: “As head of a 20-bed coed dual-diagnosis treatment center, emerging adults, 18 to 25 years old, came into our care. I wouldn’t say that they universally shrugged off the 12-step approach but almost universally, in reaction to our volunteers, alumni, and traditional AA community, younger clients didn’t want what the volunteers and alumni had. And I wouldn’t say it was the religiosity always. Sometimes it was an age-thing or life approach. So, our recovery management function became that much more important in terms of building individualized treatment that suits everyone.“In the USA, 75% of all residential treatment centers identify as 12-step facilitators,” David tells us. “In the simplest form, our job is to introduce people to the language and the concept of the 12 steps and then to introduce the clients to support groups or people in support groups when they are discharged from acute care.Where trauma is involved—religious trauma in particular—traditional AA language and rituals trigger that shame they feel from negative formal religion experiences.”Let’s put this overbearing religion caution to a real-life test: Suwaida F was the second oldest of 11 children to Somalian refugee parents who fled to Canada in the 1980s.“In Kindergarten I didn’t have to wear a hijab; my parents weren’t super religious. I went to an Islamic school in grade one. It was normal for teachers to have belts with them, they would hit you; child abuse was normalized. They didn’t really teach us that much math, science, history. The Islamic teachers weren’t that educated. My parents took me out and put me in public school. Then, some of my mom’s Somalian-Canadian friends started moving their kids to Egypt. My friends would stay in Egypt two years, finish the Qur’an and the girls came back wearing burqas and head-scarves. Some Muslim friends would come to school in their hijab, take them off and put them back on when they went home. We called them The Transformers.My parents really wanted us to learn the Qur’an; I don’t speak Arabic, so it was difficult. And I never believed it. I asked my mom and dad, ‘How do you know that this stuff is real?’ They got frustrated and mad and said, ‘Don’t ever ask that question again.’ I knew it wasn’t real. Mom got more and more religious. Pictures of her at age 19 -- she wore no head-scarf when she was my age. My mom expected me to be religious and I rebelled. I had to leave home.”Suwaida misses her sisters. She feels unwelcome in the family home unless she is dressed in the Islamic custom and that wouldn’t be true to herself. Away from home, Suwaida found the welcoming community she craved in the booze and cocaine culture.“It wasn’t a matter of having no money; I had no sense of hope. People at work didn’t know I was hopped from shelter to shelter at night. One winter I was told, ‘Suwaida, you’ve been restricted from every youth shelter in the city of Toronto.’” As addiction progressed, Suwaida recalls an ever-descending patterns of compromises, bad relationships and regrets.“Today, it’s like I still never unpack my suitcase; I’m always ready to go.” During a stay at St. Joe’s detox, Suwaida went to her first NA meeting.“At 7 PM, a woman spoke. I made it clear that I thought it was stupid; I wouldn’t share. At the end, everyone was holding hands to pray and I said, ‘I’m not holding any of your hands.’ I didn’t go back. When I was discharged, I went drinking at the bar with my suitcase, not knowing where I was going to stay that night.My second meeting I consider my first, because I chose it. I thought I should go to AA. I googled atheist or freethinker AA to avoid a repeat of my NA experience. I found Beyond Belief Agnostics and Freethinkers Group on the University of Toronto campus. I went there last February. For a while, I had wine in my travel-mug, and I didn’t say anything. In August I felt like the woman beside me knew I was drinking, and I ask myself, ‘What am I doing?’ So, my next meeting, I went sober. I’ve been clean and sober ever since.”Despite the child-violence of Islamic school and rejection from her family, Suwaida isn’t anti-theist. “I do believe in God or in something. I feel like I’m always looking for signs. I don’t believe in a god in the sky but to say there’s nothing beyond all this doesn’t make any sense to me. Sometimes the freakiest things happen. Maybe it’s because I’m a storyteller, I try to make a story out of everything; you think of someone, then they phone you, is that random?I feel a part-of in secular or mainstream AA meetings. My self-talk still sounds like, ‘Don’t share Suwaida, you have nothing to add.’ Maybe it comes from not being able to express myself when I was growing up. I have no sense of self. I guess I have something special to offer but I don’t know how to articulate it. It’s hard; I have limited self-confidence.”“Give them their voice; listen to them,” is Kevin Schaefer’s approach. He co-hosts the podcast Don’t Die Wisconsin. He’s also a recovery coach.“I’ve been in Recovery 29+ years. I’m a substance abuse counselor and I got into addiction treatment through sober living. When I started working in a Suboxone clinic, I came to realize that AA can’t solve everything. I always come from a harm reduction standpoint: meth, cocaine, benzos; I ask, ‘Can you just smoke pot?’ and we start building the trust there.Medically Assisted Treatment (MAT) is geared towards this generation. Most kids coming through my door know a lot about MAT, more so than people in AA with the biases and stigma that they bring. Kids sometimes know more than the front-line social workers. Their friends are on MAT, that’s how they gather their information (not to say their information is all correct). But a lot of therapists don’t understand medication. Medication can be a ticket to survival out on the streets.”The Fix asked Kevin his opinion on the best suited mutual-aid group for this generation.“Most of the generation you’re talking about walks in with anxiety and defiantly won’t do groups.” We talked about the role of online video/voice or text meetings for a tech-native generation. “Yes—where appropriate. Women especially, because from what I’ve seen, most females have suffered from trauma. I have heard women who prefer online recovery; that make sense to me. I’ve been to InTheRooms.com; as professionals we have a duty to know what’s out there. And there are some crazies online.If someone has an Eastern philosophy bent, I’ll send them to Refuge Recovery; I’ve been there. If I can, I’ll set them up with somebody that I know can help them. And let’s not forget that some youth, if Christianity is your thing, Celebrate Recovery is amazing — talk about a community that wraps themselves around the substance user. There are movie nights, food, all kinds of extracurricular activities. The SMART Recovery Movement? Excellent. SMART momentum is building in Milwaukee. They are goal-oriented and the person gets supported whether they’re on Suboxone or, in one case I know, micro-dosing with LSD for depression; they’ll be supported either way. My goal with youth is: ‘Try to get to one meeting this month; start slow.’ Don’t set the bar too high and if they enjoy it, then great.The 12-step meeting I go to, it’s a men’s meeting. There are people there on medication and they don’t get blow-back. I wish more of AA was like this. When I came in, almost 30 years ago now, I saw all the God-stuff on the walls and I thought, ‘Nah, this isn’t going to work’ but thank G… (laughs), thank the Group of Drunks who said, ‘You don’t have to believe in that.’ The range in my meeting is broad—Eastern philosophy, Native American practices, Yoga, I was invited to Transcendental Meditation meetings at members’ houses. I was fortunate to fall into this group. You know, the first book my sponsor gave me was The Tao of Physics—not The Big Book—it was this 70’s book with Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, correlated to physics and contemporary science.”So, as to the question that kicked this off, some mutual aid meetings are ready to meet the taste of a new generation; results may vary. Who’s heard: “If you haven’t met anyone you don’t like in AA, you haven’t gone to enough meetings”?The reverse is true, also. If the peer-to-peer meetings I’ve sampled seem too narrow or dogmatic, maybe my search for just the right fit isn’t over. And if I don’t want a face-to-face meeting, there’s always Kevin’s podcast, virtual communities like The Fix, or I can order one of Bob or David or Jeffrey’s books if that’s more to my taste.

[alexdmorgan30]

Is AA Too Religious for Generation Z?

Are today’s mutual-aid recovery groups ready to satisfy Generation-next?“More than any other generation before them, Gen Z does not assert a religious identity. They might be drawn to things spiritual, but with a vastly different starting point from previous generations, many of whom received a basic education on the Bible and Christianity. And it shows: The percentage of Gen Z that identifies as atheist is double that of the U.S. adult population.”Released early this year, Barna Group’s Generation-Z Report (Americans born between 1999 and 2015) surveyed over 2,000 13 to 18-year-olds. The oldest of this generation turn 20 in 2019.According to AA’s most recent triennial membership survey, 1% of AA is under 21—that’s about 20,000 sober teenagers in AA rooms right now. What’s my personal affinity with this demographic? It’s two-fold: I have two millennial children and one 18-year-old stepson; secondly, while I am a grey-haired Baby Boomer, I was a teen at my first 12-step meeting. My 20th birthday was 1980, three months shy of my fourth anniversary clean and sober.I was a second-generation AA member and—like Barna’s youth focus group—my worldview seemed incompatible with the old fogies of 12-step rooms. My mother mused about finding god’s will for her from meditation or her daily horoscope. She was such a Virgo, you know. Horoscopes, higher powers, legends of Sasquatch, these were all fictional symbols as far as I was concerned. Reasonable people didn’t take such constructs literally, did they?Bob K, like me, is a second-generation AA. He’s currently between historical book projects; Key Players in AA History will soon have a prequel. Bob’s follow-up research will produce a book about pre-AA addiction and treatment. At age 40, Bob made it into AA as a result of his dad 12-stepping him. He also was uncomfortable with the emphasis on "God." “When I was a month sober, it was ‘God-this, God saved me’ and I was going to put my resignation in. I didn’t think I could stand it in AA any longer. I went to the internet of the day—which back then was the library—and I looked for non-religious alternatives to AA. They had them in California but nothing in Ontario Canada. So it was AA or nothing. If I tried to brave it alone, I’d be drunk; I knew it.”Today, Bob enjoys the likeminded company at his Secular AA home group, Whitby Freethinkers, which meets in the local suburban library just East of Toronto. If I were confronting addiction/recovery as a teen today, I wonder if I would go to AA or NA? If AA was once “the last house on the block,” today it’s one house in a subdivision of mutual-aid choices. Today, newcomers have access to Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS), or Medically Assisted Treatment, none of which existed in the 1970s.On Practically Sane, therapist Jeffrey Munn states: “I like to take a practical approach … I’m not a fan of the ‘fluff’ and flowery language that is often associated with the world of psychology and self-help.” Jeffrey came into the rooms at 20, stayed sober for 2 ½ years, relapsed, came back and is now 13 years clean and sober.“I was mandated to three 12-step meetings per week to stay in the program I was in. Since I was young I have been agnostic. I wanted to find a higher power that was common sense-based, but in the rooms I felt pulled towards a more dogmatic spiritual idea of higher power. Back then, I needed to come up with my own conception of what was happening on a psychological level." Recently, Jeffrey wrote and published Staying Sober Without God: the Practical 12 Steps to Long Term Recovery from Alcoholism and Addiction.“I looked at SMART Recovery,” Jeffrey tells The Fix. “I looked at Moderation Management, too—that one struck me as being an organized resentment against AA—I wasn’t feeling it. When it comes down to social support and a practical plan of action, it’s hard to beat 12-step programs. What I try to teach is: if you don’t buy into any kind of a supernatural higher power, navigate the 12-step world, filtering the god-stuff out, working the program in your own way; there is lots that really works.”Barna reports, “Nearly half of teens, on par with Millennials, say, ‘I need factual evidence to support my beliefs.’” Jeffrey hopes Staying Sober Without God—which joins a growing secular 12-step recovery offering—offers the rational narrative today’s youth crave. Barna calls today’s youth “the first truly post-Christian generation [in America].”Certified Master Addiction Counselor David B. Bohl of Milwaukee understands the value of other-oriented care. David tells The Fix: “As head of a 20-bed coed dual-diagnosis treatment center, emerging adults, 18 to 25 years old, came into our care. I wouldn’t say that they universally shrugged off the 12-step approach but almost universally, in reaction to our volunteers, alumni, and traditional AA community, younger clients didn’t want what the volunteers and alumni had. And I wouldn’t say it was the religiosity always. Sometimes it was an age-thing or life approach. So, our recovery management function became that much more important in terms of building individualized treatment that suits everyone.“In the USA, 75% of all residential treatment centers identify as 12-step facilitators,” David tells us. “In the simplest form, our job is to introduce people to the language and the concept of the 12 steps and then to introduce the clients to support groups or people in support groups when they are discharged from acute care.Where trauma is involved—religious trauma in particular—traditional AA language and rituals trigger that shame they feel from negative formal religion experiences.”Let’s put this overbearing religion caution to a real-life test: Suwaida F was the second oldest of 11 children to Somalian refugee parents who fled to Canada in the 1980s.“In Kindergarten I didn’t have to wear a hijab; my parents weren’t super religious. I went to an Islamic school in grade one. It was normal for teachers to have belts with them, they would hit you; child abuse was normalized. They didn’t really teach us that much math, science, history. The Islamic teachers weren’t that educated. My parents took me out and put me in public school. Then, some of my mom’s Somalian-Canadian friends started moving their kids to Egypt. My friends would stay in Egypt two years, finish the Qur’an and the girls came back wearing burqas and head-scarves. Some Muslim friends would come to school in their hijab, take them off and put them back on when they went home. We called them The Transformers.My parents really wanted us to learn the Qur’an; I don’t speak Arabic, so it was difficult. And I never believed it. I asked my mom and dad, ‘How do you know that this stuff is real?’ They got frustrated and mad and said, ‘Don’t ever ask that question again.’ I knew it wasn’t real. Mom got more and more religious. Pictures of her at age 19 -- she wore no head-scarf when she was my age. My mom expected me to be religious and I rebelled. I had to leave home.”Suwaida misses her sisters. She feels unwelcome in the family home unless she is dressed in the Islamic custom and that wouldn’t be true to herself. Away from home, Suwaida found the welcoming community she craved in the booze and cocaine culture.“It wasn’t a matter of having no money; I had no sense of hope. People at work didn’t know I was hopped from shelter to shelter at night. One winter I was told, ‘Suwaida, you’ve been restricted from every youth shelter in the city of Toronto.’” As addiction progressed, Suwaida recalls an ever-descending patterns of compromises, bad relationships and regrets.“Today, it’s like I still never unpack my suitcase; I’m always ready to go.” During a stay at St. Joe’s detox, Suwaida went to her first NA meeting.“At 7 PM, a woman spoke. I made it clear that I thought it was stupid; I wouldn’t share. At the end, everyone was holding hands to pray and I said, ‘I’m not holding any of your hands.’ I didn’t go back. When I was discharged, I went drinking at the bar with my suitcase, not knowing where I was going to stay that night.My second meeting I consider my first, because I chose it. I thought I should go to AA. I googled atheist or freethinker AA to avoid a repeat of my NA experience. I found Beyond Belief Agnostics and Freethinkers Group on the University of Toronto campus. I went there last February. For a while, I had wine in my travel-mug, and I didn’t say anything. In August I felt like the woman beside me knew I was drinking, and I ask myself, ‘What am I doing?’ So, my next meeting, I went sober. I’ve been clean and sober ever since.”Despite the child-violence of Islamic school and rejection from her family, Suwaida isn’t anti-theist. “I do believe in God or in something. I feel like I’m always looking for signs. I don’t believe in a god in the sky but to say there’s nothing beyond all this doesn’t make any sense to me. Sometimes the freakiest things happen. Maybe it’s because I’m a storyteller, I try to make a story out of everything; you think of someone, then they phone you, is that random?I feel a part-of in secular or mainstream AA meetings. My self-talk still sounds like, ‘Don’t share Suwaida, you have nothing to add.’ Maybe it comes from not being able to express myself when I was growing up. I have no sense of self. I guess I have something special to offer but I don’t know how to articulate it. It’s hard; I have limited self-confidence.”“Give them their voice; listen to them,” is Kevin Schaefer’s approach. He co-hosts the podcast Don’t Die Wisconsin. He’s also a recovery coach.“I’ve been in Recovery 29+ years. I’m a substance abuse counselor and I got into addiction treatment through sober living. When I started working in a Suboxone clinic, I came to realize that AA can’t solve everything. I always come from a harm reduction standpoint: meth, cocaine, benzos; I ask, ‘Can you just smoke pot?’ and we start building the trust there.Medically Assisted Treatment (MAT) is geared towards this generation. Most kids coming through my door know a lot about MAT, more so than people in AA with the biases and stigma that they bring. Kids sometimes know more than the front-line social workers. Their friends are on MAT, that’s how they gather their information (not to say their information is all correct). But a lot of therapists don’t understand medication. Medication can be a ticket to survival out on the streets.”The Fix asked Kevin his opinion on the best suited mutual-aid group for this generation.“Most of the generation you’re talking about walks in with anxiety and defiantly won’t do groups.” We talked about the role of online video/voice or text meetings for a tech-native generation. “Yes—where appropriate. Women especially, because from what I’ve seen, most females have suffered from trauma. I have heard women who prefer online recovery; that make sense to me. I’ve been to InTheRooms.com; as professionals we have a duty to know what’s out there. And there are some crazies online.If someone has an Eastern philosophy bent, I’ll send them to Refuge Recovery; I’ve been there. If I can, I’ll set them up with somebody that I know can help them. And let’s not forget that some youth, if Christianity is your thing, Celebrate Recovery is amazing — talk about a community that wraps themselves around the substance user. There are movie nights, food, all kinds of extracurricular activities. The SMART Recovery Movement? Excellent. SMART momentum is building in Milwaukee. They are goal-oriented and the person gets supported whether they’re on Suboxone or, in one case I know, micro-dosing with LSD for depression; they’ll be supported either way. My goal with youth is: ‘Try to get to one meeting this month; start slow.’ Don’t set the bar too high and if they enjoy it, then great.The 12-step meeting I go to, it’s a men’s meeting. There are people there on medication and they don’t get blow-back. I wish more of AA was like this. When I came in, almost 30 years ago now, I saw all the God-stuff on the walls and I thought, ‘Nah, this isn’t going to work’ but thank G… (laughs), thank the Group of Drunks who said, ‘You don’t have to believe in that.’ The range in my meeting is broad—Eastern philosophy, Native American practices, Yoga, I was invited to Transcendental Meditation meetings at members’ houses. I was fortunate to fall into this group. You know, the first book my sponsor gave me was The Tao of Physics—not The Big Book—it was this 70’s book with Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, correlated to physics and contemporary science.”So, as to the question that kicked this off, some mutual aid meetings are ready to meet the taste of a new generation; results may vary. Who’s heard: “If you haven’t met anyone you don’t like in AA, you haven’t gone to enough meetings”?The reverse is true, also. If the peer-to-peer meetings I’ve sampled seem too narrow or dogmatic, maybe my search for just the right fit isn’t over. And if I don’t want a face-to-face meeting, there’s always Kevin’s podcast, virtual communities like The Fix, or I can order one of Bob or David or Jeffrey’s books if that’s more to my taste.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 http://bit.ly/2B5JhVm

[emlydunstan]

Is AA Too Religious for Generation Z?

Are today’s mutual-aid recovery groups ready to satisfy Generation-next?“More than any other generation before them, Gen Z does not assert a religious identity. They might be drawn to things spiritual, but with a vastly different starting point from previous generations, many of whom received a basic education on the Bible and Christianity. And it shows: The percentage of Gen Z that identifies as atheist is double that of the U.S. adult population.”Released early this year, Barna Group’s Generation-Z Report (Americans born between 1999 and 2015) surveyed over 2,000 13 to 18-year-olds. The oldest of this generation turn 20 in 2019.According to AA’s most recent triennial membership survey, 1% of AA is under 21—that’s about 20,000 sober teenagers in AA rooms right now. What’s my personal affinity with this demographic? It’s two-fold: I have two millennial children and one 18-year-old stepson; secondly, while I am a grey-haired Baby Boomer, I was a teen at my first 12-step meeting. My 20th birthday was 1980, three months shy of my fourth anniversary clean and sober.I was a second-generation AA member and—like Barna’s youth focus group—my worldview seemed incompatible with the old fogies of 12-step rooms. My mother mused about finding god’s will for her from meditation or her daily horoscope. She was such a Virgo, you know. Horoscopes, higher powers, legends of Sasquatch, these were all fictional symbols as far as I was concerned. Reasonable people didn’t take such constructs literally, did they?Bob K, like me, is a second-generation AA. He’s currently between historical book projects; Key Players in AA History will soon have a prequel. Bob’s follow-up research will produce a book about pre-AA addiction and treatment. At age 40, Bob made it into AA as a result of his dad 12-stepping him. He also was uncomfortable with the emphasis on "God." “When I was a month sober, it was ‘God-this, God saved me’ and I was going to put my resignation in. I didn’t think I could stand it in AA any longer. I went to the internet of the day—which back then was the library—and I looked for non-religious alternatives to AA. They had them in California but nothing in Ontario Canada. So it was AA or nothing. If I tried to brave it alone, I’d be drunk; I knew it.”Today, Bob enjoys the likeminded company at his Secular AA home group, Whitby Freethinkers, which meets in the local suburban library just East of Toronto. If I were confronting addiction/recovery as a teen today, I wonder if I would go to AA or NA? If AA was once “the last house on the block,” today it’s one house in a subdivision of mutual-aid choices. Today, newcomers have access to Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS), or Medically Assisted Treatment, none of which existed in the 1970s.On Practically Sane, therapist Jeffrey Munn states: “I like to take a practical approach … I’m not a fan of the ‘fluff’ and flowery language that is often associated with the world of psychology and self-help.” Jeffrey came into the rooms at 20, stayed sober for 2 ½ years, relapsed, came back and is now 13 years clean and sober.“I was mandated to three 12-step meetings per week to stay in the program I was in. Since I was young I have been agnostic. I wanted to find a higher power that was common sense-based, but in the rooms I felt pulled towards a more dogmatic spiritual idea of higher power. Back then, I needed to come up with my own conception of what was happening on a psychological level." Recently, Jeffrey wrote and published Staying Sober Without God: the Practical 12 Steps to Long Term Recovery from Alcoholism and Addiction.“I looked at SMART Recovery,” Jeffrey tells The Fix. “I looked at Moderation Management, too—that one struck me as being an organized resentment against AA—I wasn’t feeling it. When it comes down to social support and a practical plan of action, it’s hard to beat 12-step programs. What I try to teach is: if you don’t buy into any kind of a supernatural higher power, navigate the 12-step world, filtering the god-stuff out, working the program in your own way; there is lots that really works.”Barna reports, “Nearly half of teens, on par with Millennials, say, ‘I need factual evidence to support my beliefs.’” Jeffrey hopes Staying Sober Without God—which joins a growing secular 12-step recovery offering—offers the rational narrative today’s youth crave. Barna calls today’s youth “the first truly post-Christian generation [in America].”Certified Master Addiction Counselor David B. Bohl of Milwaukee understands the value of other-oriented care. David tells The Fix: “As head of a 20-bed coed dual-diagnosis treatment center, emerging adults, 18 to 25 years old, came into our care. I wouldn’t say that they universally shrugged off the 12-step approach but almost universally, in reaction to our volunteers, alumni, and traditional AA community, younger clients didn’t want what the volunteers and alumni had. And I wouldn’t say it was the religiosity always. Sometimes it was an age-thing or life approach. So, our recovery management function became that much more important in terms of building individualized treatment that suits everyone.“In the USA, 75% of all residential treatment centers identify as 12-step facilitators,” David tells us. “In the simplest form, our job is to introduce people to the language and the concept of the 12 steps and then to introduce the clients to support groups or people in support groups when they are discharged from acute care.Where trauma is involved—religious trauma in particular—traditional AA language and rituals trigger that shame they feel from negative formal religion experiences.”Let’s put this overbearing religion caution to a real-life test: Suwaida F was the second oldest of 11 children to Somalian refugee parents who fled to Canada in the 1980s.“In Kindergarten I didn’t have to wear a hijab; my parents weren’t super religious. I went to an Islamic school in grade one. It was normal for teachers to have belts with them, they would hit you; child abuse was normalized. They didn’t really teach us that much math, science, history. The Islamic teachers weren’t that educated. My parents took me out and put me in public school. Then, some of my mom’s Somalian-Canadian friends started moving their kids to Egypt. My friends would stay in Egypt two years, finish the Qur’an and the girls came back wearing burqas and head-scarves. Some Muslim friends would come to school in their hijab, take them off and put them back on when they went home. We called them The Transformers.My parents really wanted us to learn the Qur’an; I don’t speak Arabic, so it was difficult. And I never believed it. I asked my mom and dad, ‘How do you know that this stuff is real?’ They got frustrated and mad and said, ‘Don’t ever ask that question again.’ I knew it wasn’t real. Mom got more and more religious. Pictures of her at age 19 -- she wore no head-scarf when she was my age. My mom expected me to be religious and I rebelled. I had to leave home.”Suwaida misses her sisters. She feels unwelcome in the family home unless she is dressed in the Islamic custom and that wouldn’t be true to herself. Away from home, Suwaida found the welcoming community she craved in the booze and cocaine culture.“It wasn’t a matter of having no money; I had no sense of hope. People at work didn’t know I was hopped from shelter to shelter at night. One winter I was told, ‘Suwaida, you’ve been restricted from every youth shelter in the city of Toronto.’” As addiction progressed, Suwaida recalls an ever-descending patterns of compromises, bad relationships and regrets.“Today, it’s like I still never unpack my suitcase; I’m always ready to go.” During a stay at St. Joe’s detox, Suwaida went to her first NA meeting.“At 7 PM, a woman spoke. I made it clear that I thought it was stupid; I wouldn’t share. At the end, everyone was holding hands to pray and I said, ‘I’m not holding any of your hands.’ I didn’t go back. When I was discharged, I went drinking at the bar with my suitcase, not knowing where I was going to stay that night.My second meeting I consider my first, because I chose it. I thought I should go to AA. I googled atheist or freethinker AA to avoid a repeat of my NA experience. I found Beyond Belief Agnostics and Freethinkers Group on the University of Toronto campus. I went there last February. For a while, I had wine in my travel-mug, and I didn’t say anything. In August I felt like the woman beside me knew I was drinking, and I ask myself, ‘What am I doing?’ So, my next meeting, I went sober. I’ve been clean and sober ever since.”Despite the child-violence of Islamic school and rejection from her family, Suwaida isn’t anti-theist. “I do believe in God or in something. I feel like I’m always looking for signs. I don’t believe in a god in the sky but to say there’s nothing beyond all this doesn’t make any sense to me. Sometimes the freakiest things happen. Maybe it’s because I’m a storyteller, I try to make a story out of everything; you think of someone, then they phone you, is that random?I feel a part-of in secular or mainstream AA meetings. My self-talk still sounds like, ‘Don’t share Suwaida, you have nothing to add.’ Maybe it comes from not being able to express myself when I was growing up. I have no sense of self. I guess I have something special to offer but I don’t know how to articulate it. It’s hard; I have limited self-confidence.”“Give them their voice; listen to them,” is Kevin Schaefer’s approach. He co-hosts the podcast Don’t Die Wisconsin. He’s also a recovery coach.“I’ve been in Recovery 29+ years. I’m a substance abuse counselor and I got into addiction treatment through sober living. When I started working in a Suboxone clinic, I came to realize that AA can’t solve everything. I always come from a harm reduction standpoint: meth, cocaine, benzos; I ask, ‘Can you just smoke pot?’ and we start building the trust there.Medically Assisted Treatment (MAT) is geared towards this generation. Most kids coming through my door know a lot about MAT, more so than people in AA with the biases and stigma that they bring. Kids sometimes know more than the front-line social workers. Their friends are on MAT, that’s how they gather their information (not to say their information is all correct). But a lot of therapists don’t understand medication. Medication can be a ticket to survival out on the streets.”The Fix asked Kevin his opinion on the best suited mutual-aid group for this generation.“Most of the generation you’re talking about walks in with anxiety and defiantly won’t do groups.” We talked about the role of online video/voice or text meetings for a tech-native generation. “Yes—where appropriate. Women especially, because from what I’ve seen, most females have suffered from trauma. I have heard women who prefer online recovery; that make sense to me. I’ve been to InTheRooms.com; as professionals we have a duty to know what’s out there. And there are some crazies online.If someone has an Eastern philosophy bent, I’ll send them to Refuge Recovery; I’ve been there. If I can, I’ll set them up with somebody that I know can help them. And let’s not forget that some youth, if Christianity is your thing, Celebrate Recovery is amazing — talk about a community that wraps themselves around the substance user. There are movie nights, food, all kinds of extracurricular activities. The SMART Recovery Movement? Excellent. SMART momentum is building in Milwaukee. They are goal-oriented and the person gets supported whether they’re on Suboxone or, in one case I know, micro-dosing with LSD for depression; they’ll be supported either way. My goal with youth is: ‘Try to get to one meeting this month; start slow.’ Don’t set the bar too high and if they enjoy it, then great.The 12-step meeting I go to, it’s a men’s meeting. There are people there on medication and they don’t get blow-back. I wish more of AA was like this. When I came in, almost 30 years ago now, I saw all the God-stuff on the walls and I thought, ‘Nah, this isn’t going to work’ but thank G… (laughs), thank the Group of Drunks who said, ‘You don’t have to believe in that.’ The range in my meeting is broad—Eastern philosophy, Native American practices, Yoga, I was invited to Transcendental Meditation meetings at members’ houses. I was fortunate to fall into this group. You know, the first book my sponsor gave me was The Tao of Physics—not The Big Book—it was this 70’s book with Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, correlated to physics and contemporary science.”So, as to the question that kicked this off, some mutual aid meetings are ready to meet the taste of a new generation; results may vary. Who’s heard: “If you haven’t met anyone you don’t like in AA, you haven’t gone to enough meetings”?The reverse is true, also. If the peer-to-peer meetings I’ve sampled seem too narrow or dogmatic, maybe my search for just the right fit isn’t over. And if I don’t want a face-to-face meeting, there’s always Kevin’s podcast, virtual communities like The Fix, or I can order one of Bob or David or Jeffrey’s books if that’s more to my taste.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 https://www.thefix.com/aa-too-religious-generation-z

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West Bend Iowa Cheap car insurance quotes zip 50597

"West Bend Iowa Cheap car insurance quotes zip 50597

West Bend Iowa Cheap car insurance quotes zip 50597

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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West Bend Iowa Cheap car insurance quotes zip 50597

West Bend Iowa Cheap car insurance quotes zip 50597

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Will a dropped speeding ticket affect insurance rates?

How is 18yr old meant to get car insurance?

I live in London and passed my test in February. I own Renault Clio 1.2 And the cheapest quote i got so far is 305 pounds per month, which is way too much for me. What companies are cheap? What can i do to start driving legally, searching for insurance is frustrating Dont say price comparison websites they suck cheapest quote there was 8k per year""

Do I have to transfer my car to get an insurance discount?.?

I'm moving back home for the school year because my parents live in the city I'm attending University at. I have my own car and my dad was telling me I should probably transfer the car into his name for ease, as I would get the house hold discount rate. To me this doesn't make any sense, and I know how controlling my parents are, is this another way for him to have some control on me?.. Or is this legit?.. I've never had any special rate or whatnot, I've been paying my own insurance since my first car. I just want to know. Does he need to OWN my car before I can be put on the household discount? * Both of our insurance plans are state farm if that helps* - Thanks in advance.""

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West Bend Iowa Cheap car insurance quotes zip 50597

West Bend Iowa Cheap car insurance quotes zip 50597

What is the best company for mobile home insurance?

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Will My Insurance go up?

The other driver reported the accident on his insurance company but we decided that we'll settle the damages outside the insurance company to prevent my rates from going up. The other insurance company is contacting me now. Does it mean that my insurance company knows about the accident and will raise my insurance rates even if we dont settle this insurance to insurance?

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i recently came across a cheap ford focus 2000 edition, and recently passed my test and just wondering what would the insurance be like? exspensive? i really like the car but i dont want it if the insurance will be a bomb""

""How do I get quotes on things such as insurance, utility cost, and building remodling?""

how do I get quotes on things such as insurance, utility cost, and building remodling when I'm writing a business plan? We finally have found a great location for a bar and grill we have wanted to open and a business plan requires a lot of estimating costs and I want to find the most accurate figures so that I can set myself up for success.""

How do i switch my auto insurance policy before my term is up?

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Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commercials that says Not available in all states ?

Afterall, its called Allstate !""

What would the annual insurance cost range look like for a Benz C63 AMG?

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""Getting my own car, insurance and registration.?""

I'm getting my own car, but I don't have a license yet. So I was just wondering should I put it under my dad's name first? And also the registration and insurance. Should it be under my dad's name first or can I put it under my name? They were thinking about getting the insurance for me because it would be cheaper but would it be possible for them to get the insurance if the car is under my name?""

Is it true the you can get car insurance thru Medicaid or Medicare?

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Old DUI and Insurance rates.?

Unfortunately I was a stupid kid and received a DUI in July of 2007 in the state of PA. Now after years of traveling and studying overseas I am living in California and about to buy a car in a few months. I am wondering if anyone knows whether or not this DUI will play a major role in getting insurance?

Home content insurance?

I am new to the UK. In Japan, few people buy home content insurance because home contents are normally not valuable. It seems to me most people here buy home content insurance. It sounds not attractive a)the premium b)the high excess. What is your view?""

How much will insurance try to offer for a stolen 1985 El Camino.?

I had my camino stolen. Show quality, special interest car. How much will an adjuster generally offer since it cant be found in Kelly's Blue Book. Also, whats the process of getting more for it as Im almost positive they wont offer what the car was actually worth?""

Cheap car insurance for a new 17 year old driver in philadelphia?

I have a 2000 ford taurus and pay 240 every month for insurance.. is there any cheaper insurance i can use?

I dont get car insurance?

i am looking for my first car . i did a quote on a 2001 1.2 fiat punto 3 doors. The quote was 1600. but i then saw a 5 door punto. a 2000 1.2 5 door punto the quote for that was 1989. and thats from the same company. how can it cost more to insure a 5 door car.

Car insurance for an 18 year old?!?

Hi all, my cousin's 18th birthday is coming up and i've been charged with finding out what car insurance is like for 18 year olds. would it be cheaper to put her on her mother's car insurance (white BMW, automatic, about 2 and a bit years old, not sure of exact model) or to get her a second hand smaller car with a smaller engine? I have no idea! Her parents aren't willing really to pay ridiculous amounts which insurance for 18 year olds can get to! please help! thanks""

Drive without car insurance?

i can't afford car insurance right now... i just have too many other obligations. does anyone else care to comment on what its like to drive without insurance? what happens if you get caught?

Can I purchase two insurance policies for one vehicle?

Just wondered if anyone knew if it was possible to have 2 car insurance policies on one car? The situation is this: I share an insurance policy with my mom and its under her name. We have recently renewed our policy for a year and are getting a good rate. However, last week I have gotten a DUI and most likely will have my license suspended. In order to reinstate it I will have to file an SR22 form with an insurance company. I heard that one way to keep your current policy (if the current preferred company does not find out about your DUI violation- which they wouldnt for another year), is to buy minimum liability with one of our companies with an SR22 filing. This way DMV is satisfied because you have made your filing - and since your current company has not found out about your drunk driving offense - you are able to keep your current policy. I need to know asap if this is possible so would really appreciate any replies! Thanks""

""What is the best learner motorcycle, cheap on insurance and good quality?""

I am looking to learn how to ride a motorcycle and am looking for a bike that is easy to learn, cheap to run, cheap on insurance and a good ride. Are older bikes cheaper? Are some brands better on insurance than others? Thanks.""

Why do woman drivers get cheaper car insurance?

Why do woman drivers get cheaper car insurance?

Anyone know about AAA car insurance and there uninsured motorist policy in California?

My daughters agent also mine now says she needs to pay her deductible,. I used to have farmers when the same thing happened to me ( a uninsured unlicensed driver hit her).And my deductible was waived. When I looked over the policy it doesnt say anything about a deductible. Any help would be appreciated""

What is the best car insurance?

What Is the best car insurance for 18 year old. Im driving a 99 s10 blazer.

What are the average car insurance yearly rates for a teenager in Chicago with Good Grades?

What are the average car insurance yearly rates for a teenager in Chicago with Good Grades?

What can I get FIRST: a driver's license or car insurance?

I'm 19 & have had a class O learner's permit since February & my brother has been giving me driving lessons with his car since then. A couple days ago he got me this $300 car for when I get my license (so I won't keep asking to borrow his, lol) so..... I called the DMV, but this lady said I needed proof of insurance for a driver's license, plates, registration, etc.... So I called this insurance company, but the guy there said he needed a valid driver's license # to even give me a quote.... I'm probably gonna get my license in the next couple of weeks, but.... 1) Why isn't a learner's permit # considered valid when trying to get car insurance? 2) Which can I get FIRST: a driver's license or car insurance? And how?""

""Car accident, how to get money from insurance company?""

one guy rear ended me on september 25th, but his insurance company still have not claimed yet. they said we have not contacted our insurer, so we can not claim this liability i call he and his insurance company to check what's going on, but they never pick up the their phone. what do i need to, shoul i call them to court (my car's mufflier and bumper broken, about $ 800 to fix it?""

West Bend Iowa Cheap car insurance quotes zip 50597

West Bend Iowa Cheap car insurance quotes zip 50597

How much will Insurance Be ????;?

Ok I'm 22 and I'm looking for a car, It's between a: 2009 BMW X5 2009 BMW 328i 2009 Mercedes C250 2009 Jeep Wrangler Rubicon 2008 Audi A4 2008 Toyota Tundra 2007 ...show more""

Where can i get cheap car insurance?

uk

I need to rent a car but I have no car insurance?

I am 25 and have a secured credit card and am looking to rent a car for my road trip in December but have no car insurance at this time since my car needs a lot of repairs and so basically it's just sitting in my parents driveway until I can get it fixed and is not registered therefore I don't have insurance on it. Long story short this is my first time renting a car ever and it's just going to be me driving but since I don't have car insurance then how does this work? Help is appreciated.

The major difference between an owners title insurance policy and a lenders title insurance policy is?

The major difference between an owners title insurance policy and a lenders title insurance policy is?

CHEAPEST DRIVING INSURANCE FOR TEENS?

im 19 and i was never insured. I live in ontario, canada. I want to be principal for 2007 chrysler sebring, I need the cheapest quote possible. thanks""

Best car insurance for a teen?

Im 16 and will be getting my license soon but have to pay for my own insurance. I would like to know which insurance agency would be cheapest?

Car insurance is it sexist?

why is car insurance cheaper for woman ?i know lots of woman say there safer drivers but i dont think thats always the case

Should I go through my car insurance company or not?

My car was parked on a decline, stalled, and ran into the back of my friends wagon. My repair quote is about $940, hers is about $615, at a total of about $1555. The excess I have to pay towards insurance repairs is $1045 (standard excess, age excess for being under 25, and some flexi-excess p.o.s). At the moment I only have enough money to fix her car, although that means waiting another few months to fix mine, and I'm impatient. Hers needs to be fixed asap for roadworthy and registration. I also have the option of finding a new bumper for hers at a much cheaper price, although that is proving difficult. Also, my insurance company only likes their choice of repairer. My panel shop has done jobs for the company before, but I'm not certain if they will let me use them. I won't have anyone else repair my car, as the money was going to go to repainting a new bonnet instead of repairing, which insurance won't cover. On another note, I'm not sure how long going through insurance will take. So my question is, do I go through insurance, even though I might not get to use my panel shop and it will cost me almost the same? Or do I leave it, and do what I can to fix my friends car cheaper? Then just suck it up and wait to have the money for mine, therefore also saving a rise on my insurance premium and a drop in my rating.""

Approximately how much would car insurance cost for a teenager in NJ?

Approximately how much would car insurance cost for a teenager in NJ?

What is Title insurance?

What is it for? any advantages? how will it benefit me?

""If I already have health insurance, but get hired somewhere where they also have health insurance as a benefit?""

does that mean I HAVE to have their insurance? I want to keep my own insurance, which is under my parents health insurance.""

What can I do when a cap on my tooth is breaking away and I cannot afford insurance and not enough money?

What can I do when a cap on my tooth is breaking away and I cannot afford insurance and not enough money?

Why is the health care bill being compared to car insurance?

No one is forced to drive, but we are forced to buy health insurance?""

Once you have insurance can you drive any car that you own?

Ok lets say you owned like a 90 honda accord or something, and you had cheap insurance for it. since its also an economic car, you use it most of the time you drive. but if you owned two other cars, such as a big v8 4x4 or a sports car v6 would you need to have separate insurance for those? or are you able to drive anything you own since you have insurance? does it matter as long as you dont get into any accidents?""

Average yearly car insurance cost for a new driver?

In Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Average yearly-term for a new driver? For: A) A 60's car B) A 90's car Both in good, but no perfect condition.. I just want to know the price range I'm looking at for a standard insurance.. $500? $5,000?""

How much is Motor Cycle insurance?

I'm 21 years old female and have had my license for 3 years, I went to driving school. So what would be my car insurance for a motor cycle each month? Is it more or less than a car? and if you don't want to answer can someone direct me to a source? Thaaaanks! <3""

Difference between comprehensive and third party insurance?

hi all. What is the difference between comprehensive insure for your car, and third party insurance for your car. please help. and thankyou in advance (:""

Where can I find good deals on auto insurance?

instant, online quotes for auto insurance""

Car Insurance On An Accident?

Yesterday I got in a car accident and it was my fault. It was a very little crash and no damage was done to either vehicle, but I gave her my insurance information anyway. If no damage was done to her vehicle will my insurance provider find out? My insurance provider is State Farm.""

Is it better to repair cars with insurance company or known mechanic?

I met with an accident the other day where a drunk guy hit me at the rear end of my totyotal avalon. there is considerable body work to be done. i dont know if there may be any ...show more

Cheapest insurance in nj?

Just got a brand new Evo x gsr and they want me to pay 279 a month. That's way to much for me and I use progressive. What other car insurance is really cheap. Please help!!!

Do i need to be on the insurance?

im going to take my drivers test and my grandpa is going to let me use his car.do i need to be on his insurance to drive his car for the test?i live in connecticut

Does anyone know any good cheap insurance companies to insure my car?

Does anyone know any good cheap insurance companies to insure my car?

Car Insurance?

I am just about to get my license. My parents want me to have my own insurance policy; and I was wondering if anyone knows of a good company to go with. Something with good coverage, but relatively cheap; I only have a part time job. I am under 18 so I know that will influence a lot of how much it costs me and etc. Any input on this is greatly appreciated.""

How much would car insurance cost under these conditions?

-15 -Texas -1995 mustang gt conv. -both parents will have insurance -car is fully paid off I would like to know what insurance would cost when i turn 16 as well.

West Bend Iowa Cheap car insurance quotes zip 50597

West Bend Iowa Cheap car insurance quotes zip 50597

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/typical-insurance-17-year-old-jose-zamora/"

[captain-unlikelynutbouquet-blog]

How much is car insurance?

"How much is car insurance?

I'm 17 and I need insurance for a car so I can own it. How much is it usually for an kinda old car like 2010 or older?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://salecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Am I required to put my parents down on my car insurance? I am concerned about liability.?

I am an adult over 40 yrs old, living with my parents. I have not been off my parents policy before. I live in New York State. Am I required to put my parents down on my car insurance, or would their car insurance cover it if they had an accident while driving my car?""

Arizona residents who are familiar with medical insurance?

If you live in the Maricopa valley area, do you happen to know who the biggest insurance (medical) providers are. Other than ACCHS? Thanx""

Should we get life insurance before my husband joins the military?

Should we get life insurance before my husband joins the military. My new york life friend told me that it's better because we can get more money if we do it before he joins. My husband says that the military pays for everything and they have there own life insurance. Which is the best route to take?? I would like to just do the new york life thing now instead of wait, he is joining in January. I'm not sure if I like the USAA life insurance. New York Life is a place I know that is reliable. But this is something people don't talk about very much. So I need some help Thanks!! :)""

Is there a new law about not having car insurance?

i heard the law had just changed in California and my insurance just ran out in order to renew i need to drive to the bank and im not sure if i can with no insurance

What health insurance will cover people with diabetes?

I have type 1 diabetes and i need affordable health insurance so if you have any inforomation I highly appericate it

How can I get cheaper car insurance?

I live in Toronto, but my address on my liscence is in a smaller town about an hour out of the city. The car that I have is registered on my husbands Toronto lisence. I want to buy insurance using my out of the city address so it will be cheaper. Would I be able to do this even though I technically live in Toronto?""

How much will car insurance be for a VW Polo for a 17 year old?

I will be turning 17 in a year and a half and i am set on getting a 2006 Volkswagen Polo because i don't need much more from a car. It will mostly just be used for short drives through my town and city and I will be parking it on the road. I'm hoping to find one with a 1.2 engine and no higher because i know that is a dramatic factor in the insurance cost. I was just wondering, as a rough estimate, how much per year (in British pounds) would the insurance be?""

""In California, how do you show proof of insurance for a driving test?

My girlfriend is making an appointment for her driving test and I offered up my car for her to use.Does she need to be added to my insurance to take the test or does the DMV just need proof that the car is insured under someone's name(me)?She won't be driving my car aside from the test as she is buying a used car immediately after the test and getting insurance on that.

Is there insurance for a person that doesn't own a car and rental company doesnt provide insurance?

I want to rent a car but the rental place close to me doesn't provide insurance. They said I would have to provide my own. Is there insurance that will cover me while I rent the rental car? And if there is who will provide that for me?

Car insurance for an ocassional driver..?

I am 17 years old and I am getting my g2 class license in a week. I plan on going as an occasional driver on my moms car which is a 2002 or 2003 Ford Cougar. Does anyone know what the price of insurance would be a year approx? I know she pays about $120 for car AND house insurance... for an occasional driver on a red 2002 or 2003 Ford Cougar (red sports car) how much would insurance per year be? Any help would be great thanks!!! :)

Is it cheaper to buy car insurance from an agent or online?

I just purchased a vehicle and I haven't had a vehicle in a while. Usually I'd get insurance from an agent in an office. I usually get a pretty good deal, but a lot of people are doing things online now for the convenience. What should I do?""

Which car insurance is the cheapest and the best of all?

I know there are alot of car insurance out there and I want to know which one is cheap and reliable. I heard Geico is good, can someone confirm it, are there any other good one besides Geico?""

Is there a good site for auto insurance quotes?

i'm 26 and gonna get a new car and looking to shop around for GOOD car insurance with GOOD coverage w/o braking the bank. is there one site to get multiple quotes or do i have to go to each insurance site individually?

Does AAA have good auto insurance?

Does AAA have good auto insurance?

How much would it cost for a male teen driver?

How much would it cost for a old 1969 chevy Malibu and to fix it up. And how much would insurance cost for a male teen driver

How do you find affordable medical insurance to cover family after the breadwinner becomes disabled?

How do you find affordable medical insurance to cover family after the breadwinner becomes disabled?

Would you be in favor of health insurance plans that cost less but force you to make lifestyle changes?

I saw somewhere that an estimated 90% of diabetes, 70% of heart disease, and 60% of cancer cases are directly related to either obesity, sedentary lifestyle, tobacco use, or drinking outside of moderation. For the amount of people that whine about drug prices, insurance costs, and drug bills, 1 out of 3 americans is overweight, something like 1 in 5 americans over 50 or 60 or something are diabetic or prediabetic (each case of diabetes costs an average of $10k per year in treatment and complications), and about 1 in 3 die of heart disease. People do not take personal responsibility for themselves, and they cost society a lot of money. Would you support an insurance plan that would be lower cost, but would drop your coverage if you developed a chronic disease like diabetes or something, and failed to get your weight down to a certain goal, mange you condition, etc. or maybe COPD and maybe you would have to quit smoking within 6 months, etc etc? Would you join the plan? Is it fair?""

""I have a DUI, I had an SR-22 filed with my insurance company. My insurance never went up, is that normal?

Am I required to carry some sort of form?

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of dedutactable do you have? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance and do you support obamacare?""

Cheapest car insurer and cheapest car to ensure?

Hello i will do my lessons soon and was wondering what is the best way to get cheap car insurance, thanks allot best regards Bilal""

Does Your Insurance Rate Go Up in a Hit & Run?

So the other day, I walked back to the parking lot after work to my car and noticed a huge dent across my passenger side/side mirror broken off. Front quarter panel and door are gone as well. No note was left. What do I do? If i go through insurance, is my rate going to go up? Whats the best way to handle this??""

Ford Mustang for a first car?

I know people say mustangs for 16 year olds have high insurance, but would buying an older model (1994-2000) with the V6 make insurance cheaper? Thanks!""

""Car payments, insurance and registration fees?""

I want to buy a car soon, but besides the car payment I was wondering how much it costs to register the car. Also I dont know if I have to register a car if Im buying a used car (itll be a newer year, but used). Im only 18 (female) and I just received my license a little while ago. Also how do I see how much insurance will cost me? Im on a budget because Im also attending college (graduated high school) and Im paying for everything myself. I do not have people to rely on for any financial aid. Though, I may ask for a car loan if I can get one. I live in the sate of Oregon (If laws vary in different states).""

Full coverage insurance for peregnant women?

I live under visa here in the u.s,,, I've heard there is a very good health insurance for peregnant women in Oklahama state coveraging all the health problem for free its website is: www.mysoonercare.org I dont live in Oklahama and I need to know if there is anything like that in other state in the U.S ????""

Affordable car insurance?

Hi; I recently bought a 2002 Pontiac Grand Am from a used car dealership and need to find some insurance on the cheap side for it. What I'm really looking for is something that simply makes the car legal, as I can't really afford anything over $40. I'm 23 and living in Harrisburg Pennsylvania so any insurance you guys know of that fall into my parameters would be great; really need this car for work.""

How much is car insurance?

I'm 17 and I need insurance for a car so I can own it. How much is it usually for an kinda old car like 2010 or older?

Motorcycle insurance for a 19 year old?

Im 19 I have taken the Motorcycle safety course. I want to insure the bike myself. Just wondering around what the cost will be around for a 600cc sport bike. Probably a older one 05-07 Anyone with a idea would be helpful

B Average for Car insurance Discount?

Will I still get the B Average car insurance discount if I have a 84.86 Average?

How much average does a family of four pay annually or monthly for health insurance?

I'm currently in the military and plan on getting out in 3yrs. I have an EF but people in the service forget about health insurance (because its free now). I want to set my family up. Just wondering what would I be looking at paying when I separate for a family of four so I can start saving

What kinds of cars are expensive to insure?

im 18 and looking to buy my first car under my parents' insurance. what cars should i stay away from? i am most likely going to buy an mustang gt coupe (1960-1990). what factors make cars more expensive to insure? ive heard things like, type of car, how easy it is to steal, and even color color affect how much i will pay for insurance. i dont just want to know the categories, i want to know what to avoid, ei, stay away from red cars. stuff like that.""

""My brother stole my car and I don't have Insurance, what do I do now?""

My brother took my car while I was at a BBQ, He was slightly intoxicated and had his 8 year old daughter in the back seat, He ended up hitting a parked truck on the road, less than a half mile from my house. My whole right side of my car is gone, My mirror, antenna, side columns, head light, right side of my bumper, and my A frame of my SUV is broken, I couldn't drive it as if i tried my right tire would of popped off. I had to get it towed. My SUV is a 2006 Jeep liberty. I don't have insurance on it right now, although I had an insurance card before i got it canceled, which state's I'm still covered until October 3rd. (which i showed the cop) My dad thinks that my car will just be totaled. I owe more than $12,000 on this car. The truck he hit also has severe damage to the back left tail light and broken his A frame in the back as well. The cops were called and luckily the cop that came was really nice and waited for me to get to the scene. He cited my brother for failure to control and my brother got really lucky he didn't get a ride to the police station. My brother just got a DUI less than 2 weeks ago. My dad said that the money for my car and the guy's truck to be fixed is going to come out of my pocket. I am only 19 I do not want to be in debt, this was my first car. I'm pissed at my brother and he has decided he is not going to go to court and he's going to run so it's all going to be my responsibility since my brother is a dummy. What do I do? Do i call and get my insurance reinstated and hope they cover it or do i just pay it out of my pocket? I didn't have insurance on that car as I have not been driving it since i just moved back to Ohio from Arizona 3 months ago. Honest answers PLEASE! I'm in over my head.""

What is a good and cheep health insurance?

i only need it for a month i'm 19 years old and in good health. oh i live in florid

Whats better an automatic s10 or a 5 spd s10 and which will be cheaper on insurance single cab or ext cab?

Whats better an automatic s10 or a 5 spd s10 and which will be cheaper on insurance single cab or ext cab?

Is Progressive really cheaper then the other insurances? i have allstate right now.?

Is Progressive really cheaper then the other insurances? i have allstate right now.?

How much does car insurance cost for a 17 year old male? Just liability not collision?

I live in Baton Rouge Louisiana

Whats a monthly premium means on insurance company?

when your trying to be appointed by a insurance company

Life insurance question?

lets say i want ten policy's worth 750,000 each why would this be a problem as long as u had the money to pay the Premium and you tell each company the truth.....""

I have liability insurance on my vehicle...?

and early this morning as I was driving out of a parking structure I hit a light that I didn't see. I got out out of the vehicle to see any damages, there ware scratches on the front bumper, and the light appears to be fine but inside the light compartment, it was damaged, the bulb fell out of its place, the whole inside of the light was cracked. Will my insurance cover this? I tried calling my insurance and they're aren't answering. If they do, what do I do next? Go to a repairshop? Go to my insurance agent? WHAT?! If they won't, how much do you think it will cost to repair the light and the bumper? There are not dents, just scratches.""

Getting insurance under my name?

I currently live in NJ. I'm planning on switching insurance companies and i would like to put it under my name. I'm currently under my dad's policy and he is the owner of the car. But, for me to get my own insurance, i need to transfer to title under my name. But, it says that you need proof of insurance before you can transfer the title. Is my dad's insurance (which is the current insurance for the car) good enough for proof?""

Are the advantage insurance plans better than standard medicare supplement insurance?

are advantage insurance plans cost effective over standard medicare supplements plans

Does anybody know where i can get cheap car insurance?

Hi, I'm 20 and i am looking to buy a small car so i can commute to work. However, the insurance on it is sky high. I have tried all sorts of different makes of cars to see if the insurance is cheaper but it doesn't really make much difference, i am looking at Puntos, Yaris's (small cars like that). I have had my licence for 3 months so obviously it is going to be slightly expensive. I have been on all of the price comparison websites and the cheapest i have got it so far is 308 A MONTH! Apparently my postcode is notorious for sky high insurance but that's just ridiculous. Does anybody know of any insurers i can try which could be cheaper? Thanks""

About car auto Insurance?

After the accident, i towed my car three times to different places. IIF my dad wants to know that where i towed my car from, would insurance company have record for knowing that where i towed my car from??""

In NY there is freelancers unions and other ways to get affordable health insurance. anything similar in SoCal

I want to start freelancing but learned that health insurance will cost me $1400/month. Anything creative I can do? Any unions or groups I can join in SoCal? Need PPO.

About how much is Valet parking insurance in FL?

garage liability insurance

Average cost of insurance and registration in Utah?

My husband and I are looking into getting two different vehicles and I am just trying to get an estimate on how much its going to cost to register them and how much I may need up front for insurance. I am 24 years old, my husband is 23 and a former truck driver. The two cars are a 1996 grand caravan (red if needed) and a 1980 Chevette (black if needed). I do not know mileage yet for either one.""

How do I find the best car insurance rates?

How do I find the best car insurance rates?

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of deducatbale do you have? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance? also, do you support obamacare?""

""Will my car insurance rates go up if damage in accident is under $1,000?""

Today I bumped a parked car when trying to pull out of a paralell parking spot. Both cars were scratched, but no dents. My car was in worse shape than hers, and I took mine to an auto body shop to get a quote on what it would cost to repair the scratch. The quote I got was $671.23. The lady (who was sitting in her car when I bumped her) said she was going to have to have the whole bumper replaced... even though it was just a scratch about 3 inches long. We called the insurance companies and I admitted fault (duh.) She said she was going to call the police and may have to go to the doctor because her neck hurt, but the police were never called. I am still worried she is going to try to sue me or get more money from me... it was just a small scratch! Not even a DENT! My main question, will my car insurance rates go up, and if so, by how much? I drive a 2010 Kia Soul. I have one other accident on my record and I pay about $150 a month. If it does go up, is it going to be drastic? Her car was a 2012 Kia Soul (same color oddly enough) so I am hoping her quote will be similar? Since the overall damage is under $1,000, what can I expect to happen? Can she really report me to the police, or try to claim injury? I was just pulling out of a parking slot and thought I was clear, but still very slow and cautious. I just don't see how I could have hurt her neck... Any help/input appreciated, thanks so much.""

Pulled over by the police today without no insurance and no driving licence in the uk?

today i got pulled over by the police without a driving licence and no insurance the car had insurance but it was in my moms name and i only had a provisional license how much points will i get for that and will i get a band?

How much is insurance on 2003 lexus IS300?

wondering how much i might be paying a month if im getting a more expensive car..?

What is an average auto insurance cost for a sedan in Alberta?

I am wondering what an average auto insurance cost is to be suspected. If this helps I will be a 16 year old male driving a 2007-2010 Mazda 3 Sedan.

How much is car insurance?

I'm 17 and I need insurance for a car so I can own it. How much is it usually for an kinda old car like 2010 or older?

Good site for buy SR22 Insurance Texas?

I had my first Dwi... :(

How high will insurance go if i caused a small crash?

I was backing up and hit the guy behind me. I dented my bumper and broke my light (still works) his car doesnt have anything the matter with it. He told me he wants to see if it's broke and look at it in the morning and if thier isnt anything real bad he will let it go. He took my info. I'm paying $112 a month now the cars in my dads name. How much should i expect it to go up if he reports it? (no cops where involved) I'm also 16 i think age does matter not sure tho.

How much would my insurance go up if i add a K N filter on to my car? if its 800 Now?

i drive a 09 reg Vauxhall Corsa SXi?

Insurance help please?

got hit from behind by a driver who has insurance, i notified my insurance what happens next ? will my car get repaired by his company or mine ? and how does a deductible work ? Ive never been in an accident so i am clueless on this,,,,,and how do they fix your car ? do they tell you where to go to repair it ? or just give you the money ? and how do you determine how much ? sorry for being uninformed completely !!!! thanks for your knowledge""

Car insurances how they rate?

different car insurances how they compare

How much people pay for car insurance?

hi im 19 and gt my license recently i was wonder how much people pay for car insurance, and what cars are cheap to insure thanks.""

""Low cost health insurance, where can I find some?

I am able to squeeze 150 dollars out of our family budget for a monthly health insurance. I would like to be able to choose a doctor. I live in Florida. I'd like any help and ...show more

Questions about car insurance?

If I get a Mustang 2011 (300 Hp V6) next year, my aunt who is a senior citizen and she has a clean record report, will be the owner of the car. I'm 18 though, how much is the cost for insurance in a year going to be?? Just estimation is fine.""

Help on car insurance.?

I am 17 yrs old. I am about to get a 2008 Honda accord but right now I drive a 2002 Cadillac escalade. my insurance is $130 a month right now and I was wondering if it would raise it? the escalade is an SUV, & it has a v8. the accord is ofcourse a car and its a 4 cylinder! ( if that makes a difference) thank you to all that answer! :)""

Suv insurance 16 years?

I am getting a mini suv probably a 2006 chevrolet equinox or a 2006 tuscan hyundai for my 16th birthday. I am going to have to pay the insurance on it though, I would be cosighning with my parents. They have perfect credit and also I have a 4 month old daughter who will be riding with some of the time. About how much would the insurance cost me? I'm clueless when it comes to these things. Thanks in advance. Also what is the best mini suv to buy that is under 25 thousand?""

Can you register and buy a (cheap) car with no license or insurance?

I want to know if i can register a very cheap car thats around 2,000 tops at a used car lot and buy it with no problems.What problems will i face isnt it easyier to get a cheap car like this then at a actual new dealer i have no license or insurance do i pick a dealer with in house financing the only thing they will most likely ask for is it to get registered can i do that im paying half down.?im 21 im getting my license in 2 weeks (and no i cant wait)""

How much is car insurance for a 17 year old boy who is workin fast food?

How much is car insurance for a 17 year old boy who is workin fast food?

Question about car insurance?

I'm wondering something about car insurance. I am a 17 year old male, (turning 18 in 1 month) and have been driving a 2001 Hyundai accent since October. I am insured with esurance, and have liability only. I have a clean driving record. My monthly insurance is $197. I am on my parents policy. When I first called to get a quote, (cheapest company for me) it was around 120 a month, but then they got the VIN number and of course it went up because it knew exactly what car it was. Of course car insurance is very expensive for a male my age. My question is that I'm trying to save money to buy a jeep wrangler this summer. Will probably be a year 1997-2003. I want to know about how much it would cost to insure the jeep. I hear mixed responses about the cost to insure a wrangler, iv heard it's expensive because of the high theft rate and roll over chances. I know of course I don't know how much it will be exactly, considering I don't have a VIN number for the jeep wrangler. I get extremely expensive quotes when I search online, and the are all completely off. My parents policy has probably 4 or 5 cars on it and I am excluded off everyone's car. My sister has been in 2 wrecks and 2 speeding tickets, which I heard makes my insurance increase also. Anyone who has a general idea about cost for me to insure a jeep wrangler, thank you.""

Cheap car insurance with DUI?

I'm really struggling to pay rent along with everything else, and now I have to pay car insurance or else my registration will be suspended. I can barely afford to buy food with my part time job and school. Is there a really cheap car insurance company that accept DUIs? I don't have bad credit and have ALWAYS paid my bills, I just need something relatively cheap or else I have no idea how I am going to stay under a roof with food. I live in northern California if that matters.""

Car insurance question.?

If you are in an accident does your insurance company only pay to fix your car or can they pay you like cash for how much the damage costs?

Just passed her test and then crashed before they got the insurance sorted.?

Hi, I am interested in people's views of the following: A friends daughter is 17 and last Friday passed her driving test to much family celebration. She went out driving to see her friends, grandparents, and to get some experience. On the Monday the family tried to get insurance quotes but hadn't made a decision on which one to go with until Tuesday. Tuesday lunch she went out with three girlfriends and lost control of her car. No-one was seriously hurt but there are some stiff necks, bumps and bruises. She rolled the car after losing control over a hump back bridge. No other vehicles were involved but her own car is written off. The Police were called and paramedics. She is still on Provisional Insurance as the call hadn't been made to change the insurance, mum and dad were just moving money about so they can pay. The Police say she wasn't speeding just lacked experience and was taken by surprise on the road in question in the rain. So the questions for them are: 1. What is the legal position? Neither parent is concerned about making an insurance claim or anything like that. It was one of those awful moments in life and they are not interested in the value of the car just the welfare of the girls. 2. What does she have to present to the Police - I think they said that she would have to present her licence? 3. Do the parents have to tell the insurance company if they don't intend to claim? They are very honest people but don't want to do anything that would unnecessarily impact their daughters ability to move forward. 4. What should they do going forward with her? They would like to get her over the situation by putting her on the road again as they believe that she is a safe driver and has just been very unlucky. Any thoughts are appreciated, All the best, CF""

Motorcycle insurance?

I am looking at buying a road bike to save money on gas. i am 21 years old and have a good driving history. how much do you pay for insurance? I live in Michigan? do i need insurance? does it matter the size engine for different price insurance?

What car would be cheapest for insurance?

When I turn 16 I am deciding on getting a v6 1998 firebird or a 1998 v6 camaro what one do you think would be cheaper for insurance. I live in nebraska in a small town

Unemployment Insurance California?

I have been recently laid off after working for a company for 13 years. I filed for unemployment, but was denied benefits because I am currently employed by another company. However, it is a commission only position (Loan Officer) and I am learning the trade and have not made any sales, hence I have not been paid. I feel I should be able to get unemployment benefits until I actually get paid. Do I have a case for an appeal?""

What is the cheapest insurance company?

ok so im an 18 year old guy and i just bought a 98 mustang. i also got my g2 recently.i am thinking of putting the car under my moms name and me as a secondary driver. what is the cheapest company you can recommend?

Short term car insurance (UK)?

I need to renew my car insurance policy soon but am going away in June for a year so cannot get a full years policy. My company has told me to take out a years policy then cancel it before i leave in June. Does anyone know of a UK insurance company that could give me a policy for just a few months to save me cancelling it later on. Thanks

""Good, Cheap, Low Insurance Cost, 1st car for a 19 Year Old?

Should be taking my driving test very soon. Ive looked at cars i would like to have. But obviously the insurance is much to high. Any body got any good ideas which would be a good car for me? can pay up to 2000 for the car. because I'm not paying for it. all i have to fund is the insurance. So any low insurance cars around?

How much cheaper is bike insurance (if at all) than car insurance?

i am 18 and am torn between the two, i will go for the cheapest option. as none of my parents can drive i cant be put on one of there policies :( so id have to start from scratch. if i am to insure a bike im lookin at insurance for a bike of 125 cc.""

Friends borrowing car - how do i insure them without using my car insurance?

I want to make sure they're insured to drive my car but really don't want them to claim on my policy should anything go wrong - is it possible to just get temporary car insurance to cover them separately from my insurance?

National insurance number

I know you can get your national insurance number before your 16 , does this mean you can apply for a job as soon as you get you national insurance number , even if you are still 15 ?""

How much is car insurance?

I'm 17 and I need insurance for a car so I can own it. How much is it usually for an kinda old car like 2010 or older?

Car insurance company discriminate against me because I was not born in the UK?

I had a quote for car insurance through a well-known national company. They were aware I had a UK licence for 5 years and had no convictions, claims etc. I rang and spoke to a representative and she confirmed the quote. The following day I decided to accept and called them. We went through my information and the agent said, so you were born in the UK? I said no, I am a UK citizen but I was born abroad. The quote then went up by 200 !!!! I took issue and spoke to a manger who said this was legitimate when I told him I was certain it was illegal since the only information that had changed was my place of birth, he eventually said he would honour the original quote. I then bought the policy with a one-off payment. Insurance is a racket and I don't think they should be alllowed to get by with this. Does anyone know anything about this and what can be done next to make sure it doesn't happen to other people?""

Idea of what monthly insurance rates are for new drivers?

I am a new driver and would like an idea of insurance rates for new drivers, I know its high. i live in Connecticut and so far Ive been told AAA is the cheapest for new drivers. Also would i pay more if i drive and SUV rather than a car Any advice on how i can pay at least a reasonable amount monthly?""

Help on AT&T insurance?

Okay so when I got my upgrade I got the htc one x with insurance . A month later my friend traded me a galaxy nite for my htc one x . And now my galaxy note doesn't want to work will the insurance cover the note?

Car insurance/van insurance?

My son 24 year old with 7 points .Trying to fet him car insurance cheaper than 1000.Also van insurance cheaper than 300. IN10 AND CD30 on his license .Does anyone know who could possibly beat these quotes .Thanks

How can u break a medical insurance policy to get your own insurance?

my girlfriends mom wont give her the copy of medical card and wants to get her own policy

Which color and style cars are the most expensive in insurance??

I looking at getting myself a chevy cobalt, I want a black, white or red coupe style but I know that they can be a little more in insurance and I just want to know what colors and styles are the most.. By the way I'm a 22 year old female in Chicago, I know that might make a difference in the cost as well.. Any info would be helpful..""

How does car insurance work?

I just wrecked and I backed up into someone. How does insurance work. Do they basically pay for it or what. Or after you wreck do you have to pay more for insurance??

Car accident and issue with the insurance company?

I was in one car accident and someone hit the back of my car and pushed me to the front car. that caused a lot damage to my car. But, the insurance company which represent the guy hit me from the back said it is my fault of causing this accident. because i emerge from the left line to the right and didn't ensure there was safe enough to do emerging. The truth is the accident happend was after almost half miniute after emerging and i completely finished the emerging action. when i explained this to the insurance company, they won't listen to me.....so is that really my fault?""

Insurance Cost for Hyundai Elantra in Canada?

I'm 23 years old living in ontario canada, and I'm planning on buying a used 2004 hyundai elantra. I've taken driving school and now have g2 driving license. I'm looking for other people who have also bought the same car and around the same age as me, and I just wanna ask how much do you pay for your car insurance and what's the best (cheaper) company i should go for? Thanks =]""

What is the difference between home insurance and buildings and contents insurance?

hi. I will soon be moving into my first house with my girlfriend and its all new to me. We have been told we need a few insurances. Is there a difference between home insurance and building and contents insurance? or are they both the same thing? will they cover leaks, fire, structural damage, theft, boiler etc The house is in Newcastle UK. I would appreciate any help thank you

Which car insurance companies are cheapest for teen girls?

I am a girl going on 17 years old and I finally just got my license. Now my dad and I are looking for the cheapest plan in the cheapest insurance company to go on for my car insurance. Help?

I want an insurance quote?

I want to the difference in insurance between a 93 v6 Camaro and a 93 Camaro Z28

Allstate and state farm refused to insure me.. Who will?

I have 3 accidents and a ticket in 8 years of driving (oops) and all state and state farm refused to insure me... Does anyone know who is out there who will?

Which is the cheapest yet reliable auto insurance company?

Which is the cheapest yet reliable auto insurance company?

Cheap ohio auto insurance?

hi! does anyone know what some of the cheapest auto insurance companies are in ohio?

Do I need to mention car insurance claims when going for motorbike insurance?

Title says it all really! I have a car insurance claim against me which I want to know if I have to declare when applying for motorbike insurance. Hopefully not, because motorcycling is quite different to car driving..?! Thanks!""

I just got a new car and the insurance is $160/ month. Does this seem high?

I'm 37 with an excellent driving record. The car is a 2013 Ford escape titanium. My honda insurance was much cheaper, but it was old. What do you think?""

Does Wal-Mart have better and cheaper insurance than Obamacare?

http://www.examiner.com/article/washington-examiner-walmart-s-health-plans-are-better-than-obamacare On Jan. 7, 2013, The Washington Examiner released the results of an investigation finding Walmart's employee health insurance is significantly better than Obamacare. Walmart has come under mega union labor union criticism as a retailer whose employees are both underpaid and mistreated. Like many insurance plans which have been canceled as a result of Obamacare benefit regulations, Walmart's health insurance has been called substandard. However after an in-depth comparison, the watch dog team of the Washington Examiner discovered employees of Walmart receive a better bang for the buck than Obamacare. In comparison to Obama care, it was discovered that Walmart plans were a whopping five to nine times less expensive. Full-service individual coverage in a Walmart HRA plan is available through a Blue Cross Blue Shield preferred provider organization for as little as $40 a month while family coverage averages $160 a month.""

What are some good insurance companies to contract with as an independent broker?

What are some good insurance companies to contract with as an independent broker?

Do insurance companies have a specific category for rock crawlers and how much does it cost to insure one?

I want to buy a rock crawler and the only reason I would probably insure it is just so I could drive it on the street ocassionally not as a daily driver that wouldnt be to smart anyway depends though

How expensive of a car can i get if im military?

I'm looking ahead into the future a bit but in about a year i will be an E3 in the USAF. I will be bringing home about 1700 a month before taxes, so about 1300-1400 after taxes. I only have about 100 a month of bills and obviously live for free(housing and food). I was wondering, how much of a new car can i finance through a dealership. I have about 1000-1100 after i set aside some money into the bank. So that leaves me about 1000 a month that i could set aside to car, and insurance. I know my insurance will be pretty high, but i was wondering if anyone has any first hand experience as to how much of a car i'd get approved for. BTW: I have good credit, i dont have anything big on my credit report, but ive had credit cards, and cell phone, and furniture and insurance payments for about 3 years, and never had any problems with payments. So my credit is good with what i have, but i dont really have anything big so i would need a codigner if i were to try and get a car today. But from what ive read dealers usually approve anyone in the military, and especially if they have decent-good credit. THANKS!!!""

Do you need boating insurance in California?

Do you need boating insurance in California?

How do I get health insurance for my newborn?

I am 6 months pregnant and 21 years old. I am still on my parents' health insurance, as I am an unemployed student. My boyfriend, who is an independent, is an unemployed student as well. He is currently uninsured and, as we have found, is uninsurable due to the fact that I am pregnant. My parents' health insurance WILL NOT cover grandchildren (dependents of dependents) and so my baby will not be covered on their plan. Individual health insurance plans will not cover my infant until up to 30 days AFTER he is born (and we can apply for medical insurance for him). How do I secure health care coverage for him BEFORE he comes so he can start going to the pediatrician immediately?""

Is affordable (not free) health care a right or a privilege?

There are many constituancies in this debate not the least of which is individual health responsibility. That said the costs are driven in large part by greed. Insurance, hospitals, doctors, drug companies, lawyers, restaurants and the food industry and fraudsters all have a dog in this fight. If affordable health care is believed to be a right (I believe it is) then all of these constituants need to come together. Al Tennessee""

What is an average 16 year old car insurance bill?

Im am 16 years old bought a car sunday its a 96 240sx 2 door, and my mom is wondering how much my insurance would cost. And we are with allstate if that helps you guys.""

How much is car insurance?

I'm 17 and I need insurance for a car so I can own it. How much is it usually for an kinda old car like 2010 or older?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/louisiana-department-insurance-gov-christopher-anderson/"