#he also hates himself and wants to get better and be better

[sunnypopoki]

— 𝐌𝐔𝐙𝐙𝐋𝐄 ; P.4

(𝘠𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘔𝘢𝘧𝘪𝘢 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘹 𝘍𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳)

𝗦𝗬𝗡𝗢𝗣𝗦𝗜𝗦: 𝘈𝘯 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘒𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘶𝘺. 𝘖𝘩 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭. 𝘈𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘦’𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

ᴛᴡ: ɪɴꜱᴇᴄᴜʀᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟɪꜱᴛɪᴄ ꜰᴇᴍᴀʟᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ꜰᴏᴜʟ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ, ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱʜɪᴘ, ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛ��ɴᴛ, ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ, ᴏᴠᴇʀᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ᴀꜰᴀʙ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ᴇᴛᴄ.

ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ʜᴀꜱ ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ. ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴇᴀɴꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɪɴ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴛɪᴄɪᴢᴇ ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇꜱ, ꜱᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴅᴏ ꜱᴏ ᴇɪᴛʜᴇʀ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴏᴘᴏᴋɪ ᴏɴ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, Qᴜᴏᴛᴇᴠ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ.

Р.3 / Р.5

Days passed and it was those days that depression started to kick in. While you knew you struggled with basic anxiety and moments of sadness, what came the following days after the store incident felt otherworldly. And not in a good way.

Kieran was busier than normal. This said a lot because he was always busy, but now you were starting to notice minor details that worried you. Busted knuckles, a cracked lip, and a worsening mood. He was beyond stressed and you hadn't the faintest idea of why, but because of this, you've done your best to avoid him entirely.

You believed not talking to him as much as why you were depressed. Among all your other suspicions and worries, everything started to turn downhill when you picked up on the fact some of his clothes had specks of blood and his knuckles were busted. It was one of the few things you tried asking him about. While you avoided the arousing suspicion of cheating, your heart dropped thinking that he was doing something else like getting hurt somewhere. Whenever you asked why his hands were hurt, he brushed it off, said he had a moment of anger, and took it out on a wall.

You didn't believe him. He knew you didn't believe him too. However, you were running out of energy to continue asking and he was running out of energy to continue lying.

You were starting to question if something else was going on. His busted hands were odd but the way he was talking to you was even odder. He seemed paranoid about you going anywhere alone. A good example was that you tried driving to a doctor's appointment yesterday and he was adamant about driving you himself. He wasn't there to drive you. He stopped everything he was doing just to pick you up and take you himself.

Were you selfish for wanting him to worry about you? Yes, you were concerned for him, but there was this small spark of glee each time he rushed to take you places and to see if you were okay. He was finally paying attention to you, even if that attention stemmed from something else, even if you had that gut feeling he'd eventually lose interest and ignore you. What a horrible way to think. It wasn't like you didn't care about what he was going through, but his attention made you feel... better. But it also made you feel worse.

"Are you almost ready?"

He looked up when you peeked into the bedroom. He was in the middle of putting on his belt and he smiled ear to ear. Dark bags were under his eyes and the cut on his cheek from yesterday was slowly healing. He refused to tell you where he got it and each time you asked, he changed the subject entirely. You hated it when he did that. Kieran was good at making others unaware when he changed subjects, even you. You only realized until later that he did. By then, it was too late to ask again.

"Yes," he finished putting on his belt and then rolled up his sleeves, "do I look weird? You're staring at me again."

You couldn't help but smile. "You're handsome as always, I'm just worried about the cut on your cheek. Is it feeling better?"

"It's okay."

You opened your mouth to respond but Kieran was next to you in seconds. Ever since the ordeal with the two men outside the store, he's been extra touchy. And extra means extra. He would hold onto you for as long as he could before he was forced to let go or you moved him off you. It was as if he couldn't get enough. Your face burned when he twisted his head to the side and nipped at your ear, smiling against your skin.

"You're beautiful," he confessed, "it makes me want to keep you here with me. We could just skip this whole outing and cuddle on the couch, or we can take a nap in bed..."

As if that would work out. You were surprised he was heading out with you in the first place. Taking you to the doctor was one thing, but going out for hours was another. Whenever you told him that an old friend from high school wanted to meet up with you and chat, he didn't want you to go alone, even if it meant he'd likely miss his suspicious phone calls.

"We have to go. I already promised."

It was even more suspicious that he wanted to go with you to meet this old friend. Especially considering their track record of insults when they used to hang out together. You squinted at him.

"What?" he tilted his head.

"I'm surprised just you agreed to go. You've never liked Danny."

Daniel Evergrown, better known as "Danny", was a boy you went to high school with. He was the opposite of Kieran back then; straight A's, valedictorian, and a genius when it came down to business. He was your friend back in middle school when your parents wanted you to connect with other children. Particularly of higher status, which Danny was, with both of his parents being surgeons. He stayed your friend throughout your teen years. The two of you split after graduation like most friends did.

You never thought he'd reach out and ask for you to catch up with him. It was even more shocking that he invited you to meet up at a fancy restaurant. Even if he was raised in a rich household, he never enjoyed fancy places to eat. He always said that they made him sick to his stomach.

Kieran bared his teeth in a bright smile and chuckled. "I didn't like him in high school. That was a while ago. He probably has changed since then."

"You never told me why you disliked him, you know?"

He tilted his head and ran his hands up your back, trailing your spine with his fingers, then grabbing the back of your neck to scratch tenderly. His teeth nipped at your jaw when he leaned down. His breath was hot and needy, and he cradled the back of your head. "Hm... you couldn't realize he had a crush on you back then?"

A second passed before you busted out laughing. Everything about that was preposterous. Danny? Having a crush on you? That was impossible! He was so obsessed with his grades in school that you doubted he loved anything else. While his parents also forced him to have the best grades in school like yours did, he actually enjoyed learning, unlike you who hated it.

"No way he had a crush on me!"

"He did. It's not my fault that you're oblivious. You were oblivious to my crush on you for the longest time," he huffed with a small pout. "I gave you a kiss on the cheek once and you questioned me right after like I committed a crime."

"That's because you hated me!" you gaped, pointing at him, "you always used to do nice things and then prank me right after. You even made fun of my accent once and called me a leftover, moldy pizza box."

He scoffed. "That was a long time ago. I love your accent now."

"So you didn't like it at first?"

"Forgive me, Котик. I was a dumb teenager who hated anything American."

"You still hate many things Americans do," you rolled your eyes. "I could list a whole ton of them off the top of my head."

"Americans are very touchy and smiley with people they don't know. I only want you to touch me," he leaned in, "and smile at me, kiss me, and talk to me. Everyone else can go rot."

There were times when you swore everything was just in your head. Unlike the game you always played when he avoided eye contact, you didn't take three gulps of breath, you merely held it and stared at him. He looked like he could only lean on you. That was when you started to melt, when he took your breath away and made your heart flutter.

"You know, when you talk like that, you sound obsessed."

His eyes crinkled around the edges. "Can't I be?"

When he talked like this, it made you feel special. Wanted. Desired. Your throat swelled up and heat spread across your cheeks. Looking away, you cleared your throat. You never knew how to respond when he acted like this. It always left you speechless. He acted like this in high school too, muttering how you were the only person he ever wanted near him. That he was hooked on you like a drug.

"That's unhealthy thinking."

"But you like it," his throat rasped and you shivered when his hands raked down your sides to squeeze your waist again, "you're not good at hiding what you like, Котик."

"Oh shut up," you grumbled.

"Mm, kiss me and I might."

You didn't get a chance to respond before his lips smashed against yours. The breath that wasn't even in your lungs was knocked even farther away, your back arching into him while he pulled you closer. He couldn't keep his hands off of you. Your back, neck, arms, waist. He kissed you like he was starving. The heat under your cheeks worsened. By the time he pulled away, you felt dizzy.

His eyes sparkled. "You're not supposed to hold your breath, Котик.”

"I—no—shut it! We need to leave or we will be late."

He raised his hands in defense. "Yes, yes."

You hated it when he embarrassed you like that. Not that he tried to embarrass you on purpose, but he did like to tease you when he noticed you got shy. It was moments like that when you realized that you were just as obsessed with him as he was with you. Hooked on him like a drug you'd never be able to get rid of, that was why ever suspicion you had hurt so much. It made sense why you loved him so much. Even when things got hard, he was still your Kieran. You heated up at the thought.

You slipped from his grasp and scurried away. You grabbed your bag from the back of the couch in the living room and ran to the front door, listening to Kieran walk right after you. You wrapped your scarf around your neck.

"Want me to drive? Or you?" he asked.

"You."

He chuckled. He was a better driver than you even if you never wanted to admit it, plus if you had to be honest, you never enjoyed driving. As you two headed out to the car, you yelped when a hand smacked your ass. Whipping around seething, you hissed at him. Your face was even hotter than before.

"Kieran!"

He looked like a kid who got his hand caught in the cookie jar. Grinning cheekily, he slipped into the driver's seat, giggling like a boy. Your heart swelled up and he turned on the radio. Paranoid or not about something, he looked to be in a good mood today. Maybe it was because he was going out with you, maybe he heard good news earlier in the day, you weren't entirely sure. But his giddy smile filled your heart with butterflies.

The heat was quickly turned on. You held your hands in front of the vents and hoped the air would melt away the cold bite in your fingers.

"Where are we meeting Danny at again?" he asked, glancing in the rearview mirror as he backed up.

"A restaurant called 'Papillon'. It's closer to the city."

Kieran raised an eyebrow. The whole reason you asked for him to dress up nicer was because it was a four-star restaurant, and while it didn't have a dress code, it was a fancy place. It's been a while since you wore a dress. You weren't fond of dresses, you were always forced to wear them as a kid, so you had a natural distaste for them now.

He was dressed in a simple white dress shirt and nice black pants. His shoes were shiny and his hair was let loose down his shoulders. His tattoos peeked out from his collar and sleeves. He gripped the steering wheel with one hand and fixed the GPS, not brave enough in his memory to drive there on his own. He placed his other hand on your thigh when he was done.

It was refreshing that you weren't ignoring him anymore. It was even more refreshing to see him smiling so much, not stressed or horribly tired after he came home late. But of course, not ignoring him came with a price nowadays. You couldn't ask any questions because he might just ignore them. Not about his cuts, his job, his life. You ignored the bitter taste in your mouth.

"We have to be here in 30 minutes, right?"

"Yes, so there's no reason to rush. We have enough time," you nodded.

"Mmm."

You opened your mouth to say something. Anything to switch your mind off your depressing thoughts, but your prayers were heard. Not in a good way. You distracted by the radio, which was blasting the news, the news reporting sounding strangely serious for the middle of the day.

"Three people have been found deceased today on route nine. They were discovered at sunrise, around 7:00 AM, and their names are Rhonda Layne, Roman White, and Garret Wood. All of them are between the ages of 30 and 35."

"Holy hell," you mumbled.

Now you weren't usually interested in the news or gossip, but this was so sudden that it felt like a slap to the face. Route nine was surprisingly close to your house and a well populated road, not a place where you'd randomly find dead bodies strewn about. Maybe an accident, but found? Kieran glanced at the radio as well, pursing his lips in displeasure. He almost looked disgusted. You didn't blame him, hearing about three dead bodies being found didn't sit well with the mind or stomach, especially knowing how close it was to your house.

The newscaster continued to ramble on about the situation. You turned it up to listen.

"From what we have gathered from the police department, we have been told that this might as well be a murder case. No suspects have been taken into custody. If you or anyone you know has a tip on what happened, please call the number—"

"Murder? So like a serial killer?"

Bile gurgled in your gut. What if those tattooed men you met a couple days ago were the killers? What if someone else was? What if you got kidnapped and murdered that day just because you decided to walk at night? You weren't a strong person. If someone came after you with the intent to kill, you didn't think you'd make it out alive in any scenario. In fact, you'd probably rush your own death. You'd rather die immediately instead of a prolonged end.

Kieran's hand squeezed your thigh. His fingers kneaded into your flesh, massaging gently. Glancing over, you saw him watching you from the corner of his eye as he drove down the road. He looked worried.

"It'll be okay, Котик. The police department will take care of it and catch them," he rubbed circles on your skin. "They won't touch a single hair on your head, I swear it."

"I know. But like—I don't know, what if they hurt you?"

He blinked. "Me?"

"Sometimes you leave late," you swallowed the sudden dryness in the back of your throat, "what if they find you and hurt you? What if they kill you and dump—"

He smiled warmly. He squeezed your leg so tightly that you were sure that his hand would imprint there forever. It was some comfort for your pounding heart. He almost looked amused, but you shook the thought away, knowing that he didn't take joy from seeing you worried. You had to be seeing things. He was never the type to get amused when others were hurt. He was either indifferent or annoyed with the entire situation, sometimes disgusted.

"I won't get hurt, Котик."

"But you could.”

"Hmm," he paused, "then I'll start staying home more to be safe. I'm sure my clients will understand."

Your jaw almost dropped. Out of all the things he could have said, you didn't expect that. Your heart soared but you quickly tied it down. No, why should you be excited that he was forced to stay home because of some dangerous threat? Why were you excited for his freedom to be limited? Deep down, you knew why. If he was fine with staying home, then that meant it would be less likely he was cheating on you. It meant he wouldn't be meeting up with some woman named 'Sam'.

Maybe you were a bad person. Being grateful for the situation yet the whole situation was caused by three innocent people being found dead. Guilt swamped your head and you looked out the window at the houses and businesses you passed by. You were selfish, weren't you? Some pig that deserved to rot. Maybe your parents were right—

"(Y/N)?"

Your head snapped to look at him. He looked serious.

"You have that look on your face."

"What look?"

"Like you're ashamed of something."

Like being punched in the gut, your face twisted up, and you quickly looked away. There were some things about Kieran that you had a love/hate relationship with. His ability to read you was one of them. He always hit the nail straight on the head and he never pulled back his punches. You felt his eyes burning into the side of your head and he sighed.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" he asked, his voice so gentle, you almost believed you were made out of glass. "You don't have to tell me, but I am here for you, Котик."

"...I just feel like a bad person sometimes."

His hand shifted and his fingers found yours, holding your hand tightly. When he spoke, he sounded pained, as if he was taking on all of your burdens onto his shoulders. "Do you think I would have fallen in love with a bad person?"

"Well, no--"

"So why do you think you're a bad person?" he took a deep breath. "Out of all the people in school, you were the only one who didn't bully or treat me differently because of where I came from. You were the only one who stood up for me when I was targeted by assholes. Every day, you worked so hard, and even when you had bad days, you never took it out on someone else."

Kieran sounded so sincere. He was devout as if he was speaking to a goddess, not just a random woman he decided to make his wife. Your throat closed up and he quickly brought your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles and mumbling sweetly against them.

"You feel like a bad person. That doesn't make you one."

You knew what he was saying. Emotions weren't a fact and they didn't make things true. As someone who was studying the brain and human behaviors just for your future job, you knew that you couldn't count your emotions as a judgment of your character. But that was hard. It was hard to like yourself when you had such... nasty selfish thoughts sometimes. You gnawed on your bottom lip and glanced at him.

"...thank you."

"Always, my Котик."

He switched the radio station to some light-hearted music right after. The hand that held yours only left when he had to turn, but quickly grabbed yours again. His pep talk did make you feel a little better but you weren't out of the woods entirely. Guilt continued to look over your shoulders with a suffocating glare, burning holes into the back of your head, staring down every selfish that you've ever had.

Just think about something else. That has to be easier than that.

You let your brain wander to more serious topics. There had been gang activity recently, right? At least that was what you heard recently. From the cashier lady mentioning kidnappings, and some people at the university talking about gangs, and then now there were the three murders; the idea didn't seem so far off.

It was even more odd when you thought about how Kieran has been coming home hurt. Now, you didn't expect him to be in a gang, you didn't think someone like him had enough 'teamwork' in him to do that. But what if he was in danger? Or stuck in something he didn't know how to get out of? What if he was being threatened by someone? You examined the cut on his cheek. It was healing but it was a little red around the edges, a little tender. It'd probably ache if you touched it. He didn't have a black eye so it wasn't like he got it from being punched.

It could have been an accident. Maybe I am overthinking it.

It was just odd to think about. All these started happening around the same time he started coming home with busted knuckles and cuts. You couldn't be the only person who thought that was odd, right? You chewed on the edge of your tongue and debated on egging on a conversation to see his reaction. But what if it backfired? You weren't sure what you'd do if you found out he was involved with something dangerous. Obviously, you'd confide in the police, that's a no-brainer.

Then there was the issue of if he was involved personally without being threatened. No, no. There was no possible way that he was involved like that. Kieran was violent at times, but he was only violent to people who deserved it, people who harmed you or others. He wouldn't go out of his way to do crime. He wouldn't do it even if it was in the way. He preferred peace over stupid chaos.

Clearing your throat, you decided to bring up a small conversation. Just to see his reaction. That was all.

"You know, now that I am thinking about it, what if it's a gang or something? A sweet cashier at the store mentioned kidnappings to me when I was leaving and others at Uni have talked about gangs. Plus three murders just found out of nowhere? Isn't that a little odd to you?"

He pulled down a highway that led straight to the city. He took a second before he responded. "I don't know, I haven't heard much about it. Though I can tell that you're worried about it."

"Well, I'm not worried, it's just..."

"It's okay to be interested in something. Especially since it happened close." Kieran let his arm rest in his lap and grabbed the steering wheel from below. The sigh that dragged from his lips was relaxed, his eyes focused ahead on the highway. "I'm just worried you'll get hooked on this and make yourself paranoid. You did that once with a crime documentary when we were dating in high school."

"I won't make myself paranoid!" you retorted, "plus that was a long time ago."

Kieran chuckled. "True."

"You just have to be cautious! It could be something worse than a gang."

He raised an eyebrow and glanced over. He looked skeptical, as if he was trying to read your mind and had a gut feeling whatever you were thinking of wasn't plausible at all. "And what's worse than a gang of criminals?"

"Uh, like, the mafia?"

"Mmm. You think there's a mafia family on the outskirts of the city where we live?" he asked. Turning the blinker on, he turned onto another road. "And that they killed three people and left their bodies on the side of the road?"

"I mean, it could happen!" you rebuked.

The car stopped at a red light, leaving him asking, "And you're thinking about the Italian mafia?"

"Well any type of mafia! Like the.. American mafia.. or something!"

Kieran looked at you like you grew two heads. "I think, Котик, you've been reading too many articles online. A gang would be more likely than the mafia. Wouldn't the mafia hide all evidence, not leave it out? Like the movies, you know."

Well, when he put it like that, you almost did sound crazy. The mafia sounded a lot more serious than gang rivalries or debts in your head. From all the movies you showed, the mafia always seemed clean and cut to the T with how they did things. Movies weren't real life but you knew that men with debt weren't the same as criminals who happened to be business men.

"The police will catch them," Kieran comforted, "I just pray you don't start playing detective. Gang or not, I don't want you getting too swamped up in something dangerous."

"Of course I won't. I'm not an idiot who wants to throw away their life."

The conversation didn't continue much after that. The air seemed awkward, but only for you, as he started humming and bobbing his head to the music as he drove. There was a small smile on his lips. Whatever he was thinking about, it wasn't about murder or gangs, because he looked so cheery that it almost reminded you of a giggly high schooler. There was no reason for you to ruin his bad mood. You trusted him enough to tell you if he was in something dangerous like that. Ha, how funny. You could trust him over that, but had a hard time trusting if he was cheating on you or not.

Why, didn't that say a lot about you, didn't it?

You leaned your head against the window and closed your eyes. The car was warm, the glass was cold, and his hand was perfect in yours. Danny would be shocked to hear that you married Kieran. None of your high school friends were invited to your wedding since it was strictly family and you doubted he heard about it, especially since he was away on the other side of the country when Kieran proposed. You couldn't wait to see his face.

There were some parts of you that wanted to dwell on the bad. Thinking about the good made you anxious, as if something bad would happen and ruin everything. You wanted to be prepared—but what would happen? The two of you were just going out to lunch to meet an old high school friend. Kieran's pep talk made you feel a little bit better about yourself too.

But should you feel better about yourself? That didn't change the selfish thoughts you had earlier. Feeling excited he'd stay home with you more just because something bad happened to other people. Of course, you weren't happy something bad happened to anyone, but you were crude enough to have a sliver of excitement in a bad situation.

Just don't think about it, you thought. Think about it later. Just enjoy your time now. Stop self sabotaging.

The GPS signaled for the car to turn left and beeped when it arrived at its destination. Luckily for you, it didn't seem to be packed with people, and you were glad that Danny scheduled for the meet up to be at a time that wasn't close to rush hour or after work hours.

The car pulled into the parking lot beside the restaurant. You glanced at the city line that wasn't far away, the skyscrapers stretching up to the clouds, and the distant plane that carved through the clouds. You popped out of the car and shut the door behind you. The restaurant you were going to was three stories tall, each floor with seating. There were a couple of people on the balconies eating and you debated on how insane they were to eat out in the middle of winter. At least it wasn't snowing today.

Anxiety started to jitter your bones and you already began to blame it on the cold. Every second was another second your brain would bounce between thoughts, not giving you enough chance to breathe. One moment you felt excited, then guilty, then worried, and now you were anxious. Why? You weren't anxious before? So why did you suddenly want to throw up?

Kieran stepped out of the car, locked it, and held out his hand. You noticed the healing scabs from his busted knuckles and the scratches over the top of his hand. Nonetheless, you took his hand and intertwined his fingers with yours. He noticed your anxiety and tilted his head. "Are you having mean thoughts again?"

"No, no, just... normal stuff."

His hand squeezed yours and pulled you into his embrace. He kissed the crown of your forehead and his breath tickled. In his normal fashion, he said, "I'll be with you. If you want to leave at any time, just tap my leg, mmkay?"

You nodded. Times lately hadn't been the greatest, but you were grateful for this one good day. For once in a long time, Kieran was in a good mood and all your worries seemed to fade away when he held you.

"Be nice to Danny," you teased, "we haven't seen him in ages."

Kieran shrugged with his signature, charming grin. You gave him a look and he snorted, saying, "I'll try my best."

You had a gut feeling that he wouldn't try his best. Not at all.

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LINKS:

— Discord Server

— Wattpad

— Quotev

[ P.5 ]

[frickingnerd]

love triangle with midoriya & bakugou

pairing: izuku midoriya x gn!reader x katsuki bakugou

tags: childhood friend!reader, childhood friends to lovers, first love/puppy love, rivalry between the boys, slowburn romance

izuku, katsuki and you were childhood friends and you were the first love of both of the boys!

looking back on it, you might be the reason why bakugou hates midoriya so much. after all, he was always incredibly jealous of the green haired boy, who you got along with so well…

during your childhood, bakugou always teased and made fun of izuku, just to look better in front of you! yet every time you protected that damn nerd, bakugou only grew more frustrated

and so, slowly things changed. instead of izuku, bakugou began to bully you! he hoped that if he just told himself he hated you, he could get over his stupid crush on you… but it never worked.

the small and scared little izuku grew up to not only be the boy who protected you from katsuki's bullying, but he also became a hero student at UA alongside katsuki and yourself!

no matter where, the three of you always ended up together, whether you wanted to or not! katsuki could never quite escape you or his feelings for you

and while izuku was awkward and nervous at first, his feelings for you grew stronger over time and with some new gained confidence thanks to his quirk, he became more direct towards you

everyone in class 1A knew that izuku and katsuki were in love with you! everyone but you, it seemed…

the boys were always bickering and fighting with each other, often due to their mutual attraction for you, but you never seemed to realize that you were the reason!

[lustlovehart]

Hi! It's me again, I was wondering after recalling some stuff about reader and Rollo how would the twst monster cast react to Reader, I don't know, them asking about the earring she's always wearing and her telling them is from her partner (house husband). I mean, I know they'd react hella jealous but in different ways.

I know is annoying buuuut I like to imagine a what if, instead of going all alone towards the missions, Crowley allowed Rollo to accompany her and meeting all this creatures and Rollo being the bad (hater) policeman and Reader the (extremely) good one.

I'm sorry for asking so much Rollo 😭😭 it's just that he's so silly!

I love your works sooo much! And also how you draw the M!cast, they're all so pretty!! Love love 🫶

Cw: Jealousy, Marking mentions, gaslighting, Obsession, Rollo torturing Epel at the end

Omg! What a coincidence getting this ask after just writing a jealousy prompt in my inbox 😭

I’ve made it pretty consistent that you’re always referencing Rollo some way in your daily life. So I love making characters hear his name once a week and twitch their eye(s) at his mention. But for the most part, they all do act jealous!

The Pouty/Angry jealous: Riddle, Ace, Ruggie, Floyd, Rook, Epel, Malleus, Sebek, Skully

Whenever you mention Rollo’s name, they’re quick to cross their arms, possibly even give you a stink eye. They’ll ask you what’s so great about this ‘work husband’, he did make you do this alone. If he really cared, he would’ve came with you right? He might’ve cared for you at the foundation, but now he just threw you to the dangers of the world. They would never do that to you… So stop talking about him already.

The Sad jealous: Deuce, Cater, Jack, Azul, Kalim, Rook, Idia, Malleus, Silver, Neige, Fellow, Skully

The moment they see the way your face lights up looking at that star pattern fabric in your hand, they feel something. For some of them, it’s guilt, they can’t give you what he can, so maybe… he’s the better option for you than they are (Deuce, Jack, Silver, Neige, Skully). For others, they’re sad at the feeling of envy in their heart. It’s really not fair… This Rollo, gets to see everything side of you, your happiest, your saddest, your angriest, even your dearest. They want to see it too… Won’t you let them?

The ‘I’m just gonna leave my mark on you too’: Trey, Leona, Floyd, Jade, Jamil, Vil, Rook, Malleus, Lilia, Neige, Chenya

So, he gives you that earring. You won’t take it off. Ok. Easy fix, they’ll do something much more obvious. Whether it’s wrapping you in themselves, drawing a symbol of their soul on you, adorning you in their clothes/feathers, or even simply using their mouths, they’ll be more seen. He hopes if when you return to him, Rollo sees this mark.

Why be jealous when murder is a capability: Malleus

I hope everyone noticed he’s in each section, and he does go through these in the exact same order. Essentially, Rollo’s house sees no mercy, nor does his garden, or himself when he steps foot outside. Lightning… everywhere. Rollo get’s a certain sense of who it’s from, and he has to be physically stopped by Crowley from leaving to find you.

LMAO I love the Good cop bad cop energy Rollo and Reader would have if they went out together. Rollo is essentially the overprotective third wheel who blocks any potential suitors from you.

Anytime you’re nice to them, it’s immediately cancelled out by Rollo doing something devious.

An example:

You: Letting Epel drink your blood for like 2 minutes.

Rollo: Stabs him through the heart with a stake, Throws garlic at him, touches him with a silver fork, leaves him in the sun, places crosses on him, and dumps holy water on him. But places a really worn down bandaid on it because you’d be upset at him. He dgaf abt Epel 💀

Bonus: Rollo and Reader Dynamic

Synopsis: Absolutely smitten with you, and everyone else hates it 💀

[delulustateofmind]

TW: Older Professor Yandere x College Student Reader, Abuse of Power, Spanking, Fingering, Manipulation, Infidelity. MDNI

A/n: This could be awful, but the brain worms in my hungover little noggin were munching away at this idea. Also, I thought dead dove was a universal term last night, and I had to (mortifyingly) explain what it meant to my friends 👍 and I feel like I definitely overexplained it. Enjoy!

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Thinking about controversial older yanderes... Like a professor in his 40s, married, with a couple of kids. You know the type. The kind who’s got everything—tenure, three published books, a whole career built on being the guy everyone respects. The guy who should really know better.

But then there’s you. Poor little nineteen-year-old you, sitting in the front row of his lecture hall, looking up at him with those big, wide, puppy-dog eyes. It’s barely the first day, and you’re already turning to the person next to you, asking if he’s going to go over the syllabus. He’s not. That’s something you should figure out on your own. But the way you looked so lost and helpless—God, it just did something to him.

He knows it’s wrong. He’s married. He has kids. A reputation to uphold. So why can’t he stop thinking about how you’d look with those pretty lips of yours wrapped around his cock? Why is he willing to risk everything he’s worked for just to have you?

It starts small. He tells himself it’s harmless. He watches you, admires the way you fumble through class. But it’s not enough. He’s always been a man who takes what he wants. So, when you turn in your first big paper, he decides to take matters into his own hands.

“AI-generated,” he says, shaking his head like it pains him. “I’m sorry, but I can’t accept this.”

You’re a mess, practically in tears, insisting you worked so hard on it. You did. Hours, maybe days of effort, all for him to dismiss it in one breath. But he just sits there, palms pressed together like he’s some kind of saint, telling you his hands are tied. “It’s academic integrity,” he says, like he’s not already imagining you on your knees.

You’re begging him for another chance. And, well, he’s a reasonable guy. Of course, he’ll help. “Why don’t you assist me with my research?” he offers. “It’s a great experience. We’ll get that grade sorted out.”

So, there you are. Alone with him in his lab most days, where his hands are always just a little too familiar. Brushing your hip as you reach for a chemical or guiding your hand over the keyboard when you “mess up” the data entry. And when he loosens the cap on a reagent just enough for it to spill, you’re flustered, stripping out of your stained clothes while he promises he’s not looking.

Except, of course, he is. His phone is propped up on the desk, recording every second. For “security reasons,” he says, but the truth is obvious.

You just keep messing up, though. The numbers are wrong, the experiments fail, the code has errors. Every mistake adds up until he finally sighs, exasperated. “I really hate to do this,” he says, sitting you down like a child about to be scolded. “But I think we need to address this another way.”

Next thing you know, you’re over his lap, his rough hand spanking your ass while his fingers slide into your dripping cunt. “You don’t want an academic violation on your record, do you?” he murmurs, voice low, while you sob out apologies. “I’m so sorry! It won’t happen again!”

The slick sounds of your body betray you, loud and lewd as he works you to your first orgasm. His hand is soaked, his palm stinging from the impact of spanking you. And he can’t help but notice how tight you are, tighter than anything he’s felt since his wife’s virginity all those years ago.

By the time he lets you up, your legs are shaky, your thighs sticky with slick. He’s already thinking about what he’ll do next time—because there will be a next time. You’ll be in his office tomorrow, lips wrapped around his cock like he imagined on that very first day.

Maybe, if you’re good, he’ll bump your grade up to an A. Or maybe he’ll fail you, just to make sure you stick around next semester. After all, who are they going to believe? A beloved tenured professor—or a naive little college freshman who can’t stop crying?

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Inspired by: Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Aizawa, Erwin

[rubywithecat]

JjK men love tropes and how you first meet them

A/n: Please note that this is just a fiction and my own opinion, so please feel free to skip if you find any discomfort in reading. Thank you for love and support ~<33

Gojo Satoru

(Colleagues)

-I first think of student-teacher trope but I personally feel like Gojo wouldn’t date a student (especially his student)

-He would likely to date a colleague or junior partner.

It all started when u were assigned with the strongest sorcerer, Satoru Gojo for your first mission since you graduated. You don’t know if you should feel lucky or doomed cuz the mission is guaranteed to be hard. Since you attended Kyoto school, you haven’t personally trained by Gojo and heard a lot abt how arrogant he is from your teacher, Utahime like how he bullied her back in sch. “So, ur the kid that they partnered me with?” He appeared from behind. You turned your back “Yeah. My name is y/n” you greeted formally. He didn’t even bother to greet back and told you to just stay behind him. You were really annoyed by him but it was not a good idea to make a sense here. You got injured from the mission but helped a lot for him to fight with your cursed technique and he was impressed. He visited you to your apartment, asking about injury. Your impression for him changed quite a bit of how thoughtful he is. Then, you go out a lot with him and started growing feelings for him like who could resist his charm. On the other hand, he couldn’t believe himself but he also fall in love with you without any reason as if he’s capable of love?

Geto Suguru

(Friends to lovers)

-I think he is likely to only date from inner circle so it’s whether you’re his friend or have mutual friends.

It was at your bff birthday party and you were lost in the big room. You bumped into Geto and he apologized, helping you get up. “Thanks” you awkwardly replied. “Im Geto Suguru” he broke the silence since you were starring at him for a couple of sec. “Oh, I’m y/n. I’ve heard abt you from (ur fri name)” you replied, giggling. He smiled at your laughter. “I bet she wouldn’t tell good things, right?” He said and you guys chatted a lot that it was like an hour. “Hey y/n!” Your bff yelled as she saw you from the crowd and made her way to you and noticed someone beside u “Oh Geto! I thought you didn’t come!” She hit his shoulder. “I almost go back home of how boring your party is” he sarcastically replied which made her rolled her eyes. “Stop being an ass, Geto. Were you chatting with y/n?” Your bff side eyed him. He chuckled “Well, see you guys later. I just saw Gojo” he suddenly blushed and made his way out, saying small goodbye to you. You grabbed nearby drink and took a sip, looking at his way “U didn’t tell your childhood fri is cute” you said to your fri. “He’s all yours” your bff smirked at you and the rest of the night, enjoyed the party. The next day, you got his social acc from your bff and added him. You guys started talking and formed a friendship. U wanted more but didn’t wanna ruin the newly built friendship so as he too. But when the third party got involved, everything changed and jealousy grew into more and then he confessed to you finally.

Toji Fushiguru

(Second chance)

-This man would very likely to mess up in a relationship so it wouldn’t work out at first and you break up with him.

Even tho your clan doesn’t agree you with him cuz he doesn’t have cursed energy and is disgrace in jujutsu world, you fought for him and he messed up, letting you go. You were emotionally so hurt and heart-broken when he handed you to your brother back, taking the deal money. That was the biggest betrayal he made. How could he? Besides, Toji had always been selfish and wanted to keep you by his side but he has to give up on you to protect you and he know he couldn’t provide a good life to you so he just thought it would be better to make you hate him and just watching you happy from afar. He thought he would be fine but he isn’t. He couldn’t sleep nor focus on other things and his mind is always on you and memories. When he heard that you are forced to marry to another clan leader, he couldn’t do it anymore and fought for you back, this time harder.

Nanami Kento

(Love at first sight)

-He doesn’t believe in love or he is too busy to think about love. But when he saw you for the first time, he felt a strange but nervous feeling and his heart started to beat faster. Does it called love?

He was watching sunset from his apartment when he saw a girl with her friends, laughing and talking. Your beauty is unmatched and even the sunset he admired doesn’t compare it. It happened so fast that he doesn’t realize he was looking at your movements without even batting an eye. Then, you disappeared and he thought that’s it. Even tho there are several beautiful women who are throwing themselves to him, he doesn’t even bother to look at them. But how could you bewitch him? The next day, he tried his best not to think about the event anymore and went to work and then he saw you when he grabbed a coffee. You worked there. “What would you like to order, sir?” Your sweet voice sounded so good to him. The next day, he always come to visit you and you guys got close to each other and the relationship grows into smtg more.

——

——

[mads-hemmo]

It’s Nice to Have A Friend - Jschlatt

Part 1

Reader has been lonely their whole life. They have never been in a relationship. They don’t understand why no one will love them but their best friend, Schlatt has always been in love with them.

From a young age, you have always been a hopeless romantic. Your favorite content always revolves around romance of some sort. You even have had your wedding planned since you went to your first wedding at merely six years old. Your plans are forever cemented on a Pinterest board that you continue to add to about monthly. I mean your taste has changed since 2015, but some things still remain true.

The only problem is that you haven’t got to experience romance yourself. At the ripe old age of 25, you have never been in a relationship. You have had your first kiss, but it wasn’t magical. You only did it because you hated being the college kid who had never kissed anyone. You slightly regret it, but at least it was out of the way.

The only good thing is that at least you have a best friend who you made a marriage pact with. You and your best friend Schlatt, met in middle school. When you were both sad and single in high school, you made a pact that if neither of you were married by 40, you would get married. It was just a silly thing that you both constantly laugh about.

When you met Schlatt in middle school, the two of you immediately hit it off. You saw Schlatt sitting by himself one day and decided to sit by him. You had a few classes with him and thought he seemed like a cool dude. At first he acted like he wanted to be alone, but you learned soon after that he really didn't have many friends. The two of you learned you had a lot in common. You both loved Nintendo, especially Mario Kart as well as computer games.

The one difference is you loved all things romance whereas Schlatt only cared about gaming and baseball. The really fucked up thing about the universe is that Schlatt has had multiple relationships while you remain single. His relationships usually never lasted, but it was still strange. The universe also made you bisexual and you still somehow manage to be lonely. But at least you had your best friend, Schlatt and that stupid marriage pact.

The hardest moment for you was when Schlatt decided to move to Austin, Texas. It was the longest and farthest apart you have ever been from each other. You knew it was good for career and would help him grow his channel, but it sucked being apart for so long. Thankfully, Schlatt made the decision to come back home to New York. When he came back, it was like nothing changed. You had your best friend back and nothing could make you happier.

Most of your nights lately have been spent hanging out at Schlatt’s apartment playing Mario Kart like you did as kids. Tonight was no different. Schlatt was playing as a Villager and you were playing as Cat Peach. “I tried downloading Tinder again,” you say, randomly.

“Why?” Schlatt asked, his eyes located on the screen.

“Maybe there’s someone new. We live in New York. Who knows who might have moved here? Maybe my soulmates!”

“Toots, how many times do I have to tell you? One, your soulmate is not going to be on tinder and two, you’re better off with a true New Yorker than some new kid that wants to make it on broadway or some shit.”

You sigh. “Oh my god, but imagine they are on broadway! You know my love for musical theatre! Maybe we need to go watch a show. The lead being so into their part locks eyes with me and we realize we are truly in love like the characters on the stage.”

Schlatt lets out a small laugh while rolling his eyes. “You are ridiculous, (Y/N),” he says, looking at you.

“You’re just mad that I’m kicking your ass right now.”

“You wish, Fucker,” he says, his competitive spirit coming back.

The two of you continue playing until you both decide you're hungry, so Schlatt orders pizza from your favorite place. “You staying the night?” Schlatt asks, grabbing the Bénédictine bottle and a few solo cups.

“Might as well. It’s the weekend after all,” you say, pouring the liquor into your cup.

“The guest room is always open for you. However, the cats have made it their own, so they might sleep with you.”

“It would be nice to have someone or something laying beside me even if it is just cats. I did always say I was going to be the crazy cat person, but the tables have seemed to turn,” you joke.

“I’m a very proud cat dad. They make great content and the ladies love them,” Schlatt says, moving his eyebrows.

You laugh at him. You miss the way his smiles grow with each laugh that leaves your mouth. “Did I tell you I started a new hobby?” You ask him.

“No? How do you have the time to have another hobby? What happened to crocheting or reading or shipping random men together?”

“I’m still doing all those things and I ship people of all genders. Anyways, I started coloring.”

“Coloring? Like with crayons?” He asks, not in a malicious way, but with genuine curiosity.

“No, with alcohol markers and white gel pens to add highlights. I saw it on TikTok of course and it’s been really fun. It’s also very stress relieving.”

“Can I see some of your finished work?” He asks, his eyes not breaking contact with yours.

“Oh yeah, sure,” you say, pulling your phone out. Sometimes you find it strange how Schlatt actually cares about your hobbies and various interests. He never makes you feel bad about it. He just lightly teases you, but you know that’s just how he is.

Schlatt looks at the pictures you took of the pages you have colored. “Awe I love the little kitty. They are cute! This is really impressive, Toots. It looks like you printed these out. Maybe next time you come over, you should bring your markers and we can color together. Mine won’t be near as good as yours, but I bet it would be fun,” Schlatt says.

You hold your pinky out and Schlatt wraps his around yours. “I’m holding you to that, Big Guy.”

“You know I’d never break a pinky promise. You bring the markers and I’ll bring the Bénédictine.” The marriage pact was formed on a pinky promise and that makes your heart feel warm.

You hear the doorbell ring and realize that your pinkies are still connected. You quickly get up to go answer the door. You see a very handsome man holding the pizza boxes. “Here’s your pizza,” he says. “It’s not everyday that I deliver to someone so pretty.” He winks at you.

“You’re too nice. Hold on, let me grab your tip,” you smile, turning around. You see Schlatt and he hands you a ten dollar bill. “Thank you.”

“Sorry I didn’t realize you had a boyfriend. I couldn’t have flirted with you if I knew,” the guy apologizes.

“He’s not-“ you start.

“Don’t worry about it, dude,” Schlatt says, grabbing the pizza and handing him the money. “Have a good night.” Schlatt closes the door. He goes to the kitchen to grab plates before coming back to the living room.

“What was that?” You ask him.

“What? I just finished what you were going to say. That guy also was probably a high schooler.”

You just decide to not push it any further, knowing that Schlatt is probably right. “What movie do you want to watch?” You ask.

“As long as it’s not a musical, I don’t care what we watch. I recommend Tokyo Drift, but you’re the guest,” Schlatt says, with a piece of pizza in his mouth.

“We can watch Tokyo Drift. It’s been awhile since you picked the movie.”

Schlatt smiles at you. “Thanks Bub.” He puts the movie on.

It doesn’t take long for you to pass out. Schlatt knew it was inevitable. You usually fall asleep during a film and with liquor and pizza on your belly, it’s no surprise when he hears your soft snores. Your head makes its way on Schlatt’s shoulders. He smiles at you and he feels his heart start to race. He wishes you weren’t so hard on yourself and saw how amazing you were.

After about twenty minutes, he realized that you were pretty much out. Instead of having you sleep on the couch, he gently picks you up, bridal style and carries you to the guest bedroom. He carefully lays you down and places the blanket over you. He watches in awe as jambo cuddles beside you. When he knows you’re definitely asleep, he kisses your forehead. “I love you. Sleep tight, Toots,” he says, cleaning up the living room before going to his bed. Schlatt wishes you were laying beside him. He would hold you tight and never let you ever think you were incapable of being loved. He falls asleep, happy with the fact that you are asleep in his house and not with someone who doesn’t deserve you.

A/N: yay!! New fic!! Thank you to 🍓 anon, and everyone else who suggested this req!! Hope you enjoy the first part. Sorry I’m posting this in the middle of the night! Let me know what you know!!

[coffins-and-marbles]

Hey OP what are your trans Wilson headcanons? I want them from everyone ever

i love trans wilson forever so this might be a bit long!

wilson hates that he is trans, hates mentioning it or thinking about it and never brings it up if there's literally any other option

he realised he was trans super young (like 12?) but didn't know the terminology and was too scared of being further ostracized (autistic wilson, my no1 headcanon) so he just kept to himself and thought of himself as a butch lesbian in order to feel less guilty (this was a secret too, but he felt like being attracted to girls since he knew he was a guy deep down was better and more Straight...)

coming out to his parents was an absolute mess, we never see them in the show so i make them terrible in my mind for angst opportunities! and i agree that only Danny understood immediately -he already knows what it's like not to fit in. it's a big part of why he never sees his family (they tried some conversion stuff, he feels too guilty to be angry) it all plays into his constant attempts to be this Perfect Guy

as a child he always wanted to wear a suit and work a 9-5 (it was his heavily gender stereotyped idea of masculinity)

i personally think he's he/him exclusively because it makes him feel more Normal

he got top surgery and phallo ASAP because his dysphoria was terrible, he cried and had panic attacks whenever he had to shower etc (he also abused his binder to hell and back as well as trying to diy it as a kid by layering sports bras and guys DONT DO THAT)

there was a small complication with the phallo and although it was fixable it set him back like three months and he hardly left the house and cried just all day

he just literally makes every effort to appear like he was born AMAB and genuinely felt too ashamed to like blow dry his hair for years in case he was seen as feminine

house immediately clocks it because of some stupidly obscure house reason but it's not interesting enough for him to care.

house is the only one at PTTH who knows

when hilson happens house watches wilson do his t shots a couple times and just is unreasonably horny about the whole thing then they both discover forcemasc and...lets just say they have fun with it...

wilson and house feel more confident to undress at the beach with eachother because hey they both have scars

wilson still gets randomly dysphoric about the stupidest things ("house do you think my left eyebrow looks too feminine") and house uses the power of his usual sarcasm to dispel any doubts ("wilson that is the stupidest thing anybody's said ever")

okay ill stop now but when i say i could go on for pages i mean it!!!! i wrote this quickly in the morning because i dont have set headcanons usually i just go with the vibes but uhm...enjoy!!

[jjkthrow]

Who would be most compatible with a sub, brat, switch, or dom? For which ever men you want

18+ Minors DNI

Ino: vanilla. A bit insecure so uncomfortable as a dom a lot of “is this ok?” A bit endearing really. Being a sub just makes him feel lesser in general “do you really think that about me?” Has a hard time keeping it just in the bedroom, and will assume you always think of him as submissive if he subs, or that he sees you as subservient if he doms. Good boyfriend likes you to both feel equal.

Gojo: Bratty switch. The biggest brat actually. If he’s subbing don’t expect him to serve you without him jabbing a comment “is this the best you got?” “Aw is my pretty lady tired?” Better put that mouth to use. will gladly take over if you give him the opportunity but sees it more as you admitting defeat. Maybe not the healthiest dom/sub will definitely chide “well you’re the one on you’re knees for me, begging for my cock last night” fastest way to put him in his place is not letting him cum or touch himself. Doesn’t love a cockcage but it gets him to shut up, and prevents him from touching himself when your back is turned. If he hates being teased of course he will use that against you as well. When he’s dominant absolutely goes to his ego to hear you whimper or gag, but does have a safe word in place and a discussion about boundaries prior. When Satoru doms he loves edging you as long as he can, then overstimulating you beyond belief. He cums first, hunts down his own orgasm, but if he can’t make you cum he feels he hasn’t done his job. Needs it for his self security. How will he gloat and brag if he can’t make his girl cum? However he’s not above pulling you into a closet for a quickie and tell you he “owes you later” partially because he’s selfish, but also to keep you thinking about it the rest of the day. Big into touching you, just to rub it in your face that he hasn’t even fucked you yet. Loves to come in your mouth or all over you and get you messy, say he’s staking his claim. Thinks it’s sexy if you fall asleep nasty like that but won’t mention that part. Less assertive and more purring “why don’t you come take care of this for me.” Or “face down, you’ve been so bad” his biggest thing is making you wait, a sort of payback for making him wait. Might tie you up and leave you like that for a bit while he reads. If you’ve been particularly naughty will tape a vibrator to you and edge you on and off for what feels like hours. Screaming and crying in frustration and desperation. Loves to inspect you like you’re on display or an object “oh look how swollen, that must be some uncomfortable” if you’re being needy and overwhelming him, will make you cockwarm him and sit silently. Might not be the best at expressing his feelings but does want you to feel cared for in the end. It might just be in his own love language like touching his head to yours, bringing you a snack or holding you tight.

Geto: soft dom. Prefers a bratty sub who can keep up and play. However not opposed to a sub who’s insecure, he loves to build you up and praise you. Will make sure you know how much you mean to him and not belittle you. Not much into being dommed but won’t mind time to time if you have good chemistry, and trust that he can be vulnerable around you. Might still grab your hips and adjust the pace of his hands aren’t cuffed, even if he’s supposed to be subbing. Not every sex act you do is kinky and it’s laid back for him and not serious. Suguru has good etiquette, it stays strictly in the bedroom and he’s very careful and attentive about subdrop. Is secretly a bit possessive but won’t try to exercise control over you elsewhere. Doesn’t like to see you cry and gag. Likes his dominant roll to be more “look at me or get nothing” and “you can take it, good girl” maybe a little pain play such as biting, spanking, pushing the whole length in at one time so the stretch hurts a bit. Reads your face heavily, it’s about trust for him. Likes to hold his hand around your throat but not choke you, but will oblige if you’re into that. loves to hold you down or tie you up. Drag you back to him when you try to crawl away from overstimulation. Often very intimate if he’s in a relationship, fingers interlocked softly in juxtaposition as he rams into you, his other hand holding you down by your hair, or gripping your hips to make you keep his chosen tempo, shoving you down, forcing you to take the slowest but most brutal backshots. Prefers to cum inside you, but makes you beg for it, for him to breed you; though he doesn’t actually wish to get you pregnant and if you’re using a condom, it’s just for how sexy it sounds. Well he is technically cumming inside you. Just into a condom. Big on taking precautions and understanding the consequences of any actions. Doesn’t mind cleaning you up and the aftercare that comes with being a dom. Tries to hold off until you’ve had at least one orgasm.

Sukuna: DOM. Terrible etiquette. Wants total subserviency

Nanami: hmmm though I think he leans more towards vanilla personally, also enjoys to watch you get yourself off if he’s not in the mood, seeing you worked up over him while he lounges in a chair adjacent. Or when he comes home after a long day and you push him on the sofa and get on his lap, to start leaving hickeys down his neck and around his jaw. Doesn’t see this as dom/sub but just a more spicy sex life. Can be very strong in bed, will put you in a headlock and manhandle you but only if you absolutely beg him to. I mean pleading. Careful not to overexert you, usually leaving it to 1 to 1 for the orgasm score. Doesn’t have the stamina after that, you exhaust him. If you’re on top doing the work, likes to watch you with a soft open mouth smile. Holds back his moans and throws his head back instead, trying to break eye contact so he doesn’t choke out your name. Isn’t into anything particularly odd, and doesn’t love the idea of making you feel submissive to him, nor him to you. Likes a girl who’s a bit more freaky than him, but not self aware of that and is still very hesitant to partake in your fantasies.

[thaltro]

Hey, I analyze your bad guys design on TikTok awhile ago, so I really want to analyze the new design of Atrophy mostly on the color scheme you picked and little bit things I said before but add too it. The color looks so good! The white is really nice with the color green slime/goop that Atrophy is made out of, it makes him stand out. Which I believe that what he would want because he definitely has a complex on not being enough so a white suit will make him pop out from others. Also the base symbol of white is purity,innocence, and goodness everything Atrophy isn’t but something he was as a child(if we go by the canon were passive was the kindest person in the multiverse in his story). The mask thing is definitely stuck to his face no doubt about it.how you add the moon and sun theme is so genius, it a subtle detail were it reminds the audience that Atrophy will always be connected to dream and theirs au, even if he doesn’t want to be. Because the mask is stuck on there but I don’t think the tie is so even if Atrophy say he doesn’t want to be connected to dream deep down he does he always has/will/be connected to his brother whether he recognized it or not. The way you made the green more bright on him is great, the base green symbolism is New beginnings, peace, nature, harmony, jealousy, greed which only some those really apply here the New beginnings, jealousy, greed and nature (only a little bit on the nature because it connect him to his mother who became a tree). The new beginnings (him changing looks entirely, his name and like you can say his personality him now and when he was child)(also what goes to happen to him in this story) jealousy ( boy has been jealous since day one) and greed (and this might be a lot of a stretch but believed he deserves so much better so he make sure he has the most lavish things,items,clothes,food, he collections things he didn’t even like,hoarding it because he believe he deserves to have them, he was denied so much as a child so now he has the privilege to make sure no one get more than he had as a kid) even though he secretly hate himself so deeply. (I talk about this before but I promise I adding something new!) He named himself Atrophy because he sees himself as a waste/effectiveness but he rename himself even though nightmare have more villain definition being a frightening, unpleasant because he needs control over himself he needs to feel better about himself so he rename himself because it gives him control, he can’t be hurt when people call him Atrophy because he himself calls himself Atrophy. No one can hurt you as badly as you can yourself. That how I believe why Atrophy name himself Atrophy. Anyway I think this get long enough, I will be back! I can promise you that I’m so excited for your story and everything you have planned! Also I should add psychology has a lot matching colors as Atrophy so it says a lot about these two, maybe I’ll get psych (rubbing my hands evilly to gather) anyway bye bye have a good day or night wherever you’re at!sorry about how long this is and if my writing isn’t the best.

How the hell did you interpret all that accurately? /not mad

I haven’t even posted the webcomic and I have a lot of people send me really accurate interpretations of Atrophy, this one is really good.

Yk in nightwatch I wrote for atrophy not to be shown nuanced or sympathetic light until like mid act 2. Like he does HORRIBLE shit for the majority of the comic, I have to make a chart of content warnings just for his actions. If I ever garnered a small fandom around it I expected little to no analysis of him but I post one picture of him lol and I have like character design theory essays in my ask box.

You are very right on why he named himself, I love how you worded it too.

Atrophy is a hoarder for the exact reasons you mention, Atrophy tries to embody what he never had- power, wealth, and masculinity. Having trinkets and a large home are included in that. He hoards food too, he has an entire basement that he dedicates to non perishable food that he will never eat, as he can’t eat food. He doesn’t know why but it feels safe with it there.

You also noticed how psych and atrophy have color schemes similar, which is 100 percent intentional. All of the characters i directly parallel have similar color schemes. Atrophy and psych are Enemies but also the closest and most familiar to one another. To atrophy psych is just a mirror of himself, which creates a oddly hateful, dependent, and egotistical relationship with him.

The color symbolism especially the green symbolism is intentional. Atrophy is greedy, gluttonous, and jealous and I always associated that with green. He’s also supposed to resemble a wine bottle with his color palette- as a reference to his lavish lifestyle. The moon and sun motifs are in reference to his brother. It’s the only thing atrophy genuinely feels bad about.

I don’t know if I said this already but dream thinks his brother is dead, not in a metaphorical way in a genuine way where he hasn’t seen him in hundreds of years and was told he was murdered. Atrophy is aware his brother probably believes this, but thinks it’s best for them to never meet as he’s changed so much that him dying is not too far off from what he is now. But dream is always at the back of his mind, which is why he has a lot of motifs.

I love this analysis aughsh

Thank you

[your-unfriendlyghost]

Mason McCormick for the character thingy pls and thank you 🙏🙏🙏

Sweet, Mace! (Idk what my current design for him is but it looks like this rn lol)

How I feel about this character

  I like him! He’s a lot like Darry, but I find him more relatable because of the sarcasm lol. He’s had to grow up too fast, and he needs to get outta Oklahoma poor guy. I wanna give him…not a hug, but a pat on the back maybe. And a parental figure who’s significantly better than his father. I like Mason.   He’s like Darry if Darry got out. If Darry didn’t have Ponyboy, only Soda. If Darry didn’t have to stay so strong, I guess. Not that Mace isn’t strong, he’s hella strong. But idk, he did it. He got free and I’m sorta proud of him for that.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

No one really, but there’s no one his age he can really bounce off of in canon other than his buddy Robert Collins and I guess Lem. But he told Lem that he’d kill him if he ever saw him again, so…yeah, no, don’t think that’s gonna happen. If someone were to make a Mason x OC fic tho I’d probably read it even tho I don’t usually go for that kind of thing- idk I think I just wanna see Mason getting support and being happier lol

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Well, Tex, I guess. It feels like kind of an obvious answer, since their conflict is the story more or less, but idk. They’re brothers. They hate each other. They love each other. Mason needs independence, and Tex needs Mason. There’s no easy way out, and either way it’s gonna end sorta sadly. Not tragically like the Outsiders, but sadly. Bittersweetly. 

  “He’s my brother even if he ain’t your son.” ough. This line kills me in the best way.

My unpopular opinion about this character

  He ain’t super well known so all the opinions I have are unpopular kinda lol. I think he’s shy, though. Not around Tex, obviously (who’s shy around their little siblings?), but at school. He’s popular, even though he’s apparently not as good-looking as some less popular guys, and he’s cold towards people or at least cool. I think he seems stuck up, when really he’s shy. (Like how Bryon saw Ponyboy in TWTTIN)   He also seems kinda non-confrontational, maybe not outta shyness as much as…laziness? That’s not the right word exactly but I can’t think of a better one. But like how he didn’t warn Tex about having to sell Negrito, how he never once mentioned to Pop that he knew Tex wasn’t Pop’s son, how he wouldn’t tell Tex about why he was going to the hospital, and how he just lied about not wanting to go to the fair. (Ok that’s purely headcanon there. I think he wanted to go tho, or maybe he was lying to himself about not wanting to go.) I don’t think he likes delving into his thoughts about things if it takes too much effort, ig. 

  I also think he resents the fact that he’s from Bixby/Garyville (In the movie it’s Bixby, in the book it’s Garyville. Idk why.) and not Tulsa. There’s more opportunities in the city. I mean, Tex resents being seen as a country hick- I feel like Mason resents it just as much if not more. He likes being taken seriously.

Oh and idk if this counts as an unpopular opinion but I’m not that fond of the guy who played him in the movie. He did good, but he was not 18 istg. He was 31 and looked 31, which made it real hard to buy him as a stressed 18 year old. Not my Mason smh

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Idk, it woulda been nice to see him interact with his peers a bit more, like how we got to see Soda and Steve being friends in the bg of Outsiders…Then again, maybe he doesn’t have any friendships like that. I dunno if I do, so someone cold like Mason may not. He’s friends with Robert Collins tho, so that counts for something? 

[yanderes-galore]

Naruto Uzumaki romantic Headcanons if you please~😊

I'll try! I haven't finished Naruto but I think I have a good grasp on his character. Enough to give him general HCs at least.

Yandere! Naruto Uzumaki Concept

(General Concept - Shippuden Era)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Clingy behavior, Stalking, Delusional behavior, Fear of abandonment, Violence, Possessive behavior/Jealousy, May be canonically inaccurate, Kidnapping, Isolation, Biting, Forced relationship implied.

Naruto, like most protagonists or heroes, falls into the protective yandere category.

He has expressed a want to feel validation by his community.

He's also rather dedicated to saving people, even if they used to be foes or have become foes.

Hell, most of Shippuden he's trying to find ways to save Sasuke.

While Naruto is often loud and mischievous, he's very caring.

I imagine, towards a crush, Naruto is naive/childish.

He hasn't actually been in a relationship and spent most of his childhood hoping Sakura likes him.

So when he gets a new crush, he's still relatively new to the idea of actually being in a relationship.

Naruto is insecure about himself and his strength to protect at times.

That and he may also be nervous about his obsession not liking him.

Naruto's a sweetheart, don't get me wrong.

Although he tends to work extra hard to impress his obsession.

In his youth he was used to competing for attention.

Any attention was good attention, which is why he pulled all those pranks.

With his obsession, even when older, he still feels he has to compete to have your attention on him.

Which leads to some passive aggressive, if not hostile, moments with other people.

He's competitive in nature.

He was always like that when he was younger, especially with Sasuke.

Overall he's a competitive yet protective yandere that would do anything to be acknowledged by his crush.

Although, I'd also argue he can be possessive due to Kuruma.

A personal HC of mine is I think, due to him having the nine tails inside him, he expresses animalistic behavior when worked up.

I believe we actually see this in the show when he gets worked up, he ends up tapping into the fox's chakra.

So, imagine if he snaps, he does the same thing?

It could be anything from you getting hurt to someone taking you from him.

Maybe it involves the Akatsuki, or some other threat.

That or maybe it can happen on a smaller scale where his pupils change and he growls a bit when jealous?

Either way, times like those are terrifying because he can drop his restraint just enough to cause damage.

After he drives off someone he perceives as a threat, he no doubt has some blood on his clothes and skin.

Not only that but no one can pry you away from him once he latches on.

Naruto is dedicated to protecting since he's scared to lose you like he did with those closest to him.

There would be times when he defeated a foe or even multiple foes to protect you.

By the time someone found you two, Naruto would be tightly wrapped around you, growling at those who get too close.

It's hard to ignore those orange pupils of his, ones so much more animalistic and feral than his usual blue.

There's times when Naruto can be an animal when it comes to protecting you.

He's lost too many close to him and hates the idea of being alone.

It's natural he'd cling to you, right?

As I said before, Naruto would try to be sweet with you.

If someone else was hitting on you, he'd try to do it better.

Someone else giving you a gift? He can do it better!

Someone inviting you to hang out? Well, he's already made some plans!

Naruto may even be a bit delusional.

For example, if you invite him out to eat or train... He'd take it as a date.

He'd be so overjoyed, too.

You want to date him! Yes!

He's been waiting for so long.

Although, if you try to clarify later, he ends up giving you puppy eyes.

"What do you mean we aren't dating!?"

He'd be so distraught... he may even get you to attempt a date with him just to make him happy.

Naruto also seems like a very affectionate yandere.

He'd want to hug you and kiss you all the time, nuzzling into your neck whenever he sees you.

I can't help but think he bites, too... only when upset, though.

Would Naruto kill over you...?

... perhaps.

I think he'd only make any sort of attempt at that if they were a threat and were going to kill you.

Even then, he'll have to snap for that to happen.

He doesn't kill out of jealousy.

He more just ends up aggressive, growling at those too close like some sort of feral fox.

Would he kidnap?

If he's scared he'd lose you, I can see it.

He'd probably start by saying he's keeping you somewhere for your own safety...

But, surprise!

Now you're chained to a bed and he's already asking excitedly about dates or even marriage.

He's so delusional at times he doesn't realize you dislike the situation.

He's so busy cuddling you and "protecting" you that he doesn't realize you're scared.

That or he ignores it.

All Naruto wants is to be loved and protect the one he loves...

He'll do anything to have you all to himself...

If it means trapping you in a shared home to protect you... or if it means getting blood on his hands... he doesn't care as long as you're all his.

[scripts4dreamers]

Leave a light on pt. 4

AN: Aaaaaand we have part four! The next two chapters are a little shorter, but only because I'm ramping up to the Fade Jail thing. Hope you enjoy!

Part One, Part Two, Part Three One of the things Solas hated most about mortal bodies was hangovers. It was his own damn fault, of course. He could not reasonably expect anything else after drinking into the early hours of the morning with Amala but still he couldn’t help but feel sorry for himself as he sipped his coffee and tried to focus on the book he was reading. It was nearly noon, by his reckoning. He had woken an hour or two earlier feeling more hopeful for the future of his relationship - if that is what he and the inquisitor had - than he had in years and had started the process of going about his day. He could hear movement from Amala’s room, so he knew she was awake as well and he found himself anxiously waiting to see how she would behave when they saw one another again.

The night before had been…intense. Some parts were clearer than others. Solas was still admonishing himself for the way he handled some things but, amongst the chaos there had also been moments of tenderness, brief flashes of intimacy that burned like a fire whose embers had never truly gone out. She had looked him in the eye! He had touched her, held her, told her he loved her. It did not fix everything. The ghost of Varric, of Lace Harding, of Corypheus, of a thousand little deceptions still lay between them, but it was something. He hoped that they could build on that. In fact, he had a plan to ensure that they did.

“Good morning,” Amala greeted, as she always did, her hair still wet from the bath.

He looked up and smiled at her, feeling the familiar stab of regret when she let out an almost imperceptible sigh of relief. Every morning the routine was the same. She didn’t think he noticed or, if she did, she didn’t think he understood its significance, but he knew what that sigh meant. It meant that, just for a moment when she was walking down the hallway, some part of His Heart had been convinced that he wouldn’t be there, that he’d snuck away in the night and left her. Again.

It was a valid fear. He would be lying if he said he had not considered leaving, that he had not considered slipping away into the fade and freeing her from the blood soaked anchor that was tying her to this place, but he could never bring himself to do it. Not again. What had once felt like a selfless act, protecting her from the misuse he had suffered, now felt like the ultimate act of cowardice.

“Good morning, Vhenan. How are you feeling?”

“Ugh,” she complained, taking the seat beside him and stealing a strawberry from his plate, “Like death warmed up, you?”

“Better than Elgar’nan is feeling right now, but not by much,” he countered, pushing his plate closer towards her. Another part of their routine. “Do you have plans for the day?” he asked.

Her eyebrows shot up midway through her biting into a strawberry, a perfect picture of surprise.

“Um, no, I suppose not.” she said, “Do-did you want to do something together?”

Gods, he should have kissed her last night. He should be kissing her right now. If he just leaned forward he could pull her chair close and-

“You needn’t sound so surprised,” he laughed, “I merely thought we could visit that island you were telling me about last night.”

She perked up and his heart wanted to melt at how excited she looked, “The one with the bottomless pool?”

He nodded, “The one that is, what did you say exactly? Quite beautiful once you get past the Mythal of it all?”

She flushed, “I never said quite.”

“We do not have to go. We could stay here if you-”

“No,” she interrupted, “no, that would-I would like that very much.”

“Good,” Solas said with an internal breath of relief, “I’ll put together some provisions for us and we’ll leave as soon as you are ready.”

She nodded, still smiling to herself and they lapsed into comfortable silence as she finished her breakfast. At that point he knew reading was pointless, but he kept up the pretense so that she would feel comfortable. As soon as the last berry had been consumed she bounded back up the stairs to her chambers, and Solas couldn’t help but chuckle.

The walk to the island Amala had described was fairly daunting. Perhaps not to a highly trained assassin with years of experience balancing on rafters but for Solas, a mage who’s ribs had only just stopped actively hurting, it took a great deal of his concentration to navigate the intricate series of wooden planks, ropes and strategic jumps she had set up without plummeting into the ether. She tried her best to help him out but there was only so much she could do. It was worth it though. Not only was the island beautiful, but Solas had a legitimate reason to stare unabashedly at his Inquisitor as she did the thing she was best at. At one point Solas slipped and Amala grabbed his hand to keep him from falling. Once he was stable and she’d finished laughing at him, she’d laced their fingers together and they’d continued on their way, their joined hands swinging between them.The planks of wood could have been 3cm wide and no one would have caught Solas complaining.

Once they had made it to the main body of the island, Amala excitedly showed him some of her favorite places and they settled on a patch of thick, soft grass on the edge of the pool. Solas did remember this place. He and Felassan had spent many long afternoons sparring here, cooling off in the water and discussing their plans for the future and the things they would build together. His heart twinged. Oh, Felassan. Amala had also been right, there were a lot of statues of Mythal scattered around the place. He remembered those too.

They spoke about nothing of note for a while, reminiscing about their travels through the Hinterlands, swapping stories from their time in the fade and commiserating about how wrecked they both were after their night of drinking. It was so normal. It was almost perfect, but Solas could still feel the tension simmering just below the surface. He let it be for a time, settling down in the grass with his sketchbook while Amala tried her hand at scaling the crumbling walls. He traced the familiar lines of her body in charcoal, using his fingers to soften the edges and show her movement. There was something almost meditative about the process of seeing something, envisioning it on paper and then executing that vision. When he couldn’t describe the way he felt about something in words alone, he had found that he could usually depict it through his art, or through some combination of both. It was rare for him to go anywhere without a sketchbook. He had many full ones that he kept stored away to return to when he felt particularly nostalgic. He had burned many more.

Some amount of time must have passed, Solas was far too enraptured in his sketches to keep track of exactly how much, because when he looked back up, His Heart was naked. Alright, not quite, but before he had had the chance to process anything beyond the bareness of her stomach and the smooth line of her thighs, he had pointedly looked away, feeling the familiar lick of warm desire shoot through his stomach like an arrow.

Amala, who had removed her clothes in favor of a simple breast band and undershorts, laughed at his discomfort, though it wasn’t a truly mocking sound.

“Oh come now,” she teased, “I feel as though we’ve covered this already. Nothing you-”

“-haven’t seen before.” They finished in unison.

“It has been ten years, Vhenan,” he pointed out, “and you always did have a way of making me shy.”

She sat down at the water’s edge and slowly slipped in, making a sound of pleasure when the coolness hit her sun warmed skin that was so erotic that it bordered on torturous. She submerged her head under the water for a moment before popping up again and swimming over to the rocks near where he was sitting.

“Come swim,” she encouraged, “the water’s wonderful.”

“So I heard,” he said with a pointed look.

His instinct was to pull away, to politely decline and continue his drawings, but what was the point? Who did that instinct serve? So, instead, he got up with a sigh and started to remove his clothes, not bothering to fold them as they slowly came off, one piece at a time until he was only in his underclothes. Solas could feel her eyes on his back, tracing his spine, taking note of the places that were still tender and healing, cataloguing his new scars. He felt a slight twinge of insecurity, wondering what he must look like to her, if he measured up to her memories of their time together. He briefly felt the ghost of her hand brushing his stomach and sliding over his hips, but he pushed the feeling away and focussed on not twinging his ribs as he moved.

He slipped into the pool beside Amala, doing his best to look nonchalant and sighed with relief. The water really was magnificent. The water was also clear. Very clear. He had to fight to keep from staring at the flashes of Amala’s skin just beneath the surface. Her thighs were especially tempting. His mind helpfully providing him with the memory of just how soft they were beneath his palms, how her skin broke out in goosebumps when he ran his thumbs-

“Come, let me show you something,” he suggested quickly, crossing the pool in long, steady strokes.

There was a place, right beside the small, babbling waterfall, where the rocks formed a natural bench of sorts. It was long enough for several people and allowed them to sit in the water without needing to expend energy treading.

Amala gave him an impressed look, pulling herself onto the bench beside him and admiring the view it gave them “This is lovely. You must have come here often to remember it so well.”

“I did,” he admitted, “with Felassan. It had been so long since I had thought of it that I didn’t even remember until we arrived. It was part of a larger island that we used for training at the time.”

She hummed, shooting him a look out of the corner of her eye that told him she wanted to ask something. His chest tightened. His Inquisitor was a smart woman. She would have put it together by now that he and Felassan had been close. That Felassan had been an agent of Fen’Harel. That Felassan was not around anymore. He ought to just tell her. There was no sense in hiding from the truth, but still, Solas shrank away from the idea. Something of his discomfort must have shown on his face, because Amala let it go and changed tack.

“So, what prompted this little outing?” She asked, her tone forcibly light, “You haven’t asked to spend a day with me since we arrived here.”

“I was giving you space,” he replied, giving her a grateful look, “but after last night…well, I suppose the idea of space from you has simply lost its charm. Plus, I had things I wanted to say.”

She nudged his shoulder with her own, a small supportive gesture that had pulled him back from the edge more than once during their travels together. It said ‘I’m with you if you need me’. It said ‘you’re not alone here’.

“Then say them,” she suggested gently, “I’ll listen.”

They sat in silence for a while, just soaking in the sun and enjoying the simple joy of being together. Solas was painfully aware of her thigh pressed up against his, of the warmth of her body brushing against his bare arms. It was equal parts teasing and comfort in the way only Amala had ever been able to pull off, and the urge to wrap his arm around her side and pull her close was almost irresistible. He glanced up at the unseeing face of Mythal from where she perched eternal, watching over the pool. It would have felt poetic, he thought, to have a real, flesh and blood woman who loved him right under the eyes of a memory of one who did not. But that wasn’t why he had brought Amala here.

“Do you know why I pushed you away when we first met?” He eventually asked, “Why I fought so hard to deny what clearly existed between us?”

Amala shrugged, “Nonsense reasons, I suspect. Not wanting to lie to me and all that.”

He let out a huff of fond laughter and reached out hesitantly, a question in his eye. Amala nodded, letting him take her prosthetic hand in his and turn it over so that he could inspect the palm, “Amongst other reasons, it was because, at the time, you were channeling the power of a foci. My foci. Every time you closed a rift or brushed up against the fade, without knowing it, you were the foci of Fen’Harel. That could have given me power over you, undue power, undue influence. I feared that I would turn you into a tool in my crusade. Like I had done to so many others and like so many others had done to me. I would have had the best of intentions, of course, but it would have been cruelty all the same. I never wanted to use my power to shape you into something you did not wish to be.”

The prosthetic hand was a work of majesty. It was made of silverite and gold and seemed to be modeled off the old elven sentries that used to stand guard in Arlathan. As Solas ran his fingers along the intricate metalwork, he felt the familiar hum of Dorian’s magic. It made him smile. He should have known.

“I was never romantically involved with Mythal,” he continued, “I loved her. Deeply. I know she loved me the same, but it was…different then. The world was younger. The lines between things were not so severe, things defied definition more readily. At the time I felt like I belonged to her, belonged at her side. I did whatever she asked because she was my liege. She was the person I had chosen to follow, come what may, and we were never equals. I was her second-in-command, her guard dog. I excelled at the role.”

Amala nodded. She already knew all of this, but it was clear that he was building to something.

Solas continued, “I never wanted to become, for you, what Mythal became for me in the end. I wanted us to be equals.” he paused, feeling the familiar rush of shame and self-loathing flow through him, “I failed at that. I used you.”

She sighed, her metal hand giving his flesh and blood one a gentle squeeze as she looked up at the statue of Mythal, “People use people, Solas. It happens.”

He shook his head, staring at their interlocked hands “I-I will not attempt to explain away how I treated you. It was unjustifiable, but the point I was trying to make is…” he flushed, suddenly shy, “I am new to this. I have had very few romantic relationships considering how old I am, and the ones I did have happened in less than ideal circumstances so-” he forced himself to meet her eye and let out a breath, “I have no idea how to do this.”

“Do what?” Amla asked with a gentle, affectionate laugh.

Solas gestured vaguely, “This. Be in a normal, healthy relationship where no one is dying or planning a rebellion or deceiving the other person. When last we were together, I was always aware that one day I would have to leave you. Our relationship was always temporary-”

“Not that I knew that,” she pointed out.

He gave her a sheepish look and sighed, “I do not know how to build something with you with the intention of it lasting.” He admitted, “And I do want this to last. I want to do this properly.”

She was silent for a moment. He felt the ghosts that they had both been fighting to ignore rise between them again. Varric, Lace, Flissa, Corypheus, Haven, Redcliff, Adamant. A million moments of terror, of pain and confusion and sacrifice. Every lie by omission. Every betrayal. Ten long years of loneliness. There was so much to consider that Solas instinctively pushed it away, shoved his feelings down into a box in his heart that could be dealt with on some other day.

“Well, I’m not the world’s foremost expert or anything, but usually the people in the relationship know things about one another.” Amala eventually said with forced levity, clearly having made a similar choice to ignore the obvious.

He knew it was wrong. He knew this fragile, unspoken agreement to not have the fight wouldn’t last, that it would only fester and deepen the hurt on both sides but, in that moment, he was so grateful to her for it that it made him dizzy.

“We know things about one another.” he insisted.

“We know the big things,” she agreed, “we know we would die for each other, and the worst things that ever happened to us, and how much pain we can each take before we black out, but life was so chaotic when we met that we skipped over all the small things.”

The worst thing that had ever happened to Amala was a direct result of his actions, he reminded himself, feeling the familiar twisting pain of self-loathing in the pit of his stomach but, again, he pushed it away. He tried to focus on the day, on the sunlight and the cool water and the intoxicating brush of her skin against his. It partially worked.

He nodded, his brow furrowed with concentration as he redirected his attention back to the conversation, “Alright, I suppose I can see the truth in that. What sort of little things should we know?”

Amala shrugged with one shoulder, something playful in her eye, “Oh, I don’t know, anything really. Like, for example, earlier when you said it had been ten years…you meant since you’d seen me without my clothes on, right? Not since you’d seen anyone?”

The tension shattered. The ghosts faded.

Solas flushed, rolling his eyes with faux frustration, “I hardly think that’s relevant, Vhenan.”

Her mouth dropped open, “Solas. No, be serious now. It cannot have been a decade since you last…”

“I have had longer dry spells,” he admitted, “I spent a great deal of my life either at war with the Titans or leading a rebellion.”

“And here I thought battle was an aphrodisiac,” she replied.

“Back then everyone was immortal,” Solas reminded her, “everything felt less urgent. As for my recent…activities-”

“Or lack thereof.”

“Or lack thereof,” he agreed with a chuckle, “it held no appeal for me.”

She continued, sounding genuinely stunned, “I just-I can’t even-why?”

Solas felt his face warming under her scrutiny, but he wasn’t truly uncomfortable.

“What use did I have for desire?” he replied, “I was preoccupied with my plans, and besides,” he let his voice dip low, “it would be unfair of me to lay with someone when my heart and soul had been given to another.”

If he could bottle the look of fond exasperation and pride that that statement brought to Amala’s face and drink it like water, he would.

“I can think of some uses for desire,” she countered, letting her hand rest gently on his thigh beneath the water.

Her touch was light, teasing almost as she trailed her fingers slowly up. Solas felt like a teenage boy, his skin flushing as desire sank even deeper into the pit of his stomach. His mind, desperate for Amala in that way it always had been, eagerly provided him with the memory of what it felt like to flip her onto her back and pin her hands above her head. It reminded him of the way her voice would catch on his name when he slid his thigh between her legs and kissed down her neck, how her eyes would flutter shut even as she fought to keep them open when he-

He grabbed her hand with his own, slightly shaking one, “You’re playing a very dangerous game, Inquisitor.”

She held his gaze for a moment, her eyes flicking to take note of the tremor in his hand before she allowed the moment to pass. Solas let out a breath, grateful for the cold water.

“Alright, you were celibate for a decade” she said, simply, as though nothing had happened, “that is something I definitely did not know about you. Something to keep in mind.”

He snorted, “I assume you were not similarly restrained in your affections then.”

“Of course I wasn’t,” Amala replied, still chuckling, “I was alone! I had just saved the world and been dumped by a god, of course I wasn’t celibate.”

A completely fair and valid point, he reminded himself. A truth he had always assumed existed, and yet…he imagined his Inquisitor tangled up with some faceless person, her head thrown back in ecstasy as they kissed along the column of her throat, and felt jealous. It was surprising, in a way, and completely unsurprising in another way. He had always been a possessive man, prone to bouts of obsession and groomed for devotion. He did not like sharing the people he loved. At the same time, he had always assumed that Amala would eventually move on from what they had. In those first dark days after he had left the Inquisition, Solas would lie awake and imagine her slowly falling in love with someone new. He would imagine their first tentative kiss, the flowers they would buy her, the ring they would use to propose. He would imagine their house and their children, and the smile lines by His Heart’s eyes deepening throughout years of joyous, blissful matrimony and partnership. He would imagine himself fading from a wound, to a scar, to the ghost of an old memory and comfort himself with the idea that that was a sort of death, a sort of apology for a millennia of mistakes.

So, yes, in the greater scheme of things, his jealousy surprised him.

“Who was your first?” Amala asked curiously, “I had always assumed it was Mythal but…”

Solas scrunched his nose, banishing the thought of the faceless partner to the back of his mind, and replied, “Her name was Valina. She served Mythal, like I did. We were both new to having physical bodies and the desires and urges that came with them so it was…a learning experience, to put it mildly.”

She groaned sympathetically and nudged his shoulder with hers, “So not even the immortal can escape that core experience. Good to know.”

“And yours?”

“Leonid,” she answered, “we had just gotten our Vallaslin and we snuck away in the middle of the night. It was quick and fumbling and very sweet.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Solas replied gently, “you deserve sweetness.”

“So do you.” she countered, equally softly,

“Maybe someday,” he conceded, slightly uncomfortable with the idea as he stared out over the endless fade, “but right now my sins are too numerous for that.”

Amala sighed and, before Solas could do anything to soothe her disappointment in him, he felt her lips press softly to his cheek. His heart stuttered. Time slowed to a crawl.

Touch starved. That was the phrase he had heard bandied about by soldiers, too long away from their wives, families and friends. Like so much else in his life, it had never made sense until he met Amala.

The kiss should have been nothing. It was quick and chaste, the kind of thing she had once done instinctively if they were going separate ways on a mission, or if one of them was heading out without the other. Instead, after so many years of solitude, it felt like the very first time. Warmth spread from where her skin touched his, his every nerve ending felt alive and he recognized that this kiss felt meaningful. It was a promise, a dedication to treating one another softly no matter how scared or broken they both may be from years of constant battle. It was an offering of better times ahead.

But what use is a general in peacetime? How could he give her better days when all he had to offer was dread?

[epickiya722]

I recently posted a fic inspired by that art piece Gege posted on Dec. 24 and chapter 265, so I had to go back and reread the chapter to even write said fic and all that. I also went back and reread the ask I answered and thought...

"Why did Sukuna go along with Yuji? Why did he fish with him, did archery with him, listen to Yuji...?"

As I stated in my answer to the ask, I do think it does come from wanting to be cautious in a situation that you're not sure how to get out of, yet.

One minute, he was fighting and the next he's sitting in some train station in his smaller, Yuji form while Yuji shows up lacking his recent battle scars.

Then while they stroll around, Yuji tells him "Hey, I just did it, I'm unsure myself".

So I would expect Sukuna to not attempt to do anything violent and until the bell rung when in an unfamiliar territory. Especially, when your opponent (Yuji) isn't being violent either.

There's also by this time, Sukuna had realized that he should see Yuji as a threat because he is a threat. Just moments before Yuji popped his DE, he followed after Sukuna in Angel's Jacob Ladder and shown barely any signs of even being affected and Sukuna caught that.

Wouldn't you also have your guard up around Yuji?

Now, while I, again, believe Sukuna was being cautious I also feel like... and maybe it's a little outrageous to say... that Sukuna might have wanted to feel... normal. Do something other than fighting and see if he enjoys it.

Okay, might sound a little unusual for him, but hear me out.

Sukuna made it clear he found humans weak, despite himself being human. (Well, born human... you know, you know!)

He casted out his humanity over the years and as he states to Yuji he doesn't feel anything.

By that, I do think he meant that. He doesn't feel anything human.

But come 265, maybe deep down he did want to feel what that was like again when the opportunity arose.

The thing about Sukuna is, he's actually a rather curious individual. He's observant and while he may come off impatient, he does take the time to actually listen. We see this plenty of times.

He'll ask questions, even.

In 265, I feel like that curious nature of his was shown. He may not have been asking questions, but he still played along to whatever was happening. Sukuna easily not participate in whatever activity and refused and while Yuji may taunt him about, he wouldn't force him.

A few chapters before, Sukuna recalls the time he and Yuji shared a body. Sharing that body with Yuji, Sukuna became witnessed to what Yuji felt. That would include emotions like remorse, sadness, defeat and so on.

Chapter 265, maybe Sukuna wanting to experience what it was like to be someone to enjoy something as simple as looking at a horse, but without having to share a body. That he wanted to see "can I feel something like joy over something like this without the influence of someone else"?

What was it like to be Yuji?

By the time Yuji got to talking about winter (hm), that's when Sukuna cuts him off. At that point, maybe as Yuji was reminiscing, Sukuna did feel something positive in doing all those activities but hated it. That what drives him to be impatient.

Something odd considering he has shown patience before. Earliest examples being way back in the beginning. And he shown such patience to Yuji. He actually waited to switch back with him.

So if Sukuna was patient during a situation such as that, why be impatient when Yuji is showing his happy memories?

Again, a guess, it's because he was feeling that happiness, too. And he chose to deny it. Continues to deny it even in death and it wasn't until after Sukuna admits defeat and decides to go for a different path with Uraume.

I think then Sukuna realized how right Yuji was about had Sukuna had a Wasuke in his life, things would have been better for him.

So when he chose to go a different path and does so with Uraume, what I saw was Sukuna choosing to live those moments of happiness he may have felt and hidden during 265. Furthermore, I see him as trying to be that Wasuke to Uraume, wanting them for once to be how Yuji was. Loved by someone who cared about him.

Why I say this? Because Yuji didn't just share happy memories. Most of it, was of his grandfather.

And let's say Sukuna didn't really enjoy any of those activities and truly didn't feel anything out of them. Let's say Sukuna still felt he was far too gone to allow himself to feel whimsy. What if, even still, he chose to go with Uraume to give them that chance to try to live a life as that? He may not have felt anything, but what if Uraume could?

While Sukuna is a bad person, he is still human. Part of being human is living a life that you choose. If you choose to be good or bad, it doesn't limit you to doing the opposite. You can be a good person and still do things considered bad just as being a bad person, you can still do good things. Sometimes, if you allow enough of the opposite in your life, your life with either go for worse or better.

Sukuna had gotten just enough good human conscience to go "I want a different path" while being selfless (usually seen as a good trait) and taking Uraume with him.

Anyways, I'm rambling here! Just had a thought.

[exgirlfiend]

thinking abt swaine and I just don’t think there’s any Good Faith in depth analysis of his character so I’ll be the change I want to see in the world and do it. get ready for a Long One

first of all, he doesn’t leave in spite of marcassin, he leaves BECAUSE of marcassin. he’s not selfishly leaving him behind for his own gain, his leaving is directly tied to his love for his brother. he doesn’t want to get in his way, because he’s not going to be the sage, marcassin is. he’s not going to be the emperor, marcassin is. all he’s going to do is Get In The Way of that. and he doesn’t feel like he can help him anymore (the emperor telling him that marcassin has nothing to learn from him + marcassin seemingly being Bad at Magic around him probably confirm this. he’s not helping. no one needs him there.) so he thinks he’s better off just staying out of his way so he can’t hinder him anymore. he loves his brother and wants the best for him, and in his mind the best thing for him would be if he Wasn’t There to mess everything up. is it right for him to have left marcassin all alone for so long? obviously not, but this was a 15 year old kid who felt unwanted and unappreciated and like he was just getting in the way of the person he loved the most. yeah yeah “I think he acted this way bc he was literally 15” is a cheap defense, but he was a kid impulsively making a bad decision that he thought was right. yes it was selfish and he DID also want to try and prove himself as not being a failure to his father (who he very much thought hated him and wanted him gone anyway; we know this wasn’t completely true because the emperor immediately asks what happened to gascon when he finds out marcassin is the emperor in the future and calls swaine his beloved son,,, but gascon certainly didn’t feel loved in that way and one has to wonder why) but. in the end it was all for marcassin. and marcassin wanted him to stay so badly, and he was trying so hard to get him not to leave, but swaine didn’t feel like he wanted him there, because why would he? all he was doing was forcing him to practice magic, which he obviously wasn’t enjoying and was actively pretending to be bad at for a reason that gascon couldn’t figure out (to spite him? to get him banned from helping him? because he just doesn’t care? he doesn’t understand that he’s trying to get him to STAY because why would he ever want that?). all he was doing was getting in marcassin’s way, and in his mind that must have meant that marcassin would want him gone too.

and like. I DO think that he made the wrong choice and there were so many other options that would have been less harmful, and he did ultimately pick the one that would benefit himself more than anyone. but he had no way of knowing that he was leaving marcassin alone. he was supposed to be leaving him with their father, who could teach him better than he ever could. how was he supposed to know that he would die that exact same day? he likely didn’t even KNOW that the emperor died right away either, because who was gonna tell him? he’d likely already left autumnia by the time the news got to him. and at that point, he might not have had an easy way back.

and we SEE that he’s absolutely desperate to get back to marcassin, leading him to literally follow oliver and esther into al mamoon just for a CHANCE to get a ticket onto that ship. he even says that “it’s all for him” when confronted. even with the worst form of heartbreak (need I remind you that he had a nightmare?) all he can think about is his brother because he NEEDS to get back to him more than anything. we don’t know how long he was heartbroken for or how long he had a nightmare or how long he’d been trying to get back to hamelin. he likely was too stubborn to go back right away, but…how many of those 15 years were spent desperately trying to claw his way back and being denied at every turn, both from his own lack of restraint and from others telling him he couldn’t? is it any wonder it took so long, based on how many obstacles we can SEE were standing in his way? also, when he steals the photo of marcassin from oliver, he refuses to give it back even when he’s not heartbroken bc he “can’t have it making the rounds”, since (and this was kind of lost on me bc I already knew who marcassin was prior to playing) they only know that he’s the sage; they don’t know that he’s also the prince. and the sage is just the “prince’s servant”, anonymous, unknown. except if you have a photo showing you exactly what he looks like and who he is. and swaine KNOWS what happened to the sages. he knows they’re all either heartbroken or dead from shadar. and these kids want to drag marcassin into helping them fight him (but nobody stands up to shadar and lives. nobody). he’s trying to protect his brother from them and from shadar. he so very clearly still cares about him and wants to keep him safe even if he’s not in hamelin with him. he’s looking out for him.

and on top of that, we’re SHOWN that he regrets his decision. he knows it was wrong, even if he can’t admit it. he tries to convince gascon not to leave when they’re in the past. he’s had time to think. he’s not an irrational and impulsive 15 year old anymore. he knows that marcassin ends up heartbroken. he knows WHY marcassin was pretending to be bad at magic. he knows that marcassin didn’t want him to leave. and he knows that he can’t change the past but…well he has to try, doesn’t he? maybe things can go right this time if he just explains things to gascon. he didn’t understand. he was always so stubborn. but maybe he can spare his brother the suffering he put him through if he just…tries. and it doesn’t work. of course it doesn’t.

he never apologizes (that we see). I’ll give you that. he should and he doesn’t. but it’s so clear that he regrets it. that he wants to apologize but just. can’t. because that means acknowledging that he hurt his brother and he just…can’t accept that he could do that. in their dotdd argument we can SEE that swaine is trying to rationalize what he did. he was just getting in marcassin’s way, and that’s all he does, he holds people back. he knew marcassin could do well, and he didn’t need to be there to hinder him any further. him leaving was a good thing, wasn’t it? he’s trying to convince marcassin, yes, but…maybe he’s trying to convince himself of it too.

and in regards to how he acts towards marcassin after coming back: “he calls him a ‘sniveling little wimp’ and says he’s ‘more trouble than he’s worth’ even AFTER being told he’s brokenhearted” yes! he does! but can you imagine leaving everything behind, being all alone in an unfamiliar place, being heartbroken, having a literal nightmare possessing you, all for the sake of trying to help your brother in your own flawed way, just to come back and have him tell you that he has no gift for magic (when the whole reason you left was bc he has a gift for magic and you don’t)? to have him basically spit in your face like that? it’s selfish and petty, yes, it absolutely is, but have you never said something mean in a moment of anger? of course he would respond that way. he speaks first and thinks later, it’s what he does. and I do think that marcassin deserved to be mad at him and yell at him and take out all of his buried anger and resentment on him because he definitely did the wrong thing and hurt him, and he doesn’t even seem all that outwardly apologetic about it, but…I can’t say that I blame him either. I don’t know what I would have done in his shoes.

and then he leaves marcassin again. and of course he does! he’s traveling with these two kids that are trying to stop shadar and he’s SEEN what shadar is capable of. he watched his father die at shadar’s hand. he FOUGHT shadar himself alongside these kids. he can’t just…let them go by themselves. he could stay with marcassin, and he’d probably be safer if he stayed with marcassin, but he can’t bring himself to send these kids into danger by themselves. he cares about them too much. yes, he just came back, and yes, he has to leave him again so soon but,, they come back to marcassin multiple times throughout their journey. he’s not leaving for good this time (they talk and work together during the clarion event! we see them talking on the iron wyvern! marcassin joins the party!). but he has to finish what he started. and y’know maybe he’s using chaperoning them as some kind of selfish way to make up for what he did to marcassin, because look, he’s not leaving them, he’s protecting them, he’s their guardian, he’s doing everything right this time. can’t you see that he’s doing everything right this time? and maybe it’s just him trying to Prove something to himself but…is that really so wrong? is it a character flaw to…want to improve? to try and do better when given the chance? we see time and time again that he’s Afraid and hesitant and cowardly and he screams when things get Scary and yet he always stands his ground and follows right behind them. these are his friends and he’s tired of running and he’s going to stand by them every step of the way. I don’t like father figure swaine but…I do think he sees himself as their older brother (whether they also see him this way is. probably unlikely). and he’s not going to leave them this time.

and on that note let’s talk about how he acts after the vileheart fight. esther and drippy make it clear that he keeps running away, so clearly he HASN’T improved, right? he’s still running away from his problems. but he straight up tells us WHY he keeps running away: he’s not helping. him being there isn’t going to make oliver wake up. and that SCARES him. oliver has saved them time and time again, and he can’t return the favor. he’s right back to feeling completely useless and he doesn’t know what to DO. but he never goes very far. it’s clear he’s not actually running away from them (esther is always able to find him and bring him back. he’s just leaving the city and that damn room for a bit). but suddenly he’s a scared 15 year old again and he’s incapable of helping the people he cares about and no one wants or needs him around anymore. and he’s falling back into his old habits. and that’s terrifying. but he does something different this time: he STAYS. he stays when vileheart shows up. even though they can’t win. even though oliver might not wake up. he fights with esther anyway.

and yknow what? he’s mean, and he argues all the time, and he always says the wrong things at the wrong time, and he pisses people off. those are true statements. I won’t try to rationalize or explain to you why he’s actually just ~misunderstood~. he’s a cocky jerk. he has genuine moments where he shows that he cares. he says nice things. he also says rude things. he mostly says rude things. he’s burying a lot of his softer feelings under a layer of snark and deflection. I find that endearing. not everyone does. it’s whatever.

I could keep going but I just. head in my hands. I care about him so much he’s so important to me. and yeah you may think I’m being too soft on him and giving him too much credit and maybe he deserves a way more critical and mean analysis that shows what a real jerk he REALLY is but. I genuinely think he’s trying. I see so much of myself in him. and it hurts that no one seems to want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

[kingqueensoobscene]

General headcanons for Blu!Scout x reader

Hello everyone!! I hope you had a happy new year!! I want to start a new series where I make headcanons for characters I haven’t written for yet to show you my interpretations of them. This is the first, please enjoy!

-I like to believe that unlike the Red Scout, he is much more experienced or gifted at killing. In the “Meet the Spy” video, which I know is Spy disguised as Scout, but Heavy bought it and he’s canonically a smart cookie, he says he has killed plenty of spies as if it was just like driving a car. And he is very cocky about it. When he has to clear a room, he doesn’t speak. His mind is focused for once; gauging the situation. You get whiplash from how quickly he can go from hyper focused to the annoying prick you know and love.

-He has saved your hide plenty of times. You’ve saved his too. Had a couple of enemy knives to your throat only for their heads to get blown off by Scout with his Babyface. 

“You alright, gorgeous?”  He would ask.

“Yeah,” he extended his hand down to you, “Thanks.” 

“On your feet, babe! Let’s go!” 

-He looks physically different from Scout in subtle ways. Their uniform is the same and they both wear dog tags, but Blu Scout has dirty blonde hair and green eyes. Blu started the hand wraps thing, which the Red Scout would copy because he thought it looked cool, because he would get his knuckles scraped as he has a habit of breaking his fall with his fist when sped across the field. The same long face as the Red Scout, just with bushier eyebrows. He also has freckles (I totally stole that from Lil Pootis). He also has a resting passive aggressive face, he looks unamused.

-He is diagnosed with OCD and experiences intrusive thoughts. It’s funny because he is good at staying calm in situations, but will think about them later on. But he likes to keep his worries to himself. He worries that something really bad will happen to you or himself one day; such as the respawn machine stops working and he won’t see you or Ma ever again. You have had to help him through a panic attack a few times, but he hates when you find him like that. He tries to get you out the door and lock himself in. He smokes to help his anxiety, but obviously, it makes his heart beat faster, making him worse and only helps temporarily. He will try and hide it from you, but you can taste it on his breath when you kiss. 

-He does not leave you without a kiss on the cheek or the lips. He’s more than fine with PDA too and he always holds your hand or if someone else needs you to get out of the way and he notices, he gently moves you by the waist. He gets cocky about it to the other mercenaries. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know you guys are jealous. I got the finest thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on and they chose me! Suck it!” 

Literally no one is paying attention.

-He takes note of everyone he has to work with. Though he can read and spell better than Red, he’s not great at writing, can’t get all of his ideas organized, so he draws what he notices about the others. For example, Spy keeps a picture of a young boy in his disguise kit and so, Scout drew Spy looking at the picture in the open kit in his left hand while the right dragged a smoke. They are amazing sketches that he never finishes. He only colors in hair or darker materials. He has so many sketches of you that he keeps in his desk drawer. If you compiled the amount of drawings he had of you, it would qualify as an anatomy and clothing study. 

-Wakes up super early. Can never sleep either due to his anxiety or his add. He will wake you up early whenever he does. Not usually when he is having an anxiety spell, he doesn’t like dragging you into that despite accidentally waking you up multiple times. He has a smoke, then makes you coffee, however you like, he will remember, wakes you up and makes sure you don’t fall back asleep. He will just keep pestering you until you stubbornly stay awake. He’s annoying and he knows it. If you don’t feel like talking, which is understandable since you’re up at 3:30, he will chat about the team or his life back in Boston.

-He has a thing for sweet treats. He always likes to take you out to the bakery just outside of the base and get you two a milkshake and some cake slices. The first time you two went, it was about 2 months into your relationship. You have not gone out of the Builder’s League since you got there, so Scout took you! It was a small little dinner that was rimmed with cherry red and a neon blue “OPEN” sign. He held the door for you.

“M’baby.” 

You seated yourself and grabbed the menus from the end of the table. You looked at all of the options, mostly the pastries. 

“I’m gonna get a malt. Ya want one, dollface?” 

“Sure, thank you!” You smiled.

The counter was a light pink, lined with a checkered, black-and-white belt wrapped around it. When he came back, he had a slice of pie, your pastry and one milkshake.

“I thought you got me one too?” You asked, puzzled.

“Yeah,” he handed you a bendable straw, “here ya go!” 

He put his red striped straw in the whipped cream and took a sip. 

“We’re sharing?” You laughed, flabbergasted.

“Isn’t that what couples do?” 

You chuckled. “You dork.”

[godlynott]

HOLD ME, CONSOLE ME. – THEODORE NOTT

NOTES: This is inspired on my fic! 'Every breath you take'. y'all can go read it💟 also my first language is NOT english so sorry if i have any errors. HAPPY NEW YEAR !! (this is also my first time writing something short like this sorry if its bad😭)

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Rory sat curled up in the far corner of the Slytherin common room, her knees drawn to her chest. The green glow from the lake outside cast ghostly patterns across her face, and she stared blankly at the floor, replaying the argument with Cedric over and over in her mind. She could still hear his voice, laced with disappointment, and feel the sting of his words. She hated that she cared so much.

Theo entered the room quietly, his hands shoved in his pockets. He wasn’t one to go looking for trouble—or for Rory, for that matter—but he’d noticed her absence during dinner and figured something was off. Their dynamic was always complicated, teetering somewhere between grudging tolerance and outright rivalry. Still, something about her silence tonight nagged at him.

“Rory,” he said, leaning against the armrest of the couch near her. His voice was casual, almost indifferent, but his eyes held a flicker of concern. “What’s with the storm cloud over your head? Did Cedric finally trip over his own perfection and blame you for it?”

Rory didn’t laugh. She didn’t even snap back at him, which immediately set off alarm bells. Instead, she gave a hollow shrug. “Not in the mood, Theo.”

“Not in the mood?” he echoed, dropping into the chair beside her. “That’s new. Usually, you’d bite my head off by now.”

She glared at him weakly, but the fire in her eyes was dim. “Why are you here?”

“Because you look like you’re about to punch the wall or cry—possibly both—and I’d rather not have to explain why the common room’s a mess."

Her lips twitched, almost smiling, but it faded just as quickly. She sighed. “Cedric it’s over, Theo. We both saw him cheating on me. Also sent me a text saying im "Too slytherin'.” The word came out bitter, heavy with frustration and hurt.

Theo scoffed. “Too Slytherin? What does that even mean? Ambitious? Clever? Better at chess than him?”

“He thinks I manipulate people,” she muttered. “That I don’t care about anyone but myself.”

Theo frowned, his usually sharp features softening slightly. “That’s crap, Rory. Anyone who actually knows you would never say that. Cedric’s just—what’s the word? Ah, right. An idiot.”

Before Rory could respond, the door to the common room swung open, and Daphne Greengrass strutted in, her icy demeanor filling the room. Her gaze immediately locked on the two of them, and her lips curled into a smug smile.

“Well, well,” Daphne drawled, sauntering closer. “Isn’t this a cozy little scene? Rory, drowning your sorrows with Theo? How romantic. Or are you plotting your next scheme?”

Rory’s jaw tightened, and she stood, anger flashing across her face. “Not now, Daphne.”

“Oh, but now’s perfect,” Daphne retorted, stepping closer. “I just think it’s funny, really. Cedric finally saw through your act, and here you are, looking for your next target. How very predictable.”

Rory’s hands clenched into fists, but Theo stood before she could get a word out, placing himself between the two girls. “Back off, Daphne,” he said, his tone low and dangerous. “You’re not helping.”

Daphne arched an eyebrow, her smirk widening. “Oh, how noble of you, Theo. Defending Rory, of all people. Since when do you care what happens to her?”

Theo glanced back at Rory, whose face was a mix of anger and hurt, before turning back to Daphne. “I don’t. But I care about not listening to your nonsense. Go pick a fight with someone who actually deserves it.”

Daphne’s smile faltered, her eyes narrowing. “I don’t take orders from you.”

“No,” Theo said sharply, stepping closer, his voice cutting through the tension like a blade. “But if you want to stay here, you’ll keep your mouth shut. Or do I need to remind you that I can outthink you in every way that matters?”

For a moment, Daphne looked ready to lash out, but the steely determination in Theo’s gaze seemed to cow her. With a huff, she turned and swept out of the room, her robes billowing dramatically behind her.

As the door slammed shut, Rory sank back onto the couch, rubbing her temples. “Great. Now she’ll probably tell the whole house I’m crying over Cedric.”

Theo sat beside her again, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smirk. “Let her. Half the house hates her anyway. Besides, it’s not like we’re friends or anything. I just couldn’t stand listening to her whine.”

Rory let out a bitter laugh. “Enemies or not, that was surprisingly decent of you.”

Theo shrugged, leaning back against the couch. “Don’t get used to it.”

But there was something in his tone—something softer, hidden beneath the sarcasm—that made Rory glance at him a little longer than usual. For the first time all day, she felt like the weight of Cedric’s words didn’t matter quite as much.