#i wanna like. process and post about this stuff more
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I was on a podcast talking about my job recently weeeeeeeeeeeeee
it quickly covers what it was like to suddenly go from college dropout to art director, the origin story of Figmin, and some hopes and dreams for the future of AR&VR
#auropost#link goes to spotify episode#i wanna like. process and post about this stuff more#and i don't want to sound ungrateful because the lifelong art dream coming true was so wonderful#but it was also just a really really awful anxiety hell for one year straight#anyways nothing heavy is in this podcast episode it's all nice hopeful stuff#but i'm gonna try to use this personal account for........ more personal things again i guess lol#ty all for sticking around as always. appreciate u 💖
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#rant in the tags bc i fibally have time to like. process my thoughts and stuff#but#a lot of tumblr anons on here Love to play the devils advocate and idk its getting kinda annoying#Especially because most of them only play devils advocate to insinuate that a female cast member is more or less Being A Bitch#also a notable amount of people on here keep saying that twitter’s the worst part of the fandom but then#you have just a barrage of posts talking about how courtney is unprofessional or cold or a bitch#or that its jackies fault why damien and courtney or shayne and damien have drifted apart like. please listen to urselves#the tumblr tag is slowly becoming the thing smoshblr is criticizing twitter for and idk.#if you wanna speculate please just leave the smosh tag alone OR do it in the dms/private posts/discord#we do not need a barrage of posts about how smosh twitter is awful or how courtney’s unprofessional
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i wish i could make posts where i say nothing about hera the way i do about eiffel, but the thing is. they have a lot in common, but one thing they very much don't is that they're on opposite ends of the spectrum of 'person you're likely to just meet somewhere out there in the world.'
there's a guy i see smoking outside 7-11 sometimes who reminds me of eiffel. people regularly tell me about guys they met who reminded them of eiffel. there's nothing fundamental about eiffel that you couldn't also find in some average guy, and that's what i love about him, and that's why, like... you can talk about mundane stuff as it applies to eiffel and it's natural for him.
... but you can't say the same kind of nothing about hera, because those mundane things would be everything to her. all of it is novel. there's an underlying sadness when you talk about hera just existing, and experiencing mundane, trivial, comfortable things - and i want those things for her, so badly! - because it's always with the knowledge she's never had the chance to experience any of it before.
#you know? like i do wanna talk about#hera having a body and the way she would relate to that and how she would process. new sensations and experiences#that's something very dear to me. especially re: gender euphoria. i want hera to get to do all the stereotypical trans girl things#get her a nice dress or a skirt etc.#but that's a much more niche type of post than the kind of stuff i say about eiffel
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To all my neurodivergent besties out there, here's the situation :
So I've been in therapy for about two months now and a couple sessions ago I told my therapist how when people recommend stuff to me like books and shows, to me it feels like I'm getting to know the person. I'm learning about them through media they like; and that if I feel said media is gonna teach me something new about the other person, then I engage with that media. In my mind, it's a scale "will I learn anything new about them? Yes/no"
I rarely ever have interest in new stuff, but when my friends get into something new I like to ask the why's and how's first because I'd love to understand. In a way, it's something I do out of interest for my friends. And yeah, sometimes I've felt like I'm being more annoying than anything else but—that's besides the point; I like to watch new things to understand people, I watch things with people in mind. I read and I like finding a scene that makes me understand why this person recommended this story. My love language some would say lmao.
Anyways,
#poll time#!!#neurodiversity#neurodivergent#personal#neurodiverse stuff#also how do I ask my therapist for a ND diagnosis jsjsj#also please let me know how you go about new stuff like show recommendations#what's your process like or do you just watch it?#(I wish that could be me)#but no I go into this sort of dilemma#oh not really relevant or maybe it is but didn't know where to add it#since I do it out of interest to get to know the person there's a small part of me that feels they feel the same#like I recommend something and the watch it? then they want to get to know me! they don't engage with it? They have no interests in knowing#me#but not always/that strong because K#I know not everyone goes through this process#anyways this whole post came out of my friend saying “imaginary relationships is a symptom”#and uh yeah#also feel free to reblog this ofc I wanna get more people answering jsjsjs
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I think it would be really funny if I somehow snuck some jazzton stuff into the anton shimeji thing I made for my blog, then released the embed link for other people to use. Like yeah sure you can have a little Anton to put places :) BUT you also have to support jazzton nation 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
#I still have many edits I want to make to that thing. the anton containment zone.#but it's such a Process#and idk how to do it properly lol#I want to include the boost explosions and particle effects and stuff but grrrr. would mean combining a bunch of sprites frame by frame#also I wanna figure out how to make a mute toggle and a spawn toggle so I can add pippo and ballbuster sprites#also I'd love to eventually add chips and heartbeets somehow but idk how or what I'd even do lol#I just like the idea of making him a little bit more interactive#but I don't think the way I made him lends itself to that at all lol#he's just there to do his own thing#all you can do is pick him up#if you don't know what I'm talking about go look at my blog on desktop btw#roz posts
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watching bmc London and having the opposite experience of when you hear musical songs out of context and interpret stuff that's not actually in the text not only it is THERE but there's even more in the dialogue
#be more chill#talking about the squip being a metaphor about autistic masking )#You see human social activity is governed by rules and I have the process and capacity to understand those rules#and pass them on to you#he said that right after being introduced ! not even subtext anymore#anyway the jeremy and michael of the london bootleg are very cute so fa#*far#edit really enjoyed it! I think it could b even cooler if they actually went deeper into squip stuff and the time jeremy spends with the ne#w friends? like if it wasn't only about 'christineeee' but more about him wanting to feel like he belongs#specially with secondary characters it's like. they don't go deep enough like the do you wanna hang song is wild but then you have the rich#fire song#anyway! that's what fanfic is for. Iam not like complaining I think it's overall a good show#just talking about what my dream version of it would b#i thought i had posted this#yes i'm 25 and like bmc leave me alone
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gonna start this one by just saying that this is only focusing on the first 3 games + 4 IAT, just so ya's know.
more thoughts on n brio but i definitely don't think n brio hates n gin bc he wants to be cortex's right hand man. it really doesn't make much sense especially considering that the flashback tapes indicate that he was plotting against cortex even before n gin was there.
this man now lives out of his hate and spite as a result of the way cortex treated him. his ire is purely directed at cortex and anything that obstructs it. unfortunately this means anyone that associates with cortex, regardless of intention, is going to be affected too.
by crash 4, this has gotten so detrimental that getting vengeance once in crash 2 just isn't enough any more.
he's so lost in this cycle that he's dug himself further into that he won't take into account that it'd probably be much more beneficial for him to get along with n gin or that maybe you probably shouldn't test out potentially deadly chemicals on people you consider to be your only friends.
he's making things a lot harder for himself whether he realises it or not.
#crash bandicoot#crash bandicoot 4: it's about time#n. brio#n. gin#crash analysis#evil science has entered the chat#that's my talk tag btw#wont tag cortex since he's only mentioned#this has been sitting in my drafts the past few days and like#it was much longer but i deleted the stuff relating to n gin since i wanna eventually make a separate post for him#just need to think things out more#but man n brio's thought process fascinates me like my guy what in the FUCK are ya doin lol
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something i kinda realized earlier is like
i love barney guttman from dead end paranormal park for being like me. a fat jewish mlm trans man. and i love most of those parts of myself. but its the part about being fat that always gets me.
its something ive been dealing with lately, my relationship with my weight. i had like a whole epiphany a few months ago, but one moment of realization does not fully transform years and years of complicated and unwanted feelings. it helps, of course
anyway, i just had this thought of like... if i love him for being like me in these aspects, why cant i love myself the same way for all of those aspects? why is it different for me?
#my post#reminder#depp#the thing about getting better is that you need to have sooo many realizations and some of them can be gathered from other people#but a lot have to be made for yourself yknow#sometimes things just dont click into place until they do if that makes sense#what sucks about weight is like. not that my other issues were unfounded but like#people arent exactly shy about fatshaming. they can be kinda shy about other negative things they do depending on the person#but people have no shame treating being fat like its a deadly sin#so its like. all these voices that make it so clear how much they think its a bad thing to be this way#and it makes me not want to be this way. but... why?#people say its bad for my health. i think they should mind their business. its MY body.#these people dont know my body as much as i do. and yknow what? if i wanna be unhealthy then thats my choice#i dont care about combating the idea that its inherently not unhealthy cause like. what the actual fuck ever#oh noooo someone isnt being the pinnacle of health! theyre gonna die in 5 years to the day because of this or something!#who ! the fuck ! cares ! leave me alone about my body. fucks sake#(but also its not inherently unhealthy for someone to be 'overweight' lmao no 2 people are built the same. except twins probably)#also i literally have pcos which can fuck with weight bro 😭 it fucks with like how your body processes sugars(??)#i swear i know what it does im just tired. but it fucks with how your body can process stuff and it has to do with insulin and stuff#which is why people with pcos can end up having diabetes more often#anyway good night
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update, update, get your update to the submission rules here!
intro and rules
hi! this is a submission based blog centered around aromanticism as both a specific identity and an umbrella of identities. due to chronic illnesses, we post somewhat inconsistently, and would recommend not sending urgent questions our way. That said, you can send questions about being aro, though we would like to suggest checking out our tags #question (for general questions), #am-i-aro (for questions about if the asker is aromantic), and #advice (for aro-focused advice) first. Please be patient if you would like an individualized response to a situation.
submissions can be silly or serious. aromantic people are not a monolith, and your mileage may vary for each and every submission - know that even if you don’t relate to many posts about your identity, that’s okay. we don’t relate to a lot of this either.
we will probably block you if you’re rude about how “everyone can experience this, not just aros!” there are no “purely” aro experiences, and we hate to tell you, but we’d rather not just post increasingly niche definitions of aromanticism.
this is open for any aro-spec people (including questioning folks)! if you don’t see much for your particular aro identity here, feel free to send more :)
for those interested in a playlist of the submitted “music recs”, @felixisaprince has made one here for Spotify.
Submission Rules - if you do not follow these, your submission will be deleted. If you submit via an account, I will attempt to contact you for re-submission.
Submit via the ask box or submit tab. Anonymous and user submissions are allowed. If you’d like to modify / not submit it, please dm @just-aro rather than sending a second ask that will not be seen in time.
Begin each submission with the phrase “aro culture is”, or something more specific like disabled aro culture, demiro culture, or whatever you’d like.
No discourse - We do this for fun, and that isn’t fun. Judging by our inbox, we need to explicitly state that shipping discourse is included in this statement. That said, we are radically inclusive. We are stronger together, and it’s always worth listening to each other.
Please don’t send replies to other submissions (ie, “aro culture is hating xyz thing”, and sending “actually I like xyz thing”). Reblog the post with your addition if you care that much about it, please.
Exclusionism, ableism, racism, or anything of that like will get you a block. “Cringe culture” is inherently ableist. other people have described this better than we can, but the tl;dr is: most everything described as "cringy, cringe-worthy” behavior is something performed by neurodivergent folks, and generally harmless. Ask yourself it it bothers you because of harm caused or for not following a social norm.
Use of the terms “opposite gender/sex” will result in deletion of the submission. If needed, “other binary gender” or things like that can be used. You can also say that people have expectations of boys and girls, for example. Fight the genderqueer/agender mods by telling us our opposite genders if you think this is so awful, and listen to intersex folks as well.
NO IMAGE SUBMISSIONS unless they are credited and have an image description (link to guide on writing them, additional link for an image to text generator, discord help here). Credit your artists and/or photographers, don’t steal their work. Provide alt text and/or image descriptions for those who are blind, low-vision, have other accessibility needs, and who are suffering from Tumblr’s poor loading speed.
Thank you :)
last edit: 4/19/23. Notes on edit: Rewording, removed rule about “hating” media to replace with rule on replying outside of post. Added submit tab as option for submissions. Added description of cringe culture.
#blog maintenance#not aro culture#not aro#mod axel#just trying to clean everything up a little#i think allowing y'all to submit your posts with tags might help me process them faster#removed the rule about 'aro culture is hating xyz media' because we didn't follow it consistently and honestly...#the point had always been more about 'please stop yelling at me when you could literally reblog the post and engage with people who care.'#if you want to spend your time being angry on the internet about media instead of like. organizing in ur local community to make actionable#changes to the everyday person's life#then go ahead as long as you aren't bothering the rest of us lol#also if anyone has a good article/post/etc about the inherent problems with cringe culture please lmk and dm @just-aro with them!#we'd like to start adding references for stuff like that#also any good like. aro 101 type resources. we wanna make a good 'intro to aromanticism' tab that links to resources
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I think I just really like movies. I'm gonna turn into a film bro but like the fun kind who also enjoys bad movies. if I ever go back to school I'll take a film class of some sort
#nerd alert#im into so many types of art tbh if it wasnt such a huge financial investment id wanna do film stuff too#if i had to rank art tyoes from most to least accessible financially#it would go writing -> drawing/visual arts -> music -> most crafts -> film production#costwise writing is nearly free its just pen and paper or typing on the phone u already have#drawing can also be pen and paper but theres more onus to get like good quality materials and theres several types#plus the cost of tablets and software for digital art#then music you have to worry about getting and maintaining an instrument and/or decent music making software#plus depending on where you wanna post it there are distribution fees#crafts can start pretty cheap but if you wanna keep doing them you gotta buy more and more materials and that adds up#film production tho. not only do u have to make the initial investment of all the equipment#theres also a much more inflexible time commitment AND you have to oay OTHER PEOPLE in the process#i barely know anything about that process btw so theres probably a lot abt it that im missing too
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STOP WAITING, START PERSISTING & LIVING
something i've realised about manifestation & stuff is alot of us tend to "wait" for our desires which can get so stressful & tiring (especially on a time crunch) so why not js persist in the assumption you already have it & live w/ your desires in ur imagination? "But, isn't that faking it till you mak-" hold it right there! If anything, the imagination is more 'real' than the 3D because your dominant thoughts are the ones which materialise reality, not the other way round. So start making manifestation fun, why wait for your dr when you can js visualise you have it, write affirmation vaunts, write diary entries, live on end, etc (however u wanna do it) because not only does it 'elminate' the whole waiting process of manifestation (because at the end of the day, manifestation = instant), it is also inevitable that your desires will materialise so its like a 2-in-one!!
what i want you to take from this post? stop waiting for your desires & start persisting/living in the assumption that you have your desires (because that is infact TRUE)
divider creds:
#loassblog#shifting antis dni#loa tumblr#shifting blog#shifting community#desired reality#bbrattywise#law of assumption#loa blog#loa success#loablr#loassumption#affirm and persist#loa posts
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WHY YOU’RE STRUGGLING TO INDUCE PURE CONSCIOUSNESS
You guys need to get out of that complainant mindset. I know and understand that you’re human but what will you get out of complaining? Pure Consciousness AGAIN is just shifting your awareness away from the 3D and shifting your awareness to the 4D. THE 3D is everything you see around you like right now is the 3D. The 4D is YOUR IMAGINATION! IMAGINATION IS THE TRUE REALITY!
The real reason you can’t induce pure consciousness is because you want to:
Focus on time
Wonder when you’ll get “symptoms”
Focus too much on when your body will get that floaty feeling.
Truth be told there isn’t always symptoms, you can induce pure consciousness without having any symptoms. You’ll know you induce pure consciousness when you don’t have your senses anymore (no you’re not dying) The only reason why HALF of the community complains about not inducing pure consciousness because again; YOU FOCUS TOO MUCH ON YOUR BODY. When are you going to learn to trust yourself and let go? It gets so incredibly annoying when i see people still complaining about the most easiest fixable problem, I mentioned the problem before ITS ALWAYS YOU. Now that i’m still typing this i also wanna mention two MORE topics.
RUSHING
DESPERATION
These two things get you nowhere, We know you want your dream life right now but rushing a process and BEING DESPERATE? pathetic. When you rush something you don’t get it and its just like that. You’re not supposed to rush pure consciousness thats literally your failure. For the LAST AND FINAL TIME stop rushing stuff, STOP being desperate! think of this post as a harsh reminder or slap to the face, You guys are taking pure consciousness and acting like a trigonometry problem. USE COMMON SENSE.
THE CLOCK IS STILL TICKING, YOUR STORY ISN’T OVER DO NOT GIVE UP.
* if i haven’t responded to your DM i’ve been busy enjoying my life. I’ll answer some today.
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i kinda hate this conceptually but like... technically i'm really happy with the colours and stuff orz
#i just sorta started going on a sketch i wasn't done refining so like...#theres a dozen things i'd change if i actually planned anything about this#i don't even know if it works as a two character piece i just sorta added delusion chi/de as i went#i wish i'd posed them differently it's really bothering me... i got distracted because i was having fun with the colouring#why'd i space them so far apart (╬▔皿▔)╯#i don't wanna scrap it since i really do love how the shading on the bunnysuit came out#but... i'll be honest the layers are a fucking mess.#if i go in and change a bunch of stuff i will be fighting for my fucking life in there#plus... it's like 98% done i might fiddle with the levels and overlays a little more but it's... postable#might just separate them into two vertical pieces instead of this horizontal one and call it a day#this is hardly going to be the last time i ever draw either of them in a bunnysuit so i'll just do better next time#might delete this tomorrow i always feel really embarrassed posting wips my process is a MESS#snow blogging#wip
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silly note list because I need to fix things
no rules spamming is allowed :3 (I really wanna get these things done but need someone from the outside to nudge me, the note count is high because some things need to be later or further apart)
5 notes and I’ll drink water rn
10 notes and I’ll brush my teeth today
20 notes and I’ll have a proper full breakfast tommorow and for a week afterwards
30 notes and I’ll try to convince my parents to buy me the electronics needed to finish my tv head
40 notes and I’ll post a picture of the tv head
50 notes and I’ll post a picture of me in the tv head and a kimono I made once it’s finished
60 notes and I’ll put my laptop into a repair shop to fix it bluescreening every 10 minutes when I’m working on something more requiring on its RAM
70 notes and I’ll actually draft a project for a silly metroidvania I started working on
turned into a rouge like but who cares
80 notes and I’ll post dev logs of said silly metroidvania
90 notes I’ll get my shot together and start a twitch channel
changed into a YouTube channel
100 notes ill try and draft up a stream plan once I know all my school and extra curricular stuff
125 notes and I’ll stream my development process
150 notes and I’ll do some more extra streams and prepare an introductory video
streams not gonna happen for now but videos are being made
175 notes and I’ll start a YouTube channel where I’ll reuse some of the VODs I’ll eventually get and make some actual videos
200 notes and ill talk to my therapist about thinking I have adhd (I barely avoided failing last year)
250 notes and I’ll try to go to sleep early for a week straight
300 notes and I’ll try to fix my sleep schedule before school starts
400 notes and I’ll organize my room before school starts
500 notes and I’ll release a demo of said metroidvania
600 notes and I’ll release it on Itch.io
1000 notes and I’ll try to come out to my parents as trans (again)
didn’t go well at all
1200 notes I’ll try to make some money with my skills
1500 I’ll make a 2d game adding only y’all’s ideas
I might add some more later goals later (some of the numbers are prone to adjustment but I’ll try to avoid that, and do it only for the yet to be completed ones)
tags under the cut to get this started
@hadoom @uwathebestgirl @im-a-sentient-magic-carpet @thecrazyalchemist
I’m making a mistake with this one
@tanihanya
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──────────────────────────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
IMMUNE? ⋆。°✩ carl grimes x immune!reader .ᐟ WORD COUNT .ᐟ ⭑ 2.1K ꩜ .ᐟ WARNINGS ⭑ hurt to comfort?, use of y/n, blood, zombie apocalypse stuff ofc, post-terminus era, references/slight spoilers to twd 5x2 ?? petname (angel - which also did we all collectively agree that carl would call his s/o angel? i see everyone use it i have before too its so cute .ᐟ SUMMARY .ᐟ ⭑ you get bit, but nothing happens. ꩜ .ᐟ A/N .ᐟ ⭑ hey guys... its been a minute... (45 days COUGH COUGH) i am so sorry i have been SO BUSY and i didnt even realize i had this fic almost completely finished in my drafts so i decided why not finally finish it!! (which is also why the ending might be a bit weak because i also have no written anything for 45 days LMAO) my favorite thing about the whole science behind zombisim is all the theories of if you could or couldn't become immune so i wanted to write a little fic because i love... zombie science.. nerd alert!!! ☝️🤓 <- me but also whats a carl grimes/zombie fanfic writer without writing at least one immunity fic!! hope u guys enjoy!!
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────────────────────────
everyone knew you were clumsy. you'd always have to be with someone, no matter what. that's how much people worried about you.
there had been plenty of times where you had been close to getting bit, and if you were alone, you would've been bit.
but now, you and your group were back on the road after the prison had fell. you all met up at a terrible place called terminus, and almost died if carol wouldn't have shown up. it was dangerous, and terrifying. but you had carl on your side, as always. he was the person who had saved you so many times. he was like your personal bodyguard.
you guys had eventually ended up at a church with a priest named gabriel. you felt uneasy being there. gabriel seemed, well, unstable. rick saw it too, telling carl to keep his guard up.
but after a while, everyone was inside the church, laughing and having fun.
you spot bob walking outside, which catches your attention instantly. no one else really seemed to notice, so you turned over to carl.
"i'm gonna go outside."
"do you want me to go with?" he asks, immediately sitting up.
"no, it's fine. i think i saw bob go out there. i wanna go check on him." you smile at him, standing up and walking over to where you saw bob go.
but when you stepped out, he was nowhere to be found.
"bob?" you called out, walking forward a bit more as you looked around for him. "where'd you go?"
you walked a bit further, leaning your arm on a tree as you looked past further into the distance, searching for any sight of bob.
but, to your luck, you were snuck up on. you heard a growl to your side, where your arm was leaning, and then a pain shot through your forearm.
you let out a loud shriek as you fumbled for your knife, stabbing the walker who was still attached to your arm in the head. you kicked him off, breathing heavily.
you could feel your heart pounding out of your chest.
you glanced down at the walker who was now laying dead on the ground, gripping tightly on your knife as you processed what had just happened. you lifted up your pained, bleeding arm.
"no... no, oh, my god." you dropped your knife and began wiping away the blood that was profusely leaking out of your fresh bite wound. "shit..."
you stared at your arm for a moment, attempting to catch your breath while watching your own blood drip onto the floor beneath you.
the doors to the church busted open, snapping you out of your daze. carl, rick, and michonne stood at the door, staring at you.
carl stepped a bit closer. "what happened? are you okay-" he stopped as he spotted your arm. his face fell flat and his eyes widened.
"it snuck up on me.." you quietly and breathlessly responded, tears falling from your agonized face. "i was looking for bob."
rick runs up to you as he realizes you had been bit. he grabs your arm, his face a bit panicked as he starts speaking. "we have to cut it off."
"no!" you tugged your arm away from his grip, holding your arm from him. "we don't have the stuff for that!"
"stop yelling." rick sternly ordered, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder. "let's go inside. i'm sure gabriel has the stuff for it."
you anxiously nodded, stepping toward the church with carl by your side.
"i'll get gabriel." michonne said, walking towards his office. "find somewhere for her to sit."
you take a seat in one of the rows, still holding your arm tightly.
"what the hell happened?" glenn asks, quickly walking over to the three of you with maggie by his side.
"she got bit." rick runs a hand through his hair. you look to your side and spot carl, just staring blankly, his expression the same as when he first saw your bite just moments before. he was speechless, and afraid.
you held your arm tighter as the pain increased, blood seeping through in between your fingers as you clenched your jaw. your breathing was progressively getting more and more ragged and uneven the more you panicked.
"i don't want you to cut my arm off.." you protested, your voice high pitched and wobbly. you closed your eyes tightly, a few tears falling from your eyes.
"we have to." rick shook his head. "otherwise you'll become one of them."
"i don't care." you sobbed, gripping tighter and tighter onto your arm. "i can't do it. i probably wouldn't survive either way, we don't have proper stuff for it." you could tell it was difficult for them to understand what you were saying through your sobs. "i just want to wait it out."
rick eyes widen, along with everyone else who were crowded around you.
carl finally steps closer, grabbing your other hand tightly. you could spot tears falling from his eyes. "please, y/n. i'll be with you, it'll be okay. please i.. i can't lose you."
you looked up at him through your lashes, pressing your lips together. "i can't, carl. i can't."
...
they had moved you to one of the rooms in the church that had something you could lay on. they tied your wrist to a pole and stood in the room with you.
you could barely keep track of what was happening. you genuinely felt fine, besides the side effects from losing blood.
"can you wrap my arm up..?" you requested. the tickling feeling of your blood dripping down your arm becoming too much, and you also wanted to test if that was what was making you feel sick.
being immune wasn't even a thought in your head yet. but you were just creeped out about not having any of the same side effects that anybody else had when they'd gotten bit. you were sweating, but you weren't feverish, that's just how the weather always was.
"yes, of course." glenn grabbed a thing of gauze out of his bag, going up to you and carefully but tightly wrapping it around the bite. he also grabbed a nearby rag to wipe the access blood that had been dripping off of your arm.
"...thanks." you sighed, looking away from everyone.
they were all just staring, waiting for something to happen. but nothing was. the awkward silence and suspense was killing you. you saw the sun starting to come up through the window, which means it had been quite a few hours since you had gotten bit.
you've seen people last a day, maybe the tiniest bit over a day, but you noticed that they always had obvious symptoms by now. and you still didn't.
you blew a raspberry, looking around the room. ".. i don't feel anything."
"what?" carl squinted in confusion, his voice still a bit brittle from crying. "like, you're numb?"
"no, like.. i don't feel any symptoms of turning." you laughed at how idiotic your sentence probably sounded to everyone.
"so, you're saying you're immune?" carls voice changed from being upset to just pure confusion.
"i don't know." you shrugged, tapping your foot on the hardwood floors. "i seriously don't know what's going on. the only time i felt sick was when it first happened and i saw my blood dripping. i feel fine right now, a little lightheaded, but i think thats from the bloodloss."
"look, theres no such thing as being 'immune.'" rick shook his head at your statement. "it might just be.. taking a while to settle in."
"dad, can you have a little faith?" carl turned to rick, glaring slightly at him before turning back at you. "i believe you."
everyone else seemed really skeptical about what was happening, exchanging confused looks with one another.
"we'll keep her in here for a little while, alright? if she still doesn't feel anything by tonight, then we'll untie her." rick sighed, looking down at you. you had been with everyone since the start, being there when carl reunited with rick and everything, so you could sense everyones panic when they first saw you get bit. and now, you could sense their pure confusion. people in our group have gotten bit before, but they'd show signs almost immediately.
"i can stay with her if you guys want to leave." carl said, sitting down right next to you. "i'll let you know if anything happens."
everyone agreed and left the room.
you laughed to yourself, looking over at the door.
"are you okay?" carl asks, looking at you anxiously.
"i'm fine." you turned your head over to look at him. "this is just so fucking weird. and we don't even know where bob went. i'm so confused right now. nothing is making sense." you let out another light laugh, shaking your head in honestly disbelief.
"maybe you're the chosen one." carl laughs, smiling at you. "i really hope you're being honest. i.. i don't think i can handle losing you."
you look at him with a lopsided smile, happy to hear how much he cared. "i wouldn't lie to you about this. i genuinely don't feel sick at all. i mean, i feel gross, but not in a 'i'm dying' way. more in a 'i just got my arm bitten into' way." you tried to make light of the situation, despite being terrified. carls expression stayed a bit worried. "..sorry, not funny. i don't want to lose you either carl. you're the best thing to ever happen to me, you know?"
his concern turned into a smile at your words. he leaned forward and hugged you tightly. all you could do was put your hand on his back, due to your other hand being tied up still.
"i love you." he mumbles into your shoulder.
you laugh, leaning your head on top of his. "i love you too."
...
a while passed, yet you still felt perfectly fine. your arm felt odd though, of course. you had been bitten into after all.
carl stayed by your side, telling you stories and just conversing with you to keep your mind and his off of the whole situation while everyone was out searching for bob.
you moved your arm up to your tied up one, itching at your tight bandages. “i want these off…” you dramatically complained.
“we should probably check on your arm anyways. even if you feel fine, there could still be something messed up with your arm.” carl says as he rotates his body towards your arm, carefully untying your arm looking at you for permission.
you nod, and he proceeds to take the bandage off. the teeth marks had dark bruises and dried blood around them, and your veins were darker and more apparent around the bite. it looked unreal.
you quickly looked away from the wound, shuddering. “holy shit.” you closed your eyes tightly.
you could hear carl stumble over his words as he tried to figure out what to say. “i… it… is it supposed to- um.. look like that?” he let out a nervous laugh, moving his hand to comfort yours.
you returned the nervous laugh, looking back at the bite momentarily. "i don't- i don't think so?"
your body was violently shaking, unsure what to do or what was going on. would you still need to cut your arm off? or would it still be fine, despite looking like that? you knew that you'd have to hide your arm for.. well, ever, if you decided not to cut your arm off. it could cause so many different issues if people outside of your group found out.
carl proceeded to grab anything he could find to clean your wound, as well as new bandages. you two sat in silence as he carefully cleaned your arm, the only sound being your light winces of pain as he applied the antibacterial ointment he luckily found.
he wrapped your arm back up and planted a quick, soft kiss onto your bandaged wound, looking back up at your flustered face with a smile afterward.
your face was hot, and you quickly averted your eyes away from his out of embarrassment.
he put his hand on your cheek and kissed your forehead, then pulled you into a hug right after. "i'm so glad you're okay."
you were shocked, but let out a flustered giggle before returning the hug. "thank you.." your smile kept growing and growing. then, the words "i love you." finally left your mouth.
he broke the hug and looked at you shocked, but then his big smile came back. "i love you, too, angel."
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#🌙 — maxines fics#carl grimes#carl grimes x y/n#carl grimes x reader#the walking dead#the walking dead x y/n#the walking dead x reader#twd#twd x reader#carl grimes angst#carl grimes oneshot#carl grimes fanfiction#carl grimes imagine
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How To Get Started Making Visual Novels
Wanna make a visual novel? Or maybe you've seen games like Our Life, Blooming Panic, Doki Doki Literature Club, etc. and wanna make something like that? Good news, here's a very basic beginners guide on how to get started in renpy and what you need to know going in! Before you start, I highly recommend looking at my last post about writing a script for renpy just to make it easier on you!
LONG POST AHEAD
Obviously, our first step is downloading it from their website
thankfully, its right on the home page of their site. Follow basica program installation steps and run the program. I highly recommend pinning it to your task bar to make it easier to access.
From there, you're met with the renpy app, it's a little daunting at first but let's talk about what all these buttons are for.
Projects
This part is simple, it just lists the current projects in the chosen directory. You probably won't have any in there of your own. You should still see Tutorial and The Question!
Both of those default projects are super helpful in their own ways, i highly recommend testing out the tutorial and playing around with it just to get comfortable with some of the basics.
Create New Project
The first step to actually making your game into a game!
You'll be met with a prompt letting you know that the project is being made in English and that you can change it. You can click Continue.
From here, you'll be asked to input a project name! Put in your games title, or even a placeholder title since this Information can be changed later! (this is also the title the folder will be in your file browser, be sure to name it something you won't overlook)
Now we get to choose our resolution!
If you have no idea what to choose, go for 1920x1080! This is the standard size for most computer monitors and laptops, but it will still display with moderately decent quality on 4k monitors too!
You can choose 3840x2160 as well. This is 2x the measurements of the default, with the same ration. These dimensions are considered 4k. Keep in mind, your image files will be bigger and can cause the game to have a larger size to download.
Now we get to choose our color scheme!
Renpy has some simple default options with the 'light mode' colors being the bottom two rows, and the 'dark mode' colors being the toop two rows.
You can pick anything here, but I like to choose something that matches my projects vibes/colors better. Mostly because depending on how in depth you go with the ui, it minimizes the amount of changes I need to make later.
Click continue and give it a minute. Note: If it says "not responding" wait a moment without clicking anything. It can sometimes freeze briefly during the process.
Now we should be back at our home screen, with our new project showing. Let's talk about allll that stuff on the right now.
Open Directory
This just opens that particular folder in your local file explorer!
game - is all the game files, so your folders for images, audio, saves, and your game files like your script, screens, and more.
base - this is the folder that the game folder is inside of. You can also find the errors and log txt files in here.
images - takes you to your main images folder. This is where you wanna put all of your NON gui images, like your sprites, backgrounds, and CGs. You can create folders inside of this and still call them in the script later. EX: a folder for backgrounds , a folder for sprites for character a, a seperate folder for spirtes for character b, etc.
audio - Takes you to the default audio folder. This is empty, but you can put all your music and sound effects here!
gui - brings up the folder containing all of the default renpy gui. It's a good place to start/ reference for sizes if you want to hand draw your UI pieces like your text box!
Edit File
Simple enough, this is just where you can open your code files in whatever text/code editor you have installed.
Script.rpy - where all of your story and characters live. This is the file you'll spend most of your time in at first
Options.rpy - Contains mostly simple information, like project name and version. There aren't a ton of things in here you need to look at. There is also some lines of code that help 'archive' certain files by file type so that they can't be seen by players digging in code however. Fun if you want to hide some images in there for later or if you just dont want someone seeing how messy your files are. We've all been there
Gui.rpy - where all of the easy customization happens. Here you can change font colors, hover colors, fonts, font sizes, and then the alignment and placement of all of your text! Like your dialogue and names, the height of text buttons, etc. It more or less sets the defaults for a lot of these unless you choose to change them later.
Screens.rpy - undeniably my favorite, this is where all of the UI is laid out for the different screens in your game, like the main menu, game menu, quick menu, choice menu, etc. You can add custom screens too if you want, but I always make my own seperate file for these.
Open Project - this just opens all of those files at once in the code editor. Super handy if you make extra files like I do for certain things.
Actions
last but not least, our actions.
Navigate Script - This feature is underrated in my honest opinion, it's super handy for help debugging! In renpy you can comment with # before a line. However, if you do #TODO and type something after it, it saves it as a note! You can view these TODO's here as well as easily navigate to when certain screens are called, where different labels are (super great if your game is long, and more. It saves some scrolling.
Check Script (Lint) - also super duper handy for debugging some basic things. It also tells you your word count! But its handy for letting you know about some errors that might throw up. I like using it to look for sprites I may or may not have mispelled, because they show up in there too.
Change/Update GUI - Nifty, though once you start customizing GUI on your own, it isn't as useful. You can reset the project at any point and regenerate the image files here. This updates all those defaults we talked about earlier.
Delete Persistent - this just helps you delete any persistent data between play throughs on your end. I like to use it when making a lot of changes while testing the game, so that I can reboot the game fresh.
Force Recompile - Full disclosure, as many games as I've made and as long as I've been using Renpy, i have never used this feature. I searched to see what it does and this is the general consesus: Normally renpy tries to be smart about compiling code (creating .rpyc files) and only compiles .rpy files with changes. This is to speed up the process since compiling takes time. Sometimes you can make changes that renpy don't pick up on and therefore won't recompile. In these cases you can run force recompile to force it. Another solution (if you know what file is affected) is to delete that specific. rpyc file.
The rest of your options on this right hand side are how you make executable builds for your game that people can download to extract and play later!
Sorry gang! that was a whole lot of text obviously the last button "Launch Project" launches an uncompiled version of the project for you to play and test as you go! Hang in tight because my next post is about how to utilize github for renpy, so you can collaborate easier!
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