#I still have many edits I want to make to that thing. the anton containment zone.
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heartbeetz ¡ 4 months ago
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I think it would be really funny if I somehow snuck some jazzton stuff into the anton shimeji thing I made for my blog, then released the embed link for other people to use. Like yeah sure you can have a little Anton to put places :) BUT you also have to support jazzton nation 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈
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antonradke-music ¡ 4 years ago
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DJ’s: YOU AREN’T PRODUCERS. TAKE THAT WORD OUT OF YOUR SOCIAL BIOS.
Possibly controversial opinion:
TLDR: DJ's: If you're not posting original music, edits, remixes, or anything of the sort. Please don't put "producer" in your SoundCloud bio. It's alot like that guy in High School who would say "Yea man I play guitar, I shred like, all the time" then you hand him a guitar and he just starts goin ham with a poorly executed and under-practiced "Smoke on the Water" or "Enter Sandman" opening riff. On repeat. The entire time he plays. Except with DJ/Producers you can't just hand someone a laptop to "hear them shred on a DAW" so its alot easier to get away with in our EDM world.
FULL RANT: There is a huge difference between "DJ" and "Producer" and there isn't a single thing wrong with just being a "DJ" and not both. People still need and want DJ mixes. There's zero shame in admitting that you don't, or don't know how to, produce music.
  It only bugs me (and to be clear, it doesn't even bug me all that much) coz producers like myself and my friends spend countless hours learning and mastering our craft, so that title of "producer" is somewhat earned in my opinion. You can't just download a DAW and say "I'm a producer" if you've never once truly used it.
  Producers create. DJ's mix. If your SC page is only mixes, you're a DJ. If your SC page contains original content/music you created yourself, then there's nothing wrong with adding that "producer" bit in your bio. Even if what you're posting is ID's, WIPs, ideas, bootlegs, etc. It doesn't need to be fully finished and mastered music.  If you created it, you produced it, you are a producer on some level (beginner/intermediate/TUNE GOD, etc)
If you're a DJ now, and are just now learning to produce, just wait until you start posting/uploading your tunes. THEN add that fabled "producer" title to your socials.
  I'm also not alone. Myself and several of my producer friends have expressed at least some frustration towards the DJ's that both call themselves a producer in their socials and even (sometimes) out in public. It can definitely be a "wtf" moment (and this has literally happened to me before) when you are talking to someone, be it an Entertainment/Booking manager or a bigger DJ, telling them about your music and your work. Then another DJ shows up and starts doing the same. But you know that person, and you're aware of the fact that they've never made a tune or have even tried to start learning.
  Now there's the possibility that someone who's never worked on tunes in their life could get the credit or booking that you were working so hard for, and they didn't spend a minute doing the same. They just happen to be VERY good at talking to promoters, knowing what they want to hear, and manipulating the truth to fit a narrative that will get them hired or booked. And this has happened to me. They ended up getting a better time slot than me as they grossly exaggerated their SoundCloud stats, and played a song to the promoter by an underground artist claiming that it was their own. I kept my mouth shut. I should have spoken up, but I didn't think his ploy would work and I was new to that particular local scene, I wanted to avoid burning bridges or looking salty/bad. His set ended up being really rough, he'd lied about knowing CDJ gear (he didn't), spent an hour trainwrecking almost every transition, the dance floor was empty by the end of his set, he left the venue in a hurry afterwards and I've never seen him since.
Unfortunately it's not like many local event managers actually care. They just want a good DJ, and they'll often believe you if you tell them you're more than just a DJ. They likely don't have a reason to doubt you, and often don't care enough to check the validity of those claims. Or maybe they don't even know the difference between "DJ" and "Producer"
So in in summary: DJ's. You're not producers. Not unless you make your own music/Unless you are a creator. And just for the record, opening a DAW, playing with Serum for a few minutes, and tossing a few loops into a bus/channel doesn't count. Take the time to learn properly how to write progressions/melodies, program sequences, mix-down your track elements, structure your tune and bonus points for doing it all without presets (learn sound design) and without loops (learn drum & pattern sequencing) If you have that DAW installed, you're already sooo much farther ahead than tons of others in your position. Hit up YouTube for some tutorials and you're on your way! 
In Conclusion: Please. Please. PLEASE don't take credit for the kind of work producers spend up to 10-15 hours a track doing (my average time to finish a song entirely). You could cost a talented soul a gig or time slot they've been busting their asses for for years. There really isn't anything wrong with being JUST a DJ. Its a good thing, and still a valid and useful skillset with tons of work/gig opportunities. I played plenty of gigs before I really started calling myself a "producer". You may not get the best timeslots as compared to producers. But be honest with yourself, you could be a fantastic DJ, but who most deserves good timeslots at events? The guys with something to promote. A product to offer. And that product is their creative content/music/whatever. And that guy could be you, you just need to take the time to learn and work hard at honing your craft and skillsets.
  Soooo take "producer" out of your bio if all you're posting is mixes and mashups. And if your bio says it, or you identify as a Producer, you better expect me to fuckin test you on it cause I will. Immediately. And if you don’t pull a home made, non-plagiarizing, ORIGINAL piece of creative expression/content out of your ass in that very moment then I swear to Cthulhu I will perform a social/career crucifixion (alot like “social/career suicide” except I do it to you) on you. Your ‘music career’ ends right there on the spot, ESPECIALLY if you play some underground artist and act like its your music and take credit for it. That’s just so far from ok. And I WILL notice. I was an underground non commercial radio DJ for over 2 years. and a lifelong enthusiast all around. Trust me. I will know. So just be honest with yourself, and others. Please, and thank you.
           - Signed, bedroom producers the world over.
PS - I’m SERIOUS guys. I won't stay silent next time. If I see a DJ try to take credit for another artists work (especially while talking to promoters, and especially taking credit for underground artists work) I will shut that shit down instantly. I will ensure they're instacancelled on the spot and won't play a gig in that area ever again. Plagiarism is NOT COOL. Don't plagiarize. Seriously. You will never have a career in music if you make Plagiarism a part of your “strategy for success” in the music industry. And I will personally work towards ensuring that. (example: I still to this day convert people to the cancellation of DJ Bl3nd. That POS blatantly ripped off so many artists, and is a perfect PERFECT example of a DJ claiming to be a producer. But isn’t. AND he used plagiarism + ghost producers COMBINED to make it seem like he was a producer) I don’t care if you do end up learning to produce after the fact and start making decent tunes.. If you plagiarize and try to use it to advance your career, I will do everything I can to stop you. For ever. 
P.P.S. - For those of you DJ's who are learning to produce, don't take any offense to this rant its not directed at you guys, and please PLEASE don't get discouraged. You're likely not even applicable to this rant as you're actually working towards the title. So let me help you in that, below this text I'll be linking a few awesome YouTube producer channels who upload educational music/producer content. As well as some links to great sample/drum kits and more useful tools to help in your learning curve. I am also always available for producing tips and advice, just send me a direct message or comment on this post and I'll give you the best answer from my own experience/abilities/knowledge. Thanks for taking the time to read this ridiculous and stupidly long rant. I hope you can see where I’m coming from. And I’m sure many actual producers can agree with a lot of my points and reasoning. Have a good one. Peep my tunes if you have some time. Peace and deuces to all! -Anton Radke
www.soundcloud.com/antonradke www.facebook.com/antonradkemusic booking/collabs/commissions/general inquiries/demos: [email protected]
Resources and tools for learning producers: Some production education channels on YouTube that I highly recommend:
Dylan Tallchief has some fantastic tutorials for many different EDM genres which cover more than just production. He talks in depth about music theory, sound design. All of it. He shows how to use both Ableton and FL Studio. HIGHLY RECOMMMEND this channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIu2Fj4x_VMn2dgSB1bFyQA
For rap/hip-hop producers, I recommend watching videos made by these two gentlemen: 
Praxi Plays covers tons of genres/sub genres, and different styles of commercial, and less than commercial rap/hip hop music. He teaches using FL Studio:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAE7Doxo5WQRjLPz7JYa7Fw If you prefer darker, more underground rap music, or just less than commercial stuff in general, Based Gutta covers tons of styles of rap beats from the underground rap culture. He’s great, and also pretty hilarious. Also uses FL Studio. Oh and he does Lo-Fi stuff a whole lot as well:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTrrlfsv-5IBQ1SgPBawT3w
COMPOSERILY is also a good one. But a lot less serious. His videos are definitely more parody and satire than anything, but there’s still lots you can learn from watching him. Tons of useful stuff in his videos. He also does both Ableton and FL Studio depending on the song/artist he’s trying to sound like.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8Ujq8PBm0MWraaXd8MsIAQ
For drums and other samples, I highly recommend getting a Splice Account. Its incredible So many options! And you can download individual sounds. You don’t have to download an entire sample pack if you just want one kick drum that it happens to have which is great. A good brokeboi alternative would be Looperman. Its basically a discount/Wal-Mart level “Splice” style service but free.
www.Splice.com
www.looperman.com
Some useful sample kits I recommend getting for the sake of drum sequencing/programming:
XFER Pack by Steve Duda and deadmau5 (great for house and 4/4 edm genres) 
BIGHEAD Sample Pack by BigHead (available on Splice) [great for trap/rap/hiphop] 
literally ANY vengeance or cymatics sample pack will also be a great choice for practically any type of bass music. Face it. Bass music drums are boring and are all almost IDENTICAL from song to song (with the exception of the kick drum) so any Vengeance or Cymatics dubstep sample kit will do you justice here.
VSTs to consider: EDM: Sylenth1 (must have), Razor (underrated), Massive, Serum (must have), U-He Diva, Nexus (overrated but useful), Dblue Glitch, DBlue Tapestop, Engineers Filter (free, amazing Equalizer. deadmau5 approved), CamelCrusher, OTT (overrated but useful), Cthulhu (MIDI sequencer programmed by deadmau5, hella cool but confusing)
Rap Music VSTs to consider: Omnisphere. that’s it. I’m not kidding. A talented producer armed with Omnisphere, and a decent drum sample kit, who is very good at sampling and writing melody/progression can create THOUSANDS of Grammy worthy rap/trap beats without even once reusing an Omnisphere preset.  Its like Nexus. Except it truly doesn’t suck, and is worth the absurd price tag.
-Anton Radke  www.soundcloud.com/antonradke www.facebook.com/antonradkemusic booking/collabs/commissions/general inquiries/demos: [email protected]
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biglittlesshop ¡ 4 years ago
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Great Dane 5 Things You Should Know About This Woman Dog Mom She Loves Dogs More Than Human Tee Shirts
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Great to have time to visit anton’s retrospective at bucerius kunst forum hamburg until january see you tomorrow night larr the Great Dane 5 Things You Should Know About This Woman Dog Mom She Loves Dogs More Than Human Tee Shirts no edge adam u2 u2eitour antoncorbijn. Diane kendal for nars cosmetics thakoon really wanted girls to look healthy and very american this beauty look is inspired by the 80’s super models cindy claudia linda and christie found in peter lindbergh’s photography skin is gorgeous makeup is fresh and beautifully groomed face concealer sheer glow foundation cheeks deep throat blush eyes last frontier velvet eyeliner smudge across eyes and lower lashline goddess velvet shadow stick audacious mascara brows matte eyeshadow shades blondie bali bengali coconut grove brow gel lips sex machine velvet matte lip pencil. Yesterday was a busy day of meetings and airplane travel for peter and connor but last night peter took some time to share his thoughts on the passing of the great christopher lee christopher lee was the tallest actor I ever knew he was also by far the most literate when we first met in a los angeles studio where he was recording his lines as king haggard in the last unicorn he had just recorded haggard’s speech about his first sight of unicorns and I mentioned that it was probably my favorite speech in the book he immediately wanted to know well did I do it properly we can always redo it right here of course he’d handled the lines perfectly but writers and writers’ opinions about their work mattered intensely to christopher that same afternoon we discovered that between the two of us we we could call to mind just about all the lines of g k chesterton’s poem the rolling english road we also discovered a mutual need to hit the men’s room and my son dan in his mid teens at the time still has a very clear memory of christopher simultaneously peeing while declaiming in that voice which no one could ever keep from imitating after fifteen minutes with him before the roman came to rye or out to severn strode the rolling english drunkard made the rolling english road a reeling road a rolling road that rambled round the shire and after him the parson ran the sexton and the squire I leave it to the reader to imagine that voice in the tiled acoustics of a hollywood bathroom we met a second time in munich where the last unicorn was being dubbed into german most of my memories of that time and of chris lee have to do with books and authors he had known both j r r tolkien and a writer who mattered more to me t h white we had a long ongoing argument in munich about a chapter of the sword in the stone that appears in the english edition of the book but not in the american one he turned out to be right he usually was he never failed to mention the last unicorn as one of his very favorite books and as one of the movies he was most proud of having made indeed he left my whopperjawed as mark twain would have put it when we were being interviewed together on austrian television and he announced oh yes I simply couldn’t resist a chance to play king haggard one more time even in another language after all and he looked straight into the camera it’s the closest they’ll ever let me get to playing king lear the camera swung toward me to catch my stunned reaction and chris looked across the studio at me and winked but my most vivid memory chilling as it remains to this day has to do with the day that I and michael chase walker associate producer of the last unicorn and the one who really got the film made in the first place somehow found our way out to dachau I can’t now recall how we managed it considering that neither one of us spoke german and that you had to take both a subway and a bus to get there from the hotel where the crew were staying but we got there somehow and spent a good half of the day roaming with other tourists around a legendary concentration camp peering blindly into the huge crematoriums but staring with equal horror and fascination at the endless rows of filing cabinets containing every record of every human being who was ever imprisoned starved gassed or simply worked to death in this place michael and I grew quieter and quieter that afternoon until by the time we started back to munich we weren’t speaking at all I think we both felt that we might say anything in words again the first person we met in the hotel lobby was christopher he took one look at us and announced you’ve been to dachau we nodded without answering chris strode toward us looked all the way down from his six foot five inch altitude lowered his voice and inquired still smells doesn’t it with the end of world war ii christopher as a member of the special forces and whose five or six languages included fluent german had been assigned to hunt down and interrogate nazi war crminals and had been present at the liberation of dachau and yes the smell of death had undoubtedly faded somewhat since 1945 but it was still as real as michael and me wandering dazedly between the ovens and the filing system we just didn’t know what it was but christopher did and i’d know it again I never saw him again after munich though we spoke on the telephone a few times on the last occasion when I had called to wish him a happy 90th birthday I remember him assuring me that if by the time you come to make your live action version of your movie I have passed on do not let it concern you I have risen from the dead several times I know how it’s done he worked almost to the last as the real artists of every kind do they work to be working because that’s what they do and they die when they stop I always regarded him as the last of the great 19th century actors that bravura larger than life style went with him no modern rada trained performer would ever attempt it today nor should they it would inevitably come out parody however earnestly meant yet there was always more to christopher lee as an actor than dracula or the mummy or saruman or sherlock holmes for that matter though he was very proud of having played not only both holmes and watson but sherlock’s brother mycroft as well lord summerisle of the original the wicker man probably his favorite of his own movies is most likely closer to chris’s dark benignity than any other role he ever inhabited I believe this because lord summerisle sings a surprising amount in that movie and chris passionately loved singing if there is any such thing as an afterlife or reincarnation I truly hope no believe that christopher lee will return as a wagnerian opera singer if he hadn’t been considered too old in his 30s to be accepted for formal vocal training he might have been in his own eyes at least a happier more fulfilled man but we would have been deeply poorer for it and never have known See Other related 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argylemnwrites ¡ 5 years ago
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It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment - Chapter 15
Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)
Book: The Royal Romance (Canon Divergent from Book 2, Chapter 15)
Word Count: ~4900
Rating: R (all the adult language - what can I say, Drake swears)
Summary: A much needed conversation, part two.
Author’s Note: Thought I would have this up yesterday, but my Vikings broke my heart, so I couldn’t bring myself to do final edits. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! This chapter is not even remotely holiday themed, but it contains one of my favorite scenes in this story, so I hope you enjoy it!
This series diverges from TRR canon, where instead of waiting to discuss his relationship with Riley until their last night in NYC, leaving her a note while Liam is proposing to her, Drake tackles this topic as soon as possible after Tariq makes his statement and Riley’s name is cleared. To catch up on this series, you can find the previous chapters in my masterlist (link is located in my bio).
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It was pitch black out when Drake awoke to a faint tapping sound. He checked his phone. It was 3:26. He figured he must have imagined the noise and rolled over, trying to go back to sleep, but the noise returned. It was a knock on his door - light, but insistent. Drake was tempted to ignore it, but deep down, he knew who it was. So he shuffled over, flipped the lock, and cracked open the door. 
“You know it’s 3:30 in the morning, right?”
Liam nodded. “I apologize. I couldn’t sleep and I thought maybe… But you’re right, it was rude of me to come by at this hour. I’ll just-”
Drake cut him off with a groan, swinging the door open fully and gesturing for Liam to enter. “No, come on in.”
But Liam didn’t enter, instead pausing in the doorway for a moment before he spoke, “Actually, I was hoping you might want to go fishing.”
Drake blinked a couple of times, trying to clear the fog of sleep from his mind. They hadn’t gone out, just the two of them, in a long time. And given their most recent… conversation, it seemed like an odd choice. But Drake had stuck around to support Liam, so if he needed to go out fishing in the middle of the night, well then Drake would be going with him. “Yeah, okay. Just gimme ten minutes.”
So Drake brushed his teeth and got dressed, grabbing the fishing rods, the lawn chairs, and the tackle box before making his way down to the private garage. It was just Liam there when he arrived, so either Bastien had cleared a private outing, or Liam was ducking out without his security team knowing. It didn’t matter much to Drake either way. He just loaded their gear into the back of his car and moved to hop into the driver’s seat, but Liam called out, “Actually, do you mind if I drive?” Drake shrugged and walked around, sliding in on the passenger's side and settling in for the short drive to their usual spot. Except instead of turning right after passing through the palace gates, Liam turned to the left.
“Uh, where are you going?”
Liam glanced over at Drake before returning his eyes to the road ahead of him, “There’s a different lake I want to visit. I hope you can forgive me this break from our typical routine.”
Once again, Drake found himself shrugging. Not knowing how long of a trip they’d be taking, he leaned his head against the side window. It was dark enough out that he couldn’t see much of the scenery, but he knew they were basically heading east. They drove for well over an hour, not talking, just listening to Liam’s classical music playlist, the one he used when he needed to think. Drake didn’t know what was going on, so he let Liam drive on without any questions about where or how or why. They just drove and drove, and eventually, tinges of orange and pink started to appear in the sky. As the sun began to peek above the horizon, Liam turned off the main road onto a smaller frontage road. After about five more minutes, he pulled over to the side and stopped.
“We’re here,” was all he said before he got out of the car and went to grab his half of the gear from the back. Drake followed his lead, carrying his rod, chair, and the tackle box down a gravel path, Liam just a few paces ahead of him. It was a short and easy hike, leading to a large, crystal-clear lake. The area Liam had chosen was basically a meadow, but there were thickly forested patches along the shoreline, giving rise to large hills and mountains just beyond. Across the lake, Drake noted a grand estate.
He had no idea why they were here and not at their usual lake just west of the capital, but Liam had already set up his chair and was threading his line through the guides. So Drake placed his own chair next to Liam’s, opened the tackle box in between them, and started prepping his own line. Soon enough, they were casting out, the sky lightening in color by the second as the sun continued to climb upwards. They were both silent at first, but after several minutes, Liam broke the ice.
“So, Olivia’s aunt is behind the attacks.”
Drake whipped his head over to the left, trying to gauge Liam’s mental state. That must have been why Olivia came to the palace two days ago. It certainly explained the surge of activity triggered by her visit. Liam didn’t make eye contact with Drake, choosing instead to stare out over the water as he continued to fill him in on the situation.
“She wore a wire yesterday, securing recordings of her aunt talking about the whole thing. Lucretia’s initial plan was to kill any degree of public approval I had before I abdicated, leaving Olivia poised to take the throne. Olivia somehow managed to convince her that we were sleeping together and to give her more time so that she could eventually get pregnant and a Nevrakis would become the heir to the throne.”
“Wait, her aunt thought you two were sleeping together?”
“Olivia didn’t disclose how that even became a point of conversation with her aunt, but Lucretia brought it up unprompted very early on in Olivia’s surveillance, so it must have been part of her ploy to get the initial confession out of Lucretia. Regardless, it was effective. While Olivia was informing me of her aunt’s aims, Lucretia was scrambling to strike deals with her co-conspirators since they were no longer a necessary part of her scheme.”
“How’d that work out for her?” 
“About as well as you would expect. Turns out people who are willing to destroy and kill to gain power don’t respond kindly to being cut out of a coup. Lucretia started naming them all without Olivia even asking because she was planning on having the two of them take out the other key agents in the attacks, all of whom were looking to kill Lucretia at the first opportunity after she dismissed them from her plan.”
“Ah, classic Nevrakis family bonding.”
“Heh. Olivia made a similar remark. Regardless, the strike teams will deploy today to bring the parties involved into custody. Hopefully, things will be well coordinated enough that no one will be forewarned and able to flee. One other insurgent in particular is someone we absolutely need to arrest. His name is Anton Severus, and he and Lucretia seem to be the ringleaders.”
“I’ve never heard of him.”
“We hadn’t either. Initial research turned up some… strange connections to Olivia that we’ll need to investigate further. However, this photo was even more interesting.”
At that, Liam grabbed a small piece of paper out of his jacket pocket and passed it over to Drake. He nearly dropped his fishing rod when he saw the face on the paper.
“It’s that Justin prick!”
“Indeed. Seems he was working under an alias.”
“What the fuck, Liam? He was Liu’s press secretary. He spent a shit-ton of time with her one-on-one. He could have-”
“Drake, this whole situation is a disaster. If you have concerns about the vetting that went into hiring this man, I suggest you take it up with Bertrand. There is something else I thought it prudent you know regarding him, though. He arguably stood to gain the most from the initial scheme concocted by him and Lucretia. Understandably, it sounds like he is the most upset by her recent change in strategy.
“From the way Lucretia talks about him, not only is he highly dangerous, but he also has access to key information Lucretia has been collecting. This includes the findings obtained by the PI that was following you in New York. Apparently, the goal there was a titillating piece surrounding you, me, and Riley. Unfortunately, we think it is highly probable that he will have leaked the information obtained thus far to the press given Lucretia’s description of her conversation with him. So I apologize, but it is likely you and Riley will gain some media attention.”
“So will you.”
Liam shrugged at that, “Yes, well, that comes with the job description for me. That’s not exactly the situation for the two of you.”
“Was warning me about this why you brought me out here?”
“No, that was something I obviously needed to do, but that’s not why I wanted us to go fishing.”
“Why, then? Why today?”
“It's all just been... It's been hard to handle all the…�� Liam trailed off. Drake couldn't remember the last time he was at a loss for words.
“Yeah, you've had a lot of shit to deal with.” 
Liam chuckled. “I think that safely qualifies as an understatement.”
Drake smiled softly, letting the quiet of the surrounding nature keep the moment still and peaceful. When Liam got like this, it was best not to ask a lot of questions. just let him talk when he felt like it. So they sat there, lines dipping below the surface of the water. The fish weren't biting, but that didn't really matter at all. They were both silent for many minutes, but eventually Liam started talking.
“My mind is just so full all the time. As soon as I think I have a handle on one topic or issue, another one just worms its way deep into my brain. Being out here, it's nearly like all those conflicting ideas can just float away from me. For the first time in weeks, I feel like I can breathe, that I can decompress even slightly. I know that I can't escape the realities of my life forever, but this is a nice reprieve. So thank you, Drake. Thank you for indulging me, even if I did wake you before 4 o’clock.”
Drake nodded, “Of course, Liam. you know I'd do…”
Liam's eyes drifted over to Drake's as Drake trailed off. He wasn't sure if he had the right to finish that thought. A few months ago, there was literally nothing that Drake wouldn't have done for Liam. He couldn't imagine a single thing. But now, after everything with Riley... Well, saying something like that seemed pretty fucking disingenuous.
But Liam just shook his head sadly, “Even after I said horrible things to you the other day.”
Drake frowned at that, “Liam, I deserved nearly all of it. I should be the one apologizing. You have a shit-ton of crap to handle everyday, and my pissy attitude should not have to be part of it.” He kept his eyes focused on the water, ashamed that he couldn’t even figure out how to be the first one to apologize. But Liam chuckled lightly, seeming to be oblivious to Drake’s pain and guilt.
“Drake, since when are you worried about your attitude around me?” 
He let out a sigh before he responded, “Pretty much whenever I can tell you’re stressed.”
“But that shouldn’t be how this works,” said Liam, “We are supposed to be equals, my title be damned. That can’t happen if you are tiptoeing around me when my life becomes stressful.”
“See, I knew you would see it this way. But you’ve gotta understand that the shit you face is so much worse than the shit any of the rest of us face. I gotta be more careful with you than you are with me. Besides, you look out for me, too. You gave me a place to stay, you let me duck out and do my own thing when I get antsy, you find me lots of high quality whiskey.”
“Are you kidding me, Drake?”
He smiled at that, glancing over at Liam, “Just a little. My point is that we both have been there for each other.”
Liam shook his head. “But don’t you see, Drake, that everything you just listed didn’t really impact my life in any major way. Doing those things for you required very little sacrifice. You, on the other hand, just aggressively reminded my brother that you have uprooted your entire life for me. You put long-term plans on hold to be there for me.”
“You were a prince, Liam. Now you’re the fucking king. You made the best accommodations you could for me given the situation. I did the same. It’s no one’s fault that your life doesn’t allow you the flexibility that mine does.”
“Be that as it may, I worry I’ve taken you for granted, that I’ve treated your support as a given. You altered major life plans for me. That shouldn’t be taken lightly.”
Drake waved his hand through the air, almost as if he could swat away Liam’s concerns, “Trust me, it’s really not a big deal.”
“Your screaming match with Leo would suggest otherwise.”
“Eh, Leo was just being an ass and things got outta hand.”
Drake dropped his eyes to the lake’s surface, watching his line cut through the water. He could feel Liam’s stare on the back of his neck, but he didn’t want to acknowledge it. Maybe, if he just sat there quietly, Liam would let it go. Accept his statement as the truth.
“So this is what you meant about keeping your attitude from me when you think I’m too stressed to handle it.”
Drake sighed slowly, rolling his head around to look at Liam. He didn’t know what to say, but his silence kind of confirmed Liam’s statement.
“I don’t need you to turn yourself into an emotional martyr for me, Drake. I would never want that for you.”
“That’s not what this is, I just-”
“Drake, I think you do it without even thinking about it. It’s become nearly reflexive for you. Remember at my coronation, after Riley was forcibly removed from the palace?”
Drake nodded. While the overall events of that night were burned into his brain, he honestly didn’t remember the details all that well. He’d been a mess. Chasing after Riley. Thinking he’d fly out to New York. He’d gone from being convinced that she was going to be this gnawing presence in his life, happily engaged to Liam and just out of reach, taunting him as the possibility that was never meant to be, to being terrified she would not even be a small part of his life anymore. It was in that moment that he decided if he ever saw her again, he would be grateful to fill whatever role she wanted for him in her life, even if that meant opening himself up to excruciating pain in the end. “Yeah, that one was pretty hard to forget.”
“As soon as I got visibly upset, you jumped into action, planning and organizing. You even told me you would go to New York, and I just assumed that you were doing that for my sake. But that wasn’t your primary motivation, was it?”
Drake closed his eyes and shook his head, “I needed to make sure she was okay. I just wanted to be there for her.”
“You loved her already, didn’t you?”
Liam’s question gave Drake pause. He’d never really bothered to think about when he’d fallen for Riley. It was just one of those things, where one day it had just hit him out of nowhere that he was completely gone on her. They’d been eating breakfast with Hana and Maxwell at Applewood the day after finding the photographer’s ID badge. She’d been giving him shit in response to some comments he’d made about mimosas and after a few moments of bickering, she’d stuck her tongue out at him, as if that would win her the argument. It had just been so stupidly silly, so damn playful, so completely her that he’d just known. And that had been it. He’d never really bothered to try and figure out when he actually fell in love, at least not until this moment.
“I think so,” he finally spoke, barely getting the words out. It felt so shameful, to admit out loud that he was in love with Riley. That he’d been in love with her for a long time at this point. It was stupid to get hung up on this. He’d moved to a new country for her. Of course Liam knew he loved her. But to explicitly state it felt wrong. Dirty. Cruel.
The silence of the surrounding nature felt unbearable. But after a painful minute or two, Liam finally responded to Drake’s confession.
“I wish you would have told me how you were feeling. I wish both of you would have told me, but I really wish you would have told me.”
“Liam, I-”
“Let me rephrase that. You should have told me. The rejection would have never been pleasant, but I would have handled it. Romantic feelings go unrequited all the time. But you lied to me, if not outright, then certainly by omission. And that Drake, is the aspect of this whole mess that I am struggling with the most. I always trusted you to be the one person in this world who was honest with me, to never have an ulterior motive during our discussions. And I’ve lost that faith, Drake. That is what hurts the most.”
“I know, Liam. I’m so sorry.”
“See, this is why you can’t just decide that you need to hide your actual emotions from me. Regardless of whether or not my royal obligations are intense, there needs to be mutual honesty between us.”
Drake shook his head roughly, “It wasn’t all about protecting you. That was part of it, sure, but it was more complicated than just that. I wasn’t exactly trying to be noble.”
“Why then?”
“I don’t want to make excuses here, Liam. I know I fucked up.”
“I just need to understand, Drake. I need to make sense of all of this. So please, just talk to me openly.”
Drake took a breath, trying to organize his thoughts before he started, “It was self-preservation really, and I know that’s selfish of me, but it’s the truth. It was going to be bad enough in the end when she chose you. That alone was going to hurt like hell. I just couldn’t stand the thought of you knowing about it.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I was convinced that she was going to choose you once she cleared her name.”
“Is there some reason you thought that, or…”
“Previous experience mostly. It’s not important, though.”
“It kind of is, Drake. You are talking about this like it was some foregone conclusion that she wasn’t as interested in you as she was in me, when all I have is evidence to the contrary.”
Drake let out a huge sigh, his shoulders sagging in the process. He wasn’t sure if this topic was wildly embarrassing or just uncomfortable, but they were here now, and Drake didn’t see a way out of it at this point. “Over the years, there have been quite a few women who’ve tried to use me to get close to you. Some just feigned interest until you guys were introduced. Others seemed to have researched me and my interests pretty extensively, letting things escalate between us for quite a while before they suddenly didn’t have time for me. Usually, that was right after they met you. It didn’t take long for me to learn the drill.”
“And you thought Riley was doing the same thing? Drake, she hadn’t even heard of Cordonia when we wandered into that bar.”
Drake mustered up what was left of his courage before continuing, “I think she would have accepted your proposal that night. We snuck outside for a bit. Talked a little. We kissed. I don’t know. We both made it pretty clear that was it for us. It felt a lot like goodbye.
“Then after you got engaged and she came back, I don’t know. Things were different. She kept bringing up us actually being together. It was a strange shift, and part of me just couldn’t believe that she really wanted to be with me. I  kept wondering if she was just looking for comfort after being publicly rejected and I was the best option. So I kept telling her we should wait until she cleared her name to talk about our future. And I braced myself for the day that would happen and she would realize she could have you again. That she could go off and be with who she actually wanted.”
“You told me about your relationship the day after she cleared her name.” Liam’s voice was quiet, but calm. Understanding. Gentle.
“I know it’s not an excuse, Liam. But I just didn’t really think that she had any deep feelings for me until she told me she loved me that night. Some part of me couldn’t shake the thought that whatever the hell was going on between us was about to come to an end.”
“But it didn’t.”
“No. It didn’t.”
They both sat there, still and silent. It was tense, to be sure, but unlike the other day, Drake didn’t sense any anger rolling off Liam. He knew he was much calmer, too. Maybe they had just needed to purge their more toxic thoughts before they could have this conversation. Or maybe it needed to happen outside of the confining, binding walls of the palace. Out away from pressures and obligations, away from nosy servants and nobles. Maybe that was why Liam had wanted to go fishing. Maybe deep down he knew this was the only way either of them would talk. But that didn’t explain his choice of location.
“Why here?”
“What was that?”
“I am just trying to figure out why you wanted to come out here to… wherever the hell we are to have this conversation.”
“Valtoria. That’s where I brought us.”
“Okay, so why Valtoria?”
Liam sighed, looking around and fully taking in the surrounding woods and meadows. He was silent, with only the lapping water and the hum of last of that year’s cicadas filling the air. Eventually after several painfully long moments he answered.
“You know how Valtoria has been vacant for decades? Well, it was going to be hers.”
“What are you talking about, Liam?”
“I was going to offer her the title of Duchess of Valtoria.” He kept looking around, almost as if making eye contact would be unbearable.
Drake's mind raced as he tried to figure out what the hell he was talking about. It only took a few seconds for him to realize the truth behind it all. “You couldn't marry a commoner. You had to make her fucking suitable match.”
Liam winced at that, finally turning his head to face Drake. “I was trying to give her a home. I wanted Cordonia to feel like her country, not my country. But yes, Drake. I was also looking to appease her critics on the council. Titling her was a needed formality.” 
Drake let Liam's words wash over him. He knew that Liam himself didn’t really care that Riley came from poverty, had clawed her way to a working class lifestyle. But somehow, the fact that he would have elevated her to noble class before marrying her rubbed him the wrong way just the same. His discomfort at the idea must have shown on his face, because Liam spoke again after a brief moment.
“Come on, Drake. I know it’s your reflex to hate the nobility, but surely that wouldn’t apply to her?”
Drake shook his head. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it? Why would the mere formality of titling her upset you?”
“That’s not…. It’s just… No one needs to change anything about her.”
A faint smile crept across Liam’s face at Drake’s reply, even as he squinted his eyes in disbelief, “My god, who are you and where have you hidden Drake Walker?”
“What?”
“That was dangerously close to romantic, my friend. Certainly more saccharine and sweet than anything I have ever said.”
“Bullshit, Liam.”
“Fair enough, but you have to admit that was far more sentimental than you usually act.”
“Jesus, Liam. I’m not saying that to be romantic. I just don’t like the fact that you wanted her to change who she is to marry you.”
“It was never about changing her. It was merely adding a formal title.”
Drake squinted at Liam, trying to figure out how he could be so oblivious, but then it dawned on him. Riley hadn’t let Liam see her as she really was. She’d kept things light and polite. She’d never laid into him. Never opened up to him. She had kept playing at being princess the whole way through.
“Tell me, Liam -  how many times have you heard Liu swear?”
After a couple of seconds, Liam said, “My answer is that I can’t recall her ever swearing, but I can guess that is not her typical behavior based on that question.”
“She called me a ‘goddamn motherfucking asshole’ within her first few days here,” Drake responded, shaking his head with a smile, “You may not have asked her to change who she was, but…”
“You’re saying she just felt compelled to act differently around me.”
“I think so.”
Liam was quiet for a few moments, likely thinking about everything that had been said. Eventually, he shook his head, “Well, I think there’s some form of irony buried in this whole situation. Apparently, there have been many women out there who acted differently around you to get to know me. The one woman I actually wanted to get to know was acting differently around me as she fell in love with you.”
“Liam, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, Drake. At least not for that part. I will certainly accept your apology for hiding your feelings from me and prolonging the uncomfortable situation. But the rest of it is just life. I fell for someone, but she fell for someone else. There’s no reason for her not to be with the person she loves if he loves her in return.
“I’m not blameless in this whole mess. You were right; I just assumed she was interested in me. I could blame the entire dynamic of the social season, but that wouldn’t be proper. I am a grown man, and I should have recognized her waning interest in me.”
“No, you were right. We should have talked to you sooner.”
“And I probably shouldn’t have offered up being my mistress without asking about her feelings surrounding my relationship with Madeleine. There is plenty of blame to go around.”
“Excuse me, you what?”
“It’s not my proudest moment, Drake, but I was desperate and grasping at straws. Looking back, I certainly could have done better there. However, I am guessing you have some moments you wish you could redo in this whole debacle?”
Drake was still trying to process the fact that Liam had apparently asked Riley to be his side piece, but he knew his overall point was valid. They both had made mistakes here. And maybe it was time to leave those mistakes in the past and start moving forward. So Drake just nodded, a gesture Liam returned with a smile before he looked out over the lake again. The silence between them wasn’t entirely comfortable, but it certainly felt closer to normal than it had in a long time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riley poured the couple at the bar two more IPAs, then quickly glanced around the room, trying to see if there were any other customers who needed another round. Not seeing any obviously empty glasses or anyone trying to flag her down, she started loading up a tray with dirty glassware to bring into the back to get cleaned.
After her breakdown her first night back in New York, she’d resolved to not think about Cordonia, and she honestly felt like she’d done a pretty good job. One of the afternoon bartenders had quit unexpectedly, so she volunteered to pick up some extra shifts, which not only kept her busy and distracted, but also helped her earn some much needed cash.
She gotten some texts from Maxwell and Hana, but she’d kept her responses light and casual. She really was doing fine. She just had to convince them of that fact. If they kept asking her how she was doing, she would fixate on everything that had happened, and the would be the opposite of helpful. She needed to keep moving forward, and then she would be able to move on with her life.
Riley carried the heavy tray into the backroom and loaded up the industrial dishwasher. After washing her hands, she went back out front, but the sight in front of her stopped her dead in her tracks. She knew that hair. She knew that face. But that hair and that face were supposed to be in Cordonia, not scanning the room awkwardly, clearly looking for someone.
“Hana?” she finally called out when she found her voice, “What the hell are you doing here?” 
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kiss-my-freckle ¡ 5 years ago
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The building of my memory wipe theory.
Toward the end of S3, I got into it pretty heavy. There comes a time when one should accept that - while any theory supported by evidence is a good theory, that theory can be weakened to the point it can’t and won’t survive the current storyline. Not in the way one imagines it can and will. I’m not saying it’s a dead theory, just not a theory that fits current storyline. Ressler isn’t a character I post a lot of, but he’s a character I love. You can’t paint him as something he’s not, and he’s most certainly not a monstrous asshole. 
I’ve been building my Tom-domino theory since the end of S3 because someone advised me to think for myself. I initially had them posted as separate theories until I realized how one tapped another, offering a domino effect. Since then, I’ve edited and added more times than I can count, but their core concept remains the same. Since Dr. Krilov’s episode aired, I’ve put in A LOT of work. When that second memory wipe was introduced, the amount of evidence already in-show pushed me in Tom’s direction almost immediately. Sure, I tried looking at other suspects, but they simply don’t fit the evidence - at least not from my pov. Since then, I’ve basically taken the original Keenler baby theory and built upon that because I felt - while S3′s storyline wasn’t ready for it, current storyline is. And the show continues providing evidence for that theory.
For my memory wipe theory, I first went looking for a place where it could’ve occurred. I searched according to what I believe a memory wipe would require. Some of those requirements - I recognized in Ressler’s own manipulation. These are my requirements for a memory manipulation that occurred on-screen. Quite possible it occurred between episodes, but I’m listing these requirements to explain my thought process for those who wish to see it. 
Time, money, access. 
Time to kidnap, perform the manipulation, then leave in their desired ending location - as Ressler was in front of Laurel’s house. Money to pay Dr. Krilov for his services - that which is a team effort, as well as time for his travel to the states. Access is the biggest issue for me. Easy for someone to attack Liz in a grocery store parking lot so long as that attack is quick - which her attack was. Not so easy to take her for a few hours to wipe her memory. The problem with access is Raymond Reddington. Kaplan had to fake her death just to separate the two. To perform this memory manipulation, Red had to be absent for some reason or another. I’m not talking about a quick trip to the Post Office. I’m talking about an absence of at least two hours. No one will get close enough and get away with it otherwise. Red is too safety-obsessed where Liz is concerned. 
Time gaps, memories taken, memories given. 
I’ve brought up this issue several times, comparing it to Lord Baltimore and her DID. Taking notice that Ressler’s first action after waking was to check his wristwatch. If one’s memory manipulation takes an hour, not only will that hour be missing on-screen, but it’ll need to be replaced with a false memory. “How long was I gone?” Scenes will appear real and run fluid with the rest of the episode. The victim will be left with no reason to question where the time went no matter how long it took to perform their manipulation. A memory taken from Liz would require a memory given, like Ressler’s false memory with Laurel.
Timeline, current storyline, current characters. 
Considerations. Whenever this memory manipulation occurred, current storyline in that timeline needs to be taken into consideration. Who was in-show, what was going on at that time, how would a memory manipulation impact future storyline and characters. 
The mutual acquaintance and what memories were taken. 
Considerations. Who can fulfill the requirements I’ve listed. Who would have reason. Who would have opportunity. Who would take the risk. Who would betray both Red and Liz. Who would feel the need to hide “a certain truth about Raymond Reddington.” Most importantly, which character best fits this specific act. While many characters are capable, a memory manipulation on Liz would be considered out of character for some. Dembe is the perfect example. It would be completely out of character for him to wipe Liz’s memory. 
As the show progresses, certain things start to narrow. Red’s true identity has been a major point of focus since his imposter reveal. I don’t believe Red's imposter truth was wiped from Liz’s memory. In no way would it impact current storyline, so I consider it pointless and unlikely. Because Liz currently believes Red is Ilya, I don’t believe her manipulation has anything to do with his true identity or the night of the fire. I don’t even believe it’s a pre-pilot truth. I believe it’s an in-show truth. 
Getting to my timeline and suspect. 
Why Tom Keen remains my suspect, and I place it at the end of S2. 
Time, money, access.
Tom was no longer employed by Red or Berlin, so he had the time. With his purchase of a boat, they made it obvious that he had cash on-hand. Liz's trust in him would’ve provided the close-up opportunity to pull off her kidnapping. At a time when she was a wanted fugitive, her world completely turned upside down. The perfect amount of chaos and emotional overload that would allow a memory manipulation to fit without fail. Red was busy releasing the contents of the Fulcrum. This would’ve offered the amount of absence required. And not just his absence. Baz, Dembe, their tactical team, and Kaplan were with him at the time of its release. Liz is a strong woman, she would’ve put up a fight, so I suspect one kicked her while she was down - and she was down. 
Time gaps, memories taken, memories given.
Conversation missing in 2x18.
Liz: I got your message. What is this place? Tom: Reddington. Liz: Tom, what are you still doing here? Tom: I’ve been thinking about what you said - about needing to tell you the truth. So I’m gonna tell you the truth. Liz: I don’t understand. Tom: The passports - the passports came from Reddington. Liz, there’s more. 
Skip to Liz’s meeting with Red, so we don’t hear the rest of their conversation. 
Conversation missing between 2x19 and 2x20.
Liz: You said you could help me find answers. Tom: Yeah. I think I can. Liz: Tell me what you know about Reddington. - Liz: I had the photo enhanced. It’s a rough extrapolation of features since the face was almost entirely blown out. I ran it through every FBI database from facial recognition, mug shots, surveillance feeds. Tom: Or I could just buy this boat, and we could disappear.
From Raymond to Liz’s mother.
An entire night missing. 
Tom: So I wanted to see if you would join me for dinner tomorrow. Uh, I made a reservation at 7:00 at this great little place on the corner of 32nd and M.
Between Dr. Kimberly’s lab and the memorial service.
What changed for Tom in 2x18?
Back to the reason he was buying a boat. 
In 2x18, he said it -
If Liz gave him the passports, she’d never see him again. 
Tom: You want me gone? Do this, and you’ll never see me again.
After meeting Tom’s contact -
Tom: I’m gonna buy a boat. A diving boat. Gonna run it down to Micronesia, open up a charter business. You ever heard of Chuuk Lagoon? It’s an old Japanese naval base down in the South Pacific. February 7, 1944, sank 12 warships, and now they’re just lying at the bottom of the ocean. It’s a diver’s paradise.
At Tom’s warehouse -
Liz: What are you still doing here?
Brought up again in 2x19 -
Liz: I thought you’d be gone. Tom: That was the plan. Then I thought maybe if I stayed, I’d have a shot at a normal life.
It’s almost like Tom’s plan wasn’t a plan at all. A charter business, then a normal life? His mind changed within, so I consider the full episode and Red getting shot in 2x18′s final scene. A [shot] at a normal life? This goes to something Liz herself stated in S3. “The only reason Tom did what he did is because he had to do something desperate to get away from this.” That's why he pulled off the diamond heist with Gina. He felt like he needed to get away from Red. But it wasn’t just about him. He wanted to get Liz away from Red as well. That’s why I highly suspect Tom took part in the attempt on Red’s life. Because “The only reason Tom did what he did is because he had to do something desperate to get away from this.” And a desperate person would wipe Liz’s memory. 
The “inside man” never revealed.
Jasper: Where are we going? Samar: I have orders to take you to the Director. Jasper: I was aware we had someone on the inside, but I just didn’t know who.
The plaid shirt never explained. 
The flashdrive Liz obtained from Leo Andropov’s safehouse that could contain the evidence needed to clear her of treason. Placed in a plaid shirt neither of them were wearing. Would've been left undiscovered otherwise, only found because Liz was putting it on. 
Liz: The flashdrive that we found in Andropov’s safe house - it’s full of records, including documents about Cooper. Tom: Cooper. Liz: Yeah. His medical records, test results, medications, the - the Senator, the bombing. Tom: Liz, slow down.
Tom wanted her to “slow down” at a time when she had evidence in her hand that she believed was enough to convince Connolly into clearing her name.
And “they” didn’t find it at the safehouse, she did. 
Leo Andropov, never explained. 
They didn’t give us reason to believe Leo Andropov had answers about Liz’s mother. Anton Velov was the only one who appeared to have them. 
Liz: That’s everything! No! Oh, God! Stay with me! Come on! My mother - he’s the only one who knew about her.
The boat sex, not making sense. 
Though Leo Andropov had been killed, Liz still had his flashdrive. A flashdrive that could contain evidence to clear her name. She wasn’t just running from the Cabal, but every law enforcement officer in the city. Again, her world completely turned upside down. The Cabal knew Tom was her ex-husband, shown during the Harbormaster trial. So at a time when she’s running from her government, and in possession of evidence that could clear her name, she not only chooses to stop on Tom’s boat long enough to have sex with him - she trusts the Cabal won’t search for her on his boat? A boat the Cabal certainly should’ve checked, given Tom’s willingness to strike a deal to protect her during the Harbormaster trial. So the Cabal knew of his willingness to protect her from prison in 2x16, but they didn’t believe he’d be willing to protect her from prison in 2x22? 
I spoke with someone not long ago about the difference in Liz’s emotional state between 2x22 and 3x11. What I often refer to as the fake boat sex and the real boat sex. Two boat sex scenes? They could’ve had sex anywhere, so I felt that was a purposeful double. Sex with Tom made her feel filthy, stated in 1x19. In 2x22, she wouldn’t feel filthy. She was framed and fighting like hell to clear her name. In 3x11, a different story. She shot and killed the AG. A felon, a pariah, everyone hates her. In Eli Matchett’s episode, asked Red if she’s a good person. In 3x11, what difference would more filth make - the way she felt about herself? 
Timeline, current storyline, current characters.
Liz being framed by the Cabal in S2 and the choas it brought. Dembe, Kaplan, Caul, and the Director - those were the suspects I considered but quickly disregarded. Why? Because it would’ve been completely out of character for both Dembe and Kaplan. And I don’t care nor bother to consider what anyone has to say about Kate. Not only is there no evidence to support her taking Liz to Dr. Krilov, she wouldn’t have done it. I don’t even believe she would’ve done it during her war against Red. Not the very woman who spoke of Red holding Liz physically and emotionally hostage. Caul had no reason. The Director wouldn’t get close enough, and even if he had, it would’ve been for the Fulcrum. 
An additional consideration of mine, the shooting of Tom Connolly. Everything brought to the surface of Liz’s memory during her Braxton recall required medications administered by Dr. Orchard. Before then, the bunny causing her to have flashbacks of the fire and the smoke. Dr. Orchard’s drugs weren’t enough, they didn’t help her remember the shooting. So what caused her to remember when she shot Tom Connolly? Perhaps more drugs than her body could handle. Dr. Krilov stated that she wasn’t as pliable as Ressler. Her manipulation required more. More time, more effort, more drugs. Drugs that would completely induce her, which is how I’d describe Liz during Connolly’s shooting. Perhaps that’s why Tom told her to “slow down.” She was high. Her eyes, her speech, her body language and very demeanor. She looked like a zombie when she shot Connolly. 
How Tom taking Liz to get her memory manipulated in S2 could and would impact current storyline in S7. Keenler baby would be the biggest to impact, and for obvious reasons. With this impact, add in Agnes’ unicorn foreshadow. Liz’s actions over these past two seasons combined with Keenler baby. In 5B, she raged war against Garvey to avenge Tom’s death, dropping bodies in her search for justice and the truth he died for her to learn. In S6, placing Red in prison because of the truth Tom died for her to learn, and her search for more answers. 
The mutual acquaintance and what memories were taken.
Tom fulfills every requirement, would have reason - as well as opportunity. He’d take the risk as he was known to do. And as I’ll show through dialogue, would betray both Red and Liz. 
Tom: To protect her. Denner: The woman you spent the last two years of your life betraying?
Tom: To see you sitting there after I’d betrayed your trust, gone to work for Berlin, I was terrified.
Tom’s willingness to betray Red, shown again in S5 with the suitcase. Red surviving that S2 gunshot to his chest would leave Tom feeling the need to hide “a certain truth about Raymond Reddington.” Most importantly, this specific act fits his character best. I’m talking about S1 Tom committing a S2 act. Manipulative, abusive to the point he held a gun to her head. That’s why I laughed when Kate spoke of Red holding Liz physically hostage. 
More impacts for S7. Liz and what she said to Red when she admitted to having him arrested. How she cared about losing him. Imagine them throwing that parallel into one season. Liz learning the truth Tom erased from her memory being coupled with her own. Her choices helped place the lethal injection into Red’s arm, Tom's choices helped place the bullet into Red’s chest. That’s the “certain truth” I believe Dr. Krilov wiped from her memory. Couple this with the frame parallel. Katarina helping to frame Raymond Reddington, Tom helping The Director frame Liz by taking part in the attempt on Red’s life. 
That's what a twist does. That’s what a twist should do. No other character can offer that. 
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aion-rsa ¡ 6 years ago
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Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - Complete DC Comics Easter Eggs and Reference Guide
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Your complete guide to DC Comics references, Justice League movie hints, and DCEU Easter eggs in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice!
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Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice
Mar 22, 2019
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Wonder Woman
This article contains nothing but Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and DCEU spoilers. 
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is the second movie in the DC Extended Universe series, which began with Man of Steel, and continued in the Wonder Woman movie, will continue further with the Justice League movie, and more. As a result, it's positively packed with references to DC Comics, and hints about the future of the DC Extended Universe.
Here's our complete and spoiler-filled breakdown of everything you might have missed in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.
Batman's Origin
- Just as Man of Steel opened with Superman's origin (his literal birth, in fact), so does Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice open with Batman's origin story. Thank heavens for that, because if we don't see what motivated young Bruce Wayne to become the Batman, we might never know! That is, of course, a joke.
While Batman first appeared in Detective Comics #27 in 1939, we didn't see his actual origin until a two-page segment in Detective Comics #33. To make up for that six month gap, DC Comics and their media partners are now contractually obligated to re-tell Batman's origin in some form, whether it's in the comics, on the screen, or via finger puppets, every six months in perpetuity. That's not true, but it sometimes feels that way.
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The visual inspiration for this origin sequence is, like many things in the film, taken from Frank Miller, Klaus Janson, and Lynn Varley's seminal The Dark Knight Returns, which was first published in 1986. Things like the mustachioed Thomas Wayne and the string of pearls caught on the barrell of the gun are right out of there, as well as the (dream?) sequence where young Bruce is surrounded by bats after accidentally discovering the bat cave.
Watch Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice on Amazon
The Waynes leave the movie theater after a revival screening of the 1940 version of The Mark of Zorro starring Tyrone Power. That particular Zorro film holds up really well, is a great watch, and feels like a superhero movie before there was ever really any such thing. Totally worth your time. I also believe that The Dark Knight Returns was where it was first revealed that this was the film the Waynes saw on that fateful night.
You can also spot Excalibur on the marquee, which is John Boorman's highly stylized, overly serious 140-minute take on the King Arthur legend (sounds like another movie we know), here to help illustrate that this sequence takes place in 1981. Excalibur feels like a very long film at 140 minutes. Batman v Superman, on the other hand, feels even longer than its 153 minute run time.
We wrote lots more on John Boorman's Excalibur right here, if you want to learn more about this crazy movie.
I owe a special thanks to Peter in the comments for catching this next little detail, Excalibur is listed as "coming next Wednesday." Now, aside from the fact that the movie actually opened on Friday, April 10th, 1981, "coming next Wednesday" is still pretty significant. First of all, new comic books come out every Wednesday, so this is a nod to that.
The Justice League can be seen as a modern day Knights of the Round Table. Couple that with the fact that the Excalibur movie is "coming soon" (and on a Wednesday, no less!) it's kind of an in-joke about how the Justice League movie is next on the schedule. That's pretty cool.
There's more on Excalibur coming down below, just be patient...
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- Visible in the Wayne graveyard is the name "Solomon." Solomon Wayne was Bruce's Great, Great, Great Grandfather. When the Batman comics decided they wanted their Gotham City to look a little bit more like Anton Furst's Gotham designs from Tim Burton's Batman movies, a story was crafted to make it happen, and Solomon Wayne was part of that.
- It's also worth noting that this movie marks the first time we've seen Bill Finger's name in the opening credits of a Batman movie. That's a huge deal, as Finger was a major creative driving force behind Batman and his supporting cast, but for years, Bob Kane took all the credit. We have a little bit more about Bill Finger's bat-legacy right here.
The Supporting Characters
- Anatoli Knyazev is known to comic book fans as (wait for it) the KGBeast, because he was created in 1988 when that was what you named these kinds of villains. Anatoli has appeared in non-beastly form on a number of episodes of Arrow, as well. He first appeared in a story called "Ten Nights of the Beast" which is a pretty cool read if you can track it down.
- The photographer who is apparently working for the CIA during Lois' misadventure in the desert is played by Argo's Michael Cassidy. And yes, as credited and as revealed in the film's Ultimate Edition, he is indeed Jimmy Olsen. "Superman's Pal" is promptly and brutally murdered. So, yeah, you can forget about that little piece of Superman mythology in the DC Extended Universe, as well. Read more about Mr. Snyder's comments on the matter here.
- Alfred Pennyworth first appeared in 1943's Batman #16. Like most enduring Batman characters, he was created by Bob Kane, Bill Finger, and Jerry Robinson. Alfred cut a rather different figure in his early appearances, and through the years he has become more of an aggressively badass figure. 
Lex Luthor
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- Lex Luthor has been around since Action Comics #23 in 1940 (you'll note that at the end of the movie, his prisoner number is AC23-1940), and as we see here, he had lustrous red hair. Later appearances alternately identified Lex as a shortening of Alexander or Alexei, and even later appearances revealed he was a childhood friend of Clark Kent, before a lab accident stole his luscious locks.
read more: The Actors Who Have Played Lex Luthor
- Lex Luthor's prison garb has the prisoner number of 16-TK421. TK421 is a reference to Star Wars when Luke and Han took on Stormtrooper disguises. You know, "TK421, why aren't you at your post?" Batman v Superman and The Force Awakens were tweaking each other with little social media crossovers during filming, but it appears this is the only one of those in-jokes made it to film.
Also, while orange prison jumpsuits certainly aren't just a DC Universe thing, Lex was looking a bit like Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely's vision of the character from All-Star Superman in this scene.
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The Lex of this film is "Alexander Luthor, Jr." Which means his father's name isn't "Lionel" as it was in the Smallville TV series or a handful of the comics that followed. Something tells me that Alex Sr. didn't die of natural causes.
Luthor has been something of a jerk-of-all-trades during his career, from straight mad scientist to captain of industry to President of the United States. I wrote much more about that stuff right here.
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Mercy Graves is Lex Luthor's bodyguard, a super strong badass, although you don't see any of that in this movie. Mercy was first introduced in Superman: The Animated Series where she had considerably more to do than she does in this film, and has recently appeared on the Supergirl TV series.
Kryptonite
Let's get into a few notes about Kryptonite...
- It's amazing that Man of Steel went an entire movie without going down the Kryptonite road, but we do finally get it here. Kryptonite was actually a creation of the (awesome) Adventures of Superman radio show, a necessary plot device so that original Man of Steel Bud Collyer could take a vacation from the radio show's punishing, almost daily schedule. For weeks, Superman was played by another actor, who was only required to groan in agony while Supes was at the mercy of the alien mineral.
- Here's something I never would have noticed (thanks to JACS in the comments!). Ralph Lister is credited as Emmett Vale, and he isn't the guy who finds the hunk of Kryptonite in the Indian Ocean as I initially thought, but he appears in Lex Luthor's laboratory. Dr. Vale is the creator of Metallo, the cyborg with the Kryptonite heart who would be a great choice to give Superman a headache if we were ever going to get another Superman solo movie, but since who knows if that will ever happen, well...forget it.
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The way Kryptonite looks in this movie is a little like how it was shown in Superman: The Movie. Later in that film, when Supes is debilitated by the effects of Batman's Kryptonite spear, Lois chucks it in the water to get it away from him. That kinda' reminds me of the Supes/Miss Teschmacher exchange from the end of that movie, too.
Speaking of that Kryptonite spear, wireman (cool handle, by the way) in the comments found this little gem from the comics, that I wasn't aware of:
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The Dark Knight Returns Influences
In The Dark Knight Returns, a comic which obviously has influenced this movie quite heavily, when Batman first returns to action he lends a hand to two cops in pursuit of suspects, one who isn't old enough to remember Batman in action, and one veteran who advises him to chill out and enjoy the show.
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The rookie cop and the veteran cop, who Batman encounters while out whupping ass, remind me a little bit of this pair from Dark Knight Returns:
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It can also be noted that this exchange played out much the same way in 2012's The Dark Knight Rises when Christian Bale's Batman first returns from retirement, much like in the iconic Frank Miller graphic novel.
By the way, the two officers in question are named "Officer Rucka" and "Officer Mazzucchelli." Greg Rucka was the writer of the excellent Gotham Central comic, and David Mazzucchelli was the artist on Frank Miller's other great Batman story, Batman: Year One. 
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The news montage (which, rather surprisingly, features a cameo by Andrew Sullivan!) is another nod to The Dark Knight Returns, which helped set up its near-future vision of the DCU via TV news clips. You may recognize some of the anti-superhero sentiment from these, as well. Also, we get the return of Glen Woodburn from Man of Steel, too.
read more: Ranking the Superman Movies
- Alfred's quote about "the next generation of Waynes" facing "an empty wine cellar" is lifted straight out of The Dark Knight Returns. You're going to read words very much like that a lot in the course of this article.
While most Batman costumes are fairly similar in essence, the proportions and lines on this particular version are also right out Frank Miller's artwork: 
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Pretty cool, right?
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The bit with Batman sighting a rifle atop a tower calls to mind still more stuff from Dark Knight Returns, albeit there it was a "grappling hook" gun, while here it's to fire a tracer.
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- Also, I don't suppose that I need to explain Bruce's "freaks dressed like clowns" joke, right? Of course I don't.
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The shot of Superman lifting the Russian rocket (numbered 300 of course) over his head has a hint of this page from The Dark Knight Returns to it...
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Batman's opening gambit in his fight with Superman is to hit him with a sonic blast, this (again) is straight out of Dark Knight Returns. Same with the Kryptonite dust/gas projectile.
There are lots of other direct similarities to the comics in that battle, too...
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Look familiar? Check out that first panel on the left!
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That armor looks pretty familiar too:
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You get the idea, I'm sure.
- When Batman shows up to take out the KGBeast, the action comes right out of the first chapter of (say it with me now, kids!) The Dark Knight Returns. Batman bursts up out of the floor to whup ass. Batman bursts through the wall to take a giant honkin' gun from some dude. Batman says "I believe you" after armed asshat says "believe me, I'll kill her" and then takes him out. All from DKR. Just change the names of the goons.
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During the Doomsday battle, complete with lightning bolts, we get a recreation of the cover of The Dark Knight Returns #1. No, seriously, check it out...
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Told ya.
Also in Dark Knight Returns, Bruce is often brooding over a Robin costume in a glass case, and Alfred reminds him about "what happened to Jason..." which brings us to...
The Robin Connection
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Needless to say, there's only one character who would have spray painted that on Robin's body, so this mirrors the events of the 1988 Batman comic event, "A Death in the Family," which allowed readers to decide (via a 1-900 number... those were different times) whether the second Robin would survive a brutal beating (with a crowbar) at the hands of the Joker and a subsequent warehouse explosion.
It's tough to really see the colors on this, and they're certainly muted, but the basic design certainly mirrors that of the first Tim Drake Robin costume, which also happened to be the first one in the main DC Universe continuity that looked genuinely badass.
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It was designed by legendary Bat-artist Neal Adams and first brought to comics by Norm Breyfogle (thanks to our very own JL Bell for keeping me honest here!) and remains one of my favorite costume designs of all time. You can see Jason Todd's Robin costume in a similar glass case in the above image, as well.
It's never made clear which Robin this is supposed to be in the movie, but it's certainly Jason Todd. After all, there's a Nightwing movie in development and they can't do that if Dick Grayson is dead.
Zack Snyder clarified that whoever this Robin is, he died about ten years ago. He later specified that it's probably Dick Grayson. But since we know that this version of Batman has been active for at least 15 years (Alfred says 20), and that's about enough time for this to line up with the Jason Todd version of the character.
The Knightmare
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During Batman's weird little nightmare/dream sequence, you can spot several clues as to the identity of the big villain of the DCEU. There's a gigantic Omega symbol in the sand, and Earth appears to have had fire pits (ala the planet Apokolips) installed.
Couple that with what appeared to be Parademons attacking the Dark Knight, and, well... it's looking more and more likely that Darkseid, Jack Kirby's most famous DC Comics creation (and one of the greatest comic book villains of all time) was supposed to make his debut in Justice League 2.
The strange symbol carved into the desert there is Darkseid's, while the winged creatures flying around are his Parademon minions...
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For reference, here's what they look like when drawn by Jim Lee in the New 52 Justice League re-launch, which featured Darkseid as the team's first big threat, and which was clearly meant to inform their film efforts...
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Also, the sharp-eyed JACS (who is quickly becoming the MVP of the comments on this thing) pointed out the similarities to Batman's Mad Max garb here and the nightmarish future Batman that Damian Wayne becomes during Grant Morrison's run as writer on the character.
Doomsday
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  - Doomsday was created by Dan Jurgens, Brett Breeding, Jerry Ordway, Louise Simonson, and Roger Stern in 1992 with the express purpose of killing Superman dead and driving up sales. He succeeded in all possible respects in Superman #75.
Doomsday's Kryptonian origins weren't revealed until much later, although he was never a Frankenstein's Monster version of Zod, nor did he have Lex Luthor's DNA, nor did he... ummm... you get the point. But the idea of Doomsday as a highly evolved/continuously evolving killing machine came right out of the comics, as does the "he grows more spikes as he takes damage" thing.
- When Superman and Doomsday take their battle to Stryker's Island, we're told it's uninhabited. In the comics, Stryker's Island is the home of a massive Metropolis penitentiary. Clearly that isn't the case here...unless in the bleak moral universe of the DCEU, the inhabitants of a prison are completely expendable forms of human life.
- Superman getting caught in a nuclear explosion, becoming a weird zombified thing, and then charging up/healing via the power of the sun comes straight out of a particular Batman story that has been referenced numerous times throughout this article... you have three guesses. Go ahead. Guess. 
-Superman flying to almost certain death while carrying a Kryptonian object (albeit a much smaller one) also calls back to mind a similar storytelling beat from the end of Superman Returns.
- Lex Luthor in Zod's old ship, talking to the AI, feels similar to Lex's infiltration of the Fortress of Solitude in Superman II.
- Luthor using the ship to turn Zod's body into Doomsday is also quite reminiscent (intentionally or not) of Kevin Spacey's Lex Luthor using Kryptonian crystals to make a giant Kryptonite continent in Superman Returns.
Also, when Lex is talking to Zod's corpse (oofah), he says "you flew too close to the sun." This is a reference to the myth of Icarus, which doesn't remotely seem to apply to anything regarding Zod's arc. Unless he means "you flew too close to the son," as in "The Last Son of Krypton," but somehow I don't think that much thought went into this scene.
read more: Complete Schedule of Upcoming DCEU Superhero Movies
- Lex didn't create Doomsday in the comics, but in many recent versions of the story, Lex did create Bizarro, notably as an imperfect Kryptonian duplicate. There's a little bit of a similarity to that here. Bizarro is, of course, not in the movie, despite some hilariously inaccurate rumors.
Miscellaneous Cool Stuff
- Clark bringing Lois flowers and groceries is faintly reminiscent of their brief shot at domestic bliss in Superman II where Superman famously cooked Lois a souflee using heat vision, and flew around the world to get her some nice tropical flowers. This scene also illustrates the age old Supes/Lois problem, where she knows that he "belongs to the world" and not to her.
- Pery White refers to Clark as "Smallville" more than once in the film. That was Lois Lane's affectionate/condescending nickname for Clark on Superman: The Animated Series, which is an excellent way to spend your time, I might add.
Later, while admonishing Clark for actually, y'know, wanting to be a reporter and tell the truth, Perry says, "It's not 1938 anymore." 1938 is, of course, the year that Action Comics #1, the first appearance of Superman, was published. In other words, here's Perry White speaking for Zack Snyder, telling fans to stop whining over the fact that Superman doesn't behave very much like Superman in these movies.
- It appears that the Metropolis News channel, Channel 8, is indeed a GBS/Galaxy Broadcasting affiliate station. You can also spot a GBS microphone during a press conference later on, which is perhaps representative of their cable outlet or something similar.
- You can spot a mention of Gotham's Blackgate Prison when Clark is doing his investigation into Batman. 
Incidentally, the Ultimate Edition has a lot more going on as far as Clark's investigative reporting, and that along with Henry Cavill's performance remind me quite  abit of the better moments of the 1950s Adventures of Superman TV series. George Reeves routinely played Clark has a hard-edged reporter, and Cavill definitely channels some of that here.
read more - Men of Steel: 11 Actors Who Have Played Superman on Screen
- Bruce Wayne's "one percent chance" logic is childish and horrifying, and sounds like something Donald Trump would say about immigrants. It certainly was the logic that Dick Cheney used to condone "enhanced interrogation techniques."
- You can spot "Nicholson Terminal," which the Batmobile obliterates. Maybe this is a nod to Jack Nicholson's iconic take on the Joker. Maybe it isn't. Does this movie really ever make sense?
- When Senator Finch is asked "Must there be a Superman" well, that's a reference to a classic Superman tale. Not just any classic Superman story, either. The first published Superman story by Supes-writer extraordinaire, Elliott S! Maggin (that's not a typo) in Superman #247 from 1972. That story is far more nuanced and interesting in its 24 pages than this movie in its two and a half hours, and it's 100 percent worth reading.
- There's a pretty hilarious Wilhelm Scream when the Batmobile overturns some poor hood's car.
- Ma Kent's "you don't owe this world a thing" speech marks the return of evil, dystopian, Hunger Games Smallville logic to the series. For real, is it any wonder that the DCEU's Clark Kent is such a brooding mope? Between stuff like this and hallucination Pa Kent telling Clark about the time he drowned a bunch of horses by accident, it's a miracle that Superman isn't just snapping necks like... oh, wait, he already did that.
read more: Does Superman Have a Future in the DCEU?
- Hey, remember when the internet said that Scoot McNairy was playing Hal Jordan/Jimmy Olsen/Ted Kord/Morgan Edge/Che Guevara/Spider-Man/Ad Nauseum? Yeah. That didn't happen. He's Wallace Keefe, a character we've never heard of. The only Keef I give a damn about is Richards.
- Ma Kent is now working at Rolli's Diner. Now, there's two smaller Lex Luthor stories from the comics that Rolli's ties into. Superman #9 (1987) featured a backup story called "Metropolis, 900 miles" which dealt with Lex Luthor offering a kind of "indecent proposal" to a waitress at Rolli's.
Lex's kidnapping of Martha Kent is also kinda' like a story from Superman #2 (1987) where he kidnapped Lana Lang after he figured out that young Superman had ties to Smallville. He ended up figuring out that Superman was Clark Kent but refused to believe it. 
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- In the background during these scenes there's a prominent piece of question mark graffiti, which may or may not be a reference to the Riddler. There's some "Who Watches the Watchmen?" graffiti (not in this image), too.
- Lois boards a red helicopter on the Daily Planet rooftop, which reminds me of the best scene in the best Superman movie, the immortal Superman: The Movie. 
The Justice League Connection
- So, in case you cannot tell because he's almost unrecognizable, the lightning tornado dream sequence echo voice thing is the DC Extended Universe version of The Flash (and that's Ezra Miller in the role). The Flash appearing in mysterious form, kind of like a dream, and possibly from a different point in time, is very much a reference to Crisis on Infinite Earths where Flash was appearing to various heroes trying to warn them of what was to come while he was busy dying later in the story fighting the very same threat.
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Flash also seems to be teasing something about Lois Lane being "the key." If Bruce is right about Superman, that means Flash is speaking to Bruce from a time in the future where Superman has become a threat, perhaps because of the death of Lois Lane...or maybe Lois is the key to turning him good again, or bringing him back to life.
This could be a reference to the Injustice: Gods Among Us video game and comics, which features a morally compromised DC Universe where heroes fight each other and Superman is a terrible person. So, you know, that sounds awfully familiar all of a sudden, doesn't it?
We wrote more about the Injustice comics right here, if you're interested. I'm saving some more about the implications of this for another article, too.
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- I'm sure you all realized that was Jason Momoa as Aquaman during the underwater sequence, right? His look here is reminiscent of how he appeared on the excellent Justice League animated series and his mid-90s makeover.
- The weird horror movie/RoboCop sequence is the origin of Cyborg, played by Ray Fisher, who made his next appearance in Justice League. He was scheduled to get his own movie in 2020, but that no longer appears to be happening.
read more: Every DCEU Easter Egg in the Aquaman Movie
One cool thing about that scene is that the weird cube thing that apparently makes the Cyborg project successful is a Mother Box, which makes this the film's second overt Jack Kirby reference, and the imminent arrival of Steppenwolf as the villain of Justice League. 
Wonder Woman
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- By the way, Wonder Woman first appeared in All Star Comics #8 in 1941, but the Wonder Woman in this movie is even older than that. Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman garb is reminiscent of how artists like Alex Ross drew her in Kingdom Come and Darwyn Cooke did in New Frontier to make her look more like the warrior princess she's traditionally depicted as.
You can also spot Chris Pine as Steve Trevor in that photo from 1918 and the rest of his World War I crew that we got to meet in her movie.
Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman performance is even better with a little more context after seeing her in action in her solo flick. For example, I only just noticed how immediately bored/disgusted she is with Lex Luthor when he's giving his little speech at the party. She sees right through him. It's awesome.
The Death of Superman
A few notes about the "death" of Superman...
I have to admit, this is really cool. Remember all the Excalibur stuff up top? It's back! A few of you sharp-eyed folks pointed out the similarities to this scene in Boorman's flick, and they are undeniable...
Video of Excalibur Mordred's death
- When you see his body cradled by Lois Lane, it's a nod to Dan Jurgens and Brett Breeding's art from Superman #75.
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- In the Ultimate Edition, before Lex is captured, he's seen communing with a mysterious figure on the ship. This is likely Steppenwolf, the villain of the Justice League movie, although there's a slight chance it's Yuga Khan, the father of Darkseid. But really, it's probably Steppenwolf.
- Ending on "Amazing Grace" and an ambiguous/hopeful note is more than a little reminiscent of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, which featured the death of Spock. Superman has somehow managed to show even less emotion and seemed even more alien than Spock ever did in this franchise so far, so it's really, really appropriate.
- You can see the weird little telekinetic effect that was used to show that Superman's powers were about to manifest in Man of Steel. So, y'know, of course he's not dead. 
I explained the implications of Superman's death and the ending of this movie in greater detail here.
- Superman's coffin is black with a silver "S" logo. When Superman returned from the dead during the Death and Return of Superman story in the '90s, he wore a black suit with a silver "S" on it.
- By the way, it's worth noting that Warner Bros. has been trying to kill Superman on screen since at least 1995. Virtually every draft of every Superman movie of the last twenty years featured some form of Superman getting croaked (occasionally at the hands of Doomsday), while most others at least teased, it, too...including Superman Returns.
- To bring things full circle, I should also bring up the fact that The Dark Knight Returns also ends a "death" albeit Batman's (he isn't really dead, either). That hopeful ending involves Superman overhearing Bruce's heartbeat. Some folks claim they can hear a heartbeat as we zoom in on Clark's coffin, and that's another DKR reference for you!
Mike Cecchini is the Editor in Chief of Den of Geek. You can read more of his work here. Follow him on Twitter @wayoutstuff.
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The “film look” in digital - what I’ve learned so far
Let me start this article by addressing the elephant in the room: if you want a real authentic film look, shoot film! There’s just no way around that, no matter how close you can get with digital these days, there’s something about film that digital just can’t touch. I’ve been shooting film sporadically over the last couple of years and I still get a big ol’ smile on my face when I get the scans back from the lab, it’s a very different kind of reward than the immediacy of digital. Plus, the experience of shooting film has been extremely helpful for my digital photography - shooting with an old film camera forces you to slow down, learn the basics of the exposure triangle and focus on composition, as opposed to navigating through menus and letting the camera decide all of the settings for you.  
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My trusted Canon A1 ready for summer vacations
But of course there are a large number of practical reasons for shooting digital, and at least for my needs and reality shooting film exclusively is just not an option. I shoot digital 95% of the time, but I always strive to make my photos look as “organic” and close to film as possible, because that’s the aesthetic I like the most.
For the purpose of writing this article I’ve questioned myself where does my fascination with film come from, and I guess it’s probably due to the fact that all of my childhood and teenage memories where shot on film. When I think about film I think about long summer vacations, family get-togethers and embarrassing haircuts - in other words, instant nostalgia! And that’s the kind of warm-fuzzy feelings that I want to associate with my photos, so basically ever since I got my first mirrorless camera back in 2015 that has always been my reference.
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The first roll of film I ever shot when I was around 10, with a tiny plastic 110mm film camera
Over the course of these last 3 years trying to emulate film I’ve tried dozens of different presets for Lightroom, some of them really good, but quickly discovered that these will only get you halfway there. If you apply a film-preset to a perfect digital image file, in most cases you'll end up with a perfect digital image with some vintage tones, but there’s much more to film than that! There are a lot of “imperfections” that come from the limitations imposed by the gear used and the film itself, which have been eliminated in modern digital cameras and just can't be introduced in post-editing.
The best way I’ve found to mimic these imperfections is to actually impose some of those same limitations when shooting digital, so here’s a few tips on how to do that:
1. Use vintage lenses
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Modern lens are amazing pieces of technology. Most of them offer perfect corner to corner sharpness, great anti-flare coatings, amazing contrast, you name it. But if you're going for that 70s / 80s consumer film look, that's pretty much the opposite of what you need! Lenses back then where far from the perfection we know today, the consumer photography market was booming and there were a lot of different brands coming up with different designs, new materials, new focusing systems, etc. As a result, each lens had its very particular set of characteristics and quirks (sometimes design flaws, really) that got imprinted into every photo taken and ultimately defined its character. A perfect example of this are the Helios 44M lenses: these Russian copies of the Carl Zeiss Biotar became famous for a design flaw that resulted in a very unusual swirly bokeh. Earlier models displayed this effect very pronouncedly, but as they improved the design in subsequent versions that particular characteristic was lost, and that’s why the earlier models are the most sought after nowadays.
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That classic Helios 44M-4 swirly bokeh
The good news is that these old manual lenses are (for the most part) dirt cheap and you can use them on mirrorless cameras with a simple plastic adapter, so you can get that specific look they were known for without any need for Instagram filters or post-processing magic! In my next article I'll go into more detail about these vintage lenses and how to use them.
2. Use manual focus
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One of the biggest innovations in photography in the late 70s/early 80s was the invention of autofocus. Before that cameras were limited to manual focus, and even when the first AF systems were introduced to the consumer market they were rudimentary at best. Chances are that if you look at your film photos from that period, half of them will be slightly out of focus (or completely out of focus, depending on the competence of the photographer! ;)) But that’s not a bad thing at all, I feel that in most cases it only adds to the nostalgic feeling and can sometimes create an additional layer of mystery.
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The missed focus on this one gives it a timeless feel
So if you want that classic film look, switch to manual focus on your modern digital camera or use an old manual lens. Don't be afraid to miss focus sometimes, this was something that took me quite a while to realize and “accept”, and I only did so thanks to shooting film. Some of my favorite photos shot on film are pretty out of focus!
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Blurry? Definitely, but the fact that you can’t distinguish their faces makes this so much more universal
3. Use slow shutter speeds
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Another limitation of film is the maximum ISO speed available, or Asa as it was called originally. Nowadays our digital cameras have incredibly high ISO sensitivities, but on film the maximum you get is 3200, though most consumer films are rated at 200 or 400 Asa. This means that to get a proper exposure on film you have to use much lower shutter speeds than on digital to get enough light, and as a result motion blur is highly likely. Personally, I love some blur, as it gives a sense of movement to an otherwise static medium. One of my favorite all time photographers, Anton Corbijn, shot many of the world’s most famous bands and musicians on film using slow-shutter speeds, to get some movement in the frame and that extra grit!
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The subway rush - shot on a Huawei P10 smartphone
If you wanna try this out, I would advise to start with 1/30th of a second, look at the results and then adjust as necessary. If you’re shooting in bright sunlight this probably won’t work unless you use a neutral density, but again experimentation in the key. 
A little extra tip: smartphones are actually great for this if you turn off the flash, as their small lens aperture and tiny sensor force slower shutter speeds to compensate.
4. Use High-ISOs for authentic film-like grain
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This tip is in direct contradiction with the previous one (unless you’re shooting in really low-light), so usually you’ll have to choose between one or the other. It is also a tip specific to the Fuji X series cameras, as I haven’t tested other brands in this particular aspect.
I’m a big fan of grainy photos, it’s one of my favorite things about film. But the technology in digital cameras these days is so good that in most scenarios you’ll get perfectly clean images straight out of the camera. Even though image-editing software has also evolved tremendously in the past few years and can deliver very believable grain simulations, I’ll be the first to admit that it’s not the same as the real deal and it also feels kinda like cheating to be adding fake grain. That’s where the Fuji X-trans sensors come in, in particular their latest iteration X-trans III.
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My furry friend shot at ISO 12800
The ACROS film simulation when used with high-ISOs of 6400 and above produces some digital noise that, to my eyes, is very very close to real Black and White film grain - and the best part is that you’re not adding anything fake in post-processing, it’s a real side-effect of ISO just like with real film! So most of the times when I want to shoot in Black & White I’ll use my own Acros custom setting at 12800 ISO and use the SOOC jpegs. This technique also works with color film simulations, but not so well in my opinion.
5. Post-process your photos accordingly
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Different films have different characteristics, so it’s important to decide exactly what film look are you going for and learn a bit more about what defines it. Is it a low-contrast or a high-contrast film? saturated or muted? Fine grain or heavy grain? These things will help you understand what you can do in post-processing to get closer to that film look, and most of them are very simple to adjust. Where it gets a bit more complicated is getting the right tones to match the original film stock, but with some investigation and patience it can be done.
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Going for that warm Kodak vibe
Of course if you want to save time you can just buy one of the many film presets out there! Like I said in the beginning of this article they will get you close to the original film tones, so if your base digital file already contains some “imperfections” introduced with the techniques above, it’s as close as you’ll get to the real thing. You can also use in-camera film simulation settings to mimic some film types, which I already covered in my previous article.
Can you tell which is which?
These are some of the techniques I’ve learned by trial and error mostly, I hope you’ll find them useful if the film look is your thing too. I can’t stress enough that the best thing you can do is to actually shoot film whenever possible, not only it will be great fun but it will surely improve your digital photography as well.
Let’s end this with a fun little game: can you tell which of the photos below are film and which are digital? No cheating looking in the exif data, I’ll post the results in a couple of days! ;)
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pheebs03-blog ¡ 7 years ago
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How has the use of photography sexualised women?
Sexualisation of the female body is a common theme within our society, and therefore extremely important to me as a young woman. It is defined in the Collins dictionary that ‘sexualisation’ is ‘to sexualise someone or something or to consider them in a sexual way’ (2017).  I personally became interested in the sexual portrayal of women when I moved to an all-boys school, from an all-girls school. I realised that the way I dressed and presented myself was more important now I was surrounded by the opposite sex. Therefore when choosing a project that’s personal, I chose the aspect of my life which constantly affects me, and other young women on a daily bases whether those around us are conscious or unconscious of this act.
To me the sexualising of women has a lot to do with people, especially men, stereotyping women. In that the main focus in my opinion appears to be the manner in which men perceive how women present themselves.  With this in mind I would like to explore how and why women are sexualised and how we can alter a photograph to change the view ‘as people’. Exploring this will allow me to be able to alter a photograph with the aim to focus on the beauty within the subject of the photographs, instead of only on the ‘outside’ by this I mean the physical appearance. I feel being born as a millennial and being surrounded by constant social media showing off and exploiting women of all ages, professions and ethnicity is playing a big part in attracting me to this topic.
To this end want to use high contrast within my photos such as is explored within Film Noir. The casting of shadows and the increased brightness of the lighting comes into play in order to allow me to explore and express nuances within my topic. I would like to better understand how stillness within the background can enhance the narrative within the frame and highlight the beauty of the shape and form of women in subtle yet strong image.
In researching the historical context it appeared that women lost their legal status around the 1800’s when they got married. Once stripped of their legal status a husband was legally allowed to decide where and how to live, to beat his wife, and even lock her up if he wished too. These ghastly actions, by men, which were deemed as normal in the 1800’s have impacted our society and treatment of women drastically. I find this historical ‘norm’ challenging for me as it appear that men stripping women of their power is no different to men stripping women of their dignity, of their clothes, and disrespecting them in this present day. 
In literature a light into a world of women through the words of Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters, appear to glorify their lives as young women. Emily Bronte however in contrast to published works, wrote to Jane Eyre recounting her life as a strong willed orphan whom grows up with her arrogant, violent cousin and his sisters, in the custody of her mean disapproving aunt. She grows up and still voices her opinions of a woman, however she is in the shadow of men throughout the whole book. Reading these books today have an unexpected effect upon our minds of today, not realising the treatment of women is constantly being spoken about, expressed within these books and standards of treatment constantly get better and worse throughout the years.
Ernest Jones Bellocq, Eve Arnold and Norman Parkinson are two such photographers who captured images of celebrities; and royalty such as Marilyn Monroe, and Barbara Mullen in magazines such as Vogue. Their fashion portraits and shots demonstrate high contrast and black and white due to their time of work during the 50’s where the film and movie films dominated the style of photography. Film Noir is a type of cinematographic film style which makes by a specific mood and was popularly how detective or thriller films were made in the 1940’s/50’s. Laura Mulvey in her 1975 essay on the male gaze ‘argues that traditional Hollywood films respond to deep seated drive known as ‘scopophilia’: the sexual pleasure of looking’ which can be seen in the iconic film Rear Window (1954).
Ernest Jones Bellocq is a prime photographer to study because of his specific focus on women such as prostitutes in the early 1900’s. I find the composition of his work interesting, as the subject is mostly positioned in the centre, just off centre of the frame, allowing the eye of the viewer to focus on her body.  The chosen clothing of a vest and socks- which then highlights her body shape, and her  profession  however not necessarily herself as a person . The lighting focuses primarily on her alone, not the background; the use of this highlights her vulnerability.
Erwin Blumefield, another photographer which I’d lie to focus, study and contrast their work to Bellocqs’ because of the difference in their work. He’s a fashion photographer who worked in the early 1900’s for many fashion magazines such as Vogue. He uses subtle colour and dramatic framing to present his pieces, such as an actual photo frame, or shadows over the main subject of the photo. His fashion photography interests me because of his use of props and focus on colour which is so different to Belocqs’ black and white, high contrast shoots.
I looked into articles regarding the psychology of nakedness, to see why looking at a female body might trigger something in the brain to make the photographer position them different ways, because of it being a bare body.
These notes from LiveSciene which is written by psychologists such as Kurt Gary Joshua Knobe and Paul Bloom explain the details behind the human mind explaining what happens when they look at the female naked body.  An experiment carried out found that when men glance at ‘sexualised’ photographs of women they show reduced activation in certain parts of the brain which exhibits certain mental states. They look into how removing a piece of clothing can change one’s feeling or way of acting- it can significantly change how the mind looks at certain things, therefore how they react and interact with the subject.
 A second experiment carried out shows a photo of ‘attractive’ men and women who both had highlighting features. People were asked questions as to how the subject- X, would be capable of ‘self-control’ or ‘acting morally’. The end result exhibited that people felt that the less skin on show the more agency (control) they had in life, in relation to their actions. Whereas the more skin on show in the photos, people perceived them to have less agency in life and over their actions. These results express society’s views on the presentation and reflection of this on a person’s character and
life.
       I want to portray the style of the black and white high contrast within my photos, and the layout of film and experimental images I can make with film would work well with my project, the time period in which I’m looking at and how they took the photos back then in contrast to today. Deeper into the meaning behind the photographs, I want to explore the psychological reasons for looking at women in different ways, what effected that and what has effected that over the years to the present day. 
Firstly I explored the photographer Anton Beleodchenko, a body scape photographer. He frames the female body in unusual positions to express and explore their physicality. His high contrast and lack of colour present the figure in the simplest form as a stunning object to view.  I wanted to understand the female form in its nakedness and vulnerability before exploring it within the nature of clothing. I used a studio to set up my blank background and florescent light box to focus purely on the subject. I wanted to convey the female body as a sculpture. The body is a piece of art, and viewing it solely as a beautiful object in front of you contains true emotion behind it from the photographer and subject. My outcomes express the natural beauty within women using selected lighting and empty space. Having taken inspiration from Belovodchenko I used minimalistic backgrounds to present the subject as a piece of art for those to be free to view. My appreciation of the female form comes through my photographs by the composition and use of lighting.
  I went onto study the photographer Eve Arnold for she photographed many icons such as Marilyn Monroe, and she captured and framed women in a certain way which showed her respecting them. Her work indulged an intimacy between the camera and the subject.  For shoot two I was inspired by how she captured the subject in minimal clothing which is developed from my shoot one. I used my Cannon 100d to shoot both of these, along with one coloured  film and one black and white to keep my theme of the 50’s and Film Noir through my shoots. I captured my subject by the side of a lake, to use the idea of the Marilyn Monroe at the beach photos, in a public setting, and having my subject in minimal to no clothing. I wanted the subject not to be aware of the camera capturing their personality and presentation of themselves, forcing them to be who they really are. I then went onto edit my digital photos on Photoshop and increased the contrast and the brightness to create harsh tones to put across the black and white film Noir look of the 1950’s. The high contrast and black and white also accentuate the shape of the female body, and the creases and muscle forms of her legs to highlight parts of her body.
 In contrast, I used coloured film to accentuate Arnold’s use of media. Shoot three allowed me to explore Arnold’s Monroe shoot, presenting her in denim on the set of misfits. I enjoyed using coloured film immensely and presenting them in groups of three or four photos allowed me to convey the whole story. I also experimented with my angles for I didn’t want my subject to dominate the image, but however I want her to be the full focus on the photo without taking over the whole frame
  My fourth and fifth shoot was inspired by Norman Parkinson; a fashion photographer during the 1900’s who used women in positions and clothing that captured their beauty in interesting ways through their clothing. I used my subject in a camel tie coat to be in keeping with the style of the photographer and also looking at how the coat affects their body shape towards the camera and viewer. I edited my frames to direct attention towards the figure by selectively decreasing the brightness within the background, and increasing the brightness within the foreground. I then also used a subject in the setting of rural farm land, on a small path, wearing vintage clothing to keep Norman Parkinson’s style. I wanted to take fashion photography inspired poses during the shoots, focusing on the elegance of the subjects and how their clothing compliments their bodies and the shapes, highlighting their shapes and creases through the clothing like the skirt and the jacket, being typically a male item of clothing, I wanted to use it to cast equality and bring to attention the subject, as a woman without being obviously showing off her body. 
    Moving on from the previous shoots onto my sixth shoot looking at the fashion icons being photographed, I looked at the higher end of the spectrum. Moving on from this, I explored the high-end fashion magazine, Vogue as inspiration. The photographers known as Bruce Weber and peter Lindbergh were inspiration for this shoot. I shot with my Cannon 100d and used lighting from one side of the subject, whom was then positioned centre of the frame or to just off centre to allow the empty space around her to engage the viewer within the gaze of the subject. This gaze allows her to emit the power and challenging force form within her, expressing the stand up for women for power. The suit jacket with high heels shows the unnecessary contrast between women and men within society and how much power they have within the world. I decided to edit the images in colour emphasise the black within the frame.
    I then took the concept of high fashion into my own hands, inspired by shoot seven; I wanted to develop them into a contemporary shoot, using minimalistic background to express a woman’s power. These photos still embraced the stereotypes by using the drastic loss of clothing and selected lighting. Using a florescent light box and flash the lighting allowed the shadows to immerse the subject into darkness yet simultaneously highlighting her body as beautifully and simply as possible. These photos also highlight women’s power by wearing the suit jacket and top hat, portraying the strength within women in comparison to men and stereotypes within society.  My outcomes show beauty and strength within the use of subtle colour balance to create a faint sense of colour, accentuating the delicate feminine stereotype.  
    Within shoot eight with the same theme of high fashion magazines I focused on the glamour side of the women in magazines. By using the studio and a florescent light box on one side of the subject I was able to capture isolated images of the woman, focusing on the details of her body and her clothing, a faux fur coat, a symbol of glamour throughout time and the history of fashion. Using the coat as the only clothing allows the sexual attraction of women comes through, just as the advertisements within magazines such as vogue try to achieve. The outside shots allowed me to capture the subject within the frame, expressing the thought of glamour not being the only significant aspect in her life. Magazines promote glamour; therefore I captured that aspect of their message but developed it to promote other parts within life with mystery within body language.
        I then took photos from all of my shoots and incorporated them to create a mixed media piece to explore ways in which I can present my photos. I took a man’s shirt and used image maker to apply my images to cover the shirt. I then asked male and female subjects to be photographed in the shirt, showing the dominance and the victim behind the images on the shirts.
  Whilst exploring the sexualisation of women through photography I have been able to explore the topic through time, fashion and mixed media. I have learnt the ways in which a photograph can present a subject depending on their clothing, lighting and angles. All of the elements to the medias way of sexualising women are down to the root caused from back in the early days of paintings, the books. The books written of women in domestic roles, which then go on to develop through time to become more rebellious within their presentation of themselves through clothing and actions such as smoking.
I’ve appreciated the works of many photographers during my exploration, and understood the leap in which women have taken through the past century. Women have become stronger and grasped more power, which I hope to have conveyed in my shoots towards the end of my project, allowing a chronological order to my project. The understanding of the female body at the beginning and reading around the feminist authors such as Laura Mulvey and taking inspiration from Anton Belovodchenko was vital in starting to focus on women. To then go onto include the different clothing and how it affected it links with the chronological order of our society and history.
I hope to have highlighted many positives and negatives of sexualising women in photography through this project. I wished to show people who women really are, and to use the elements within a photograph to express these emotions, attitudes and themes through these components such as lighting, composition, empty space and props.
I feel to a degree I have successfully portrayed women beyond their appearance and more to do with who they are, as independent and nuanced human beings. In some aspects I have grasped the stereotypical understanding of women and altered it to convey their strength and power as a woman, by the use of my lighting, clothing and editing skills. However I could have gone further in developing this using irony within my setting and use of props and bystanders.
              Bibliography-
  Ernest Jones Bellocq- https://fraenkelgallery.com/artists/ej-bellocq
Glamour photography- https://www.headshotlondon.co.uk/glamour-photography/
Vogue- http://www.vogue.co.uk/gallery/ten-creative-radicals-share-perspective-change-google-pixel-2
Heen Dyden- https://helendryden.com/
Women - power, sexuality- https://www.facebook.com/glamour/videos/10155697310365479/
Objectifying women as a community- https://fstoppers.com/originals/photographing-women-sexual-manner-are-we-all-guilty-objectifying-women-112940
Bartley, P (1996) 1800’s History of Women changing through time- Women changing through history
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/states-of-undress-viceland-series
 https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/edith-sitwell
http://www.vogue.it/en/fashion/cover-fashion-stories/2017/11/06/the-state-of-undress-vogue-italia-november-2017/
https://theculturetrip.com/north-america/usa/articles/10-iconic-fashion-photographers/
American embassies- curating art, FAPE- https://www.nga.gov/audio-video/audio/curators.html
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limejuicer1862 ¡ 5 years ago
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Wombwell Rainbow Interviews
I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me. I gave the writers two options: an emailed list of questions or a more fluid interview via messenger.
The usual ground is covered about motivation, daily routines and work ethic, but some surprises too. Some of these poets you may know, others may be new to you. I hope you enjoy the experience as much as I do.
Jason O’Toole,
is a Rhylsing Award nominated poet, musician, and elder advocate. He is the author of two poetry collections published by the Red Salon, Spear of Stars (2018) and Soulless Heavens (2019). Recent work has appeared in Nixes Mate Review, The Scrib Arts Journal, The Wild Word, and Vita Brevis.
The Interview
1. What inspired you to write poetry?
From a young age, poetry has been my way of sharing thoughts and observations that could not otherwise be easily introduced into conversation. As an adult, it’s also how I process trauma and grief, from surviving shoot-outs and seeing horrible events at work, to losing contact with my children in the wake of a divorce. I don’t want to self-obsess and start every poem with “I” though and many of my current poems tell stories about the down-and-out people I encounter throughout my day, whether an addict waiting for her dealer behind a building or a disabled vet whose family never visit.
2. Who introduced you to poetry?
When I entered 4th grade I had a teacher at the Albany Academy named Mrs. Everett. She was from England and “old school” in the best way. We were given short poems to memorize and recite each week such as Carl Sandberg’s “The Fog.” If we got our assignments done, she let us read books from her library, which contained classics such as Malory’s Le Morte d’Arthur.
My family had shelves full of books. My brother and I recognized that these contained the secret to the mystical power that adults had over us. He got started on the science books, and I started reading the philosophy and poetry. I didn’t always understand what I was reading but they felt familiar to me somehow. I kept a dictionary on hand to look up the meaning of words. The first poets that I recall relating best to were e.e. cummings, T.S. Eliot, William Butler Yeats, and A.E. Housman. I also discovered William S. Burroughs way too young.
2.1. Why did you find yourself relating best to “  e.e. cummings, T.S. Eliot, William Butler Yeats, and A.E. Housman.” ?
The accessible avant-gardist e. e. cummings appealed to me as his poems were stripped down to the bone yet impactful and visually appealing. His playful, off-label use of syntax and made-up words opened up possibilities for me as a kid writing my first non-rhyming poems.
T.S Eliot was another poet that every college educated family had hanging around on their shelves. The Waste Land gave me a road map for leaving the 20th Century. It didn’t go anywhere especially good, but how could it. “Well now that’s done: and I’m glad it’s over.”
William Butler Yeats was one of the greatest magickal minds of his time. I didn’t realize this on my first reading of his poems as his occult history was almost entirely glossed over by the academics. As a kid I knew there was something pagan and exciting lurking behind the verse. I also enjoyed reading the Irish folklore he and Lady Gregory preserved. Later I would learn of his run ins with Aleister Crowley and that added to the allure.
A.E. Housman’s A Shropshire Lad was written with the gloomy adolescent male in mind. I memorized several of the poems and drew cartoons to go along with them. When The Smiths came on the scene, I immediately connected with the lyrics on the Hatful of Hollow ep which seemed to have been spawned from a similar maudlin mind.
2.2. Why did you discover “William S. Burroughs way too young”?
My grandparents had friends, Vincent and Brita, who were painters who also owned an enviable art collection which included a Picasso, purchased for half-nothing before he was famous. I would sit and read in their library, and of course the title Naked Lunch jumped out at me. I was in middle school at the time. Maybe 5th grade? The strangest fiction I had read prior to this was Madeleine L’Engle’s Time Quintet and Ursla K. Le Guin’s The Lathe of Heaven. I didn’t quite know what the hell was happening in it, but it was filthy and funny. I was hooked and read almost everything Burroughs wrote before the age of 16. I enjoyed making collage and cut-ups, some of which I published in zines I made with Sam McPheeters, and during high school, Burroughs was one of my main influences along with The Situationists International, Dr. Anton LaVey, and The Church of Subgenius in my visual art, comics, poetry and prose.
3. How aware were you of the dominating presence of older poets?
In my early teens, I’d gone on my own to hear Allen Ginsberg and Anne Waldman read, and having read Burroughs, Kerouac, Corso and others associated with them, knew that I could learn a lot from the Beats. I also knew that I would have to find my own voice. I was in absolutely no rush to do so. Though I have contributed lyrics and vocals on several underground recordings of punk and experimental music and edited Situationist and Punk zines and an academic journal (Dialectical Anthropology) I did not start seriously seeking publication of my poems until 2018. Now I am one of the older poets!
4. What is your daily writing routine?
I never know when I will be struck by the need to write a poem or story. Almost none of my poems are planned. I don’t sit down and say, “I’m going to bang out a poem about a seagull.” I might overhear a phrase in conversation, read a terrible on-line review, or have a traumatic memory resurface. I always keep a notebook on me so I can jot down whatever strikes me as worth recording. Some of these notes wind their way into poems.
Less often I will write short stories, essays, or tinker with one of my novels-in-progress. I find that speculative fiction allows me to hide real stories and people (from my work as an investigator) in plain sight and process some of my worst experiences.
5. What motivates you to write?
Poets and authors have helped me make sense of being human better than any church ever could. I hope I can help others unravel some of the mysteries, complexities and inanities of existence. For some of us, it’s a matter of survival – finding a reason to stay sober, make less terrible choices, and get through another day.
6. What is your work ethic?
Many people complain that they have no time to write. I do my best not to have unmet obligations hanging over me. I pay my bills, get the laundry done, never leave a dish in the sink. I may find other reasons to procrastinate, but at least I won’t waste time worrying about daily chores and it’s easier to write with a clean house.
7. How do the writers you read when you were young influence you today?
I feel a distinct kinship with certain poets and authors. There is a lineage that exists for writers akin to the lineages in religious orders, martial arts schools or royalty. There are poets I read in my teens and twenties who I abhor now, such as Bukowski. I still read him now and again, perhaps as a reminder of what not to be. As for my own tribe, I’ll read Corso and then follow the stream back to Shelley who defined “the pain of bliss” that both poets articulated. I’ll jump from Ignatow’s mountains and bagels, to Williams, “No ideas but in things” to Whitman’s sacred bodies, and to teenage rebel Rimbaud, and then back to where I find – myself.
8. Who of today’s writers do you admire the most and why?
Juleigh Howard-Hobson is a fellow avant-garde traditionalist. Unlike most modern poets, she is also a formalist. Despite poems written in form not being in style, she is prolifically published and has earned awards and several important nominations. She’s also published fiction and non-fiction, all while living off the grid and running a small family farm in the Pacific Northwest. As one of my mentors, Juleigh has been generous with her time and is always willing to share calls for submissions and her extensive knowledge of the small presses and poetry journals.
9. Why do you write, as opposed to doing anything else?
I am a fair guitar player, have managed to sell some of my art in galley shows, and apparently my singing is okay for what it is, but poetry is the one thing I feel I have the ability to be “the best” at if I focus more of my energy on reading, appreciating and writing poetry. It’s sometimes a solitary exercise, but there is a vibrant community out there as well. Now that I’ve been sober for three years and am not a resentment machine, I can get along fairly well with other poets and maybe even be an asset to the community.
10. What would you say to someone who asked you “How do you become a writer?”
I can only answer how one might become a writer like myself. There are many paths, and some are surely more lucrative than my own. First you must be a reader. I don’t trust poets who don’t read other poets. I believe they are only taking selfies with words.
Secondly, you must be a listener and understand that listening isn’t the opposite of talking. It’s an active role. Be a semiotician and try to understand why people are saying what they are saying. Why are they choosing certain words over others? Pay attention to tone of voice, body language and the messages that they are trying to convey with their personal style. This practice of reading the signs that people flash, has the added benefit of anticipating problems, and could save your life!
Get outside, have some adventures, mix it up with people outside of your usual circle, and observe everything. Try to spot the details that others miss. Drive to some town you’ve never been to before and spot what’s different about it from your town. What are the names on the headstones? What are the mom and pop businesses selling? Get out of the car and talk to people and ask them questions and you may learn of local legends, ghost stories, and witch’s graves.
Stay curious and be present in life. Maybe then you’ll have something interesting to tell the rest of us. People love a good story, so you have that in your favour from the start. Go find one.
11. Tell me about the writing projects you have on at the moment.
I am contributing spoken word to recordings with Herr Lounge Corps and we should have an album out before long. I am performing and recording stateside with Alec K. Redfearn, a Providence based composer of weird music. I plan on introducing and editing the collected poems of a certain forgotten female poet and occultist. Some of my weird fiction stories have been published by horror presses and I’m slowly working on a couple of novels. I’m gratified that my poems have been published in journals and anthologies around the world, that I’ve been nominated for the Rhysling Award, and that I have more than enough for a third collection when the time is right. People are reading my writing and are reaching out to tell me what it means to them. For me, that means everything.
Wombwell Rainbow Interviews: Jason O’Toole Wombwell Rainbow Interviews I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me.
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thestarwarspost ¡ 7 years ago
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Our Star Wars: The Last Jedi Trailer Mega-Reactions.
New Post has been published on https://www.starwarspost.com/star-wars-last-jedi-trailer-mega-reactions/
Our Star Wars: The Last Jedi Trailer Mega-Reactions.
It’s not often when a big event arises that you feel compelled to walk away from the keyboard. With the theatrical trailer release of Star Wars: The Last Jedi and the heaviness that ensued soon after, walking away felt like a flight response. After watching the trailer several times, it felt as if a mortar shell had gone off, leaving my brain soaked with a sort of ringing in the ears you get from a concussive wave. Like Tom Hanks character on Omaha beach during the film “Saving Private Ryan.” – my mind stumbling, everything slighted muted, confusing and surreal.
Extraction of those feelings was by design of course. The cunning and brilliant machinations of Director Rian Johnson in this fabulous trailer for the next chapter of our saga. The theme for this trailer was conveyed loud and clear; the Resistance is in serious trouble. The second act of this trilogy will see the antagonists rise and strike back in a way to remove all hope. Events will get bad – then worse, and just when you think the tide will begin to turn, it will get disastrous still. Last nights trailer conveyed that with a fast-paced score with little to no high platitudes. There will be no fuzzy Star Wars Christmas feels in this trailer, and that’s the point.
There were surprises in this marketing wonder that even caught this spoiler hound out. Like Luke climbing out of the rubble of his old Academy to Rey facing Snoke at the end. We expected excellent cinematography, and we got it in spades, with one or two shots that left us breathless. The scene of Finn and Phasma facing off in the monstrous hangers of Snoke’s capital ship, my eyes still raw, like staring too long at an eclipse.
What I did miss, however, was the supporting cast of this endeavor. Rose, Vice Admiral Holdo, DJ and exotic places like Cantonica were absent. Perhaps we will see them in the International trailer that is bound to drop in the coming days. There will also be plenty to talk about in the coming days about what we just saw, from theories to screen capture breakdowns.
This was a phenomenal trailer that served its purpose for marketing this film. It was a momentous event while engaging the nervous tick to rewatch it over and over again. It was fear laid to score, and the feeling it left us with is nothing but pure dread. Like Luke said – this will not turn out the way we think it will.
I am also delighted to share this space with these remarkable individuals and their reactions to the trailer. The comments below were taken from some of the smartest minds in the Star Wars fandom, and it’s our pleasure here at the Star Wars Post to share them with you.
  Ben Rowley (Staff Writer – The Star Wars Post)
I had the same feeling watching the trailer for The Last Jedi as I did for The Force Awakens, there so much going on that its impossible to absorb everything after the first viewing, or even the fifth. Needless to say, after 50 viewings (give or take) I’ve finally gathered my thoughts. What immediately struck me is how plot-heavy the trailer is. At first glance, it seemed like Lucasfilm was giving away the farm. So many different story beats unfolding over the course of a single trailer? That’s not the Lucasfilm way. But there’s more to this trailer than first meets the eye. The trailer opens with an ominous Snoke voiceover juxtaposed with a brooding Kylo Ren, but is Snoke talking about Kylo, or is he referring to someone else? Luke Skywalker is talking about Kylo Ren when he says “I’ve seen this raw strength only once before. It didn’t scare me enough then.” Perhaps it’s a hint at the trauma that forced him to retreat to his Ahch-to hideaway. If the Force awakened in Episode VII, it’s been wholly unleashed in the trailer for Episode VIII. Between Rey causing the ground to shake and split, to Snoke levitating Rey in his throne room, Rian Johnson is adding new wrinkles to what we thought we knew about the force.
Of course, the moment everyone will be talking about is the very last scene, when Rey seemingly asks Kylo to “show me my place in all this.” However, I’m of the opinion that this is something she says to Luke early in the movie, while the shot of Kylo Ren holding out his hand comes much later. Misdirection is Lucasfilm’s calling card, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the scenes portrayed in the trailer play out differently on screen.
  Drew Walden (Staff Writer – The Star Wars Post)
The Last Jedi already has an enormous success on its hands. My three-year-old daughter stayed up late to watch the trailer with my wife while I went to secure tickets at my local theater. She stayed mesmerized until one moment where a grin created across her face. “That’s a porg! Did you see the porg?” Yes, she recognized Rey and Kylo Ren, but her favorite part of the trailer: the porg. The film’s not even out yet, but already an iconic creature, and what I hope is to be a regular guest on the Millennium Falcon.
I think that this trailer has a lot of misdirection. While it’s possible that the last shot of Kylo Ren extending his hand may actual follow Rey seeking to find her place in the universe, it could also be a cleverly crafted ruse. This editing trick could also be applied to the sequence where it looks like Kylo Ren is conflicted about shooting the ship that shelters his mother, Leia. If these are indeed cut out of sequential moments in the final film, this will be an episode of extreme consequence. Regardless, come December we will still be treated to a conflicted Rey, Kylo Ren the ace pilot, the Finn versus Phasma fight (that should have been in TFA), menacing Snoke, a bristling Luke full of warnings, and most importantly, a Porg co-pilot.
Finally, for those score aficionados out there, I would like to congratulate whoever produced the trailer for managing to fit in Jedi Steps, Rey’s Theme, Kylo’s Theme, and the Force Theme into about two minutes. Most impressive.
  Elizabeth Larsen (Staff Writer – Star Wars Post)
Congratulations to Rian Johnson, Lucasfilm, Disney, the marvelous trailer editors, marketing team– you’ve done it again. All the anticipation and suspense led to 2 minutes and 24 seconds of pure, beautiful cinematic bliss and hopefully reminded the world that Star Wars is back… again. There are a million things to dissect in this trailer, a hobby I will thoroughly relish over the next two months, but pure and without speculation, I want to acknowledge a few of my favorite TLJ trailer elements.
To me, music is always the emotional backbone of a trailer. The perfect soundtrack or score can maximize the minimal time and amplify the intensity of a scene. Like many star wars trailers before, this one perfectly captured the nostalgia of the great Star Wars hits while providing exciting new edits of Rey and Kylo’s theme. I would encourage anyone to just listen to the trailer– it’s a whole new experience.
However, without a doubt, the most exciting part of this trailer for me was seeing (and hearing) the most of Luke since Return of the Jedi. Luke was always my favorite, and I didn’t realize how much I missed him until this very moment. This isn’t the Luke from 30 years ago. It’s clear he isn’t imitating Yoda or Obi-Wan, Luke is a new Jedi– the Last Jedi. Even in this brief trailer, we see him burdened by guilt, regret, and fear. Luke says, “It didn’t scare me enough then… it does now,” and the audience understands there has been a character evolution, now hardened by loss and pain. This is an emotional range Mark Hamill hasn’t had the chance to play as Luke in any other film, and he looks exceptional.
My biggest takeaway from this trailer is that Rian Johnson’s emphasis on character. He took the shiny surface of The Force Awakens and shattered it. In the cracks and breaks, he is pushing these characters to their limits. Rey, Kylo, Luke, Poe, Leia– they are each presented at a crossroads, on the verge of a next step that could change the course of their life and the galaxy. I would argue at its core this trailer emphasized the emotional battles over the physical ones.
That’s it– I’m ready for December 14th and porgs now.
  Pete Morrison (Editor RebelsReport.com)
“This is not going to go the way you think.” Those are the words of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, spoken to an unknown figure in the new trailer for Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Since the trailer debuted, I have watched it a few dozen times and while talking it out with folks have changed my mind as to what the story is repeatedly based on the cuts and misdirection it contains. So instead of focusing on speculation, I want to focus on appreciation.
In the trailer, we get loads of reaction shots, lots of action, and a some rather ominous dialogue. It is clear why we have heard so little rumblings of complaints from Lucasfilm because it appears that Rian Johnson has delivered a wonderfully crafted film. The sequence that captured me is the hanger duel between Finn and Captain Phasma and the moment that Finn’s reflection along with the Z6 riot control baton he is wielding appears in Phasma’s helmet is breathtaking, one of my favorite shots in the entire Saga. December 14th can’t get here soon enough.
  Magnus Anton Lekaj (Author, Blogger, Lover geekfurious.blogspot.com)
Based on Rian Johnson’s previous work, it is no surprise the trailer to “The Last Jedi” looks –brace yourselves- like a Rian Johnson movie. Have you been clamoring for something “different” in Star Wars? Did you think “The Force Awakens” was too “safe” and “Rogue One” felt fragmented, with poorly developed characters, and leaned too heavily on nostalgic beats in the third act? Well, you’re about to get the movie you claimed to want. Two-minutes of footage makes it clear Johnson has no intention of playing it safe with his opportunity to tell a story in the Star Wars saga. This is going to be an exciting, weird, dark, dramatic, fun, mind-blowing, action ride with long noir-like beats, and camera-movement & editing choices heretofore not seen in Star Wars. Dammit, I’m excited! Anyone busy hammering away at the keyboard about how Kathleen Kennedy isn’t allowing directors their vision can take a break for a few months –at least until she fires another of your favorite egotistical privileged white hetero males with maybe one mediocre (and/or insanely overrated) movie under their belt. And yet, the visuals displayed in the trailer are still very much Star Wars: lightsabers, space battles, laser blasts, melee combat, and Luke Skywalker! Plus the surviving characters from “The Force Awakens” are back to struggle and suffer for decisions made in the previous episode. Not to mention back-story! From my point of view… the trailer is gorgeous, thrilling, emotional, and I’m beyond excited to see this movie. Also, the theatrical poster looks fantastic. I have only seen things to give me total confidence in “The Last Jedi.” May the Rian Johnson be with us… always.
  Jeremy Conrad (Editor at ManaByte.com)
I wasn’t one of those who had issues with the first teaser for The Last Jedi. It served its purpose well and gave you just enough new footage to make you want to see more and ask questions as to where the movie would be going. The final trailer opens up, even more, questions, and some of them are unexpected. That last shot of the trailer is going to send one segment of Star Wars fandom into convulsions, but imagine if that’s how the movie ends? Rey and Kylo going off leaving Luke and the Resistance to fend for themselves? Or perhaps it’s the first step towards Ben Solo’s redemption? See, there are lots of questions to ponder.
I loved the look of the movie from the trailer; it looks different. And that’s what you want in a Star Wars movie. You want new ships, you want new worlds, and you want it to feel different than the film before it. The Empire Strikes Back accomplished that, and doing so doesn’t make The Last Jedi an Empire clone; it makes it a Star Wars movie that knows that each installment has to introduce new stuff.
We get the first dialog from Luke, actual lines that give hints to the story. We get to see Porgs, the new Walkers, new ships, new planets. It’s a great Star Wars trailer. We only have two months to go, and this is going to see regular plays until December.
  Julia Silver (writer @sithglitter and @vaapadthinktank, occasional podcast guest)
For this reaction, I am going to take the trailer at face value. I’m going to assume that this trailer represents what we are meant to see overall in The Last Jedi. That is, even though I know that scenes are spliced and then edited together, they are selected together to make a point. When we see Rey speaking, or Luke, or Kylo Ren, or Snoke, they may be talking about who we see on screen or someone else entirely. This mild deception is a given. However, first trailers are meant to convey broad themes of a movie, and introduce us to central problems our heroes will face.]
The theme of The Last Jedi is: Destiny is a lie. That seems to be the tone of Luke Skywalker���s life. The story of Luke Skywalker and his lessons learned are going to loom large thematically in this Star Wars installment. Indeed, his figure looms over the new TLJ poster massively and ominously. Now, if we’re going to zoom out and go philosophically broad with this, “Destiny is a lie” is a tone or lesson of almost everyone’s life at some point. The concept of a personal “destiny” is a social construct meant to fill the gaps in one’s ego, to make one feel part of a larger whole, and to help one justify their decisions. It is helpful to feel as if you’re fulfilling some duty you are “supposed to” to get along, but in a heroic journey, Luke, and Anakin before him, already know: “This is not going to go… the way you think!”
[see also: every Greek tragedy]
It is through use of the concept of “destiny” that Sheev Palpatine can manipulate Anakin Skywalker and his fragile, hurting ego. It is through “destiny” that the Jedi are blinded, and destroyed through their attachment to a prophesied “Chosen One.” It is because of “destiny” that Yoda and Obi-Wan believe that training Luke Skywalker is a good idea, despite all of the signs against that. It is because of “destiny” that Luke faces Darth Vader, a machine running on only his mutated “destiny” by then, and realizes that destiny shatters someone who chooses to shoulder it.
The Last Jedi will depict how Rey and her foil, Kylo Ren, like so many of them, are each obsessed with their destinies as supernaturally powerful beings. The movie will also be about how their mentors, Luke Skywalker and Supreme Leader Snoke respectively, choose how to care for and shape these powerful people according to their perspectives on destiny.
It appears to me that Luke rejects the concept of destiny, and actively runs from it because he knows it is a tool of manipulation. He would rather a powerful being find their way than play god with their “raw” emotions and egos. Snoke, on the other hand, continues to spout “destiny” rhetoric throughout the trailer as he did in The Force Awakens… and likely for no good cause. As for Rey and Kylo Ren? Both believe they have unique destinies, but Kylo Ren has been carving out what he considers to be his own. His past literally and figuratively as part of the process, while Rey is desperate, almost in a panic (“I need help…”, “I need someone…”), searching for clarity on the concept. Both of our two lead characters here are ripe for an authentic rude “awakening” in The Last Jedi. And as the events of the movie progress, perhaps in being truly awakened to the nature of destiny and self-determination, Ben Solo and Rey may turn to each other for partnership and guidance on how to become whole, fulfilled powerful beings, destiny be damned!
  Kevin Olsen (Writer Contributor Star Wars Post)
What an absolutely splendid trailer. The footage conveys a feeling that anything can happen to these characters. It’s dark and brooding with a sense of actual stakes. People could die, alliances may be formed or dissolved. The color Red is all the place, and I believe it holds a special significance. The action is intense and epic. I like that it doesn’t come across to spoilerly but yet sets the table for an adventure that you don’t want to miss. It was emotional to see Carrie Fischer, but I’m so glad that we have her for one more episode. The battle between Finn and Phasma looks like it could steal the show as everyone wants to take down an evil boss at one point in life. Are they teasing a Rey to the dark side turn? Or a Kylo and Rey relationship? We don’t know, and that’s just the way I want it as we slowly approach December 15th 2017…until then we only have to breathe.
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