#i wanna find my own way to it and have my interest in it develop in its own pace and not ppl pushing me there
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based on ur tags on the last ask u answered (at the time I'm writing) u may be demand avoidant. It's like the more you feel that you're expected to do something, especially if people really really want you to like it, the more you do not wanna do it , especially with implicit demands like people hyping up some sort of media or experience. I personally feel it a lot because I almost feel like the experience of naturally forming the interest and getting attached is taken away.Anyway just thought u might find it interesting or maybe relatable . It's super common :)
oh damn thats exactly that right on point LMFAO all of it
(the only one who gets away with urging me and successfully having me check out smth is my sister but only bc she knows me and my interests well enough)
thanks for giving me a name to it 👍
#i just thought im a little asshole who always does the opposite of what hes being told#my grandpa is the same#akjcsb#reply#also agreeing with you there on the interest part#bc thats why i kinda dont like it when lots of ppl urge me on to check smth out#i wanna find my own way to it and have my interest in it develop in its own pace and not ppl pushing me there#(i know they mean well)
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Knowing that I have to go home after an 8-hour shift at the job I hate to force myself to deep clean the depression nest my room has become while neck deep in the same depressive episode for the past 3 months on top of chronic pain makes me wanna scream like can I just smoke weed and sleep on the couch instead pls?
#tw mental health#personal#idk how to tag this#I’m doin BAD#like- I think I’ve run into that gifted kid thing where it’s like yeah I was told I was good at this and then growing up and realizing I#never developed the skill beyond childhood but instead of gifted kid syndrome it’s high functioning depression#like I hit my 20s and I can’t high function my way through this shit anymore#I don’t know how and that makes it worse bc I’m looking back on teen me who could pretend for days and power through#now I’m just- a depressive episode hits and I just.. everything stops y’know?#im so tired and overwhelmed and I just don’t know where to start to even dig myself out of it#I’m self soothing to the point of it being harmful#if I don’t think about how bad it is and instead focus on whatever interest it feels better#my therapist has been out sick for almost 2 months now and I’m worried about her but we work so well together that I don’t wanna find#someone new and start all over again#I just..#I tried telling my family I’m struggling and my mom told me to pray about it so it’s like okay I’m just alone to deal with this like I#always do but I’m just.. I’m not doing well enough to be able to handle this on my own and no one is listening when I say that#I’m not going to do anything but I can’t pretend the s*ic*d*l thought aren’t at the front of my mind#every single problem I have would disappear for me if I wasn’t here and that’s bitter sweet because I want to see this life through#depression#mental health#struggling with depression#major depressive disorder
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I LOVE your Sakura AU, thank you so much for making it 🥹
Even though her ending is supposed to be “good”, I always thought that canon didn’t do her justice and threw any character development she had out of the window so she can be with Sasuke
I SO wanted her to finally move on and just let go
And I don’t have anything against Sasusaku
But I think it’d be much more beautiful if Sakura long let go of her feelings by the time Sasuke came to his senses and they developed their relationship TOGETHER from the START
And, once again, your work is AMAZING and I can’t wait for next pieces ❤️
Btw, can I ask a question?) Will we see Naruto’s and Sasuke’s reaction to her condition (maybe flashback to before she left the village?), if not, can you please tell me a bit about it? I can’t imagine them to ignore her after the incident, especially considering that they are at fault as usual
Thank you so much for the kind words! I've also never been a fan of how Sakura ended up. I have no beef with SasuSaku, but my biggest issue was that we never saw Sasuke try to make up/connect with Sakura in the same way we saw him do with Naruto, so their romance in Boruto just felt so...abrupt?
As for what happens to Sakura and her friends....
Sasuke was essentially put on probation/jailed, but broke out and defected to Otogakure as canon. This devastates Sakura, as she's both in deep denial about his contribution to her injuries and also the fact that she basically threw herself in there for nothing. Kakashi shuts down completely. It's a nightmare replay of his own past, including the female team-mate being horrifically injured by the chidori. The guilt of everything is eating him alive so he basically withdraws into himself and uses her demotion to civilian status as a way to trick himself into thinking that if he just 'rips off the bandaid' and cut ties, she'll be able to move on more easily.
Naruto is the only person who is really able/willing to face justice. After the incident, he was basically also put on probation/awaiting trial but busted himself out to join Jiraya.
So for context, Sakura got clapped hard by the Rasengan/Chidori combo (hearing gone, nerve damage, eyes shot etc) and basically had to be put in a coma to try and stop the damage from getting worse, but unfortunately none of the medics in Konoha had the ability to reverse anything but the most superficial damage. So Naruto joined Jiraya in an attempt to find and bring the only person in the world who could give Sakura a sliver of hope.
I felt like this worked well with canon and the desperation to get Tsunade to be hokage and Naruto basically begged her on his hands and knees to help Sakura. Tsunade made it there in the nick of time managed to save everything but her eyes.
But Sakura's life has fallen apart, her career is over, her parents dead from Konoha Crush and her eyes gone...and Naruto is the most convenient and available person to take out all her rage on, so...while he deserves a lot of that rage..she is essentially punching down on who she perceives to be the cause of all her problems.
Lee is in the same boat as her, but while he tries very hard to be there for her, Sakura can't stand to be with him right now, as it just makes the reality of life hit that much worse- especially when she finds out there's a surgery that might give him a better chance than she'll ever have.
And Ino visits often at first, but then it's awkward...and painful as the weeks go by. They have lunch and gossip but at some point, there's not much a shinobi and civilian have in common, especially after the shortage of manpower post Konoha-crush has Ino entrenched in the shinobi life more than ever before.
I hope this answered some stuff! Thank you so much for the questions and the interest! I love Sakura and I just wanna give her the development and power she deserves!!
#naruto#naruto au#sakura#haruno sakura#ino#kakashi#tsunade#rock lee#sasuke#sakura pov: ur life is falling apart#no hating on sakura here#yes she's cruel#but she's also TWELVE and has NO real support#and honestly naruto is part of the problem rn
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all about role models⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🧁
FIND ROLE MODELS ;
its important to have people that u look up to. people with similar morals and values as you and people who have achieved things that u want to achieve, or things similar to what u want to achieve.
you can find mentors or role models or, simply look up to people even if u dont know them personally. for example one of my role models is kimora lee simmons. i look up to how effortlessly glamorous she is and how much of an amazing business woman she is, shes also a biracial woman just like me.
find traits in ur role models that u already have, whether thats interests, talents, physical similarities etc.
finding role models helps to give u inspiration. something important to remember though is to emulate, NOT imitate. use their qualities and achievements as motivation to discover and develop your own individuality.
for this post im going to focus on one of my role models, the wizard liz because this is a mindset based post...💬🎀
STUDY THE MINDSET OF UR ROLE MODELS ;
their conception of self ; the wizard liz has high standards for herself because she knows her worth. because of that she won't settle and she doesn't let herself get walked all over.
something that liz has said in her videos before was to be okay with people misunderstanding you. dont go out of ur way to get worked up just bcuz someone sees something in a different way then u do.
her conception of self continued ; in another video she says to "make a list of tough situations that you've handled in the past and what skills you used to handle them". she has a lot of trust and belief in herself and her abilities
after taking notes on the mindset of ur role models (like so) i can see what resonates with me and what doesn't, i can see clearly ways in which we are similar and ways in which we are different.
WHAT ABOUT YOU? ;
take time to formulate ur own opinions. take time to think, "hey what do i think about this" without the influence of others views or opinions what do u think originally. grow comfortable with thinking for yourself.
trust ur gut feelings and intuition
be confident in ur own mind and trust that you have the ability to make the best choices for yourself.
another thing, grow comfortable with asking yourself for advice. something that i realized is that often times when we ask others for advice, we already know what we should do but we wanna hear it from someone else but its important to just ask urself some times.
"what do i rly want" or "what is the best thing for me to do" are things that u should be asking urself instead of asking others. dont let others peer pressure you into thinking the way that they do. THATS NOT TO SAY DONT BE OPEN MINDED, THATS NOT WHAT IM SAYING. but im saying think for urself first.
SOME OF MY ROLE MODELS ;
kimora lee simmons - successful business woman, biracial queen, effortlessly glamorous
beyoncé - passionate about her talents and recognized as one of the best in her industry
wonyoung - smart, beautiful, and unbothered queen
jennie - so talented and radiates major it girl energy
britney spears - popstar queen, her music is AMAZING and her energy is palpable
bella hadid - empathetic beautiful human being who speaks up about things that society wants to be silent about
megan thee stallion - educated queen, such a hard worker, strong even when everyone is against her, talented and confident
paris hilton - used the image that the media portrayed for her to make a profit, marketing and business genius, gorgeous and cunty
#honeytonedhottie⭐️#it girl#becoming that girl#self concept#self love#it girl energy#that girl#it girls#role models#mindset#guide#self improvement#self awareness#self reflection#opinionated#hyper femininity#girly#girl blogging#dream girl tips#dream girl#dream life#beautiful women#black women#self concept work#glamour
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A few months ago I posted a couple photos of my index cards, saying I still didn’t know how and where I’d keep them, and I’ve since developed an Archiving System that combines the cards with a digital spreadsheet and has taken more hours than I will ever admit.
So, since I don’t have a “notebook system” to speak of, I'd like to share the way I archive my journals / sketchbooks / whatever you wanna call them, because I’m very proud of it, and who knows, someone might find it helpful :)
WHY I NEED AN ARCHIVING SYSTEM
The reason I don’t have a notebook system is because I use my books for absolutely everything, from sketches to grocery lists and journaling. It is crucial to me to not have any restrictions or expectations when it comes to my books, and that’s how I’ve managed to fill 43 of them over the years.
But of course, when you’ve been using notebooks without a system for most of your life and you want to read a specific entry, you can easily spend a full hour flipping through a sea of paper until you stumble upon those notes on the Bubonic Plague you took in 2011 or whatever you were trying to find.
SO HERE’S WHAT I DO
When I finish a notebook, I try to determine what its most important contents are: stuff I might want to reference in the future (project ideas, meeting notes) or is very characteristic of a period in my life (friends' drawings, travel logs). Every single page contributes to making the notebook what it is and gives it a unique personality, but not all of them are gonna be keepers, and that's fine (I'd even say fundamental, at least in my case).
These are the extremely generic categories I sort my Chosen Entries into. It's similar to the dot system so many people use, just applied retroactively:
🟣 Study notes 🔵 Work 🟢 Personal 🟡 Projects 🔴 Misc
And here's where the real archiving begins. This info goes into:
1. THE INDEX CARDS
(I always write them in Catalan; this one's a mockup and most of these are not real entries)
A little piece of cardboard with the notebook number, its start and end dates, and most important contents. I keep each index card inside its corresponding notebook, either in its own backpocket or an adhesive one I stick there myself.
This way, whenever I want to take a quick look through the book, I get a general idea of its contents at first glance. Sometimes, just holding it in my hand and reading the index card brings me back to the time when I was keeping it, and that time-travel feeling gives me a rush like no other. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm crazy about my notebooks.
2. THE SPREADSHEET
Same as before, just a couple more pieces of info (number of months, physical description) added to a file with the rest of my notebooks' data. Again, these are not real entries for privacy and language reasons, but they're very similar to the kind of stuff I do keep. The spreadsheet helps me find specific entries with a simple ctrl+f, and it's also a bird's-eye view of my progress through the years as a notebook keeper. I can see when my interests shift, how long some of my most important projects took to come to fruition, and even similar types of entries that repeat every few years which I wasn't even aware of before putting it all together. Absolutely fascinating stuff.
I hope this was useful, or interesting at the very least! If you’re a notebook keeper trying to find their own archiving system, my main advice would be to start early so you don’t have to deal with almost two decades of material like I did :’)
If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask.
Good luck 🖤
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Gojō Satoru's rude awakening
I'm refusing to let myself seriously entertain the possibility that Gojō can come back after chapter 236. However, that's because I'm trying to protect my future self from disappointment, not because I think it's implausible — and I really want to talk about this image!
A couple of days ago, @runabout-river shared an interesting theory about what might happen next for Gojō. The post itself is well worth a read, but it was the choice of the above image that really set my mind alight. This scene is fresh in our minds after the anime adaptation of Hidden Inventory, and timing is clearly never an accident with Gege Akutami. So, why is it relevant now?
We see Gojō giving himself over to his past, lost in his happy dreams of his youth, only for Megumi — Gojō's first student and a symbol of the future that he envisions — to bring him back to the present by telling Gojō, "You're the one who called us here, please don't go dozing off."
In other words, "You're the one who dragged us into all of this, don't go pretending this isn't reality just because it's nicer in the past."
In my immediate reaction to 236, I said:
Gojō's dying bloody smile shows he's at least happy in his final moments. [...] Although, if Gojō actually is at peace in death, maybe that's the reason Gege will bring him back. He'll *never* let that man be happy, I swear.
It was just a joke, but seeing @runabout-river's post made me realise that Akutami has already set a precedent for 'punishing' Gojō for looking backwards. When he's dreaming about his past, Megumi scolds him and brings him back to the present. When he 'lets his mind wander' to his blue spring in Shibuya, he literally gets locked in a box where time doesn't pass, only to immediately find himself at the bottom of Japan's deepest ocean trench when his students bust him out to fix the problem he created.
As a side note, in both of these moments, the anime adaptation played a melancholy version of Gojō's Limitless theme — the audio representation of Gojō's youth. I'll eat my hat if it doesn't play again when chapter 236 is eventually adapted (I shared some more insights into some of the easter eggs hidden in the season 2 score in my mini review of the Hidden Inventory soundtrack if you wanna read).
If Gojō dies here, looking backwards to his youth, then he's taking the easy way out and that's what I find hardest to swallow about 236. Gojō leaves what is potentially the most difficult conversation he'll ever have — telling Megumi the truth about his father — to Shōko. He leaves his students to deal with the fallout of his failure to cremate Getō's body. He's saddling the people he loves with the responsibilities he leaves behind, and that's not fair.
However, we won't know if that's what's happened for sure until the whole story is told. Gojō doesn't mention his students in this chapter, and lots of people were bewildered that he seems unconcerned about their safety in a world without him. While that could simply be explained by his faith that they've "got it from here", there's a chance that he genuinely didn't think about it and he's about to get a rude awakening as his punishment — hence, "I pray that this isn't just a delusion".
I would *adore* it if Shōko dragged him back to life kicking and screaming, hauling him away from his pleasant fantasy of youth to tell him, 'No, you and Getō don't get to leave me behind to pick up the pieces again'. Because isn't that Shōko as a character? The one who's left to pick up the pieces in their wake? The one to heal the wounds and lay the bodies to rest while everyone forgets she's even there?
It would be the most character development she ever receives, and I'd love to see how Gojō and Shōko's dynamic changes when he's not the 'Strongest' anymore. So, in Shōko's own words:
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#呪術廻���#jjk 236#jjk meta#jjk analysis#gojo satoru#ieiri shoko#jujutsu kaisen meta#jujutsu kaisen analysis#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#jjk leaks#glo's analysis#i can't stop talking about this chapter#so i guess it might actually be really good???#i'm literally drafting another post right now 💀
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Part of Fortune in the houses part 1
This is something a little different from what I usually post and I wanted to just try something new and also go down the route of lots and asteroids eventually. So, with that being said, I hope you enjoy!
What is Part of Fortune?
The part of fortune, also called the Lot of Fortune or Pars Fortuna, is a calculated point on your birth chart that reflects areas where you might find luck and success.
Part of Fortune in the 1st house
Having your Part of Fortune in the 1st house is a pretty lucky placement to have imo. You may be a naturally lucky person, and are just always in good mood, stemming from having a lot of confidence within yourself and high self esteem. These traits, on top of being naturally lucky, will attract even more good luck and opportunities your way, so you’re most definitely blessed with this placement. This placement may indicate that you have a lot of determination and willpower when it comes to getting things done, so you’re definitely a hard worker too. Your personality shines through in your everyday life so in work fields that rely on you having a vibrant personality would really work best for natives with this placement. If you want to really get the most out of this placement, i’d say you need to take initiative and persue your dreams!! If you put yourself out there you will get what you want!! (As someone with this placement, I need really take my own advice🤦♀️🤦♀️)
Part of Fortune in the 2nd house
With this placement you may too, have high esteem. You may also tend to attract or create material abundance. You might find that your talents and skills translate well into financial security and that you have a good eye for things of value or things that can become valuable. This placement could also give you the ability to thrive in careers that involve finances, like accounting, investing, or sales, could be particularly fortunate for you. Success can also find you in fields utilise your creativity and resourcefulness, like entrepreneurship, crafts, or the arts. So in terms of getting the most out of this placement, i’d say develop your talents and show people your worth. Dont let them take advantage of it though. Take risks and use what resources you have wisely.
Part of Fortune in the 3rd house
With this placement, it’s possible that you have lucky siblings, cousins and even neighbours, or when you’re around them you become luckier. You’re also likely to have good relationships them too. Your education experience may have been one to remember, as you may have had a good experience there. You may be naturally smart, and find it easy to retain information, so school may have been a breeze for you. School trips may have been fun and better for you than the average ones. You are probably a good communicator, and know how to communicate in a healthy way. So this could mean that you excel in public speaking, teaching and writing. Short trips may be good for you also. So if you wanna get the most out of this placement, USE YOUR VOICE and maintain the relationships (i mentioned before) with those around you.
Part of Fortune in the 4th house
With this placement, you’re likely to have a good relationship with your mother, and with your family. Just a good home life in general. You may be in tune with your family background and culture, and take a real interest in your roots. It’s also a possibility that you may have been born into some sort of wealth, whether its from your entire family, or on your mothers side or your dads side, the point being that someone you’re related to is likely to be wealthy. You are also probably in tune with your emotions and feelings and know how to manage them quite well. Most definitely emotionally mature. You may also be a bit of a homebody, since you may love your home so much. Interior design or gardening may be hobbies or careers you want to persue. You could also excel in social care, therapy, or childcare. Working from home is where you probably do your best work. So if you want to get the most out of this placement, invest in your home and nurture your relationship with your family. Get in touch with your roots!!
I would’ve done this all as one big post but i’ve had to split it into 3 parts because i’ve had issues with saving my work to drafts and don’t want to risk losing 1 big piece of work. But i will post part 2 and 3 in the coming days. :)
Check out my pinned post for more observations!💖
If you enjoy my content and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee here :)
If you would like a reading, you can DM me or order one through my fiverr page here or my ko-fi page here.
Next part
#part of fortune#astro#astrology#astro posts#astrology community#astro community#astro notes#astrology notes#astro observations#astrology observations#astrology posts#astrology placements#astro placements#astrology readings#writers of tumblr
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Top Secret Fiction Ch. 3
Grass Talks (Literally)
Katsuki Bakugou x Reader
Description: After meeting the one and only pro hero Dynamight on a dating app, you two begin to see each other. Because of the dangers that come with his hero work, you both promise to be completely honest with each other from the beginning; though you can't help but keep one big secret from him.
You write fan fiction, mostly about him.
Chapter Details: Soft, lowkey ooc Bakugou but thats bc I imagine him to be a lot more mellow as an adult. Little bit of a serious talk, but nothing crazy. Readers quirk is also mentioned
Word Count: 1k
previous chapter
The date had been going well so far, and the sun was even beginning to set since now it was almost 7:00 pm.
You two were currently lying on your backs together, looking up at the sky filled with clouds, stomachs full of yummy food.
"That one looks like a giraffe, or something else with a long neck." You said point up at a cloud.
Bakugou hummed, "Nah, I think it's a flower or something. Don't you see the stem? And there's even petals around it."
Tilting your head at a different angle, you tried to see what he saw.
"I don't see it! I thought I would, since I'm used to seeing flowers all the time..." You said while still looking up in wonder.
Bakugou sat up and rested his elbows on his knees, "That's right. You're a florist ain't you? What made you wanna do that?"
You stayed lying down and answered him, "Yeah, I've been a florist for a few years now. I chose it because of my quirk."
"What is your quirk anyways? Is it something with plants and all that crap?"
"Yep. I can talk to plants, so taking care of them is much easier and I love being able to help others that are struggling with their own plants."
Bakugou rubbed his hand along the grass, "So me doing this... is it hurting the grass?"
You closed your eyes and listened, hearing the grass ask what it was that was rubbing all over them.
"It's not hurting them, but they can feel it."
He pulled his hand away. "What about walking on the grass. Does that hurt 'em?"
"Sometimes it can. If you're walking normally, then no. But if you're stomping all over them, then yes it does hurt them." You said, finally sitting up and facing him.
You leaned over and ran your hand along the top of the grass very lightly, hearing the voice of the grass sigh at the feeling. You learned early on after developing your quirk that most plants actually enjoy being pet, if you can call it that.
"They like it when you do this to them. Just make sure you do it really gently." You said while showing him how to pet the grass.
He followed your directions with a grunt and did the same motion as you.
You laughed lightly, "Petting grass is kind of silly now that I think about it. I guess it's different since I know that the grass likes it."
He shook his head and pulled his hand away, "It's not. I think it's interesting. I have some plants at home, now I'm wonderin' if they're happy with me."
You giggled at that, "I'm sure they are. But thank you. I always felt like my quirk wasn't super useful since I couldn't be a hero, y'know?"
"You don't gotta be a hero to have a useful quirk. Everyone can find a way to use their quirk, trust me."
You smiled softly, "You know what, you're really sweet. You don't portray yourself like that on the media at all."
"I ain't sweet." He said looking away shyly.
"If you say soooo." You cooed.
He smirked lightly and looked at you, "Thanks for uh, being genuine by the way."
You furrowed your eyebrows, "What do you mean? Why wouldn't I be genuine?"
"I mean like, almost everyone I've met just wants to be with me because I'm a hero. It just makes dating a lot harder, I guess."
You frowned at his words. You knew there were people who were out for money, but to play with someone's feelings like that? That was just heartless. You knew Bakugou was a grown man and fully capable of handling himself, but you couldn't help but feel bad.
You place on of your hands on top of his and said, "I understand what you mean, and I want to let you know that I don't have any bad intentions at all."
"I won't lie and say I'm not a fan of you as a hero," You continued, "but right now I'm getting to know you as Bakugou. So I hope you'll continue to allow me to."
Bakugou genuinely smiled. No smirk, or sly remark following it. Just a smile.
"Thanks. That means more than you know. But on that same topic, I also wanted to talk to you about a boundary I have if we're going to continue seeing each other." He said seriously.
You nodded your head and listened attentively.
"Because of my line of work, I just ask that you be honest with me about things. I fuckin' hate liars in general, but I really need you to understand that I can't have someone around if they're gonna be keepin' secrets and shit." He said frowning, almost as if he was thinking of a particular person when speaking about liars.
You nodded and smiled. "I promise, I'll be completely honest with you. I really wanna keep seeing you and if that's all it takes then I'm willing to do it."
He grunted. "Good. Let's clean up now, I'll take you home."
Just as you were about to start cleaning up, your phone went off. You picked it up quickly and saw that it was an email, a notification from the site you write fan fiction on.
You bit your lip and thought about what Bakugou just said. Deciding to ignore the notification, you just continued to clean up.
...
After Bakugou had dropped you off back at home, you quickly changed into your pajamas and got comfortable.
You said goodnight to Cheerios and your plants, who said goodnight back.
When you got in bed, you looked through your emails and at the notifications from HeroFiction.com that you had received earlier.
You began to think about Bakugou's words again.
"I fuckin' hate liars."
You shook your head and tried to rid away any negative thoughts you had. This secret wasn't that big of a deal, and it was probably for the better that he didn't know.
Keeping one secret wouldn't hurt, right?
...
next chapter
authors note
i had fun writing this chapter :) i hope you liked it! i also hope you liked softer bakugou here, hehe.
taglist: @doumadono @54fangirl @andysdrafts @dagger-dragger @lovra974 @l4rsun1vrrse @emmab3mma @littlkittenfan @tatiquichi @cloudxluv @seonne @shonen-brainrot @the2ndl @gold24fish @cxp1d @rv19
(those in pink are not able to be tagged unfortunately)
#@angels-fantasy#fanfiction#writers on tumblr#fanfic#anime#bakugou katsuki#my hero academia#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#topsecretfiction#bakugou x you#mha bakugou
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I love the headcanon of Killer having ADHD, but I never see it explored much despite it being so popular. So here's a list of how ADHD may affect him based on my own experience:
- He remembers he's said something, but doesn't remember to who and just assumes it was everyone who needed to know. It was not.
Imagine the amount of times he's noticed a detail and told the Chara in his mind to not forget only to then forget they're the only one he spoke to about it. Sure, this is gonna be a problem while living under Chara or Nightmare if they find out (I say 'if' because Killer may play the part of the fool with them to lower their guard and him not noticing shit would fit right in), but it's also gonna be troublesome when he's already living with Color.
Imagine he scheduled his next therapy appointment and the only person he told that to is the voice in his head, like, that's bound to end up in a few skipped sessions.
- Remembers only one task at a time unless he writes them down.
I don't doubt that Chara and Nightmare both tried to beat some memory into him, but, surprise surprise, abuse doesn't cure ADHD. For some reason, they're both shocked to find this out.
Killer may develop the strategy of just repeating the list of tasks in his head with the exact cadence and rhythm they were told to him in over and over again as he's doing them to keep them in mind if he doesn't have access to a way to write the orders down. It works pretty well as long as he never stops doing it. As soon as he stops, anything but the task he was currently focusing on disappears.
- Inability to focus on only one thing at a time as it's too understimulating.
I know this one feels like a contradiction to the last one, but imagine it more as 'can't focus on reading unless you're also listening to something or fidgeting with your hands, or walking in circles'. More than one sense has to be stimulated at all times unless you wanna dissociate.
And, to be fair, Killer probably spent most of his time under Chara and Nightmare dissociating anyway, so it's possible that he discovered this neat little trick only after leaving with Color, most likely after starting therapy. Because, while Color of course tries his best to help, he also doesn't have all the knowledge and experience necessary to always know how.
- Irregular sleeping patterns.
This guy probably barely sleeps most of the time under Chara and Nightmare, both because they only allow him to as a reward if he's been good, and because it's such a vulnerable position to be in that it isn't worth it.
But, even once he's settled in with Color, my guy is still gonna swing between sleeping 3 hours and 12 hours straight depending on the day. He may lay down for a nap in the afternoon only for him to wake up the next day. Especially if he's kinda bored. Buddy's sleeping schedule is gonna give Color a heart attack.
- Frequent bouts of depression.
Depression and ADHD are linked together heavily, if he has ADHD it's highly likely that he suffers from depression too.
I mentioned it before, but I think his coping mechanism for that is locking himself in Stage 2, although he's not doing so consciously. Stage 2 is just the most likely one to be able to handle the increased anxiety/paranoia and apathy that come with it. He's also the least likely to change his behavior, so outsiders may miss the fact that they're in a vulnerable position. This, however, is a double edged sword because that guy is shit at taking care of the body and himself and may just go without eating and sleeping until he collapses, all while dissociating the whole time.
- All-consuming bouts of hyperfixation that leave him feeling empty once they fade.
The hyperfixation could be related to specfic AUs, characters within them (he doesn't consider anyone real anyway) or even tasks, weapons, animals, specific people.
For as long as the hyperfixation lasts, he struggles thinking of anything else and/or being happy/interested/focused while thinking about anything else. Of course, every time he thinks that maybe this is the interest that's gonna stick only for it to eventually fade and leave him feeling empty, maybe even kick-starting another bout of depression. There are ways to cope with that (pushing yourself to explore interests outside of you hyperfixation and establishing a healthy routine outside of it helps), however I think he'd only start exploring those once he's with Color and in therapy because mental health under Nightmare and Chara isn't really a thing. He's too busy trying to remain functional with them for that shit.
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Of course, there's more to it, but those are the things I personally love to give Killer the most. That and the fact that he's easy to distract with something colorful and that is one of the reasons why he likes Color so much (same). Though that one's just funny tbh.
#killer sans#utmv#utmv headcanons#cw abuse#cw sleep deprivation#corrupted nightmare sans#something new chara#color sans#color spectrum duo
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no footprints
The concept I had in mind here was how Null perceives himself. I gave him different clothes and hairstyles, hinting at a whole set of features but he doesn’t care for it. His feet are somewhat visible but no prints are made, he’s not walking anywhere either just some white void, not that it matters, the void is familiar anyways
rambling existentialism mention
I love ethereal sort of drawings with null, he gives a lot of room to explore challenging existentialism from his overall role in the game being able to leave but never doing so to his design where he only resembles a person but everything important isn’t visible.
I thought about him leaving, how he didn’t really get to leave on his own terms and his whole purpose for being in the game, didn’t even conclude in him saying goodbye to the player it was the developer. He never had a choice, sure he was in the spotlight but it didn’t matter, he was deemed worthless once the developer didn’t want him around no more. Horrifying everything he worked for was up to someone finding his entire existence entertaining all just a silly little game.
He didn’t want to take part in the game but he became the focal point when people dug around, him being there gave him a motive and just one location to do one thing, what now in the real world? I feel like the events of the game altered him to a degree where he internalized how little power he has over everything going around him. He’s now invisible to whoever came across him once he got out here he’s everyone but no one at once because he never makes an impact for anyone to discern who he is, the same as trying to remember a forgetful face, an amalgamation of features that didn’t matter enough to remember.
I like thinking about the possibility of living as anyone, not in the sense of him having the ability to morph his features but the concept of I can’t nor want to choose what he really looks like but because of the concept of endless mish mash of countless people that could mix up and end up being him, I want to choose being unable to find a fit whole design for him over my wanting of what he could look like. Anyways, just thought it was a cool idea how he acts as an entity that haunts the game but now that he’s out he’s a ghost, more entity than a person, ends up embracing what he was in the game since he’s done it for quite a long time
Wouldn’t it be interesting how he can actually be someone out there and no one would know? How he’d want to keep it that way. Instead of showing up in other games or media he becomes a person. I’d argue that’s one of the worst things he can end up being but there’s a sliver of beauty in thinking about figuring it out and living the way you want to whatever he does I sure do wish him luck, not the only guy living that way after all. Aimlessly living.
Just wanna say how out there it is to try and draw someone I can’t care to remember but still wishing for whoever I do come up with that could resemble someone to find their footing in the world. Not possible it could be null but it’s entertaining to think so
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hungry for titus & executioner reader. insane even. i bet my left lung titus was lying nude in the table with his cock hard in all its glory. was it the anticipation of potentially being brutally defiled by his "angel" executioner? or was it the cold air hitting his body? who knows.
do you think his fantasies of being violated by executioner interfere with his work? or is he diligent enough to not let it get in the way? would he let down an entire nation/empire just for his darling? did he fall head over heels before or after employing his darling?
i also love the concept of executioner with HUMONGOUS amounts of bloodlust, it's as equal and if not more than titus' libido. just straight up sadistic executioner — who relishes the screams, the cries, and the whines of their victims — it's music to their ears. and you wanna know what? they're also hysterical & weird. laughing out of immense satisfaction of violating their prey, drooling at the thought of skinning & carving their next victim. and they giggle — so much — when they present their bloody gift to titus. "i got'cha a little gift, master!"
speaking of their master, they are eternally grateful for them — for granting them the liberty to fulfill their selfish desires. it's two birds with one stone to them, harming people in the name of their desires, and harming people in the name of titus. despite their gratification and loyalty to the great tyrant, their view of each other is still not equal. like our cold executioner, they will do anything for their lord, but titus' offer of allowing them to ravage them, it's over the line.
i love them a normal amount your honor
That's a fun idea, but I wanna stick with cold Executioner Reader for the time being. I'm all for sadistic darlings, but I like what Executioner has going on now. An emotional stunted, husk of a person. Killing comes as natural as breathing to them. They can't sleep without the sound of screams to keep them company, they can't eat or accept gifts without their prize feeling earned. They hold more loyalty to their post than their ruler which is why they willfully follow Titus after he slaughtered their previous employer.
Titus develops a bit of a savior complex when it comes to them as he hopes to break this mentality at least to the point where they are accepting of his love. Dresses them in the finest attire, feeds them foods that are probably a shock to their senses compared to the bland filth their former ruler fed them. Tried to give them their own bedroom, but after finding Titus in their bed one night they solely stick to the dungeon floors. Really only uses the autonomy he gave them to reject his advices.
did he fall head over heels before or after employing his darling?
I'd say he fell for them somewhere between their imprisonment and their eventual promotion to Executioner. While other members of their ruler's guard attempted to fight against Titus hostile take over, Executioner Reader sat back and watched as Titus beheaded their master. He found them a little dull, but upon being captured is where they got interesting. If there's one thing the Executioner despises it's being in chains. Took out a fair chuck of Titus' fleet for the crime of attempt to put them in chains.
Titus figured they'd be an excellent pet after realizing they'd follow along obediently on the condition they weren't strapped in iron. He began to fall for them after barring witness to their expertise with a blade and their closed off nature. He thought it'd be fun to break them out of their shell. The executioner's rejection was the first he faced in some time and while he'd normally have anyone who refused his generous offer killed - he saw them as a challenge. Overtime his kind gestures to get them to warm up to them became more genuine as his curiosity got the better of him. Had his Executioner ever truly smiled? Had they known the joy of laughter and other similar feelings? If they hadn't - he wanted to be the only one capable of giving them such wonders. That was a prize of its own. One of the greatest he could possibly obtain. It took him a while to realize and understand his love for them, but his guard caught on quick.
do you think his fantasies of being violated by executioner interfere with his work? or is he diligent enough to not let it get in the way? would he let down an entire nation/empire just for his darling?
This is Titus we're talking about. Bro will drop entire events so he can take care of himself because he got horny over a memory of Executioner Reader bringing him the heart of a traitor. If the matter had dire importance he'll try to hold off on his urges, but he'll be grump about it all the way through and immediately seek Executioner Reader's warmth afterwards. It's less of a matter of would he let down something else for them and more when he'll do it.
#yandere oc#yandere imagines#yandere headcanons#yandere insert#yandere x you#yandere scenarios#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere blurb#male yandere#yandere emperor#Titus my oc
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Onyx's cringe ass horror recommendations for Halloween: so you like the idea of mascot horror, but most mascot "horror" makes you wanna kill yourself
I personally love the concept of mascot horror, at least in the idea of childish horror, combining childlike and nostalgic things with actual horror, etc. I don't love Garten of BanBan.
So here's some "mascot-esque" horror I think is a good sort of replacement, that utilizes the contrast of cute and childlike vs disturbing without just pretending to as an excuse to open a merch store.
1. Petscop (2017-2019 YouTube series) Basics: A man discovers an old Petscop disc in his mom's house and uploads a series of videos of him playing it to prove to a "friend" that it's real. Not outright scary, but cryptic and eerie. Content warnings: Child abuse and allusions to suicide
2. Shipwrecked 64 (2024 video game) Basics: A cursed "lost N64 game" created by a slighted developer with the intention of exposing the covered-up crimes of the company that commissioned it. One of the most outright scary on the list. Content warnings: Graphic violence, self-hate, self-harm (brought up by ralseibinary because I forgor)
3. Mr. Hopp's Playhouse (2019-2023 video game series) Basics: A girl's dying gift from her grandmother- a creepy toy rabbit named Mr. Hopp- turns out to be housing a demonic entity. Not very scary, but an entertaining game with an interesting story. Content warnings: Emotional abuse against children and implied violence (both in Mr. Hopp's Playhouse 2)
4. The Walten Files (2020-present YouTube series) Basics: A series chronicling the disturbing incidents and supernatural occurences around the now-defunct Bon's Burgers. My personal pick for the scariest on the list. Content warnings: Harm against/death of children, extreme/graphic violence
5. Harmony & Horror (2019-?? YouTube series) Basics: A mad toymaker traps his family inside a series of grotesque living dolls in a search for the perfect toy. A somewhat disturbing and scare-heavy series. Content warnings: Religious/satanic themes, graphic violence, domestic and child abuse
6. The Nursery (2024-present YouTube series) Basics: My own horror series. A girl returns to her hometown years after leaving to investigate the urban legend of "The Thing" and an unidentified Jane Doe. Not so much childlike, at least, not yet, but designed to be Petscop-esque, sort of nostalgic. Content warnings: Implied child abuse and abandonment, graphic violence, harm to and death of small children, religious themes, body dysmorphia
7. Welcome Home (2023 "ARG") Basics: A website detailing the restoration and preservation of the fictitious lost Sesame-Street style show Welcome Home. Not really an ARG. The opposite end of the spectrum from The Nursery, Welcome Home is less horror-based and more rooted in the nostalgic, childish aesthetic. Content warnings: None that I know of
8. Amanda the Adventurer (2023-present video game series) Basics: A Dora-the-Explorer-esque public-access TV series houses at least one demon and the trapped souls of children who have been lured in by the show. Content warnings: Religious/satanic/cult themes, implied harm to/death of small children
9. Choo-Choo Charles (2022 video game) Basics: A giant spider inhabiting a defunct train terrorizes a remote island, and an archivist and monster hunter is tasked with finding the spider's eggs. Different from most mascot horror and basically all horror on this list, but in a way that felt worth honoring with its inclusion. Content warnings: Religious/cult themes, animal death?
Feel free to add in in reblogs!
#mascot horror#indie horror#petscop#shipwrecked 64#mr hopps playhouse#the walten files#the nursery#amanda the adventurer#choo choo charles#fnaf#poppy playtime#horror#halloween#garten of banban
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Now that I’ve finished reading Hortus de Escapismo and Executor’s record, I really gotta ramble about Executor for a second and kinda talk abt how Arknights handles his lack of empathy trait that I really enjoy. This isn’t a proper analysis or anything just my thoughts I wanna vomit for a sec.
So it’s implied in Executor’s record that he just, wasn’t born having empathy despite being a sankta. Or at least he just naturally doesn’t have the same levels of understanding of emotion as other sankta. The part that I really like about it is how Executor’s Record and story in general doesn’t portray that as a necessarily bad thing.
His lack of empathy allows him to think in a way that is a lot more unique than other sankta. When his partner in his record story told him to sacrifice him, he still brought his body back to Laterano. One of the reason being because of a specific sentence in the will they were enacting (“I hope all Laterans return back to their home.” Smth that most people would assume is just smth the will writer wrote for some extra literary flare) but also because he disregarded his partner’s feelings. His lack of empathy is the reason why he did something good and that is very interesting to me especially when most people tend to demonise having low/no empathy.
I also just really like how in his record story, it’s emphasised that he knows what emotions ARE. He has developed a system with his parents to recognise and visualise emotions by drawing lines that represent them. He knows what it is, he can recognise it to a level where he can think of the next best course of action when confronted with it, he just doesn’t put much importance on it nor does he bother with understanding it for the most part. Especially if it’s something that will get in the way of his job. And I REALLY like that cus it reminds me of how people irl that have low empathy will develop systems to work around it and still be kind.
I know a lot of us joke about Executor being autistic and that’s funny and I like the jokes as much as everyone else, but low or no empathy is a trait of other mental disorders and disabilities and even as someone that hasn’t been diagnosed with anything yet it still feels kinda nice to see low empathy being portrayed in a way that isn’t villanious.
In fact, Executor having low empathy kinda makes him the best person in the room sometimes especially in Hortus de Escapismo. The part where he does a warning shot at Oren and Lemuen and essentially goes “Can ya’ll STOP I’m trying to do my JOB.” And essentially manages to stop a massacre because of it is so funny but also so fucking hype bruv. I like how in the end of the event when Executor was starting to ask more questions and have more doubts and was starting to let emotions affect his actions a bit more, it isn’t framed as like “Oh mah gerd, he’s learning empathy and being more hooman!”
Instead he’s asking questions and seeking to find solutions to them in his own unique way. Asking around and adding more variables to his thought process like a computer would (which has some implications that gets my lore brain churning but hrghrghrgh)
Top it all of with the fact that he is specifically a character that is born and raised in a society that values empathy. Being able to feel other people’s emotions is what makes you a sankta. And Executor, is one of the better sanktas because he doesn’t follow that rule.
God I love Executor, go son, thrive.
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age gaps, and being a tmilf/older trans woman
[everything about this post is specifically about relationships between adults]
how do i feel about age gaps? well, i turned 40 a few months back and that kinda unlocked something, especially with the 20-25 year old crowd. especially since there's more than a few people who i could literally be the mother of who are down bad for me (or maybe, the idea of me as an older woman, but like, 40 is not old at all, it's not even close to old).
so, how do i feel about it? it's kinda cool, it's fun, it's also a little weird.
i mean, first off, we have the cultural view of age gaps that it's kinda creepy. normally we see it from the view of cishet couples with old guys chasing young girls. so as someone who's older, i kinda have to deal with the ick of feeling a little predatory. it makes me feel hesitant to pursue, even with clear signalling from a younger partner. i have to be pursued, but that's not all.
there's also things like power imbalances to consider, especially with kinks that involve d/s. when i look at younger people and they're just trying to avoid adulthood and trying to give up their agency by giving themselves to someone older, that's a little worrying! i can help someone figure out the direction they want to take their own life, but i'm not going to replace your parents! (personally, even if i do take a little bit of a caregiver role, i'm a sub, so i'm not looking to take control of someone younger than me, i want to be controlled!)
and like, it's important to recognise the different stages of life we're in. when you're 20 it's much easier to drop things for an adventure in a way that's much harder in your 40's. it's not just responsibilities, but energy and health. and even the things we'll be interested in are going to be different. finding things to do together and common interests is going to be a little harder!
getting to know me as a person isn't really optional, either. like most things, if it's just about fetishising the fact that i could have concieved someone twenty years ago there's not really a lot of milage we're gonna get out of things. it can be fun for a little teasing, maybe even a little play, but it's not gonna develop any further than that, and someone like me might not really wanna go there where it involves things like kink that require a lot of trust and a relationship.
so yeah, i do enjoy dropping a 'i'm old enough to be your mother' to get someone hot, and it is fun to tease a cute young thing, and it is also a little flattering to know they might be masturbating to my pics, but in the back of my mind i'm constantly thinking about the ethics at play. the last thing i want to do is harm anyone, so i am looking out for risks and vulnerabilities and minimising them.
so that's how i feel on age gaps, taken a bit more seriously. it's a complicated subject, and i'd hope that anyone on the other side of it is also thinking about these things too! i'm still working it out, and want to proceed carefully and consciously.
#miscling rambles#seriously a little scary tbh#there's so much potential for harm if it's not careful#but i think i should stop there lest i ramble forever
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okay i'm asking this because you're the friendliest ever, but I wanted to ask: what do you think the scene was like between Leon and Luis when Leon got off the elevator (after almost collapsing/passing out/whatever the hell was going on with him and Las Plagas) and from the point in which Leon was sitting there at the start of the next chapter squeezing is hand and saying he felt better???? Because it must have been a little while (both because of the seemingly time cut between chapters, but also later when Leon gives Ashley the suppressant and he clearly settles down to wait which implies it took Leon a while to respond and he is anticipating the same thing with Ashley) and surely they talked? Luis I'm-not-that-kind-of-doctor-but-wow-you-look-bad Serra and Leon I'll-rest-when-I'm-dead Kennedy must have talked, right???? I just wanna talk about themmmmmmmmm
Okokok I left this ask unanswered for SO LONG cuz the SECOND I started reading it I just KNEW I was gonna be lead down a rabbit hole that I wanted to do justice because like,,,, what WOULD they have talked about?!?!
Edit: this got a L O T longer than I intended I’m so sorry HDNEHENDJ so everything’s gonna be under the cut!!!! Give me the opportunity and I’ll talk about Luis for hours (also obligatory This Is All My Personal Opinion/Reading You Don’t Have To Agree If You Dont Wanna please don’t kill me HCHDNEDJ)
Like you said there seems to be a fair bit of time inbetween chapter breaks we just don’t see for the sake of pacing that REALLY fascinates me, ESPECIALLY because we’re at a pretty interesting point in Leon (and subsequently the player) and Luis’ relationship. It’s right after Luis has fluked us twice on call, and it’s right before the massive mine section you fight together in- it’s a pretty pivotal point in their relationship where Luis needs to up his game and prove to Leon that he CAN trust him. Yet he’s still gotta maintain some sort of mysterious and/or suave persona that I think throws a lot of people off when talking about how his and Leon’s relationship develop
Now of course this is all just MYYYYYY personal opinion/reading of his character cuz I am very very very invested in it BCNENEJD and you’re free to disagree!!! But I think that scene is a pretty perfect example of just how DESPERATE Luis is for companionship and trust. I think a lot of people are of the assumption that Luis only started ‘changing for the better’ AFTER he met Ashley and Leon- which personally I don’t think is the case!! We meet Luis after he’s clearly hit a moral rock-bottom. He’s been trapped under Los Illuminados’ reign for however long for whatever reason and has been COMPLETELY isolated from any human contact aside from his own coworkers for at the VERY LEAST five years. And in those five years, he’s watched the people who were most likely once individuals he grew up with become infected and loose all sense of humanity. RIGHT AFTER he escaped Umbrella too, most likely cuz he found out that all the hard work he poured into that company was being used for malicious reasons. One horrible thing on top of the other.
His life is a cycle of trying and failing over and over again- he watches his Grandfather pass away from something entirely out of his control as a young boy, and takes that trauma and grief and pours it into his research with Umbrella possibly in the hopes of preventing something like that to ever happen again- only for that to backfire. Whether it’s because he had no idea or because he purposefully let that anger consume him and let apathy fester and grow to the point where he just didn’t care, either way, he’s lost everything he loved once again. And when he returns to the only place he knows he can find solace in companionship, his childhood home, it all comes crumbling down on him too. Every attempt he’s made at righting his last wrongs, proving himself to the people he loves- it fails every single time. Obviously we don’t know WHY exactly Luis joined Los Illuminados, but if you were asking ME PERSONALLY based off of the beginning of Seperate Ways I think he didn’t have a choice but I DIGRESS!!!! Luis is at a point where he’s hit a rock-bottom he’s unsure he can come back from. Every attempt at doing good has been squashed, and no matter how hard he tries, the cycle just keeps on repeating. He’s desperate not just to escape Valdelobos, but to prove to SOMEBODY, ANYBODY, that he CAN do good. That he CAN right his wrongs. And I think the first place we physically SEE that need and desperation is in his relationship with Ada during Seperate Ways
(But I’m gonna save that for another post cuz this one’s already getting too long and rambly BCNEJSNJX but the tl;dr is that Ada and Luis are two sides of the same coin. Ada is in a similar situation as Luis where her hands are tied and she has no other option BUT to do what she’s told, despite not wanting to, and I think Luis can tell that. He trusts her and puts so much faith in her cuz he KNOWS that when the time comes, she’ll do the right thing)
But getting back on track- at the point where we first meet Luis he’s hit a rock-bottom. All attempts to help people, to prove that he can do good things- ie joining Umbrella under the guise of medical research, creating the Plagas removal machine etc- have been squashed. Every. Single. Time. He’s living a cycle of trying to do good, trying to live up to the people he’s lost and is desperate to prove that to ANYONE. The guilt of his actions is consuming and in my humble opinion it’s genuinely so admirable that he STILL KEPT GOING despite it all!!!! but anyways!!!!!!! When Leon and Ashley roll into his life, two people who are completely innocent in everything happening around him, it’s the perfect chance for Luis to genuinely help somebody and prove that he can do good. They don’t know about his past! They don’t know about all the blood on his hands!!! He can FINALLY prove to somebody that he’s a good person!!!! They’re probably some of the first people he’s been able to have a proper conversation with aside from Ada in YEARS- he’s been beaten to the ground so many times that he’s willing to do ANYTHING to gain not just their trust, but their friendship and appreciation too.
I think a pretty subtly overlooked fact about Luis is that deep down, no matter how much bad he does, no matter how much he throws himself into his work, he craves companionship and human company. He keeps the photo of the Umbrella Dream Team and his lighter with him, the first place he runs to when things turn south is his childhood home- no matter how badly he tries to resist it, he craves human contact and a sense of familiarity over anything. He wants friends, people who see him as more than just his mistakes, as more than all the wrong he’s caused- he wants people to see him for who he is in the now, in the moment. Even when he feels as though he doesn’t deserve forgiveness or friendship. And yet Leon and Ashley and Ada give that to him before they even know his full story, before they even know what his motives are and why he cares so much. The last time Ashley met him, she put her faith in his work- the last time Ada saw him before his death, she equally put her faith into his work, too. And he gives that faith back tenfold, which I think is what makes his friendship with them all so compelling among other things.
But then there’s Leon. Leon, who by all means from Luis’ point of view, is the complete opposite of him. No matter how much life throws his way, no matter how much danger he’s in- Leon is seemingly incapable of doing the wrong thing. He’s EFFORTLESSLY a hero, his actions never backfire on him… something Luis craves so, so badly. He’s everything Luis wishes he could be, even when he has to uphold that uncaring suave persona, which going back to the original point of this ask (this got extremely rambly very quickly im so sorry GDNEHENCUDN) I think that cutscene where Luis gives Leon the medicine is where we can see that trust between characters fully cementing. Leon already KNOWS Luis worked with Umbrella, and I think at that point he’s already hazarded a guess at his involvement with Los Illuminados- by all means, he’s got zero reason to trust Luis. Yet he still does. He’s the person Luis has been craving for so long; somebody who can see straight past all his flaws and his past self and see Luis for LUIS (And once again, that blind trust is S O COMPELLING in my humble opinion) But obviously, Luis doesn’t know this at this point. He’s still trying to hesitantly form a friendship with Leon and prove to him that he’s a decent person whose deserving of love, even when he doesn’t feel that way about himself, and I think that’s probably what their conversation inbetween cutscenes would’ve been about.
Like you said, I think Luis probably would’ve been pretty concerned to say the least about the state Leon’s in HXNSHENDI we can see that he prioritises the safety of his friends (ie refusing to leave when Ada was showing symptoms, dropping his persona to comfort Ashley when she started coughing etc etc) so there definitely would’ve been some level of, ‘oh my god you dunce how tf did you get so bad here lemme did you up’, but also,,, I think Luis probably would’ve tried to make conversation with Leon. About literally anything- his love for Don Quixote, what he was getting up to while sexily waiting for Leon to get off the elevator etc etc- anything to strengthen that fragile yet ever growing bond between them. Again, just looking for companionship and somebody to see past the skeletons in his closet. And I’m SURE Leon probably would’ve done the most Leon thing ever and just respond with a bunch of ‘yeah’s or ‘ok’s WHENDHDNJXJX but whatever it was they talked about, if they talked at all, it clearly strengthened their bond. Or at the very least, if they didn’t say anything to each other, the pretty intimate act of administering medicine to another person probably would’ve been enough to more or less solidify Leon’s growing trust. I think also it would’ve given Luis an insight into how Leon works- ESPECIALLY with the way Leon’s insistent on prioritising Ashley immediately after. Then of course right after that cutscene is the first time we see Luis’ love for Don Quixote be said OUT LOUD but again I’ll save that for another post BCNSHENDJXNXN
Again I really really really really hope you don’t mind how LONG this turned out to be!!!!!!! I just LOVE talking about Luis’ character and his effect on the story and motivations etc and I love to ramble BCNEHENDJDJ there’s SO MANY OTHER fade to black cutscenes with Luis I’d love to dig my teeth into (cough cough THE HAND HOLD) so!!!!!!! Maybe someday soon idk!!!!!!!!!
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I keep on telling people you're the only one who knows how to plot. Can you teach all of us how to plot, please? I love you.
I AM SUMMONED? PLOT BRAIN SUMMONED?
I love plotting. It's my favorite part of the writing process. Plot is "things that happen" and the best part of writing is imagining things that happen. I'm going to assume that whoever may be reading this knows how to imagine The Happenings, so I'm gonna be talking more about structure, but in like, a kinda abstract sense.
A good plot is a little bit more than a string of events. Plot is like music: there's variation in rhythm and sound and melody, but ultimately there's cohesion, because it's all one song. You can have a bunch of wild things happening, but no matter how strange, there should be something that links them all together, because you're telling one story.
Plot structures are patterns in stories. I'm pretty sure most of them were developed as analysis tools (as in, story already exists > look! it follows this pattern) rather than as writing tools, but people use them as writing tools because it's a neat little way to organize the chaos that is "shit happens." Stories follow patterns for the same reasons music follows patterns: we enjoy the certainty of hitting certain beats. But we also like being surprised. A good pop song doesn't sound like a random collection of sounds, but it also doesn't sound like the middle slider of other songs.
There is this shared concept in both music and writing: the idea of tension and release. Basically, you're playing with reader expectation: there's an imbalance in the experience (tension), and we want to see that imbalance resolved (release). All the common plot structures deal with this basic pattern:
You set an expectation
There are complications to the expectation
You meet the expectation
And this rhythm is happening on multiple levels in writing. Scenes follow this structure (we're gonna get past that door, we're gonna find the murder weapon, we're gonna collaborate and come up with a plan) and all those scenes feed into the overarching expectation (we're gonna solve this murder!). I usually think of chapters as their own mini-story, part of the larger whole. And I think of scenes as their own mini-story, part of the larger chapter. I have engineer brain. I see the gears spinning in the clock. That's why all my chapters have at least One Important Thing happening, because that's that particular chapter's Step #3.
And One Last Important Thing:
In music, a delayed resolution is almost always more interesting than the standard resolution. In writing, that means you wanna drag out Step #2 for as long as you can. That's where the bulk of the story is happening, that's how you build tension, that's how you get people to turn the page.
So when you write a fake dating fic, those bitches better not get together until the very end. I came here for fake dating, not for real dating, damn it. If you resolve that expectation early on, you better replace it with a different expectation that's just as engaging.
But also don't drag it out for too long. Sorry. The hard part of writing is learning the difference between too short and too long. Writing is unfortunately a nuanced skill which is why my advice is like "do this but not too much teehee." But tension and resolution is just rhythm, you can build a sense for it if you engage with enough stories.
#asks#yellowocaballero#writing#writing advice#THANKS FOR ASKING ME THIS MEG I LOVE PLOT I WILL TALK ABOUT HER ALL DAY AND I LOVE YOU TOO#i haven't read a fake dating fic in a long time i just brought it up because it was the first Trope Thing that came to mind#i didn't go into different plot structures because i was trying to boil them all down into the very basic building block of question-answer#but if anyone's curious i usually favor a circular plot structure#the ending reflects the beginning. the song loops: the same beats but with new perspective. cycles.#and by that i mean 'story starts with dink being mean to time' and 'story ends with dink being mean to time (but now it's affectionate)#lazuli talks
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