#i used to try to say i was a millennial but it's a damn lie | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

oddvanilla · 7 months ago

Note

PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT "SKIBIDI" AND "SIGMA" MEANS I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR A WEEK AND IT KEEPS POPPING UP IN YOUR BLOG AND I'M SO CONFUSED 😭😭😭😭

AAAA I love people who ask me open ended questions,, you're basically allowing me to yap 🫶🫶🫶

It all starts with Gen Z, you could say. The thing with Gen Z is that we're so sarcastic it's CRAZY. I mean, we got lots of terms that millennials can barely wrap their head around. It's like only we can understand this dumb humour. Like obviously, we say "rizz" (short for charisma: a charm) and "GYATT" (usually popular in African-American environments, short for goddamn),, but the thing is, we say that stuff ironically (in a sarcastic manner).

But there's Gen Alpha, basically people who are born after 2010 (until 2025, starts gen beta). And these kids are like brainrotted to the EXTREME. Keep in mind, brainrot usually means people who are too chronically online and sometimes can only speak in internet slang...weird. Gen Alpha is responsible for creating or popularizing some terms. These include a LONG list, I'll try to explain as much as I can here...

Sigma: the equivalent of alpha, an individual who's viewed as dominant.

Skibidi: short for Skibidi Toilet, a series made up of short videos created by DaFuq!?Boom! On YouTube.

Cap: a lie. Usually used in phrases like "No cap!" (No lie) Or "That's cap!" (That's a lie)

Slay: Something done impressively or greatly. Usually used between females but it's NOT restricted to that. used In phrases like "you slayed that/you ate that!"

Sus: Suspicious, unsettling

GOAT: abbreviation for "greatest of all time". Like in "Ronaldo/Messi is the GOAT"

Clout: popularity. Example— "I did that for clout"

Flex: to show off

Bop: Bae of plenty, someone who is seen as a player

Cancel: Cancel culture is pretty much getting celebrities banned off social media platforms. For example, many people want to cancel Andrew Tate.

Noob: newbie, someone who is a rookie. Either new to a game or bad at a game.

Drip: how cool your outfit looks. Like seeing a kid with a hoodie and saying "Damn, that kid got drip!"

Dope: The equivalent of Rad, something that's cool.

Dupe: yes, there's a difference. Dupe is like a knock off or a fake.

Lit: the same meaning as dope. usually something fire, as in it's awesome.

Stan: to be a huge fan of someone. Others can interpret it as a stalker fan, but the first definition is more popular.

Fanum tax: popular streamer Kai Cenat is friends with another streamer known as Fanum. Fanum often appears in Kai's streams to steal food from Kai. Fanum tax has become a popular term between fans indicating someone is stealing your food. Sometimes used in percentages. For example, my best friend casually fanum taxes 85% of my lunch every other afternoon.

Mewing: a technique used to sharpen your jawline, where you put your tongue at the roof of your mouth—often not allowing you to speak.

Edging/gooning/surfing: (Sorry asexuals..) a sexual practice involving controlling your 0rgasm.

Glazing: to over-hype something or give something so much compliments and attention it has gotten cringe worthy.

Tweaking/tripping: to act energetically or even unintelligently under the influence of crack/drugs, used sarcastically.

Aura: an imaginary calculation method of how much power or reputation you have. For example, falling In front of a group of teens means you have lost aura, or power. You can say that's -500 aura (points). Or maybe helping a homeless man. That's +5000 aura. Memes go around like "the golden dog", a card that makes you immune to losing aura.

Of course there is MUCH more. and Gen Alpha creates new terms every other weekend that it's starting to get tiring keeping up with these trends. Unless you're on the internet 24/7/365, then you'd surely know all of these and spontaneously use them. But I don't, so there's a lot I missed here, at least i believe so😭😭

The problem is, gen alpha uses all these different words and terms UNIRONICALLY. Meaning that they're actually serious. And oh, trust me they will look at you weird when you use an outdated word like "lol", "yas", or "YOLO".

So... Who can we blame for this ridiculous behaviour? Obviously, no other than millennial and generation Z parents. In my personal belief, Gen Alpha being on the internet from such a young age is seriously a bad idea. I mean, I have not one, but TWO (2) gen alpha siblings. You can imagine how hard it is from me... My 5 year old cousin goes to kindergarten and he says that he "rizzed" a girl at his class, which got him +10000 aura. Yeah, even I can't believe what this world has come to.

But from another perspective, we can do nothing about it. Maybe it's a good thing to let gen alpha on the internet? After all, we can't keep taking steps back, saying we need to quit phones and cellular devices in general. All we can do, really, is just let the future unfold. A few decades away from now, Generation Gamma or Delta or whatever, is gonna be laughing at gen alpha saying they're as old as time, probably holding a portable toilet in their hands. we never know what the future brings us🤷‍♀️

So that's it, sorry for answering your silly little question with a whole essay 🙏 thank you all for coming to my ted talk.

#my fav ask. i love this. might as well pin it #the sigmas will rise 🥶🥶#gen z culture #gen alpha #pop culture #philosophy #english literature #essay #ted talks #reine yaps

24 notes · View notes

donnabroadway · 1 year ago

Text

Millennial Cringe

Every generation talks about the generation under it as if they're the most depraved people to ever walk the earth. Stop it. Every generation has been nasty, this is just the first generation to do it in real time. Every generation has had a piece of technology that the masses thought would end humanity. Even though Motown and early Rock and Roll may seem corny and tame compared to what is online today, let's not pretend that parents weren't losing their minds over the dancing and lyrics. People have been using morality and respectability politics to shame young people since adolescence became recognized and people weren't exploiting young people for their bodies, sexually and for work purposes.

For Millennials to sit online and disparage and misgender an artist that you don't like because you think they're trash, is disgusting to me and unnecessary. I know we don't think the music we listened to wasn't "that bad" but it was. There was a reason why music released in the late 80s, early 90s had a parent advisory sticker on it. The radio and our parents may have played the clean, radio edit version but Lil Kim wasn't on album cover with her legs open because she was singing gospel music. It was "that bad." It's just that it had to be played on radio and the videos had to air on family friendly programing because parents were in the car listening to the radio with their children or there was only one TV, so artists recorded two versions of their singles, one that was completely nasty and raunchy, and one with cleaned up lyrics, that only had a sprinkle of "n-words" and light curses like hell, damn, or ass. That was acceptable but let's not act like it wasn't that bad. The only reason you say it is real "music" when your parents called it noise, is because it's nostalgia and the memories but a lot of it was trash and a money grab. Let the babies have their music and pop culture. We're no longer the target audience and we don't have to like it or the artists, especially since everyone has ear buds and a handheld phone where they can listen to whatever they want.

It is also disgusting how people grow up, get families, have long term careers, become respectable members of society and want to stick their noses up at people and say "I wasn't like that" and while they may not have done the exact thing they're looking down upon, they were borderline hell on wheels back in the day. They may not have done "that" but they did enough that even if they don't agree, they should be quiet. That's why I love family discussions because those elders remember and they are quick to remind and humble. I don't care if Freaknik was started as an alumni picnic for respectable career minded individuals who wanted to relive their college days, it ended with someone's mother shaking their behind on a car and someone's father allegedly inappropriately touching someone. Gen X can try to rewrite history and allege it wasn't "that bad" but there were too many people shaking in their boots when the documentary was announced for me to believe that lie and if Gen X can hide behind youth, why can't Gen Z? It's cool when you do it, a problem when they do it. Got it.

The cycle is being wild and crazy, to either growing up or aging out and subsequently sticking up their noses at the youth and pointing out every mistake and wanting punishment and atonement for sins, to realizing this is the cycle of life and what it is what it is and if everyone else got through it, so will they. There is nothing new under the sun.

Getting called old is a cannon event and retorting back by saying the other person looks old or that you don't look your age, isn't the flex you think it is. In terms of pop culture, millennials are old. We're in our late 30s, and while our face cards may still work but it takes a lot of effort to only be slightly overweight, we're more concerned with responsibilities, making sure we have a roof over our heads, our kids can eat, that we can pay our bills, namely student loans, and still have a little bit left to play with. If we do spend a lot of money on frivolous things, it is only a few times a year, maybe a concert, convention, vacation or something major like a party or social event of the season. Gone are the days when we try to rob Peter and never pay Paul, to look fly and have experiences. Gone are the days when we'd rather have our lights off or eat ramen and hot dogs, for protein, to follow our favorite artists around the country. As much as we love Beyonce, lets not pretend that her audience isn't millennials or Gen X. Gen Z is not checking for Renaissance or anything that she has done past Single Ladies, maybe Lemonade, if we're generous. The peak of millennial pop culture was 2008-2016; Gen X and Xillenial was 1999-2006.

Let's face it, our artists have reached their nostalgia age. Many millennial artists have passed their peak and have either transitioned to a career behind the scenes, retirement, social media/reality TV fame, or nostalgia touring. There are two millennial artists I can think of that still have consistent hits and that's Drake and Chris Brown but Drake has to use younger artists such as 21 Savage and SexxyRedd to sell tickets and records and Chris Brown is played on the contemporary r&b station. I remember when Drake came out, people were telling older artists to retire and now people are calling Drake old to his face and saying he's having a mid life crisis. It's the cycle of life. Even Katherine Heigel, who is in her late 40s, is having to deal with Gen Zers, who are watching old clips of Greys Anatomy on Tik Tok, asking her if she's Izzy Stephens mother. We all get called old. We all age. Some age better than others but we all age.

1 note · View note

manicgaypoet · 2 years ago

Text

BOTOX AND BULLSH*T

Some people are so poor

They only have money

Some have a face of an angel

And then the consciousness of a devil

He's got a nice body

But he's far from a model

He drives a Lux car

Inside you'll find maxed credit cards and Moscato

There's something we need to talk about

I'll lay it out plain and simple

And if I come off as rather hostile

Just know it's because I heard from some people

That you think it's okay to Label my family as evil,

Then say they don't love me because in life so far

All I have been an unsuccessful lazy millennial

That wasn't enough hurt though

You wanted to cut deeper

So you Told my boyfriend that I was cheating

Talking crazy like that has me thinking

Your prescription might need a refill

Or maybe you need some inpatient

You're in your own world, living in a house of denial

You Think you're a pop star

Because you were in a boy band in high school

But that boy band didn't last long

Because it was beyond fucking awful

You are so stuck in your glory days and still telling people you're going to be the next big thing

I think it's great for people to have dreams of

I would never put somebody down

for having aspirations

Goals and milestones

And a plan in place to achieve

That's called having dreams

but you're just having delusions

Thinking that this life of fame and fortune

is going to fall in your lap while you sit at home and watch the real housewives

It was always so embarrassing to be with you

Out in public, when you'd brag about your Instagram followers and musical talents

If your followers came naturally Because

Your content was quality and

piqued some curiosity

Then it would not drive me so far away from my sanity

But that's hardly the case

Your followers are paid for

Anyone can do it if they have

a credit card and a cellphone

You're just a wannabe influencer

You can't even make a facial expression

With all those injections, your face It's now frozen

Is that why you're always making fun of people?

Is it to make yourself feel bigger and superior?

Deep down inside, do you ever feel like a monster?

Your blackout drunk

most nights to hide from The reality

that your life's becoming a tragedy

With all that Botox in your lips

It must not be that easy

To suck your sugar daddies off

So you can get that new Gucci

To prance around town Like your life's in order

And everything's perfect and peachy

While you hide behind Gucci, Tiffany,

and a bottle of liquor

You are a monster in disguise as

Someone you can confide in

You lie, and you steal from your friends

while you tell them you love them

You will spill all of their secrets

Right after you promised them you wouldn't

You are a backstabbing bully, self-centered lunatic

Have you ever gotten down on your knees for god

And asked for forgiveness

For the pain and hurt you caused

Not only in me

There's a long list, and it goes on

One thing you're good at is leading people on

Make them believe your kind and genuine

Your true colors have shown

I see green and black scales

You're a snake in the lawn

Slithering along

On the Prowl for your next victim

So many people told me to stay away from you

They told me you're bad news

But Im stubborn and didn't see them through

instead, I trusted and defended you

Never again will someone turn me into a fool

Even though you are just some plastic

That's not even worth recycling

It goes in the trash can

I have to thank you for one thing,

which is teaching me how to identify

Toxic people and

I learned from my mistakes

And I think you should try it

Maybe for once, you would use some god damn logic

And not go around causing Chaos

I'm starting to believe that you don't want to change

A thing about the way you go about your days

That's my Que to leave

I've seen and heard more than I wanted

Cheers to the end of your taking me for granted

This friendship is over for good, and I mean it

Could you not call me to talk

Or text me trying to fix this

No, we can't be cordial, and time won't heal us

Im so beyond done dealing with

Your Botox and Bullshit

1 note · View note

emeraldbabygirl · 2 years ago

Text

Thanks to Ryan and Shane (I’ve missed them so much it’s crazy) I learned that this fuckin thing 🦟🦗🦟🦗 where the mosquito has his “arch backed” means to twerk or “throw it back.” I see it a lot in the tiktok comments along with other weird shit that I don’t understand despite me being gen z. I def don’t fit in that category I put myself in with the millennials ion care I don’t claim gen z they whack af over there and I can’t keep up nor do I want to. Like I hear all these words and random shit literally all on tiktok and so much of it I’ve come to realize comes from nsb themselves which explains everything. Like they constantly use “no cap” like wtf is that even? I say cap as short for screencap like a screenshot? Is it supposed to be the same as no lie? A lot of the words that Shane and Ryan try to figure out are recycled definitions but new words like “chronically online” is the same as “go touch some grass” which is the same as saying get off the Internet. Idfk bro I’ll stick to my own vocab please y’all got me saying “girlie” and “bestie” and I hate bestie so much. Girlie feels like sarcasm or something. Idk and gaslight like the definition I got from someone was literally what manipulation means? Or they give situations or something a word just because? And then I’m like “well that’s been around for a long time and it’s this” but then y’all gave it a word like why tho??

Idk but I’m so happy to watch Shane and Ryan again and those videos of them guessing gen z slang are entertaining. I was excited to see Ghost Files cause I cried watching the last episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved and I’ve finally gotten around to watching their new content and damn I’ve really missed the Ghoul Boys so much. I love their energy and just everything about them Shane is still the cool grandpa guy and Ryan is still himself lol. Just missed the interactions between them.

#the watcher #the ghoul boys #shane madej #ryan bergara #it’s weird cause ryan I totally adore and I get ya’know #but the Ryan or nsb although cute it not my vibe lol #omg ‘vibe’ 💀💀#like I understand the humor of older people and not the kids ya’know #anyway #really happy to watch them again #also also the ‘arch backed’ was something nsb ryan said and I thought it was cute #shut up #I’m trying to uninvest myself

32 notes · View notes

nevermindirah · 3 years ago

Note

Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

#nile freeman #linguistics #TOG POC Love Fest #nileweek2021 #tog meta #tog #long post #mine #antiblackness #jewish things #hi i'm an antizionist jew no i don't really want to talk about it

232 notes · View notes

91vaults · 2 years ago

Text

OK, as an early-mid Australian Millennial There's some things I have to get off my chest.

Some of the songs we used to sing as kids absolutely boggled my mind then and continue to do for the past 30 years

Lets start with "Mr Clicketty Cane"

It's a song about this dude who likes to do all kinds of crazy shit. An excerpt from the lyrics. The singer sings then the kids repeat the words:

When Mr Clicketty Cane plays his silly game All the kids in the street, they like to do the same Wash your face in orange juice Wash your face in orange juice

---

Clean your teeth with bubble gum Clean your teeth with bubble gum Fix the fence with sticky tape Fix the fence with sticky tape Brush your hair with a toothbrush Brush your hair with a toothbrush

And then when the line:

Belly flop in a pizza

Came on it was customary for all the kids to say "Belly flop in a pizza?? Eww Yuck!"

and I'm like...why is belly flopping in a pizza where we draw the line?? this mother fucker is out here washing his face in orange juice and cleaning teeth with bubble gum (Even though he clearly owns a toothbrush but uses it on his hair) and trying to fry an egg on a metal slide in the middle of summer. Belly flopping in a pizza is the worst thing? it makes no sense

or the other one "The Little Green frog" this is the version I remember

Galumph, went the little green frog one day Galumph, went the little green frog Galumph, went the little green frog one day Galumph, galumph, galumph, galumph, galumph

But we all know frogs go Ladedadeda ladedadeda ladedadeda We all know frogs go ladedadeda They don't go Galumph, galumph, galumph

But they dooo? galumph is an accurate approximation of a frogs sound (at least some of them) whats with this Ladeda shit? This song was a god damn LIE.

There is no point to this post aside from getting that off my chest

#Australian millennial #Australia #Australian pop culture #nostalgia #Australian nostalgia #Australia culture #kids songs #long post #pop culture #childhood #childhood memories #90's nostalgia #Australian 90's

4 notes · View notes

darkacademicfrom2021 · 3 years ago

Text

Away. So, so far away.

<<Previous part Masterlist

Alternative ending with Bucky>>

Alternative ending with Loki>>

Word count: 2,2K

Warnings: angst, incarceration, jealousy, alcohol, minor cursing.

Loki felt alone. In solitude, he thought of you more often than he would've liked to recognize. Magic was of no use for him to leave, but he was still able to conjure a few things. He kept going back to that picture you had hung on your apartment, hoping you'd be back and notice the picture was gone. Hoping you'd ask more questions to Thor, enough for him to lose his mind and tell you everything.

That picture took him back to the beach it was taken in. He remembers that moment so well, it's imprinted on his brain, tattooed so it'd never leave him. It was in one of the first missions you two went together.

He was in denial. He didn't want to be your friend, much less get close. You tried, you tried a lot, in different ways. You got him things that reminded you of him from other missions. You teased him, trying to match his sarcasm. You listened to him if he wanted to talk. He had started to care for you but he was still taken aback with all of those… feelings, he was cultivating. Mere seeds you were growing in his dried garden of a heart.

The mountain excursion was not a one-time thing. You did that with almost every mission, periodically searching for moments to steal and roam around the place. In that exact mission, you stole some nights on a nearby beach.

You went alone every night, and came back refreshed. Hair wet, shoes leaving a trail of sand through the hotel room, your blankets always uncomfortably sandy. Loki stayed in his bed, two individuals, reading the whole time. He didn't fall asleep until you were back. It was a dangerous place, and you left at night, after all. It was the least he could do, he thought with a sour taste on his tongue, like admitting he cared made him disgusted.

The second night you came with a handful of colorful and pointy shells, each one different from the other, picked carefully and thoughtfully. Most of them shined, or had golden lines, which very obviously reminded you of your asgardian roommate.

"They're for you", you stated excitedly, leaving them at his nightstand.

He remembers he scoffed and, without taking his eyes off the book, he said something among the lines of "you shouldn't bother being childish with me".

You didn't get mad over it. You were used to him being cold, at that time, where you were alright sharing a room and talking but he wouldn't actually talk. He was reserved, you'd say. You had a liking for quiet people, despite your explosive and loud self.

You kept the shells to yourself and didn't bring them up again. Except, the night that followed, you came back with more shells. Leaving them at his night stand, you didn't say anything and got your things ready to shower. He didn't take his eyes off the book and started saying,

"Again with that? I told you…", but as soon as he watched them, he went silent. You smirked.

"For Your non-childish Highness".

The shells were all black. All picked with especial detail to be the most pure form of black you could possibly find.

He still has those. Somewhere in the apartment he's not allowed to step into.

The last night of that mission, he joined you. You didn't even need to ask him, he just proposed to walk by your side to take some fresh air and stretch before bed. You walked around the beach, and even convinced him to dip his feet on the sea. If you would've been closer at the time, he was sure you'd thrown him fully clothed to the water.

That night he realized he could possibly care a lot more for you than he had initially thought.

He sighed, staring at the picture from his cell. Nobody was around yet. Too early —or too late. He missed you. He thought of leaving a note, and he even wrote it down many times. He is not so sure they got to you. It was part of the punishment and he had to be constantly reminded he couldn't be with you anymore.

He missed you so, so much.

"I'm so, so done with you!!", you yelled to the God of Thunder sitting across the room, just by the long bar of Stark's Tower. "You lying piece of shit, you damned…".

Thor flinched, and then frowned. It wasn't usual for you to lose your temper, much less to him. Bucky and Steve quickly grabbed you by the shoulders and told you to calm down in between whispers.

"Stark, get them a lemonade", hurried Steve.

"No, no. I want to watch this unfold", he laughed and Bucky gave him a dead glare.

"They's too drunk. This is unfair", he said, and Tony sighed.

"They doesn't get drunk".

"Damn fucking well I'm not. Get away from me, I'm trying to talk to this silent asshole over there. Come here, you fucking dipshit", you got rid of their grip and almost jumped to Thor's side.

"Very well, tiny avenger. What would you want…", he began, cheeks red from his own asgardian-sized drink.

"It's been an entire month and a week. Tell me everything you're not telling me", you demanded. He laughed obnoxiously. Loki, watching from the cell through the sphere, boiled in rage.

"Loki… is not worth your time, mortal. You should just get together with sergeant Barnes already", he spat like it was the obvious thing that should happen. Loki decided he'd stab him six—no, seven times as soon as he got to see him, with his sharpest and longest dagger.

"What on Earth do you mean by that?!".

"Calm, calm. The thing is, to save you some more pain, get over him because he's not coming back".

"What have you all done to him? I'll go get him myself".

"Don't be so imprudent. He's not coming back to you, that's for sure".

You insisted. And insisted. And Thor didn't wish his brother to look bad in your eyes, but in his opinion… he looked for it.

Thor was still extremely upset at Loki for going to Jötunheim looking for a throne he very obviously did not deserve, and then had the guts to call himself a rational man. Thor had been reprimanded by Loki himself as a careless oaf for waging war between realms a few years ago, but Loki had just done that —except he was even thirstier for power, and had more to lose.

To Thor, Loki looked for it, and you shouldn't suffer because of it.

So, he decided to lie. To save you some pain, and probably out of pity too.

"My brother took the chance and went for Jötunheim's throne", he said, and you scoffed.

"I knew that. I don't know why he isn't…", you began, and stopped as Thor raised his eyebrows. "I knew he did it after, okay? It's not like I could actually stop him. Now tell me what's next. Why hasn't he come home?".

"He… he got the same answer, that he needed the possibility of leaving an heir, so he…".

Loki watched with extreme attention. Thor wasn't going to actually say something like that, right? He knew his brother was upset, but… he wouldn't, right?

"So he what, Thor?".

"He just married a Jötun woman. She's with child. He has no intentions of coming back ever again".

Loki laughed, incredulous. You wouldn't believe that, would you? His heart was beating so fast he felt it burst open.

"He what? No, no. He didn't, you're lying".

"He did. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner".

"No… it's not true. It's not. He loves me, and I love him".

"He loves the throne even more".

You had to sit on the floor. Bucky ran to your side and you broke down in his arms. You cried so loud, Loki's chest felt like blowing up for sure this time.

He summoned an energy blast that broke every single furniture on his cell, accompanied with a scream that he was sure you would've heard from there if his cell wasn't silenced with blocking spells. He couldn't keep his anger for himself anymore.

He forgave Thor for many things. But now… He will never, ever in the almost four millennials they have left to live, forgive Thor for that.

On the roof of the compound, the sunsets were better, you always said.

You laid your back against the tiles and watched the sun with puffy eyes from last night. Loki was watching you with the half-broken sphere, and, lost in thought —much like you— didn't seem to notice James getting on the roof too. He rubbed your back comfortingly and you greeted him with a sad smile.

"Hey", he said. He spoke like you'd break down again. "How are you feeling?".

"I'm sorry about yesterday", you hurried. "I was very drunk. I don't have filters and get all intense and emotional when I drink too much".

"Don't apologize, you were right to feel that way. Loki's an asshole".

Both you and Loki flinched at that. Loki, because the damn soldier was right. To your eyes, Loki was now an asshole.

"I don't feel like I should believe Thor", you mumbled. "But Thor has never lied to me".

"It sounds crazy, I know… you were such a couple. I don't think I've ever seen that guy smile if it wasn't with you", he said, and placed a hand over yours. You let him. Loki sighed.

"I just… I can't imagine him being like that. I know he's done bad things in the past. I know his whole history with betrayal. But he's different now. I want to believe he's changed".

"Because of you?", Bucky raised his eyebrows, and you chuckled in embarrassment, nodding and putting your lips in a tight line. "Don't get me wrong, you're great. You're… wonderful. But…".

"But nothing is the direct cause of someone changing. I know. I didn't mean to sound so egocentric".

"I know. But I meant it when I said you're wonderful. That's what I've been saying all this time. You don't deserve to be stepped on like this".

Loki could feel his heartbeat race. He knew what followed now. You'd soon forget him and fall in love with the sexy supersoldier that held your hand and complimented you and treated you like the world you were, because Loki wasn't there and Loki hurt you enough to be vulnerable to everyone's eyes.

Loki was sure you hated him now.

"It's just that… I love him so much, I feel my heart shrink a little each day".

Bucky sighed, and hugged you with only one arm —the warm one. You put your head on his shoulder. He kissed your forehead.

"You'll be fine, sweetheart. I promise".

Loki stopped keeping count of how long he's been locked up. Between the time differences in Asgard and Midgard, and the fact that he had no other way to tell than to scratching a fucking wall every day, he's not so sure how long it's been.

He doesn't have the sphere anymore. He hasn't had it for a long time, now. It felt long. He isn't sure how long. His mother found it missing and went to him. His mother wasn't upset. She knew why he took it. Why he needed it.

Loki isn't sure if it's been a few months, a year or if you're already buried deep inside a grave. He shudders and flinches at the thought. But it would've happened with or without him. After all, you're a mortal. Or were.

"Loki, my son", called Frigga. He was still laying on the bed, staring at the roof. She was carrying a handful of books.

He looked up and scanned her. She was dressed up.

"The Ball", he stated, and his heart weighed even more. The Ball happened, for Earth's chronology, every ten years. He now knows, he's been locked up for five. "I assume you're planning on keeping me here for at least another… three days", he said, looking at the books.

"Loki", she warned. How could he sass her even in his current position? She thought.

"That's all you've been saying. You come here, and look at me disappointedly, and call my name with its various pet names. I beg you to stop pretending you don't know what to say. If you're biting your tongue, free it, or bite it enough to draw blood".

"It's already bleeding, Loki", she frowned, tossing his books through the walls of the cell. "I have many things I'd like to say to you. I don't think it's wise anymore".

"When am I getting out?".

"You're not getting out any time soon, son".

"I know that. I'm asking when exactly. A decade? A hundred? A millenia?", she sighed, and Loki raised his voice, "TELL ME!!".

Loki hadn't had enough time. If he were to ever see you again, he had to get out right now. And even then he was sure you'd never receive him back again.

"Now, watch your tone, boy".

Loki growled animalistically, and tossed himself back to bed.

"Leave".

His mother left. She came back a few weeks later, only to find an empty cell.

(Taglist: @lucywrites02 , @louieboo87 , @the-departed-potato , @jesuswasnotawhiteman , @idontknow296 , @beksib , @spythoschei , @geekwritersworld , @whatafuckingdumbass , @mysticunicorn7 @shadowolf993 , @joscelyn02 , @t00-pi , @selfship-mishaps , @sallymagnoliaposts , @deadgirl88 , @enderslove, @theonewiththenerds, @vicmc624 )

#loki x reader #loki x gender neutral reader #loki x y/n #loki headcanon #loki odinson #Loki #loki fic #loki fanfic #loki x you #loki x masc reader #loki x fem reader #loki x gn reader #thor loki #loki laufeyson #loki friggason #y/n #loki series #loki serie

25 notes · View notes

speechlessxx · 5 years ago

Text

Secret’s Out (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Summary: Steve Rogers is a terrible liar.

Warnings: this was rushed (literally came to me in my sleep so im sorry if it’s kinda on the bad side), Bucky and Sam being an iconic duo, nothing bad really happens it’s just humorous.

I’m not gonna lie this is more Bucky & Sam teasing Steve than it is Steve x Reader.

Word Count: 2.1k

Feedback is appreciated! I hope you enjoy!

THIS IS A CONTINUATION OF Heaven is in Your Arms

Steve Rogers is a terrible liar.

Everyone knows. He’s god’s righteous man. He’s America’s golden boy – the perfect soldier. Steve Rogers is many things, but a good liar is not one of them.

His tells were clear as day. He’d advert his gaze, he’d blush a bit, his brows would furrow, or his fingers would tremble slightly. Sometimes he’d completely ignore a question so that he wouldn’t have to provide an answer. Only those who really knew the soldier knew exactly what to look for.

“When can we see this new place?” Bucky had asked one afternoon as Steve stopped by the compound to train. Steve pretended that he didn’t hear his friend as he directed an agent to use their agility against an opponent twice their size. Bucky chuckled a bit.

Sam walked up to the two men after his session in the weight room. His skin glistened with sweat as he put his arm on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky scowled at him, shrugging his sweaty arm off. “So, Steve, it’s been a year since you moved out. How’s the city life?”

“It’s great.” Steve responded just before he barked instructions to the agents. The other two shared a glance.

“You see, Bucko,” Sam started, “to get Steve to answer you, you gotta ask the right questions.”

“Is that so?” Bucky asked, mockingly.

Sam nodded with a smirk. “You gotta make this man sweat a little.”

“Don’t you two have some reports to finish?” Steve cut in.

“Reports were mandatory?” Bucky asked, his brows shot up in surprise. Steve and Sam frowned a bit and looked at their older friend with concern. “I’m kidding.” (He was not).

“Any sweet ladies in the city that you would like the team to know about?” Sam asked. Steve’s muscles stiffened as his jaw clenched. Sam and Bucky immediately took notice of his reaction. Steve’s silence gave them all the confirmation. “Hmmm… We can give you lady advice, Steve. You know we got you.”

“You guys are as bad as Natasha,” Steve muttered as he shook his head. (Little did they know that their advice wasn’t needed).

The following day was Steve’s day off. He promised you a picnic at the park as his apology for the 5-day mission that turned out to be a week and a half. You wore a thin light blue sweater and he wore his signature civilian get up – compete with the plaid button up and slacks. Of course, he made casual look dapper.

You laid out the blanket and flattened it onto the grass before you sat down. Steve placed the wicker basket in the center of the blanket before he situated himself next to you. He threw you a grin as you opened the basket.

“What’s got you in a happy mood?” You asked him as you pulled out your sandwiches.

He shrugged. “I don’t know… just happy to be here with you.”

“That’s cute, Rogers,” you chuckled.

Steve smirked as you began to eat. “This is great, honestly.” He said, taking a bite into his food. You quirked an eyebrow up at him as you swallowed. “You, me, picnic in the park. City’s not being attacked by aliens.” You laughed. He smiled. He loved hearing you laugh.

“What’s the next threat? Zombies?” You joked.

Steve gave you a teasing look. “That’s confidential.”

“Oh, please tell me it’s zombies. I’ve been binge watching zombie movies and I’m 100% certain I’ll survive.” Steve rolled his eyes as you ranted on about zombie survival 101.

“I’ve fought Nazis, Aliens, Titans – please, please, let it stop there. No zombies,” Steve chuckled.

“Scared, Steve?” You taunted.

He scoffed. “Not when I have a zombie expert by my side, darling.” You teasingly looked away. “Wait, you will be by my side during a zombie apocalypse, right?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but – “Steve’s jaw dropped in fake betrayal. You immediately took back your words. “Wait, no! Steve!” You reached over to him, but he snatched his hand away. You gasped. “How rude!”

“You have the audacity to leave me to fend for myself!” Steve pouted.

“Pouting doesn’t look good on you, Stevie.”

He gasped again, a hand flew to his heart. “Now you’re just trying to break my heart, doll.”

“Come here, you big baby,” you rolled your eyes at him as you pulled him to a kiss.

When you pulled away, Steve said, “oh, I think my heart is still broken.” He pulled you back in and smiled into the kiss.

“Oh my!” A woman’s voice gasped. You two broke apart and saw Margaret, your neighbor, strolling around with her yorkie.

“Miss Margaret, it’s pleasure to see you.” You smiled at the woman and she returned it.

“Clearly not as pleasurable as your little moment,” she teased which caused you to blush. You chuckled awkwardly as you looked away. “I’m glad to see you both out and enjoying this lovely day. You know how these millennials are nowadays. Always indoors, playing on their little Instachat and SnapPay.” Steve chuckled at her wording. (Before he had met you, he’d often mix up the social media platforms himself). “Oh, (Y/N), would you be a dear and walk the pup for a bit? I can’t bend down – “

“Oh, I can – “Steve began, but Margaret was very adamant that you were the one to go. Without hesitation, you stood up and took the leash from her. You cooed at the yorkie, who was very excited to see you, as you walked away.

“Now, Stevie,” Margaret said, her tone becoming stern, “have you gotten the ring?” Steve smiled as he admitted, yes. “Do you have it on you?”

“I’ve been waiting for the right time,” Steve confessed.

“Now’s a perfect time if any,” Margaret pushed. “She’s such a sweet girl. You’re a great man. You’ve been together for a while now…”

“I don’t want to ask her at an inappropriate time. I haven’t even decided what to say,” Steve admitted with embarrassment. He was known for his remarkable, inspirational speeches but for some reason he’d become speechless when he tried to propose. Every time he had the opportunity to pop the question, he became a fumbling, babbling mess that he just dropped it altogether. The velvet box he carried in his pocket for months became heavier and heavier.

“Practice, sweetheart.”

Steve sighed as he tried.

In all honesty, they could’ve done better. Hiding out in an inconspicuous van made look even more suspicious. But the two grew impatient and desperate as they parked the black van (minutes after you’ve left to walk the dog).

“What do you see?” Bucky asked Sam who had binoculars pressed up against his eyes.

“He’s talking to an old lady,” Sam muttered. “Oh, my god.”

“What?” Bucky asked, trying to take the lenses but Sam shoved him away.

“He’s asking this old lady to marry him!” Sam screamed. This time Bucky was successful at tearing the binoculars from Sam’s grip.

“What the hell, punk,” Bucky muttered.

“Damn, I knew he had a girl, but I didn’t know he had… a grandma…” Sam laughed. “Steve really took Nat’s ‘get a girl with the same life experience’ thing too seriously. She’s probably been alive as long as you, Bucky.” The two erupted into fits of laughter.

“Sammy, you owe me 10 bucks.”

-=+=-

Steve showed up to the compound the next with a big smile. He had done it. He had actually done it. And you said yes despite his stuttering and ‘um’s. You said yes.

“So, Stevie,” Sam started as Steve began to lift weights. “Anything fun happen on your day off?” Steve didn’t respond.

“Yeah, punk, anything interesting?”

“Actually,” Steve muttered as he lifted the weights with ease, “yeah. Something interesting did happen.”

“Oooh?” Sam stifled his laugh. “Do tell.”

“I will later.” Steve promised.

Nat walked into the gym and frowned at the two men who huddled around Steve. “Are you sharing stories around the campfire or are you working out?” She asked the two.

“Gossiping,” Sam answered.

“Steve walked in with the biggest grin on his face,” Bucky explained to Natasha as he walked over to another machine.

“Oh?” Natasha smirked as she sauntered over to Steve. “This have something to do with a girl?”

“A lady?” Sam asked.

“An old dame, perhaps?” Bucky added. Steve shot him a confused stare before shrugging.

“Perhaps.”

This made Sam and Bucky burst out into laughter again.

-=+=-

You fumbled with the ring as you rode anxiously in the taxi. The ring was dainty and elegant. It wasn’t too flashy (not that it needed to be). It was simple and beautiful – much like the life that you were building together. The man offered you a kind smile through the rearview mirror which you returned. “Avengers Compound, huh?” He asked. “You a recruit or something?”

“Oh no,” you shook your head, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Just visiting someone.”

“Must be one hell of a someone to be working there.” The man laughed. You chuckled.

“He sure is.”

-=+=-

“Why are you calling a meeting?” Tony asked Steve with an exasperated look on his face. He had just returned from a trip to MIT with Pepper. He was clearly tired. “And why aren’t we in the meeting room?”

Steve sighed as he looked towards the front doors. Any second now.

“Steve wants us to meet someone,” Sam explained. He and Bucky shared a look as they both stopped themselves from laughing.

“Cut it out,” Natasha scolded.

“Oh, you’re gonna be laughing, too,” Bucky mumbled. “Just wait.”

Suddenly the entrance opened, and Steve immediately ran towards it. You gave him a nervous look while he gave you an encouraging smile. He took your hand in his as he walked you towards the group. Bucky and Sam immediately stopped snickering.

“Okay, everyone, this is (Y/N).” Steve introduced. Everyone was in a standstill. “She’s my fiancé.” There was a moment of silence as Bucky and Sam tried to piece together their puzzle, only to realize they were looking at the wrong picture the entire time. Unless Steve magically had the Time Stone and reversed your aging, you definitely weren’t the elderly woman in the park.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you!” Natasha finally smiled as she walked up to you and gave you a warm embrace. “He’s kept the details to himself. Not much of a talker.”

You nodded, the nervous smile still dancing on your lips. “So, you’re the reason why Steve left?” Tony asked, abruptly. “Left the compound, I mean.”

You glanced at Steve who shook his head. “Uh, no… I told him to stay. He’s the stubborn one.” Natasha laughed at your response.

“Wait, wait,” Sam said, shaking his head. The confusion still fresh. “That old lady in the park from yesterday? She isn’t who you proposed to? Because I vividly remember seeing you get on one knee and ask her.”

“You were in the park?” Steve asked.

“We both were.” Bucky admitted.

“You proposed to Margaret?” You asked, a laugh escaping you. Steve blushed. “Aw, Stevie!” You gushed as you kissed his cheek. “When you told me you were nervous, I didn’t think you were that nervous.”

“So, Margaret is?”

“Our neighbor,” you laughed.

“She asked you to walk her dog so that she can scold me for not asking already.” Steve confessed to you. “She helped me pick the ring out months ago.”

“Months?” Tony asked, brows rose in surprise. “C’mon, pal, you gotta step up your game.”

“Happy had been carrying around a ring since 2008, sit down, Stark,” Natasha defended. She asked if she could look at your ring. You held up your hand and she marveled at the diamond. “Nice taste, Rogers.”

“Wait,” Steve cut in. “You guys thought I was dating Margaret, my elderly neighbor?”

“Whose old enough to be my grandmother’s grandmother?” You asked.

Bucky and Sam nodded, shamefully. You and Steve laughed. “Why were you guys stalking me?” Steve added, frowning a bit.

“You weren’t answering our questions.” Bucky answered. “We were curious.” Steve opened his mouth, but Bucky pointed at him, accusingly. “Don’t say ‘you could’ve asked’ because we did… You just wanted to keep your life a secret. And you’re a terrible liar.”

Steve gaped at his response and looked at you for your input. You shrugged. “You are a terrible liar, babe.”

“Wow, thanks, darling.” Steve said sarcastically.

“Well, secret’s out.” Sam clapped. “Steve Rogers officially off the market, for good.”

“Hey,” Bucky said, bumping Sam’s shoulder. “You owe me ten dollars.”

Sam shrugged him off. “Man, get off me, you little roach.”

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fic #chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans fic #fan fiction #reader insert #x reader #captain america #captain america imagine #captain america x reader

1K notes · View notes

mcchipisfried · 4 years ago

Text

DEArtfest Day 29 - Stuck In A Closet

Okay I’m not gonna lie I really liked writing this one!

(There’s a little surprise at the end that I hope you guys enjoy)

I really hope Maximilian never sees this

“Nines what the fuck? Move your fucking arm its going to fucking break my ribs!”

“Gavin, I can assure you you are in no such danger of me breaking anything. But I regret to inform you that there is no way I’m “moving my fucking arm” unless you move your fucking body.”

How they ended up like this was to say the least, hard to explain. It started with Gavin hiding from Hank because he had “accidentally” set his screen saver to a picture of Connor’s face photoshopped into a picture of the Terminator's body. This was of course no accident and was in fact a prank.

It was quite funny if you asked Gavin. Peak Millennial/ Gen Z humor. Hank apparently had no sense of humor, although he probably would have laughed if Fowler hadn’t come up behind him just as he logged in to see said photoshopped version of Connor. Hank’s mouth had never been so wide and Fowler had never sighed so loudly before that moment. He promptly turned back to go into his office, muttering about retirement while Hank tried to explain that no he would never have something like that as his screensaver for work to both Connor and Fowler.

Connor comforted Hank and tried to explain he believed him while Hank looked around the precinct, spotted Gavin trying to hide behind his computer and Nines doing his best to look at the papers he had in his hand. Of course Gavin would do something like this but he wasn’t smart enough to hack his computer. Only an android would be able to do something like that. He turned to Connor who quickly looked at Nines and Gavin, coming to a similar conclusion just as Hank had. He turned to look at Hank. Hank nodded at Connor.

“You take Nines. I'll take Reed. Divide and conquer.”

They both scrambled towards Nines and Gavin’s desks as the other duo rushed in the other direction because dammit they had balls but they knew when to run.

Gavin and Nines split, going in opposite directions. Gavin shoving himself into a broom closet, breathing heavily. He heard running steps quickly passing him by. Damn him Hank could still run faster than Gavin but all that hair was probably covering part of his eyes since he didn’t bother to check the closet. He quieted a laugh as he heard other footsteps running and opening the broom closet. Fuck. LED. It was Connor. Now he knew he was definitely going to die. Or that's what he thought until Connor shoved himself on top of Gavin and closed the door before another set of footsteps passed the door. That’s when he realized it was actually Nines. That’s also when he realized it was way too cramped in the tiny broom closet.

“ Nines what the fuck? Move your fucking arm its going to fucking break my ribs!” Gavin loudly whispered. It was too cramped. Way too cramped.

“Gavin, I can assure you you are in no such danger of me breaking anything. But I regret to inform you that there is no way I’m “moving my fucking arm” unless you move your fucking body.” Nines said trying to twist his body to face Gavin but failing as he still didn’t want to hurt him.

“If anything, you should be more worried about Connor or Hank breaking your ribs for making that stupid picture.” Nines said, finally managing to turn his body without accidentally crushing the Detective.

“Okay but you were the one who managed to get it on Hank’s computer.”

“I only did that because the other option was to print them out. Everyone would have known it was you and at least this way there would be more of a mystery.” Nines said miserably, resigning himself to leaning on the door and trying to give Gavin as much space to breathe.

“You have to admit it was funny though. Did you see Fowler's face? They are not getting another case for at least two weeks!” Gavin chuckled to himself even more.

“Yes but you didn’t have to use the Terminator poster. You could have just used a random poster of a robot. I think it would have gotten a similar enough reaction.” Nines grumbled, something clearly bothering him.

“Tin Can, the Terminator poster was perfect. Anything else would not have been funny enough.” Gavin tried to explain. He noticed Nines wasn’t so happy about their little prank. He thought Nines would enjoy messing with Connor and Hank but it seemed he was wrong.

“I just...think it didn’t have to be the Terminator. I mean you said I was the Terminator so I thought that was something you used exclusively-”

“Whoa whoa whoa, Nines,” Gavin smiled before continuing. He brought his hand to cup Nines face as best as he could.

“Are you jealous?” Gavin asked. Of course he was. He had to be.

“What? No Detective, I may be a deviant but I am certainly not jealous-”

“No but you are! You’re jealous I used a Terminator picture for Connor!” Gavin laughed, oh this was too good. Fuck it if Connor or Hank found him and broke a couple bones. He could end up in the hospital happy knowing Nines was jealous of something so dumb.

“Tin Can don’t worry. You’re my only Terminator. And besides I used a poster from the really bad one from like 2015. If you ever let me photoshop you I promise to use the poster from one of the good movies.” Gavin smiled at Nines and leaned in to give him a chaste kiss. Of course his Terminator could get jealous. He was as human as Gavin was. Maybe even more so. Nines smiled but before he could say anything he felt the door behind him open and he hugged Gavin close to him as he felt himself fall.

Gavin yelped at being brought down with Nines before they both looked up to see Hank, Connor, Chris, and Tina all smirking as they looked down at them. Tina was holding her phone recording them.

“Oh Gavin I can’t wait to show this to Fowler. Just coming back from your vacation and you’re already sneaking into closets to make out.” Tina said before running off in the direction of Fowler's office. Gavin scrambled up and ran after her.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Gavin yelled as he turned the corner.

Nines was still on the floor, his clothes covered in dust but smiling like nothing was wrong in the world.

“Wait so he calls you the “Terminator” as a pet name?”

Gavin used Connor’s face on the Genisys Poster and he used Judgement Day for Nines because Judgement Day is the best terminator movie don’t @ me

I’ve taken Digital Media Classes and know how to photoshop I SWEAR-

Please don’t let Maximilian see this pls

Anyways I hope my terrible photoshoping skills didn’t blind you!

#fanfic #detroit evolution #reed900 #terminator #deartfest #maximilian koger #stuck in a closet

89 notes · View notes

werezmastarbucks · 4 years ago

Text

Whitmore Guy comes clean

Whitmore Guy masterlist

word count: 4158

music: why are you here by mgk, halfway dead by steve aoki, global dan and travis barker

“I’m here”, he said after a pause. By this time she was already sat in her bed, in a defensive position, with her knees firmly in the mattress.

“Mal!”

He didn’t let her finish.

“Would you have preferred me to stay invisible, would that make you feel more comfortable?” he asked reasonably, reading her mind. “You know I’ve been here. Because I told you”.

“Bonnie did”, she yelled, “Bonnie did! What are you, Mal?”

Mal stepped out of the darkness without making noise, and it hit her finally. Finally. He’s not human. There’s no way in hell he’s mortal! The way he moves, the way he never looks tired, although he claims to barely ever sleep, the way he just manifests himself at places; she thought of the first time they met, back in the gatherings hall, and how he smelt sweet like chewing candy. And how she thought he might be a trickster. That would suit him well. The eyes were pitch black in the twilight of the room. Y/N didn’t move.

“That’s a bit harsh”, he said coldly. “What am I, really? You think I’m some kind of monster?”

He chuckled and gave his light attitude away.

“How did you get inside my house? You never broke the lock”, she said quietly.

“I picked it. It’s easy. Do you want me to show you?”

She got out of bed puffing. She wasn’t afraid of him, but he creeped her out. If that makes sense? She felt like she could take him out, no matter what, and not because she could arguably throw a punch. But because she had certain power over him. Mal has always been nice to her, not in a friendly way, but in a ‘you’re special’ way. As opposed to everybody else. With other people, he was superficial, secretly arrogant and dismissive, but he treated her differently which, unfortunately for him, gave her the advantage. That’s what she thought.

Mal smiled slowly as she approached him, circling the bed. He bit his lower lip, pretending to check her out.

“You never answer any of my questions. You never tell me the truth”.

“I never lie to you, either. You just gotta ask the right questions”.

Mal lifted his hand and looked at the invisible watch on his wrist.

“We have to go. Can you get dressed really quickly?”

She narrowed her eyes. Obviously, something’s up if he showed up in her house. And didn’t ‘stay invisible’. Clearly, she needs to call Damon ASAP and check on them. Her paranoia told her to. Yet, she was standing there, in comfortable darkness, allowing him to listen to her heartbeat, two steps away from him, and her head was filled with the memories of them making out on the couch after the dinner party. Between the dinner party and finding the bodies in the house next door. She wanted to kiss him again, wanted so very badly, but thankfully, she was a thinking creature. Hot take: the desires of the body are not stronger than the council of the brain. Mal wanted that, too. His face was lean, wolf-like in the shadows, and he watched her carefully, badly hidden threat behind his smile. His smile was always only lips-deep, like a sticker he put over his face, like a mask. Every time Y/N touched him, it fell, and she took in his deep, dark color, and she couldn’t get enough of it.

“You think I’m going anywhere with you, you’re severely mistaken”, she said.

“I thought you wanted to know the truth”, Mal said innocently, and tilted his head.

“Truth about what? There’s too many things messed up to know clearly what you mean”.

“What if I tell you they’re all connected? Your gape in the head, and Damon going on a killing spree, and…” he paused, puzzled, “uh… that…” he closed his eyes, ruining the mysterious allure. He was trying to recall a name again. “That dude… Ma… Mutt?”

“Mal, fucking hell”, she threw her hands up, “Matt, his name was Matt, and he was one of my best friends”.

Mal nodded, seeing that she wasn’t joking anymore. Y/N stepped away and went to the window to open the curtains and let some more light into the room.

“Why don’t you jump out of your pj’s and put something on, so that we can go? It won’t be too nice in the town for the next ten hours or so”.

She turned abruptly.

“What do you mean?”

Mal shrugged again.

“I will honestly strike you on the head if you don’t stop talking in riddles”.

Mal licked his lips, and she finally saw, as the street light fell on him, that his jaws were pressed together. His eyes were dark because he was pissed, even though he smiled, even though his voice was close to normal, the usual. There was a time bomb inside his head, and she could all but hear the ticking behind his eyes.

“Listen, I don’t have time to chat you up, okay?” he said, and it sounded like he was a stranger. Y/N’s instincts kicked in, and she grouped standing at the window, like a small animal. As Mal moved towards her, her brain made a crazy attempt to convince her crawling out of the window will be a good idea.

When he grabbed Y/N by the shoulder, she could feel the zip again, that happened occasionally. He always wore synthetic shirts, and she got quite used to it. She never even brought it up, and now suddenly, it was clear as day that she should have. There were no accidents with Mal. This weird itchy feeling when he touched her, meant something and he knew about it, too. She was startled for a second, then she tried to kick out, but his fingers wrapped around her forearm decisively.

“I gave you a chance to change, now you gotta ride all the way to Georgia in your sleeping shirt”.

She didn’t know how he managed to drag her down the stairs, but when she blinked, they were already standing at the driveway. Mal walked towards her car taking her keys out of his pocket.

“Get in, we’re going”.

“What have I gotten into”, she mumbled, approaching the car and opening the door slowly. “You’re too strong for a normal dude, you know that?”

Mal smiled shortly as if she complimented him.

“I’m not a normal dude though, am I?”

He started the car quickly and drove out into the street. Mal usually refused to get behind the wheel if Y/N was willing to drive. He even whined a little about having to drive when she got too drunk to do it. Now, he looked as if he’s been the most experienced driver. The wheel was calm and obedient under his hand, and it felt like betrayal, too. Like she didn’t know him at all. Y/N looked at him, the side of his face, the upturned nose and focused eyes, and thought that it wouldn’t surprise her if his whole personality was a lie, too.

“What’s happening with the town? Are the guys alright?”

“How am I supposed to know?” he frowned childishly, his eyebrows gathering together. “I just don’t want you to be there when it comes down, obviously. The FBI guys have returned, apparently, and they’re determined that Damon has killed everybody… which I fully support”.

“You know damn well he hasn’t killed anybody”, Y/N bumped her fist into his shoulder and he didn’t budge.

“How do you know? You’re so brainwashed by him”, Mal threw.

“That’s far from truth”, she muttered, checking the pockets of her pants. As he was dragging her out of the room, she was still holding her phone in her hand. Millennials, am I right?

“Where’s the damn phone”, she said to herself, frustrated. Mal drove out into the main street and sped up, clearly wanting to get out of the town soon. She put both her hands into her pockets and checked the seat.

“Where’s my phone, Mal?”

“I have it”, he tapped himself on the chest pocket of his jean jacket. Y/N blinked with one eye; it was more like a twitch.

“Give it back”.

She realized he had slipped his hand into her pants while they were walking down the stairs.

“To do what?”

“Give it back, you tricky bastard”, she leaned over and grabbed him by the hand free of the wheel.

“Whoa! Calm down, psycho”, Mal grinned and pushed her back gently. “What do you need it for? It’s the middle of the night, everybody’s asleep”.

“I need to call Elena to make sure she’s alright! Do they even know the FBI… whatever they are, are in town?”

“Of course. I learnt it from them”, Mal said shortly. They were now straight on the highway leading out of Mystic Falls. The town is that small. A couple of streets, weaving inside like spider guts, a park, a square, and that’s it. A little place to live, really. It closes your mind, clogs your imagination. One can easily go crazy here.

“I was at the Craze, then the blonde slow vamp, Carrie, runs in, and her eyes are like, this big, and she says the tol and the smol are back. And I’m like, so what? And she’s like, they’re onto Dean! And I’m like, good for them, you know? Carrie is all flustered. But he’s our friend, and he didn’t kill anybody… while he totally did”, Mal shrugged. Y/N closed her eyes, irritated at his intentional name mess. He has established his dominance enough times already. There’s no need to purposefully diminish them every time, to remind her he doesn’t feel too psyched about the gang.

“And I was all, hm, there might be confrontation, so how about I take you away, yeah? It’s their own problems, let them deal with the feds themselves”, his face lit up a little, “they’re big vampires now after all”.

“I’m involved in that as well”, Y/N hissed, “you know? One of the vampires, before they all died at Craze, refused to bite me, which is a nonsense for a young vampire”.

“Oh”, he frowned a little, “then it’s all the better to take a break, right?”

She hit the back of the seat hard, looking at the dark ribbon of the road lying ahead. Her bare feet were rubbing against each other. Mal started fidgeting with the audio system and actually had the audacity to take out her phone from his pocket to connect it to the player.

“Unblock it”, he said, and it sounded more like an order. She rolled her eyes and, as he handed the phone to her, tried to grab it away from the guy. His fingers were worse than ironlike clutch of death.

“Hey, don’t be funny. Listen, I don’t mean anything to happen to you, okay? I’m just taking precautions”.

There was the familiar rectangular dark shape which was the sign with the name of the town. As the music hit the car, Mal stretched his neck a little, tilting his head from side to side, and she felt a strong desire to make him open up. She just wanted him to trust her enough to tell all. To not play anymore. It’s not that she’ll run, because there’s something wrong with him. She just needs to know to own him completely. Maybe it was crazy, too early for commitment like that, but her flaring nostrils told her she’s cooked enough.

There were cars on both sides of the road, but she couldn’t make them out properly as her own car sped past them. She turned her head back and caught the glimpse of people starting to gather on the road behind them, as if they had been expecting her car to pass, to close the way. One car moved forward and stopped right in the middle, blocking the way out of Mystic Falls.

She looked at Mal, wishing to hell he glances back, and she got severely disappointed, because when he did, there wasn’t a shred of sympathy for her distress. Her gut feeling got much worse though. It looked like a trick now, less like him acting on impulse. Mal understood it, seemingly. He shrugged off his playfulness and was completely serious now.

“I lied to you once”, he said.

I’m not myself

I’m not myself when you’re around, no

Can’t be helped,

the song chanted. He spoke calmly, his head swaying a little as if his neck was a light balloon string.

“I did steal your chain. I wanted to have a part of you with me at all times. Take it”, he lifted his elbow and opened his chest pocket. “Don’t fucking touch your phone”.

Y/N felt her whole body tense, the freeze so deep her skull got stung for a second, like she all turned into a stone.

“Or what?”

“Or I’ll break your arm”, he said.

She kept looking at his absent stare he was radiating onto the road. It’s like he wasn’t watching where he was driving at all, like he was inside somewhere. That’s a powerful stunt, demanding something from a person without even looking at them. She put out her hand out of curiosity and slid her fingers into his pocket. It was warm on the inside, the heat was coming from his body. Very normal human heat. Something stopped her, either the fear of pain, or the fear that this pain will be inflicted by Mal. Her fingers brushed over the lukewarm smooth screen of her phone, and she felt the pricky chain of her necklace. She pulled it out, and looked at it, mesmerized. Mal finally glanced at her.

“Was Martha Hopps ever your girlfriend?” she asked.

“No”, she shook his head, “I wouldn’t do you like that”.

Y/N looked back again and clutched her necklace in her fist. Her other hand crawled to the handle of the door. Mal was speeding no less than fifty miles on the highway. She pulled the handle and pushed the door with her shoulder, grouping and closing her eyes. The song was filling the interior of her car. It was called ‘halfway dead to me’ and now she thought, right before throwing herself on the road and potentially killing herself, that even the music they listened to together should have communicated some message she’s missed.

It happened very quickly, as the door flew open, and the wind brushed over her violently; the sound of the highway being eaten by the wheels of the car. The dark sky, a starless back dome above; she was almost out, in the air, when his hand grabbed her by her neck and pulled back into the car so hard she collided with Mal and hit her thigh. The door of the car closed by itself with a bash and the music blasted her head like a baseball bat. Y/N closed her eyes, pressing her jaws together to withstand the pain. When it let go, she moved herself in the seat and shook her head.

“You could’ve killed yourself!” he yelled, sincerely frustrated. The car swayed as he returned both hands to the wheel. She has never seen him scared before, and it baffled her. Mal gave her a wide-eyed stare. “What is happening inside your goofy head?!”

“You’re not human!” she cried in return.

“Duh!”

She punched his shoulder once again to see that he doesn’t mind the mild pain. He barely noticed.

“You’re a vampire”.

Mal sniffed with displeasure.

“You only pulled this to test me? What if I hadn’t caught you?!”

“But that’s… that doesn’t make any sense. You walk in the sun and you eat all the time, and… others didn’t smell you”, she was still panting from the jump. Her neck ached from the stiff clutch he performed on her. In fact, Mal grabbed her so hard it felt like he was about to tear her head off completely. She rubbed her throat and the back of her neck with both hands.

“And you entered my house, without an invitation”, she finished. Mal sighed, turning the music down a little. She was still very aware of the songs that were playing. They always listened to this one playlist, which she had no memories of compiling. The title, the combination of the songs, the cover was inexplicable to her. These six months were so frustrating even this screaming oddness felt more like it was meant to be. Now she realized it was the only playlist she ever heard Mal play. And the fact that it was titled ‘douche’…

“That’s because I’ve already been there before”, he said, nonchalantly. He didn’t need to say it, she already knew.

“Malivore is in Georgia, huh”, she said. Diving deep into the seat, she looked on the path they were traveling again. Finally realizing is so liberating it’s hard to describe. For a moment, it felt like the car was completely silent.

The whole attraction thing, Mal knowing ways to get to her, the music, the movies, the manners… the mutual trust which is virtually impossible among people like him… the nights and days she felt lost, when she felt like there was a piece of her brain missing and the gaping hole whistling in the wind. The pink sky reminding her of something it couldn’t utter in human language, and the sucking, sad, tragic tunnel pulsating in her guts – all this meant she was broken over losing somebody at the shore of the sea of oblivion.

“You know how you had that strange feeling you missed somebody? And thought it was Matt?” he said with disgust. Y/N had no energy to say anything, crashed down by the powerful feeling of loss once again, all coming down at once, like she was pulled away right from her skeleton. She was looking at this stranger sitting next to her, trying to fit him into the frame of the new found truth, and he didn’t match. And that was the part of it.

She finally knew who she’s been crying about those weeks, when she would collapse on the floor of her room suddenly, startled by the outburst, confused by even why the tears are coming. The long nights she spent agonizing, - and she’d never told anyone, not even Elena – over something, crouched under the cover, seized by terror, like something was impaling her – now she knew why. Her chest got hard and narrow, and she put the hand to her throat.

“You’re the guy he threw into the Malivore”, she finally said. Mal nodded. The world was tearing apart; she could see the tear line up above, so clearly. It was fucking crumbling down in pieces. Only Damon – only that bastard could ever think of that. Of throwing someone into oblivion to erase them completely.

She might have whimpered, because Mal slowed the car down, concern on his face, and they stopped in the middle of the road. The night highway was empty and hollow, and when she left the car, almost crawling out, she noticed there were stars after all. Just very far away. Unreachable.

She felt the light movement of air on her cheek that was burning up, like the rest of her body. The road was long, leading away into the dark patch of space where the street lightning failed and gave in. The fields were quiet around them, night fog falling slowly to wrap them in its deadly embrace. The wind cried, get inside! Be safe! But the blue twilight of the forest in the distance felt like a mount of doom approaching. You couldn’t hide from it in the car. She couldn’t figure out now why she was crying. She felt so robbed; she felt like somebody had the audacity to come and tear her heart out, and now, the worst thing, she couldn’t feel anything because it was the heart she lacked. She couldn’t imagine what it must have felt like to Mal. A cautious look thrown at him found him on the other side of the hood, watching her carefully. It was as if he was afraid to approach. Maybe he thought she was too delicate, or was actually afraid.

“How…” she tried her voice, and it let her down. Only whisper came out. “How did you get out?”

Mal circled the car slowly, without hurry. There were no more sounds, just the music from the car, and his steps. Mal touched her shoulders and made her focus on him, shooting right into her eyes. He was being very dramatic.

“I crawled back to you. Wouldn’t even be the first time. Remember how I got out of hell?”

In a second only she realized that there’s a smirk crooking his dirty mouth. He enjoyed his little joke.

“Oh, of course you don’t. Sorry”.

Her hands grabbed on Mal’s elbows and she pressed herself into his chest. It’s fucked up how memories are nothing. How not having the essential information makes you lose your head as you try to understand why you trust a person you don’t know so much; why you intuitively know he’ll do no harm to you; how you’re attracted to him. His smell was familiar now, almost vital. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and felt a heavy sigh that left his body. Mal hugged her back, putting his chin on the top of her head.

“Don’t worry. I’ll show you. I’ll show you everything, I know how. I have so much to tell you… honey”.

All those days, and she cried in vain. And now she knew what she cried for. And that is so unfair her throat is about to burst with rage. Only Damon…

“I’m going to kill him”, she said gravely, all of a sudden. She could hear his heart now, too. Beating like there’s no special vampire force in it. Mal sighed again.

“It was their collective decision”.

She stepped back to look him in the face.

“What?”

“They were all on it”, he repeated. It was hard to hide the joy in his voice, like he was bringing good news. She knew now how to filter it. She knew he can’t control it.

“Even Elena?”

He rolled his eyes a little.

“Even Elena”.

Mal pulled her on the elbow gently as she started crying again.

“I’ll fix everything, I promise. Hey, they’re paying for it right now”.

With a shaking hand, she clutched his, and squeezed it.

“Mal, please… please, don’t…”

His face went hard.

“I don’t get it. Do you want to punish them or not?”

She moaned. She was holding on to his hand because the knees almost gave in. She could literally feel sanity leaving her, from the little hole in her temple. She was going mad.

“Mal…”

“It’s Kai by the way”, he added, harshly. “Kai Parker. Look at me. You know, this is what I never really understood. You’re so clearly upset, and it makes me very happy… I mean, like, not in a way that I like to see you hurt, but… well, you get it. But you still want to protect them? You were never able to make the choice, you know?”

Seeing that she is not able to object, he went on.

“Quite honestly, that’s hurtful. You know, after everything I’ve been through… you know, you have been the only person ever that didn’t hate me outright. You know? I always thought that maybe you will be the first person who chooses me over everybody else. Is that a lot to ask? I don’t know. Is it? Do you know that I spent more time searching and fighting for you since we met than actually being with you?”

“Mal, you’re hurting me”.

“It’s Kai. I am Kai. You call me Kai, because it’s my name”, he snapped, “it’s the only fucking thing I still have left. And you know who’s to blame for it? Your friends. The bunch of…” he sucked the air through his teeth. His hands were doing the opposite of what he was saying, holding her, rubbing her shoulders so that she doesn’t get cold. Maybe he held her too tightly. She yelped a little with pain, and he almost let go. Pressing his forehead close to hers, he whispered,

“This time I have made that choice for you, okay? Clearly, you need my help. I will never leave you, baby, never. You will be with me forever now, okay? Don’t worry. We’re not drifting away anymore, I won’t let it happen ever again”.

She shivered. As they kissed, she wasn’t sure who’s kissing whom. She knew she wanted it, and at the same time, in her mind, the sirens were going off, wailing like the apocalypse was banging on the walls of her consciousness. She was almost sure she knew what was happening in Mystic Falls.

#kai parker #kai parker imagine #kai parker x reader #tvd imagine #vampire diaries imagine #vampire diaries #legacies #whitmore guy

32 notes · View notes

365days365movies · 4 years ago

Text

January 4, 2021: First Blood (1982) (Part II)

Quick Recap before we go on. Oh, and SPOILERS right up top!

John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) is a Vietnam vet wandering through Washington State, until coming upon the town of Hope, run by the Sheriff Will Teasle (Brian Dennehy).

Sheriff Will Teasle is an absolute dick who arrests Rambo for no real reason; just for being a “drifter.” His police force, which includes the sadistic Galt (Jack Starrett) and sympathetic Mitch (David Caruso, AKA Horatio Caine from CSI: Miami), beats John Rambo, and post-2020 me is UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!!!

Rambo has Vietnam flashbacks (like you do) and escapes the prison, pursued by the obsessive and dickish Sheriff and his equally dickish men (except for Horatio, maybe).

Galt tries to shoot Rambo, and karma bitch-slaps him RIGHT in the face, holy shit. He dies, and Rambo is blamed and shot at, escaping into the forest.

OK?

OK. On with the recap!

At this point, all of Rambo’s actions are in self-defense. In truth, it’s been self-defense since the beginning. However, he does kill two dogs, so...yeah, can’t really justify that. That sucks. The dog’s handler gets shot by Rambo, who now has a gun, and we also see that Galt’s certified sociopathy has leaked into everybody else but Horatio upon his death, including the dog guy, who tells his dogs to straight up kill Rambo. But, as previously stated...that’s not what happens.

At this point, I should introduce the amemedala.

The amemedala is a portion of the mesencephalon (or midbrain) discovered in the brains of millennials and younger individuals, recently discovered, named, and made up by yours truly. This area, attached to the thalamus, acts as a relay center between the cerebrum and the various sensory receptors of the body, similar to the function of the thalamus. However, while the thalamus governs the broad relay of senses to the appropriate areas of the brain for analysis, the amemedala relays appropriate sensory signals to the frontal lobes, where catalogs of shared sociological trends, or memes, are housed. This relay and association generates connections between extrenal stimuli, and entries in the meme catalog of the frontal lobes. While this is technically an autonomic process, it can be suppressed with enough willpower.

Why am I ringing this up in the middle of First Blood? Because EVERY. SINGLE. CELL of my brain is working to suppress the amemedala right now. Why? BECAUSE OF THE LORAX, AND FOR WHOM HE SPEAKS.

Is it an outdated meme? Very much so. BUT I CANNOT GET IT OUT OF MY GODDAMN HEAD AS I WATCH THIS MOVIE.

OK. That is now out of my system. Anyway, Rambo continues to speak for the trees, which is understandably starting to spook the smalltown cops. This leads to the VERY surprising moment where a camouflaged Rambo appears OUT OF NOWHERE and stabs Horatio in the goddamn leg! Like, wow, he was invisible! I had to rewind the film to see where he was. This is tense...and awesome, not gonna lie. This is awesome.

And then, he gets another cop by JUMPING FROM A TREE. Well, a tree stump, BUT STILL. After he takes him out, he stands in plain sight in front of an approaching cop. That cop, subscribing once again to the shoot-first-ask-questions-later policy, fires. And I SWEAR, Rambo is FASTER THAN THOSE SPEEDING BULLETS, as he dodges out of the way, and the bullets HIT THE COP HE JUST TOOK OUT!

And then, when I didn’t think this could get any more intense, that cop triggers a booby trap, and A STICK WITH WOODEN SPIKES GOES THROUGH THIS MAN’S LEGS, AND HE’S SPEARED LIKE A KEBAB OH MY GOD

The asshole sheriff runs to the NEW set of panicked screams, and his compatriot is just Batman-ed away by Rambo. It’s just the sheriff, now. The storm is building, and the forest is getting darker. The sheriff frees leg-spike cop, and goes to find the other cop, who’s been PINNED TO A TREE LIKE A BUTTERFLY IN A DISPLAY CASE. See, look!

HOLY SHIT IT’S RAMBO WITH A KNIFE IN THE FOREST. He pins the sheriff up to a tree, then with some legitimately badass lines, threatens with the sheriff with “a war [he] wouldn’t believe,” and telling him to make like Elsa and…

I love this sequence. It is the most intense, crazy, holy shit sequence I’ve seen so far this month. Wow. I understand why people talk about this movie. Man, that was a hell of a ride! Good movie, though. All right, so, time for the final sco-

Oh. Oh, my God. I’m only HALFWAY INTO THE MOVIE?

...Wow. OK, then.

We now meet Colonel Sam Trautman, Rambo’s commander in the Green Berets. He’s come to “get his boy.” He says that he came to rescue the Sheriff’s dumb ass from Rambo, rather than the other way around. And the Sheriff is...an idiot. He’s an ass, he’s a maniac, and he’s a stubborn idiot. Even after learning that Rambo is the best, he’s unwilling to back down, the dummkopf.

Rambo kills a wild boar in the woods, which makes no sense for Washington State, but whatever, sure. Anyway, they try to get the colonel to lure Rambo out, even though that’s obviously gonna make his PTSD, just...SO much worse. Especially as he starts using Vietnam parlance in contacting him. Not gonna end well, guys. But it’s then that we learn that Rambo is now the last surviving member of his unit, contributing to his trauma. Rambo’s also been trying to get in contact with the Colonel, winding up here because he has no place to go. He says that there are no friendly civilians, and the trouble’s been caused by that “king-shit” cop. I will be using this term from now on.

Wow. Damn. Hell of a reason for that title. And I think I love this movie. Seriously, I’m having a good time.

King-Shit Cop keeps going ahead with his absolute idiocy, despite all warnings to the contrary. So, a bunch of troops now converge upon Rambo’s place, but he naturally opens fire on them, without killing a single person. In fact, he hasn’t killed anyone this whole movie, and they make a point of saying that he’s been holding back the whole time. So, they decide to use the next, most logical course of action. They FIRE A ROCKET AT HIM.

Afterwards, the Colonel and King Shit Cop catch up at a bar, where the latter exposes his full sociopathy, commenting that he just wanted to kill Rambo. This is opposed to the Colonel, who doesn’t really know what he’d do if Rambo survived.

Which, of course, he did. C’mon, you think a little military-grade propelled explosive is gonna kill John Rambo? Nah. He’s the best there ever was, and he’s gonna prove it now. He jumps into a military vehicle holding an M-60, and hijacks it. Doesn’t take long for the news to break that Rambo’s still kicking, and he’s quickly intercepted by King Shit Cop, who JUST. DOESN’T. KNOW. WHEN. TO QUIT. And I’d admire his tenacity if he wasn’t SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

The cops try to run Rambo and the truck of the road, and he plays the UNO Reverse Card on them instead. And I’m pretty sure at this point…

...that old Johnny boy’s just killed some cops. So, yeah, now there’s a bigger problem. He powers through the State Police blockade like it was a banner blocking a football team, stops at a gas station, grabs the gun from the car, and LIGHTS ALL OF THAT SHIT ON FIRE! Destroying the livelihood of an individual who had nothing to do with this.

Yeah, Rambo’s starting to turn from innocent acting in self-defense to public menace REAL quick. And yeah, it’s King Shit Cop’s fault entirely...but, yeah, Johnny needs some help, because he’s losing the train at this point. But, not to be outdone, King Shit Cop is also beginning to lose it, and it’s definitely beginning to seem like only one of them is going to come out of this alive. And the Colonel tries to give him an out, but King Shit Cop’s prepared to go down with the ship that he blew a hole in in the first place. Like an asshole.

But here we go, the finale. John Rambo vs. King Shit Cop (whose name, by the way, is Will Teasle. I just like Rambo’s name for him better). KSC’s on the roof, Rambo’s on the street. Rambo causes more property damage, possibly because banks also give him PTSD (I joke, but PTSD is no laughing matter, John clearly needs help), and then finds his way to a store that has just all of the ammo a psychologically-damaged Vietnam War veteran on a revenge quest could ever need.

And then he BLOWS. THAT. SHIT. UP.

And he does this...ALL of this...just to lure KSC out of hiding. This man DESTROYS A TOWN because this idiot, sociopathic, unhinged, King Shit Cop, won’t just STAND. THE FUCK. DOWN ALREADY.

Rambo enters the police station, where KSC is on the roof. And, like the Colonel and the rest of us guessed, KSC gets shot in the process. And as Rambo stands over KSC, the Colonel finally shows up and does what literally everybody else should have done.

Talk. He just...talks to Rambo. He talks to this mentally ill man, and that mentally ill man responds, espousing his pure anger at the war, the public, protesters, work, the country, the town, himself...everyone. And goddamn, is that shit palpable.

youtube

This man can no longer fit in the world that he was forced to leave, and forced to return to. This poor, poor, poor man. It hurts. And it sucks. And he pours his heart out to the Colonel, and to us, and...you feel it. You feel his trauma, you feel his pain. You feel the aftermath of war. And it’s been seven years at this point for the Colonel, but no time for John. Not Rambo. John. And it’s just...never over.

Damn. Goddamn.

This...this is one hell of a good movie. And not just a good action movie, either. A damn good movie.

And that’s it. That’s First Blood.

9 notes · View notes

hopeandtruth · 4 years ago

Text

Blind Date Event

WHO: Hope Clarington and Seth Evans (@xsethappeal) WHAT: Blind Date WHEN: Friday Evening, July 16th, 2021 WHERE: Breadstix TRIGGERS: Alcohol consumption, allusions of past abuse WORD COUNT: 2,965

Hope had no idea why she was here. Mainly for an eventual laugh, she supposed. Lima hosting a singles night was basically a way to get all the millennials and some Gen Z into Breadstix so they could have a really good night of profits, there was no two ways about it, yet, here she was.

Hope hadn't even been on a single date since she got to Lima, hadn't even hooked up. The last time she even looked at another person would have been in Italy or Paris or something, and she couldn't even remember it. All the world travelling, even with the writing and as much as she'd talked about it, there were large chunks missing from her memory because she hadn't wanted to think about anything. So, here she was, on a stupid blind date at Breadstix, pretty sure she was going to regret the whole thing tomorrow.

Approaching her table she could already see the man who was going to be sharing her time with her and she considered just ... leaving before he saw her too. That would ruin the fun though, so she sat and smiled. "Surprised you took the time off for a date, but I guess it could have been worse."

The fact that Anna had somehow convinced him to do this was… ridiculous. He didn’t date, not since they broke up. He wasn’t into monogamy or really relationships, so going to this on a Friday when he could make way better tips at work was clearly due to his inability to say no to Anna.

Seth was always early for things, including things he didn’t really want to do. He’d already ordered a drink, though it was rather weak compared to the ones he made. He sipped it and sighed as he waited.

When he locked eyes as Hope fucking Clarington started to walk towards him, he groaned, but put on a charming smile, playing the part once she got to the table. “Unless tonight goes incredibly well, I can still probably be at work by 10.” He chuckled, “I’m shocked to see you here at all. A Clarington slumming it with the rest of us.

Hope huffed a laugh of sorts at the cheap shot, a the only kind Seth Evans would be able to afford anyway. "You're almost cute," she replied, still smiling, not yet giving him a signature sneer, "has anyone ever told you that?"

Hope quickly ordered a bottle of wine, not intending to share but she didn't protest when the wait staff brought two glasses. "So," she said, pouring herself a glass, a little fuller than it needed to be, "why are you here?"

“I’ve been called cute with assurance, both drunk and sober, I don’t hear almost very often.” He winked, taking a sip of his water.

He ordered himself some Johnnie Walker on the rocks, leaning back. “Because my best friend wanted to come and I’m here for moral support. I don’t date.” As he got his drink, he took a sip. “Why are you here?”

Hope was thankful when he didn't touch the wine, not that she wouldn't have just eventually ordered more, but it felt more like a game of dominance right now and neither was giving in. It was almost fun, at least for the time being.

She shrugged at his question, not really having much more of an answer than he did, almost made her wonder if the people who did the pairing did this intentionally. "Figured why not. I'm told I don't do enough 'normal' things, so why not try it out before I inevitably regret it tomorrow."

“So you choose to come to a mediocre restaurant, with mediocre food, mediocre people, minus a handful that I’m close with, and drink mediocre wine?” He quirked an eyebrow, taking another sip of his drink, before waving to the bartender to order himself another.

“Well, I’m sorry that I’m well above mediocre and have exceeded your expectations for ‘normalcy’, Ms Clarington. I’m not really capable of being ordinary or boring.”

Hope feigned interest as he spoke, but the more he went on about mediocrity, the harder it was to do. The confidence was interesting though, it seemed pretty real. For how big a lot of the people around Lima acted, there were few that could actually walk the walk after talking the talk, and deep down, Hope was one who could struggle with it lately, she was just a hell of a lot better at pretending than most of the world. Fake it til you make it was essential when someone had been through what she'd survived.

"Technically, I have to be the judge of that, Mr. Evans," she told him back smartly. "You never know when people will lie to you for a simple lay."

“In the 15 years I’ve been getting laid, never once have I lied to get into someone’s bed.” He finished his drink just as the second one arrived. “People who have to lie to get laid aren’t even worth the time. I like genuine people, real people. Not the kind who would tell you want you want to hear so you take off your pants, or will do whatever they’re expecting.”

He leaned back, looking her over - she may be a bitch, but even he had to admit she was hot. He wouldn’t tell her that though. “If people don’t like genuine me, that’s on them. Not me.”

The confidence was real and it was growing more intimidating by the minute, and Hope had no idea how to deal with it. This was someone who came from nothing, realistically had nothing, no doubt less than 2 paycheques from homelessness much like the rest of the world, and he didn't seem to care. It didn't make a lot of sense.

The genuine him, huh? Hope wasn't even sure she knew the genuine her, let alone liked her all that much, so there was no way she was going to let other people try and get there.

"I'm sure all those nights in the backroom at Scandals have been incredibly genuine, I think that's absolutely wonderful."

“I don’t hook up in the back room all that often. I’m usually working, and I don’t do anything that unprofessional while I’m working. I may “just” be a bartender at a small town gay bar, but I take my job seriously because I love it. So, yeah, on nights off I sometimes have fun, but I’m much more into sex outside of my place of work.”

He crossed one leg over the other, “and I remember the name and face of every person I hook up with. Even if I never see them again, I remember them.”

Hope wanted so badly to be bored, but, much to her dismay, Seth was almost interesting. He held himself highly, without having the ego that most of the company she usually kept. She wasn’t sure if she believed he knew the name and face of all his conquests, but she had no room to dispute it, so she didn’t.

“You might remember them,” she shot with a small grin, leaning back, “but I guess the real question is if they remember you.”

Seth chuckled into his drink, taking another sip. His blue-green eyes looking at her. “I have a good memory for things. Some people don’t. We have fun in the moment and that’s honestly the most important part. One night hook ups are meant for that. Just fun. It’s not a relationship.”

He shrugged, ordering himself some spinach dip. “My goal is to make people feel good for a night. Or whatever time of day we’re having fun. That’s all I care about.”

Seth's stare was a little unnerving. Sure, people usually looked, or even stared, but not like this. They were only a few feet apart and she didn't have much to hide behind, except her words, which didn't have too much of an effect on him.

Hope took a long sip of her wine, she didn't have a response and didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

"Well, everyone has a talent, I suppose," she told him finally.

Seth wasn’t used to being around people who didn’t have a comeback for him. Anyone at scandals always did, so seeing Hope, this woman who seemed to be stoic and reserved, yet also had the reputation of the opposite, was a change of pace.

“I have plenty of talents, but I doubt you’re interested enough to hear about them.”

He was baiting her, that much she was sure of. It was pretty damn close to infuriating. Hope wasn’t used to not having the upper hand and she certainly didn’t like it.

“You can try me,” Hope retorted, raising a brow. “But if I start to doze off, that’s on you.”

“Some of them are more of a show than tell, but I can’t do some of those things in public, unless I crawl under the table.” He winked, smirking, “but I’m 6’1, so I don’t really fit.”

He took another sip of his drink. “I play guitar and sing, I mix the best drinks in town. I’m good at sports, and was probably second or third in my class in high school. I also know a lot about cars.”

Hope did her best not to react at how sure he sounded. He knew he had the upper hand here and it showed. It got a little easier when the chat was less suggestive, thank fuck.

“You almost had me interested there,” she confessed, looking at him through her eyelashes, the exact way she knew worked. “Last I checked I didn’t care about cars, I’m smart too, I know how to mix my own drink with my own liquor, and musics just music.”

Seth rolled his eyes, “bully for you.” He ordered himself another drink, looking across the table at her. “So, what do you find interesting, Ms Ivy League Trust fund?”

That shouldn't have been a hard question, and it wasn't for most. But ever since she'd left New York, Hope wasn't really someone who did a lot of of interest rather than need. She needed to get the hell out of there and she needed her family to never know what kind of condition she left in. "Travelling," was her instant answer, "I did a lot of it for a couple years after I left New York. I wrote for a lot of magazines, making sure I always had somewhere else to go."

Hope found him interesting, but there was no way in Hell she was going to tell him that.

Seth smiled, “we do have something in common.” He leaned a bit closer, “I like to travel too. I did a big road trip across the country a few years back. I really want to go to India at some point too. I have a long bucket list of places I want to go before I die.”

Hope knew that she had to take back the control somehow, so she reached for her purse and threw a couple bills on the table, knowing it way more than covered the bill and she stood. She started towards the door before quickly turning around, "you are coming, right?" she asked, as innocently as possible, but anyone would know it was anything but.

He had to admit that this response caught him off-guard. Being paired with Hope had not led him to even consider the possibility of them going home together, and yet, clearly, that was where her mind had gone. He also had never had a woman cover his bill before. He shrugged and stood up, “taking me back to your coven for a sacrifice? I’ll have you know I’m not a virgin.” He smirked.

"I guess you'll have to wait and see," Hope told him as they left the restaurant. "I Uber'd here, busted car and all, so unless you drove, will that work for you?" Hope didn't really want to get into a car with someone she didn't know very well, so if need be, she'd just meet him at her place.

He chuckled, shaking his head, “of course I drove. It’s a pick up truck though, you sure you’re okay with that?” He cocked a brow, eyes washing over her. “I promise you I’m not secretly the modern day Ted Bundy.”

"Absolutely not," Hope told him immediately. "So, you have one of two choices, leave it here for ... who knows how long, I haven't decided, or, take it home and I can pay for an Uber, it's up to you." Hope was sure nothing would go wrong, but, there also was no way in Hell she was stepping foot in his pick-up truck.

He rolled his eyes, “the princess doesn’t like trucks. Shocker.” He sighed, “I guess I can leave her here. I’ll come back whenever and pick her up.” He had a relatively new truck, it was clean, nice. 2017. But he wasn’t exactly shocked she was so against it. “Guess I’m getting in an Uber with a woman who could be a black widow for all I know.”

"You had a choice, you know," Hope replied, doing her best not to sound too annoyed at his annoyance. "I said you could do whatever and you're choosing to ride with me anyway, and it's not too harder to figure out why," she continued giving him a once over.

Pulling out her phone, she ordered and Uber and was given a quick estimate, perks of so many people being preoccupied right now.

“Ride in the Uber with another person, or do it alone and risk being murdered. At least in pairs we’re less likely to be a target.” He shrugged, thinking his logic was pretty sound. “Im used to driving myself, I don’t think I’ve ever used Uber in my life…”

"You're acting like you're in a big city and using the Subway for the first time, don't be such a baby, it's making you far less appealing," Hope sighed, still looking at her phone. The less she gave him, the more power she had, at least in her opinion. They were using her mode of transport, going to her apartment, and she'd paid. Everything was in her favour.

“No, I’m acting like someone who watches a lot of serial killer documentaries with his best friend.” He sighed, leaning against a nearby wall. “Im also almost never a passenger in a car.”

"Well that sounds like you're just setting yourself up for paranoia," Hope shrugged taking a step towards him, looking up at him. "I figure you can get over this little ... issue for one night, right?"

Seth always loved a good height difference, and considering he was 6’2, they were rather common for him. He smiled down at her, “it’s not an issue, but yes, I can get over it for one night, Princess.”

Hope smirked up and bit her lip, staring a moment too long, before sharply turning away to greet the Uber driver that had just arrived. Confirming he was who he was supposed to be, Hope got in without hesitation and waited for Seth expectantly.

In all his life, Seth had never taken a cab or an Uber. In a town like Lima he never needed to, and when he travelled, he’d done it by car. He took a moment before getting in, shooting Anna a text just so someone knew where he was going. The Uber was cleaner than he expected… even had a new car smell.

“Texting your girlfriend?” Hope asked, as Seth sat down and they started on the drive to her place. “Because frankly that doesn’t really matter to me, but if you’re having second thoughts, I’m sure he can let you out if need be.”

Hope knew it wasn’t the case, but Seth was honestly just making it all too easy.

“I don’t have a girlfriend, thank you very much.” He rolled his eyes, “just letting a friend know where I’m going.”

Hope sighed dramatically, enjoying the game of it all now. “Well I guess I really will have to let you leave mostly unharmed then, such a shame.”

“Oh, darlin’, as long as I make it home in one piece,” he leaned in a bit, “hit me with your best shot.”

"I'll keep that in mind," Hope smirked, letting him stay close but being very careful to keep her hands to herself, at least for the new few minutes. Sure, she hadn't entirely expected this when she'd seen who her date was, or even, at all. Hope knew there very much still could be regrets tomorrow, but right now this was good and fun and who was she to push that away when she'd spent the last few nights with nothing similar.

Seth wasn’t one to say no very often. The fact that he’d taken a Friday off from work to do this date thing for Anna was not something he would usually do, but he couldn’t say no to her especially. Plus, even if Hope was a huge bitch, she was hot as fuck, and he was clearly in for a wild night

It wasn't long before the Uber stopped at Hope's apartment. Politely, she thanked the driver and led Sam into the building, past the doorman, and to the elevator. "You're not scared of heights or anything, are you?" She asked, teasing in tone, pressing the button to the 11th, and highest, floor.

Seth rolled his eyes, “no, I’m not scared of heights. I went bungee jumping a few years ago.” He shook his head. It was going to be an interesting night, that’s for sure.

#hopexseth #para

1 note · View note

makeste · 5 years ago

Text

BnHA Chapter 256: Fucking Superb You Funky Little Hero Eggs

Previously on BnHA: Aizawa and Mic’s frankensteined best friend Shirakumo, better known to us as Kurogiri, had his memories briefly restored through the Power of Friendship, and was all “YO Y’ALLS BETTER GO CHECK OUT THOSE HOSPITALS” before his head started steaming like a tea kettle and he randomly fell asleep. Aizawa and Mic were all “!!” and Aizawa was all “(ಡ ﹏ ಡ)” and Mic was all “Aizawa are you crying” and Aizawa was like “NO!!!” and then they left the prison and Nao called HPSC Lady who called Hawks and was all “eck-chay ethay ospitals-hay” because Hawks, as you recall, is still a secret agent and all that. Anyway so Hawks was all “EUREKA!!” in his head which doesn’t really add up but hey, and then the chapter ended with Dr. Ujiko dancing in sadistic glee as he watched Tomura get all mad scienced. It was pretty freaky. I could use some wholesomeness right about now so let’s see if this chapter will deliver.

Today on BnHA: Class 1-A shows off the fresh skills they learned during their assorted internships, such as “determination”, “enhanced search techniques”, and “becoming a literal blob of acid.” The Wonder Trio is a particular highlight, and All Might is all “my little baby off to destroy people :’)” as he watches Deku shred a robot to pieces using Blackwhip. We then cut to Aizawa and Mic, who may or may not be planning some rogue vigilante style investigations of the whole Noumu thing, or maybe they’re just brooding, but either way they’re interrupted by Mirio and Tamaki who come running in to get them to stop Eri’s quirk from going haywire, which, yikes. The chapter then ends with All Might handing Deku a notebook full of DETAILED, CATALOGED INFO ABOUT THE PAST SUCCESSORS AND THE FUCKING SIXQUIRKS. We just have to wait two more weeks to find out what that’s all about. 2020’s got some fucking zip to it so far huh.

so it’s about a quarter past 7 right now and it’ll be a miracle if I can have this recap up by 10pm tonight. surprisingly the wait for this chapter didn’t really bother me, but this Sunday/Monday release schedule is really doing a number on my punctuality. but anyways we’ll figure it out eventually. if memory serves, there’s about a 90% chance that this week’s jump will also be a double issue, so that gives me another extra week to get my shit together lol

(ETA: so that wasn’t too far off actually! I think a three-hour turnaround time isn’t bad for 3000 words lol. and actually it was more like two hours of reading/blogging and one hour of editing/photo cropping. anyway so in all likelihood either Sunday or Monday night releases will become the norm, depending entirely on how busy that particular Sunday is. not quite the same as getting the chapter on Friday and having the whole weekend to ruminate over it but we will adjust!)

anyway, so I’m somehow remarkably unspoiled for this chapter despite it having been out for nearly a week and a half at this point. so that’s something! let’s see what we’ve got here

yaaaay my babies

All Might was offering free cotton candy, yes? I didn’t expect we’d cut right back to this lol, but you sure won’t see me complaining. I want to see what everyone else learned during their internships, and also what with the break and the last couple chapters being Tartarus-focused, it’s been about a month since I last saw my little hero eggs, and of course I missed them I’m only human

omg

did the original dialogue really reference Skynet. Horikoshi truly gives no fucks about copyright. like one or two episodes ago the anime made some copyrighted reference which you could clearly hear in the Japanese but which the English subs hilariously glossed right over. I’m trying to remember what it was now. damn. anyways we millennials can never resist a good pop culture reference, facts

OH MY GOD AOYAMA

THEY’RE EATING THE COTTON CANDY

TOKOYAMI EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020 THUS FAR. LET ME TELL YOU, WE REALLY NEEDED THIS

SHOUTO EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE SECOND BEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020. IT WAS VERY CLOSE

I STALLED FOR TIME SO MUCH AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WTF TO SAY ABOUT AOYAMA’S NEW ATTACK OH MY GOD. JUST. I DON’T KNOW YOU GUYS. THIS BOY IS REALLY OUT HERE SLICING ROBOTS IN HALF WITH HIS BRAND NEW LASER PENIS. THE AMOUNT OF FUCKS THAT HORIKOSHI GIVES IS IN THE NEGATIVES I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY

OH ARE YOU STILL GOING

is... what’s... ldkfj okay nothing to see here guys just the naked invisible chick getting all friendly with Aoyama’s beam boner. just manhandling his sparkle shaft. there are children reading this manga. I mean, they’re already mentally scarred from all the dead dogs and child quirk wine and whatnot, but still at what point do we put our goddamn foot down

anyway so somehow she’s redirecting his laser beam?? I guess with her light refracting quirk skills?? great job Hagakure with your help Aoyama can finally shoot lasers at stuff that’s behind him. you’ve mastered the power of making it so that he doesn’t have to turn around great job truly an internship well spent

“now I can yank light and warp it!” you go girl now you can whip that thing around like it’s a fucking fire hose I guess

YOOOOO MINA!!

THIS GIRL LITERALLY COATED HERSELF IN ACID AND DID A FUCKING BARREL ROLL AHHHHHHHHH. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT, NO OFFENSE TO CAPTAIN DISCO DONG AND COMMODORE “I CAN DO EVERYTHING A MIRROR CAN DO” BUT THERE ARE UPGRADES AND THERE ARE UPGRADES, AND LET’S FACE IT, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL HERE

AHAHAHA I LOVE ITTTTT

is it too late for Mina to actually change her name to Acidman. what is she calling herself now again?? Pinky?? come on Mina strike some fear into the hearts of your enemies

and now All Might and the others are applauding. I don’t see Shouto’s cotton candy anymore. boy fucking inhaled that shit

oh wow, they interned under Yoroi Musha? if memory serves me, and I’m honestly not going to bother to check right now, isn’t that the samurai dude who somehow beat Ryuukyuu in the billboard charts? not that I’m still salty about that, oh wait I absolutely am but anyways

OH MY

IS THAT SOME KIRIMINA CONTENT UP IN MY PANELS. hot damn that is some cute fucking shit. Mina better not get any undue hate for this. everyone please remain calm this cute interaction does not threaten your ship in any way (unless you want it to in which case have at!!) and we can all have fun if we just play nice you guys

lmao All Might

“WE’RE ALREADY ON PAGE FOUR AND THERE ARE TWENTY OF YOU, WE DON’T HAVE ALL FUCKING DAY CHILDREN”

so Satou and Ojiro learned how to punch harder and stuff. again, it’s fine, we can’t all be Acid Men. but meanwhile they interned with some lion guy named Shishido whom I INSTANTLY LOVE so that’s badass. only one character away from Shishida though, but that’s Horikoshi for you

OH MY GOD

BLAH BLAH YES ENHANCED SEARCH TECHNIQUES ZZZZZ BUT FUCKING LOOK THOUGH AT THE FLASHBACK OF HIM YEETING THEM, YESSSSSS. THE OLD WAYS HAVE NOT YET BEEN FORGOTTEN, GANG ORCA YOU ARE THE HERO WE DESERVE

meanwhile Sero, Kami, and Mineta learned how to literally kill people with their quirks flkdjsflk

(ETA: btw I really love that Mt. Lady’s internship emphasized teamwork. now there’s someone who’s come a really long way her own self. anyway I stan and she had better join the other two in the the top 10 real soon. come on BnHA society get with it.)

damn Mt. Lady what the fuck. “if you guys work together you can suffocate and electrocute villains to death with ease!” the government’s plan really is working huh; these children have become bloodthirsty, ruthless killers in a shockingly short period of time

anyways so Iida as we all recall learned how to be more footloose and fancy free, and meanwhile Kouda learned “smooth communication” from Wash, the literal washing machine man whom I also don’t still harbor a grudge against for inexplicably beating my dragon queen in the hero polls, and once again that is a lie because fuck you Wash! you’re adorable but fuck you!!

man this is taking forever why are there so many kids in this class. for anyone wondering why Horikoshi doesn’t focus on class 1-A as a whole more often and leaves them as supporting characters, this right here is why. I love these children to death but we would still be stuck in the basement arc. oh my god I just shuddered

Tokoyami mastered “improvement on all fronts” because I guess he kind of peaked at flying when it came to new moves huh. that’s fine for now

and Kiri mastered “making baddies lose the will to fight real quick” which sounds like some bullshit you’d write while desperately trying to pad your hero resume, except that it’s accompanied by this convincing panel of him chomping a steel bar in two or some shit which YIKES

can confirm, if some demonic rock man came trotting up to me and snapped off some railing from some stairs and fucking snapped it like a twig with his GIANT FOSSILIZED DINOSAUR TEETH, I’d lose my will to fight pretty quickly too

and Ochako and Tsuyu learned “determination” smdh. Horikoshi did you fucking fall asleep towards the end of this segment or what

WHO IS MAJESTIC OMG

excuse me did she just create a bunch of fucking dynamites. is that what those are. is my girl encroaching on my young son’s turf. because if she is, ENCROACH, MOMO, ENCROACH! FEEL FREE TO FUCKING IMPINGE, EVEN!! god, and I know I was bitching just a moment ago about these “lessons” becoming increasingly vague and intangible and motivational poster-y, but I read Momo and “predicting and acting efficiently”, and my thoughts immediately ran to Nighteye and Mirio’s fighting styles, and I was like “YESSSSSSSSS” because, I mean. YES, though

meanwhile Kacchan has learned...

this fucking -- I swear -- YOU LEARNED WHAT YOUR FUCKING HERO NAME IS GOING TO BE YOU TROLLING PIECE OF SHIT. oh my god. Katsuki I swear to god I will take your internet privileges. NO SRIRACHA FOR A WEEK UNLESS YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS

oh for fuck’s sakes

don’t mind him he learned boom with five b’s and three oo’s what did you all do this week. and somehow Todoroki learned how to be even more fabulous

so All Might’s looking on in pride and giving Endeavor some mental props, and waiting for Deku to go do his thing too

sdfkj he’s thinking about the day he gave Deku THE HAIR and that “[it] feels like ancient history now.” DOESN’T IT THOUGH?

OH MY FEELS

��you don’t look back at me anymore... and you don’t need to.” oh Aizawa’s dry eye has spread to me now huh. must be those January allergies. and that’s some nice bloop there kid. great jorb

someone tell All Might he’s not allowed to look on at Deku with this much fatherly love without giving me at least a week’s notice in advance

sigh. now you’ve done it you two I’m going to become a big cat blob of feels right here and it’s all on you. you did this

oh my god a whole big panel of reactions from the other kids and I’m ( ˊᵕˋ )

lol Kacchan can’t agree with anything even if it’s a compliment. and lmao, who the fuck was that who was all “TODOROKI FINALLY YOU’RE A FAST FUCKING HIMBO HUH!” like they really went and put that “finally” in there, like they were so fucking tired of Todoroki Shouto and his LANGUID FUCKING PACE all the fucking time, GOD, FINALLY SOME SPEED BOY WE WERE DYING OUT HERE

Mineta being happy for Deku also warms my heart, ngl. we’ve gone almost an entire chapter with Mineta not doing anything even remotely perverted, can it be, has Horikoshi finally chilled the fuck out. or did I just jinx it we shall see

also love how Deku is just reduced to an inkblot here and it still is him beyond any shadow of a doubt. and poor Sero, you are also being impinged on huh

lmao Mineta’s just socking Deku in the solar plexus out of comradery and Deku’s fucking vomiting on reflex and not even paying the slightest attention wtf

I love this panel there I said it

so he’s going over and thanking Ochako for “that time” and says he’s using Blackwhip a lot better now. I assume he’s referring to when he first unlocked it and went hog wild and she was all “smh” and went and hugged him to put an end to that nonsense

oh, right!!!!

I forgot about those!! looool Horikoshi’s 2020 resolution is to make everyone Spider-Man now huh. hey everyone guess what I LOVE THIS

oh my god this wholesomeness

I fucking can’t?? yo I’m seriously living for this? I don’t get why some people think Deku inhibits Ochako’s character growth tbh. or that her story is becoming all about him. if it is, then it’s in the same way that Bakugou’s is. Deku keeps inspiring her to be better, ain’t nothing wrong with that. yes she has the crush, and she’s honest with herself and in tune with her emotions enough to be aware of it and to acknowledge it, but she refuses to be distracted by it. I actually really like that, because it shows that romantic feelings can actually exist and not be the central focus of a character’s story or their development. and I think the fear is that it somehow will become the focus, but so far I haven’t seen that happening, so it seems unwarranted to me

anyway

shit’s cute

oh no Mineta’s doing something weird I fucking did jinx it I’m sorry guys. it’s a fucking fistbump dude relax

so All Might seems to be dismissing them now, and he’s saying something about how he reordered (?? rescheduled, maybe??) class so that Aizawa can watch later. that’s nice. he’ll need something to cheer him up, and if Acidman can’t do the trick I don’t know what can

and now we’re cutting back to the dorms!! dorm shenanigans yessssss

oh no shit wait

these are not playful dorm shenanigans these are depressed Miczawa shenanigans to bring me down. nnnn

but Aizawa fucking knows something is up now, shit. that’s right son your babies are in danger

KLJKLGLKSH

okay (1) HOW HOT IS AIZAWA THOUGH HOW DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

and (2) is “have a karaoke contest” code for “fuck shit up” or what. son of a bitch, having these two so personally invested in the Noumu arc now is such an unexpected and wonderful gift

MIRIO NO

(ETA: but you all know Aizawa was about to say “I’d go and fuck shit up” though.)

I LOVE YOU BOTH BUT THEY WERE HAVING A SEXY ANGSTING MOMENT, MIRIO CAN YOU NOT READ THE ROOM!! DO YOU NOT SEE THEM BEING ALL ANGSTY AND DARKLY CONTEMPLATIVE!! YOU TWO OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW WHEN LOVERS ARE BONDING OVER THEIR ANGST WHICH ONLY THE TWO OF THEM UNDERSTAND! FUCKING GODDAMN

NO!!!!!

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU LAY ONE FINGER ON HER PRECIOUS HEAD

NOOOO MY SWEET BABY GIRL

oh my fuck that sweater is the cutest fucking thing and this girl has had no shortage of cute outfits let me tell you. BUT ANYWAY SHE’S SCARED AND CRYING NOOOO. holy shit her horn is fucking huge now I don’t feel comfortable with this at all, and Nejire is Best Mom for not giving a single fuck and holding and comforting her regardless of the risk, I love her so much

OH THANK GOD

PALPABLE RELIEF. boys I’m sorry it was wrong of me to yell, you did the right thing interrupting their sexy brooding

BREAK ROOM AHHHHH THE SCOOBY SQUAD LIVES AGAINNNN

it means you constantly amaze him!! you have so much potential he doesn’t even know what the limit might possibly be! don’t act like you don’t love it. or stop being so suspicious and trying to look for the hidden meaning and just accept the praise for what it is. you did good. now ask him if he’s heard any news about Best Jeanist :/

that’s right, he was researching and making faces a while back, are we finally gonna find out what all that was about??

DSLFKAJSLDKFH

HE MADE A NOTEBOOK FOR HIM AHHHHHHHH HE KNOWS WHAT HE LIKES THIS IS AMAZING

DOES HIM GIVING HIM THE INFO IN NOTEBOOK FORM MEAN IT’S UP TO DEKU WHETHER OR NOT HE WANTS TO SHARE THIS INFO WITH KACCHAN. HMMM. OBVIOUSLY HE WILL, BUT THAT’S A REAL POWER MOVE THOUGH, DAMN

“PAST SUCCESSORS / QUIRKS” EVERYONE, THIS BOOK CONTAINS THE SECRETS OF THE SIXQUIRKS. AND THE PREVIOUS OFA AVATARS. THAT’S FINE I’M JUST GONNA. ...I’LL BE FINE. FOR TWO WEEKS. FUCK

shit. well I know it was coming, that’s another reason why I didn’t feel particularly rushed to read this chapter lol. I kinda wish I’d had the foresight to save the Korean scanlation though, just to compare. ah well it’s probably still lying around somewhere

and lol and here’s the bonus page, and this one I did see floating around tumblr haha

I’m not sure how the three smartest kids in class are all present and yet not one of them had the foresight to consider that maybe, just maybe, this could be a bad idea. let’s let the kid with the combustible sweat handle the mochi I’m sure it’ll be -- [everyone immediately dies]. anyway so that’s some good friendly advice from Horikoshi there. happy new year friends!

#bnha 256 #midoriya izuku #ashido mina #uraraka ochako #aizawa shouta #present mic #all might #aoyama yuuga #eri (bnha)#bakugou katsuki #class 1-a #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #oh my god I am so tired #I will maybe edit some additional tags later lol #for now I'm gonna go eat dinner

175 notes · View notes

jj-ktae · 5 years ago

Text

Millennials - Part 7 -

Title: Millennials Genre: Fluff, romance Pairing: Kim Yugyeom x You Summary: Life is made of stages and each of them is a hard push on the back, forcing you to forge ahead. You’re facing your biggest crisis, and then there’s him, who lives from day to day. Of course he does, he is just a kid. Words: 3964 Warning: Small age difference. Yugyeom x Noona Reader.

- Teaser - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 -

- Part 7 -

Yugyeom doesn’t like how down he feels right now. He has been sulking for the whole night even since he came back home and doesn’t seem to know how to deal with it. He had a horrible evening and ran away from his friends, no able to keep his cool anymore.

He barely heard them calling him, didn’t even hear his phone ringing and most certainly couldn’t notice how shaky he was.  It’s a new feeling.

He feels played with. Like someone actually lied to him and he was too stupid to believe them. He knows he is gullible, he knows he trusts too easily, but he cannot deal with the pain of being hurt by someone who is so dear to him.

Out of everyone, he thought you wouldn’t be able to do that.

And somehow he can’t believe it. He can’t believe you would meet with another guy behind his back. Yugyeom doesn’t think he is jealous and he isn’t. If the guy is just a friend, then it’s fine by him.

This is how he ends up feeling miserable.

Yugyeom doesn’t know how to address the issue. Jinyoung tells him to meet with you and ask for justifications but he knows himself too much to do that. He isn’t the type to get mad and say big words and he will probably chicken out even though he did nothing wrong.

His friends always make fun of him for avoiding conflicts.

Instead, he avoids you at all cost. He doesn’t answer your texts and ignores the phone calls. The device doesn’t show your name often though and Yugyeom feels even more depressed.

It’s like you don’t care that he is ignoring you.

Yugyeom even ditches work, coming up with a shitty excuse about exams who aren’t going to happen. Speaking of which, he fails big time while trying to come up with a choreography and end up being yelled at by one of his senior for being so uninspired.

Great. Life is great.

At the same time, he wants to know what you’re doing. Was that guy someone important? Are you enjoying life with that not so handsome jerk? No, he should stop caring. You played with him and he will move on.

But he always ends up groaning, his motive vanishing like dust when he thinks about how deep his feelings are.

He hates himself.

You don’t know how you end up without any news from Yugyeom. The latter seems to be rather busy because he doesn’t even answer your texts. Maybe you shouldn’t push it. Maybe Yugyeom hates clingy girls.

Still, you’re getting curious. Maybe he is sick? What if he hurt himself while dancing?

You had planned for a date at your place. You wanted to get to know him better and do something chill where you could have exchanged a bit more.

At least that’s what Naya’s co-worker had told you to do.

He had been full of advices and very understanding of your inner conflict, he who is also dating a younger person. It made you feel better to know that your feelings were natural.

“Oh wait, you’ve been to the place where he practices, right? Go there!” Naya yells over the phone while you’re cooking, one night. “It’s unusual, though. Did you do something wrong?” She is now scolding, her voice turning higher all of a sudden.

You sigh, stopping midway in your vegetable cutting session. “I didn’t do anything. I haven’t seen him in ages.”

“This is the problem. You’ve just started a relationship and it feels like you’re still single. Why are you acting like you don’t like your boyfriend?”

Your head goes down in frustration and you’re glad your friend isn’t next to you, right now. “I do like him! We’ve talked about this already. I agreed to meet with your co-worker because you said he’d help me see things differently and he did but please, give me some time. He isn’t even answering my calls right now.”

It’s annoying. How do you end up being the horrible one when you clearly did nothing? Of course Yugyeom doesn’t deserve this, but you warned him, you told him and even Naya that you were not good enough for a relationship but still, they forced this.

“I told you he didn’t deserve to be put in such misery. Stop putting the blame on me.”

Naya chuckles, her voice dying before she continues. “You’re taking the easy way out. Just fucking try harder; the kid will agree to everything you say, he is freaking in love with you! You can’t offer only this and claim you can’t do better. I think you don’t care about his age. You’re just frightened because he is serious and forcing you to become someone better.”

Damn her and her tendency to read psychological magazines.

“Why are we even talking about this? He probably is too busy and you’re here telling me it’s MY FAULT he isn’t answering my calls.” That girl must be crazy.

“Remember what we told you. That boy is younger but that doesn’t mean his feelings are invalid. Just like my colleague’s girlfriend, he will end up being very hurt if you don’t at least reassure him. You’re not the only one doubting so even though it might have nothing to do with you, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to find out what’s happening. I know you want to so stop being so damn stubborn.” She cuts the line before you can object and it tears a sigh out of your mouth.

Suddenly you’re not hungry anymore.

The days after that go slowly. You send another message and it stays unanswered. You try calling but it’s another failure. Maybe Naya is right, again. There’s something wrong with Yugyeom. It keeps you up even, thinking about what could have hurt him. There could be many reasons, but nothing comes to you. So, against better judgement, you follow your friend’s advice and aim for the place Yugyeom took you to when he needed to practice.

The walk there is endless and making you feel anxious. You quickly understand it’s the probability of a mad Yugyeom that puts you on a trans. What will you do if he refuses to talk to you and breaks up? You don’t even know if he will be there and you’re already freaking out. Great.

Part of you hopes he is just busy and will hug you and blush like he oh so typically does. Then there’s excitement. Excitement because you missed him, as hard as it is to believe.

So as you open the building’s door, you conclude you really need to feel him against you because it’s been too long.

There are many people there. All of them are young boys, sweaty from head to toe and moving around. You walk past bodies, all of them intimidating as they stare at you.

You peek behind the door, eyes meeting with guys dancing in sync.

Yugyeom is in the front, concentrated yet looking bothered as he seems to be struggling.

“Are you looking for someone?”

You jump when you hear the voice right next to your ear. Your head turns, eyes falling on another guy who tries to peek in hopes to get which one of the boys you’re coming for.

“I’m Yugyeom’s-” wait, how do you introduce yourself? You’re not sure he even spoke about you to anyone. What if he is too embarrassed to talk about his talentless girlfriend? What if you’re not even his girlfriend anymore?

The guy quickly catches up. “Yugyeom’s girlfriend? Please save us all, he’s been a pain in the ass recently. I was about to beat him up for always using the main room to practice. Just take him out of here.”

You blink at him, not getting what the guy means but understanding Yugyeom has been going through hard times.

“Do you know if it’s going to take long?” Your eyes go back to the room where Yugyeom is still busy dancing, his face blank.

The guy smirks, relief painting his tiny face. “He is done-” the guy opens the door before you can protest. “yah, Yugyeom-ah, get out of here, someone is asking for you.”

You freeze behind the guy, head barely tilted to meet Yugyeom’s face, both shocked and confused.

“Hyung, I’m still-” He tries, his voice tiny because everyone is whistling at the revelation of his love-life.

“You’re done. I swear if you don’t leave right now-” He turns around and stops before he starts cursing when he sees your face. “He will be out in a minute. You can wait in the main hall.” His fake smile transforms into an annoyed face when he goes inside the room and he starts chasing the poor Yugyeom.

You walk back and decide to wait. Still as stressed as earlier.

Yugyeom is surprisingly quick you notice, because his sweaty body appears next to you before you can gather your thoughts.

“What are you doing here?” It’s the first time he speaks to you that way. No greetings, no physical contact.

“You haven’t been answering my calls or texts….” You try, conscious enough to preserve the distance between you and him.

Yugyeom nods, aware of that fact yet not explaining anything. It stays that way, both of you ignoring the loud music signalling more rehearsals are probably happening.

After a while, he licks his lips, eyes meeting yours uncertainly. “I don’t understand you.”

“What do you mean?” You subtly shiver, not liking Yugyeom’s tone at all because he sounds so depressed and it visibly hurts you more than you think it would.

“When I say I’m in love with you I al serious. I know you don’t take me seriously, but I wish you wouldn’t play with me. If you don’t want to be with me just say it.” He is calm, scary yet doesn’t even try to act mad.

He looks so damn dejected.

“I don’t get it…” You’re quite lost. You don’t remember saying or doing anything that would make him think you’re playing with him but apparently, you fucked up.

“You don’t have to go as far as lie to me so you can meet with another boy, noona. I’m old enough to understand you don’t feel the same way about me.” Yugyeom adds, eyes now looking at the ground because damn it, it hurts so much to say it so bluntly.

On the other side, you’re completely lost. Meet with another guy…? When did you ever-

Shit. Naya’s colleague. How did he even see you? Naya was there, too…

…But she left for a good thirty minutes for a phone call. Yugyeom probably saw you and thought you were cheating on him.

That explains a lot.

“You were in that bar?” Your mind can only say this much, your brain trying to come up with an explanation before Yugyeom thinks you’re cheating on him for real. “It’s not what you think it is, he is-”

Yugyeom shakes his head. “It’s fine. I understand. I knew it was going too well. I’m not mad at you, noona. I just wish you’d let me know before I get too attached.”

“No, for real, Gyeomie. It’s really not that big of a deal. I was out with Naya and her colleague. He is dating someone younger than him and Naya thought it’d be good if he could share his experience. You probably saw me right when Naya left because her parents called but I wasn’t on a date.” You justify yourself in a hurry, not even mad that he wouldn’t trust you but rather eager to let him know you care about him.

Yugyeom opens his mouth and closes it, disturbed and trying to assimilate your words.

You grab the chance to explain further. “I didn’t tell you because I knew I’d be getting pretty personal and I needed advices. If I told you I was meeting with friends you would have tagged along – and I have nothing against that- but I just- ah, this is messy. I’m sorry, Gyeomie.”

The latter looks up, doing his best not to be bothered by the way you’re calling him. “Advices?” he tries, his voice thicker with confidence as he feels a weight being lifted from his chest.

You nod, slowly. “Because of the way I treat you. I keep on acting like a lunatic bitch and I just, well, I guess I need to chill.”

“Did it work?” Yugyeom speaks fast, surprising you again.

“The advices? Yeah, kinda. There are still things I need to sort but it has to do with me more than you. I hope you believe me because I’d never be able to do this to you. Never.” Yugyeom gives you too much credit. No one will ever be interested in you.

“I believe you, noona.”

You smile at the nickname.

He waits, seems to be thinking, plays with his fingers, before stopping. “Still, I wish you had told me. I wish I was more involved in your life. Not in a way that would make you feel suffocated but…like a real boyfriend.”

You suppress a shiver, the word boyfriend stimulating your heart and penetrating warmth into your stomach.

“I’m sorry I hurt you again. I’ll do my best not to make you feel left out.” You admit, face turning into a pout and hoping he’d sense how honest you’re being.

He shrugs, mumbling about how you didn’t do it on purpose and straightens his back. He is waiting for you to continue.

“If you’re free tonight, we can watch a movie and order something to eat at my place. I mean, if you’re too exhausted that’s fine, too.” You propose, hopeful to the point of turning into a lost puppy unknowingly.

Yugyeom’s heart is about to burst at how soft you are.

“I’m always free for you, noona.”

On the way to your flat, you’re both silent. Yugyeom feels like dying because you’re the one who grabbed his hand when he got out earlier, freshly showered. You don’t seem bothered by it either and even your body is close to his. You’re relaxed, like you’re glad he is back in your life and Yugyeom feels like you finally understood his worries.

“What type of movie do you like the most?” You break the silence naturally, feeling shy yet energised by how good things turned out.

You’ll never admit how ecstatic you feel.

“I like lots of genres. Horror is fun, romance is cute, action is entertaining…how about you?”

“I watch horror movies then curse at how stupid I am because I’m all alone at home.” You laugh softly, remembering how you didn’t sleep the last time you watched that Chainsaw Massacre shit.

Yugyeom laughs loudly, finding you horribly cute for finally admitting your weakness and leaving some room for him to act like a boyfriend would.

“Next time, call me so I can protect you, noona.”

His voice dies with embarrassment and cheeks turn burning hot as he comes up with the cheesiest line ever but it doesn’t matter.  You’re as blushing as he is so it’s definitely worth it.

Once you both arrive, you quickly set up for a comedy. Both of you are too tired to focus on a deep or action scenario and hell no you don’t want to watch something scary.

Also, the mood sure is calling for something simple as you watch Yugyeom, wrapped in your fluffy blanket and waiting for you to bring the flyers so you can pick something to eat.

You let him pick the food while you look for something to watch and it’s peaceful, silent and cosy. You feel warmth as he shares a bit of the blanket with mischievous eyes and shows you the pizza he’d like to eat.  You don’t feel like eating pizza but you agree, smiling sweetly at how shiny his eyes are.

If Yugyeom wants you to eat dead crickets even, so be it.

You discover his quiet side. He is unmoving, almost scared to even brush against your body in a moment of overconfidence. You let him struggle, quietly amused when his face turns red during a heated scene.

The delivery boy saves you both as you hurry to open the door, hushing a protesting Yugyeom who desperately wants to pay again.

“It’s fine, Gyeomie. There,” You put his pizza on your little wooden table and open your own on your lap, “I can pay from time to time.”

You see him shake his head but soon enough his face transforms into pure bliss as he opens the pizza box.

“Thanks for the meal.” Is the last thing you hear before he starts stuffing his face with food, mumbling about how he needed food after so much dancing.

You finish before he does, feeling full and giving up after a few slices. You forget about the movie and set your eyes on his concentrated face as he eats though, orbs never leaving the screen and mouth greasy.

You wait until he is finished, suppressing a chuckle as you see the way his face becomes a mess of tomato sauce and cheese.

Yugyeom doesn’t notice how fondly you stare at his face. He even almost forgets about the situation because how come this comedy is so sad? Also, the puppy in it is so cute.

He ends up eating the whole pizza, his stomach too full and he finally turns around to thank you again.

But you’re looking at him and he suddenly feels so small.

“Are you okay?” He speaks, obviously surprised by your behaviour but mostly confused.

You chose not to answer, your hand going to his mouth to wipe the food off his face with a napkin. “You’re so clumsy when you eat.”

He freezes. Yugyeom doesn’t know what happens but he feels like throwing up. His insides churn deliciously and his heart starts hammering into his chest. He lives for your attention and can’t express how blessed he feels as you quietly wipe his dirty mouth, whispering about starving kids and stained clothes. Yugyeom lets you do your thing, his hand gripping the soft fabric of the blanket. His whole body is on alert, the proximity enough to make him crave for your lips.

Unconsciously he ends up staring at them, not missing how subtly your tongue peeks out to moist the reddish flesh. Your eyes find his when you’re done, the napkin now stained with what used to paint his beautiful face.

“All clean...” You trail off, hand slowly aiming for your lap but body paralysed by his radiant warmth. You go from his mouth to his eyes, deep and expectant.

You don’t want to escape. As much as you’d naturally let some distance under any other circumstances, you barely move. You stare back, even.

This is when you read it. The uncertainty in Yugyeom’s eyes. He looks like he is dying to get more proximity but is retraining his own body. It’s noticeable, how scared he looks. he experienced disappointment way too much already.

“Noona...” He whispers, eyelids fluttering close. He waits, inhales and relaxes. “Will you let me kiss you...?” His question takes you off-guard. You didn’t expect him to ask so bluntly, considering he doesn’t really need to ask but still, your heart speeds up uncontrollably in front of a needy Yugyeom. His hand reaches for your face to cup your cheek in silence, his lips itchy and face turning scarlet.

“Of course, Gyeomie.”

The answer sends him over the moon and back in a matter of seconds, his body moving before he can process what you just said. In his head it’s a whirlpool of feelings mixed with eagerness as his lips find yours.

You don’t try to move. You don’t even need to, for Yugyeom is making all the work fast, his nerves sending jolts of electricity inside his muscles. You end up pushed against his chest, legs parting until you’re straddling his broad body on your own couch.

He doesn’t let you part from him, his hands pushing you more and more against him as silence surrounds you. Only short sighs seem to ring into your ears, signalling you how much he enjoys the moment.

You answer every kiss, your own hands sliding skilfully into his hair to mess the brown locks playfully. Yugyeom feels your nails against his scalp and cannot help but shudder, his whole existence vanishing into a thousand stars and painting the sky - or at least this is how he feels right now.

He doesn’t know how to deal with the intimacy, doesn’t even believe it’s happening. You’re kissing him back. You’re sitting on is lap. You’re whining whenever he sucks on your lip.

Yugyeom freezes when he comes back on earth, chest against chest and slightly parts before he becomes too clingy.

“I..I..” He starts, glancing around the dim room and finding nothing to hide his eyes from yours. You tilt your head, lips red and swollen your eyes sparkling and not the least bothered by the situation.

You aren’t going to back off and it’s freaking him out.

“Are you okay...?” You whisper, air hurrying out of you as an attempt to hide the growing fear inside your chest.

What if Yugyeom regrets going this far? Of course he would, you can’t possibly think he’d have any type of desire toward such a freaking bitch who hurts him on a regular basis, it’s ridicu-

“I don’t know if...I really want you, noona. I want you and I don’t know if you want me. I want you to want me, too.” He chooses this moment to glance at you with timid eyes, face hot and biting his lips and you get it. You freaking understand.

You love Kim Yugyeom so damn much.

So naturally you don’t keep your mouth shut. This whole thing is too important for the both of you to ruin everything with clumsiness and there’s nothing you could say that would make the situation better than it actually is. You pick to keep quiet, leaning to offer more kisses, embarrassed yet feeling finally lucky for not making anyone run away from you.

And it’s quite the opposite if you ask Yugyeom. His arms hurriedly collect you again as you offer your mouth, body now relaxed and without any intention of rejecting him. He sticks to you even more, not the least annoyed by his growing desire and unfazed by how it shows dangerously against you.

You feel it and you take it surprisingly well. It doesn’t matter how long it has been, it doesn’t matter how rusty you feel, it’s doesn’t freaking matter if you don’t know what to do with yourself.

So you let go, you turn off your brain and focus on your fingertips, brushing the soft and tender skin of Yugyeom’s neck and earning a needy grunt.

It’s the best sound ever.

And indeed, Yugyeom does the same, focusing on instinct as he is now done testing waters. He touches back, body against the couch and legs lazily parted. He even hears you chuckle when his phone starts vibrating in his pocket and he almost tears it off his jeans to throw it in the living room.

You become brave even when Yugyeom start kissing your neck. He almost yelps when he feels your hands on his stomach and retaliates quickly, teeth softly nipping the skin and making you shudder.

You whisper sweetly and this is how he knows he will never have enough of you calling his name.

“I love you so freaking much, noona...”

It’s the last thing you hear before getting lost into his surprisingly skilled being.

146 notes · View notes