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onewmin · 1 year ago

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the perfume on the shelf. pt. 11 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, mentions of verbal and physical abuse, descriptions of a toxic relationship, mentions of s*icidal thoughts, profanity, descritpion of a fire, the reader loves her cat very much, another day of the reader and Chan being annoying (the latter especially), jealousy, the reader is going through major changes (good for her), another bunch of Taylor Swift references, the reader has yet another traumatic experience; typos

In the parts with the cat it's very much self-inserted. Shout out to my cat and all other kitties and doggies <3

'Dal' stands for 'moon' :)

Word count: 5411

Author’s note: welp, there's a lot to read lol. Idk why this whole work lacks happy moments so much, I'm trying my best to make it more positive, but in the end... We get this lol. Still, hope you enjoy another part! I'll try posting part 12 in a couple of weeks, but, as my summer vacation is over, I'll have a lot of work to do, so I cannot promise you an exact date. Again, thank you fro reading and supporting 'the perfume on the shelf' and enjoy the ride! (put ya seatbelts on)

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 10 | Part 12

Another day to cry in the bathroom of your therapist’s office.

Wiping your red cheeks, you took a deep breath in, trying to calm this sudden outburst of pain down. Talking about your unsuccessful attempt to go back together with Chan resurfaced in something deep, something that has affected you too much to even be able to handle it on your own. Your fear of rejection has finally become real - and instead of feeling calm after so many years of being scared of it, you found yourself utterly broken.

As long as you could remember yourself, this fear of being rejected has pressured you into staying out of the picture, of never saying what you truly feel. You were shaking at the thought of confessing to Yugyeom, when you were a teenager; your breath was hitched in your throat when you decided to join that writing club at university; the idea of asking anybody out made you sick to your stomach. And finally, all the mess with Chan was partially launched by your inability to ask direct questions, to come clean eventually. However, your initial choice was to live a lie, to let yourself have dust thrown into your eyes, to rather have smoke and mirrors than an honest relationship. What does this say about you?

“I don’t know”, you muttered, looking at the reflection in the mirror. “I don’t know”, you repeated, sniffing and exhaling once again. When you were nineteen, everything seemed so easy. When you were nineteen, you seemed to know everything.

“What would nineteen-year old you say about this whole situation?” Your therapist’s question was left unanswered, rather as introspection for the next two weeks. What would she say, really? That’s a walk in the park for her.

“Dump his ass”, the advice you used to give all of your girlfriends popped up in your head. “Find a new hobby, work more, go out more - do anything to forget him. He’s not worth your tears and time”. Easier said than done.

You sighed once again, before collecting your lip gloss back into your purse. It’s time to go home and prepare for going out; even though you try following your own advice, the thought of Chan is a lingering memory, a signature left right on your forever restless brain.

Running up the stairs on your subway station, you checked your messages to find Yugyeom and Eunjoo discussing art in the chat. Two weeks ago, after the airport incident, when Yugyeom was dropping you off at your apartment complex (the conversation with your parents about your early departure from the countryside was guided by Gyeom perfectly), Eunjoo caught the sight of the two of you while she was waiting for her best friend on the bench. For some reason she decided it would be a great idea to start going on ‘double dates’ - although, you could barely call them dates at all. She was unsure about her relationship with Minho, so she needed you to check up on him. You didn’t want to be the third wheel, so… So she invited Yugyeom. And now the four of you had a group chat. Was it a nightmare? Absolutely. You found out what nerds Gyeom and Eunjoo were; discussing everything - even rocket science, are you kidding me? - while you and Minho intervened in their intellectual conversations with memes and ridiculous videos to watch. For instance, when you sent a Tarot reading video, just for shits and giggles, just to send a follow up message, “This woman said I’m gonna have a billionaire husband in a couple of months” - only to get bashed by two absolute smartasses for your silly little hobby, as they threw in their pieces of mind on how Tarot is a scam, and it doesn’t work, and people like that woman are a fraud - et cetera, et cetera, blah-blah-blah. Minho, on the other hand, was pretty supportive (and a pain in the ass for Eunjoo and Yugyeom) when he sent in ten more videos of that same creator, chiming in with his comments about toxicity. Yeah, this chat was a shit show; however, it was bringing you too much joy to hate it.

In your apartment your cat greeted you with irritated meows and sweet purrs when you took her in your arms as if she was a baby. “Mama’s sorry, Gaeul”, you said, kissing her in between ears, “but I promise I’ll be back sooner than later. Just a couple of hours, okay?” She started gently biting your hand as you tried to scratch her tummy. “And you get to be the boss of the house. Not just for a few hours”, you kissed her nose and she put her paw on your cheek, “but forever, Gaeul”. She jumped from your arms as soon as you heard a loud stomp and a screeching curse - ugh, your neighbours were fighting again. How could a family that looks picture perfect hate each other so much? Well, you knew the answer to the question, but still, it never failed to arise every time you heard these two fight.

“You’re a piece of shit, Hajoon!” You sighed as you heard the man’s voice. “A piece of shit wife and mother!” This was the unfortunate reality-TV-turned-real-life program you had to listen to; the walls were rather thin not to hear them constantly fight over stupidest things in front of their little girls. When you saw the two of them ride their bikes and laugh, you always wondered, how they managed not to lose their innocence yet - with parents like theirs, who trapped themselves in a toxic marriage, the innocence of a child being saved was a miracle.

The drama continued as the woman cried out harsher curses, accusing her husband of cheating. Is that the life that awaits everyone in a marriage? Is that the life you’re going to have too? That’s what your parents have; constant fights, verbal abuse, toxic apologies with flowers and luxury candy, and no words uttered. No resolution of those conflicts, no rethinking of the life choices they’d made to get to this point of no return. Nothing. And this family, a family so similar to yours, was the same. Only the girls were lucky to have each other and not to be alone. However, calling the kids ‘lucky’ for lulling each other when their parents scream all types of insults, calling the children they created with ‘so much love and affection’, as the mother posted on her stories, ‘mistakes’ when they were in another room - calling them ‘lucky’ was a direct insult.

Accompanied by curses coming from a wall away from your living room, Gaeul was circling around you the whole time you were collecting your things. When you looked at the wrist watch, it was already ten minutes past the time you should have left the house. “Shit”, you mumbled, rapidly taking the bag in your hands and giving Gaeul a couple of more scratches, while she was meowing and standing in front of the door. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours, sweetie”.

You were supposed to be drinking as the four of you were going for some type of party one of Minho’s friends was throwing - so taking the car wasn’t an option; you didn’t know much about Changbin, but you were willing to get out of your shell and meet new people. “Maybe you’ll finally find a boyfriend there”, your mom told you over the phone, “you’ll be thirty soon - not really soon, though - and your father and I are waiting for grandkids. Your cousin is already a mother”. Ugh, yeah, whatever. Some nonsense that your mother confidently states is out of this world sometimes.

Running up to a bus stop, you conveniently saw your bus pull up; jumping in it, you paid for the ticket and sat down on one of the many empty places, staring out of the window. As the music took you to another dimension, your thoughts flew by, pictures of your mother nagging you about the prospect of marriage, Chan putting his arm over Micha’s shoulder, Gyeom stuffing his mouth with a sandwich in one bite, Eunjoo and Minho holding hands ran in your mind with a uncontrollably rapid speed. You were thinking about Chan less each day, the images of him being replaced by your friends, new people you met and surprising revelations you made about this world and, first of all, yourself.

Every bus ride that lasted more than twenty minutes - just like this one - got you hooked on rethinking and reflecting on every little thing that had ever happened to you. Sometimes it would be sappy, rainy autumn day like memories: Chan holding your hand while driving, bringing it to his lips to leave a small kiss on your knuckles every time the car stopped at the red light; you and him lying in bed, face to face, heart to heart, having those rare sincere conversations, filled with laughs and kisses. Whereas sometimes you’d lose yourself to cheerful moments, those July bright yellow afternoon days memories, with Yugyeom watching you chase after his golden retriever Dal; with you watching some happy kids fly kites while on a picnic with Eunjoo; with you writing your earliest stories in your old diary, sitting behind the desk in you sunlit childhood bedroom. The happiest that you were, in all of those memories you couldn’t even find the ghost of Chan; as if he had never existed in the most joyful moments of your life. As if - no, no ‘if’s’ - he had only brought you pain, and tears, and gut wrenching disgust towards your own self, towards the little girl, singing along the radio songs in her parents’ car, towards the fifteen year old girl, who wrote her stories on her old laptop and squealed after getting her first likes on the web, towards the woman you’d become. The woman who made stupid mistakes one after another, noticing but not seeing the pattern she had with every lover of hers, not seeing Chan being the same guy like the rest of them in her history. The woman you’d become, the woman you’re still thriving to be - she doesn’t deserve the slander you put her through.

There might have been happiness during him - his jokes, warm hugs, car rides to his parents’ country house, him playing with Gaeul, his voice, his soft curls, his late love confessions. But there would certainly be more happiness after him, after this whole mess you yourself created. No acid rains burning your cheeks anymore, no scratching yourself so much you start bleeding anymore, no gray colors during the brightest sunny summer mornings. Is this what the phase of acceptance looks like? Is this where you stop blaming Chan for the pain he caused you? Nah, you’re not there yet. But close. Definitely close.

Receiving another text in the group chat, your thoughts suddenly led you to the anxious search for your ID in the handbag of yours. “Shit, shit, shit”, you muttered under your breath, when you realized it was nowhere to be found. Did you lose it on your way to the bus stop? Or did you lose it here? Oh no. You rolled your eyes at the clear memory of seeing it on the kitchen counter before you rushed out of the apartment. How could you be so irresponsible? You’d never forgotten your ID, ever in your life, even taking it to the convenience store at 7AM to get a snack on your day off. And now, when you clearly needed it to get in the club, you’d left it at home? Super responsible, girl, just awesome.

Having jumped off the bus at the nearest stop, you caught yourself feeling absolutely shameless about the fact of being late. After you moved almost to the outskirts of the city, not being on time has become your signature mark. Now you were texting your friends, explaining the whole situation, while getting in an Uber - just to shorten the forty minutes you’d already spent on the bus to twenty-five. And as the car started off, your friends couldn’t leave you alone.

“Gyeom, I’m sorry”. The first words you said to him after picking up, annoyance recognizable in your voice. Yeah, you were the one being late, but Mr. Punctuality didn’t have to remind you about it as well.

“I’m actually late too”, he let out a breathy chuckle. What? Kim Yugyeom coming late?

“What happened?”

“Nothing”, he sighed, “I just spent too much time on the phone with my dad”. You hummed in response. “I can pick you up, by the way”, Yugyeom added.

“You don’t have to”.

“Ah, it’s not like I’m goin’ to be on time anyway”. The yippy notes in his voice made you reflect the smile he was probably wearing on his face. “So it’s not a problem, really”.

“Thanks, Gyeom”.

“I’ll be at your place in, uh, around ten minutes”. As you ended the conversation, you heard the siren sounds in the distance. It wasn’t an unordinary occasion: the song of the sirens was playing almost an unstoppable tune every minute of the day, as the ambulances were rushing through the busy streets, or the firemen were driving to stop the fires. It was not unusual for a city like Seoul; however, the closer you were getting to your apartment complex, the more the clump of fear inside your chest grew.

The first thing you saw when the car turned to your building was the blinding light of the fire truck. Then it was the group of firemen. After it was the crowd, surrounding the fire engine. The last thing was the smoke coming out of the apartment on the fifth floor. From the apartment right next to yours.

Jumping off the car, you rushed through the crowd, forcibly pushing apart the nosy neighbors and bystanders, only to be stopped by a firefighter. You couldn’t think of anything else, of other people, of the party you were late to, of the things in your apartment - the only image in your head was of Gaeul. How scared she must be, how she’s probably sitting in the corner of your room, far away from the strange and dangerous smell. The clouded vision of yours, the tears in your eyes were invisible to you. The only thing you needed was to get your baby out of there.

“Miss, you cannot go in there”, the voice of the firemen echoed in your ears.

“My cat’s in there”, you mumbled, but he heard you, “I need to get her out. It’s an apartment right next to that that’s burning”.

“We’ll get her out, no need to worry”. The calm notes in his voice had awoken some primal rage in you - how could he even say that? You couldn’t not worry, for fuck’s sake!

You quickly disappeared in the crowd so that the firefighter wouldn't recognise you if something was about to happen. There was an emergency exit, but they were probably evacuating people through it, right? What should you do to get in?

As the thoughts were rapidly running through your head, you saw smoke coming from another window. Your window now. Your heart sank; everything around started spinning slowly and you grabbed your chest in order to calm yourself down - at least, a little bit, at least, before you took Gaeul in your arms.

Fuck it. You hastened your steps through the crowd, away from the main entrance, in hopes to get lost amidst those being evacuated, in hopes to get through the emergency exit without being caught. In the inner yard of your building your restless, teary eyes noticed one fireman guarding the entrance; and over there, on the bench was your neighbour from the fourth floor, a fourteen year old, holding her brown dog close to her heart.

“Hello?” She picked up her phone, the shaky voice of hers bringing more blood to your already jolting heart. How smart it was to exchange numbers with her all those months ago.

“Could you distract that firefighter for me, please?” You uttered, while looking at her. She turned her head and found your eyes. “My cat’s still in there. I can’t… I can’t wait till they save her. Please”. The girl nodded and quickly rose up to her feet, probably coming up with an idea of taking the fireman’s attention.

She ran up to the man, still holding the dog in her arms, and started rambling something loudly, the hysteric condition of hers being the direct result of this horrible evening. “What was she up to?” You thought to yourself as you moved from a tree to a tree as fast as you could. “Was she walking her dog when the fire started? Was she at home?”

How convenient it was to have a bunch of trees to grow in the inner yard of the apartment building. “I should thank the managing lady after it”, you watched as the firefighter turned his back to the entrance - now. The adrenaline in your stomach felt like a fuel to the fire of anxiety and fear; as you leapt up the stairs, two, three steps missed, your heart was pumping somewhere in your throat, bringing the inevitable, horrible thoughts to your brain. You brushed them off before you reached your floor, running in the corridor, which was filled with smoke, with an empty head. The door to your apartment was being broken down as you ran up to it, right on time - maybe, the first time you were not late in the last couple of years. The firefighters weren’t pleased a resident was out in the dangerous area, but you quickly opened the door - having promised you’d let them in without getting inside yourself - breaking the recently made promise immediately when the lock was open, dropping the keys to the ground. If the building management had fixed the electronic locks on time, maybe the whole building wouldn’t have to use keys; maybe, the fire issue would have been resolved earlier, had the firemen had an easier access to the apartments.

Gray. Choking color gray - that's what your apartment was. You could get suffocated in here just for breathing in the smoke, but was it even a priority? You would die but get Gaeul out of this place.

“Gaeul!” Your voice came out quaking, eyes getting watery with every step you took. “Gaeul, baby!” Almost flying into your bedroom, you noticed her scratching the window in hopeless attempts to get out. “Baby, you’re safe”, you whispered, swooping her in your arms. She let out a weak meow as you covered her chubby face with a palm of your hand. The firefighter was quick to escort you from the apartment, having thrown a blanket from the couch over your shoulders. You wrapped Gaeul in it when you got to the hall; she was meowing as you ran down the stairs, telling you how scared she was. “I know, honey, I know”, you kept on repeating, “you’re safe now”.

The fresh air hit both of your faces abruptly, making you gasp and cough. Holding Gaeul as close to your heart as it was possible - perhaps, if you squeezed her tighter, she would be inserted in your heart directly - you sat down on the grass next to the girl with a dog sleeping on her lap.

“Is she okay?” You nodded, leaving a kiss between Gaeul’s brown ears. She started purring, exuding that velvety purring of hers that signaled of her finally feeling safe. After finding her in a pouring rain, as her dirty little paws left marks on your white hoodie and her squeaky voice notified you she wasn’t pleased with being carried by some stranger, after washing her up and taking her to the vet, after making sure she felt comfortable in every corner of any of the places where you lived, after teaching her to use the litter box, after buying her the most expensive and delicious food she liked, after having her sleep in between your legs every night since the first one she spent with you, after building up your whole life around her when you needed someone to give your unconditional love to, after having no suicidal thoughts the moment she took a step in your apartment, after having her as the only living creature who loved you unlimitedly - how could you sit and wait till they save her? How could you leave her little figure in the hands of fate?

“Mr. Choi set his apartment on fire”, the girl said while petting her dog. “That’s entirely his fault”.

“Tell me about it”, you mumbled.

“Why didn't the police do anything when they were called on them last week?” She questioned. “He literally threatened to burn the house down”. You shrugged your shoulders. No one really did anything when he threatened to jump off the window, no one took his threats seriously when he promised to burn the apartment if his wife got on his nerves again. Yeah, like it’s a reasonable excuse for a possible homicide. What a scumbag.

“He ran away though”. She sighed. “But they’ll find him in no time, I guess. Mrs. Choi said he broke his wrist trying to hit her, so he won’t be far away”. You nodded absentmindedly, eyes still focused on Gaeul. She already seemed peaceful, only her yellowish eyes still being completely overtaken by the dilated pupils. She was lying on your legs, covered by that blanket. “Isn’t it your phone buzzing?”

Oh, that was the annoying feeling in the pocket of your jeans. “Hello”. You responded in a monotonous voice.

“Where are you?” Yugyeom sounded panicked. “I’ve been calling you for the past ten minutes! Are you okay? Where are you?” He repeated. After muttering a few words you hung up, putting the phone on the grass. The autumn nights started to get chilly; but you were willing to stay seated on the cold ground as long as it took for Gaeul to fully calm down.

In mere seconds Yugyeom appeared in the inner yard, dashing to you. “Are you okay?” He observed you carefully, and then the gaze of his fell to Gaeul, curled up on your lap. “Are you okay, sweetling?”

“She ran into the building to save her cat”, your neighbor proudly proclaimed. Yugyeom gave a look - not the ‘Are you crazy?’ or ‘You’re insane’ one, but the look, striking as… Worry? Pain? Hurt? Love?

“I think the two of you need some warming up”. His soft voice impinged upon your indifference to everything but Gaeul; it seemed as if the part of you that was scared started to heal as soon as he helped you get on your feet. For the first time in the last half an hour you shivered under the cool wind, and Yugyeom took his zipper hoodie off to put it on your shoulders.

“You’re wearing a T-shirt”. You stated, looking at him. He gave you a small smile and shrugged his shoulders.

“I like the cold. I’m like Johnny Storm, y’know that”. You let out a breathy laugh - the first one after pulling up to the building. Your cat was already napping in your arms - the safest place for her, as it turned out - so you and Yugyeom slowly moved to his car.

The windows of your neighbors had ruined the whole front of the building - now the gaze of any person would fall on black frames around them. “I wonder if my landlady is here”. You said, when getting on the passenger seat.

“D’you want me to find her?”

“Gyeom, no”, you answered in a soft voice, ‘you’ve already done enough”. His brows knitted as he looked at you with utter confusion written all over his face.

“I didn’t do anything except for panicking and calling Minho and Eunjoo”, he noted, “and not like it’s hard to help you. Especially now”.

You gave in rather quickly. “Alright”.

“Give me her number, so I-”

“Just take my phone”, you shoved the device in his hands, “she doesn’t pick up if she doesn’t know the number”. He nodded before getting out of the car.

And as you were petting your sleepy cat, you felt the tears being finally let go from your eyes. Gaeul woke up when the salty drops fell on her side and, after staring at you for a couple seconds, started to licking herself up. You laughed through the choking tears and caressed her head and back, thinking how much your life had changed since the moment she magically appeared in it. It became… Brighter, funnier, sweeter. Even when she would wake you up at three AM ‘cause she was hungry; or when she would try to eat the yarn whenever you crocheted; or when she would sit on the kitchen counter while you were cooking. The thought of losing her made your heart hurt even more than it already was.

“We’ll be fine, right, baby?” You murmured when she started snoring quietly; you turned your head to look out of the window and noticed Gyeom in the distance, still talking with someone over the phone. A strange feeling of being absolutely safe around him had arisen in your chest the moment you saw his worried face tonight; maybe you shouldn’t push him away too hard - he’s one of the few people you can trust, after all.

Gyeom was right; he cannot certainly save you like he used to when you were kids. You can come up with a rescue plan yourself, like today, when you couldn’t wait for anyone else to save the most loved part of you. Anyone but you. Gyeom cannot save you; but he can give you the sense of comfort after you help yourself get back to life.

“Gaeul”, you muttered, “how long it’s been since we called him ‘Gyeom’?” A short version of his name, and he hated being called that. But when it came to you, his first love? He blushed whenever you said ‘Gyeom’. And why did you start calling him that again? Maybe that’s a sign, you thought to yourself, leaning your head back, maybe I do need him around.

“So you mean to tell me”, Jisung was talking with his mouth full, “that you and Micha are not together? What’s the point of bringing her here then?”

Chan let out a deep sigh. It was only a matter of time when Han found out. “We are together. But we just don’t like labeling it as a ‘relationship’ Just give us some more time”.

“ Are you kiddin’ me? It’s been two weeks, Chan!” He gnashed his teeth. “Every media outlet is calling me to confirm whether the two of you are together. What am I supposed to tell them?”

“That it’s none of their business”.

“It doesn't work anymore. Is she your girlfriend or not?”

“She is, technically”, Chris leaned in his chair, “we’re in an open relationship”. Jisung set his palms down flat on the table, the heavy breathing of his sending shivers down Chan’s spine. He loved riling his friend up, but sometimes he seemed to forget Han was also his manager. A scary one at times.

“I swear to God”, Jisung hissed, “I’m gonna kill you and replace you with another dude. No one will see a difference”. Chris chuckled and went back to his dinner, leaving Han’s question unanswered.

Him and Micha had a lot of history; but when he showed up at her door, drunk to the bone, she was more than shocked. He kept on complaining, crying about you, cursing you, proclaiming his love for you. Micha was impressed only by him being that emotional - nothing like that ever happened when they were together. A couple of days later one thing led to another and… Some time after that she was already packing her bags to go to Melbourne with him. Was it a smart, calculated decision? Absolutely not. But Chan, for whatever reason, promised to support her financially before she’d find a job there; alright, to be honest? He wanted to hurt you. To hurt you the same way your reconciliation with Yugyeom made him feel. Chan wanted to see you suffer as much as he did, to see you try to beg for him to come back to you. Spoiler alert: you never did.

Except for the airport incident. He almost caught the slightest glimpse of you, almost canceled his entire flight, almost called off all the business he had in Australia. If only he could delve into your features one more time, he would’ve put everyone aside. ‘Cause if you were there and he saw you, he wouldn’t need anything else. But he didn’t see you, so it was all settled as it was supposed to be.

Han was grumbling something under his breath while Chan was scrolling down the latest news; some of his friends had a comeback coming up, the other was starring in a new drama, the third proposed to his girlfriend… Everyone seemed to have their life put together but him. When he laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, Micha’s head resting on his arm, Chan would only think about a life he gave away. He could’ve been lying in his bed now, with his head snuggled into your neck, inhaling that sweet scent of yours right into his system. He could’ve been waking up to your leg lapped across his. He could’ve been with the woman he’s in love with, not the one he pretends to love. Micha doesn’t deserve this; but something tells him that she knows - just pretends not to notice.

‘Hey, doesn’t this house seem familiar to you?” Han shoved his phone right into Chan’s face; when his eyes could finally focus, he recognised the building immediately. “They report it’s been a fire, they’re still locating it”, Jisung continued, “and the guy who started it wanted to kill his family. What a piece of shit”.

The only thing Chan could see was smoke coming out from the apartment scarily close to yours. He was unable to forget the window of yours, the window he would always look up to just to see your smiley face. “Can I borrow your phone?”

Jisung swallowed his food, looking confused. “What for?”

“I need to call her”. Han rolled his eyes but obliged, lending the phone to his friend. Chan practically jumped from his seat, running from the second floor of the restaurant they were in to the street. Chan was aware of you blocking him everywhere; so he hoped you’d pick up if Han called. What was that logic? Why would you even pick up?

If the fire was still being located, how big is it? Were you home when it started? Were you not? Is Gaeul okay?

Long beeps only fueled his anxiety. Pick up, pick up, pick up. Please.

“Hello?” The voice on the other side of the phone wasn’t the silky one Chan was hoping to hear.

Chan asked for your name. Was it a cop? A firefighter? A doctor? “She’s okay, she wasn’t home when the fire broke out”.

“Who am I talkin’ to?”

“Kim Yugyeom. I’m a friend. You?”

Another tingling in his chest, every little blood cell of his running to his head, fueling his rage and pain, mixing them altogether. So, Yugyeom is there? After all of your claims he meant nothing to you?

“Hello?” Yugyeom asked once again. “Say your name at least, so that she’d know whom to call back”.

“Don’t you see the name on the screen?” Chan’s words came out harsher than he planned. “Sorry, whatever. Don’t tell her anything”. Chris hung up the phone and let out an exasperated sigh. Rubbing his face with his hands, Chan couldn’t even comprehend what he was feeling. Why was the mere thought of you and Yugyeom in the same space bringing him the worst pain of it all? It was jealousy. It was all the love he couldn’t properly give you resulting in that horrendous feeling of envy. The feeling that Yugyeom might give this love to you. The love that you deserve.

How long will he continue pining over you? Maybe he should just start paying more attention to his actual girlfriend rather than the dream woman of his?

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@heylookwhoitis @amaranth-writing @itstorimf @tenshimara @whyyougottadothatbro

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21shotglasses · 2 years ago

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next up top 10 (8)

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dalamjisung · 11 months ago

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reblogging this in the spirit of Christmas!! Merry Christmas everyone <3

this christmas ❃ jackson wang

genre: christmas fluff!

word count: 2196

pairing: reader x jackson wang

description: every hallmark of your relationship happened on christmas. what happens when he has to leave?

(suggestion: read with THIS CHRISTMAS by OH WONDER playing –> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0TT3GTguB8)

You weren’t sure if it was the snow, the cold, or the memories that sent goosebumps down your body. You had a mug of hot chocolate in your hand,– a tradition you never gave up on,– as you look through the window, watching the people run to take shelter, and the cars carefully speed through the street. It was your favorite time of the year, and yet, it wasn’t the same.

This was your firs Christmas alone in three years, and you felt as lonely as one could. Your friends offered to come over, but you rather be alone, if not with him. Your parents offer too, but they never really liked Christmas much. Then there are your neighbors, your boss, the bartender that hits on you at the coffee shop, even your old college roommate reaches out and invites you out for a Christmas celebration; they all offer you company, and that just it, isn’t it? You don’t want an offer; you don’t want a half meant invitation to hang out, because you want to be with someone that wants to be with you, too.

You sigh, tiredly rubbing your sore shoulder, and your eyes follow a couple walking down the street, and you are sure you can hear them humming a familiar song– one that you also used to hum.

“Wake up, love,”

“No,” You groan, turning to face him and hide your face on his chest. “Five more minutes.”

“It’s never just five minutes with you,” He says and you can practically hear his smile. Suddenly you gasp, feeling his ice cold hands on your back, under your shirt. “Come on, Y/N, get up, my love.”

“Jackson,” You whine, moving away from his hands. “Noooo.”

“Yeeees,” He says and grabs your waist, bringing you closer to his body again.

“I’ll get up, I’ll get up,” You laugh, a bit more awake.

“Finally,” He mumbles, eyes locked on your face as you faced him. He was smiling a wide smile you loved very much– one he reserved just for you, in mornings like this.

“…only if you sing to me,” You say, grinning wide and laying back on his chest. Your arms go around his frame and you hold on tight– you never know when he has to leave again.

“Any special requests?”

“You know the one,” You mumble.

And he really did. His voice was like raw honey in the morning, and you allowed it to overflow onto your body, warming you down to your toes. You remember falling asleep as you hummed to the song.

Funny how things work. You two always promised to spend Christmas together, for not only was your favorite time of the year, but it was how you two met, after all.

“Y/N,” Your friend whined. “Please come with me.”

“Why would I want to go to a corporate party during Christmas?” You ask her, slightly uncomfortable with the idea of not knowing anyone there. “I don’t even work with you!”

“You’ll be my plus one,” She says, rolling her eyes. “And you say ‘corporate’ as if it’s a bad thing-“

“It is a bad thing!” Your shriek, laughing incredulously.

“I work for an entertainment agency,” She defends. “Think of all the hot idols, and the good food, and the expensive drinks.”

She did have a point.

In the end, you go– bot for the hot idols, or the good food, or the expensive drink; but for your friend. She is not really a fan of the season, and just to see her happy and wanting to celebrate made you happy and wanting to celebrate. More.

It’s almost midnight when you notice him, and of course you know who he is. Jackson Wang. But you don’t really focus on that, instead choosing to laugh at his choice of attire; similar to you, Jackson chose the ugliest Christmas sweater he could find, and like that he went to the party. Maybe it was because you were too loud, but he looks at you, and his eyes instantly light up.

“Oh!” He shouts, and pulls his friend towards you. “Look Jinyoung, look! She’s also wearing an ugly sweater.”

Trying to make up for the lack of manners of his friend, Jinyoung smiles and introduces them both. Soon, he leaves the talk, but you didn’t notice at the moment. It is only when Jackson tells you that story again during your first date that you remember Jinyoung was even there.

You see a yellow taxi zooming through the street and you can’t fight a smile blooming. You wonder who is trying to get home; and you wonder if they have anyone waiting for them, just like you were– sitting on a chair, looking out the window, with a, now, lukewarm mug of hot chocolate.

“You’ll wait for me, won’t you?” Jackson asks for the up tenth time, butting his lips in nervousness before looking at the boarding gate.

“Hey,” You call softly, squishing his cheeks in the enduring way you know he hates. “I’ll always be waiting for you to come back, yeah?”

“What if that changes?” He mumbles, and your heart hurts when you see tears in his eyes. “I mean, it must be a fucking pain in the ass, always having to wait for your boyfriend to come home from tour… months apart and all.”

“It is a pain in the ass,” You shrug, kissing his pouty lips. “But is my pain in the ass. And please refrain from making jokes right now.”

He chuckles. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Wang,” You say lightly tapping his butt, and ignoring the shutter of the cameras around you. It’s a talent, really, the way you could just pretend they weren’t there. “Now go break some hearts.”

“That’s not what we do!” He whines, allowing Jaebeom to pull him away from you.

Just as you are about to turn around, you hear him scream your name, running towards you, and you brace yourself. One last kiss, you think, and there it is. His mouth on yours, moving, pleading.

Wait for me, it says.

Always.

You chuckle, remembering the amount of tabloid links you received the next day. Your friends always make fun of you for being on gossip magazines, but you would shrug and say that it is a small price to pay for a Jackson Wang. Even when you are pissed at him; when you want to slap some sense into him– it’s still a very small price to pay.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Jackson?” You shout, marching inside your shared apartment.

He sighs. “Please lower your voice, I-“

“Don’t,” You sneer, and he knows better than not listening to you. “You promised me.”

Fights with you two were always like that; you losing it and him trying to be composed. He hated seeing you upset, really, but he knew there was no avoiding it. No relationship would survive without a few fights here and there.

“It’s not like I have a choice!” He defends himself. “It’s not like I looked at JYP and said, ‘hey, please book our last show on Christmas night!’”

“But did you even contest it?” You ask, trying to calm down. “Did you even try?”

“I-“ He chokes on his words. “I don’t know what you expect from me, Y/N… it’s my job.”

“Yeah,” You say, holding back sob. “It is, isn’t it?”

“Babe…” He sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” You say, and turn around, mindlessly walking to kitchen. “Go pack. You leave tomorrow.”

“Y/N,” He pleads. “Please. I don’t wanna leave you for three months with this in between us.”

“It’s fine, really,” You say, defeated. “I was overreacting. It’s just Christmas. It doesn’t really matter.”

And he didn’t know what hurt the most; hearing you say that, or finding you sleeping in the couch in the middle of the night.

Truth is, you regretted that night. Yes, Christmas is important for you– always was, always will be. When you were little you would always build the tree by yourself, and put the present under them so that you could wake up to a ‘surprise.’ You always loved the idea of Santa Claus, still do, because at least that showed you that there was still something good.

You met Jackson when you were going through a rough patch; you had been fired, and for a while, you couldn’t look forward to anything besides Christmas, so meeting him on that fateful day could’ve only been the universe saying ‘here you go, something worth looking forward to.’ And he knew; he knew about all of it and that is why he only officially asked you to move in with him a year later, on Christmas day. It turned into an unsaid thing in between you two; important things would always be announced on Christmas. So the fact that he isn’t there with you on Christmas Day shattered you, but you knew there is nothing he could do. It was his job, after all; but you’ll be damned if you say you wouldn’t give anything to have him there, sitting with you on his lap, drinking hot chocolate and listening to Christmas songs.

You’d give all the snow and sleigh bells to hear him whisper in your ear how much he loved you; all the cold and mistletoes, just to have his arms around you. You’d give anything.

With a sigh, you start waking up your body; your first move your arms, and then you untuck your legs from underneath your body. You’ve been sitting there since the morning, and when you try to call Jackson, the fight just another looming insecurity over your head, he didn’t pick up; so you’ve been waiting for him to call you back ever since. You know his last show of the tour is tonight, but it’s had been over for hours, now, and still nothing from your boyfriend. Even his members called you…

Just as you are about to stand up and take your empty mug– and the filled one, standing on the window sill– to the sink, you notice another cab, slowing down as it comes down your street. You chuckle, but it dies as soon s the cab stops in front of your building.

No, you think. A lot of people live here. Don’t be an idiot, Y/N, he comes back in two days-

But your line of thought is cut off upon noticing a strangely familiar mess of limbs and hair and jean jacket exciting the car in a hurry.

“No way,” You mumble, squinting out the window still. “No way, no way no way-“

“Way.”

You turn around so fast that the armchair even tips a little bit backwards, making you squeal as he runs to you. When he embraces you, you are already sobbing. You can’t believe he did this.

“I tried,” He mumbles softly in your hair, squeezing you to his chest. “I really did, but this is the best I could do. I’m sorry Christmas is almost over, love.”

“You’re here,” You breath in his scent, hands wondering over his arms, and shoulders, and finally grabbing his face. “You’re really here, on Christmas.”

“Yeah,” He chuckles, mouth kissing you quickly. “Not the whole day but-“

“Fuck that,” You kiss him again; slowly this time. All of your frustrations, all of your hope and sadness, everything suddenly dissipates as soon as he pulls you closer. “You’re here, Jackson. I love you.”

And at that he pulls away, with an animated ‘ha!’ And runs to his backpack discarded by the door.

“Turn around.”

“Why?” You ask.

“Because I’m asking nicely,” He laughs, and tells you again. “Turn around.”

You roll your eyes and do as he says. You are back to your original position, sitting on the armchair, looking out the window; and then he says it again.

“Alright,” He chuckles and is that nervousness that you hear? “Turn around again.”

“Jackson, what the-“

You choke on whatever else you were going to say. In front of you is him, the love of your life, on one knee, holding a ring. You are still on the armchair, hiding behind the backrest, crying silently.

“I’m here, love,” He says, and there it is, the nervousness you hear before. “I’m here, and I don’t want to leave again and even though I will have to, I want you to come with me. Always.”

“Jackson,” You breath out, smiling behind your shaking hands. “You know what I’m asking,” He says. “So get up and come here.”

You have to crawl to him because your legs don’t work.

“We still have,” He looks at his watch. “One hour of Christmas. So marry me, Y/N. Let me spend every single Christmas with you. Fuck it, let’s get married on Christmas!”

“Yes,” You mumble and his eyes go wide, as if he didn’t expect you to say yes. “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I’ll marry you. I love you.”

One kiss and fist bump later, Christmas really begins; with the man you love in your arms, and promises of Christmases to come.

———

jackson is the softest member of got7, i swear 😭 what did you think? let me know! :P

#got7 #got7 imagines #mark tuan #im jaebeom #park jinyoung #jackson wang #choi youngjae #bambam #kim yugyeom #imagine #imagines #multifandom imagines #kpop #kpop scenarios #igot7 #christmas #jackson x reader #jackson x you #jackson x y/n

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justwritedreams · 1 year ago

Text

House Of Cards | San

San x Reader, exes to lovers au!, mafia au!

Word count: 12.013 (hehe)

Genre: angst, suggestive, fluff at the end

Warning: mention of crimes and violence, suggestive, language, San in a pool bc that's a warning. If you don't feel comfortable DON’T READ IT!

Author: Maari

Note: Ok so that was an imagine that i wrote with got7 yugyeom but reading again i decided to repost with san, because i think it fits him more.

Summary: It seems like your ghost from the past came at the best time to save you.

Taglist: @foxinnie8

⪢ Ateez Masterlist

“Miss Y/N.” She heard her own name echo through the corridor and turned around, coming face to face with one of the security guards whose name she hadn't yet memorized.

"Yes?"

“Mr. Kim wants to see you.”

She took a deep breath. She had just arrived at the hotel, he himself had told her to go up to the presidential suite

“Tell him I’m coming.”

“Now, miss.” His serious tone made her stop in her tracks and look at the security guard with some concern.

It wouldn't be good to go against Seungho's rules. It never was.

She nodded and followed him, the shower she planned to take would have to wait a little bit.

A while ago she would have sighed at the elegance of the hotel but unfortunately for Y/N, she was starting to get used to that life.

Well, used to wasn't quite the word. Conformed was more certain.

As she predicted, the security guard took her to a private area of the hotel, she was sure that Seungho had requested that only he frequent that place and with the great influence he had, it wasn't denied.

Y/N approached him alone and in silence, seeing him sitting in an armchair staring at the glass of whiskey he held.

"Wanted to see me?" She crossed her arms behind her body and swallowed hard when he looked at her.

She hated the weight of his eyes on her.

"Come here." he patted his own leg and she got the message, taking a deep breath before sitting on his lap.

Seungho ran his free hand down Y/N's back and stopped at the base of her lower back, the smell of alcohol was permeating his pores and it was enough for her to realize that this wasn't the first glass of whiskey.

Y/N didn't understand the sudden affection until he approached and kissed her lips, as always in a thirsty and quick way that caused absolutely nothing to Y/N.

Except disgust.

"You didn't call me here just to kiss me, did you?" she questioned, raising her eyebrow.

"No, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy it." he approached once more but Y/N immediately avoided it. "Alright, I need you to stay by my side while I partner up."

He held out the glass of whiskey and she held it, reluctantly, her brow furrowed.

"Why? You're not going to introduce me as your girlfriend, right?" His eyes dropped to the small neckline of Y/N's dress.

She would have shifted uncomfortably if she hadn't been in his lap, that might have given him ideas she didn't want him to have.

"Don't be silly, of course not." Seungho's cold tone didn't even shock Y/N. "You know women with your beauty make business easier."

She blinked and blinked, in disbelief.

"Do you want me to seduce a future partner?" she asked, not as incredulous as she would have been in the past. This had been quite common, actually.

"No, I don't want you to go to bed with him." He responded possessively and angrily. "I just want you to give us the privilege of admiring your beauty." his hand ran up the spine to the back of Y/N's head.

She took a deep breath, she hated having to do that ridiculous act but it wasn't like she could say no, she never could.

"Okay, I'm just going to change my clothes." She got up from his lap, she was ready to get out of there, but Seungho held her by the hip.

"No, he's already coming." Seungho got up from the chair and moved his hand away from her body. "You look pretty sexy anyway." he spoke quietly, making her understand that his partner was closer than she imagined.

She lowered her head to look at her own heels, she should have chosen another dress before going to the hotel. That one seemed too short for her own taste but what could she do if Seungho had liked it and the pair of black high heels?

She lived to please him.

Noticing that she was still holding the glass, she downed the whiskey in one go so that she could gain a little more confidence to do the dirty work.

"Mr. Kim." the partner spoke friendly and Y/N swallowed the alcohol, which went down her throat and felt her heart stop when she heard his voice.

She knew that voice…

"Please, call me Seungho. Sit down."

Y/N lowered her head and opened her eyes, watching as Seungho pointed to the front seat and the two did so, with shaky legs she sat in the seat next to Seungho's and her eyes stopped on the future partner's hands.

Years could pass, but she would never forget those hands, not when they showed so many times the love that their owner felt for Y/N.

With complete certainty that this was really who she thought, she raised her head after letting out a sigh and her eyes met his for the first time in so many years, making her press her fingers against the empty glass she was holding.

Y/N felt a mix of emotions, her hands started to shake just with his eyes fixed on her, she didn't fail to notice that he analyzed her quickly before turning his gaze to Seungho, she got goosebumps from head to toe and asked herself how could he still do that to her? And what was he actually doing there?

"Choi San, right?" Seungho asked, making Y/N return to reality.

"Correct."

"Your secretary called me."

"We are very interested in a partnership with you, Seungho. I believe it will bring benefits to both parties, as my partner has already explained everything to you." the two maintained a rigid posture but unlike Seungho, San was elegant.

Of course, the gray suit San wore was very different from the hoodies he had and that she remembered, it suited the formal atmosphere they were in but it went beyond his appearance.

San's aura was different, as he was ready for that.

"Yes, it was a very productive meeting."

"I'm just here to finish the deal." San quickly looked at Y/N and a smile appeared on his face.

This disconcerted her, and she left the glass on the arm of the chair and clasped her sweaty hands to try to hide her nervousness.

"Well, I can pay you the first million right now if you want." She rolled her eyes discreetly, Seungho loved showing off how rich he was. "Just a minute." He got up from the chair and looked at Y/N quickly, walking away, leaving her alone there and ready to collapse.

If Seungho wanted her to seduce San now, that was a bad time.

But it wasn't surprising since he had never learned to read the atmosphere when she was near, he never noticed when she was uncomfortable or happy, because for him it didn't make any difference.

She looked back at San, still feeling vulnerable about being in front of him again after so many years and took in every detail of his face that she had never been able to forget.

He was different. His face was no longer so thin and youthful, now his features were stronger, more masculine.

The black hair that she remembered falling into his eyes was now perfectly pushed back and the side cut made him look much more handsome and mature.

Even in a suit and tie, she could see that he wasn't as thin as he used to be.

He was no longer the boy she had known, he was a man and very attractive one.

Her body vibrated for her to come closer and she felt her fingers tingle to touch his face one last time, like she hadn't had the opportunity in the past.

He continued to analyze her from top to bottom, much longer, which made her tremble all over.

Taking a deep breath, she decided to find the courage to do what Seungho had told her to do.

"You're getting a great deal, you'll be very pleased." the attempt to use a seductive tone failed due to the way her body was reacting.

She looked like a robot programmed to say that.

“That’s what they say, but it’s not the business I’m interested in.” San seemed to know very well how to use his voice in a low tone and something inside her warmed in a way that hadn't happened in a long time.

Y/N was left with no response and Seungho returned, probably thinking she had gotten what he wanted.

Little did he know that the spell had turned against the sorceress.

“What do you say we play poker while we settle the transaction, San?”

"It would be amazing." he got up from the chair and Y/N's eyes followed him.

She got up from the chair but made to go to the other side towards the uncovered part of that area, but she didn't even take two steps as Seungho held her arm tightly.

"Where do you think you're going?"

“I think the little act of being your luxury slut was enough for today.” she responded firmly and he tightened his grip on her arm, to the point of hurting it.

“Don’t play with me, Y/N, I want you by my side until the transaction is over.” His eyes were fixed on her face and for a brief moment, she was afraid.

Looking to the side, she noticed that San was watching them a little further behind Seungho, with his jaw clenched and with a rigid expression.

“I’m not going to sit at that table and watch you play that fuck poker that destroyed my life.” she turned her gaze to Seungho who now seemed to have understood. “You really like torturing me, don't you?”

“One day you’re going to have to stop blaming the cards, my love.” he let go of her arm, and Y/N controlled herself from crying.

It would be pointless and pathetic.

He walked away from her with a wry smile and passed by San, who stood there for a few seconds staring at Y/N until he shook his head and followed him.

She left there, feeling suffocated and her legs were shaking like never before, no longer able to control her tears, she leaned against the wall and looked at the clear sky, all the memories that she had been forced to bury came back with much more intensity.

[...]

7 years ago

“Get out of my house, please.” she begged without having the courage to look into his dark, gentle eyes, she would weaken if she did, especially if he was crying like her.

“Y/N, explain to me what’s going on.” he pleaded and she had to choke back a sob.

"It's over. Go away." She touched the door handle with her back to him, she was about to open it when he gently grabbed her arm.

“Something happened, right?" she took a deep breath before looking at him, feeling her heart break into thousands of pieces and sink into her stomach.

“What happened is that I don’t want you anymore, San. Don't insist." Her voice came out shaky and she knew she hadn't convinced him yet, she was about to break down in front of him but she couldn't. “We’re too young, it would never work.”

"Are you sure about that?" San slowly let go of her arm and looked at her completely lost.

She didn't respond, just opened the door with a silent message for him to leave.

No scene broke her heart like that when she saw him leaving with his head down, hands in his pants pockets and a tear running down his face.

She needed all the strength she didn't even know she had left to ignore the urge to hug him and tell him how much she loved him. Instead, Y/N closed the door and fell to the floor, now without needing or being able to control her crying.

She cried about so many things, she couldn't even list or understand what he cried most about, but she was sure she had made the biggest mistake of her life.

She had never felt so empty.

She was angry, scared, sorry and most of all, she was sad.

Because she had lost the only joy in her life, for a mistake that wasn't hers, for a decision that wasn't hers.

“Daughter…” Y/N looked at the stairs and saw her father coming down the steps, deflated and with a guilty expression.

She passed her hand over her face, drying her tears and got up from the floor. With long and silent steps, she walked past her father with the intention of locking herself in her room.

She would still have that night to sleep in her bed.

"I'm so-"

“Don’t finish that sentence.” She turned angrily, glaring at her father as she sighed. “I did what you wanted, now leave me alone.”

[...]

In recent years, Y/N has tried to erase that memory from her head. She didn't want to relive it like she did in the first nights when her life had changed, when she was brought back to reality with nightmares.

She didn't want to feel again the hurt she had towards her father for doing that to her and even less did she want to feel her heart break again when remembered San being devastated because she had broken up with him.

Even though she had managed to bury that day in the depths of her consciousness, that emptiness was always there.

And now here she was, being haunted by the ghosts of her past and crying like the heartbroken teenager she once was.

She wiped her face, thankful for her makeup being waterproof, approaching the balcony and surveying the bustling city.

A wave of nostalgia washed over her. She missed home, the happy moments she lived that were now just memories, she even missed her father. But mostly, she missed who she used to be.

The girl who had dreams and insecurities, which were always hushed up by San.

He was always everything for her, the kisses he distributed on her face and the convinced way he said that she would achieve everything she dreamed of, made her believe at the time.

She stayed there for a long time in silence, alone and without security guards watching her every step, making her feel free.

“It’s a wonderful view.” Y/N jumped in fright when she heard San's voice so close.

Looking to the side, she noticed he was next to her.

How and when did he get there?

“Yeah, the city is amazing.” she replied, still feeling her heart beating faster, she just didn't know if it was because of the scare or just because of him.

“I wasn’t talking about the city.” she felt San's eyes boring into her and a shiver ran down the back of her neck.

Since when was San so direct like that? Who had he learned to be like this from?

“Aren’t you supposed to be playing poker or something?” she changed the subject, still looking at the city.

“An hour ago I was.”

Y/N frowned.

Hour? Had she stayed there for an hour?

“So you closed the deal.” She took a deep breath and found the courage to look at him.

San nodded silently.

“You don’t seem very happy about this.” he smiled sideways, leaning on a pillar.

Happy? She didn't even know what that was anymore.

“I just hope you know what you’re getting into.” she shrugged, sighing.

“Why don’t you explain it to me?” San looked at her intensely and she returned it, unable to look away.

She could, a part of her screamed at her to do so, but she knew what she had to lose and she couldn't risk it, not now that he was there and she couldn't protect him from Seungho's fury.

"You wouldn't understand."

“Maybe I should warn you.” he took a step towards her while keeping his tone serious, without looking away.

“I'm not kidding, San. Be careful."

Y/N's intention was to get out of there quickly, but he stopped her from continuing when he gently grabbed her wrist.

The contact made her stop, her heart beating faster. Feeling his touch again was everything she had asked for, being close to him was much more than she thought she deserved.

“So let’s be clear that I’m not kidding either.” She could practically feel his breath, his face was so close she could touch it at any moment if she stayed there. “In nothing I did or said today.” She swallowed hard and looked at him, seeing the conviction in his dark eyes and once again, she was left speechless.

She wanted to cry, for so many nights she had dreamed of those same eyes and it seemed like a dream that he was there so close to her and at the same time so far away, because even though he was the San she knew, he was no longer the same.

He had a certain power, a fire in his iris that she had never seen before, that she couldn't identify.

But it was very different from the way Seungho looked at her as if she were his property.

Y/N's eyes went down to San's lips, they looked extremely inviting and she wondered if it still tasted the same, the attention she returned to San's mouth didn't go unnoticed by him as he wet his lips with his own tongue.

Before she could get even closer to him, Y/N blinked a few times until she remembered where she was and who she was with, if Seungho arrived at that moment it wouldn't be good, especially for San.

Thinking about it, against every cell in her body she pulled away from San and his touch.

“Have a good day, San.”

She got out of there as quickly as her feet would allow her before she did something she would regret later, she didn't look back and was thankful once again that she was without security guards.

She arrived at reception and Seungho was leaning on the counter with his phone to his ear.

“Y/N!” he called with his free hand and turned his attention to someone else on the other end of the line. “Matt, I already took care of all that.” She approached him paying attention to the conversation, it was probably something related to their return. “You know she's good for much more than that. Okay, I’ll be there.” he hung up, huffing.

"Problems?" Y/N asked without the slightest interest.

“I have to receive a load today from the other side of town and they require my presence.” he informed, irritated.

“I’ll go upstairs and get our bags then.” she pointed to the elevator and was ready to go when he stopped her, raising his hand.

“No, Y/N.” he scratched his head and she knew something was wrong. “I haven’t finished the entire transaction with San yet.” she crossed her arms, waiting for him to finish. “And you know this hotel does business with me.”

"I know that."

That part of the city was heavily influenced by Seungho. Hotels, banks, even the hospital operated when and how he wanted.

“A luxurious dinner will be held to welcome Mr. Choi.”

“What’s all this-” she frowned.

“I need you to accompany him to this party and explain that I had an unforeseen event but we will finish tomorrow when I arrive.” he interrupted her and Y/N felt her expression fall.

Would she be alone with San for a whole night by his side?

"What?" She didn't want to show despair but it had become difficult after that. “No… I can’t… I can’t.”

Explaining to him what was really going through her head was out of the question.

“I need this partnership. Matt will be with me and you are the only one who can be here representing me.”

“Postpone receiving the load then.” she shrugged and he took a deep breath, visibly irritated. “I’m not you, I don’t have to deal with your business.”

It wasn't part of the role she had played in those years. For business, she was just the statue that if she winked at the partners, with the right clothes, she could make them close the deal faster.

Seungho was too jealous to let her be alone with a man for two hours, let alone an entire night.

This then meant that whatever the deal was with San, he didn't want to risk losing it.

Annoyed, he held Y/N by her arm with a somewhat unnecessary force, making her look into his eyes, to see that he was serious.

“I'm not asking you to accompany him, I'm ordering you to.” In fear, she lowered her head, giving up. “Don’t worry, my love.” He got closer and his mouth met her ear. “Tomorrow we will have all day to make up for the time we lost.”

She wanted to laugh but held back, sleeping with him was the last thing on her mind at the moment.

In fact, her mind was too busy with images of San in a suit.

[...]

Y/N spent the entire afternoon getting ready for dinner at the hotel with the help of a small team that Seungho hired to make her look magnificent.

Small because she had begged him, she wasn't a Hollywood actress after all, a football team taking care of her appearance for a simple dinner was unnecessary.

He had made it very clear before leaving that she must use every trick to convince San to wait until tomorrow. For Seungho, this was her only role, to seduce his partners.

Seduce, never go to bed with them.

Because for Seungho, she had to have her eyes focused only on him, and according to his theory, the more instigated to have Y/N, the more the partners would be committed to maintaining an agreement.

Basically, she was there to make these men fools, believing that one day they could have something with her behind Seungho's back.

At eight o'clock at night she was ready and couldn't deny that the job had been well done.

The red dress was long with a strap on one side and a detail at the waist that made it much more elegant, black sandals on her feet and ruby earrings that Seungho had given her, like the countless expensive jewelry she had been receiving in recent years.

She believed that he gifted her with expensive and luxurious things just to keep her with him, as if it made her wonder if she could live without flaunting the good life she had achieved.

Each piece of jewelry increased her indifference towards him, because it made her feel like she had been bought by him again.

The makeup had highlighted Y/N's face in an elegant way and she insisted on wearing red lipstick, she was trying her best to do the job, finally her hair was left loose but left aside.

She even tried to take a deep breath when she left the room but she couldn't lie to herself in that situation, she was nervous. More than that, she was anxious!

Seungho had left one of his security guards to take care of her, of course he wouldn't be that stupid, but when she arrived at the main hall and saw San smiling at some people he was talking to friendly, Y/N totally forgot about security or anything else.

It would be cliché to say that she couldn't take her eyes off him, but it was the truth, he looked wonderful. Breathtaking.

He wasn't as formal as he was in the morning, he was wearing a suit but without a blazer, just a black vest, the sleeves of his white blouse were rolled up to his elbows with the first two buttons open and his tie was slightly loosened.

He had his hair pulled back but with a few strands in his face.

God, even if he tried hard for 20 years he wouldn't be able to get ugly.

San realized he was being watched and looked towards Y/N, smiling brightly at her and he came to meet her quickly.

“Miss Y/N.” He took her hand and kissed it gently, like a perfect gentleman and it was enough to make her heart skip a beat, and her legs tremble slightly. “You look gorgeous.”

She smiled restrainedly.

“Thank you, Mr. Choi, I must say you look really nice too.” she tried to keep her tone formal to keep the theater for security.

"Would you like something to drink?" he looked at the security guard and she understood what he was planning.

"Of course." she replied and he put his arm through hers, she looked at the security guard who was watching them closely. “You don’t need to follow me, I’m fine.” she ordered and he agreed, stopping where he was and San took her away.

“The compliment was true.” he said without looking at her face.

"So was mine." she replied quietly, feeling her cheeks burn.

“You got a babysitter from your boyfriend, huh?”

Y/N could feel the jealousy in his voice and it made her smile discreetly.

“The babysitter isn’t for me, it’s for you.”

They arrived at the mini bar and he ordered two drinks.

“Is he afraid you’ll fall for my charms?” he turned to face her and got closer, making Y/N get lost in his scent.

That was it, she was intoxicated by everything about him. The smell, his voice, the heat of his body, which wasn't enough because she knew he was much hotter than that, she just needed to get closer.

“Actually, he’s afraid you’ll run away.”

“And you’re here to make sure I stay?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.

She searched in her head a decent answer but all that came out was just the truth.

“I’m here to make you stay.” she said even though she wished she could do otherwise.

If she had the power, she would make San move far away from her and Seungho, for his own good.

“And how do you intend to do that?” he took a step forward, their bodies practically touching. It was incredible, it seemed like he could read her mind.

Because she wanted to get closer, enough to put her hands on his broad shoulders.

“He asked me to seduce you.” she replied quietly and couldn't take her eyes off his mouth.

“Can you do it or will I seduce you first?”

Y/N didn't imagine that San would be so sexy like that and as dangerous as that game was, she was loving it.

What she remembered was a much shyer and not so confident San.

She held back the urge to bite her lip.

“You’re going to need a lot more than whispers to seduce me.”

Of course, as if she could convince herself of that.

He had just approached her and she was already feeling weak in the knees.

“That’s what we’ll see.” San smirked and walked away at the exact moment the bartender brought the drinks.

He handed the drink to Y/N who drank some while observing the room.

She managed to identify at least three more Seungho's bodyguard, and it wasn't surprising since she knew he would never leave just one of his men watching her.

Not when she had already tried to escape from him a few times in the past, without success, obviously.

No matter where she went, whoever she asked for help, Kim always found her and brought her back.

She was so lost in her analysis that she didn't notice when San brought his mouth to her ear to whisper.

“Can I show you something?”

She suppressed a smile and took a deep breath before looking at him, seeing him smile so close to her.

His smile still had the same effect on her, as if the sun had risen in the cloudy sky. It was the light in the midst of darkness.

It wasn't like she had the strength to deny it.

He held out his free hand and she took it, being led out of the room soon after.

The party took place near the pool and only a thick, red curtain separated the two places, Y/N sighed as she observed the full moon, which was brighter than usual, she had never seen it so beautiful.

San let go of her hand only to sit on one of the lounge chairs, she turned to face him when she felt the touch disappear and came closer but still remained standing.

“What did you want to show me?” she asked, quite curious.

“Nothing, I just wanted to be alone with you.” he confessed, resting his hands behind his head after placing the drink on the floor.

Y/N swallowed hard at the movement, as his arms were in evidence and she thought it more prudent to remain silent, this time returning her gaze to the crystal clear water of the pool, feeling not only her cheeks heat up but also her heart.

It seemed like even if she wanted to bury the old version of her that night, she couldn't.

“I know it’s been years, but I want you to know that I never gave up on you.”

She looked at him at the same moment, San didn't take his eyes off her and spoke with such conviction that it left her speechless.

All she wanted was to be able to throw herself into his lap and kiss him all at once. Only if the situation had been different, if they hadn't met again like that...

But time wasn't fair to them, it wasn't in the past and it wasn't now.

“I think I prefer it when you flirt with me.” Unable to contain herself, she spoke out loud and wanted to beat herself up for it.

“I can do that too.” he shrugged, getting up from the lounge chair. “I can do a lot of things.” He got closer and she felt her body go still at the short distance. This was the time she should take a step back, right? “Especially the ones you want.” she felt his hand on her wrist, going up her elbow in a pleasant way and making goose bumps go up her arm.

Damn it.

Y/N held the glass tightly, trying her best to remember what she was there for and especially what she shouldn't do.

San noticed the tension and took the dronk out of her hand, ending the sudden affection, placing it on the floor but Y/N wasn't prepared for what would come next, thinking he would just stare deeply at her like he had been doing.

But one of his hands found her waist while his mouth found her cheek, placing a soft, lingering kiss on the warm skin.

“You shouldn’t tease me like that.” She closed her eyes, letting herself go for a few seconds.

“Afraid to like it?” he asked close to her ear and his mouth went down to Y/N's chin, involuntarily one of her hands tightened on the arm that was holding her waist.

"This is wrong." Her voice was nothing more than a whisper.

It was? Wasn't she on board with Kim's plan?

“But you want that." He bit her chin, and she could feel him smiling.

"No." although her mouth said something, Y/N's body said the exact opposite. She dug her nails into San's arm and felt her body getting weaker and weaker.

She mentally begged him to kiss her and end that miserable tension.

“Y/N…” she stifled a moan when she heard her name being spoken so quietly by San’s seductive voice.

It was wrong and dangerous, but why did it feel so right?

She felt that San was about to kiss her, she felt his breath against her mouth and no matter how much her rational side screamed for her to stay away, her emotional side was controlling everything because that was what she wanted from the moment she saw him in the morning.

She had missed so much being in his arms, feeling loved, protected.

She felt San's lips so close, her own hands going up to his shoulders and she was ready to give in, when his lips touched hers just enough to make a slight tickle, the image of Seungho with a gun appeared in her head.

"No!"

Y/N pushed San and suddenly he no longer held her, not even his perfume covered the radius they were in, she opened her eyes to find him startled.

She took two steps back, placing her hands on her forehead, now regaining lucidity.

What was she thinking? How could she think of putting him in danger like that?

“Don’t do that” she trembled, feeling her eyes tear up. “I’m trying to protect you.”

“But, Y/N…” he took a step towards her and she raised her hand, asking him to stop right there.

He obeyed, confused and hurt.

"You wouldn't understand." she shook her head to get the image of Seungho finishing him off from her mind.

“Maybe if you explained it I could.”

She ran her hand over her own arm, not knowing what to say. If he continued to insist, she would eventually give in and things wouldn't end well.

San followed the movement and his eyes stopped at a specific place.

“What’s that scar on your arm?” he asked and she automatically stared at her own skin.

Y/N blamed herself for not choosing a long-sleeved dress, mainly because the scar was recent so it was lighter and she hadn't even remembered about it.

"I need to go." Once again she deviated from the subject, if she continued there she would end up saying everything she shouldn't have and that was definitely out of the question.

She would never forgive herself if something happened to San because she had told him everything, even if that was her wish. To finally clear things up, after so long.

She ran out of there as best she could, avoiding passing through the room where that damn party was taking place and hoped that San wouldn't go after her, deep down she knew he would leave her alone after that outburst but she only became calmer when the elevator doors closed with a bang, her inside that cubicle.

Unable to control it any longer, she let the tears she had been holding back for a long time fall, it seemed like an eternity before she arrived at the presidential suite.

She stumbled into the elevator because of her tears and took the opportunity to take off her heels right there, she no longer cared about her appearance as she had been taken care of for hours. Seungho's plan hadn't worked anyway so screw the party, the appearances and all that stupid luxury.

When she arrived, she threw her heels in any corner of the huge, cold room as she closed the door behind her, ran her fingers through her hair and took off her dress without any will.

All she wanted most was to lie in bed and sleep for a good twenty years.

And even she tried, she knew it wouldn't be easy to sleep that night, not after everything that had happened and to make even worse, everything she had tried to forget about the past was playing intensely in her head.

The memories she had with San, all the first times with him, from when they met until the day she broke up with him, her happy childhood and her difficult adolescence of having to deal with her father's addiction that affected the entire family.

Hugging the pillow, she let the tears fall again as she lay there alone once again, as it had been repeating since her father had spoken the harsh words that had changed her life.

[...]

It was already past 10 am when Y/N decided to leave the room and go to the pool, the weather was nice to take a few dips and that would help her forget everything that had happened, at least for a few hours until she was away from that hotel.

She put on a very simple white bikini, a long white button-down blouse so she wouldn't be walking around the hotel with nothing covering her body, white flip-flops and big glasses to hide the dark circles under her eyes from last night.

Luckily for her the pool area was empty and Seungho's security hadn't come after her so far, which meant she was free for who knows how long, she left her things on one of the sun loungers and her sunglasses were also left behind.

It didn't take long to enjoy the warm water, trying to wash away any traces of guilt and uncertainty.

After wetting her hair and swimming a little, she leaned against the edge, closing her eyes and feeling the sun on her skin as if it were giving her strength back.

She tried not to think about anything, just wanted to enjoy some time she didn't usually have, alone and quiet with her own conscience.

She felt the water become more agitated but she didn't pay any attention, she was feeling so light that she didn't even care that someone was there too.

The pool was big enough for that.

However, when she realized that someone was too close, she couldn't help but open her eyes and look at whoever it was.

Y/N need to rest her arms on the edge of the pool when she saw San standing in front of her with a shy smile and no shirt.

She had a very privileged view of San's bare torso, she knew he had gotten stronger but she couldn't imagine how much and she couldn't even disguise the way her eyes observed San's broad and strong shoulders, going down his chest. She couldn't see his abs clearly because the water was getting in the way of having a clear view of how defined he was, but realizing that he was there in just black swim trunks made her lose her train of thought completely.

Even with the water distorting a little, she could see how thick his thighs were.

Okay, San had turned into a personification of some Greek god and she couldn't stop looking at him to burn every bit of him into her memory, which conflicted when she remembered what he was like in the past.

She had never imagined that he could be so… hot.

She cleared her throat, trying unsuccessfully to hide it, and looked away, missing the opportunity to see his raised eyebrow.

“I didn’t think I’d see you so soon.” she spoke quietly.

“I was worried about you.” he admitted firmly and she swallowed hard.

“Let’s not talk about last night, please.” she pleaded, sighing and looking back at him.

San was serious, not mad at her, but he seemed to be trying to figure her out.

“We will need to talk one day, Y/N.”

“If that's why you came here…” she started to leave, but was stopped by San who put his arm on the edge of the pool and brought his body closer to hers, still without truly touching her. "What do you want?" she asked, pretending to be impatient.

He put his other arm on the other side, trapping her there and Y/N had nothing to do but look him in the eyes.

“Does he hit you?” it was simple and direct, making her jaw drop slightly.

"What…?" She released a breath that until then she hadn't even realized she had been holding. "Who?" She tried to pretend she didn't understand.

San cocked his head to the side, only to stare at her more intensely.

“Kim Seungho.” he spoke the name between his teeth. “Does he hit you, Y/N?” he asked, this time his tone became more serious and his eyes locked with hers.

He already knew the answer without her even answering, but he wasn't going to give up so easily because the only thing he needed was for her to tell the truth and then they could find an alternative.

"No!" she replied desperately, her voice became even thinner. “I mean, where did you get that idea?” she crossed her arms, trying to be defensive but she was actually scared.

If San found out the truth, she didn't know what he might do.

“That scar wasn’t made for a silly reason and now seeing you in that bikini, in addition to seeing that your body is still beautiful, I can also see some purple on your legs and belly.”

She swallowed hard, trying to think quickly of a convincing answer.

“The scar… I've had it since, uh, I was a kid” she forced her throat to stop stuttering but his attentive eyes weren't helping. “and the purple ones… well, I’m very distracted.”

“Do you think I don’t remember all your scars, Y/N?” He brought his face closer to hers and she didn't have the strength to turn away. “I had the image of your body in my head for years, I remember every inch of you.” she felt her body shiver and sighed slowly. “Tell me the truth, Y/N. Please." he pleaded.

One of his hands touched Y/N's face, making a pleasant caress and she couldn't stop herself from closing her eyes when she felt the soft touch.

“That’s a low blow.” she spoke quietly, fighting her eyes that insisted on closing.

"And yeah?" she could feel he was smiling. “You know, I remember you loved a kiss below your ear.”

Of course she loved it mainly because only he knew about it.

She couldn't think about much or open her eyes because his mouth was already practicing what his voice announced.

Y/N put her hand on San's shoulder and found that the sun did a great job of warming their bodies, but their skin wasn't the only thing that was hot there.

Her hand squeezed San's exposed skin, suppressing a moan as she felt his breath right next to her neck. She was unable to reason with that sudden approach, nor even breathe properly like a normal person.

"So?" he asked, lips touched her skin as he spoke but Y/N was too lost in that sensation to remember what his question was.

San moved his face away and she opened her eyes at the same moment, missing the contact, he looked at her, urging her to respond.

"What?" was all she could say.

“Y/N, I’m waiting for an answer.” He raised an eyebrow and she felt her legs tremble again.

Her mouth suddenly became dry and she had to use her own tongue to wet it, a movement that didn't go unnoticed by San.

“Do you think… I have the capacity… to talk after this?” she was panting and hadn't even kissed him.

San laughed softly, his dimple showing.

“Good to know I still have some power over you.” he said, cocky.

“It’s so much more than that, Sannie.” he smiled sadly at the old nickname. “I have always loved you and I will always love you.” her hands went to his face, making him look deep into her eyes. “But I can’t tell you, forgive me.” she said, seeing him take a deep breath. “Please don’t continue with this transition, cancel this damn partnership. This is all too dangerous and I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. I just…” she looked down, unable to continue, water was calm but a storm was still coming.

San brought a hand to her chin, making their eyes meet again.

"Just…?" he urged her to continue.

“I’m afraid of losing you again.” she confessed, straightforward.

San didn't say anything and neither did she dare continue, she had already said too much, he then brought his face closer to hers and ended that distance once and for all, Y/N could only close her eyes when San's soft and warm lips touched hers. So softly that it made her sigh against the kiss.

He didn't deepen the kiss or move his lips, he kept the touch for a few seconds that lasted for eternity and Y/N felt her eyes water even though they were closed, the hand that was still on Y/N's chin went down to her the back of her neck when he broke the kiss and her heart seemed to want to jump out of her mouth, she didn't even know how she was still standing.

Without the courage to open her eyes, because she knew she would cry like a child in front of him, Y/N didn't expect San to hug her so tightly that it sounded like a goodbye, the kind that leaves you breathless.

She grabbed him by the neck and rested her face on his shoulder while the tears ran down her face and got lost on San's skin, she could have stayed there hugging him forever.

San ran his hands down her spine and caressed her, feeling his breath on the back of her neck, Y/N closed her eyes to enjoy the feeling of being safe even if for that brief moment.

The sun burning on their skin lasted as long as the hug, which none of them had any idea how long it had lasted, but it had been enough to strengthen Y/N.

“Never forget what I said.” she spoke quietly and walked away, feeling cold and empty again when she no longer had San's warmth surrounding her, and swam towards the stairs.

She wanted to keep that image of him smiling and welcoming her, that was the reason she didn't look back as she got out of the pool and picked up her things from where she had left them.

She hoped that one day San would understand why she kept a secret from him and who knows, he could even one day forgive her.

She knew that she had hurt him in the past but it wasn't because she was cruel, she was just trying to protect the one she loved. Including San.

She looked at her feet on the way back to reception and was ready to go to her room, but that wasn't exactly what happened.

A pair of expensive shoes stopped in front of her, stopping her from continuing on her way and she would have been rude if she hadn't been taken by surprise.

Seungho was in front of her with his arms crossed and his expression not at all pleasant.

“Beautiful scene, I think it deserves applause.” his voice was cold and he didn't even blink, she knew what was coming next and even so it didn't stop her from starting to shake with fear. “I’m just going to ask once, what the fuck was that?”

[...]

Y/N tried not to sob loudly but despair and fear were speaking louder this time, she didn't even know which floor she was on and she couldn't even think about stepping into reception.

With all of Seungho's security guards downstairs, all that was left for her was to sit on the floor of one of the floors of that hotel while she felt weak and helpless.

She brought her hand to her mouth to try to muffle the sound but when she felt liquid in the corner, she pulled it away and stared at the blood on her finger.

Her blood wouldn't be the only one that would be spilled, she felt anger take over her body and rubbed her hand with the other to try to get the blood out.

“Y/N?”

She looked to the side and even though her vision was blurry because of her tears, she recognized San and sighed with relief.

San knelt in front of her and touched her chin, the lighting in the hallway was low but it didn't stop him from noticing some things, Y/N brought a hand to San's face to make sure he was really there with her.

"What happened to you?" He made to put his hand on her face but decided not to when he saw the tears that were still flowing. "Come with me."

He picked her up slowly, Y/N felt her ribs throb but ignored it as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

He walked to the end of the hallway and opened the door to one of the rooms, from which she could see that it was the one he was staying in.

San placed her carefully on the edge of the bed and ran to lock the door, turning on the light in the room and Y/N's eyes watered even more.

In addition to irritation, shame too.

“Can you turn off the light, please?” her voice was weak and choked, she saw San's shoulders sag and looked away from him.

He did as she asked, leaving the room for a few minutes until he returned with a first aid kit.

Y/N took a deep breath and he approached, kneeling in front of her and held her gaze, when she saw that he wasn't going to say anything she looked at him and nodded, accepting that he would treat her injuries.

San did everything necessary and when she hissed in pain, he gently stroked her arm, looking closely at her.

“It was him, wasn’t it?” asked quietly after a quite time in silence, she noticed that he was controlling himself to remain calm.

Without the courage to respond and without any confidence in her own voice, she just nodded, listening to him take two deep breaths.

“How long has this been going on?” Y/N stared at him firmly this time, seeing him with his jaw clenched.

She wasn't ready to hear the answer but it was fair to him, even more so now that he was in danger.

"7 years." she replied quietly, shrugging her shoulders.

San got up from the ground, scratching the back of his head and then clenching his fists.

“That’s since…” his breathing got heavier. Since she had broken up with him, yes. “Y/N, you need to report this guy.” He knelt in front of her again and looked into her eyes, which were already teary again. “You need to step away.”

Carefully, San held her hands, bringing the comfort she needed at the moment.

"I can't."

"You must." he encouraged her and she shook her head, looking in any corner of the room.

“San, I can’t.”

"And why not?" he asked in disbelief.

“Seungho is influential. If I send him to jail for a few days, he might…” she trailed off, completely panicked just thinking about the possibility.

"Might what?" he instigated, he needed an answer and one that would convince him.

“Go after the one I love.” a sob was stuck in her throat. “You don’t understand, San. I have no choice, I can’t betray him, I can barely say no to him.”

He slowly pulled away and she took the opportunity to bring her hand to her face, wiping away the trail of tears.

Her head hurt, her eyes burned, her body was tired and she didn't know what to do. She was terrified.

"What do you mean by that?" He narrowed his eyes and she looked down, already knowing where he was going. “Can’t you say no to anything?”

She nodded silently.

It was difficult to speak out loud, even more so to relive everything she had been through with Seungho in recent years, even though she felt absolutely nothing for him other than contempt, touching those wounds hurt.

“If I dare to say no, this happens.” she pointed to her face.

San looked at her worriedly, his gaze more attentive than ever.

“Y/N…” she fell silent, waiting for him to continue. “Did he force you to do something you didn’t want to?”

San didn't need to say or emphasize the specific word because she didn't need to, she just lowered her head in shame. She couldn't look him in the eye.

"Yes." Y/N didn't even hear her own voice admit it.

All that seemed to have been enough for him, who was now shaking and keeping his hands clenched, the vein in his neck was popping out and he stared at the wall behind Y/N with hatred.

“I will kill him with my own hands.” he spoke slowly, getting ready to get up

"No!" she held San by the hand, preventing him from taking any steps. “San please don’t go.”

She despaired. That's what Kim was wanting.

After having "taught her a lesson", Seungho was very clear that he wouldn't stop until he killed San for having dared to touch what was his, for having had the audacity to kiss Y/N.

She couldn't even say anything, it wasn't like she was going to tell the truth about San's identity or else things would be much worse. Seungho wouldn't only kill San, he would torture him for finding out that he was the one she loved.

And she knew he wasn't joking, his bodyguards were in the lobby to make sure San wouldn't leave there. It didn't matter if he was alive or dead.

"Don't ask me-"

“Don’t leave me here alone.” She tried to get out of bed in a hurry but all she managed to do was trip over her own feet thanks to her throbbing leg.

San was faster and held her by the waist, helping her sit on the bed again very carefully.

“Y/N, don’t get up.” His hand stopped on her thigh, checking if she was okay.

“I just want to forget everything that happened.” she sighed, looking at him sadly.

Maybe it wasn't the best time for it, but San was the only person who could make her forget even her own name and that's what she needed.

“I want to be your Y/N again.” she touched his face, the words seemed to have an effect on him, he understood what she meant but was reluctant. “I just want to feel your touch, even if it’s for one night.”

Y/N's hands slowly trailed down his neck to his hard pecs and his eyes wavered momentarily.

“You’re hurt,” he reminded, voice lower. “I can't-” she put her finger to his mouth, shushing him.

“The only thing I can’t take anymore is this distance.”

San swallowed hard and held her wrist, still undecided whether to push her away or not. It was clear that he wanted this as much as she did, but he was afraid of hurting her.

“I thought that’s what you wanted to do in that pool.”

He looked at her firmly, reading if she had any trace of doubt, but when he realized that she was convinced of what she wanted, he brought his body closer to hers so slowly that it left her intoxicated and his hands went to her waist.

His eyes focused on her mouth and he brought their faces closer, leaving her anxious for what was to come.

But San didn't rush things, quite the opposite, still without putting their lips together he ran his nose along the length of Y/N's face from one side to the other, feeling the soft texture of her skin against him, one he had never forgotten.

Y/N sighed and closed her eyes, her hands still on San's chest, and her heart beat even faster when she felt his lips gently touch hers, making her grab his shirt.

San kissed her carefully and affectionately, his warm, wet lips dictated a slow rhythm that indicated he was just savoring and making up for the time they had lost.

San broke the kiss and she was already panting, without the strength to open her eyes, and then he started a new kiss a little faster.

Y/N took the opportunity to bring him closer, pressing their bodies together and made him move, leaning forward, taking his hands from her waist to rest on the bed as their tongues finally met again, thirstier than ever.

Y/N hugged him around the waist with her legs while her hands went to his back, while San took the opportunity to rest his elbows on the mattress so that his body weight wouldn't hurt her.

He treated her like a porcelain doll, fragile to the point of breaking and although she found all that care very cute, it still wasn't what she wanted.

So, she grabbed his shirt and pulled it up, that useless piece of clothing was just getting in the way anyway, he broke the kiss just so he could take it off while her hands went back to his chest, going down to his abdomen that she stroked.

She felt his skin crawl between her fingers and smiled, now she could see perfectly how much he had worked out over the last few years and she just couldn't stop feeling the texture of his warm skin, as if she could memorize every inch.

"Surprised?" he asked, his husky voice making every hair in Y/N's body stand on end.

She bit her lower lip.

“Not quite the word I would use.”

San laughed softly and brought his face to her neck, where he began to distribute wet, hot kisses, making her rub her hips against his and scratch his abdomen while she closed her eyes.

“There’s someone desperate here.” he confirmed and bit her earlobe, making her squeak softly.

Not because it hurt, but because she liked it. Very much.

“You teased me enough at that party” she replied and he decided to move the kisses to her chin, smiling.

"Thank you love. Red looks great on you too.” He bit her chin as he spoke, now kissing her neck and chest even further. “But I prefer you in that bikini.” He moved the neckline of the dress she was wearing enough to sink his nose between her breasts and her hands automatically went to the back of his head. “Or maybe without it.”

One of San's hands found the end of her dress and began to lift the fabric, he moved his own torso enough to be able to remove the piece from her, which she desperately helped him pass over her own arms.

He took the opportunity to kneel on the bed and observe her in just her underwear, she felt not only her cheeks but her entire body heat up, he looked at her as if she were the most beautiful woman in the world, enough for her to forget the bruises on her face and body.

He tilted his body to stay on top of her, still without letting all his weight fall on her, he distributed kisses along the entire length of her shoulder while she sighed, she was at his mercy and just wanted to enjoy the caresses he distributed over her skin.

San could do whatever he wanted with her. It could be dangerous, uncertain and even wrong, but she wasn't strong enough to fight it and being there with him, she knew she would be okay.

After years she would finally be where she always dreamed, back in his arms being enveloped by the love he still showed for her, which seemed to be ever greater than the last time.

There with him, sighing and moaning his name, it was as if no time had passed.

[...]

Y/N slowly woke up, her body still hurt and her eyes burned from the brightness of the room. So she brought her hands to her face to rub her eyes.

It was then that noticed she wasn't in the presidential suite, patted the other side of the bed that was empty and remembered the night before.

Taking the sheet that covered her body with her, she sat on the bed, brushing her hair away from her face and at the same moment San came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

She smiled discreetly as she stared at his bare and strong torso, memories of the previous night flooded her mind and her cheeks burned.

She had no reason to be shy, but she really was after what they had done last night.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." San smiled widely and came over to give her a peck.

"Good morning." She replied and he stopped, looking at her with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Nothing, it's just that… it's good waking up with you by my side."

She smiled, feeling like a fool in love.

"You say like you never slept with me."

"Well, when we were dating everyone thought we didn't sleep together." he shrugged and sat next to her on the bed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “That we were two inexperienced innocents.”

"That's because no one knew you were a pervert." she replied jokingly and his fingers moved to her shoulder, giving her a nice caress.

"You didn't complain about that pervert." He pouted and she laughed, tilting her head.

"Because I love him." she replied, moving closer to kiss him.

However, before they could make an intense noise of sirens could be heard throughout the hotel.

Y/N pulled away, scared looking around as if she could guess what was happening and San sighed.

"What is that?" she asked more to herself and watched as he got up from the bed.

"I wish I had told you sooner."

She frowned.

"Told what?" asked but San didn't respond immediately, he approached the suitcase that was on top of the armchair in the room and opened it, taking the towel off his waist and leaving himself in just his underwear in front of Y/N who was watching him curiously.

She saw San put on dark pants and then a white t-shirt, which really highlighted his torso, but the shock came when he took off a vest and she felt her jaw drop when she realized it was bulletproof, she knew because she saw the word police written on the front.

Feeling her head spin, she had to put her hand on the bed to keep herself standing, or in this case, sitting.

"San, what is this?" the weak voice asked and he finished putting on his shoe.

"Come with me." he asked and she looked at him confused. "Do you trust me?"

She didn't even need to think about the answer.

"Always."

San approached the bed and reached out to her, Y/N held it and got up from the bed.

He separated his own clothes for her to wear besides her thin dress and she did so, still not understanding what was happening, San made her wear a blazer that looked huge on her but covered most of the bruises on her arm.

He took her out of the room and they took the elevator, she was distressed because San didn't say what was happening even there alone, keeping his hand on her waist and his expression too calm.

She was already internally biting her cheek and when she got out of the elevator she saw that the place was full of police officers, uniformed and armed.

Y/N followed with her gaze a police officer who passed in front of her with a very large gun, hearing San's low laugh that made her continue walking forward.

In the hotel lobby, she was able to get a sense of the situation. Several of Seungho's henchmen were kneeling on the floor with their hands on top of their heads while some of the police officers watched them quite angrily, others walked around the hotel looking for something.

"Detective Choi."

Y/N turned her head so fast it made a noise, San patted her back before reaching out to the approaching police officer.

"Kang." he greeted his colleague, adopting a more serious pose.

"Everything is in order, the evidence and witnesses are being taken now."

San nodded and the officer turned his attention to Y/N. "And Miss-"

"Don't worry, I'll walk her to the police station myself." San spoke firmly as her eyes widened.

Police station? Would she go to the police station?

The police officer nodded and left, leaving San and Y/N alone.

"What is happening?" she asked quietly, and he held her shoulders gently.

"Follow me." she wanted to understand what was happening but his eyes said that everything would be fine and she believed it.

That's why she silently agreed and let San take her outside, towards a black car, he opened the passenger door for her and she got in without question. San got in on the other side and started the car while Y/N put her hands together to play with her fingers, waiting for him to start talking.

“Where do you want me to start?” he asked, keeping his eyes on the street.

Y/N shrugged, laughing lightly.

"You are cop." she confirmed and looked at him, seeing him nod his head.

“When you broke up with me 7 years ago, I knew something was wrong.” he took a deep breath. “I was always convinced that you would never do that to me if you didn't have a very strong reason, we always talked about plans for our future and one night you just didn't want it anymore?” He glanced at her, seeing that she was immersed in the explanation, he continued “The next day, I returned to your house, I was determined to talk to you more calmly but when I arrived at the corner I saw that you were leaving with your bags from home, what surprised me most was the fact that you said goodbye to your mother but you didn't even look at your father's face.”

Y/N took a deep breath. That scene of saying goodbye to her parents was like a blur in her head, the only thing she remembered was that she began to understand the meaning of being alone.

“Your father was your hero, your rock and you simply ignored him before getting into a car that had never been in your house before.”

“It wasn’t the easiest day of my life.” she commented, resting her head on the car seat.

“I know, me either.” San stopped the car at the traffic lights and turned to face her. “That’s why after I saw you driving away in that car, I knocked on the door.”

Y/N's jaw dropped.

"What?"

“Your mother answered, she was devastated but it seemed like she knew I was going to show up, when I walked in… Your father was drinking, he was crying and saying he had destroyed your life.”

Y/N felt her nose itch, indicating that her eyes were about to water.

“I asked them to explain to me what was happening, I don’t know, I wanted to be able to help in some way.” he shrugged and the car started moving again, with San turning his attention to the street again. “Your father told me he bet you on a game, that he was an addict and that he had lost the only thing that mattered. At first I didn’t want to believe it.” he laughed, humorlessly. “That was the script for an Italian mobster movie, but your mother confirmed the version and said they were forced to hand it over to you or else everyone would suffer the consequences.”

She took a deep breath, staring into space.

That was the truth.

She never chose Seungho, she was forced to or he would start killing everyone she loved, starting with her father.

“After a few days of crying like a teenager I was, I went to talk to Hongjoong. His uncle was a police officer and heard the story, he told me who the Kim family was and what Seungho was capable of since at the time he was starting to take over a good part of the west of the city. He told me that there were rumors among the police that he had gone after your father and instigated his addiction to cards because he wanted to have you.” she swallowed. She already knew this version of the story and still reacted the same way. “He had become obsessed with you and had done everything on purpose. I was so angry, I had never felt such hatred as I did that day. I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling that.”

Y/N looked at him, there was a certain anger in San's words and his jaw was clenched.

“That day I promised myself that I would take revenge, that I would make him pay for everything he had done to you, for stealing your life. Our life.”

San looked at her and smiled sadly.

“And I joined the police, I wanted to do things the right way.” she smiled lightly, it was obvious to her. San was always very correct. “But it wasn’t that easy. I needed to prove to everyone that I was capable, I went through a lot of things in the police to reach the day when I would finally have the opportunity to start investigating the Kim family.”

“And you didn’t deny that chance.” It wasn't a question.

San parked the car and she looked outside, seeing that they were already at the police station, he rested his arm on the steering wheel and turned towards her.

“I couldn’t, we would only have this opportunity to catch him. He didn't know my face, he didn't know who I was, we created a way to bring our team closer to him. And it worked, he believed it.”

She took off her belt and turned to San.

“You already knew you would find me.”

He nodded and held one of her hands, giving it a gentle caress.

“I know it will seem strange but I followed your every step, it was part of the investigation.”

She felt a shiver run down the back of her neck.

“Am I going to be arrested?”

San pressed his lips together in a thin line and brought his hand to caress her face.

“No, you are the main witness in this case, everyone knows that you were just one of his victims. With all the evidence I've gathered, you're all clear. But you need to tell the police everything you know.”

Y/N felt butterflies in her stomach and took a deep breath.

“Okay, if that’s what I have to do to end this story once and for all.” she nodded and he smiled widely at her. “What about last night…”

He laughed, scratching the back of his head with his free hand.

“Well, you don’t need to say.”

She laughed too.

San approached and kissed her forehead, making her sigh.

“I’m here with you and I’m not going anywhere.”

“I thought it was impossible for me to love you more, but I do.” she shrugged and saw his eyes light up, just like they did last night. “If I stayed sane all these years, it was thanks to you.”

San kissed the tip of her nose.

“I would do anything for you, to keep you safe. I love you, Y/N.”

“What about us?”

"Us?" he pretended to think for a moment and she narrowed her eyes, smiling. “I think we still have a lot to make up for.”

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rereisstuff · 2 years ago

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TROUBLEMAKER !

summary: the kbs song festival was here and you and Jaehyun were required to do a collab, who knew that handsome man was so shy.

pairing: idol!reader x idol!jaehyun

“Jaehyun you need to control your ears, they’re so red!” Bada yelled as soon as he placed his hand in your hip and you leaned back to grab the back of his neck while pressing your back to his chest.

with a faint smile you continued with the rehearsal, while now all Jaehyun was red.

as you both are the visuals were required to do a collab stage to bring some emotion to the awards, just as SNSD’s Yoona and 2PM’s Junho do almost every year for MBC.

the song picked for you were Troublemaker, a super sexy and touchy song for total strangers.

now you were in SM’s dancing room with one of the most handsome men you’ve ever seen and a funny dance teacher.

“okay, i can’t with you Jaehyun” Bada exhaled as soon as the rehearsal was over and you were sharing breath with Jaehyun because of the final pose; again with a super red Jaehyun that tried to avoid your gaze.

“let’s have a 10 minute break, i’m going to get coffee i’ll bring you some”

as soon as Bada went out the room Jaehyun almost drop you to the floor causing you to laugh “i’m not sick or any of that sunbae”

“oh my god i’m sorry i’m just…i’m really nervous like, my solo stuff is always by myself and never with someone this pretty so…oh god i didn’t mean it….” Jaehyun just closed his mouth suddenly as he started to talk nonsense.

was this the man that everyone were thirsting all over tiktok when your searched it? was this the man you asked Yugyeom to arrange you a date with but he said no because he was ‘too serious’?

it must be a joke.

“you didn’t meant to say i was pretty or all the other things?” you tried to joke but he seemed close to cry of stress so you placed a hand on his shoulder.

“i’m not intimidating sunbae, i’m just a cute visual in a band of ten and i’m friends with Kim Yugyeom because we’re alike” you laugh it of causing him to faintly smile as he seemed more relaxed.

“this performance is really no personal space allowed, i think it’s a little uncomfy because we don’t know each other that well” Jaehyun scratched the back of his neck while going all red again.

you raised your eyebrow jokingly, making Jaehyun realize that he sounded as he was trying to say that the song could only be performed by having an intimate relationship.

“i didn’t meant it like that!”

“okay, it’s fine i mean we can start with having a nice dinner thursday nigh?” you inquired and even if you seemed calm during all the convo you were definitely crying of emotion in the phone with Lisa and Eunha at night.

Jaehyun exhaled, trying to think in how to explain he wasn’t doing a inappropriate invitation but gave up and nodded “i’ll pick you up, send me the address and the time”

“it’s a deal”

as in a magic trick, Bada stormed into the room again, holding a box with two iced americanos.

“okay Jaehyun, we need to film the behind the scenes so you better calm down”.

you smiled at each other and you couldn’t help to blush now.

“oh damn fine, now you too?!”

#idol au #kpop idol #nct x reader #nct fanfic #jaehyun #nct imagines

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thedensworld · 1 year ago

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Lover | Kim Mingyu

Officially Dated!

Lover Series🖤🌼

Pairing: Idol!Mingyu x Fashion Editor!Reader (ft. Joshua)

Genre: Romance, Angst, Humour, Series

________________________________________

A memory from last week continued to linger in Kim Mingyu's mind. Well, he might have forgotten some details after consuming three and a half bottles of soju, which was his limit. But the fact that he woke up in a hotel room that wasn't his own, shirtless, with you soundly asleep on his arm, was etched into his memory. There was a glimmer of hope when he woke up that morning, finding you beside him, though your baby blue shirt you still wore in your sleep had him slightly disappointed. He had wished for something significant to have happened, a step towards reconciling with you. However, he couldn't help but feel a tinge of regret that he had hoped for anything other than a genuine, sober reconnection – the kind he truly wanted.

But that was best forgotten for now.

Let's shift our focus to the pivotal moment when you finally mustered the courage to confess your feelings for him. That night stood out as a beacon of light in Mingyu's otherwise busy week. Amidst his hectic work schedule and mounting stress, your presence added a layer of complexity to his thoughts. He wouldn't necessarily say that you were the cause of his stress, but you certainly had him contemplating more than ever before. Since the day you two reconnected after all those years apart, he had found it nearly impossible to stop thinking about you and the emotions that had never truly ceased since their inception. The truth was, he hadn't dated anyone since he met you. And he struggled to pinpoint the reason behind it. Why had he become so irrevocably attached to you?

Your confession from that night continued to play on a loop in his mind. He could vividly recall the excitement that had surged through his veins upon hearing your words, "I also have that feeling, Mingyu. The one you feel.." In that moment, he felt as if he were soaring, carried away to the stars. He had been waiting for that very moment for what felt like an eternity – and it had taken merely three bottles of soju and a dose of honesty for you to reveal your feelings. Mingyu wondered why he had waited so long to hear those words.

In moments of introspection, he pondered this question. Lost in thought, he hardly noticed when his hairstylist posed a question to him. Tonight, he was set to meet you once again. An excitement brewed within him, fueled by the anticipation of encountering you. He knew you would be occupied with the fashion show, but your affirmative response to his text asking, "Are you attending the after party?" provided enough hope to keep his optimism alive throughout the event.

Y/n: Yeah, gotta gain all those blood, sweat, and tears that have already been spent...

He had chosen to wear one of Mrs. Gia's summer/spring collection from the previous year to the fashion show. His attire exuded a natural charm, and his confidence radiated effortlessly. As he entered the venue, the flashing of cameras and the attention from the media greeted him. Among the throng of unfamiliar faces, he was relieved to spot his friend Yugyeom from GOT7. At least, he had a companion to help him navigate his desire to see you.

Wandering his gaze around the venue wasn't a novel practice for Mingyu; he had been doing so since the moment he reconnected with you. Learning about the meticulous preparation that went into orchestrating a fashion show had made him appreciate the efforts of those working behind the scenes even more. While most people focused on the guests and models — besides the clothes, Mingyu had learned to notice the intricate web of creativity that interconnected various elements – concept, visuals, and production – to create a mesmerizing show.

Amidst this thought process, Kim Mingyu's attention was captivated by your presence at the front of the house. Clad in all black, a headset covering your ears, you seemed to effortlessly command the chaos. Your lips moved in sync with your directions, conveyed through the microphone of your headphones. A smile formed on Mingyu's lips as he watched you assume your position, poised and ready to guide the show he was about to witness.

Ironically, the show itself was a blur for Mingyu that night. He found himself captivated not by the runway, but by your charismatic presence as you orchestrated the entire event. Instead of the nervousness he had anticipated, he observed you relishing in your role, moving to the rhythm of the music while directing your team through the microphone. In the midst of all this, you radiated an ethereal glow that drew his gaze.

The after party was a lively affair, and it became even more enjoyable the moment you stepped into the venue, accompanied by your colleagues. Yugyeom playfully nudged Mingyu, having noticed his intent stare.

"Why the fixed gaze on Director Y/n?" Yugyeom's question caught Mingyu off guard, revealing that his friend was acquainted with you.

Yugyeom went on to explain that he had worked with you on several occasions during his time in Paris. By chance, his manager had been your college classmate. Mingyu inquired about your personality, and Yugyeom's response left him satisfied. You were described as intriguing and captivating, possessing a youthful maturity that had enabled you to ascend to such a significant position at a young age.

"Why the sudden interest, Kim Mingyu? Do you have a crush on her? Need a wingman?" Yugyeom's playful tone evoked laughter from Mingyu. Little did he know that Yugyeom's jest was closer to the truth than he realized.

If only Kim Mingyu could reveal to Yugyeom that you felt the same way about him.

"Congratulations!" Mingyu's simple words were met with a warm smile from you, acknowledging his sentiment. In a playful jest, you graciously nodded as if you had just single-handedly averted a war – the type of nod that subtly exuded your awesomeness. The clink of your liquor-filled glasses echoed the sentiment, a cheerful toast to the moment.

Seated on barstools next to each other, you and Mingyu turned your attention to the bustling crowd. With a mirrored movement, you both faced the scene. "Do you recognize anyone aside from Kim Yugyeom?" you inquired, gesturing towards the throng.

Mingyu nodded confidently. "Almost everyone," he replied, his gaze shifting to meet yours.

"Quite the network you've built," you remarked, acknowledging his impressive ability to connect with a wide array of people within the industry. Mingyu returned your compliment with an appreciative smile. Curious to hear your side, he posed the same question to you.

Your head shook slowly in response. "I recall having worked with a few of them, but I doubt they remember me. I'm not exactly memorable," you said with a light laugh.

Mingyu's lips curled playfully, and he nudged your side. "Are you sure about that?" he asked, his tone suggesting otherwise.

With a mockingly skeptical glance, you eyed him up and down before rolling your eyes, followed by a soft chuckle. "What I mean is, I tend to stay in the background. No one really pays us much attention – not that we're seeking it. I just believe that those working behind the scenes deserve more recognition than they get, although we do get paid," you added with a laugh.

As you spoke, the cadence of your words, the passion in your eyes as you shared your thoughts and opinions, succeeded in captivating Mingyu's attention. Your intelligence and charisma never failed to divert his gaze. Your conversation was engaging, your brilliance shining through, and he found himself distracted by your presence. Mingyu was aware that it wasn't the most opportune time for such thoughts, but he couldn't help but wish to hold you close, to kiss you in that very moment. Swiftly snapping out of his reverie, he redirected his focus to your words.

"Wanna leave this place?" Mingyu suddenly interjected, interrupting your conversation. The gentle touch of his hand landing on yours halted your words, your eyes locking onto his gaze. You took a moment to contemplate his proposal, your gaze momentarily flickering to your colleagues on the opposite side of the venue. Signaling him to wait, you quickly sent a text to your personal assistant before nodding and rising from the barstool.

Guiding your steps, Mingyu led you towards the exit. A signal to his manager, a halted taxi, and he gestured for you to get in first. An unusual sense of comfort and trust settled within you – a sense you rarely experienced with strangers, and certainly not this quickly. While your relationship had been progressing positively since last week, it wasn't typical for you to be so at ease and trusting with someone. Mingyu mentioned a location unfamiliar to you, leveraging your trust to lead you wherever he had in mind.

"Is it far?" you inquired as you settled into the cab, observing him. He nodded in response.

"I have my car with me," you noted nonchalantly, prompting a facepalm from Mingyu, who was stifling his laughter. Chuckling along with him, you wondered why you had opted for a cab when you had your own vehicle.

"It's fine. We were drinking anyway," Mingyu replied, attempting to rationalize your decision.

Silence settled between you two momentarily before he softly uttered, "You must be tired," while patting his shoulder, implying that you could lean on him for support. Shaking your head, you offered a smile, but he insisted, tapping his shoulder more firmly until you relented, leaning into the spot he indicated.

"Rest. I'll wake you when we arrive."

Unexpectedly, it was the depth of rest you experienced, and you were roused by a gentle tap on your arm. The motionless cab indicated that you had reached your destination. Blinking in confusion, you surveyed your surroundings, greeted by the sight of a beach, its entrance adorned with the words 'Blue's Sanpo.'

You and Mingyu had arrived in Sanpo, a location three hours away from where you had started. A mixture of confusion and amusement colored your expression, which elicited a shrug from Mingyu. Taking your hand in his, he guided you forward. It seemed that neither of you had anticipated the spontaneity of this moment. The attire you both wore was sufficient to shield you from the evening sea breeze. Mingyu kicked off his expensive shoes, and you followed suit, sprinting towards the water with the exuberance of a child. Mingyu's eyes gleamed with adoration as he watched you, his smile widening when your gaze met his, your expression is a testament to your approval of his choice.

Side by side on the sandy shore, you and Mingyu turned your attention to the local fishermen, immersed in their labor on the sea. The ethereal beauty of their boat's lights created a captivating spectacle, adorning the waters like jewels. The ambiance was picturesque, a canvas painted by the lights dancing on the waves, announcing the arrival of fall.

"Y/n," Mingyu's voice broke the gentle rhythm of the night.

You shifted your focus to him, responding to his beckon. This night was reminiscent of a movie scene, an intimate tableau of the two of you sitting in companionable silence on the beach. Words were unnecessary as you reveled in the tranquility of the moment, relishing each other's mere presence. Anticipation hung in the air, and you could feel the warmth of his breath in the small gap between you. Gradually, he inched closer, a silent question on his lips. "May I?" he whispered.

His inquiry caught your breath, leaving you in contemplation. After a beat, you nodded, giving him permission. Without delay, he bridged the gap between you two, closing the distance. The kiss that followed was deliberate and tender, an embrace of intimacy. The backdrop of crashing waves and the chirping of crickets contributed to the symphony of the night. Every touch of his hand against your skin, every sweep of his lips against yours, resonated deeply. The sea air, laden with a hint of chill, only heightened the sensory experience.

The kiss came to an end, both of you withdrawing as you took a deep, shared breath. Opening your eyes, you found Mingyu gazing at you, his eyes filled with depth and unspoken emotions. A chuckle bubbled forth from both of you, as though you were momentarily transported back to a different reality, where such intimate exchanges were a thing of whimsy. His arm extended towards your shoulder, urging you to draw closer, an unspoken need that your body instinctively answered. Leaning into him, you rested naturally against his side, your attention still focused on the captivating tableau before you.

And then, his voice, soft and tremulous, broke the silence. "Please, be my girlfriend," his words hung in the air, a question and a plea, simultaneously vulnerable and filled with earnest desire.

Pledis Entertainment's Announcement: Seventeen's Mingyu Reveals Non-Celebrity Girlfriend

On December 29th, Pledis Entertainment released an official statement disclosing that Kim Mingyu, a member of the global boy group Seventeen, is currently in a relationship with a non-celebrity. The news was met with a mix of surprise and support from fans. At the same time, Mingyu took to Weverse to share his sentiments with Carats, Seventeen's dedicated fanbase. Here is the message:

"Hello, Carats! This is Seventeen's Mingyu.

I want to take a moment to express my gratitude for your unwavering support and love throughout all our ups and downs.

Though I haven't had the chance to greet each and every one of you properly, please know that I always hold good thoughts for all of us.

I'm so thankful to Carat for loving and supporting both Seventeen and me.

Moving forward, I promise to work even harder on creating music and delivering great performances.

Thanks to your positive energy, I've been fortunate to encounter only good people.

I hope that Carat can experience the same positivity.

My wish is for us to continue sharing positivity and love only.

Always with love, Carat 💎"

#mingyu imagines #seventeen angst #seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfic #mingyu scenarios #kim mingyu #mingyu au #mingyu fluff #mingyu imagine #mingyu smut #mingyu x reader #mingyu recs #mingyu #mingyu ff

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flurrys-creativity · 7 months ago

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Royal Quest

Pairing: Kim Yugyeom (GOT7) x GN!Reader; Genre: Royal AU, Shifter AU, Historical AU, Angst, Fluff; Rating: sfw, PG-13; Warnings: mentions of blood, an accident and bandages, mentions of human sacrifices and fights; Wordcount: 2.094

Summary: Yugyeom got gravely hurt on his quest to kill the ferocious dragon. To his fortune you found him and intended to nurse him back to health. Would he accept that though with you being the ferocious dragon?

A/N: This is part of a deal with @daemour and I finally managed to pull off my part of the deal again!!!!

Yugyeom winced in pain from his sudden movement upon hearing pebbles and boulders rolling further down the mountain. He didn’t know how long he laid there, heavily injured from his fall, but it seemed to be enough time for the first animals to approach.

He forced his eyes open, vision blurry and unfocused, yet he saw something colourful a few feet away from him. A stark contrast to the otherwise grey surrounding.

With his last strength Yugyeom tried to raise his sword, ignoring the pain that shot through his body. The metal clattered against the stone as he was unable to move his arm at all. Yugyeom bit on his lower lip, refusing to show any weakness.

As the seventh son of the kingdom, with no chance of ascending to the throne and constantly teased by his older brothers, he grew accustomed to swallowing his pain and hiding his true emotions. For the same reason he decided to leave the safety of the castle and made his way into the mountains in search of the dragon that supposedly terrorised the citizens of a nearby town.

The castle had received a lot of complaints, saying they couldn’t mine any further without the dragon attacking them. The kingdom relied on the riches hidden deep inside these mountains and no dragon should prevent the wellbeing of the kingdom.

Yugyeom’s hand trembled as he still tried raising his sword, showing whatever had appeared in front of him that he wasn’t the simple meal it imagined him to be.

A thought crossed his mind, the possibility of a human having found him. “Who are you?” His voice sounded off, way too deep and raspy for his own liking.

He didn’t get an answer and that colourful thing didn’t move either. Yugyeom sighed and dropped the tension from his arm, his whole body relaxing as much as it could with all the pain numbing it. The thought he started hallucinating either from blood loss or from being alone for so long made its way into Yugyeom’s mind.

Despite the blurry vision Yugyeom tried to keep looking at the splotch of colour. Though even that became too much of a burden and his eyes rolled upwards.

Dark clouds chased each other far up in the sky, giving the illusion there was no distance between the grey mountains and the grey clouds, the only difference being one of them moved around. A raindrop hit Yugyeom’s face. ‘Great’, he thought and closed his eyes. Though it wouldn’t be much of a difference with the coldness of his skin.

The scent of blood made you crawl out of your hideout, following your nose towards the source. You desperately hoped it was only the remnants of a wild animal being killed by a mountain lion or eagle. Anything would be okay, as long as the humans didn’t start sacrificing their animals or worse their own kind again.

It had been centuries since that happened but the horror still haunted your dreams from time to time. You had gone deep into the mountains as a result, far away from the humans in hopes of never crossing them again until a few years ago, when you came home to a ransacked bedroom. Seeing it smashed like that, you had gone berserk.

In hindsight you might have overreacted at that time but your instincts had run wild on that night.

You stopped in your movements, seeing an injured person between debris on the ground. Blood oozed out of several wounds all across the body and the human appeared unconscious until your eyes snapped to the shaking hand, taking note of the sword that clattered against the stone.

You stood a few feet away from the human, not moving an inch while you observed the situation. Even when a deep male voice spoke to you, you kept silent and waited. Waited until the human actually lost consciousness.

Once that happened you changed your form, your scaly body now towering over the small human being. You grabbed the body with one of your mighty claws, careful as to not hurting him any further. You shielded the body with your other claw after you pushed yourself into the air and glided on the back of the wind.

When you reached your home, you placed the human on your bed, pulling fur and other soft things closer to his body before you turned into your human form again. You stared at him, contemplating why you brought him into your home.

You didn’t know much about humans but he looked like a fighter with the sword and the shiny plates covering most of his body. You definitely didn’t want any of that near him once he woke up again. It felt like walking on eggshells when you removed those plates, questioning why a human would wear something so uncomfortable. They didn’t bend and move along the body like your scales, you couldn’t imagine he had a lot of freedom moving around in that.

Only after you removed them came the whole severity of his wounds to light, making you swallow harshly. You didn’t want to know how much blood he already lost before you even found him. The possibility this human died in your care became threateningly high. You also didn’t want to imagine what kind of reaction other humans would have if they ever found out. For a moment you wondered whether he would be missed, meaning more humans would come to find him.

You shook your head, trying to get rid of your thoughts. There was only one solution: You had to nurse him back to health and then bring him far away from your home but near other humans so he could show everyone that he was in fact still alive and well.

The scent of a warm broth pulled Yugyeom from his slumber. He groaned as he stretched his limbs with closed eyes, wincing slightly from the lingering stinging sensation.

His eyes opened together with his memories of dying in the rain. Yugyeom pushed himself up and looked around, unfamiliar with his surroundings. He blinked several times while he tried processing his own thoughts and what he saw.

His attention shifted from the cave like room to the bright colours that appeared in the corner of his vision. Blue, green, red, yellow - somehow you had matched every colour he knew in your outfit.

“You’re awake.” You carefully moved closer to him, offering him a wooden bowl with a clear, steaming liquid. “You must be hungry. I can bring you some other things to eat as well.”

Yugyeom hesitantly accepted the bowl with a nod, watching how you turned around and left through a narrow hall. He glanced down at the broth, tentatively sniffing it. It was then that he noticed the linen bandages wrapped around several parts of his body.

“Don’t move too much”, you interrupted him as you brought steamed vegetables and meat in more bowls. “Your wounds just started closing a few days ago.”

“How long was I out?”

You pursed your lips in thought, placing the bowls next to him, and sat down on the ground. “A week? More or less, I think.” You shrugged with your shoulders. “I wasn’t outside that much.” You looked up at him, tilting your head with curiosity. “Are you warm again?”

Yugyeom stared at you with a confused expression, waiting for you to elaborate.

“You were very cold when I found you. I had to warm you up a lot!” You kept a safe distance from him and observed his every movement, noticing how he appeared to be in distress.

“Warm me?” Yugyeom sputtered, feeling the heat creeping up his neck and tinting his ears a darker shade of red. His eyes darted around the area, making sure his thoughts were justified - and indeed there were barely any blankets around. He glanced back at your form, desperately trying to pull his mind out of the gutter.

“You look like you’re too warm now.”

Yugyeom choked on air and started coughing violently. He never met a person so straightforward. Even though he was only the seventh prince of the kingdom and got teased relentlessly by his older brothers, he still got treated like royalty by anyone else. Though he had to admit, he liked it.

His eyes landed back on your form, eyes narrowing slightly in thought. “Who are you?” Seeing how you tensed, Yugyeom let his gaze roam around the room one more time. “Also, where am I and where are my belongings?”

“The metal plates and pointy thing?”

Yugyeom nodded, dumbfounded.

“They’re outside. These things are dangerous and can hurt you,” you explained quietly, avoiding eye contact.

“They’re supposed to help me, so I can defeat the ferocious dragon!”

“Ferocious?” You scoffed, barely able to suppress the smoke rolling out of your nostrils. You quickly got up and walked away from the human. “Maybe if the dragon would be left alone, there would be no need for the attacks.”

“Maybe if my people could peacefully do their work up in the mountains, there would be no need to bother the dragon!” Yugyeom sat up completely, feeling irritated by your behaviour.

You turned back around, chest rising in anger. “If their work wouldn’t include invading my home, I wouldn’t have to defend myself!”

Yugyeom’s jaw dropped to the floor. “Your home?” He pushed himself from the bed and hurried over to you, grabbing your upper arm. “You’re the dragon?” His eyes wandered over your form, searching for the tail or horns or even some scales. “How? Aren’t you human?”

You scoffed and raised an eyebrow, even stepping closer to him until your chests touched. “Am I not looking ferocious enough? Am I too tiny, not beastly enough?” You had to tilt your head back so you could properly look at him. It irked you how he looked at you - not in fear or horror, no, he stared at you in wonder. For a split second you even played with the thought of simply shifting right in front of him.

“You’re messing with me.” Yugyeom let go of your arm and stepped back, running his hands through his hair. “Did my brothers set you up for this? They did, didn’t they?” He turned away, scoffing in disbelief, before he turned back around quickly. “How did you even find me? Did you follow me up here?”

You crossed your arms in front of your chest, rolling your eyes and barely holding in the scoff. You closed your eyes and rolled your head from one side of your shoulders to the other, feeling the tingling underneath your skin as you let parts of your body transform.

Yugyeom could feel his mouth drop open again and his eyes widened as two horns grew on your head and a line of scales appeared on your skin along your hairline. He gasped audibly the second you opened your eyes and to vertical slits stared right back at him.

“I found you because of the stench of blood in what can be considered my front yard,” you hissed out.

“Why did you help me?” Yugyeom stared at you in awe, his initial quest completely forgotten. “I don’t understand. You knew why I came to the mountains and you still helped me.”

“Because I’m not a monster unlike what your people love to call me.”

Yugyeom absentmindedly rubbed over the bandages on his upper body. “I can see that,” he mumbled, blinking several times as his thoughts raced through his head.

“So”- you walked over to your bed and sat down - “what are you going to do now, little human?” You got caught by surprise when he sat down next to you, hiding his face in his hands.

“I don’t know.” Yugyeom came into the mountains to slay the dragon that drove away the nearby villagers, but instead he got rescued and nurtured by said dragon. How could he possibly slay you now?

You shifted back into your human form completely. You sighed deeply before you got up and walked towards your kitchen. “Maybe we’ll find a solution that doesn’t involve bloodshed over some cookies and tea.”

“And some answers to my questions, please.” Yugyeom immediately followed you like a lost puppy, thanking you the second he got a cookie. “I think I’ll have some more time before anyone actually searches for me.”

“Because a quest to slay a dragon is quite time consuming,” you joked but nodded nonetheless. “Well, then let us have a heart to heart.”

Taglist: @xavi-in-kpopland

#got7writerscollective #kwritersworldnet #kdiarynet #wkcnet #kvanity #kim yugyeom #got7 #got7 yugyeom #one shot #royal quest

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beautifulchris · 1 year ago

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pink tulip

pairing: bang chan x gn!reader

wc: 3,4k

featuring: hwang hyunjin, lee felix, kim seungmin, yang jeongin, blackpink’s lisa, bts’ jeongguk, got7’s bambam and yugyeom, golden child's jangjun

summary: you’re always glued to your best friend chan, and your seventh year with him is no different

genres: hogwarts!au, best friends to lovers!au, gryffindor!chan, gryffindor!reader, fluff

warnings: kissing

notes: moodboard made by me, pictures found on the internet. reposting works from my old blog

order of writing: chan - jisung - minho - hyunjin - jeongin - seungmin - changbin - felix

networks: @kflixnet @k-labels @straykidsland

tag list: @badwithten @raethethey send ask/dm/comment to be added!

The weather was perfect on a sunday like this. Warm with a refreshing breeze. On the Quidditch pitch, a majority of Gryffindor were either on the field, a broom in hand or sitting between the stands.

You were set back from the group of people on the field, stretching to be in the best form possible.

Quidditch meant a lot to you, it had for five years now. Being in the Quidditch team for so long meant having friends and rivals but overall, you were very friendly so the rivalry turned into friendship over the years.

You were stretching your arms when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned around with your arm still spread and hit Jeongguk’s shoulder.

“Eh!”

Yugyeom was laughing and you joined him cheerfully. Jeongguk’s expression was too funny to be ignored.

“You scared me Gguk, it’s your fault. Hi Yugy.”

“Hi Y/N, how’s it going?”

“I’m ready to keep my place. Also congrats on you two for staying as beaters this year.”

“Thanks. We’ll try not to take you down too much.”

”You’ll wish you did,” you bragged.

They scoffed with smiles on their faces. “It’s almost time for tryouts, we’ll be on the stands cheering you on,” said Yugyeom gently.

“Yeah, we wouldn’t miss this for anything.”

“Just say you’re here to spy on us for Soyeon,” you accused, not being serious at all.

“Can’t we cheer on our friend without being attacked like this?” Yugyeom fake cried.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Thanks guys, your presence is really appreciated,” you smiled at them as they walked away, waving at you.

As the chaser, you were one of the best elements of the team. But really, you always thought the team was getting better and better over the years. Especially since Hyunjin joined.

Speaking of which, he only had time to come to you when Chan went straight to you both when he saw you on the field.

“Hey,” Chan greeted as he kissed your forehead and hugged Hyunjin.

Chan was your best friend. He always greeted you with a kiss on your forehead. It was his way of showing you affection. He was also a lot clingy, so he hugged his friends often, you included.

“Hey, do I really have to audition for the tryouts again?”

Chan was the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. He was also the last —but not least— one to make the tryouts for the team of the year. Around thirty students —more people than the year before— came and he was divided between being happy so many people wanted to be part of the team and being anxious because he knew he inevitably had to say no to more of them.

“Are you scared better chasers will take your place, Hyunjin?” Chan asked, smirking.

“Definitely not, I’m determined to get in.”

“You’re right, you’re one of the best. If Chan doesn’t take you back, that would be the team’s loss. And you don’t want a weak team, am I right, Chan?” you asked, turning to Chan.

Hyunjin thanked you for your kind words and you winked at him while Chan waited for him to walk away before giving you an implied look. To which you replied with a raised eyebrow.

“What? Am I not right?”

“You are, he’s one of the best. But there’s a lot of people today, I ca—”

“So what?” you cut him off. “You know like me that none is better than him.”

“You seem to forget yourself.”

“What does it have to do with me?”

“You’re as good as he is, if not better. Give your best today, it would be a shame if I had to replace you,” he winked at you, put his broom between his legs and flew into the air without letting you reply.

He went in front of the mass of people who were waiting for the tryouts while you were left flustered by his wink. You quickly put yourself together (you’ll have plenty of time to rant after the tryouts), picked up your broom and went next to Hyunjin to listen to what the captain had to say.

“Thank you everyone for coming today. As you know, six people will be selected for this year. A seeker, two beaters and three chasers. Let’s begin with the chasers, shall we? Next will be the beaters then the seeker. Please, those who came for the other positions you can go to the stands for now.”

You prepared yourself and went in the air as easily as walking. Flying on a broom was so satisfying, you really loved it and were almost more comfortable in the air than on the ground.

Chan positioned himself in front of the hooped goal posts and Bambam, the freshly new Gryffindor Head Boy, who you didn’t see coming, threw the quaffle into the air. The tryouts had officially started and you were ready to show your skills.

About thirty minutes later, the verdict was final. Everyone returned to the ground and gathered around Chan.

“I want you all to know that if you’re not taken this year, don’t lose hope. Your time will come. I mean, it's my last year,” he laughed. “Alright, let me introduce the new chasers for this year: Y/N Y/L/N, Lisa Manoban and Hyunjin Hwang. Congratulations to you three.”

Everyone clapped their hands. Chan’s eyes met yours and your smile lighted up his face, making him smile brightly, showing his cute dimples. You then found Lisa and Hyunjin and hugged them tight.

“I’m so happy. We’re like the holy trinity,” beamed Lisa into your ear.

“It’s true, we’re a killing team,” added Hyunjin.

You closed your eyes and enjoyed the moment of joy you were sharing with your friends while the field was slowly emptying, leaving the chasers and the keeper.

“Guys, the beaters are coming. Ready to go there again?”

“Way to kill the mood, Chan,” whined Lisa but you went back into the air like you belonged there.

The beaters were chosen after forty minutes into the game. It wasn’t without complaints but Mingyu Kim and Chaeyoung Son were the best. They deserved it, since they almost killed you —twice.

For the seeker, you all had to play again, but somehow you never got tired of it. You were amazed by the time Mark Lee needed to catch the snitch. Eight minutes. He was the fastest boy you ever saw.

When he returned to the ground where everyone was waiting for him, you realized his broom was the fastest of the current year.

Of course, you thought, it helps.

But he truly was the best, the broom couldn’t create talent. You were sure to win all the games with him.

The tryouts finished, you directly went to take a shower and relax in the Gryffindor common room. Your transfiguration homework could wait an hour or two.

Chan sat next to you on the comfortable couch.

“You were amazing today. I couldn’t stop any quaffle you threw.” He was truly impressed by you. Ordinarily, he could stop two or three, but today, you were at your best form.

“Thank you. I practiced during summer with my dad,” you explained. “But are you sure it’s me getting better or you getting sloppy?”

He looked at you in disbelief and it made you giggle. His features softened at the view, he undeniably had a soft spot for you.

If only you could see it, he often thought.

“Hey, you want to spend the day with me next weekend?” offered Chan.

“Sure, what do you want to do?”

“We could revise for the N.E.W.T. at the Three Broomsticks?”

“Like a study date?”

“A—a date?” he choked a bit.

“Yeah, it’s not what you were asking?”

“Oh yes, yes it was.”

Chan felt awkward and stupid for stuttering like that. He wanted to show more assurance but you were making his heart beat so fast he couldn’t help it.

He was saved by the gong. Or more precisely, Jeongin, who needed help for the Lapifors spell. You greeted the younger and they left you.

You had your eyes closed and didn’t open them when you felt someone sitting next to you again.

“When are you going to confess?”

Your eyes opened wide and you looked at the boy.

“What are you even doing here, Seungmin?”

“I came here right after the tryouts to congratulate you and Hyunjin. So congrats. And don’t change the subject,” he grinned.

You sighed, staring at the portrait of the lion above the fireplace.

“Thanks. We have a study date next week,” you simply replied.

“A WHAT? You’re growing up so fast,” he said in an emotional voice, wiping off a non-existent tear from his eye.

“You’re younger than me, silly,” you laughed at his reaction.

“True but still, it’s been years Y/N. It was about time you did something.”

You completely ignored what he just said. “I think he flirted with me before the tryouts. I’m not sure though.”

“…What did he say?”

“He complimented me on my skills and winked at me. I was so flustered, Seungmin, I swear he’s so likable.”

“Whipped.” He giggled shamelessly at your pout.

“What is?” you heard Chan ask from behind you.

From the corner of your eye, you glared at Seungmin for a second, a scared expression on your face, before turning around with an awkward smile.

“Nothing, we were just gossiping,” explained your Ravenclaw friend, saving you from embarrassing yourself.

“Okay, I feel like you’re hiding something from me but I’ll let it pass for now.”

“Thank you,” you breathed then got up. “I have transfiguration homework to do, bye guys.” You literally ran to your room without looking back to avoid any further questions.

“Is everything okay?” you heard Chan ask but didn’t stay to listen to the rest.

“Yeah, so when are you going to confess?”

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

The whole week you were thinking about the study date and when it was time to go, you were a bit nervous, but excited.

When you entered the Three Broomsticks, your eyes wandered around looking for your best friend. You found him upstairs in a corner, two mugs of butterbeer in front of him. His dimples showed when he smiled at you and your heart melted. It was one of the things that made you really happy. You joined him and started working.

“I spent a really good time with you today. Thank you for helping me with this particularly hard silencing charm. And sorry for practicing on you.”

“It was with pleasure, Y/N. Thank you for your help on my transfiguration homework. I couldn’t see the end of the parchment last night.”

“You want to do this again?”

“I would love to.”

“What about the same day, same time, same table if not already taken?”

“Okay,” he agreed, finishing his butterbeer. His heart was fluttering, he won more alone time with you, like you weren’t already inseparable.

On a table, not far, Felix and Seungmin were talking about the two lovebirds.

“How many months before one of them confesses?”

“It’ll be done by the Christmas holidays. I hope,” Seungmin sighed, sipping his mug of butterbeer.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

And so, every saturday you practiced Quidditch and every sunday you studied at the Three Broomsticks. It was your routine for a few weeks, until the first match opposing Gryffindor to Slytherin, the second weekend of november.

The whole school was present for it, especially your friends in the front row, hyping the hell out of both teams. Jangjun and Felix were the commentators and you were expecting funny comments from them.

Everyone was in good condition and was excited for their first match of the season. The Slytherin team was constituted of the best Slytherin players and Soyeon was a good captain. You weren’t very close but she had helped you before for your Wiggenweld potion the year before, which made you earn an O, so you were grateful.

The teams greeted each other and you talked a bit with Yugyeom, Jeongguk and Changbin. The latter was one of your closest friends so even if you were currently rivals, you gave him a warm hug and wished him good luck.

“Alright, is everybody ready?” asked the referee.

A whole cheer answered back and all the players went into the air. You flew above the referee to be the first to catch the quaffle.

“One, two… THREE. LET’S START,” she shouted before releasing the bludgers and the snitch then throwing the quaffle into the air.

“From the outset, Y/N is taking the quaffle and is going for that goal,” Jangjun commented into the mic.

“They’re flying majestically,” added Felix.

“Mister Lee, please,” scolded the professor next to him.

He apologized and continued, “Y/N gives the quaffle to Lisa, who’s making a sloth grip roll to avoid a bludger sent by Yugyeom!”

“She’s giving the quaffle to Hyunjin and he’s close to the goal. He’s about to strike, San is getting ready and- HE SCORES!”

“Ten-Zero for Gryffindor!” shouted Jangjun excitedly.

About three hours after the beginning of the match, no injuries were to be deplored. Mark was about to catch the snitch but Jeongguk blocked him and Changbin caught it right after. Even with their final effort, Gryffindor won the game. The final score was very close: 240-230.

The team was celebrating with a few friends at the Three Broomsticks after a well-deserved long and hot shower. There were a total of eighteen people gathered around two tables. Engorgement charm had been used on the mugs of butterbeer, unbeknownst of Madam Rosmerta —and she better not know for all of your sakes.

A few hours after the little party, where you all had a very good time, exchanging anecdotes about everyone’s school experience, you went back to school.

On the way, Chan and you were glued to each other like always. Everyone could see the love you had for each other but you.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

Two weeks after the second Quidditch match opposing Hufflepuff to Ravenclaw, Seungmin, Hyunjin, Felix and Jeongin gathered in the Room of Requirement to talk about you and Chan while you were both studying at the Three Broomsticks like every sunday.

“We really have to do something to help them. I refuse to see them spend the Yule ball with anyone else,” said Seungmin in a serious tone.

“Or worse: alone,” added Jeongin.

“They’re never going to confess on their own, they’re too afraid to lose each other,” sighed Hyunjin.

“We can help them with that, right?” asked Felix.

“Right. I have an unerring plan,” smirked Seungmin.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

And so the next friday, as you were walking to your next class, a note flew out of nowhere on your charms book saying “meet me in the room of requirement at 7 tonight. chan xx”.

You stared at the note for a whole minute. Lisa had to pull you by the arm to avoid a collision with a running group of first years.

“What’s happening?” inquired Lisa with a raised eyebrow.

“Uh, nothing, I’m seeing Chan tonight.”

“You see Chan everyday. Why are you blushing so hard? Did he ask you out?” She jumped around you excitedly.

Instead of answering her, because you didn’t know exactly what he wanted to tell you, you showed her the note.

“Oh my, this is so cool. If you need help with anything, let me know before it’s too late.” She fled away and you followed her.

“Wait, what is that supposed to mean?”

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

Meanwhile, Chan was seated on a low wall with Bambam when the note deposited itself on his hand while he was talking. He stopped himself to read “meet me in the room of requirement at 7 tonight. y/n xx”.

Bambam read it over his shoulder and nudged his friend.

“Tell me you’re going to go.”

“Did I ever ditch on my best friend?”

“Best friend,” he repeated mockingly, “you better dress well for the occasion.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dude, you’re unbelievable,” Bambam face palmed.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

Jeongin was hiding near the door and no one could see him. He was there to make sure you and Chan would enter while everything your friends worked hard for was still present.

Chan was the first to enter the Room of Requirement. He was surprised and amazed by the sight. Birds were flying, candles and flowers were levitating and a table at the center of the room was filled with yours and Chan’s favorite food.

Soon after, you entered the room, looking outside as you closed the door.

“Hey Chan— wow.”

You took the sight in as well. A particular light made your face shine and Chan could swear he fell in love with you once again. Your eyes laid on him and you smiled.

“What did you want to talk about?” you asked, gulping loudly.

“I received a note from you, don’t you have something to say to me?” he raised an eyebrow.

“I received a note from you too, though.”

You watched his reaction, being yourself confused. His smile faded a bit and you worried.

“I see there’s our favorite food, want to eat? I’m starving,” you proposed.

“Sure.”

He sat in front of you but didn’t lay his eyes on the food since you entered. That was the moment Jeongin chose to discreetly leave to join his friends in the Great Hall.

“So, if you didn’t send that note and I didn’t either, who do you think made all of this?” you asked.

“Probably Seungmin. I think the flowers come from him.”

“I agree. I recognize ambrosia, linaria bipartita, red rose and red, pink, orange tulip,” you enumerated, looking around.

“It’s crazy how you can recognize so many flowers.” Once again, he was impressed by you.

“I simply love Herbology. Felix surely helped by asking the elves to cook all this delicious food.”

“I think he and Hyunjin used the levitation charm and the avifors spell.”

“And someone had to stay here until one of us got in. I bet they made Jeongin do it.”

“They did so much, it’s really cool. Hey, look at the birds!” you exclaimed.

They were forming a big heart while flying. How romantic! It suddenly made you realize the meaning behind the flowers and you looked down at Chan. He looked at you at the same time and you stared at each other for a rather long time. You began to speak at the same time as well. Damn synchronization.

“Chan—”

“Y/N—”

“You first.”

“No, you.”

“Okay, I know the meaning behind the flowers.”

“Oh?” he seemed interested to have your insight on them. Truthfully, he was interested in anything you had to say.

“So,” you took a deep breath, “pink tulips mean caring, good wishes, friendship, joyful occasions and confidence. The orange one means understanding, appreciation and truest love. After that, it’s…”

“It’s what?”

“Ahem. Linaria bipartita means… please notice my feelings for you.”

Chan widened his eyes. Was it going to happen through flowers symbolism?

“Red tulip means undying love, passion and perfect love and ambrosia means reciprocated love.”

“Looks like Seungmin knows us too much. I love you.”

“I love you too, Chan.”

“You have no idea how happy I am right now, hearing you say that.” If his red ears and dimpled smile were any indication.

“I love you, I love you, I love you so much Chan, I’ve loved you for so long now,” you chanted, taking his hands in yours over the table.

“Me too. Would you want to go to the Yule Ball with me?”

“Of course I would!”

You both got up at the same time and you hugged tightly. Oh how happy you were at this moment, in your lover’s arms with birds chanting your names… Wait.

“Do you hear what I hear?”

“Yes…”

You looked at the birds. It wasn’t unpleasant to hear. Felix and Jeongin must have taken a lot of their time to teach them so much.

The elves worked hard to make the food and it would be a shame to leave it there. You had a wonderful date that night.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

The night of the Yule Ball, after dancing for two whole hours non-stop with your friends, you went outside to breathe. Chan followed you and put his hand on your waist.

“You look stunning,” he said into your ear.

You turned to him and kissed his lips.

“So are you.”

thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, please let me know <3 and here's the masterlist!

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daemour · 1 year ago

Text

[07.54] Kim Yugyeom

pairing: yugyeom x reader

wc: 452

warnings: none

genre: fluff, established relationship

so many morning timestamps lmaoo sorry one of these days it'll be a different time hehe

happy late birthday yugyeom!! unfortunately ur birthday is over the holidays so i got busy

When you awake, you are met with Yugyeom’s serene face. Your breath hitches as his breath brushes your cheek gently. You can’t help but smile at your boyfriend, your hand coming up and brushing against his jawline. Now that he was on break from work, he had gained a little bit of weight and you found it extremely endearing, the way he filled out and softened his edges and glowed healthily. He is soft but even softer in his sleep, and you can feel your heart swell and you lean over to plant a quick, sweet kiss on the apple of his cheek.

Yugyeom shifts slightly in his sleep, his face moving closer and lodging his nose in your collarbone. You giggle at that, his breath tickling your shoulder, but lean your head to the side, pressing even more kisses to his temple. “Morning?” he asks in a rough voice, confused at the sudden affection you are showering upon him.

“Good morning,” you giggle, pressing a kiss to his lips. Although he’s still half-asleep, he returns it, throwing his arm around your waist lazily and bringing you closer.

“It’s too early to be up,” he groans and you laugh. “It’s my off day, let me sleep.”

His whining tone only serves to make your smile grow even fonder and you press another kiss to the tip of his nose. “You’re sweet,” you hum, shifting to let your hands cup his face and offer him more kisses. “I’m happy I get to be with you.”

Yugyeom’s eyes blink open, a little more awake now as his lips pull into a sweet smile. “I’m glad too, babe, but what’s up with you? You’re super lovey-dovey today.”

You shrug the best you can with his arms around you and your arms around him. “I’m just feeling very fond of you today,” you say, kissing him once again. “I don’t know why, I just woke up and wanted to give you some love.”

Yugyeom hums, his eyes fluttering close as you kiss him again and again, peppering it all over his face. “I love you,” he murmurs, brain falling back asleep and your heart blooms at the sight. “Let’s get married.”

He clearly didn’t register his words quite yet, falling back asleep so quickly, leaving you to stare at your lover in disbelief. Not negative, of course, just unexpected. You loved him, and you know he loved you, but you weren’t sure if marriage would ever be on the table for you two. With your smile growing soft, you press a kiss to his forehead and cuddle up next to him once more.

“Let’s,” you whisper into his hair, a promise full of hope and love.

#kvanity #wkcnet #got7 #got7 fanfiction #got7 fanfic #got7 drabble #got7 timestamps #got7 x reader #got7 yugyeom #yugyeom fanfiction #yugyeom fanfic #yugyeom drabble #yugyeom timestamp #fluff #got7 fluff #yugyeom fluff #got7writerscollective

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nirvanawrites111 · 2 years ago

Text

Masterlist

Hiii I'm a neurospicy heaux (90's baby) who enjoys writing K-pop fanfics.

You can call me Nirvana.

My pronouns are she/her.

I write mostly sub!Idol x dom!readers but I will be starting a new series where my one-shots are two parts radiating switch!energy.

My stories are all written with a black reader in mind.

All of my stories belong to me and you may not copy any of them. Nor, can you translate them into other languages. Thanks!!!

If you enjoy my work please comment and reblog, please. It keeps me going.

KIM YUGYEOM

Focus On Me

Choi Minho

DILF Energy (Sub!Minho x Reader)

Lee Know

Claim Me (Sub!Lee Know x Reader)

Kim Jongin/Kai

Say You Love Me (Sub!Kai x Reader)

Say You Love Me Pt. 2

Goddess Energy (Taemin x Reader x Jongin) Part 1

Hongjoong

May I Have Your Attention Series

May I Have Your Attention Please? (Sub!Hongjoong x Reader)

May I Have Your Attention Please? Pt. 2

May I Have Your Attention Please? Pt. 3

May I Have Your Attention Please? Pt. 4

Here We Go Again Bangchan x Reader x Hongjoong (Kinktober 2022 Vampire AU)

Lust Galore (Seonghwa x Reader x Hongjoong)

Sub!Hongjoong x Switch!Reader x Dom!Changbin

Taemin

Falling For The Dark Lord (Sub!Taemin x Afab!Reader)

Wedding Secrets (Sub!Taemin x Reader)

Escape With You (Sub!Taemin x Reader)

Chase Me Sub!Taemin x Reader (Kinktober 2022)

Escape With You Pt. 2

Arch That Back, Baby (Sub!Taemin x Reader)

Play Things (Taemin x Reader x Jimin)

Supreme King (Taemin x Black Reader)

Goddess Energy (Taemin x Reader x Jongin) Part 1

Seonghwa

Bend It Ova Sub!Seonghwa x Reader

Only One (Seonghwa x Black Reader)

Enemy Situation (Seonghwa x Black Reader)

Lust Galore (Seonghwa x Reader x Hongjoong)

Ten Lee

Amnesia (Sub!Ten Lee x Reader)

Changbin

Boyfriend #2 Changbin x Reader

I'm Calling You Daddy (Sub!Changbin x Reader)

Switch It Up (Sub!Changbin x Reader)

Switch It Up Part 2

Sub!Hongjoong x Switch!Reader x Dom!Changbin

Juyeon

Juicy Lover Series (Sub!Juyeon x Reader)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Wooyoung

My Right Hand Man Series (Sub!Wooyoung x Reader)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Welcome To The Agency (San x Reader x Wooyoung)

Bangchan

Here We Go Again Bangchan x Reader x Hongjoong (Kinktober 2022 Vampire AU)

Yunho

February Filth Fest (Hate sex with Yunho)

San

Welcome To The Agency (San x Reader x Wooyoung)

Park Jinyoung

Degrade Me Part 1

Degrade Me Part 2

Jimin

Play Things (Taemin x Reader x Jimin)

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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year ago

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kpop masterlist

🍓 = fluff themes

❄️ = angst themes

🚧 = smut themes

🤸‍♀️ = slice of life / bish idek what theme this is

🚀 = crack fic themes

🎩 = dark and/or violent themes

🏩 = genre fic, i.e. mystery, horror, fantasy, etc

🍳 = slow burn

🦕 = personal favorite

back to main masterlist

A.C.E.

Memory | 🍓❄️🦕 Kim Byeongkwan x Reader + Park Junhee x Reader (University AU) [Blurb]

Ateez

Only One | 🍓❄️❄️❄️🍳🦕 CEO!Choi San x Reader

BigBang

It’s An Act [WBU I] | ❄️ Choi Seunghyun (TOP) x Reader

Smoke | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Choi Seunghyun (TOP) x Reader

BTS

Runaway | 🍓❄️🏩 Mafia!Kim Seokjin (Jin) x Reader (Mafia AU) Preview 1 2 3 4 x

Mah Boyfriend | 🍓🍓🤸‍♀️🦕 Jung Jungkook x Idol!Reader

BTOB

Hidden Heart | 🍓🍓🍓🤸‍♀️🚀🍳 Lee Minhyuk (HUTA) x Idol!Reader [Headcanon]

Day6

A University Dilemma | 🤸‍♀️ Kang Younghyun (Young-K) x Reader (Univeristy AU)

What A Joke | ❄️ Kang Younghyun (Young K) x Reader + Park Jaehyung x Reader (University AU) [Blurb]

So... Haha... I Like You | 🍓🦕 Park Jaehyung x Reader (Fake Dating AU)

EXO

Wheel Of Fortune | 🍓🍳🚀 Park Chanyeol x Reader [Headcanon]

Welcome To The Jungle | 🚀🚀🚀🏩 Park Chanyeol & Oh Sehun (Jungle AU)

Maybe We Still Have A Shot [WBU III] | 🍓🍓🏩 CatHybid!Oh Sehun x Reader (University AU)

Unrequited Attraction | 🚧🏩🍳🦕 Mafia!Kim Jongdae (Chen) x Retail Worker!Reader

Color Palette | 🍓 Byun Baekhyun x Reader [Blurb]

Brown Leaves | 🍓 Kim Jongin (Kai) x Reader (University AU)

GOT7

One Million In One Day | 🍓🍓❄️❄️🍳 Sugar Daddy!Jackson Wang x Reader Preview ~ Alternate Moodboard ~ Moodboard Teaser 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Car Rides | 🍓 Jackson Wang x Reader [Blurb]

Juice Box | 🍓🚀🏩🦕 Kunpimook Bhuwakul Bambam x Reader [Blurb] (Pre-Schooler AU)

Somewhere In Between | ❄️❄️Civil Engineer!Park Jinyoung x Reader + Architect!Henry Lau x Reader

Trading Secrets | 🍓🍓 Kim Yugyeom x WangSis!Reader

JYJ

Winning Losses | ❄️ Kim Jaejoong x Idol!Reader

Monsta X

Introspect | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Lee Jooheon x Reader [Blurb]

Letting Off Steam | 🤸‍♀️ Lee Hoseok (Wonho) x ArtStudent!Reader (University AU)

NCT

Seventeen

December Dates | 🍓🚀 bf!Seventeen x Reader [Headcanon]

The Stroke Of Midnight | 🍓❄️🏩🦕 Mafia!Kwon Soonyoung (Hoshi) x Reader

Here's My Problem: I Can't Get You Out Of My Head | ❄️❄️❄️🎩🎩🎩🏩🍳🦕 Detective!Jeon Wonwoo x Actress!Reader

10 Ways To Get Over Gyu | 🍓❄️❄️❄️🍳🍳🦕 Kim Mingyu x Reader + others (Childhood AU)

Half Of My Heart | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️🍳 Kim Mingyu x Reader + Jeon Wonwoo x Reader (CEO AU)

On A Thread | ❄️❄️ CEO!Joshua Hong (Hong Jisoo) x Nurse!Reader

SF9

A Final Offering | 🍓🍓❄️��🦕 Deity!Kim Inseong & Child!Reader + Baek Juho (Zuho) x Mom

What Does It Mean? | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️ Kim Inseong x Reader + Lee Jaeyoon x Reader (University AU)

16th Floor | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Kim Seokwoo (Rowoon) x Reader (Office AU)

SHINee

Understand This |❄️ Choi Minho x Reader I Don’t Understand [Understand This II] | ❄️ Choi Minho x Reader

It’s All A Big Joke [WBU II] | ❄️ Lee Taemin x Reader

Th-that’s Not | ❄️❄️🚧🦕 Lee Taemin x Reader Regrets [Th-that’s Not II] | ❄️ Lee Taemin x Reader

Angel Bride | ❄️🚧🏩🦕 Pirate!Lee Taemin x Reader

Noona, You're So Pretty | 🍓 Lee Taemin x Noona!Reader

Stray Kids

Professional Boundaries | 🍓❄️🚧🦕 CEO!Bang Chan x Pre-School Teacher!Reader + CEO!Hwang Hyunjin x Pre-School Teacher!Reader 1 2 3 4

Bootylicious | 🍓🚀 Bang Chan x Idol!Reader

Super Junior

The Soup | 🍓🍓🚀🚀 SuJu x SuJu Maknae!Reader [Headcanon]

Secrets Of A Maknae | 🍓🚀🚀 Kim Heechul x SuJuMaknae!Reader

The Boyz

Gentle With Me | 🍓🍓🤸‍♀️ Lee Sangyeon x Reader

TVXQ!

Pitter-Patter | 🍓 Jung Yunho (U-Know) x Reader (Pre-School Teacher AU)

The Art Of Deception | ❄️🎩🏩 Shim Changmin x Reader (Secret Agent/Spy AU)

TXT

Forget About It | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️🍳🦕 Choi Soobin x Reader (University AU)

WINNER

I’m Not Playing | 🍓❄️❄️ Gangster!Song Minho (Mino) x Reader 1 2 3

#masterlist #kpop masterlist

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onewmin · 1 year ago

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the perfume on the shelf. pt. 12 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, Minors dni, smut, mentions of suggestive themes, an unhealthy amount of Taylor Swift references, another episode of dumbassery of these two clowns, profanity, some personal growth (i guess????); typos

Word count: around 7000 (im sorry 💀)

Author’s note: ugh, well... It is what it is. Hope you don't hate me <3 Enjoy the chapter! (this is NOT the end of the deries, btw) Tell me what you think! I'm always hoping for a feedback :)

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 11 | Part 13

“Do you like that?”

Nodding absentmindedly, Chan furrowed his brows at the shivering sensations of Micha bouncing up and down his cock. His fingers were leaving crescent marks on her hips; Chan hissed at her digging her nails in his chest. Squeezing his eyes shut, he held onto her for dear life - just to get that final, luscious release he’s been craving lately.

Another moan left her lips as she sank down his length; Chan, on the other hand, was trying his best to ignore the sounds she’s been making. Because with every sigh of hers, with every whimper that left her mouth the only thing Chris could think about was you. The sounds you were making when in bed with him; the way your long nails dug in his shoulders when he would thrust into you as deeply as it was possible; your silky skin under his fingers when you’d cling onto him, coming back from your high. Every moan of Micha’s was replaced by your soft voice and fucked-out smile whenever he would caress you cheek.

Chan shook his head; and when he opened his eyes, you weren’t there. But Micha was. She was everything he could’ve ever asked for - however, she was still not enough. Her long blonde hair, styled differently every day, her toned body - as if she’d trained along with him; her sweet love and caring persona, their difference in height, her wearing the ‘feminine’ style Chan absolutely loved - all of it seems to be a dream come to true for him, right? She reasoned with him just the right amount - without turning it into a full-blown aggressive pillow fight; she was on board with giving him space, she was… Right for him. If ‘right’ meant being as unhappy as he was, he probably has made a wrong choice.

The water in the shower ran as Chan stood on the balcony of his apartment. Wearing nothing but his pajama pants, he shivered under a rather chilly early morning wind. 2 AM. Micha came over three hours ago, right after they left the club together. Endless partying, new people, bonding over alcohol and making fun of their exes, Chan felt a tingling in his chest every time his mind would wander to the thoughts of you. No amount of liquor could wash away the handprints you left on his soul; it seemed as though you traced your fingers all over his skin and all over his insides, his ribs, his heart.

Every time he brooded over the relationship you shared, Chan couldn’t come to a proper conclusion of what he was supposed to do. Was he supposed to run after you, chase the dream of the woman he loved even after you threw him away? Well, it's the other way round, actually, but it didn’t really change much: you were far away physically now. Emotionally though, you’d been distant for way longer; was it his fault? It certainly was - it’s not like you were absolutely innocent in this mess, but less at fault than him. It took Chan several months and a new, rotting relationship to realize it.

Micha’s warm arms wrapped around his torso, pulling Chan from his endless reflection on the poor choices he’s ever made. “Let’s go to bed”, she murmured; her cheek was resting on his back, and Chan sighed, hands still gripping the railings.

“Micha”, he uttered, “d’you love me?”

She frowned. “We’ve only been back together four months. It’s too early to…Say something like that”.

Chan chuckled, gently getting her arms off his body. He sat down on the chair and continued staring at the city lights; no matter how much he loved Melbourne, it didn’t feel like home anymore. It seemed as an exile, a place he was sent off to reminisce about his past, perfect life. An exile without the love of his life.

“‘Cause I don’t think I do”, he muttered, chin resting on the palm of his hand. Micha sat down oppositely and took another hand of his in hers.

“Again, it’s been too little time”, to Chris, the softness in her voice sounded like poison - as if he’d willingly drank a bottle of toxins to erase the tiniest memory of the love he lost. “‘T’s too early to know for sure”.

“You think so?” He looked at her for the first time in the last few minutes. Micha nodded, giving him a small smile.

“We can still work it out”, she stood up and took a couple of steps to go back inside, “unless”, she stopped to turn her head to look at him, “it’s something that you want with me”.

Chan’s eyes darted from the balcony door to the city in desperate attempts of holding back tears; with her, with Micha? What does he even want from her? Chan has absolutely zero clue now. She’s a wonderful person, a beautiful woman, who seems to have affection towards him for some reason, and Chan? He only uses her to forget, to bury himself so deep in her that he wouldn’t have to maniacally think about the other woman. The other woman he pushed away himself when the only thing she wanted was to give him love he’s been craving for so long. The love from her he’s been praying for, the love he’s been suppressing even after finally having her. But did he really have her? Did he really get the girl he’d dreamed of? The only thing he did was raiding her most sacred temple with his barbaric hands, tearing down her shrines of love - only to kick her out of her own sanctuary. He left it with emptiness as well, bringing out nothing but the last pieces of adoration she had left for him. How cruel of him to only realize it now.

Does he have any choice to get through? Can he just show up at your doorstep, bouquet of your favourite flowers in his hands? Will you accept his apologies? Will you take him back? That’s something he’s never tried; to apologize, to kneel in front of you, with a will to give you anything you ask for - just to get the slightest hint of forgiveness. Because if he spends another day with someone else sleeping next to him but you, Chan will go insane. It takes everything in him not to moan your name when making love to her; it takes everything not to call out your name when he comes home. The mere mirage of you follows him anywhere he goes, and it’s something he doesn’t want to fight anymore.

“Do you think about her?” Micha’s question hit him out of nowhere and Chan gulped, turning his face away from her. She sat up on the bed; her fingers touched his chin, bringing his gaze back to hers. “Don’t ignore me”.

Staring into the darkness, Chan let out a deep sigh, feeling helpless. “Does it matter?”

“It does. To me”. The slightest notes of hurt in her voice were hidden, but Chan was able to catch them; to realize Micha really started falling for him again, when he never reciprocated in the first place… Nothing. Chan didn’t feel the heavy weight of his consciousness dawn on him like it did before - nothing. Micha might’ve felt betrayed, but Chan couldn’t say he was able to care.

“I do. Satisfied?”

Micha sighed and looked away for a moment. “Why did you take me here then? Why not her? And cut the bullshit with the ‘fight’ you two had”, she interrupted him way before he was able to utter a word, “it could’ve been easily resolved in seconds”.

“‘Cause she’d never go”, Chan mumbled, “‘cause I’ve been an ass to her and she doesn’t trust me anymore”.

“But why would she never come with you?”

“Just ‘cause”, Chris shrugged his shoulders, “she’s not as spontaneous as you and I are”. Chan didn’t really want to discuss the perks of his relationship with Micha - she had a personal interest, after all. He turned to the right side, facing the open balcony; closing his eyes, he felt Micha’s arm wrap around his waist. Suppressing the desire to sigh, Chan let his body snuggle into hers, pressing his back to her chest; having at least some sort of comfort was not bad, after all.

“Did you dream about me?” A ticking whisper sent shivers down his spine; feeling your fingers run up and down his abs, Chris put on his best act not to show he was awake. Actually, he woke up ten minutes before you did - instead of getting up, he preferred to just lay there, your arms wrapped around his waist, fingers intertwined. But you, on the other hand… After whimpering and stretching, your hand was back on his body, whispering absolute atrocities in his ear.

“Was it a wet dream?” You said softly one more time before pinching skin on his forearm.

“Ouch!” Chris finally gave up on his act and turned to face you; knowing his revenge would’ve been instant, you already were out of the bed.

“I’ll hop in the shower!” Chan let out a laugh. You were not the one to indulge in morning sex easily - even though the two of you would do it sometimes, you whined about it almost all the time. You hated the morning breath, the afternight sweat, the tiredness, the timing. Morning sex wasn’t your cup of tea, but, God, you loved winding him up; sometimes Chan thought you enjoyed spilling dirty words more than the sex itself.

Chan trudged from your bedroom to the kitchen; several minutes later, when he was sipping on the orange juice, he felt your arms wrap around his waist. “Morning”, you said, your chin resting on Chan’s shoulder.

“Morning”, he responded, a smile creeping up his face. “You slept well?” You hummed in response and left a kiss on the back of his neck; turning around to face you, he only saw your back as you stared at the open fridge. Delving in your figure, Chan drew his lower lip between his teeth as he watched his shirt shamelessly lift and expose your ass when you stretched your arms. Chan took a small step to leave a loud smack on your butt; yelping, you were caught in his arms, as he placed a kiss on your cheek.

“You asked ‘bout my dream”, he rasped in your ear, pressing your body further into his, “still wanna know what it was?” His hand toyed with the hem of your shirt, fingers running down to your closeted core. You let out a gasp.

“Not really”, your quiet answer made him furrow his brows, “if you tell, it’s gonna result in sex. Don’t really wanna have it now”, you turned around and gave him a smile. “D’you wanna have eggs for breakfast?”

Sitting on the floor, another episode of a reality show running on the TV, Chan and you chewed on the omelets and tomatoes, a favorite breakfast of yours. When you commented on yet another thing on TV, Chan stole glances of you - just to catch every little thing about you that he could. The way your eyes were squinting when you grinned, how you talked back to the people on TV if they did something stupid, the way your head fell back when you were frustrated.

“What the hell is wrong with these people?” You whined, putting the dishes in the sink. “Like why would you even consider gettin’ married after a week of datin’?” You turned on the water - the cold one, presumably - and got the sponge wet. Chan clicked his tongue and almost sprinted from his place in front of the TV to the kitchen space, taking the sponge away from you.

“Stop”, he almost growled, “I know you hate washin’ the dishes”. He turned on the hot water as well. “Y’know, there’s also one more type of water except for the cold one”, his remark earned him a slight smack on the shoulder. The both of you laughed it off, as you wiped the dishes (another chore you preferred to ignore).

“Thanks”, you uttered when he was done. Chan returned the smile and put his hands on your waist as your arms were wrapped around his neck. “Maybe I should hire you to clean up?”

Chris chuckled. “My price is too high for you”.

“Huh?” Her eyes gleamed. “How much is it?”

Too high, Chan thought, peering into her hazel orbs, my price is you, my price is you loving me back. Instead of saying what was needed to be said a long time ago, he shook his head and left a small kiss on your forehead. “Nothin’, forget it”, he squeezed your waist. “I’m just lucky to have you”, he muttered, “as my best friend”. The latter wasn’t supposed to be said, but seeing your startled expression when he said the first part of his sentence, he realised you weren’t ready for his confession, it was too early. Maybe later, maybe some time after-

“Stop”, you mumbled. Chan’s brows knitted as took in the expression on your face; you stared right back into his eyes, an ocean flooding yours. “Stop it. You’re losin’ me. It’s too late”.

A sudden gasp woke Chan up; as he sat on the bed out of the habit rather than a reflex, he pressed his hand to his chest, trying to even his breath. A dream of one of your mornings together ending in this? That’s not what you said back then; Chan frowned, his fingers massaging his forehead, but your exact words couldn’t come to mind. That’s not what you said, he’s sure of it!

Burying his face in his hands, Chan took a deep breath and let it out. How come a dream of you turned into a nightmare? How come even in his dreams he has to see you cry? How come he can never find peace, not even asleep? How come you’re the only thing on his mind, even after all of these months?

“You’re okay?” Micha uttered. “What time is it?”

“Dunno”, Chan snarled, “go back to sleep”.

He stood up and walked to the living room - just to avoid Micha for a couple of minutes. He didn’t want to answer her questions nor wanted to speak at all - his mind wasn’t just there yet. As he sat on the couch, a phone in his hands, the time didn’t even surprise him - he slept only for two hours.

Scrolling down the news, his search brought him back to the fire that happened four months ago. Even after all this time Chan still couldn’t be at peace with the thought of you being with Yugyeom that night. It was him, Chan, who was supposed to be there, to help you, to save you, to comfort you - him, not Yugyeom! Why would he even show up again? Was he… No, Chan refused to believe that. Yet still, he blamed you for holding onto your first love - maybe he wasn’t wrong after all. Or perhaps, he should’ve given you the opportunity to explain everything? Maybe if he did, he wouldn’t have been as miserable as he was now. There would be no pain, no leading Micha on for something he couldn’t even give her, no exile.

What was it that you said in that dream? ‘You’re losing me, it’s too late’? But how can it be so? How?

“Not ‘you lost me’”, Chan murmured staring into the wall, “but ‘You’re losin’ me’”. What if he still has a chance to mend the two of you? What could stop him but his irritating pride?

Chris didn’t need much time to think about his next actions - so, in mere minutes he was browsing the airline website, getting the tickets on the nearest date - which convenietly happened to be today. If it doesn’t work out, his parents were in Seoul, Minho was there - so he would find a way to kill time before going back to Melbourne, right? Right?

Chan let out a sigh, leaning in the soft cushions. It feels like his last chance to chase the train that has just left the station. It left, but Chan is still running, he’s still screaming for it to stop ‘cause he’s sure he’ll get in. Maybe they just don’t hear him? Maybe they didn’t know he was late? They’d stop if they found that out, right? Right? Nevertheless, Chan’s still running, even if the train doesn’t want him to be its passenger.

Looking at the white ceiling, Chan questioned whether you’d want to see him. What if you slam the door right in front of him? “Whatever”, he turned on a random video on his phone, “I’ll get through. I know she feels the same way, I know it’s not gone. I know it”.

Micha was gone at 5 AM; as soon as the door was closed, Chan rushed to his closet to collect the best of his clothes, the ones you loved seeing him in, some new items he knew you’d steal from him - he wanted to look his absolute greatest in front of you. After all, the two of you didn't see each other for how long? Almost six months? More?

Chan wondered if you’d changed much, wondered if you’d kick him out or welcome him back with open arms. And as his suitcase was packed in less than twenty minutes, he sat back on the bed, staring at his phone. He booked the nearest flight - which was in two hours - and now was waiting for his cab. A whole ass journey from Melbourne to Sydney and from Sydney to Seoul – all for just an attempt at mending things. Perhaps, he should’ve done that earlier, so that he wouldn’t have to spend more than twelve hours on the road just for the possibility of having a crumb of your forgiveness. Although, was he even able to apologize?

Another flow of thoughts guided Chan through his first flight to Sydney; with a mask on his face and a cap on his head, Chris was almost unrecognizable. Besides, no one had the slightest idea of his whereabouts — just a few hours ago, while sitting at the airport, he posted a story of himself, marking Melbourne as the place where he was currently. No messages from Han or Felix or Micha; today was supposed to be his day off, so it was quite convenient no one had reached out to him. Yeah right. Why would they when the only thing he does is push everyone away? Felix, his childhood friend, even expressed to him he couldn’t recognise Chan anymore. Maybe it was for the best; after all, everyone grows up and changes their personality, right? “Nah, that’s not quite it”, Felix observed his friend’s face attentively, “it’s like you’re less…you. Feels as if something’s twisted your brain”. What would Felix know anyway, right? Right?

Three hours passed before his flight to Seoul took off; when taking his place near the plane window and putting his seatbelt on, Chan’s phone started buzzing. Oh shit, the manager-agent might be furious.

“Where are you?” Jisung’s voice was surprisingly calm.

“Where are you?” Chan responded. Attacking is the best form of defense, after all.

“I’m at your place”, he responded, “you didn't open the door, so I got in myself. You’re gonna be home soon?”

“Why?” Chris stared at another airplane in the distance. “Missing me already?”

Han clicked his tongue and let out a frustrated sigh. “You’re not my type, Bang”. After chewing on something - is this fucker eating my food? - he continued. “So, when are you coming back? I have a business proposal to discuss”.

“What’s that?”

Another sigh left Jisung’s mouth. “I hate when you do that”.

“To put it shortly, that LA label we’ve talked about a couple of weeks ago”, Han chewed on the food again, “they wanna meet up. If you ask me”, he kept on talking - leaving no chance for Chan to even utter a word, “I’d say we should go. Maybe you’ll be able to get out-” He stuttered for a moment. “I mean, you’ll have more opportunities. And a better contract, I presume. And less control”.

“When do they wanna meet up with us?” Chan twisted a ring on his finger absentmindedly.

“At the end of the week. Saturday afternoon”. Han plopped on the couch. “Tell me when you’re gonna be back and I’ll prepare a whole ass presentation for you”.

Now it was Chan’s turn to sigh. He’ll surely be back till Saturday, right? “Actually, Han, I-” His voice suddenly became small, weak even. Jisung will kill him if Chris misses this lifetime opportunity because of a girl. “I’m on the plane to Seoul”.

Silence. Chan couldn’t even hear the sound of Han’s breathing, the chewing abruptly stopped. The only thing Chris could feel was the wave of anxiety that was rising from his stomach up to his throat. Perhaps, he was making a huge mistake; his career was about to bloom on an absolutely different level and what was he doing? Running back to someone who couldn’t even unblock him to hear his side to all of it?

“I have no words, Chan”, Han’s voice had anything but the regular shrill tone to it. “After half a year you decided now was a good time to mend things?” Chris didn’t respond. Because he couldn’t; he didn’t even know what to say. “I appreciate your, um, your determination”, for some reason, Jisung was very careful with his words - or was he just being soft ‘cause it was a painful topic for his friend? “But the two of you haven’t even talked to each other for six months. You stalking her through my account doesn’t count”.

Jisung was a voice of reason; both of you didn’t even exchange a greeting in the past six months. Why did he think you’d be open to speaking to him? Why would you even open the door when you’d see his face? What if you and Yugyeom are already a couple? What if…

“I get your concerns, Han”, Chan spoke in a low voice, “trust me, I do. And I’ve had doubts too, but-” He chewed on his lower lip, “I have to try. Maybe that’s what she’s waiting for. Maybe she’s waiting for me to come back”.

Han huffed. “You’re a delusional idiot”. He drew in a breath. “Anyway, hope you mend whatever needs to be mended. Come back till Saturday”. Jisung was ready to hang up but continued. “Y’know, I get it. The love of my life did the same number on me as you did on her. And I was the one who waited for the… For the apology, a text, a letter - anything. Never received a word.” He chuckled. “Good luck, man”.

An elderly woman sat up next to him as Chan stared at the screen of his phone. Han was not the one to share the intimate details of his life; however, this felt more like a possible outcome rather than a warning. If everything works out in his favor, Chan will get the girl and a new career break. Everything seemed like his ideal world turned into reality. Well, the reality was not there yet; but Han didn’t call him delusional for nothing.

It was snowing heavily when Chan stepped out of the airport.

He jumped in the cab, rushing to his apartment; it was almost 8 PM, but he wanted to see you today. Having taken a quick shower and put on his sweater and jeans, Chan texted Minho. ‘Hey man, you’re at ur studio tonight?’

Lee Know responded almost immediately. ‘Hey, Hyunjin and I are having one more dance class before closing. Why’d you ask?’

‘Just ‘cause. Wanted to talk’. Chan typed.

‘Yeah, I’ll be free for around forty minutes then. I’m picking up Eunjoo after her art class’.

‘Is she going there alone?’

‘Stfu. It’s not Eunjoo you wanna know ‘bout’.

‘Man, please. Just tell me’.

Chan could physically feel Minho sigh, shake his head and then smack his shoulder. ‘Kay. She’s there too. They finish at 9, but they planned to wait for me at the coffee shop nearby’. He texted an address immediately.

‘Thank you, Minho’.

‘Fuck off, pls. I’m tired of watching this drama”.

“Hey, everything’s okay?” You asked Eunjoo as the two of you were sharing a late-evening dessert; the art class you’ve been attending lately was exciting, but exhausting at the same time. And after each class of painting and drawing, the two of you tended to get yourselves a nice little sugary treat.

She went silent for a moment as she looked at the message on her phone. “Yup, fine”, she gave you a small smile as she shoved her phone back in her purse, “Minho’s running a bit late”.

“Ah, I should’ve taken my car”, you leaned in the chair, “we would’ve been home already”.

“Don’t worry about it”, she took a bite of a pumpkin pie, “he promised to get us some junk food”. You put your chin on your hand and glanced at the ceiling dreamily; your desire to eat something greasy and fattening almost made you drool.

“How’s your training going?” Eunjoo took a sip of her tea.

“It’s good”, you nodded, “my new personal trainer is amazing. Did I tell you she’s a former stuntwoman?”

“No way!” Eunjoo’s eyes gleamed with excitement. Even though she looked happy, you couldn't help but notice that something's shifted after that text from Minho. Was she hiding something from you?

“Yeah, I was surprised too!” You continued. “Anyways… She put me on a pretty strict diet”. You sighed.

“By ‘strict’ you mean no McDonald’s?” Your friend laughed. You clicked your tongue and crossed your arms at your chest. “C’mon, it’s good for your health, you know it. Your internal organs have been begging for vegetables when you were feeding them french fries”.

“You’re insufferable”, you rolled your eyes. Eunjoo laughed at you one more time before letting out a breathy sigh.

“I can’t”, she uttered, “I can’t not tell you”.

“What d’you mean?” You took notice of her fidgeting in her seat and twisting her earrings nervously, as she always did when filled with doubt and anxiety.

“Chan’s here”, she said in a low voice, “and he’s coming to the cafe to see you”.

You felt your temples pulsating instantly - the first sign of a headache creeping in. The mere mention of his name brought you a whirlpool of jitteriness - your heart was still not at its place when you thought of him. But it was more of a… It was more because of painful memories of what could’ve been, of what should've been there if the two of you weren’t absolute assholes to each other. However, now, no matter how much you didn’t want to see him, no matter how much you distanced yourself from even thinking of him as often as you used to, he decided to impose himself on your almost stable state of mind. It’s his signature mark - to take away the opportunity to heal and speak from you. You’re almost healed. You’re almost fine. You’re going on dates, seeing new people, hanging out with Yugyeom without feeling guilty about it. You have a new life. You’re almost at the top without him, and he wants to see you? To speak?

“If you wanna run away, I won’t tell him”, she whispered, covering your hand with the palm of hers, “I don’t want you to see him either”.

It’s a whirlwind of events. One moment you’re sitting in your favourite cafe with your favourite person, and now you’re putting your coat on, grabbing your purse and almost flying from that same cafe just to escape the inevitable? As the door behind you close, you stop yourself from moving.

Yeah, seeing him will be hurtful, there’s no doubt in it. His silky voice and empty promises might lead you astray, sweeping all of your healing under the rug. Guess, his soft hands, intertwined with yours, might make you reconsider moving on. His curly hair and sweet smile might make you forget every small step you’ve taken to get over him in the past six months. It might happen, you were sure; but you were not a coward anymore. At least, you tried to be braver, bolder in your decisions; so you were not going to run away just because it might hurt you. You’d let it do so. You’d allow all of it to hurt you but only if it meant that this would be the last time it brought you pain.

So you took the straps of your purse in your hands, fingers clutching them. You walked a bit further, into the alley in front of the cafe and sat down on the snowy bench. The air was cold; you regretted not wearing a winter hat. You wrapped your scarf around your neck twice to create a feeling of warmness, only foaming your glasses instead. The snow was slowly falling on your hair, claiming you as one of its many winter princesses. You hated this season and this weather, and you hated being born in winter too - but tonight felt almost magical. Maybe it was because of your final acceptance of this mess, of your desire to endure as much pain now as you could to never feel it again; you felt a foreign tingling of relief in your chest. Maybe you will finally be free after tonight.

Your phone started buzzing out of nowhere; declining the caller through your smartwatch three times, you still had to pick up because he was simply irritating you. “What?” You almost barked at him.

“Hey, when’s your next date with this accountant guy?” Yugyeom sounded absolutely monotonous asking the question - as if you hadn’t just declined him three times in a row.

“The next date?” You were flabbergasted. “On Monday. Why?”

“D’you wanna set him up with this girl I’m seeing? I can’t do it anymore”.

“The PhD student girl? Why? Is she also only talking about her ex-boyfriend all the time?” He responded affirmatively; the accountant guy you were casually meeting up with was clearly not over his ex, as he kept on speaking about her with you. It was tiring, but you couldn’t brush him off for some reason; so Yugyeom’s plan might really help set you free.

And no matter how nervous you were, this conversation seemed to help you release some of the stress. Yugyeom and his brilliant ideas always helped. “What d’you wanna do?” You asked while leaning your head to the side; for some reason, the idea to squeeze the phone between the shoulder and your head wasn’t successful as the phone slipped and fell to the snowy ground. “Ah, shit”, you mumbled. “Gyeom, wait!” You said loudly, leaning forward and taking it back in your hands. “Thank God you’re working”, you muttered. The speaker turned on while it fell down but to Yugyeom, who had no idea, it didn’t matter as he proceeded to blabber on about his evil plan.

“We could hug a bit longer than needed”, he kept on as you tried to turn the speaker off, “maybe flirt with each other?” You could almost see him scratching his chin. Yeah, your phone was working, but the speaker wouldn’t turn off; it happened quite often lately, and you were sure it was the result of your phone being dropped too much in the course of two years of having it.

“In what way?” You uttered, simultaneously googling how to fix this random speaker problem.

“I don’t know”, he said sluggishly, “but I have an idea. I could just be like”, he cleared his throat, “you’re so sexy, babygirl. So sad you have a boyfriend. Wish you were mine”. His pretend husky voice could be just perfect if he didn’t let out a mewling sound at the end of the tirade. You giggled at his attempts to sound super masculine.

“But no kissing”, he warned.

You huffed. “Ew. As if”.

And as you wanted to add another word to the conversation, you saw something in the corner of your eye. Turning your head to the side, your gaze caught the bouquet of pink roses on the bench next to you. “Gyeom, I’ll call you back”. Shoving the phone in the pocket of your jeans, you stood up and turned around, only to see a painfully familiar figure slowly walk away.

“Chan?” He stopped in an instant. Your heart skipped a beat. No way it’s him. No way.

Having turned to face you, he gave you a lopsided grin almost immediately. “Sorry to interrupt your conversation with your boyfriend”.

“He’s not my-” You almost indulged in. Stopping yourself at the start of giving another set of excuses to him, you quickly ran through his previous sentence. The same poisonous tone of the voice, same spiteful expression worn on his face. It's been six months since the last time you saw him, and he still was angry with you. He still despised you.

“You didn’t come here to fight again, did you?” The tone of your voice suddenly obtained the notes of tiredness in it. If the only reason why he’s here is to quarrel with you all over again, all over the same shit - you were not going to stand and listen.

“Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m here”, he responded, arms crossed at his chest. “Thought we could mend things, but you clearly don’t need that”.

“How would you know?” You clenched your fists as you tried to calm yourself down; but the feeling of your nails digging into the soft flesh of your palms instantly flashed a memory of your last fight in your head. How you dug your nails deeper in your skin, leaving crescent marks, bleeding in front of him, swallowing his insults and hurtful words. You were not going to do it anymore. “How would you know?” You repeated the question louder. “”Cause you heard a piece of what you were not supposed to hear and drew a conclusion, based on something insignificant?”

“How else d’you want me to understand this?” He threw a hand in the air, pointing at you.

“How ‘bout fuckin’ askin’ me before jumping to conclusions?” Your voice was calm, you were collected. Last time your whole body was filled with anger and frustration, with pain you wanted to inflict on him. At the moment the only thing you wanted was peace.

“Askin’ you?” He chuckled. “Will you tell me the truth?”

“Chan”, you stated as softly as possible, “I don’t owe you the truth. As much as you don’t owe it to me”.

“Why am I even here then”, he mumbled, closing his eyes and sighing. “You clearly have moved on, so you don’t need my apologies”.

“Are they sincere?” You walked straight to him, only stopping when there were a few steps between. And before you could utter a word, the sudden flashback hit you back to six months ago, to a year ago even. The smell surrounding him was the perfume of yours he loved so much. He put it on before meeting up with you? What for? To make you nostalgic? To make you feel guilty? To make you think about the times he’d drag you to his bedroom just because you were wearing this same perfume? What for?

“Have I ever not been?”

You cleared your throat before continuing. “So, you know what you’re apologizing for? You’re really sorry? Is that what you wanna tell me?”

“Yeah”, Chan managed to muster; he felt absolutely dumb. His initial idea to beg for your forgiveness washed into thin air when he heard you speaking to Yugyeom. You sounded so happy and clearly in love that he couldn’t bear the thought of apologizing anymore. But… It still felt important to be said. “I’m sorry. I should’ve given you, us, a chance to talk it out. I’m sorry I’ve been harsh to you”. He drew in a breath and looked away before continuing. “And I’m sorry for not… For not tellin’ you how I felt earlier”.

It was important to be said, but Chan couldn’t feel the weight of guilt falling off his shoulders. It still felt the same; same heavy trail of pain following every word of his, same difficulty to breathe whenever he had to utter apologies. None of it seemed genuine even to him, and you, of all people, will never accept this bullsh-

“Okay”, you breathed out.

Chan frowned for a moment. “Okay? We’re okay?”

“Okay”, you repeated, lifting your head a little bit in a desperate attempt to prevent the tears falling from your eyes, “thank you for sayin’ this. I appreciate your honesty”. You drew in a breath again, fingers toying with the strands of your bag. “I’m sorry for puttin’ all of the blame on you - I was in the wrong too. I should’ve told you I loved you long before it all blew up”.

Chan almost brushed your apologies off - he didn’t need them. He didn’t blame you for not telling about your feelings sooner. “So… We’re cool now?” The hope in his voice broke your heart; he certainly wanted to go back together, start over, get past this mess. And it broke your heart even more, because you knew exactly what you were going to say next.

“But I don’t forgive you”, you looked him right in the eyes, “I can’t forgive you. Not now”.

“When then?” His voice was quiet, no daggers in it yet. His peachy curls, covered in snow, fell on his forehead, covering his brows. The hair color suited him; you wished you could put the distance between the two of you to nothing and bury your hands in the softness of his hair, inhaling his scent mixed with your perfume. You wished you could feel his arms wrap around you, surrounding you with warmness and safety you used to feel around him. You wished to go back to a sunlit bedroom in his apartment when the two of you were tangled in silk sheets, velvety lips leaving gentle kisses all over your body. You wished but you couldn’t. You weren’t able to.

“When we both heal”, you blinked several times in a row, “when we’re not sick anymore. When I don’t hate the mere idea of being with you again. When I don’t cry ‘cause I miss something that was never there”.

He was silent for a moment, his eyes glued to his shoes. “Do you hate me?” He mumbled.

“Not you”, you answered softly, “the idea I had of you in my mind. The real you has nothing to do with the guy I created in my head”.

“Can’t we at least be friends?”

“No”. You swallowed a lump in your throat, feeling it dissolve in your chest. “I’m tired of being ignored, tired of never being the first choice, tired of you not even-” You sighed deeply. “You can’t make our friendship public, can you? I mean, you obviously can, ‘cause you’ve posted about your childhood girl friend all over social media," you added, “but not with me. It’s impossible when it’s me for some reason”.

He murmured your name, taking a small step further. “You know you’re the most-” He gulped. “You’re my best friend, my soulmate. I just-”

“You don’t have to give excuses anymore, Chan”, you felt tranquility flow through your body, “I don’t ask you to. We’re too far gone to be back”. You put your hands in the pockets of your coat and sighed again. “I wouldn’t date me either, y’know. I’m not in the right mental state to be a healthy and stable partner, I’m aware of that. And I can’t forgive you until you realize you’re the same”.

Tired of bleeding, tired of fighting for something that was never there for you to hold onto, you finally felt the sensation of being relieved. If you engaged in, if you fell back into the trap of the idea of being loved by Chan, you would have to collect the pieces of yourself all over again. You’ve put too much effort into building yourself back that going back to looking at someone with storms in your eyes just because he wrote a song about his ex while being with you seemed destructive. The ruins of you that he left now were turned into a sad song about you that he released a couple of months ago; and you were more than a sad song. He wrote nothing about choosing not to risk his perfect image when you asked him to hold you hand in the street - ‘cause that would’ve brought attention to him, right? It’s always been him, him, him and never you, not even once.

“It’s good that you came here”, you gave him a small smile, “means we’re both growing”.

No more biting your nails, no more scratching your skin till it’s red and bleeding. You can finally go on, even without forgiving him. It’ll happen later, you guess, maybe tomorrow, maybe a year later. But what you did know for sure was that your love was not dying anymore; you sowed some seeds of hope and affection in your heart once again. But this time you were willing to grow a new kind of love - the love no one else but you could give to yourself.

Taglist:

@heylookwhoitis @amaranth-writing @itstorimf @tenshimara @whyyougottadothatbro

The story's masterlist <3

#bang chan #bang chan imagine #bang chan imagines #bang chan x oc #bang chan x female reader #bang chan x y/n #bang chan x you #bang chan x reader #bangchan #bangchan imagine #bangchan imagines #bangchan x y/n #bangchan x female reader #bangchan x you #bangchan x reader #stray kids imagine #stray kids imagines #kim yugyeom imagines #kim yugyeom imagine

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agustdef · 1 year ago

Text

Right Now

Pairing: Kim Yugyeom x Black!Reader

Genre: Angst, Light Fluff, Idol AU/Idolverse

Word Count: 1.4k

Warning: One cuss word; Language; Mentions of lack of eating, but due to workaholic behavior.

Rating: PG-13

Author's Note: I wrote this forever ago and never posted it, which makes no sense.

One thing that fans and choreographers had in common was that tour season was a whirlwind experience that came at you fast and had you begging it to slow down. Though to be honest Hana didn’t really beg for it to slow down, she went wherever it took her and that meant more work than all of the “off season” combined. Something she didn’t mind and to a degree could admit to loving.

And that is where the problem arose.

Yugyeom had his own tour dates to prepare for. Events that were some of his first since GOT7 left JYPE. They made him more anxious than when he had his members to rely on, so he put in more work than usual. But none of it was overworking himself or not taking the time to breathe.

With his new career within the R&B world he’d promised himself he’d take a little more control and do what worked best for him and the life he wanted to lead, even outside of music. It was a must, and it was hard because he was used to the go, go, go lifestyle of idol life, but he wanted to take his time. He had all the time in the world for the fast paced, always moving shit when GOT7 got deep into preparations for their July comeback - something he looked forward to.

But while he waited and geared up for his solo activities, he tried to impart some of that wisdom onto Hana. That meant talking to her about it and getting her to take breaks no matter how small and no matter what hops he had to jump through to get her to give in.

Of course, she had obligations so she couldn’t just ditch jobs. It would make people second guess hiring her or get her blacklisted from working with companies if she changed up on them at the last minute. But the problem wasn’t how many choreographing and teaching roles she took on, or at least not the one Yugyeom felt he could validly argue against. No, the issue was that she was also helping out other friends. She would workshop choreo, act as a member for demos, help them get into different companies to showcase they were the right fit for their artists, and even teaching classes with them when they asked at the last minute.

It left her with so little time to do anything else. Yugyeom feared if she was eating like she should have or getting enough rest in her own bed, because she hadn’t entered his in weeks.

The worry he felt was low at the start of the season, but peaked once some artists began to make their way out a bit earlier than the rest. There were so many last-minute details and intensive work to put in. He barely got a text out of her or anyone he could usually reach out to get ahold of her.

Even popping up wherever she told him yielded low results with him hoping the intimidating nature of being some of her clients' elder age and industry time wise would be enough to ensure they got her to eat or drink something when he dropped it off.

After a while it went from pure worry to agitation. Something that made him lie in bed at night staring at the ceiling as he thought about it until he picked up his phone.

Yugyeom: You at home?

Minutes ticked by with him staring at the screen awaiting an answer, to the point that he found himself a little pissed off and ready to call her, but before he could his phone buzzed a few times.

Hana: No, in the studio

Hana: I had to finalize that killing part for P1Harmony’s new comeback

Hana: I thought I told you???

Yugyeom’s anger didn’t subside despite her answering him, in fact her words seemed to just maintain how upset he was.

Yugyeom: You said it didn’t need to be done for two weeks. Did they push it up?

Hana: No

Yugyeom: So, you’re finishing it at 2AM 2 weeks early because….?

Hana: Because I want it done

Hana: Not rocket science. I got the time so might as well

There were many times in life that Yugyeom wanted to cuss someone out or simply scream and that was indeed one of them. It was like she didn’t know how she sounded, but he knew better than that. Hana knew exactly what she was doing and what he was calling her out on, but she wouldn’t cop to it. No, she preferred to do the thing where she played dumb until he said it outright and even then, she would deny, deny, deny.

It took several deep breaths to get him to calm down and respond to her.

Yugyeom: Come here and I’ll help you

Hana: I’m not falling for your tricks to see me. I’ll see you in a few days

Yugyeom: For work

Hana: And dinner after

He was going to push the issue, but just as began to type another message came through.

Hana: Gotta go. Ireh is back and we’re starting up. Go to sleep. Love you!

Naturally, he knew that she wouldn’t respond to him after that, so Yugyeom threw his phone across the bed. Or he tried to, but the slight force behind it made it bounce and hit the floor instead. He winced hearing it but made zero move to pick it up. All his focus was on Hana. The woman who drove him up the wall but who he loved endlessly.

The thing was he got it. There was no one more understanding than Yugyeom because he lived the life of someone whose work needed a lot of his energy and time spent with people like Monster Woo and other dancers showed him how much went into what they did. How much it could strain things. But all he saw was Hana running herself into the ground for no reason.

Of course, he had to admit part of it was for selfish reasons on his part. He wanted more time with her, even if it was a quick meal and falling asleep together. Spending quality time is something he loved to do with her, and he’d missed out on for months. However, the much larger reason was because he knew her and knew she was in her own head. Knew that a lot of the pressure to work, work, work stemmed from her need to keep herself relevant and employed in an industry that could truly break a foreigner, especially a Black one. She’d made a name for herself long ago and had the backing in the US, but working mostly in K-Pop was something new and she hated to fail at such a challenge.

That was the thing that kept him from losing his shit with her, but it was also the straw to break the camel's back. There was nothing left in him that said he should continue to let it slide, to not push harder for her to take a step or two back. Lines like telling her friends and colleagues to not reach out were ones he wouldn’t cross, but as he drifted off that night, he’d decided that he would put his foot down.

###

Days went by with Yugyeom not reaching out to Hana after their last text conversation. She wasn’t surprised that he’d stopped talking; he had two comebacks and tour dates to prepare for. Not that that was the reason he’d cut off communication attempts. Hana was smart enough to know he was worried and probably pissed with her. Something she hated but knew she couldn’t control since she had things to get done and not a lot of time to do them.

Tour season meant a lot of work and she was no stranger to pouring a lot of herself into it, so she rolled with the punches without much complaint. Which didn’t make him happy with her, but she knew it was something she could manage. Something she could explain to him to get him to understand.

Talking to him was in that plan once she arrived at the dance studio that he was preparing for his tour in. She was a choreographer for some songs and might go with him. Though with all the opportunities that rolled her way it looked unlikely that she would.

Another thing he would be upset with her about.

Upon her arrival she assaulted with the smell of food. As she walked further into the building those smells intensified and she basically drowned in them as she entered the break room area that the studio housed.

Everyone sat or leaned against something eating and paying her no mind. It was confusing because she thought they’d agreed to have lunch before coming in, but things had seemingly changed. All without her being in the know, something that she could have brushed off as an over thought if not for the momentary eye contact, she made with Yugyeom as he got up to grab a drink. His expression was blank as he looked at her and before she could blink, he turned around and went back to his seat without a word.

It was clear he was icing her out, which made her upset and a little angry. Not that she had time to process or call him on it, because the moment he sat down people noticed her presence and Ireh popped up and ushered her to the table she was sat at.

“We’re going to start a little later, so get comfortable. I’ll grab you something,” Ireh said.

Hana opened her mouth to tell her she was fine, but then her stomach growled, and she became all too aware of her hunger. She’d had a late night and got to sleep even later. So, in order to get the bare minimum of enough rest she’d slept in longer than she would have preferred and grabbed a pastry from the convenience store on the way. She’d planned to eat another snack before they started because she needed to and because eating a lot before dancing wasn’t something that she loved. But if she was hungry enough for her stomach to make sounds, she knew that she needed to eat something more. Plus, she had more time than she thought.

Another thing that wasn’t shared with her.

That made her irritation spike, so as she shrugged off her hoodie and dropped her bag Hana found her gaze drifting to Yugyeom. He was carefully spooning rice into his mouth as he messed around on his phone, only looking up when someone spoke to him and making sure to never even turn his head in her direction.

His behavior wasn’t something Hana never experienced before, she’d endured the silent treatment a few times before and it sucked every time. However, when it was about something that was work related and part of her livelihood it pissed her off. Even if there was a whisper in her head voicing the reminder that she could slow down some and not push herself so hard. That she had enough jobs for the season and could chill the hell out. The voice was right, but she wasn’t one to acknowledge that when she knew she could keep pushing and be fine.

So, being upset with him would withstand. At least that was what she tried to convey by glaring at a man who refused to give her the time of day.

Before she could do anything drastic, like walk over to his table, Ireh returned with two containers and a bottle of water. Hana took them carefully and was surprised to find kimchi-jjigae inside one. It was the typical food delivered for a work lunch, but it was a favorite of hers and something she craved whenever she worked a lot.

Something Ireh knew.

Once Ireh took a seat and began eating again Hana opened her mouth to thank her, but the woman shook her head.

“I barely even knew we were getting lunch today. You know who picked it out.”

“But he…”

“Hana, you know better,” Ireh said, but in Korean that time.

Though she often spoke both when talking to Hana there was something about the way she switched to it in order to scold that made Hana shrink into herself a little. It wasn’t that her feelings were hurt, but she did know better. Plus, Ireh was the oldest of four children, so she had the older sister act down pact, even if she only had less than a year over Hana in age.

Hana sighed. “I know.”

“If you know, then act like it.”

From there they ate in silence. The food was delicious, so Hana had zero problem finishing it and even after she was done the usual fullness never came. Which made her curse herself for clearly not eating enough especially because it wasn’t her intention, she just got easily wrapped up in things and forgot.

Once everyone finished, they cleaned up, and there were several minutes of sitting before everyone moved into the practice room. Hana brought up the rear and went to close the door behind them but was cut off by Yugyeom slipping into the room. He handed her a sports drink and continued to walk past her.

Or tried to but was stopped when Hana grabbed hold of his wrist.

“Yugyeom,” she whispered.

At first, she thought he would pull away, but after a few seconds he turned to her with an expression much gentler than the one he’d greeted her with.

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to…”

“I don’t have to do a lot of things, baby. But I do them because I want to and because sometimes people neglect to get them done.”

Not another word was said as he walked away, mostly because Hana couldn’t find any to say. There was the care behind his actions in those words, but she couldn’t miss the dig at the end. She knew it wasn’t meant to be all that hurtful, but she also knew he was being a little mean on purpose. Something that he wasn’t often, and she was unsure if she was angry, hurt, or simply upset that they’d reached that point.

In order to not have to figure that out she took a breath and stood off to the side while the head choreographer and tour manager spoke to them. When all information was disseminated they got to work going over the choreo with those who’d created it. Though the songs she’d worked on were early in the set list she went last and the entire time she refused to meet Yugyeom’s eyes.

Despite the tension they worked through the moves easily and corrected anything that seemed off. It was hyper professional between them and to a degree that made her feel worse, but the alternative of letting feelings leak through wasn’t any better.

After an hour and a half of going through everything they took a small break and Yugyeom tossed her a protein bar before taking a seat on the floor to catch his breath. The urge to say something flared, but Hana just took a seat and ate the bar without question.

Twenty minutes later they were back into the groove of things, but instead of checking for issues they decided to tackle the set list as it was. Most of the people he’d worked with weren’t coming with him, so it was the dancers with him while everyone else watched carefully.

Part of Hana wanted to sit it out because she may not have been going, but also because she was in a petty mood. The more time she and Yugyeom spent with negative emotions looming over them the more annoyed she got, and it was hard to push it down or reason with herself. But instead of taking that step back she got into position.

Keeping her mind from wandering wasn’t hard when she was dancing. It was her passion, so Hana always found joy in doing it. Especially because she’d been so happy when Yugyeom asked her to work on some of the choreo for him. She’d done so on some of GOT7’s music but working closely with the man she loved when he held the same passion as her put her over the moon. A feeling that found its way into her as she danced alongside him.

Their run through went off without a hitch and they were able to do it with very few breaks. Once it was finished, they all took a moment to catch their breath and then any issues were pointed out before they did it again. The second time around included moments where he would stop to talk or to head backstage for a bit, so it was less taxing and also showed there was a better flow of things.

Usually that would have been the end of it, but it was decided on one more run through. Yugyeom had been singing the other two times so to preserve his voice they just let the track play and he lip synced the lyrics. During that practice he found his flow in a way that wasn’t present before and interacted with the dancers more. Hana effortlessly played off that and more often than before they ended up close together dancing in a way that wasn’t so scandalous that they looked like they were five seconds from fucking, but enough to fit the vibe and the sexiness of some of the songs.

With the last song, Hana found they stared into each other’s eyes more than they had most of the day and so it took a moment to snap out of it and walk away once the music stopped. They managed to do so and keep to themselves as they listened to the tour manager again. Everyone was happy with the practice so it ended and though Hana knew most of them liked to leave quickly the speed in which everyone got out of there was next level.

In about two minutes only she and Yugyeom were left, and he was at the door with his hand held out to her. Again, the urge to be petty arose in her, but she’d gone a long time without any physical touch from him that wasn’t dance related and she craved it. So, after she grabbed her bag, she walked forward and laced her fingers in his.

Neither spoke as he led them out of the studio and to the car that he’d hired to drive them around. As they sat in silence, they continued to hold hands and didn’t stop until Yugyeom motioned her into the restaurant they’d planned to go to for dinner. The host led them to a private room and to Hana’s surprise JayB and Youngjae were already there. Both men were often late to dinners.

“Did you even shower?” Youngjae asked as he got up to hug them.

Hana rolled her eyes. “No time.”

“At least she’s not as stinky as him,” Jaebeom said as they switched, and he hugged her.

“Hyung,” Yugyeom whined.

That got a laugh out of everyone and that meant a pouting Yugyeom as they took their seats. A server appeared the moment their butts touched down and they ordered and awaited the drinks.

“So how did it go?” Jaebeom asked.

“It went well. Most of it was already ready, so from here on out it’s just correcting any problems and making sure that we’re one hundred percent happy with how the set list flows,” Yugyeom said.

“That’s good. I know it can be nerve wrecking to do the first solo show, plus it’s in person. Making sure it’s just right means you’ll do great,” Jaebeom said.

“I hope so.”

“Ah, our baby is nervous,” Youngjae teased.

More pouting ensued as they all laughed and Jaebeom reached over to pinch his cheek, earning a light slap to the hand which only made them laugh harder.

It took a few minutes before they settled and their drinks arrived in that time. In the restaurant they went to drinks were fast, but food was slow because they prided themselves in being made to order so most of the food was unprepped.

“Speaking of preparing, how is all the tour stuff going with the different artists, Hana?” Youngjae asked.

Something about the question excited her, but also felt heavy. As if she was beyond tired.

“Good. I thank the heavens that most have been doing online concerts and don’t have a lot of new music coming before tour. It makes it so that we’re mostly just going over things and learning a handful of new choreo. Most pick it up fast, but some of the rookies are so new to it that their nerves are making it harder for them to keep up. But I enjoy being able to help them through it.”

Jaebeom nodded. “I don’t know how you do it. Dance has been in my life a long time and b-boying could take a lot out of you, so I can’t imagine doing it as much as you do. Hell, as much as either of you do. And Gyeomie finds time to do it for fun.”

Hana glanced at Yugyeom, who’d gotten quiet, before saying anything.

“Yeah, it can be a lot, but you get used to it.”

“I just hope you’re taking care of yourself.”

Before Jaebeom finished his sentence Yugyeom scoffed, but Hana ignored it.

“I’m doing my best,” she said.

Another noise was heard but it was softer than the last in a way that Hana almost missed it. What she didn’t miss was the way that Yugyeom rolled his eyes.

If it was anyone else besides his members in that room she would have been embarrassed, but they knew how he could get and saw both of them at their worst. There was nothing they would judge them for or at least all judgment would come from a place of friendship and not rudeness.

Regardless of that it annoyed her, and she wanted to ask him about it, but instead took a deep breath and a sip of her drink.

Seconds ticked by in silence before Youngjae broke the tension or tried to break it, because it didn’t let up even a little.

“So, you ready to go on tour with him? I know you haven’t done one in a few years, and you said you miss it.”

Anger gave way to discomfort then, and Hana paused for way too long.

“Uh… yeah. Some things have come up and so I might not get the chance to do it. But I am looking forward to it.”

“You might not go?” Yugyeom asked, shock and anger coloring his words.

“Yeah, I was going to tell you…”

“When?”

“After dinner. I thought we could talk then.”

Yugyeom’s face was stoic, and it was clear he fought to keep it and not allow anything else to color his expression as he looked at her. For several seconds all he did was stare, before he turned his head to look across the table.

“Hyungs,” he said, voice shaky.

Neither of them said anything, just nodded and got up. As they exited Hana heard Jaebeom mention sitting at the bar to give them a moment to themselves, but she was more focused on Yugyeom who’d risen from his seat and began to pace the room.

“Yugyeom,” she said softly.

Hearing his name didn’t stop his pacing or even get him to look in her direction.

“Yugyeom.”

Again nothing.

“Kim Yugyeom.”

That time there was a bit of anger in her voice, and she didn’t know if that did the trick or the use of his full name, but he finally stopped pacing and turned to her. She watched as he visibly took a deep breath and then leaned against the wall behind him.

“Do you know how worried I’ve been?” he asked.

Hana sighed. “I kn…”

“That was rhetorical. You know how worried I’ve been. You’ve had me checking in on you over the phone. Bringing you food and getting you to take moments to rest. You’ve seen my hold back because I know how you work, and I know it can be intense. I know that you do things a certain way and while it may seem like too much to be doing to me that you view it a different way. I know this industry is iffy and you committing to working mostly for this country’s industry is a lot because of the extra bs that comes with you not being Korean. I let shit slide because of those things. I put aside my worries because of those things, because I’m trying to be understanding. But there are limits.

“You push and push until you push me away. You’ve barely spoken to me for more than an hour in total over the last month. I have to work harder than one should to get proof you’re okay. To make sure that you’re eating and drinking. To ensure that you’re getting the rest that you need. And you don’t give a fuck.”

Throughout his speech Hana felt guilt creep in, but something about that last sentence shoved it down.

“I don’t care? How are you going to sit here and tell me that I don’t care? As if I haven’t been doing my best to keep in contact and as if I don’t always thank you for the things you do to take care of me. I’ve been busy, Yugyeom. You know how much comes up during these months and how much busier I get as tour dates get closer.”

“Fuck that busy shit!” he shouted.

That brought them to a standstill. Not because Hana felt threatened or anything, they cussed all the time so it slipping into an angry conversation didn’t faze her. But the way he raised his voice surprised her a little. It wasn’t scary, but it wasn’t like him to yell even though it had been softer than most people’s.

“Baby…” she trailed off.

Yugyeom’s face shifted from anger to a deep set frown and gentle eyes that told her he was tired and worried. Much more than he was letting on.

“I just… I want to take care of you, and I want you to take care of yourself. I get that you work hard, but you can work hard and also relax. Take moments to breathe. Have some sort of fun. You get into this work mode where it’s like you can’t seem to do anything else, even when there isn’t much else to do. And I get it, baby I do, but there has to be a line.

“And I’m selfish. Outside of you being healthy I miss you. I’ve barely seen you for a month and it’s not like we haven’t crossed paths. I miss being able to spend time with you. Making up dances in the studio just because it’s fun, taking small trips for a day or two, you yelling at me because you hate the way that I cook, and just falling asleep by your side. I haven’t held you in forever.”

As he spoke Hana rose from her seat and moved over to Yugyeom, wrapping her arms around his waist before she pulled him close. She knew she’d not been thinking about herself much and just going with the fact that she felt fine as an indicator on if she needed a break. It worked for her, but it was a dangerous way to live and despite how much she hated to realize it, lack of eating alone was enough for her to know she wasn’t as well as she thought.

That coupled with the neglect of her relationship was a reality check of epic proportions. She’d expected Yugyeom to just go with her schedule without throwing him a bone in terms of even a little affection. Plus, there was the depriving of her own touch and time needs. All of it showed her that she’d been a mess masquerading as someone with their shit together for weeks.

“I know and I’m sorry. I got wrapped up in it all and forgot myself. But even so, I shouldn’t have forgotten your needs. Forgotten that I would have to put in the effort to fix things when I finally came down to reality and not just expected you to be understanding or that I could explain it away. You deserve better than that and I’m sorry I was giving you less than.”

Yugyeom wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against him. His body relaxed and so did hers. Not everything was solved, and it was something they would need time to get over, but Hana knew it was the start of a good thing and that she would do better.

After a few moments Yugyeom moved away a bit and leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. It was gentle and came with a spark that made it feel like the first time. A testament to how long she’d been in self-imposed exile of his touch.

As he pulled away from her, she made the mental note to overhaul her planner to work better for herself and her relationship.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you more.”

Yet another pout took form and as his lips parted to argue the boys reentered the room with the server right behind them.

“Sorry,” Youngjae said.

Hana waved them off. “You’re fine. We’re good.”

“Really?” Jaebeom asked.

“Yes.”

A squeeze of the hand was all she needed to be sure of it.

They enjoyed the meal without the heavy weight of tension in the room and despite how she needed to get across town the next morning Hana went with Yugyeom to his apartment without argument. She said she would do better and that needed to be immediate.

Plus, when she woke up a little later than she’d planned she couldn’t be mad, because being wrapped in his arms was the best night sleep she’d gotten in a while. She planned for it to be a repeat performance for at least a week straight.

#kwritersworldnet #kvanity #yugyeom x reader #kim yugyeom x reader #yugyeom x black!reader #yugyeom fanfic #yugyeom fan fiction #kim yugyeom fanfic #kim yugyeom fan fiction #got7 fanfic #got7 fan fiction #kpop fanfic #kpop fan fiction #got7 x black reader #yugyeom angst #yugeyom au

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magini0 · 1 year ago

Text

Kimset - (II)

Pairing: ot6 x Jungkook | Jungkook x Everyone

Genre: Witch AU, Soulmate AU, Ex's to Lovers, Angst With a Happy Ending

Summary: Jungkook has until the next Witching Moon to develop a cure for his chronic illness. With his race against time, he really doesn’t have the nerve to be constantly pestered by his old coven mates—whom he had left behind after a mission gone wrong. Back as a famous healer and sponsored by a renowned magical society, Jungkook is ready to do what it takes to survive. Now, if only his former coven would back off and stop being so damn persistent in making up for their old mistakes…

Word Count: 16k

Also accessible on ao3 => Here Previous Chapter => Here Next Chapter => Here

The sound of clapping filled the room like an encouraging symphony, the student at the podium trying—yet failing—to hide their smile at the favorable response to their inquiry. Kim Yugyeom, a face Jungkook hadn't intended to see again in his life. Yet again, he hadn't intended to see any familiar faces when attending this university. A thought he didn't want to dwell on; he had barely managed to push the subject away this morning. He had gotten dressed and rushed off to present his inquiry to his fellow students and the MCA association currently present.

After all, your inquiry had to be approved before you could actually start. The university's board of education and the MCA would then score your presentation; the higher the score, the larger your funding pool would be. How exactly the scores were determined was yet to be defined; publicly, it was described as a completely unbiased procedure and criteria; however, it was clear that even in the magical world, influences could come from anywhere.

Corruption was truly the only one unbiased. It affects everyone.

The sound of heavy auditorium doors opening shifted his attention from Yugyeom's presentation. The aspiring witch's inquiry consisted of finding a caladrius and further studying the bird's supposed healing properties. Jungkook barely knew anything about mythical beasts; he had never been very good with animals nor very interested. But he did know that caladrius were rare and practically extinct. That was why the university board was so approving of the inquiry, considering that if Yugyeom's mission was successful, it would benefit the university itself.

But all that seemed to simmer into a lingering thought when his eyes locked onto the sight of a sitting, silently brooding Jimin, arms folded over his chest as he observed Yugyeom's presentation. Even to the untrained eye, the blonde witch appeared tense. Shoulders pull back slightly more than what was considered casual, mouth etched into a slight frown. Jungkook hadn't meant to stare; he wasn't a part of Jimin's life anymore. The thought was supposed to console him, but in reality, it only fueled the sinister ache inside his chest.

Jungkook hadn't actually gotten a look at any of his old hyungs this morning, having gotten dressed and heading for a quick escape out the front door. He didn't want to face them. Perhaps it was the naive hope he clung to that he could simply avoid them for the remainder of the year.

But even at the sight of Jimin simply sitting in the auditorium, Jungkook realized that his ambitions were rather hopeless. Like a moth to a flame, he couldn't keep his gaze focused. How could he? Look away from something— someone he had hoped to see for the past six years.

"Jimin!" Taehyung's hushed voice called out, light and happy.

The brunette sneaks up behind Jimin's brooding form, snaking his arms around his neck and pressing a few gentle kisses against the other's cheek. Jungkook watched, with an untold heaviness, as Taehyung trailed around Jimin's seat—the witch was sitting at the end of an aisle—before plopping himself in the still vacant seat beside the blonde. And Jungkook's gaze lingered with an untold masochism as Jimin's unhappiness melted away. The earlier locked jaw pushed out an exhale, the previous frown turned into a smile, and those chilling eyes took on an expression entirely too fond.

Jimin leaned forward, cupping Taehyung's cheek and pressing their lips together. It wasn't an all-too-sensual kiss, considering that neither of the two witches could push down their smiles long enough to kiss properly. But it hurt.

It hurt so much.

But the worst part was that it still hurt to be hurting.

As Jungkook sat down aisles ahead of them, partially to remove the temptation to further damage himself by glancing back, the world around him grew distant. The loud, projecting voice of Yugyeom drowned out the applause that would follow a particularly enthused statement. It was all gone, distant. Although present, Jungkook wasn't really there.

He was somewhere else entirely, a place with rhythmic ballads, self-playing violins and cellos as witches danced tangos and waltzes. He recalled the night vividly, their first festival at the academy, celebrating the Veilweaver's Moon in all its glory. But Jungkook didn't remember the night over some planet in the sky—no, he had gotten something most precious that night. That night, he had his first kiss.

He had felt so jealous.

Jealousy.

An adjective with different meanings, but in this case, it could be defined as feeling fiercely protective or vigilant of one's rights or possessions. Only Jungkook didn't have a right over what he was jealous of; after all, he didn't own Jimin.

The witch was his own person, and Jimin had always been like a bird prancing in the wind. Free. It hadn't bothered him before, quite the opposite; in all of Jungkook's coolly constructed and scheduled childhood, Jimins adventurous nature was like a breath of fresh air. He had adored it. But watching as Jimin, his sweet Park Jimin, dance with another oddly stung. The rational part inside Jungkook pleaded for an audience inside himself, trying to explain that Hoseok was Jimin's soulmate. They all were soulmates; it was unreasonable to feel how he felt.

But that didn't change the fact that he felt it. He felt greatly, wave upon wave crashing against each other like tsunamis pushing against his heart—his soul. Seeing Jimin laughing, eyes creasing, and teeth on display. Nose occasionally scrunching up, his own giggles distracting him enough to misplace a step or two within the dance. Jimin looked so gosh damn happy.

Those smiles used to belong to him.

The sight was too much; it fueled the insecurities inside himself like gasoline thrown into a bonfire. It provided a speaker to that voice inside his head that insisted he wasn't enough. Jimin was like the sun, warm and giving. And Jungkook felt himself become inadequate to be basking in its soft glow.

It was why he had left the event in the first place; the academy's ballroom had seemed so endless when everyone had come together to decorate it. Marble tiles stretched out, meter-long windows reached for the curved ceiling, and a chandelier reflected light off of its glass embellishments and jewelry. It had been beautiful. It still was.

Only now, the room felt suffocating. His own jealousy wrapped around his throat, body, and soul before it squeezed. Everything felt inconsequential; the classical music sounded distant, washed out as if underwater. The chatter surrounding him drowned alongside the music, nearly mimicking a language he chose not to understand. All he could focus on was them. Hoseok and Jimin.

They looked perfect together. Hoseok was similar to Jimin in ways Jungkook could never be. A realization that made the phantom noose around his throat tighter, unyielding in its pursuit to torture him further. Although Jungkook barely bothered with any of his other soulmates, from the little interactions he had shared with Hoseok, the older male carried a similar chipperness to Jimins. Once, during breakfast, Hoseok had reduced Jimin to a pile of wheezing laughter, the kind that hardly made any noise at all.

Jungkook was rarely ever that funny.

But it wasn't until the halls began whispering about how Jimin and Hoseok were the perfect couple, how the soulmates were so clearly made for each other, that birthed the intensity of his envy. At first, he made nothing of those words; they were idle chit-chat students murmured to pass their time with senseless gossip. No one knew Jimin the way he did.

But seeing them dance, Hoseok's hand tauntingly resting against Jimin's waist. Laughing so beautifully, a thought—realization—skipped across his mind.

Those students had been right.

"Kookie?"

Jungkook sniffled, shoulders hitching up as the voice seemed to protrude his little moment of solace. He had left the party nearly twenty minutes ago; instead, he sought asylum in the academy's library. Aisles were replaced by extended bookshelves, reaching so high up to the ceiling a sliding ladder was against each shelf. They weren't used often, mainly by first years who hadn't learned the proper spell yet to simply pull the needed book towards oneself. There was a second floor that took the shape of an O, leaving a gap in the middle to peer down at the stretching wooden desks available to students. Narrow but long windows decorated the west side of the room, and small cushioned ledges made the window sills most desirable.

The sun rose in the east and set in the west, casting the library in an orange hue that made everything look golden. Jungkook sat against the windowsill, legs pulled against his chest and back leaning against the wall that separated this window from the next. He had watched the sun die against the horizon, replacing the warm sky with something cold and encompassing.

A small thread of irritation lit inside him; the night had gone horrible; no, the week had been an accumulation of utterly shitty events. So why? Why couldn't he at least be left to sulk in peace?

The entire week, Jimin had been distracted with the others, helping Namjoon with his cultivation, Jin with cooking duty—It wasn't even Jimin's scheduled date to help—and herding the griffin babies together with Hoseok. For an entire week, Jimin had spent time with the others instead of him. Even Taehyung, their rudest covenmate, was teaching Jimin how to spray paint. Or Yoongi, who had offered to tutor Jimin in herbology. Jimin hated herbology, but all of a sudden, he was its biggest fan.

It's only been a month since the two of them came to the academy, thirty days since the six red strings knotted to his finger found their destinations. He hated it.

Hated that he hadn't been bunked with Jimin and instead got Taehyung, a rude riff-raff wannabe who had cussed him out for placing his suitcase on 'his side of the room' only thirty minutes into their introduction. To put it simply, he vehemently disliked the edgy artist. He was irascible and unpredictable, a potential danger to Jimin, if not only a bad influence. His other soulmates were more bearable, but he wasn't really interested. He had Jimin; the two were a team. Not a group or a party—it was them against the world. No one else.

But Jimin was so eager in his utterly loving nature. It wasn't even surprising to Jungkook how quickly the rest of them fell for the bundled-up sunlight that was his hyung. Who wouldn't fall in love with Jimin?

He knew he did. He had loved him instantly.

A bundle of nerves had taken place inside his chest like all the strings inside his soul became knocked. A painful tug erupted within him whenever he saw Jimin smile for one of them—the same way he used to smile for Jungkook

"You should be at the party, hyung." He murmured, voice hoarse in a way that made him cringe. He didn't need prying eyes against his crying figure. His own gaze was still cast out the window, taking in the colors of the sky as if he'd never see the sunset again. Perhaps not meeting Jimin's gaze right now was his own weak attempt at preserving his already bruised pride.

"I would," Jimins voice trailed off as his footsteps approached the window. Slowly, Jimin's figure sat down beside him. Immaturely, Jungkook refused to look at him. Sniffles still occasionally betrayed him, prompting him to wipe at his wet cheeks rather irritably with his pulled-up sleeve. "But my soulmate isn't there." Jimin finished.

"One." Jungkook muttered bitterly.

"What?"

"One of your soulmates wasn't there." He clarified, his own jealous bitterness sinking into his tone. Tainting it with his anger. "You seemed to be having fun; who knows—maybe Namjoon stopped dancing with Seokjin? Or maybe Taehyung's free. You seemed to be all for bad boys lately."

Jungkook felt guilt spread through him at the sound of Jimin's sharp intake of air, the silence between them adding invisible weight to his chest and shoulders. He felt foolish and immature for his feelings. It wasn't Jimin's fault for wanting to spend time with his very own soulmates; it was normal. Good even. Jimin shouldn't fall victim to his envy.

If only he could tell his feelings that.

"Oh Kookie…" A hand rested on his arm, thumb rubbing softly against his uniform. Still unable to meet Jimin's gaze, the irrational fear of finding a look akin to pity kept his gaze outside. Where the night choked out the colors in the sky, stars began to peek through, and the moon began to show.

It wasn't until he was pulled into a hug, arms wrapped around him in familiarity, that forced his defenses to lower. Because this was his Jimin, his sweet little sunlight. And unlike the sky, Jungkook would keep its light blazing within the sky for an eternity.

That night, Jungkook's lips had pressed against Jimins for the first time. He had savored the taste and feeling of those lips against his in an empty, closed-off library. It was simple, sweet, and innocent. A type of kiss that, with Jungkook's inexperienced eagerness, left their teeth hitting against each other's, resulting in some breathless giggles. Jimin's hands had cupped his cheeks, pacing Jungkook gently as the two soulmates grew closer. This was simply one of the many firsts Jungkook would give to Jimin.

Watching the sunset filled Jungkook with an irrational sensation, a collaboration between fear and dread. Jimin was like the sun, but what if he, too, would set in Jungkook's world? What if one day, his world would become just as dark and obsolete as the night sky.

The sound of clapping bid Kim Yugyeom goodbye, the witch-polished smile somehow seeming unfamiliar to Jungkook; he had always known Yugyeom as a completely genuine person, seeing him plaster on something so fake threatened his nose to scrunch up in distaste. Jungkook didn't know Yugyeom anymore.

With a quick glance around, anybody could practically sense the anxieties and tensions in the air. The constant rustling of clothes being tugged and rearranged, legs bouncing up and down rhythmically, the sheer restlessness nearly seeping into the other magicals auras. Everyone was nervous, well, almost everyone.

Walking up to the podium himself was, admittedly, a little nerve-wracking. Jungkook wasn't shy; the thought of strangers silently evaluating him didn't really bother him. What irked him was the knowledge that they would be watching too. An observant gaze lingering against his skin, something that would've left a trail of goosebumps across his skin in a welcomed way, now became all too unwelcomed .

A strange sense of urgency lingered inside him, bubbling like an overflowing cauldron as he walked up the small steps. He wasn't sure if it was his pride or hurt ego at their presence, but Jungkook wanted to show off. He was feeling petty. A part of him so desperately wanted to shove it into their faces that he was doing good without them. That he had and was successful after their separation. However, a nagging little voice inside his head wasn't necessarily certain which party he was trying to convince. Them or himself?

Clearing his throat, he finally stepped up to the podium. Head held high, something Balam drilled into him before reaching the auditorium, posture straight and confident. A polite, practiced smile tugged at his lips. Jungkook knew that the university sought him out specifically due to his achievements during his apprenticeship; if successful, Jungkook could bring the establishment glory.

“Hello, I am Jeon Jungkook.” He introduced himself politely, with a small bow to his introduction. This was standard procedure; not many witches actually strived to complete the seventh level; it was an extracurricular in the magical world—one with benefits he was more than eager to reap. Glancing around the room, the smell of wood and carpet filled his senses. The auditorium was clearly as old as the university itself, large and glorious as it took on a circular shape. Instead of a flat ceiling, a large dome covered the structure. Before the stage, three rows of seats stretched to the back of the room, only separated by two narrow aisles lined with an extravagant red carpet. Its high, vaulted ceilings are adorned with intricate frescoes, and towering columns line the periphery between the windows, further creating a sense of grandeur. Rich, polished dark wood paneling and plush velvet drapes added warmth to the sophisticated space. Again, the fact that this university reminded Jungkook more of a castle was a theory evermore confirmed the longer he observed.

Candles floated above their heads, no doubt there to provide everlasting light. Something entirely unnecessary at the moment due to the walls of the auditorium bearing long, narrow windows that kissed the edges of the dome ceiling. Natural morning light flooded the space. It felt oddly bright, silently waking even the still drowsy students. The sky was a clear, untainted blue. Making the small glimpses outside even more captivating, the nature surrounding the university was just as mesmerizing as its interior.

"Throughout my apprenticeship, I studied Astrobiomedicine under the guidance of Kwang-sun with the pseudonym JJK." He paused, swallowing down the temptation of his lips to turn crooked—a smirk begging to contort his practiced feature and reveal how much he reveled in the small gasps and murmurs within the room. Ah, he had nearly forgotten how famous JJK had gotten.

"Throughout that time, I have managed to leave a more positive footprint on our community. With supported inquiries, guidance, and dedication, I was able to develop aid and cures in the Astrobiomedicine field." A smile, one that didn't quite reach his eyes as the small dopamine of praise washed out. A strange—no, familiar feeling began blooming inside his gut. As if Balam could feel it herself, she nudged her head against his leg. In her cold stare, she encouraged him to go on.

"One of my first achievements under Kwang-suns guidance was by making witching flu medicine more available for everyone; this was done by replacing newt syrup—we all know how arduous it is to get a hold of that—" A light-hearted joke escaped him, a desperate attempt to have the audiences own amused chuckles lift his own spirits. Save him from his own gnawing thoughts. It didn't work. "With the widely available thistle." He concluded, smiling politely at the clapping that interrupted his presentation.

A traitorous thought escaped him. Were they impressed?

"Throughout my second year under Kwang-sun, I modified the pre-existing medicine for Draemori Flux with a specifically cultivated flower found on the peaks of Mount Chelopee, previously endangered and now being reintroduced into our ecosystems. Successfully extending the life expectancy of those diagnosed for approximately twenty years." Another wave of clapping finished his sentence for him, the strange feeling inside his gut and chest growing nauseating.

"During my last year, I worked with Kwang-sun and my team to develop a cure for Faerune Fever, a disease we are most aware of that is fast, rapid, and deadly." A small whooping noise followed by, again, intruding applause made Jungkook pause. The voice of the praising noise sounded familiar, but Jungkook suddenly didn't want to boast anymore. He felt uncomfortable, and the smile he should be wearing felt like the hardest thing to maintain at the moment.

"Throughout my apprenticeship, I wanted to remain as true to myself as I could be. One of my goals has been, and always will be, to give back to my community." The sinking feeling inside his gut grew claws, howling and hissing inside himself as it clung to his heart painfully. "Therefore, as my inquiry for my seventh level, I have taken it upon myself to develop a cure for Nexus Entropy."

Encouraging clapping fills the room as Jungkook ends his presentation, bowing politely as he exits off the podium. The eager looks, the chattering about selflessness, and the fond look surrounding him make Jungkook sick. Without a word, Jungkook leaves the suddenly suffocating atmosphere the acceptance of his inquiry brought him. Breathing unevenly as he wanders outside, seeking asylum on a nearby bench.

Closing his eyes and gulping down his growing emotions, Jungkook focused on leveling the overwhelming amounts of emotions he felt. They weren't strange; he had grown used to them, but perhaps he was surprised by their frequency since arriving at the university.

The sight of the school board and MCA holding up a small paddle with the heavy, glowing numbers of a bold ten burned themselves into his mind. A ten. The highest score one could get. He had gotten full funding. And yet, Jungkook sat on a wonky park bench, trying to even his breathing. Slowly, the monster inside his gut reveals itself.

Guilt.

It swallowed him whole because he was the only one who knew. Jungkook had never been selfless. He had never done anything purely from the goodness of his heart.

Jungkook was doing this for himself.

"Do you know who I'll be sharing the laboratory with?" Judging by the sun and the lack of students roaming the halls, it must've been around lunchtime. The sun was high in the sky, merciless as always, forcing the lounging students in the courtyard to seek shelter underneath the inviting shade of the trees planted around the grounds. It looked peaceful, nothing but idle chatter and a still-warm breeze delicately shifting strands of hair. Perhaps if Jungkook wasn't feeling so cowardly, he would've gone and searched for Yugyeom, taken that time to catch up with his old friend—a strict understatement considering how inseparable they were during their academy years— yeah, Yugyeom had been his best friend.

But after they returned from the Deep before graduation and split up, Jungkook had sought refuge in Yugyeom's arms. A few days had passed, and Jungkook had made up his mind to leave everything behind. Although Yugyeom knew the most, Jungkook left him behind, too. With a hug and a vague, I'll be alright , was all Yugyeom had for the past six years. As if the earlier guilt didn't gnaw holes into his constitution already, the endless uncertainty regarding his relationship with his old friend tormented him regardless. Yugyeom would have moved on, too.

Before attending the university, Jungkook was aware of how much had changed. None of them were kids anymore; he wasn't an innocent, naive first-year who read about happy endings anymore or, the sixteen-year-old with immense temperament issues, or even the seventeen-year-old who felt nothing but love and devotion regarding his coven. Glancing around himself, now more than ever, Jungkook could see the past six years, from immature teenagers to the adults that now sauntered the halls looking to fulfill a great witches purpose.

"Why do I even waste my breath talking when you aren't even listening? Honestly, it's like talking to a wall sometimes." The sharp tone of Balam's chiding tugged Jungkook back into the present, the sound of his footsteps echoing lonesomely amongst the halls. Balam, as elegant as always, didn't even make a peep.

“What?—Ah, sorry Balam.” Pulling his gaze from the windows, he glanced at the disapproving look from Balam before shifting entirely against the opposing wall. Closed, wooden doors, each labeled with a letter and number indicating which laboratory one would find behind it.

"Tsk, if you're going to ask someone something, at least have the common courtesy to listen for their answer." Balam paused; she had a small habit of doing that between scoldings, perhaps to give whoever was on the receiving end to actually absorb the lecture. "Like I was saying, I don't know who you're going to be sharing the space with."

"But why do we even need to share a laboratory with someone? It could invite all kinds of trouble, like accidental contamination—or they could just be distracting and—"

"Will you stop? You'll drive yourself crazy in the first week alone at this rate. Every laboratory is shared between two people, partly because of convenience but mostly for socialization." Balam finished, a tone filled with finalization that didn't leave Jungkook any room to argue. It's not like he had any.

"Ah, here we are. Room B013 that'll be your laboratory." Balam stated, tail swaying casually as she watched Jungkook nod before opening the door. The sight was pause-worthy, at least for the young witch who stood stunned by the doorframe. Balam walked idly between his legs, a smugness to her gaze as he sauntered inside and hopped onto one of the black marble counters. Beginning to groom herself dutifully.

The laboratory was a large space, a silent worry of Jungkooks deminishing as the space could easily fit two magicals. The walls were a creamy white, contrasting with the deep mahogany of the windowsill and framing. Two large, ceiling-reaching windows gave the space a good amount of natural light. For the actual workspace, there were long rectangular islands made out of a marbled black stone. Material like that could withstand certain chemicals; no doubt why the university chose such a heavy surface in the first place.

To each side of the room, hugging some free space against the walls, was a display case. Walking over and opening the case, Jungkook marveled at the sheer amount of vials, cylinders, and other equipment waiting to be used. Looking around, he didn't mind the slight unevenness of the floorboards. The university was old, and although he was sure certain spells kept it maintained, age was something irreversible.

The space was open, not as homely as other aspects of the castle, but this was a laboratory. It wasn't supposed to be overly decorated or warm, places like these never were. But Jungkook found himself comfortable, which was rather important considering how many hours he'd be spending within this room. He should get to work.

Setting his bag down on an empty chair, Jungkook began familiarizing himself. Grabbing an empty notebook and taking inventory of what was available already, having found a section of dried-out herbs on a shelf on the south side of the room. It was important to note what he already had and what he needed to order, although there were rare oddities he would need to cultivate himself. He had sent Balam off a few minutes ago to check the greenhouses for thornvine—a plant that would only grow in October—making it important for him to know in case he needed to cultivate some of his own.

"I should've known you'd be in here."

Spinning around on his heels, Jungkook sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of his old friend, Kim Yugyeom. Now that he wasn't mentally preparing himself to present in front of an audience, Jungkook silently looked over the way Yugyeom, after all this time, hadn't really changed appearance-wise. Still, the same straight black hair parted to the side and loose, comfortable clothing. The only noticeable difference was that Yugyeom wore light, natural-looking makeup. Small dabbles of highlighter and eyeshadow extenuating his already soft features.

What do you say to someone you left behind?

Although the sight of Yugyeom warmed his heart, feeding it with a bittersweet nostalgia that threatened to tug a crooked smile across his lips. Sweet because he and Yugyeom were like two peas in a pod, they understood each other. Unlike Seokjin or Namjoon, Yugyeom never tried fixing Jungkook. Not because he wasn't worried or approved of Jungkook's delinquent tendencies but because Yugyeom had faith in Jungkook. Because, unlike anyone, Yugyeom understood where the aggressive behavior came from. Yugyeom knew that one day, Jungkook would move on. So on days when Jungkook would hide out from his Hyungs after having gotten into another lone fight, lord knows how fussy they all could get, lip busted and bruises forming above his cheekbone, Yugyeom would let him in and simply listen. He wouldn't touch or coddle, ask a hundred-and-one questions, scold or reprimand him—no, Yugyeom would continue playing on his computer, waiting for Jungkook to talk if he wanted to.

Jungkook hadn't wanted to for a while.

He would sit by the window, beanbag, or bed, and simply exist for some time. Waiting for Yugyeom's accepting personna to break, for the other to finally realize he wasn't going to get some juicy gossip from Jungkook and move on. Only Yugyeom never did. Not when Hoseok came knocking on his dorm door, asking about him, and Yugyeom convincingly lying about his whereabouts. Covering for him over and over again. So one day, sitting on Yugyeom's bed, back leaning against the white wall the bed frame was pushed against, knees to his chest, and fingers idly picking at some of the scabs covering his knuckles. Jungkook talked, and Yugyeom had listened.

So, how do you talk to someone you left behind six years ago? Fully expecting and accepting, never to see them again?

"What, not gonna say 'Hi' or anything?" Yugyeom's mused lips curved upwards in a kind smile. A smile so strikingly familiar, that Jungkook felt practically unworthy to be basking in its warmth. Just moments ago, Jungkook was reminiscing about how everything in his life had changed without him, and there stood Yugyeom, again , standing utterly unchanged before him. Still, the same buoy that kept Jungkook afloat all those years ago.

The prompt got Jungkook out of his momentary stupor, hurriedly fumbling over his words as he tried narrowing them down to just one sentence. Thousands of questions plagued him all at once, wanting to know so much while simultaneously apologizing for even more. Fortunately, Yugyeom seemed to have mercy on him once more, filling the room with a genuine laugh at Jungkook's fumbling.

"What? You can't be surprised to see me; you presented your inquiry right after mine, after all." Again, Yugyeom carried a smile that reminded Jungkook of the Cheshire cats, only less mischievous and more amused. And Yugyeom's question wasn't wrong; he wasn't surprised by his presence but by the fact that Yugyeom was actually talking to him. Yugyeom should be mad at him; he'd have every right to , he thought deprecatingly.

"Well, I just didn't think you'd, well," Jungkook paused, gesturing with his hand, "come find me." He concluded, sigh heavy on his tongue.

Yugyeom's smile dwindled at his words, the sight reminding him of nyctinasty, a rhythm that allowed plants to open and close depending on the time of day. Although his words were unorganized, watching them have such a horrid effect on Yugyeom made them feel terrible. Without much hesitation, Yugyeom walked over slowly, methodical in his steps before pulling Jungkook's still-tense body into a hug. They stood like that for a moment, Yugyeom's arms wrapped around Jungkook, a type of hug that felt just so encompassing, warm, and protective. Yugyeom was hugging him like he used to. Jungkook's arms worked on their own, wrapping tightly around his old pillar in life, hand carefully clutching the knitted material of Yugyeom's warm, marbled-looking sweater. His head disappeared into the crook of his neck, mostly to keep Yugyeom from seeing the watery shine to his eyes, inhaling the subtle scent of citrus still clinging to his friend. A perfume oil Jungkook had gifted Yugyeom for his seventeenth birthday.

A comfortable, emotional silence spread throughout the room. Distantly, one could hear a bird chirping, singing softly to itself as it landed in its nest, tucked against the outside windowsill along the left window. Sunlight shone through the windows, its light subtly spreading heat wherever it touched Jungkook's body. The two simply held each other, wordlessly making up for lost time.

"It's really good to see you again, Jungkook," Yugyeom murmured into his shoulder, and even without seeing the other's face, Jungkook knew he wasn't the only one choking on his feelings.

Jungkook wasn't exactly sure how long they stood like that, either party unwilling to release the other. Perhaps, in a silent fear of losing the other for another six years— or maybe even forever. They didn't say anything; however, the room never ceased to actually quiet, whether that was for the birds singing or occasional students passing down the hall or the pure liveliness of the castle itself that kept the room from ever really feeling silent.

It nearly forced an ironic chuckle to escape Jungkook as he recalled one of the first things that had pulled him towards Yugyeom in the first place. No matter what, the quiet had never felt uncomfortable. Maybe that's Yugyeom's true specialty. Jungkook mused to himself, hands subconsciously tightening their ghostly hold on his friend.

But just like any moment, this one had to leave them too. Jungkook struggled between saying too much and simultaneously not enough, apologies prancing at the tip of his tongue. But he also wasn't sorry. For leaving them, for distancing himself after they left him. However, in his pursuit to feel nothing, Jungkook accidentally lost what he still had.

"I'm sorry." A croaked, emotional voice broke the silence.

Yugyeom chuckled, but Jungkook could hear the heart behind it. Somehow, Yugyeom had grown emotional too. But it wasn't anger like Jungkook had expected, nor resentment or aloofness. Perhaps it was because Jungkook found none of that—that Yugyeom still looked and embraced him with all of his flaws, that really broke the nonchalant facade Jungkook tried so desperately to maintain.

"I don't know for what in the world you could be sorry for, Jungkook." Yugyeom mused, a delicate sing-song voice that made his words just sound so easy. So simple.

Maybe Jungkook simply was just a masochist, someone in strict denial that his actions would go unpunished. Because in an instant, Jungkook didn't hesitate to remind him. "For leaving you, for not contacting you, for disappearing for the past six fucking years—"

The discouraging tutting noise from Yugyeom quickly shushed Jungkook's feeble attempts at self-sabotage. The older male pulled away from their hug, instead cupping both of Jungkook's cheeks and forcing the spiraling witch to gaze back at him. “Jungkook, I understand . You needed to get out, to leave and collect yourself. At your own pace, in a place of your choosing." Yugyeom reminded, as if the barebone intentions had escaped Jungkook in the midst of all this chaos.

"I knew that one day we'd see each other again. And when that day happened, I told myself that I'd greet you like the friend you always were." Yugyeom's voice shifted from serious to one lighter in tone, filled with fondness. "And here we are, nothing but old friends getting to spend time together once more. I'm really happy to see you again, Jungkook; you've been up to quite a lot, haven't you?" Yugyeom teased, letting his words wash over Jungkook as if his unconditional affection was only a mist against Jungkook's skin and not a complete and all-consuming wave crashing against his fridged heart.

Jungkook hadn't even realized it himself, when exactly his heart had grown so brisk and glacial . Uncaring and detached from his past. But being with Yugyeom again, in an occasional silence that never once felt overbearing, melting at the sheer love that still endlessly poured from the other. Jungkook felt himself slowly thawing, begrudgingly accepting that Yugyeom was something of his past he didn't want to let go.

"I know I let you pace our conversations yourself, but I am dying to know what you've been up to. Besides being a famous physician and all—which I'll get to later, don't think I'll let that one go." Yugyeom began, pulling away from Jungkook and instead hopping onto one of the working surfaces in the laboratory. Dangling his feet carelessly.

Jungkook smiled at the shift in tone and Yugyeom's tendency towards the dramatics. Jungkook found himself sitting beside his best friend, talking about the past six years. About how he had met his Halmoni, about the rather—abrupt adoption into Chae-wons family. Helping out in the bookstore, dealing with angry customers and dodging flying books, even tutoring. A fond tone edged his words as he described Jung-so and how Jungkook looked forward to seeing the little witch grow.

Along those lines, Jungkook skipped his diagnosis. Not necessarily intentionally, but mostly due to the fact that he couldn't bring himself to ruin the fond smile that had etched itself onto Yugyeom's lips.

"What I don't understand is why you went with medicine, like—you hated herbology, biology, any of that stuff. You hated it because your parents forced you into it; the Jungkook I knew cared more about which colored paints to pair with which because apparently there's this entire color theory thing—" Jungkook couldn't help but laugh at Yugyeom sidetracked rambling. The chuckles got him a huff from the other and a playful nudge against his shoulder. "Anyways, what I'm saying is, why Astrobiomedicine?"

Ah.

Jungkook hummed, acknowledging the question as he tried to formulate his words. Eyes suddenly glued to the floor, legs swaying before stopping altogether. The truth was unwelcoming, cold, and bitter; the reality sunk into one's skin like poison. If Jungkook could, he would spare Yugyeom of it. The inevitable truth is that Jungkook would die sooner rather than later.

"A year after I left, after we graduated and went our separate ways." He began, "I started feeling ill. My magic, well, it grew weak. I couldn't feel it like I used to, had to focus more when I needed to pull on it, and eventually it began hurting when I did." Jungkook vaguely recalled the nights spent trying not to hyperventilate when his undiagnosed symptoms would appear. How he would gently palm and rub on his chest to try and soothe the ache away, trying to convince himself it was lingering soreness from an earlier activity. But it wasn't until the shadows appeared that Jungkook sought help.

A pregnant pause, a shaky breath, and Jungkook continued. Eyes clouded as he talked, body present but mind far away, recalling in vivid, gruesome detail what he had gone through. "The pain—the pain, it got so bad eventually, like someone was sucking the mana out of me like I could feel my magic die inside of me. Felt my body go absolutely haywire, trying to mend itself. Using what little mana I had available to subconsciously attempt to restore myself. But using magic made it worse, and the pain intensified. It wasn't—it wasn't until I started coughing blood that I went to see a healer."

Jungkook hadn't realized how weak his voice had gotten or how Yugyeom had pulled him close and into his side. Rubbing small circles into his back like little incantations meant to soothe him. Jungkook hesitated because he didn't want to say it. Saying it made it feel so real . It invited the fear he tried so hard to suppress to consume him, body and soul.

"I was diagnosed with Nexus Entropy."

Yugyeom didn't have to say anything. That quiet, quivering breath spoke volumes.

"How—" Yugyeom visibly struggled to ask; the sight plunged Jungkook's heart from its roots. He didn't want to make Yugyeom say it; to ask him that question, everyone eventually narrowed his condition down to.

"How much longer do you have?"

"By the end of the year—" Jungkook couldn't meet Yugyeom's gaze but reluctantly looked into his best friend's eyes. He could see the teary reflectiveness threatening Yugyeom, and all it needed was the catalyst Jungkook was about to provide.

"By the end of the year, I'll be dead."

Jungkook had until the next Witching Moon to figure out a cure, or else JJK would have been a prodigy.

The sound of the front door unlocking and Jungkooks shuffling inside filled the space, a long, exhausted sigh escaping him as he removed his jacket and hung it onto the nearly filled coat rack. Sliding off his shoes and slipping into a comfortable set of slippers, glancing at the remaining ones. It was always easy to tell who was and wasn't currently home simply based on the amount of house-slippers left. Two pairs were still there, which unfortunately meant for Jungkook—one-third of the coven was present. With everything that had happened today, presenting his inquiry, reconnecting with Yugyeom, talking about his diagnosis, Jungkook felt drained. Emotionally and physically, he had nothing left to give. It was worse enough that his supposed safe space wasn't a place he could recharge in either, quite the opposite actually; Jungkook had rarely ever felt such dread .

He was good at distracting himself, diverting all his attention and energies to certain subjects or jobs to the point that nothing else was able to occupy him. Somehow, Jungkook had even managed to push the topic of his exes away, too. Beside his feet, Balam yawned and stretched out her front paws, arching her back in a dramatic gesture. The sight made Jungkook slightly guilty; unlike all the other familiars who had been allowed to rest alongside their witches throughout the day, she had opted to stick by his side. Today was supposed to be easy.

"Balam, why don't you head to my room already? I'll just go and eat some dinner first." He suggested, glancing at the Siamese cat spirit beside him. She looked skeptical, and he wasn't exactly sure what persuaded her: the thought of sleep, Jungkook entering his dormitory space instead of hiding, or perhaps Balam was able to decipher the fact that Jungkook wanted some space. Either way, Balam nodded and sauntered her way down the hall and into his room.

Jungkook walked alongside her until they reached the living room, momentarily getting paused by a small pomeranian with mixed-colored fur circling his legs excitedly. Jungkook had been a little surprised to see the dog until he quickly recalled that this must be one of the other familiars. In Jungkook's rush during the previous night to escape the others' prodding stares or simple presence, he had failed to notice the company of any other familiar besides Balam. A part of himself wanted to be a bit immature; the need to nudge the dog away with his foot and move on nearly made his leg tingle. But the other familiars weren't responsible for their witches' actions; it wasn't fair to let his frustrations out on the spirits.

With a tired smile, he kneeled down before the hyper dog. It's tail wagging wildly, sniffling at Jungkook's outstretched hand. “Hello, I’m Jungkook.” He introduced, amusement twisting his drained expression into a more genuine one. Talking to the familiar was apparently like opening Pandora's box.

"Hello Jungkook, I'm Yeontan! But I go by all kinds of names, like Tannie, or if you wanna be really formal with me, you could call me Kim Yeontan. But I don't really like it when people call me that—So Yeontan, or maybe Tannie? No, I'll go with Yeontan. Call me Yeontan!" The pomeranian spirit babbled, his tiny tongue slightly hanging from his mouth. A small, quiet panting accompanied Yeontan's excitement.

But before Jungkook could even utter a word in response, the admittedly cute pomeranian shot back instantly. "I've heard a lot about you; I mean—he won't shut up about you. I wasn't listening very much, but soulmates! Isn't that romantic? It's very romantic, oh gosh, it's kinda like candy. We should go get some candy—"

"Yeontan!" The sharp, scolding voice from Seokjin contained the chipper dog; the other witch must've come from the kitchen if the amusing, pink with white polka-dotted apron didn't speak for itself. Yeontan listened, pausing his train of thought and remaining seated in his spot—well, trying to felt more accurate. The little dog shifted on its feet, swaying between the left and right front paws, tail swishing hazardously against the floorboards. The thought that this might be Seokjin's familiar flashed through Jungkook, but it was rather odd, considering how different the two were based on his outdated knowledge. Soekjin was an earth witch, different from a green witch like Jungkook—who dealt more with energy—earth witches could literally manipulate the ground around them. Although it was stereotypical to assume all earth witches were low maintenance, Seokjin did carry himself with a very grounded nature. At least, that's what Jungkook remembered.

"Why don't you tell the others that dinner is going to be ready soon?" Seokjin suggested in a soft tone, but a quick glance at his expression gave the hyper pomeranian the idea that his suggestion wasn't debatable at all. But the dog didn't seem deterred by the command, excitedly nodding its head and trotting down the hall. The soft patter of the familiars paws and nails tapping against the floor gradually disappeared into another room.

But with the sudden absence of the overzealous spirit, Jungkook so desperately wanted him to return. He didn't want to be alone with Seokjin, not with any of them, actually. The pause between them stretched, and unlike his earlier interactions with Yugyeom, the quiet between them was heavy against his shoulders.

"Uh, is Yeontan your—"

"What? Oh, no." Seokjin chuckled; the sound was happy, even if he looked a little relieved. "No, that familiar belongs to Taehyung."

Taehyung?

The thought of the old academy Taehyung, more delinquent than student. The witch who would bite and bark at the slightest hint of coddling, who complained about anything slightly outside of his apparent agenda. Who was too cool for bright colors and cutesy stuff, being paired up with a small, hyperactive, easily enthused fluff ball? Unwillingly, the thought made Jungkook's lip curve upwards.

However, it did remind Jungkook about the sheer amount of time he had missed. Recalling the soft colors Taehyung was dressed in last night, the way his style had changed from rough-and-rugged to a well-put-together, although easy-going, student. Exactly how much had Jungkook missed from Taehyung's growth? The small, vague smile that had crossed his expression disappeared. A cruel, intimate feeling of being robbed slowly took shape inside himself. Growing vicious, more dominating the longer he thought about it—

"Come, I made Bibimbap." Seokjin successfully interrupted Jungkook's spiraling, even if it was just for a moment. The older witch spun on his heels, walking back into the open kitchen. The space overall was very open, besides the two corridors that led off to the bedrooms and bathrooms. The kitchen was off to the far left, raised a step from the rest on a wooden platform that expanded to the dinner table. The only thing that mildly mimicked a wall between the kitchen and dining room was a long marble island. Then, the floor lowered a step or two and made room for the living room. Two couches rested on the now carpeted floor in an L formation around a coffee table. The space was wide and open, with potted plants and large windows, making the space oddly homey but exclusive. Again, another reminder of how loaded the university was.

The seducing scent of Bibimap wafted through the space; glancing at the counter, he noted the already prepared namul and signature gochujang paste being set off to the side on the counter; the meat still seemed to be sizzling inside the pan. Which is what Seokjin had hurriedly returned to, back now turned to Jungkook as the elder stirred the cooking meat. Bowls of white rice, another with eggs and other dishes to serve as toppings filled the space. It kept Seokjin distracted, allowing Jungkook to lean against the island counter. Arms crossed over his chest, gaze painfully observing the sight of Seokjin cooking.

Jungkook distantly recalled how when he released the glimmerkins in beastology—the study of magical beasts—he had gotten detention and a date with the Headmaster, where he was promptly trialed without having gotten to eat dinner. Originally, Jungkook did it purely to prank the new first years, glimmerkins were ghastly little beasts who caused chaos wherever they went. What hadn't been part of the plan was for the glimmerkins to team up on one first year in particular and hang them from the ceilings chandelier. Or splash an entire group with blue eldertwine ink, an ink that was derived from a wilted twine root and was completely waterproof—subsequently staining both faces and uniforms. Or for the glimmerkins getting into the bestiary pens and releasing the Nixalopes and Gryphalos.

Yeah, Jungkook truly learned the extent of how mischievous glimmerkins were that day. But despite the scolding he had gotten from both the dean and Headmaster, along with his hyungs, Seokjin still loathed the idea of Jungkook going to bed hungry. Which is what had led them to sneak into the kitchens after curfew; Seokjin easily navigated the space, considering how often he volunteered to work cooking duty and made Jungkook a serving of bibimbap.

Returning to the present, Jungkook fought the bitter feeling of wonder as he watched Seokjin cook. The taunting, daunting curiosity of what if. What if Seokjin was making bibimbap because it had been Jungkook's favourite?

Jungkook had to stifle both a scoff and grimace. Since he had reunited with the others, he was uncertain which emotion he felt more. Blinding, engulfing anger, or all-consuming sorrow. As if Seokjin could feel Jungkook's burning gaze against his back, the elder attempting to fill the silence with idle chatter.

"Yeontan and Taehyung seemed to be really close already; I wouldn't be surprised if the two actually formed a proper spirit bond. Though, my familiar is a real cutie too; they're—"

"Is this what we're doing now?" Jungkook interrupted with a badly hidden snarl, distaste and frustration evident in his tone. "Pretend like nothing happened?" anger . The pendulum dancing between hurt and anger stilled for a moment, and like those cheap magnetic knock-offs human kids would get to try and predict the feature; Jungkook's internal pendulum stopped spinning over his anger. The kindling had been lit earlier, and now Jungkook had a fire inside himself itching to burn.

"Bunny—"

"Oh please, spare me the informality, Seokjin-sii." He watched as Seokjin inhaled at the formal address, and a sadistic satisfaction watched over himself at the twisted expression it earned him when the elder turned off the stove and turned to him. Untying the apron, folding it before setting it onto an empty space along the counter. Seokjin, like always, seemed to be taking his time formulating a response.

"What was the plan here, huh? Act like nothing happened? Like I just went on a dainty little vacation, and now we can all go back to playing family again?" Distantly, Jungkook could hear chatter down the corridor halt. The others, although he was uncertain on who , had become aware of the confrontation currently occurring. Of course, in an open space like this, there wasn't much room for privacy besides in their own separate rooms and the two bathrooms. Good, let them hear. Jungkook thought bitterly.

"Although, it seems you guys already did that. How long did it take for you all to get back together? A week ? A month ?" Jungkook's voice was mocking, and although he knew he'd feel remorseful for letting his own anger singe other people, a part of him wanted them to hurt, even if their pain was insignificantly narrowed compared to his.

"We're not together." Namjoon's voice injected, walking up to Seokjin and standing only a meter or two away. Body leaned against the sink, arms crossed, as he calmly looked at Jungkook. It was those signature, composed expressions that really irritated Jungkook. Because he was feeling it all at the moment, and before him, one of the six causes to all this turmoil and mess, was a man who had the gall to look so unphased?

"Namjoons right, we aren't all together like we used to be," Jimin added, standing by the dining room table with Taehyung. Although, Jimin's expression contorted into one of—remorse? Sadness? Jungkook didn't linger on it.

"I don't give a flying fuck who you've all decided to fuck or not; my point is that you don't get to address me so casually anymore. We aren't friends; I'm not your bunny ," A sharp glance towards Seokjin, "Or your Kookie , I'm your roommate. Don't call me out for dinner, or lunch, or any other domestic little spiel." Venom laced Jungkook's tone, and he could feel his own magic simmer and boil underneath his skin. He could feel it pulse, submerging some parts into his aura, subconsciously signifying how absolutely volatile Jungkook felt at the moment. He could see the witches in the room react, inhaling sharply or quiveringly. What infuriated him more was that Seokjin or Jimin didn't even have the nerve to meet his gaze.

After all, Jungkook's anger and pain were the product of their betrayal.

A sudden but hesitant tug on his finger pulled Jungkook's fury away from Namjoon and Seokjin. One of the red strings tied to his pinky tugged once again until he met Jimin's remorseful gaze. The blonde's eyes were teary, lip seemingly bitten raw, and hands a little restless with nerves. It was clear, but Jimin had a contorted expression that the witch was holding back tears.

"Jungkook, please , I–" Jimin's quivering, raw voice was cut off by Taehyhung.

"We're sorry. I’m sorry, Jungkook.”

It wasn't enough; two words would never make up for how Jungkook was hurting. How he had been left behind , how the unwanted jealousy coursed through him in dangerous, turbulent waves. Threatening to take what little restraint, what morality, he had left under with it. It wasn't fair ; it wasn't fair that even if they didn't have all of each other, they still had some parts of each other.

Had they honestly expected him to stay and keep contact after everything that had happened? The mere thought made a cold, bitter scoff escape him. Expression twisted into a small sneer, Jimin lowered his gaze at Jungkook's response, suddenly seeming all too interested in the shiny, laminated floorboards. Taehyung, always the prideful one, did not divert his gaze. But the brunette's expression was filled with remorse, a glassiness to his eyes that threatened to make Jungkook feel guilty.

But the longer the silence filled the room, the less wind there was to fan Jungkook's flames. Slowly, he loosened his hands. Not having noticed exactly when he had balled them into fists. His nails have dug into his skin, leaving red, slightly irritated crescents indented into his palm. The pain, although as cynical as it was, grounded him. Inhaling, the sound of sucking breath into his lungs, only to eventually let out a vulnerable breath filled the otherwise barren room.

Jungkook's eyes flickered over to Namjoon; the older witch had his arms crossed over his chest. But unlike Seokjin, who also had his arms crossed, Namjoon looked like he was shielding himself while Seokjin was practically hugging himself. It was the sight of Seokjin's glistening cheeks, reddened eyes as the oldest cried unabashedly, that somehow derailed Jungkook from his tyrannical warpath. Because why was Seokjin crying? After all, it was them who hurt him . The only person currently allowed to cry was Jungkook.

“Jungkook, Bun, Kookie—”

"Jungkook." Jungkook's tone was sharp in its reprimand, but the sound of his old nicknames from any of their lips felt like salt in the wounds he already carried. He hated it, hated how vulnerable Seokjin sounded, how much sorrow and sheer regret was tainting his aura.

The sound of Seokjin sucking in his breath, gulping audibly as the elder clearly tried to swallow the choked sound of a sob down. Grimacing and contorting his face to control the wobble of his lips, the sight was enough to make Jimin's muffled sniffling more auditable, too. The sight and sounds somehow managed to irritate Jungkook further, the threads tied around his pinky tugging uselessly. The souls inside themselves weakly calling out for reconciliation.

But Jungkook wasn't going to reconcile.

Eventually, in the suffocating atmosphere of the room, Seokjin found his words, perhaps with the gentle help of Namjoon, who had started rubbing circles onto the weeping witches' backs.

"Kook—" Seokjin inhaled, hurriedly trying to amend his mistake at Jungkook's sharp glare. “Jungkook, I’m sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry. I've hurt you and—"

"Why?" Jungkook prompted, turning his full attention to Seokjin. Back now turned towards Jimin, the witch's downcast gaze desperately trying to avoid contact with the world. Ah, when had Jungkook's world turned so melancholic?

He had never wanted this. He had never wanted to be so sad. He never intended to spread that sorrow either.

"Why? Why are you sorry, Seokjin? Was it because you left me?" A choked-down, heartbreaking sound escaped Seokjin's lips. The elder hurriedly cupped his palm over it, hiding his fully trembling lip and runny nose. Eyes squinted with tears, yet the witch refused to look away. Jungkook wasn't sure what motivated him to go on, maybe, in the most twisted parts of himself; did it feel good to see one of the people who hurt him feel even the slightest amount of what he's been carrying for the past six years. Or, perhaps it was also a combination of adrenalin from actually having this confrontation that didn't let Jungkook relent in his sadistic pursuit to shed tears.

"Why?" He prodded further, voice whispery yet mocking.

"Jungkook, that's enough—" Namjoon tried cutting in, realizing how this conflict was escalating. The sight made Jungkook snicker because where was that motivation when everything was on the line?

"Was it because you didn't even look back? Or, maybe how you didn't even fight it?" He prompted, taking a step closer.

"Jungkook, stop. Let's calm down—"

"Hmm? Come on, Seokjin, tell me what you're sorry for. Was it because you knew how much our coven meant to me? Or, was it because you knew how much I lov—"

"Because I failed you!" Seokjin finally cut Jungkook off, voice loud and booming, but it cracked at the end. Raw with emotion, with pure, unfiltered desolation .

And the gusto inside Jungkook dwindled, and for the first time since, he had been reintroduced to his past. Felt the mockingly familiar pull on the red strings uniting them; the bulwark that had been protecting what little face he had left relented. Hot tears threatened his waterline before falling down his cheeks and kissing at the bottom of his chin. No one dared utter a word; the only sound was the sniffles, hiccups, and weak attempts to downplay the depths of their shared agony.

It took a moment for Jungkook to find his own voice, shoulders trembling as his gaze turned downcast, too. Gulping down a sob, he nodded.

"Yeah, you did."

"All of you did."

Before his knees could collapse under his weight, the heart in his chest suddenly felt miles heavier than it ever had. He turned around, desperate to preserve what little dignity he had left, and retreated to his room. He swayed, tears making his vision blurry as he swung open his door and nudged it shut behind him, the bang unintentional and imposing. In some ways, the bang signified, or rather— felt , like the means to an end. An odd, somewhat relieving feeling spread through him as he dived face-first into his mattress. Arms swinging around his pillow, face pressed into the downy as he finally let sobs wrack through his body.

Because finally. Finally , he was able to tell them. He was able to say it to them.

His coven hadn't just left him. They hadn't just misused his trust, hadn't just broken his heart—They had failed him. In every sense of the word, they had let him down to shatter amongst the floor. But Jungkook had time—six years, to be specific—and within that time, had pieced himself back together.

He'd be damned if he ever let them break him again.

“Mr. Jeon?”

Perking up from his spot in the waiting room, Jungkook glanced at the nurse standing by the hallway closest to the front desk. Raising his hand, the woman spotted him quickly, a friendly but stale smile plastered onto her lips as she tucked a brown clipboard against her chest.

“The doctor will see you shortly; follow me, please.” Her voice was honeyed, but it was something Jungkook was used to by now. Nearly every nurse he’s met was sweet, voice usually soft, not always in tone—but in nature.

Sitting up from the uncomfortable waiting room chair, he always tried to avoid touching the small cushions patched on the base and back of the seats. They were always in different colors depending on what hospital you went to; in this case, they were a faded pink. But it wasn’t the color that made Jungkook cringe slightly; it was that fake, leathery texture. Of course, he understood why it was that specific texture. They couldn’t go for actual fabric since it couldn’t be cleaned easily; authentic leather was expensive and shouldn’t be cleaned with harsh chemicals, either. Therefore, fake leather was the best option. But that didn’t change the fact that Jungkook disliked it, the texture, and the hackneyed appearance. Maybe it was so because the only time he’d ever had to sit in one was when he was in the hospital.

At this point, Jungkook was no stranger to any hospital. No matter the location, they all worked on the same principles. The only thing that was ever different or mildly difficult was finding the damn floor you were supposed to be on.

But Jungkook had managed; he always did. Standing up, smiling a timid but kind smile to return the nurse's politeness before promptly following her.

Hospital hallways were always eerie; he wasn’t exactly sure what contributed the most to its unsettling atmosphere. It could be the pure whiteness of practically everything: the stale gray vinyl flooring, the off-white, sometimes cream-colored walls, the haunting pattern of your footsteps. The sound was hard to explain in hospitals; it was usually quiet, unsettling as one dangled from their own anxieties, but when there was noise, it was loud.

Whether that noise came from an incessant EKG monitor or the vital sign monitors that practically start screaming when a value is off, to the minute details, such as grabbing a set of gloves from the glove compartments hung against the walls, unwrapping medical supplies, moving machinery around on unoiled wheels, and the constant pacing footsteps of nurses flying around like busy bees.

But Jungkook preferred that, preferred the noise over the silence any day. Which is why he hated his sessions so much; the kind nurse guided him down the hall before entering a room. She let him enter first before plugging a set of gloves from its respective box before checking his vitals, jotting them down, before giving Jungkook a moment to settle.

Jungkook sat at the edge of the hospital bed, not yet wanting to lay down on the thin mattress. There was a process to this he had grown accustomed to; first, the nurse would check his vitals, then he’d wait— that following silence taunted him with gruesome ambition. Then, the doctor would arrive, observing the progression of Jungkook's health and determining the speed at which he was actively deteriorating. Then the doctor would leave, and silence followed before a nurse pushing a heavy, modified centrifuge entered. Lastly, Jungkook would dance with unconsciousness for approximately four hours until the Satan spawn was removed from his arteries.

The entire process had made Jungkook so incredibly anxious the first time he had done it, but his Halmoni had been there with him. Holding his hand, fussing over him, and eventually taking him down to the bakery across the street when he was done, those moments filled him with a gentle warmth because he hadn’t ever asked Halmoni for any of it. They weren’t even related, but the old witch saw something within him that Jungkook might not ever see. But she loved him, and in all her disorganized glory, Jungkook loved her, too.

It was that very love that prompted him to grow more silent over his festering condition. Why he had eventually asked her not to accompany him anymore because seeing the sheer amount of sorrow in her old gaze whenever the doctor confirmed his worsening symptoms and not the desperate hopes she clung to about his improvement made Jungkook take care of his diagnoses independently.

He couldn’t stand the sight of her spirit and hope dying alongside him.

Jungkook hadn’t changed doctors before, but he couldn’t exactly make the ten-hour trip back to Busan for every appointment or check-up; that would be an absolute hassle; besides, he had an illness to cure. He couldn’t necessarily afford many distractions, and he needed to consume what little energy he had left for his research. He couldn’t take time off once every two weeks just to get an apologetic look and poorly hidden pity from a doctor or nurse three towns over. So, Jungkook allowed his primary provider to share his medical history and current treatment plans with this new doctor.

A knock on the door, followed by a gruff sounding “Mr. Jeon?” Was the only warning Jungkook got before the doctor entered. The woman seemed to be approximately in her late thirties, visible tiredness hanging from the slight discolouration underneath her eyes. Hair tied into a bun, with curtain-like bangs poking out and framing her face. Sharp, pointed ears sported elegant but subtle jewelry, making a bold guess Jungkook might assume the doctor was a fairy. Based on the pointy ears, the natural grace with which she sat down, and the purely calming—settling aura she gave off.

It was a stereotype Jungkook wouldn’t admit to socially. Still, it was relatively common that fae, witches, fairies, and elves focused their attention on healing and the general health of the magical society. But Jungkook couldn’t necessarily refute that stereotype, considering that he’s a part of it.

“I’m Sook Geumseong, and I’ll be your doctor for the foreseeable future. I have taken a look inside your medical history and treatment plans sent to me by your previous doctor, Mr. Jee.” Jungkook nodded absentmindedly, trying to snap out of the taciturn mindset he always entered when in a hospital. It wasn’t his fault ; he didn’t want to be here, after all. It was simply easier to nod and drift off than currently be present.

Geumseong nodded, making a slight hum as she spun in those small half-stools with wheels at the bottom. She typed a few curt sentences into her computer, the soft clicking of the keyboard doing little to put him at ease.

“Any new symptoms that have occurred within the last two weeks?” She asked, gaze now locked onto his. Suddenly, Jungkook got the impression that Geumseong was a very efficient person.

He nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat as he pulled up his sleeve. There, against his pale skin—an unfortunate side effect from his illness—stood imposing black veins along his left wrist. That morning, when Jungkook had been woken by his alarm and Balam. He had nearly refused to leave his bed; the temptation to hide and sulk within the comforts of his downy fortress was impossible, especially with Balam swiping at his face.

The freshness of his confrontation with Seokjin, Namjoon, Jimin, and Taehyung stuck fresh in his mind and body. Brain-wracking senselessly over everything he had said, over everything he hadn’t said, or everything he could’ve said. Body, an accumulation of relief, heaviness, and bitterness, and an odd sense of guilt . Because throughout the jumbled mess, he could still hear Seokjin choke on his sob. Blinking, Jungkook could see Jimin's reddened cheeks and raw-bitten lips. And although it had somehow fulfilled him during that moment, Jungkook hadn’t felt satisfied.

Seeing Jungkook's hyungs, his old lovers , in pain didn’t relieve his own. It didn’t mend the six years spent sulking and healing, bandaging wounds that had just started scabbing over. Seeing his hyungs again, they’ve all been reopened. But yelling and spreading more grief didn’t help him in finding more bandaids or bandages, and it didn't provide him with a sling or crutch. It just left everyone aching, and Jungkook felt so tired of hurting.

It was the sound of a knock, knuckles hitting against the wooden door, that prompted him to sit up. For a moment, tense and nervous that one of them would enter. Jungkook couldn’t afford to lose the little safe space he had left. But that didn’t happen; the sound of someone clearing their throat was slightly muffled against the wall between him and whoever was outside.

“I—I’ll leave your breakfast outside. I know you said not to call you for breakfast or anything, but—well, you didn’t eat dinner, so—” Jimins voice mumbled, rambling on as Jungkook could practically picture the blonde wringing out the end of his shirt nervously as he talked.

It was the short, hiss-like voice of Yoongi that he could distantly make out. “Jimin, let him be now!”

Balam had perched herself back on his desk, tail swaying as she glanced at the door before back at him. It amused Jungkook because if she could, she’d probably be scowling with a raised brow at their behavior. It also reminded Jungkook that their late-night fiasco must’ve been passed on to the two absent witches.

It was good to know Yoongi still understood and respected personal space as much as he had done back then, too.

But Jungkook hadn’t heard the sound of footsteps padding away, only the silence as he anxiously waited for any sound to indicate Jimin's departure.

“There’s so much I want to say, Jungkook I—”

“Jimin!”

A pause, the sound of a sharp inhale, and ruffling outside the door followed.

“Have a good day, Jungkook. Drink lots of water and stay hydrated, yeah?” Jimin finished, the subtle sound of defeat infiltrating his tone before the sound of footsteps told Jungkook of Jimin's departure.

Once Jungkook was sure Jimin and no one else was in the hall or nearby, he opened the door. Gawking at the tray that stood before him, a small bowl with what he assumed to be miso soup, steaming gently beside another small bowl of rice and a side of banchan. He picked it up, kicking the door closed gently behind him with the heel of his foot. Walking over to his table, he sat the tray down. An uneasy feeling settled inside his stomach, making him subconsciously gnaw on his lip piercing. Along the tray was a folded piece of paper, folded in half, the cardstock material stood up. It was noticeable and a part of him dreaded the message that could be written on the note.

“Breakfast in your room?” Balam questioned, but that tone of her voice gave hint to her subtle disapproval. It was clear that although she encouraged Jungkook to take his time with handling his situation, she didn’t necessarily approve of his hiding habits.

Nodding numbly, Jungkook felt conflicted. Somehow, it felt as if accepting the meal would also be him accepting the small gesture of apology. But Jungkook didn’t accept their apology, no matter how exactly their remorse was shown.

Letting the food sit on his desk, he eventually grabbed the note meant for him. Sitting on the edge of his bed, stomach tied in knots, Jungkook was about to fold the paper open properly when a spine-curdling sight crossed him. There, where his hoodie hiked up at his movements, showed his wrist, but unlike the usual assortment of small blue, green, or maybe purple veins, now stood in terrifying vividness—thick, black veins. The dark lines faded into his palm, most prominent around his wrist and a little down his forearm before fading. They were spreading.

Jungkook knew what this meant, but it was such a rapid change from two weeks ago. Why hadn’t he noticed earlier? Grabbing the end of his now rolled-up sleeve, Jungkook roughly pulled the fabric back up. Covering the sight, he leveled his breathing. Perhaps it was his own fault to be so caught off guard. He had noticed the gradual change in his skin; once tanned and healthy-looking, it had now grown pallid and dry. That happened weeks ago. The note, now long forgotten, fell beside him onto the mattress as he jumped to get ready.

Which is how he had found himself here, sitting in front of his doctor, Geumseong, slowly rolling up his sleeve. He didn’t even notice the chill all hospitals came with like usual; no, his body was cold. A part of him wasn’t sure if that was a byproduct of his fear and anxieties or another symptom. Presenting the disturbing sight of black arteries replacing his blue ones. The doctor didn’t need to say much; the subtle, sharp intake of air was enough.

This wasn’t a good sign.

“Have these appeared anywhere else?” Her straightforward, authoritative voice questioned.

Shaking his head, he watched as a small flicker of relief flashed within the doctor. But it was quickly replaced with what he assumed to be pity; they both knew what this meant.

“We’ll have to double your treatment plan, replace it from every two weeks to one.” Nodding, Jungkook let out a long, tired sounding sigh.

“You’re all set, Sir; take as much time as you need.”

The dizziness eventually diminished, that signature odd tingling leaving from his fingertips and feet. The debilitating weakness that would usually follow faintness gradually said its goodbyes and the signature ding from his phone alerted Jungkook to a notification.

Reaching out to his phone, he managed a weak smile at Yugyeom's text notification. Upon their last meeting, the two friends hurriedly exchanged numbers. Jungkook still felt in slight shock, or rather, disbelief, that Yugyeom held no resentment or reclusiveness towards him. No, it was like he and Jungkook had never parted.

Yugyeom:

“Has your appointment finished? I’ll pick you up! Mark suggested we go to Enchanted Brews. The café just opened up, and since you’re in town right now, I thought we could eat lunch?”

Smiling slightly, the message reminded him of the café visits he’d indulge in with his Halmoni. Besides the old witch and Yugyeom, no one knew about his condition. In some ways, it was comforting to have his closest friend be there for him. It filled him with a fluttery, light warmth, similar to when one would get to bask in the warmth of golden hour. It felt good.

Somewhere in this cold body of his. There was a subtle warmth. Similar to when the meadows get covered in a layer of thick, frosty ice. Making a once lush field plane, berron, and monotone in its white colors. But then, as the first primrose pokes its head out to greet the warming air. Jungkook, too, felt something bloom subtly within him.

Jungkook:

“Just finished; I'll be outside in a minute.”

It was bizarre, the feeling of knowing someone was waiting outside the hospital for you. It made the lingering smell of rubbing alcohol and sterilizing cleaners escape his senses sooner. Slowly lifting his body in an upright position, he slung his legs over and off the hospital bed. Waiting a moment as if to challenge the dizziness to return before he slowly stood up. Patting down his pockets—these appointments always made him so forgetful—before heading out. Back down the hall, past closed-doored rooms.

A lingering thought washed through him as he walked—as if the very words he formulated were written in sand. Will I die here—among these sad, dreary walls of white? Although most of his wardrobe consisted of black, Jungkook loved color. The vibrancy of life was stunning, a combination of pure, raw beauty that had no benefit to gain from its resplendent nature. What did the sky gain from painting the heavens? When a bunny hops between the blades of a thriving meadow, what does the grass gain from its rich shade of green? Or the poppies from their dying red?

Color was a sign of life, and when Jungkook walked along these erie corridors, past the reception with faded pink chairs. A sense of urgency, a need tugged him forwards.

He will not die here.

Opening the front glass door of the hospital, a breeze of fresh air fanned his skin. Somehow, it felt welcoming. As if greeting him back to the world of the living, even in its freshness, threatening to tint the tip of his nose pink, he welcomed its presence with open arms.

“Jungkook!”

And just as those solemn words were carved into the sand, the sight of Yugyeom, smiling at him from across the street, was like a wave, crashing against the shore and washing them away.

No, Jungkook would most certainly not die here.

Yugyeom had crossed the street, a slight skip or pep to his step as he sauntered over. A smile, genuine and significant, was displayed across the witches' features. A contagious happiness that seemingly infected Jungkook within minutes, the usually brooding sickly witch breaking his misanthrope-like persona rather quickly. Yugyeom had hooked his arm against the crook of Jungkooks, leading him down the street and away from the hospital.

The town adjacent to the university was quaint and consisted of considerably more foot traffic than vehicular. The streets beside the sidewalk are no longer a flat pavement but a combination of closely arranged cobblestone.

“How’d your appointment go?” Yugyeom asked, breaking their streak of idle chit-chat. At least, Yugyeom considered the topic of his coven—one Jungkook knew nothing about— idle . He was reeling; the thought of having missed the moment of Yugyeom finding his own soulmates left a bitter taste on his tongue and a sinking feeling in his gut. He had missed it . He had missed hearing about their first meeting, had missed Yugyeom's first date, and had missed the day the witch completed the bonding ceremony with his soulmates.

It made the words of abandonment echo inside his soul, his mind reeling on the fact that, effectively, he was a stranger. Yugyeom had been okay with him leaving, or rather, hadn’t stopped Jungkook from leaving. But the sickly witch felt uncertain how deep that okayness actually went.

“—Jungkook? Hello, earth to Jungkook?” Yugyeom called out, drawing out the words theatrically as he stopped. Waving his other hand in front of Jungkook's face, successfully snapping the witch out of his guilty stupor.

Yugyeom, unaware of the heavy turn Jungkook's feelings went, snickered, amusement clear in his expression. “Where’d you run off to this time?”

“I’m sorry, Yugyeomm.”

Just like with his first apology, Jungkook watched as Yugyeom's carefree smile turned crooked and forced before resigning to its fate entirely.

“You already apologized, and I already told you that it’s fine—” The witch began, but a shake from Jungkook's head hauled him to a stop. Throughout their time, Yugyeom learned through the rare times Jungkook would talk to let him express what he needed to before jutting back in.

“It’s not, though. I’m sorry, I really am Yugyeom. I missed so many special moments in your life; you were there for me. But I wasn’t there for you.” He began, for a moment, not meeting his friend's gaze, inhaling sharply as he collected his thoughts before returning to those clear, bordering eyes. “I can’t,” He began, his own face contorting into one filled with regret. “—can’t change that. But I can promise you now that I’ll be there.” Grabbing Yugyeom's hand, he gave it a gentle squeeze when he finished his sentence. A silent, physical reminder that he was actually there. That he meant it.

“And I’ll be staying, Yugyeom. I’m done hiding; I’m done running. I want to be a part of your life again. If you still want me to be in it, of course—”

Jungkook's words were cut off by the force of which Yugyeom hugged him, the witch's arms wrapped around his neck. Momentarily knocking the air and his words out of him. It took Jungkook a moment to process, his own arms hovering over Yugyeom's back. Before the sick witch fell into the embrace, hiding his face in his friend's shoulder—arms snaking tightly around Yugyeom, as if the witch would slowly evaporate within his hold.

“Oh, Jungkook, I missed you,” Yugyeom admitted, the words making Jungkook's arms tighten as he exhaled shakily. Yugyeom's jacket muffled the sound.

“Whatever the world holds for us now, let’s face it together again, yeah?” Yugyeom suggested, a hopeful tone dominating the otherwise emotional voice Yugyeom spoke with.

Unwilling to shed tears in public, Jungkook nodded. Letting out a sad, wet chuckle. “Yeah, let’s face it together.”

The rest of the walk was subtle and easy-going, the sight of what Jungkook assumed to be the cafe approaching. It had a similar style to his Halmonis bookstore in that the bottom floor was styled differently, the second floor remaining simple and most likely only serving as an apartment. The block the establishment was located in split the road, creating a Y formation where the streets parted ways. The store was, literally, a corner store. A set of two doors, blunket in color, provided entry to the cafe. Adjacent to the doors were carved, varnished wood beams with a deep but aged appearance with two large rectangular patterns carved into the panelling. The designs were growing much darker, nearly black in color from age. Nailed against the wooden beams was a black picture frame displaying the menu. The sides of the cafe, besides the large, open windows, had its wooden frame painted a matt black. Over the entrance doors was a neatly hidden wooden ledge, an extended assortment of vines growing down onto either side of the doors. The bougainvillea and purpleleaf grape vines mingling well with the otherwise green foliage, it almost gave off the appearance that the entry to the cafe was somewhat hidden. The plants were supposed to remain above striped, black, and white awnings; however, the vines had grown bulky and already begun to stretch over the protective fabric.

The cafe was clearly busy, bustling with customers inside and out. Small, circular tables and woven chairs hugged closely to the outside of the store were already occupied. Entering the cafe, the overpowering aura of magic filled Jungkook's lungs with a quick glance around the otherwise lively space. He watched how brooms swept the floors by themselves, washcloths wiping over vacated desks, dirty dishes collecting themselves and floating into the kitchen. Once again, the sight of such mundane magic made Jungkook's heart swell. Although he can no longer indulge in magic himself, being able to observe it, practically living all around him, felt somewhat consoling.

The cafe had its charm, mimicking the same aesthetic as its outside within the store. Matt blacks, rich varnished woods, and plants decorated their surroundings. A black, spiraling staircase stood beside the end of the counter. Leading to a second floor, which remained open and covered only one half of the remaining cafe. Delicately designed railings line the open wall. The occasional lamp, chandelier, or lined LED gave off a warm orange light. Mixed with the dominant scent of grounded coffee beans and vanilla, Jungkook knew he’d visit this place more often. Walking over to the counter, Jungkook couldn’t help but smile a little as the fae took their orders. The sight of two large, ivory wings resembling those of a bird. Pointed ears, adorned with hanging jewelry, and pale skin. Within the midst of Busan, Jungkook hardly ever saw a lot of magicals. Sure, the occasional creature here or there. But it was no secret to anyone that magicals preferred to stick together, making small towns like these heavily populated with all kinds of magical folk. It made Jungkook feel strangely at home.

With their orders placed, Yugyeom and he sat down at an available table. They had chosen a table on the second floor, hugging the railing and giving them a good view of the interior design and general clientele of the cafe.

“You know, you never did answer my question.” Yugyeom chimed in, having taken off his jacket and draping it over the back of his chair as he settled in.

Perking up, Jungkook shook his head as he shrugged. “Which question would that be exactly?” He mused, tone playful and a little jokingly exasperated.

“About how your appointment went,” Yugyeom reminded, and if he had seen Jungkook tense at the clarification, he hadn’t mentioned it. A long, calculated sigh escaped the sickly witch as he mulled over his thoughts and words. Having Yugyeom support him was a bittersweet but heartwarming feeling. But again, Jungkook found himself wanting to spare his friend from the gory details. There was a pause in conversation, Yugyeom clearly giving Jungkook the time he needed to formulate his response.

“Well, the procedure itself went fine.” Jungkook began, debating silently whether or not to keep his answer at that. But a glance at Yugyeom and a resolved shake of his head, Jungkook confessed.

“I’m, well—I’m getting worse.” He watched as Yugyeom inhaled sharply, his friend's chest filling with air and keeping it there for longer than necessary. A shaky, broken exhale followed soon after. But Jungkook was stuck trying to formulate his words in a way Yugyeom understood; unlike Jungkook, who had studied Astrobiomedicine for the past years and understood complex medical procedure terms and certain biological cell structures going on within him, Yugyeom didn’t. Jungkook knew from experience that adding large, imposing words to anxious confusion simply made things worse.

“Jungkook, will..” Yugyeom drawled out his words, looking away at the patrons below them as he seemingly swallowed a lump within his throat. “Will you be okay?”

Before Jungkook could answer that question, he was unfortunately interrupted by two flying porcelain mugs and two plates carrying a slice of strawberry shortcake. Their earlier placed orders floated towards them before gently landing on the table before them; the subtle smell of vanilla and latte, along with the warm breath of steam lightly kissing his face, Jungkook found himself relaxing a little.

“Yugyeom,” He began, his town a practiced level of clarity and stillness. “Nexus entropy develops in stages. But at its core, it develops when your magic grows unstable. The mana begins to attack itself, gradually becoming more corrosive as the disease develops.” Taking a sip from his latte, Jungkook let the bitter taste of espresso settle him. Glancing at Yugyeom to check if he was following, a curt nod from the witch was all he needed before continuing.

“Of course, there are all kinds of side effects throughout this process.” A dry, humorless chuckle escaped him. Recalling the restless nights spent in bed, tossing and turning because his entire body ached. Or the times when he would lose nearly all of his energy, spending days absolutely bedridden and at the mercy of his Halmonis hellish soups and regenerative concoctions. The spouts of nausea, vertigo, heat and cold flashes, headaches, the list was excruciatingly endless.

Sometimes, in his delusional state, he imagined Yoongi sitting by the end of his bed. Hand resting firmly on his ankle, a distant but reassuring touch, similar to how when he had gotten sick at the end of his first year. The stoic witch had feigned nonchalance at missing the ceremony—where the present witches graduated into a higher class—and remained by his side. Yoongi didn’t say much during those times, but Jungkook didn’t need him to. Whenever a cough would wrack through him, leaving him hunched over and wheezing slightly, that red string connecting their hearts would tug, needily, silently prompting Jungkook to lift his drooping head and look at Yoongi. To confirm to the older—secretly worried—witch that he, too, would be alright.

Jungkook still recalled his sheer surprise as he was startled awake, not even having realized he was nodding off until the door was nearly slammed off its hinges. His soulmates had ushered in, all still wearing their traditional ceremonial robes; if Jungkook didn’t feel like he had just trudged through the moors by himself, he would have smiled at their urgency to return to him. Yoongi, unlike Jungkook, was very unamused by the intrusion. Berating the others for waking him after having just dozed off. Everyone was there, in their tight two-bed dorm room, even Taehyung. That night was spent by six powerful witches desperately fighting the little gremlin that was Jungkook's cold. Namjoon constantly realigning or replacing the cold towel over his forehead, Jin having gone off before retrieving a steaming bowl of soup, Hoseok nudging a pillow behind his back and helping him sit up before subsequently feeding the steaming bowl of soup to him. Jimin was gently massaging his sore muscles, chatting aimlessly since the witch knew how much Jungkook hated silence. Surprisingly, Taehyung had helped with the conversation, helping in his own, reserved way. Yoongi, throughout all of this, had not let go of his reassuring hold on his ankle.

But opening his eyes, Jungkook would always be greeted by the sight of his white ceiling. The rhythmic patter of rain hitting his windows would never soothe him like Jimin's theatric gossiping, nor would soup ever cure what he has.

Clearing his throat to get back on track, Jungkook leaned his elbows against the table. “Well, I’m sure you know how mana works. Although it's spread throughout your entire body, it is most dominant within the bloodstream. Hence, when powerful magicals get injured, their powers quickly diminish along with them.” He made a slight motion of his hand, gesturing to his body as he explained their basic biology. Not because Yugyeom was dense or misinformed but simply because Jungkook remembered Yugyeom nearly failing their biology class.

“When mana becomes–” He paused, trying to find the right words for Yugyeom. “—Corrupted?” He settled on that, waiting to absentmindedly rub his cold thumb over his wrist. “It becomes visible; it turns black.”

Watching Yugyeom's eyebrows furrow with untold questions, Jungkook rushed to explain. “It’s kinda like when we cast a detection charm, and the magic surrounding you gives off a colorful aura? Dark magic usually has a red or black atmosphere, not because it has gained sentience and wants to appear all brooding and edgy, but because it's dangerous. Spells with red auras are that way because the spell caster sacrificed something to conjure it. Black auras aren’t given something; they take something. Similarly to how the color black absorbs the wavelengths of light.” Jungkook prayed to the gods that his explanation made sense. He wasn’t used to explaining his diagnosis; his Halmoni knew because the doctor had explained it to her for him. No one else knew. Well, besides Yugyeom.

Taking a moment to pause, Jungkook let his friend process his abbreviated explanation. “My veins are turning black because the mana inside me is consuming itself.” Jungkook's magic, his essence, was killing itself. Subsequently, taking Jungkook with it.

Yugyeom had stilled somewhat before beginning to pick at his slice of cake anxiously. No longer lifting pieces to his mouth but instead gently nudging a cut strawberry across the white porcelain.

Guilt crept up on Jungkook like an old acquaintance, tapping his shoulder before becoming his companion once more. He had never been able to forget the glassy eyes of his Halmoni, her gray eyebrows contorted and expression low. Seeing Yugyeom like this reminded Jungkook of the sheer helplessness he felt in those moments. Because what should he say? He couldn’t promise a brighter future, especially since he wasn’t sure if he’d even have one.

But the urge was there, persistent and relentless. Clearing his throat, he pulled the lost Yugyeom back towards him. Unable to bear the burden of those far-off gazes. “Do you know what a centrifuge is?” With a shake of Yugyeom's head, he continued, “Well, it's a machine that basically separates heterogeneous mixtures into their various components. Humans use a centrifuge to separate red blood cells, platelets, and plasma. The red cells are then transferred back to the human.”

Jungkook shrugged off his jacket, folding down the soft woolen ring around his neck to reveal a skin-colored bandaid. “Something similar happens to me; they take my corrupted blood—” He then moved to scrunch up the left sleeve of his black turtleneck until he reached the juncture of his arm. A bright turquoise self-adhesive bandage, bulging slightly where the wool swab laid underneath, “and transferred the “clean” blood back into my body. Devoid of any mana.” Pulling his sleeve back down and correcting his turtleneck, Jungkook leaned back against his chair with a tired sigh.

“The procedure takes about four hours.” He stated, watching Yugyeom's mouth gape. The witch had been awfully silent throughout his entire lecture, and Jungkook couldn’t really blame him. He wouldn’t be faring much better if he had just found out his best friend had a terminal illness and then gotten a crash course in said illness only a day later.

He should be in the lab right now. Jungkook thought absentmindedly, although even his own thoughts were laced with a bit of bitterness. Meeting with Yugyeom would never feel like a waste of his time, it just felt like something he didn’t have at the moment. He didn’t have any time left to spare.

“I—” His words choked him, their heaviness preventing him from pushing them from his tongue. He wanted to gag. “In order to give myself time, the mana inside me needs to be removed.” He repeated, frowning deeply. “I don’t really have any magic anymore.” He whispered, blinking rapidly to prevent the wetness clouding his eyes from spilling over. Mana was a part of a witch's soul. They were made of it. To be without mana— without magic , was a witch's equivalent to being a wanderer without a soul. Incomplete.

Before Yugyeom could shed a tear, something Jungkook now realized was a genuine threat. He reached out, plucking one of Yugyeom's hands and encasing it tightly within his own. He rubbed his thumb over the warm skin, a taunting contrast to his own, lifelessness. Lifting his head, Jungkook locked his gaze in with his friends—a steel-like, determined look and tone accompanying his promises.

“But don’t worry, Yugyeom, I might not have magic now. But I don’t need it at the moment either. I have enough time till the end of the year, and by then—” An auspicious smile graces Jungkook's features, “I’ll have a cure.”

A moment of silence, the nonsensical chatter, and gossip of other patrons felt distant, swallowed by a wave neither of them could see. The sound of silverware greeting porcelain, the coffee bean grinder below them, the opening and closing of the front doors. It all felt so distant as if Yugyeom and he were part of a much more melancholic reality. Before Jungkook's running nerves could force the silence away, Yugyeom spoke, “Promise?”

Now, Jungkook wasn’t in the habit of making idle promises. To swear on something he wasn’t certain about. To lie for comfort was never his style.

With a nod, Jungkook sighed. “I promise, Yugyeom.”

Internally, Jungkook hoped this wouldn’t be the first time he’d break a promise.

Yugyeom seemed satisfied with that answer before covering his face in the palm of his hands and sighing dramatically. “I leave you alone once! Once Jungkook.” He joked, pulling his face out of his hands and collapsing against the back of his chair exasperatingly.

And Just like magic, the tension between them faded into the air like steam. Finding himself relaxed, Jungkook lifted his now lukewarm latte to his lips, sipping on it with a new sense of appreciation. It finally gave him the right deck of cards to be the one asking the questions. With a mischievous smirk, he pointed towards Yugyeom vaguely.

“So, is that coven of yours responsible for that purple hickey on your neck?” Jungkook asked, tone casual and nonchalant as he poorly hid his mischievous gaze. Yugyeom blinked, once, twice, before slapping his hand onto the crook of his neck harshly. The sound made a few customers glance their way briefly, all bearing different levels of intrigue or confusion. Jungkook's shoulders slightly shook with how desperately he was holding in his own laughter. The heated look of Yugyeom before the witch grabbed their bag, rummaging through it before grabbing a small compound mirror and checking the validity of Jungkook's teasing.

Upon finding the dark, bruised love bite, the witch flushed. Grabbing some concealer and dotting it onto the spot, he tried to salvage a quick cover-up as he rubbed the pigment in. “And how long were you planning on sitting on that information?” Yugyeom asked a hiss to his tone. It was a fake kind of heat, even if Jungkook wasn’t familiar with it already; the slightly amused curling of Yugyeom's lips gave the flustered witch away.

Shrugging, Jungkook chuckled. “We were having a moment.”

“You brat.”

Jungkook laughed, rolling his eyes as he finished his latte. Yugyeoms feathers successfully ruffled, he could relax again. Watching his friend settle back down, putting away the compact and concealer with a bemused expression. “But seriously, tell me more about your coven.” He nudged, desperately wanting to make up for lost time.

Jungkook wasn’t exactly sure what caused his feelings of bittersweet nostalgia, the way Yugyeom lit up at the mention of his coven or the fact that the love-drunk witch couldn’t stop himself from gushing about them. Pushing those feelings aside, Jungkook felt himself feel happy for Yugyeom; his coven, a total of six members excluding the witch, sounded perfect for Yugyeom.

They seemed to make him very happy.

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