#jewish things

[fuzzytheduck]

I think a lot of Americans have a hard time grasping the idea of Jewish indigeneity because they dont know where their own ancestors came from. Maybe they'll have vague ideas like German, Italian, or Irish, but what they know has very little bearing on their day-to-day lives. They don't dress any different, they don't speak the language their great grandparents spoke, they don't hold regular ceremonies and rituals that harken back to the old days.

The idea of an ethnic group maintaining a constant identity over thousands of years is patently absurd to them. "You're telling me you're still mourning something the ancient Romans did? That's ridiculous! Clearly you've fallen for modern Israeli propaganda, otherwise you're deliberately arguing in bad faith in order to justify land theft and genocide!"

It's very frustrating, because when I say these things I do not say them in bad faith. My friend once said "it's a very American thing not to understand large timescales", and I think she was right on the money. The process of American assimilation has cut peoples ties to their ancestors to such a degree that they can no longer comprehend a continuous identity spanning millennia.

So I'm going to say this in the clearest language I can:

There is a genuine, historically provable, continuous connection from ancient Israelites to modern Jews. By the laws and customs of those ancient Israelites I am one of them. Let me reiterate. I am an Israelite, a Hebrew, like from the Bible, and the fact that my identity has been so mythologized and talked about as if it's a thing of the past will never change that.

[scottstiles]

Dear God, did you have to send me news like that, today of all days? I know, I know we are The Chosen People, but once in awhile, can't you choose someone else?

[fanchonmoreau]

Had someone very seriously suggest to me that you could bake latkes to make them healthier and I was like. absolutely not. the oil is the point. the oil burned for eight days and eight nights and gave us light to see by. it is still possible, against all odds, to live in a time of miracles. the oil is the point.

[stereotypicaljewishmother]

This is just self obsessed.

Making it sound like Zionists are Nazis who are hunting you down and plan to put you in gas chambers, because you disagree them.

Making it sound like rabbis because they acknowledge Israel importance to Jews are some evil devils.

Yeah this totally isn’t odd. 

[the-lesser-light]

Inhale some of that Jewish Water.

I DID IT.

I have been before the beit din and dunked in the Mikvah!

I also got to nerd out with one of the Rabbi and talk about Jewish Comics. It was win win for everyone!

I'm so emotional and exhausted but here we are! Officially Jewish!

[bigfootboyband]

As Halloween approaches, I’ve been seeing many very talented makeup artists recreate the face of the bride in Tim Burton’s “The Corpse Bride.” I thought this would be a good oppertunity to make some art and remind one and all that the “The Corpe Bride” (known in some tellings as “The Finger” or “The Demon in the Tree”) is a beloved Jewish folktale. Folklorist Howard Schwartz traces the orgins of “The Finger” to 16th century Levant. Aftrer hundreds of years of retelling, the story, like all folktales, has undergone many iterations and also became highly informed by the violence of life in the Pale of Settlement (specifically towards women and young brides).

If you'd like to support me, you can do so here <3

[swordsoprano]

did someone ask for yom kippur memes? no? too bad, you’re getting them anyway

[fortunatelychaoticphantom]

There is a horrible and heartbreaking joy in blocking antisemits on tumblr. It feels like a release, a temporary relief and a false sense of progress and security as if I could somehow cleanse my feed and the entire internet from the evil of the world, simultaneously knowing that they are never gone, just out of sight, their hatred achoing and magnifying against the cruelty of their peers. But I keep pushing the block button, watching the block list grow endlessly, finding fewer and fewer people to follow, feeling more and more alone. A tiny act of self-preservation against the onslaught of hatred for simply being alive.

[fromgoy2joy]

Poking around someone’s tumblr blog to see if they’re normal about Jews before I follow them:

[amyisraelchaiforever]

genuinely curious about this.

first three are for matrilineal/patrilineal jews, last three are for converts. pls pick the correct one to avoid data mixture! convert is already converted or in the process!

so...

if you're a goy (not jewish), please don't vote!!

i actually have wavy/curly hair...it changes day to day, lol :D

[jewishvitya]

Absolutely love this.

The word Sukkot in Hebrew is spelled backwards.

I read it as tuchus. As in, Yiddish for butt.

It's not how it would be spelled in Yiddish but that was where my mind went.

[nevermindirah]

another thing about Monkey Man. it goes hard against Hindu nationalism, at least from what I understand, which is mostly in its parallels and coordination with Zionism. which is great bc ethnonationalism is fascist bullshit that deserves to be kicked in the face. the kicking in the face is prodigious, but this movie doesn't stop there, and for that it's so precious to me.

Monkey Man says Hindu nationalism is fascist bullshit at the exact same time as it shows Hinduism as a source of joy and strength and comfort for several characters including the lead. it doesn't in any way imply that fascists using Hinduism for fascism inherently taints Hinduism. these ways of relating to divinity and these cultural stories and these family traditions are beautiful and messy and challenging and worth wrestling with and worth claiming and reclaiming and sharing with the next generation. Kid ends the movie with the prayer his mother taught him on his lips.

what a thing to see right before Passover as some of my people are carrying out a genocidal war and claiming it's in our people's name.

[angryjewishcockroach]

I have been thinking about this video nonstop since I first saw it on Instagram. I hope everybody has a very happy tuchus!

[Video ID: A Jewish woman (Rabbi Yael Buechler, @midrashmanicures on Instagram) speaks to the camera: We have reached a new low in holiday product fails. This treat box is for Sukkot. It's featured on Amazon and Sukkot is a holiday that doesn't get a lot of love so kudos for having a product for Sukkot. It says Happy Sukkot and in the Hebrew it says--wait for it--tuchus! Happy tuchus! Tuchus is Sukkot spelled backwards. The product clearly wasn't vetted in the Hebrew. This other treat box just says Tuchus. I'm thinking we should create some sort of governing body that "certifies" Jewish holiday products as being "kosher" because this is a new low. Anyway I want to wish you all a very happy Tuchus." The first box she shows is pale green decorated with images of apples, pomegranates, and branches and the words "happy sukkot" and תוכוס. The second treat box is pale orange with a similar motif and the word תוכוס. End ID]

[stereotypicaljewishmother]

I’m sorry not is this incredibly antisemitic, defeats their whole purpose by calling Palestinians arabs, but I can’t take anything seriously that claims all the way back in the 1940’s the IDF trained rhinos.

Which is as absurd as it is hilarious. Mostly because of two things.

One, that the IDF didn’t exist until 48, and you know it would have taken years to train rhinos, so why didn’t they mention any of the other groups existing in the land pre statehood?

Two, the only evidence I could find of rhinos being in Israel is a couple in a Safari park, and evidence of rhinos once living there.

I guess we just brought rhinos with us from our native habitat of the concentration camps in Poland. (For legal reasons this is a joke.) 

[makeweirdart]

People saying that the hostages (HOSTAGES) were treated well because they were smiling when they were leaving their captors is insane.

It's like durring the holocaust when the nazis brought in people to record in the work camps and the jews were smiling in the videos because it was the first time they were properly being fed.

They are leaving captivity. Of course they are happy dumbasses.

I'm so done.

[babypanther95]

So I know some people are going to hate me for being here, but whatever. I came to Israel just over a week ago to do volunteer work and let me tell you, as a Jew who lives in a place in the diaspora with very few other Jews, the amount of feeling at home and safe and *heard* (despite hearing the bang as Iron Dome worked on New Years Eve) has just been incredibly wonderful.

My husband and I are on this group trip doing volunteer work picking peppers and packing boxes for people displaced from their homes and I'm with other Jews and everywhere I turn there are other people who are *my* people!!!