#i truly don’t say that enough
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GUYS GUYS PLEASE DECORATE MY TREE <3
#if you do youre so cute i’ll love you forever#I LOVE YOU GUYSSS#i truly don’t say that enough#also doesnt matter if we’re mutuals or not#<33#— ꒰ dear diary 𖥔 ࣪˖ ꒱
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Did you think I was done? Ahahahaha no, I have more.
Because chapter 70 of MOMU gave me the very dynamic between them that I missed so much, I just blacked out and started drawing uncontrollably lmao
Also. ALSO. I noticed a while ago that Prowl has the habit of..like…constantly frowning. So. I did a bit of research and made this graph.
In 70 chapters, Prowl frowns rougly 104 times. And the intensity of this gesture is very clearly correlated with the development of his relationship with Jazz, as you can see ahahahahah It might be wrong tho don’t take me seriously I’m not good with graphs
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#jazzprowl#fic fanart#momu fanart#I just#mmmmm#For the whole fic Prowl had to think twice about everything Jazz says#every information could end up being wrong#sometimes even without Jazz realising it#so when Prowl says#he’s trusting Jazz. it’s.#also it totally wasn’t me googling ‘believing and trusting nuance difference in english’#the moment I realised the difference I think my brain started rollercoaster loops#he can’t believe him but he found enough faith to trust him#while. YES. For the whole story Jazz couldn’t fucking be believed#list e n#Jazz did a lot of things for Prowl#fucktons of big and small gestures to show that yes he likes loves and appreciates Prowl#I’m so happy Prowl is returning this energy#like#remember that scene a while back when Jazz kissed Prowl? Cool cool okay. Did Prowl kiss him? nope. It was one sided gestures#*gesture. That kiss didn’t make me feel like it’s truly something precious because Jazz started it but Prowl didn’t do quite the same#but this👆. This feels so much more important for me. Because Prowl#who is for the whole story was mister I calculate every chance of possible betrayal. Prowl whos entire personality is to trust nobody#Prowl goes. Fuck that I trust you. You feel me?#it wouldn’t be the same if he said I love you. Because love is very much something you don’t have a lot of control over.#but to trust someone? It’s a choice Prowl had to consciously make. You see what I mean? I love it. oh fuck I ran out of tags..
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Publishing has always been a fucking nightmare, but now it’s a layer of hell. It’s not enough that writers be good at what they do. Writers have to maintain an active social media presence and cultivate a following. Be available.
They have to be conventionally attractive enough to look good enough to see on a screen, aesthetically pleasing, kind, funny, up-to-date on trends, socially aware but not so controversial that they turn off a brand from California from slapping their discount code on a video promoting a book.
They have to do all of this with no media training, with little help from the companies that are supposed to be doing this for them.
Of course, a lot of this isn't possible for say, the 40-something mother of two who teaches English at a school and writes on the side. She’s boxed out of an already complex industry that already has enough walls.
On some level, I think authors have always marketed themselves a little, but we’ve reached such a crazy point where we’re demanding the author become the influencer. Accessibility in publishing has narrowed from an inch to a sliver. And that inch was hard enough to get in as is.
#This is about traditional publishing but there’s pretty privilege and ageism in self publishing too#I can’t think of the last time I saw an up and coming author recording videos who was over thirty#And frankly that’s a shame#It could be that I’m not looking hard enough#but it’s more likely that algorithms are trained the way they are#truly I don’t think they should have to do any of that at all#And forgive me but (and I know it’s rich because I’m an artist on a platform) but art shouldn’t be at the mercy of an algorithm#Now there’s also something to be said about self publishing becoming easier and easier to achieve success in#And doors opening because of influencer status is real and makes publishing wider in a way#But that doesn’t mean it’s accessible#I’m not gonna plaster my health issues over the wall but that life is certainly not accessible to me!#are you healthy enough to write and make sure people on social media still want to like your stuff#are you mentally well enough to be your own pr#I’m sure people who have studied this have more to say and have said it better but this is what I’ve observed#writing#publishing#publishing industry
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(i kiss her again) 💜🖤
#this scene is so special to me#we talk plenty about ‘can i kiss you?’ but we don’t discuss ‘i kiss her again’ enough#laudna being at her lowest but then hearing ‘you’re not a bad person’ with such honesty and confidence#and suddenly all her walls are dropped because imogen is the only person who could say that who laudna would believe#and the only thing holding her back was that she truly doesn’t think she’s good enough for imogen but#hearing imogen say she’s not a bad person and MEAN it is enough for laudna to give in and let herself love…#ANYWAYYYY#imodna#southern gothic#imogen temult#laudna#laudna critical role#imogen critical role#laura bailey#marisha ray#imodna fanart#critical role#critical role fanart#cr#campaign 3#c3#dnd#dungeons and dragons#d&d#fanart#digital art#procreate
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#the sci files#there truly is no winning#basically it means I don’t have enough stress to keep me awake#and get this. I had a little bit of alcohol and then. had a hangover that lasted DAYS. because my body isn’t stressed enough to heal.#my body just can’t be bothered . it just keeps saying nah to every bit of stimulus#she just says nah. nah. can’t be dealing with that.
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do you think émilie agreste knew, on the day she became too weak to leave that house, that she never would again
#having a normal one. don’t worry about it#just thinking about how she never escaped even in death etc etc#do you think she knew even as she pleaded with gabriel to give up on her that he never would.#that no one truly loved her enough to heed her warnings#that adrien was going to be left alone#what must it have been like for her to grow slower and weaker and quieter until she was as still as the bed d#do you think she knew she was becoming another fixture of that house#beautiful and immovable and silent#how long did gabriel have that coffin ready in the basement. how much time did he spend building it. did nathalie help.#did emilie know where they went in those long hours she laid there dying? that they intended to keep her there -always dying and never dead?#is that why she left videos? because she knew they’d build an altar for her haunting and she had to give her ghost a voice?#i think often about gabriel saying that emilie never wanted what she deserved#i think about gabriel and nathalie not letting her die. i think about ladybug not letting chat noir die.#circles and cycles ending up right back where you started#you know. having a normal one#anna rambles#emilie agreste#thirteen
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the purposeful framing of this panel (and this entire scene of showing all the people who vash has met throughout the story) implies that wolfwood was AS important to vash as rem was. they both have had the greatest impact on him, so much so that their existence changes vash’s entire sense of morality. and rem and wolfwood, besides knives, are the only two people who vash really allows himself to love? people he wants to be with for as long as possible—when he’s so used to running away, used to going out of his way to avoid getting close to anyone. and it's just like idk *throws up violently*
#trigun#talking#trigun spoilers#i want to write actual analyses on trigun but i don’t think i’m strong enough#trigun meta#trimax#this is definitely not to say vash doesn’t love other people. he absolutely does#the guy is practically made of love. and there are plenty of other characters that are very important to him#but idk just the specific way he talks about ww i don’t think we really see that with anyone else#besides knives and rem. the way he truly just wants to be with them despite everything. for as long as possible
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It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want#or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around#I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you#and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself#it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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my romantic self-esteem is just absolutely rock-solid. for whatever reason!
#I’m a catch!#and I’m so not interested in anybody who wouldn’t demonstrably make my life better in every way#and that involves not being afraid of me or the idea of romance/marriage in general#and if you are afraid it just isn’t interesting or attractive enough for me#there was a boy a few years ago and tbh I think he liked me#and I liked him! he was cute he was intense in an endearing way#and he was smart#we argued about Taylor and then the next time I saw him he was like Christmas tree farm is a good song#(it had just come out)#and he never did anything about it and then he moved away and that is totally fine#and I wish him well.#but the crush was killed by the simple fact that he never liked me enough to say it#like truly and with all (non-romantic) love; go with God#at that point lol#that said I have never wanted marriage or children as an abstract concept#so it makes it much easier to think along these lines#it would be so devastating to want it so badly and not get it!#but I can’t even imagine summoning the desire for it in an abstract sense#I’ll meet someone and love them and then that will lead to marriage and possibly children#or I won’t#but both roads look about the same to me in terms of desire#or any desire big enough worth mentioning#not talking about the whispers or the daydreams that do sometimes intrude#but yeah I don’t think full desire would come until there was a person#and there might not be! I cannot conjure them from the deeps lol#anyway I’ll stop talking about it because I know it can be sensitive/delicate to talk about#in a public setting
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Does anyone else feel like the incinerator gun chair room from Zero Time Dilemma would have better fit C Team instead of D Team
#elaboration in the tags#zero time dilemma#zero escape#ztd#I think of this every time I watch a playthrough and get to that room#carlos ztd#akane kurashiki#junpei tenmyouji#c team#like just about any combination fits with the potential character growth both Akane and Junpei would have from it#I understand the main character is Carlos so if we were to keep it as him making the decision then I would have Akane in the incinerator#and Junpei in the chair#but if we’re going to throw ‘main character chooses’ then you could truly have either Akane or Junpei at the gun with Carlos in the chair#I say all this cuz there’s the obvious Akane incinerator parallels and I imagine it could trigger a breakdown for her#if Junpei is behind the gun would she beg Junpei to shoot Carlos to save her?#would Junpei see that Akane sees other players as pawns to save her own life? and if she doesn’t beg does it help Junpei#see the humanity in her? where he previously thought she was uncaring but here she clearly is to save Carlos at the cost of her own life#but my fave configuration is Junpei in the incinerator and Akane at the gun#it helps them see from each other’s point of view. how scared would Junpei be being in the incinerator and there’s nothing he can do#but rely on someone else? Junpei in characterized as pretty selfish in ZTD so this experience could have him empathize with Akane’s#‘selfishness’ in the previous games. realizing you’d do it too if your life was on the line#and Akane can see just how difficult it is being the one to directly have a hand in how people die or at least see their bodies.#and is it worth it to just save one person?#yes Akane’s games have a way for everyone to survive and win at the end. but in the moment the players don’t know that.#I think that configuration would do SO much for akane and Junpei to better empathize with one another during ZTD#this could’ve been a whole post but I wasn’t confident enough in my coherence to properly format it. so tags you get
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TBH this news now actually makes George being seen all over the place with Toto this off season make even that much more sense. Like I couldn’t explain before why it was causing a wiggle in my brain every time they popped up together. Like I get having a good relationship with your TP but it was starting to seem weird and now we get this news about Lewis.
WAITTT speaking of being seen all over the place, wasn’t known criminal Flávio Briatore spotted at toto’s birthday??? Does that mean FERNANDO TO MERC 2025???
I honestly believe that toto found out at about the same time Will was tweeting yesterday or else they wouldn’t have been scrambling to hold emergency meetings today. Lewis really walked into Brackley this week, saw another zero pod car and decided to return Fred’s calls
#not to add more fuel to the fire but#this kind of give credence to Christian saying that Lewis’ team reached out to them#Lewis truly was shopping around 😭#and I really hope this move works out for him even tho nothing points towards it working out#(except for it being Ferrari)#because I hope he gets his 8th but the issues with Ferrari is so deep seated I don’t think a good tp and a solid driver line up is enough#not to forget the whole il predistinato thing the tifosi has got going on and well the general culture around that team#anon.txt
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I am actually so sick of my tl on twt being flooded by complaints like be so freaking for real if you hate the game just leave stop playing it I promise it’s okay
#WAAAWAAAWAAA THEY DONT HAVE LATINO VAS#LISTEN alhaitham had a half Palestinian VA yk what he did ? BUTCHER EVERY ARAB NAME and so did everyone else#there’s other Arab vas and they too butchered their names. I hate it too#them vas being of the race the natlan characters are will NOT fix that problem ok because they can white wash the pronounciation like crazy#and yk what it’s lowkey WORSE if it’s an Arab va cause then everyone thinks that’s how you pronounce that name#when in reality it sounds as atrocious as nails on chalkboards BE FR#SMHHHHH#and it’s a new complaint every freaking day like what the heck#first it’s skin colour second it’s imaginary complaints like the vas nationality PICK A STRUGGLE#if you truly hated the game you would’ve quit. outright you would’ve quit#but the reason you don’t quit is cause the issues you claim to care so deeply about are things#you do not care ENOUGH about and hoyo has you wrapped around#their pinkies so if you’re gonna complain; then complain properly and QUIT THE GAME#I am so sick of everyone complaining and polluting the atmosphere#like yall can I say something controversial? when it was sumeru i genuinely do not care enough because it is not that bad#for the level of rep we are getting sure there’s some mistakes but if you’re gonna#sit here and whine about everything you would NEVER be satisfied#sure the inaccuracies are annoying BUT ITS ONLY MILDLY SO#now pls like … if you truly are a justice warrior quit the game alr and prove you care about these#“major issues” if I as a swana person who IS disappointed in some aspects of sumeru yet it is not that atrocious as you all claim it to be#then I think you natlan folks whining like the trumpet of the day of judgement has been blown should really pipe down a tad bit#dora daily
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me drawing a background: yeah I know what technos cabins look like! loyal posts pics of them all the time, I’ve seen plenty of dsmp, psshhh how hard can it be!
me then, flourishing, kicking my feet: lines it, gives a rough coloring to judge how it looks
me: hm I don’t really remember where the windows are though, I’ll look up a reference just to be sure
the reference: completely reversed roofs, windows in the roof, stone foundation I entirely forgot about, stairs only on technos side of the bridge
me:
me: :(
#really the true problem is me attempting to do perspective without entirely committing to it#like ohhh surely that’s enough depth I don’t need to add even MORE volume to this 3D shape#but truly the hubris got me#technoblade#lynx says things#yeah I’m dabbling in some dsmp art again and (gasp) not even phone art!! I’ve been enjoying doing art on my laptop lately#anyway. yeah it looks nicer already but STILL
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Thank u for being a billford hater ur blog is a Safe Space for those of us who hate that stupid triangle I was lowkey tearing my hair out during the stream from how much billford nonsense was in the chat thank u for being a kindred spirit, peace and love
fanks anon 🤸🏼♀️ peace n love
#source-accurate bill and ford is interesting to me for sure#but it’s the post canon redemption/argument that bill didn’t treat him badly is what really truly confuses me#also with the stream if someone wants to donate $5k for a billford drawing that will help rebuild somebody’s home#fine by me#it’s the biggest ship in the fanbase i’m not shocked#do i think that ship is ethical GOD NO but i just work here#and i don’t like getting into discourse so take what i say with a grain of salt im not smart enough to express it eloquently#but you know what i mean#it’s like nooo we have to redeem bill WHY? the whole point of his character is that he is an evil loser who wrecked ford’s life#abusive evil loser#also i think it’s funny how the cut page in the stream implies bill’s ’tragic backstory’ is entirely made up#like yall he is a FLAT CHARACTER he does not HAVE AN ARC that’s the POINT he’s irredeemable mr hirsch said it himself#therefore i fink source accurate bill and ford dynamic is fascinating but its never done right and it winds up minimizing what he did#to ford like it’s unforgivable and evil#i digress#woah crazy tags here#anyway it’s early hope this makes sense i’m rambling
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I really want to like being a woman but I don’t. But I’m not dysphoric either; I like my body fine and I don’t want to change my voice or my mannerisms or even my pronouns really. So I don’t think I’m transmasc. Sometimes I just really wish I was born and raised a man. But it’s more of an “in another life” dream kind of thing. I think it’s just internalized misogyny idk
#I guess I feel extra confused bc a lot of my friends are trans#and specifically some of my closest friends are transfem#and they like. actually LIKE being women and feel Anything about gender#whereas I just feel apathetic about it I guess?#I like being ‘feminine’ but more of the time it’s closer to like. being ‘effeminate’#which is why I always say I would probably be gay if I was born a man#but in this life I am just an aroace girl and that’s fine I guess#idk maybe this is eggposting and I’ll look back on this in a while and laugh#my friends (the aforementioned ones) always joke that I am like the world’s most durable egg#it will NEVER crack 💪 heheheha#cis-adjacent 4ever#I just don’t really care enough to transition and maybe part of that is just bc I hate everything about gender and it makes me feel sick#like I truly just wish we lived in a genderless society#but I don’t like seeing myself as non binary either or using they/them.. I’ve tried that trust me lol#and again I don’t want to take T or even socially transition or anything like that. I don’t want to be transmasc#idk. smart people pls give me advice. fix my brain pls 🙏 lol#ellyposting#wackyposting#<- bc this is silly and I’m crying about it at work again lol#also this was prompted by OCD shit I think#which I won’t go into bc it’s Silly but yeah
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I love when people complain about stevie being an unlikable protagonist. I actually think she should get even more unlikable. she should start throwing her shoes at people. she should start calling people mean names when they piss her off. she should be allowed to fire an absolutely life-altering, devastating insult at somebody at least once per book. she should be allowed to call david’s mom and snitch on him every time he does something really stupid. she should’ve gotten to call Charles an annoying serial killer to his face. she should’ve cut the brakes in Carson’s tesla or wrecked his podcast footage. stevie bell is unlikable and i hope they make her even worse. i think somebody should give her a gun
#i’m just saying if i was stevie i would have lost my shit on Somebody by now#she kinda loses her temper at Germaine a little bit in the beginning of hotw but it’s not enough#i think in the next book she should have a mental breakdown and Gone Girl everybody but then nobody’s around to solve it#so they just don’t find her and she has to come back on her own#chelsea rants#stevie bell#truly devious#box in the woods#nine liars
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