#i think. listen. kevin day is a Very practical person he does not like speaking he likes Doing

[dayurno]

asking w much love for kevi day in my heart but: can kevin be cruel? whether intentionally or not ! hes v multilayered n i must admit some of my fave parts of aftg were when he was being scathing. i liked how he balanced his immense ability to empathize w literally anyone w his more cutting side yk

oh absolutely!!! kevin can be and is cruel especially when it comes to exy!!! he’s ruthless!!!! he sees the beautiful clear line from point A to point B and he does not care about anything else except for how to get there. i dont even think kevin is much good at empathizing at all; i think the good things he does are not so much out of any empathetic feelings but rather a logical conclusion in his head that they are needed to achieve a certain goal

for example, ive never taken kevins promise to give andrew something to build his life around as kevin Empathizing with andrew — i think kevin genuinely believes andrew is worth the effort and finds it a waste of potential if andrew doesnt live up to it. he doesn’t really hurt for andrew’s woes, but he wants andrew to overcome them because it is a step needed for andrew to achieve the life kevin believes andrew deserves

i would say this is a constant theme for him with most characters except for jean (who is always an outlier whenever kevin is involved and shouldn’t be counted anyway). kevin believes in greatness and hard work and commitment and he will be cruel if he thinks you are not working hard enough to achieve it, no matter what the circumstances are. he’s very cutthroat and ruthless :) no sense of compromise at all! my princess

[knickknacksandallthat]

Hi. I absolutely adore your work and I'm patiently waiting for OIBM. If you don't mind answering, why "mon caneton"? I'm just very curious why did you pick this nickname and maybe it's significance to Jean. Hope I didn't bother you.

Have a great Day 💞💞

Hi lovey! Phew, I'm so sorry, I'm so overdue for this answer. Thank you for waiting so patiently!! There is a little story that goes with this answer, actually, and it has everything to do with how Jean first thought of Kevin when he came to the Nest. It becomes very personal to Jean, and - as you can see from the fics - becomes a lifelong nickname of his for Kevin. I won't give the whole thing away just yet, but I'll give you this quick sneak peek. (Aka, please see the first couple paragraphs of the first chapter of Place In the Sun below...)

Obligatory reminder at this point that now that TSC is out, my series no longer follows canon when it comes to Jerejean. I've done what I can to weave canon bits in, but I'd already established this universe's Jean and Jeremy's backstories in my head (and at points in the fics) so I'm sticking to the in-universe decisions I made. Hopefully that won't be too distracting for anyone who has followed along in this series. (And know that I appreciate you all for that grace 💖)

Enjoy.

The Nest, 1996 Jean Moreau hates Kevin Day. Something about the boy irritates him to no end. His chest burns when he hears him speak, sees him smile, or listens to his stupid laugh. His nails dig into his palms, leaving little half-crescent marks visible for hours afterward as he’s forced to listen to Riko and Kevin go on and on about their precious Exy. Even now, when he’s forced to sit on the sidelines of the court and watch them practice, when Kevin isn’t even saying anything due to all the sprinting Riko’s making him do, something about the mere way he breathes bothers Jean incessantly. Perhaps it’s the way he tries so hard to fit into the Moriyama household when it’s so obvious he sticks out. A clumsy, doe-eyed Irish boy running around Japanese staff, painfully trying and failing to mimic their mother tongue. It’s clear he’s desperate for their praise and attention, doing his best to be the perfect little Exy star the Master has declared him to be. Jean thinks it’s pathetic. Then there’s the way he follows Riko around blindly, looking up at the snotty boy like he hung the moon in the sky. Back in Marseille, Jean’s brothers would have beaten the shit out of such a mouthy brat on sight. But here, he’s the prince of the castle, the staff and Kevin bowing to his every whim, no matter how unreasonable. It’s disgusting. But maybe what annoys him most is how Kevin acts like they’re privileged to be here. Like Jean should be grateful that the Moriyamas took him in. Like it’s perfectly normal to sneak food scraps from the kitchen trash can at night because the staff locks the fridges, and he and Kevin are starving. Or when they have to help bandage each other’s wounds because the Master was in a bad mood and took it out on them.      Because it’s not normal. Nothing about this place is.

[wagner-fell]

I am still very new to this website and I don’t know how link a post but this fic is based on a post by @sandersgrey

(If someone reading this knows how to link a post please either explain it to me or link it in the comments because that post is *amazing*)

“Hmmm,” said Tessa, depositing Mina into Kit’s waiting arms and examining her buzzing phone critically. She shot a quizzical look in his direction.

Jem looked up from his novel. “What is ‘hmmm’, my love?”

Kit mimed vomiting but stopped dead in his tracks when she replied, “it’s Astrid’s mother. You remember her from parent teacher night, don’t you, my darling?” Kit swears they were being extra insufferable just to mess with him but he didn’t have the time to be annoyed when Astrid’s. Mom. Was. Calling. Tessa.

To understand why Kit was panicking as much as he was, you must know that Astrid’s mom was incredibly chill. She never got mad. The worst punishment she’d ever given her daughter was taking away her iPod for a week so she couldn’t listen to Mitski.

Was she calling about last night when Astrid, Mari and Kit threw eggs at the Shadowhunter’s that were giving Mari’s pack a hard time for no reason? No, that couldn’t be it. She’d given them the eggs.

Could the call be about the day before yesterday when Kit and Astrid got distracted doing homework and ended up snapping the coffee table clean in half while battling gladiator style with pool noodles? No, that wasn’t it. She’d just handed Astrid a twenty and told them to go to Kevin’s parents' shop and get a new one. Was she pissed because they ended up spending the money on ice cream instead? No, they ended up finding a table for free in the rubbing bin outside a fancy hotel.

Kit clutched his sister to his chest and prepared for the worst.

“Seo-yoon! What can I do for- Oh, hello Astrid!” Tessa paused briefly, presumably to listen to Astrid speak, and Kit sighed in relief.

“Kit is occupied at the moment but I can relay the message.” Another pause. “Oh don’t be frightened of me. I’m a tots rad mom. Your secret is safe with me.” Kit felt his face flush red as he heard his best friend’s laughter echo across the living room. “Okay! I’ll let him know. He has to get Mina to sleep before he can leave though. Lord knows he’s the only one who can these days.” Tessa chuckled at something Astrid said before wishing her good luck in her endeavour and ending the call.

She turned her attention back to Kit. “Astrid needs your help breaking into your teacher’s home to retrieve her cell phone.”

Kit blinked at her, dumbfounded. “You aren’t mad I’m going to go break the law?”

Because of course he was doing it. Astrid’s dad had bought it for her and he was extremely cautious about money. That was one of three things Kit knew about her dad. He was cheap, he lived in America and he loved the movie Fight Club.

Tessa ruffled Kit’s hair affectionately. “Please. I’ve raised two other Herondales. At least I know about this particular adventure beforehand.”

Mina began snoring softly and Kit handed her back to her mother. He grabbed his bag and started his journey to the door when Tessa added, “she also told me to say hi to a ‘daddy Kit’. Are you ‘daddy Kit?’”

‘Daddy Kit’ closed his eyes and wished for the sweet release of death.

“Why is Kit a daddy,” Jem asked, genuinely confused. “Aren’t I the daddy?”

Kit swung the door open so fast not even a speed rune could have aided him. But not before I heard Tessa reply, “Lily Chen certainly thinks so.”

Mrs. MacNamara clapped her hands together. “Why don’t we all go around and say a few things about ourselves?”

Kit buried his face into his hands. He’d been relieved when no other teacher had fulfilled the Disney channel stereotype of making every student introduce themselves to the new kid. But Mrs. MacNamara didn’t even seem to realize what she was doing.

All Kit’s fellow classmates groan. Expect one. Her hand shot up immediately. She was short, like smaller than Clary short. She wore a baggy pink shirt with the words ‘Queen Glimmer of Etheria’ sewed on with purple sequins and tight black jeans. Her colourful, choppy hair was in a low ponytail and she flew a few strands out of her eyes as her hand wiggled in the hair.

Mrs. MacNamara pointed at her. She stood up and smiled at Kit. “Hi. My name is Astrid. My hobbies include making my little cousin’s girl Barbies kiss, as it should be, and watching television shows where everyone is a terrible person so you can love all of them!”

“And what shows might that be?” asked Kit, already in the process of pulling out his phone and opening the Notes app.

“Grey’s Anatomy, Glee, Grey’s Anatomy again because it’s seventeen seasons as of right now. And to be fair it practically became a different show when they killed off Mark Sloan.”

“That’s enough, Miss Yang,” said Mrs. MacNamara. Astrid sat down and winked at Kit. Then she took out her phone and airdropped him a complete list of all her favorite shows, along with her number.

After Blessica’s pre-birthday birthday party, they went to Cirenworth and stayed up till four A.M. binging them.

They met outside a queer dry bar called Aries Not Welcome, the unspoken gathering place of the Merry Hoes. It was run by a poly lesbian couple in their mid-thirties. Quinn, Sydney and Aliyah may not have served alcohol but at least they were open 24/7.

“Did you bring the shit?”

Kit gave her a look. “The shit? How conclusive.”

“Shut up. You know, the shadowhunter thing.”

“The shadowhunter thing?”

“The, the, the glow stick that you draw with.”

“The glow stick that I draw wi-“ Kit closed his eyes briefly. “Do you mean a stele?”

Astrid snapped her fingers. “That’s it!” Kit shook his head in exasperation, smiling fondly. “I borrowed a torch from Quinn, let’s move.”

“Should I be worried that you know where Mr. Smith lives?” questioned Kit as he followed Astrid’s lead through the park.

“Should I be worried that your mom was fine with us breaking and entering?” she shot back playfully. Kit pushed Astrid and she fell off the path, laughing all the way.

“You called me ‘daddy’ to my mom’s face.”

She just laughed harder, slinging her arm around Kit’s shoulder. “It was over the phone, Christopher. And as I should.”

“Pffffttt. Why did you get your phone taken anyway?” She put her hands into her jumper pocket and looked at the ground. “Astrid.” She remained silent. “Astrid?”

She mumbled something under her breath. “What?” asked Kit.

“I WAS READING NINEJ FANFICTION!” she shouted.

Kit gasped. “I thought you were a die hard Kanej shipper,” he whispered.

“I’m a multishipper, okay?!” she replied, equally quiet.

“Does Blessica know?”

She shook her head. “And she will never find out.”

Kit saw the opportunity and he seized it. “She’ll never find out as long as you never call me daddy in front of either of my parents.”

She removed her arm from his shoulder and guided them out of the park, in the direction of the many apartments that lined this side of town. “I hate you.”

“Well, so does Mari. You're not special, Ast.”

She rolled her eyes. “You know Mari doesn’t actually hate you, right?! They’re just still in the enemy phase of your enemies-to-lovers romance. She only dislikes you because they feel something for you but they don’t know what so she interrupts it as loathing. In reality, her inner soul knows you’re hot and shmexie.”

Kit didn’t know how to process this so he just nodded and follow Astrid in silence to Mr. Smith’s house. (Plus, he was kinda glad that, according to his best friend, he had a little more time for Mari to ‘discover their true feelings’. If Kit screwed this up, he was out of countries to run off to.)

“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me.”

“What,” asked Kit, turning around to face Astrid and closing the drawer he was rifling through. “Did you find your phone?”

“Yeah. But I also found Blessica’s. She was Snapping Kevin. Platonic my ass. But he took the fucking trans flag out of her phone!”

Kit snatched Blessica’s phone out of her hand to examine it for herself. She was telling the truth. Where the glitter pride flag usually rested was just a clear purple case. Kit couldn’t believe his eyes.

“It’s one thing to misgender her every day.” Blessica had forced all four of the other Merry Hoes to sign a contract saying they wouldn’t do anything to harm him because of it. “But this is the last straw. You know what we have to do.” Oops.

“Yeah, but we don’t have any spray paint.”

Kit eyed Mr. Smith’s pink sofa, blue bar stool covers and white picture frames. “I think I have something better in mind.”

It would have been easier for both parties to just zip off the sofa cushions and tape them to the wall but by ripping them off in strips, they ensured he would have to buy new ones. And judging by the car he drove and the fiji water in his fridge, Mr. Smith could definitely afford it.

That reminded him, “I’ll finish up with this. Go put all his fiji water into my bag.” Astrid saluted him and ran off. “Wait.” She stopped and looked at him. “Steal all the remotes you can find.”

“How is he not awake?,” asked Astrid as they ripped the fabric of his seating from the stool.

He shrugged. “Don’t question it.” He shoved the bundle of cloth into her arms. “Glue this above the pink. I’ll handle the frames.”

“Say the magic word,” she sang.

“Please?”

“No. Lesbian. Come on, I thought you knew me better than that.”

Kit laughed quietly. “Can you lesbian glue this above the pink?”

She grinned at Kit. “It would be my pleasure.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hello! Sorry I haven’t written anything in so long. School just restarted and it has been…a lot.

@adoravel-fenomeno @thechangeling @the-blackdale @the-wckd-powers @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @im-not-ruined-im-ruination @ithurielkeepsgettingkidnapped @noah-herondale-lightwood @arangiajoan @shelvesofgold @maxboythedog @book-dragon-not-worm @hardlymatters

Very sorry if I forgot anyone. Lmk if you want to be addEd/removEd from the tag list.

[thestarrynightslover]

The One He Got Right

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 2,700

Warnings: None. Just a crazy amount of fluff.

Summary: Jay and (y/n) have been dating for several months now, so, when his birthday comes up, the reader wants to throw him a surprise party.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: Fluffy happy jay is my religion, that's all I'm gonna say. Also, I feel like the One Chicago universe could have a lot of surprise parties, so, if they won't give it to us, let's just indulge ourselves, right? 

As always, I hope it doesn’t suck too bad and, please, feel free to give me feedback!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

“You know, babe, I was hoping you’d be able to get the Thursday off so that we could go out and have some fun, or just stay in and cuddle. You can choose.” Jay said whilst caressing your feet in his lap.

“While that does sound good, I’m not sure I can convince my boss to give me the time off on such short notice, Jay.” You confessed with a tired sigh. “But what’s so special about Thursday for Voight to give you a day off anyway? You didn’t mention any big cases lately…” You asked your boyfriend, not missing how he started to uncomfortably shift his position on the couch.

“Uh, he said I should take the day to myself because it’s my birthday. That’s why I was hoping-”

“What???” You asked him, sitting up straight, already buzzing with excitement. “It’s your birthday in four days and you didn’t tell me???” Jay just looked at you like you were crazy.

“Well, I’m telling you now. Besides, it’s not that big of a deal. I just figured that since I’m getting a rare day off, I’d spend it with the person I love…” He tried to sound nonchalant, but you knew what game he was playing. And, honestly, you didn’t really care, because you’d always loved birthdays and holidays in general. So, if you had a chance at being with Jay throughout his, you’d take it.

“Not that big of a deal? Who are you? The Grinch? Of course, it’s a big deal, babe!” Your excitement was almost tangible. “So, tell me, what is it you want us to do, hum? Is there gonna be a party? Wait a second, have you been party-planning without me this whole time?” Your boyfriend couldn’t understand how went from too grinny to too offended in two seconds like that.

“What? Party? No! No! Not at all, baby! I really just thought we could spend some quality time together, you know, without the possibility of me getting called in at any minute…" He told you and, all of the sudden, he looked exhausted, making you feel stupid for bombarding him with your craziness like that.

"Oh, okay… Look, I'm sorry I freaked out, babe. It's just that you're such an amazing boyfriend – and everything else, really –, so, when you said it's your birthday… Let me do something?" You asked, with what you considered to be your sweetest smile. At that, Jay started chuckling lightly.

"Well, I could let you do something, but your company is already gonna be much more than just something. And that's all I could possibly want from you, princess." How could you even try to resist that man?

"Okay. Then, uh, I'll get the day off, no matter what, but… I'm still doing something!" You said with a wicked smile.

"Oh, God. Fine, just don't exaggerate, okay?" Hearing that, you gave him a look.

"Right, right. Note to self: don't exaggerate." At that point, Jay decided to just give in, which was the best he could do, since your plan was already shaping up in your head. It was going to be a long four days…

The next morning, after leaving Jay’s place, you started calling people while walking to work. The first on your list was Herrmann because there was no party without a venue. And what better venue for your boyfriend’s birthday celebration than the very place where he liked to spend so much time?

“Hi, (y/n/n)! How you doing?” Christopher asked with his usual excited voice.

“Hey, Chirs! I’m great, how are you? And how are Cindy and the kids?” First things first: to convince the petty man to let you use his bar like that, you were gonna need to be your most charming self.

“Ah, we’re all good too, thanks for asking, kid! Listen, uh, how’s everything between you and Halstead? He hasn’t shown up at Molly’s in a while…” Normally that would have gotten you worried, but this time you knew that it was because of the demanding case his unit had closed last week and then because of how he was trying to spend most of his crazy free hours with you.

“Everything’s fine, really. The thing is that he’d been a little too busy with Intelligence’s latest case and then he was a bit tired in his free time, so we’d just spend the nights in… But thank you for the concern, Chris!” By that point of your relationship with Jay, you’d met pretty much everyone who hung out at the first responders’ bar (at least everyone who was friends with your boyfriend), and it was fair to say that they all had a lot of appreciation for you. Herrmann, for example, was always trying to look after you. Treating you like a daughter. And, as sweet as that was, you were about to use it to get him to give up Molly’s for the party. “So, um, you mentioned that we haven’t been to Molly’s much lately… How’s the business going?”

“Ah, (y/n/n), look at you! Always worrying about other people! The business is going well! But you know how these things are… Could always be better.” He told you, in that very Herrmann way, always thinking ahead and making growth plans.

“Yeah… Well, you know, Jay always tells me about how much he loves it there… How much that place and the people in it, especially you, mean to him…” You threw your bait. It wasn’t exactly true, but it wasn’t exactly a lie either. You knew how much all of that meant to Jay, he never even had to tell you about it.

“Really?” You could practically hear Herrmann’s grin through the phone. “I hope he knows that we all at 51, hell, at Molly’s, see him as family too! He’s such a good kid... ” Perfect. It was now or never.

“Speaking of him knowing how much he means to us, as you know that his birthday is coming up on Thursday, I was-”

“What??? His birthday? I, I, I, ah, I didn’t know that…” Another perfect strike for you.

“Well, then I guess that makes it a bit weird for me to ask you what I was about to…” God, it was moments like this that made you think that you could've been an actress.

“No! What?! Not at all, what was it?”

“I was wondering if you could give Molly’s up for a surprise party I wanna throw for him...” You said, ripping the band-aid off, with your fingers crossed that the guilt-trip you tried to put him on would work its magic.

“Oh!” If only you could see him now! Split between wanting to show Jay how much he cared and the projections of how much he’d lose giving Molly’s up like that. “You know what? To the hell with it! Jay was one of our first regular customers and got us rid of that scumbag Arthur, so yeah! We’re doing that for him!” You wanted to scream at how perfectly your plan had worked out, but you stopped yourself as Herrmann said (for no one’s surprise): “But I’m not giving any free drinks to anyone!”

“Okay, okay, Chris.” You said laughing. “What you’re doing is enough help already! Thank you so much!”

“Nah, don’t worry about it! Just wish everyone would appreciate my gestures as much as you do, instead of complaining that I should be doing more…” At that point, you were laughing your ass off, as you couldn’t keep it inside any longer.

“Okay, then I’ll let you know when and who’s gonna need the keys to set up the decoration and stuff.” You said whilst brushing the tears away from your eyes.

“Alright, (y/n/n), I gotta go now, but I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Yeah, talk soon. Bye.” One down, some more to go.

And that's how you spent your morning: completely ignoring your work, in between calls to put Jay's surprise party in motion. You put Stella, Severide, and whoever else wanted to help them in charge of the drinks. Sylvie and Chloe were on the cake. Adam and Kevin were taking care of the food, duly supervised by Kim and Hailey, as you knew they couldn't be trusted to not eat anything before the time. You let Maggie and Ethan in charge of the decoration, along with any more help they could get at Med. And Will and Platt were going to contact Jay's other friends. You were on the tricky assignment of keeping your boyfriend in the dark about all of that until it was Thursday night. While, also, overseeing everyone's work, because, well, you were the organizer! 

To say that there were many bumps along the short period of time you had until the party was stating the obvious. Several times during those three days you got calls from Will, panicking over the fact that, every time he saw his brother, he felt an urge to scream 'Surprise!!!'. Seriously, after this party, Jay Halstead just couldn't let you out of his life, because the amount of energy it took to keep yourself from murdering his older brother... It was a clear show of love.

Still, everything went well and there were no murders. The Thursday morning came as quickly as you knew it would and, thankfully, everyone had their parts of the plan pretty much done. Which meant it was your time to shine: operation keep-the-detective-from-detecting had begun!

“So, today’s the day. Are you gonna tell me what is it that we’re doing?” Jay asked you with a soft smile on his lips.

“Yes, of course, detective. But only after we get you a proper birthday breakfast!” You told Jay while pulling him out of the apartment to go to this diner you knew he loved. When you got there, the orders were already waiting for you at your favorite table, and, being the silly bean he is, your boyfriend got pretty impressed by it.

“But, what?! How did you get them to do this? I thought they never took orders over the phone!”

“And they never do!” You confirmed with a wink, trying to hold back the laughter. Not that you could keep it inside any longer when his eyes landed on the personalized birthday wishes written on the pancakes. As much as he liked to act like a tough guy most of the time, at that moment he couldn’t help but let out his inner excited little boy.

“Oh my God! This is amazing! It’s so cute!” He beamed brightly.

“I know, I know. Now eat your breakfast, birthday boy!” You ordered with a fake look of annoyance on your face. But instead of just digging in on the food, like you’d told him to, he leaned in from across the table to press a sweet kiss to your lips.

“The day barely even started and I already know that this is gonna be one of the best birthdays of my life!” He told you, as a genuinely happy smile took over his features.

“Well, then I’m glad I can be of service.” You said, and, like that, the day passed by. You wandered, hand-in-hand, the streets of a rare sunny Chicago, had lunch by the Riverwalk, went to the movie theater, and, finally, back to his place.

“Okay, today was amazing! But, I gotta admit, I’m a bit tired… So what do you say we open a bottle of wine, order some Italian, and cuddle our way into the night, hum?” Jay asked, already sitting on the couch with his phone in hand.

“I say a big colossal no!” Hearing that, he looked at you super confused. “Because I already told Will that we were gonna meet him for a couple of beers at Molly’s.” Instead of just sighing and standing up like you thought he’d do, your boyfriend narrowed his eyes to you, in a way that showed he got suspicious of something. “What?”

“We’re gonna meet Will at Molly’s? On my birthday?”

“Yeah, why?”

“No, nothing. It’s just that, coming from you and Will on my birthday,” shit! He emphasized the birthday part again, “that doesn’t sound like just a meetup for beers at Molly’s, that’s all.” Damn it, a thousand times damn it! Why did he have to be so good? And that stupid cocky smile he had on right now was still gonna be the death of you. Before you even said anything, you knew it wasn’t gonna be very convincing, given how useless your brain seemed to be at the moment. So you could only hope that he’d turn a blind eye and just go along with it when you said:

“Well, it is just a meetup at Molly’s. And, if you must know, I only agreed to it because Will spent all day blowing up my phone with texts, saying that I stole his baby brother from him on a date that you two should always spend together.” You lied, trying to put up an annoyed façade.

“Ah, well, if that’s the case, then let’s just stay here and ignore our phones.” Jay suggested with a shrug. He knew you were lying, damn it!

“No!” You answered a bit too quickly. “We, uh, we can’t do that! Because, first of all, it would be very douchy and, second, Will would be mad at me forever, and that can’t happen if I have any hopes of ever becoming a Halstead.” You didn’t even realize what you’d just said, until after it came out, but then it was too late to go back. He glued his eyes on you immediately, while you tried to hide your blushing face with your hands. “I can’t believe that I really just said that out loud.” You sorta-whispered shyly, never uncovering your face.

“Me neither…” He confessed with a huge grin, also going to remove your hands off your face with his. “Baby, I know I don’t say this much, because, as you know, words aren’t really my strongest suit, but I love you. And I, too, have real high hopes that you’ll become a Halstead someday.” He told you, making your eyes tear up.

“I love you too, babe.” You barely let it out before he pulled you in for a warm loving kiss.

“So, you say that a lot in your head, hum?” He asked with a smug smirk on his lips.

“Shut up, let’s just go.” You grunted, trying hard not to blush again.

“Do we really have to, though? You know Will doesn’t get to decide anything between us.” Jay tried to reason with you, apparently forgetting about his suspicions.

“I know, but we’re not bailing on him like this, Jay.” At that, he gave you an annoyed pouting look but eventually gave it up and headed to the bar with you.

Before you got out of the cab, you managed to, discretely, shoot Will a quick text, to let everyone know that you’d arrived. That way, as soon as Jay opened the door, letting you in first as usual, the mini crowd of guests shouted:

“Surprise!!!!!” You couldn’t help but break up in laughter when your boyfriend almost jumped back outside after the scare. Jay Halstead, the man who was always prepared for anything, got completely caught by surprise this time.

“Oh my God, guys, what the hell?” He asked with a shocked expression that just made everyone in the bar laugh hard, as they started reaching out to hug him and say their birthday wishes. 

In the midst of all that, Jay saw you smiling shyly on a corner and immediately knew who was the mastermind behind it all. That made him think of how, when you came into his life, you were like a sunshine ray that never darkened, making his hardest days easier and better. And you were even more now. 

Jay Halstead had definitely made a lot of wrong, shitty, decisions throughout his life. On both personal and professional levels, they’d gotten him a lot of heartache. But dating you was for sure the one he got right.

[palmett-hoes]

per your post "every single one of the monsters is autistic and/or adhd" will you elaborate on that?, if you do i will love you forever (not that i wont if you dont do it)

oh boy i would love to!!! unironically nothing brings me more joy than writing long, convoluted character analysis posts

---

okay so i’ve written several posts before about why andrew is autistic. his moral code, the roundabout way he communicates, his body language, his stimulation-seeking behavior, his strict adherence to transactional deals, the emphasis on honesty, and a dozen other details. at this point i just take andrew being autistic as fact, not just an interpretation

h o w e v e r  i also hc that andrew is dyslexic, which is also a neurodiverse condition

- - -

similarly, i’ve seen more than one person interpret kevin as autistic, and i absolutely agree that it fits. not just the hyperfocus on exy but mostly the way he communicates. he’s very indirect, especially in his affection but very direct with his opinions. he tries to be helpful in a material way to the people he cares about, even if he comes off as negative. he wants the people he cares about to be safe and successful so he pushes them to work hard and reminds them in measurable ways how to stay healthy. he doesn’t factor in a lot of room for emotions, so instead he focuses on quantifiable things that he can improve. i personally act very similarly. approaching someone emotionally is hard for me, so when the people i care about have problems all i can think to do is try offering solutions, check up on their well-being, etc. practicality instead of conventional sentiment is extremely common with asd

- - -

so now let’s talk about neil. i had to think on this one for a WHILE but ultimately came to the conclusion that neil is adhd, probably hyperactive type. 

like obviously neil is high energy. i would say he probably does the most exercise of anyone on the team. morning run, morning practice, afternoon practice, night practice with kevin and andrew, plus he doesn’t have a car so he runs to class (on a BIG ass campus), and goes for an extra run when he feels stressed. that’s... insane, honestly.

neil reminds me SO MUCH of this post that goes:

“Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood”

(phenomenal post) and that’s neil to a t. tell me this isn’t exactly how neil handles his problems and also exactly what mary would have had to do to keep her unmedicated and very energetic son focused on the task of staying alive

neil also definitely has that ADHD on/off switch with his interest. the obvious being exy which is like the definition of a hyperfixation, but you can see it in other things: the way he runs totally hot or totally cold with people, his complete disinterest in his schoolwork, the way he can’t seem to sit still long enough to follow movies. but then there’s also the hyperfocus. doing the same drill for hours on end. watching exy game after exy game. staring at andrew until time falls away

what’s more, neil on many occasions shows racing thoughts, both in an anxiety way (and anxiety often goes hand-and-hand with adhd) but also as a way to quickly and accurately take in details about people to build a character profile of them. this is what allows him to connect with the foxes, how he manages to get through andrew’s puzzles, and even how he knows what to say in order to knock riko down a peg. his brain just works so fast and it takes in a lot of very specific details and disparate information to make connections.

but also like,, neil has a HUGE problem with time blindness. like the instant he didn’t have his mother around to manage and direct him anymore he lost all sense of time. he stayed in Millport for a YEAR. and what did he keep telling himself during that time? basically “i really need to move on, but not just yet.” for a YEAR! then he gets to palmetto and he’s like “i’ll cut and run in a month or two” then he doesn’t “i’ll be gone by halloween” wrong again “i’ll leave by the raven’s game” nope. like,, the boy just has NO sense of time and he can’t seem to make himself DO anything outside of an externally enforced schedule. and even then,,, HE HAD 48 FUCKING DAYS TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING TO DO TO NOT GET MURDERED! 48 WHOLE DAYS. he didn’t make a plan, he didn’t write down any letters with goodbyes, he didn’t GO TO THE FBI LIKE HE’D INTENDED TO THE WHOLE TIME! nah he just made out with andrew and when he finally got to zero he was just like “ah shit, that was fast. oh well guess i’ll die” and that’s time blindness, babey!

---

let’s move on to nicky. 

now i think it would be really easy to say nicky is just adhd because he’s high energy and forgetful but tbh,, i don’t think that’s all of it. like if you really look at nicky’s character and especially at his problems, he has asd problems just as much as he has adhd problems.

so nicky is dual diagnosis asd and adhd. also nicky reminds me a lot of a girl i used to know who was autistic/adhd

so, adhd:

very generally speaking, ppl with adhd will struggle with sitting still, listening to and following instructions, planning/organization, following a schedule, and some social boundaries like “appropriate” times and topics of conversation

i would say you see hints of this with nicky. he’s definitely a rambunctious personality, constantly on the move, constantly stimulation seeking. he’s very tactile. he likes to dance, he likes to party, he complains about it but he’s an elite-level athlete. he’s also decidedly very chatty, and doesn’t seem to really pay attention to what he’s saying. he distracts himself and the people around him have to keep him on track. he has some trouble with boundaries. he’s a little all over the place. he’s almost a bit of an adhd stereotype

also one thing i find interesting is that when neil sees him in the library doing work neil is surprised to see he’s capable of that, especially bc when we see the upperclassmen doing work they generally do it in their dorms or on the bus and/or with other people around. that hyper-social nicky would be alone in a quiet place is weird. but this is like the most common tip for dealing with adhd. don’t do it in a familiar space. have a designated space and time to do work. limit distractions. just a lil detail

so now, asd:

in all honesty, most of nicky’s actual problems in the narrative could be viewed as stemming from asd symptoms. his number one issue being that he has a lot of trouble with nonverbal cues (and tbh, verbal ones too). the twins are mostly quiet. andrew especially (when he’s sober) communicates primarily nonverbally, and nicky seems to have a lot of trouble with this. despite knowing them for the longest on the team, nicky honestly seems to have the least insight into the way either of the twins actually thinks or processes things. he loves them, and he’s very forgiving of them, but he fundamentally doesn’t understand them. 

the twins, andrew especially, put up a LOT of nonverbal boundaries, and nicky sort of inadvertently keeps trampling all over them. he’s touchy in a way they don’t like. he talks a lot about their personal lives to other people. he treats them like they’re joking when they’re serious. etc. and like,,, you kind of get the sense that the upperclassmen feel similarly about him. beyond the homophobia, beyond the fact that he’s loyal to andrew, the upperclassmen still treat him with this sense of,, bafflement, i suppose? it’s clear that they don’t really understand him and he doesn’t really understand them. although, nicky IS curious about the upperclassmen, while the upperclassmen are pretty dismissive of him. it reminds me of when my sweet, floppy dog tries to play with my cat. their body language is different; they’re each receiving different signals than they believe they’re sending out

only,, nicky loves people!! he likes being around them, he likes talking to them. he’s interested in their lives and stories, but it’s very clear that he can’t read between the lines on people. he has an incredibly hard time with people who expect their actions to speak for them, which is most people, but is especially his cousins.

actually this is very much also an issue that i have: things need to be spelled out for me. the way i deal with it is i ask a lot of questions. ‘how do you want me to react to this potential situation?’ ‘what are specific things that make you most comfortable?’ ‘please explain to me exactly how you feel and what has prompted those feelings?’ and i’m always communicating vice versa like that with other people. a lot of specifics in both questions and answers

and the interesting thing is, when i was skimming through the books reviewing dialogue styles for another ask, i noticed that, actually, nicky DOES do this. with neil and the upperclassmen, nicky asks a LOT of quick, clarifying questions. things that ask after tone, that ask after intent. it’s kinda sad that he does this for communicating with acquaintances, but with the twins, the people he’s closest to, he makes a lot more assumptions. and i’m really proud of nicky for having this coping skill, because i can’t imagine it’s something he grew up doing. there’s no way he was raised in an environment that fostered this kind of open communication so it must have been something he learned about much later, probably in germany with the kloses, which would also explain why he’s a lil imperfect about it

---

now last but not least, aaron

this is another one i had to think through for a long time before it felt like it fit

much like how i felt that it would be easy to read nicky as simply adhd rather than also asd, i think it would be easy to say aaron is autistic simply because he is quieter, less rambunctious. however, i actually think he’s adhd, likely primarily inattentive type

in all honesty, aaron’s #1 character trait for the first two books is basically that he’s disconnected. detached. separated both from his family and his team. not in the same forcefully apathetic way that andrew is, more,, spaced out. he’s just kind,, there. not really paying attention to what’s going on, tuning in every once in a while only if something really catches his eye/ear then tuning right back out again. just sits in his corner and plays on his phone. and the thing is, from the moments when he does tune in, you can tell that he actually does care. he backs nicky when seth insults him in tfc, and we know he cares deeply about andrew even if he’s become disillusioned with their fraught relationship. he even hangs with his family, doesn’t seem to really try and slip away to other friends besides katelyn, he’s fine spending his leisure time with the monsters. so it’s not totally apathy, he’s just,,, tuned out most of the time

and, yea, that sounds like adhd. it’s not the type that most people are familiar with, and for a lot of people this causes it to slip under the radar. it can make it hard to get help or a dx because it doesn’t fit with how adhd “should” look or how someone “should” act, but difficulty focusing your thoughts and staying in tune with the current moment is absolutely part of adhd

addiction is also a huge problem for people with adhd. a lot of stimulants affect people with adhd very differently than neurotypicals, especially in small doses, and an adhd kid who’s struggled their whole lives with the disorder might try speed or god-forbid meth or fuck even coffee and suddenly find that things are a lot easier for them. they start to self-medicate, they don’t actually know what they’re doing, and then they’re addicted, and everything spirals out of control. we don’t know too many details about aaron’s addiction other than that his mother enabled him, but wouldn’t this fit? it’s also an explanation for aaron still taking drugs at eden’s, given that cracker dust seems to be a mild amphetamine. (aaron talk to betsy about the neurocog and get an actual prescription please)

(total throw away but aaron plays videogames and videogames are like,, adhd culture)

[simonsrosebud]

Alright — this is very important — what’s the wedding party look like? Do either of them get walked down the aisle? What do the bachelor parties look like? What’s the first dance like? The cake cutting? OR! Do they just elope?

Either way, the most important thing of all — what are their vows?

i’m going to warn you:  i’m afraid this is going to be a very long post.

the wedding is in january, before playoffs have the chance to start up.  it’s easier that way also, because most of their friends either play exy or coach it, so they’re all off too.  and dalton’s professor friends are off for winter break.

that being said, they’re on a time crunch for bachelor parties.  and since kevin doesn’t drink or anything, the idea of the “typical bachelor” party is out of question.  kevin doesn’t care for a bachelor party for himself, anyway.

however, when andrew is added to a groupchat with the whole wedding party, he sends two texts.  not to the group, but to allison.  she’s the one handling it, anyway.

the first text is a link to elton john at madison square garden, the second is a text.  

hamilton on broadway friday the 14th, concert 15th.

(ik the timelines don’t technically match up, but since this is all fictional who cares)

it’s perfect.  allison checks with dalton to be sure, and he lights up.  apparently kevin has gotten really into hamilton because duh it’s history, and elton john is one of his favorite artists, especially after dalton introduced him to “your song” in college.

dalton goes with him because they know kevin would want him there, unlike normal bachelor parties where you spend it without your fiancé.

as for dalton’s, he gets taken to florida (it’s only like a 5 hour drive i think but they could fly also) and his friends, who for the most part are straight besides emmie, a blazing proud lesbian, take him to gay bars on gay bars, and then go to star wars land in disney world for a day- kevin’s idea.  dalton is very excited about this because in this ask dalton reveals he’s a star wars fan and says he’d like to go see it someday.  they also get drunk in disney, don’t worry.

they both have good sized wedding parties.  for dalton, it’s carmen, bella, and his best friends jenna, reid, and sam.

for kevin, it’s andrew, neil, and dan.  if anyone asked kevin in college if he’d thought she would be in his wedding party- or even if they’d leave college being friends, he would have said no, but he was stupid to think the foxes would ever lose touch.  if anything, he got closer.

he’s also gotten closer than he ever would have probably wished to allison.  there’s something to be said for the both of them having good taste.  all it took was one trip of clothes shopping for a banquet for them to realize they’d had a lot more in common.

the only reason they never realized it was because they’ve both got the same level of stubbornness.

which is why she somehow ends up being asked to be in his wedding party, too.

kevin isn’t worried about asking neil.  a little about andrew, but he can always get neil to talk him into it.  he stops them both from leaving after practice, one day.  “will you be my groomsmen?  both of you?”

neil really doesn’t look surprised.  not even phased.  he’d been matt’s best man, after all.  “yeah, sure.”

kevin looks to andrew, who hasn’t moved a muscle.

when he does, it’s to swing his bag around his shoulder.  "no speeches.”  and before he gets to the door.  “and no one’s wrapping their arm around mine down the aisle.”  and that’s more than okay with kevin.  he doesn’t really want them speaking, anyway.

and then there’s dan and allison.  he isn’t worried about them, so all he does is text them and they agree.

there’s no more than 70 people there.  the actual ceremony only about 30.  it’s not big by any means, but they didn’t want it big anyway.  plus, kevin doesn’t have a whole group of family to invite like dalton does in the first place.  he doesn’t mind, though, because he’s grown to consider dalton’s family his own.

kevin doesn’t get walked down the aisle.  he never saw himself doing that with a woman before he realized he was bi and could potentially marry a man, so he’s never cared for it.

wymack, however, officiates the wedding.  he’s very proud of it, too.  he never seems to show nerves, and he doesn’t let kevin know, but this is something that causes him great stress.  he can’t fuck it up.

he doesn’t, of course.

he’s standing beside kevin when dalton gets walked down the aisle by his mother, and kevin told himself he wouldn’t get emotional.

he lets out a breath and a soft laugh, then looks up at the ceiling to blink away the sudden wetness in his eyes.

when anne hands him off, she kisses kevin on the cheek and whispers.  “all yours now, love.”

kevin wants to kiss dalton so bad.  so so bad.  but he has to wait.  instead he gives him a wink and takes his hands.  he expects them to be a tiny bit sweaty like they sometimes are when he gets nervous, but they’re not.  dalton’s grip is firm, and the only thing kevin can see on him is glee.

kevin feels he barely can pay attention to the words his father is saying until it’s time for the vows.  he’s first.  he takes a deep breath.pays attention to what his father is saying, too busy staring at his fiancé.  until they get to the vows, that is.

kevin is first, and his heart has never beat this fast.  he memorized his vows, but just in case, he unfolds the paper from his pocket and takes the microphone.  “i’ve made plenty of bad decisions in my life.  going to the club the night before a game, trying to fix the kitchen sink by myself.”  he smiles when dalton laughs at the memory.  “d, i knew from the moment i told you about my demons and you stayed, that choosing you was the best decision i’ve made in my entire life.  your are the strength i didn't know i needed, and the joy that i didn't know i lacked.”  dalton mouths i love you.  “thank you, for supporting and loving me unconditionally, i know i haven’t always made it easy.”

dalton gives the slightest shake of his head at that one.  loving kevin comes as easy as breathing.

“thank you for showing me how to accept myself, and showing me what it’s like to find peace, to know what it’s like to feel wanted and loved.  thank you for helping me to better myself as a man and a partner.  you make me a better person in every single way, and i promise to put it all to use and give back every single day of our lives.  i promise to love you through every hardship, to love you for who you are and who you are yet to become.  i promise to support and help you in every new adventure, and to always be at your side.  i promise to be patient and loyal.  i promise to remember to show you every day how deeply i care for you.  i promise to share my whole heart with you, to love you fiercely— for the rest of my life.  as long as you’ll have me.”

dalton blinks away tears, and after taking a moment, he accepts the microphone.  "kev,” he whispers, and takes a breath.  kevin knows he has his written down, but he doesn’t take it out.  he doesn’t need it.  “i used to think that i just got lucky that some random hot kid asked me for help with his homework.”  kevin grins.

“but i’ve realized now that the universe put you in front of me for a reason.  you have filled my life with happiness and have given me a sense of peace that i’ve never known.  you are my best friend, my biggest supporter, and the best co-pilot in life that i could’ve ever wished for.”  he smiles.  “today marks the start to the rest of our lives, whether we’re ready or not.  i will not take our time together for granted. and because words can’t do it, i promise to show you, for the rest of my life, how much i love you.  i promise to encourage you to follow your dreams.  to support you through any of life’s obstacles.  i promise to make you laugh when you’re taking yourself too seriously.  i promise to hold your hand through the good and the bad, to keep you afloat when you feel you’re drowning.  i promise to share the weight on your shoulders like it’s my own.”

a tear drops from kevin’s eye, and dalton reaches to gently wipe it with his thumb before grabbing his hand.  “i promise to never stop making up my own lyrics to songs i don’t know. although, i know you wish i would.  i promise to look back on our lives when we’re old and gray and have no regrets.  i promise, from this day forward, kevin day, that you will never walk alone.”  he lowers the microphone, whispering.  “as long as you’ll have me.”

it’s a very emotional ceremony, that’s for sure, but they’re grinning by the time the rings go on, and dalton barely holds back from jumping kevin before he can say, “you may now kiss.”

kevin has his arms around dalton’s waist and dalton’s hands on his cheek and the back of his neck, and they’re both smiling into the kiss less than two seconds in.  but kevin doesn’t care.  dalton’s laugh is the best thing he’s ever heard and he relishes in it as he crushes him in a hug before tearing back down the aisle.

their first dance is to “your song” by elton john.  is it probably overused?  sure, but kevin isn’t into music enough to know or care about that.  it’s the song that

it’s always been dalton’s go to song to sing in the car, and whenever he does he tends to just kind of grab onto kevin’s hand while he sings.  he’s no harry styles but he can hold a tune just fine.

it then turned into a song kevin listened to on bus or plane rides, and when he entered the pros dalton started sending him voice memos on text of him singing like two lines from the song before his every flight.

kevin also played it in the car back to the cabin after he proposed.

it’s their song.

dalton pulls kevin to him for the first dance, with one hand holding kevin’s and the other pressed against the small of his back.  and dalton’s singing along just loud enough for kevin to hear.  it makes him smile at his dork of a husband, and halfway through the song kevin lays his head on dalton’s shoulder and slides his arms around his neck.  he closes his eyes and ever so quietly sings along.  

dalton kisses the side of his head and wraps his arms around kevin’s waist.

when the song is coming to an end, dalton kisses kevin and smiles as he sings the last lines to him.  “how wonderful life is while you’re in the world”

kevin smiles.  “sweetheart,” he whispers.

but then the song ends, and kevin leans back against their table as dalton takes the floor with anne for the mother son dance.  he sends a thought up to kayleigh.

“i’m incredibly proud of you.”  it’s abby at his side, sliding her arm around his waist.  she kisses his cheek.  “i know you know this already, that you foxes are family to us.  but... you have always been like a son to me.  and you always will, even if not by blood.”

kevin is looking at his feet, but eventually he meets her gaze.  “you’re the closest thing i’ve ever had to a mother.”  he squeezes her hand, and, “do you want to do the dance with me?”  he doesn’t know how he hadn’t thought of it before.

abby’s a little teary, but nods.

dan rests her head on wymack’s shoulder.  “he’s done good.”

wymack nods.  he doesn’t respond, because he’s got… something… stuck in his throat.  not emotions, definitely not emotions.

kevin smears cake all over dalton’s lips when they cut the cake, and in return he presses a messy kiss to his cheek.  it’s sickenly sweet.  the whole thing is, especially compared to the kevin day that some people know, and the one they see on television.

i can’t think of other things i may have missed, but please please let me know if there is anything else you guys want more insight on, or prompts regarding these!

oh yeah, kevin throws one of the bridesmaids little bouquets as a joke.

and carmen catches it.

[purpleyellow]

Mae’s relationship with The boyz

The boyz 12th member

Mae’s masterlist

a/n: happy new year everyone!! Feel free to share your thoughts with me. Requests are open! 🧡

Sangyeon 

They are a comforting presence for each other. Mae would trust her entire life to Sangyeon as he is someone she’s sure will never outright judge her or demand something she is not comfortable with. On the other hand, I can see him not worrying too much about her but being careful when her mood seems off, and asking what it was afterward so he’s sure she’s fine again. 

The girl usually laughs at his impersonations or weird jokes, which instantly put her into his goody list, and Sangyeon is very thankful for having someone that will hear his random rants without getting caught up in it. More often than not, you can see him standing on the sidelines, cheering for her when he’s aware she’s doing something she’s not very confident in.

Jacob

Becoming trainees at the same time might have been the best thing for them, seeing as they often struggled with the same stuff, and pushed the other through their rough times. Mae sometimes wonders where she would be if it weren’t for Jacob and his insane amount of patience. Also, their personality is very comparable and they’re both soft-spoken most of the time, deobis aren’t even surprised whenever they find out something else they have in common.

They made a habit of going to karaoke rooms before debuting as a way to both practice singing and his Korean but to also rest and have fun. After Kevin joined the company he went along as well and after they became rookies all of the members would occasionally join in on the trio.

Younghoon

Soft, just soft. Both together and for each other. When she’s around Younghoon, Mae actually becomes more clingy and he’s the only one she goes out of her way to show skinship with (back hugs are her favorite). He also gets easily entertained by her antics and likes to joke that he’s her bodyguard.

Vlive moments that usually lead to him making an unintentional innuendo and she gets embarrassed and leaves the room so she doesn’t have to explain what just happened. On that note, Mae doesn’t like helping with English that much because it usually leads the members to getting entertained by her accent, but she makes an exception to Younghoon

Hyunjae

His number one hobby is to make her embarrassed, and considering they, as well as Haknyeon, have been roommates for the longest time Hyunjae has a lot of material to share. He clings to her at every opportunity and is constantly nagging about the amount of clothes Mae has as well as the closet space they take.

Surprisingly or not, he often helps her with choreography and is overall a good listener. She’s also not that bothered by his antics and has grown comfortable enough to tell him to knock it off once she gets over them. Fans didn’t know they were as close until she answered “Hyunjae” when asked which of them she’d want as an actual brother. 

Juyeon

The “looks tough but is actually soft” duo. Over the years, he became her number one dance instructor seeing as he’s mostly calm and doesn’t really mind pulling extra hours to help her. We know how Juyeon usually babies Eric, and many fans think he’s like that to Mae as well, but on the contrary, he also prefers to be wary instead of butt in on her business. 

Having that said, when the girl shows even 1% discomfort or annoyance in general he’s the first one to step in and help her out. Mae usually feels weird that he acts like that but it usually comes in handy when the group is having a discussion and she needs someone to back her up and be on her side.

Kevin

Kevin has taken pride in being the main reason for her meme awakening. Before he arrived, Mae and Jacob were as close as friends could get, but as Kevin and the boy hit it off, Mae expected to be thrown into the sidelines. She couldn’t be more wrong, considering that he also made a lot of effort into keeping her close, thus beginning the “Kevin getting frustrated at Mae not getting his references” saga.

Lowkey, they just want to chill and listen to questionable music together. Highkey, he wants to get her to twerk with him (he’ll kiss the ground the day she does). Again, Mae is a good listener and often joins in on his random thoughts or simply goes along with whatever he’s doing.

New 

Random high note battles and both of them silently judging the others. Chanhee and Mae often fall into a cycle of complaining around but instead of tackling the matter with him she often does nothing, which makes him complain ten times harder. Objectively speaking, he’s the member who helps her the most with organizing her stuff and adulting in general.

The girl randomly drags him with her to the mall to people-watch or makes him do vlives with her just for the sake of it. For some reason, it took them a little while to find common ground but once they did, New became one of her go tos when it came to sharing struggles. On a random note, Mae thought his math tricks were an absolute scam and believed none of it until they were actually tested.  

Q 

Playfully bickering 24/7. They have many fake arguments, usually around her struggles with some choreographies and his lack of patience when it comes to teaching her. Two months after their debut he decided to let that job fall onto Juyeon and his life became a lot more fun. Around the release of Right Here he went back to randomly giving her tips but please don't leave them alone in a practice room.

When it comes to interests Changmin didn’t think they’d have many in common but after many movie nights, he was quick to find out Mae doesn’t really mind horror and thriller which made her perfect to watch them with him. She does, however, have a problem with the creepy-ass dolls and masks he buys and has sworn someday she will make a bonfire out of them.

Haknyeon 

99 babies and eternal roommates. They’re an interesting pair considering Juhaknyeon is more laid back and outgoing and Mae is - according to him -  more high maintenance. They did find common ground around the fact that they’re both foodies and 99s vlive mukbangs are a very constant thing.

Also, kind of random but he’s one of the members she would stand by without a second thought. Hak just tries his best to make any situation lively and the girl appreciates it a lot, especially when she’s having a tough time herself, so as gratitude she’s ready to fight anyone for him. 

Sunwoo 

The other person she would stand by without a problem. It doesn’t really help that Sunwoo acts like an absolute child whenever Mae is near and constantly clings to her like she’ll solve every trouble in the world (flash news, she won’t). The girl finds it kind of comical how he’s always giving her puppy eyes and just pushes his head out of the way for him to snap out of it.

Back to Younghoon when I said someone gets entertained by her accent, that is Sunwoo. He’s constantly repeating the way she says some words or asking her to help him say something, which he knows she doesn’t quite like but does it anyway. Also, not her go-to pastime, but random rap battles are always fun when they happen and they usually end up with one of them on the ground laughing. 

Eric

Aka the non-Canadian half of the English line. Also mildly entertained by her Aussie accent but doesn’t show it as often as Sunwoo. When they first met, Eric instantly decided they were going to be friends but once she figured it out it was too late and she couldn’t back down anymore (that’s what she says at least, deep down we know she enjoyed his company just as much).

Mae is the introverted friend to his outgoing self, she usually has to tell Eric to calm down because she grew tired of following him around or got very embarrassed by him randomly approaching a senior. Also worth mentioning he’s her number one hype person and has multiple times made her embarrassed by complimenting her in front of deobis or just random people. 

Former member: Hwall/Hyunjun

Fashion buddies. Mae has a habit of randomly dragging him to go shopping and they’ve got to the point of adding items into each other’s carts when they think the other might like it. They have a fun time just walking around and chatting as well, before debuting they’d often share what’s bothering them before getting ice cream to cheer up.

Due to different scheduling, it became harder to keep meeting up but Mae often does her best to sneak around into whatever he’s doing. Also, late-night phonecalls became more regular which led the members into believing she had a boyfriend before finding out it was just Mae catching up with him.

[codename-adler]

Kevin Day and his Oblivious Literature Lover, pt. VI

This bit explores Kevin’s sexual identity and his relationship to Jean, so, you know, not all funs and games... But very cathartic to write. I love them.

>> Table of Contents, TW and other parts are here!

after Juliet’s confession, their little talk does not flow any easier, but despite the rocky start and their dirty secrets, they push through the stuff that matters

it’s like a dam burst open

though, some subjects remain silenced

no parents, no exy, no relationships, no entourage, no names…

it’s just them

Kevin stays well into the afternoon

he has no class on Tuesdays, except in the mornings and, well, for once, he chose to rearrange his priorities

it wasn’t even a difficult choice, it wasn’t even a question: he had to stay, simple as that

he even missed morning practice

morning practice

it scares him, he feels the restlessness running through his veins, he feels guilty, guilty, guilty… and so, so weak…

but that was easier than leaving Juliet in the state she was

that had never happened before

not even with Jean

he’s used to flight, not fight

as for Juliet, either she didn’t have class or she chose the same as Kevin

either way, both were unspokenly grateful

sometimes, Juliet would fall asleep 

sometimes she’d go non verbal and simply watch Kevin do his homework

one time he fell asleep

he woke up extremely tense, his jaw hurting from the clenching and his back protesting against his curled up position on the floor (really, an elite athlete should know better)

Juliet was looking at him strangely

“Can I ask for another truth?” she said quietly

he nodded calmly while his heart went racing

“Who’s Jean?”

ah

“You said his name in your sleep. A lot. Are you usually a sleeptalker? I know I sleepwalk sometimes, but I don’t think I’ve ever talked,” she added

Kevin took an awful long time to think

he was looking at Juliet without really seeing her

instead he was imagining Jean’s bruised and battered face

he started speaking without refocusing his gaze, staring in the distance behind Juliet

“Jean is… He’s the one who taught me French. He’s the one who made me discover philosophy, Sartre and Hell is other people and all. He’s the one who listened first. He is the man that knows my shames, my failures, my mistakes, my ugly side, the man who knew and still looked at me as a human being with worth. He’s the one who showed me how to reset a dislocated shoulder. He’s the one I used to talk to in the middle of the night, about future plans or crazy ideas or incredible historical discoveries. He was my crutch when I couldn’t stand on my own anymore. He’s the one who kept my spirits up when times were tough. He is the man who kept me alive without either of us realizing it until it was too late. He is the man that I took for granted, the man I left behind without a second thought when things got too bad. I could beg for forgiveness my whole life and it still wouldn’t be enough to do right by him. He is the only person that has ever left me speechless. He can make my mind go blank, he can make me lose my words, he can shut me up with just a word. He’s the only one I let, at least. Jean is… So much. Too much, sometimes.”

Kevin’s throat tightened as he spoke, fists clenching and unclenching, his stomach twisting into knots of guilt and shame

if he’d been able to cry, Kevin would have shed burning tears

but he couldn’t

it’s as if everything in his system had been ready to cry, only for his body to realize that his water tank was completely empty of tears

and if Juliet hadn’t been looking at him with such intensity and such intent, Kevin would’ve ran away to Jean’s bedside right this second

three entire languages couldn’t even begin to express everything that Jean was to Kevin

Jean was every single emotion Kevin had ever felt in his short yet brutal existence, wrapped in one person as complex as the mechanics of the world

Kevin thought back on that first night when he allowed himself to be close to Jean since his escape from Edgar Allen

he thought back on how, with a single touch, all their entangled feelings came rushing back to the surface

how Kevin had never wanted to let go ever again, but the dark and violent waves of emotions had made his instincts scream with the urge to run away

Kevin had forgotten Juliet was still a witness to his battle

“Jean was… is… you ex?” she asked, something like wariness in her eyes

and what

“What?” he even says aloud

“Jean was your partner? Before… whatever it is you overcame?” Juliet repeats

“No!?”

“Okay… I’m sorry, Kevin… I didn’t mean…” she apologizes

“Why would you say that?” Kevin harshly asks

“Why wouldn’t I? It seems you two shared a very special bond, that’s all I’m saying,” she replies

she couldn’t possibly know

she couldn’t know

how would she know?

only two people in this godforsaken existence knew about these secrets in the dark, one of them being barely conscious in a bed a few minutes away, and the other one being himself

it was impossible that Juliet knew about what had transpired between him and Jean

“Kevin?” Juliet’s voice finally reaching him

“I said ‘Sorry for assuming’, I shouldn’t have done that. We don’t have to talk about it anymore, I’m sorry.”

Kevin considered their exchange

“I think I want to talk about it. To you,” Kevin finally spoke

Juliet nodded slowly, ever so careful, a silent yet binding promise passing between them

and so Kevin told her everything

absolutely everything

everything that didn’t touch exy, Riko, the Ravens, but that still left plenty, enough to cover many pages of poetry

he told her about how it had started between them, how Jean’s resilience had intrigued Kevin and how it had made him discover that there was more to life than his adoptive-brother

how Kevin had wanted a part of that rebellion Jean carried in his heart, how he tutored Kevin in French to share that slow-burning flame

he told her how for the first time in his life, Kevin’s entire focus wasn’t on one thing, but on a person too

he told her how their midnight talks became as important to him as his duty was

he told her how he began fighting for something else without knowing what it was, or why

he told her how on these nights, as Jean was teaching him verb tenses in French, their heads had, inch by inch, made their way closer to the other’s, until their foreheads were touching and their whispers barely made a sound on their lips

he told her how one fateful night, as Jean was teaching him the future tenses, their faces hadn’t stopped moving once their foreheads touched

how that simple touch hadn’t been enough anymore

how Jean had been his first kiss, his every kisses for the longest time

how he had been Jean’s first kiss, too

he told her how they had been each other’s first for everything

how they had been each other’s everything for a long time

he also told her how his fear and his shame, and his ambition, had ruined what they had

how his and Jean’s “situation” made it so, so hard

how once he was 17 and was “promoted”, Kevin didn’t choose Jean back

how it was on-and-off between them even when he showed interest towards Thea, also his now ex

how he had “moved” when shit hit the fan, and how he didn’t bring Jean with him because he was too scared, too self-centered, too weak

he told her how nobody knew back then, how nobody knows even now, because he had denied everything to everyone, including himself

and he told her how Jean was back, now, and how the memories came flooding back in with that same sour, yet familiar taste of shame, guilt, and fear

Kevin talked and talked and talked…

and Juliet listened

and Kevin cried, or rather, tears escaped his saddened eyes without even realizing it

and Juliet cried, too

they both wiped away the mess with the sleeves of their sweaters

“I have nothing to say about guilt and shame, but… If you liked Jean, if you loved him… if you still do… that is so okay, Kevin. It’s just love. You find it where you can. There’s nothing wrong with that, or with you. That’s how I see it… how I- I see you. You’re still you, Kevin.”

“You don’t know me,” Kevin replied fast, without thinking

Juliet just raised her eyebrow in a really, Kevin? way

“Look at where we are… Look at me… This isn’t even my worst. And I don’t believe it’s yours either. But it’s not pretty. Give us a little credit here, Kev; we’re not strangers anymore. Please don’t be a stranger… “

“Okay, Jules”

---

Kevin left Jackie Hall after sundown, with his heart heavy and his mind racing, but his shoulders a little lighter than yesterday

nothing in his life had magically changed into a goddamn fairytale, yet it felt different

Jules had told him nobody could decide who he was, that was his decision and his alone

he held that power, and only he chose who could wield some of it

he could choose what to do with it, and that thing could be outside of exy

at least, it could be for someone, instead of something

someone like Jean

on his way back to the familiarity Abby’s, back to Jean, he began plotting

by the time he was back by the bedside of the person he’d held so close to his heart and his lips, once upon a time, Kevin had formed a plan to give Jean the happy ending he so deserved

he’d have to make a few calls to USC, to the Trojans, to Jeremy Knox, he’d have to be careful of what he revealed, he’d have to convince Jean to leave, he’d have to convince himself to let Jean go, too, but he believed it was worth it

and if once in a while, in his cautious planning of Jean’s second chance at life, Kevin absentmindedly thought of a certain face framed with frizzy hair when the words “happy ending” kept nagging him, well no one could take that away from him either

[littleredlie]

Intervention (S1P4)

Series Masterlist | Master Masterlist

Chicago Med x doctor!OC Morgan Fitzgerald is a doctor at Chicago Medical and she returns back after a two week break. However, we learn that she didn’t spend her entire break off and instead focused on her sister’s murder.  Based off S1E11 of Chicago Med

2.3k+ Words (Short chapter)

Featuring: Morgan Fitzgerald, Hayden Everett (mentioned), Will Halstead, Maggie Lockwood, Connor Rhodes, Kevin Atwater, Adam Ruzek, Jay Halstead (mentioned), Sarah Reese Warning:  mentions of rape and murder, idk what else ??? A/N: Yikes, I started writing this chapter and ended up writing the next chapter so I had to write the end of this one and the beginning of part 5. This part was hard to write because the episode didn’t have much action to put Morgan in and so I made it a kind of Morgan-centric episode. It’s very shot, I had no idea what I was doing. Part 5 is better and I’ve already started part six. Sorry in advance. And we will never talk about this chapter again.

Part Three

“Hey Morgan, welcome back.”

“Hey Mags, how’re you?” Morgan tosses her stethoscope around her neck and picks up a few papers sitting on the desk.

“Nope, nada. I wanna hear how your vacation went. You’re gone for two weeks and not a single person hears from you. You do not deserve to hear about any work drama until you spill.”

“I think you are being overdramatic. And not that you need to know, but Connor heard from me,” Morgan shrugs, not daring to look at the nurse. Maggie had an eyebrow raised and was giving her a look; it was similar to the one she did during Jay and the doctor’s interaction.

“You two really have history don’t you?”

“Yeah, we’ve known each other for almost 15 years. He knew my sister first, but he and I were just closer.” At the mention of her sister, Maggie sends her friend a soft but the latter still isn’t looking. “And we made this ridiculous promise while we were drunk about how we were always gonna be there for each other, and yet, neither of us have broken that promise.” Morgan is quiet for a second as she thinks about the time she and Connor had as friends, but then she moves on. Like she always does when it comes to her personal life. She never lingers on it long enough for people to try and figure her out. “My vacation though was very quiet. Hayden and I drove up to a resort  up north and rented a cabin. We skied, went to spas, ate luxurious food. She had to leave for an assignment early so I just relaxed and did a little research too.”

“So you went all the way to a resort just to work, eventually.”

“The work’s never done Maggie,” with that Morgan leaves with a smile, heading to   the first patient of her day. Maggie just watches her receding back.

Before Morgan can make it into her assigned examination room, someone walks up to her, placing a gentle hand on her lower back.

“Hey Fitz,” Connor says, a small smile on his face.

“Fitz? No one’s called me that since med school,” she chuckles fully stopping to look at him. “What can I do for you?”

“I just wanted to welcome you back. You look good.”

“Yeah, I guess time off was vital. But I have to know,” she pauses, the anticipation building and Connor waiting. “Does everyone know about Olivia? I’d suspect everyone would come to you for some clarification.”

Connor pauses, contemplating whether or not to spew out a white lie. It was true a few people came and prodded for the truth. And he briefly heard whispered conversations among colleagues before they would stop when he got near, but he knew what the topic was. Connor also knew how private Morgan was. She always had been, and after Olivia’s death she just became more closed off. But she also didn’t like being lied to. “Yeah, people know. I’ve tried to handle it, but it has its own life.”

“I guess it’s okay. I just…. I don’t know.” She shrugs and Connor rests his hands on her upper arms.

“Will you be okay?” His voice is sincere and Morgan wants to hug him, but maybe not right now.

“I will be,” at that Connor is about to pull away but Morgan stops him. “Hey, I wanted to apologize for being a bitch before I left. You know how my family gets me.”

“I understand. I do. And I’ll always give you the space you need.”

“Yeah, I know. But I probably shouldn’t push away my best friend. I need you, especially now.”

Connor pulls Morgan into a quick hug and is going to say something but a commotion arises from the ambulance bay.

“Dr. Rhodes, can you get this, please?” The two doctors pull apart and turn to the pleading charge nurse. “We’re slammed.” 

“I’m on it!” He answers back and throws a ‘talk later’ look to Morgan over his shoulder.

She nods back to him and finally turns her direction to her primary goal. With notes open about the patient on the tablet and a smile on her face, Dr. Fitzgerald returns to work.

          ❦

Three hours later, Morgan is on a roll. Treating patients as quickly and efficiently as she could. She had seen her usual coworkers, except Will. She may or may not have been avoiding him. And it was about to get easier, because after her lunch break she was heading up the OBGYN. She loved emergency medicine, but always felt that there weren’t enough available people in the emergency room that specialized in the field. Just like Connor was pursuing cardiothoracic surgery and Natalie was focused on emergency pediatrics, Morgan focused on obstetric and gynecology emergencies. It interested her just as much as emergency medicine did and after losing a pregnant patient when she first got her match, the choice came easy to her.

“Dr. Fitzgerald.” Maggie calls, pulling the doctor in her direction.

“Yes ma’am. What can I do for you?” Morgan leans her body on the desk as the ensuing chaos of the emergency room flutters around them.

“I just need a signature here for your last patient’s discharge papers.” 

“No problem.” Morgan pulls out a pen from her pocket and signs the paperwork. During this, Will siddles up to her. Maggie notices first and wants to usher him away, since she (along with everyone) noticed that Morgan was ignoring him, but the redhead ignored the nurse’s glares and he turned to Morgan, who still hadn't noticed that he was there.

“Morgan.”

Morgan’s plump lips fold into a thin line as a breath catches in her throat, she was avoiding this. Slowly placing the pen back into her jacket, she finally lays her eyes on him. “Dr. Halstead.”

“It’s good to see you back.” He starts, trying to catch her eyes which were fluttering around the hospital floor, evading. “I was hoping we co–” a ringtone interrupts his words and Morgan notices it’s coming from her. She breathes out a sigh of relief when she pulls it out. It may have been petty, but she wanted to stay angry at him a little longer. 

“Sorry, I have to take this.” Without a response, she answers the phone without looking at who it is, and walks away. “Hey, are you here?” She asked.

“Yeah, we’re in the parking garage, top floor.” His answer beckons her to start walking to the hospital employee parking lot.

“We?” Morgan questioned. 

“Yeah, Adam’s here.”

“Kevin!” She screeches, annoyance bubbling inside her. There was a reason she didn’t ask for Adam’s help.

“He’s my partner Morg, I couldn’t blow him off.” Kevin answers back and she pushes out an agitated sigh.

“Ugh, whatever. I’ll be up there in a few.” Morgan hands up and stuffs her cellphone back into her lab coat pocket.

The weather isn’t bad when Morgan hikes herself up to the top of the parking garage.  She can see the two policemen leisurely enjoying a cup of coffee.  She’d met Kevin years ago through his younger brother Jordan. The younger kid ended up in the hospital and Morgan was the one to treat him. They got to talking, found out they had some things in common, and it was one of the closest connections she made when she first moved out here and after Olivia’s death. Dating wasn’t an option between them, the way the two cared for each other was something close to two siblings and again, the fact that she dated Jay wasn’t helping. She didn’t want to dip her toe into the police dating pool again.

Morgan knew Adam through Kevin and Jay. And she made the mistake of introducing Adam to her roommate. Those two were quite the pair. Hayden used him as an inside source when it came to her articles and he used her to do things that he as a police officer legally couldn’t do (Morgan wasn’t necessarily supposed to know that though). Together, they made an agreement to warm each other’s bed when it was needed. Morgan of course thought it was stupid as Adam was a mess when it came to his love life, Hayden reassured that it was no strings attached and they were practically best friends when they weren’t sleeping together. 

Other than that, Morgan and Adam didn’t have a bad relationship, she didn’t want to ask him this favor because she knew he’d tell Hayden. And Morgan doesn’t want her roommate on her back.

“Hey boys,” Morgan called out to them, her body leaning through the open passenger window. She gives a strained smile to Adam and he gives her one back, knowing why she didn’t ask him to do the favor. Without saying anything, Kevin passes the folder she asked for.

It was surprisingly thinner than what she expected it to be. This killer has been on the loose for a while and she’d hoped that the police would listen to her anonymous tips that tried to tie together all his crimes. But the evidence showed that they didn’t.

“This is all they have Kev?” Morgan flips through the pages, disappointment written on her face. 

“Yeah.  I tried digging up some more, but that’s all that was available.”

“God, cops are so fucking useless.” She huffs out, completely missing the offended faces on the two detectives. “I have more in my own files than this. I tried taking it in, but I keep getting shut down.”

“Morgan, you can’t do this by yourself.” Adam finally speaks up, placing a hand on her wrist. She pulls her eyes away from the paperwork to him. 

“But it seems like no one else wants to do the work. Olivia’s case has gone cold and I feel like the longer that it goes unsolved, the harder it will be to get justice.” Olivia’s throat aches as a sob threatens to creep out. There are tears brimming in her eyes and she turns her body away from the two men.

“I understand that, doc. But, you already have to worry about your patients and yourself.” Adam starts, glancing at Kevin, trying to get his partner to say something. The black man is unsure what to say, he’d recently learned about Morgan’s sister when she first asked him to acquire the files. 

“Why don’t we take a look into it?” Kevin says and Adam wants to hit him upside the head. Adam had promised Hayden that he would help Morgan move on, which meant getting Olivia’s investigation out of her mind. If he and Kevin pursued this case, Morgan would never let it rest.

“Would you really do that?” Morgan almost throws herself into the car, hope filling in her chest. “You’d do actual investigating?” Kevin hesitates when he meets eye contact with Adam,  but the look on Morgan’s face destroys him.

“Yeah, I’ll try to do some work in between my regular caseload.” There’s a soft smile on Kevin’s face while Adam sighs out then turns his head to look at the giddy doctor.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me Kevin. You too, Adam.” Before the second man could say anything, Morgan’s phone goes off indicating the arrival for one of her pregnant patients. “Looks like I have to go. Why don’t you come over tonight and I’ll give you everything that I have.” She smiles at both of them. “And Adam, please don’t tell Hayden or Jay.”

“Jay?” Adam questions. He understood why she didn’t want him to tell Hayden, but Jay?

“Yeah, Jay. The two of us are in a really good spot right now and I don’t want to jeopardize that anymore that it already has been.” Adam nods, understanding. “I’ll see you guys later.” With that, Morgan makes her way back into the hospital.

          ❦

Between patients Morgan finds herself peeking into the folder that Kevin gave her. One name stands: Isaac Elway. Apparently, his sister was a victim to the same killer that ended Olivia’s life. Details of the horrific crime, along with her sisters, were displayed in the paperwork. Morgan’s read the information about Olivia’s case numerous times before, but it still breaks her heart and it constantly keeps her up at night.

When she has no more patients, she pulls out a card with number on it. It’s Elway’s. She dials the number, her fingernail being demolished by the teeth in her mouth. She didn’t know why she was so nervous, she’d been searching for answers for years. This was the first time she had heard of Elway and she had to know what he knew. Why was phone number in the file? Was he that important.

The phone rings and anxiety rises in Morgan’s throat. Eventually she had to get answers, that’s why she had Kevin looking into more details. No one answers the other line, just the automated voicemail message and a beep. Morgan quickly debates in her head whether or not to leave a message,  but ultimately she does.

“Hi, Mr. Elway this Dr. Morgan Fitzgerald at Gaffney Chicago Medical Center.  I am calling in regards to Sabrina Elway’s case file and it’s relation to another case. This isn’t a topic would like to discuss over the phone so I’d appreciate it if you would give me a call back. Thank you.” She hangs up the call and shoves the phone back into the pocket of her scrubs. 

“Dr. Fitzgerald, I need an OB consult on a patient?” Dr. Reese pokes her head through the door, oblivious to the emotions ripping the attending.

“Yeah, give me a moment.  I’ll be there.” The intern nods her head and retreats back towards the nurse’s central desk.

Morgan watches Sarah leave and then her eyes graze over the presence of her fellow doctors and the patients inhabiting the emergency room. She needed to accept that she will get her answers soon and that she could not speed the process of the world. She couldn’t afford getting distracted or she’d put herself and her patients in danger. She leaves the doctor’s lounge and heads back to her job, finally relinquishing control of her sister’s case.

Part Five

[eponinemylove]

aftg tattoo/flower shop au

@essence-29

so it’s wymack’s parlor and he still technically runs it and everything but he’s tired most of the time and he lets kevin pretty much take over

kevin has almost no tattoos himself except one he got that he deeply regrets (in my mind it’s bc riko was his piece of shit ex boyf and pretty much made him get it, but however u want to imagine the backstory of this tattoo is up to you)

anyway he runs the shop with his dad. matt, renee, and seth all work there

andrew runs the flower shop around the corner (managed by betsy). he could not give less of a damn about the parlor tbh. he barely noticed it existed

he’s more of a piercings guy anyway but it’s not like he’s against tattoos

at least, he didn’t care about the parlor until him and renee became friends

i imagine they met at the flower shop when she came in and ordered some for allison. maybe they started seeing each other around more and more, and you know how andrew makes friends. he probably followed her to work one day and they went from there.

either way they’re besties and they work on the same block. so andrew goes in and out of the tattoo parlor fairly often to pick up renee or have lunch.

him and kevin obviously run into each other at some point, probably more often than not

at first they ignored each other’s presence but then andrew started to notice kevin

tattoo artist without (many) tattoos? interesting. he won’t talk about the tattoo he does have? very interesting. he flinched when someone dropped a glass of something and it shattered? now you have his attention

and of course kevin can’t help but notice the hot, 5-foot-nothing guy who comes in at least once a week to harass his patrons and distract his employees

both of which are definitely crimes andrew commits regularly around the parlor

andrew invites kevin out for drinks one night after they’ve been noticing each other for a while. it’s not flirtatious or romantic, but it does feel... weighted. kevin goes. renee and the others are there too, vaguely, but he still manages to end up spending most of the night alone with andrew

they talk. a lot. it’s really slow going because neither one of them particularly feels like talking, but they do. or they come to a mutual understanding at least

they have a weird relationship after that that none of kevin’s friends or andrews relatives can even pretend to understand, but you know what? whatever. they’re KevinAndAndrew

i don’t want to say they’re attached at the hip, but they totally are. anywhere kevin is, andrew follows, especially if kevin is drinking. and they’re not even nice to each other. that’s the confusing part for the others. just looking at them, you wouldn’t even think they were friends, much less maybe-kind of-dating?

so this goes on for a couple of months, and just when everyone thinks they’re getting used to it, neil comes in

literally no one was ready for him. he shows up at the tattoo parlor one day and just applies for a job. no resume, no interview. straight up walks up to the front desk and asks for a job

kevin wants to throw him on his ass but matt says the least they could do was interview the guy

(neil probably looks all kinds of a mess. not like insane or dirty, but just generally disheveled and exhausted and... neil. he looks like neil)

kevin still thinks this is a waste of time, but he lets neil show him what he’s got

no one was expecting neil, but they definitely weren’t expecting him to be so goddamn good

it’s hard to tell if he’s a natural or has actually had years of hardwork and practice, but he’s an amazing artist and he knows his way around a needle

so they hire him.

matt becomes quick friends with neil. seth and neil don’t get along, per se, but they’re almost the exact same brand of asshole so there is a sort of solidarity between them

renee obviously is nothing if not entirely pleasant to neil, but he still has issues trusting her

and kevin? well kevin kind of hates his newest hire

he complains to andrew about him nonstop. about how he’s stupidly talented and a complete bastard and gets along with people but in a chaotic sort of way that makes kevin anxious and annoyed and

kevin has a lot to say and andrew is more than inclined to listen

it’s a surprise to no one when andrew is in the parlor the next day, scoping out neil for himself

oh, and i should mention that neil has literally NO tattoos. not even one. (his mother would never allow something so easily recognizable)

neil barely notices andrew until he confronts him after his shift. i don’t know what he would say, but it would go pretty much like how their meeting went in the books, just probably without the racquet

a fight immediately breaks out that matt and kevin have to break up. renee knows better

yeah neil and andrew don’t get along

andrew is very interested though. so he does what andrew always does. he gets nosy. and personal. and mean

it takes him a surprisingly long time to find any information on neil. he thinks it might be a fake name and kevin assures him that it’s definitely likely, which helps exactly none.

eventually the only thing he manages to gather is that neil has one hell of a temper and could start a fight in an empty room. he also won’t take any shit from anyone, whether it’s from andrew or some random Karen screaming at one of his coworkers for giving her daughter a tattoo she didn’t approve of. he can and will tear someone to shreds, and as much as kevin hates it (“Neil that’s bad for business, you can’t verbally abuse the clients”), andrew is very amused

kevin secretly also really likes neil. it’s hard not to—he says everything kevin wouldn’t dream of and sees through all of kevin’s bullshit. also he’s ridiculously hot and incredibly good at his job, and there’s nothing kevin appreciates more than talent and competence

after, idk, a month? of getting nowhere to unraveling neil’s past, andrew invites him for drinks.

kevin is there of course and pre-approved the decision. matt comes along bc he doesn’t trust andrew in the slightest and he loves neil. renee is there to make sure no one actually gets murdered. seth just shows up bc he thinks something funny might happen, like another fight

not strictly relevant, but allison, dan, and nicky working at the bar/club they frequent??? a Concept.

andrew and kevin are both pretty surprised to find out that neil doesn’t drink. they try and “convince” him otherwise, but neil refuses and short of drugging him, there’s not really anything they can do

nothing really happens the first couple of hours. nicky flirts with neil a couple of times, neil doesn’t notice, the usual. things take a turn when neil spots kevin’s tattoo. other than that, the night was a bust

since this is an au, idgaf what’s in their past. reader interpretation, use ur imagination, go crazy. however, whatever kevin was involved with, neil was somehow tangled up in too. that part stays the same

he doesn’t mention it

he doesn’t mention it

he doesn’t mention it

and then, of course, he mentions it

it’s not on purpose or in anyway eloquent. they probably get into some sort of fight while closing up and it just slips out

there’s a moment of “oh shit”, the complete understanding that passes through the two of them

they don’t mention it

except they do, because andrew finds out

he and neil have a another “talk” bc yeah andrew might run the flower shop, but if neil brings trouble from kevin’s past back to him now, when he’s doing so much better, andrew can and will actually commit homicide

and that’s the start of their relationship!

well, no, not really. neil still takes a while to warm up to them, and a while longer to start feeling any sort of romantic attraction to them. and of course that’s after he realizes they’re even a couple, because trust me, with those two is always questionable whether or not they’re even friends. or acquaintances. or on speaking terms

also they have to eventually talk about everything. set boundaries, clear the air. neil gives them piece by piece looks into his past. it’s slow work, but it’s a little bit of trust given by someone who has never trusted anyone before.

yeah so anyways everyone thought KevinAndAndrew was confusing? well they don’t know what the fuck is going on with KevinAndAndrewAndNeil

what they do know is that kevin and neil do some of the best tattoos in the country. what they do know is that andrew and neil take smoke breaks together in the back alley, halfway between their two shops. what they do know is that andrew and kevin have adopted neil into their relationship and the three of them are so close-knit, it almost becomes impossible to find one away from the others at any given moment

what they do know is that at least twice a week, the short, blond, very scary flower-shop guy walks into a tattoo parlor and a 6-foot tall intimidating tattoo artist and 5’3 ginger with a sharp tongue and sharper attitude immediately stop what they’re doing and go meet him

that’s pretty much it. scary blonde who sells roses for a living falls for scary tattoo artist who doesn’t seem to believe in tattoos. both these idiots then fall for the (not at first glance) scary new guy who is obviously trouble, because this is a tatto/flower shop au, and everyone loves the broken badass with a heart of gold.

there’s something to be said here about the most intimidating and kick-ass power couple (throuple?) ever

also it’s funny bc based on appearances alone, everyone expects neil to run the flower shop, and kevin and andrew to do tattoos. boy are they in for a surprise though, because andrew knows every single flower you could ever think of sticking in a bouquet, and neil could operate a tattoo gun blindfolded

ALSO they all get matching tattoos at some point bc they’re idiots and in love and it probably has a whole crap ton of heartfelt meaning that i don’t want to explain bc i feel like i’ve rambled forever at this point and still said nothing significant

oh and neil 100% gives kevin a coverup, replacing his old tattoo with something else.

there’s all kinds of plants decorating the parlor courtesy of andrews shop, and neil and kevin design andrew’s logo

and betsy makes everyone flower crowns at some point. andrew refuses to acknowledge it i’m any way, but dutifully wears it regardless. neil wears it to work the entire day, and after hangs it in his office-thing. whatever tattoo parlors have. kevin straight up refuses to wear it but neil wears him down and he puts it on for like 20 minutes. there’s even pictures to prove it

[yuzusorbet]

A beautiful and moving fan account of GPF Torino 2019, by a fan who lives in Turin, Italy.

THE YUZU CHRONICLES IN TURIN – DAY ONE

Yuzu is in my town. Yuzu is in my town. I can’t quite believe it: I’m having breakfast and can’t quite believe it, I go out and can’t quite believe it, I get on the subway and… yes, I start to believe it, since I’m surrounded by Poohs. So many Asian women, so many Skate Canada/FaOI/Continue with Wings bags. When I get off, I can feel the thrill: in less than one hour, I’m going to see Yuzu live! In my town! As soon as I reach the Palavela, I meet other fans: some I met last year in Helsinki, some I never met before, but it doesn’t matter. Here we are, all for Yuzu, all with Yuzu, hoping and feeling and praying and focusing for him and with – and that’s something so strong that all the differences between us – country, age, social/economical/cultural status – disappear. It’s just so beautiful (and important) to be here, together, when Yuzuru is skating at the Grand Prix Final. At last. I find a good seat – mine is not bad, but there are better places where I can settle down and watch the practice – and wait for Yuzu. The arena is not totally full but there are many people here anyway: (nearly) all for Yuzu? A roaring, thunderous shout is the answer: YES! And Yuzu has just appeared… alone. Where’s Brian, or Tracy, or Ghislain? Nobody knows, at the moment. He puts his beloved Pooh on the balustrade, then waits for the Zamboni to resurface the ice, and finally enters the rink: he bends down, touches the ice, and takes off. Yes, I can’t find another way to tell what he does: does he skate? For sure. Does he dance? Definitely. But he flies. The impression is there’s always some room between his blades and the ice, an inch of air allowing him to just float. And the noise he makes on the ice is just so different from the noise made by all the other skaters… you could close your eyes and tell when Yuzu is skating just listening to him. But of course it’s so mesmerizing to watch him: when you see him live, you catch something that you can guess even watching his videos, but that is so strong and obvious here. You can call it aura, or charisma: something so overwhelming that I feel blessed and hypnothised at the same time. The practice goes by very fast. Yuzu skates… what to say? He fell a couple of times; he pops a couple of jumps (one at the beginning of Origin run-through); his skating is so graceful, though, and solid, and pure, that no fall and no popped jump can damage its beauty at all. Moreover, he had so many outstanding moments: all his 4S and 4T and 3A; the 4T-euler-3F sequence; an unusual 3A-3A sequence; the 4Lo he lands (majestic)… and the 4Lz he lands (royal)! Really: as soon as I understand he’s going to jump a 4Lz, I cross all of my fingers and clench my teeth and… and he jumps. Cleanly, beautifully. Never underestimate Mr. Hanyu: I’d better remember Brian’s words. Finally, he cools down. A slow Italian song, Di sole e d’azzurro (“Of sun and light blue”) by Giorgia, is filling the arena. Yuzu gets in tune with it and starts his usual sequence: grand pliés, arabesques, ports de bras… in this moment, he really looks, he is Baryshnikov on ice. I don’t know how he can do it, but he’s able to fill my heart with fire and calm at the same time. Maybe it’s “just” beauty, or poetry. Maybe it’s “just” love.

THE YUZU CHRONICLES IN TURIN – DAY TWO: SHORT PROGRAM

How hard it is to write today, I’m not even sure I should. I drink some more tea and check my watch: it’s 11 pm. I should work a bit. Maybe writing will heal my heart a bit, though, so okay, let’s start. Let’s go back to Thursday. The day of the short program. I reach the Palavela at 6.15 p.m. I was here for Yuzu’s practice in the morning – and it was so good: my favourite training outfit (black and grey shirt), some stunning jumps (the 4Lutz!), the impression that he’s floating in kind of a bubble of brightness – and now I’m back. There’s no queue and I get quickly into the arena. There are Chinese fans providing small banners to cheer for Yuzu. There are people gathered at the Edea stand, taking picture by a big poster of Yuzu. There’s an Italian man (a volunteer from the Palavela staff, I’d say) giving out pictures of Yuzu, with a long queue of ladies in front of him. And there are so many Poohs, everywhere. I just love this context, this atmosphere, but I can’t ignore the tension that is slowly making its way inside me. A couple of hours and Yuzu will compete. I can’t wait to see him, but at the same time I don’t want to see him. I want to pay my most heartfelt tribute to the most amazing skater in history, but I know I’ll quake with fear. How can I feel like that for someone I don’t even know personally? I think about that bubble of brightness, the sound of his blades, the grace of his arms, the fire in his eyes: of course I can, for someone like Yuzu.

Time to reach my seat and watch the opening ceremony. Time to wait for Yuzu. A presenter who speaks a bad English  – and I wait for Yuzu. Some famous Italian skaters who perform nicely – and I wait for Yuzu. The pairs’ short program – and I wait for Yuzu. Some more minutes. And here he is, for the warm-up. Still alone with his Pooh. Since yesterday , the rumours about Ghislain’s absence are never ending – he had an accident, he’s got problem with his visa, what kind of visa does he need to come to Italy?? – but they end now. Yuzuru is there, and when he takes off his Japan jacket and reveals his costume, he looks like a dream from my childhood: my mother would read me a fairy tale before sleeping, and when I closed my eyes I would think (or dream already) of princes and castles and singing birds and starry nights… and in this very moment, with his costume sparkling like a constellation, Yuzuru is  almost the incarnation of that enchanted realm I envisioned when I was young and innocent, and so happy. And I would probably lose myself into that dream, if I wasn’t aware of the fact that the short program is going to start. Yuzuru will be the last one to take the ice. Before, I watch the other five skaters: Boyang Jin, Dmitri Aliev, Alexander Samarin, Kevin Aymoz – and, of course, Nathan Chen. He’s good but not perfect: his 4Lz looks pre-rotated, the exit from his 3A is a bit problematic, the second jump of his combination is short and definitely not effortless. But he scores more than 110 points. Just a handful of hundredths behind Yuzu’s record. What, how, why? I look at Eleonora, an Italian fan sitting by my side, and I know that my face must show the same feelings displaying on hers: awareness and wistfulness. It’s the same old story, isn’t it? As long as Yuzuru and Nathan do not compete directly against each other, Yuzuru’s scores are way higher than Nathan’s; but as soon as they share the same ice, the scoring system seems to turn upside down. Yuzu, oh, Yuzu … He’s on the ice, taking his starting position. The first note of Otoñal fills the arena – nothing else can be heard, not even the occasional coughing here and there. Yuzu, oh, Yuzu, please… Some steps, some transitions, 4S. Natural like a leaf floating in the tranquil stream of a river. Twizzles, 3A, twizzles. Pure harmony. We all wait for the last jumps, the combination. 4T… and no triple. No triple. Manuela and I look at each other. What score will these judges award to this program? To two perfect jumps, and a perfect step sequence, and perfect spins, and an obvious mistake? The answer comes soon: 97.43 points. 13 points behind Nathan. Can Yuzu still win, with these judges? Because I still haven’t look at the protocol, but it’s clear that he didn’t get the points he deserved for the Salchow, the Axel, the spins. And I’m quite sure that, even if he had been perfect, he would have earned something like 111, or 112 – no more than that. And I am sad. And angry. And I need to talk, to talk a lot, like every time I feel sad and angry. It’s a good thing that I’m not alone in front of my PC but amongst hundreds of fanyus, so we can share our sadness, our anger, and talk, talk a lot: while my friend Paolo and I walk to the subway station, while we find out that the subway isn’t working at the moment, while we call a taxi, while we share the fare with two Germans and a Japanese… …but as soon as I get off the taxi and start walking home, all my sadness and anger calm down. They don’t disappear; they just shrink to give room to something  – someone – much more important: Yuzu. I wonder how he’s feeling  now. Mad at himself, disappointed, too tired to feel anything else than an urgent need to just go to bed and sleep? And Ghislain is not there… Oh, Yuzu, how I would like to do something for you; something useful, not only feeling this dull pain in my chest and complaining about the scores. If only I could, I would give you a hug – to comfort you, to protect you. Or maybe I would take your hand and take you to the Po river. It’s quite close, you know? And there’s a beautiful park, called Valentino, with meadows descending gently  to the water. We would watch the river flow for a while, talking only if you wished to, then I would take you to Fiorio. Have someone told you about this ancient café in the centre of Turin? There are old huge mirrors, armchairs in red velvet, big rococo chandeliers, and a creaking wooden floor; we could sit there, order a hot chocolate or their famous gianduia (hazelnuts +chocolate) ice-cream; and for a few moments, for only a few moments, you could close your eyes, savour that new, creamy taste on your tongue, and forget about those damn 13 points, that damn combo… but probably you don’t want to forget, do you? You want to understand what happened, and why, and plan what you have to do now. Just don’t spend the whole night watching your SP again and again, right? Oh God, I sound like an old auntie. I open the door of my apartment. Sadness and anger are like a faint but constant throb in my stomach. Will I be able to sleep, tonight? I’m not sure, but it’s not so important. What’s important, is that Yuzu can sleep, and Ghislain arrives in Torino, and the judges come to their senses. Have sweet dreams, Yuzu, my wonderboy.

THE YUZU CHRONICLES IN TURIN – DAY THREE: QUAD AXEL

Fear. Joy. Worry. Fury. Emotion. What a day, the third day of the Grand Prix Final.  And yet, it was supposed to be a quiet day, for us fanyus: no competition, only some practice. When it comes to Yuzu, though, quietness looks scarily like a storm, and there’s nothing we can do about it: there’s no way to be even remotely prepared to all the ideas, visions, plans and dreams that cross Yuzu’s mind and that he chooses to act out. That’s why I’m more or less calm, when I get to the Palavela. “More or less” because I had a tough night: I kept on tossing and turning in my bed, thinking about the short program, constantly grabbing and turning off my phone – eager to read anything the web could provide me about it, and scared by possible haters and nasty posts.  So now I’m still sad and angry, but also too tired to have very strong feelings: sadness is a dull, feeble pain in my chest, anger a whisper that I try to ignore. I queue, get inside, talk with some friends. A few minutes, and Yuzu appears. Alone with Pooh: so Ghislain hasn’t arrived yet. Gosh, it’s all so wrong. The scores, the absence of Yuzu’s coach… we are in the middle of the Grand Prix Final and there were a bunch of bad omens already. No, I don’t want to be so negative. Yuzu needs to feel, to breath optimism and trust. Think positive, Alessandra; for the sake of Yuzu, think beautiful, think glorious! But it’s Yuzu, the one who’s beautiful and glorious. I always loved all kinds of practices and rehearsals: when some ballet company comes to my town, I always try and ask permission to attend a class, or some rehearsal. I love to see a work in progress, and all the commitment and efforts that artists, dancers and athletes put into their performances. No costumes, no lights, sometimes not even music: just the focus, sweat and love needed to succeed. When practicing, Yuzuru is like that, of course, but he also has – is – something different. The way he can look incredibly focused – and actually a bit dangerous – and turn suddenly into a playful child. The long talks he has with himself. His ability to ignore all the people watching him, just to thank everyone with a deep bow. His unexpected smiles, his gloved fingers pointing here and there while he’s planning and calculating who knows what. The lightness of his warm-ups, the grace of his cool-downs. When you watch him practice, it’s like watching a painter create a masterpiece right in front of you: his (sometimes bizarre) rituals, his methods, some surprises, the development of his work – art coming to life stroke by stroke, bit by bit: and you realize how big the privilege is to witness greatness in the making. So, warm-up. Jumps. No spins (has Yuzu ever done a spin in any practice?). Run-through. Other jumps. And then. He has just tried a new sequence for the free skate, 3A3A; so, when he skates in my direction, I think that he will try that sequence again: oh yes, he’s preparing an Axel. Then he throws himself into the jump and pops it, landing heavily on two feet. Ouch, I hope it was not painful as it looked… he skates around the rink, then again in my direction. Does he want to try the Axel again? He throws himself into the jump and pops it, landing heavily on two feet… Wait. He’s not popping his jumps. He’s jumping like this on purpose. And he jumps so high. Okay, his Axels are always very high, but now he’s really taking off as if he wanted to touch the roof with his fingers! I turn to Lys and Giovanna, who sit behind me. We look at each other, knowingly. Yes. Yuzu is practicing the 4A. As if he wanted to confirm what we’re thinking, he throws himself into the jump again, but this time he doesn’t pop it: he rotates it. One rotation, two, three, four… he lands before completing the last half turn, crashing on the ice. A collective gasp runs through the audience, someone screams, I grab and squeeze Lys’ calf in my hands. Oh God, Yuzu, stop it. Oh no, Yuzu, don’t stop it, let me see it again. No no no, on the contrary, don’t do it, be careful. Well, be careful but try once again… and he tries: another jump, under rotated as well, another fall. The audience is hypnotized. Someone shouts, someone cries, but it sounds like nobody could break the silence surrounding Yuzu. He seems alone now, as if no skater was in the rink but him. He skates in my direction again, and I count every second, one two three four five, until he jumps again. One rotation, two, three, four… and a half. Four and a half. Then he lands and crash on the ice again. But he made it. He has just jumped a quad Axel.

And the Palavela explodes. Shouts, cries, applause, people standing, people frozen in their seats, people scared, people happy, people who don’t fully understand what happened, but we all sense the truth: today, we were so lucky to witness history in the making. The practice is over, and Yuzu exits the rink followed by the loudest applause ever – and the longest too: our jubilation began way before he took his bows. When he disappears, everybody starts talking about his 4A. Someone’s almost mad at him (“I hope his mom is going to slap some sense into him!”), someone’s reverently astonished (“Have you seen the height of that quad? How much it was, about 95 centimetres?”), we all look on the edge of a nervous breakdown. It was supposed to be a quiet day, wasn’t it? But we should have known better than this. Because it’s Yuzu, and Yuzu always wants to climb higher walls, to aim for wider goals; to go beyond the horizon of what is possible for us, normal human beings. And this is one of the reasons why he is who he is; this is one of the reasons why we love him so much. There are winners, but he’s a champion. There are athletes, but he’s a history maker. And I left the Palavela with tears in my eyes, vibrant love in my heart.

THE YUZU CHRONICLES IN TURIN – DAY FOUR: FREE SKATE

So here I am, not really ready for… how should I call it? The showdown? Maybe. Who are the main characters in this fight, though? Yuzu and Nathan? Yuzu and the judges, more likely. And I’m not sure it’s going to be a fair fight. No matter if the knight in his shining armour has a marvellous sword made of an outstanding technical value and of wonderful components: his opponent can be petty and play dirty, and only in fairy-tales Good always triumphs over Evil. The free skate is about to begin. The morning has been long and tiring already: we all had to queue in the dark and in the cold before Yuzu’s practice at 7 am (thank God I met some friends, like Petra and Astrid, so that I could talk a bit and I didn’t have to queue by myself, alone and anxious), then there was a collective scream when Ghislain made his appearance in the arena (he’s here! He’s here! FINALLY!!), then… well, then there was Yuzu’s practice, and watching Yuzu live is always an unique experience, no matter what he’s doing: it’s like when you’re a child and for the first time you see something unknown which surprises and bewitches you – Peter Pan is on stage and Tink is going to die, unless you clap your hands and shout: “ I do believe in fairies!”, full of emotions and on the brim of tears… After the practice I went home, walked my dogs, worked a bit: everything just to keep anxiety at bay. Now I should be tired, and probably I am; but I’m too nervous, and I have too much adrenaline running in my blood, to feel tired. I just want to see Yuzu skate. I just want to see Yuzu happy with his performance. I just want to see Yuzu win? Of course: because I want him to be happy, and I know how important for his happiness it is to win; because he’s the best skater in the whole world, and I’d like him to be acknowledged as the king he is. But CAN he win? I’m afraid not. I’m afraid that he can win only if Nathan falls, more than one time and quite hard: not just with his hands or his knee on the ice, but with his whole body… is that what I want? Do I really want Nathan to fail so badly? I wish I could instantly say: no, of course I don’t want it. But I must confess that I can’t, and I hate this unfair scoring system for this reason too: because it awakens the darkest part of me, and pulls out of me my worst feelings and thoughts. I’ve seen so many figure skating competitions, and I’ve always hoped that all the skaters could skate clean – may the best win! Since the 2018-2019 skating season, though, as the new scoring system showed more and more its limits and its unfairness, I found out how hard it is for me to go beyond my own limits, to be fair and good. So, while I’m waiting for the skaters to make their appearance in the arena, I try to think “May the best win”, but I’m not convinced. Nathan, I’m sorry, but could you please fall? Not too hard, okay, but could you undoubtedly, unquestionably fall? Or at least make several obvious mistakes, so that the so-called judges can see who’s the real king of figure skating? Oh, God, I hate myself. I have no time to blame myself, though: the music signalling the beginning of the competition suddenly resounds in the whole arena, louder than ever, and the lights go down. While the speaker is announcing what we’re about to see, there’s a collective start: the skaters are gathered just outside the rink. In the dim light I can’t tell who’s who, I just see some distant heads, but I recognise Yuzu immediately. I can’t see his features very well, but I could recognise him even if he was amongst a thousand people in the dark.  The simple way he stands is so peculiar. So elegant. And when he enters the rink for the warm-up and bows to the audience, he looks so noble and proud: he’s aware that all eyes are on him, all hearts are with him. Is this awareness giving him strength? Or is it a burden? In a moment like this, when there’s so much at stake for him, I would like – I would need – how I should behave to help him as much as possible. Screaming his name until I lose my voice? Clapping my hands politely and nothing more? If only I could know the answer; if only I could be of use for you, Yuzu… …and the warm-up is over. Already? Yes, already. And I cannot watch the first four skaters, not really, because I’m waiting for Yuzu, and skater after skater my heart beats faster and my hands get sweaty and cold. I’m so full of fear, and anticipation, and love. May the best win: may Yuzu win. And there he is. So handsome that watching him I feel my eyes burn like when I try and look at the sun. May Yuzu win. So dear to my heart that I want to see him but somehow I can’t stand seeing him, so I put a hand on my eyes and watch him through my fingers, just like a child watching a scary movie. May Yuzu win… 4Lo: perfect. 4Lz: perfect as well. 3Lz: perfect again. 4S: per-fect… I’m watching the competition live so I can’t see how the judges are scoring each element of Yuzu’s skate, and I don’t know whether it’s a blessing or a curse; anyway, so far he’s been outstanding, the judges have to give him very high GOE… 4T+euler+3F. Step out, maybe the 3F was a bit under rotated? Come on, Yuzu. 4T+…2T. He’s tired. But the quad was fantastic. Come on, Yuzu, you can do it, only the sequence 3A+3A is missing… alright, here comes his trademark, the counter back, and then… single Axel. Okay Yuzu, it’s okay, just go on, go on! Last spin. Final pose – and Yuzu can’t take it anymore, he’s so tired that the final pose lasts for less than one second, then he puts his arms and forehead on the ice, gasping for air. This is not an asthma attack, right? For a moment, I gasp for air too. Then Yuzu stands up, and bows to the audience, and I go wild like everyone else here, I scream, I cry, I throw my Winnie the Pooh on the ice, I clap my hand, I lose any awareness of myself – lost as I am in Yuzu, burning with pride and emotion. Yuzu, you made it. Five, five perfect quads, and one was that fated 4Lz. Okay, your skate wasn’t completely clean, but it was so special, and so much more than a simple “skate”: it was so full of humanity, and struggle, and glory. It wasn’t just a performance: it was a tale, and how beautifully you told it. How unforgettably.

Yuzu and Ghislain sit in the Kiss&Cry forever. Considering that picking up all the Poohs took a long while, it’s clear that the judges are having trouble with Yuzu’s score. Why? Why? The first answer coming to my mind flows directly out of the worst part of me: because they are probably looking for elements they can underscore. Oh no, please, no… “The score, please,” the speaker says. And here it is. 194 points. Technical score, 100.36; PCS, 93.64. This is not a score. This is a joke, and I can’t stand it anymore. Because I know, I simply know that Nathan will not only win, but he will set a new world record, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the judges give him higher PCS than Yuzu’s. I’m sorry, usually I’m not so mean; right now, though, I just can’t sit here, be polite and show any kind of sportsmanship. Those so-called judges have just humiliated the most amazing person in the whole world, and I can’t stay here and watch them play their foul game anymore. So I stand up and run out, and to hell this competition and its rules and everything. As soon as I’m in the hallway, I meet other people: some Asian women who don’t want to talk, and two girls from Los Angeles. They’re even angrier than me, and for the three of us it’s a bit soothing to share our indignation and to spit out all the rage we are feeling. If only our rage could be useful, somehow… it isn’t, though: in a few minutes we get to know that, of course, Nathan won, and that, of course, he set a new world record. So I was right, and I couldn’t be less proud of my foresight. Waiting for the victory ceremony is hard. As my friend Jacqueline and I queue at a café, rage gets less and less burning, turning into a heavy burden of bitterness. Will there ever be a way out of this shameful situation? A squad of incompetent (corrupted? Hopefully not) judges, an International Union doing nothing to promote fair competing and judging, and Yuzuru paying the biggest price. The whole queue, the whole Palavela is talking about it, but what for? We can’t change anything. We can only go back to our seats and cheer for Yuzu, make him feel how much we are proud of what he has achieved today – because that’s the truth: no matter how much the judges underscore him, no matter how many times they make him lose a competition, he’s the greatest skater of all time. It’s his technique that coaches refer to when they need to teach their skaters how to do a perfect jump/spin/transition; it’s him the one who always tries new combinations, new moves; it’s him who forced the ISU to change the rules in order to keep up with his greatness; it’s him who yesterday – just yesterday! – showed us that the 4A is possible. Only. Him. Time for the victory ceremony. And what a weird ceremony is this one. Not a single clap for any representative of any skating association, from ISU to the Italian Federation. People clap their hands for Kevin and Nathan, that’s it. For Yuzu, instead… for Yuzu, there’s an acclamation. This is not only a tribute to what he did here: this is a declaration of love and, at the same time, a battle cry. Yes, Yuzu, we love you, and we stand by you, and we will fight as much as we can to make those “experts” - those idiots who presume they have the right to judge you and humiliate you – acknowledge your magnificence. Our battle cry is so loud and never ending that Yuzu himself is astonished, overwhelmed, and points to Nathan as if he was saying “Thank you, but look, he’s the winner”. You are right, Yuzu: Nathan is the winner, yes.  In our hearts, though, you won  so much more than a competition. You came here, you fought your limits and fears (the 4A, the 4Lz, 5 quads plus transitions plus skating skill plus musicality plus grace), and you prevailed. You’re not only a king: you are a warrior king. The arena is full of signs with the writing “Unfair judgment”. For the first time at a competition, I hear boos from the audience. Okay, Yuzu. Let the battle start.

THE YUZU CHRONICLES IN TURIN – DAY FIVE: NOTTE STELLATA

It’s 9.30 a.m. and the Pellerina looks peaceful and welcoming. It’s a big park in western Turin, and I came here with my dogs to find some rest. After four days of Grand Prix – four days of Yuzu – I feel like a kaleidoscope: full of whirling colours, hypnotic spirals, and surprising patterns. It’s amazing, but it’s exhausting too. There are three ponds here, a big river and so many trees, and birds. I think you’d like the Pellerina, Yuzu; maybe you’d like all of my town. Its numerous parks, the long tree-lined avenues, the creamy colour of its buildings from the XVIIth and XVIIIth century. I would have loved to be your guide, allowing you to take a break from the mad, unfair competition that this GPF has been. I can’t even start to imagine how much tired you are, and it would have been nice to take you out – it would have been magic to see you here, walking under the trees, looking at the ducks in the ponds, smiling while my dogs play and run freely… but you prefer to stay at the Palavela, don’t you? Walking around the rink where Plushenko won in 2006, looking at the Olympic rings on the wall, chatting with your fellow skaters. Are you rehearsing for the gala? I hope you’re having fun. I check my watch: 10.15; it’s time to go. The gala will begin at 2 p.m., but I want to get to the arena at about 12 and spend some quality time with my friends. Actually, surviving the rollercoaster of this GPF would have been much harder, without all the lovely fanyus around me. Yesterday, after the medal ceremony, some members of our fan group met at the Edea stand inside the Palavela; it was so crowded and narrow and noisy, but ranting all together about the judges, praising Yuzu and taking pictures were exactly the things I needed to forget my sadness for a while, to turn my anger into good energy. Then Jacqueline and I went to Eataly, a famous restaurant and supermarket, and drank our bitterness away, turning quickly from being fans to being friends (and a bit drunk). Then… Eleonora, Petra, Linda, Shuko, Rory, Mara, Astrid, Barbara, and many others with whom I talked so much, inside and outside the Palavela, and stuck together through hope and rage, pain and love. Paolo, my faithful travelling (on many subway trains) companion. Lys and Carolina, who spent countless hours talking and crying and hugging and laughing and cursing with me. All the unknown fanyus in the audience, when we melted into one body with thousands of voices to scream out loud our love for Yuzu. It was a treat, and an honour, to meet so many beautiful people, and I know that as soon as the gala is over – as soon as I say good-bye to them all – I will feel empty, somehow, and alone. I drive back home, feed my dogs, then I’m ready to go to the Palavela for the last time… for the last time? I can’t quite believe it: from tomorrow on, I won’t see Yuzu every day. This week has been tough, but so intense: the thrill of the competition, for sure, but most of all the spell that Yuzu put on anyone watching him. His commitment, the 4A, his beauty, the stunning comeback of the 4Lz… I’m bewitched. And I’m pampered too, now that I’m (almost) used to see him so often: me wants Yuzu every day! The queue is endless as usual – I wait for my turn, apologizing silently to all the people here for how very badly this event was organised – but finally I’m able to get in.  With other fanyus, I wonder which exhibition program Yuzu is going to skate: Haru Yo Koi? Yes, Yuzu must be so tired, he will rather skate something not too physically straining. Masquerade? Well, many of us would love to see it live… some time before the gala, though, we find out that he’s going to skate Notte Stellata. Oh yes, it makes sense: he’s in Italy, in an Olympic venue, of course he has chosen the Italian song he skated to in Pyeongchang. Now that I think of it, it’s always like that with Yuzu: we always try to guess what kind of music/program he will choose for the new season/an exhibition and he always surprises us, even though his choices are perfectly sensible. And I must confess that any choice would be great for me: I’m quite sure I could watch Yuzu doing cross-overs for half an hour and I wouldn’t get bored. Notte Stellata… I never saw it live. Will it be an experience as strong as it was seeing Haru Yo Koi in Helsinki? Yes, it is. So much that, after seeing it, I will forget all the other performances. So much that, while seeing it, I cry. Usually I’m not the crying kind, but watching Yuzu float like a swan on a frozen lake brings tears to my eyes. Yesterday, after the free skate, a friend of mine wrote me this message: “Each movement seems to take him beyond the limits of his human body and to emanate grace and elegance, filling your eyes and lingering in the air even as he glides into a new step”. I also think of what the Olympic commentator said about this program: “With one delayed single Axel and one triple Axel, Yuzuru Hanyu, double gold medallist, just gave a masterclass on what figure skating actually is”. Yes, that’s what figure skating actually is. Going beyond one’s physical limits on a quest for grace, elegance, and beauty. Giving goose-bumps and tears to each and every witness of this travel from what’s known to the unknown, from sport to art. What figure skating actually is, is Yuzuru Hanyu. His last spin goes on and on, even if there’s not music anymore, just like Yuzu will go on and on: in our memory, in our heart, in the history as well as in the future of this sport. And while I scream at the top of my lungs, and clap my shaking hands, I thank Yuzu: for these five days in Turin. For how alive and privileged I’ve felt. For showing me that there can be greatness even in defeat. Ganbatte for Japan Championships and for the rest of your skating season, Yuzu, but don’t worry: somehow, you are always, always, the winner.

--written by Alessandra Montrucchio (in Yuzuru Hanyu International Fan Group on FB), re-posted here with her permission. Pics belong to original owners.

[hwqll]

hello!! just thought I'd stop by and say thank u for making content for us!! your little creations help make my day go by a little better :) also I thought I should ask whats your favorite thing about each tbz members if you dont mind? I'm in the mood to adore these boys more! 💞🥰

that's so sweet thank you for appreciating my content ( ´∀｀)ノ～ ♡ i'm glad i could help make your day even the slightest bit!!

here are my favorite things about each member :D it's very long i'm sorryy but my tbz love switch activated

sangyeon: his fatherly aura! i may joke around and say that sangy is in his prime age/retirement but thats really only because he gives off such dad vibes. he's super caring for both his nephews and tbz it makes me really fond && i'm glad tbz could rely on him ;;

jacob: his kindness! it's rly no joke that jacob is an angel(even though he could be a lil bully sometimes) as he is actually extremely nice 24/7 :') i love hearing tbz rave ab how kindhearted it is all the time. though a very very close runner up for my second favorite thing i have to mention is his voice. it's so soft all the time i could listen to him speak forever rly

younghoon: the way he gets shy after doing any fan service! he'll often cover his face up with his hands or hide behind a member nd i think that's super cute of him ;; i do want him to be more bold with doing fan service for the sake of confidence but even after almost 3 years he's still a shy baby !!

hyunjae: WHEN HE LAUGHS! i'm saying this in caps bc his face goes (ᗒᗜᗕ) and i LOVE it. he laughs at everything and when he does he'll throw his body back LOL or hit another member. it's also so loud like gosh his laughing is so genuine it instantly turns me fond

juyeon: his compassion! thinking about how kind and sensitive jy is makes me want to sob lowkey bc it's so well known how nice he is via past classmates and the present rn. he has a lot of sweet moments but the most recent one in particular was when he made a TINY mistake during their shangri-is stage on rtk and was so heartbroken he cried. this alone shows how much he cares ab his performance a ton for the sake of himself and tbz. he's clearly hard on himself which makes me :( and i do hope he lowers his own standards

kevin: his dorkiness lol!! kev has amazing art and vocal skills that'll never fail to impress me, however, the way he speaks is so hilarious to me because he's a living meme. he's had countless awk moments that make me go, "oh, kevin you fool" that make me laugh all the time and make me want to protect him. all of his moments are incredibly memorable and i love how he vibes

chanhee: his interactions! so chanhee vlives are my favorite thing ever by himself or with another member bc he won't hold back from speaking (?) like an example would be when he argues with deobis for 15 minutes about why he hates tomatoes HAHA or another one is when changmin runs his mouth and he just goes "SEE, EVERYONE, this is ji changmin" smmfnss it's just something of his personality that entertains me he acts the same with everyone including the fans

changmin: his passion for dance/being an idol in general! now this is a lil controversial for me because changmin puts so much effort and detail into practicing BUT he's so hard on himself T____T i'm really glad that he puts perfecting himself at the top priority though i wish he would put his mental health before that. he's rarely satisfied with himself and just the thought DEVASTATES me because in many deobis eyes he's so incredibly skilled yet he doesn't see that about himself. ofc i don't know everything about him but this is just what he's revealed on camera ;; please love yourself baby you're amazing

haknyeon: his vocals! he has a lower tone like changmin when it comes to singing and it's truly the most beautiful thing ever. i think it's butterfly or lucid dream where his vocals are just CHEF'S KISS. also his part in bloom bloom right after kevin's is my favorite thing in the world i wish hak got more lines he deserves it :"( checkmate too!!! when he and changmin are singing at the same time then it's just him ahh i admire it. sry this is just a "my favorite hak vocals" because i don't see many ppl mention it often but it really does deserve attention nd his vocals are engrained in my memory

hyunjoon: I MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM but truly my favorite thing from the literal beginning of seeing him to now is his resting scowl. he's the embodiment of a house cat bc he's intimidating looking and then he just hits you with the i'm babie! he was a popular favorite amongst his hyungs and just thinking about that it makes me soft bc he was tbz' resident baby boy HAHA but then alas he would go on stage and attack all deobis simultaneously with his power ;;

sunwoo: his dual personality! to me, sw is the funniest person in tbz snmfhss he's so hilarious out of nowhere and during variety shows/vlives he's the one that makes me laugh the most. he is tbz #1 bully YET he's also just . the most generous boy. it's really clear that he is appreciative of his members all the time and everyone/thing rly. whenever i read his fancafes my heart just melts into a puddle because he's honestly extremely selfless ;; i swear i can hear him vividly say "i love you deobis" in my head because he says it so often

eric: LOML!! him and sunwoo have a tie in my heart for being the sweetest boys on earth. what made me bias him is how grateful he is as a person like he'll cry at the mere THOUGHT of tbz as his family and i just Q___Q at the way he cares for his members. he also posts many letters and selcas to deobis which are super motivating and lovely. i will forever adore that his key phrase is "always remember, eric loves you!" because it's his thing nd everyone knows it is!! i just wanna tell it straight to his face i treasure all the heartfelt messages he posts on a daily as it genuinely makes my day a lil bit better each time i see it ;;

[lajnias]

50 questions game!

i was tagged by @quinnhughs (thanks rachel!!)

what is the color of your hairbrush? i have a tangle teezer which is hot and pastel pink

name a food you never eat? i too Hate olives so i stay away from them 

are you typically too warm or too cold? i get hot pretty easily (sweaty gang where u at) but also i think i have bad circulation or smth bc my hands and feet are Always cold

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? i was on a zoom call with a couple of people from class bc we are giving a presentation in this afternoon’s seminar

what’s your favourite candy bar? ooooh i Love a twix, it’s so good

have you ever been to a professional sports game? yes! i’ve been to three shl games (did get to see latts live and in person in february, his team lost but it was still okay) and then a couple of pro-handball games. do national teams count as pro? bc i’ve seen a few games with the national handball teams too

what is the last thing you said out loud? i was singing control by kevin garrett so “ooooooh, you have control”

what is your favourite ice cream? the lemon cream one i had when me and my sister went to the fancy gelato place across town....... for more easily accessible ones i like vanilla and pistachio

what was the last thing you had to drink? i had my morning cup of afternoon tea with some milk in it

do you like your wallet? i have one of those wallet cases for my phone which is quite ugly but very functional, so that’s fine. i do own a wallet which is cute but i literally Never use it so idk

what is the last thing you ate? i haven’t had breakfast yet but i did have a cinnamon bun filled with apple compote and almond cream last night which was so delicious

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? no, but i am considering getting a motte girl summer sweatshirt and am also on the lookout for some knit sweaters and or cardigans

what’s the last sporting event you watched? watched the last 10 minutes, ot and the shootout of the linköping-växjö game in the shl on saturday (did see petey’s brother, he did not score) and before that i half-watched h65 höör-sävehof in the she

what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? i don’t think i’ve had like flavored popcorn??? is butter considered a flavor??? bc if so then i guess butter

who is the last person you sent a text message to? my best friend

ever go camping? no but i have slept in a tent

do you take vitamins? no not really, i have a multivitamin in the cupboard and i took those pretty regularly last year but i just sorta Stopped

do you regularly attend a place of worship? nope!

do you have a tan? idk if you can call it a tan but you can still tell that i got a sunburn on my chest this summer, but i’m still very pale

do you prefer Chinese or pizza? don’t think i’ve ever actually had chinese food??????? so pizza by default?

do you drink your soda through a straw? nope not anymore! but i used to, if it was from a fast food place or a restaurant 

what colour socks do you usually wear? mostly black or white but i have a few fun pairs 

do you ever drive above the speed limit? i don’t drive!! i was gonna learn how to and practiced with my dad twice but that was like four years ago........

what terrifies you? being abandoned i guess

look to your left, what do you see? i can see out the window so our garden, which is looking nice and green still even though the weather is underwhelming. i can see the apples on one of the trees!

what chore do you hate most? probably doing dishes bc we don’t have  a dishwasher

what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? that one customs agent on border security australia who once used the word “plausible” when talking to someone who clearly did not speak english very well. i still get mad about it lmao

what’s your favourite soda? sprite zero or orange fanta i think

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? my family usually goes in bc there have been many mistakes made in the drive thru. 

what’s your favourite number? i am not sure but maybe 8 or 24

(mysterious question that ash deleted and is now lost forever but i found it on sray’s version of this!) who's the last person you talked to? irl it was my sister, online it was jd!

favourite cut of beef? oh i this i Do Not Know. i don’t know a lot abt meat so i usually just ask my dad what it is and then forget it straight away

last song you listened to? break my heart by dua lipa

last book you read? just kids by patti smith, i’m only like 40 pages in. the last one i finished was the history of the bees by maja lunde

favourite day of the week? oooh now i think it’s thursdays bc i started playing handball again and that’s when we practice

can you say the alphabet backwards? i tried it and i think i did it??? it was very slow tho and i messed up a few times. so technically i can but i would never be like hey guess what i can do

how do you like your coffee? i don’t

favourite pair of shoes? i currently like my blue vans that i got in like the eighth grade

time you normally get up? i try to set an alarm for like 9-9:30ish 

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? i am only awake for sunsets usually but sunrises are very pretty

how many blankets on your bed? my duvet, and then two blankies. this might upgrade to three when it gets colder 

describe your kitchen plates? they are like a beigy color and they’re round

describe your kitchen at the moment? it’s kinda messy bc we haven’t done the dishes

do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? not really, but i prefer ciders to a lot of things

do you play cards? not really. i usually only did when we were away at tournaments and stuff

what colour is your car? i personally don’t have one, but the one my family has (really my dad, since he’s the only one with a license) is white 

can you change a tire? sure can’t!!

your favourite state? idk we don’t have them and i don’t know that i’ve been somewhere that does, so i’m gonna say the state of dreaming

favourite job you’ve had? i’ve not had very many jobs but i did love the job i had in a library two summers ago, it was the best

tagging: @tysonjost @rantanenmikko @doubleminor @jordaneberle and anyone else who wants to do it!! (but also feel free to not because this is defs a long one)

[side-effect-of-the-meds]

I👏🏻need👏🏻to👏🏻know👏🏻more👏🏻about 👏🏻my👏🏻girls👏🏻

This wasn't specific so I'll just do random things 

Erin loves Twenty one Pilots. Some of the songs appear to be very upbeat until you take a look at the lyrics. It matched the manic energy she had when medicated so she was really into it then. She wouldn't ever listen to it sober bc she hated her drugs. Ania loves ToP's song Screen bc it reminds her of her and Erin. It's a slow path to recovery but Erin slowly falls back in love with them, mostly bc Ania and Aaron like them. 

Ania had a walkman that she carried with her while on the run. It was her mother's until Mary gave it to her. Mary doesn't know that Ania still has it. If she did, she would have burned it. Ania only has one tape for the recorder. She doesn't know it but it's a mixtape Nathan gave Mary for Ania. He knew he wouldn't be there to witness her birth so he made her a mixtape. He's so stupid. How tf was a baby supposed to listen to a mixtape? Regardless, it's a thing. Ania doesn't ever find out but she treasures the walkman and single tape for the rest of her life. 

Kayleigh Day had fiery red hair and blue blue eyes. Sometimes a sleep-deprived Kevin will accidentally call Ania mom. 

Wymack was born and raised in Baltimore. He went to school with Nathan and they had a few classes together. Nathan was the head of the local gang. In exchange for letting Wymack crash at his place when his parents got too heavy-handed, Wymack would run drugs for Nathan. When Ania comes back from Evermore, the first thing Wymack thinks of is Nathan. He doesn't realize that he's literally standing in front of Nathan's daughter. 

I've mentioned this before but Ania was the first baby Wymack ever held. She had icy blue eyes even then. Wymack thinks about baby Nathania whenever he sees Ania. Again he doesn't realize that they're the same person. 

As a baby, Ania didn't laugh or coo or babble. She just kinda sat there. The only people she seemed to like were Kevin and Wymack. She liked to hold their hands and she'd babble softly to them. They'd nod and interject sometimes as if it were a real conversation. 

Before Ania could walk, Riko used to push her around in a stroller and pretend she was a doll. She used to brush her hair and help Mary dress her. 

Tilda hated Aaron because when she'd come to get one of the twins back, she had asked for Erin. At birth, the twins were indistinguishable. She was too hopped up on pain meds to realize the mistake until Erin had been shipped into foster care. 

Erin had a space phase and Aaron had a marine bio phase. Erin can name every constellation in the night sky. You can point to any fish and Aaron tell you it's age and species.

Erin used to love the beach until Drake started taking her. She used to be able to surf too.   

Erin is afraid of the dark for similar reasons. 

Ania has broken every bone in her body at least once. The only exception is her skull. 

The only bone Erin has ever broken in a non-exy related injury or the car accident that killed her mother was her skull. She used to skateboard back in Cali and cracked her skull open trying to grind down a handrail. 

When Erin was less than a year old, her foster parent left the door to the apartment open. She crawled out and fell down the concrete stairs, hitting her head two or three times before they realized she was gone. This actually happened to my little brother. He's fine tho. 

Ania's hands are covered in calluses from a lot of things, mostly holding knives by the blade. Erin likes holding her hands anyway. 

Ania likes to kiss Erin's self-harm scars. 

They get matching key tattoos on the area below their thumb. 

During Christmas at Evermore Riko carved her name onto Ania's back. Ania gets it covered with a really big tattoo, Ronan Lynch style. It's a bunch of symbols from her life meshed together and it's full of Erin's favorite flowers. Ania had wanted a full-color tattoo but black covered the scars up better. 

Every year for Christmas, Erin and Ania spend most of the day in bed. They don't have sex, they just lay there holding each other bc Ania never fully lives down the horror of Christmas at Evermore and Erin is too afraid of hurting her to push it. It becomes a soft holiday for them. It works out well for them when they move up to New York for a while since they’re usually snowed in anyways. 

Ania tutors Aaron in math. She's impatient and math isn't his strong suit so they usually end up fighting. However, he does much better on tests that he studies for with her than without.

Both twins cry when frustrated. Erin sees Aaron crying while cramming for midterms so she grabs her stuff and drops it onto the desk beside him. They stay up studying together. It makes them feel less lonely. 

The twins' handwriting is barely legible. Their notes look like literal chicken scratch but their handwritings are identical. Erin handwrites flashcards for all of Aaron's tests and just leaves them on his desk. At first, he thinks that he wrote them himself and just blacked out right after. He doesn't realize that it's Erin writing them until he comes home from a date with Katelyn to see her dropping a stack of flashcards on his desk. 

Erin writes her notes right to left and backwards. She does this bc so one can read it and they never borrow her notes.

Ania's notes look like they belong on a studyblr. 

Ania gets her doctorate in mathematics. Aaron is salty but he still shows up to see her get it. He shoves a wrapped package at her and stalks off. It's a doctor's coat bc he's a cheesy s.o.b. Ania wears it around the house. Erin tells her she looks like an idiot and she needs to take it off rn. Ania just looks at her like 👀👀👀. Erin's ears are burning bc that is not what she meant. She's not opposed to Ania's implicit suggestion. 

Speaking of Aaron giving Ania presents, he notices that Ania likes the VCSO girl aesthetic. Specifically, the little shell necklaces. He buys her one for her birthday every year. She wears it every day until she gets a new one. The old ones are kept in a box in her bathroom. She takes them out whenever she's feeling down bc each one holds very specific memories. 

Before Nicky leaves, Erin starts spending a lot of time with him. She hugs him super tight at the airport and he nearly misses his flight bc she won't let go. 

Erin and Ania visit Wymack and Abby every year. One time Wymack is scolding Erin for something and she waves it off saying, "Whatever, Dad." The house goes silent. "That didn't happen," she snarls as she stomps off. 

Erin and Erik like to get their nails done together. No, Erin doesn't get full sets. No, I will not elaborate. 

Erin gives the best hugs. Homegirl's got arms like tree trunks. Matt and Ania are the only people who know for a long long time. Eventually, Erin gets comfortable enough to hug Aaron. He nearly dies every time bc it's just so nice. It makes him feel so safe. 

Jeremy, Thea, and Erin will ditch their ravens to practice together and go out on self-care days. They go out to dinner/movies/spas. Bc the three of them live in different parts of the country, they Skype while watching shows so that they can all watch together. 

Jeanie and Jeremy adopt 3 kids. All of them like Aunt Erin best. 

Most of the Foxs' kids like Erin and Ania the best. 

Erin and Ania have their wedding at the Foxhole Court. Aaron walks Erin down the aisle and Kevin walks Ania. They go dress shopping separately but they still end up with the same dress bc they're magic. 

Y’all can totally keep asking about the girls, but I’d appreciate it if y’all could be more specific. It’ll help me a ton. 

[nikothespoonklepto]

Fic request. #92 and #20 for wwwyw. ❤️

Hey sweetness! So you liked my Royal Flush au? Please don’t hurt me like this.”   

I call this ‘Niko stress writing their way through a prompt and hoping for the fucking best’.

Warning: unbetaed WHY DOESN’T THE READMORE WORK?

~

Jean looks to Nathaniel as there is a knock on their door. Normally Riko would just push his way in and do as he pleased, so-

“Open the door, Jean, Nate!” Kevin thumps harder on their door and Nathaniel grumbles as he gets up.

Jean follows behind his partner dutifully, catching the door as its pulled open and is surprised to find Kevin holding a very unsteady, flushed Riko. They had won Championships (again) last week and they just completed their last week of classes as this is Kevin and Riko’s fifth and final year. Meaning they would be walking across Edgar Allen’s stage to graduate next week. In July, they would be joining the Baron’s, the professional exy team in New York City, owned by the Moriyamas. Next year, Andrew, Nathaniel, and Jean would be doing the same.

“Are you drunk?” Nathaniel demands in a hard tone.

“Very,” Kevin sighs. Jean catches his eye and can tell he too had been drinking but stopped when Riko got like this. Jean looks behind them to find Andrew leaning against the opposite wall, arms folded over his chest, staring intently at Riko hanging onto Kevin. “We were drinking with the other fifth-years, just saying goodbye and he started putting away shots like it was his job. He-”

“Did not,” Riko slurs, speaking for the first time and pushing against Kevin’s chest. “Lemme go-”

Jean frowns and looks to Nathaniel, his partner staring hard at Riko, as if he can force answers out of him without saying anything. So Jean opens his arms and Kevin releases his hold on Riko, the striker stumbling into his chest and mumbling into his jersey. 

“Let’s get you into bed,” Jean orders gently in French and grunts when Riko starts struggling. “Riko-”

“No!” Riko stumbles away and Nathaniel grabs his wrist to swing him around, toward their personal bathroom, kicking the door to their room closed. Jean winces and watches Nathaniel silently manhandle their growling partner towards the bathroom, Kevin wishing them good luck from behind the door as he and Andrew leave.

“Let go!” 

“Nate-”

Jean winces again as Riko is unceremoniously shoved into the tub and then Nathaniel turns on the cold water. Riko lets out a shocked yell. Nathaniel still has yet to say a word and Jean can see the tension in his rigid shoulders. Just watching Riko get absolutely drenched, sputtering. Jean lets this go on for almost a full minute and is already stepping forward when Nathaniel does first, switching off the shower.

“What the fuck was that for, Red!?” Riko coughs, wiping at his wet face. Looks like he’s sobered up a bit.

“You don’t get to hurt me- hurt us like this Riko!” 

Jean watches Riko’s mouth open to argue, but Nathaniel isn’t having it. Jean is thankful for that, because after watching their partner become more and more manic over the last few weeks have been painful. He felt like Riko had completely forgotten that they were dreading him and Kevin leaving them for an entire year, too. That hurt. So fucking much and they had been letting Riko get away with it, but it looks like this was just the last straw for their tiny protector.

“Shut up! Did you forget that we’d be here, counting the fucking days to graduation? Did you not think about how much we’re going to miss you? We’ve been best friends for over a decade, at each other’s side every fucking day, but we didn’t complain that it was about to change because we know how hard it’ll be for you.” Jean shuffles forward as Nathaniel’s voice cracks and looks down at Riko’s wide-eyed stare, feeling Nathaniel shaking when he presses against his back, his nails digging into his forearm when he wraps his arms around him. 

“What Nate is saying, mon corbeau, is that we would have appreciated a little compassion towards not only your boyfriends but two of your oldest friends.”

Riko has the sense to appear guilty and looks down, only for him to pale suddenly and cover his mouth, gagging. He manages to scramble for the toilet bowl next to the tub to purge the liquor he downed earlier, when Nathaniel grabs the back of his jersey to haul him to it. Jean sighs and shifts gears, looking after their ‘fearless leader’. While Nathaniel keeps Riko from hurting himself, Jean gets him some water to wash the taste out of his mouth and a towel to dry him off. Since Jean and Nathaniel are used to cleaning up after Riko, that they get him cleaned up and curled up in their bed inside twenty minutes. 

Jean practically collapses onto the bed and heaves a heavy sigh, staring at Riko pick at a loose thread on their comforter. He’s finally come down enough to hear them and hopefully he and Nathaniel can get him to properly listen, so he waits until Nathaniel climbs into bed, spooning against Riko’s back to pull both of them over to him. With Riko sandwiched between them, Riko’s face in his chest and Nathaniel’s fingers carding through his damp black hair, Jean feels like they are more ‘normal’ than they have been in months.

“Riko,” Jean whispers, waiting for him to lift his brown eyes to his. “We’ll still be able to talk every day, even if for only a few minutes and we’ll see each other every couple of months.”

“As if my uncle would allow that,” Riko mumbles.

“If you recall, kitten, I’m rather convincing,” Nathaniel reminds him, tugging his hair.

“And with our hellish schedule and you settling in with the Barons, time will fly by and we’ll be back together again before we realize,” Jean adds.

“We’ll still be apart and you two will be together. Without me.”

Jean frowns and tries to mold the three of them together, glancing at Nathaniel. 

“And you’ll have Kevin, your brother, who will be without Andrew.” Nathaniel’s words trigger a full body flinch from Riko, Nathaniel shushing him gently. “We’ve always looked after each other, and you and Kevin didn’t have me around for the first ten years, remember?”

“Everything is going to change.”

“Of course it is,” Jean scoffs and kisses Riko’s forehead when he scowls at him. “Think of it this way, you and Kevin get to scout ahead and make names for yourselves with the Barons and then Andrew, Nate and I will need you to show us the ropes.”

“In the real world,” Nathaniel adds. “You can be free of this hellhole.”

“And we’re right behind you.”

Riko chews on his bottom lip, his body falling limp between them and Jean smiles weakly, nuzzling him gently. “Just go spend some time with Kev, have your brother all to yourself before Andrew occupies all of his free time again, alright?”

“We’ll have the best reunion sex, too,” Nathaniel teases and laughs at Riko’s embarrassed squeak.

“You’re such an idiot, Nate!” Riko squirms, swatting at him. 

Jean just watches them pathetically swat at each other like the children they are with a fond smile, propping his head up with his hand. Riko, still a bit drunk, gives up when Nathaniel restrains his hand and whines pathetically, turning red as he’s koala hugged and his cheek kissed. Jean is able to wrap himself around the both of them and murmur reassurances in French, Riko melting into their hold, listening to him talk. It’ll take more panicked moments and countless conversations, but Jean knows they’ll make it through this.

[pixieungerstories]

Housemates 7

Final 24 hours of the sticker promotion on Patreon.  Even if you have missed it, I still have a lot of good content over there.  Like the pictures for this chapter.

Dren didn’t really care who they got as long as they kept him fed and kept the house clean enough that dirt wouldn’t stick to his feet as he walked through. His job title might be occupational therapist but he spent a significant part of the day with people using him as a stim toy and he came home all touched out and needing quiet time to decompress.

Vinny could cook and somehow managed to get the guys to clean up after themselves. That was good enough for him.

Today, he was a little late. Someone had ground crackers into his surface and there was no way he was going home without showering first. He was surprised when he got home and found an extra seat at the table. He was not up to guests. He decided to ignore it as he hung up his clothes at the front hall closet.

Vinny bounced over looking a little stressed and slightly manic. “Hi! I’m so glad you are home! Your nephew got here early and the poor little guy is really shy. But I set him a place at the table and we are all ready to go!”

Dren stared at her. Kogan stared at her. Derick looked appalled.

“What?”

“I don’t have a nephew,” Dren said slowly.

Vinny frowned, “But Kevin said…” she trailed off as her ears caught up to what she said. Then she pointed at the big glass bowl on the table. “That isn’t your nephew?”

Dren shook his head. Derick cleared his throat. “That’s a bowl of orange jello.”

Vinny narrowed her eyes, then moving faster than Dren would have guessed, she bent down, scooped up a pair of shoes and threw them one after the other hard enough to scuff Kevin. “You ASSHOLE!” she screamed. They were all trying not to laugh but it wasn’t really working.

Vinny looked over at them and just looked so embarrassed. She had blushed bright red, her eyes were shiny with tears and she just mumbled something about dinner being on the table and they could start without her.

Then she turned and ran up the stairs.

Dren closed his eyes. He turned to the dining room. “Kevin? How are you going to make this up to her?”

Kevin was currently a trunk and he just shrugged his handles, “It was just a joke.”

Dren scrubbed his face with his hands. He was not in the mood to deal with this. “Yeah. That you made at her expense.”

Kevin just muttered, “It was funny. Can’t she take a joke?”

Dren turned and walked up the stairs while Derick explained that it would also just be a joke if she put pink dye in his wood oil, but that he would likely be as impressed with that as she was with this.

He got up to the third floor and looked for something to knock on her door with. His hands were too squishy just now to manage to make much noise. In the end he just said, “Knock, knock. Can I come in?”

“Yeah, sure.”

She was sitting in the corner with her fists clenched.

“Kevin is an asshole and I’m sorry he did that to you.”

Vinny shook her head and wiped her eyes. “I feel like an idiot.”

Dren shrugged, “You just haven’t met many-”

“NO! Not even that! I didn’t believe him at first, but he was so sincere and I thought that since I had been helping him with his shell, that maybe we were friends now. But after that, I feel like he was just using me and I wonder if he has just been exploiting me this whole time.”

Dren felt sick. “Wow. Um, shell care is something that mimics need or they end up with chronic pain. I didn’t know you were helping him with that. That makes tonight …really messed up. He’s trying to run you off so that you won’t help him.”

Vinny gritted her teeth.

Dren continued, “It’s up to you what you want to do about this, but it would help the rest of us if you told him how you feel betrayed and that he abused your trust. Otherwise he is just going to complain that you overreacted.”

Vinny nodded and stormed down the stairs. Even from the third floor, he could hear her shouting.

“Have you ever not lied to me? If you dicked me around about this - how can I believe anything you say? That has to be ten boxes of jello! You can go out and get fucking jello but not shell goop? I am such an idiot! I believed that whole bullshit story!” And her she said the thing that made Dren pay attention. “I thought you were actually trusting me, so I trusted you back. But that wasn’t it, was it? Was it all some sick scheme to make me touch you?”

That was interesting. She had made it what it was, a trust issue. If she had said she thought she was helping or that she was taking care of him, then she would be speaking from a position of power in the relationship. But as the person who was conned, the fault was clearly Kevin’s.

Which it was.  But Kevin wouldn’t have seen it that way. He would see it as her holding power over him and him taking that back.

“Do you have any idea how used and betrayed I feel right now? Does that even matter to you?”

There was a long moment of silence.

“Well? Say something!”

Still nothing. “Fine!” Then the door slammed.

Dren carefully closed the door to Vinny’s room and headed down to eat dinner. There was no sign of the girl. The slow cooker full of beef stew and the fresh buttermilk biscuits were delicious. The crew ate in silence.

——

Dren was sitting in his room while the others were busy out of the house when Vinny came home. He stopped her on her way up the stairs. “Supper was lovely, did you get something to eat?”

She shook her head, “I seem to have lost my appetite.”

Dren considered this. “You look like you need to hit something.”

“Maybe,” she admitted. “The angry walk around the neighbourhood didn’t help.”

Dren held out his arms. “It’s ok, you won’t hurt me.”

Vinny looked confused then upset. “I’m not going to hit you!”

“It’s really ok. It is basically my job.”

She just looked confused.

“I help people find tools to make their environments safer for them. But they are often angry and hitting me doesn’t actually hurt me, so-”

Vinny frowned, “That doesn’t sound right. Gelatinous can feel pain.”

Dren looked away, “Yeah, but it doesn’t do any lasting damage.”

“Wow. That is horrible.”

He shook his head. “It really isn’t. I get the most frustrated violent kids and I am able to find them tools to cope. It is very rewarding.” She gave him a look. “And only sometimes painful,” he added.  He waved her in and offered her the other chair. “Do you know what you are going to do about Kevin?”

“Besides not trusting him again? No. I’m pissed but I’m not going to quit over it. But… look, for the first three or four weeks I was here, he didn’t say a single word to me. I am fine going back to that.”

Dren nodded slowly. Kevin’s door was open, so Dren knew he was listening. “What if he apologized?”

Vinny shrugged, “Do you really think he will?”

Dren considered this. “I don’t actually know. I’m not sure what he said about shell care, but he really was trusting you to let touch him like that.”

Vinny chewed her lip, “That’s what is currently worrying me. I thought it was just like… I don’t know, rubbing someone’s shoulders. Now I’m afraid it is some sex thing.”

Dren considered this. “I don’t think so. I come home from work all touched out. But no one touches Kevin. I think he’s starved for attention.”

Vinny looked thoughtful, but when she spoke it wasn’t what he was expecting. “So what do you do when you are all touched out?”

Dren laughed. “I come up here and melt. That’s the point of the bathtub. I can just relax.” Then he snorted, “Or I play with the stim gels myself and the guy tease me it’s porn. It isn’t,” he hastened to add. “It is different having people poke and prod me than having me touch someone else. But unless I want to moonlight as a massage therapist, there isn’t really away to get physical contact without the person touching you back.”

Vinny snorted, “Yeah, well anytime you want to practice those massage skills, just let me know. This place is definitely making me tense.” She reached over and rubbed the crook of her neck.

Dren snorted. “Come here. Sit on the floor and I’ll do that.” She wasn’t kidding, her neck, shoulders and back were a mess of knots.

Vinny gave a little moan, “I feel like I am taking advantage of you.”

Dren snorted, “Stim toys don’t hold up their end of the conversation.”

“I’m not sure I do a much better job. Hey, if you want to touch someone without being touched, why don’t you take care of Kevin’s shell?”

Dren snorted, “Once I get lotion on myself, I can’t get it off. It doesn’t soak in like it does on wood or skin. Anything I absorb, I digest.”

Vinny nodded, “Another food safety issue.”

“Pretty much. That’s one of the things I have in common with Kevin. Along with, we can both change shape and we are both less humanoid than the others.”

“I don’t know, you look pretty human to me.”

Dren shook his head again, “Only when I concentrate.”

“Dren? Thanks for listening to me.”

“Any time, Vinny. But you should really go get something to eat, then let Derick take over this job.”

He waited for her to go, then he closed the door, climbed into the tub and just let go. He sloshed into a puddle and lay there for a moment before falling asleep.