#chicago med fanfiction

[bellarkeselection]

Could you do a will halstead x reader where they’re engaged and she’s a detective in intelligence, she’s been having stomach pains for about a week but put it down to cramps or stress whenever someone asked especially when Will asked but then at work she collapses and when they take her to med they find out the pain was appendicitis and Will’s like why didn’t you say something before

Didn’t Want You to Worry

@annieradcliff

“Y/n, are you sure you're okay in there?” My fiancé Will asked on the other side of the door. We had both gotten dressed and ready for work, me as an intelligence detective and he an ED doc. Unfortunately I felt harsh pain hit me so I went and sat down in the bathroom waiting until they went away.

I assumed it had to be cramps or something like that. Except I didn't think my period was supposed to come for another two weeks. “I'll be fine, Will. It's just some cramps is all. If you need to go to work that's fine.”

“Okay. You know I can stay home if you want to and take care of you if you're not feeling good.” He explained through the other side of the door.

Pushing myself up off the ground I felt them disappear allowing me to open the door and give him a half smile. “Seriously it's nothing. My period is probably coming earlier or it's just stress from the long case we've been working on.”

“Okay just call me if it's gets any worse.” He leans forward planting a kiss on my forehead before he left our apartment.

Making my way to work I was simply sitting down at my desk moving through fingers files on the computer till another wave of pain shot through my body. “Ah! Son of a bitch.” I winced gripping the wood of my desk underneath my fingernails.

Voiets office door opened and Will's brother Jay came out coming over to talk to me. “It's crazy to think you're going to be Mt sister in law in a few more weeks. Hey are you alright?”

“Just some pain stomach pain today - are you bringing Hayley to the wedding?”

Jay sat down on the edge of my desk scanning his eyes over me. “Do you want me to get you some advil?”

“No, I can get it myself. I have some in my locker. I'll be right back.” Standing up from my desk chair I had managed to walk into the hallway before my eyes grew heavier and my body fell forward where I collapsed into the nearest door.

I could hear Jay holler my name, coming around the corner to see what had happened. “Y/n! Oh geez. Voiet call an ambulance.”

“Jay - I'm - okay.” I croaked out barely able to keep my eyes open.

He brushed hair out of my face seeing I was struggling to stay awake. “Just hang on, Y/n. We're gonna get you to Med.” After that I must have blacked out because the next thing I knew I was waking up in the ED, laying on one of their hospital beds.

I began looking around the room noticing that there was an iv in my left hand and the screens were popping up with all different kinds of numbers clearly reading my vitals. “Where is she. Where is she, Msggie!” I recognized Will’s voice coming down the hallway.

“She’s in here.” Maggie drew open the curtain to my room.

Will bolted inside the room rushing to my bedside. “Y/n! Oh my god I knew something was wrong this morning. Why were you trying to act like it wasn’t?” His eyes scanning over mine almost a mile a minute.

I shake my head wishing he wouldn’t worry. “Will, I just got light headed. I'm probably dehydrated. Just give me some liquids and I'll be on my way.”

“Y/n, Jay told me you collapsed st work. That isn’t something minor.” Will spat me with worry in his voice.

I huffed crossing my arms over my chest seeing the curtain move again and Dr. Manning enter the room with an iPad in her hands. “Hi Y/n, how are you feeling?”

“I'd feel a lot better it I was out of - he-ah!” I gasped holding my stomach trying to curl myself into a ball on the bed.

Will rubbed my lower back keeping his other hand on my shoulder eyeing his friend. “Nat, what's wrong with her?”

“I wish I could say it was something minor but it’s not. You are actually going to need surgery. You have something wrong with your appendix. That’s why you’ve been feeling so much pain for the past couple of weeks.”

Will sent her a look asking. “Can you give us a minute, Nat. Y/n, why didn’t you tell me sooner and just have been lying about it.”

“I didn’t want to worry you. You already have enough on your plate with getting the wedding venu and everything else. I didn’t want to add onto the stress when I really believed it was my period cramps or stress myself, at least until this morning.”

Will closed the gap between us, cupping my face in his hands kissing me deeply. “I’m gonna be your husband, babe. You don’t have to keep things from me. I’m always going to be here for you.”

“Thank you, Will. I - I really appreciate you saying that to me,” I sniffed through happy tears relieved that he would be for me no matter what came our way. Our jobs in day to day life was hard enough, but we’d get through everything together. “I love you, Will Halstead.”

He smiled down at me, kissing my forehead sweetly. “I love you too, soon to be Mrs. Halstead.” I must have gotten pretty lucky to end up calling him my husband for the rest of my life.

[callsign-dexter]

Big Brother to the Rescue

Summary: You, Y/N Rhodes, get really sick during the night and have to be taken to the hospital. You're dad is not around and Claire is out of town so you turn to the only person you trust, your big brother, Connor Rhodes.

Pairings: Connor Rhodes x Sister!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, cussing, inaccurate medical talk, fever, vomit, hospitals

Masterlist

You loved your brother, Connor Rhodes, to death and he loved you the same, maybe even more. You love your sister, Claire Rhodes, too but not as much as you loved Connor. They practically raised you. Your living situation was not good. Your father, Cornelius Rhodes, was a massive jerk and your mother passed away when you were young. You looked up to Clarie as a mother figure and Connor as a father figure. Connor was only 16 when you were born and he instantly fell in love with you and was proud to be the big brother and jumped at every chance to help out with you. He was the best big brother you could ask for. Clarie was the best sister you could ask for too but it wasn't a bond like you and Connor had. 

Growing up was not the most pleasant and it turned worse when your mother passed. When Connor turned 18, he tried so hard to get custody over you but it was quickly shot down even though he had a steady income and home but your dad was so powerful that he made it not happen. It also didn't help that Connor was going to medical school and wasn't home a lot but it could've worked, you still visited him often and had a lot of sleepovers with him plus it was a place for you to escape from your dad.  When your guys’ dad started to criticize him for his medical school he had enough and moved to a different state but that didn't stop you from contacting him all the time and taking trips, when you were allowed, down to see him in Guadalajara, Mexico. It broke your heart that he moved but your bond never weakened and when he spent his residency in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, you weren't allowed to visit him but video calling was a daily routine. He hated that he couldn't bring you with him but he didn't have custody and it would be too much hassle to get you over to Saudi Arabia whereas Mexico was a little easier.  

—------

When Connor finally came back to Chicago, you were 12, you were ecstatic you finally had your father figure back. You caught him up on everything and while he was away. Claire resented him for leaving but she could never be mad at you. She would do everything to protect you, if you had girl questions or boy problems you were going to her. Your dad couldn't give a shit about you, sure he fed you and gave you a roof over your head but he didn't want you and he could care less about you. So, when Connor came back and started working at Gaffney Chicago Medical Center for his fellowship for trauma surgery fellowship everything went back to normal. Your daily meetups, sleepovers, and going to him for problems and medical issues started right back up like he never left. He still tried to get custody but it failed every time but he wasn't going to stop fighting for you, they wouldn't let him have you even if you said you wanted to live with him.

—------

When you were 13 you had gotten really sick like hospital sick. It was a night that Connor wasn't working and you were just in agony. Claire had moved out and your father was at a charity thing leaving you home alone. It started in the middle of the night waking you up from a dead sleep. You desperately tried to call your dad but it just went to voicemail so you tried one more time and he answered 

“Dad, I don't feel good.” You told him. 

“What's wrong?” He asked and this gave a you some hope. 

“My stomach really hurts. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I feel hot.” You said

“Suck it up. There is medicine in the cabinet downstairs.” He said and hung up and you let out a sob. 

You pulled yourself off your bed and dragged yourself to the steps and took painful steps down the steps. You sobbed the entire time. You finally got to the kitchen and opened the cabinet and grabbed the painkillers and you took them. Almost immediately as it touched your stomach you were throwing up everywhere. You were so weak. So weak that you just ended up collapsing onto the kitchen floor just barely missing your throw up. Thankfully you had grabbed your phone and slowly and shakingly grabbed your phone, your vision blurring. You unlocked it and pulled up your contacts and hit one you knew all too well. It rang not even once and Connor's voice came through.

“Y/N/N? It's 3 AM. What's wrong?” He asked in a voice full of concern.

“I... I... I don't feel good.” You said your teeth were chattering because despite your temperature, you were freezing.

“Where's dad? Did you tell him?” He asked and you could hear him rustling around.

“He's at a charity event. I... I called him and told him but he told me to suck it up and take the medicine in the cabinet in the kitchen. I'm in so much pain, Con. I took the medicine and immediately threw it up.” You told him the feeling of the cold floor was nice.

“Bastard.” He murmured “I'm on my way. You stay put.” He said. 

“I'm hot but so cold.” You said letting your eyes droop. “So tired.” You added.

“Hey, stay on the phone with me. Why didn't you call Clarie? She lives closer.” He asked

“She's gone out of town.” You said and you could hear him get into his car and the engine start. 

“Son of a bitch.” He said and started to drive as fast as he could while still obeying the speed limit. He kept talking to you but you stopped responding and that scared him. He hung up when he arrived at your guys’ family home. He was quick to jump out and run to the front door and grab the key under the mat and opened it.

The house was dark but he knew where you were at. “Y/N/N. It's me.” He yelled out but got no response. He walked into the kitchen and saw you lying there. “Fuck.” He murmured to himself and ran over to you missing your vomit. He kneeled down and touched your forehead and retracted his hand “Damn, Sis. You're burning up.” He said. He walked over to the drawer and grabbed the thermometer and thankfully it was on that stuck in your ear. He put it there and waited for it to beep and when it did, he cursed and read it aloud “104.3. Fuck I need to take you in.” He said and started to try and wake you up. “Y/N/N, Sweetheart. It's me. Your brother. Can you open your eyes?” He asked as he pressed two fingers to your neck. “Damn, pulse is way too fast.” He said and him talking must've started to rouse you.

“Con?” You asked and he smiled softly. 

“Yea it's me. Can you open your eyes?” He asked and you cracked them open until they were open. “There we go.” He said.

“Tired.” You said and started to close again.

“No. Hey, keep those eyes open. I'm going to take you to Med, Ok?” He asked and you nodded.

“Ok. Go see Will?” You asked and he smiled. Will has become a favorite of yours and he doesn’t know why.

“Yes. We'll go see Will.” He said as he started to stand you and your legs shook like a newborn foal's standing for the first time. “Can you walk?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” You said in barely just a whisper and you tried to take a few steps and all but collapsed into his arms.

“That is a no.” He said and then he was scooping you up into his arms and walking out of the house and to his car. He got you in the passenger side seat and then him in the driver’s seat and he was off heading to Med as fast as he could. He continued to talk to you to keep you awake and before you knew it you were pulling into Med. He parked and turned the car off and got out heading to the passenger side seat. He quickly scooped you up and shut the door hastily. He rushed you into ED where he saw Maggie. “Mags.” He said and she looked up at him and quickly rushed you into a bay. “She wants Will.” He said and she nodded. She walked out of the room and went to get Will not even a second later he was rushing into the room.

“Connor? What is going on?” He asked

“She called me saying she didn’t feel good and when I asked her what was wrong, she told me she was hot but so cold. She said she took some medicine but once she took it, she immediately threw up. When I got there, she was passed out on the floor next to a pile of vomit. She was burning up to the touch, she had and still has according to the monitor a temperature of 104.3 and her pulse was fast, way too fast.” He explained as they could see from the monitor “She also said she was really tired. I woke her up and had her stand and she shook like a life, she tried to walk but she collapsed into my arms and then I quickly got her in the car and rushed her here.” He finished.

“Why isn’t Cornelius here instead?” Will asked

“He is at a charity event. Left her by herself. She called him and told him she was sick but he told her to suck it up and take the medicine in the cabinet.

“Bastard.” Will said

“That’s what I said.” Connor said

“I want to get an ultrasound done on her stomach to rule out appendicitis.” Will said and Connor nodded.

“I agree.” Connor said and soon Will was calling in the ultrasound machine and he got to work with the help of a nurse. “So, it is not appendicitis.” Connor confirmed and Will nodded.

“I want to run some tests on her. Swab for flu and viral infection and take some blood as well.” He said and Connor nodded. Throughout this entire process you had been out and now that you were in the hospital you were allowed to sleep. “I want to get some fluids running to help with her temperature and get some IV children’s Tylenol on board as well.” He said and again Connor nodded. As the nurse was preparing everything you started to wake up. 

“Will?” You asked and he smiled and looked over at you.

“Hey, Sweetheart. We’re going to get you feeling better, ok? I just want to run some tests.” He said and you nodded.

“Ok.” You said and then you saw the needles “Con, no.” You said and shook your head but that was a mistake because it hurt your head.

“Hey it is ok. I’ll be here the entire time. Ok?” He asked and you nodded and then he nodded at the nurse and Will and everyone got to work. Soon blood was taken, fluids were hooked up, and swabs were taken.

“Get those tests going ASAP.” Will told the nurse and she nodded and they were out of the room. Will had to tend to some other patients and you both understood and they let you go back to sleep. With the fluids going your pulse was starting to come up and it was steady since you were sleeping and your temperature was starting to come down and the IV children’s Tylenol helped with that. 20 minutes later Will was coming in.

“So?” Connor asked

“She has a really bad viral infection and she has a really bad case of the flu. I want to get her admitted and keep her here for a few days.” Will said

“This had to be going on for a few days.” Connor said

“Did she not tell you anything about it?” He asked and Connor shook his head.

“No, she didn’t look sick when we met up a couple of days ago.” Connor said, sighing and Will nodded.

“Let’s get her moved.” Will said and so they did.

The next time you were waking up, 3 hrs. after coming into ED, you were waking up in a room. “Connor?” You asked sluggishly.

“Hey, Sis. I’m here.” He said coming over to you as he entered the room with a cup of coffee. 

“Where am I?” You asked and he smiled and came over and sat next to you.

“In the hospital. You have a really bad case of the flu and a bad viral infection. Will is taking care of you and has you on antibiotics.” He said and you nodded and you were struggling to keep your eyes open. 

“Dad?” You asked

“Not here.” He said and to be honest he didn’t want him here. He hadn’t even thought about him since you arrived here and boy was, he going to have some words for him. “Go back to sleep.” He said and you nodded and were out like a light and he could tell because your heart rate slowed. Now it was time to have some words for his father. He made sure you were asleep before pulling his phone out and stepping out of the room where he saw Will. “Hey, I need to make a phone call. Mind staying with her?” He asked and Will smiled.

“Of course.” He said and walked into the room with you and Connor walked into the doctor’s lounge and dialed his dad’s phone number and he rang 5 times before he answered. Cornelius didn’t even have time to say hi before Connor started to rail into him.

“Do you know where your daughter is?” Connor asked

“No, but she has made a mess in the kitchen she needs to clean up.” Cornelius said and Connor saw red.

“She’s in the hospital because she has a bad case of the flu and a bad case of a viral infection.” Connor said venom in his words.

“Well, she needs to get home now and clean the mess up.” He said 

“She will be doing no such thing. Not anymore.” Connor said

“And why is that?” Cornelius asked

“Because she is coming to live with me. I was the one that found her when she called and told me what was going on while you were too busy at a charity event. She told you she was sick and you told her to suck it up. You told her to take the medicine in the cabinet and she instantly threw it up. She was running a 104.3 fever when I found her and she couldn’t even stand or walk. She was so weak. I’m filing for sole custody of her and you’re going to sign it because you are not fit to be a father let alone a guardian. You will not be coming to see her. You will not see her at all unless she is with me or have contact with her. That is final.” He went off on him. Cornelius was silent by the time he was done.

“Fine. Keep the bitch. I don’t care. I’ll have her stuff packed and waiting for you to pick it up.” He said and then hung up the phone. Connor was relieved now he needed to start the paperwork. He let out a sigh of relief.  

Connor walked back to your room and saw you wake and sitting up talking to Will. You looked over and saw him. You still looked tired but you were awake. “Where were you?” You asked.

“I was on the phone with dad.” He said

“I’ll leave the two of you alone. I will be back in a few to check on you.” Will said, directing that last sentence to you. You and Connor nodded and Will left. 

“Is he coming?” You asked and he shook his head.

“No.” He said and you looked relieved “I have good news though.” He said and you perked up.

“Oh?” You asked curious and he nodded.

“From now on you will be coming to live with me and you won’t see him or talk to him.” Connor said and your face brightened.

“Really?” You asked and he nodded.

“Really.” He said and you squealed in excitement. Your wish was finally coming true. You were going to be living with your big brother. You then started to go on about all the things you two could do together and he smiled and nodded. You suddenly stopped talking and looked at him and smiled. “What?” He asked.

“I love you, Con.” You said and he smiled.

“I love you too, Y/N/N. Now and forever.” He said and he leaned over to kiss your forehead.

“Now and forever.” You confirmed. Your wish did come true and you couldn’t be happier.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

@callsign-revenge

[whump-imagines]

Lunch Date Gone Wrong

Connor x reader

~1000 words

She walked into the ED and greeted Leah at the admit desk. “Hey. I just wanted to surprise Connor for lunch. Can I go wait in the lounge?”

“Of course. I think he went upstairs but you can check with Maggie.”

“Thanks.” She walked through the sliding doors from the waiting room and stopped at the nurses station. Maggie saw her and walked out from the desk to give her a hug. “Hi, Mags.”

“Hi, sweetie,” Maggie said. “I didn't know you were coming today.”

She laughed. “Neither does Connor. I needed to get out of the house. Figured I'd surprise him for lunch.”

“He just ran upstairs to check on a patient but he should be back pretty soon,” Maggie explained. “You can go wait in the lounge if you want. Do you want me to page him?”

She shook her head. “No, I don't want to bother him. I can wait.” She went into the lounge and made herself comfortable on the couch.

Twenty minutes later, she saw Connor by the nurses station. He was looking at a computer and Maggie was nowhere in sight so she assumed he didn't know she was there.

She smiled and stood from the couch. She swayed slightly, dismissing it as having stood too fast. Walking out of the lounge, she made her way to where he was.

He glanced up and locked eyes with her. He smiled. “Hey! What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to get some fresh air and different scenery. Thought I'd see if you had time for some lunch.”

He pulled her into a hug and kissed her as he pulled away. “I always have time for you. Did you want to go grab something quick or eat here?”

She shrugged, swaying on her feet once again as dizziness made her world spin.

Connor frowned, grasping her shoulders and stepping back half a step to look at her. “You okay?”

She started to nod. “Uh, yeah. I think.”

“You sure?” He moved his hand to caress her cheek.

“Honestly?” she asked. “I was starving when I left the house. Now, I'm a little nauseous and dizzy.”

He pulled her behind the desk to a chair. “Okay, let’s sit down.”

She let him guide her into the chair. She took a deep breath and shook her head trying to clear the feeling, but it only made it worse. “Whoa,” she whispered, closing her eyes tight.

“Just breathe. I'm right here,” Connor reassured. He took her hand in his and she felt him press his fingers into the pulse point at her wrist. Her eyes were still closed so she didn't see the look of surprise on his face. “Hey, Maggie,” he said quietly. “What's open?”

“Uh, treatment three and four are. Why?” She asked.

Connor glanced at Y/N. “I need an EKG. Her heart rate is way too high.”

“Okay. I'll meet you in three,” Maggie said.

“Wait,” said Y/N. Her breathing quickened with her anxiety. “Why? What's wrong with me?”

“Shh, shh,” Connor soothed. “It's okay. Just breathe. We will figure it out. Can you stand up for me?”

She allowed him to pull her up. As soon as she was fully upright she swayed before her knees buckled. Connor caught her before she could hit the ground and lifted her heading straight to treatment three.

“Y/N! Can you hear me, sweetheart?” He asked as he set her on the bed. He ran his knuckle firmly over her sternum and she moaned but didn't wake. “Open your eyes for me.”

Will joined them as Maggie finished hooking up the cardiac monitor. She wrapped a BP cuff around her bicep. “Need a hand in here?”

“Damn it,” Connor cursed as he saw the monitor reading. “She's in SVT.”

“Connor,” Will warned. “You shouldn't be treating her.”

“I'm fine,” Connor argued. “I'm going to try a carotid massage.”

Will stepped closer. “Maggie, CBC, BMP, lytes, cardiac enzymes, and a chest x-ray. Please.”

“On it.” She quickly ordered the x-ray before drawing blood for the lab tests.

“No change.” Will pointed out as Connor stared at the monitor as if trying to Will the rhythm to change. “We need to push adenosine.”

“Just one more second,” Connor said. About thirty seconds later, his head dropped to his chest as he took a step back. “Uh, okay. Will?”

Will squeezed Connor’s shoulder before returning his focus to Y/N. “I got her, buddy.” He then turned to April who had joined them in the room. “Six milligrams of adenosine.”

Seconds later, April announced, “Pushing.” Almost instantly the monitor droned the monotone asystole sound before the fast beep resumed.

Connor’s hand came up to cover his mouth for a moment. His worry was really starting to shine through.

“Okay,” Will started. “Let's try another twelve milligrams of adenosine.”

Once again, April announced when she pushed the meds just before the monotone sound followed by the rapid beeping.

“Damn it,” Connor cursed.

“It's fine. I got her,” Will reassured. “We knew she was stubborn, right? Give me the paddles and charge to 75.”

Maggie handed them to him as April placed the orange gel pads on her chest. Will placed the paddles as Maggie stated, “Charged.”

“Clear!” Will verified everyone's hands were off before pressing the button. Her head shifted with the small jolt. Suddenly, the fast paced beeping slowed. “Back in sinus. Rate 86.”

Connor breathes a heavy sigh of relief. “Oh, thank god.”

A few minutes later, she moaned. “C–Connor?”

He was sitting beside her holding her hand as Will performed an echocardiogram.

Squeezing her hand, he spoke, “I'm right here, honey. Will is here too.”

She pried her eyes open slowly, shying away from the bright lights. “What happened?”

Connor ran his free hand over her head, pushing hair from her face. “You had a bit of an arrhythmia. We had to give you some meds and shock your heart to get it back to normal rhythm. Will is just running some tests now so we can figure out why it happened.”

She blinked slowly. “I'm so tired.”

“Well your heart just ran a mini marathon,” Will said.

“You can go ahead and rest,” Connor suggested. “You're going to be here at least overnight.”

She let her eyes flutter closed. “Mmkay.”

Connor continued to run his hand gently over her head until she was sound asleep. He knew it would be a long few weeks of tests and possible medications but for now, he was just glad she was okay.

[countrymusiclover]

Dr. Redheaded Neighbor

Mallory and Will become neighbors in the same building becoming close friends before she joins the Army and is off. Years later when she comes back from deployment they reunite but will they remain friends or will all that time spent apart create something more between them.

1 - Being the New Neighbor

2 - Enjoyable Reunion

3 - War Follows You

4 - Code Red

5 - Code Red pt 2

6 - Will's Offer

7 - Not So Peaceful Afternoon

8 - One Friend to Another

9 - Life Changing Moments

10 - A Special First Date

11 - Must Answer the Call

12 - Telling Will

13 - Greatest Date Ever

14 - Getting some big news

15 - Message from Little Brother

???

Comments really appreciated ❤️

Tag list - send an ask to be added @annieradcliff @watermeezer @zaidatorcuatomorgado @kmc1989 @tallrock35 @melvia-ito @dreamgemini09 @anonymousmuffinbear

[winchesterszvonecek]

could you do a connor piece with these two prompts? theyre not from the same list so i hope thats okay 🩷

"I'm not gonna let you cum no matter how much you want it."

+

“So, what's going on between you and [name] recently? You guys seem to have gotten close all of a sudden."

and its like the reader is a firefighter at 51 and close to kelly or casey / got closer to one of them and yeah :)

All Yours - [ Connor Rhodes ] 18+

Prompt: “So, what’s going on between you and [name] recently? You guys seem to have gotten close all of a sudden.” + “I’m not gonna let you cum no matter how much you want it.”

Word Count: 2550 i couldn’t stop myself

Warnings: female!reader, strong language, jealousy, possessiveness, smut - [ vaginal fingering, oral - fem!receiving, edging, dirty talk… so much dirty talk, unprotected sex ]

A/N: i was so nervous to post this cause it feels so goddamn filthy but i did it anyway so hopefully y’all enjoy it and i didn’t go way off the rails lmao

Masterlist | Connor Masterlist

You knew something was wrong the minute you got into the car and Connor hadn’t immediately kissed your cheek then asked you how your shift was. You could tell simply by the way he stayed silent the whole ride home, his hands gripping the steering wheel with such force that his knuckles had turned white and you were surprised they hadn’t broken through his skin.

It was unlike him to not ask you a hundred questions revolving around your day at work, and even more unlike him not to kiss you, so if you hadn’t been suspicious enough, then his stiff posture and lack of eye contact with you would have been evidence enough. And when he didn’t place his hand on your thigh each time you stopped at a red light, you knew you were in trouble, only you had no idea why.

You didn’t know what was bothering him, what you could have done to make him this way, and in all honesty you were scared to ask which is why you stayed as quiet as he did during the ride home. But the second you stepped foot into your shared apartment, where you’d just about managed to find the courage to ask him what was wrong, Connor beat you to it and he wasn’t at all subtle in hiding his obvious annoyance over what he’d seen when he came to pick you up.

“So, what’s going on between you and Casey recently? You guys seem to have gotten close all of a sudden.” Connor asked, his tone a little bitter as he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against the couch as you tilted your head a little, ignoring the anger that built inside him when you laughed softly.

“Me and Casey?” You shook your head, glancing briefly around the room before your eyes landed back on him. “Connor, I’ve told you this before, he’s my Lieutenant, that’s it. Nothing more” You added, scoffing a little at the insinuation he was so clearly making as you made your way to the bedroom, deciding you’d heard enough of what he had to say.

You’d had this conversation with him once before when he caught Casey hugging you in the hospital after a rough call and that hadn’t gone well so he could forgive you for not wanting to go down that road again.

“Oh really? Well it seems to me like he thinks differently… Especially if the way he looked at you when I picked you up said anything on the matter.” Connor said with a touch more anger as he followed you into the room, even the sight of the eighty-one shirt covering your torso enough to have his blood boil over the memory of how Casey had looked at you.

“How he looked at me?” You repeated, your tone matching his as you couldn’t believe he was making you go through this again. “Tell me Connor, how was he looking at me? Cause if it was anything less than with drool coming from his mouth then I don’t want to hear it.”

“He might as well have been drooling.” Connor scoffed, pulling his shirt over his head with such haste that he was surprised his head hadn’t come off with it. “The way he watched you… Practically fucking you with his eyes right in front of me.”

“For God sakes, Connor.” You muttered in frustration, pulling your own shirt off and tossing it in the hamper. All you wanted was a quiet morning after work, but it appeared as though your fiancée thought otherwise and little did you know… “How many times do I have to tell you? Casey does not want to fuck me. And even if he did…”

Unaware that Connor had been moving towards you, your words were cut off when you suddenly felt your chest hit hard against the wall, sending a tingle down your front which quickly made its way between your legs when you felt Connor push up against you, lifting your hands to pin them above your head, making you unable to see how he stared at you the very same way he’d accused Casey of.

“What? Would you let him fuck you?” He whispered, his voice so deep he was practically growling as he attached his lips to your neck, the pure heat coursing through your veins making you unable to reply.

You could feel his free hand snake around your waist, his fingertips trailing down your stomach before they delved beneath your trousers, ghosting over your already throbbing pussy and causing a soft moan to escape your lips as you leaned back against him, his hardened bulge pressing firmly against your ass.

“Would you let him pin you down in his office and fuck that tight little pussy of yours?” Connor whispered into your ear, his teeth digging gently into your lobe as he tugged on it, hearing the muttered swear words that left your lips in response. “Answer me baby… If he wanted to… Would you let your Lieutenant fuck you?”

“No.” You gasped softly at the coldness of his fingers as they pushed aside your panties, trailing themselves painfully slowly across your soaking slit as Connor made sure not to touch your clit as he wanted to hear you beg for it. “No I wouldn’t.”

“And why’s that?” Connor asked in intrigue as he always thought you had a little school girl crush on Casey before you met him. He pulled his hand from your panties and flipped you round, once again pinning your hands firmly above your head. The first thing he noticed about you was the lust that had blown wide in your pupils, your breathing heavy as you all but panted which only had him straining that much more against his pants.

“Because…” You breathed out, clenching your legs to try and feel some friction against the raving heat beneath them. “…you’re the only one I want to fuck me… The only one whose cock I want to feel inside me.”

“Hm, good answer.” Connor hummed in satisfaction, pressing his lips hard against you as you all but devoured each other. His hold on your hands faltered, allowing them to fall to your sides before you moved to unbuckled his belt, the only thing he allowed you to do before he took your hands in his, stilling your motions. “Not so fast… I think you deserve a little punishment beforehand, don’t you?”

“Punishment? For what?” You asked, almost finding yourself angry again as you thought you’d made it clear to him that you’d never dream of cheating on him with Casey. That was, until you saw the way he smirked, his eyes darkening as he imagined all the ways he could have you squirming beneath him and that’s when you knew you were done for.

“For being so goddamn hot that every guy who meets you wants to fuck you.” And with that, the words that had you smiling like crazy, Connor lifted you off your feet and threw you down onto the bed, towering over you as his hands roamed across your skin, feeling the hotness of it mix with that of his cold hands.

He gripped the cups of your bra, pulling it down to allow your breasts to spill over the edge, his mouth cupping one of them instantly whilst his hand went to the other, kneading it softly as he flicked and pinched at the hardened bud between his fingers, making you hum softly as your threaded your fingers through his hair.

You were already a soaking mess by the time he moved lower, his fingers hooking around the waistband of both your pants and your panties, which he pulled off you in one quick motion before he got to his knees, spreading you open to see the glistening sight that was your pussy.

“Look at you.” Connor teased, pacing soft kisses up your inner thigh, his stubble scratching you lightly as his arm slid across your stomach, holding you down to stop you from arching your back too high. “Absolutely dripping… And all for me.”

“Only you, baby.” You gasped, followed by a low moan as he slipped one finger inside you, which was enough for you to almost lose your train of thought. “Fuck… Only for you.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Connor chuckled, in a way that told you that you were more than likely about to have to beg for your life. “Now be a good girl and moan for me while I fuck my fingers into your pretty little pussy.”

You did what you were told as he slid a second finger into you, knuckle deep before he pulled back, thrusting them into you once again and keeping a steady rhythm. The noises they made were not at all quiet as you knew how wet you were, how absolutely soaking you got when he took control like this, but then again, neither were you.

Your moans echoed off the walls, probably reaching the neighbours which you’d normally be embarrassed about but right now you didn’t care. You were simply in heaven as he continued to finger fuck you, curling them slightly to hit that sweet spot inside you. It had barely been a minute before you already found yourself clenching tightly around his fingers, about to come harder than you’d ever done before.

That was, until Connor pulled them out, making you whine at the loss of contact and look down at him, just in time to see him suck the glisten of you off his fingers.

“Oh, did you think I was gonna let you give in so quickly?” He asked, moaning softly at the taste of you on his fingers as he licked them once again. “Baby, I’m not gonna let you come no matter how much you want it.”

The second the words left his lips he’d attached them to your pussy, sucking gently on your clit before his tongue worked its way downwards. Eating you out like you were his first meal in days which had you whimpering as you all but levitated off the bed, gripping the sheets for dear life as you’d never felt anything quite like how his tongue felt inside you.

Five times Connor brought you to the edge of your climax, allowing you to see briefly over the edge before he pulled you away, his mouth leaving you as you let out a stifled sob. You couldn’t take another second let alone another minute of him denying you what you wanted. You were desperate. So fucking desperate for him to make you come that you could feel your eyes stinging with tears, your lower abdomen tightening more than ever before as it slowly reached the brink of being painful.

“Connor please.” Your breath hitched as you spoke, your body shaking from the edging he was so thoroughly enjoying. “Please… I can’t… I can’t take it anymore, please let me come.”

“You want to come baby?” Connor said softly, rubbing a slow circle against your swollen clit, making you whimper quietly to yourself as your hips bucked involuntarily. “You want me to make you come?”

“Yes… Yes, please make me come.” You begged, propping yourself up on your shaky elbows to look at him. “Please… I want you to make me come so fucking bad, baby. Want you to make me come so hard I scream your name.”

“Tell me you’re mine.” Connor said seriously, unbuttoning his pants as he readied himself to make good on his promise. “Tell me you’re mine and I’ll fuck you so good you’ll scream my name loud enough that the whole city hears it.”

“I’m yours.” You said instantly, biting down hard on your lip as he pushed down his pants, freeing his already leaking and thick cock from beneath them. “I’m all yours. My heart. My pussy… All of it belongs to you.”

“Good girl.” Connor cooed, tracing his tip down your slick folds, pushing it in just a little as he smeared your arousal down the length of it. “Now get on your hands and knees.”

You moved quicker than before, barely settling yourself down on your knees before you felt him come up behind you, his erection brushing against your inner thigh as he settled himself nicely behind you, the bed the perfect height to allow him to stand which you knew meant he wasn’t going to be gentle at all. And right now, right now you wanted it rough.

“Give it to me, baby… Let me feel that thick cock in my tight little pussy.” You murmured, knowing that you talking dirty always riled him up, which it did as the second the words left your lips he’d pushed into, bottoming out in one quick motion and he was anything but slow as he began to pound mercilessly into you.

Your back arched, your chin pushed deep into the mattress as you bit down onto it, stifling your cries as your body trembled in pure pleasure, the slight pain of Connor’s roughness and lack of allowing you to adjust to his size only adding to the heat that pumped through your veins.

“Fuck… Yes baby, give it to me. Fucking give it to me. Yes.” You cried out, pushing your ass out further before you felt a sharp sting across it, Connor having slapped it before digging his fingers deep into the flesh of it, sure to leave bruises come the next morning.

“Taking it so good, baby.” Connor groaned, his hips moving furiously as he continued to slam into you, the sound of how wet your pussy was like music to his ears, as were your moans which he’d never heard quite as pleasure driven before. He could feel you clamping down around him, about to burst any second now as he gave you exactly what you wanted. “That’s it, sweetheart, come for me.”

As though on command, you clamped down fully, pure ecstasy flowing fast throughout your veins as you came harder than ever before, making good on your word of screaming his name as you couldn’t help but allow it to cross your lips. You couldn’t begin to describe this moment, your head was fuzzy, your eyes were clouded over in white as you felt your very spirit leave your body, and for a second you thought you’d ascended into heaven, that was until your name slipping from Connor’s lips as he came inside you pulled you back to reality.

“Fuck, Connor…” You exhaled, no air left in your burning lungs as he’d fucked it all out of you. “I think… I think… God, I don’t even know what to think.” Your body fell flat against the bed, your thighs sticking together from a mixture of yourself and Connor, whose release was slowly dripping out of you.

Connor chuckled, flipping your now limp body over so you lay on your back, making it easy for him to see your flushed face as he towered over you, gently brushing his thumb across your lips before he spoke.

“You know what I think… I think… You did so well in letting everyone in Chicago know that you're mine… And mine only.”

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[americaswritings]

When we fall | Part 3

Warnings (for all parts): Fluff, angst, description of injuries and blood, gun use, cursing, probably unaccurate policing/medicine

Summary: You moved to Chicago to start a new life. Working as a doctor alongside your brother Connor you make new friends and although you swore to yourself not to let any man in your life at least for a while, your promises fail when you lock eyes with a handsome stranger in a bar.

Words: 6k

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Doctor!Rhodes!reader

A/N: And here is the last part of the short series. The events are inspired by a chicago med ep. I really hope you enjoyed it :)

Part 1 | Part 2

“We’ll take care of you and your daughter.” You smiled at your patient reassuringly, noticing someone moving towards you in corner of your eye. Turning your head you saw a man with tousled hair standing at the threshold, his eyes almost hazy as his gaze skipped around the room.

“Where’s Leah?!”, he barked out, his eyes only focused on your patient. Your gaze flickered towards her, taking in the fear in her eyes and the gasp that left her lips. “Jake? How did you find us here?”, she whispered, oblivion dripping from her voice.

“Did you really think you could just leave and take our daughter with you? She’s my daughter too!” He took a threatening step closer, eyes narrowed. “Now, where is she?!”

Your patient’s breathing had quickened and a look at the heart monitor told you she was about to have a panic attack. “Sir, I need you to calm down and take a step back”, you said forcefully, drawing his attention on you. His eyes jumped to you, anger brimming in them.

“Like hell I will! I’m taking my wife and my kid home now!” Your eyes flickered towards the nurse, giving her a little nod to signal her to call the security service, before you met his again. “I can see you’re upset. But your wife and your daughter are sick. They need treatment and rest-”

“Shut up!” You flinched as he yelled at you, his loud voice alarming multiple people around you. “Everything okay in here?” Will appeared at the door, his eyes scanning the room until they landed at yours, staying there as he waited for an honest answer.

The man shook his head furiously, but he took a step back. You almost exhaled in relief. “I want to see my daughter! Now!”, he demanded, but before anyone could gave him an answer, he turned and ripped open the curtain to the next room.

You heard squeals, alarmed voices mixing with the sound of another curtain being ripped open. “Sir, I need you to leave now!” Will leaned forward to grab the man’s shoulder when suddenly he yanked out a gun, twisting around and pointing it right at Will’s chest.

A gasp escaped you as you watched Will stumble back, his hands raised. “Look man, we’re just trying to help, okay?” But the man, Jake, didn’t seem to hear any of it, his eyes filled with hatred and something that scared you even more; desperation and determination. A dangerous combination.

He wouldn’t leave until he got what he wanted.

“What’s going on here?” You heard Connor’s voice, saw him step out of a patient’s room and move towards the intruder. From his angle he couldn’t see the gun, couldn’t know the severity of the situation.

“Connor, no!” Your legs moved forward at the same time as the man turned around, the gun pointed at your brother. Everything seemed to happen so fast and in slow-motion at once as your body reacted purely on instinct, the fear for your brother carrying you forward.

You didn’t know if he meant to pull the trigger or if it was out of reflex, but you had no time to think about it as a shot rang out.

You would have screamed, but no sound left your mouth as the impact hit you, sending your body tumbling backwards until it hit the wall. Only moments before your feet had carried you forward, but now they suddenly couldn’t take your weight anymore, your body sinking to the ground.

Around you screams were erupting, but they sounded drowned out, as if you were underwater. Your name was being called, but it all seemed to blend into a haze.

You tried to peek at where you felt a sudden pressure in your body, shock mixing with confusion as you saw blood staining your clothes. Just seconds ago you had been standing in a patient’s room and now you were on the ground, your own blood pooling around your feet. It didn’t make sense.

From the periphery of your eye you saw people running. Some moved towards you, but most of them the opposite way. Away. They were running away.

And they were pushing, tripping, falling over each other. “Put down the gun!” You saw one of the security men approach, his own gun drawn at the attacker. Another shot cut through the atmosphere, but to your horror it was the security man that fell, blood splattering from a wound to his front.

“Everyone just back off!”

Jake’s sharp voice snapped you out of your shock and all at once reality hit you. Pain sank in, slowly at first and then in a stream of hot sensations. Tears formed in your eyes at the burning pain and you grit your teeth, trying to will it away, because you knew you needed to be aware of what happened next.

Lifting your head slightly you found the ER had mostly cleared out, only a few people remaining. Among them were Will and Connor, both of their bodies’ turned towards you in a way that suggested they had tried to get to you, their hands raised.

“Just let me get to my sister, okay? I’m a doctor and she needs help.” You stared at Connor, seeing the panic he tried to restrain as he appealed to the man reasonably. Jake’s eyes flickered towards you, hesitance written over his face.

“You didn’t want this to happen, do you?” Connor asked, his voice strained. “So let me make this better. Let me help.” He was pleading now and another wave of panic filled you as you realized he was only mere seconds away from doing something reckless.

For a moment you thought you were going to throw up from the sickness that cursed through your body, but you feared you wouldn’t even be able to move your body in the state you were in.

Jake let out a frustrated breath, gesturing towards you with his gun. “Okay. Okay!” Connor rushed over to you immediately, his concerned eyes meeting yours. “Are you okay? How do you feel? Can you tell me where you’ve been hit?”

You tried to follow his questions, your mind spinning. Instead of an answer you let out a groan as Connor found your wound, pressing down on it. “We need to stop the bleeding.”

Now that he was here by your side a weakness took over your body and you welcomed it. Welcomed the dark, because it felt easier to lean into it than fight it. But it never swallowed you. As much as you wished you could just pass out, the pain didn’t end, keeping you caged in your body.

You didn’t need to ask him how serious your condition was. The urgency in Connor’s movement alone was enough for you to confirm it was bad, the seeping hot pain a further indicator.

You saw Jake still waving his gun around, speaking in an animated tone with Will and Maggie. To your left someone had crouched down next to the security guard and you felt a flicker of relief when you saw it was Ethan.

A cough rose up your throat and your body shook, sending an ache through you. When you wiped your mouth you noticed your skin had turned red.

“No, no, no”, your brother whispered, his eyes frantic. “Connor”, you said, your voice a little hoarse. He paused for a moment, both of you locking eyes in a quiet exchange. “I’m scared”, you whispered, feeling a few tears escape your eyes.

Connor swallowed, his eyes filled with desperation. “I know”, he leaned closer, “But you will be okay. I will fix it, okay?.”

You nodded slowly, needing to cling to his words. To hold onto the reminder that you would be okay. That your life wasn’t over when you hadn’t even started fully living yet.

It didn’t make sense. You had woken up a few minutes before your alarm clock, had been in an oddly good mood as you had gotten ready for work and even your patients had been unusually patient and grateful. Today was a good day. Not a day that could turn into such a catastrophe in the blink of an eye.

This didn’t happen. Maybe in books or on tv. But not here, not to people like you.

“Hey!” Dr. Goodwin appeared in your vision, bending down to Connor and you. “What’s the status?” You hadn’t seen her before, but knowing she was here already gave you a sparkle of hope. As the hospital’s executive director it was her job to find solutions, even in the face of the worst possible events. She would get them out of here, somehow.

“She’s been shot in the abdomen. No exit wound so the bullet is still inside. I believe she’s bleeding internally.”

You saw a shadow cloud Dr. Goodwin’s as she looked at you and it was as if you could see the wheels in her head turning as she assessed the situation.

“What’s going on?”, you asked weakly, needing to know if the others were safe. “Mr. Whitman demands to take his wife and daughter and leave. I was on the phone with the Chicago police department. They told me he’s got a history of domestic abuse and violence. The wife filed a report on him and moved states to get him out of her life.”

“And he found her now.” You gulped, slowly piecing the pieces together. Dr. Goodwin nodded, graveness written over her face. “So what’s the plan?” It was Connor, his voice urgent.

Dr. Goodwin sighed, taking off her glasses and pinching the brick of her nose. You had never seen her like this, so defeated, and it filled you with unease.

“The police is here and a squad team too. But there is no way we can let them inside or get someone outside right now without Mr. Whitman noticing. Right now they are preparing for getting just one person in. Unarmed.”

“What help is that going to be?” Connor let out a scoff and it annoyed you how quick to judge he was, and more so, that you agreed with him. What would another person talking to Jake change?

“It would be a trained officer, who has the experience and skills to deal with these kind of high pressure situations. The plan would be for him to try and talk to Mr. Whitman first and if that’s not effective either, assess the situation and make a move or get back to the team and share valuable information with them.”

You could see Connor still shaking his head, but Dr. Goodwin stood again. “It’s the only thing Mr. Whitman has agreed to. You know I would prefer to get everyone else out, but he has been clear. If one person leaves, he is going to make use of his gun again.”

“And what are we supposed to do now? Just wait?”

“Connor”, you tried to calm him, but his eyes snapped to yours. “We need an OR now! Monique!” The blonde nurse standing next to Ethan looked over. You could see the fear written all over her face. “Can you take over for a moment?”

She gave a nod, her eyes flickering to Jake who didn’t let them out of sight. Crouching down next to you the two quickly exchanged their hands applying pressure onto your wound, the sensation making you let out a groan.

But you pushed away the pain, trying to focus on Connor. “What are you doing?”, you hissed as you watched him get up, wishing you could hold him back.

“Dr. Rhodes, we should wait for the officer to arrive. Right now the situation is stable and I can’t risk-” “Stable? Is that what you call this?” Connor pushed himself fully up now, the movement catching Jake’s eye.

“Sit back down!” But Connor lifted his hands, taking a cautious step forward. “My sister likely suffers from an internal bleeding. We need an OR to-” “No! Nobody goes anywhere!”

Connor’s face fell, his shoulders sinking, but he took another step forward. The grip the fear had around your heart tightened. “Please, I need to stop the bleeding. You don’t want her to die, right?”

Jake stared at you for a moment before his attention was back on your brother. “I just want my daughter and my wife!”

“And we get that. We do. But she-”, he turned halfway towards you, his eyes not leaving Jake for a second, “has nothing to do with this. Let me save her life.”

“I said no one goes anywhere! You save her here or you don’t save her at all. It’s on you!”

You watched Connor open his mouth again, but before he could say another word Jake stepped forward, his gun pointed directly at his chest.

“Do I look like someone who’s joking?!”, he yelled, making everyone around him flinch. Connor made himself a little smaller, taking a small step backwards while shaking his head. “Yeah, so you better listen to what I’m saying! No get your ass back down there!”

You didn’t have the heart to watch Connor when he returned to you, to see the defeat and hopeless on his face. The fear.

He had barely sat down again when another turmoil broke loose, gaining everyone’s attention. It had to be the officer Jake had allowed in, though you didn’t want to know what he would get in return for the favour.

Although you didn’t feel much hope regarding the plan, you trusted the police to make the right choice. This couldn’t be their first hostage situation, so they knew what to do, right?

What you hadn’t anticipated was that the officer coming in could be someone you knew. Someone you knew very well.

Jay.

No.

You blinked a few times, but it was unmistakably him.

His voice. His physique.

A touch at your hand drew your attention away from him for a moment and you noticed Monique had reached for it. Only now you saw you had balled your hand into a fist, all the tension left in your body visible in that one grip. Slowly she loosened it, taking your hand into hers instead and squeezing it in reassurance.

You didn’t know the young nurse so well- she was a little more on the reserved and quiet side- but the gesture filled you with deep gratitude, giving you the strength to look up again and face this new reality.

Jay hadn’t noticed you yet, his whole focus on calming Jake enough to make an uneventful entrance. When he seemed confident in the situation he scanned the room, assessing the conditions they were dealing with.

He did it with a professional calmness you wished you could have right now, his face only giving away his emotion when they fell on his brother. “Hey, man. You alright?”

He stepped forward, avoiding any rapid movements and Will nodded. “I’m okay. But Mrs. Kaden is in a bad condition. The stress on top of her physical state worries me.”

He said something else, but he had lowered his voice that it was impossible for you to understand anything. Jay nodded. “What about the two victims?”

“The security guard got hit at the shoulder. He’s stable.” “And the other one?” Will shook his head, his eyes filled with sadness. “She’s over there with Connor. It doesn’t look good, Jay.”

It was strange, listening to them and knowing they were talking about you. Waiting for the moment Jay’s eyes fell upon you.

You didn’t know what kind of reaction you were anticipating, but nothing could have prepared you for the utter shock that filled Jay’s face as he looked at you.

You watched him do a double take, every trace of his confidence and expressionlessness gone, replaced by a turmoil of emotions. He almost lunged forward, stopping himself when Jake’s warning voice filled the air.

You could see Connor’s questioning gaze on you, but you were focused fully on Jay as he made his way over to you with careful movements.

When he crouched down in front of you, he was close enough for you to see a hint of fear in his eyes. “What happened?”

Your petty argument, the distance, it all seemed forgotten as you stared at him, not strong enough to hide your own fear. “I got shot.”

Although it was obvious, it was the first time you had said the words out loud, had acknowledged the fact that this was really happening to you. It felt surreal, even with the burning pain spreading through your body, making it impossible to keep your composure.

Jay’s eyes softened as he heard your husky voice, the effort it took you to form the words another sign how bad your current shape was. For a moment his eyes drifted over your body, his face twisting in pain as he stared at your blood, before he looked up again.

“He said he’s going to kill us if he doesn’t walk out of here with his wife and his kid.” Jay nodded, his lips pressed into a thin line. “I know.”

“But- you’re here now…right?”

“Yeah, I am.” Jay tried to force an encouraging smile on his face, but you knew him well enough to know it was strained.

“You’re here”, you repeated relieved, your voice almost giving up at the end and you coughed. Jay stared at you, his eyes a little widened, his pupils dilated in fear.

He was scared. For you. He was scared for you.

“Her pulse is up to 120 and she’s sweating.” It was Monique and you saw her exchange a look with Connor. “What’s her condition?” Jay was talking to Connor now, as if he had only now realized he was there.

Under different circumstances your brother wouldn’t have let go what had just happened right in front of his eyes. He would have teased you until you would have told him the truth about Jay and you. But now he did, just like that, knowing there was no time for it as yours was running out.

The thought sent another wave of fear through your body, but with the hot pain and the growing weakness you felt too overwhelmed to do anything about it. So you tried to focus on the feeling of Monique’s hand holding yours, on Jay’s closeness and your brother’s words.

“The bullet likely caused internal bleeding. She’s losing too much blood.” Connor almost ran a hand over his face like he always did when he was stressed, stopping himself when he saw your blood on his hands.

“What do you need?”

“I need an OR. I need to find the bleeding and stop it.” His voice was a mix of desperation and determination and Jay listened intensely. His mask of professionalism was back in place, the sight having something grounding to it in the midst of this chaos, but you could detect a few flaws where his emotions threatened to pour in.

“I’m here to negotiate”, he began, eyes cast towards Jake, continuing lowly, “but really I think this will take a different ending.”

You wanted to ask him what that meant, but it seemed too difficult and you were forced to watch him get up instead. As Connor tried to get up too you tried to catch his wrist. You failed, but the movement still let him pause.

“Don’t go, please”, you whispered, your body shaking. You wished you could stop it, but you had lost all control over it, and when had it become so cold?

You felt Jay’s eyes on you as Connor leaned down to you, placing his hands on the sides of your face. “You’re sweating and your pulse is way up. Your skin is ice cold and you’re pale. I don’t need to tell you what that means. We need to do something now.”

You felt tears run down your cheeks as you tried to shake your head, silently pleading him to stay. He had already risked it with Jake once. What would he do when Connor tried it again and this time he wouldn’t give up?

“I’m coming back.” Connor stroked your cheek once before pressing a kiss against your forehead. Then he was gone, his touch only a faint memory as your head sank back against the wall.

As the two walked away from you they blurred into nothing more than silhouettes. Muffled voices filled your ears, but they were too drowned out for you to understand anything. Monique was speaking to you too, the level of her tone indicating she was saying something to soothe you, but her words never reached you either.

A part of you wanted to pass out. As much as you wanted to know what happened, with Connor and Jay not by your side any longer all your fight had left you. The pain felt unbearable now, as if someone had lit your body on fire and the flames were eating at you, slowly burning you alive.

Your throat was closing and it was getting hard to breathe. Every once in a while you choked on air, raspy coughs escaping your mouth. And it was so cold. Colder than the winter in Chicago.

The last sound you heard before the darkness finally swallowed you was a gunshot.

-

The first thing you felt when you woke was the heaviness of your body, as if an invisible weight had been placed upon you.

You could hear the steady beeping of a monitor, the sound having something reassuring to it. You listened to it for a while, too tired to pull yourself out of the haze yet.

But then the events of the day came crashing back to you, the image of Jay and Connor both leaving your side to get Jake to let them save you. The sound of a gun going off.

You blinked your eyes open, your vision only slowly clearing. But eventually it sharpened, revealing the inside of a hospital room.

You weren’t surprised at the sight, but you still paused when you took in the IV you were hooked upon. “Look who’s awake.”

Turning your head you found April at the door, a smile on her lips. But you could see it wasn’t as effortless as usual and you wondered where she had been when all of it had happened.

Had she gotten out, left to wonder about Ethan’s and everyone else’s wellbeing? Or had she been hiding in one of the other patient rooms?

“How are you feeling?” She stepped into the room, beginning her check-up on you. You let her do it, squinting when she shone a bright light in your eyes. “I’ve felt better before”, you answered truthfully, growing slightly more aware or the pressure in your abdomen.

At least it didn’t hurt yet. You didn’t want to think of the moment the pain meds would wear off.

“Where’s my brother?” April had finished her tests, squeezing your hand. “He’s still in the hospital. I told him to go home and get some rest, but he insisted on staying.”

April shook her head, clearly disapproving of your brother’s choices. “But I did get him to take a shower. He should be in the on-call rooms right now. Do you want me to go and get him?”

You thought about it for a moment. “No, let him sleep. It’s been a hell of a day for him too.”

April nodded, a small smile on her lips. “What about detective Halstead? Do you want me to send him home too?”

You stared at her in surprise. “He’s still here? Wait- how much time passed?”

“5 hours. And yes, he’s here. Actually, he just got himself a coffee. I might have forgotten to mention how disgusting the one from the vending machine is.”

“You’re evil.” You narrowed your eyes at her, chuckling. April shrugged. “Can’t have anyone know our secrets. So what is it with you and the other Halstead. Is he the one you’ve been texting this whole time?”

You hesitated, ready to deny her words, because you were used to keeping it a secret. But you weren’t sure that was possible after today, and honestly it all seemed so unimportant know that you had almost lost your life.

“We were. But things are kind of- complicated between us so I’m not sure where we’re standing.”

“Well”, April walked towards the door, a smile on her lips, “whatever it is it can’t be so serious. You should have seen the way he looked at you when you came out of surgery.”

Your chest tightened as a wave of emotions flooded you. “He really stayed for me?”

April grinned. “He might have claimed there to be paperwork at first. And then that he wanted to look after his brother. But Will went home hours ago and guess who spend the whole time of your surgery pacing the waiting room.”

April winked at you. “I’m going to search for Ethan now. I wanted to wait for you to wake up before leaving.”

Warmth filled you and you had to blink away the tears, touched by everyone’s concern for you. But the mention of Ethan’s name had also reminded you that you hadn’t been the only one hurt today.

“Is everyone okay? The security guard, did he make it?”

“Oh yeah, we’re all okay.” Before she could say another word someone else appeared in the doorway and April left, a knowing smile on her lips.

“Hey.” You didn’t think you had ever heard Jay speak so softly. It made you want to pull him close and snuggle up beside him, be safe in his arms and forget everything else.

“Hey”, you said, trying to sit up a little, but realizing it was a pointless mission.

You supressed a grin when you noticed the coffee cup in his hand, but Jay had followed your gaze, lifting it up. “That’s the worst coffee I’ve ever had”, he declared, “and we’ve only got a new machine at the precinct last year.”

You chuckled lightly. “We have the good one hidden in the break room. But don’t tell anyone I’ve told you that.”

Jay grinned. “Your secret’s safe with me.” Pulling a chair to your bedside and setting his cup on the nightstand he sat next to you, his eyes flickering over your face.

“I prefer when I am the one taking the bullet.”

He smiled, but it was a sad smile, the stress from the past hours visible on his face. “What can I say? You made it seem so effortless.”

But Jay didn’t seem amused, his eyes heavy. “When I heard about the hostage situation, I hoped you weren’t on shift. I called you, but you didn’t pick up.” He blew out a breath.

“And my brother didn’t either so-” He ran a hand over his face. “It’s why I needed to be the one going in. I needed to know if you were okay.”

“And they let you?” Although you knew they had, you were surprised Jay had been chosen. You didn’t doubt his capability as a cop, but just like you weren’t allowed to be on a personal case you had believed Jay’s involvement would have been a red flag as well.

“Not at first, no. But I was very convincing. And Voight’s not too strict about the rules anyway.”

You didn’t want to imagine the length Jay might have gone to, to get what he wanted. Especially with Voight, who didn’t appreciate anyone speaking up against him or acting out of line.

You stirred a little, your body beginning to ache. “What happened after I passed out?”

Jay’s brows drew together and you could see the graveness in his eyes. “He wouldn’t let you go.” His jaw hardened. “Like I said, negotiations didn’t work with him.”

“Does that mean…-”, you trailed of, your heart heavy. Jay gritted his teeth. “Our backup plan was for me to lead him somewhere the squat team could take the shot.”

“So he’s dead now?” You didn’t know what to feel when Jay nodded his head once. Certainly not regret, not after what he had done, but there was no relief either. Instead you just felt numb, like the turmoil of emotions you had experienced in the past hours had left you completely empty.

“And the mother and her kid?” “They are okay.” Jay seemed as relieved to deliver those news as you felt and for the first you truly allowed yourself to take a big exhale. “As okay as they can be under these circumstances.”

“How could he even walk in with a gun?” You shook your head in disbelief, wishing for answers you know you would never get. “The hospital’s head launched an investigation”, Jay told you and you imagined the stress Dr. Goodwin must be facing even now that it was over.

“That’s good I guess”, you muttered. “Yeah.” But Jay seemed somewhere else with his thoughts and for a moment you feared he would go back to being distanced towards you.

But to your surprise he leaned forward, his hand almost touching yours on the bed. “What happened?”

You scrunched up your nose in confusion. “To you. What happened to you? How did you get shot?”

You took a deep breath, knowing you would have to face that question again once Connor was up. He would be upset, but as much as you regretted your action, wished things had gone differently, you couldn’t say it had been a mistake. Not if you had prevented something worse, like a bullet hitting your brother.

“It all happened so fast.” You closed your eyes, trying to recall the moment. But your memories were hazy, the images blurry, only in fragments.

“I saw Connor coming out of a patient’s room and he- he couldn’t see the gun. Jake would have shot him. He- I- I had to do something.”

When you opened your eyes again you saw Jay’s green eyes staring intensely at you, his brows furrowed deeply.

A shadow covered his face, but it vanished before you could ask about it.

“So you’d rather get yourself killed?” It sounded a little accusing and your face fell, anger filling you. “Don’t you think I know that now? But you would have done the same for Will. I know you would have.”

Jay shifted. “That’s different”, he said, but you tilted your head at him. “I’m too tired for that conversation.”

Jay looked hurt and disappointed, but you didn’t regret your words. You couldn’t take his arguments now, not now when you were still coming to terms with the reality that you had almost lost your life.

“I didn’t know you were so selfless. I mean-”, Jay rubbed the back of his head, “I knew, because of your job and how you treat your patients, but taking a bullet for someone else? I didn’t know you were a hero.”

He was smiling now, trying to loosen the atmosphere, but this words had the opposite effect on you. “I’m not”, you said quietly. “I didn’t even mean to do that. My body just- reacted. That’s not bravery or selflessness.”

This time Jay touched your hand, the unexpected gesture drawing your attention back to him. “It’s always an instinct. It happens too quickly for anyone to make a conscious decision. It can be a reflex and still be brave. Because you didn’t hesitate.”

You hadn’t thought of it like that before and you started at him, your thoughts swirling in your brain as the desire to be close to him clouded your mind once more.

“Does it ever get easier?” You blinked, a little scared to be so vulnerable in front of him. “On tv they are fine after that. They are so cool about it. But what if I’m not fine? What if that was probably the worst thing that ever happened to me and I’m so scared?”

You bit your lip, forcing back the tears. But the truth was you weren’t ready to die yet. And coming so close to death had left its marks on you. You could feel it everywhere, as you gazed around the room, took in all the sensations you could feel, looked at Jay beside you. It was all so much.

“Hey.” Jay squeezed your hand. “That’s acting. It’s fake. You almost died. You’re not supposed to be fine right now.”

A tear escaped your eye and you wiped at it, trying not to be furious at yourself for losing your composure in front of Jay. “I don’t know how you do it. Getting shot at and still running towards danger and not away.”

Jay seemed sheepish out of a sudden, no hint of his usual confidence and wit. “It’s my job. Just like I could never do what you do.” You felt yourself smile a little, his recognition making you feel a little less small in the hospital bed. “And sometimes there are- things that happen on this job that you don’t just get over. We all have things we’re dealing with. Even I.”

Now you squeezed his hand, trying to show him you were there if he ever needed to talk to someone. Jay looked at you with gratitude in his eyes. He understood, even without words.

Silence settled in, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. There came no pressure to come up with something to say, no need to say anything at all and you could see it was the same for Jay, his thoughts drifting.

“So Connor huh?”

You hadn’t expected the question, drawing your brows together. “What?”

Jay licked his lips, inhaling. “I saw you two together. And then today-”, he trailed off, gazing to the side as he collected himself.

“I don’t know what you saw-”, you began, but Jay raised a hand. “Don’t deny it. I’m not blind. It’s obvious how much you care for each other.”

You started at him, rendered speechless as you tried to imagine what he could have seen. But it didn’t matter, because Jay was- “You’re jealous!”

He twisted in his chair, pulling his hand away. “I’m not jealous”, he said, but you shook your head, grinning. “Yes, you are.”

Annoyance flashed over his face. “I just don’t like to be played with.” Your smile faded a little, but the relief you felt only grew as your slowly began to piece it all together.

“That’s why you acted so cold towards me out of a sudden. You saw me and Connor and you thought-” You almost let out a laugh, only suppressing it as you took in Jay’s unamused expression.

“Well detective Halstead, Connor is my brother.”

You watched with delight how his face turned into confusion, surprise and then hope. “He’s your brother”, he repeated in disbelief and you nodded. “I told you I came to Chicago, because I have family here.”

Jay let out a groan, the previous tension melting from his body as your words sank in. “But Will-”, he paused, clearly rethinking something his brother had said to him, “that bastard. When I saw you together I asked him about you and he warned me not to try anything, because of Connor. He never thought to mention once that he’s your brother.”

“You asked Will about me?”

Jay narrowed his eyes playfully. “That’s what you’re concerned about?”

You let out a laugh. “Not concerned, no. I just- you asked your brother about me.”

Jay raised his brow. “Why is that so hard to believe? I mean, you asked him about me too.”

Your face flushed. “I did not!”

“Yes, you did!” Jay chuckled, clearly enjoying your embarrassment. “Will told me about it. It’s why he got so suspicious so fast when I brought you up.”

“And then he mentioned Connor and you figured-” “he said that if I tried anything with you I would have to deal with Connor Rhodes. And it’s not like you two have the same last name.”

“Different moms”, you explained and he sighed. “I should have just talked to you, but I got so mad and then I heard you two talk and I just- reacted.”

“You should have”, you agreed, “but I should have been more open with you too.”

“So, let’s try again?”

His voice sounded so soft when he said it you felt yourself melt under the covers. “If you’re ready to deal with Connor Rhodes”, you pointed out playfully and Jay shrugged, his natural confidence back.

“After I helped save your life I’m pretty sure I’m well in with him. Which reminds me, you owe me three times now.”

You rolled your eyes, feeling the tiredness return to your body. Soon enough you would be drifting off again. “It’s twice, considering you cancelled our first date.”

Jay grinned. “Fair enough. But I’m taking you out once you’re out of here.”

You smiled. “I’m counting on it.”

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[sande5098]

I was wondering if you could do one where you're Ava Bekkers daughter, and you're around 14, and the episode when there's a shooting at the park you're there and you get shot, so when you get rushed into the hospital they immediately know who you're, unfortunately you're in critical condition and you do flat line but Dr Rhodes gose against code and starts doing chest compressions to save you and you do come back and you call out for your mum and he tells you that they'll get you to her, so when you wake up you're all bandaged up and you see Ava waiting for you to wake up, and she reassures you everything is alright and you scoot over letting her sit beside you in bed before you rest your head on her chest, and she promises to get ice cream and you two joke around before you both fall asleep together, and when Connor comes to check on you both he sees you both cuddled up so he leaves you both alone. Sorry it that's a long request.

Critical Condition

A/N: so sorry this took so long, let’s just say that A-Levels are a bitch and my psychology teacher is very unhelpful. I know that the millennium park shooting does take place on a Saturday but for the minute it’s a Friday

Requested: Yes, By anonymous.

Characters: Reader, Connor Rhodes, Ava Bekker

word count: 1.9K

————

You hadn’t wanted to go to school that day, most of your friends were either sick or away on a school trip and without them there to keep you company, school would practically be hell. Instead, you headed for Millennium Park at least, you could get some food there or even just chill out and attempt to do your schoolwork which had been emailed to you after you phoned in sick for yourself.

Your mum was going to be at work until 6pm so you had plenty of time to relax for a little. Either way you went to the bean statue and sat at one of the empty park benches, it was till early, almost 9 o’clock meaning that there was hardly anyone there since practically all children were at school and the majority of people there with families with young family’s or children with their babysitters.

As you put your bag on the ground and took out your laptop to open up YouTube on a tab and play some music through your wired earbuds you smiled as some young children ran by you with their slightly unstable legs which struggled to keep up with the rest of their bodies. You looked back at your laptop and quickly opened up your emails to see what work teachers had given you, most of it was easy enough: Biology Chemistry, Geography, English, Maths and Computer science. While you had a lot of your harder subjects today, at least you could do the work outside of a stuffy, noisy classroom.

You settled down into your work, occasionally taking a sip of the coffee you brought with you in a flask. Distraction didn’t come easy to you, and raven after the obnoxious school bell went off at the end of each class, your friends still had to shake you out of your school work trance. You were shocked that after you had made it to 11:35 and had almost completed all your school work that your attention was dragged away from your laptop. Looking up you could see a stampede of people running towards you, many carrying toddlers, and then you heard it. The distinct sound of gun shots you felt your eyes widen and your throat constrict with your heart practically in your mouth as you closed your laptop and started to run with the crowd.

You were shocked that after you had made it to 11:35 and had almost completed all your school work, your attention was dragged away from your laptop. Looking up, you could see a stampede of people running towards you, many carrying toddlers, and then you heard it. The distinct sound of gun shots, you felt your eyes widen and your throat constrict with your heart practically in your mouth as you closed your laptop and started to run with the crowd.

You could feel yourself slowing down, stamina was never your strong suit and the crowds where pushing each other out of the way trying to get to safety. It was at that moment that your footing fell from beneath you and you fell face first onto the ground, smacking your head hard, a sickening crack had brought tears to your eyes as you stumbled to get back onto your feet again; forgetting your laptop that had flown across the ground.

​

You started running again, tears clouding your vision and blood in your mouth from your heavily bleeding nose. Gun shots were still flying everywhere, the sound of people screaming and falling behind you and in front of you haunting your thoughts as you begged whatever entity who was out there to spare you today, that you would never skip school again, that you could go home and see your mum today. You were too busy in your own thoughts until you felt blood oozing down your back as you fell for the second time. Not having the strength to scream anymore you just lay there, slowly drifting off into the darkness…

————

The first thing which you remembered was the sirens, all of a sudden it was loud and busy. There were multiple people standing over you in some form of uniform, your eyes wide open and you pulse racing, you could feel it everywhere. Were you… Panicking? As you thought back in your memories, noting was really coming to mind, suddenly there was an agonising sharp pain in your abdomen, crying out in terror and fear, you tried to sit up, only to be unable to. There were shushing sounds all around you, telling you it was all going to be okay. From what little you took in you could see it was red… blood? A shooting. It was all coming back to you now.

You properly looked at the people in front of you, they’re wearing blue and black with white writing, police officers were the most likely, why not paramedics? Was the shooter still there? Your breathing hitched and you could feel yourself starting to panic again. One of them lifted you into their arms and you gripped on tightly to them, trying to speak to him, he stopped, trying to listen to you. Your voice came out ragged and weak, even surprising yourself. "Tell my mum, I’m sorry". He smiled, "You will be able to tell her yourself." He said back… With that you drifted back into a dose, still accompanied by pain, screaming, sirens and beeping.

You recognised the hospital you were being rolled into on the stretcher even from the bleariness of your eyes as they squinted open. 'No no no no no... this was not were you wanted to be.' Although it didn't really matter, your mother would have found you eventually but you knew just how deep a load of shit you would be in for skipping school. As you looked around yourself you could see blood everywhere, the crimson red starting to haunt the insides of your eyelids, even if you didn't think it was there it was.

That was when you looked up at the man overhead of you, you could briefly make out Connor Rhodes, your mother's current off and on partner; although she didn't realise that you knew that. "Don't tell mum please" was all you could whisper out hoarsely before coughing up more blood, a nurse handed you a sick dish which all the blood dripped into. "We'll do what we can, Y/n". You smiled briefly but before you could thank him you felt yourself drifting off into another sleep before you could stop yourself, the shouting for a crash cart didn't even allow you to open your eyes again.

----

"She's coding! Get me a crash cart!" Connor desperately shouted as he immediately lowered the gurney and threw the pillow to one side before starting chest compressions. Even though Ava and he had their spats he couldn't bring himself to obey protocol in that moment. This child was the light of Ava's life and who knows what would happen if she weren't to make it. He had to blink the tears back from his eyes as he was instructed to stand clear of the defibrillator thankfully, it only took one shock to get her back, and before he have time to think he immediately ordered that they take her to surgery to remove the bullet and sort out the internal bleeding before Dr Lanik even had the chance to berate him for breaking the protocol.

"I want my mum," he heard a faint whisper of the words and looked down at the 14 year old who looked like she was about to cry. He smiled as reassuring as he could at he, "She'll be here with you when you wake up but we've got to remove the bullet for you." The young girl nodded before the anatheisa took hold and she closed her eyes yet again... now the real work started.

----

Connor watched as the E.D started to get back to normal well, whatever normal meant several hours later. The place was an absolute mess, blood even managed to find its way onto the ceiling, which he had found it hard to believe. Connor had yet to even find Ava, his colleague was so busy that they had been separated to do their own surgeries. Walking into the break room again, which had mostly been cleaned up he saw Ava. The usual happy blonde woman was collecting her stuff, getting ready to leave after getting changed out of her bloody scrubs. She had an extremely tired look on her face. "Ava?" She turned to look at him, "I'm not in the mood Connor, I want to get some sleep. I'm going home." She replied, attempting to walk out past him. He stepped in front of heralding her forearm. "Ava, Y/N is here. She was involved in the shooting."

Ava stopped and looked up at Connor searching his eyes for any type of deception, "No... No you're lying, where is she?" Connor swallowed the saliva building up in his mouth, "She's in the ICU, room 4" Ava felt her heart constrict as she pulled herself from Connors grip and ran for the stairs up to the ICU. She had never ran the four flights of stairs so quickly, the tears were in her eyes, as they ran down her cheeks and dropped onto the floor causing a slipping hazard if others weren't careful enough.

Reaching that room and looking through that window to see a child wearing her daughters features with tubes sticking out from all over. She carefully entered the room setting down her bags and pulling the chair in the room over to her daughters bedside, picking up the girl's limp, cold hand and holding it in her own. She felt like it had been hours she had been sitting there for when her daughter opened her eyes for the first time. "Y/N/N, Honey, shhhh you're okay. I'm here with you. There's no need to be frightened anymore." Ava softly hushed her, wiping away her daughters unshed tears, glistening in the corners of her eyes.

"Mom? I'm so so sorry, all my friends were going to be away and I didn't want to go to school so I went to the park.. I'm so so sorry." Ava hushed her daughter once again. "It's all right, Honey, we'll talk about it later."

You shuffled yourself over on the bed a little, wincing as you done so, looking over at your mom, she gave you a disapproving look which you chose to ignore as patted the bed for her to join you. Ava pushed herself from the chair and settled beside Y/n on the bed, "Sleep my love, we'll talk later over Ice-cream alright?" You nodded and felt yourself drifting back to sleep surrounded by your mothers love. Ava was not long behind her. It had been a very long day after all.

Connor watched in through the window and smiled softly at the mother and child who he was both deeply fond of. Just another day of work and keeping families together, including the woman who he loved.

[collecting-stories]

Lunch - Connor Rhodes

Request: No.

Summary: Kind of some mild flirting...establishing that Connor is interested in something more kind of thing. Might make a second part to it.

A/N: First time writing Connor...literally had this in drafts for like a year.

One Chicago Masterlist

✳︎ ✳︎ ✳︎ ✳︎

The ED was practically dead, a typical Sunday morning, especially with the snow outside keeping most of Chicago inside. Your tie-dyed NIH hoodie (not technically regulation but hopefully: what Goodwin didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you) wasn’t doing the job you’d hoped it would to keep you warm and your roommate, stuck on shift with you for the day, was already nearing annoyance levels.  

“Will,” you huffed as your phone dinged, another in a series of memes the doctor had been sending you all morning out of boredom. You left the device face down on the desk of the nurses’ station. “Stop texting me dumb shit.”  

“I’ve had one patient in the last three hours and they had a splinter.” Will complained, leaning over the counter and grabbing your iced coffee, taking a sip, “how do you drink iced coffee in the cold?”  

“I don’t know, you tell me,” you replied, taking the cup from him and putting it back where it’d been before. Just as you did the elevator doors opened, Goodwin stepping out with Connor Rhodes, obviously in deep conversation. Will laughed as you pulled your sweatshirt off, hanging it over the chair behind you and smoothing down your blue scrub top.  

“What’re you more worried about?” He teased, “Goodwin seeing your sweatshirt or Connor seeing you?” 

“Pigs would have to fly to make the second one a reality,” you replied. You deeply regretted telling Halstead that you had a crush on Connor, especially since your roommate took every opportunity to tease you about it.  

It wasn’t like you weren’t proud of yourself for the four years of med school that you’d completed to become an RN but there was no way someone like Connor Rhodes would ever think twice about dating a nurse. You’d heard from April about him and Dr. Zanetti and you were sure that was much closer to what he liked, actual accomplished doctors.  

You had it in your mind, whether it was true or not, that Connor had a type, and that type was doctors. Despite Will’s near incessant bitching about Connor having a stick up his ass and being too egotistical for his own good (as if Will was given the gift of humbleness) he was seemingly always in your corner when it came to your crush on the attending. Will was like your own personal cheerleader, constantly encouraging you to ask Connor out on a date and constantly trying to drop hints around Connor that you weren’t sure exactly panned out the way they were intended.  

“Dr. Halstead,” Goodwin greeted as she passed him, a raised eyebrow as if she was waiting for some new issue with him.  

“Ms. Goodwin,” he smiled, turning as she passed and following her with his eyes until she was out in the waiting area.  

Connor had stopped at the nurses’ station, taking one of the tablets that was docking on the counter.  

“Gracing the ED with your presence?” Will asked, reaching for your ice coffee again.  

You reached for it, fingers missing the foam holder around the plastic cup, as Will stepped a little further away. Connor watched, eyebrow raised in silent judgement as Will took another sip.  

“I’m filling in for Choi,” Connor finally supplied, the exchanging of the coffee cup happening once more as Will handed it back. “I thought you worked last night?” He added, looking over at you.  

The comment took you by surprise. You had worked the night before and knew for a fact that Connor hadn’t. “Uh, yeah, pulling a double. Were you in last night?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest as the doors to the ED slid open, Will leaving the two of you to pick up the patient.  

“No,” the doors opened again, cutting off whatever Connor was going to say and you followed him over, grabbing the end of the gurney Gabby was pushing as she relayed the patient’s information.  

You were significantly better when there was something that required your attention. Will commented on it once. Your ability to compartmentalize was remarkable. A skill you’d worked on and were ridiculously proud of, you weren’t some nervous idiot around Connor while you were with a patient, you were calm and collected and you knew exactly what to do. It made up for all the awkward staring, hopefully. You didn’t wanna seem like the fourth-year med students trolling around the hospital heaping praises on doctors they were trying to butter up or possibly sleep with. Not that you didn’t get where they were coming from, you felt like your insides turned to jelly whenever Connor so much as offered you a ‘good job’, you could only imagine what a fourth year shadowing him must be going through, but you kept it professional.  

Your patient with Connor ended up being a quick in and out, a broken bone that needed resetting and some bruising. It was nothing serious and you felt a little guilty wishing it had been a little more just so that you could spend extra time with Connor.  

“Lunch?” Will asked, coming up next to you and leaning against the counter of the nurses’ station, phone in hand, interrupting your thoughts. And your slightly obessive staring at Connor’s back while he was talking to one of the med students who had wandered down from Cardiology.  

You turned toward Will, “are you offering me cafeteria food or real food?”  

“What’s the matter with the cafeteria?” He asked, still looking down at his phone.  

“Besides the fact that it’s a cafeteria?” You countered, and then mistakenly looked away. Not that it was your fault really, just that you were actually doing your job, looking over a patient file, and you somehow didn’t have the hindsight to think that Will had caught you embarrassingly staring at Connor. But you really should have known better.  

“You want to grab lunch with us?”  

The question was enough to make you look up, clearly confused because that was Will speaking but who was he talking to and what did he mean us. And then there was Connor, staring between the two of you as if us had some kind of weight to it that he was supposed to know about and didn’t. Not that he would care, your brain reminded you.  

“Sure...” Connor dragged the word out like maybe he wasn’t sure at all.  

“Actually-” Will was already backing up toward the glass doors as they slid open and Gabby came through with Sylvie, transporting a woman on a gurney and you almost wanted to ask if he had somehow timed it. Morbid maybe but you wouldn’t put it passed a Halstead to have that kind of impeccable timing.  

“Do you need-” 

“No, I’ve got April, go have lunch,” Will replied, cutting you off. “Probably be quick anyway.”  

They’d all been quick today. Of the near nonexistent cases that come through the ED doors they had all been discharged within two hours, probably less. There were days when it felt like a revolving door that people just kept coming into but today ‘nothing serious’ seemed to be the motto.  

You stood there clutching onto your tablet as Will disappeared into room 3, unsure what exactly you were waiting for. Maybe another ambulance to pull up or someone else to come along that you could force into lunch with you. Will had abandoned you with Connor. You turned to look at him, surprised to see him already watching you, and reminded yourself once more that this was Connor Rhodes and he definitely had better things to do than get lunch with you.  

“I guess you’re off the hook.” You tried to sound casual, like it was no big deal that he would probably head back to work and you really would be stuck with the cafeteria.  

Connor looked amused for a split second before reaching across the counter and taking the tablet out of your hands, flipping the cover closed, “what are you hungry for?” He asked, then added, “my treat.” As if you weren’t already filled with excited anxiety about just going to lunch with him.  

“Oh well, if it’s your treat.” You joked, trying to play off the butterflies in your stomach as you grabbed your hoodie off the back of the chair so you could slip it on again. “Honestly,” you started to say, pausing as you struggled to pull the neck of your hoodie over your head and wonder why you didn’t just rough it and freeze in the cafeteria to avoid embarrassment, “shit.” 

“Here,” Connor stopped you in your tracks, gently pushing the hood down and freeing you from the confines of the cotton material, smiling briefly as he tugged one of the strings hanging down from the neckline. “Better?” 

“Thanks,” you huffed, “Anyway...I was gonna say honestly, whatever you want is fine. So long as it’s not pizza.”  

Connor quirked an eyebrow as he stepped onto the elevator with you, skepticism written all over his face, “not pizza? Why not pizza?” He asked.  

“Because I’m 100% sure that Will eats pizza every single night.” You replied, “I literally can’t stand the sight of it.”  

The skepticism didn’t fade as he glanced over at you again. He wasn’t entirely positive that you and Will weren’t dating. Maggie had laughed when he asked and sworn that you weren’t but he saw how close the two of you seemed to be and he couldn’t help being skeptical. Not that it had stopped him from trying to get close to you. This was as good an opportunity as any to find out right from the source, “Are you and Will?” He gestured with his hand between the two of you.  

“What?” 

“Are you together?” 

“Oh no,” you shook your head, “we’re roomies but that’s it.”  

He nodded. “Good.” 

Now it was your turn for skepticism, “Good?” You asked. You liked the way he said it, like he was happy to know that Will wasn’t any competition but also like he wouldn’t have been too worried even if there was something going on. And suddenly you wondered why you never thought he looked at you or why you thought he never would.  

“Good.” He confirmed just as the elevator dinged. The doors slid open and he held his arm out against the door jam for you to step out first. After you had, and he stepped out after you, there was the sudden and welcomed presence of his hand on the small of your back. “So, lunch?”  

“Definitely.”  

[blondie20000]

Best Course of Treatment - Crockett Marcel × Reader

"You okay Y/N?"

You look up and smile at your husband.

"I'm good."

Crockett hangs his coat up and frowns at you.

"Positive?"

You nod.

"Yeb."

He sits down next to you on the couch.

"Y/N." He raises an eyebrow. "I'm a doctor I know when an patient is not being honest with me."

"I'm not a patient."

"But you are my wife and we have known each other for a very long time now. That smile...That's not the smile I love. This smile is hiding something." He rests his hand on your knee and looks at you with concern. "I'm gonna ask again are you okay?"

You blew out a heavy sigh.

"It's nothing." You answered. The other eyebrow shoots up. You shake your head. "I swear it's nothing it's not even that bad." You look down at your feet. "My feet are sore I blame the new heels." You smile a little. "New shoes are always a bitch."

He looks at your feet and notices the redness around your toes.

"Well you poor thing." He gives you a smug smile. "Good job I'm a doctor."

"Which you told me many times."

"And I can make this all better for you." He leans forward and gives you a peck on the lips. "Wait here I'll be right back."

Few moments later Crockett comes back with a jar of foot cream.

"Here." He props the pillow against the couch. "Lay down."

You lie down. Crockett takes one of your feet and brings it on to his lap. He opens the jar and scoops some cream out on to his hand.

"Babe." You shake your head. "You had a long shift you should be resting."

"And let you suffer?" He grins. "Never. Now relax and let me take care of you."

Those words immediately filled you with warmth. You couldn't help the smile that spread across your face.

"Okay. Ready?" He asked.

You nod.

Crockett then starts to rub the cream into your foot.

"Oh God." You immediately moan as he starts to massage your foot.

"That good?"

"Very." You answered with another moan.

Once the cream is soaked into the skin Crockett curls his hand into a fist and presses down into the sole of your foot.

A curse slips from your mouth. Crockett's lips tug upwards as he continued kneading you.

His other hand grasps your toes and he gently rotates them. He turns your toes side to side.

"So good." You mumbled.

His hand cups around your foot and he gives your feet a squeeze.

"This all helps to relieve stress, tension." Crockett nodded. "It also improves blood flow and quality of sleep it even improves lower back pain and decreases your chances in getting arthritis."

You roll your eyes at him.

"Thanks really wanted to know that."

"No problem." He grins at you. "Just keeping you informed that's my job after all."

You again roll your eyes. He chuckles and returns his attention back to your foot. You close your eyes and continue to enjoy the massage.

Then you feel his hand slowly trailing up your skirt. You suddenly tense up as his fingers hook on to the hem of your panties.

"So much tension here." He shakes his head. "We have to do something about that. I know the best course of treatment." He looks up at you and smirks. "Do I get your consent Y/N?"

You look into his dark eyes and smirk back at him.

"Yes Dr Marcel you have my consent."

His grin widens.

"Excellent."

Within a second Crockett pulls your panties down and tosses them on the ground. He then teases your entrance. He circles your vagina and enjoys the frustrated sigh that comes from you.

"Crockett."

Just then you gasp.

He sticks his finger inside you.

He starts to thrust you. It started of slow at first but eventually he started to pick up the pace.

Then he sticks another finger inside you. He pushes all the way in causing you to cry out. You moan his name. You curse out loud as he hits the sensitive spots. You grit your teeth as his fingers move up, down and around you.

"Fuck!" You groaned.

Your hands grab the nearest pillow. You put the pillow over your face in order to muffle the sounds that came from you. Crockett quickly pulls out and goes back inside you again. That caused another cry from you. It came out muffled due to the pillow being over your face.

Crockett lays a hand on your trembling thigh and sighs.

"My patients are less squeamish than you."

He sounded disappointed. You remove the pillow and see the amusement in his eyes and the cheeky grin that formed on his lips.

"Admit it." He raises an eyebrow. "I'm good with my hands."

That made you groan.

But he is right. You thought with a sigh.

Crockett Marcel is good with his hands.

"You are a surgeon." You replied. "It would be weird if you are not good with your hands."

"Fair point."

As he leans forward his finger pushes inside of you again. You immediately go to cover your face but Crockett takes the pillow of you and shakes his head.

"I want to hear you. I want to hear those beautiful sounds from you." You bite your lip wanting to challenge him. He grasps your lips with his and tugs your lips away from your teeth. "I also want to see that smile."

Your lips tug upwards. He grins which makes your smile grow wider.

"That's the one." He kisses you. You respond and kiss him back. His tongue pushes inside and rolls along with yours. Your hands go to his back and you deepen the kiss.

"Y/N." He moaned into the kiss.

Hearing the way he said your name immediately made you push your body on to him. He growls and shoves another finger inside you.

His fingers start to pick up the pace again. He fucks you while he kisses you passionately. Your nails dig into his back. His other hand tugs at your hair. He pulls hard which causes you to gasp. He hungrily kisses you all over. He latches on to your ear lope and nibbles at it. He sends a trail of kisses down your collarbone towards your chest. He shoves his hand down your bra and cups your breast into his hand. He then squeezes your breast.

"CROCKETT GOD...GOD!"

Your scream causes him to increase his grip on you. He is going faster now. It is more intense, more rough and you are enjoying every moment of it. You loved how you are able to bring this animalistic side out of him.

You smirked at the thought.

Well that's one thing I am good at.

Suddenly you can feel the fire forming at the bottom of your belly. You are reaching your climax you are close.

"Croc...Crockett!" You panted. "I...I need...need."

"Yes!" His mouth moves to your ear. "Do it! I want to taste you. I want to taste you so bad Y/N!"

You didn't hesitate. You cry out as the tremor went through your body. You then let it all out.

Once it was all out you drop your head back on to the pillows and sigh heavily.

Crockett loosens his grip on you. He goes back and sits on his knees. His fingers slide out of you. His fingers are wet and sticky.

He then brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks on them. He does it slowly. He gives you a devilish smile as he licks up every part of you.

"All good in that department." He said pretending to sound professional. "Nothing to be worried about."

You laugh but it came out as more of a squeak than a laugh.

He pulls you in towards his chest and wraps his arms around you. He then kisses your forehead and strokes your back. After a while you look up at him and ask.

"Are you going to do my other foot now?"

He laughs.

"You sure you can handle it?" He asked with a teasing smirk.

You nod.

"Absolutely." You wiggled your foot. "I'm all yours."

He grins.

"I like the sound of that."

He picks up the jar of cream.

"Ready?" He asked.

You grin and again nod.

"Ready."

The End

[bellarkeselection]

Oh my, you're so right. There are not enough Will Halstead fics in the one chicago fandom. I would have an idea for this fine man. Maybe you like it.

It's the best fiends to lovers trope... I'm obsessed with this kind of stuff. They're both idiots in love but are too afraid to destroy their friendship when they would tell the other how they feel. Will is super protective of reader. Reader has a chronic illness (cause I NEED to see him in worried protective doctor mode) like a heart desase or asthma or epilepsy. So he always watches out for her helping her when she feels sick... One day he gets hit on at Molly's and reader sees him flirting with a girl. He starts to date the girl. The girl is super bitchy and is jealous of reader cause she's Wills best friend. So the girl tries to drive a wedge between reader and Will, maybe weave some lies, hurts reader mentally etc so that reader distance herself from Will cause she's hurt of what his girlfriend said to her or how she treats reader. That lead to huge emotional stress which flares up her illness. Reader is feeling bad both emotionally and physically. And it gets dramatic in some kind of way. Maybe Jay or another character notices reader getting worse and tells Will. And first he doesn't belive it, cause his best friend would tell him of she's super sick, wouldn't she? Until reader is admitted to Med or is found unconscious in her apartment or something else.

Sorry for my long rambling. This is just an idea maybe you like some parts of it.

❤️Love

Idiot Friends in Love

Okay so this is one of the longest requests I have gotten for Will so far. I honestly enjoyed writing this so so much and I truly hope I did as much as you asked for 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗

@annieradcliff

When people talk about having a best friend you have to remember that no relationship is going to be the same as someone else’s. But when my friends think of a best friend duo they look at me and Will Halstead. We’ve been in the others life from the time we were five years old and haven’t left each other’s side since then.

He had went onto to become a doctor and I had persuade working in the same police department as his brother Jay had. Years ago when Will had a fight with his dad about wanting to go off to college I was there for the aftermath when Will stormed out. He told me the main reason he wanted to become a doctor was so that he could help people, especially people like me. I was born a few weeks earlier at the end of my mom’s pregnancy which gave me underdeveloped lungs and asthma.

Walking into Molly’s bar wearing some ripped blue jeans shorts and a white tank top I was looking for Will until I finally found him up at the bar. Striding over I was about to say something until I saw him with a blonde that I couldn’t really stand to be around. Her and I had gotten off to the wrong foot and she basically always made a point to lead my best friend away me. Heading to the bathroom I leaned my body into the wall just needing a minute to myself except to my surprise the very girl I didn’t want to see came up to me. “How long do you think he’s going to be there to babysit you hmm?”

“What are you talking about?” I asked her sensing some annoyance in her tone.

The blonde named Brooke snapped. “I mean he can’t babysit you and be your best friend forever. He is an ED doc and now spends most of his time with me.”

“Did he tell you this?” I questioned her knowing my friend was very busy as was I since I was doing everything I could to someday become a paramedic for Firehouse 51 with my friend Sylvie Brett who had recently joined the team.

Brooke rolled her eyes like I was an idiot or something. “He’s just spending time with you because he’s a doctor and feels it’s his sworn duty to protect you and make sure you’re well.”

“Will and I have been friends since we were five years old. So, I think you’ve got your thoughts mixed up.” Responding to the girl I had faith in my friend way before I would ever believe what this woman was saying.

She throws her hands away from her sides. “I’m just saying he clearly doesn’t have feelings for you like he does for me.”

“How would you know huh. Can you see what he is thinking inside his head cause I certainly can’t.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve seen your little asthma attacks the first time I met you at this bar. Do you seriously think that he’s gonna want to be with somebody with a disability.”

“I’m done talking to you.” I began walking away from her until she yanked me back by my forearm.

“Just face the facts and realize you’ll just be another patient to him and nothing else.”

Yanking my arm from her grasp I stomped away not bothering to talk to her or Will for the night. The next few weeks I had basically been avoiding Will’s phone calls or texts figuring that she was right that I would always be a patient in his eyes. I decided to take a walk and see Brett so headed to the firehouse seeing her stalking supplies inside the ambulance. “There’s my favorite paramedic.”

“Hey Y/n! I wasn’t thinking I would be seeing you today. How have you been?” She climbed down out of the ambulance coming over and embracing me in a hug.

I wrapped my arms around her hugging her back. “I’m good. How are you and Casey?”

“We’re doing good. I’ve been meaning to ask how are you and Dr. Halstead. I’ve been meaning to ask lately.”

I raised a brow at her question. “Me and Will. I – I don’t understand.”

“Oh please. There’s something clearly going on between you two.” Brett rolled her eyes like I just said something completely ridiculous.

I raised my hands waving them in front of my chest not believing that there was something going on between me and my friend. “I don’t think you understand the relationship that he and I exactly. We are just friends and nothing more. Besides I’m fairly certain he doesn’t think of me in that way.”

“Pfft I’m sorry but that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” She made a noise snorting out a laugh. “Have you missed the signs where he sends you those lovey doe eyes, looking out for you, and I’ve never seen you hanging around anyone else but him since the day I met you two.”

“Look Brett, I appreciate you being hopeful. But there’s never going to be anything romantic going on with me and Will.” I felt my eyes beginning to water and I ran my fingers through my hair slowly feeling a tightening in my chest. I grabbed my chest gasping for air not expecting this to happen. “I mean why would he ever go for me. He has a girlfriend, regardless if she’s a bitch. But it’s fine – argh!”

Brett rushed forward catching my body before I could hit the concrete. “Y/n! Hey, hey, woah, woah. Kelly! Casey! I need some help out here.” She shouted before my eyes got heavy and I loosened my grip on her arms passing out on her.

I’m not sure how long I was out for by the time I slowly blinked my eyes opened and saw some bright lights that clearly looked like the hospital lights. I sucked in some breaths feeling a mask over my nose and mouth meaning asthma medicine was getting pushed into my body. The curtain drew open and I saw Rhodes enter the room carrying a chart underneath one arm. “Hey Y/n, you’re breathing seems to be doing better. I’ll just slowly take this off now.”

“Thanks Dr. Rhodes – uh where’s Brett – at?” I coughed after he pulled the mask down from my face and helping me sit upright more on the pillows.

He glanced towards the curtain answering my question. “She’s outside by the nurse desk. Will is actually with her too.”

“He is?” I asked leaning up feeling hopeful for a brief second.

He nodded walking out into the hallway waving them inside the room. Brett came in and smiled brightly hugging me and I hugged her back pulling away letting my best friend have my attention more than her. “I’ll let you two talk for a bit. Come talk with you afterwards.” She stepped outside the room back into the hallway leaving the two of us alone.

“I was so worried about you when I saw Brett bring you in like that. I mean I thought we had a better understanding going here. That – that we – “He stuttered out his words frantically running a hand through his auburn curls. “You’re my best friend so I thought you’d tell me if something bad was really going on with you.”

I did my best to lie, biting my lip unknowingly. “Will, I just had a small episode. You know flare ups can happen from almost anything.”

“I’m aware of that. But that’s not the point.”

I snapped. “The point doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does matter.”

Shaking my head I wished he wasn’t so argumentative like I was. “No it doesn’t. Look I’m fine now so we don’t have to have this conversation anymore.”

“Yes, enough of this. Okay I know you’re lying o me about something and I’m hurt that you didn’t feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it.” He raised his hands in the air.

I rolled my eyes wishing this wasn’t happening right now between us. “You don’t need to know all of my business, William!”

“We’ll excuse me. I thought us being childhood best friends meant we were much closer than you think we are!” He raised his voice at me in frustration.

Clutching my hands into fists punching the hospital bed sheets shouting up at my best friend with some tears falling down my face. “Gosh damn it Will just stop it. I don’t want to be your friend who is always a patient in your eyes. I know that’s all I’m ever going to be!”

“What. Who, who told you that?” Will made a confused face at me.

I scoffed. “That blonde girl named Brooke you’re dating. She told me facts that you clearly aren’t comfortable saying to my face.”

“Why would she say those things. We’re not together anymore.” He responded.

I parted my lips thinking he was joking. “You’re not. Why – why not?”

“She just liked the idea of dating an ED doc. I broke up with her last Friday. That’s what I was wanting to talk with you about in my multiple phone calls. But I guess I got my answer when you never answered.” His gaze lowered down to the floor and he went to leave.

I gently called his attention. “Will, wait a sec. What was the calls about?”

“They were about my feelings for you.”

Sucking in a shacky breath I wasn’t sure how to feel about what he was about to say. “Will, are you saying that you think of me more than a friend?”

Rather than giving me a verbal response he strides forward climbing up onto my bed with his legs on either side of mine. He gently grabs my face in his hands crashing his lips down onto mine not giving me a chance to say anything. It took me a minute before I ran my fingers up his arms wrapping my arms around his kissing him back.

Threading my fingers through his hair, tugging on it hearing him moan into the kiss. I thought this was a dream for a brief moment until he broke the kiss resting his forehead against mine. “You’ve always been more than a friend to me. I just - didn’t want to say anything and ruin what we have if you didn’t feel the same. And don’t ever think for a minute that you’re just a patient to me. You’re anything else but that Y/n.”

“It’s crazy that my reasoning for not telling you how I felt before now is the same reason as yours. It’s a relief we both come off as idiots in love.” I smiled chuckling resting my other hand on his cheek.

He sent me a cheecky grin. “Well can this idiot in love officially ask you out on a date tonight?”

“Yes, yes I’ll go on a date with you.” I leaned forward beginning the next kiss we shared. We were entirely too worried for nothing and it wasn’t too long after a few dates that Will was already working on having me become his Mrs. Halstead.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[callsign-dexter]

First Time Fears 18+

Request: Could you do a request for Will Halstead where the reader is nervous about sleeping with him since she's still a virgin if that's okay with you

Pairings: Will Halstead x Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut

Masterlist

A/N: thank you @bellarkeselection for requesting it. I love Will and wish he got more love.

A/N 2: @talesofreading and @imagine-all-the-fandoms prepare yourself it's a steamy one.

It's funny how fear can stop you from doing things that you really want. For example, you want to sleep with your boyfriend, Will Halstead, but the fact that you are a virgin and scared to get too intimate with him has stopped you. Stopped you every time. You're so self-conscious about it that whenever it gets brought up or you get to that point you close up and run away. You hated that you got this way. Will is a lovely boyfriend. He takes care of you when you're sick or just had a bad day. He cooks most of the time, you cook too but it’s not as good as his even if he goes on a health kick. It didn’t help that you worked with his brother and he kept asking how your relationship was with Will, it was lovely you had nothing to worry about but it tends to freeze when it comes to intimacy. You met Will when you and Jay Halstead, Will’s brother, had gone to the hospital to question a witness that had been brought in after an attack. When you both looked at each other you both knew it was love at first sight, from that day on you both exchanged numbers and began talking and about 4 months of talking and him taking you on dates he asked you to be his girlfriend and you said yes.

Currently you were out with your friends that you had come to grow and love when you moved to Chicago 8 years ago. You 3 had been chatting nonstop about everything and then it came to the topic of sex. Audrey was married to an accountant, Samantha was engaged to a teacher, and Jenna had a mechanic boyfriend and of course there was you who had a doctor boyfriend, everyone was jealous of you since you had a doctor as a boyfriend. “Oh my gosh Josh and I had the best sex last night.” Audrey said.

“Oh, do tell.” Samantha said, propping her elbows up and sipping her coffee.

“He tried this new thing with his tongue and oh my gosh it had me seeing stars.” Audrey said as the others leaned forward to listen but you sat back and became quiet. 

“Did you do anything to return the favor?” Jenna asked

“Oh, you know it.” Audrey said and now you were hoping for a phone call to be called into work not wanting to spend another second talking about sex life. You wanted to have sex with Will but you were afraid, afraid that something would go wrong and that it would hurt. You knew it would hurt some but after reading people’s experience online and some said that they didn't recover for a month you got scared and clammed up. “So, what about you and Will?” Audrey asked and you were so out of it that you didn’t even hear your name.

“Huh?” You asked 

“I asked how your and Will’s sex life was.” She said and everyone was now looking at you and suddenly you became self-conscious. 

“We haven’t had any sex yet.” You said and they all gasped.

“Are you two, ok? You’ve been together for 7 months?” Samantha asked 

“It’ll be 8 months this Wednesday. We’re good, everything is great. We’ve both been so busy. Me working a huge case and him having multiple night shifts we just haven’t found the time.” You said even though most of it was a lie but also the truth. You weren’t going to tell them you’re a virgin nobody knew except your doctor. There is nothing wrong with wanting to wait or being a virgin but it doesn't help your self-consciousness any. Before they could even answer your phone was buzzing and you grabbed it and it was Jay telling you that you needed to come in. “I’m sorry to cut this short but I have to go to work.” You said and everyone protested. “Hey, someone has to keep this city safe.” You said chuckling.

“Fine, you get a pass. Now go and keep our asses safe.” Jenna said and you chuckled and got up and placed some money down for your share.

“I’ll text you all later. Bye!” You said as you put on your coat because of course it was snowing.

“You better or I’m hunting you down.” Samantha said and everyone chuckled but agreed.

“I will.” You said 

“Good now shoo.” She said and you smiled and hugged them and then you were out the door. You pulled out your phone and called Jay.

“You saved my ass.” You said when he answered and he chuckled.

“You’re welcome. You on your way?” He asked as you got to your car.

“Yup, just got into my car.” You said as you opened your door and got in and shut it. You got your keys and turned the car on and was met with the heat.

“Good. Be safe getting here. Roads are slick.” He said and you smiled.

“I will be. See you in a second.” You said 

“See you.” He said and then you both hung up the phone.

You pulled out of the parking lot and headed off towards the precinct. You slid a few times but nothing to cause you to lose absolute control of your vehicle. When you arrived in the parking lot you sighed and stayed there for a minute and then your phone was ringing and you were quick to find it and look at the name and you smiled when you saw that Will was calling you.

“Hey, Babe.” You said smiling.

“Hey, Baby. Are you still out with your friends?” He asked and you could hear rustling around in the background and you wondered what he was doing.

“No, Jay called and said I needed to come into work. What are you doing?” You asked, curiosity getting the better of you.

“I am getting stuff to make for dinner tonight. I was calling to see if you needed or wanted anything specific. Are you going to be home tonight?” He asked 

“I’m hoping so. As for anything I need, I can’t think of anything so you’re good there.” You said 

“Sounds good. Be safe please. I don’t want you getting hurt anytime soon.” He said and you chuckled.

“Noted, Dr. Halstead.” You said knowing it drove him crazy when you called him that sometimes.

“Behave yourself.” He said and you chuckled.

“I love you. See you at home.” You said

“I love you too.” He said and then you both were hanging up.

You sighed but now you were in a better mood. You got out of your car and headed up to the steps of the precinct. An officer was quick to open it for you “Thank you.” You said to him and he smiled.

“No problem, Detective Y/L/N.” He said and then you both were quickly parting ways. You looked up and saw Trudy standing at her desk.

“Let me guess you got called in with the rest of them.” She said and you nodded.

“Looks to be that way.” You said “It was supposed to be my day off but crime never sleeps it seems.” You said chuckling and she chuckled too.

“Never. I’ll buzz you up.” She said and you smiled and nodded and walked to the gate as it made a buzzing noise and you were able to turn the knob and pull it open. 

“I can’t wait for them to put a keypad in.” You said

“Me and you both.” She said as the door closed behind you and you ascended up the stair where you were met face to face with Jay.

“Took your sweet ass time.” He said and you rolled your eyes.

“Sorry, I was talking with your brother.” You said and he chuckled.

“So, how was the brunch with your friends?” He asked as you stepped onto the floor of the bullpen.

“They started talking about their sex life. So, you really did save my ass.” You said and he chuckled.

“Sooo, how is it?” He asked, smirking and you hit his arm.

“That is none of your business.” You said glaring at him.

“I’m kidding. I’m kidding. I don’t want to know how my brother is in bed.” He said and walked away. If he only knew that you and Will haven’t had sex because of your own silly, to you, fear he would’ve laughed in your face. You went to your desk and took off your coat. You had your gun and badge on your hip, you put them there when you got ready to come into the precinct. You were just hoping whatever you needed to be called in for went by quickly so that you could get back to you loving boyfriend and maybe someday your fiancée. As you took a seat and started your computer and booted it up you looked up at Jay at his desk.

“So, what are we doing here?” You asked. Everyone had been working on a drug bust but activity seemed to have died down so it was put on hold.

“The huge drug bust we were working on has new activity like major activity. We also got new information about it so it’s all hands-on deck again.” He said while looking at you.

“Is there any chance that we are going home tonight?” You asked

“I’m hoping so.” He replied and then Hank Voight walked in and everybody looked up at him.  

“Alright everyone gather around!” He said and everyone did. “We just got word that a drop will be happening in 30 minutes. We need to get there before it happens. Jay and Y/N I want you to take the front, Adam and Kim, I want you to take the side, Antonio and Kevin take the other side. Alvin and I will take up the rear.” He said and everyone nodded.

“Yes sir.” Everyone said in unison and headed out. As you got into the truck with Jay and put on your vest quickly as did, he, he started to drive to the location. The truck was filled with small talk until he pulled up to the spot but stayed out of view. 

“You know what sounds nice right now?” You asked

“What?” He asked 

“My nice warm bed.” You said and he chuckled.

“Cuddled up with my brother.” He asked and you hit him on his arm. “Am I wrong?” He asked, chuckling and you waited a beat.

“No. You're not wrong.” You said and he chuckled “Hey, I think it's about to go down.” You said and pointed to the scene in front of you. “Call it in. I'm going ahead.” You said as you got out and slowly and quietly closed the door. Jay was quick to call it in and then he was following you to your crouched position. 

“On my command.” Hank said through the radio.

You waited and waited until it finally went down and he gave the command everyone moved in. “Chicago PD!” Was yelled throughout the group and the criminals put their hands up and everyone was arrested. 20 people in total were arrested and several pounds of drugs were confiscated. Overall, it was a great bust. Everyone high-fived each other. You were just glad no shots were fired and nobody got hurt. Soon everyone was heading back to the precinct and doing paperwork and finally around 8:00 PM you were heading home.

“Finally! I’m escaping while I can.” You said as you were putting on your coat and everyone chuckled.

“Go. Get. Before you’re stuck here. Tell Will I said hi.” Jay said and you smiled.

“I will.” You said and started to walk out of the bullpen and down the stairs you opened the gate and smiled at Trudy. “See you later.” You said and she actually smiled.

“See you later.” She said and then you were out the door and heading to your car as you were doing so you pulled out your phone and called Will.

“Hello, Gorgeous.” His voice came through.

“Hello, Handsome.” You said and he chuckled “I’ll be happy to report that we were successful on the drug bust and I’m heading home.” You said while getting into your car after you unlocked it.

“Good. I can’t wait to see you. I’ll get dinner started.” He said 

“Awww, Will. You don’t have to do that. I’m fine with leftovers.” You said

“Not acceptable. My girl needs a meal for a job well done.” He said

“There is no changing your mind is there?” You asked

“Nope. Now get home safely.” He said and you chuckled.

“I will. I love you.” You said 

“I love you too. See you soon.” He said

“Very soon.” You said and then you were hanging up the phone and driving out of the precinct and onto the main road and to your shared home. Maybe tonight you’ll get over your fear and finally have sex with your amazing boyfriend.

20 minutes later and you were pulling up to your shared apartment and parking beside his car. You shut the engine off and got out locking it. Bitter cold slapped you in the face and you quickly walked into the building and the elevator and pressed the button. It opened and you got in and pressed the button for your floor. The doors shut and it quickly took you to your floor which luckily was the 2nd floor. You got out and walked to your door and unlocked it and the smell of your favorite meal hit you. “Welcome home.” Will said as he met you at the door and kissed you and helped you out of your coat.

“It smells delicious in here.” You said and he smiled and he chuckled.

“Only the best for my girl.” He said and kissed you until you were breathless until he pulled away when the oven beeped.

“Oh, your brother said hi.” You said and he chuckled and shook his head.

“Go and change. I’ll have dinner on the table by the time you are out.” He said and you smiled at him. He was truly too good to you.

“How did I get so lucky to have you?” You asked before taking off to your bedroom.

“I ask that to myself about you. I’m just glad you stumbled into my ER with a concussion and a gunshot wound with my brother right behind you.” He said and you smiled.

“Though I’m not happy how that situation came to be, I’m glad it led me to you.” You said and then you were heading to get changed and put your gun and badge in the safe and once you were changed and walking out, he had food and drinks on the table. He pulled the chair out for you and when you set down, he pushed you in and then he sat down in his chair. You took a bite and practically moaned and closed your eyes so you didn’t see Will having to adjust his seating or look at you with the most love someone could have for their partner. “This is delicious.” You said after swallowing and opening your eyes smiling.

“I’m glad you love it.” He said smiling and he took a bite of his. The rest of dinner was eaten in silence but he still had a problem especially with all the moaning you were making. Finally, dinner was done and you leaned back in your chair. You suddenly got up and walked over to him and he turned and you sat on his lap and brought him for the sweetest kiss ever and he kissed back. You could feel his boner and you deepened the kiss. You both kissed each other furiously until you both needed air and you looked each other in the eye as you both panted. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned your forehead on his. 

“Let’s take this into the bedroom.” You said and smiled and gently got up with you in his arms and started to walk towards the bedroom. “I love you.” You said and he smiled.

“I love you too.” He replied as he gently laid you on the bed and got on top of you. He brought his lips to the side of your neck and you turned your head for him to get a better access. He kissed it slowly and passionately, occasionally nipping and then soothing it with his tongue, it made you moan and clutch onto the bedding. 

“Mmmm Will.” You moaned out and he smirked against your neck. His hands went to the hem of your shirt and he momentarily looked up at you and you nodded giving him permission. He pulled your shirt up your body and over your head. He tossed it somewhere as you laid topless in your bra, you started to get nervous. Will started to kiss down your chest and down the valley of your breasts and down to your naval. He got to your jeans. “Stop.” You said but he must’ve not heard you “Will, please stop.” You said louder and pushed on his shoulders and he did and looked up at you sitting up slightly.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asked 

“I can’t do this.” You said and he sighed.

“What is going on? This isn’t the first time you have done this.” He asked

“I’m…I’m a virgin.” You said quietly and embarrassed and you expected him to be disgusted and be done with you, you expected him to laugh but when you didn’t hear him leave or laugh you looked up at him. 

“There is nothing wrong with that.” He said and you sighed.

“I know but it’s embarrassing.” You said and shook his head.

“There is nothing to be embarrassed about. We can stop if you want.” He said and you shook your head.

“No, I want to lose it. I want to lose it to you.” You said and he smiled.

“I would be honored being your first time. We can take this at your pace.” He said and you nodded as he started to stroke your sides lovingly and tenderly.

“Please be gentle.” You pleaded and smiled and leaned up to kiss your lips.

“I promise.” He said against your lips and you nodded and he leaned back and took off his shirt showing his ripped body and his amazing abs. You leaned up and touched them and felt them flex underneath your touch. “Like what you see?” He asked, smirking, this wasn’t the first time you’ve seen him shirtless but each time it took your breath away you never expected a doctor to be so ripped.

“Absolutely.” You said and he chuckled and then started to unbuckle his belt and undo his pants. You watched him practically drooling and almost whined when he got off the bed but when you saw him pushing his pants and underwear down to release his leaking angry red cock you kept quiet. You’ve seen his cock before; you’ve given him plenty of blowjobs so seeing it was no surprise. He got back up on the bed and reached behind you as you lifted up so he could undo your bra and slide it off of you, when you were exposed to him you quickly tried to cover up but he stopped you.

“You have nothing to be shy about. It’s me.” He said and you nodded and he continued to unbutton your pants and undo the zipper and pulled them down along with your underwear and off of you. Now you were truly exposed to him and he was fully exposed to you. “You’re so beautiful.” He said and you blushed and turned away. “You still, ok?” He asked and you nodded “I need a verbal answer, Baby.” He said.

“I’m ok. Please don’t stop.” You said and he smiled and nodded and leaned down and kissed your lips and you kissed back. His hand traveled down your body until it got to where you needed him the most. His other hand was by your head stroking your hair. He touched your clit and you jumped. 

“Shhh, I got you.” He said against your lips as he started to circle it, rubbing it, and pulling on it. You started to feel good and started to let out moans into his mouth. He then slid his hand through your folds and down to your entrance and he started to put a finger and you tensed up and he stopped when he felt it. “Hey, it is ok. I got you. We can stop if you want. Just say the word.” He said and you shook your head.

“No, no. Keep going.” You said and he nodded and watched your face as he slid his finger in further until he felt resistance and your breath caught in your throat. He stopped and you nodded and he slowly slid a finger into you and it felt weird and he stayed there for a minute until you nodded and he started to move it back and forth the pain went away and pleasure started to take over and you moaned. Just as you were about to cum, he pulled out gently. “Hey!” You said looking at him glaring and he chuckled.

“I wanna taste you. I want you to cum on my face.” He said as he slid down to come face to face with your slick folds. You were about to say something but he licked a broad stripe of up your folds and you moaned loudly. This was the first time he had ever gone down on you and you wonder why you never let him do it before. It was magical. Your hands went to his red curly hair and gripped it. He ate you out like you were his last meal. You would have closed your thighs around his head but his broad shoulders were keeping them open.

“Fuck, Will!” You moaned and that caused him to go faster and started to tongue fuck you and occasionally he would come up and give you clit attention biting, swirling, and sucking on it. You were close and you started to clench around nothing. “Fuck, I’m close! I’m close!” You moaned out and then he was speeding up his efforts until that knot in your stomach exploded and you were cumming on his face and he was lapping it all up like a dog would water on a hot day. Your grip on his hair tightened as he lapped up your juices through your high. When you did come down from your high and sat up making you let go of his hair. “Fuck, Will. That was so good.” You said and he smiled and you could see your slick covering his chin. “Why I haven’t let you do that until now is beyond me.” You said and he chuckled again.

“I will always make you feel good and make you cum. You don’t have to worry about that.” He said and he smiled.

“I know.” You said and then he leaned forward and kissed you. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he French kissed you. You had to admit you tasted sweet. You both broke the kiss when air was needed. 

“Are you ready?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yes.” You said and he grabbed his angry hard thick cock and positioned it at your entrance. He ran his cock up and down your folds and then slowly pushed into your entrance and when you felt it hit that resistance you tensed and he stopped. 

“We’re taking it at your pace.” He said 

“I’m ok. Go on.” You said and he nodded and rocked forward until he pushed all the way in and you felt a snap and you tensed up. Once he bottomed out, he stayed there. He watched tears fall from your eyes and he was quick to wipe them away. 

“Hey, shhhh. It’s ok. I got you. It’ll only hurt for a few minutes but I need to start moving, ok?” He asked and you nodded.

“Ok.” You said quietly sniffling. He nodded and started to rock his hips and pain shot through your body but as he started moving more the pain turned into pleasure and you started to moan. 

“I got you.” He said once you got comfortable with it and you wanted him to go faster.

“Faster.” You said 

“You sure?” He asked and you nodded.

“Positive.” You said and he obeyed and started to move faster he caged your head in with his arms and his mouth went to your neck. 

“Fuck! Squeezing me so tight!”  He moaned and your hands went to his shoulders, fingernails digging into them. “So perfect!” He moaned and you moaned with him and panted. 

“So big. Making me so full.” You moaned as you threw your head back and to the side and your nails dug into him more and hissed but he loved it. “I love you so much.” You moaned again.

“I love you too.” He replied and then his lips were on your left nipple and that had you letting out a pornographic moan.

“Fuck me!” You moaned as he swirled and licked your nipple. He didn’t stop there as he nipped and tugged on it. Just that alone was bringing you close to the edge and quickly. “Fuck, don’t stop! I’m close!” You said and then he was pulling off your left nipple and giving the right nipple the same attention. During all of that your nails had started to go down his back leaving scratch marks but he wasn’t complaining. Once he felt that your right nipple had enough attention, he pulled off of it and looked at you’re in-awe expression. 

“I can’t wait to marry you and fill you with children to watch these-” He started and cupped your breasts “swell.” He said and that had you moaning and closer to cumming. “Cum with me.” He said and released your breasts and brought one hand to your clit and started to rub it and play with it. You could tell he was close by him starting to stagger in his thrusts and you started to squeeze him “That’s right squeeze me. Cum with me. I’m close.” He said and you nodded.

“Me too. Let’s start making a baby now. I want to mother your kids and I don’t want to wait. I’m not on birth control.” You said and that all too familiar knot was back and it was about to snap. That seemed to spur him on because with one last tug on your clit you were cumming hard and then he was too. You both came with loud moans as he painted your walls white. “Fuck.” You said as you started to come down from your high.

“You’re amazing. I can’t wait to have kids with you and be your husband.” He said as he was coming down too. Once you both were blissed out, he slowly pulled out of you and you could feel his cum trickle out of you and you jumped from overstimulation when he pushed it back in. Once it was all back in, he laid on the other side of you. “Were you serious when you said you weren’t on birth control?” He asked and you nodded.

“I haven’t been on it for a while. It was screwing a lot of things up with me.” You said turning to look at him and he slipped an arm under you and pulled you into him. 

“Thank you for letting me be your first.” He whispered

“I knew from the very moment we started dating I wanted you to take my virginity. I always got scared when we started to get very intimate and that I would be hurting for months from what I’ve read.” You said and he gave you a look. “I know I know. I shouldn’t haven’t looked it up. I couldn’t help myself.” You said and he chuckled.

“I would never ever hurt you. Ever. I love you too much to do so.” He said and you nodded and smiled.

“I know and I love you too. It was amazing by the way.” You said as you cuddled into him and he started to throw the covers over you.

“Only the best for my girl.” He said and kissed the top of your head. That’s how you spent the rest of the night. In his arms with nothing to worry about. The smell of his cologne and the scent of sex was lulling you to sleep. Your eyes finally slipped closed and breath evened out. Once Will felt your breath even out, he kissed your head one more time and he finally allowed himself to fall asleep. Both not knowing that one of his strong swimmers had made contact with an egg and life was being created inside you. 

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

[whump-imagines]

Ice

Will & reader (could be platonic or early relationship.)

900 words

For anyone else who was missing a certain red head on Wednesday...

You felt like Bambi trying to make your way across the parking lot toward the hospital. Between sleeping through your alarm and the icy road conditions you were running very late for your shift. In your haste to get out of the house, you’d thrown on your regular shoes rather than your boots.

About halfway to the door your tractionless shoes slipped and you took a full cartoon style fall– both feet up in the air to land hard on your back. The hit knocked the wind from your lungs and it took a moment to suck in a breath.

Seconds later, the pain registered. Your back and head hurt. Before you could even think of what you should be doing next, Will was kneeling beside you.

“Don’t move,” he said. He started to run his fingers down either side of your neck in search of any abnormalities. “You hit your head pretty good. Does it hurt?”

You coughed, your lungs still trying to function properly. “Uh, yeah. My back too, kinda like up between my shoulders.”

“Okay, can you squeeze my fingers?” He placed two fingers against both your palms and you did as he'd asked. “Good, and push against my hands like you're pushing the gas pedal.” Again, you did as asked.

“Fuckin’ ice,” you muttered quietly.

“Okay. Do you think you can sit up?” Will asked.

You took another deep breath. “Yeah.” He offered his hand and very slowly pulled you into a seated position. You closed your eyes tightly as dizziness set in. “Woah.”

“Talk to me, sweetheart.”

You peeled your eyes open, locking into his concerned ones. “Just dizzy. Really dizzy.”

“You probably have a concussion,” Will suggested.

A shiver ran down your spine. “Yeah, well, won't matter if I freeze to death out here.”

Will chuckled. “We are going to move slowly. I don't need you passing out because you stood up too quickly.” He shifted so he could stand to help you up. “Ready?”

“Yup.” You winced as you straightened up, pain flaring through your back. You took half a step to get closer to Will and your feet slipped slightly. You gripped onto his arm so tightly your knuckles turned white.

“Okay, you're okay. I got ya.” He started to walk slowly and carefully towards the doors.

Once you made it to dry flooring, you sighed in relief. Will kept your hand wrapped around his arm as he headed towards the nurses station.

“Hey, Mags,” he greeted. “What's open? She took a hard fall outside.”

“Oh, sweetie.” She rubbed your shoulder gently. “Take treatment one.”

“Thanks,” said Will. “Can I get thoracic and cervical spine x-rays and a head CT?”

“And something for the pain? Please?” You asked.

“Let's get 50 micrograms of fentanyl, too,” Will added. “Oh, and a warm blanket.”

“You got it,” Maggie noted all the requests in the tablet she was holding. “Any blood work?”

“No, just the scans for now.”

About an hour later, you had finished all the scans and were trying your best not to doze off under your second warm blanket. April had brought a new one when she'd come to check your vitals.

Will came in with the tablet in his hands. “How're you feeling? In too much pain?”

You gave him a thumbs up. “I'm possibly too comfy. I'm fighting the nap hard.”

“Good news then. You can nap shortly,” he said.

“Yay!” You said lazily.

“You do have a mild concussion,” he explained. “As well as two bruised ribs. So you're stuck here for observation until at least tomorrow but you can sleep if you want.”

“Well that's gonna hurt tomorrow. Awesome,” you added sarcastically.

Will squeezed your hand gently. “At least nothing is broken. Get some rest, alright?”

“Mmhmm,” you hummed, already giving into the pull of sleep.

You had no idea how much time had passed when you woke up. It seemed a safe guess that the pain was what had roused you. It felt like someone was digging a knife into your shoulder blade and breathing made it even worse.

You groped around the bed for the call button as tears welled in your eyes. A moment later, you found it and proceeded to push it several times. April pushed the curtain back soon after.

“You're awake,” she stated.

A tear rolled down your cheek. “It hurts. It hurts a lot. I feel like I can't even breathe.”

She quickly moved closer and took your hand. “Just squeeze as hard as you need to. Take slow breaths.” Within a few minutes she had calmed you down quite a bit. “I'm gonna go find someone to get you something for the pain. I'll be right back.”

She leaned out the door and you heard her tell someone that you needed something for pain. Will came in a second later and gave April a dosage for morphine.

“That should help,” he started. “I'll make sure to get you a prescription before we send you home too. Sound good?”

“Thanks, Will,” you said. He took your hand. “What would I do without you?”

He laughed. “Probably would have just frozen to death in the parking lot. So my shift is over soon and you're getting moved upstairs. What do you say to some pizza and a movie?”

“Ooh, yes. Please! Hamburger, bacon and extra cheese for me.”

“Okay. I'll see you upstairs in an hour or so.”

[countrymusiclover]

11 - Must Answer the Call

Part 12

Dr. Redheaded Neighbor

Comment your thoughts down below or in a reblog post

Tag list - send an ask to be added @annieradcliff @watermeezer @zaidatorcuatomorgado @kmc1989

One Year Later

Running as fast as my feet could carry me I abandoned the building that was on fire falling down onto the ground tripping on some wood that had fallen off the house because of the fire. I groaned blinking my eyes seeing Casey rushing to my aid where he yanked me up before our bodies got thrown forward by an explosion of flames. “Easton! Ugh – are you alright?”

“Yeah. I – I think so. How are you?” I forced myself to my feet as best as I could offering him my hand helping him off the ground. Brett and Dawson had already left in their ambulance with the patients that needed o go to East Mercy hospital.

Casey removed his firefighter helmet from his head running a gloved hand through his hair. “I’m okay. I’ve been in tougher situations than what we had today.”

“Hey chatty Kathy’s let’s get back to the house. Mill’s has food going in the oven and I’m hungry!” We turned our heads in the direction of the fire truck that Kelly was climbing in the backseat.

Casey and I made our way back over to the fire truck where we made our way back to the house. Climbing out of the passenger seat my boots hit the stone concrete floor. I hung up my firefighter gear just walking around in a fire house 51 shirt, some blue jeans and my brown boots about to go get some food until my phone rang off inside my locker when I walked past it. “Hey, Halstead. I wasn’t expecting to hear a call from you this early in the day.”

“Are you Ms. Mallory Easton?” A computer operator voice responded through the phone.

“Yes. This is she. Who is this?”

“You’re call is now being transferred.” The operator answered back.

“Ms. Easton, this is Lieutenant Griffin. I have been trying to reach you for a while now.”

I ran a hand through my hair nervous to hear his voice after all this time. “I apologize for that, sir. I have gotten a new job with Firehouse 51. So, I haven’t been seeing your phone calls recently. Um, what exactly do you need to tell me about?”

“I must inform you that we need you and Maxon back for deployment.”

Slowly lowering myself down onto the wooden bench in front of my open locker I couldn’t believe what he had just said to me. “Sir, I - I have no clue what to say. I thought I was done – that I had finished my tour.”

“When Dr. Owen sent you home we believed that we had cleared everything from here. Unfortunately we had some new information come in from one of our guys. Somebody is planning on attacking the US soil.”

Sucking in a breath I felt like I was frozen in some sort of nightmare. I was finally with my best friend. I had found some more friends and gotten a new job that I was beginning to enjoy here. Now it might all get taken away from me. “Sir, how soon would I have to be deployed out?”

“I’d give it would be three to four months at the most.” He responded through the phone with a very heavy sigh meaning he didn’t care for the answer he had given me either.

“Lieutenant Griffin, when do I need to let you know that I have everything squared away on my end?”

He corrected my statement. “You have to remember Ms. Easton. This is the military you don’t have to give us notice. If we need you you’ll just have to follow the orders you’ve been assigned.”

“Yes, I understand sir. I’ll figure this out.”

He hung up the phone without another word. “I’ll be in touch. Good day.”

Sitting my phone down beside me I hit the lock button on my phone then turned it back on to show the lock screen that Will and I had taken with Maxon on our one month anniversary where we had went and done the tilt at the John Hancock Building.

“Two tickets for the 360 tilt.” Will handed asked the cashier woman at the front desk the money.

I was standing behind Will and Maxon was sitting beside me while I held his leash attached to the collar loosely in my hands. “Oh, I’m sorry ma’am. But he can’t be up there unless he is a service dog.”

“He’s actually a former Army veteran K-9. I think he meets that criteria.” I corrected her statement with a smile.

She nodded seeing Maxon wagging his tail happily at her. “Ah I see. Have a good time.”

The three of us entered the elevator with a few other people who were going up with us. Once the doors opened I led Maxon forward until we reached one of the windows and he put his paws on the glass wagging his tail happily. “Pretty neat isn’t it, Max?” He barked in response to me.

Will joined us looking out the window seeing all the city buildings from this high up. “And here I thought the hospital balcony had a view.” He chuckled in awe never being up this high.

“This is the second time I have been able to enjoy being this high off the ground. When you look out the side of a helicopter it’s not the same since you’re going off to war.” I held my mouth opened just living in the moment with the building lights shining all over the nightly windy city.

An idea popped inside the ED doc’s head where he took out his phone nudging my arm. “Let’s do a picture up here.”

“Yeah but you’re getting in it too.” I told him bending down on a knee to be level with Maxon.

Will held the phone up wrapping one arm over my shoulder. “One, two, three. Got it.” He hit the camera button a few times showing me the picture of the three of us.

“We’re pretty good together. Happy anniversary, Mal.” Will leaned down kissing me softly on the lips with a smile.

I smiled into the kiss leaning up on my toes, wrapping my fingers around the tea shirt he was wearing. “Happy anniversary, Will.”

Hearing footsteps entering the locker room I bent my head down into my knees trying to still process that phone call. I wasn’t prepared to get deployed out after getting the leg brace. And now Will and I were in a really good place, so what was he going to think now. “Hey Mallory, Mills wants to know what type of pizza you want. Woah, hey what’s wrong?”

“Huh – oh it’s nothing Brett.” I attempted to lie hoping she wouldn’t pick up on it.

She slowly came and sat down to me. “If you’re crying then it’s clearly not fine. I’m you’re friend you can tell me anything.”

“I got deployed, Sylvie.”

She covered a hand over her mouth in shock. “I’m sorry. Are you going to tell Will?”

“I don’t have much of a choice in the matter. I just know I need to tell the truth of something we’re gonna have to deal with together.” I responded to my friend.

She noticed me slowly getting up and grabbing my normal gear to go home for the evening. “Where are you going, Mallory?”

“In case the Chief or Casey ask where I went. Just say I had an emergency come up but I’ll be back tomorrow.” Shrugging on my jacket I bolted out of the room and to my car needing to see my boyfriend sooner rather than later.

[winchesterszvonecek]

will halstead with ‘You’re such a fucking tease, I hate you.’ prompt but reader is the one in control/more dominant?

Tease - [ Will Halstead ]

Prompt: “You’re such a fucking tease, I hate you.”

Word Count: 1650

Warnings: female!reader, strong language, smut - [ dominating behaviour, brief bondage, brief female masturbation, teasing, unprotected sex ]

Masterlist | Will Masterlist

shoutout to @dumplingsjinson for the prompt list

When it came to being in control, Will knew exactly where and when it was his turn to take the lead. For example, the hospital, he was your boss after all which meant you had to do whatever he told you and listen to his orders, but when it came to the bedroom? Well, let’s just say that Will knew his place the second he crossed over that threshold.

Will’s back hit the mattress with a soft thud, a deep groan rattling up his chest as he felt the weight of your body as you climbed on top of him, clad his favourite slinky negligee which you could tell was his favourite given how hard he was as he twitched beneath you, feeling the wetness of your arousal coating his skin. He wasn’t used to being the submissive one when it came to sex but there was just something about the way you took control that made him want to roll over and give himself up to you completely.

“I didn’t like the way you ordered me around today.” You said seductively, grabbing his discarded belt from beside him and slowly trailing it across his chest, the coldness of the buckle sending a fierce shiver down his spine.

“Well I am your boss.” Will replied smugly with a grin on his face that you quickly wiped away when you ground yourself against him, spreading more of your wetness along his thick length that lay nestled between your legs, not inside you yet though which you knew was driving him crazy. “Fuck…”

“Keep talking and you’ll only make things worse for yourself.” You whispered into his ear as you leaned forward, trailing your tongue across his skin before tugging hard at his earlobe, eliciting a soft moan from Will as you paired it timely with another painstaking grind of your hips against him.

You pulled back from him, laughing quietly to yourself at the mere state you could put him in. The way he was so twitchy beneath you, his cock practically throbbing against your pussy and you could feel how he kept trying to push his hips up further, desperate to finally feel himself inside you after the day you’d spent teasing him.

He knew the second you cornered him in the stairwell and purposely pushed yourself against him was to make him hard, and it had worked too as he had to take a minute to cool off in the bathroom before he went back to work. And now, because of that, he was in such desperate need to feel you that he almost gave in and started begging, the one thing he knew you wanted from him but he also knew you weren’t going to make things easy for him after he’d ordered you to stand down in treating a patient, and therefore he wasn’t about to give him so easily either.

You grabbed his wrists, bringing his hands above his head where you bound them together with his belt, pulling it extra tight that it had his hips jerk upwards, his hardened cock brushing against your soaking entrance in a way that almost had you roll over for him to completely devour you instead, but you managed to control yourself. After all, this was your payback for today and you’d be damned if you let him have it so quickly.

“Is that too tight?” You asked quickly, not wanting to hurt him accidentally. He shook his head, pulling his hands apart just a little to show you he still had room to move them before you nodded in satisfaction, placing a rough kiss against his lips before you pulled back, rolling your hips once again before your hands slowly started to work their way up your thighs.

You could see the way Will’s eyes darkened, the muscles of his arms straining against the leather that bound his wrists as he watched your hands trail up your own body, gripping the edge material that covered your chest before you yanked it down, freeing your breasts which had Will swear under his breath.

He watched intensely as you began to play with your nipples, his cock throbbing fiercely beneath you as he tried desperately hard to feel you against him. You knew he loved touching you, loved feeling your hot skin beneath his large hands and you knew he loved your breasts most of all, loved feeling the soft mounds under his palms and those hardened buds between his fingers, which is why you could easily tell just how much not being able to touch you was driving him crazy.

“You’re such a fucking tease… I hate you.” Will said breathlessly, the smirk that rose on your face as you continued to caress your breasts almost making him want to break free of his belt and flip you over, but he happened to like this belt and he knew if he did, you’d only make things worse for him next time.

“Well if you hate me so much, I guess I better just get myself off instead as you couldn’t possibly want to do it for me.” You teased, pulling the negligee over your head so you were now fully naked, your hand going immediately to your throbbing clit before the material had even hit the floor.

“I know you mean that as a threat, but fuck baby… The thought of seeing you get yourself off on top of me makes me so fucking hard.” Will groaned, watching the hint of darkness to your own lust filled eyes as you drew gentle circles on your clit, making you moan softly as your knuckles brushed along his cock with each motion.

“As fun as it would be to have you watch me…” You exhaled, arching your back a little as you continued to pleasure yourself before you suddenly stopped, your now wet fingertips walking up his chest and over his chin, pushing open his mouth as they hooked behind his teeth. “I think I’d much rather have you do it for me.”

At that second, as Will was far too preoccupied with tasting you off your fingertips to notice anything else, you grabbed hold of his cock, settling the tip between your folds before you slowly began to sink down onto it, making him bite down on your fingers as low, breathy gasps left his lips as he filled you up completely.

The way you felt around him, the mere tightness of your pussy had him bust free of the belt that bound him, the leather strap hitting the floor with a thud as his hands came to grip your hips, fingers digging deep into your flesh and you lifted your hips, setting a slow pace as you slid back down until he was once again buried deep inside you.

“Couldn’t wait to get your hands on me could you?” You said around a moan as you began to pick up the pace, feeling the warmth of your own arousal as it spread across your inner thighs.

Will didn’t say anything, he literally couldn’t as the moment you started moving faster, his hands slinking around your back to hold your ass as they guided your motions, he became a moaning mess beneath you, unable to do anything but watch you. The way your breasts bounced with each movement had him biting down on his lip, his hips starting to thrust upwards, meeting your pace as you gripped the headboard, riding him in a way that made him want to boss you around at work more often if this was his punishment.

“Fuck… Will… Fuck, I’m gonna come.” You panted, his fingers pushing harder into the flesh of your ass as you felt that pressure deep inside you building, ready to burst with each thrust of his cock against your sweet spot.

“Come for me baby.” Will groaned, angling his hips just right that with one last, well-synced thrust of his cock meeting the grind of your hips, his tip hit hard against that spot deep inside you, causing you to clench tightly around him, as you came hard, your legs tensing around his hips.

“Fuck…” You threw your head back, your body stilling as Will’s hold on you was the only thing keeping you moving as he fucked your through your orgasm, one that was so intense, so pleasure driven that you could see stars and feel the pure heat that coursed through your veins.

The way his name left your lips, so breathy and so sweet sounding pushed him over his own edge, his eyes glued to you, beads of sweat beginning to roll down the valley of your breasts as they rose rapidly with each breath you took. The moment your head tilted forward again and your eyes met Will’s he knew he was done for.

He slammed your ass down hard against him, his warmth releasing inside you as your name left his lips in a deep, raspy groan, your hands landing atop his chests as you began to move your hips again, feeling him throbbing inside you as you milked every last drop from within him. You fell forwards, your bodies sticking together with sweat as you kissed him, his body still twitching beneath you as he came down from his mind blowing orgasm.

You pulled back, staring deep into his eyes as Will’s hand pushed back the hair that stuck to your forehead, threading his fingers through it before pulling you in for another quick kiss, neither of you having much air left in your lungs for anything longer.

“If that’s the punishment I get for ordering you around at work…” Will said breathlessly, a small smile creeping its way up into his face. “…then baby, you can bet that I’ll be doing it a hell of a lot more because that… was fucking incredible.”

Prompt List

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You Got This, Kid (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister Imagine)

A/N: I'm back! Please enjoy this imagine about what I've been going through with grad school applications and everything else these past few months. It's a long one (the longest I've ever written, clocking in at 23.7k words), so grab you might want to grab your snacks now. Finally, thank you for reading, and don't forget to reblog/like and comment!

Enjoy!

Okay, so maybe checking your email when you were out to lunch just trying to have a relaxing afternoon before taking a nap before work was a bad idea.

"Yeah?" Jay asked when he answered his phone.

"I'll know if I got into East Carolina by 6 pm today," you told him. You had been researching and applying to Ph.D. programs in clinical psychology since August and had decided to apply to five in total. It was currently January and you had yet to hear back from a single one. And, East Carolina University was your top choice.

"Oh, wow. Just take a couple deep breaths. I guess today was a bad day to have us get the new appliances put in, huh?"

"Yeah."

For Christmas, Hailey's Christmas present to herself and Jay's Christmas present to her were all new appliances in the apartment. You had no idea how they got around that since they were renting, but you had a suspicion that them both being cops had something to do with it.

"Well, the appliance people just left, so you can come home any time," Jay told you. "Think positive."

You rolled your eyes. "You know you're talking to the world's biggest pessimist, right?"

"It wouldn't kill you to be a bit more positive is all I'm saying."

"It's not like you're a ray of sunshine either, Jay."

"Fair point."

"Well, I've got two pages left of this chapter and then I'm coming home."

"Okay, drive safe," Jay told you and then you hung up the phone.

You knew you needed to get home soon because the more time you had to sleep before work tonight the better. And, you knew it would be hell falling asleep because you'd be counting down the minutes until you knew whether or not you got into ECU.

***

"This is fucking ridiculous," you muttered as you walked out of your room and into the kitchen.

"Language," Jay warned from his place at the kitchen table, case notes spread out in front of him.

"I'm 23, Jay."

"Fair point. What are you doing up anyway?"

"I can't sleep," you whined as you grabbed the kettle from the stove and began filling it with water. "And, why are you working when you're not at work?"

"I can't relax. You know that."

"Apparently I can't either," you muttered.

You felt like you were going to throw up from nerves. What if you didn't get into this Ph.D. program? And, if you didn't get into this one, what if you didn't get into the other four? If you didn't get into a Ph.D. program and a Ph.D. was required for your degree, then what were you going to do with your life?

You dug the fingernail of your pointer finger into your thumb to ground yourself. You knew it wasn't the healthiest coping/grounding mechanism, but hey, it worked.

The kettle was whistling, so you turned off the burner and grabbed a mug and a peppermint tea bag. Maybe the peppermint would help your nervous stomach settle. After all, Will told you peppermint tea was supposed to help with period cramps, so maybe it would help with this, too.

"You want some?" you offered. "I'm making peppermint."

"Sure, why not," Jay agreed.

Once your tea was finished you handed a mug to Jay. "I didn't put any milk or sugar in yours because you're a health nut."

"Now you sound like Hailey," he said and stood up to add a splash of milk to it.

"I'm gonna go read until I can't keep my eyes open," you told him. "The faster I fall asleep, the faster the time will go, so the sooner I'll know if I get in."

"Night, kid," he said.

Then, you made your way to your room and turned on a calming instrumental playlist on Spotify, turned on a lamp so that the lighting was dim, but enough that you could see, and then curled up in your bed with the book you were currently reading and your mug of hot, peppermint tea.

***

As it turns out, sleeping for a long period of time to make time go faster was easier said than done.

You tossed and turned for half an hour until your eyes were finally drooping while you were reading. And then, you woke every hour for the next three hours. The last time you woke up was 5:45 pm.

The email said you'd know your results by 6.

A knot formed in your stomach as you reached for your phone. You opened your flagged emails and located the one which had the link to the application portal. Then, with shaking hands, you clicked on it.

You took a deep breath and logged in.

You felt your heart beating out of your chest as you hit the tab that read application status.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath and opened them.

Despite the contents of your application, we are a very competitive program...please don't let this deter you from applying to other or future programs...

Tears began to prick your eyes.

"Fuck," you muttered. "No, no, no, no."

You grit your teeth to keep the tears from falling and grabbed your phone and then left your room and walked out to the kitchen, where Jay was cooking dinner.

"Hey," you said quietly.

"Hey, you didn't sleep very long—" But then, Jay saw your face. "Oh no. ECU?"

"Denied," you told him as you continued to hold back tears.

"Hey, there's still what? Four other programs you applied to? And, you just emailed a school in Florida yesterday about how to check your application status, so maybe you got in there. Did they email you back yet?"

You shrugged, Jay was always the rational one though, so you opened your phone and once again navigated to your emails. Sure enough, University of Florida emailed you back with instructions on how to check your application status.

"They emailed me."

Jay nodded, but you didn't see because you were too busy hitting the link the school had sent you and then typing in your username and password.

When it loaded, your heart dropped.

There, in big, red, bold letters after application status, it read Denied.

"No," you choked out as tears began to stream down your face. "No, no, no no! If I didn't get into either of these, how am I gonna get into Wayne State because that's the best neuropsychology school in the country? And then I only have two left and—ugh!"

"C'mere, c'mere," Jay said softly and took a step towards you and wrapped his arms around you.

"I just- I worked so hard on the applications!" you sobbed as your tears began to soak his shirt.

"I know. I know you did, kid. It's their loss. There's a school out there for you."

"But what if there's not!"

"There is." He paused and then his parental/brotherly instincts kicked in. "Now, do you want to stay here and eat or go back to sleep?"

"Go back to sleep," you mumbled.

"Okay. I'll wake you up in two hours so you don't have to set an alarm. Sound good?"

"Okay," you muttered.

When you started to make your way to your way to your room, Jay said after you, "You go this, kid."

***

It had been two days since you learned you had gotten denied admission to East Carolina University and the University of Florida. You had thought about your plan and what you were going to do next. The only options you had come up with were (1) apply to PsyD programs (more clinical, less research, but also less funded) if you could find some with later deadlines that were still accepting, (2) go to school in Europe (but that might pose issues with licensing if you ever wanted to come back to the US and practice), or (3) take yet another gap year.

You had relayed these options to Will, Jay, and Hailey the night before when Will stopped over with some I'm sorry you got rejected from two Ph.D. programs so maybe this will make you feel better coffee from one of your favorite coffee shops before your shift last night.

"Morning," Jay said when you walked upstairs later that night. Despite it being 7 pm, since you worked night shift, this was technically your morning.

"Morning," you said, your voice monotone.

"You feeling okay?" Jay asked as you grabbed the container of cold brew from the fridge and then grabbed a glass.

"Physically, yeah. Emotionally...not so much."

"Good enough to figure out your next steps?"

Luckily, you had finished pouring your cold brew and put the cap back on the container or else you knew you would have spilled it everywhere at that question. "What? I'm trying to figure it out, Jay!"

Jay put his hands out in front of him in a calm-down gesture. "I know. I'm not saying you aren't, but well, I have access to tech at the district that you don't have that might make looking for more schools easier."

"Okay...and?"

Jay muttered something under his breath about having to spell everything out for you all the time...which luckily you didn't hear. "Me, you, and Will are going to the district to do some research on grad schools."

You cocked one eyebrow. "You're trusting Will to use state resources?"

"No. God, no. He's there to research on his own laptop and then read over some of your essays...if we get that far."

You nodded. This was all just so overwhelming that despite how grateful you were for both your brothers' help, that was all you could do.

"Leave in an hour?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Just, give me time to shower and eat something."

And by something, you meant a piece of fruit and maybe a granola bar. Seeing how riddled with anxiety and frustration and whatever other shitty feelings you had been feeling the past two days since you got denied from the only two schools you had heard from so far, your stomach hadn't been feeling that great and your appetitive was half as much as it was before you got your results...if you had an appetite to begin with. You felt like that last complete meal you had eaten was the night you had gotten those results and Jay had dinner for you. For the past two days, you had mostly eaten what you felt like you could stomach without feeling nauseous, which was mainly smoothies, fruit, protein shakes, and snack foods. You knew your appetite would come back eventually and your nausea would go away eventually, but for now, it was here and you just had to deal with it...much like you had to deal with the fact that you had to do even more work to get into grad school than you had previously thought.

***

"I brought pizza!" Hailey announced when she got upstairs and into the bullpen. You, Will, and Jay had been researching grad schools for three hours. Jay had found two that still had deadlines open and didn't require the GRE, so you were working on writing essays to get into those.

After you finished the first one, you emailed the essay to Will and he edited it. You figured he'd be the best one to edit these essays because he'd had to write them to get into med school.

While Will was editing and making notes in the margins of your essay on google docs, you opened the links to the other schools that Jay had sent you. And, you had added two more to your list (making the total you would currently apply to four at the moment) when Hailey walked in with the pizza.

"Thank God," Will said and quickly closed his laptop. (You thanked God that you were working in google docs and that everything automatically saved so that his edits wouldn't be lost.)

"You're literally just editing," you said and rolled your eyes at how overdramatic your oldest brother was being. "I'm the one who has to look over the programs, make sure they're a good fit for me, and actually write them, and then I have to email--" you cut yourself off as your eyes widened in realization. "Oh, God."

"What? What's wrong?" Jay asked as he entered the break room with Hailey since he had been out in the bullpen because he was using one of Intelligence's desktops.

"I have to email my profs and ask them if they'll write me more letters of recommendation."

You hated doing this part because it meant that the application process wasn't entirely in your control. One of the letters of rec might not be emailed to the right email address or the application system wouldn't let you put in a certain recommender and then you'd have to contact the school and--

"Y/N." You hadn't even realized Hailey had crouched down in front of you. "You need a break."

"But I can't! I--"

"Y/N, some of those schools don't have deadlines until March or April. You can take half an hour to eat," Jay told you.

But you couldn't; your stomach was in knots just thinking about all the work you had to do.

"I'm not hungry."

Will looked you up and down. Of course, your physical appearance hadn't changed in two days obviously, but he knew how stress held itself in the body, in a person's posture; in their facial expressions. But most of all, he knew how much stress he had gone through during his med school application process and how some of his classmates could barely eat without throwing up because they had been so stressed out.

"Y/N, we know you're stressed out. But, you have to eat something. You can't write great statements of purpose that are gonna get you into a program without food in you, kiddo."

You sighed. "But I feel like I'm gonna throw up."

"It's just nerves," Will reassured. "We just want you to eat something."

You looked at Jay, hoping for once he'd side with you and not Will. "One piece of pizza," Jay said. "And then, if you still don't want to eat, you don't have to. I'll even go get you a Sprite from the vending machine downstairs to help settle your stomach."

"And, we can talk about Outer Banks," Hailey bargained. "Me and Jay just finished the new season."

"I thought you guys had four more episodes to watch!"

"Just finished it yesterday," Jay said.

"We spent half of our RDO watching that," Hailey said.

Will just looked between the three of you. "I'll go get her the pop because I have no idea what you guys are talking about."

"It's a show on Netflix! It's really good! These kids are treasure hunting and--"

"Eat your pizza, Y/N, and then maybe you can convince me to watch it," Will told you.

You took a bite of your pizza while maintaining eye contact with Will, which made Jay burst out laughing and then Will stood up to go get your pop while muttering something about you being a creeper under his breath.

"I need a John B," you said after your second bite of pepperoni pizza. "The way he held Sarah's hand all the way up the mountain, just—ugh! I love it. At first, I thought I needed a JJ because of how he broke into Kitty Hawk for Kiara, but he's a little too crazy for me."

"Uh-huh, sure, that's why you chose John B," Jay said while rolling his eyes.

"What's that supposed the mean?"

Jay grabbed a piece of pizza and took a bite without even bothering to grab a plate. This caused Hailey to gently smack him on the arm and push a paper plate into his empty hand. He took another bite and then set the pizza on the plate. "I'm just saying, don't you like brown-haired guys more?"

"They're called brunettes, Jay. And, yes. But, how the hell did you even notice that?"

"Think of all the celebrity crushes you've had over the years, Y/N."

Of course, Will had chosen that exact moment to walk back into the break room with your pop. "Oooh, we're telling Hailey all about Y/N being a crazy teenager. I love this game."

"Like you didn't have a stash of PlayBoy magazines under your bed, Will!" you shot back.

"Did you..." Will trailed off as he looked at Jay.

You burst out laughing. "He never told me anything. But you just confirmed it! Ha!"

"Y/N's first celebrity crush was Zac Efron!" Will shouted.

"Technically, it was Troy Bolton," you corrected.

Hailey just shook her head and laughed at your banter.

"And then there was Bieber—"

"No, she liked Nick Jonas before him, remember?" Jay corrected.

"Oh, yeah," Will said. "There was Nick Jonas, then Bieber, then a couple hockey players, then 5 Seconds of Summer—"

"Specifically Luke Hemings," you butted in.

Jay laughed. "You really have no shame in this do you?"

"None at all. Continue, Will."

"And...I think that's it."

"And John B, from Outer Banks," Jay said. "That's her current one."

"Is he even a real person?" Will asked.

"Nope. Now, Hailey, if you were in Outer Banks, what character would you be?" you asked and then opened your Sprite and took another bite of pizza.

She thought for a moment. "Probably Sarah. Our dads are both pretty messed up."

She said it jokingly but also matter-of-fact. Despite this, Jay still gave her a sad look but quickly recovered to his neutral facial expression. (He knew how much Hailey hated people pitying her due to her past.)

"What about you?" you asked Jay. "Wait! You have to be John B because you have to marry Sarah and you and Hailey are married."

Jay let out a chuckle. "I mean, I guess, I was gonna pick him anyway."

"Why?" you asked.

He shrugged. "He's the leader of the group. He thinks things through more than JJ. And, I'm not as smart as Pope. Will would be Pope."

"Is that a good thing?" Will chimed in.

"Yeah," you told him. "Watch the show and you'll find out."

Will just rolled his eyes.

"Who would you be, Y/N?" Hailey asked.

"Me? Oh, I'd die in the first season. I'm not the kind of person to do crazy illegal shit."

"Oh, c'mon!" Jay groaned. "You gotta pick someone!"

"Fine. I'd be Wheezy. I'd still be helping, but not in like an illegal way."

"Fair enough."

The three of you continued talking about Outer Banks as you finished another piece of pizza and a breadstick, making the total you'd eaten while you were talking two pieces of pizza and one breadstick and, seeing as you hadn't technically had a meal since you learned about your first rejection, only snacks, you considered this a win.

You pulled your laptop back out and groaned. You didn't want to keep having to write essay after essay, but you knew you needed to because that was the only going to get into a school. Despite this, you still had that nagging thought in the back of your head that all of this was for naught and you were just going to continue to get rejection emails from all the schools you worked so hard to apply to.

You rummaged through your backpack, pretending to look for your chapstick, which you knew was there. Then, you groaned and stood up and walked to where Jay was once again seated at his desk in the bullpen.

"Jay, can I have your keys? I think I left my chapstick in your truck," you lied.

Jay fished them out of his pocket. "Here, but be quick. It's dark out."

You rolled your eyes. "You know if all of this works out, I'll be in a different state in less than eight months, right?"

"Don't remind me."

You just rolled your eyes again and made your way downstairs and out the back way to Jay's truck.

You quickly unlocked it and jumped in the backseat. You just sat there as your head spun with worry, each worry connecting to another like a spider connecting pieces of a web in your mind.

Will I have to stay at my job another year or God forbid forever because there's not much I can do with a BA in psychology?

If I don't get into a program this year, will I apply next year? And, will my profs even write me letters of recommendation next year because they won't have had me in class for two years at that point?

If I have to do this for another year, should I take a couple of classes next year so that I have other professors to write me letters of recommendation and so that I can show the schools I'm applying to that I'm still learning about the field I'm going into?

When should I start looking into schools and the process of going to school in Europe if I don't hear back from all the programs I'm working on applying to soon?

What am I going to do with my life if I can't get into a program?

You jumped when someone gently tapped on the window. Then, you scooched over so that they could open the door and come inside the truck.

"Jesus, Will!" you exclaimed when he was inside and had shut the door. "Don't do that!"

"Sorry, I would've texted you, but you left your phone inside. You find your chapstick?"

"Um...about that..." you trailed off and looked away. You knew that if you started telling him your worries, you'd break down and you really didn't have time for that as you just needed a few minutes alone and then you needed to get back inside to work on the stupid essays for these stupid applications because these other stupid schools didn't want you because you needed a stupid doctorate degree for you stupid career to make stupid money and have a stupid life.

Will nodded, quickly understanding that there hadn't been a lost tube of chapstick to begin with. "You know, I didn't match for a residency at first," he told you.

You turned to face him, even though you could barely see him because it was the middle of the night. "Really?"

"Yeah, and it was terrifying."

"But you're a doctor. You have to do a residency to be a doctor."

"Mhm," Will confirmed. "I had to do the SOAP process."

"What's that?"

"It's where all the kids who finished med school who didn't match to a residency try and apply for the ones that people didn't want or are left over."

"So, you got everyone's shitty leftovers?"

Will smiled and shook his head. "Basically. I never wanted to go into plastic surgery. It seemed so..." he trailed off while he searched for a good word to describe it. "Vain," he finally said. "Don't get me wrong, there are some people who need it because of accidents and things like that, but giving rich men's wives nose jobs, that's not what I wanted."

"So, what you're telling me is to go into another specialty if it's open? Even if I don't like it," you asked. If this is what he was getting at, his pep talk wasn't a very good one."

"Sort of," Will answered. "But, there's a bit more to the story. I always wanted to go into emergency medicine, so when a job opened up at Med, I jumped at it. So, even if there's roadblocks, you'll get the career you want; you just have to be patient. You need to be a doctor in clinical psychology for your specialty, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, and there's a lot of things you can do with a doctorate in clinical psych, right? You don't have to go specifically into neuropsych?"

"Yeah, I'll be a clinical psychologist with the doctorate so there's other stuff I can do," you confirmed.

"Okay. Then you get into a clinical psych program and you go from there. And, if you can't do your fellowship or whatever it's called--"

"Post-doc," you told him.

"Right. If you can't do your post-doc in neuropsych, then you can do it in another specialty. Once you make some money, you can always go back and do another post-doc, this time in neuropsych, okay? This whole process doesn't have to be linear to work out. And, honestly, the application part and getting in is harder than the degree itself."

"Really?"

"Really. Now, Hailey put on a pot of coffee when I came out here, so c'mon. Let's go drink some more coffee and look at more grad schools. Jay found some options in Arizona because we know you want to go where it's warm."

"Perfect." Will opened the door to get out and you scooted over to get out of Jay's truck next. "And, Will?" He turned back to look at you. "Thank you."

He smiled and gave your shoulder a squeeze. "Anytime, kiddo."

***

"You have actual food tonight, right?" Jay asked two days later, Sunday night, when you grabbed your lunch box from the fridge to go to work. "Not just snacks?"

You rolled your eyes. "Yes, Jay." Ever since your brother noticed you weren't eating full meals, he'd been on your ass about it. But, yesterday you ate like a normal person and so far today you have, too. "Shouldn't you be finishing the game and going to bed?"

"It's at intermission. It's—"

"Don't tell me! I'll watch it at work."

"Pretty sure those sites you use to watch it are illegal, but whatever."

"Shouldn't you know for sure if they're illegal or not?"

"Well, you're not on the dark web and you're not selling anything and you're not the one uploading the games, so I'm pretty sure I can't arrest you."

"Well, that's a good thing because if I get arrested, then I can't get into grad school...not that I'm sure I'll get in now, though."

"Hey, we found what? Six programs for you to apply to? You'll get into one. But, you better get going before you're late."

"Says the man who rushes to work every morning."

"Really, it's Hailey who holds me up in the morning."

"No, it's not!" Hailey yelled from the living room. "He's the one who hogs the shower!"

"Gotta go!" you said quickly and grabbed your keys from the hook by the door before you got in the middle of their arguing.

***

About half an hour into your shift, you got a phone call asking you to come over to another building to talk to a coworker.

"I have to go talk to Tia," you told your two other coworkers.

"Tia? What does she want?" your coworker, and also one of the veteran staff at your work, Tamara, asked.

"No idea. I haven't been over to that building since the beginning of last week, so if I did something wrong, I forgot about it."

"Okay, well, see you later."

"See you," you said.

Then, you slipped on your coat and buzzed yourself out of the current building, and made the quick and chilly walk to the other building.

"Hey, where's Tia?" you asked when you walked in and saw another one of your coworkers.

"Oh, hey, Y/N," she greeted. "She's in the office."

"Okay, thanks."

You made your way into the office where Tia was sitting at the computer.

"Hey, Tia. You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah. What's your problem with my schedule?" she asked you rudely.

You didn't have a problem with her schedule per se, you just had a problem with there not being enough coverage with her schedule. And, since you worked at every building, you'd have nights when you worked here alone—which you shouldn't be doing, but management didn't care—because she worked long shifts for eight days straight, and then the other six, it would usually just be you or someone else working here alone and you had brought this up to your supervisor when he asked if you'd come across anything you wanted to fix.

"I- I don't have a problem with your schedule. It's just that sometimes there's only one person here and it gets hard in the mornings." Since you worked with kids, sometimes when you were by yourself, you'd have to get them out to the bus stop and that made it hard to do because you couldn't leave all the other kids in the building alone while you went to do that, so you'd have to call other buildings to see if they had a staff available to come help you. Contrary to popular belief, you couldn't be in two places at once.

"Yeah. And that happens to me sometimes, too. But we do it. And now because of what you said, my schedule might get changed—"

"That wasn't my intention, it was just—"

"Can I finish?" You nodded. "And now my schedule might get changed and this is the schedule that works for me. You only pick up here, so if you don't like it, don't pick up shifts here."

Tears began to prick your eyes. "I get scheduled here. I don't pick up." You took a deep breath. "My intention was just to figure out a way to get coverage, not to have your schedule get changed."

"Well, maybe you need to tell your supervisor that you don't want to be scheduled here anymore if you don't like the way we do things over here."

At this, the dam broke. You frantically wiped at your eyes. "I'm sorry. It's- It's not this. I just got rejected from grad school and it's just everything. Sorry."

At this, she softened. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Don't let anyone here make you cry, not even me. It's not worth it."

You nodded. "Yeah. Can I- can I go now?" You asked while trying to stop the tears from falling. You didn't feel like walking out of the office and having yet another one of your coworkers see you cry.

She nodded and you quickly wiped your eyes once more and walked out of the office, just willing your eyes to stay dry until you got outside.

You sniffled all the way until you got to one of the buildings the kids used for gym class during the day that you knew would be empty because they were all sleeping. You buzzed yourself in and then quickly made your way to the bathroom and locked yourself in a stall.

You leaned your head against the door. "Fuck," you muttered.

Everything about the past few days came flooding through you and you began to cry so hard that you could barely catch your breath. And, you weren't even an hour into your shift.

Your breath was coming out in short bursts as you pulled out your phone to text Tamara and tell her that you were in the gym bathrooms because you needed a minute and that you'd be back soon. Then, not caring that this was a bathroom, you slid down and leaned against the wall and pulled out a breathing app on your phone that you had for times like this. You hadn't had an anxiety attack or whatever the fuck this was that was prompting your frantic breathing in a year and a half, but you had kept the app because you knew you might need it one day. Today—well tonight—seemed to be that day.

You were focused on your breathing—breathe in through your nose, hold, breathe out through your mouth—for three minutes before your breathing returned to a semi-normal rate. Then, you continued the breathing exercise for two more minutes just to be safe.

When you closed the app, you saw that Tamara had texted you and asked if you were okay and if she needed to come over there. You told her you were on your way back to your building now.

Then, you pocketed your phone and splashed some water on your face, and dabbed it dry with some paper towel. Your eyes were still red, but at least you didn't have tear stains on your face. After taking one last deep breath, you left the bathroom and then the building and began your quick and cold walk back to the other building and the coworkers you actually enjoyed working with.

When you got back inside, you told your coworkers what had happened and then Tamara asked if you wanted a hug, which you gratefully accepted.

You knew a bigger breakdown over grad school rejection was going to happen eventually, you just didn't think it was going to happen at work.

And, if the first half of January was anything to go by, you were in for one hell of a month.

***

"Well, look who's finally awake," Will chirped when you walked into the kitchen after waking up for your day...which was everyone else's night.

"I went to bed at 10 am," you shot back. "And I don't like to talk to people when I first wake up, remember?"

"Oh, yeah, that's right. The one time of day when you're actually quiet."

You went to flip Will off when Jay quickly butted in. "Y/N, there's leftover pasta in the fridge for you to take to work."

"And there's loukoumades for you, too," Hailey added.

"Hailey's my favorite sibling!" you exclaimed and then began to make your coffee as you drowned out the noise of Will and Jay trying to argue about why they should be your favorite sibling...well, mostly Will because Jay knew Hailey was his better half by a long shot.

Once you made your coffee and a bowl of yogurt and fruit for breakfast, you made your way back upstairs to your room to read for a while before you started getting ready for work.

***

When you took a sip of your coffee, your lips puckered in disgust. It was way too bitter and...you had forgetter creamer.

"Ugh," you groaned and then stood up from your chair. You were so cozy with your robe and slippers on and a blanket covering your lap that you almost decided to forgo your coffee, but who were you kidding, you needed that caffeine.

You grabbed your mug of now lukewarm coffee and made your way out of your room. You started down the stairs as normal until your slipper caught the edge of one of the stairs.

***

Jay, Hailey, and Will were all still sitting at the table, each enjoying a cold beer when they heard a thump, thump, thump on the stairs above them.

Jay and Hailey's reflexes kicked in just a hair faster than Will's and they sprinted over to the steps to see you laying on the landing of the stairs with coffee spilled all over you and your head against the wall.

You swear you had never seen Jay run as fast as he did then. He cursed to himself as he bounded up the stairs two at a time and quickly crouched in front of you.

"Can you move your arm?" he asked. You hadn't noticed that your arm was placed between you and the wall. You lifted up your arm and nodded.

"My coffee," you cried.

"You can make more coffee, Y/N. Did you hit your head?"

You nodded tearfully and Jay looked back at Will. Your two brothers traded places and Jay picked up your empty coffee mug—thank God it hadn't broken—and then made his way downstairs to grab the first aid kit and some towels. Hailey followed him to give Will room to work if needed and made her way to the freezer to grab an ice pack.

"Where'd you hit it?" Will asked you and you leaned forward and put your fingers on the back of your head. Will nodded and you put your hand down and he felt around the area and looked for blood. "No blood, so that's good. There is a little bump, though. Any dizziness? Nausea?" You shook your head. "Okay, good. But, I'm still gonna have you stay home from work tonight because those symptoms can have a delayed onset, so I don't want to miss something and then have you have to be rushed to the hospital while at work. I'll write you a doctor's note if I have to."

You were about to protest because if you called out now since it was only three hours until your shift, you could get written up. But, you'd only used a single one of your sick days out of the five you had and they reset in April, so you figured you'd be fine if you explained the situation. "Fine," you agreed. "Can I go back to bed then?"

"Nope. I want you to stay up for a couple of hours. It's not good for you to go to sleep right after hitting your head even if you do feel fine. After that, you can sleep all you want. I just need to see if you puke or not."

"She good? No hospital?" Jay asked since he and Hailey had been waiting at the foot of the stairs with supplies.

"No hospital. Just stay home from work and ice her head. Doesn't look like the coffee was hot enough to burn her based on her skin and her not telling me, but if she says anything, give me a call."

"I'm right here you know!"

"Oh, we know," Will said. "But, you're still under Jay's health insurance."

You rolled your eyes and then held out a hand for Will to help you up. He did and you made your way back upstairs and to your room to quickly grab a different pair of pajamas and then head to the bathroom to take a shower to get all the coffee off of yourself.

Then, you made your way back downstairs—carefully this time—and saw that Hailey had made you a new cup of coffee and had a small plate of loukoumades sitting next to it.

"After you eat those, you need to ice your head," Hailey told you.

"Uh-huh."

"C'mon, the boys are getting the tv set up for us."

"What are we watching?"

"I may or may not have convinced them to put on Outer Banks since Will still hasn't started it."

You smiled. "Yay!"

Then, you picked up your coffee and plate of Greek donuts and made your way to the couch where Jay tried to steal one of your loukoumades, but Hailey quickly swatted his hand away.

"You already had yours. Now press play, Halstead."

***

"Y/N, hey, wake up," you heard as you felt someone shaking your shoulder. In your sleep-addled brain, it took you a moment to process that it was Jay waking you up. "Y/N, can you hear me?"

"Mhm," you answered. "Wanna sleep."

"You've slept for at least twelve hours."

This got you to roll over and check the time on your phone. 5:37 pm. You had slept for over twelve hours; Jay was right.

"What time did you go to bed?" You went to answer, but then Jay stopped you. "Wait, any dizziness? Nausea? Blurry vision? You feel like your head is going to explode?"

"I feel fine."

"Okay. So, what time did you end up going to bed?"

"I fell asleep on the couch until three, and then I woke up and went on Tik Tok until five and then I went back to sleep." You yawned. "I shouldn't be tired! What the hell?"

"Just, get up and get moving around and then you'll probably wake up more."

Then, Jay left your room, but not without turning your light on which then forced you to either get up or get up out of bed and turn off the light and go back to bed. You were already up anyway, so you figured you might as well have a slow morning before going into your shift, so you decided to just get up and go downstairs to get some food and coffee.

After making yourself breakfast and a cup of coffee, you went to the bathroom before heading back to your room and saw that you had gotten a surprise.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," you mumbled and then grabbed a tampon from the cabinet under the sink. You had just gotten your period two weeks ago, you weren't supposed to get it again! But, at least the panic attack made sense now.

You left the bathroom to once again be met with Jay.

"You didn't puke in there, did you?" he asked. "You were in there for a while."

"Jesus Christ, let me guess? Will put you up to this?"

"Yup. He told me to monitor you closely since you slept so long."

"But you still went to work today and left me by myself," you said. "And for your information, I got my period. So now I have a reason why I had a panic attack at work the other night and I'm not just crazy."

You went to grab your food from the counter but were stopped from going up to your room by your brother.

"Whoa, you had a panic attack at work? Why didn't you tell me? Or Hailey? Or Will?"

Shit. You had forgotten that you just went straight to bed after that shift and didn't tell anyone.

You sighed and sat down at the table with your food and coffee instead of going upstairs. "Because I was tired after work and I went right to bed and then I just forgot to tell you. I journaled about it though."

"That's good. Do you still want to talk about it?" he asked.

So, you launched into the story of your night of being chewed out by Tia and then having a panic attack in the bathroom.

"She had no right to talk to you like that, you know," Jay said once you were finally finished.

"I know. And she's on my shit list for it." You would've said she's on my fucking shit list for it, but you knew Jay hated when you dropped the f-bomb. A year ago, he would've hated you swearing in any capacity, but now you thought that he was finally coming to terms with the fact that you were a grown woman and would swear whether he liked it or not and whether he heard you or not.

"I knew the mental breakdown from all this school stuff was gonna come sooner or later, but I didn't think it was gonna happen at work."

Jay nodded; he honestly had no idea what to say at this moment. Did he agree? Comfort you? Finally, he settled on a mixture between comfort and encouragement while you focused on blowing on your coffee to make sure that it wasn't too hot.

"Hey, you'll get through this, alright? Just keep applying. You didn't work your ass off in school for nothing. And, it's their loss if they don't want you."

You smiled. Jay was oblivious to some things, but he always knew just what to say when you needed a pick me up.

"Thanks, Jay."

"Anytime, kid."

***

You were going to lose your damn mind. You had all this stuff to do and submit and one of the people who said that they'd write you letters of recommendation for your PhD programs said that they're really busy and they might not be able to get to the ones for the PsyD programs you were applying to. And Jay and Will heard all your bitching about this. How fucking hard was it for her to change the date and the name of the school on the letter and send it in? Unbelievable.

You couldn't think of anyone and you were running out of time to get these in.

"Fuck," you muttered.

You heard a knock on your door. "Y/N? You still up in there?"

Shit. You forgot it was Jay and Hailey's RDO today.

"Yeah, why?"

It was only half an hour past the normal time you'd be sleeping anyway.

"Me and Hailey are going out for breakfast. You wanna come? Or we can bring something back for you."

"Bring something back," you said quickly. You were not in a state to be out right now because you knew the minute that you saw lots of people, you were going to have a full-fledged breakdown.

"Okay, I'll send the menu so you can tell me what you want. Goodnight."

"Night," you answered.

***

"I'm just gonna go check on her," Jay said when Hailey asked him why he was walking towards your room instead of their room once they'd gotten home from going out for breakfast. The two had planned on having a lazy day of watching tv on the couch along with a few beers. And, instead of going to change into comfy clothes right away, Jay decided to take a peek into your room.

The sight he saw when he cracked open your door broke his heart.

You were pacing your room and pulling at the roots of your hair while your breathing came out in short bursts.

"Hey, hey," Jay said quickly as he opened the door wider and made his way into your room.

You turned around at the sound of his voice. "I- I—"

"Don't try and talk. Let's just sit down, okay?"

You nodded and he gently placed his hand on your shoulder and helped lead to your bed.

You both sat down and Jay offered you his hand for you to squeeze. You took it.

"Breathing app," you told him through your rapid breathing. "On—" Breath. "—Phone." Breath.

"Say cheese," Jay said as he put the phone in front of you, screen-facing, so that he could open it. "What's it called?"

"Ti-ide," you said and grabbed his arm.

"Tide?" You nodded. "I gotcha, I gotcha," he said and then sat down next to you and held the phone between the two of you. "In," he narrated as you watched the circle on the app expand. "Hold..." Pause. "Exhale." The circle deflated.

"It's not--"

"Just keep breathing," Jay encouraged. "Think of a bubble, just like on the app."

You continued to hold on to his arm and continued to follow the breathing on the app for six more minutes.

Jay handed your phone back to you after he saw your breathing had evened out and you confirmed you were okay.

"Is this what happened at work the other night?" he asked gently.

You nodded. "I think I need to go to the doctor. I can't keep living like this, Jay!"

"I know you can't. And I'll do everything in my power to help you. But, don't you mean therapy?"

"No, a doctor. My period's being all weird and my anxiety's bad and maybe I need to be on Xanax or something. I can't keep doing this!"

"I know. Do you know why this happened? For my PTSD, there's always a trigger, was there one for you?"

"Just all this grad school stuff."

"Still can't think of anyone else to write you a letter?" You shook your head. "Could you use your supervisor at work?"

"Probably," you answered. "Maybe I'll use my old one from when I was on dayshift though because I like her better."

"Okay, send her an email. The worst she can say is no."

"And then I'll have to think of another person--"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, just email her and then schedule a doctor's appointment. You should be able to do it online. And, me and Hailey got you some food so come out and grab it whenever you're ready. I'll put it in the fridge for you."

"Thanks, Jay."

He didn't know if you meant the help with the panic attack or the help with grad school or getting you food, but no matter which one you were thanking him for, the answer was still the same: "Anytime, kid."

***

"Okay, Y/N," Hannah said when you came to see her in the ED one day. (This was a planned appointment, but you knew she could possibly have to run out of the appointment if she is needed in the ED.) "So it says here in your online chart that you wanted to come in because of irregular periods and anxiety?"

"Yeah," you answered.

"And how long have your periods been irregular?"

"A month and a half, two months," you answered. "Around the time I started getting rejection letters for grad school."

"Yeah, Will's told me you've been applying. I bet that's really stressful."

"Yeah, it is. And now I have to apply to different degree programs because I didn't get into Ph.D. programs, so it's been a lot."

"Well, stress can play a big role in our cycle. So, what I'm gonna do is ask you some questions and then do the physical exam, see if there's anything I can find that could be causing this. I also want to run some labs just to check your blood work."

"Okay, but does it have to be fasted?" you asked. "Because I just came from work, so there's food in my system."

"I'd be concerned if there wasn't food in your system after working all night," Hannah joked. "But no, it doesn't have to be fasted. I mainly want to get your thyroid levels checked.

"Now, the anxiety, tell me about that. Is it more general? Is it panic attacks? When does the anxiety start? That kind of thing."

"Um, it's more general, I guess. I've only had two panic attacks, but I get like anxiety attacks when I see that there's gonna be a lot of people."

"A lot of people like what? Can you give me an example?"

"Like if I'm at the gym and there's a lot of people there, then I want to leave because I'm getting anxious."

"Okay, so in looking at your chart, I saw that you're on an antidepressant. So, based on what you just told me, there are two options. The first is that I can put you on hydroxyzine, which is an anti-anxiety medication that you can just take as needed. Or, I can increase your dosage of antidepressants and get you set up with one of our social workers here at the hospital who can teach you some coping skills or refer you to a therapist," Dr. Asher told you.

"Is there any way my body could constantly be PMS-ing? Because I used to get anxious around my period and now I'm having my period a lot more, so could that be it?" you asked.

"It definitely could be, which is why I want to have you get your labs done so we check your thyroid levels. But, if you don't want to do anything with your meds, we can always just have you meet with the social worker and see how that goes."

"What would you recommend? In terms of the hydroxyzine?" you asked.

"You've told me you've only had two panic attacks so far, so based on that, I think you could do either way with the medication. We could always increase your antidepressants and then when I follow up with you in a month, if nothing's changed, we can get you some hydroxyzine. It's completely up to you."

"Okay, let's just up my meds for now and if I need to go on the hydroxyzine later, I can."

"Okay, perfect, let me go get someone to get those labs done and then you're free to go."

"Thanks, Hannah."

***

3 days later

When you woke up, you saw that you had a voicemail and that it was from Hannah. You assumed it was regarding your labs.

"Hi, Y/N, it's Doctor Asher. I have some information I'd like to share with you concerning your test results from the blood panel that was done. These charts are also available in your online chart if you would like to see them. Please call me back when you get the chance. And if I don't answer your call, please leave a message with the best time that you can be reached. Have a good day."

You quickly logged into your chart to see the results yourself since you knew that your results would be there.

What you saw was something that you assumed might be the problem based on the research you had done on your own since you went to see Hannah a few days ago. (There was no way in hell you were talking to Will about this, and you had to beg and plead with Jay to convince him not to talk to Will about it. But, in the end, he agreed because you cited that he wouldn't be able to give you the check-up in the ED anyway since he was family, and by law, he couldn't do that. And, you also promised that if it was anything serious or if there was anything wrong at all, you would loop Will in yourself or that you would give Jay permission to loop him in.)

Your thyroid levels were slightly elevated, and in the notes, it said that during the physical exam, your thyroid did feel a bit enlarged. Because of this, Dr. Asher would recommend having an ultrasound of the thyroid...At least, that's what you gathered from all the medical jargon you read. And, because of said jargon, you assumed that this is why Hannah wanted you to call her back so that she could explain it to you.

You called her back.

"Hello, this is Dr. Asher," she greeted when she picked up.

"Hey, Hannah, it's Y/N Halstead. I'm calling because you told me you had my test results back."

"Yes, I do. Just give me one second to get it pulled up here..." There was a pause on the line and you could hear her typing away on the computer. "Here it is. Did you get a chance to look at your results from your online chart yet? If not, I can read the results to you over the phone."

"I looked at them," you told her.

"Okay, so what I'm going to do is just break down the results for you and then tell you the next step. Feel free to stop me at any time with any questions, okay, Y/N?"

"Okay, yeah."

She broke down the results for you and they were exactly what you had assumed from your online chart...and what was actually written in your online chart. But, you assumed that it was just standard protocol for her to have to break down the results to you over the phone or in person.

"So we just want to get an ultrasound of your thyroid to see if the thyroid is actually enlarged since your thyroid hormone levels were slightly elevated and your thyroid gland was slightly enlarged from what I gathered from the physical exam," Hannah finished.

"So, what happens now? Like, after the ultrasound?" you asked.

"If the thyroid isn't enlarged, then we just continue what we talked about, taking the increased dose of Zoloft and then meeting with the social worker and following up with me in a month about the anxiety and the irregular periods," she told you. "But, if the thyroid is enlarged, we'd put you on medication for that so that your levels can stabilize."

"Okay."

"Any more questions?"

"Nope," you answered.

"Alright, well, I'm gonna give you the number for scheduling so that we can get you scheduled for that ultrasound of the thyroid. But, feel free to call me or send me a message on your online chart if you have any other questions or concerns, okay?"

"Okay, thanks, Hannah."

"No problem, Y/N."

She gave you the number and told you to have a good day and then you said the same to her and ended the call.

You grabbed your book and started to walk upstairs to tell Jay when you thought of something: he might not even realize that you could get an ultrasound for other things besides being pregnant. Your other brother knew this, but you weren't sure if this one did.

These next few minutes were going to be really interesting.

***

At least, you thought it was going to be the next few minutes. Turns out, you had a few hours to talk to Jay because all he told you was a raid went sideways. Granted, it was mid-week, and for some reason, crime was slow during on Monday and Tuesday and ramped up a bit on Jay and Hailey's RDO, which was Wednesday, and they'd usually come back on Thursday to a full-fledged case. It was almost like criminals hated Mondays as much as the rest of the world did.

So, to calm your nerves about grad school and everything else that was a fucking mess in your life, you decided to make yourself—and Jay and Hailey—pasta salad with chicken for dinner.

You turned on one of the tv shows you had to catch up on and then started boiling the water for the pasta and took the veggies out of the fridge along with a cutting board from the cabinet and a knife from the knife block to start chopping up the veggies.

***

An hour later, you had let the chicken nuggets and the pasta cool in the fridge for half an hour and had just finished cutting up the chicken nuggets and were about to mix everything together when the door opened.

"Hey, I made pasta salad for dinner—" You turned. "Will? What are you doing here? I thought you were Jay or Hailey."

"Jay told me you had a doctor's appointment a couple days ago and I figured I'd come over and check you out, see what's the matter, and then start the Hawks game with you guys."

"And Jay knows you're coming over? Did he tell you to come over? Or just tell you I had a doctor's appointment?" you asked, stopping your stirring of the pasta salad so that you could give him your full attention...and to make sure you were making eye contact to try and figure out if he was lying to you or not.

"He just told me you had a doctor's appointment the other day and that he's worried about you. I told him I'd come and check you out, but that's all he told me." Will's phone buzzed. "Speak of the devil. It's Jay. Said he and Hailey are picking up Gino's on the way home." He glanced at the bowl in front of you. "But, it looks like you already made something, so..."

"I'll just save it for lunch for the next couple of days; I'm not passing up Gino's pizza." Will tapped his phone screen a few times. "What did you just tell him?" you asked and took the spoon from the pasta salad that you had begun to stir once again and pointed it at him.

"Just gave him a thumbs up. Now, tell me what's going on, and finish making your food so I can give you a check-up."

"Don't really wanna tell you," you mumbled.

"Hey, whatever it is, I promise you I've seen worse. Nothing will phase me. Unless you're pregnant. Then there might be some issues, more with Jay than with me, but still."

"It's the exact opposite of being pregnant."

"So, you're not pregnant?"

"No, I'm not pregnant, Will! Jesus."

"That's the same thing that Mary thought when she was pregnant with Jesus."

"Will!"

"Fine, fine. I won't push you. But, I can promise you that whatever it is, I've seen worse. Plus, If you don't tell me, I'll just convince Jay to tell me."

You sighed. Jay still didn't know that you needed an ultrasound for your thyroid, so maybe telling Will first would help so that Jay doesn't pop off on you when he hears the word ultrasound and his brain automatically goes to pregnancy.

"Just, let me stir this and cover it and put it in the fridge first."

Will nodded and sat down and you finished stirring the pesto into the pasta salad and then covered it with Saran Wrap and placed it on a shelf in the fridge.

Then, you sat down in your usual spot at the table.

"I've been getting my period a lot," you told him.

Will nodded, his eyebrows furrowing as you knew his brain was running through all the possible medical problems that have period issues as one of their symptoms. "How much is a lot? Like, constantly? And when did it start?"

So you went into the whole spiel you had already told Hannah, including the increased anxiety and what you and Hannah had decided to do about it.

"Does Jay know about this?" Will asked after you were finished.

"He knows about everything except the ultrasound. I just got those results a few hours ago."

"Do you have them on your online chart?" Will asked and you nodded. "Mind if I take a look?"

"Knock yourself out," you told him and then opened your phone and navigated to your test results on your online chart and then passed him your phone.

You sat in silence for a minute while Will looked over the results.

"So, you need an ultrasound of your thyroid?" he asked, even though he already knew that it was recommended from what he read on your chart, he didn't know if you had agreed to it.

"Yeah. I was gonna ask you to come with me though after I told Jay and Hailey tonight because I've never had an ultrasound done before," you said.

"Of course, I'll come. Just tell me the date and time and even if I'm working, I'm sure Maggie can cover for me after I explain what's going on. You want me to tell you what happens at an ultrasound?"

"I know what happens," you answered. "They put gel on me and then they put this wand thingy over top so that they can look at my insides."

Will stifled a laugh at how you described it, but he had to give it to you, you were right. "That's exactly what happens. Now, can I feel your neck so I can see if I can feel if your thyroid is enlarged?"

"On one condition." He cocked an eyebrow at you, silently urging you to continue. "You have to tell Jay that I'm getting an ultrasound because he'll flip out and think I'm pregnant if you say it."

"Deal."

***

"Anything from the doctor?" Jay asked as he put a slice of deep-dish pizza on your plate and then passed it to you.

"Which one?" you asked and looked at Will.

"I mean, did you tell him what's going on?"

"I did," you confirmed.

Now Jay's attention was wholly on Will. "So, what do you think is going on?" Jay asked Will.

"Well, I wasn't the one who examined her, but I did what I could here and read the results of her thyroid test."

"And what did they say?"

"I'm right here, guys!" you exclaimed, causing Hailey to laugh.

Jay turned to you. "Yeah, but you're not a doctor, so I want to hear it from someone who understands doctor language himself."

"Technically, it's medical terminology," you muttered and then began eating your pizza, curious as to how Will was going to reveal to your non-doctor brother that you were going to have an ultrasound and the reason for it was not because you were pregnant.

"She has to get an ultrasound," was what Will decided on.

"What?!" Jay exclaimed. "I thought you couldn't get your period when you're—"

"She's not pregnant, Jay! She needs an ultrasound of her thyroid," Will clarified.

Hailey was just laughing at how stupid her husband was while you just rolled your eyes. "I could've done that," you told Will.

"And I should've taken a video! That was priceless!" Hailey chimed in.

"And she needs an ultrasound because...?" Jay prompted Will.

And so Will launched into the details that he was better fit to explain than you were while you just ate your pizza.

"And you'll come to the ultrasound with me?" you asked Will once again, just to double-check. "I've never had one done before and what if something's really wrong with me?"

"First off, the worst case scenario is that you have to go on a medication for your thyroid," Will began. "And, yes, I'll go with you. Just tell me the time and date and I'll come and wait with you. I don't think I can go in, since the rooms are pretty small in radiology and you're not a minor, but I'll be in the waiting area the whole time."

"You promise?"

"I promise. And if it's a day I'm working, I'm sure Maggie could cover for me," he repeated.

"Okay."

"So, how's the applications coming?" Will asked.

You groaned. "Ugh, don't remind me. I've submitted all of them except I just have to resend my transcripts to one of them in Arizona because I sent it to the wrong email address."

"How do you send it to the wrong email address?" Jay asked.

"He wouldn't know because he didn't go to college," Will fake whispered to his sister-in-law who was sitting next to him. Jay just rolled his eyes.

"I sent it to the psych department, not the graduate admissions committee," you answered.

Jay nodded. "Any word from the school in Hawaii yet?"

"Nope. You'd know if there was."

"You just want to go to Hawaii, babe," Hailey said.

"Yeah, and? Beats winters in Chicago."

"And it's super expensive, so hopefully I'll get assistantships or scholarships," you said.

"What about the one in Chicago, Y/N?" Hailey asked. "I know that's bottom of your list because it's cold and because Jay would pressure you to stay at home—"

"I would not!"

"Yes, you would!" you, Will, and Hailey yelled, causing Jay's eyes to widen.

"Uh, that was freaky. How about you guys never do that again, okay?" Jay said. "I thought it was the beginning of February; not Halloween."

"Hailey, I don't know what you see in him," you told her, causing Jay's jaw to drop.

"Hey! For your information—"

"I didn't hear back from anyone yet," you said loudly, cutting Jay off before he said something that would discreetly hint at his sex life with Hailey. "And when I do, I'll tell you guys. Now, can we finish eating and watch the game? I really don't want to have to think about this more than I have to."

Hailey nodded in understanding, since she too suffered from anxiety and then she proceeded to tell the story of the antics that Adam and Kevin had been up to today in the bullpen while everyone had been listening to the wire for their latest case (which they now had a lead on and would be picking up tomorrow, hence Jay and Hailey getting home later than usual).

***

One week later

"So, Y/N, tell me about what's going on," the social worker, Marsha, asked you at 12:45 pm that afternoon as you sat in her office for your scheduled appointment on your day off (as in, you hadn't had to work the night before, but had to work tonight. Even Jay got confused with your schedule sometimes. Will, on the other hand, understood since he had worked many a night shift during his residency).

And so, you launched into the story about grad school and anxiety.

"So, I can definitely refer you to a therapist if you would like that," Marsha said. "Or, I can work with you and teach you skills to manage your anxiety."

You'd always had some anxiety, it had just increased in recent weeks because of the rejections you'd gotten and all the added stress of trying to find another program that still had open applications.

"I think I want to learn some skills," you answered. "Seems like this is just gonna be something I have to live with."

"Ok, so I want to tell you about anxiety and why it happens and how it's sometimes a good thing and then we can move on to some skills you've tried..."

***

"And I'm gonna give you some homework this week," Marsha said at the end of your session. She passed you a piece of paper. "All I want you to do is notice when you have anxiety and what the physical symptoms are. You don't have to write them on this piece of paper; it's just a list of possible physical symptoms and the anxiety pyramid that we talked about if you want to reference them if you want. All I want you to do is notice when your anxiety flares up. Then, we can figure out what to do in these types of situations."

"Okay, sounds good," you told her.

Then, she stood up and you followed her out of her office and back into the waiting room. "You know your way out from here?" she asked.

"Yup," you answered.

When in reality, you didn't. But, Will said he'd meet you outside the waiting room doors at 1:50 to go with you to your ultrasound appointment in the radiology wing, and it was currently 1:55.

"You're not in your scrubs," you said when you saw him right when you opened the doors to the hallway.

"Nope. Ms. Goodwin gave me a half day today, so we can get lunch after if you want."

"As long as we can get coffee for me to bring to work, sure." You noticed his backpack. "Can you put these in here?" you asked, holding the two pieces of paper out to him. "I only brought my lanyard with all my keys and stuff."

"Yup." He took the papers from you and put down his backpack and put the papers inside. "You ready?"

"Yeah. You promise it won't hurt?" you asked, slightly nervous.

"I promise. It might just feel a little cold at first."

***

"See? I told you it wouldn't be so bad," Will said once you were out of the ultrasound.

"Yeah. But I won't know the results for a few days so can you—"

"I'm not gonna look at your chart and tell you the results," Will stated as you exited the waiting room.

"But why not? I give you full permission so it's not against HIPAA."

"Technically, it is because I can't just go in there and look at a family member's chart. That, and I'm not a radiologist. When they send you the results, I can look them over if you let me see them. But, before then, I can't. And, I'd trust a radiologist's opinion on this more than mine."

"Fine. Now, how about IHOP for lunch?"

"Already a step ahead of you. It'll be ready for pickup in ten minutes."

"And you got me the pancakes I like?" you asked and narrowed your eyes at him.

"Yes, I got you the cinnamon roll ones."

You broke out into a smile. "You're my favorite brother...just don't tell Jay that. He thinks he's the favorite."

***

One week later, late February

You got your results back. After skimming them, you figured you'd understood them, but wanted to call Will just in case. And he confirmed it. There was nothing wrong with your thyroid.

"So it's all in my head?" you asked. "My body hates me because I'm stressed? God, I can't even do basic human functions right."

"Y/N, what did I tell you? It's normal to be stressed out like this. It's a big thing," Will said over the phone.

"Don't you think I know that?! This is my whole career here! My whole life!" You took a deep breath. "Sorry. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that."

"It's okay," he said. "You're super stressed out. But, you'll get in somewhere."

"Yeah, that's what everyone keeps saying." Then, your phone vibrated. "Hang on. That might be a school."

"They're calling you? That's a good sign, Y/N."

"They're not calling me; I put their emails as important so it'll notify me. I'm putting you on speaker while I read this."

You quickly put Will on speaker and then navigated to your emails. "It's the one in Hawaii," you told him. You held your breath as you opened the email. You skimmed it. And you stayed silent.

"What? What's it say?"

"I didn't get in," you said quietly.

"Aw, man. I'm sorry, kiddo. But, you still have five more to hear back from."

"Yeah. I just...I really wanted to go to school in Hawaii," you lamented. "I know it was a long shot to get in because I missed their priority deadline because I was still waiting on my Ph.D. application results, but still."

"Hey, look at it this way," Will began, "when you're making bank as a world-renowned neuropsychologist, you'll have more than enough money to vacation there a few times a year. Just make sure you don't forget to bring your favorite brother with you."

You rolled your eyes. "I dunno about world-renowned."

"Fine. USA-renowned."

"Goodbye, Will," you laughed.

"Bye, kiddo. Have a good night at work. Maybe drink a glass of wine before going to work. Just... don't tell Jay I said that. You've got what, seven hours before your shift?"

"That's actually a good idea. I'll swipe some of Hailey's pink Moscato. She's fine with it. She barely drinks it anyway."

"Alright, just one glass," Will reiterated.

"Bye, Will."

***

Two weeks later, early March

You woke up and checked the time. 2 pm. You still had two hours to sleep until your alarm went off. But, as was customary for the past two months, you navigated to your emails.

There, at the top, was one from Southern Arizona University.

You felt like you couldn't breathe as you opened the email.

Hello,

We have reviewed your application, evaluated your credentials and letters of recommendation, and would like to invite you to interview in person for the Doctoral program (Psy. D.) in Clinical Psychology at the SAU campus.

Your jaw dropped as you continued reading the finer details such as the date, time, location, and how to RSVP.

Today was Wednesday, Jay and Hailey's RDO.

You ran out of your room.

"Jay! Jay! Jay!" you yelled.

He immediately woke up from where he had been dozing off on the couch with Hailey next to him who had been wide awake. She grabbed her phone while he jumped up.

"What? What's wrong? What hurts?" he asked as he quickly looked you over.

"No, no nothing's wrong! I got an interview with Southern Arizona! It's in person in two weeks!"

"That's great, Y/N!" Hailey said at the same time that Jay said, "See? I told you that you'd get in somewhere!"

"I didn't get in yet, Jay," you told him.

"I know, but you're still one step closer."

You pulled out your phone. "I know Will's working, but I gotta text him and tell him!"

Hailey groaned as she looked at her phone's calendar. "Shit, Jay. We have that mandatory training that week for our detective's recertification."

Jay threw his head back and groaned. "It's not even that important. Voight and Platt will let us out of it."

"You know this isn't their call. It's the Ivory Tower that schedules this one. And it's the last one of the quarter. We don't go to this one..."

"We can't work until mid-April at the earliest. We'll be suspended," Jay finished.

"Exactly."

"Will can come with me," you said. "I can't just not go and I'm not going to Arizona by myself."

"Yeah, even if Will has to work, we'd find someone to bring you," Jay said. "Maybe Kim as a backup. No way in hell are you going to Arizona by yourself, you're damn right about that."

"Listen, we'll figure out the logistics of everything later," Hailey said. "For now, you just go back to bed so you're not too tired at work and then focus on being prepared for your interview. Just forward the email to me and Jay so we have the right place and date and time and we'll get everything figured out, okay?"

You smiled. "Okay."

"Now go back to sleep. You're going to Arizona for that interview no matter what," she reassured you.

"And, you're gonna do great," Jay added.

"I haven't even prepped for this yet."

"Still, I know you," Jay started. "You're gonna practice and know everything and then you'll do great. Now try and get some sleep before you have to go in tonight."

You nodded and turned around, still with a giant smile plastered on your face.

***

Five days later, Monday

You rolled over and checked the time. Fifteen minutes until you planned to get up, so you knew you wouldn't be able to go back to sleep no matter how hard you tried.

You immediately navigated to your emails as you had done for the past two months.

There, at the top, was one from Kansas City Health College and University in Missouri.

Hi, Y/N!

We have reviewed your application, and the committee is interested in offering you an opportunity to interview. Are you available this week or next?

Your jaw dropped and you broke out into a smile.

Another school wanted you! You might have options now!

You knew Hailey and Jay were unlikely to be home right now, so you went to your text messages and opened the group chat between you, Jay, Hailey, and Will.

I got an interview for Kansas City! you wrote.

Not even fifteen seconds later, your phone rang.

"Did you get my text?" you asked when you answered Will's phone call.

"I did," Will confirmed. "Good job! But, is the interview in-person?"

"I don't know," you answered. "I'll email them."

"Okay, just let me know. They approved my PTO request to come to Arizona with you in a couple weeks, but I don't know if I can swing another vacation. Jay or Hailey might have to go with you to this one."

"Okay, and it's an eight-hour drive from here, so we don't have to fly there if the interview is in-person."

"It seems short now, but it won't feel that way when you're driving for that long."

You rolled your eyes. "Uh-huh. Did you look up flight tickets for Arizona yet?"

"That's what I was doing before I called you. Is it your weekend off before the interview or after the interview?"

"Before the interview," you told him.

"Okay. I work a shift on Saturday, so the earliest we could fly out is Sunday morning. Then we have all day Monday to look at Pheonix and apartments and stuff and Tuesday you have to interview and we could fly home Wednesday or Thursday. How long did you take off for?"

"I have to go back into work that Thursday night."

"Okay, so we'll fly back Wednesday night, then you can sleep all day Thursday because my next shift is on Friday."

"Okay. And, I can stay at your house the night before if it's an early flight, right? I am not driving to your house at 3 am. Or you can sleep on the couch here."

"If it's early, it's probably better that you stay over here because I won't get home from work until 8:30 and then I'll probably have last-minute stuff to do. You know how it is."

"Yeah."

"Okay, well I'm gonna go so you email them and I can keep looking up flights. I'll let you know everything when I figure it all out."

"Sounds good."

Then, the two of you said your goodbyes and you emailed the school and responded to Jay and Hailey's congratulations texts.

Even if it was only two interviews out of the eleven schools total you had applied to so far, you were getting somewhere.

***

Four days later, Friday, day of virtual Kansas City interview

You opened the fridge and grabbed a hard seltzer just when you heard someone clearing their throat. You turned around with a sheepish expression on your face to see Jay standing there.

"So, we're drinking at 7:30 in the morning now, are we?" he asked.

"Your 7:30 in the morning is my 7:30 at night," you told him. "And, I have my interview later. Need something to calm my nerves before I go to bed."

"You've practiced more than enough; you'll do great. You don't need alcohol to calm your nerves."

He was right of course, on both fronts, but you weren't going to tell him that. You had researched questions you might be asked during your interview and then wrote down your answers and quizzed yourself multiple times until you were confident that you knew everything. You even had your coworkers quiz you on them last night and had Jay quiz you on them Wednesday night so that you knew for a fact that you knew everything. There were obviously questions that could come up that you weren't prepared for, but you had prepared for it as best you could with the information you currently had.

"I know," you begrudgingly agreed. "But still, let me do this. It's not like you haven't drank to calm your nerves before."

"She's got a point, Jay," Hailey said, seemingly appearing out of nowhere and maneuvering around Jay to get to the counter and begin making herself a cup of coffee.

"Why are you always on her side?" he asked.

"Technically, I'm not taking sides, just stating a fact. Let her have the drink. It's not like she's gonna get drunk. She's too smart to get drunk hours before her interview anyway."

"Thanks, Hailey," you said and then walked past Jay, who made no move to argue with you.

"Just, remember to put the can in the recycling when you wake up. And good luck with the interview later. Don't miss your alarm," he told you.

"I won't. I set one for like every minute from when I need to wake up to ten minutes after," you reassured.

And, when you made your way to your room, you could've sworn you heard Jay whsiper something along the lines of You're gonna be the death of me? You know that, right? to Hailey.

***

You felt like the interview went well. There were only two questions you hadn't practiced answering: (1) tell me about working with people from diverse backgrounds and (2) tell me about a time you had too much on your plate. How did you go about handling that?

Not to toot your own horn, but you felt like you gave pretty good answers to those questions despite being under pressure and not having practiced those beforehand.

Now though, it was time to calm down and try to go back to sleep for a few more hours before work. You had only gotten five hours of sleep before the interview and wanted to get at least another three before having to wake up again, do your morning routine, and go back to work.

So, now you needed to calm down and fall asleep without taking melatonin. So, you decided to go take a nice hot shower.

You didn't take long, only about fifteen minutes, and the minute you went and sat down in your bed to read to try and get your adrenaline to go down a bit more, your phone rang.

Will.

"Hey," you answered.

"So, how'd it go?" he asked. Honestly, he seemed more excited to talk about this than you did.

It was at this moment that you actually grasped how well you might have actually done during the interview phase.

"It actually went really well! There were only two questions I didn't know the answer to."

And then, you talked to Will about what the questions were and the answers you gave so that you could be prepared for your interview with SAU in a little under two weeks.

"Well, I'm gonna let you go so you can get some sleep, okay?" he said.

"Yeah. Hopefully reading for a bit will make me tired. I already took a hot shower to calm down, and it's calmed me just a little bit."

"It's the nerves," Will began. "You've been trying to get to this point for so long and all your adrenaline just hit you. You'll crash soon and sleep hard, though. Go, I dunno, make some tea to drink while you read or something," he suggested.

"That's actually a good idea. Thanks, Will."

"Anytime, kiddo. Now try and get some sleep. Make sure to text Jay and Hailey that the interview went well too because they probably want to know even if they're out chasing criminals all over the place."

"Doubt they could get to their phone to see the text if they're chasing people," you pointed out.

"You know what I mean. Now get some sleep."

***

5 days later, Wednesday

You woke up to someone gently touching your shoulder and saying your name.

"Y/N, you okay?"

Jay.

You grumbled, "Mhm. Why?"

"It's ten o'clock at night," he answered.

You rolled over and touched your phone, causing the screen to illuminate. Lo and behold, Jay was right. 10:02 pm.

You had worked six days straight since it had been your weekend on, and normally after these long stretches, you did sleep like ten hours, but you had never slept twelve. Granted, you did go to bed at around 10 am instead of your usual 8:30 because you had a doctor's appointment to follow up on your irregular periods (which were getting back to normal finally) and then you woke up around 1 pm for about an hour, but still, it was weird that you had slept this long.

"Guess I was just tired," you said. "I'll get up soon."

"Don't sleep all night. That's gonna mess you up for your shift tomorrow night."

"I know, Jay. I've been on nights for eight months now; I think I know what I'm doing."

"Okay, well, there's dinner in the fridge if you want some."

"Thanks."

Then, he left your room and you turned on your bedside lamp and sat up in bed, and opened your phone.

As was normal for you now, you navigated to your emails to see if you had heard back from any schools.

A few emails down was one that made your breath catch in your throat and your hands begin to shake.

From: Kansas City Health College and University

Subject line: Update KCHCU Admissions

You opened it and there was what looked to be a scanned document with the school's logo on top and the very first word was bolded and in cursive.

Congratulations!

Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped. You felt your heart beating out of your chest.

We are pleased to inform you that you have been admitted *with a Conditional Acceptance* to our program of: Doctor of Clinical Psychology (PsyD) for the Academic Year 2023-2024.

We hope this is one of many achievements in your professional career as a result of your continuous efforts.

*Please be aware that this is not your official acceptance notification. Official acceptance letters will be sent out upon completion of the required documents. Please fill out the attached documents as soon as possible.*

Sincerely,

The Admissions Office at Kansas City Health College and University.

A huge smile formed on your face as you shot out of bed and ran to Jay and Hailey's bedroom.

You quickly knocked on the door. "Nobody better be naked in there because I'm coming in!"

Without waiting for a reply, you opened the door. And, luckily, the only piece of clothing Jay was missing was a shirt (and you could see this because he had quickly sat up in bed and turned on his bedside lamp just as you opened the door).

"Some of us have to work in the morning, you know," Jay said.

At this, Hailey walked out of the bathroom, clad in her pajama bottoms and a t-shirt with her hair wrapped in a towel.

"You probably laid down two seconds before she knocked on the door," Hailey said.

"Technically, it was ten seconds," Jay sassed.

"Yeah, yeah," you said dismissively. "But I checked my emails and I got into Kansas City!" you exclaimed.

Hailey gasped. "Yay! Congratulations!" Then she made her way over to you and gave you a hug.

"See, I told you you could do it," Jay said and stood up and hugged you, too. "But, your first pick is still Arizona, right?"

"Yup," you told him. "But at least I have a backup school now if I don't get into SAU."

"So, what do you have to do now?"

"Fill out some documents." You passed him your phone. "Here's the email."

Jay told you to make sure you send in the documents by the deadline, which caused you to roll your eyes.

"Don't you have to pay something to secure your spot?" he asked.

"I think so," you said. "But it shouldn't be a ton, so if I get into SAU and have to tell them I decided to go to another school, I shouldn't be losing out on too much."

"Okay, good. See, I told you you'd get in somewhere."

"And I still have another interview."

"And you better text Will before he gets mad he had to hear it from one of us," Hailey pointed out.

"Oh, yeah," Jay agreed. "You better do that."

"I'll do that right now. Get some sleep, you guys."

"Night, Y/N, I'm so proud of you," Hailey said and gave you another hug.

"Night, kid," Jay said and gave you another hug as well.

Then, you made your way out of their room and into the kitchen to make yourself some food and coffee. As you were waiting for your coffee to finish brewing though, you made sure to text Will to let him know that you had at least gotten into one school, even if you considered it your backup school.

***

4 days later, Sunday

Your alarm sounded at 3:30 am and you silently cursed Will for wanting to get out on the first flight available. You rolled over and groaned into your pillow, but then quickly decided to get up because you knew if you kept laying down, you'd fall back to sleep and then Will would have to wake you up and you'd have to rush or you'd end up missing your flight altogether.

You heard the shower running as you grabbed your overnight oats from the fridge and then popped a pod into the Keurig.

Ten minutes later, you were rubbing your eyes and trying to stay awake while finishing your coffee when Will came into the kitchen.

"Morning," he greeted.

You groaned in response, looked up, and took another sip of your coffee. "I only slept five hours."

"And, I only slept three."

"That's not healthy for you."

"Neither is five."

You glared at him and he just smiled.

"Do you have Dramamine?" you asked.

"In my backpack. You should probably take it when we get to the airport, though."

"As long as I can get more coffee at the airport."

"You and me both," Will agreed.

***

You were not happy, let's just put it that way. There were so many people at Midway (since Jay wasn't flying with you, you and Will could fly out of Midway. Jay basically had a phobia of this airport now because he was abducted from here years ago) even though it was a 6 am flight on Sunday, that you and Will couldn't get more coffee.

"I'm gonna go find a vending machine," you said. "Can I have your card?" you asked.

You had time before you needed to board your flight and by finding a vending machine, you wouldn't have to waste time waiting in line. And, Will had told you to only bring your ID and some cash because he didn't want your debit or credit card getting stolen.

So, you went and found a vending machine and got yourself a Starbucks bottled frappuccino, and grabbed Will a boring plain latte.

"Here you go," you said and handed the coffee and his credit card to him.

"I didn't ask you to get me anything."

"Well, one it's your money, and two, don't take this the wrong way, but you look like shit."

Will rolled his eyes. "Thanks. I'm so glad I'm spending money to put up with you for a couple of days."

"Nah, you love me...at least, I'm your favorite sibling out of me and Jay."

"That's debatable. But you getting me this definitely earned a couple of points in that category."

Your phone buzzed. "It's Jay," you said after reading the text. "He said to have a good flight." Why your other brother was up at 5 am on a Sunday baffled you, but you figured it had something to do with his need for a consistent schedule and structure from his army days.

"He text it to the group chat?" Will asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I have my phone on silent and if he only texted you that, then I'd be offended."

"That would mean that I'm his favorite sibling then," you pointed out. "I'm both your favorite siblings."

"Oh, you're the favorite something alright," Will muttered under his breath. Then, he remembered something. He quickly unzipped a pocket in his backpack and handed you the packet of Dramamine. "You should probably take this now."

"And this is why you're the doctor because I probably would've forgotten."

Will just shook his head. "I know. And then you'd be miserable for the entire flight, which would make me miserable and it just wouldn't be a good time."

You just took the pill in response and handed the package back to him. "I get the window seat," you told him.

"I already planned on it," Will answered.

And fifteen minutes later, you were in line to board.

***

After waiting in line for an hour to get your rental car, you were finally out of the airport in Pheonix. Because of the time difference between Pheonix and Chicago, you got into Pheonix around 8 am, and it was currently a little past 9 am. And needless to say, you and Will were hungry.

"You sure you're good to drive?" you asked. "They said I could drive it, just that I can't be the main renter."

It shocked you that you could actually drive a rental car since you weren't 25 yet, which is the age that you could legally rent a car. But, turns out, you could be a driver, just not the one who was the primary renter.

"I was there, I know," Will said. "And, I'm good to drive. I've worked lots of 24-hour shifts running on little sleep, so I'll be fine."

"Okay. But if you need to switch drivers, let me know."

"I will. Now, what sounds good to eat?"

"I say IHOP."

"Pancakes and a pot of coffee it is then," Will agreed.

You put in the address for the nearest IHOP and made your way there.

And when you were at the restaurant, Will may or may not have taken a picture of you devouring your pancakes and sent it to the group chat that only contained him, Jay, and Hailey.

***

The next day, Monday

"I say we leave Jay home more often," you said when you woke up the next morning around 8.

Jay was always the one who was go, go, go while on vacation like he couldn't relax. He'd have had you running around Pheonix until midnight if he were here and he more than likely would've woke up at 6 to workout and then made a ton of noise rummaging around for his suitcase that he would've woken everyone else up in the hotel room, too.

"I would ask you if you slept well because you said that," Will began, "but I know you did because you were snoring. I should've smothered you with the pillow."

"I'm telling Jay if I come up dead in here that it was you," you said.

"And I'm telling him that you don't want him to come on vacation because he wakes you up early."

"He knows that! It's common knowledge!"

Will rolled his eyes. "Hurry up and get ready or do whatever you need to do so that we can go get some breakfast downstairs before all the good stuff's gone."

"Can we get coffee somewhere later? I looked up some coffee shops near here."

"Let's just get breakfast first and then we'll go from there."

***

The morning was spent looking at possible apartments, going to a bookshop that doubled as a coffeeshop (and buying a new book of course), and then going out for Mexican food for an early lunch (which had the best salsa you had ever tasted).

Then, you went back to the hotel and got ready to go to the pool.

"You can go down without me," Will said.

"You're not coming?" you asked.

"I gotta make a phone call. Work stuff," Will lied.

"Okay, see you down there," you said and grabbed a room key, and left to go to the pool.

Two minutes later, when Will was positive you were at least off the floor you were staying in, if not out to the pool by now, he pulled out his phone and dialed Jay's number.

"Everything okay?" Jay asked the minute he picked up.

"Yes, everything's okay."

"Well, if you're only calling me to brag about the chips and salsa you got, then it's in your best interest to hang up now." You had been sending pictures to the group chat between you, your brothers, and Hailey, and needless to say, Jay was jealous.

"Okay, fine," Will relented. "Everything's not okay. I don't know if I want Y/N staying here."

Now, Will had Jay's full attention. "Bad neighborhoods? What's it like? I can try and look into stuff for you, but I don't have jurisdiction there, so it might be hard to do."

"Dude, it's like Chicago, but it changes a bit faster here. You have wealthy people on one side of the street and then poverty on the other. The building her school is in is just down the street from a homeless encampment. And, she's a girl living by herself. I dunno about her living her, man."

"Well, all the schools she's applied to are in big cities, so she's gonna get that anywhere."

"I know, I know. It's just, the shit we see every day..."

"I get it," Jay agreed. "How did she react to the apartments? And the school?"

"Well, her face dropped when we saw the school. It was like in an industrial area and it's just a building. And, the apartments, the one she likes and the one she said would probably be safest would run her like $1800 a month just for the apartment, not including utilities, groceries, etc."

Jay whistled on the other end. "Shit. But, it's like that everywhere."

"I know. If she goes here, you're gonna need to fly out here and look at apartments with her because you might be able to figure some more stuff out."

"Yeah, if she gets in me and her will take some time to look at apartments out there. Maybe bring Hailey, too."

"Okay, good. And, I'm willing to pay a little bit of her rent if it means she'll be safe."

"Me too," Jay agreed. Then, he remembered something. "Hey, I think one of my old army buddies does construction for apartments out there. I'll see if he can give you some places to check out that he thinks are safer and text you if he tells me anything."

"That would be great, Jay. How's the training going?"

"Let's not talk about that when me and Hailey are on our lunch break, okay? It's a pain in the ass but I have to do it."

"Alright then. I'll let you wallow in your own pity while me and Y/N go chill at the pool. Bye, Jay."

"You're an ass," Jay laughed. "But have a good night. I'll text Y/N tomorrow before her interview and I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. I want to know how it goes." Will heard someone's voice on the other line, he assumed it was Hailey. "And Hailey wants to know how it goes, too." (Will was right.)

"I'll make sure to tell her. Have a good night you two."

Then, Will ended the call and changed, and headed down to the pool where you were soaking up the sun while reading a book on your iPad.

"Hey," Will said after he sat down next to you. "I talked to Jay. He's got an old army buddy that does apartment work around here. He's gonna talk to him and see if he can give us some apartments to look at."

"Okay, good," you said and then paused your reading timer. For the first ten minutes you were down here, you had began making a pros and cons list on your iPad. "Kansas City's looking pretty good after looking at rent prices and the cost of living over here."

"So, you're leaning towards Kansas City then?" Will asked. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't surprised. SAU had been your first choice since you had gotten the email saying that they wanted you to come for an interview.

You passed him your iPad. "You can look at my pros and cons list."

He took a minute to read it and then handed it back to you. "Kansas City has a study abroad program? You never told me that."

"Because I don't know if I'll be going or not. They have a campus in Spain and they saw that I minored in Spanish, so they said that if that's something I want to do, that it's an option. And, I had to miss my study abroad because of covid. It all depends on if I feel comfortable taking all my classes in Spanish though and how it will work out with my classes and my practicum schedule."

"That's great, Y/N! If you go to Kansas City, you should definitely look into it. And, I'm sure some of the students speak English and would be more than willing to help you if you needed it. The profs probably speak English too."

"I know. It's just, learning about the brain and psychology in my second language after not having learned much in undergrad even though I have my minor in it, is a little scary."

"Then you don't have to go. But, you have the option at least if you go to Kansas City. And, Kansas City doesn't have assistantships?" Will asked.

Assistantships are where a student does some kind of work for the university and, depending on how many hours you work, half or all of your tuition is paid for by the university and they'll give you a living stipend.

"No. But, SAU does. I just don't know if the assistantships are for the campus I'm going to or the main campus. It's more expensive here and if I don't get an assistantship, I don't know how I'm gonna be able to afford rent," you told him.

"What's the tuition cost for the programs?" Will asked.

"About the same," you answered.

"So, Kansas City: Spain, no assistantships, lower cost of living. And SAU: no Spain, possible assistantships, higher cost of living?" Will asked.

"Yeah," you answered. "Them having assistantships at that campus is gonna play a big part in if I go to school here or not."

"Let's just focus on the interview for now and make sure to ask them about that tomorrow. You got into one school for sure. Just focus on what you can control tomorrow and then decide. Okay?"

"Okay," you answered.

"I know it's hard to do right now, but just relax. Everything will work itself out eventually."

***

Tuesday, day of SAU interview

"You're gonna do great," Will reassured as you bobbed your leg up and down on the twenty-minute car ride from the hotel to SAU's south campus.

You went to open your coffee that Will bought you downstairs before you left (you weren't drinking nasty brewed coffee from the hotel and you cited the fact that you wouldn't have time to get coffee before the interview as the reason why you needed some now. Plus, you weren't going into arguably the most important interview of your entire life without caffeine in your system.) but you had to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths before you could actually open it because your hands were shaking.

"I don't know about that," you said after taking a sip of your coffee. "I could barely open my coffee."

"We practiced last night and you got all the answers right. You'll do just fine, Y/N. Did you and your social worker come up with strategies for this?"

"Mhm."

You and Marsha had talked about how to manage your nerves during your two interviews at your previous in-person session. Your plan was to remember that you had rehearsed these answers so much that you knew these answers. And to imagine yourself answering them at your desk at home with a candle and a cup of coffee in front of you like how you had actually practiced at home. Plus, the image was of a calming environment, so it might help slow your breathing and heart rate down. And, hey, you already got into one school, so why wouldn't you be able to get into this one?

"I just don't know what to expect in the group interview."

"Just be yourself while being professional. You'll be fine."

Your phone buzzed.

Jay.

You got this! You're gonna kill that interview!

Then another text came in.

Hailey.

Good luck, Y/N! You'll do great! Think positive thoughts (easier said than done, I know, haha). Love you!

You responded to each of them with a thank you and with Jay's, you added a smiley face emoji to the end, and to Hailey's, you added a heart to the end.

Fifteen minutes later, you pulled into the parking lot.

"Take a couple deep breaths," Will told you. You closed your eyes and did as he said. Then, you opened them and nodded. He squeezed your shoulder. "You practiced. Just remember that. Good luck."

And then, you stepped out of the car, grabbed your bag and your coffee, and walked into the place you hoped you'd be going to school at for the next five years.

***

Two hours later, 10:00 am

The group interview went fine. It felt just like a conversation more or less...which kind of made you nervous. Wasn't it supposed to feel like an interview? It was just sort of weird in your opinion. You basically just talked about how fucked the US mental health/foster care/social services system was and how each of you wanted to change that.

But now it was time for the part where you knew what to expect, and this part arguably had more riding it than the group interview: the individual interview.

You were interviewing with someone named Dr. Haldon.

She led you to her office and you sat down. She first asked you how you were doing and you said good, a little nervous, but good.

Then, she jumped right in.

"Your statement of purpose was a little confusing to tell you the truth," she said.

You furrowed your eyebrows. Your statement of purpose seemed pretty clear-cut and easily digestible to you. "It was?"

"Yes. You talked a lot about sports psychology, but why you want to go into neuropsychology and how you want to do more with the mental health side of things, but that you want more precision. So, explain that."

"Which part?" you asked. "The sports psych, neuropsych, mental health, or precision part?"

You swore she could hear your heart beating out of your chest.

"The precision part."

So, you went into it. You explained how you wanted to be a sports psychologist because you loved hockey and always wanted to do something with sports, but that you were also passionate about mental health. So, when you found sports psych, you thought it would be perfect for you.

But, then you took a class in sports psych and realized it was more behavior-based. Plus, it wasn't as precise as neuropsych where you'd be analyzing test results based on previous data and sometimes looking at brain scans.

You also explained how when you were little, you saw your brother becoming a doctor and, being the impressionable little girl you were, you wanted to be a doctor, too. But, then you realized you were scared of blood and weren't super good at hard sciences like chemistry.

So, when you found neuropsych after not wanting to go into sports psych, you knew this was what you wanted to do because it sort of married the two: you'd get to work in the psych field with more precision than sports psych and you'd get to work in a hospital and be on a treatment team without going to med school.

(This was all mentioned in your statement of purpose--minus the med school part--so you really didn't understand why she wanted you to repeat it all.)

"Define what you mean by precision," Dr. Haldon requested.

"Um, neuropsychologists get to look at brain scans and those are more precise than some psychological testing."

"Neuropsychologists don't look at brain scans," she told you.

"They don't? When I researched them, they did. I didn't get to take a neuropsych class though because the class was full when I decided I wanted to switch specialties."

"Well, they don't. That's the neurologist's job. And, sports psychologists get to work with mental health. Are you sure what you took was a sports psychology class?"

"Yes," you answered. It was a full-year class, not just one semester, so you knew the ins and outs of this class that you had taken your senior year of undergrad.

"Well, sports psychologists do still get to work with the mental health of the athlete."

"Oh. I was taught that they had to refer out since it would be a conflict of interest."

"No. I have my post-doc in sports psych, which is why I wanted to interview you."

There it is. That's why you weren't being interviewed by the faculty you said you wanted to work with in your statement of purpose. It was because she wanted to groom you into a sports psychologist...which made half as much as a neuropsychologist, but had the same of amount schooling required.

You just nodded.

"I think you close doors before you even open them all the way."

You just took a deep breath.

Then, she started asking you some questions, most of which you had not prepared for.

"Sorry," you started in response to one of the questions. "I'm thinking. I'm just nervous."

Without missing a beat, she asked, "So, how's your anxiety?"

You stared at her. "What?"

"Well, you've mentioned you were nervous several times."

Twice. You had mentioned your nerves twice. And, any sane person would be nervous during an interview!

You didn't know what to say, so you just blurted the truth out.

"I'm going to therapy," you answered.

"I see. So how is that going?"

You should have told her that your medical/mental health history was none of her damn business, but you wanted to go to this school, so you answered the question. At least, you thought you wanted to go to this school.

"It's going well. Helps a lot," you answered. Now you decided to take charge because, after the conversation you had with Will by the pool last night, you knew that your decision to go here would be riding on whether or not you could get an assistantship at this campus. "Do you have any assistantships available?"

"Oh, yes, I was going to ask you about that as well. We don't have assistantships available. I don't know where you found that information."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "But, on SAU's website, it said that there were assistantships available. Is that only for the main campus?"

"Yes, there are no assistantships for this campus, unfortunately."

"Oh."

There was a pause as if Dr. Haldon were waiting for you to comment further. When you didn't, she posed the question, "So, explain to me why you chose the PsyD route instead of the Ph.D. route."

"Well," you began. Did you tell her that you initially applied for PhDs and PsyDs were just the backup because you didn't get into any PhD programs?

Fuck it. She already knew you had anxiety, it couldn't really get that much worse.

"I applied to PhDs first because they're fully funded. But, since I didn't get into any of those, I applied for PsyDs. And, I like the clinical aspect more than the research aspect, so there's that," you answered.

"You were going to do research even though you don't like it? A Ph.D. is five years, that's a long time to do research if you don't like it. Why?"

"Because they're fully funded," you said quieter than you had answered all of her other questions but still loud enough that she could hear you.

"So you were going to do something you didn't like for that long because the program is fully funded?" You nodded. "I see."

You went through the rest of the questions she had been prepared to ask you and you asked her if she had any recommendations on where to live around here or where current students live, in case you got into the program.

But, during all of this, all you felt was defeat. Even if Dr. Haldon's behavior was making you want to go to Southern Arizona University even less, well you had just bombed your interview; even if you still wanted to go, there was no way they still wanted you.

***

"How'd it go?" Will asked with a smile when you got in the car.

You closed the door and scoffed and shook your head. "Shitty."

"What?" he quickly moved the car into a parking spot so that you two could talk. "Why?"

"I didn't even get to interview with the faculty I wanted to interview with! And the lady who interviewed me was bitch! She questioned my abilities and made it seem like I was supposed to know everything and- and- ugh!"

You blinked your eyes rapidly and fanned them so that you didn't cry and then have to wipe your face and smudge your mascara and foundation everywhere.

"Okay, calm down. Take a deep breath. What happened exactly?"

And so, you relayed the story of your individual interview with him.

"First off, she was wrong to question if you had anxiety or not. That was unprofessional. And secondly, if you knew everything, you wouldn't be here; you'd already be a neuropsychologist. She can't expect you to know everything. That's why you're going to school."

"Yeah, I guess," you agreed.

"And, at least you interviewed here. That way you saw this now instead of seeing it when you got in after deciding to come here. Remember, you're interviewing them as much as they're interviewing you."

You sniffled. "Thanks, Will. Sorry, I made you take time off work to just come down here and for me not to get into this school."

"Hey, no. It was a nice little vacation from the cold. And, you might still get in."

"Yeah, but I'm leaning towards Kansas City now even if I do get in."

"Okay. Wherever you want to go. It's your decision. I know you wanted somewhere warm, Y/N. But Kansas City might be the place for you."

"Yeah," you agreed quietly.

"I drove around and looked at some possible apartments for you, but now I think we should just go get some ice cream. What do you think?"

"I think that sounds like a great idea."

And then, instead of ice cream, you got the gooiest chocolate chip cookie of your life topped with caramel. It didn't fix everything, but it sure made it better.

And, when you called Jay in the car to explain to him everything that happened at your interview, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little relieved that you probably wouldn't be moving 25 hours away from him.

***

A month and a half later, early May

It was finally time for you to go to Kansas City to look at the school you would be attending and start apartment hunting. You had been apartment hunting as much as possible online, but it was really hard to know an area and know if you liked an apartment by looking online. So, you and Jay were driving down, and then Will was flying down after his shift later tonight so that he'd be with you to visit the school during the interview later morning tomorrow. (You figured he was the best bet to bring since he knew more of this stuff than Jay. And, you weren't gonna bring both brothers. You were in graduate school, not undergrad; bringing both of them would be overkill.)

You were a little over four hours into your drive and the sky had started to darken about half an hour ago. Since you were currently the passenger and Jay was driving (you planned on switching drivers when you got into Kansas City so that you could practice driving there with someone else in the car), he had you check the forecast to see when it was going to rain.

Your phone had told you in about two hours, and you hoped to be close to Kansas City by then.

And then, yours and Jay's phones went off at the same time, almost giving you a heart attack. You looked at the alert.

"There's a tornado warning near us," you told Jay.

"A watch or a warning?" he asked.

"Warning."

He cursed under his breath. "Hopefully we'll miss it. Keep an eye out for funnel clouds. How far away are we from where it was spotted?"

You went on your phone to start looking for more information, and not even two minutes later, it started hailing.

You grabbed your sweatshirt from the backseat so that in case the hail shattered your windshield, you'd have something to put over your face to protect your eyes.

The area beneath the overpasses quickly started to become full of cars and semis that were finding a place to hunker down for the time being. Jay reached down flip something and then cursed when he realized what he was looking for wasn't there.

"And, it's in your car. Great," he said.

"Why? You want a new truck if we were driving yours and the windshield breaks?" you asked as you continued to scroll through your phone for more information.

"No," he answered. "I could put on my lights and sirens and probably find us a police station to camp out at. And, I'd be able to listen to important stuff like where an accident is, from my scanner. And, my windshield and windows are bulletproof. The hail's small enough now that it shouldn't break your windshield, though."

You nodded. "And, that bulletproof glass isn't going to help much if we drive into a tornado."

"That is true," he agreed. "Can you text Will and Hailey and let them know what's going on?"

You did so and immediately got responses from both Will and Hailey.

Hailey: WHATTT???

Will: Go find somewhere to post-up.

You responded to the group, even though you were mainly responding to Will's question, by telling them that you were trying to find something to take cover underneath, but that the areas underneath the overpasses were all full, so you were gonna keep driving.

Then, Will and Hailey replied with some form of stay safe and Will told you to keep them updated. Hailey also said to tell Jay that she loved him.

"Hailey says she loves you," you told Jay.

Jay laughed. "This is arguably safer than us getting shot at every day. But tell her I love her, too. You can tell her the getting shot at thing, too, if you want."

"She'll probably send a middle finger emoji if I tell her that."

"Yeah, probably."

You texted and told Hailey that Jay said he loves her, too and Will responded asking if he's chopped liver. So, you told him that you and Jay loved him too, but that you should both be fine and that you'd stop driving once you found a place to hunker down at.

After driving for ten more minutes, the hail was coming down so hard that you and Jay could barely see, so he took the first exit he saw.

"Look for places with empty spots," he told you, referring to places with awnings over them so that you'd be covered.

You looked and there was a bank...full. A church with a small awning...full.

Then, Jay spotted a self-service car wash and did what was probably an illegal U-turn to turn into the parking lot.

There were three stalls and the last one on the right was empty. You both thanked your lucky stars and pulled inside.

Jay breathed a sigh of relief as he put the car in park. "Tell Will we're safe."

Then a thought came to mind. "You think Will's gonna be able to fly out tonight?"

Jay looked at the clock. It was almost 3 pm and Will's flight didn't leave until 11 pm. "His flight doesn't leave for another eight hours, so hopefully. If not, I'll just go tour the school with you."

"Okay."

"It's always an adventure with you, isn't it?"

You laughed and shook your head. "And we're not even to Kansas City yet."

After hunkering down for a bit, the hail had let up and you got back on the highway and continued driving. As it turns out, you had been driving the way the tornado was heading. Hail started up once more, but only kept up for five minutes. And, twenty minutes later, there were blue skies on the horizon.

You took a picture and texted it to Will and Hailey telling them you were safe and driving again and told Will to let you know if his flight got delayed or canceled.

***

The next day, Monday

The rest of the night went fine and Will's flight left as scheduled and you and Jay picked him up from the airport and then went for some late-night ice cream. The three of you got breakfast at the hotel and you bought a bottled latte from the market area—Jay and Will thought bitter and acidic hotel coffee tasted fine; you did not.-- Then, the three of you went back upstairs to your room and you and Will proceeded to get ready for the day while Jay got back into bed and proceeded to drink his coffee, call Hailey (who was on her into work), and watch highlights of last night's NHL playoff games.

You and Will went to Kansas City Health College and University and right off the bat, you already got better vibes than those at SAU. Everyone was friendlier, maybe that was just a Midwest thing, but either way, you'd take it.

You toured the school (well, it was more like a building) and you liked it better than SAU as well. They were all about their students here and it was obvious they cared about them and their success. There was a student area complete with a fridge where you could store your lunches for the day and a microwave to use, as well as some comfy chairs and a couch for students to study on and relax. There was a little bar area where students could eat or study. And, there were even two gaming consoles in front of a flat-screen tv, a foosball table, and a ping-pong table for students to use so that they can chill out and hang out with friends. The lady who was giving you a tour even said that last week, they even had a staff vs students ping-pong tournament.

Then, you went and looked at some of the classrooms along with the lab, which you would be using for your neuroanatomy lab and she went over some of the other things the school offered, such as counseling services.

Then, she gave you time to ask any questions you might have for her, you met with the program director and asked her program specific-questions, such as scheduling and the like, and then you met with the dean of students who just wanted to introduce herself and let her know that you could come to her with any concerns you might have.

The entire tour and meetings/question and answer sessions only lasted about two hours, but one thing was for sure: you had found the school for you.

(And, once you were completely finished, Will took a picture of you outside the school that you planned to post on your Instagram tonight.)

***

"How'd it go?" Jay asked when you and Will walked back into the hotel room. This time, Jay's hair was wet and you assumed he had gone to the gym and then taken a shower while you had been gone because you'd now been gone from the hotel for a total of three hours, and despite relaxing when you had left, you knew Jay couldn't sit still for three hours watching random sports highlights or shitty, unrealistic reality tv.

"She loves it," Will said before you could even answer the question.

"Really? Better than SAU, then?"

"Way better. They really care about their students." You then recapped everything you learned, including the student lounge area, how small the cohorts were, etc.

"I'm glad you like it. Ready to go look at apartments?"

That was what was next on your agenda, apartment hunting. You had used up the rest of your sick to take some time off in June to come back if you still needed to find an apartment, but you really didn't want to come back and look again if you didn't have to. You'd prefer to use that time to do things you needed to get done before moving such as going to the eye doctor to see if you needed new glasses and going to the dentist. And, not needing to use that time to come back down here to look at apartments meant that you could use those days for job interviews as well. That was another thing you needed to do after apartment hunting: job hunting.

"Just let me change first. I am not wearing dress pants to look at apartments. And, I'm putting my hair up," you told Jay.

After quickly changing into something more comfortable and putting your hair up, Will changed his clothes as well and the three of you went out to the car to start apartment hunting.

***

You had been looking at apartments online in a historic district called Regent's Circle. It looked very pretty in the photos, but they couldn't really do it justice. Once you parked and walked around, you knew this was where you wanted to live.

Since it was a historic district, it had old townhouses and cobblestone sidewalks, as well as a little coffee shop that Jay said you could go to after you looked at some apartments, a park right in the center of the area, and even a community garden.

It made you think of all the vintage cities you saw in photos and, since your grad school didn't have that old-timely Harvard/Yale feel, at least the place you were living would...if you could find an apartment here, that is.

You had three apartments you wanted to check out that you had found online, but if you found ones while walking around, you'd look at those as well.

The first one you looked at was nice, but it was really dimly lit and dark inside, which you didn't really like. You'd live there if that was the only thing available, but you didn't want to. (At least it was a loft and had exposed brick like you wanted. But, you had filtered for lofts. You wanted something like Kelly and Stella's apartment, but on a smaller scale...and something that you could afford.)

The second one you looked at, you absolutely fell in love with.

It was more expensive than the previous one, but it had a pool. And, something Jay liked was that the parking lot was gated and you needed a code to get in and you'd be on the second floor.

It was a one-bedroom and was a loft style, of course, so it was very open. There was a long marble island, so you wouldn't even need to buy a table, just a set of barstools. The main wall in the living/kitchen that faced the back of the building—as well as the dog park, so you could see cute puppies while watching tv—, was all exposed brick with some windows on it. There were also beams exposed in the ceiling.

The bathroom sink was separate from the shower/tub and the toilet, meaning someone could do their makeup while someone else was going to the bathroom if needed. But, this wasn't your favorite part about the bathroom. No, your favorite part was that it was a wide, circular bathtub/shower, a soaking tub if you will, which would come in handy for taking warm, relaxing baths after long days of classes, studying, and practicums.

And, something that Jay pointed out, the floor was concrete, so you didn't have to worry about spilling something on the carpet and staining it and getting charged for it. (You assumed Jay was speaking from experience during his bachelor pad days, but when you asked him, he said he was pleading the fifth.)

The apartment definitely gave you Stella and Kelly vibes and it was in a safe area.

Then, you finished the tour by looking at the fitness center and then gave the manager who had helped you your email address and phone number and he gave you a few pieces of paper with information as well as his business card.

"That's the one I want," you told Jay and Will when you were sitting outside at the little coffee shop a quarter mile away from the apartment you had just toured drinking a latte and eating a danish.

"It's a bit pricey," Jay pointed out.

"They're all like that if she wants it in a safe area," Will said.

"Would you rather have me be safe and live in a bit more expensive apartment? Or not be safe and live in a cheap apartment? Plus, there's an in-unit washer and dryer, which you know is a deal-breaker for me."

All the way back when you were in Arizona, you had told Will that having an in-unit washer and dryer was one of your non-negotiables for your apartment. You knew that being a busy grad student, you wouldn't have all day to spend at a laundromat or in a community laundry area in your apartment, so you needed an in-unit washer and dryer.

"She's got a point, Jay," Will agreed. "And, she's got some savings to pull from if she can't find a job right away."

"And it's five minutes away from school and I don't need to drive on the highway. I'm saving money in gas and time without all the traffic."

"And here I thought Will was the boujee sibling," Jay said, causing Will to roll his eyes.

You smiled. "I'll take that as your seal of approval."

And three days later, when you were back at work and had downtime during your shift, you applied for the apartment.

***

Two and a half months later, mid-July

Everything was in place. You secured the apartment you wanted in Regent's Circle in Kansas City, you had gotten an online tutoring job that was flexible where you could work from home, so you could work around your school and practicum schedules, and you were mostly packed up. (And you had gotten into SAU even after bombing the interview, but decided not to go because they—especially Dr. Haldon—absolutely did not pass the vibe check...and they got back to you two months later instead of two weeks like they had originally told you.) Your favorite coworkers had even thrown you a little surprise goodbye party complete with mini cupcakes and a few gifts, which included a card, two energy drinks, and a Starbucks gift card.

And now, you were leaving in two days, which was why you were very confused when Jay had made you stop doing laundry and packing up last-minute things and told you to get ready because you were going somewhere.

"Hailey, help me out here," you began, "where are we going?"

"Can't tell you that," she told you.

"Okay...how do I need to dress then?"

"Casual," she answered. "With a little bit of makeup."

You nodded. "Still didn't give me any hints. Rude."

And then you walked into your room to change and do your makeup with Jay and Hailey laughing in the background.

***

"Molly's? Really?" You asked when Jay parked on the street where Molly's Pub was located. "You couldn't have just told me that?"

"I'm just picking something up from Kelly," Jay answered. "And, I thought you might want to see Stella one more time before you leave and she's bartending tonight."

The three of you got out of Jay's truck—Hailey citing the fact that who knows how long Jay and Kelly would talk as her reasoning for not staying in the truck—and then walked into Molly's.

"Surprise!" was what you heard when you walked in.

You looked around with wide eyes to see a banner that said Farewell Y/N! and everyone from Intelligence, 51, and everyone you knew at Med. Even Voight was here and from snippets of conversation you had heard here and there, he was one step above being legally barred from entering Molly's.

You put your hand over your mouth as tears came to your eyes. "You guys."

"You didn't think we'd send you off without a party, did you?" Kelly asked.

"I wasn't expecting one, no."

Then Stella walked up to you. "Well, you got one. And all your drinks are on the house tonight." She handed you a drink. "Starting with this cherry vodka sour."

Stella knew that was your favorite.

A few minutes later, after everything had died down a bit, Voight came up to you while you were talking to Stella and Kelly at the bar.

"Congrats, kid," he said.

"Thank you," you replied.

"You've always been sort of like a daughter to me and to everyone in Intelligence for that matter, so I'm gonna keep it short." He handed you an envelope. A fat envelope at that. "For rent. And, there's the numbers of a sergeant and a couple of officers I know down there in case you run into any trouble."

"I can't accept this. It's too much." You hadn't even opened it, but by the thickness of the envelope, you knew it contained a lot of money.

"You can and you will. Justin never really used his college fund, and I wanted it to go to something worthwhile."

(This was in fact, a lie. This was money from Voight being Voight, but you didn't need to know that. And more importantly, Jay didn't need to know that...even though, after you counted out the bills, Jay would have his suspicions.)

You nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Stay out of trouble."

And then, he gave you a hug and left the bar because even though he was legally allowed to enter, he knew he still would never be accepted there. And, the less time he spent there, the better.

***

After talking and laughing with everyone for about an hour, Hermann yelled to be heard over the noise.

"Okay, everyone! Listen up!" The room quieted. "It's time to give Y/N her presents."

Then, Ritter came out one of the employees-only doors, pushing a food service cart containing multiple gift bags and boxes wrapped in colorful wrapping paper.

You were just about to say something when the door opened and you whirled your head around.

You jumped off your barstool and ran up to him.

"Casey!"

He pulled you into a hug. "You didn't think I'd miss my favorite kid's going away party, did you?"

"I thought you were in Oregon!"

"Just in time," Will said.

Then, you looked between your two brothers and at all of the firefighters in the bar. They didn't look surprised to see Casey at all.

"You knew about this?"

Jay laughed. "Who do you think told him?"

"Enough with the logistics," Casey yelled. "Get this kid a drink! On me!"

"Her drinks are already free tonight!" Kelly yelled. "Which you would've known if you got here on time."

"Nice to see you, too, Severide," Casey shot back.

There were a couple of chuckles heard throughout the bar and then Hermann spoke up again.

"Open the gifts so we can get this cart out of here, will you?"

You laughed and shook your head and then opened your gifts, thanking every single person as you went.

51 got you a fire extinguisher and a Slamigan, which Kelly explained was less about opening doors and more for whacking someone over the head if they tried to break into your apartment. All the doctors and nurses got together and made you the best first aid kit you had ever seen, complete with more stuff than even Jay had in the first aid kit at home and you thought his was the best at-home first aid kit around. And, Intelligence got you a master lock for your door just for some added security. Also, Kevin and Adam got you a Taser. (They had to specify that it was just from them because Jay vetoed it for the joint gift, so they got it for you themselves.) And, Gallo, Ritter, and Violet gave you a case of their lightest IPA and a 12-pack of grapefruit seltzer so that you Jay, Hailey, and Will would have something to drink while working on moving you into your apartment.

Then, they did something that was even more unexpected than giving you all these gifts: they started chanting speech.

"Here, take this," Stella handed you a shot of what you assumed was vodka. "Liquid courage."

You took it and then took a deep breath.

"I wasn't really prepared to give a speech—I wasn't prepared for any of this since it was a surprise—so it might not be the greatest," you began. You looked around the room at everyone who had come out to celebrate you tonight, of all people. "Thank you all for coming, it really means a lot. Stella, thank you for making my hair beautiful for all my dances senior year. Sylvie, thank you for helping me with my biology homework when Will was busy at work so he couldn't help me. Thank you to all of 51 for making me laugh when I had to spend days there when I was younger when Will and Jay were busy and couldn't stay with me. Kelly and Matt, thank you for teaching me how to use a fire extinguisher and how to change the batteries in a smoke detector.

"Everyone at Med, thank you for putting up with me when I went to Med to find Will even if I was pulling you away from your jobs. I'm also sorry about that." That got a couple of laughs from some people. "Hannah, thank you for all your help earlier this year. I would've been even more of a mess if it weren't for your help.

"Trudy, thank you for putting up with me when I'd run into the district looking for Jay and for always giving me money to go get a snack and a pop from the vending machines. Kim, thank you for helping me with my Spanish. Kevin, thank you for taking me for my very first ride in a cop car when you were on patrol and Kim was pulled up to Intelligence for the day. Sorry, Trudy." She glared at Kevin, but then laughed, so you knew it wasn't that serious. "Adam, thank you for teaching me how to pick locks because Jay told me that he'd never teach me that."

Now, you turned to face Hailey and your brothers and the tears started to fall.

"Hailey, thank you for coming into my brother's life and for loving him and during that time, for loving me as well. Thank you for becoming the closest thing to a mom that I've ever had."

Hailey put her hand over her mouth and blinked rapidly to hold back her tears, but then just gave up and let a few of them slide down her cheeks.

"And to Will and Jay, God I can't even put into words how much you two mean to me. You became like father figures to me. Your both have put your careers on the line whether that be to pick me up from school on time, or to leave a shift to come to one of my academic awards ceremonies. Thank you. And thank you for putting up with me for these past six months and for being there and helping me through this process. I couldn't have done it without you both."

By the end of your speech, there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

And, despite saying that you didn't really think you'd miss Chicago and would relish living on your own, by the end of the night, you knew that in two days, you'd feel pangs of homesickness when you drove away from all these people who had become like a family to you over the years.

***

4 days later

You looked around your apartment at all the hard work you, Jay, Will, and Hailey had put in during these past two days. The four of you had hauled ass the past two days to get you completely moved in by Sunday night so that Will, Jay, and Hailey could leave and be home at a decent time in the morning so that Will could make it to his 3 pm-3 am shift on time.

"We should probably get going," Will stated. He had said that an hour ago, but there had been a silent agreement between the four of you to prolong your brothers' and sister-in-law's stay as long as possible. Even though you said you were more excited than nervous, it didn't mean that you wouldn't miss them.

You were not going to cry because you knew if you started crying, you'd want to jump in Jay's truck and go home with them, and you knew you couldn't do that.

"One last picture," Hailey said and pulled out her phone, and handed it to Will, who was the tallest of the four of you.

You all crowded together while Will held Hailey's phone and took a selfie.

Now, it was time for goodbye.

Hailey was up first.

"I'm gonna miss you," she told you.

Tears sprang to your eyes. "I'm gonna miss you, too. Make sure Jay doesn't get shot, okay?"

"I'll do my best. You know he's a bullet magnet."

"Unfortunately."

Then, you gave her a big hug. She knew how much she meant to you and vice versa, so there wasn't a need for a long, drawn-out goodbye between you two.

Next up, was Will.

He pulled you into a hug and told you he'd love and miss you and then pulled away and put his hands on your shoulders.

"You call me if you need anything, okay? And I mean anything."

All you could do was nod because you knew if you said anything, you'd just start crying.

Last but certainly not least, was Jay.

He gave you a bone-crushing hug, during which you tried not to sob.

But, when he pulled away and you saw him trying his best to hold back tears, that's when the waterworks started.

"I'm gonna miss you, so much!"

Jay hugged you again. "And I'm gonna miss you, too. But I am so, so proud of you."

You nodded and wiped your tears. "I love you, Jay Jay."

"Love you, too, kiddo."

Jay took a deep breath to steady himself. "We need to go, but if you need anything at all, I'm only eight hours away, about five or six with lights and sirens."

"I know. Voight might kick your ass for using them all the way to Kansas City, though."

"That would probably be Platt, which is arguably scarier."

Then, you walked the three of them to your door and watched them leave.

Hailey sent you the picture and you posted some highlights of these two days including another picture in front of your school of the four of you that you had a passerby take and some funny videos you took while moving in, one of which was Jay and Will arguing over how to build a couch because Jay refused to read the directions.

Then, you posted all of these on your Instagram with the caption Onto the next adventure.

Jay and Hailey both reposted the post on their Instagram stories with Jay captioning it Not a dad, but I think this is what being a proud dad feels like with a heart emoji at the end, and Will posted the picture of the four of you in front of your school on his account with the caption Soon, there will be two Dr. Halsteads.

And, little did you know, Jay, Will, and Hailey did not have to be back tomorrow because Will had to work. That was a lie. They were getting a hotel room to make sure everything went okay on your first night alone in your apartment.

Because even though you were living on your own and would be a state away, they would do anything to help you succeed, whether that be helping you with applications, going with you to an ultrasound, or telling you a white lie so that they could make sure you were okay.

You wouldn't trade them for the world.

And, Jay had been right: you got this.

A/N: If you made it this far, congratulations! You finished my longest imagine ever! If you liked it, don't forget to reblog/like and comment because I love hearing what you guys think! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @911ls-tarlos @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88 @glitterquadricorn @luvreading67 @smoothdogsgirl @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff@actlikesummerr @lcothr523 @star-wars-lover​

[sande5098]

If you don't mind Whould you write me a imagine Fanfic Oneshot of about me and Will Halstead pliss? 🥺🥺❤️❤️

In the Rain

Characters: Fem. Reader x Will Halstead

Requested: Yes, by @zaidatorcuatomorgado I really hope you enjoy this🩷

Prompt: "Dance with me and pretend the world doesn't exist."

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, fluff, just will being an absolute sweetheart ♡🥰

word count: 1.1K

----

You sat at bar swirling what was left of your whiskey, after a long day at home and an even longer day at work you were ready for the weekend. Praying that no disasters caused a last minute call in to work. Currently, you'd had enough of the world and the dried tear tracks showed that, Timothy, your fiancé had just broken up with you well, ex-fiancé, and now, you didn't have it in yourself to go home. Too many raw emotions and memories. And there was no point in crying over a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream tonight, besides if you found someone else whose bed you could get into, even better.

"Hey can I have 2 of what the woman beside me's drinking" You raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything to the red head as he took the bar stool beside you. Frowning a bit when you had another whiskey neat passed towards you. "Thanks" "you looked like you needed it." he replied easily shrugging his shoulders. "Jez, a ‘no problem’ or ‘you're welcome’ would've been fine" rolling your eyes, you finished off the last of your whiskey before moving on to the one the stranger beside you had so kindly bought you.

"Is everything okay? You look like you're going through something." the redhead asked you. You snorted a little, "Who are you, my therapist?" The man chuckled, "Close enough, I'm a doctor." You nodded at that, half expecting the answer to be some form of healthcare professional. "Y/n L/n" you turned and smiled at him. He done the same. "Will Halstead." "It's nice to meet you doctor Halstead" you purred quietly to him, you could see a tinge of red rising to Will's face, It clashed horribly with his hair but at the same time you thought it looked quite cute. Drinking the last of your whiskey, you saw Will's drink go largely untouched. "You not a fan?" Will gave you a tight smile, "No I'm more of a spirits guy myself do you want it?" He relied easily. Without another word you picked up the drink and drank half of the glass.

"Did you just order what I ordered to try to pick me up." Raising an eyebrow with an amused smirk playing on your lips. "Is it working? Because if it is, that's a yes." You felt a hand slide from your middle spine to your lower spine, sitting on the curve, sending a shiver through your body. "Maybe..." Your left hand reached for his thigh. You felt the strong muscles flex beneath your touch. Making you want to shiver but you refused the urge. You could feel the effect of the past three or four shots on your stomach, you knew your head was clouded but at the same time you couldn’t bring yourself to care much. “What do you want to drink?” Will gave you a curious look, “just a vodka and coke.” You nodded and finished the shot of whiskey and asked the bartender for a shot of vodka and a vodka and coke. You were slightly glad for Will’s hand on the small of your back. You knew that you probably would’ve fell off the stool by now otherwise, and you didn’t feel particularly like ending up in the E.R for a cracked open skull.

"You're wondering what's got me drinking so heavily? My fiancé dumped me." You said, shrugging your shoulders, your eyes drifted away from his sorrowful soft expression, you didn't want people to feel sorry for you. Things like this happened to people all the time, it wasn't worth crying over Timothy anymore. "Im sorry to hear that, you must be taking it quite harshly." he motioned to the drink, "Speaking of, how much have you had to drink in the last hour?” Will asked as you suddenly downed the next shot as soon as it was set in front of you. You squeezed your eyes shut at the taste “about 5 ish now" you shrugged, not really caring. He gave you an 'are you serious look, making you giggle. "Come on, I'll take you home" Will handed his card over to the bartender, telling him to close both of your tabs out before helping you stand up.

As soon as you were on both of your feet the world started spinning around you, you could barely put a foot in front of the other without stumbling. At least Will was there to save you from making a fool of yourself by falling flat on your face, for that you were glad. The dizziness got a little better the longer you stood and you could at least walk without stumbling now in a somewhat decent straight line.

"Ugh it's raining, just amazing." you complained, Will smiled down softly at you, "Come on, It's not that bad right?" Looking up at him you had to pull your gaze away as you felt your cheeks get flushed. "Here, take my coat." The red head said as he placed the coat over your shoulders, the heat from it made you shudder and bury the remainder of your body into the coat which drowned you, reaching halfway down your calfs. "Thanks" you mumbled as you could feel your eyes burning, trying to kid yourself into the fact that the rain managed to get into your eyes and that they were just watering was no use, especially when you tried to hide it.

Will looked down at you as you sneakily tried to wipe your eyes, he captured your chin and tilted your head so your e/c eyes and his light brown eyes met. Using his other hand, he wiped away the remaining tears slowly rolling down your cheeks. "Just dance with me and pretend the world doesn't exist." he whispered, upon recognising the slow dance that could be heard from the jukebox within the bar. "In the rain? You'll get a chill without anything to keep you dry." you laughed lightly as more rain dripped onto your face, except this time it was from Will's hair. "Why not?" He took his hands and placed them on your waist, you moved yours to around his neck and he started to move, guiding your steps.

The traffic of the wet Chicago night really just set the right scene for this, the occasional honk of a car horn in the distance, the muffled, yet beautiful melody playing from the jukebox, even the rain played its part as you apologised yet again for stepping on Will's feet again as he just laughed at you.

As the song came to an end, he brought you to his car to give you that ride that he had offered. He even left his number on your kitchen counter for when you woke up the next morning and you couldn't help but smile at the cute post-it note that contained a phone number and a little smiley face with curly hair.