#i think this is a no-mafia AU

[rivalmelty]

listen if the existence of the book means there are an infinite number of realities then there’s at least one where fukuzawa took in the both of them and the ada was born on two pillars instead of just one

(pls do not tag as beast)

[heart-select]

The King, The Paramour

Mafia AU but the idea is people underestimate bilbo but it's the queen that moves most in a game of chess. Mildly inspired by "Marked Man" by TenTomatoes

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Okay, okay, I wrote some of the thing!

Give Me Some Sugar (both the title, and Kim's desperate please for something that doesn't make his soul shrivel up and die)

The first time he walks into the cafe, Chay doesn’t believe his eyes. He stops mid-sweep to stare as the leather-clad man walks up to the counter and looks up at the menu, his hands in his pockets, a tuft of glossy black hair falling across his eye. 

“Oh my god!” Chay whispers, giddy, quickly looking around to make sure no one saw his outburst before he all but runs behind the counter. 

He wais politely. 

“Hello! Welcome to our cafe, what can I get for you?”

“What do you recommend?” Wik—Wik—asks, his voice syrup smooth. 

Chay wracks his mind for everything he knows about WIK, coming up with nothing in his panic-stricken state. What does Wik like? 

Chay smiles brightly and says, “That depends on your preferences, phi. What do you like?”

A sly smile. “Anything.” 

It feels like a test. It also feels like Wik is looking at him a little closer than he should, from Chay’s blushing cheeks to his hands nervously twisting in the front of his apron, and back up, and Chay banishes that thought before it can take root and make him melt. 

“Then…” Twist, twist, twist. “I recommend a mocha. It has chocolate to balance the espresso, but it’s not too sweet.” 

“One of those, then. Please.” 

“Okay!” Chay rings him up, confirms the order, and wais in thanks for the tip. “May I have a name for the order?”

Another grin. “No.”

“O-oh. Okay!” There aren’t many people in the cafe, anyway. Then Wik is walking away, towards a table by the window, and Chay realizes he’s about to lose his one and only chance. “Oh, wait! You need to sign your receipt!” 

Wik stops. Looks over his shoulder. There’s a knowing edge around the corner of his smile that makes Chay’s face hot. “Didn’t I already? On the screen.” 

“Oh, yeah…” Chay is burning. “My mistake!” 

Wik laughs, and Chay is too busy dying of embarrassment to truly appreciate it as he hastily gets to making his drink. 

Five minutes later he carries over to Wik’s table and somehow manages not to trip over himself and spill it all over both of them. The porcelain cup and its small saucer land softly in the middle of the table, unharmed, unspilled. It’s a miracle. 

“Thank you,” Wik says with a dimpled smile that makes Chay feel all hot and gooey inside, like melted caramel drizzle, and he wais before he takes his leave. 

Chay continues to take orders and make drinks for the various patrons that come through. Surprisingly, no one else seems to recognize Wik. He blends in, keeping his head bowed over a notebook that he’s been working in since he sat down, his hair obscuring most of his face in a way that looks effortless but is no doubt intentional. Chay tries not to watch him—doesn’t want to make Wik uncomfortable, but he can’t help it. 

He looks up when a familiar song comes on over the speakers, looks at Chay, who very carefully does not look back at him. 

Just act natural, Chay tells himself. It could be worse—he could have put on the playlist that cycled through all of Wik’s songs on repeat. He saves those for slow days and closing shifts, though, when there’s no one to complain about the repetition. Playing only one of Wik’s songs in the twenty minutes he’s been in the cafe is nothing. 

Between customers, Chay continues his earlier work of cleaning, sweeping up spilled sugar and wiping down tables. Whenever he passes by Wik—never too close, he doesn’t want to intrude—he hears him humming, bobbing his head to a rhythm, pausing every so often to write in his notebook. Chay wonders if he’s working on a new song. Wonders what it’s about. Desperately wants to ask, but he doesn’t want to chase Wik away, especially when he looks so focused and comfortable. 

After another fifteen minutes or so, Wik does leave, slipping out the door without so much as a goodbye, and Chay sighs after him. Goes to clean up his table, when something catches his eye. A napkin sitting innocently on top of the now-empty cup, imprinted with neat black characters that make his heart pound. 

Chay, Next time just ask—WIK 

Chay clutches the signed napkin to his chest and screams. 

I lowkey want to write a coffee shop AU. Chay is a barista and Kim is one of his regulars who's there more often than he isn't. (Memorized Chay's schedule once he caught feelings bc stalker, just like Chay memorized the exact times Kim comes in and always makes sure to have a fresh drink waiting for him.)

It started out when Kim jokingly told Chay to surprise him with something, and grew from there. First Chay is just getting Kim's feedback on ideas for new drinks to put on the menu. He always gets the same reaction: small smile, a simple "it's good". Then Chay starts trying to get a better reaction out of him. Starts putting together some truly odd things, just to see how far Kim will let him push. He always smiles, compliments it, and drinks it all (even when he's shuddering inside. Chay once made him drink a quad espresso black, and he still hasn't recovered).

Chay is shook when he finds out Kim actually has a serious sweet tooth. His favorite drink is probably something like a caramel macchiato, or something else sweet and overly indulgent. Then Chay feels a little bit bad for all the dark coffee he kept making Kim drink, but it's okay, Kim will just have to make out with him about it.

[fosliie]

It is time to actually explain that one vague Sam and Max au! Calling it

Take me out Noir au

first off, you have to know, this au is essentially a hypothetical fanfic Sam and Max write together with their “totally not me” ocs. I feel like they’d be the kinda guys to write self fulfilling fanficfion (they’re terrible at it)

The gist is that it is a gritty noir detective drama starring Samantha and Maxine, their fem counterparts. It’s the same vibes as a noir detective pulp fiction novel in the 1950’s, so VIOLENCE!! DRAMA!! TENSION!!!

With a disheveled detective and her ex-partner turned performer/singer (with connections to the mafia..?), they often cross paths and usually end up fighting, reminiscing longingly, or a mixture of the both

[bishy437]

im so srory

[arrowheadedbitch]

Okay, hear me out. This is what I wanna see now.

Tim becomes a mafia boss under the table.

A small organization falls into his lap and he starts running it in secret, it starts growing really fast though bc let's be real, tim is running it, so he has to work harder to keep it a secret from the bats

He runs it in his civies so there is no chance of running red robin's image, but he tells all his guys that he has a bat on his payroll, he never specifies which tho so they can't try to rat on him and they'll be more wary with every bat. (He also eventually tells them that he has a super and a speedster on his "payroll" too, still not specifying which)

He ends up becoming bigger than red hood ever was without any one even knowing it's him

It's also an oddly "good" mafia, because they tend to refrain from killing, it's the best case scenario for crime in Gotham but still... who could be running it? And when will things get worse?

Also, it took down other crime people and families but not red hood's gang, it completely avoided them? Why? Every one is completely confused as to why that is the only gang the group allows.

And no one will ever find out it was all Tim unless he wants them to.

He's still better than Luthor, tho.

[yoinkschief]

I hope these guys explode

[itty-bitty-sunshine]

On this episode of home shenanigans: never again am I doing stretching exercises with this show-off mf

[yuri-is-online]

Tsum Tsum event with Yutu where his tsum didn't get the hidden identity memo and isn't wearing a mask or a hoodie, it's just a free range Yutu out in the wild following Yuu around. No one recognizes the little guy but they see his little dorm uniform and start asking questions it's not like Yutu can really defend himself because they don't know it's him. And his tsum knows that and is rubbing all the attention its getting from Yuu in his face.

[swordsandholly]

There’s a smoothie place near where my wife works called Nutrition Smoothie and if you look inside it’s “open”, but there are no smoothie machines and you never see anybody in there except sometimes maybe one guy behind the counter. We have a running gag about what would happen if you tried to go in and actually order something bc it’s so obviously a front.

Anyway, thinking about mafia au!Simon being on counter duty and reader coming in and trying to order something and he’s just staring, mind boggled that she doesn’t notice the obvious lack of smoothie paraphernalia.

[naffeclipse]

I've been musing over a few thoughts inspired by this ask about a mafia-ish style of Apex Polarity without it being too close to Pearl Eye, and after watching a few videos of Orcas hunting their prey (which included dolphins), landed on a sort of Mafia inspired Apex Polarity AU

Also not to add another Y/N to Orclipse's growing collection but this Y/N is a white-beaked dolphin. Look! They're so beautiful!

Sirens are cunning, brutal, and take everything with teeth and claws. The strongest kill and maim at a whim. As a siren who's not particularly strong, though incredibly agile, with a tail streamlined and dark gray with white patches, fins curved and mostly black, you're somewhere at the bottom. You're doing your best to survive and avoid trouble. You pick your battles and you pick your escapes, and most importantly, you stay alive.

But then you do something really stupid: you venture where you shouldn't have.

You don't usually swim so far up north but you're hungry, and the thought of a few tasty squids distracts you from the silent waters and vast, blue emptiness. You realize a bit too late that you're not the only one hunting.

You catch the first orca siren in the distance as a dark figure, and then another. Two who immediately cut through the water, charging straight for you like shadows. Though you turn tail and bolt, you quickly spot them in the corner of your vision. They easily keep pace, their size and strength overwhelming as they flank you on both sides, wide grins flashing their deadly teeth. You can hardly look at the mismatched color of their eyes as you dodge and weave, diving down only to be cut off by one with midnight blue colors at the tip of his flukes, and shooting off to the left just to almost be snatched by the black-bone claws of a siren with bright yellow fins framing his head.

They're toying with you. You know that for a fact in how they just barely keep back, corraling you onwards, draining your already spent energy, and picking at your panicking pulse. You have no choice but to avoid the edges of their jaws and the tips of their talons, and swim in the direction they want.

You near a field of ice floes floating on the water, and though you cut into the jagged structures dipping into the sea, the orca sirens never lose you. A desperate need for air pushes you onward. One small drop of hope still burns in your chest. Despite the aching of your muscles, you steal a gulp of oxygen and dip back down once more, charging away—

Only to run smack into a third orca siren.

This one grabs you, his burning red and orange colors filling your vision. The other two orcas join to help their kin keep you in place long enough for you to truly regret ever venturing here. Between the three of what you can only assume are brothers, hands hooked over you shoulders, claws clutching your wrists, and palms pressing into your hips, you're a fish caught in a net.

You brace for a voilent end. It never arrives. Instead of digging into your sweet meat, the sirens offer you a deal. The tips of sharp fingertips trace your jawline and the soft inside of your arms and down your slick tail while they explain.

You keep watch for human ships and report back when they're getting close, and in exchange, you get the best food you can imagine, the entire Arctic Ocean to swim, and anything else you'd like. The best benefit? You're under their protection. Of course, they expect utter loyalty from you. You are no one else's. Failure to devote yourself to this work and the brothers would mean a grisly fate, but hey, you're nothing if not eager to not be torn apart. So you agree.

You have a few questions about this whole arrangement, struggling to understand why they, powerful orca sirens, bother with a smaller fish like you when they could rip you limb from limb and be done. What's with the human ships? Why task you to this? Are you just fodder so they can keep their fins nice and unscabbed? They reassure you that they'll explain in due time (the sunny one booping your nose, much to your chagrin), but for now, all you know to know is that the human ships are a problem, and you are their solution for it. You've never really encountered humans before, but they've never really encountered sirens, or so you thought.

The burning red one lets you go, but you don't slip away too far before he tugs on your flukes and tells you to follow him. It's not a request. The darker blue one leaves for a moment, jetting away as the other two guide you to a nice resting place on an icy shore. They introduce themselves, and then their brother reappears with a squid in hand, half dead, and an insistence that you eat—they could tell during the chase that you didn't have all your energy.

And that's how you unwittingly join a very powerful pod of orca brothers who may or may not be teasing and taunting you simultaneously.

[nibscrawls]

[dumbfucksystem]

thinking about mafia shen family au. the system is fucking around with shen qingqius life again and is like yk what if ur not gonna tell your husband anything about yourself then ill force you to. have fun! :D

sqq doesn’t even have the time to think 'wtfff??' before Everything Happens. shen yuan’s soul gets shoved back into his original body just moments before he dies. in this version of the au he was choking on food, so he gets the lovely experience of having his airflow blocked again! lucky for him, the system dragged binghe along for the ride so he is saved before he dies again.

this route for mafia au means that the shen family never had to grieve shen yuan. im not sure how the Family reacts to their a-yuan suddenly having a very strong and intimidating significant other (boyfriend? husband?!??? wdym he got married without telling us!?!?) all of a sudden. does shen yuan come out to his family?? no, but also yes, but also not really. they knew he wasn't straight this entire time, so its more like they are coming out to him instead of the other way around. god knows they have bigger skeletons in their closets, they don't care if a twink is in there too.

there is less angst here, and it mostly centers around the comedic factor of shen yuan showing binghe around his house only for them to "stumble upon" an entire closet filled with guns..!?! shen yuan is just standing there in complete horror as binghe grabs a whole ass ar-15!?!?? hes looking at him with the most innocent eyes asking him what this strange metal object is. jesus fucking christ. his white lotus is holding a gun and now he has to explain gun control policies while his brain is leaking out of his ears. he opens his mouth right before an alarm starts blaring everywhere. he’s saved by the bell! except not really, because now six members of his Family are surrounding them and pointing several guns at binghe!!!!! what the actual fuck is going on here!!!!!! this is not how the 'meet the parents' arc is supposed to go!!

[art-the-f-up]

Feligami Mafia Boss/Assassin AU

[kaeya-senpai]

„A million clues, yet i still can’t find you“

[sunnymainecoonx]

Horror's silly I guess..... idk sometimes I just want him to slam people idk

Sighs the man's a little angy don't judge him... Jesus he's ugly