#i think these numbers check out

[technically-human]

He did eventually sign it

[gcballet]

We can kind of brute force some numbers on his age in Io years, if we assume Rimmer is the same (physical) age as Chris Barrie throughout the show, and gloss over the timeskips Rimmer ages through, just looking at the age he's supposed to look like.

So in February 1988 when Series I began airing, Barrie was 27 and turned 28 on the 20th of March, the day before the last episode of SI - Me² - aired on 21/03/88. Series II aired from September to October 1988. Because Rimmer clearly doesn't have a birthday between Confidence and Paranoia and Me², let's pencil in Rimmer's first post-Lister-waking-up-from-stasis birthday as happening between I and II, and not worry about it. Maybe they missed it because of double hologram shenanigans.

We know the Boyz celebrate Rimmer's death day (aka drive plate accident day) in the opening scenes of II:3 - Thanks For The Memory, and for a second I thought 'oh maybe holograms don't celebrate birthdays' but then I remembered 'no this is Rimmer' the idea of him passing up the opportunity for special treatment or gifts and stuff is a stretch.

So within say, seven months (March-Sept)? Gazpacho Soup reveal, Rimmer's first post-Lister-waking-up-from-stasis birthday, first meeting with Kryten, Better Than Life, Rimmer's first post-Lister-waking-up-from-stasis death day.

Okay, not going to find any exact dates obviously, but let's go with him physically equating to 28 just before Kryten.

Io orbits Jupiter every 42 Earth hours?

How many Earth hours are in 28 Earth years?

I *think* this would make a 28 Earth year old Rimmer 5,840 Io years old on his I-II birthday.

Obviously, the length of all these years would change as orbits shift over the 3 million (Earth?) year stasis timeskip, but let's fix them to where they are when Red Dwarf leaves the solar system.

Of the 67 known moons of Jupiter, we know Ganymede, Titan, Europa, and Io are inhabited in Red Dwarf, but the only implication we have that Jupiter itself is colonised is in Legion when Kryten mentions Jovian boogle hoops - a kind of local utensil.

If there are up to 67 Jovian moons, plus Jupiter proper, all inhabited, could they plausibly be grouped with a unified calendar? The JMC is known for big overarching bureaucratic stuff like Esperanto language. We mark years as an orbit round the sun, planetary orbit isn't really a unit we use, and Io would be following the length it takes for Jupiter to do a solar orbit.

Because guess what, a Jupiter year is 12 Earth years long, and a 28 Earth year old Rimmer would only be 2.3 Jupiter years old. Just the comedic potential of Rimmer telling Lister he's nearly two and a half is delightful.

I think it also meshes with Rimmer's general garbage childhood if he had exactly one (Jupiter year) birthday with his family/parents before he divorced them.

The most recent episode airdate was 09/04/20, at which time Barrie was 60 years (and a few weeks) old, the equivalent of only 5 Jupiter years old.

In your proposed Io years, 60 Earth years becomes

So to recap:

28 Earth years = 5,840 Io years = 2.3 Jupiter years

60 Earth years = 12,514.3 Io years = 5 Jupiter years

Here's a fun fact for you all to ponder on.

Rimmer was born on Io.

Io has a very short year in comparison to Earth's. In fact, it only takes Io 42 hours (Earth hours) to orbit Jupiter.

There's no way I could personally work out the maths on this, but in Ionian years Rimmer must be hundreds of years old (am I correct in thinking that?)

I'm guessing this may be the reason why we don't hear any references made to Rimmer's birthday ....

but I would like to make an argument for the 40th hour

No months, no seasons, he was just born on the 40th hour of the year.

Or to be more precise for the birth certificate: he was born on the 40th hour/20th minute/32nd second or 40/20/32/YEAR

[sisaloofafump]

I know we always talk about the funny ways supers carry bats but how about this time we mention the cat

[laurrelise]

i think something interesting about a domestic life post-apocalypse-prevention for five is that he would most likely struggle to cope with the day-to-day in the same way a lot of newly released prisoners do.

in the sense that going to a store and seeing a huge aisle with 9,000 different deodorant brands can be extremely overwhelming for people adjusting to having options at all, i 100% see him getting silently overwhelmed but not really knowing what to do about it. he’s never really had that kind of choice for himself either.

growing up, everything was hand-picked and given to or done for him. in the apocalypse, there was obviously never a choice to begin with. you find something, you take it and make as much use of it as possible. in the commission, i have to assume he was very limited on the things he owned, because there was no reason to be material (if the commission even allowed for it) when the whole thing was a temporary situation he could use to fix his math.

so imagine a physically thirteen five, fresh out of hotel oblivion and finally having found somewhere to stay, going to a store alone to get toothpaste and shampoo and bread and socks. the essentials. and being silently shocked at the sheer amount of options.

also, five is very bad at not over-analyzing everything. everything has a purpose and a motive and a rule of life in his head. i imagine that deciding on something as simple as which coffee maker will be most efficient could feel like life or death to someone who’s never had an option before.

[doux-amer]

[promithiae]

Hi do you want to read all of Discworld but wow that's a lot of books and books are expensive? Humble has all 38 of them up for $18 in ebook format.

They also have smaller bundles, but $20 for 38 books is pretty good

EDIT: I put this in my tags, but realize I should put it in the actual body of the post; unfortunately this is only available in the US (BOOOOOO), and it's going on (I believe, they don't give an actual date that i could see, just a countdown) through January 21st

[xxplastic-cubexx]

waiting for marvel to take you up as their comic artist so that we can have amazing art with cherik official storyline

marvel hire me to draw professor x and magneto making out sloppy style for forty issues straight you will get a BAJILLION dollars i promise

[mechazushi]

It's Offical... The Kno.8 Brain Rot has reached critical levels.

I just woke up from a dream where I was running around in ancient medieval, vampire infested Venice and as I come out a side alley, I see a brightly lit stall. I walk over to it and it's FUCKING KAFKA selling KAIJU NUMBER 8 MERCH (as well as ATLA merch for some fucking reason?)

The dream ended before I could buy anything.... Still was a lovely man.

[bfdifan26]

can you draw some seven x nine art

>:3

listen to valentine by laufey then youll understand (also keep giving me requests today i like to see it as giving people presents)

[tricoufamily]

pretty neat game

[sciderman]

what's a lesser known spider-man related thing that you don't see enough people talk about? (for me although its not lesser known, more like forgotten, only two people (you included) have recongnized my pfp)

weird al yankovic song

[ros-sauce]

Y'know the longer I think about it, the more I think "To me, Mizuki is just Mizuki" or whatever it is that Ena said was Also a thinly veiled way of her saying "Ok well you're still a girl". Like I think the most glaringly obvious, not-behind-a-curtain-in-the-slightest line was when she pointed directly at "So are you like a guy too?" and correctly described that statement as an insult, but surprisingly, that line that pissed me off so bad, that line that really annoying people with limited ability to read have been parroting since the game dropped, might... actually be goated? A little?

Like. I don't know. Ena spent her whole friendship with Mizuki up to this point correctly assuming she was a girl, all she had wrong was the "cis" modifier. (And Cis Modifier isn't necessarily something she consciously thought of, because of the whole cis privilege makes you assume cis as the default and thus that modifier fades into the background thing.) Additionally, a hot fucking minute passed between Mizu5 and Ena5, long enough for Ena to ruin her skin with tears for her dead wife... And during that hot fuckin minute, the Ena5 4koma took place, where she straight up drew a lost girl while stressing about Mizuki. That whole gap between the events and what took place in the gap is very special to me... because the Girl Drawing combined with the Accurately Recognizing The Transmisogynistic Bullying As Exactly That really helps to make clear that Ena was confronting her "cis as default" way of thinking, and not anything else. I don't think she questioned Mizuki's girlhood even once, aside from maybe thinking "what the fuck are they on about" during her run-in with the bullies in Mizu5

[daily-hanamura]

[televinita]

Damn, I guess we only get 4 weeks now (instead of 6) to find our lost/overdue library items before we get charged replacement fees.

[jackalopedaily]

Jackalope Daily Day 388

I wanted to do a remorseful expression on him... Not that he'd ever have it LMAOO but I think he looks GORGEOUS with one. I love pretty people crying!!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

reading Krakoa era out of order bc reading lists online make it confusing and my local library only has so many books

just as god intended right on my friend you're doing everything right and don't let anyone tell you otherwise