#and then Selina and Bruce flirt in the funnier ways

[sisaloofafump]

I know we always talk about the funny ways supers carry bats but how about this time we mention the cat

[nokomiss]

I would love to read more about steph, bat understudy extraordinaire, do you have any extra headcanons in that beautiful brain of yours

I always have extra headcanons about Steph! (Original post this is referring to is here)

The time that Selina, who needed Catwoman to make an appearance at the same time Selina Kyle had an unavoidable engagement, looked around the Cave and said, “Eh, you’re close enough to my size,” and the next thing Steph knew she was living out several personal dreams by a.) wearing Catwoman’s outfit which made her look smokin’ hot b.) getting to do the whole cut a circle of glass out with diamond-tipped nails heist thing c.)  learn to use a bullwhip and d.) finally found out what shade of lipstick selina wore. it was possibly her favorite fill-in.

Filling in as Black Bat was probably the most nerve-wracking, because Steph was a confident young vigilante but she damn well knew that she wasn’t on Cass’s level, fighting-wise, but she leaned in extra hard on the spooky wraith-like phantom aspect (Steph’s cape game is unsurpassed; she keeps trying to challenge bruce to a cape-off, to see who can dramatically swish it the best, but he refuses, probably because he knows he would lose) and unnerved the (thankfully low-rent) ninjas enough that she could take them out easily without damaging Cass’s rep.

The less said about Steph’s night out as Robin, the better. She wore her own Robin outfit (still fit!) but for the sake of authenticity brought Damian’s swords... there were so many Princess Bride references. so many.

Going out as the Signal was fun in that she got to see parts of Gotham by daylight that she rarely did -- turns out a lot of it somehow looked shoddier in the light? who knew?? -- and if the dudes she busted noticed that the Signal had gone through some fairly significant changes since the day before, well. no one said anything.

Dick tapped Steph in as a Nightwing understudy for a Titans mission-- she pointed out that she could go in her own vigilante persona just as easily, but Dick shook his head and pointed out it would be way funnier to have her show up as Nightwing.  Steph showed up completely in character, bad puns at the ready, and had the time of her life. (she definitely took the opportunity to flirt with Kori)

Tim was a little reluctant to have Steph fill in as Red Robin after hearing tales of her mission with the Titans, but everyone else was busy, and Alfred said he wasn’t allowed to go out until he’d slept at least eight hours, so Steph took over the bust on a case he’d been working on for weeks. The dealers Red Robin took down that night couldn’t help but notice that Red Robin’s left hook had improved significantly since the last time they’d met, but because of that they didn’t have long to notice much else about him.

The time as Batman really wasn’t... intentional. It was just all the boys and Cass were out with their various teams, and Steph was patrolling the city when there was a major villain hostage situation of the ‘if batman doesn’t show in fifteen minutes, this entire city block is gone!’ variety, and so Steph and Alfred did rock-paper-scissors, and Steph lost, so she put on the cowl. Batman was extra silent during that encounter, and with all the smoke bombs and fists to the face that the villains took, no one actually got a good look at him.  Thankfully.

Babs, after finding that Steph had done Oracle duty without causing any international incidents, called on her a few times to fill in for various Birds in circumstances where a specific hero needed to show but they were unavailable. Steph made a startlingly convincing Huntress; her aim with the crossbow could use a little work but she had everything else down to a t. She thought her favorite would be Black Canary-- living out another dream, stepping into those fishnets, and it was fantastic -- but she really shone when she took over for Zinda. 

No one’s really sure when it became second nature to call Steph for understudy duties, but suddenly it is. Steph takes over a bulletin board in the cave with selfies of herself in each costume and a pro/con list about the look.

[themetaisawesome]

“Aunt Kate”

Description: Kate Kane is home alone on her night off when an old friend knocks on her door to ask for a big favor in a small package.

Rating: F for fluffy

Note: This isn’t really aligned with any canon. I basically made a little fanon for it out of various pieces from multiple sources.

June 20th is my best friend Sam’s ( @thefingerfuckingfemalefury ) birthday, so to celebrate I wrote her this little fic. Sadly, my mind slipped on the date today and this is coming out late.

Happy birthday, Sam! Hope you had a good one!

“I’m sorry, what?” Kate Kane asked.

Selina Wayne nee Kyle stood in the doorway, holding little Helena in her arm and a diaper bag over her shoulder. “It’ll just be for one night. I’ll be back tomorrow morning to pick her up. Mid-afternoon at the latest.”

Kate opened her mouth to say something, but Selina quickly interjected again. “And before you say anything, I am not breaking my promise with Bruce. This isn’t a heist or a jailbreak. I’m just helping out some friends with… an unusual problem.”

“Does Bruce know what you’re doing?” Kate asked with a tone that made it clear she doubted he knew anything about this. Selina’s hesitation in responding confirmed her suspicion.

“What’s a little secret every now and then between a husband and wife?” she finally replied.

“Who are these “friends” you’re helping out tonight?”

Selina shrugged as casually as she could with a baby in one arm and a bag on the other. “The Sirens are back together for one night only.”

“I thought you hated Poison Ivy.”

“Hate is a strong word. Pam barely makes the top ten in number of attempts on my life. Besides, it’s really hard to say no to Harley. Even over the phone. That girl has too much power.”

That much was true. Even most of Arkham’s past and present finest had something resembling a soft spot for Harley.

“Selina, let’s start at the beginning. Where did I fall on your list of options to handle this?” Kate asked.

Selina started at the very top of that list. “Bruce is out of town on a company retreat that he couldn’t get out of, and Alfred is still on very strong painkillers after the Condiment King debacle last week. He’s in no shape to be looking after a child, no matter his protests to the contrary.”

“What about Dick?”

“Unavailable. He claimed the Titans were running some vital operation, but I could hear Mar’i making a ruckus in the background.”

“Dick couldn’t lie to save his life. Did you try Barbara?”

“With the Birds on some mission that is so secret that if I continued to ask questions Barbara said she’d hack into every piece of technology I own until the day I die.”

“What about Cass?”

“She’s on patrol duty with Damian, Duke, and Harper tonight.”

“Right. Stephanie?”

“With her mom out of town.”

“Tim?”

“On the moon with his Young Justice friends.”

“How about Batwing?”

“Luke is at the retreat with Bruce and Lucius.”

“How about…” Kate struggled to come up with a name for a second, as they had already run though so many of their mutual masked colleagues. “I don’t know, what about Lian Harper? I hear she babysits superkids.”

“I do not have time to fly out to Star City, hand my baby over to a 12 year old I’ve never met, and then fly out to D-... where I need to be tonight.”

Kate frowned. “You’re seriously not even going to tell me where Harley and Ivy are asking you to meet them?”

Selina was speechless just long enough to incriminate herself before she put on an awkward smile. “What’s a few little secrets between old friends like you and I?”

“Selina,” Kate said as she massaged the area around a newly made scar on her forehead, “aside from everyone else being unavailable, what made you think I could handle something like this in the first place? I don’t know the first thing about-”

“You’re great with kids! You became a mom before I did!”

“I didn’t meet Jamie until she 8, and I haven’t been in the prolonged company of a baby since I was one with my sister.”

“That’s still more experience than I have. There’s really not that much difference between a 1 and 8 year old. Besides, you’ll have Maggie and Jamie to-”

“No I won’t. Mags is in Metropolis visiting a friend until Sunday, and Jamie is at a sleepover.”

“Please, Kate,” Selina pleaded. “I know this is last minute, but that’s only because I just got the call myself. I need someone to look after Helena.”

“Have you considered that this is a job for Superman?”

“Tried. Mrs. Lane-Kent has him occupied tonight. And before you say anything, the other Leaguers I managed to get a hold of are busy.”

Kate went through the list of Bats and friends in her head one more time. Gordon and Leslie didn’t know Selina as well Kate knew her, even if she had been married to Bruce for the past two years. Kate knew Victoria was away at a conference, Bette was still in West Point, Basil was in Hollywood, and Azrael was not to be trusted with anyone’s children. Ever.

“What about Jason?” Kate asked, realizing she had someone failed to mention him earlier.

Selina’s expression suddenly turned serious. “He is not allowed to look after my child alone. Not after last time.”

Kate never did find out all the details of that particular incident. Superheroes had a way of keeping secrets for a variety of reasons, many of which seemed needlessly dramatic. The sum total of Kate’s second hand knowledge of the incident was that Jason Todd recently had sole supervision over Helena Wayne and at least four other children of various Justice League members and associates over the span of 9 hours. The period ended with at least six explosions, the foiling of a Satanic ritual, the loss of a teddy bear’s eye, and 36.4 million dollars of damage to public property. Jason Todd made more enemies that night than he ever had as Robin or Red Hood.

“Fair enough,” Kate replied. Then, she realized something. “Hey, wait a minute. I come after all of the sidekicks when you need someone to watch Helena?”

Selina blinked. “Kate, I’ve been trying to convince you for the past five minutes straight, and now you’re offended that I didn’t come to you sooner?”

“...fair point, but still, on principle, I should’ve been asked first after Bruce and Alfred. I was the first one to the hospital when you gave birth. I even bought a “cool gay aunt” shirt.”

“And a cool gay aunt would leap at the chance to babysit!” 

“Not without help!”

Selina opened her mouth to speak again, but paused before a word escaped her lips. She took a breath, and then placed her free hand on Kate’s shoulder, the diaper bag at her shoulder swinging slightly. The gaze she used on Kate, with those big, beautiful eyes of hers, gave away exactly how she was going to get Kate to do this for her. “Please, Kate. I need you.” Even after all this time, after all the hijinks and misadventures that she had caused, Catwoman could still use that sensual voice of hers to get anything she wanted. Though, the little routine they had together was hampered this time by the presence of her toddler.

“That’s funnier when you do it in front of Bruce,” Kate pointed out, recalling all the times Selina flirted with her to get a reaction out of the grump who she would one day marry, “less funny when you do it in front of your child.”

“I still have some time before she can really understand what’s going on around her. I’m not corrupting her yet.”

Kate sighed. “Fine. Hand her over.”

Selina’s smile grew twice as wide. She turned her child in her arms to face her, planting a series of kisses that only a mother could give. “Alright, Helena,” she cooed, using a motherly tone that Kate didn’t think Selina could use unironically, “you be good for Aunt Katie while mommy’s gone!” She handed both baby and bag to Kate, adding, “I wrote down everything you need to know on a notepad in the bag. Don’t worry, Aunt Katie, you’ll be great.”

“You owe me for this. And don’t call me Katie in front of your kid.”

With the sudden closing of the door, Kate Kane was left alone with the youngest of the Bat children. Helena, being a one year old, looked at her aunt with a confused expression, as one year olds are wont to do. It was something that Kate could sympathize with, as this wasn’t how she envisioned spending the little amount of free time that a life of superheroics allowed her.

After an unbearable amount of silence between the two, Kate asked, “I guess you wanna watch something like Spongebob, huh?”

Helena blew a raspberry in response.

This is going to be a long night, Kate thought.