#i think the idea is ripe for hijinks

[slightlymoldycadaver]

Idea for for a low stakes Danny phantom fic:

A ton of ghosts start setting up a music festival in Amity park. The only reason Danny goes with it is cuz Sam is hyped to finally get to see one of her favorite punk bands live (or undead?...cuz they're ghosts).

The band selection is all over the place, with any ghost willing to join able to showcase the musical styles of their respective eras.

I think it'd be a fun way to remember and explore the fact that a majority of the folks in the ghost zone were, ya know, actual people.

Possible band ideas:

Of course, the aforementioned deceased punk band

A barbershop quartet

A classical composer of your choosing

Those guys who played drums during battles

At least one throat singer

A dusty cowboy with a sad sad song.

And yes, Amber gets to play. But she's gotta pinkie swear not to pull any shit.

[lets-try-some-writing]

hellloooo

i'm not sure how you feel about crossovers from other medias, but IM DYING FOR CONTENT

I feel like bronya zaychik from honkai impact 3rd would be a really interesting mashup, whether it be tfp or any other transformers media. feel free to look anything up if it seems confusing

one, she was born in of a middle of war which then translated to an apocalyptic landscape due to the second honkai war/eruption.

two, she became an assassin at the ripe age of like, 3-4 years old. then later she ended up losing her ability to properly feel emotions and her ability to walk due to an failed experiment

three, later in the game she gets the power to create anything as long as she understands how its made and mainly uses her mechanical robot called Project Bunny, which can also turn into a motorcycle

im honestly focusing on her Herrscher of Reason form, rather than her herrscher of truth form because shes still a sixteen your old psychologically speaking by then.

anyways alien lifeforms from another planet who have been fighting in war for eons on end paired with a teen forced to become an assassin due to war-caused circumstances? everyone bring the popcorn, shits going down.

im not asking you to write something like this, but i would like your opinion! if you dont take requests for stuff like this feel free to chuck this out of the request box lol

tyyyyyyyyyyyyy

I am not usually a fan of crossovers, but it depends on the media. Also please send me anything so long as its SFW. I love seeing ideas and I will gladly give my opinion even if I don't write for it :)

As for your thing here? I do not believe I have ever watched the media in question. However based on what you have written, this could be a very good fic if done properly.

There would need to be a reason for the meeting of these two medias, specifically the characters involved. That is where the most delicate work will have to come into play I think. If the meshing goes south, then the crossover has failed. However if the story has a firm foundation, I can see all sorts of hijinks going down in such an AU.

Project Bunny would be quite fun I think. I imagine the bots of any continuity would be rather put off or even find familiarity there. The character interactions would certainly be interesting based on what information I have been given, but honestly I don't now enough to give a solid assessment.

To put it simply, if you are a dedicated writer who knows your two medias and is willing to do some lore wrangling, I can see this being a fun and interesting story!

[bard-llama]

WiP Wednesday: The Seduction of the Innocent

Okay, firstly, this entire idea is really the brainchild of myself and steveelotaku and we’ve had fun coming up with stuff for it. The title is his suggestion - based on that crackpot book written about Batman and Robin being gay and corrupting the youth of America. It’s PERFECT for a fic that is all about Zuko writing a comic strip to help support his thesis as he goes to Ba Sing Se University lol

Premise: Zuko needs a hobby to keep himself occupied during the idle times of teaserving/vigilantism - and ends up writing. His new BFF Jin also suggests that he apply for Ba Sing Se University when his history of researching the Avatar and their cultures comes out. So Zuko ends up writing a thesis that studying ancient/declining cultures (Air Nomads and the Water Tribes) is worthwhile in the world today (bc the Water Tribes still exist and there’s 1 living Air Nomad). To help make his point/spread knowledge about the different cultures, he and Jin end up creating a comic series about The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar (and co). Through the hijinks of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar traveling around the world (remember, there’s no war in Ba Sing Se), they fight crime and evildoers and teach each other about their cultures.

So, right now I’m thinking this is actually 2 fics: a prequel and a sequel. The prequel will be all about establishing Zuko going to Uni and creating the comic and some of its effects (it’s REALLY popular with kids!). The sequel is when the Gaang (Zuko coined the name) finds out about the comics and read them - and then Aang, who KNOWS who the Blue Spirit is, goes looking for the author to confront them. He suspects it’s Zuko, but he doesn’t actually BELIEVE that it’s really Zuko. After all, how could ZUKO get into Ba Sing Se and why would he write comics explaining how the Air Nomads believed in peace?

(For those that dislike shipping in atla, the sequel will have some Zuko/Aang, but probably T-rated teens dating. Not wholly sure yet, but I think the whole series will be T)

So far, I have a few random scenes written, so I’ll share some snippets here, but also, I HAVE to tell you about what steveelotaku came up with for the comic!!!

The Comics

So like I said, the premise of the comics is: the adventures the Gaang + the Blue Spirit get up to, while fighting off their standard array of villains. (Credit for these goes to steveelotaku, who is incredible and came up with GREAT villains!)

The Big Bad: Fire Lord Ozai

But, I hear you say, there’s no war in Ba Sing Se! So how-? Well, the answer is - Zuko REALLY wanted to draw his dad receiving a pie to the face (look, he’s upset about the whole traitor thing and he needs an outlet) from Aang, so he invented a silly Silver Age Comics campy reason for why the Fire Lord hates the Avatar: the Avatar blew storm clouds over his parade and RUINED his hair! (Ozai hates getting wet 😂)

Other Recurring Villains:

Sparkler, the Princess of Pyromania: Fire-themed villain with a mysterious connection to the Blue Spirit and a grudge against them

The Koan: Basically Buddhist Riddler. "What is the sound of one hand picking your pocket?"  "If a building blows up, and no one is around to see it, did I commit a crime?"

The Cabbage Merchant of Death: Literally just the cabbage merchant, but breeding his cabbages to attack humanity as vengeance for overturning his cart. (The Cabbage Merchant actually loves the comics and his portrayal. Someone recognized his plight! So he taped one of the panels to his cart.)

The Tapestry: Literally a guy dressed in a tapestry who makes horrible weaving jokes and uses sharp threads. "Knit one, purl-oin two gold bars!"

The Ember Island Jester: The only actor to be fired from the Ember Island Players, because his jokes were terrible. His crimes are all theater-themed and he wears a comedy mask. "Four nations, all alike in dignity, all ripe for the plundering!" "It's curtains for you, Blue Spirit! -drops a heavy curtain on him-"

The Nightingale: Basically the Penguin, but with an army of robot nightingales, like in the old Chinese fable about the Emperor who forgot how a nightingale had brought him joy when a mechanical one is given to him, only for it to save him later. Only this time, the Nightingale is some minor noble who got fired and now keeps pestering Ozai with his robot nightingales and Ozai has to call for the Blue Spirit, much to his frustration. "The Nightingale sings the song of your doom!" Aang: "How does that go?" "Uh...doom! DOOM DOOM DOOM! DOOM doom DOOOOOM!"

Okay, so those are our Villains. Now what about our heroes? Remember, the Gaang is being written by Zuko - who may do lots and lots of research and maybe has stalked them on occasion, but still doesn’t really KNOW them.

The Blue Spirit - Zuko goes in hard on the tropes, so the Blue Spirit is totally the broody badboy. He has a secret identity that no one knows. Also, he tells tea jokes and makes tea puns. Iroh is very proud.

Aang, The Avatar - Aang is the epitome of “peace, love, and happiness make the world go round” (real Aang finds this hilarious) but he’s also an incurable prankster

Toph, The Avatar’s Earthbending Teacher - Toph is the buffest, littlest character there is and it is unclear whether she beats villains with her bending or her fists or if the two are one and the same.

Katara, The Avatar’s Waterbending Teacher - Katara is the scariest motherfucker on the team and Zuko stands by that. She has some of the corny “hope” lines, complementing Aang, but mostly, it’s her determination that makes her scary. When she decides something, it happens. (Zuko might be projecting a bit, but he’s not wrong.)

Sokka, The Avatar’s Jester/Strategist - Sokka is the straight forward comic relief and is a walking joke, but he does tend to suggest the plans that work... they’re just very, very ridiculous, in line with Silver Age comics ridiculousness.

And some choice lines by steveelotaku:

"Holy cumulus, Blue Spirit! The Fire Nation's set fire to the tea tree grove!" "The fiends! It's not enough for them to boil it too long--now they're roasting it to ashes!" "Halt, Blue Spirit! Your pathetic crusade of justice stops here!" "It's that suspicious sous-chef of sabotage, Serial Griller! Fire Lord Ozai's right hand cook!" "That's right, Blue Blunder! And today's special is deep fried masked man with a side of Avatar fries!"

"Blue Spirit! Help!" "By the subtle tang of oolong tea! Avatar, you're turning into a were-bison!" Not a trick! Not an imaginary story! The Avatar's best friend might just be his doom! Can Aang and the Blue Spirit survive...THE NIGHT OF THE APPA-LLING WERE-BISON?!

AND NOW, THE SECRET ORIGIN OF THE BLUE SPIRIT: A nameless warrior stands on the battlefield in the pouring rain. Another village massacred, the survivors left for dead. He alone had dared to speak against this heinous crime, and for that he was cast out from the only family he had. Hiding within a teahouse, he took with him the one souvenir of that battle he dared to claim--the mask of the Blue Spirit, a warrior who had fought for justice against his cruel oppressors. Now, the warrior takes the mantle for himself--to find redemption, or die trying!

Snippets:

The Beginning

Zuko needed a hobby, was the thing. He was really, really busy in Ba Sing Se, between being a tea server and being the Blue Spirit. But there was a lot of idle time in both roles and Zuko just needed something to keep him occupied. It wasn’t supposed to turn into a big thing.

Only one day, Jin had caught him writing at the teashop and demanded to read it and… look. It was just a lark. It was just a funny little idea that he was toying with. It didn’t mean anything.

It was in the afternoon lull and Uncle was, fortunately, in the backroom, doing tea things. Meanwhile, Zuko’s only other customer was an old accountant who was always buried in their books and never registered anything going on around them. They liked Pao’s strongest tea.

This meant that there was no one else around to see the look on Jin’s face when she read through his scrawled handwriting – he was much better at writing with a calligraphy brush, but these days, charcoal was as good as it got – depicting a silly dialogue exchange between the Blue Spirt and the Avatar. It was just one of the questions he’d always wanted to ask the Avatar, one that wasn’t really important, but that had bothered him until he’d researched it anyway.

“Li,” she said slowly.

Zuko gulped. “Yeah?”

“This… this is good,” she said with a tone of wonder. “Seriously, I really like this!”

“You… do?” Zuko blinked, not sure what to do with that. “But it’s – it’s–”

“Funny? Enjoyable? Cute?”

“Dumb.”

“Bullshit,” Jin said bluntly. “You’re allowed to enjoy dumb things, Li. As long as it’s fun, what else matters?”

Zuko frowned. That was not a philosophy about life that he was familiar with.

“Do you think the Avatar really throws pies in people’s faces?” Jin asked with a laugh.

“Oh, that bit I can confirm,” Zuko flashed a brief grin. “I found a letter from the King of Omashu to the Southern Air Temple that very specifically said Aang and his friends had pie’d the King’s Guard.”

Jin blinked. “What do you mean, you found a letter?”

“Oh,” Zuko bit his lip, realizing he really shouldn’t have said that. “I, um. I… studied the Avatar. For a long time. And the Air Nomads and the Water Tribes, a little bit.”

“Really?” Jin looked excited, of all things. “That’s so cool! So you were a mini scholar before tragedy struck, huh? Are you gonna try to apply for Ba Sing Se University? You should!”

“I… what?”

“It’s not often someone from the Lower Ring gets accepted,” Jin said, “but it does happen! And I know you’d study really hard and there are scholarships and things to help pay for it. You should try!”

“I’ll… think about it?” Zuko said, taken entirely off guard.

“You should write more, too,” Jin encouraged. “Honestly, it’s a really fun scene. I kinda wanna draw it.”

Jin’s family ran what was probably one of the best places in town to get writing and illustration done on a budget. This meant that Jin spent a lot of time drawing what she called ‘very boring adverts’. He wouldn’t think his scene was that interesting either, but Jin’s face was genuine and she smiled at him.

“Really?” he couldn’t help but ask.

“Yeah, absolutely,” Jin grinned, “just the visual of the Fire Lord getting a pie in the face–” she broke down laughing.

Zuko flushed. It was possible he was a bit upset with his father for marking him as a traitor and sending his sister to bring him home in chains. And it wasn’t like a little pie had ever hurt anyone…

During Zuko’s Tour of Ba Sing Se University (from the POV of the admissions tour guide)

“As part of your curriculum. You don’t study other cultures, like the Water Tribes and the Air Nomads?”

There was a loud scoff from behind Min and she turned to see Professor Lang sneering down his nose at the kid. 

“Of course not,” he said. “What use is there in studying ancient civilizations?”

The kid looked confused for a brief moment… and then he got mad, and wow, he was actually kind of scary underneath that scruffy unkemptness. 

“The Water Tribes aren’t dead! And even if the Air Nomads are, there’s still reason to learn about them!”

“And what, pray tell, would that be?”

The kid had a pretty impressive snarl. “The Earth Kingdom has trade contracts relating to the Water Tribes, who are still alive. And there’s one living Air Nomad now, too!”

Min blinked. What did that mean?

“Pah,” Professor Lang spat. “The Avatar is not part of any culture.”

The what? 

“The Avatar isn’t told until they turn sixteen. Until that age, Avatar Aang was and still is an Air Nomad.”

What!?

“The… Avatar?” Min said vaguely. How had she not heard about this? “The Avatar is back? And they’re an Air Nomad!?”

The kid looked scared for a moment. Perhaps he could sense how closely they danced to the dangerous territory of current events. 

“Yeah,” he said slowly. “We, um. We heard before coming to Ba Sing Se that the Avatar is back. And – and he’s an Air Nomad. So there’s relevance in understanding the Air Nomad culture! Because, like…” he visibly flailed for an example that would be acceptable, “like family!” He held up his finger triumphantly. “Culture affects what words mean. In the Earth Kingdom, family is defined as your clan, tied to you through blood, marriage, or contract. In the Water Tribes, the whole tribe is family and everything is done in service to that family. But to the Air Nomads? They defined family as people chosen based on who you wanted in your life. They did not recognize blood ties.”

Min and Professor Lang both stared at the kid. 

“How – how do you know that?” Professor Lang asked eventually.

The kid froze. “I, um. I did a lot of research on – on the Avatar and, and their cultures. I’m not making it up! One of their core tenets was that the blood of the covenant was thicker than water of the womb, meaning those who share their vows are more kin than those who share their blood. They were more concerned with spirituality and behavior.” The kid sighed heavily. “I wish my old library hadn’t burned. I had some amazing finds.”

Min’s eyebrow arched. That almost made it sound like, despite the current state of things, this kid had some noble background. Well, well. That changed things.

She clapped her hands together. “This sounds like an excellent topic for a thesis, don’t you agree, Professor Lang?”

“A – what?”

“A thesis, of course. You have an argument to make – that ancient/declining cultures still have a role in our society. Through your course of study here at Ba Sing Se, you will learn how to draft an effective argument, backed by primary sources.”

“I had primary sources!” the kid said, sounding strangely offended.

“Of course,” Min allowed.

“You want this disrespectful brat to write a thesis on such an absurd topic!?” Professor Lang burst out.

“He argued his point well, did he not?” Min shrugged, smiling pleasantly. 

“I have another one,” the kid – Li, according to her file – said. “The Air Nomads were pacifists. They didn’t believe in consuming the flesh of any creature, because in their view, violence was abhorrent in any form. So think about it… the – the Avatar’s job is to bring peace and balance to the world, right?”

Min took a sharp breath. That was coming a little too close to–

“Well, Air Nomads were very devoted to peace. They have eighty-seven words for peace, all of which mean different things. Some of which, if applied to the nations by the Avatar, would face significant dissent. So in dealing with the Avatar, it’s important to know that you need to clarify the meaning of things being discussed.”

“And you expect to be ‘dealing with the Avatar’, do you?” Professor Lang sneered.

Li opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “Of course not,” he said, “but that’s precisely why the study of these cultures is so significant! Because if it’s not widespread knowledge, then we’re all at a disadvantage.”

Min clapped, “well said. What is knowledge but a tool for the betterment of ourselves?”

“...right,” Li nodded hesitantly.

(For those curious, Professor Lang knows about Aang because the Gaang and Joo Dee went by the university when they first came to Ba Sing Se - but the visit was kept moderately hush hush, because talking about the Avatar can mean talking about the war. This changes when the comic takes off.)

From the next scene

Jin was pacing in Pao’s Teashop as they all waited excitedly to hear the results of Li’s visit to the university. Mushi was channeling his anxiety into making lots of tea, so Jin was spending far more than she should on new pots, but at least sipping tea gave her something to do.

Finally, Li opened the door – and jerked back as everyone in the teashop – four of the afternoon regulars and Jin, plus one couple that had no idea what was going on – rounded on him.

“Well? How did it go?”

“Uh.” Li scratched his head. “I think I’m a student now?”

Jin blinked. “I thought you were just going to apply?”

“So did I,” Li shrugged. “And then I got into an argument with a professor during the tour–”

Everyone groaned collectively.

“Oh, Nephew,” Mushi sighed, coming out from behind the counter and ushering Li into the room.

“Of course you did,” Jin laughed.

“But it was fine,” Li huffed. “In fact, I think it actually helped me? I guess I’m writing a thesis on the Avatar and also why studying other cultures matters?”

“You’re… what?” Mushi said blankly.

Li shrugged helplessly. “It just kinda happened.”

Now we skip waaaaaaay ahead to the sequel, to when the Gaang (well, Aang specifically) finds out about The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar

It started with an innocently overheard conversation at a bakery near their Upper Ring house while waiting for the new pies to cool.

“Did you read it?” one girl hissed to another. “Did you see!?”

“Yes!” the second girl sounded so excited that it was hard to control her volume. “I told you! It’s real! Spiritar is canon!”

“I just can’t believe it,” the only boy amongst the group murmured. “I didn’t see it coming at all.”

“That’s because you never listen to us,” the first girl sniffed. “I called the Blue Spirit x Avatar Aang coming from miles away.”

The… what?

Aang blinked, turning to stare at them. “I’m sorry, did you say Avatar?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, who’s asking – oh sweet spirits, it’s the Avatar!” the boy looked like he was about to hyperventilate.

“Um. Hi,” Aang waved awkwardly.

The two girls squeaked and flushed red. “Hi,” they managed, one more easily than the other.

“Did you say something about – about the Blue Spirit and the Avatar?”

“Oh spirits,” the second girl whispered under her breath. “Oma and Shu, why would you do this to us?”

“Um?”

“Okay, so,” the first girl cleared her throat. “Um, let’s start at the beginning. Are you familiar with The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar?”

“The… huh?” Aang’s mouth twisted in confusion. Who was the Blue Spirit and what did they have to do with him?

There was a cleared throat from next to them and another woman in the bakery stood behind them. “Hi, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear and – I have a binder just for this purpose.” She pulled out a thick binder full of papers and thudded it down on the table. Then she opened it to a page that had two figures cut out from an inked illustration. One was obviously Aang, though his arrows weren’t quite that big – but the other… the other was–

“The Blue Spirit, you called them?” Aang asked, staring at the mask that he remembered with stark distinction. If the stranger in the mask hadn’t saved him…

But then, of course, the stranger turned out to not be so strange after all. Aang could still feel the rough bark under his fingers as he played with it, waiting for Zuko to wake up.

If we knew each other then, do you think we could’ve been friends? he’d asked, and Zuko hadn’t actually answered, but the blast of fire spoke many words.

“You don’t know them?” the girls all looked up at him with a broken sort of hope.

“I – I do,” Aang answered hesitantly. “But I never got their name.”

“Yes!” two of them high fived and Aang just stared at them. “Uh, sorry.”

“Anyway,” the girl with the binder said, “The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar, originally simply titled the Blue Spirit, is a serial comic created by Li and Jin. They’re two artists in the Lower Ring, if you can believe that. But Li attends Ba Sing Se University!”

“Uh. Okay?”

She cleared her throat, flushing. “Um, at any rate, the comics are aimed at children and Li has been recorded as saying that he wanted to explain cultural differences through a fun story. And they deliver! The characters are great, the dialogue is snappy, the illustration is beautiful, and the plots are silly but fun.”

“Nothing will ever top the Fire Lord getting pie’d in the face, though,” the first girl said nostalgically.

“What?” Aang asked.

“Oh, I have that in my binder!” The girl flipped through several pages and landed on a comic panel pasted onto the paper. It depicted – exactly what they said. Fire Lord Ozai – who Aang had never actually seen in person, but he had seen a few paintings and it looked pretty accurate – receiving a cream pie to the face. Actually, the pie was drawn pretty well, too – it even had the lemon curd filling that Aang and Master Gyatso used to add for extra gooeyness.

That was surely just a coincidence, though. Right? It wasn’t like the Blue Spirit could really be–

“It’s a really famous picture now,” the girl with the binder whispered to Aang. “It’s the only thing like it that hasn’t been censored by the Dai Li. See, in The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar, the Fire Lord has a legitimate reason to hate the Avatar.”

…was stopping him from destroying the world not legitimate?

“Oh?”

“Oh, I love this one. Show him the comic strip!”

“Here it is!”

Aang looked down to see a single panel of Fire Lord Ozai, this time wailing, “my hair!”

“Uh…”

“The Avatar was flying a kite,” one girl explained, “and he was messing with the wind currents – but it made storm clouds fall on the Fire Lord’s parade and ruined his hair!” They all chortled. “Literally you rained on his parade!”

Aang… did not know how to react to that.

“So anyway, the Avatar and his friends join the Blue Spirit and fight crime and evildoers!”

“Yeah, the Blue Spirit is a vigilante, you know that, of course,” one girl said and actually, Aang had not known that. “So they team up with the Avatar and with the whole Gaang–”

“Pardon?”

“Oh yeah, isn’t it great? It’s ‘gang’ but with 2 ‘a’s, like your name! To encompass all of you together!”

Aang hummed. He did like it, actually. Sokka would be upset that he hadn’t come up with it.

Especially if the person who did come up with it was really–

But surely it couldn’t be. How would Zuko have even gotten into Ba Sing Se?

From the confrontation between Aang and Zuko after Aang tracks down the creators of the comics (with some shippiness)

“Soooo,” Jin drawled, sprawling in a booth in the otherwise empty teashop, “guess what happened today?”

Zuko, busy wiping down a table, didn’t answer.

“C’mon, guess! It’ll interest you, I promise.”

“I dunno. You… had an idea for a comic?”

“That happens every day, Li,” she said flatly.

Zuko sighed. “Just tell me.”

“Fine, fine,” Jin paused, making him wait, and then she burst out, “the Avatar came by the shop!”

Zuko froze, blood draining from his face. The Avatar. The Avatar was here. The Avatar was here and knew about the comics, elsewise why would he have gone to Jin’s family’s shop?

Oh, this couldn’t be good.

“Li? You okay?”

Before Zuko could answer – negatively – the door to the teashop opened and the Avatar walked inside.

Zuko wanted to die. This was it. This was the end of him. This was when his cover would get blown and everyone would know and hate him and–

“Hi,” Aang greeted them pleasantly. “I’m looking for Li.”

Zuko just about swallowed his tongue. There was no way that Aang had failed to recognize him. The change in hairstyle did not make up for the huge disfiguring scar.

Raising a shaking hand, Zuko managed a strangled, “I’m Li.”

The Avatar smiled. What even–?

“I thought it might be you,” Aang said. “But I also kind of thought I was probably wrong.”

Not having any idea what to say, all Zuko could do was swallow drily.

“Huh,” Jin said, “you really have met the Avatar.”

Zuko flushed. “I told you!”

“You say lots of things, though,” Jin contested. Usually, Zuko was grateful that she let his slip ups go so easily, but right now, he was just annoyed.

“I don’t lie,” he frowned. That was a rule for him. His whole identity may be a lie, but at least he would do his best to live honorably.

Aang coughed and Zuko flushed brighter, jerking his attention back to the man who, technically, was still his enemy.

“Sorry,” Jin laughed, holding out her hand, “hi, I’m Jin. I hear you went by my family’s shop earlier looking for us?”

“You’re the illustrator?” Aang asked.

“Yep, that’s me!” Jin beamed, showing off her chipped teeth.

“Wow. You do a really good job of showing different places,” Aang complimented and Zuko stared. What was even happening?

“Oh, that’s all thanks to Li,” Jin demurred. “Sometimes I dunno whether his descriptions are accurate or not, but he believes in them so much that it just seems right to go with it.”

Zuko groaned, slapping a hand to his face. “Jin…”

Aang smiled wider and it made Zuko’s heart pound, cheeks turning pinker. “Well, you both create very good comics,” Aang said casually, as though Zuko wasn’t close to expiring on the spot.

“You – you read them?” Zuko croaked.

“Of course,” Aang said. “We had to see what was being written about us!”

Oh. Great. So all of Aang’s friends had read them. Fuck.

Oh Agni, did that include the most recent issue? Maybe he was lucky for once in his life and it didn’t–

Aang pulled out a comic and the cover was quite familiar. Jin had drawn the Blue Spirit in the middle in a ridiculous pose that really emphasized his butt – even moreso than the original draft, because Jin was an asshole and made the change after he complained. Behind the Blue Spirit were various headshots of the Gaang – Zuko came up with the name and he was rather proud of it – with little hearts all around them.

The cover proclaimed, ONE OF THESE PEOPLE IS THE BLUE SPIRIT'S SOULMATE – BUT WHO!? and the story was all about one of the regular villains, Sparkler – who totally wasn’t Azula – trying to find the Blue Spirit’s lover to blackmail him. After she was defeated, the true lover was revealed… with a kiss, because of course it was.

Zuko felt like he might cry at the absurdity of this being how his life falls apart (again).

“Sooooo, um…” Aang started and Zuko could not look at him.

“In my defense,” Zuko started, his mouth absolutely disconnecting from his brain, “it was a reader request.”

Aang tilted his head. “What does that mean?”

“Oh, you don’t read the letters at the end of the issue?” Jin asked, “you really should, they’re quite fun. We answer questions and requests from readers – mostly kids, but sometimes their parents, too.”

“And a kid… asked about–?”

Zuko just nodded mutely, but Jin – the traitor! – explained, “they asked about who the Blue Spirit’s soulmate would be. And obviously – ow!” Zuko elbowed her hard in the side, but it was too late. Aang’s eyebrows were high.

“‘Obviously’?”

“I mean, have you read the flirting?” Jin asked. “Li writes fantastic banter, doesn’t he?”

“Fucking hell, Jin, shut up!” Zuko hissed, and he was sure that his face was hot enough to be steaming. Hopefully Jin wouldn’t question it.

“Oh, all right, all right, I’ll let you two talk alone. But don’t forget the afternoon rush will be soon!”

So saying, Jin sidled out the door, headed back to work. The Avatar opened his mouth as soon as she was gone and Zuko quite abruptly wanted her back. He scrambled around for a change of topic and grasped the teapot next to him.

“Tea! Would – would you like some tea? We have–”

“I liked the tea jokes in the comics,” Aang said calmly. How was he calm when Zuko was about to shake out of his skin?

The pottery clattered slightly from his trembling hands, but he served Aang a cup of jasmine tea. “Those mostly came from Uncle,” he murmured.

“Well, they were fun,” Aang said, taking the cup and immediately sipping it as though it hadn’t been poured by his enemy. Then he smiled. “Jasmine. I like jasmine. It was my mentor’s favorite.”

“I know,” Zuko said without thinking.

“You… know?” Aang blinked. “How?”

“Uh.” Oh Agni, how was he supposed to explain this. “One of the Elders at your temple kept a journal. It survived.”

Aang stared. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Zuko nodded. “Monk Tashi. He complained about how often you got into trouble and how Monk Gyatso only encouraged it.”

Aang inhaled sharply, breath hitching at Gyatso’s name. Zuko could only imagine how much the loss hurt him. If Zuko ever lost Uncle…

Okay, that’s all I got, but I’m very excited for this series, so I hope you enjoy!

[spectershaped]

The specific...register? Mode? that Venture Bros is going for intrigues me. I incorrectly named it a "pastiche" before - turns out, I had the wrong idea of what the word meant, oops! It's very much a spoof, but it covers a fairly nebulous spectrum of Spoofable Material and I think that itself is very interesting... It sort of encompasses the superhero genre as well as old action cartoons and comics, plus Brock himself is kind of a nod to less child-friendly hypermasculine action (anti)heroes - which stuff do all these things have in common?

Parody of something can be done from various angles; superhero deconstructions (and reconstructions) have been done all sorts of ways (What If Superman But Bad can branch out into lots of fun rabbit holes - worth noting that VB lacks several of the standard superhero archetpes), and the manifold chauvinism either baked or tossed into many an adventure serial is ripe for lampooning. But the show neither veers deep into deconstruction nor sacrifices a general sense of continuity and characterization for the sake of over-the-top grim humor (generally); it goes into fun hijinks with the larger than life hero/villain dynamics and aesthetics, but it feels like it's digging into something I can't quite see yet

[goblincow]

Thanks @theresattrpgforthat for the opportunity, glad to oblige!

The Perilous Pear & Plum Pies of Pudwick (TPPAPPOP) is a special upcoming full-colour issue of The Undercroft published by the Melsonian Arts Council compatible with all your favourite indie dungeon-crawlers!

Initially announced as The Undercroft #13, I've since moved house three times, gotten covid three times and had the equivalent of a part time job fighting with the Department for Work and Pensions for disability support for myself and my partner - so since it was first announced nearly three years ago progress has been stop and start!

However the end is in sight as I'm wrapping up the last of the illustrations, all hand drawn and digitally coloured in a limited palette like this one:

So what's the book about?!

Well, here's my working blurb!

A well-meaning outsider brings reckless colonial magic into a small community on the eve of the local bake off. Hijinks ensue as chitinous consequence follows behind on a thousand scuttling limbs.

Explore the dawn of a new insectoid world ripe for adventure! Shrink down to size and take your first furtive steps into a brand new world living inside a sapient pear tree filled to the brim with insect NPCs, communities & conflicts and their (relatively) ancient secrets.

Unravel the mystery at the heart of the tree, and make your (proportionately) tiny mark - will you do more harm than good in these dawning civilisations, and how will you ever decide the destiny of a world that was never yours to discover?

The first handful of pages invite players into the inciting chaos at the food festival, and the rest of the book is a hexflower labyrinth-crawl inside the tree. But the clock is ticking: you'd better get in and out before you rapidly grow back to regular size - an explosive & messy demise for you, the tree and the world inside!

Each hex contains an evocative location description and a d4 table of encounters or d3 table of vignettes that hold all manner of weird-fantasy wonders. There are various deeply interconnected factions active in the tree, from the empire of the ants contesting the ladybirds for control of the aphid farms, to the Pear Republic citizens who live under the grip of the infamous Stinking Bishop, to the ragtag group of outcast adventurers whose staging ground is a half-buried porcelain gnome.

Smart, easy to reference layout has been a really important pillar of my design process from the beginning - my very first draft actually directly copied the style of Old School Essentials adventures, but I've massively developed on the reading experience a lot since I began to hit the best of both worlds re: reading experience and table usability, with a rainbow of limited colour illustrations and a focus on short compelling prose with matching coloured/bolded key-words for easy reference throughout the book.

If you enjoyed the world of Hollow Knight and are very patiently waiting for Silksong (like me!), and if you enjoyed Bug Fables, Honey I Shrunk The Kid, or another big inspiration of mine - The Legend of Zelda: Minish Cap - then this is the book that's going to scratch those bug-lovin' itches just right! Keep an eye out for anything I tag with #TPPAPPOP on this closing stretch (just a couple of months left I think) to know when the book is finally available!

--------

If you want to know more, pick a page number from 3-51 (I made good use of the back inside cover with a loot table directly inspired by the fantastic I Search The Body table in the Mothership module Dead Planet) and I'll give a little excerpt!

This is without a doubt the best writing and illustration work I've ever done so I'd love an opportunity to share it - thanks to @rathayibacter for the idea!

The Perilous Pear & Plum Pies of Pudwick, pg. 36

release date: TBC

publisher: Melsonia (The Undercroft special full-colour 48 page fully-illustrated issue)

format: oldschool-style weird fantasy hexcrawl adventure compatible with all oldschool systems

genre: shrink to insectoid size and adventure into the uncanny world that exists inside a sapient, talking pear tree

this image is fresh from the exports folder - project links and full pitch to follow in future pinned posts

[ravelights]

Izuku travels back in time fix it AU...with a twist.

11 pm idea that hit me one night (might have been done before but hey, here's my turn at the idea) Izuku is transported back into his Five year old self, and has the chance to do everything all over again; and makes things right this time...

But there are several problems getting in the way of saving everyone, namely that he's a quirkless five year old, that has none of his friends, allies or strength he had in his teens. All of them don't know he exist, plus half of them are toddlers. There's also a lot of stuff that won't happen until much later, not to mention he isn't sure how a lot of stuff came to be. He has no idea how Dabi survived were toga grew up, and Tomura has already killed his family four years prior and is living somewhere with All for One.

He knows won't get OFA until he's fifteen, and he's not even sure he might this time around. Because changing history means that All Might won't get injured and never have a reason to pass it on. Getting it when he's four would be impossible since he's young, and because people might not believe him when he say's he from the future, and can he blame them?

So after thinking over all the options, Izuku decides that if he can't be a hero, then he's going to be a villain...or at least pretend to be one so that he can stop the villains before they become huge threats. Basically Izuku decides to fight fire with fire, which he cranks up to 100 because he know a way to get a strong power that could go toe to toe with All for One and the person to go to get it from.

So Izuku sneaks into All for One doctors office and get's a hold of the replica of All for One quirk, with added hijinks. Now Izuku my have the replica nicely stored away in a glass tube, but he doesn't know how to acquire it... so he just decides to eat it because it worked the first time.

It's not meant to work like that, but for Izuku it does, after falling sick for like three days. Because eating a quirk wasn't the best idea. But who cares Izuku now got All for One, foresight on future events and his New villain career to kick off at the ripe old age of five.

And boy does he go off with a bang, by breaking Nagant out of Tartarus (Izuku needed a body guard, and Nagant was innocent), convincing hawks to run away from the HC (it was Nagant idea really) and recruiting the number two hero eldest son (Well Toya more recruited himself) among other things.

This unsurprisingly, this get's All for One's attention, but Izuku sure that he won't get caught because who would expect "quirkless five year old Deku" to the the next be up and coming villain? Apparently All for One, because the guy awkwardly walks in to his preschool one day, picks him up and is both quite shocked and amused to find this villain, that's been causing the Hero commission so much strife, is just a four year old boy.

Izuku thinks this might be the end, but instead of snipping of this bud before it grow, All for One decides he'll let Izuku keep doing what he's doing, because the whole things amusing. Except Izuku still "only a baby, not quite a big bad villain yet" so All for One will be "probably supervising" Izuku growth into villainy.

Izuku doesn't know weather to yell in joy at getting a one up on All for One or scream in anguish that now he's got the worst villain in the world making him his personal pet project.

Izuku decides to burn that bridge when he get's there.

I have more of this AU if anyone wants to know about it, but just baby toddler villain Izuku getting followed around by his older villain father, during his first errands. All dress up in his preschool uniform carry several books on "how to commit crimes and get away with it" well telling AFO to buzz off.

[thebiggestnope]

Prophetic Hijinks: Elena + Breeding Kink Bruno

NSFT. 18+. Minors scram. CW: Breeding kink, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering Last week I was chatting with @prophetic-hijinks how I think her version of Bruno would have a breeding kink. So I wrote this smut drabble about it. If you aren't reading the @prophetic-hijinks comics (and the racier blog @hijinks-after-dark) you're fucking up.

Elena belongs to @prophetic-hijinks. Bruno's Breeding Kink

It could happen any time he and Elena made love, and the thought was driving him wild.

He and Elena knew that they were going to have twins. The vision tablet proving it was hanging framed in their bedroom. So the question wasn’t if Elena would get pregnant. It was when.

They’d scanned the tablet together for clues as to the timing, but to no avail. “It’s exciting, isn’t it?” Elena had said when they’d recognized they’d get no further hints. “All the other moments from the vision have come to pass already, ​​so that means whenever we make love, it could be the moment we conceive.”

Bruno had agreed with her – it was exciting. Any time the two of them joined, it might be the start of their family. The thought had made his heart flutter. 

But in the days that followed, Bruno realized that Elena’s revelation had affected him far beyond a fluttery heart. Every time the two of them were intimate, he’d found himself thinking about how this might be the time that he got Elena pregnant and it… did something to him. He’d picture all of it: Elena ripe with his seed as her stomach filled out and her breasts swelled to nourish his children. Elena as a mother, warm and sweet and elated. Himself becoming a father and getting the future they both wanted.

He’d think about how he had the power to bring on all of that change – to grow his wife’s body, to alter their lives, to create new life – and it would send him reeling. He’d go feral with passion, taking hold of Elena’s hips and bottoming out in her.

Elena had noticed his increased enthusiasm – not only had Bruno been more ardent in their private moments, he’d also been asking for her to play him a lot more love songs than usual. (“Elena, would you play me a love song?” was Bruno code for, “Elena, would you like to be intimate with me?”) She enjoyed the attention, but she was curious what had gotten into him.

One evening she decided to finally ask him. Bruno had led her back to their room after dinner – for a love song, of course – and when they were alone behind closed doors, Bruno took her by the hand and kissed her with more fervor than she was accustomed to from her timid husband, his aching erection already pressing into her.

“Mi amor, so amorous for me lately,” she said with a gentle laugh when Bruno came up for air.

Bruno flushed. “Heh. You’ve noticed?”

“Yes, and I love it,” she said, quick to reassure him. She kissed him again to show him just how much she loved it. “But is there a reason?”

Bruno smiled at her shyly. “I’ve been thinking about what you said – about how any time we’re together, it could be the time we start our family.” He placed his hand on her stomach, his long fingers stretching across her. “I guess it’s been making me rather… eager lately.”

Elena sighed happily. “Oh Bruno, that’s so sweet.” She looked him over – his eyes brimming with adoration for her, his cheeks red with excitement. “You know,” she said, her tone sultry. “If you’re so eager, there are certain positions we can do that will, ah, make it easier to conceive. You might like to try them.”

Bruno’s eyes widened. “You mean they don’t all work?”

Elena giggled. “They all work, but some of them work better than others. Really the idea would be to make it easy for you to get deep and to be in a position that keeps the, ah, results inside me.”

Bruno inhaled slowly. “Dios mio.”

Elena gave him a heated look from under her eyelashes. “Another way is to make sure I finish when you’ve already… filled me.”

Bruno swallowed. “I think I can arrange that.”

Elena took his hand and led him to the bed. “Then arrange it for me, Papi.”

Bruno groaned and kissed her again, letting his hands wander everywhere. He found himself picturing what Elena looked like pregnant – he’d seen it for himself in his vision – and the next thing he knew, his passion had taken over. He got rid of his own clothes and tugged at hers, pulling off her dress and bloomers, his hands more confident than usual as they explored her body. Elena’s breathing was growing heavy, and Bruno could feel himself getting dizzy with how much he needed her. 

“Want me to show you one of those positions I was talking about?” Elena whispered.

Bruno nodded. “Okie dokie.” As the words left his mouth, he scolded himself. Why did he still say such stupid stuff in the heat of the moment?

Elena didn’t comment on it; she merely smiled at him. Then she got onto her back, lifted her hips, and put a pillow under her sacrum. “Come here, Papi,” she said, and Bruno groaned again. He positioned himself between Elena’s legs and gasped as he entered her. The angle of her hips let him get so deep – so impossibly deep. He trembled as he lay on top of her, feeling her heated skin against his own, and so felt close to his wife, so close to the future they were making together, that he had to fight back tears.

Elena began to buck her hips against him, and he matched her rhythm, losing himself to her, staying connected with her body as they moved in time with each other. He’d come to realize lately that Elena could know his body better than he did, because he hadn’t realized how close he was until Elena whispered hot in his ear, “Cum for me, Bruno. Fill me up. Give us our babies.”

Bruno moaned and held onto Elena as he pumped her full of his seed, making sure to give her every last drop. Elena’s hips were still twitching when he finished, and her voice was husky as she moaned for Bruno to finish her. With her hips still elevated on the pillow, Bruno worked her with his long piano fingers until she followed him over the edge, and for a long while afterwards they held each other, spent and happy.

“You know, it’s funny,” she said after a time. “After so many years with Carlos, and after so many years of trying for a baby, it’s still a wonder to me that any of this is happening at all.”

Bruno never thought of himself as a traditionally masculine man, or as a particularly virile one, but remembering that he was besting Carlos in yet another area of Elena’s life made his heart speed up.

“Hey Elena,” Bruno asked as he curled his arm around her body. “Would you like to play another love song?”

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2021 anime overview: Quick Takes

Now for my Spring 2021 anime thoughts! I’ve decided from now on if a season’s like, 20- to-24 episodes I’m just going to wait ‘til it’s done to review it unless I feels super passionately, so though I watched To Your Eternity (it’s good!) and MHA (eh), I’ll comment on them next time. Also, for the record, I watched the first eight eps of Joran: Princess and Snow of Blood but I dropped it because it had clearly crossed the line from entertainingly dumb to boring dumb. 

I will probably give Supercub and some other stuff a shot later, this was a stacked season! May give updates on all that later, but this is what I have for now.

ODDTAXI

Quick Summary: A mild mannered middle-aged walrus taxi driver is drawn into a case involving a missing girl, yakuza, Youtube clout-chasers, manzai comedians and idols with big secrets.

It’s rare to walk away from media and be like “that is a singular experience I will definitely never see repeated again” but ODDTAXI is definitely one of those. A tense noir thriller murder mystery starring cartoon animals that spends an entire episode detailing the one (cat)man’s very fall into darkness triggered by addiction to gacha games and an online auction for a novelty eraser? Also there’s a porcupine Yakuza who speaks entirely in rap? Also there’s tons of meandering conversations about stuff like manzai comedy and the struggle to go viral on Twitter?

Admittedly, I had a hard time getting into the first episode, the dry meandering humor not being enough to hold my attention while I was sitting still, but once I watched this while I was working out at the end of the season, I found it an easy binge. A ton of characters with dark secrets or dangerous ambitions, each with their own part to play in a tableau of intersecting events- and it all actually comes together really well.(As for the female characters, it’s a pretty dude driven story, but they do get nuanced characterization and even some good heroic moments from one of them.)

 It’s a great example of a carefully planned narrative paying off, with all the twists appropriately seeded and foreshadowed to reward viewers who paid attention. Even when it ended on a perfect “OH SHIT” moment and denied me closure, I couldn’t help but respect it. If you that all sounds interesting to you, definitely check out the first couple episodes and see if you like it- you’re likely to have a memorable, satisfying experience!

Shadows House

Quick Summary: Emilyko is a ‘living doll’ who’s told she was created to act as the ‘face’ of her shadow master, Kate. The shadows and their ‘dolls’ all reside on the mansion and are required to pass a ‘debut’ to prove they’re a good pairing. If they don’t pass, they might be disposed of. And so the mystery of the Shadow mansion grows...

This slice of gothic intrigue was my favorite of the season, tied with ODDTAXI. With an interesting premise, slightly tense undertones and a strong focus on character building and relationships, it kept me hooked the whole way through. And for any squeamish fans put off by the hype about it, don’t worry, while there are some suspenseful elements, I wouldn’t qualify it as horror. I thought the relationship between Kate and Emilyko might end up being a completely sinister one, but it’s thankfully a lot more complex than that and it’s really interesting to follow how both their characters and relationship grow. The focus of the show is, unsurprisingly, on the “dolls” slowly discovering their autonomy and personhood as they struggle under the rigid system imposed on them by the mysterious elders of this weird Victorian mansion. Can they develop a more equitable relationship with their shadow “masters” (who are also shown to suffer under this system)? There’s a lot to dig into there, and the show has the characters develop through learning to understand and appreciate each other, which is pretty heartwarming. Our hero, Emilyko, is the typical plucky ball of sunshine (they even nickname her sunshine), but she’s also shown to be clever in her own off-the-wall way and she bounces off the far more subdued and cynical Kate well, not to mention the other ‘dolls’ she ends up befriending. 

What’s more, the show spends plenty of time to developing several other character pairings and combinations, and they all have their own interesting dynamic that makes you want to see more of them. Same-gender bonds are at the forefront of this show, and many of them are ripe for queer readings (I definitely appreciated the healthy helping of ladies carrying ladies), but even outside that it’s nice to see a show where a strong, complex bond between girls is at the forefront. My only real complaints about the show are the anime original ending is noticeably a bit rushed (though it’s not too bad, and leaves room for a season 2) and I wish the animation used the whole “shadow” theme more strikingly (like the opening and endings do)- instead the colors are a bit washed out which makes the shadows blend into the background sometimes. The “debut” arc also drags a bit in places, but it makes up for it by having a lot of good character integration.

I hope to check out the (full color)! manga soon and see more of this quirky, shadowy story. There’s some physical abuse depicted, sad things happening to characters and naturally the whole “oppressive familial system” thing, but otherwise not much I can think of to warn about. I give this one a big rec, especially If you’re a fan of gothic fairytales and stories of self discovery.  

Zombie Land Saga Revenge

Quickest summary: In this sequel season, everyone’s favorite zombie idol group must claw their way back into prominence after a disastrous show- the fate of the Saga prefecture LITERALLY depends on it!

This was a fun follow-up to the first season- if you liked the first zombie-girl romp, you’ll probably enjoy this one. In fact, there were a couple areas it improved on- namely, Kotaro failed, ate crow and embarrassed himself a lot more this season, which made him more likeable (as did the fact the girls gained a lot of independence from him). This season also shed more light on what the ‘goal’ of this zombie raising project is and what kind of shit Kotaro got involved with to make this happen, and it’s appropriately off-the-wall and ridiculous. We finally got some backstory for Yugiri too! I wish it had focused on more of her interiority, but she got to be a badass in it, and it was a treat to see this zombie idol show turn into a period piece for a couple episodes (also her song ruled).

 Tae also got a cute focus episode and there was a particular SMASHING performance early on! Also That revelation last season that had the potential to turn creepy hasn’t yet, and hopefully never will. The finale was heartwarming with big hints of more drama to come- I’m definitely down for more zombie hijinks!

Vivy: Flourite Eye’s Song

Quickest Summary: A songstress AI named DIVA (nicknamed Vivy) is approached by another AI named Matsumoto, who says he’s from the future and they must work together to prevent AI exterminating all of humankind 100 years from now.

This show is absolutely gorgeous visually with some really nice action scenes, but when it comes to the story my feelings basically amount to a shrug. It’s fine! I guess! Vivy starts out as an interesting layered character- and I guess still is by the end- with her stoic but stubborn determination bouncing off her fast-talking bossy partner Matsumoto well. She never listens to him, which is delightful. The way the show took place over the course of 100 years was an interesting conceit as well. However, it bought up a lot of themes and then sort of... dropped them. For instance, Vivy interprets her mission (PRIME DIRECTIVE if you will) as protecting humans at all costs, no matter how destructive said humans are or what their fate is supposed to be, and is perfectly willing to murder her fellow androids to do this, showing she inherently thinks of androids (herself and her own people!) as less worthy. Which is a little alarming! There’s a very dramatic point in the show where they bring this up as a potential conflict for her character but then it’s sort of...dropped. Pretty much.

Actually, despite the premise, the show doesn’t dip into the “AI rights” as much as you think it would with the main theme being more about Vivy’s search to find her own creativity and discover what it means to ‘pour your heart into something’. Vivy herself doesn’t actually care if she has rights or anything. Which is in some ways fine, because ‘AI as an oppressed class’ has been done to death, but IT’S ALSO KIND OF IN THE PREMISE, so that means that the show just shrugs really hard at a lot of the questions it brings up  basically just going “humans and AI should work together probably” and that’s it. There’s a lot that feels underexplored. The antagonists in the show also either have motivations that don’t really make sense or have boring hackneyed motivations. In the finale in particular, it feels like a lot of things happen “just because” and it falls a little flat.

I also have to warn that one of the arcs focus on a robot ‘pairing’ where the dude-coded robots actions toward his partner are straight up awful and rob her of her autonomy, but it’s played like a tragic love story. I suppose you could read it differently too, but it definitely made me go ‘ew’ the story seemed to want me to sympathize with this robo dude,

Overall, I wouldn’t anti-recommend this show, it’s an all right little sci-fic romp (and definitely SUPER pretty). My favorite element was definitely the episodes where Vivy develops an entirely new (an loveable) personality, because it played with the idea of of an AI getting “rebooted” really well and interplay between her two “selves” was done really well. But there are a lot of other parts of the show that just feel...a little underexplored and empty, making me have an ‘eh’ feeling on the show overall. It’s definitely an ambitious project, and while it didn’t quite stick the landing, there’s something to be said for a show that shoots for the stars and falls short over a show that just languishes in mediocrity.

Fruits Basket The Final

Quick summary: The final season of that dramatic drama about that weird family with a zodiac curse and the girl who loves them.

It’s very weird that after not cutting a lot out, they kinda sped through some material for, you know, the finale. I guess they thought they couldn’t stretch this final arc to 26 episodes? Or weren’t cleared for another double cour? However, though there were a couple places that felt awkward, despite being a bit condensed it mostly held together pretty well for a D R A M A T I C and ultimately heartwarming conclusion. I was really disappointed they kept the part where Ritsu cut their hair for the ‘happy ending’, I thought  their intro episode not showing them in men’s clothes meant the anime had decided their presentation didn’t need to be “fixed” but WELL I GUESS NOT. That was the only big upset for me though, otherwise the adaptation went about how I expected, sticking to the source material. Furuba has a lot of bumps, from weird age gap stuff to ...gender, but it also has a lot of important feels and great character arcs. It was a gateway shoujo for many and has its important place in animanga history, so I’m glad it finally got a shiny, full adaptation.

[voiceless-terror]

hm... a) now thinking of jondanny au where he somehow ends up trying to set Jon up with Martin AND Tim ("hm, he seems to like this Martin fellow but I KNOW he and Tim would be great together and it seems that Tim and Martin are also fond of each other AND--") and b) I would like Danny and Georgie to meet. I don't know why. I simply wish it to be so. [Handshake meme reading "Amazing Exes That Try To Make Jon Do A Self Care"]

an AU version where 'helpful ex' danny tries to set jon up in a polycule with his brother is RIPE for hijinks, anon.

and i LOVE the idea of danny and georgie meeting. cause i feel like you have a lot of 'georgie dated JON?' reactions from characters in fanfic and i want to turn that on its head and have the two of them meet like 'of course we both dated jon, we have good taste :)'

[lesbian-bird-talks]

As someone who is constantly looking for vocaloid headcanons, give them all please :)

AAHHH I HAVE A LOT

Miku

Has a bit of an ego, because what 16 year old with international fame wouldn't?

People expect her to be super squeamish and hate bugs until they see her squash a giant roach with no hesitation or pick up a spider

Bugs are her frends :)

With that said she hates things like fish and frogs and anything slimy. Not scared of it just thinks they're gross.

Has a weird rivalry going on with Rin and Len. She refuses to actually acknowledge them as her competition because "that's childish and I'm not a child anymore >:[" but also gets 100x more competitive when either of them gets involved.

Girl boss. Has a big personality, good work ethic even if she acts like a brat sometimes, doesn't take shit from other people.

I think she'd be very similar to Nobara from Jujutsu Kaisen tbh, but slightly less crass.

She wears her heart on her sleeve, and tends to use her hair to emote. She'll tug on it a bit when she's angry or overwhelmed, use it to hide her face when she's embarrassed or scared

Speaking of which she isn't AS devious as Rin and Len but she definitely gets up to some hijinks. Some hoodlum activity.

She goes with the twins feigning that she's there to keep them in line and then when they're like "we should put firecrackers under Meiko's toilet seat :]" she is suddenly deaf.

"god they're such kids 😒" she says as she is holding back laughter at the idea of the firecrackers going off.

I also just think that becoming a pop star at the ripe old age of 16 would have forced her to grow up rather fast. So she can be mature but everyone makes her feel safe enough to let out the Gremlin™ just a little. As a treat.

Her easy to approach, affable face she puts on for shows and shit is definitely a facade though, and behind all that she's just a girl who really likes French fashion and reading romance manga.

OKAY ADDING MORE NOW! I posted this,,,so long ago Jesus I kept forgetting to come add onto it.

(idk how to add breaks on mobile pretend there's one right here)

Luka

You know those characters who usually have their eyes closed and only open them when they get serious? Yeah I imagine her personality being like that

Perpetual Big Sister Smile™. Always looks gentle and friendly, but gets much more threatening when she needs to be. Other vocaloids take bets on whether she runs an underground fighting ring or if she's secretly a member of the yakuza

In reality she's just a gentle soul who learned quickly to not let others mistake her kindness for weakness. She is the opitome of "be soft but be ready"

Just Be Friends is a song she wrote about Kaito, they used to date until she realized she was a lesbian. The two of them are still very close! Ice cream man and his short, pink-haired body guard.

Being friends with Kaito means she's developed a sixth sense for when people are about to get hurt, since he's a bit of a klutz. Whenever Rin and Len's pranks are about to backfire she's right there to stop everything from exploding in their faces. Literally.

But she tends to let most of it slide as long as nobody is getting hurt. She enjoys watching the chaos unfold, and she even encourages it if she can get away with it while avoided an earful from Meiko.

Bribes the younger vocas with candy and comic books to do her bidding.

Super competitive. She goes so fucking hard on DDR and if you manage to beat her she is already thinking about at least 5 ways to kill you. You cannot escape. She will find you no matter where you run.

Her relationship with her mom is more like that of a sister's. Which is nice is some ways, but it also means she kinda raised herself. She's very independent and dislikes getting help from others because she's used to doing everything on her own. Meiko often forces her to take breaks or pairs her up with someone else.

She dislikes liquors but she really likes cocktails. Her favorite is a strawberry sangria margarita.

She thinks it's really funny to pretend like she isn't Luka when someone comes and asks for a picture.

"hey are you Luka?? Luka Megurine??"

"Huh? Who is that?"

And she has on merch with a picture of her face when she says that.

By extension she also likes to troll on her own fan forums

"Luka's music is mid at BEST :/" she posts on one of her 12 reddit accounts

Overall she's just a v fun person, though she tends to be very quiet when around people she's unfamiliar with.

Also her little cousin is Peko because I said so

Rin

Number one of the dynamic duo! She's older than Len by about an hour and she will never let her twin live that down.

Rin is probably the mastermind behind most of their mischief. Len isn't dumb, but he's more of an action guy than a planning guy.

She's not super into fashion, so dressing up in costumes isn't really her thing. She doesn't understand why Miku gets so into it.

With that said she isn't necessarily a tomboy, I'd just say she's more rough around the edges having grown up with the kind of brother who would give her wet willies and smash food in her face. She knows how to play dirty, literally.

She still very much likes to go shopping and wearing pretty things

Shes just her very authentic self, and doesn't care much about whether people percieve her as masculine or feminine.

That being said though she really enjoys sports. Not watching but playing. She's the best athlete at her school, which you think would translate well to dancing but,,,,

Shes not a BAD dancer, but she definitely has to work harder to nail choreography than anyone else does.

Moving to a rhythm feels different than running, following instructions feels different than making on-the-fly decisions. So dancing is much harder for her than tennis or basketball.

She's very smart though, and can make pretty fast decisions on her feet. This has saved her from many a costume malfunction or technical issue on stage.

Once she gets in the zone she's pretty calm and collected, but when she's not particularly focused it's pretty easy to push her buttons.

She's not very good at talking to people in general. She's blunt and can be overly-honest, and she's easy to tease and get mad. She fears people picking her apart, so she tends to take criticism more personally than she should unless it comes from Len, Meiko, or Kaito.

While she knows how to get attention, she doesn't know how to get unwanted attention off of her without brute force or speed. She leaves more delicate matters to Len.

She still very much enjoys having people's focus on her, though. Having to get overshadowed by Miku left her with a bit of an inferiority complex, so when the spotlight is on her it feels like her hard work is being noticed.

She has AMAZING breath control. She's a fantastic singer.

She heard about Beyonce being made to run while singing to train her lungs and just added that into her exercise routine.

Also because she's so into sports she's also fairly strong. She could beat your ass. She could beat my ass. She's already beaten flower's ass.

I don't think her and Flower would get along super well, namely cuz I think that Flower and LEN wouldn't get along and she doesn't like people who disrespect her brother.

Her and Len are very close, they don't really have any sort of rivalry going on. They just encourage eachother to be better so they can both achieve their goals.

Rin's dream is to own a house on the coast in California. Her favorite place to be is the beach in summer, and there it's like that all year round.

Len

NUMERO DOS!

As I said before: action man.

This kid rarely ever thinks before he acts. He's impulsive and has poor self-control, so he just pursues any whim he has at any given point.

This combined with his impish desire to pester the people he's closer with leads to a lot of scoldings. From both his parents and Meiko.

Beyond him being a big prankster, he's just a great performer. He's always super high energy, really interactive with the crowd. He's the only one of the vocaloids that streams games in his free-time so he can hang out with his fans more often.

He is very open with his feelings about the people who support him, and is constantly thanking them for being there to help him realize his dreams.

He feels that way about Rin, Miku, Meiko, Luka, and Kaito too, but he's also very easily embarrassed and can't say it to their face.

So instead he's the type to leave them gifts and notes and then get really embarrassed and run away if they try to thank him in-person.

He also has a very one-sided crush on Miku, tends to try and act cool around her which never really works.

She is not the only girl he wants attention from, though. He pretty openly flirts with his fans that are around the same age as him. Sometimes he does it to make Miku jealous which, again, doesn't really work.

But he is incredibly stubborn, and it is near impossible to get him to do something he'd rather not unless you provide some sort of incentive

He's also very much so a Young Boy���

He wants to be seen as a cool guy, the kind who goes to parties and that's always surrounded by girls. Cuz that's just kinda what he thinks success for a man looks like.

So he has to be bribed to wear anything he decides is too girly

Once snuck off to a party, somehow managing to get into a space with a bunch of adults. He ended up getting into real trouble when some half-drunk men recognized him and decided to scare him. He ended up hiding in the bathroom while they pounded on the door to freak him out.

Only ever told Rin about that cuz he knew she wouldn't judge.

Kaito

If Luka is the big sibling who went off to college and comes back to visit often, Kaito is the one who's still at home.

Especially to Miku, who's an only child and kinda latched onto him.

Luka is the chaos enabler, Kaito stops chaos from happening just with his presence. Him existing in the vicinity of the younger vocas is enough to calm them down.

He's very emotionally mature, but has a very child-like nature that people tend to be drawn to.

Imagine Iketeru from "Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan", except he learns what sex is and drinks alcohol. That's Kaito.

He's just very wide-eyed and whimsical despite being close to his 30's.

Though he can be kind of a klutz and say things without thinking, but he doesn't have a negative bone in his body so his lack of filter doesn't get him into trouble really

Its either a compliment or the kinda thing that makes people go "awe honey..."

He's just a very good guy. The goodest guy.

He went to the same highschool and college as Luka, they dated until graduation when Luka came out to him as a lesbian. He was upset, but incredibly supportive of her! They took a break from talking, but they've reconnected and he sees her as his most trusted friend.

Very secure in who he is. He's incredibly reliable and self-assured, always pushes himself to try his best!

He definitely doesn't live very lavishly, probably just a comfortably-sized apartment in a nicer area. He likes old lady furniture, you know the kind with the floral pattern? That's his SHIT right there.

Probably has a curiosity cabinet filled with cool things he found on the street and would pick up to take home.

Very close with his dad! They talk often, his dad owns literally every piece of merch and attends all his performances.

He perpetually smells like vanilla and honey.

Everytime someone mentions it, he just laughs and says thank you, but he doesn't know why. He doesn't use any body wash or cologne that smells like that. He doesn't bake. Even after years he's still confused.

He's not aware of how attractive he is and has made people blush a lot with how much he enjoys physical affection

Imagine getting hugged by a kind teddy bear of a man with a pretty face who smells like vanilla, he is unaware of the kind of affect he can have on people.

Meiko was one of these people before they became friends, now she's become immune to his casual toucheyness. That just comes with being someone he cares about!

Meiko

The queen herself

Okay so first I headcanon in this universe where they're part of a talent agency, Meiko isn't a singer anymore. She quit and took up a job as a talent manager.

She had seen too much of the dark side of the music industry, getting creepy fan mail and gifts and people threatening her safety. All before she hit 18, it had kinda fucked her up.

She was going to quit entirely, but when Miku got scouted the idea of leaving her with nobody to help her navigate her v quickly growing stardom left a pit in her gut.

So she stayed to train and manage her, and ended up taking a v motherly role for everyone who came after her. Minus Luka and Kaito.

She feels very responsible for the well-being of all the younger vocas under her management. She even goes as far as to filter their fanmail personally, reading through it before handing it off to them.

She doesn't want them to get hurt in the same way she did

In terms of her relationship with Luka and Kaito, she's fairly close with them both, but she relies on Luka much more.

Luka's more laid-back attitude to life provides Meiko with a fresh outlook where she'd otherwise feel confused, frustrated, and stuck.

Which happens a lot for Meiko, who is constantly wondering if she's doing enough. For herself, for her career, for these kids she feels responsible for.

Though despite her neurotic nature she still finds time to relax. One of her biggest hobbies is still song-writing. She writes a lot of songs for Luka, she'll often play the piano while Luka sings when the pink-haired lady stops by Meiko's place for a visit.

She also enjoys learning to cook, and while Kaito doesn't bake the two of them have bonded over making food. The three of them meet at Meiko's house regularly to have drinks and try a new recipe and just talk.

The younger vocas don't often get to see a softer side of Meiko, though. She's never outright mean to them, but she takes their safety and development very seriously.

She monitors their schedules closely and keeps a pretty tight leash on them all when it's time to get down to business.

She's pretty easy to loosen up tho all they gotta do is look at her with them big ol' eyes.

She loves them too much to say no when they're begging like that.

And she's also good at noticing small details about everyone. She has a good memory too. If you passed your exam last week you bet your ass she's getting you a present, she won't let success go by without her letting you know she's proud of you.

She spends a lot of time worrying, but overall she's very satisfied with her life.

[rocketerotic]

A while ago my boyfriend told me that the idea of impregnation risk sex really turns him on. He claims that girls have much stronger orgasms when there is an impregnation risk. I started reading about it and I do find the idea very exciting, but at the same time a little scary.... As I'm not on the pill, we use condoms. What shall I do? Do you have experiences in having risky sex? Should we really try the risk? And what is the best way to increase the risk bit by bit? xoxo

I do have experience with risky sex having used the pull out method as my primary method of birth control for years with many different women. Even after I got one woman pregnant, married her, had a child and lived together for years before divorcing, I continued to use the pull out method with later lovers. It is always a thrill playing the game and it becomes addictive. Some suggestions as to how you could begin playing while continually ramping up the risk are (in no particular order): During a "safe" time of your cycle, begin having sex without a condom with you on top, in control, and when you feel like he is getting close to cumming, hop off and let him cool off a bit before climbing back on to get him close again. Repeat this move as many times as you feel comfortable with before either hopping off one last time at the last second and finishing him off with your hand/mouth/tits, or by having him slip on a condom before letting him finally finishing inside you. To add risk to this scenario, let him be the one on top of you and in charge of pulling out. To add risk to that, when you feel him getting close to pulling out, hook your feet behind his ass pretending to try to keep him from pulling out. To up the risk, talk dirty to him about how much you would love for him to dump his load into you regardless of the risk. Other scenarios would be for you to lie to him about what point in your cycle you are, telling him that now is the worst time for you two to be fucking bare while you are really in the middle of the "safest" point of your cycle. You could look into getting and using barrier methods of birth control, like a diaphragm, sponge (if those are even a thing anymore), spermicidal foams, etc. but don't let him know you are using any kind of birth control, leading him to believe you are solely relying on him to pull out in time. Use your imagination and keep him primed and on a hair trigger as much as possible with your erotic talk and fantasies. Practice your naughty talk during your really unsafe cycle times while giving him handjobs, blowjobs, tit fucking, etc. to see how quickly and powerfully you can make him lose control of his ejaculation. Maybe graduate to letting him slide his well lubed cock up and down your slick, ripe, receptive pussy while hanging onto his neck and back with your arms, keeping your mouth next to his ear telling him how much you would love for him to finish inside you. Have him cum on your body, then next time come between your bellybutton and pussy, then next time just above your clit, then on your closed pussy lips, then when you feel really adventurous, on your pussy while you keep your legs spread wide open. For an extra thrill for you both, hold your pussy open with your hands while he aims his pulses of sperm right at your open depths. All the while keeping up a steady stream of dirty words and mental pictures guaranteed to bring you both to the edge of erotic madness. I could go on, but I think you probably have started to see how you can begin plotting a journey through this risky mine field, and I would like to hear from others out there with similar fantasies and desires and how they have played this game to orgasmic success. C'mon folks, time to chime in with your own experiences and ideas... let's help each other get off! As for you, Anon, I would love to hear how you are able to use our advice and guidance to reach higher and higher levels of ecstasy... keep us posted on your pregnancy risk hijinks and shenanigans!

[whatwouldmickeydo]

39, 44, 63 please? ❤️

Hi lovely Calli!

Gallavich Writer’s Ask Game

39. What’s an idea for a fic that you’re excited about, but haven’t had the chance to write yet?

Lmao Calli we BOTH know I’m still obsessed with the idea of Ian becoming an EMT again and Mickey keeping the security business and recruiting more Milkovich’s (no promises this will ever come to fruition! Still such a good idea tho)

I would love to write about that food truck idea we also talked about, it’s just so ripe for hijinks and fluff and Baz in a bandanna!

Along with that, it’s not so much a brand new fic but I’d like to write another chapter (or two) of Ian and Mickey visiting Fiona, I just love them being carefree and and happy and in love

44. What are some of your favorite tropes?

Outsider POV, the one trope to rule them all

63. What canon Ian and Mickey moments (together or individually) do you think are under-explored?

Hmm, that’s a good question.

Honestly, I wish there were more fics about their sleepover and what they did that night/that day leading up to it. The aftermath of that sleepover is SO hard and such a difficult topic I can understand why there aren’t that many, but that sleepover was SUCH a game changer for them and was no doubt filled with so many firsts and new experiences and I understand why what happens after overshadows a lot of the night before, but they were just kids hanging out falling in love at that sleepover! They talked and laughed and kissed and slept in the same bed and cuddled and just.. yeah

Thank you for asking! 😚

[moonslaura]

You know what’s a super great idea? Drugs in space! This has been tumbling around between Monty and I, and we think it could be really fun and not just a dust bunny in my mostly empty skull. Please be advised, content included in this post references drugs (both consumption and manufacturing)

SPACEDUST

Loosely inspired by Netflix’s ‘Sex Education’, a group of industrious Youths™ that don’t offer sex-counseling services but instead peddle a stimulant drug referred to as ‘STARDUST’. Primarily a party drug, its intention is mostly to cause a Good Time™ (albeit, it should be noted that like with all substances, STARDUST may or may not have varying effects on people and has a few side effects ). Likely has dangerous consequences from time to time, but mostly just a nuisance in and around Elysium. Think: ecstasy, although the same team recently put out a second concoction, SPACEDUST  that has been used as a performance enhancing drug in the underground fighting ring. 

A scheme that was cooked up one afternoon by a combination of chemical know-how, street smarts, and a need to make a fast buck. Plus, a ripe market filled with overstressed metahumans was just begging to be tapped.

We’re primarily looking for 2 more passengers and 1 crew member  to make up a hodge-podge group of “business partners” turned thick as thieves. Bonus points for throwing a wrench into things so that stuff won’t be peachy keen. But really they’re all mostly nerds/loners/predominantly didn’t have a support system on the ship outside of one another outside of one-another. They’re a den of thieves mostly with good intentions, but will probably get in way over their heads.

Currently, the rag-tag group is comprised of the Tate Twins, beloved Pony Express (distributor) Apollo and beleaguered Chemist Artemis. We’re looking for an Architect (the individual  probably most motivated by money, more business minded and the one that keeps their accounts in good order) , the Point Man (probably the most straight laced of the group, inconveniently has to compromise their rigid sense of morality to keep them out of trouble, with the suggested role of Panocorps patrolman) , the Brawn (who has to deal with any trouble necessary, may ironically be in charge of surveillance of wherever the heck their lab is) and The White Rabbit (paranoid buyer who is affable enough to fall in with the group and helps with odd jobs much to their chagrin). .  

Please feel free to ping me here/reach out on Discord (sav#5929) if you’re at all interested in this band of utter misfits and the inevitable hijinks! 

[joshslater]

Libertine

This is a collaboration with idesofrevolution, reimagining one of his earlier stories, again allowing me to explore ideas I haven’t worked with before.

You were getting seriously pissed off. The drunk and high punk douchebag had been obnoxious from the start, but he had remained on his side of the van. Regrettably his sickly stink of stale weed and armpits had not. Your strategy of ignoring him had paid off so far, but now he was apparently bored of making rude noises and gestures from his seat, and was inching towards you, making faces and taunts. He was pulling his lips from side to side, sticking out his pierced tongue and generally trying to get a reaction mere inches from your face. The smokey timbre of his breath, and the sickly sweet stench of stale marijuana filled your nose. He could go to hell. But you don't want to rock the boat while in it, and this is the first solid lead you've had since your friend disappeared. You turn to the little shit and gently shove him back in his seat.

"Stop it."

The punk, in his inebriated stupor laughs, swivels his back against the side of the van and rests one of his feet in your lap. His filthy, reeking feet inside his ratty socks in his trashed Vans sneakers. Don't rock the boat, you think. You're just happy the driver manage to ignore the hijinks in the back.

"When am I gonna see Travis?" "You’ll see him... He wants to see you too."

He winks and wiggles his foot in the well-worn yellow and blue checkerboard slip on, the formerly white socks playing peekaboo in their many frayed holes. The odor was intoxicating, not unlike vinegar with a hint of cheese, marshland and rubber. He starts to rub his shoe against your groin. You don't know what you hate the most. The constant antics from this attention seeking moron, or that you start getting an erection.

But you have to focus. Travis is the priority. These fucks are probably the ones that took him, and you gotta bring him back. You owe him that. You turn your face away and look out the window at the trees and bayouland flying past. This little hideout was way outside of town. You press the button to lower the window and get some fresh air. Nothing happens.

You resign yourself to the situation, as he finally appears to have calmed down. Don't. Rock. The. Boat. As you are getting light headed from the smell, and getting your growing bulge massaged by a skate shoe, you stare out the window and zone out. The greenery becomes a blur. You are unsure how much time actually has gone by when he, clearly excited, shifts and sits straight in his seat.

"Awwwwww yess! We’re here!"

The van pulls up to a rusted old chain link fence, with overgrown vines covering the old barbed wire. An open gate welcomes the van onto the dirt road, past old construction equipment, now enveloped by the rising bayou. In the distance, the outline of an old warehouse gets clearer. The sunlight shines onto the old brick facade, windows shattered and the metal roof nearly caving in from decades of neglect. Around the perimeter of the grounds, marijuana plants flourish. As the van comes to a stop, the punk reaches over you to open the door, not passing up a final opportunity to get in your face with his stinking body.

The sweltering Louisiana heat hits you like a freight train as you exit the raggedy old van. Never before have you been so happy to fill your lungs with the smell of stale marsh water. While the driver backs out the van, your annoying guide, already ahead, beckons you to follow him.

"Heel! Come on, puppy!"

He can still go to hell. You hasten to walk up along side of him. As you get there he tosses his sweat-sticky arm around you.

"Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?"

You reach the door, and he knocks in a strange pattern before the door opens and a familiar, yet off-sounding voice slithers out of the hazy interior.

"Sup muthafuckahs?"

It’s Travis. Or perhaps rather a strange caricature of Travis. The Travis you knew was your timid, boy-next-door best friend of ten years. He was there when your parents divorced. He was the shoulder to cry on when you broke up with your boyfriend. He was a quiet, good-natured kid who was always the sweetest guy. This… This delinquent was not Travis. His tattoos and gauged ears, buzzed faded haircut, silver chain, bulging muscles, and ripe, unwashed stink. Travis would never let himself look like this, or be seen like this. And yet, here he was, standing in front of you with some snide smirk and and soul-piercing gaze. You grab him by the shoulder, pulling him to the side, slapping a half-smoked joint from his veiny hands.

“Travis. What the fuck did they do to you? Did the drug you?”

He smirks, picks up the joint from the dirty floor, and brings it to his lips. He takes a slow, deep drag of the weed, never once breaking eye contact with you. He blows the smoke in your face defiantly, and brushes past you, making sure your shoulders connect.

“Sup Ash?”

Travis walks over to the punk who borderline kidnapped you, grabbing a handful of his perky ass before bringing him in for a sloppy, tongue-heavy makeout. You never knew Travis was gay, and a part of you was happy to see him finally embracing his sexuality, but it stings that he didn’t confide in you. But also, as he and Ash groped and bit and licked each other, you were certain that something was really wrong. You had never seen Travis this viscerally pleasured before, and you two learnt to masturbate together. And how had he managed to get all the tattoos and piercings, and get so ripped in less than 24 hours, or 30, or whatever the fuck the time was? What was going on? Travis pulled away from Ash, rubbing the moist front of his black jeans. “Fuck me later, babe. Why don’t you take my friend to see Sage?” Your best friend smacked his ass before walking over to you, blowing you a kiss as he walked past.

“C’mon babe, you’re going this way.” You should be terrified that Travis had gone behind you and locked the heavy metal door, but somehow you feel compelled to follow Ash into the haze of the dimly lit warehouse.

As the three of you walk toward the back door, you pass the various living spaces of the warehouse’s occupants. All tattooed. All pierced. All muscled. Most of them fucking. Moans and slapping sounds are coming from all around you. You find the origin of the heavy fog in several lounging guys passing bong after bong of different colored weed, the black liquid being distinctly different from typical bongwater.

Ash leads you up a flight of stairs, with Travis trailing behind. From the landing, your perspective sees the entire warehouse’s debauchery. Sweaty, nasty sex; dirty, rank clothes; questionable bongs; and old pizza boxes. These guys truly lived here, and clearly did little else. This vantage point quickly changes, as you turn to the opening of a cracked, frosted glass door. You feel a gentle shove on your shoulders from Travis as you stumble into the room. The door slams behind you.

The room was lit with red tint, and a few dim Edison bulbs likely original to the building. Whatever used to adorn the walls and ceilings had been stripped to the brick and mortar, exposing the pipes and beams above. The room was furnished much more heavily than the rest of the warehouse, with bookshelves, shiny leather sofas, a desk, and clothes strewn across the floor.

“I was wonderin’ if you’d show up here.”

From the corner of the room, the most stunningly sexy man you’ve ever seen saunter out of the haze. His plump lips and chiseled jawline immediately makes your heart skip a beat. He is tossing an old football into the air, catching it each time without breaking his sinister, yet wholly encompassing gaze.

You stutter for words in Sage’s presence, as he oozes a dominant air about him. It is clear from his demeanor that he is the boss. That's not the only thing he oozes, as you feel a strong, musky scent with tones reminiscent from the van drive here. You start getting an erection again. What's happening to you? Did they do something to you? How? You end up not saying anything, just standing with your mouth open.

“You know who we are? Who I am?” he asks as he toss the ball into a sofa. You're still tongue tied in his presence, but eventually blurt out what he was prodding to hear.

“You’re the Libertines. That cult-like gang that sells weed all across the city.” Sage smirks and leans against the bookshelf, crossing his arms and ankles. He gestures for you to spill more. “And you’re Sage Ravenswyck. You run the whole thing.” He bows, bastardizing the gentlemanly gesture to his ominous wit. Sage Ravenswyck, touted as the single most dangerous pot lord in the country. You don't say that part out loud.

“And you came to take Travis away from us, right?” You feel a chill down your spine. That's why you came here, but you can't say that. You don't even believe that to be true anymore. His silky, menacing, seductive tone prevents any speech from escaping your mouth. Sage steps forward, only a step away from you. “He’s not going anywhere, man. And neither are you.”

He pauses for a moment, his eyes seemingly piercing your soul, and studies you carefully. Then he grabs you by the jaw, pulling you into a slobbering, tongue-infested kiss, just like Ash and Travis shared. His mouth tastes like marijuana ash, cigarettes, and some indescribably savory flavor. You are not permitting the kiss under the threat of violence. The threat is there, for sure, but you are actively participating. You want nothing more than to stay connected to those plump, inviting lips. You are totally confused as to why.

He breaks the kiss, takes a step back and flatly states "I like you. Strip."

You want nothing more than to obey. As you begin to remove article after article of clothing, you see that Sage does the same, revealing more and more of his tattoos. Old voodoo signs and talismans permanently adhered to his sweaty skin. Motifs that seemingly come to life in the Edison light. You feel the heat radiating from the metal ceiling hitting your already sweaty skin, but it is the smell of his sweat that fills room. The same sour, salty musk that wafted from Ash and Travis, but stronger and more potent. You can still taste him in your mouth. Your jaw is lax and your are salivating as if you were about to vomit, but you don't feel nauseous.

You are both standing naked on a carpet of unwashed clothes, looking at each other. He's the most handsome man you've ever been naked with in a room. While you may feel sweaty, Sage is soaked. Gleaming in the light as if he'd been oiled up. His lithe body with defined, tight muscles accentuates it even more, as the light creates reflections and shadows on his pecs, abs and cock. He is flaccid, but you are sporting an almost painful erection. Five minutes ago you were rescuing Travis. How did you end up here?

"Time for initiation, cunt" Sage says, as he takes hold of your shoulders and pushes you to your knees. You’re eye level to his large, sweaty cock and balls, salivating more than ever in your life.

To your surprise he brings his sweaty, pungent right foot to your lips. Expecting to worship his enticing feet, you open your mouth, preparing to lick his soles. But as he brings it down into your gaping maw, you realize just how much you have misjudged your situation.

His entire rancid foot slips into your mouth, your tongue tasting every ounce of built up sweat and funk. He forces it down your throat, squeezing everything else within your neck, pushing your skin taut from the inside. It doesn't hurt nearly as much as it ought to and you have a flickering thought that this isn't possible, but his relentless pushing further and further down overpowers your with sensations. Sensations you have never felt before, mixed in with taste and smell of Sage and the most overpowering sense of lust you've ever felt.

He holds your head, locking eyes with you, as your face is getting closer and closer to his groin. His foot is rearranging your insides like a spoon through grits, and you can feel the foot turning, pointing forward. Further and further down, until it slips into your cock, finding a resting place. All you can think of, is him and getting him deeper in of you.

He moves his hands to the front of your head, prying open your mouth even further to accommodate his second foot. It slides down faster than the first one, and further. You can feel it continue down your hip towards your knee. He wiggles free his first foot from within your cock and moves it down your other leg.

His cock and balls are now practically resting on your face. He smiles a wry smile, inserts his finger under the foreskin of his uncut cock and then smears a line across your forehead. Then he pries your mouth open even further and slips into you, like a pair of low riding compression trunks, with your tongue resting in his ass crack and your nose in his pubic hair. You take deep breaths through your nose, and the smell of well stewed cock and balls fills your brain. You desperately want to touch him, but your body doesn’t obey you anymore.

He slips further down, and starts to rotate around, to face the other direction. He grabs your mouth and starts climbing into you, pulling you over him, like someone stepping into a hooded overall. You feel your body moves to standing up, unable to control it yourself, and your feet and legs and toes being filled with his, stretching your skin. There is a tingling sensation, like when a limb has gone to sleep and wakes up, as he settles within you. He pulls the rest of the body up, his six-pack subtly rippling across the front of your body, until it settles where it should.  When he is almost neck deep into you he slips his arms into your arms as if you were a rubber suit, and into your hands as if there were rubber gloves. It feels like a warmth spreading out into your body and limbs.

Finally he stretches your mouth over his head, and snap into place like a condom. You are filled with him, completely engorged, and yet to all outside eyes, some transformed version of yourself. He adjusts his head inside of yours, stretching your face to cover his, like a Halloween mask. Then he carefully stretches and flexes every limb and muscle in your body. You hear pops and feel grittiness smoothing out. You can't hear his thoughts, but you are filled with a feeling of excitement, joy and lust. If these are shared feelings or just your own you don't know.

Suddenly you fall forward, face first into the floor, and only at the last moment does he break the fall by putting out his arms into a push up stance and starts doing push ups. Your body feels stronger than it ever have, but at the same time you have no control over it. It makes you scared and excited at the same time. The total loss of control makes you hornier than you’ve ever been in your life, but there is nothing you can do about it.

After a good 20 or so push ups he transitions into doing burpees. If you were sweaty before, this opens the faucet, soaking you in sweat. 50 burpees or so later he stops and just stands on top of the pile of your combined dirty cloths, panting heavily and dripping sweat. "Ok, let's get you up to dress code" he says with your voice. Your cock, hard as ever, is leaking pre-cum like bad plumbing. He takes some on his fingers and start rubbing your sweaty biceps, often going back for more. It stings. To your amazement color starts appearing on your arm, until a tattoo emerges. Then another one. Within minutes your have as many tattoos as Travis.

Sage then grips the shaft of your slippery cock and begins to stroke it. If you could, you would moan like a pornhub slut, but instead you are caged inside your own body, just following along for the ride. Despite being hornier than ever before in your life, Sage manages to keep you on edge longer than you thought possible. It's like he knows your body better than yourself. Stroking you in ways you have never felt before. Stroking both of you, together. Then he lifts your left arm and inhales deeply from the arm pit. It doesn't smell like you, nor like Sage, but something in between. Your body can't take it any more and you erupt with more cum than ever before. Then everything goes black.

You wake up on a pile of cardboard boxes, still naked, still sweaty. You reek of marshland, sex and skater socks. Two guys you don't know are 69:ing a few feet away. Was Sage really climbing inside you, or was that just an erotic acid trip? But how else could you explain what has happened to you? Sage is no longer inside of you, but he left plenty of himself. While your tattoos are different than his, your body resembles him. You can taste him in your mouth. You wonder if Sage would let you go, if you asked him. He probably would. But what is out there that is better than in here? You wish to be worn more. To be molded by him, like a well worn sneaker. Until then there is a threesome waiting to happen a few feet away.

[booksofshadow]

Modern Tarot

I have now done three tarot readings with Michelle Tea’s Modern Tarot  and I already can’t imagine doing a reading without it. It’s been a while since I’ve felt I’ve outgrown the little guide that came with my deck. It’s so worn it’s falling apart and I often find the little sentence fragments that serve as explanation unsatisfying. But since I, as mentioned in the Jung and Tarot entry, use an alternative deck it’s been difficult to find a website or book that I felt wasn’t so caught up in the Rider Waite deck to be of any use to me. 

Modern Tarot does also use Rider Waite as a base, but Tea successfully draws out the essence of each card so that any mention of the symbolism in the Rider Waite deck serves as an extra layer of interpretation rather than a definitive explanation. Take my New Year’s reading, for example. The spread was fitting for the transition from the year I just had to the new one. It was full of new beginnings and completions of cycles, culmination of business ventures and success with creative endeavors, but still sprinkled with a dash of unease, distrust, and wariness. But, the final card was the eight of swords, which in my Goddess Tarot Deck is depicted by a woman lying face down surrounded by swords sticking into the ground outlining her body. It was an ominous image, and I believe the phrase the deck’s guide used was “incapacitating depression.” I was confused and surprised. It wasn’t exactly the future I would expect for a spread like that, or for my life for that matter. But I turned to Modern Tarot and learned that in the Rider Waite deck this card shows a woman standing blindfolded while surrounded by swords, and while Tea also talks about a feeling of depression or feeling trapped she also says, to paraphrase, “Bitch, it’s of your own making! You can take off that blindfold! You can easily walk through those swords!!” So I took the card as a warning. If I get so caught up in that distrust and unease and wariness that I can barely enjoy all of the positivity those other cards symbolized, then I’m going to wind up as depressed as I would have been if I were still struggling. 

My knowledge and skill with the cards has grown so much even in just these few readings. I feel like I understand the cards I’ve worked with the book for so much better after one reading than I did after using this deck for almost ten years. Her explanations are a  joy to read. She has a great contemporary voice and will incorporate just enough of her (very interesting, if you’ve read any of Tea’s other writing) life into the guides that they read almost like a micro personal essay. She has a great ability to modernize the explanation for the cards, especially when navigating the very strict and traditional gender roles associated with tarot, while still honoring the original intention of the card. 

What I love most, though, is that Tea will give a nod to the different ways a card might fit into a reading. After going through the overall meaning of a card, she will angle that interpretation to fit if it lands in a place that’s meant to be a person, or yourself, or a situation. It can be so difficult to do this on your own, and I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen that done in a guide. Why isn’t this more common? Flipping to a random card, let’s look at the Page of Wands. It’s a card full of inspiration and the energy takes to bring that creative impulse into something tangible, yet it’s tinged with a slight lack of confidence or possibility. Tea explains that, as a person, this card may represent someone around you with contagious creative energy, but warns not to depend on them to follow through with all of their great ideas. It may be someone in your office ripe for mentoring, or a friend that always has new hijinks up their sleeve, or a romantic interest that’s pulled in so many directions (or is polyamorous) and likely won’t settle on focusing on just you. If you’re the Page of Wands, it’s an encouragement to experiment and play the field. If it’s more of a situation, it’s one that isn’t fully formed but has a lot of potential, something to take a chance on but to keep your expectations loose for. 

Another fun thing about Modern Tarot is it’s also a surprise spell book. At the end of every card is a segment most often entitled “Be the [Card]” but sometimes may be “Bring the [Card] Into Your Life” or “Working With [Card]” or “Getting Through [Card],” you get the idea. What follows is two or three extra bullet points describing either a ritual or a spell or some other guided action to work with the idea and energy of the card in the rest of your life. “Be The Chariot,” for example, suggests working with pyrite to help bring balance and control into your life to prepare for (metaphorical) war, offers up some candle magic for gaining control, and shares a domination spell to help beat your competitor. 

Let’s just say, I wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up sitting down and reading this book cover to cover one day. And how many tarot guides can you really say that about?

Level: Intermediate - I think a beginner would still be able to use this book perfectly well, but the level of study and the additional spells that are included read more for an intermediate to advanced witch.

Accessibility: Moderate - Again, I don’t think this is exactly impenetrable for a newbie, but I think to really enjoy it and make use of it it’s best to approach it with a solid understanding of tarot and general witchery at large beforehand.

Usefulness: High - Like I said, this book will likely be by my side for every tarot reading from now on

Entertainment: High 

[dontbeallupinmyfriesdawg]

a/n: this is terrible I’m so sorry. I decided to do make this kennett because the whole feeling things through touches creamed Bonnie to me; plus if anyone's going to be murdered by their ex…

warning: themes of death, slightly dark toward the end.

no beta. for @gooddame  

“Get up asshole!” Bonnie demanded, shoving Kol abruptly off of the couch. He started from his sleep in shock and let his head loll backwards onto the floor, as he stared up at Bonnie disorientated.

“It happened again!” she growled. “What. Did. You. Do!?”

“What the bloody hell are you on about?” Kol bristled in response. “I was in the middle of nice dream before you-”

“I don’t care, I don’t care what you were dreaming about or if I interrupted your precious sleep Kol. Do you wanna know what I’ve been doing all night instead of sleeping?! Hanging out in some sleazy looking bar, with God awful music on full blast, watching a bunch of people doing lines a the table!”

Kol’s face formed into a look of understanding and he nodded, pulling himself up off the floor and back onto the couch.

“Did you touch me?” Bonnie demanded, glaring down at him.

He sighed.

“I came into your room because you left your phone on the sofa.”

Bonnie arched her eyebrows.

“And?”

“And, you looked cold so I threw a blanket over you. I didn’t realise we made contact; apologies love,”

Bonnie closed her eyes and huffed, lifting her hands to rub at her temples. When she reopened her eyes Kol was still staring up at her, his brown eyes soft and almost angelic. The revelation of his random act of kindness made it infuriatingly difficult of for her to remain angry with him. Gingerly, she plopped down on the couch, being careful not to brush shoulders with him as she did.

Bonnie’s living arrangement was unique to that of most people she knew. The primary reason being, that her roommate was technically undead. Kol Mikaelson, in a past life, had been a lead guitar player in a group called The Originals, a punk rock group comprising of him and his four siblings. (Bonnie had personally never heard of them but Kol insisted they were pretty big in London at time so she’d taken his word for it).

In the peak of the band’s success, they’d relocated to the state in order to gain more publicity. Six months into their stay, Kol had died suddenly and unexpectedly at the ripe old age of twenty-six while walking out of a nightclub. He had no recollection of how of why and now nearly 50 years later he was still haunting his old flat (which was supposed to be Bonnie’s perfect rent controlled dream apartment) presumably cursed to remain there for the rest of eternity until he found ‘peace’. Whatever that was.

Bonnie was the first tenant that he hadn’t actively driven out of the place before they’d gotten a chance to unpack their moving boxes. Something about her ‘alluring beauty and charm’ he’d said.

In hindsight, Bonnie shouldn’t really have been surprised that this sort of thing was happening to her. Growing up in Mystic Falls had prepared her for a lifetime of supernatural hijinks. Plus she was a witch and a disaster magnet extraordinaire. Coming home to find a strange, slightly translucent man sitting in her kitchenette, devouring a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch was far from the strangest thing that had ever happened to her. Which really said something about her.

The worst thing (besides having to contend with Kol’s generally irritating personality) was the visions. The faintest skin to skin contact could plunge Bonnie decades back in time, head first into one of Kol’s deranged memories; helpless to feel, smell and experiencing everything that happened around her. Neither of them could figure out whether it was a witch thing or a ghost thing that was causing them to happen, all Bonnie knew was that it was an inconvenience and a nuisance. It was only sheer stubbornness and the fact that she’d blown a good bit of her paycheck decorating the apartment, that had stopped her from moving out of there and finding somewhere else to live. That being said, the thought still crossed her mind. Frequently.

“If it helps, I think we're getting closer,” Kol murmured breaking the silence.

Bonnie turned and gave him an incredulous look.

“Seriously? Tell me that you're not still holding on to the idea, that your drug induced memories are all some kind of puzzle pieces that will eventually help to solve the mystery of your death?”

Kol got up and stretched.

“Think about it. You’re a witch, before you, this… the touching thing never happened before,”

“That’s because nobody’s ever hung around here long enough for you to test that theory,” Bonnie grumbled.

“The club that you went to this time around; was it Charlie’s by any chance?” Kol asked, ignoring her previous comment and looking down at her hopefully.

“Wh- I don’t know Kol!? I have no idea what the sleazy nightclub’s name was. I was too busy being in shock at the mountains of illegal cocaine in front of me!”

“Well, the club was called Charlie’s for a reason, love. Mmm, nineteen sixty-nine,” he sighed wistfully. “What a time to be alive,”

Bonnie scoffed and tucked her legs underneath her on the couch.

“Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying your little moment of nostalgia; meanwhile I’ll just lie here and recover after not getting a wink of sleep last night. You know the visions aren’t like dreams, right? It’s like I’m physically right there when it’s all happening, wide awake the whole time”

“As I said, we could be getting closer to putting you out of your misery darling,” Kol said, beaming at her in a way that was frankly only irritating in her sleep deprived state.

“That club was the last place I remember being in Bonnie, love. You know, before my very unfortunate, untimely death, of course,”

“So what’s your point?” Bonnie hummed, trying to keep her eyes from shutting as she reclined backwards onto the cushions.

“My point, darling, is that we could be mere seconds away from the exact moment itself!”

Bonnie cocked one eye open and frowned.

“Don’t sound so excited weirdo. I mean how many separate times have you been to this club anyway? It’s not as if you could tell one night from the other at the time back when you were out partying, let alone now,.” she pointed out.

Kol looked as if he was going to say something else but Bonnie could feel the waves of sleep lapping at her body and she was in need of a shower to wash the lingering, icky feeling, she had after spending an evening (however simulated) in Kol’s favourite drinking hole. So she got up before he could speak.

“I’m gonna use the bathroom,” Bonnie sighed, tugging at her hair with one hand and pulling up her sleep shorts with the other.

“Sorry again, love,” Kol called after her as she disappeared from the room.

Bonnie flashed him a half-hearted smile and shut the door of her bedroom. Kol might be a royal pain in the ass the majority of the time but she found his remorse was always genuine whenever he accidently induced the visions.

It wasn’t his fault, Bonnie knew that and being dead had to suck especially when you had no idea how it happened in the first place and if she thought she could help Kol, she would. However Bonnie stood by her previous statement, if these memories of Kol’s were some sort of breadcrumb trail, slowly leading them to the truth; God knows how long it would take before they got any sort of clarity on the situation. It was a wild goose chase. A coin toss. A guessing game.

And honestly Bonnie didn’t move over 400 miles away from home, just to be stuck in yet another paradigm of magical ex machina at her expense. Was it too much to ask to live a remotely normal existence for once in her life?

Bonnie slipped her clothes off and got in the shower. As she began lathering up the bar of soap in her hand she came to a decision. The spray of the shower hit her skin and she shut her eyes contemplating how she would go about breaking the news she had for Kol.

“Good shower love?” Kol smirked as Bonnie emerged in the kitchen. She rolled her eyes at the salacious look on Kol's face as he wiggled his eyebrows in her direction. Only he could take the most innocent thing and make it sound dirty and provocative.

Still, she knew his crude humour was purely for the purpose of gaining a reaction from her. Despite everything, Bonnie found she was going to miss the troublesome poltergeist. She felt her chest clench as she hovered by the table.

“Something wrong?” Kol garbled through a mouthful of cereal, watching Bonnie's carefully.

She shuffled uncomfortably and hesitated before she took a seat opposite him on of the kitchen chairs.

“We need to talk,” she said softly.

“If this is about your shampoo,” Kol began, putting down his spoon. “I know promised I stop using it, darling but it’s really not my fault. They shouldn't make those things smell so darn good. I'm afraid I've always been a bit of an addict-”

“Wh- no Kol this isn't about the shampoo- But wait, really? You're still using it?!”

Kol gave her a sheepish look before shovelling another spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

“I think maybe… I think it's time I moved out and found another place,”

There was a loud clattering noise as Kol's spoon fell from his hands into the bowl of what was now mostly milk and he gazed at Bonnie with a horror stricken expression.

“What's that now?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” she said bluntly. “I’ve just... spent my whole life being this performing magical genie for everyone I know. Now I’m living with a ghost from the 1960s and time travelling into drunk rocker's paradise every 3 seconds! What part of that is normal?!”

Kol blinked at her.

“Darling you're a witch. Did you ever imagine your life would have any semblance of normality?”

“I have to try, Kol” Bonnie sighed. “I have a job and school and plans for a future. And this-”

She gestured with her arms.

“-Can’t be happening if I’m ever going to where I want. Which is why I have to move on, so I can at least attempt at a life that doesn’t sound like the premise of a homeless man’s fever dream” she insisted.

Kol snorted loudly. Bonnie’s shoulders sagged in response.

“You understand right?”

Kol gave Bonnie a once over. A sad smile formed on his face as he got up and began to pace.

“Kol?”

“Ah, Bonnie Bennett...”

“Are you about to guilt trip me?” she asked wearily looking up at him through the gaps in her fingers.

He shook his head.

“I’m attempting to do something that’s a little foreign to me,”

“What do you mean?” Bonnie questioned.

Kol expelled another heavy breath.

“Dying really gives you perspective. I realised, twenty-six years isn’t a very long time to live. I spent everyday living life as if it were my last and then one day… it was. I’ve been walking around for nearly half a century alone, with only a few small pleasure to entertain me and not a single soul for company because nobody could see me. And then finally, a pretty little lass walks in here and instead of looking through me; she looks right at me and screams. Which was honestly the happiest moment I’ve had since I kicked the bucket all those years ago.”

“Only you would say something like that,” Bonnie huffed.

“What I’m trying to express, poorly I might add. Is that I’ll miss you. Sorely. This… existence if you can call it that was withering away my sanity bit by bit and then you came along and helped me to feel human again. I’m sorry, all I’ve given you in return were strange, unwanted visits into scenes from my wayward past, sweetheart. What else can I say.”

Bonnie sniffed slightly and dabbed gently at her eye with the back of her hand, having not expected such emotive, sentiments to come from him.

“I only wish I could have known you back then, I think we could have been quite the thing,” he flirted, his mouth forming a half-smile.

Ah yes, Kol just wouldn’t be Kol if he was actually capable of being serious for more than five seconds.

“I doubted there would have been much of a future for us.” Bonnie scoffed teasingly. “Sleazy rock stars aren’t exactly my type,”

“You talk a good game, love. But believe you me, there wasn’t a woman alive capable of resisting my charms back in the day,”

“I guess I’ll never know,” Bonnie chuckled rising from her seat.

There was a long silence as Bonnie walked away from Kol towards the kitchen entrance. Although as she did, something stopped her suddenly and she turned back around to face him.

“For what’s it’s worth it wasn’t completely awful living with you either,” she smiled, leaning against the doorway. “Even though you are a complete ass sometimes,”

Kol didn’t respond. He stared pensively into space behind her instead.

“Kol?” Bonnie called out. “Are you… okay? What’s-”

“-I’m going to ask you something and if you say no- well, I’ll understand but I need to ask,”

“Uhm, okay?”

“Will you go back? Just one last time, I know you don’t have any faith in the visions but I truly believe we’re close. If it’s possible, then I’d like to find peace and make my descent to the afterlife. Which I have no doubt will be some variation of Hell and I’ll be amongst the other great rock legends of all time,”

Bonnie scoffed and laughed despite herself.

“And if you don’t find ‘peace’. If there’s nothing? If this vision is just another blurred alcohol induced haze?”

“Then we would have tried,” Kol answered. “I’ll stay here and submit to my fate of haunting the unsuspecting idiots that attempt to move in after you and you’ll go and live the rest of your life, Bonnie Bennett. Your nice, perfect, supernatural drama-free life,”

“I’ll do it,” she immediately replied.

Kol frowned.

“You will?”

“Like you said, I’m moving out, it’s just one more time and I’ve got nothing else to loose, so I guess, yeah,”

Kol flashed her a brilliant smile and stepped toward her.

“Thank you,” he murmured. “You’ve made an old ghost very happy,”

Kol clasped both her hands in his and Bonnie felt a familiar shiver go through her body.

Bonnie was standing in an alleyway. Instinctively Bonnie wrapped her arms around herself as she felt the cold hit her. The visions had an inconvenient habit of transporting Bonnie in whatever clothes she happened to be wearing at the time to and she’d forgotten to grab a cardigan before she and Kol made contact. To say she felt extremely awkward the night before, sitting in a crowded bar in only her sleep shorts and a vest was an understatement. Even if no one could see her.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Mary”

Bonnie jumped, as tall, bearded man, with dark thick hair, drifted into the alley followed by a small redheaded woman in a black trench coat.

“Are you getting cold feet on me Sam?” the woman replied in a steely voice.

“Course’ not, you know I’d do anything for you. But-”

“But?”

“This seems a bit extreme don’t you think? I mean what if you’re caught? What if-”

“-Tell you what Sam, why don’t you leave all the heavy thinking to me, alright? Just make sure the car’s ready for when I get out of here,”

The man stared at her for a second, uncertainty still evident on his face.Eventually, he turned and walked away; leaving the small woman by herself in the dark.

Bonnie walked closer to where she stood until she was right next to her and studied her face. Her features were pinched into a look of determination but her eyes sparkled with something else, something that resembled sadness. Regret even.

Suddenly there was a noise and Mary ducked out of immediate vision and pressed her back against the wall of the building.

A door at the side of the building she was standing by swung open abruptly and a man swaggered out. The walkway was very dimly lit so Bonnie did have much to go by but as he turned ever so slightly to face her Bonnie was almost positive the man in question was Kol.

As he stumbled down the steps, clearly off his head drunk, Mary stepped out of the shadows with a gun clasped in her right hand. Bonnie opened her mouth to scream or speak. Anything. but whatever she wanted to say refused to come out. Kol took three steps down the path leading out of the alley and Mary lifted her arm and pointed the gun straight, in Kol’s direction.

She pulled the trigger and a single bullet shot out landed in the back of his head, smack in the centre. Kol stilled on the spot and swayed slightly before hitting the concrete, face first. By the looks of things, he died on impact. Bonnie pressed a hand to her mouth and another to her stomach as she felt her insides begin to churn.

Mary stood motionless for a moment, staring at Kol’s lifeless body. A look of conflict briefly crossing her face. For a second, Bonnie thought she was going to cry. Instead, Mary pushed the gun back instead of her coat and slowly backed away from the scene, breaking into a run after a couple of seconds. The last thing Bonnie heard before fading into the present was the screeching of tyres against the concrete.

“Bonnie?”

Bonnie blinked her eyes open adjusting to the light of her kitchen. As she registered Kol in front of her she realised there was a tear running down her cheek.

“What have you seen?” Kol asked, his voice low and grave. But by his tone, Bonnie could tell that he already had an idea.

“Who was Mary?” she asked, swiping at her cheek with the back of her hand.

“Mary?” Kol repeated. His brows knitted together in thought.

“Yay high, red hair, feisty attitude? That Mary?” he asked.

“That’s the one,” Bonnie nodded.

“She was my ex. A literally crazy and a bit of an Original groupie, I’m afraid. Mary was a close friend of my sister’s; then she began seeing Klaus but that ended as quick as it began. After that, there was an Elijah period and then she found a new obsession: little old me. I usually didn’t make a habit of taking up with my brother’s leftovers but Mary, she was a blast. We always had fun whenever we're together.”

“So what happened?”

“Well I wasn’t exactly the steady type of boyfriend, as you can imagine and that rather upset her. I always made it clear that I wasn’t in for anything serious but it went into one ear and straight out of the other. She saw us getting married in a church somewhere and having a bunch of kids. I saw myself passing out, after drinking my weight in larger, for the rest of the foreseeable future.”

“So you ended things.” Bonnie nodded, the pieces now forming together in her mind.

Kol squinted at her.

“Why are you asking me this? What exactly happened in that vision, love?”

Bonnie shut her eyes.

“She shot you,” she whispered.

“Who?”

She swallowed.

“Who shot me, Bonnie?”

“Mary,”

A silence stretched between them. Bonnie pressed her eyes shut tighter to stop the tear that threatened to escape.

“I guess-” she sniffled. “I guess your break up really hurt her... She just took out a gun and- and then it was over. She didn’t even say anything,”

When Kol still didn’t reply Bonnie stretched out an arm to comfort him.

“I’m sorry Kol I-”

She reached out her hand grasped at nothing.

And when she opened her eyes, he was gone.