#i think thats disrespectful as hell

[plasma-packin-mama]

My hot take is that if you don't know how to draw fat people and aren't going to try you should not accept commissions of fat characters

[arolesbianism]

Doodle I did of my girl Juliet earlier

[rainknow]

.

[thedevilsrain]

[timeloop-angel]

Heeeelp my relatives started gaslighting me again. I thought they stopped doing that 😭

[waywardsalt]

i need to make damien weirder

[phagodyke]

prev post reminds me a friend told me last week she doesnt believe i actually struggle with emotional volatility/dysregulation like ive mentioned before bc shes never seen it firsthand...............

[frogathy]

not feeling safe your whole life to share your real honest feelings with your father because he explodes and takes it as a personal, utterly disrespectful offense when you have, but now youre trying to learn and heal from that so you decide to be honest about your feelings with your father instead of lying to please him and he explodes and takes it as a personal, utterly disrespectful offense <

[stealingpotatoes]

POTES SEMI-LIVEBLOGS KOTOR!

ive been writing my thoughts in the notes app but due to popular demand (one person asked for it) i'm posting my liveblogging DO NOT SAY/TAG/COMMENT SPOILERS PLEASE i read tags

warning im a yapper, im 10 hours in and theres a lot already (separated into sessions):

SESSION 1

whos this clown i thought i would be playing as revan

ive been too spoiled by dragon age origins this character creator sucks ass

only human???? ): fr?? ill just imagine her different in my brain or some shit

my life is being mansplained to me. is this bad writing or do i have amnesiacs

hes meta now??? hes talking abt the screen controls?????

omg a jedi and an evil jediii

omg their asses suckedddd they both died immediately

i <3 bringing a sword to a gun fight

WHY R THERE SO MANY SITH WHERE IS TJE RULE OF TWO

i clicked a workbench and it said lightsaber so either i get a lightsaber or i get a jedi friend whose lightsaber i can steal if im careful

I assume u play as revan in kotor2 so im gonna buy that now so i can play it when im done playing w this clown

i got light side points im getting a good grade in game morality which is something both normal to want and possible to achieve

everyone keeps saying revan is dead but thats my friend revan from tumblr hes clearly alive. or they???

my characters ass is distractingly present onscreen

huge fan of the way everyone collapsed drunk what the FUCK was in that wine

ok these sith ppl might be the bad guys but their armour is DRIPPY AS FUCK

ideologically i dont agree w the sith but they kinda went off w the fits

googling how to become a sith without being evil cause they have Drip

SESSION 2

i paid £1.19 to see revan he better show up in this game at some point

all these sith n i still cant find one revan….. stop faking ur death rn come out n talk to me babygirl this isnt like u….

why can i be light/dark side if im not a jedi. give me a laser sword

maybe this jedi gyal will know where revan is faking his death. or give me a fuckin lightsaber PLEASEEE

was just thinking 'does this game have romance' and then carth called me beautiful. i dont think im gonna romance anyone until i get this amnesia sorted

why is carth questioning me so much abt the crash im pretty sure i have amnesia

why tf did the jedi lady have me transferred to this ship are we in lesbians with each other???

carth's not wrong it is suspicious but i lowkey have amnesia so i coulda done that i coulda not

a lot of clone wars voice actors in this. was lucasfilm so broke in the 2000s that they could only afford the same 3 VAs for every project

mission is 14??????? we need to get my girl back in school

SESH 3

tale as old as time i fucking suck at racing games

ok i didnt realise you had to mash click i won

REVAN!!! REVAN!!!!!!!!!

why am i dreaming abt revan tho. real as hell but ?????

lmao cringe revan getting blown up. i thought the jedi beat rev-meister in a fight but no. accident

"such visions are often a sign of force sensitivity" COOL YAY GIVE ME A LIGHTSABER

BASTILLE LOST HER FUCKING LIGHTSABER??

CARTH IS RIGHT THATS LIKE DAY ONE JEDI SHIT. ok i still love her even tho shes a bit of a bitch and also doesnt have a saber

if we find a lightsaber im taking it first tho

whys carth getting weird abt me being weird that he doesnt trust me. i just wanna be friends mate

SESH IV: A NEW HOPE

'i mean no disrespect, but perhaps one of the male slaves could serve you better' i went in here to start a slave revolution and instead got called a lesbo

LMAO THERES A SPICE LAB???? WALTER WHITE WHERE ARE YOU

thats insaneee they blew up BILLIONS of people to get to one jedi?????? these sith arent fucking around theyre scary

UM THIS IS CRAZY GRAPHICS THE LIGHTING IS CLEARER/DARKER WHEN I COVER THE SUN W THE SHIP EDGE?? 2003 IS THE YEAR OF THE FUTURE

someone just called me padawan i kinda assumed i was in my late 20s do i just have baby vibes

all the jedi in the movies are so chill but every kotor jedi i've met so far has been a bit of a bitch

YO THEY HAVE A YODA!!! its not THE yoda but

cool so these guys are just the regional managers at best. your asses are not the council

why can everyone smell my force juju so strong

THATS STRAIGHT UP YODA'S CLONE WARS VA

why does fake yoda not blink both eyes at the same time. im calling him master tortimer he reminds me of the animal crossing mayor

bastila there was no need for such a fancy bow

malak is like evil aang

revan is so much shorter than malak omg

are me and bastila sharing dreams. are we both obsessed w revan

poor mission ):

WHAT WAS MASTER TORTIMER ABT TO SAY????????? EVER SINCE WHEN??? DID WE KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE MY AMNESIACS????? DID BASTILA TELL U SMTHN MORE WHEN I WASNT IN THE ROOM???

im intrigued i like this whole hidden jedi shtick its very compelling. so is whatever theyre hiding from me

kinda surprising no jedi found me before tho given my force juju is so strong

IM A LEGIT JEDI NOW??? SICK!!!

does revan rlly not have pronouns i thought that was a tumblr thing but they straight up are a nonbinary icon ive never heard a single pronoun used. revan's pronouns are revan/revan's

damn revan seems so cool in these stories (charismatic war hero that convinced their troops to join them as conqueror?? julius caesar) and yet all we've seen them do onscreen is get blown up and die by accident

A YEAR AGO? the way they were talking i assumed revan died like. a week before the game started

master uh i forgot his name he has martin scorcese vibes said revan was a paragon of the jedi so what im getting is that all jedi gifted kids turn evil

even if i didnt know revan as a tumblr darling id KNOW revan has to be alive somewhere they way everyone talks abt them is too cool for a character who exploded and died. i think. i hope. I PAID £1.19 TO MEET REVAN

'only you and bastila can stop malak' seriously????? just us two?? ive been a jedi for like, 6 minutes and you guys keep calling bastila young???? do you guys not wanna help??

omg im getting carth to traumadump! <3

HE WAS ON REVAN'S ARMY>??

i totally knew the jedi code and did not have to google it whatsoever

they rlly said fuck going to illum heres a crystal from the bin

he told me id be a great sentinel and i was like i know but i want blue cause i dont wanna be matchies with bastila

OGH!!! I HAVE A LIGHTSABER!!!! THIS IS GAME OF THE YEAR!!!!

omg i made my lightsaber perfectlyyy which is rare <3 getting a good grade in jedi

maybe i was a travelling lightsaber salesman before my amnesia

seriously though WHO was i everyone's kinda stopped acting like i have amnesia since the first mission BUT IVE PLAYED DRAGON AGE THAT GIVES YOU OPPORTUNITIES TO RP UR PAST. THIS DOESNT. EITHER THIS GAME IS BAD (but i love it so its not) OR I HAVE RETROGRADE AMNESIA

also everyone keeps being like "Oh ur force juju is so strong" AND NOBODY FOUND ME TIL NOW??? suspicious. did getting a really bad concussion activate the force in me

im too confused and amnesiac'd to think abt anything except the fact i have a glowing stick now

FSESH FIVE:

big fan of using aliens to avoid having to get VAs to read every line

oh so carth's boyfriend saul betrayed him and became leader of the sith fleet so he has trust issues

well he needs to calm down. i can't betray him cause i dont know what the fuck is happening

yooo i love the design differences on the mandalorians

oh my god this lady wanted to fuck her droid cause it was her husband's. and then it killed itself. wtf. game of the year tho

wtf they jebaited this juhani person into going dark side but then i talked her out of it. that seems a bit mean of them

i hope she can join my party she looks too unique to be a random npc

ive been thinking and I might be going crazy but there was a loading screen tip ages ago that said jedis could wipe ppl's mind and all i thought at the time was 'fuck the shitshow acolyte didnt make that up'. but what if one of them wiped MY memory and i used to be a jedi or smthn ????????

cause they keep being like ur weirdly good at this??? did bastila steal my memories??????????

I KNOW I HAVE AMNESIA!! EVEN IF EVERYONE DOESN'T BRING IT UP BC THEYRE PROBABLY TRYING TO SAVE MY FEELINGS

if i dont have amnesia and im just deeping the fact the opening had my life being mansplained then im gonna look real stupid

anyway time 2 go to the fuckshit ruins cave where r-dog and malak went to

"it must be referring to revan. the dark lord and malak--" revan's pronouns are revan/thedarklord

bastila said theres no mention of the Builders in the archives. does she just know every text off by heart

THIS DROID IS 20K YEARS OLD ???

omg i can equip 2 lightsabers at once. game of the year

OK I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THE AMNESIA BASTILA IS ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BACKGROUND THAT I CAN ANSWER. I REPEAT I DO NOT HAVE AMNESIA

ok i didnt get choices and i didnt really uh… say anything that i didnt already get told im still not ruling out amnesia

also booo i didnt get to find out how old i was

master tortimer rlly looks like the ultimate ketamine yoda

LMAO THERE WAS A DIALOGUE OPTION 2 CALL JUHANI A CATGIRL

omg kashyyk from jedi fallen order!!!

I CAN UPGRADE MY LIGHTSABER THIS IS JUST LIKE JFO

omg this ship is fun i wish everyone had personalised bunk spaces like hfw… a game which came out 19 years after this i should probably just take what we have

im gonna start w manaan cause im p sure thats what B-dog said n its the same language the droid was speakin

omg hyperspace from star wars

THE GUY THE BUILDING FELL ON???

am i having dreams abt revan bc bastila killed revan and im connected to her this is so roundabout

maybe i'd sleep better if my ponytail wasnt clipping into the pillow

[kiwi accent] six

carth needs a xanax every time i think we're friends he stops trusting me

also lmao he actually pointed out how wild it was that a day one padawan is being sent on this uber important mission and HES RIGHT IT IS WEIRD!! i thought it was main character logic but he's calling it out

i really really like the sense of unease that's setting in like at first i thought it was just cause im not used to 2003 games but no this is on purpose bc carth my friend carth keeps calling it out

THERE IS A CHILD ON MY SHIP ??????????????????

lmao the representative for menaan is roland wann. its like poetry it rhymes

there are no cameras in the sith hangar <3 rookie error i can commit crimes now

bastila's favourite hobby is getting shot and walking into my grenades

this isnt a combat system this is a missing system

I GOT ARRESTED???? IM JUST A GIRL

nvm i had a datapad that said the sith were evil so theyve let me go free and we're besties

why do i feel like ive just walked into an underwater horror mission

this suit waddles at the speed of a penguin on fentanyl

i tamed the beastie this is like how to train your dragon

MALAK FIRED ON REVAN?????? WERENT THEY BEST FRIENDS???????

but maybe revan escaped when bastila wasnt looking THEYRE FINE THEYRE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I BELIEVE

so hopefully when we run into revan they'll be like agh i changed my ways cause of the being shot thing and they'll be my bestie

great news i successfully communicated w the ship child and gave her back to dantooine. my girl has shockingly good linguisitics skills

bastila is so dour "oh watch out for the dark side" GIRL I AM. I NEED TO GET THE BEST GRADE IN GAME MORALITY

ok OFF TO KASHYYK i hope cal kestis is there… thru the force i guess… bc he wont be born for another 4000 years but its whatever

omg you'll never guess what. another vision. wow its one of the thangs. cool this is a tomorrow me problem

[websitestargirl]

i think soap would draw you in his notebook but obviously thats so sentimental and embarrassing so he keeps them hidden, until you snoop and discover them. they’re almost disrespectful pinups, and they look like you, but they’re exaggerated, made to look erotic and sexy. when you confront him he’s like omg you weren’t supposed to see that. and when you express your insecurity that you “don’t really look like that”, his embarrassment evaporates and he stares at you with a look of sincere bewilderment.

soap’s like, “what are you talking about? that’s what you look like?” and when you retort that your boobs aren’t that perky, and your ass isn’t that cute, eyes aren’t that big and shiny, he gets mad at you. as the artist he’s thinking that he captured you perfectly, and he feels like your insulting his drawing skills. he gets mad at you… hence an argument begins where he’s taking it the wrong way, and you get defensive because you feel like he’s idealizing you.

he bites that he’s capturing you how he sees you, and no maybe you don’t look exactly like the drawing but it’s not about accuracy, it’s about representation and believability. he will die on the hill that he’s right and you’re being weird for not accepting the fact that he’s right and you’re a beautiful bombshell babe.

then gaz or price or ghost come in like “fucking hell can you guys please stop your stupid lovers quarrel”, to which soap shoves the drawing in their faces and asks for their input. to which they give a satisfied nod and say, “yeah, that’s about right, innit.”

so maybe you are just crazy!

[earthtooz]

ik ur in ur reo phase BUT HEAR ME OUT EARTH ONLY YOU CAN DO THIS

rin ACCIDENTALLY publicizing ur relationship bec mf got jealous as hell when ur face appeared in the kiss cam IN HIS GAME??????? WITH A RANDOM GUY AND WAS HE FUMING??? YOU AND I KNOW HE WAS THROWIN HANDS

thats all

I'M HEARING YOU OUT. warning for unrealistic scenario, i wrote this in like 20 minutes so it's unedited :p apologies for any mistakes.

imagine being rin's secret partner, the one he keeps behind closed doors because he values you too much to let the invasive eyes of the internet see. he values your relationship too much to let it get tarnished by social media, so he hides any affiliation with you like his life depends on it, only to come home and shower you with the adoration and affection he wishes he could show to the rest of the world.

in the spotlight, he is itoshi rin, japan's prized striker, their golden player, but when he's out of the spotlight, he is your lover. the man who drapes himself over you when things get too rough and he needs a breather. he is yours to cherish, where you have to change your phone wallpaper every other week because there's so many good photos of you two. he is yours to love, he is yours to go to when you feel too lonely, he is yours.

but also imagine, itoshi rin's jealousy and possessiveness no longer being able to rest at bay. it'd been accumulating for the past few weeks, this desire to show you off and boast that it's him who gets to know you like no other.

then the cup overfills, his jealousy tearing him by the seams that he loosely stitched together to withhold this carnal beast resting within him.

all because of a damn kiss cam.

you had been sitting in the vip section of the stadium- where special members are granted tickets, and even though you tell rin that it's fine for you to just sit in the general area, he refuses and tells you that he's bought you the ticket anyway. leaving you with no room for arguments. well. not that there was any to begin with.

anyways, you'd just so happen to sit next to someone who bought vip tickets with no affiliation with any blue lock members. you think he's just a die hard fan, so when he asks you if you like them, you lie and say that you won these tickets at a raffle.

the guy wasn't the most favourable person ever, in fact, you found yourself awkwardly responding to what he was saying, sometimes giving him short and succinct replies because of how... weird... he was. not to be disrespectful but you did not like his vibes. you just hope these 90 minutes can be over quickly.

yeah well, how funny is it that the kiss cam lands on you and the insufferable guy beside you?

you're mortified when you see it on the screen but the person beside you doesn't warrant the same reaction. immediately, he turns to face you, anticipation heavy on his features. in fact, he looks rather... excited...

"no, no, i have a boyfriend, i-" you begin abruptly as he leans in and you have no choice but to helplessly lean back, evading his lips and delaying it as much as you can. you even try rejecting him by frantically waving your hands, panicked and unsure of what to do.

until you hear him.

"back. the. fuck. off!" comes a shout from the pitch; the voice very familiar to your ears that you can't help but instantly relax from hearing it.

your seat was relatively close to the field which meant that those around you could hear the distinct voice of itoshi rin ripping through the air, fury evident and baring its fangs as he all but punches the barrier with each word.

however, everyone in the stadium could see itoshi rin as all cameras pan to him, witnessing his wrath as he shouts from the top of his voice. everyone around you is silent and you don't know whether you want to shrivel up into the ground or run to him and embrace him as tightly as you can. to find sanctuary in his warmth, away from the pushy guy who can't wrap his head around the idea that no means no.

itoshi rin decides for you, effortlessly jumping over the (considerably high???) barrier and making a beeline for you, skipping some stairs. thank goodness for a side seat because he comes to a stop before you, adrenaline still coursing through his veins as he looks at you with heated passion, huffing and puffing.

"rin?" you whisper. he doesn't hear it, looking up at the various stadium screens to see if the kiss cams were still on you. smirking in satisfaction when he realises they are, rin all but pulls you up from your seat and kisses you with so much intensity and fervour that you feel lightheaded. very much so.

the stadium is cheering but you can't focus on it, not when rin's holding you to him so closely, practically trying to meld you to him. not even trying to push him away is enough to snap him out of whatever primal instinct has taken over him, so you grab his face and jerk away from him, not wanting to get too carried away.

before you can utter a word, rin looks behind you, and the coldness in his expression says everything you need to know.

he doesn’t care about dignity at this point. he just needed the world to know that you were his.

"you're dead if you try that again, you lukewarm fuckface," he then turns to you. you shiver from the intensity of his gaze. "i'll kill him next time," he promises before hugging you close to him once again, practically glaring at the cameras. "i'll kill anyone who tries to get to close."

THANK YOU FOR THIS ANON would u believe me if i said i'd been waiting for an opportunity like this? well i'm speaking the truth and i'm so glad u gave me the opportunity i've been waiting for AYEEEEEEE COME BACK ANY TIME YOU ARE SO WELCOME ON THE EARTHTOOZ BLOG, PRETTY <33

—

© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.

[5eraphim]

i love all the tags on this post so much its unreal

to be fair- its a pile of coke on medic AND spy's graphic.

i forgot about his sour cream. absolutely mortified. i'll never recover from this. humiliated.

WAIT HAS HE BEEN DRINKING THE JARATE ALL ALONG??

peepaw moment 🥰🥵

posting this here instead of on main, but its a solid gold ask, honestly. also got me thinkin of what i would headcanon the merc's food preferences would be, and i made some collages of what i imagine they would provide and share with their "long-term guests/off the grid roommate"

all speculation obvi- except medic and his old man candies. that one's just canon.

[cumtastiics]

i do NOT fw the emperor!! (i need the kingdom to start a revolution immediately) but what if darling was a overworked maid instead of a concubine ,:3

yan emperor

FYM! THATS IT!!!!! yandere emperor is a silly lil guy

he didn't notice you. to be fair, he hardly noticed anyone - hell, he struggled to memorize the name of the concubine he saw the most.

but you seemed cute. the way you frantically ran from one part of the castle to another, trying to get your tasks done for a day. you seemed exhausted most of the time, but that didn't matter much to him.

he overheard one day though, the head maid ordering you to do tasks that were ordered to her, tasks that a new maid shouldn't be doing. he didn't stop her though.

he was curious. curious about you. curious why you still worked here. you were obviously overworked, so why? you didn't receive a good pay either.

"you're paying a lot of attention to that maid," his younger sister brought up one day. "is she one of the submissive ones?"

it wouldn't be a lie to say his younger sister was like him.

"i think so. she's hardworking."

"are you gonna make her your new concubine? they've all been crying to me about how you haven't slept with them recently."

"no.. i don't think i will. maybe i'll keep her as a maid for now."

he leaves you a small present. a heart locket necklace. inside the locket, there was a small paper, one with his initials.

but you couldn't assume it was him who left it.

that would be disrespectful.

[opal-owl-flight]

Decimation.

Youve been stealing back millions of eggs from Grizzco for years. And in a single night, they took it all back.

How does it feel to face a possible extinction?

Uhh lore abt Grizzco and the salmonids below!

So in my interp, Grizzco started somewhat small, bc back then Grizz and...an associate... were doing everything by themselves. When his associate went nuts, and almost ended the world by driving the nearby salmonid nations nuts as well, Inkadia launched Project Piranesi. (More on that another time.) Grizz had to think of another way to get those eggs..

…how perfect was it then, that Inkopolis, a fairly new city, was having a bit of a salmonid problem?

Grizz inserted his corporation as part of the damage control along the run routes. it only grew from there.

he expanded to the Splatlands later, though admittedly the folks there were more adapted to the salmonids compared to Inkadia. Its not as strong a hold but Splatsville and its surrounding establishments appreciated the extra precautions Grizzco provided.

Neos born fighting for her life and for her clans. Its why shes so aggressive and finds it difficult to be anything but. If shes not angry, fighting for her clans to have a life of peace…for a present and future where she can live -- what is she?

she and 3 arent so different, in that regard.

------------

Grizzco says that the last 7 big run locales had "unusual magnetic readings" and in my world that just means THEY DAMN PUT IT THERE!!!!

They intentionally put something there to confuse the migrators and to steal the next generation -- and the Inkfish? Ofc theyd fight for their homes.

The Splatlandians TRIED to avoid the routes when they built the city after thousands of years of observation. Sorta like the dykes and canals some cities build next to swelling rivers.

Another comparison is that the big runs are just like other natural calamities in the eyes of the nations. Its like a flood, an earthquake, a typhoon. Hell its somewhat announced that way too. The infrastructure is built with the runs in mind. The powers that be have built countermeasures.

*I say try bc some sleazy/unaware corporations still built along those routes bc of the cheaper land/other "economical reasons."

And then Inkadia just wasnt aware at all, being a newer city compared to the ancient splatlands.

Grizzco intentionally causes property damage for bigger gains. Theyve been suffering a "shortage" thanks to Neo3 and the platoon's banditry. In a bid to take everything back and more, they decided to make the biggest event in the Splatlands the salmonid's next target.

They know that EVERYONE will show up to it.

---------

I think seeing that counter keep ticking up gives Neo3 a sense of creeping dread. Thats the number of eggs she put back in the sea. And more. All done in a single night. All her work, down the drain.

The platoon does manage to get a LOT of it back but god. What about the fallen runners, who were supposed to get to the actual spawning grounds?

Those lives disrespected and their bodies unable to feed the spawn. (Theres only so much the survivors can drag back.)

I wonder too, how many of those runners arent there for the runs at this point. They are there to kill.

Ticked off by the persistent attacks and the misdirection. As Polyphemus says in Epic, "Take from you what you take from me."

----------

After multi-magnetic field disruptors in the biggest run, these salmonid have had enough and want to hit back. I wouldnt blame them...god, I wouldnt blame them

The salmonids have never resorted to kidnapping any inkfish. Theyve killed. Yeah. Part of the whole running ceremony. But it was always just a part of that.

To actually go out of their way to fight instead of spawn? Thats different. In the grand run, inkfish may notice that some bosses arent dropping golden eggs. Bc they were never here to spawn. Theyre here to drag every inkfish they find into hell.

Subsequent big runs may end up with more and more of those eggless bosses.

----------

Happy 700 mil!! I HAD MANY NEO3 AND SALMONID THOUGHTS. THINGS ARE GETTING SO FUCKED UP IN SPLOONWORLD. The platoon as a whole is trying to restore peace between the Splatlands, Inkadia, Octaria AND the Salmonid nations, but unless Inkadia and the Splatlands change (COUGHS mostly Inkadia), nothing can really be done.

This is the shit 3 fights for. That harmony is what they dream of. The whole world rests on their shoulders and they press on, ever forward.

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Pantyhose or pantywhores?

barbie dolls:James x regulus x Lily x fem reader

word:2.5k ish

summmary: you and your partners go to a dinner and you're hot so they take you home as fast as possible

warnings: regulus likes pantyhose, choking you revive and give, James eats you out and regulus fingers Lily, tights stay on during sex, rushed ending, very little dirty talk, James gets called a whore oops, I think that's it but idk

request: yeah how'd you know are you watching me

Regulus loved pantyhose on you, spefically the ones that he bought you for your birthday. They had flowers swirling around the legs, lillies. James loved tight dresses. He loved when his lovers sat down in them. Their thighs would push the hem up. James was a big lover of thighs. Lily loved cardigans, revealing tops, and dress that hugged your hips. She loved hip dips, often dragging her tongue over the indents.

Today appeared to their lucky day. You four were going to have dinner with Sirius and Remus. Sirius told you to dress like a high end prostute that has gotten married to a rich man, and stopped working. With that helpful statement, you dressed in your stockings, a short and flowing dress, with a pretty cardigan to pull it all together.

When you stepped out to leave, all three of your partners looked up and froze. You noticed their change, suddenly feeling like you should change. Regulus closed his book, setting it on the side table next to him.

“I don’t think Sirius will miss us. I’m sure we could stay home.” Regulus muttered. Lily hummed in agreeance. You felt your shoulders sink even more.

“Is it that bad?” You asked. James sputtered.

“It’s that good.” James said, staring dircetly at your thighs. You scoffed and rolled your eyes.

“Oh do pull yourselves together.” You declared, moving towards the front door. You were pulling you coat off the hook and shrugging it on just as the three of them joined you.

“Im compsed, I just also want to see you naked.” Regulus said, stamping a kiss to your temple.

“And Sirius said they had news to share.” You argued, handing Regulus’ coat to him. Lily joined you at your side, pulling on her own jacket.

“Yes, I agree. I can suck your tits after we have dinner.” Lily smiled at you innocently. James huffed, snatching his jacket from Lily’s hands.

“Damn Sirius and his annocments.” James grumbled. You were finally out the door and headed towards the restraunt in no time.

Dinner seemed to be particularly hard for your lovers. They were staring at you most of the evening. Lily sat across from you, Regulus sat next to her. On the sides you had James, across from Regulus, and Sirius. He was sat across from Remus. Lily was the first to catch on to your antics. She noticed you leaning over the table more often, and squeezing your arms together. Lily understood what you were doing and was trying her hardest to not let you see her staring down your shirt. Not to let you win, she was not going to look at your boobs. That’s just disrespectful.

Regulus was the second to catch on. He first jumped at the feeling of you bumping your foot by the hem of his trousers, making the dishware clink. Sirius looked over at him with an eyebrow raised.

“You alright?” Remus asked. Regulus nodded, making up some lie about seeing a waiter almost drop a plate. You gave him a worried look, playing the act of his innocent partner. Then just as things were settling, you started pushing the hem of his pants up his calf. Regulus looked up from his plate, glaring at you. Lily was still distracted, staring down your top.

James was the last. He assumed it was just that he was particularly horny, not that you were purposely pushing the edge of your dress up. His eyes were trained on your thighs the entire dinner. Lily eventually kicked him, coming out of her boob trance. James startled, looking up at you. You smirked at him and shrugged your shoulder, thats when he conected Regulus’ blush and your displayed thighs.

Dinner was hell for all of them, trying their hardest to pull themselves together and not eyefuck you. Regulus ignored the feeling of you playing footsie with him. Lily was trying her hardest to ignore your cleavage (extremly hard). James was trying to focus on the conversation, not your very biteable thighs. Eventually Sirius and Remus made their annocment, they were getting a new couch, and you were being pushed out the door.

You were home in no time, James putting aside his good Samaritan agenda to speed. Regulus was pulling your coat and cardigan off and throwing them in the general direction of coat rack. You heard a clatter but it left your mind as Regulus pulled you against him. He kissed with a fever you weren’t sure if you’d even seen. You heard Lily’s heels click towards you both. You felt her hand grip the fabric of the back of your dress. You were tugged towards your shared bedroom, taking Regulus along. You heard James’ heavy footfalls following you three.

Lily unzipped the back of your dress as Regulus prodded at your mouth with his tongue. You slipped your arms out of the sleeves, letting the dress pool at your ankles. You pulled back from Regulus as Lily unhooked your bra. She pulled the straps down your arms, before turning you face her. You found her already naked. James was probably the culprit, too egar for his own good. Lily quickly pulled you into a kiss, running her hands along the tiny net stretched over your hips. She pushed her tongue to meet yours as she dropped her hands to your ass, squeezing.

You nipped at her bottom lip. You felt a warm hand press against your back. You pulled away from Lily, wrapping your arms around James’ neck. You pulled him in for a kiss as well. James rested his hands on the back of your thighs before pulling you off the ground. He gently placed you on your back against the mattress. You laughed as smiled against your mouth. Regulus patted James’ shoulder. James moved out of the way so Regulus could reach you. He gently lifted one leg by the ankle. Regulus slipped your shoe off before setting it down by the nightstand. He did the same with your other shoe as Lily moved to sit next to you on the bed. Regulus then spread your legs slowly, stepping between them. He leaned down and gently kissed your lips. Regulus pulled back to stare into your eyes with all the seriousness his face could muster.

“I’ll buy you a new set, ma amour.” You gave him a confused face. Regulus dropped his hands between your legs. He grabbed either side of the fragile fabric before pulling in opposite directions. You heard a loud rip and a chill breeze float over you. You heard Regulus groan before placing a small kiss to your inner thigh, the pantyhose covering the skin. You glanced down to check his handiwork. Regulus had ripped a tear along the seam down the middle of the stockings. James peered over your raised leg. He looked back at you with a raised eyebrow.

“No underwear? Who are you? Naomi Lapaglia?” James asked. Lily leaned over at the mention of no underwear. She hummed and looked back at you. Regulus was too busy kissing at your leg to even notice.

“First of all James, It’s quite embarrassing you know her by name. Secondly, they’d make lines. Thirdly, Regulus likes it more that way.” You said, pointing at Regulus who was now tracing the lines on your calf. James glanced over at Regulus. Regulus side eyed James before making eye contact with him finally.

“You’re such a sheltered Victorian man, Regulus.” James muttered. Regulus glared at James.

“I know you can not be talking Mr. Please-tie-me-up-and-call-me-a-slut.” Regulus whispered against the skin of your knee. James gasped and pointed at Regulus, ready to start a war.

“Boys. Do try to get your priorities straight. You have two naked women on your bed and your more focused on wining an argument. “ Lily said, motioning to both you and herself. James dropped his hand.

“Too right you are, Ma chère.” Regulus said, leaning over you to kiss Lily. Regulus' attention was dragged back to your stockings, the feeling under his fingers pulling him back. He pressed his lips the a stitched flower under your knee. He looked up, making eye contact with you as he dragged a finger down the inside of your thigh. You sighed happily at him. Regulus moved back to you.

“vous êtes si belle, ma amour.” You smiled into his kiss. Regulus' hand dragged up and down the side of your legs, feeling the fabric beneath his fingertips. James patted Regulus' hip.

“Alright, alright, quite hogging.” James said. Regulus pulled back from you and glared at him. He rolled his eyes and stepped away from you, crawling on top the bed. Regulus moved to Lily, meeting her lips. James kneeled down to the floor, settling on his knees. He pulled you closer to the edge of the bed by your hips.

James glanced up at you, meeting your eyes. You nodded. He delved his face down, warming your folds with a wide swip of his tongue. You moaned, missing the feeling of James between your legs. Lily pulled away from Regulus, pressing her lips to your sternum. James moved his tongue with skill, having memorized the shape of your cunt.

You felt Regulus' hand gently stroke your cheek. You looked up at him. You smiled. Lily brought your nipple into her mouth, circling it with her tongue. You groaned at the feeling of two of your partners running their tongue over your body. James pulled your legs over his shoulders, bringing you closer. Regulus kissed your temple, tracing your eyebrow. Lily massaged your other tit just as James circled your clit. You sighed, meeting Regulus' eyes above you.

James focused his attention on your clit as Lily switched nipples. Regulus pulled you into a kiss, swallowing your whines. You pressed your thighs to James' ears. He pushed his tongue into your hole. You nipped Regulus' lip in response. Regulus slid one hand around to your throat. He tightened his hold on the sides. You crossed your ankles behind James' back.

James moaned into you, the vibrations making you roll your eyes back. You looked over her, seeing James staring up at you from between your legs. You threw your head back into Regulus' lap. Regulus released your neck, letting your blood reach your head again. Lily pulled away from your chest, pinching both nipples now. She kissed you before dipping her head now to your neck. Regulus dragged his hand down your sternum and kissed your cheek. Lily leaned over his arm, switching sides of your neck to mark there too.

Regulus placed his hand on Lily's arched back, following the curve of her ass. He pinched her cheek. Lily pulled her head away from your neck. She flicked her hair off her shoulder, glaring at Regulus. Regulus lurched forward and pressed his lips to hers. Lily pulled him closer by the back of his head, meeting his tongue. You watched them closely, focused on their movements against each other. Regulus slid his hand down her back and past her hips, dipping between her legs. You couldn't see the movement of his hands but you could assume by Lily's moans it was good.

Lily sighed and leaned down further, resting on her elbows. She pressed her forehead into the mattress as Regulus kissed her back, continuing his movements between her legs. Over Lily's back you could see James watching them, he had pulled his head up with his jaw slack. You glared at him, jutting your hips up. James moved his eyes from Regulus' hand circling Lily's clit to your face. You raised an eyebrow. James winked at you before moving back between your legs.

You moaned at his tongue. You had been so focused on Lily and Regulus you didn't notice the lack of his warmth. With it returned you remembered how nice his tongue felt. Lily pushed her hips back into Regulus' hand as she let out a whimper. James' eyes rolled back the sight, groaning into you. You pressed your thighs into his ears, dropping your head back.

As Lily's moans grew closer together so did yours. Regulus kissed Lily’s back as he countinued rubbing her clit. James kept his face squeezed tightly between your legs, pushing his tongue into your hole over and over again. You felt James moving in a repetive motion, his nose bumping into your clit. You slapped Regulus’ thigh. He snapped his head at you. You pointed at James before he moved his nose just right, making you moan and squeeze your eyes shut. Regulus looked over the edge of the bed to see what James was doing.

Regulus saw James rutting his clothed cock against the edge of the mattress. Regulus sat bacck, keeping his fingers busy as he lightly pressed a kiss to your cheek. He whispered in your ear what James was doing. You pulled Regulus into a proper kiss. Regulus moved back, kissing on Lily’s neck. You tapped James on his back with your heel. James looked up, his eyes a little glazed.

“Youre such a pathetic slut, we haven’t even touched you and you're humping against the edge of bed like a whore.” You mocked James’ whines. He squeezed his eyes shut as he kept his mouth working. Regulus pulled you into a kiss again. You nipped at his bottom lip before James knocked his nose up into your clit in just the right angle. You dropped your head back, shutting your eyes as he repeated this. Regulus kissed down your exposed throat, leaving a few marks behind. You felt Lily push herself further down into the mattress, her chest pressing into your stomach. Regulus returned his attention to her. You dropped your hand to her nearby neck, squeezing at the sides. Lily let out a strangled squeal, rocking her hips back into Regulus’ hand.

James was quickening his motions, your muscles tightening. You felt your orgasm quickly approaching, tightening your grip on Lily’s neck. You noticed her stretching her fingers out in the sheets. You knocked James in the back with your heel as you tightened your jaw from his unending torture. He plunged his tongue into your hole again before pulling your clit between his lips. You moaned as you finished, James moving quickly to lap at you. You heard Lily orgasm soon after, dropping her forehead onto the mattress. You released her neck and pulled your thighs away from James’ ears.

When his head popped up, his chin was wet, he was grinning like a fool , and the sides of his face had the inprint of your tights. Regulus’ hand came into your veiw of James’ face, slipping his fingers past James’ lips. James stared up into Regulus’ eyes as James swirled his tongue around his fimgertips. Eventually you were all seperating yourselves and dragging each other to the bathroom.

You wrapped up your night sitting on the couch in fresh pajamas, a bowl of ice cream in your lap, and Megamind playing on your tv. Regulus mentioned during your bath that he had never seen it and James was not allowing that. You passed out in Lily’s lap before Megamid met Tighten.

special thanks to @q1mblrrd give them love 🩷

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Snippets from the super serious and evil communication array shared by the super serious and evil Black Water Sinking Ships and Crimson Rain Sought Flower

Aka He Xuan and Hua Cheng's groupchat

In no particular order, contains spoilers

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Hua Cheng: "Did you find him yet?"

He Xuan: "No."

Hua Cheng: "I'm increasing your debt 5% with every day you dont find him."

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Hua Cheng: "He Xuan stop digging tunnels to hide from me, where's your monthly payment?"

He Xuan: "I dont know, Hua Cheng, where's the Crown Prince of Xianle?"

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Hua Cheng: "XuanXuan i need a favor."

He Xuan: "No. Die."

Hua Cheng: "Im already dead. And youre indebted to me, so..."

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He Xuan: "You ran out of snacks and wine so tell Yin Yu to get some more. Also the Crown Prince of Xianle ascended."

Hua Cheng: "HE ASCENDED??? AGAIN???"

He Xuan: "Yeah. Dont forget about the snacks though."

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He Xuan: full offense showing up as the crown prince of xianle's ghost groom is corny as hell

Hua Cheng: show me where i asked

He Xuan: when i helped pick your outfit???

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During the Banyue arc:

He Xuan: "Do you really have to wear that fuck ass ponytail?"

Hua Cheng: "Do you really have to disguise yourself as a woman with huge tits?"

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Hua Cheng: "He Xuan where the hell are you?!"

He Xuan: "Eating."

Hua Cheng: "And when are you getting here?!"

He Xuan: "After im done eating."

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He Xuan: "How the fuck could you afford 3000 lanterns???"

Hua Cheng: "Not from collecting your debt, thats for sure."

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Hua Cheng: "He Xuan if you ever put his highness in danger again im going to gut you like your fish."

He Xuan: "My fish dont have any guts."

Hua Cheng: "Precisely."

He Xuan: "Duly noted."

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Hua Cheng: "I told you beating you up like that would sell the story!"

He Xuan: "A little too well. That was personal."

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Hua Cheng: I KISSED HIM!

He Xuan: congrats

Hua Cheng: you could at least PRETEND to be excited

He Xuan: its been 800 years HuaHua, im tired.

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He Xuan: so did you hit?

Hua Cheng: what the fuck, blackwater, thats so disrespectful to even think, let alone say, i should kill you for even-

He Xuan: so yes

Hua Cheng:...yeah

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He Xuan: DID YOU JUST FUCKING DIE???

Hua Cheng: yes but also no, see you in like a year. You still gotta pay back the debt though

He Xuan: i hope you stay dead

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Hua Cheng: i will find your ashes and disperse you into a chamber pot

He Xuan: you should be grateful you get to share a small enclosed space with the crown prince of xianle. Im offering you a romance trope on a silver plate.

Hua Cheng: in a coffin??

He Xuan: i took artistic liberties