#i think its a process of elimination thing
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remember when wordle came out and every programmer and their mother was making algorithms to automate guessing it. those were good times
#ok only i remember because in 2022 i basically lived in the computer lab.#it's actually kind of an interesting algorithm#mmn#i think its a process of elimination thing#ok structures - list of all possible 5-letter words - so list of string.. very possibly represented as list of 5-idx char arrays#n pre-order the list based on best guesses. idk how to do this some informaiton theory thing *waves hands*#i just dont want to go thru the hassle of trying to find the statistical best guess every round too. i'm 100% sure it's possible#-for someone smarter than me#we'll make it start with the statistically best word. uhh what was it.#'CRANE' < i know 3b1b put out another video correcting but im too lazy to look it up#oh ok i'll use penis. 'PENIS'#then.. for each guess.. get info on what possible letters r there n in what positions.. n thenbased on that iterate thru the original list#-and create a copy of it BUT JUST THE WORDS THAT STILL WORK - throw out the bad ones#uhh yeah go thru that list n pick the first valid word from that list#repeat until the game spits out 5 green boxes#yah#yap#ok i go back to drawing
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creating a spreadsheet of the trio's lines in the webnovel vs webcomic (as one does), and. i am on the FLOOR their characterisation differs so much from the webnovel and webcomic?!?!??? 😭😭 they took away all of hestio's flavour!!! and Ephael is a lot more stereotypical sunshine too i am losing my mind
Gone:
In the toy mansion, Ephael said that Tesilid was not just his friend, but his "best friend", so Ailette gave him more food. Hestio got very visibly sad and angry.
Whenever they're in battle, Hestio kind of talks to Ephael like he's a P*kemon ("Ephael, go and bite them!" / "Uh... okay.")
Ephael is pretty quiet and subdued throughout the toy mansion, while in the comic he's very artificially cheery.
ALMOST THE ENTIRETY OF HESTIO'S LINES WHEN THEY SNUCK TESILID FOOD IN PRISON IS GONE?!?!?!?? 😭😭😭😭😭😭 THE VIBES ARE SO DIFFERENT
Webnovel has BOTH Hestio and Ephael handing over food (in the webcomic only Ephael brought food. I dunno what Hestio was doing there.)
ONLY the webnovel has Hestio's extremely cute "What? Are you going to refuse the food because the rules are important? (annoyed but also genuinely scared)" / ".....I thought I'd have to shove the food down your mouth if you refused. Well, eat up."
The webcomic has Hestio suddenly ruin the entire mood by saying "🙄😒 did you know 🤓 the vatican is taking things out on you bc you refuse to kill heretics. also idc if the heretics are actually evil or not, what matters is that the vatican wants to know if youre on their side." like stfu please 😭 In the webnovel Hestio only brings this up because Ephael went "cheer up! if it werent for the city making a fuss, the vatican wouldn't have done this" and Hestio corrected him bc he wanted Tesilid not to misunderstand his situation with the Vatican.
What did they make comic!Hestio so callous for !!!!! 😭😭😭 Hestio is a SOFTIE with a mean streak and sharp tongue!!!
#a transmigrator's privilege#the perks of being an s class heroine#vatican trio#hestio ligenel#ephael chaletino#CRYING MY EYES OUT#THEIR NOVEL CHARACTERISATION IS SO CUTE THO?!?!??????#spoilers in next tags#on god if they take away hestio shutting up and ephael taking over the convo in the reunion scene i am going to CRY#that scene is so precious to me?!??#novel dynamic of hestio being the one taking the lead and ephael backing him up is so precious to me#anyway if anyone wants access to the spreadsheet lmk.... sobbing#anw i started this mini project bc ora you said that you couldnt tell who was talking in mirror dungeon (so valid)#and i was like oh the more casual one is eph-- ....is it actually? where did i get this impression#im done w the tutorial arc but its alr making me MISERABLE wym their characterisation changes so much 😭😭😭😭#anw in their childhood they both talk in v similar ways#as adults one of them is casual and the other uses more formal speech patterns#also if any one is cussing either ephael or tesilid out its almost definitely hestio. lol.#by the process of elimination (no one else in the party would be so rude to ephael)#and ephael is generally more chill about tesilid#u cant really tell while reading but ephael very rarely says bad things about tesilid#its usually hestio that's mean about it and hes so loud + ephael doesnt disagree with him so its v easy to attribute it to him too#i mean ephael prob also shares the same thoughts. but its usually hestio voicing it and w that much negativity#ephaels just like lol our boy tesilid is up to his usual hijinks again. haha#while hestio is like UGH this ASSHOLE can you fucking BELIEVE HIM. just LOOK at him what does he think he's doing#ephael (neutral): oh tesilid not again#hestio (screaming and full of hate): tesilid not again!!
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Okay but guys
GUYS
#trystan is gender of choice so it can’t be them#it HAS to be lydea or astrid#and it honestly could be either of them because this book loves its side plots#but you have to admit that lydea makes the most sense#she *was* the crown princess when trystan was in exile & she and the queen doubtless had plans to maintain a politically-conservative rule#but that would be predicated on a) eliminating trystan#b) eliminating the act for heir equity (because otherwise vasili would take lydea’s place)#and c) making sure to eliminate juliana in the process (because she knew that lydea didn’t belong in the conventional line of succession)#killing juliana & framing trystan for it did all those things in one go#but then trystan came back & wanted to revive the act with nadja – so it was necessary to kill her#and then sebastyan kept pushing for the act – so he had to be killed as well#other supporting evidence for this is that lydea went mysteriously MIA at the time of sebastyan’s death#contradictory evidence is that it’d be odd for her to *kill* him to eliminate him rather than just letting him take the fall for the murders#the only explanation I can think of is that maybe sebastyan also had incriminating intel on lydea?#remember: he did have juliana’s locket in his possession#and he may have written something about lydea in the ledger we handed over to her#and we did hear him on the phone at the gala to somebody he’d made a ‘deal’ with#maybe he’d promised keep lydea’s illegitimacy secret in exchange for something? but then she realised that if he got accused he would tattle#it’s all only thoughts but it’s SO interesting to think about#I can’t wait to see what happens next#playchoices#choices: stories you play#crimes of passion#fandom essay#original post
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autistic expression in a neurotypical art gallery
this morning i thought i would talk about AUTHOR VOICE specifically when it comes to AUTISM. as autistic author i have learned to turn the dial up and down when writing characters. rose from CAMP DAMASCUS is basically exactly where i rest on spectrum and this shows in a few ways
in roses internal monolog you will see that she uses phrases like ‘my friend’ to talk about folks where neurotypical buckaroos might just use first name. or with her parents she will think of them in FIRST NAME instead of ‘mom’ or 'dad’. this is way many autistic buds THINK
to explain this trot I will say it is not a way of disrespect or anything like that, it is simply that these terms are TECHNICALLY all correct and interchangeable. socially, autistic buds often learn to mask by pinpointing WHEN to use these words that logically the same to us.
in CAMP DAMASCUS i left these things in to create character, but if you go back in my writing you will see it. in TINGLERS this is because they are honest in PUNK ROCK way. unfiltered expressions. in earlier novels its admittedly just because i did not realize it was unusual yet
point is, ROSES internal dialog in camp damascus is neurodivergent and i CHOSE not to change her thought process in this way, because we are BOTH autistic. this can be a risk because some neurotypical buckaroos will read it and just think ‘what a strange way. this is bad writing’
camp damascus reviews are actually very good it is a very well received book by any measure, but you will see some folks kind of making fun of these traits (i do not think they would do this if they knew it was authentic autistic way BUT we cannot educate EVERYONE on this trot)
POINT IS i am now faced with an artistic choice in later books. do i write with my AUTISTIC voice even though some neurotypical readers find it awkward? in technical sense some readers WILL think each book is better if i eliminate my autistic tendencies in later edits
my advice is this: character voice IS SO IMPORTANT, but a big part of writing is finding the place between YOUR voice and your CHARACTER voice where both are authentically existing in some way. like acting, you are always bringing something of yourself even when you 'disappear'
when writing BURY YOUR GAYS i did not plan to make misha on the spectrum, but misha is part of me and i am on the spectrum. what i have realized over time is that ALL OF MY CHARACTERS will have these traits in some way because i wrote them, and i will never disappear completely
so when edits came for BURY YOUR GAYS and misha, i took that dial and i turned it farther towards neurotypical than i did with rose, BUT I DID NOT TURN IT OFF COMPLETELY. in literal sense, i left some of those ‘my friends’, because i will always bring MY VOICE to my art as well
i am proud of being on the spectrum. while my voice may not hit every convention of ‘good writing’ it is authentically ‘MY writing’ and i think that is more important than any outside checklist for ‘correct literary expression’. and guess what THE RESULTS ARE IN, MY BOOKS DO WELL
so if you are an artist getting feedback or reviews, consider which parts you can LEARN FROM and grow and change, and which parts are just AUTHENTICALLY YOU. because while your honesty may defy conventions and seem unusual to some folks, IT IS OFTEN WHAT MAKES YOUR ART SING
feel free to turn that dial marked 'YOUR TRUE VOICE' up and down when it makes sense. i do this all the time. but i have long since decided i will never turn that dial OFF completely. your voice is your POWER buckaroo, dont be afraid to sing with it
#writing#actually autistic#chuck tingle#love is real#camp damascus#bury your gays#buckaroo lifestyle#tingleverse#queer horror
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That cool bee book I was talking about a while ago mostly refrains from philosophical digressions (which I think is a strength, I appreciated how the author had total confidence that just clearly presenting the facts about his subject would be enough to make a fascinating book without the need for any "...and here's why that should blow your mind" editorializing, and he's totally right), but there was one towards the end I've found myself thinking about a lot, which is: he wants people to stop using "self-consciousness" (i.e. the concept exemplified by the mirror test but used implicitly or explicitly in tons of other contexts) as a criterion for which animals can be considered sentient/morally relevant/having significant inner lives/however you want to describe it. Not, as you might expect, because he thinks it's an unreasonably high bar to meet, but because it's such a low bar that it produces no distinctions: he argues that basically any animal with any kind of developed central nervous system has to have some kind of self-consciousness almost by definition.
The example I remember best is: imagine you can see an object in your visual field getting closer to you. No matter the specifics, it's obviously always going to make a huge difference to how you evaluate this situation whether the cause of the object getting closer is a] the object is moving towards you, or b] you are moving towards the object. If a, then something might be pursuing you or falling on you or a thousand other things that are just not even worth considering in the case of b. But visually the two cases are indistinguishable; if you're going to be able to track the difference, your brain has to be putting at least some work into keeping tabs on what your own intentions are and what choices you're making as you move through the world, predicting the expected consequences of those choices, and maintaining a fairly tidy mental separation between stuff in the world that you're making happen and stuff in the world that's just happening of its own volition. Otherwise, every time you walk towards a rock you'll freak out and think the rock is rolling into you, or vice versa.
And it's not hard to see how this applies to your entire sensory world right, it applies to sounds and tactile sensations and even feelings internal to your body to some extent, if you're going to both perceive the world and take actions in the world then it's mandatory to mentally separate yourself and the world before that's going to yield even an ounce of helpful information, you just can't function successfully on the most basic level if you're processing stuff that you're doing on the same level as stuff that's happening, if you're in that state then you simply don't have a usable model of the world at all, you just have chaos.
So you can very easily eliminate a certain seductive narrative about the evolution of consciousness, which starts with very primitive animals who are mentally processing nothing but basic sensory inputs, then as you rise up the chain more complex animals are forming concepts of objects and building up a more nuanced understanding of the world, until finally you approach humans and the mind becomes so subtle and sophisticated that it gains access to this special advanced meta-level of thought where it can even understand itself! No, the self is precisely the one idea that has to be in place from the very beginning, before any of it has even the most rudimentary practical value. Self-consciousness isn't the pinnacle of the mind's evolution, it's one of the lowest, most basic foundations that everything else builds off of.
I think this is really cool stuff! I don't know enough about the relevant academic philosophy of mind debates to say how far all this does or doesn't speak to that, maybe someone will tell me the "self-consciousness" concept being attacked here is a strawman somehow, I don't know. But it's definitely impacted the way I (just a dumb guy who likes creatures) think about our small small cousins and what their lives might be like and I think it's super interesting. If you think it's interesting too then maybe you wanna buy The Mind of a Bee by Lars Chittka and read it. It's mostly not about this stuff, as I say it's light on philosophy and heavy on bee-life immersion, but if you actually read this whole post then you're probably in the market for that I feel like.
#creatures: they've got a lot going on#I think we'd better just let them get on with it#nohopereadio#uninteresting#posts where I tried
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maybe I am wrong but I think there's an interesting paradox in zionism's denial of the diaspora and it's appropriation of the diaspora because it can't form a culture without taking from the diaspora itself
its a paradox of zionism in general, from its start its been a movement that took cultural and political influence from its surroundings– being 19th century europe– its a colonial and nationalist project modeled after other colonial and nationalist european projects, yet tries to portray itself as indigenous. part of this is from shifts in political atmosphere and self-perception of zionism over the past 100 years. but there is an 'israeli culture' you can point to that is not taken from the diaspora but rather an inversion of what it conceives the diaspora to be, for the diaspora to be seen as weak, sickly, overly intellectual, cosmopolitan and disconnected from the land, thus israeli culture is more militaristic, chauvinistic, with an emphasis on the masculine, fetishizing labor and agricultural work. the paradox is this cultural conception is basically lacking everything that made jewish diaspora culture interesting and leave a long lasting mark on western history, jewish culture as a minority culture in particular. i think the cultural output of colonial or imperial nations mostly interested in projecting strength and militarism is generally poor, chauvinistic, and easily forgotten because it lacks the qualities that make particular things significant historically artistically etc. like look at the cultural atmosphere of the weimar republic, or even imperial germany (after relative) jewish emancipation and the influence of minority cultures vs cultural production in the nazi period and afterwards, or american settler culture in the colonial period vs cultural forms created by oppressed people in america. if you are interested more specifically in israels conception of itself as like a negation of the diaspora the artist eli valley made a cartoon about this, israel man and diaspora boy. israeli society historically tried to erase diaspora culture within israel, like discouraging people from speaking yiddish and banning yiddish cultural production. but also needed to construct a positive cultural identity (i dont mean positive to mean good, just like as in creating something rather than negating or destroying) and appropriated palestinian culture, through taking indigenous names, food, etc. if you want to read about this process in israel as well as other settler colonies like australia and canada and the us the article settler colonialism and the elimination of the native by patrick wolfe is a pretty significant article. i would say as far as i can tell israeli culture today seems to be mostly predicated on this, not appropriation of diaspora jewish culture, which they seem to look down on generally. but theres not much interest in israeli literature or art worldwide, besides in germany (lol), and perhaps their failure to create anything worthwhile is part of why israeli archival and academic institutions seek to claim ownership of diaspora jewish culture. part of it is just to legitimize themselves and give themselves prestige as well i think
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Would you mind writing about a yandere emperor who falls in love with a royal mage/sage who works for the empire?
I really enjoyed working on this request! I think it was a little longer than i was planning but i would love to continue exploring a more fantazy style world for my characters!!
Anyway here is what you asked!!
Yandere emperor x mage/sage reader
As you trailed behind your master, the esteemed sage of the kingdom, you couldn't help but feel dwarfed by the towering walls of the palace. Each step you took seemed small in comparison to the grandeur that surrounded you.
Your master had been summoned to attend a crucial meeting with the young emperor, who had recently ascended to the throne after the tragic loss of their mother, the late empress. The country was gripped by the ravages of a merciless plague, and the weight of responsibility rested heavily on the shoulders of the young ruler.
With each passing moment, the air seemed to grow heavier, carrying the weight of grief and uncertainty that plagued the nation. The palace, once a symbol of opulence and power, now held an air of somberness as it grappled with the aftermath of loss.
As you quickened your steps to keep up with your master's hurried pace, you couldn't help but wonder what role you would play in this meeting.
Your steps came to a halt as you stood before a towering door, its majestic presence adorned with glistening jewels and shimmering gold. The heavy doors slowly swung open, revealing a grand chamber bathed in soft light. As you stepped inside, your eyes fell upon a young man seated upon the magnificent throne, his regal demeanor exuding a mix of authority and youthfulness.
Your master, radiating confidence and wisdom, advanced with a steady stride towards the young emperor. Their years of knowledge and experience seemed to lend an air of respectability to the room, commanding attention and reverence. You, on the other hand, found yourself waddling nervously behind, feeling small and insignificant in the presence of such power.
The young emperor's gaze shifted from your master to you, curiosity flickering in his eyes. A momentary silence hung in the air, as if the weight of the world rested upon this encounter.
One thing you appreciated was the rule that the sages were the only people that didn't have to kneel when meeting a ruler, because you were sure that you would trip with your own feet if you tried to.
"Your majesty," your master began, their voice filled with a gentle yet commanding tone. "We have come in response to your personal summons, fully aware of the significance behind this audience."
The young emperor nodded solemnly, acknowledging the unspoken understanding between you all. The weight of the plague that ravaged the kingdom hung heavy in the air, an unspoken truth that reverberated within the depths of your being. Your mind brimmed with questions, thoughts swirling like a tempest, but caution held your tongue.
In that moment, as your master conversed with the emperor, your gaze met his fiery ruby eyes. It felt as if time stood still. The intensity in his gaze hinted at hidden depths, a soul burdened by the weight of responsibility and loss. There was something captivating about the way he held himself, an aura of strength and vulnerability intermingled.
“You may be wondering why i asked both of you to come here” the emperor said
“Me and my royal alchemist been working on an elixir to eliminate the plague once and for all, but we both lack the magic you sages poses to actually start producing it” the emperor looked at you “it should all work on theory, but without magic to start the process we are hand tied”
The emperor slowly started to descend the stairs, their eyes lock on you
“I know that i'm asking for a lot but please i implore that your apprentice stays in my kingdom as my royal mage and help me save my people”
Before you could speak your master put a hand on your back
“My apprentice will do their best”
With that your fate was seal, it was an honor to be able to work as a royal mage but being the royal mage of THE emperor was another level
Well this would be interesting…
————
Your magical abilities were no joke, the young emperor was more than impressed and with a few magic tricks and the alchemist abilities the plague was no longer around
But as the plague started to disappear something new was blossoming in the kingdom
The seed of love and the seeds of obsession…
The emperor started to notice small things about you, the way you said the magic word or how cute your focused face was when you studied your ancient book.
The emperor was walking towards your chambers with a fragrant rose in hand, his feelings were too much to bear and he needed to confess.
“Now that the plague is gone, what do you plan to do?” The emperor heard a voice coming from your chambers
“I don’t know…probably get back at my studies in the sage tower or something like that” the heart of the emperor sunk in realization.now that the plague was gone you had no other reason to stay in his kingdom.
“Maybe we could go together?, i mean only if you want too”
his despair quickly turned to anger as he recognized the voice of his alchemist responding in a flirtatious manner. The audacity of his own trusted alchemist making advances on you ignited a seething rage within the emperor. How dare they cross that line and attempt to pursue you?
He will not stand for it.
Quickly he went back to his own workshop, and there it was sitting on a small box…a virus
He never intendente to create it, it was an accident when he had tried to find a cure. Now it served a new propuse.
——
The relentless return of the plague had consumed your every waking moment, leaving you exhausted and desperate for a breakthrough.
A knock on your door shattered the silence, momentarily diverting your attention. Wearily, you called out, granting permission for the visitor to enter. The door creaked open, revealing a figure standing in the doorway.the emperor
“How are you doing my dear mage?”
“As good as one can do with this predicament your majesty”even though you two had grown close you still wouldn’t call him by his name
“I see” he looked at you with heart eyes, even though you looked exhausted “i brought you a cup of tea, i thought you needed a little rest”
“Thanks your majesty, but i shall not rest, not when the people of your kingdom are suffering”
Oh you will be an amazing ruler, so preoccupied for your future subjects. He can’t wait for when he finally has you.
“Since you send your royal alchemist away its been more difficult to advance”
A-yes that, to the rest of the kingdom the alchemist was send away to investigate new cures but he knew the true, he send them a way to keep them away from you
“Don’t worry my dear,as long as we had each other we will be okay”
How he wishes that you would look at him the same way he looked at you, but he needed to be cautious of his actions, after all he was powerless against you if you ever decided to reveal yourself against him. But it was okay, when he managed to have you whining under him he will be sure that you wouldn’t think about that kind of things
#yandere oc#male yandere#yandere oc x reader#yandere scenarios#yandere story#yanderecore#soft yandere#yandere x reader#yandere boy#yandere darling#female yandere#yandere#yandere imagines#yandere x male reader#yandere x oc#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#yandere emperor#yandere fantasy#yandere king#y/n
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One interesting thing about Caesar which I basically never see anybody talk about, right, is that his father was killed by raiders. I understand why nobody talks about it, because he's the world's biggest asshole, and the game itself only addresses it in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it line. But it's notable to me because it's basically the textbook example of a Freudian excuse, and in a lesser game likely would have been played up as such. His father gets killed by raiders in the NCR heartland, and fifty years later he's built an empire standing opposite the NCR that's noted for having basically eliminated raiding as a concept within its borders (part-and-parcel with the rest of the oppression.)
This is never directly presented as a contributing factor to Why He's Like That. It isn't presented as the fulfilment of some oath he swore on his murdered father's grave. In fact, it's almost the inverse- you only find out about this when he briefly mentions it as part of the extremely curated, self-aggrandizing backstory that he's giving you as part of an extended sales pitch. It's a curt mention- something that happened, an explanatory factor in how he and his mother wound up in the care of the Followers. A figure he has to account for in telling you his life story, because as an outsider you aren't going to fall for the "Son of Mars" routine. But not something terribly important besides that. Not something with a place in the mythology. Definitely not a loss or absence that's meaningfully impacted him in any way going forward, because the Mighty Caeser is of course totally above such petty concerns.
That digression aside, the point is this- it's comically easy to imagine the version of this story that leveraged these exact backstory details, unchanged, to paint a picture of Caesar as a brooding antihero, making the both-sidesing rampant in the fandom textual. There's probably some Conan-style grim-and-gritty sword-and-sorcery rise-of-a-king epics out there you could seamlessly slot him in as the protagonist of (the man himself reads Grognak comics.) There are the bones of an unironic self-satisfied ultramasculine power fantasy rattling around in there, the shrewd modern man who uses strength, guile and modernity to dominate his lessers, a hard-man-making-hard-choices, the whole process a masturbatory tract in favor of whatever ideology the infallible Great Man Protagonist chooses to embody. This is a kind of story, in science fiction, more often than not a grotesque one. And it's clearly the kind of story Caeser thinks he's the protagonist of. But Hank Morgan this fucker is not. And I'm intensely grateful that the narrative refuses to let him get away with pretending that he is. At the end of the day his army is wearing football gear.
#fallout#fallouot new vegas#fallout caesar#edward sallow#fnv#fonv#fallout: new vegas#thoughts#meta#caesars legion#fallout analysis
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Hello Hello!!📞 Hope ur having a wonderful time zone, author I just wanna say that I have read 2-3 of ur writings and I alr love it! Keep it up! ur writing's amazing.💗 I was wondering if I could request a Geto from jjk fic about him with a Curse! M reader, not a curse user, a literal curse like Mahito. But unlike Mahito the reader doesn't understand human emotions and from observing Geto (after he betrayed jujutsu high and became a cult leader) think's that its normal to kill and hate non-sorcerer's. Reader just sticks around in the shadow's and watches Geto and observer's his behavior until Geto notices and question's reader but after learning that, oh shit this curse is actually pretty powerful he might actually be useful, and promises reader to teach him about human's in exchange of him staying by Geto's side and helping him in his goal. Geto (as time passes) fall's in love with reader while reader get's this feeling that he can't understand when he's with Geto. sorry if this is a lot to ask and if u don't understand what i meant, u can just ignore me and my rambling😅
★ - s'okay lovely, descriptive reqs are jus as interestin' as non descriptive ones! <3
☆ - Cult Leader! Suguru Geto x Curse! M Reader!
♡ - typical Geto stuff! racist ta non-sorcerers, n tha word 'monkey' s'used one too many times (toji only said it once, by that way.)!
Geto remembers finding you— a curse who's stuck by his side ever since he deflected from the Jujutsu world— letched onto the side of a very popular road for couples to hang out and do whatever it was that couples do.
The very first time you two met, he remembers your soft voice, body radiating heaps of untapped cursed energy—untapped potential. Your curled up body, eyes void of emotion looking up at him with something that resembles confusion. "You can see me?"
Ever since then, you've been stuck to his side. While he doesn't think of you as useless, it has taken a bit too long for the potential— the strength he wants to see from you come out.
He's willing to wait, of course, he needs all the help he can get before initiating his plan against Jujutsu High, but there's only so much patience one man can have.
Especially, a man who's already running low on time.
You're accompanying Geto on a trip to a 'money-collecting monkey', as he likes to call them. They went back on their payments to the...cult (?) home (?) and he came to give them some 'personal counseling'—which was what he always said when blood was more than likely to be shed.
"Remember why we're here, [Name]," Geto says as he gets off his manta-ray curse, extending his hand to help you.
You stare at him, muttering a small thank you. "Help the monkey?"
Geto pushes his arms into his sleeves with a smile that makes your tummy churn in discomfort. "And?"
"Work on my cursed technique..." You mutter, kicking a pebble on the ground with an unseen pout working its way on your face. Ever since Geto quite literally found you on the side of a road, you've been his right-hand man ever since. Even if your understanding of cursed techniques and cursed energy is slim to none.
You've always understood in the back of your mind that he needs you for something. He had to—otherwise, he would've turned you into a ball and swallowed it on the spot. He always says how you aren't necessarily a bad curse, but he's never said you were good either.
You've never understood what he meant by that, but by the way Nanako grimaced whenever he said it, you assumed it wasn't a good thing. Without knowing, the pout grew into a frown and you found yourself huffing. Humans and their weird emotions always intrigued you ever since you were born, but you could never understand it.
Which is why you've been with Geto for so long. He's the first human who acknowledged your presence, the first human to act (kind, was it?) around you, so by process of elimination he was your first and only candidate to learn from.
When you two reached the house you overhear Geto whisper something about how the stench of monkeys would get everywhere.
'... Monkeys = bad people, they make Geto angry.' You think to yourself as you rummage through the pockets of the clothes Geto lent to you, bringing out a small spray bottle and handing it to the male beside you.
The action seems to take him by surprise. His smile falters and he stares at the item in your hand for a beat too long, grabbing it with a 'thank you' and spraying it on his clothes with a tight expression.
"Come here, you aren't getting monkey on my curses, or around the house." Geto waves you over, spraying a generous amount on your clothes and on your face. The spiciness takes you by surprise, spluttering as you try to get the taste off your mouth and the burn out of your eyes.
Surprisingly—shockingly even, you hear Geto laugh. It doesn't sound like the one he uses around the curse-collecting or money-collecting monkeys, it sounds like the one he uses around Nanako and Mimiko.
'Geto laughing = good. He's happy or excited.'
The laughing stops but he brings up a finger to wipe the tear that fell down your cheek during the sting. His hands are slightly calloused but soft to the touch. "Come on, let's get this over with. I'd rather stay away from monkeys on my weekends."
Nodding, you follow behind Geto as he walks up to the door, planting three brisk but firm knocks against the wood. You make sure to stay a step behind him, your body stiff and your eyes blank in case the monkey decides to try anything.
The door opens a slither a pair of green eyes widening the second they see Geto. "G-Geto-san! What do I owe the pleasure?"
"Good afternoon to you as well, Mr. Ashido. From my understanding, you're to fund my organization with three hundred thousand yen a month, am I correct?" Geto smiles, but it doesn't feel nice like when he smiles at you.
'Monkeys make Geto's smile weird. All monkeys are bad.'
The man nods shakily, his grip on the door faltering slightly. "Y-yes, but I cannot make up with the payments anymore because—"
"Correct me if I'm mistaken, Mr. Ashido, but you were the one who said three hundred thousand, am I correct?" Geto interrupts with a slight movement of his head, his signature bang moving with it.
"But Mr. Geto—"
Then, Geto's smile falls. His nose scrunches up in disgust and his eyes narrow. That means he's going to kill someone.
Before either of you knows what's happening, a surge of cursed energy flows into your hand, and the man's body squishes onto the ground until it pops as if the gravity on his body somehow quadrupled.
Geto's eyes widen, staring at the eyeball that rolled on the tip of his sandals. He turns to look at you, equal parts shocked and amused. "You did that, didn't you?"
"Monkeys are bad, and you looked like you were going to kill him anyway. I'm sorry for acting out of line G—"
"Don't you dare apologize for that." Geto interrupts with a sharp cut to his tone, making you stutter and trip over your words.
'Don't apologize, Geto gets angry. Angry = bad emotion.'
You nod hastily, but the nagging feeling to apologize stretches along your throat, itching to come out. Geto huffs, walking down the stairs and dragging you by the collar. "Seriously, the one time I take my eyes off you, you go change the actual laws of space on a guy?"
"Sor—" You stop yourself midway, remembering how apologies made Geto feel. You opt to stay silent and let him drag you wherever it is he wants to.
As you and Geto ride back home on the manta-ray curse, you see the smile on his face from earlier still hasn't left.
'Killing monkeys makes Geto give Nanako and Mimiko smile. Feels better than what he uses with sponsors.'
"Did I do good, Geto?" You ask absentmindedly, shifting closer to him until your chest is pressed against his back.
Something that resembles a laugh comes out of him, but it seems airy. Still genuine, but not as hard as when he sprayed you in your face. "Yes, [Name]. You did well."
A slight flush and embarrassment creeps up on you, causing you to plant your face on his shoulder. It didn't feel bad, just new. The same thing you feel whenever Geto falls asleep on your shoulder, or when he and you stay on his flying curse for hours at a time, doing nothing but basking in each other's presence.
It feels great, and you're glad to be feeling it with the only human you would put your life on the line for.
#writin' shit.#ANSWERED LETTERS — 013#★: anon!#jjk x male reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#male reader#x male reader#geto x male reader#suguru geto#geto suguru#suguru x male reader#suguru x reader#geto x reader
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KLEIN V.01 Theory - Where the Power button is.
This is just a quick little thing I threw together to get back into writing my theories and analysies so its a bit short.
I had written this before in an ask to the blog when my tumblr crashed so hhhhhhhh I wish it stayed because I don't like this as much as the OG.
I'm going based off the process of elimination here for the answer to this and it's all because of one post that really got me thinking.
It was asked if the power button was on Klein's center chest and the answer was no because it could accidentally be pressed during tight hugs.
That tells me that wherever it is, can't be somewhere that could accidentally press it in mundane activities.
Process of elimination/Where it couldn't be:
It can't be above heart because once again, it could be pressed during a tight hug of some sort. This could basically count for his whole front torso so we can mark that off.
It can't be on his back due to there's also different ways it could be accidentally pressed there. Laying down, getting back hugs from MC, leaning agaisnt a wall etc could all cause an accidental shut down.
Behind the neck or around neck area has already been crossed off as well, I sent an ask slapping the bar code on the back of his neck and Klein himself says that it wasn't there along with us seeing his neck and there was clearly no indication around there.
He even goes as far as to mentioning that they could look around for whatever button they wanted but the shutdown button was off limits.
The lower legs below the knees...yeah I can't see how that would work in anyways. Also it would be stupid if he got shut down because he got hit in the ankle with a scooter.
Just kinda outer body if you get me.
Places it COULD be:
I've thought about this for quite a while and even studied some of his art, but on terms of not being able to activate on access I say probably inner thigh perhaps but then that doesn't make much sense but at the same time it does. Ahshdhdbdb
Going around that same groin area I also thought of that area where its under your belly but also not actual crotch, that way in would be in an easily accessed spot but I couldn't easily be activated. And no I'm not going NSFW situations because the creator said the game is not 18+.
Now, back to where I said design wise I was thinking maybe somewhere on the arms, with his jacket having a slight glow to it and the fact it is a somewhat heavy one could stop accidental presses and whatnot.
[Glowing on the right (left?) Arm sleeve does look a bit suspicious to me but that could just be a second bar code.]
Well, that's all I have for now but than you for reading this descent into insanity because this is one of the few visual novels that have genuinely left me scared shitless, its an amazing VN.
Klein belongs to: @kleinv01
#yandere vn#yandere visual novel#yandere#male yandere#visual novel#yandere male#klein v.0.1#Yandere visual novel theory#Yeah baby I'm back#I feel like I should do more tags but he
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So I don't want to leap right into saying "please create fascist symbolism for me" but sure, feel free to give it a try if you'd like to!
There are definitely a lot of elements you could play around with. Like the Aberdeen city council logo recently had a "futuristic" redesign that feels quite dystopian to me whenever I see it...
Why are the leopards so skinny and oppressive looking now? Why is it purple? Where has the crown gone? To be honest you could redesign the city flag with the purple colour and simplified coat of arms elements and it'd end up looking the part...
Purple on grey/black with the simple blocky towers and the much more aggressive, jagged looking flory-counterflory pattern would give it a suitably unpleasant vibe imo
In this house we support Aberdeenshire Shortlisted Design B
🫡
Also I figured it out, when you see it moving Design E doesn't just look generically fascist but in particular it looks like something a monarchist Helghast faction would use in a Killzone game.
#fun with flags#am i beating the fascism allegations mutuals?#everything about fascist ideology is ugly and brutal and oppressive including its symbolism. it rejects nature and beauty#just as it rejects thought and freedom#everything is crushed down to the simplest most thoughtless forms of symbolic representation because complexity is its enemy#complexity leads to the consideration of alternatives and nuances which the ideology cannot allow#because the trade it offers to its followers is that if they're in the designated superior group they don't have to think any more#because the real world is chaotic and scary and it's so so much easier to not have to deal with it any more#by abdicating the responsibility to the superhuman Leader figure who will do it for them instead#and the constant insidious cognitive dissonance between the world as it is and the world as it Ought To Be leads easily to hatred#first and most deeply I would argue hatred of the self but inevitably because that's mentally damaging to experience#it's very easy for it to be directed instead onto external concepts and groups#for instance “the democratic process is holding us back so if we get rid of it things will be so much better”#or whatever designated outgroup or external threat is held up as the problem#i'm rambling#i guess my point is like this: a lot of socialist and social democratic movements use a rose as a symbol#it has many different meanings both politically and just generally. everyone has their own particular individual memories and associations#with what roses are and what roses can symbolise#there could never be a fascist rose. by that I mean that of course you could design a suitably simple aggressive angular rose logo#but it wouldn't be a Rose any more. its capacity to carry any deeper meaning or have any links to ideas like progress or growth or nature#would just be gone. and in its place you'd have a simple thought-eliminating shape designed to mean only one reprehensible thing#i've yapped a lot in these tags. feel free to ignore it
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Laundry Day
floyd and jade learn how not to do laundry.
cw: none
also on ao3
note: this is a vignette from a collection for a full-length fic, but there are no spoilers in it and I like it as its own thing.
Floyd tapped the window of the washing machine with a suspicious expression. “Are you sure we’re doing this right?”
Jade was reading the instructions on the bottle of detergent. “I am mostly sure,” he replied. “I measured everything carefully.”
“Hmmm.” Floyd looked and sounded skeptical. “Are you sure we put enough bleach?”
“Again, mostly sure,” Jade replied. He hummed and set the detergent down. “I suppose we shall find out in due time.”
“Ehh, I don’t know about this thing.” Floyd was treating the washer as if it had challenged him to a staring contest.
Jade understood his skepticism to a point. Much to his personal embarrassment, they had never actually done laundry since moving ashore. At school the staff had handled it. But it could not be terribly difficult if most humans managed it on a regular basis.
What he found particularly fascinating was the way stains worked. A stain was all but impossible underwater, but they interacted with different fabrics in unpredictable ways. Blood, for example, needed to be rinsed in cold water immediately if there were any hope of eliminating it. Dirt and mud were more easily dislodged, while any sort of oil-based substance was much more difficult. He was already devising all kinds of experiments that would answer his questions.
“It will never dry anything if you continue opening the door,” Jade said when Floyd checked the contents of the dryer for the tenth time in almost as many minutes.
“It’s taking so looooong.” Floyd threw himself down on the floor with his limbs splayed out like a starfish. “I demand entertainment.”
“I have not connected the TV and such yet,” Jade answered, which elicited another groan of potentially fatal boredom from his twin. “Check the games cupboard.”
That certainly perked him up. Floyd got to his feet and went to rummage through their collection. He returned with Battleship and a glowing grin.
Jade cleared a space on the floor. Moving was an exhausting process, and he was beginning to think furniture was more trouble than it was worth. They set up the game, each of them trying - and failing - to fold their excessively long legs into a comfortable seating position. Floyd gave up and stretched out on his stomach, propped up on his elbows. Jade felt awkward doing the same and settled for keeping his legs off to the side and leaning on one hip.
“E5.”
“Miss.”
Jade placed a white peg on his side.
“Hmm…C4.”
Jade blinked. “Hit,” he replied and added the red peg to the bow of his destroyer. His gaze flicked upward to meet his brother’s with a slight edge.
Floyd giggled. “It’s your favorite stable plastic explosive.”
Jade sighed. “Am I so transparent?”
“Yes. C5.”
Another hit. Jade decided he really must learn to be more surreptitious about his preferences.
Floyd had decimated Jade’s fleet and was about to deal the final blow when there was a knock at the door. Jade went to answer it, grateful for the opportunity to stretch his legs.
“Hello, Azul.”
Azul strode in. “Greetings.” He scanned the mess of the apartment with barely-concealed dismay. “How are things going?”
“We’re playing Battleship!” Floyd cried from his place on the floor. Then the dryer alarm sounded to announce that it was finished, so he rolled to his feet and went to open it. He removed an armload of clothes and carried them into the bedroom. There was a soft whoosh as he tossed everything on the mattress. Then he returned to move the next load from the washer to the dryer. “Play with us!”
Azul shut his eyes for an extra-long blink and willed himself not to react. “You should fold or hang up clothing immediately after removing it from the dryer,” he said flatly. “Otherwise it will be wrinkled.”
“Laterrrr,” Floyd whined.
“And Battleship is only a two-player game,” Azul continued as he removed his shoes to leave them by the door.
“Uhh, yeah, maybe if you don’t have six copies of it.” Floyd rolled his eyes and went to collect the other five.
Azul frowned at Jade. “Why?”
Jade shrugged. “Object permanence.”
Floyd cleared out their current game and swiftly assembled the playing field so that each of them had two boards. He took his spot on the floor again and gazed up at the others eagerly. “Come onnn.”
Jade gave a tiny, helpless shake of his head and went to join him. Azul followed with tangible reluctance.
“I offered to help you organize things,” he said tartly. “I have a schedule, you know.”
“Should’ve written a contract,” Floyd giggled. “Now you have no choice but to have fun.”
Azul resigned himself to it. He had an easier time sitting with his legs crossed on the floor than Jade, who kept changing his position every few minutes in a futile attempt at comfort.
Jade looked around at the state of their new apartment while Floyd explained his ludicrously complicated house rules for Mega Battleship. It seemed impossible for them to own so many things. When he last spoke to their mother, she assured him that once they had everything put away, it would ease his anxieties. He did not like for things to be out of place. It would be too easy for someone to cover their tracks if they had broken in, if they were lying in wait for him-
Jade shook the thought out of his head with a twitch and reached his arm across to rub his other shoulder. It did not truly hurt anymore, but the thought continued to pester him.
“H10,” said Azul.
“Miss,” said Jade, glad that he had managed to get his thoughts back on track before either of them noticed. “D9.”
“Miss!” Floyd grinned. “J8.”
Jade sighed. “Hit. You have eliminated my submarine.”
“Knew it!”
“I mean this in the most polite way possible,” said Azul, “but how the hell are you so good at this game?”
Floyd shrugged. “I’m not. You two are just so obvious.”
They played through two rounds of it, then took a break to do some actual work. Azul and Jade set to patiently organizing things, putting things away, and hanging up the clothes Floyd had so eloquently discarded on the mattress. It was sitting directly on the floor, and Jade was seriously considering leaving it there, even though Floyd had threatened to build a tent over it and pretend they were camping every night.
“When will your furniture arrive?” Azul asked after a while.
Jade was spending a little too much time flattening the collars and lapels of every shirt and coat in the closet. “We have not purchased any yet,” he said. “I have not found anything to my liking.”
“Hmm,” Azul said. “And Floyd?”
“He finds everything to his liking.” Jade imagined that a room designed by Floyd with an unlimited budget would look patently ridiculous. In the same trip to a furniture store, Floyd had decided he wanted a bean bag chair, an inflatable couch, and a hot tub that would have cost several thousand dollars. (“In the bedroom?” “Uh, duh? Where else?”)
Jade was surprised to sense Azul coming suddenly toward him, leaving enough space for his comfort, save a hand reaching out to rest on his shoulder. He turned away from his anxious fingers, making no effort to hide his distress. There was no point in trying to conceal anything around Azul; his senses were as finely tuned as the eels’, and that aside, Jade trusted him.
“It’s alright,” Azul said simply. “I ensured those responsible were dealt with.” His eyes gleamed, and his jaw was firmly set. “Comprehensively.”
“Of course.” Jade let his gaze drop to the floor of the closet, where Floyd’s shoe collection was spilling over onto his side. “I know that, logically, the odds are quite low that it would happen again.”
Azul took hold of the hand that was once again rubbing his shoulder. Jade had not even realized he was doing it again. “It is also logical to feel lingering effects, Jade.”
Jade closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath that turned into a sigh.
“Food’s here,” Floyd yelled from the living room.
Jade hung up one more shirt before following Azul to the kitchen. They had little choice but to eat at the counter, but Floyd merrily unpacked the boxes of sushi and seafood and spread them out buffet-style. He pushed the box of sashimi in Jade’s direction and hoarded the spicy tuna rolls for himself. Azul and Jade picked at various items with their chopsticks since apparently they had not purchased any plates yet, either.
Floyd opened the next box and froze. “Uhh, who ordered this?”
Azul and Jade peeked at the contents. “Ah, that’s mine,” said Azul.
Floyd and Jade just stared at him as he separated a piece of grilled and glazed eel meat from the others and lifted it to his mouth. He seemed to enjoy it a little too much.
“What?” he asked with feigned innocence. “It’s good.”
Floyd made sure to stare at Azul with his most unhinged expression as he sucked down an entire octopus arm between the points of his teeth like a second tongue. “Serves you right,” Floyd said when Azul’s mouth twitched. “That could’ve been my grandmother. At least your fricken arms grow back.” Floyd paused, as if silently wondering whether this would still work in Azul’s human form.
“Don’t get any bright ideas,” Azul said, pointing the chopsticks at him.
The dryer alarm went off again. Floyd all but leapt up to go open it. When Jade looked at him curiously, Floyd just grinned. “It’s warm and soft,” he explained. When he opened the door, several strips of what looked like paper fluttered out of it with a puff of dryer lint. “Whoops.”
Azul thought nothing of it at first, but his attention snagged on something. They couldn’t have been receipts. Receipts that went through a wash-and-dry cycle turned into little annoying balls of wadded-up paper that shredded all over the place. “Floyd,” he said with intensifying alarm, “what is that?”
“Uh, my favorite blankie and pillowcases. Also the money.”
Azul all but choked. “Excuse me?”
Floyd shrugged. “I washed it. No big deal. You’re welcome.”
Azul tripped over his own feet as he staggered to the dryer. He snatched up the pieces of material and examined them with growing horror. “Floyd,” he said again, “what did you do?”
Now it was Floyd’s turn to look at him like he was crazy. “Did you forget already? Just did what you asked.”
The bleached, worthless bills slipped from Azul’s quavering hands.
“Are you alright, Azul?” Jade asked from a safe distance.
Floyd, ignoring the unraveling of Azul’s temperament, removed the rest of the bundle from the dryer and walked it to the bedroom, leaving a trail of shattered dreams fluttering to the floor behind him. “I don’t know what you’re upset about,” he said indignantly. “You’re the one who said to launder the money.”
Jade was certain Azul was about to faint, if he did not explode first. His eyes bulged behind his glasses, and his voice came out in a soft, raspy, desperate scrape against his throat. “That is not what I meant.”
#twst#twisted wonderland#jade leech#azul ashengrotto#floyd leech#twst fanfiction#twst fic#rexii writes twst#rexii writes
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I didn't know rationalism of the online rationalists was not the same as the one that has the Wikipedia article. When I first saw the term on Tumblr I went to that article and skimmed it and decided I don't really get what those bloggers' perspectives are. After your post I now have even less knowledge than I did before.
The following is an oversimplification, so for those who have quibbles with the history here, well, forgive me.
Online rationalism was founded by two guys named Eliezer Yudkowsky and Robin Hanson on the blog LessWrong. Of these two figures Yudkowsky has been much more influential. The ideology that Yudkowsky promoted is roughly as follows:
humans are, relatively soon, likely to develop a superintelligent AI which has the capacity to self-improve by rewriting its own code. This will cause the AI's intelligence to rapidly explode beyond anything we can imagine, a process which rationalists onomatopoetically call "FOOM".
This superintelligent AI, if it could be harnessed and controlled, could cure death, and possibly revive all already-dead humans in a simulated world, leading to a technological utopia in which humans have merged with machines; this is called "the singularity" (the idea of the singularity predates the rationalists, and is a broader transhumanist trope).
However, it is almost certain that a superintelligent AI could not be harnessed and controlled; in fact, if such an AI was created, there is a very high probability that it would end the world (in rationalist jargon this is called an "x-risk"), perhaps usurping all of the accessible matter and energy on earth, then in the solar system, then in the galaxy and beyond in pursuit of its inscrutable goals. Thus, humans have a responsibility to make sure we never create such a superintelligent AI (in a recent op-ed in Time, Yudkowsky went so far as to say that the US should use drone strikes to destroy any datacenter found to be training a large AI model).
The reason that people do not recognize the truths above is because people are too irrational to see them. Therefore, people need to be taught to be more rational, by Yudkowsky via the blog LessWrong. The tenets of being more rational are laid out largely in a series of blog posts known as "The Sequences", later published as a book. The main take-aways are: (1) use Bayes' Theorem all the time to estimate the probability of things, and (2) to eliminate one's various cognitive biases, as outlined in The Sequences.
LessWrong attracted a lot of people who did not agree with Yudkowsky about AI, but who liked the Bayes' Theorem stuff and the commentary on cognitive biases. There is a joke that "anyone who has ever disagreed with Yudkowsky is a rationalist". The people who settled on LessWrong were largely drawn from the milieu of Bay Area tech workers, economics blog enthusiasts, and sci-fi fans. They would come to be known as LessWrongers, rationalists, or aspiring rationals. From this group, two major subgroups worth mentioning were spawned:
First is the Effective Altruists. Effective Altruism, to my knowledge, isn't a strictly LessWronger phenomenon, and has also been influenced majorly by philosophers like Peter Singer. However, they have been so intertwined with LessWrongers throughout their history that I think they are worth mentioning as essentially an offshoot of rationalism.
Effective Altruists believe that, in order to do the most good in the world, one should use one's money in a way that does the maximum amount of good per dollar. Rather than e.g. donating to charities willy-nilly based on what feels important, one should use quantitative methods to estimate how much impact each dollar is making, and donate in a way which maximizes that. The Effective Altruists are split along one main ideological line: neartermism vs. longtermism. The neartermists are basically focused on what we would traditionally think of as charitable activities: fighting disease, giving people clean water, that kind of stuff. I think neartermist Effective Altruism is pretty sensible, and I think they've done a lot of good work evaluating charities and so on. GiveWill is an essentially neartermist Effective Altruist organization, and I think their activities are very worth supporting.
The longtermists, on the other hand, are focused on "the long-term interests of humanity". They are, well, in my opinion, basically a bunch of people trying to turn their sci-fi fantasies into a reality. They are often very worried about AI x-risk, like Yudkowsky, and they're often pro-singularity, and sometimes pro-eugenics, and a bunch of other stuff. Remember Sam Bankman-Fried, the guy who committed the largest act of financial fraud in human history? Well, he was an Effective Altruist with some longertermist sympathies. Some of the money that he stole he actually gave to worthwhile charities, but some of it he used on stupid longtermist sci-fi fantasy shit. His girlfriend Caroline Ellison, who helped him do a bunch of that fraud, was a member of rationalist tumblr. Some of my mutuals were mutuals with her.
The other major group spawned out of LessWrong were the Neoreactionaries, or NRx. These guys, too, weren't a purely LessWronger phenomenon; they were also majorly influenced by people such as the philosopher Nick Land (former student of Baudrillard, who took a far-right turn in the 2000s and started advocating for "hyper-racism") and blogger Curtis Yarvin a.k.a. "Mencius Moldbug". These guys are a rag-tag group of authoritarians, eugenicists, and racists, who are interested in rationality insofar as they view it as a path that leads to their desired sci-fi-inflected far-right future.
Oh, right, last but not least I should define the term "rat-adj". It means "rationalist-adjacent". Uh. So, I was never a LessWronger, and as I think my description makes clear, I find like 90% of this rationalist stuff either goofy or actively harmful. But I have, somehow, ended up basically acquainted with a bunch of people formerly or presently part of the LessWrong milieu, and in light of this I am what one calls "rationalist-adjacent". I talk to various rationalist bloggers somewhat often. And most of them are much more normal than all this would suggest, part of the rationalist discursive sphere but not really believers in the imminent AI apocalypse. Uh. So, there you go.
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How do people see you vs how you see yourself
This pick a card reading explores how you see yourself vs how others view you. I will also be giving guided advice from the cards on how to be your most authentic self, pls enjoy. To tip my cashapp is sarahx2x, my paypal is teahuk, for personal readings check my pinned post 《♡》
Pile one
How you see yourself -
You struggle with identity and knowing who you are, so when it comes to how you percieve yourself you're a bit confused and even anxious. You see yourself as a mystery, that there's missing parts of you that you can't access. You feel like you're an incomplete puzzle, but pile one you need to know that you're whole as you are. Your identity is being subtly revealed to you overtime and you're slowly learning who you are. Fear and illusion has been gatekeeping key aspects of who you are making you feel incomplete and scared to be yourself, and you're in the process of confronting those fears so that you can see who you truly are. Other people's projections may be in thr mix here as well and confusing you even more. This is a time to tune out from what others have to say about who you are. You may feel confused and even afraid to look in the mirror, you may feel dissociated from the reflection you see, but overtime you're gonna come to love yourself. those fears and illusions you've had about yourself are gonna be the things you embrace wholeheartedly. You're not broken or bad, your heart is pure and you're just finding your way through the darkness, I can't wait for you to meet yourself.
How others see you-
You may not realize it, but others see that you're bondaged to a sense of self that isn't who you really are. They see you as a victim of your own fears and illusions, or even a victim of the narrow mindsets of other people. They feel you are trapped under pressure or an invisible prison that keeps you from expressing who you are. I feel that these people love you, they want you to see who you really are and embrace your uniqueness. They earnestly hate to see you be fully controlled like a puppet to whatever it is that keeps you from being yourself. They want to help you but sometimes don't know how. They know deep down that this is an internal journey that you have to complete and that it's ultimately none of their buisness to tell you who you are. They do care about you though, and can't wait to support you in your journey.
How you can embrace your authenticity-
You embrace your authenticity by embracing your passion. Your passion is gonna strike you like lightening and give you a jolt of courage, inspiration and a little bit of insanity. It's gonna expose and eliminate any fear your currently have. You're letting illusions and false perceptions hold you back from your raw, creative power. Through embracing what lights your heart up, you will overcome previous blockages. You will find yourself in the heat of what you earnestly enjoy in life, let passion reveal itself to you overtime especially if you don't know what it is that you love. You will know, and when you know you will be released from the self imposed illusions of identity.
Pile two
How you see yourself-
You like to demonize yourself don't you! But i think its because others have. You have demonized yourself to the point that have become the villain in your own mind, and this is partly because other people have done this to you, either way you are ciritcal and quite cruel to yourself. You may feel like you've taken on the identity of the villain, you see yourself as the antagonist and that there's nothing you can do to redefine your reputation. The way other people react to you and treat you gives you the impression that you're some kind of adversary, but in reality you're not coddling people with fake kindness.
How others see you-
Others see you as a rival in some sense. I'm seeing slot of people compare themselves to you alot, there's something about you that inspires others to step up their game. But some may be in a unrequited conflict with you as well. You make people feel as if they're enough because there's something about you that others admire but feel is missing in themselves. You have qualities and characteristics others want to have but don't. They see you as a rival, they see you as someone who is uniquely set apart from the rest.
How you can embrace your most authentic self-
Difficult transitions are trials that feel unbearable in the moment but serve us longterm. Embrace change. Be open to receiving help and support from the universe and from your spirit guides. You're crossing passages and encountering new mindsets and this in turn challenges you to change the way you think, so be progressive. Don't hold onto old thought patterns. You don't have to cling to old ways of thinking. Sit down right now and make a list of beliefs you have about yourself and others that you feel is old and tired. Be honest and thoughtful. Then rip the paper and mentally commit to leaving those ideas behind. Old beliefs weigh us down, we don't need to carry that old luggage with us into new cycles. As you let old ideas fall away you will encounter ideas and beliefs that feel more authentic to who you are.
Pile three
How you see yourself
Like pile two, you are very hard on yourselves. You have demonized yourself but in a different way than pile two- you have attached yourself to limiting beliefs and ideas that hold you back from utlizing your full potential. You've identified yourself with fears, insecurity and victim hood. You see yourself as powerless and under the tutelage of situations people or circumstances. You've essentially given power to everything but yourself.
How others see you
It's funny because others see all your potiental. They see all your talents, skills, and willpower and they can even envision you directing that will in the right places in their mind. But you don't. You let other people and situations decide who you are and what you're gonna do. People earnestly see you with all your potential, and wish you saw the same in yourself. I'm seeing people be like "if I could do that I would be set for life" meaning people see something in you that they wish they had, because if they had it they think they would know what to do with that talent. They see you as someone with so much willpower and natural skill, what's stopping you from seeing these qualities in yourself? What resources aren't you using? For some of you, others see you as someone with the perfect resources to make shit happen. Whether you have the talent, the money, the familial support or even the beauty. You're sitting here thinking that you're not able to be who you want to be and achieve your desires but others are wishing they had what you had. Appreciate your resources no matter how thay may manifest in your life, and have an idea of how to use them.
How to embrace your authentic self-
Remember who you used to be and honor that person. Celebrate how far you've come. You've achieved alot whether you regonize it or not. Make a list of everything you've achieved in the past few years, big or small. Then purposely do something nice for yourself. You don't realize how far you've come, you really don't. Sometimes to see our full potential we have to see how far we've made it. And sometimes spirit wants us to celebrate our wins (big or small) so that we can fully appreciate the next chapter we're gonna experience. Spirit wants you to see everything you've accomplished despite whatever circumstances you've faced in the past, because you're currently allowing a current circumstance direct the path you're on. Spirit just wants you to see all of your accomplishments in the context of the present moment because your past is your inspiration. You've come along way.
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I think this is a week or two late, but there was some fantastic discussion happening on TTRPG Tumblr earlier this month about incentive systems in rpgs - @thydungeongal, @imsobadatnicknames2, and @cavegirlpoems all have good posts that you should read. I’m here though to talk about incentive systems in games more generally. I’m seeing a lot of confusion in the notes of those posts about why they’re used in the first place (and also because I’m trying to articulate my own thoughts about them! I’m still a baby designer trying to figure out how all this works).
So real quick, let’s all get on the same page. Games are a voluntary limitation of agency, right? While playing the game, participants agree that certain arbitrary actions are off limits, while other actions are desirable. Which actions are off limits and which are desirable then create a certain experience. Go Fish and Texas Hold ‘em play fundamentally differently, and create a different emotional experience in their players, despite literally using the same components. The only difference is which actions are off limits, and which are desirable. We then play those games because the emotional space that play creates is... well fun. The whole point of rules in games is to put players in a specific emotional space.
This same idea can then be applied to more complex or thematic games. For example classic board game Clue loosely simulates the experience of being an old school mystery novel detective. It drip feeds you clues, and because the first player to correctly guess whodunit wins, players are encouraged to make their guess before they’ve mathematically “proven” the solution. Winning at Clue, then, requires some deductive reasoning skills, and when everything’s working it makes you feel like the hero in an Agatha Christie novel. That feeling is the goal of Clue’s design.
Okay, sweet, so we all agree that systems when voluntarily engaged with can create certain emotional states in the player - and those systems can be deliberately designed to invoke specific fantasies (this is what folks mean when they say “game design is real” btw!). Now I want to take a look at incentive systems specifically. So far the games I’ve used as examples all have the same, very simple incentive system: do a specific Thing and you win. Even with such a simple system, you can get a lot of mileage. Again, to win at Clue you have to name the murderer before anyone else. That “before anyone else” bit is key here. It encourages the player to be risky - to try and deduce what the other players know. That way they can make a call before anyone else has the chance to gather enough clues to solve the puzzle through process of elimination. That single incentive system contains most of the game’s fantasy. Change how you win a bit, and the game no longer fulfills its fantasy. If multiple players could win, you would no longer have incentive to make a call before you had literally all the information and therefore no deduction would be necessary.
Now obviously “winning” doesn’t have to be the only incentive, especially as your game gets more complex. Let's take a step out of the tabletop realm for a sec (there are other board games I could use here, but all that’s coming to mind are fucking Nerd Games™ and I want to keep my examples accessible) and take a look at the most recent Legend of Zelda games. Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom have incentive systems a lot closer to your typical TTRPG than something like Clue does. Sure, there’s the main quest to win the game (kill Matthew Mercer), but that’s really difficult to do at the start. And also like... not really the fun part of those games. The fun part is exploring Hyrule. And whether you realized it or not, the Zelda designers bribed you into engaging with the fun part of their game.
Imagine for a second if Breath of the Wild was missing its Shrines, Korok Seeds and sidequests. Literally the exact same game, same level geometry, same backstory, same enemy placement, just no rewards out in the wild. It would kind of suck yeah? You’d get tired of exploring right away, and just play it like an action game. Even if you added back in the parts of the game most of us consider fun (Shrines, Korok puzzles, actual content to find out in the wild) but withheld the rewards which make Link stronger (loot, Spirit Orbs, Korok seeds, etc), only completionists would bother doing any of that. The rewards are what lured us into the fun part of the game - without the rewards the game would have been less fun. Not only that, but it would have lost its core fantasy. It would have stopped being a game about exploring the wild, and turned into a game about killing an evil pig. All you had to change was the incentive system.
I think you're seeing how this applies to TTRPGs now. The things which make a player character stronger (that is to say, gives them more agency over the gameworld) are the things your players will gun for. A smart designer is going to make sure their incentive system rewards play which guides players to the game’s core fantasy. If your game is about being a badass monster hunter, XP for killing monsters is a fine reward structure. If the game is about making your and your friend’s OCs kiss, then you need a reward structure that incentivizes OC smooching.
Now some of you are protesting “but my friend’s OC and my OC smooch in D&D sometimes! What gives Lucy?” What you’re doing there is called playing pretend (a fantastic pastime, this is not meant as a knock on playing pretend. I do it all the time actually), but you shouldn’t give D&D or its designers credit for that. YOU AND YOUR FRIEND are responsible for that cool story - not WotC. Take credit for the cool shit you and your friends make, don’t give it to some corporation.
Idfk how to end this uhhhh.... Game design is really cool, and it can incentivize real neat stories when properly utilized. If you’re ignoring your game’s designed reward structure, then the cool stories that come out of it are a result of you and your friends being good at telling stories (seriously go give your GM a big ol’ hug if you haven’t already), not the game. If you are the GM and regularly ignore your game’s incentive systems, there are probably other games which better reward the style of play you want. Love yourself more than you love D&D and life is good. Or whatever
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How does one argue against science denialism without falling back on what basically amounts to positivism?
when i criticize positivism im mostly coming from the critical theory position on positivism as a tendency in the sciences that, under capitalism, erases the dynamic, dialectical, mediated nature of things to just pure facts or data, essentially “reduces the world to be its own measure” as they say in dialectic of enlightenment. basically a type of vulgar focus on empiricism that claims to be completely objective and merely reflect the facts of reality, ignoring how our scientific knowledge is itself mediated by social relations, norms, historical conditions and ideology. so its not a rejection of science, and not a rejection of reason or the ethos of enlightenment outright, but a criticism of a negative development in the dialectic of scientific knowledge. and particularly a development that is frequently used by people to justify the status quo, naturalize social hierarchy, and claim all of this on a purely scientific factual basis. sorry to quote adorno but i think this sums up the tendency im mostly criticizing when i talk about positivism:
its resignation to what is so and not otherwise, in its elimination of the category of potentiality, and in its hatred of all thought that takes the possible seriously in its opposition to the actual.
so anyways since this is kind of the basis of my critique, i think its totally possibly to oppose science denialism and other irrationalist reactionary ideologies. like we can still say that the scientific knowledge many people have acquired and applied throughout the years (on climate change, vaccines, infrastructure, whatever) is legitimate and objectively proven while still recognizing that what we we refer to as the sciences is still much more ambiguous and socially mediated, especially in certain fields, than its most adamant supporters imagine. i think, at least, when ive read scientific literature, particular on neuroscience and stuff like that, scientists are generally very aware that scientific inquiry is a difficult thing and like different factors can change the results of studies drastically, issues with data collection, etc just that many things like this complicate acquiring scientific knowledge. whereas laypeople often seem to often see the truncated results of studies and polls as god given information. im sure we’ve all seen this happen on tumblr lol. i think the disconnect between how science is understood popularly vs how scientific research actually is contributes to an irrational distrust of science. if more people were actually aware of maybe the real processes of scientific research maybe there would be less skepticism when reality doesnt match up with vulgar positivist conception of science
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