#i think its a normal reaction
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My reaction to this kinda says something about me. Maybe I should try to socialize in real life more.
#i should#i definitely should#everything is just harder when youre wildly immature compared to the average person#and tends to be easier online#this sounds like i dont have friends#I HAVE FRIENDS#i just do not talk to them nearly enough#god.#i dont want to leave tunblr tho. not at all#i like the people ive met on here so much#like.#i dont wanna be sappy but#do yall know how genuinely happier ive been because a few people have been nice to me on here lately??#i do not want to overshare but like. i am not always the happiest person. i have plenty of issues#and idk.. a lot of yall made some shitty days seem pretty good#so its not like.#i dont think its actually sad at all that i care about this so much#i think its a normal reaction#because if i really cant ever fully come back#i will probably feel worse again#i dlnt want to speak that into existence. like i said i have friends irl but#yknow. im not going to feel better when i dont have the thing made me so happy sometimes#sorry. i just. needed to ramble.#anyways the fact i did not break my gay ass sobriety streak because of this is INSANE because i felt terrible#still dont feel great obvi#but im not crying!!
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i will say this: the signal i see being most ignored in small dogs thats heeded in large dogs is "don't touch me."
#and there is more to it but thats a big one#i used to think it came down to breeding and to an extent i still do#because a lot of fear and defensive reactions (which i believe to be at least somewhat genetic)#that are normalized in small dogs would be absolutely intolerable in large ones#but ultimately#i think its at least more constructive in a learning and traning sense#to think of communication as a skill
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the case of the serial killer
3476 words (that was not suppose to happen lol - please send help)
ao3
Dick sat in front of his desk, eyes glazing over the same two lines for the nth time. He let out a tired sigh, and massaged his temples as he leaned back in his chair.
The Bludhaven Police Department had been investigating the recent serial killings for the past month and a half, with Dick heading the case. Not that it was anything too out of left feild for Dick, he handled plenty of cases like this during his long run as Robin and even in his more recent years as Nightwing. Finding the clues, and piecing together the perfect picture came second nature to him at this point.
The issue Dick was dealing with right now in fact had nothing to do with the case, instead it was something -or someone else. That someone, Danny No-Last-Name-For-You-Officer.
The first time Dick had run into him he was doing his rounds when he caught some kids getting into a fight. Naturally he stopped in and the kids that had been trying to start a fight ran away at the sight of his uniform and car. Danny had been a little roughed up by then, but mostly unharmed.
“Are you okay, kid?” Dick asked, kneeling to meet the kid eye-to-eye.
Danny had looked at him with a defiance he wasn’t used to seeing in someone that wasn’t a cape, “I didn’t do anything.” He said instead of responding, pulling himself up to his feet.
“Okay,” Dick nodded calmly, not wanting to frighten the kid. He stood up slowly, with his hands in view, “Are you hurt? I could patch you up, real quick, make sure nothing gets infected.” Danny wore ratty clothes, they had been nice once upon a time, but their time had long passed.
Danny eyed him suspiciously, “No, I’m fine.” He said more calmly now. Roughly around the age of 15 to 17. Older than Damian, but younger than Tim.
Taking his chance, “You got a name kid?”
“Danny.”
“No last name?” Dick asked with a knowing smirk, letting himself appear more playful.
“Not for you.” Danny gave him a mischievous smirk. Dick could tell the kid could clean up nice, but circumstances seemed unfortunate.
Dick laughed at his response, to let him know that he wasn’t in any hot water. Danny watched him, waiting for his next move. “You hungry, Danny?” Dick asked casually, trying not to stare at the way the hoodie he was wearing sagged on his shoulders.
“I’m a growing boy, I’m always hungry.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes. Dick laughed again, more genuine this time.
“Alright, my treat. Let’s go.” Dick said, gesturing as he led the boy to his car.
“What?” He asked, surprised, Dick turned around to look at him when he didn’t follow. “Why?”
“You’re a growing boy.” Dick echoed. Danny snorted, but followed after him nonetheless. Dick put on the GPS on his phone, even though he knew the way as Danny sat in the passenger seat.
They spent the next hour together, falling into a steady rhythm of conversation and joking. After their first meeting, Danny and Dick ran into each other more. The grocery store, playground, library, school, so on. For the first 2 weeks it had been coincidental, but slowly Dick found himself looking forward to their random meetings, happy to see that the kid was doing alright.
That had been until the first murder had happened.
It had been raining, colder than the weather usually was around this time of year, the streets mostly empty. Dick had been doing his usual rounds on patrol, wondering how Danny was doing like he always did.
The world has a strange way of giving you what you want.
As Dick turned around the corner, he slammed his brakes hard at the figure who had been standing in the middle of the road. Dick got out of his car, leaving it on the side of the road when the person didn’t move. As he got closer dread filled Dick’s gutt as he made out the figure to be a cold, drenched Danny clenching his chest.
“Danny!” Dick called, rushing over to the boy. As Dick got closer he noticed the boy looked pale and his lips were turning blue.
“Dick.” Danny said hollowly, his voice barely audible over the loud rain. Danny turned to look at him with a shaken and horrified expression.
Dick held his shoulder firmly, leading him to the car and out of the rain. Danny allowed it without protest, which only caused Dick to worry more. “What happened?” He asked once the boy had huddled himself under the blanket Dick kept in his car (he had gotten it after the second time he met Danny during patrol, the boy always seemed cold).
Danny turned to him, “He’s dead.” He answered morbidly.
“Who?” Dick asked concerned, he didn’t think the boy had a father or brother present, at least not one that he had mentioned.
“I dunno. Just some guy.” No one he knew then.
“Danny, buddy. Can you explain what you saw.” Dick tried again.
Danny took a shaky breath, “I was just heading home, y’know, from the library. And I heard a scream, so I went to go check it out. And it was a guy just laying there in a pool of blood.” Danny looked down at his own hands, his fingers stained in red.
“Can you tell me where?”
“Around the corner, across from Susan’s.” Danny said quietly. He must have been really shaken up seeing it, it wasn’t exactly normal to see a bloodied body during your regularly scheduled activities.
Dick could go there later as Nightwing to investigate, but right now he had bigger things to deal with. “Alright, put your seatbelt on.” Dick said, putting the car in drive. Danny, not fully there, quietly did as Dick asked. At the next redlight, Dick called the Chief and let her know about the potential murder case and that he would be calling off for the night. He’d probably have to bring Danny in for his testimony, but that was later.
As the light turned green Dick looked over at his passenger again to find Danny already fast asleep, heater blaring in his face. Dick smiled softly at the sight as he drove them to his apartment.
After Dick parked his car he hesitated for a moment before deciding to wake Danny up so he could shower and maybe eat something. He could borrow some of Tim’s clothes.
“Hm.” Danny blinked barely at Dick, “We're are we?” He asked looking around at the parking garage.
“My place. C’mon lets get you cleaned up.” Dick unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car.
Danny blinked at him in surprise, “What? Why are we at your place?”
“Well considering I don’t know where you live, I had to take you somewhere.” Dick shrugged casually, letting the kid think Dick didn’t know he was homeless was better than him thinking Dick was pitying him. Danny would not appreciate pity.
Danny didn’t retort, a true sign of how weary he was.
Dick made a quick dinner. You can’t go wrong with pasta and air fried chicken. While the food finished cooking Dick busied himself in random mundane activities, not wantong Danny to find him looking over a case when he got out of the shower. Dick pulled out an old cookbook he’d gotten for his highschool graduation, a gag gift from Wally, when something between the pages fell out.
Picking it up Dick saw an old photo, one of him standing between his parents proudly after one of their performances. Sometimes Dick would feel a deep sadness when he looked at pictures of his parents and realized he had forgotten their faces, their mannerisms and their laughs. But this time, when Dick looked at the picture and saw his dad smiling at the camera next to his mom, he remembered Danny. It was strange how Danny had the same cowlick as his mom, same nose arch as his dad, a jawline that looked like his almost, before his larger muscle definition came into play. At the time that line of thought had been disturbed by Danny walking back into the living room and stubbing his tie on the foot of Dick’s sofa.
After that Dick had made sure they had each other’s numbers. He called Danny anytime the weather was bad, or it was cold, or there was too much food at his house or whatever random reason he could come up with.��
After about a week of Dick calling Danny over, Danny came over on his own one night.
Dick was dressed in his Nightwing suit about to head out for the night when he heard the front door rattling. Realizing someone was trying to break into his apartment and knowing that it wasn’t his siblings (they would’ve used the window) Dick quickly threw his domino under his blanket and threw on the first pair of sweats he could find, just in time for the door to open. Slipping a small pocket knife into his hands, Dick positioned himself to get a good view of the living room where the trespasser still was.
Getting ready to get the jump on the trespasser Dick happened to get a good look at and noticed the familiar mop of black hair, and overfilled school bag by the door. Coming into view, letting his hands relax by his side, “Danny?” he breathed confused and relieved.
“‘Sup.” He nodded casually before noticing Dick’s appearance. “Your pants are backwards.” He commented candidly. Dick could feel himself flush in embarrassment, but that seemed to send the wrong impression on Danny, The younger boy leaned in to whisper to him, “You got a special friend over?” He raised an intrigued brow at Dick.
“What?” Dick spluttered “No.”
“Sad.” Danny shook his head in disappointment, making his way to the dining table and plopped his stuff on a chair and pulled out a few well-used notebooks. “The library closed early today, so I thought why not break into the local cop's place. I got a paper due tomorrow.” He explained half serious, half joking. “You don’t have to worry about me if you were about to head out somewhere.” How had he known?
“Uh, yeah I was just going-” Think, Dick. “-Get groceries.” Dick internally winced at the suspicious brow Danny gave him.
“At 10:30 PM?”
“Yes.” All that Bat training, and for what?
Danny blinked, “Cool.” he said dismissively, turning back to his homework.
Not looking a gift horse in the mouth Dick left his apartment stuffing his weapons into an old travel bag he had on hand and changing in the empty elevator.
When he got home from his patrol (earlier than he normally would’ve) remembering to buy the aforementioned groceries for some semblance of a cover story he found Danny fast asleep over scattered papers on the dining table. Putting away the perishables, Dick picked Danny up (who snuggled into his chest at the contact - yes, Dick was definitely completely okay after that) and laid him on the spare bed he kept on hand for his siblings.
The next few times Danny snuck into his house (Dick had offered him a key, but Danny had refused) things had gone similarly if not slightly more smoothly until the completely predictable and unavoidable happened.
Dick was halfway through his usual route as Nightwing, stopping a few muggings, and investigating the serial killer case some more. There were almost 9 different murders at this point with seemingly no similarities between the victims, other than the method of death. After going through the most recent crime scene Dick’s heard his phone go off. It surprised him slightly since he usually keeps it on silent, but he was alone so no harm no foul.
It was a message from Danny, it was probably a meme or funny video he had found. Dick could use a pick me up after another crime scene bust so he opened it. The message was not what he had been expecting.
Danno: sos? Danno: im at ur place
Fearing the worst, Dick dialed his number. Danny hung up before the first ring, which did nothing for his nerves. Rushing in the direction of his apartment, not even bothering to do anything about the costume he was wearing, the worst scenarios rushed through Dick’s mind.
When his apartment was in view the first thing Dick noticed was the open window that he most certainly had not left open. Quietly slipping onto the fire escape Dick peered through to see the scene. The only light that was still on was the living room light, likely where Danny was, but Dick easily noticed the hulking figure in the kitchen. He was easily too tall, and too muscular to be Danny. The figure moved slightly and the shape of a gun could be seen in his hands.
Not wasting any time, Dick expertly slipped through the open window and tackled the figure to the floor, arm held at his back and escrima stick at his assailant's neck.
“What the fuck-” The figure said startled at Dick’s unexpected attack,
Now with a better view Dick was able to see the familiar red helmet and leather jacket the assailant wore, “Jason?” Dick asked, surprised.
“I thought we were past this. Y’know let bygones be bygones, or whatever.” Jason joked easily, wiggling his way out Dick’s slacking grip.
The situation finally unfolded in front of Dick. Danny had been in his apartment and Jason as Red Hood had also come to his apartment. Danny thought someone had broken in, and Jason also thought someone had broken in. Was Jason about to shoot Danny? Where was Danny?
Quickly getting up, and ignoring Jason’s earlier remark he walked through the kitchen and into the living room, “Danny?” He called, not wanting to scare the kid.
Jason gave him a confused look, but came to an understanding on his own when the familiar teenager peeped out from behind the couch holding a knife in his hands. His expression only became more shocked after he saw Dick, and it took Dick a second too long to remember that he was still wearing his Nightwing costume.
“Aw shit.”
Danny blinked at him, regaining his composure and pointing the knife at Jason, “Friend of yours?”
After all the explanations had been explained they all sat around the couch, a stack of empty pizza boxes between them.
“You saw me with a gun and you decided you could take me with a knife?” Jason scoffed at Danny, helmet left forgotten under the table.
“I could take you without the knife.” Danny rolled his eyes, taking the last slice of pizza.
“Big talk.” Jason puffed out his chest in some strange show of alpha male behavior.
“Are you askin’ for a fight?” Danny challenged.
Fearing the direction the conversation was taking Dick stepped in “Alright, you’re both pretty. Let’s break it up.”
That had just been last week.
Two days ago Dick had gotten a call from Danny. Danny usually didn’t call, preferring to text, but would usually answer when Dick called,
“Hey, Dickface.” Danny greeted snottily. Dick noticed he was out of breath.
“Hey, Danny. What’s up?”
“You got the night shift today?” Night Shift was what Danny had taken to calling his vigilant duties. There was a lot of movement on Danny’s end of the phone, but Danny was always moving around so Dick hadn’t thought it was weird.
“Yup. Whatcha’ up to?” Dick asked curiously, cleaning up his mess from dinner, leaving Danny’s portion in the fridge for later. The fridge was more stocked than it had been since Dick had moved in, he had purposely bought food that Danny would like, and the boy had finally begun filling out his skeleton.
“Oh y’know, cardio. Getting those steps in.” He let out a winded chuckle, “When you get the chance, check out the warehouse on 12th street later tonight. The one with the cracked pavement outside.”
“You got a lead?” Dick asked surprised, “From where?” He was suspicious, just curious.
“A friend of mine told me. Thought you should know.” There was a thud in the background, like something hit metal.
“You okay?” Dick asked concerned.
“Yeah, it was a cat.” He said easily, Danny let out a hiss of annoyance, “Gotta go, Later.” He hung up before Dick could say anything else.
Dick let out a tired sigh. The kid had grown on him like fungus. Though not entirely unappreciated, Dick was not ready to hear his siblings' inevitable comments on how he took after Bruce. Didn’t help that Danny happened to fit the profile.
The warehouse had given them a few clues, but they still weren’t any closer to finding the serial killer.
Danny hadn’t come by the apartment after that phone call. Or responded to any of Dick’s texts.
This morning when he was getting dressed he got a call from the precinct. It was still 30 minutes before his shift.
“Grayson, this is Officer Gomez, the Chief wants you in as earliest as you can get here,” Officer Gomez spoke urgently.
“I can be there in 15.” He reported, slipping on his shoes and grabbing his keys.
“Alright.” Gomez hung up.
As soon as he got in the doors the Chief was waiting for him by the entrance. “Took your sweet time, huh Grayson.” she chided.
“Dunno what you mean, Chief. I’m 15 minutes early.” He gave her a charming smile, and the Chief rolled her eyes.
“There’s been a development in your case.” The Chief started as they walked together, Dick nodded at her in acknowledgement. But the Chief hesitated, before speaking again. That was unlike her. “There was another murder victim found, in the east district. Our night crew got an alert.”
Most of the victims had been in the west district, based on the location south may have been a more appropriate transition. It could be a coincidence or it meant the killer had a personal vendetta against these people, or maybe just the victim from the east district. It felt like all the pieces Dick had managed to put together were falling apart again.
“Our latest victim was a male, caucasian potential of mixed descent, age estimated around 15 to 17,” that was younger than the other had been, “black hair, blue eyes, roughly 5’ 5”.” The chief turned to look at him now, “goes to Westwood High School, prefers juice to soft drinks, always feels cold to touch,”
Dick looked at Chief in confusion, these were incredibly specific descriptions, and they sounded awfully familiar.
She continued, “He lets his hot chocolate get cold before he drinks it,” Danny had done that once when Dick had brought him in for his testimony. “And he plucks the marshmallows out of it with a fork, and called it a snowman.”
No.
“You keep extra snacks for him in the glove box of your car even though it’s against protocol,”
No,
Dick hands were clammy when he pulled out his phone from his pocket. Personal use of devices was strictly against the rules. Chief said nothing. Dick found Danny’s contact easily in his recents tab. He held it up to his ear waiting for the kid on the other side to answer with his usual “What can I do ya’ for officer.” or some iteration of the classic “Hey, Dickface.”
It went to voicemail.
Danny always answered his phone, and when he didn’t he would text Dick a reason within the next five minutes. So he waited.
It had been 10 minutes already. Why wasn’t he responding?
Dick called him again. Voicemail.
Nononono. Not again.
How was it that Dick was always too slow.
Too slow to save his parents.
Too slow to get to Jason in time.
And now too slow to solve this case.
Dick Grayson was a failure in every way that mattered.
He looked at the familiar body ready to be put into an ice chamber for further examination in the morgue.
“Go home for the day, Grayson.”
Go home and do what?
Danny’s notes were still sprawled over the coffee table. He said he had a test next week. Danny’s food was still in the fridge. His bed was still a mess, and his clothes were on the floor.
“Give me the case files. I’ll look over them again.” He didn’t recognize his voice when he spoke, he wasn’t even sure it was his. Chief didn’t argue, handing over the files.
The day had gone by and Dick was still stuck in front of his double monitor desk, pictures and words blurring together in nonsensical smudges on the screen.
“Grayson.” Chief called him. Dick looked up, catching a glimpse of the dark night sky from the glass doors. How long had he been here?
“Yeah?” He responded dryly.
“Head home.”
Dick wasn’t sure when he had gotten to the front of his apartment, only realizing he had when the keys jiggled loudly missing the keyhole on the door.
When he got inside he found Jason sitting casually on the couch, reading a book. “Oh Honey, you’re home.” He joked.
Dick couldn’t find it in himself to laugh.
Danny’s papers flew from the wind of the open window. Dick closed it. When he didn’t pick up the papers, Jason bent down to do it. “Anyways, where’s the kid? Didn’t you want me to help him with his homework or someshit. I need to beat it into his head that I’m better at him.” Jason said the last part loudly, letting it echo through the house in case Danny was hiding in its crevices.
Dick turned to him, Jason looked back at him for a long moment before the mischievous look slipped from his eyes. “Dick, where’s the kid?”
There was a deafening silence in the apartment.
“He’s dead.” The table under Jason’s hands let out a loud crunch, as his face darkened.
Before Jason could breathe an air of the threat of murder that was definitely ready to roll from his tongue, there was a quiet clatter in the kitchen.
“Who’s dead?” Danny asked, appearing in the living room with a large bowl of cereal he was shoveling into his mouth.
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table of contents
#this was originally suppose to be a biosibling danny and dick but by the time i got to the reveal it felt kinda forced so i dropped it#but its still kinda in there if u like the idea#timeline who?#dick grayson#nightwing#danny fenton#danny and dick#jason is also kinda there#major character death except its danny#dp x dc prompt#dpxdc#danny got flashbacks to his parents basement activities when he saw that dead body#but dick thinks hes having normal civilian reaction to seeing dead body#jason and danny wanna duke it out#dick is being responsible#this is exactly the kinda bs i feel like jason would say#argue w the wall#dick got bruce's adoption tendencies#dick: i've only had danny for half a day but if anything happens to him i will kill everyone then myself#danny was just trying to help dick out w his case and what better way then to get the murder to murder u then pull an uni reverse#danny's in the living room lol#get it bc he's dead#bruce: says smt#danny snikering: over my dead body#dick: thats not funny danny#danny: its kinda funny#jason makes those exact jokes: i think its funny#danny instantly: nvm its not funny#steph and cass puppy dog eyes: can we keep 'im pretty please#kind of angst
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thinking about the obanai & muichiro brother figures headcanon tonight. im devastated
#aka me just projecting onto my two favorite characters#demon slayer#kny#muichiro tokito#obanai iguro#i often think about how obanai will check in on muichiro#and obanais reaction when he realized muichiro AND mitsuri’s fates#and how muichiro thought to check in on obanai#because he knew obanai was in love with mitsuri#and he didnt want obanai to be sad#i couldnt find my photo but its a canon interaction muichiro has with gyomei in one of the written novels and it makes me lose my mind#im normal. im so normal#they are brothers ur honor#brothers#found family#also u guys ever think about how obanai probably reminded muichiro of yuichiro to some extent
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anyways i really it dig when a character just. isn't used to being seen and/or appreciated. my jam is when a character has a viscerally negative reaction to something nice like getting a gift or being told they look good because they're so used to the exact opposite! they're so used to it being a joke or a backhanded compliment that they get aggressive or get really weird about it. and it's like ohhhh nobody told you you could be cared about without strings. i'm into it
#pig originals#and its especially interesting when the character is trying to find a justification for being cared about like#Why The Fuck Are You Trying To Get To Me. idk i think its interesting to explore having extreme reactions to seemingly normal things
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hi i wanted to draw my own au so have a snippet of scene i rewrote like 12 times and will likely rewrite again
#was thinking about captioning this with uhhh the written version of the scene in my drafts#but its mostly just dialogue#so youre not missing much#i hope i convey the emotion well through expression#sigh part of the reason im hesitant about making this au a comic instead of a fic is that like. most of what ive written for it is prose-#-that doesnt translate that well visually?#a lot of the storytelling for this au i think is told better with narration#so if/when i ever like. share the whole story#it will likely just be a fic#but i suck at sharing unfinished writing on tumblr so what i post here is mostly scenes i wrote turned into comics#<- partially to gauge interest! i like knowing if people care about what im making#but also partially just because i REALLY like this au. its super self indulgent#i know i only draw angsty shit for it but i swear its about friendship ok. like half of what ive written is really sweet#.the other half is actually angst BUT THATS IRRELEVANT. ok normal tags now#doodles#ghost roxas au#roxas#sora#kingdom hearts#hmm i dont think this one translated as well as it couldve. its meant to be a sort of slow build to outright anger#bc its like. soras confusion + frustration finally building to the point hes yelling#but it feels sort of sudden here so idk. could also be that theres no context to this#roxas' reaction too reads a bit differently than i wrote it as (more angry than like. ptsd response for lack of a better descriptor)#WHATEVER WHATEVER DONE RAMBLING IN THE TAGS I HOPE YOU LIKE THE ART
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a lot of people are insisting on viewing jack and joker purely as romance for some reason and getting upset that it is not... and as a result their opinions are so disturbingly disregarding of essentially the whole show because the society as portrayed in it is so so important to jack and joke's relationship and background like do you think the whole four horsemen lore was just for fun??? do you think the temple and the people it houses is just some insignificant nonsense? do you think Suphanimit is just where tattoo lives? do you think Jennie's death was just a silly shock value???
do you think it's a coincidence that the main leads include a rich kid who steals for the poor and a poor kid who is strongly against theft???
romance is OBVIOUSLY difficult in their circumstances like have you met the average economically underprivileged gay person in an underdeveloped part of a developing country??? it's a love that inherently becomes 'different', stitching within it the social 'other'ness of the main characters. that's what people just can't digest. being used to seeing things as this or that, black or white, good or bad, has choked people out of the ability to perceive flawed individuals learning to love and choose their families despite not knowing how to love or protect in the right way, despite the world constantly closing on on them, despite the impact threatening to rip them apart.
#repost because i wanted to add sth#I think we need to be kinder to this show and its characters#like im pretty sure yinwar knew they would get this kind of reaction from thai bl watchers#but as a viewer i guess i did not think people would be this one dimensional in their perception and expression#there's a reason why the society is the way it is after all#we fail to check our privilege at every juncture & even blind to it when it's pointed out to us#because it's so normal#not understanding the degrees to which 'normals' and difficulties change based on who you are and your social standing#the deep character studies in j&j is to analyse this exact thing imo#but uh anyways this post looks so angry because I was angry but I won't be anymore#jack and joker u steal my heart#jack and joker
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People are really just destined to make stories and play together in times of uncertainty and struggle huh
#yes i watched tommy's new video yes i am having a very normal reaction to it#especially the ending#i should. make a post about my relationship with smps sometime smile. its fun to think and talk about#syd spiels mcyt
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Enecomimi Banzaiiii (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#Kabu#Larry#Gintama references lol#And translation jokes! Very fun#I like how my reaction to these two is a fairly level ''Oh I like them but it's not all That serious really'' and then my headcanons pft#They're easy to like and think about! What am I to do about that#So the headcanons lol - I like to think that since Kabu was recruited from Hoenn that he sometimes calls Pokemon by their Japanese names#Which allowed for this very fun joke :) I was So hoping that one of the Normal cats would be a basic pun on ''Neko'' and I was right hehehe#Since Gintama has been moved into my breakfast rotation - I've read enough djs not fully appreciating the context! It was time!#I've gotten the opportunity to enjoy some of the references pulled from the anime itself into the fanwork hehe <3 Nekomimi banzaiiii!#Once I heard Shinpachi call it moe* that was it I was done I could go on no longer without making the joke#*As in cute/endearing/exciting - but its homophone refers to ''burning''! Kabu is both hehe#He's so confused - isn't Eneco a Normal type? Better go ask the resident expert#As if they weren't already planning to hang out at Kabu's place haha ♪ Just going through his fanmail while Larry spectates casually#That second Kabu is probably the cutest one I've drawn so far!! Couldn't recapture for the rest of the comic that's for sure hwegh#Gotta study what does and doesn't work with his design hm hm#Larry's still much easier to draw which is clearly why he features for only two panels here lol#At least he's enjoying himself#Kabu + Cute Normal Type Pokemon = 😳 Haha ♪#You're being very subtle Larry I'm sure he won't notice your reaction at all you're holding it together great#頑張れ アオキさん
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see i absolutely despise jimmy (and curly) as a character(s) but as a literary freak i can appreciate the way hes used as a story device with his relationship to curly. i could type this more eloquently but currently ive had a glass of champagne and i havent drank in like 6 months so my tolerance is low so forgive my writing but. jimmy cannibalizing curly. yeah.
theres multiple messages here, theres the message that jimmy is doing what curly (assumedly) did to get into his position and, employing another metaphor, taking the "dog eat dog world" saying to heart. and literally. devouring his competition. or maybe curly didnt do that. and thats what jimmy thinks curly did and so he aims to do the same. choose whichever one you like more they're both interesting storywise.
theres the message where jimmy "consumes" curly in some twisted expression of love. devouring curly so that he remains a part of him, an expression that he is the gold star captain and something to aspire to. admiration for something he'll never be and so he chooses to consume him in order to potentially absorb some of his skill or become more like him.
and then there is curly sitting there helplessly being devoured. its something he has no say in, not something that he chose to happen to him, its something hes become swept up in. he becomes devoured by jimmy in the literal sense of cannibalism, but also in the sense that he became so absorbed in his friendship w/jimmy he ignored his wrongdoings and ultimately led to anya's assault as well as the death of the whole crew.
curly and jimmy intertwined so that one is always consumed by the other. curly in a literal sense, jimmy in a more psychological one. i mean like its really quite crazy they did the "im consumed with thoughts about this guy and want to be him so i must literally consume him" thing quite well. when examining mouthwashing's narrative you find new things to admire every time. each little story element has a place in creating a wonderfully complex and heartbreaking story. its very well done and honestly something to aspire to from the perspective of someone who enjoys studying/writing literature.
all of this is to say i think that there should be more art of jimmy covered in blood and engaging in this cannibalism like the stupid little leech he is
#spacie spoinks#only post i will ever make about curly or jimmy btw. i genuinely hate the both of them with a burning passion#i think im just. projecting too hard but i just cant enjoy them. i have tried it doesnt work. and thats okay#my life experiences just affect me too much for that lol#this is all they'll ever get from me lmaoooo#i will enjoy art others make tho#im mostly saying this just so people dont ask me for any curly and jimmy stuff skjfskf you wont get it smiles politely#you can enjoy these characters if you wish no judgement. there is a lot to like about them as you can see by my post#see i can be a hater and introspective at the same time!!!#its not something that can be helped my Literary Analysis brain overrides any hate i feel towards those two#and when i view them as tools in a story they're easier to deal with seeing all the time#anyway enjoy this post. im sure someone has said it better than me but yeah jimmy x curly cannibalism for the win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i love writing!!!!!!!!!! hope i can also do it some day#see but like my reaction is normal the narrative made me hate them b/c it wanted me to#this is why mouthwashing is a good story it made me *feel* something about these characters#even though that feeling is hatred!! and isnt that just so wonderful#characters did bad things and i hate them b/c of it!! wow. storytelling is awesome#none of this is sarcastic. hope it doesnt come off as that#whenever a narrative makes you feel something with this deep of a complexity it is worth celebrating#mouthwashing#okay happy new year goodnight
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rival with yugi thinking seto doesn't like him as yugi likes him, but seto's genuinely under the impression they're both on turn 50 of this foreplay game they're doing and he's never been more excited to play
#usually i dont like miscommunication trope#but i think its so goddamn funny and fitting with these two#kaiba has such out there reactions and assumptions to things#and yugi is so ready to push every weird thought and feeling down#that these two would Not communicate in a normal way to me#they could! eventually#after like 10 or 20 years of marriage they settle down and learn better#but its funnier if theyre a mess as first#rivalshipping#yugi mutou#seto kaiba#devo speaks
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> Finally started doing my schoolwork (due tomorrow)
> Sudden onset massive migraine
#i think its sooooo fun that instead of feeling like emotions about things i just get physical symptoms <3 i love it when stress or#unwillingness manifests as severe pain instead of an emotion <3 this is a fine and normal bodily reaction <3#but fr. im about to start killing. this is SO STUPIDDDDD#l#diary
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i feel somewhat responsible for this, even if i’m not the one saying these things. I’m genuinely so sorry.
No need to apologize! It's not one singular person doing it and truth be told I don't think it's a large majority that thinks that (albeit the ones that do are quite vocal). I didn't mean to upset anyone or anything when complaining about it, I was just letting off some steam.
Having a yap session under the cut sorry I feel like rambling under your ask anon.
Admittedly, I do think there are reasonings for people thinking this way. A lot of the focus with Clash has been on the cogs, especially after the 1.3 update. Which I can't say I blame them! Managers were something new and exciting and (from what I can tell) really separated them from the other servers. I don't blame them for wanting to put focus on that because that was their thing. Alongside other things, but majorly when you hear Clash the managers are mentioned in someway shape or form. But as we all know, toons ended up taking the short stick from this. This isn't helped by the gameplay itself, being mainly a fetch-quest deal so you often only talk to npcs once or twice unless if they're repeated ones and the taskline wasn't entirely accessible on the wiki for a while (shoutout to the wiki maintainers. The taskline script is a savior). Which I'm quite excited to see if they deal with this issue with the rewrite. I imagine they will, but anyways. Social media posts would often contain more managers than toons, which I also believe they're starting to fix. And ontop of this, I believe most of the team in the early era of the sever is gone, so there's been some stuff lost in the change. So yeah, dialogue/writing has been kind of rocky. AGAIN- I am completely aware of the rewrite going on and I am not judging them harshly based off of their current state. I'm very appreciative of the fact that they took the time to listen and are focusing on trying to fix it up. And then there's also fandom mischaracterization- especially of the cogs. Forgive me for mentioning mischaracterization because normally I wouldn't really care (I've mischaracterized characters before..especially in my younger years. I think it's just a process of learning an having fun and I hate to limit anyone because of it). With that being said, there's a lot of baby-fying and coddling of the managers. Especially with those who have more 'sympathetic' stories (Misty, Chip, Winston specifically). Don't get me wrong, I like these characters and I can appreciate the story they're trying to tell, but I feel like so many people will hear their dialogue and then misplace their anger. People get mad at Bessie for trying to protect HER lighthouse or at the Elders for trying to keep YOTT safe (lets not forget Winston was there to brainwash toons). Yes, yes technically there would've been better ways to do it but consider this: The toons are scared. Their homes, stores, lives are being taken over by a big corporation that has more resources that they do. They don't have the privilege of waiting, seeing, and gathering. And then people forget that the company has such a huge role in both toons and cogs lives. If you're mad over the mistreatment of Misty or the fact that Winston is still in the dungeon, your anger should be directed at the company who doesn't care. I may be completely wrong in saying this, but I feel like the stories with almost all of the managers is a reflection of the company. The toons are only trying to protect themself and their environments and yet this seems to go forgotten when people start bashing them. And of course, I'd consider myself a toon guy so me saying all this and complaining may come off as "I HATE the cogs and everyone who posts only about them!" and for clarification that's not true. You all know how much I like that little brain thing. The cogs are interesting, their designs are fun, I don't blame people for liking them because I do too. I just wish that the thought process behind so many of these discussions wasn't so cog focused because I believe that this anger at the toons for, RIGHTFULLY, defending themselves helps push this mischaracterization of them as a whole. That they're mean, boring, unlikeable while the opposite is true. Yes there are some, what I'd consider, "filler" dialogue from the shopkeepers. This is just because of the gameplay. But there are some funny and cute moments with them if people would just listen and read.
Which also brings me into another point: people skip the dialogue. I've caught myself doing this before (on my first account. I have 4 accounts total, so I reread the dialogue on like 3 of them). But people will complain about lack of toon personalities while doing this. It's like reading through a comic book, only looking at the drawings, and then complaining because there "isn't a storyline". Luckily, there's been efforts to keep track of the dialogue on the wiki but I doubt a lot of people are going through and reading the entire script. It just feels very disingenuous to criticize the dialogue when you haven't even read it. Likewise, people don't seem to read the blogposts either. This is both from a dialogue aspect and from an update aspect (people continuously asking about hammerspace/mix-and-match under unrelated posts).
#clemask#clemramble#I think I hit some sort of word limit because it wont let me add anymore so im continuing in tags#It kind of feels like people want the toon resistance to be the perfect victim and then get mad when they act accordingly#Fear. Nervousness. Sadness. Helplessness. Anger. etc etc are all valid reactions to their situation#Not every toon needs to be heroic and whimsical. they're scared. their situation is scary if you think about it#they're at the risk of losing their environment and homes.#Obviously the cogs also have their own issues but I always see this brought up when talking about them but the same context#isnt given to the toons when thinking about their characters and communities as a whole#It's kind of weird to me because I feel like even pre-rewrite I know that I can still understand them and justify their actions#and yet people act like clashes (pre rewrite) writing is justifying the cogs when in reality its not#its just showing that cog society (reflection of workplace enviroment) has its own issues. i never saw it as a justification#even with misty. like I never once hated bessie? my opinion of her never changed even after mistys dialogue#bessie did what she had to do because she was scared and wanted to protect herself and others.#id do something similar if a cog (known for taking over towns) suddenly came up to me#PLUS bessie leaves misty alone afterwards. ppl act like she took a shotgun and shot misty dead and it makes me laugh#ANYWAYS SORRY ANON. NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE.#realistically if youre not saying it then i doubt youre contributing#I would say “i wasnt mad” or anything but to be completely transparent with you guys i was Not-Happy when writing that one post#but it's not directed at any single person but rather the idea itself. I'm sure after the rewrite people will chill out#ITS NEVER THIS SERIOUS im beefing over characters named pretty princess sparkles. im aware of how silly this all sounds ok#the clash fandom isnt the only instance of this. ive seen stuff like this in sw before so like. I know this isnt an uncommon thing either#normally id just keep this on a priv or between friends but something kinda snapped yesterday#i think its bc I just KEEP seeing posts like it with those “hot take” posts or whatever and ppl are always so mean about it#i also think some ppl just already dont like toons and look for every. little. thing. to go after them for#like the “youve been drafted line” i refuse to believe people took that line 100% seriously#or maybe this is all wrong and im just a huge toon fan. and in that case i will die on this hill#you will have to pry them out of my cold dead hands before you catch me genuinely bashing them#ok thats clems giant critques and complaints out of the way
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what other hsr ships do you like, if any?
quite a few!
(disclaimer pls dont get mad at me for any ships i mention, and note that they never affect what i draw for Avenday 😭)
I have a ScrewTio wip coming up and ive drawn them before :3 literally so interesting. just as much foils as Avenday i would say
other than that in terms of OTP: AcheSwan, BronSeele, Jingliu x Bai Heng, whatever the hell Feixiao x Jiaoqiu x Moze polycule have going on
do NOT separate the girlfriends or i'll start tweaking..(lighthearted)
as mentioned in prev tags i love both RobiFly and StelleFly! CaeFly is... ok i guess but only if i put them in my elaborate headcanons and even then it works just as well with Stelle. I plan to draw RobiFly soon they are soooooo cute to me :3
theres more but i'll mention in tags!
#aishi.txt#anon#ans#(looks around) ok the masses are gone and wont read this right#in order:#Aven/Topaz#Robin/Boothill (BH isnt cis to me guys😭)#Welt/Void#are also ships i fw heavily <333#do note i like the platonic versions of these ships just as much. like the appeal of AvenPaz to me is that theyre exes lol#and Robin's too independent to rly ship with others#for fanart (and sometimes fic) i ADORE:#Aven/Caelus#Stelle/Sunday#like yeah i too would love stars#i do think Aventurine should have many lovers hes just a loverboy 😭#and i normally in an OTP (this being Avnday) i reserve one half of the pair to nvr multiship bc thats just me (this being Mr Sunday himself#BUT. however. i have seen the dedication SunStelle fans have for Sunday its hard not to be infectious :3 like yeah i love Sunday too.#again these are just stuff i enjoy i hope u guys tel me what u like feel free to sell me on ships u havent seen me mentioned :3#instead of. uh. the maybe knee jerk reaction of sending anon hate <3 yay <3#OH ALSO#crackship but Feixiao x Robin is... flushed emoji. ilovethemilovethemilovethemmm
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I hate this notion that "if you worry about being a bad person then you're definitely not a bad person because bad people don't have a conscience and can't self reflect they dont think that what theyre doing is wrong 🥺🥺🥺" like oh my god shut the fuck up can you please actually hold me accountable and talk with me about my actions and not just what I think about them
#im so tired like i AM a bad person in certain aspects#maybe not a monster bit im no good either and i feel like i have no one to talk to about what im actually doing#because theres either no reaction or some sort of toxic positivity individualistic affirmation that its normal#can we recognize that peoples actions sometimes matter more than what they think about themselves
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maybe i do need to go to therapy bc its probably not good that ive been living on autopilot and the last 7 years went by so fast but also bc i was deliberatly Wanting the time to go by to put as much space between me and the events of 2017-2020 as possible all while somewhat knowing my young adulthood was slipping me by and now both my teenage years and my early 20s are gone and i still feel like my 19th birthday was yesterday yeesh!!
#i do feel like im out of time completely and its kind of.making me insane bc its not fair lol#life could be worse! but it couldve been a lot better too#like on one hand i think i had a normal reaction to exceptionally traumatic shit happening to me with no support system.#and everything that happened was caused by shit out of my control and i Know that bc i spent my teen years specifically working hard to Be#in control#like i did make the choice to give up sure. but that was when absolutely every effort had been exhausted#and theres only so much a human being can take especially when i was so young#but on the other hand!! even when i found a support system and things are better now than they were#i still feel like im trapped perpetually in this Waiting period#waiting for life to begin Waiting for an OPPORTUNITY to make my life begin already#and no effort on my part yields anything so i have no choice but to WAIT#but im TIRED. of waiting#im sick of seeing videos of people way younger than me making art ive always dreamed id have made by now#theres also this invisable wall i have always had built around me that is Impenetrable and i keep hitting it#and its gotta be me but it really feels like the universe has some unseeable chains on me which aounds so stupid#but im not allowed to get passed it#im way past the point of even being capable of showing the agony it causes me now like its just a dull joke#ANYWAY the fact ive typed all this makes me think ok. yeah maybe it is time to talk to someone LOL#carry on im fine this happens to me all the time. helps to get it written out at least
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