#i think it went ok? who the fuck knows at this point
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well let's see. aaravos and callum - callum would be scared stiff the whole time, terrified of whether aaravos would possess him, make him hurt his friends, etc., while aaravos would be teasing him and pulling weird shit like he normally does, to the point where callum gets really angry and pulls a finnegrin's-wake-style punch on him.
ellis and aanya isn't really that bad.
viren and soren... well, if we're talking s6, things are bound to be awkward with viren apologising and trying to tell soren how he changed his ways while soren is just angry and confused and scared he's being manipulated again. it's prooobably going to lead to a fight - or, at the very least, soren punching viren.
astrid and kosmo isn't that bad tho, they seem to get along pretty well.
amaya and karim... yeah no one's making it out alive. literally tho, fuck karim. he's legit SO ANNOYING, plus he went against janai and tried to steal the sun seed and healed sol regem and did a bunch of other stupid shit. hopefully our badass amaya will kick his ass.
rayla and claudia... oh dear. first of all, there's callum. then there's the whole thing with rayla chopping her leg off and claudia not liking elves. and claudia doing dark magic and tricking them, and bringing back aaravos, and being on viren's side... i do not think they'd get along.
terry and finnegrin. well, they've never really met, but i can't see our sweet kind and gentle terry getting along with finnegrin, who is... finnegrin. i mean, he tortured callum and nearly killed rayla, etc. even if terry supports claudia, it's because he knows she has a cause, and when she does bad stuff just to be cruel (see: the trick with rayla's parents in umber tor) terry goes against that (see again: the trick with rayla's parents in umber tor).
ezran and runaan. oof, this is awkward. runaan killed his dad and is also... kinda intense. while we've got a sweet, cinnamon-roll, "let's-all-love-each-other" ezran. while i don't think they'll FIGHT, things will probably be VERY awkward between them.
last of all, janai and kim'dael. well, seeing as kim'dael kidnapped and nearly killed janai... uhh, i don't think they'll get along well. however, kim'dael probably won't be able to attack/kill janai because of the bloodline debt and all that.
sooo yeah, sorry about the long ass post but i was bored ok 😭.
Doesn't seem so bad right?
From @/HereQueer2 on Twitter/X
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ok im watching act 3 again to write down my questions and see if anything makes sense this time
edit im 2 eps in this got long as FUCK kjchgxhi come talk to me!!!!! im screeching into the void!!!!!!! americans wake up look at my post!!!!!!!! say everything to me!!!!!!!!!
why are we introducing time travel alternate universes into this story
where did the other ekko go, was he in Our ekkos universe/body or just out of commission, bc that makes no sense i think, if they didnt switch then wheres the ✨symmetry✨
do you think that skye had anything to do with them figuring out the cleaning flowers thing in the AU? and is viktor dead? and jayce in jail? banished? i wonder where skye went here i hope shes living her best not in love with a gay guy life
where the FUCK was the Original-AU heimerdonger when he got bodysnatched by the Our version? they do still call him professor but in Our version he just recently got kicked out of the council so would he still be just freeloadin around zaun at that point in the AU? was he ever councilor?
can everyone on my screen Please stop hurling their guts out from timetraveldisease
if theres no hextech and no anomaly in the AU reality then how did it throw them in it in the first place
ekko is smart but if he was smarter hed stay around to research what needed to happen to make zaun work in this version and save himself time figuring it out from the groundup back home, i think
but also what the fuck COULD have possibly happened to make it so different CUZ LIKE- ok the little flashback bit with vi dying in jayces house- the gang is wearing the same clothes as in Our version, so that would probably indicate that THAT zaun was also in the same state as Our ""original"" version too? right? no? i mean i would say they did put emphasis on clag n mylos clothes being different and more piltovian or whatever idk maybe im onto nothing WAIT NO BECAUSE CLAGGOR WAS MAKING THE DAMN FLOWER TO CLEAN THE POLLUTION SO IF THATS STILL THERE THEN IT COULDNT HAVE BEEN RESOLVED THAT MUCH EARLIER HERE RIGHT
also what the fuck had to be different exactly for enforcers to bust the kids after blowing up a building and not chuck them all in stillwater this time around? did they really care that much about vi dying? was that really the inciting incident for zauns inclusion? marcus? fucking MARCUS marcus? marcus "im gonna bury the lot of you" "deals with the devil to get a 14 yearold put in jail for life"* marcus sees a zaunite girl dead (after breaking into a piltover home and wrecking it) and just goes "aw :c" ? the council of rich businessfucks like salo whod do everything they can to maintain the status quo? is One Dead Kid (still the name of my nonexistent band) really all it takes this time? am i too tough on these people am i dumb if id like some elaboration on how that whole story went or
*to be honest i. dont really get what that Deal thing with silco was about in the first place
wheres Scar aaaat show me my guyy whERES VIKAAA
how did the shimmer story end up in the AU because IF the main change here is vis death then i could believe that silco WAS still already on track with beginning the production at that point if of course singed is also in the same position as Originally
is there a universe where that hammer lands on jayjays head and ends him right there
did silco forgive vanvan before or after zaun gets their "win" in the AU? because my bet is DEFINITELY after
ALSO how the fuck in a city like piltover did they not renovate jayces blown up flat after fuck knows how many years, at LEAST 3 (id wager at least 7 but thats just me so whatever) like city of progress who?? is it just there as like a cautionary tale??? did they put up a lil plaque for jayce after he kild himself?? they just boarded that shit up tho there was nobody there?? why did they leave it like that idk
WHY did heimerdeimer die???? DID he die?? why did he DIE?????? what happens to the AU-Original hongerdonger??? you couldnt have just waited 10 minutes and have powder do allat?? she trusted us right? maybe not
why WAS bonking viktor in the head with the zdrive the answer to our problems
powder knew what she was doing with that innovators cum petition sign right
WHAT the FUCK was that mylo claggor moment like am i inSANE OR WAS THIS SUS AS HELL also (man rapping) put some FUCKING RESPECT on stromaes name
how DID rizzard viktor stop being purple actually. god i still hate that reveal im not smart but i refuse to believe that was good writing
what happened to put that rock in jayces wrist? it wasnt a process it was viktor doing it in a split second why did that need to happen? so he wouldnt lose it? hunh?
no because WHAT IS AMBESSAS FUCKING GOAL HERE IN THE END
does she want kino back? whAT DO YOU WANT WOMANNNN
did that princess girl that got her head sliced off by bessa in the first season actually have anything to do with anything in the end or not cuz im just confuzzled
how does he know that
what does that mean
how does SHE know THAT
what does THAT mean
does loris have the same accent as vik??????
where the fuck did that ginger binch come from in the first place is she from piltover or noxus if shes from piltover what did ambessa give her and when
Neither of them would say ANY of this shit
wonder what vi would say if she saw this conversation before her and cait decided to pork
im just gonna choose to believe she was in there for like 5 hours so her labrador attention span just reset and she chilled out about jinx (actually ykw i guess im willing to believe at this point she doesnt really care that much if jinky offs herself or not)
what the FUCK ARE these goddamn doll puppet thingies viktor makes why are they LIKE that why is THIS the theme here (because orianna and Plot) (but like dyouknow what i mean)
what the fuck was the point of Skye Young as a character in this entire story other than a Gaydar Jammer. with all respect to skyvik stans but like. what is it.
lmao you abandoned them much before that guys
we stan a I Gave You Food And A Roof Why Are You Sad You Ungrateful Ingrate queen
it REALLY DOESNT DOES IT JGHCCGHIBC
why DID skye die again? they wouldnt have just? integrated? again? or smthn? why is this a one-passenger ride all of a sudden? we already got a hivemind thing goin? whatsup?
#arcane#arcane 2#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#viktor#viktor arcane#jayvik#caitvi#jinx#jinx arcane#jayce talis#skyvik#arcane critical
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Happy three years everybody! As always, there’s a lot to say on the occasion, so pop in at the end of the post for the tl;dr if you don’t have time for my detailed diatribes, haha
Boy, time flies, huh? Feels like the second anniversary was just yesterday, but maybe that’s just the several long hiatuses getting to me. I’ve been scarce on uploading anything anywhere for a while now, even though I promised I’d actually pick up the slack this time around. What gives? Well…
For one, college hell, and for two, a lot of unfounded anxiety about putting my art out there. Allow me some theatrics for a moment and I’ll actually get back to the comic at hand… I’ve never had an exceptionally supportive environment for making art. It wasn’t suppressive, not in the slightest, but it also wasn’t… encouraging. It was always treated as a hobby or a distraction rather than something I was allowed to be fully proud of, especially because a lot of my art focused on more cartoon-y and fantasy ideas, rather than still life studies and painting (which people generally outside of the art sphere tend to value more, arbitrarily). Couple that with a childhood full of being bullied over minute shit you hadn’t even considered could be an issue before, and you get a teenager hellbent on never sharing his interests or ideas with anyone, mostly due to the fear of rejection.
I’ve grown, thankfully, but that paranoia and fear doesn’t go away overnight. As I’m sure you all know, Meowchela was the one who originally encouraged me to post this comic, and the only reason she succeeded was because she was the first person in a long time who listened and engaged with my interests and my art in a meaningful way. It’s kind of obvious her friendship had a profound impact on me, and I’d cite her as one of the reasons I was even hopeful enough to apply to an art college in the first place! This comic, and that bond with another person, proved that maybe these things I’m so passionate about weren’t duds, and weren’t something I had to keep to myself.
So, fast forward a few years. About three years, in fact.
During one of my classes, right before this hellish two weeks of exams started, one of the class assistants talked me into showing my comic pages to one of my professors. He’s generally a pretty open guy when it comes to new mediums, but I’m always… apprehensive about showing my less “traditional art”-y things to professors, but, he ended up being genuinely proud of it. Specifically, I showed him pages 85-87 (because they’re my favourites) and, he didn’t read the text, just the visuals were enough for him to say “good job, keep it up” (which is HIGH praise from that guy). When I mentioned I’ve been meaning to simplify the visuals because I didn’t have time to work on the comic very often because of college and classes, he dismissed it on principle. I was honestly caught off guard. Heavily paraphrasing, he suggested that worsening the visuals for an arbitrary deadline was counterproductive to making something that’s Good™.
That’s kinda stuck with me. For a good few years now I was more focused on optimisation rather than visual improvement for the comic, and though it HAS contributed to better visuals in some ways (cutting corners sometimes makes for a less pointy and jagged end result), it’s kind of weird I’m treating an art project that way, isn’t it? I set a lot of… arbitrary deadlines and standards for myself, in the form of expectations and what I “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing at certain stages in my life. I’ve thought of Dread Not as a passion project second and a stepping stone first, if I’m being honest. As if it was too… fandom-y and derivative to be treated with more gravity than that, like it’s an immature project because I was still a child when I came up with it. As if it was something I’m making to Build Up to Something Else, something Bigger and Cooler and More Important, and… the more I think about the future of Dread Not, and even my future career options, the more I realised that’s, ironically, a really immature way to think about it.
If there’s one thing going to this art college has taught me, is that there’s no “right” way to make art, and there’s no “right” way to success as an artist. There’s no clear-cut paths, just more commonly treaded roads, but even those are heavily overgrown. Why should I try to box myself into thinking I have to make things from complete scratch to be taken seriously? What’s so bad about Dread Not as a story and as a comic that’s caused me to vaguely keep it under wraps when conversing with people in my day-to-day life? Why wouldn’t I put all these skills I’ve acquired to improve and expand this project that’s Right There, WAITING for me to finally get off my ass and get pages out there again?
I wish I could say I’ve used all this time away in a particularly clever way, but I really haven’t - at least, it feels like I haven’t. My art has undoubtedly improved over time (though admittedly the art for this post was Very rushed, fuckin exams), and while I’ve been working on projects in the background, chipping away at them in a VERY disorganised way, I haven’t been posting that progress anywhere, and I haven’t made any good progress on my biggest project, Dread Not, because of the other ones. And, honestly? Admitting that kinda stings. This comic means a lot to me, and I wish I actually gave it the time and attention it deserves instead of letting it sit out hiatus after hiatus because I keep failing at structuring my time.
So, my new plan is a little more abstract: find a way to work Dread Not into my school schedule, and slowly build a habit of working on it more often. No clue how long that’ll take, but I think it’ll be worth it to consider it as an option, and hopefully finally end these long, drawn out hiatuses with short bursts of uploads in-between. HOPEFULLY. Building habits was never my strong suit, so please bear with me while I figure this out in what will probably be the most hectic upload schedule in this comics history, which is: no schedule at all.
From now on (until the end of Act 1), I’ll upload pages when they’re ready, and depending on how the weeks go and how complex the page is, they could be weeks or days apart from one another. Hell, some might even take a month to finish if school stuff gets REALLY hectic (god knows Hellish Exam Week number 1 and number 2 won’t be giving me much time to work on the comic), but I’m determined to do this. I want to be able to put my all into this project again!!
(And hopefully finish Act 1 by the end of this semester…)
TL;DR: College is giving me life lessons I didn’t expect, and because of them I’ve decided to give myself a non-existent upload schedule for Dread Not: Pages will be posted when they’re ready, and the spacing between pages could wildly vary depending on circumstances and the actual complexity of the page itself.
As always, thank you for being here, thank you for reading, and thank you for being patient!
If all goes well, there will be new content very, very soon.
#dread not#dreadnot#dread not au#dreadnotau#not comic#kris#schedule update#again#apparently i was calling this last hiatus a pseudo hiatus?#oh silly past me. this was a full blown hiatus jesus fucking christ#but yeah no i love being at this college dont get me wrong#its just that i have like 3 exams to prepare for the next two days ALONE#so like!!!! wish me luck!!!!! for christs sake#yknow i was planning on actually Dedicating Time to the art for this post#but uhh. haha. a little thing called the consequences to my actions caught up to me#fuckin psychology exam today that i had to cram for last night#i think it went ok? who the fuck knows at this point#but for tomorrow and the day after that i have digital shit to finish some theory to cram AND an ENTIRE PAINTING#that i didnt even START YET#and its an autoportrait. as if i wasnt suffering enough i have to stare at my ugly mug for hours#AGAIN. BECAUSE I HAD A DIFF AUTOPORTRAIT TO FINISH FOR LAST WEEK#im in spain without the s yall pray for me
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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Finally figured out how to block people from a sideblog on mobile. Now I can ensure anyone I don't want reblogging my posts from plushie-lovey won't be able to
#before I was only blocking from main#which I don't think guaranteeds people won't reblog stuff from your sideblog#only that you won't be able to see if they do#if im wrong let me know#but either way I feel better being able to directly block from this blog itself#I went thru my main's blocklist to block any radfems+plushophiles+zoophiles+objectumsexuals on here#I looked at each blog to see who I don't want interacting with plushie-lovey and there were quite a few nasty ones#one person was nearly all the things I just listed except a radfem which is...not the w I'd want it to be#after going thru my blocklist tho I have decided to update my DNI list slightly#after browsing and educating myself a bit I think I am ok with objectums to a point#I still will NOT tolerate anyone who sexyalizes or is romantically interested in stuffed animals#but I'm not gonna be asmuch of a hardass on people who wanna like. fuck computers or whatever#that has nothing to do with me ir my blog so go on ahead with that#anyways rambling over#viti shoosh
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FINALLY I DRAW SOMETHING!!!!!!!
some Joseph, both young (around 1980 i'd say, when he was traveling w Stan a few years before the portal incident) and old (~2017, now an art teacher at Westchester High). i like to think the first one is a picture Stan took of him while they were traveling and the second one is his staff photo at WH. the more things change the more they stay the same. i might give em backgrounds and foregrounds to look like that
he's had that jacket since the 70s. real leather will last you.
no glasses alts + the first sketch below
#[holding him in my hands like a tiny baby bird]#idk if hes hiding something on his neck. he might be. those neck covers just happened. probably less embarrassing than Ford's tattoos thoug#also im not super interested in “what if Stan had a romance partner who helped him run the shack” type Stan/oc buuuuuuuut#unfortunately i am not immune to old man yaoi and have been thinking “ok BUT what if Jojo helped Stan run the shack” during this rewatch#i think theyre not super open about their relationship so Dipper & Mabel have no idea until the manotaur ep when Mabel realizes “woah......#“Grunkle Stan do you have a crush on Grunkle Jojo???”#[Joseph so called Grunkle Jojo bc “we've known each other long enough hes basically family”]#anyway Mabel tries to “fix Stan up” to help him ask him out & Jojo is fully aware its happening and says nothing bc Funny#they do tell her and Dipper at the end of the day bc since she went through all that trouble trying to set em up they should know#plus kids these days tend to be a lot nicer about gay people sometimes#also good: Jojo giving Stan A Look every time he's shitty or sexist but otherwise not caring about any other morally dubious/bad thing#like Jojo can excuse regular tax fraud/stealing/scamming people but he draws the line at almost getting Waddles eaten by a dinosaur#hes the worlds most “not my circus not my monkeys” moral compass#hes said that before. and Dipper points out that it IS his circus bc he helps run the shack#to which he responds “hah. yeah :)” bc he helps do the fraud and scams <3#fuck i have to draw that as a comic or fake screenshots or something#anyway im not planning on focusing on a Mr's Mysteries AU but i may talk about it occasionally#ANYWAY ANYWAY i wanna talk about him i love talking about him send some asks let me talk about him <3#oc: Joseph van Dyke
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where is my fat husband
#stream#i’m lonely !!!! i want a man !!!!!!#me: where’s my man#me at the same time: not leaving the house nor dating apps & also is having a mental breakdown everyday while self medicating#also i’m 90% sure my meds are starting to fail again ALSKALKSLAKSLAKLSAKLSMAKSKK#ANYWAY#i didn’t even go to gay bars when i was allowed to drink like 😭😭😭#it’s all a bunch of straight people#there’s no point#like i constantly here old queens going ‘young gays don’t do xyz’ or ‘don’t know how to xyz’ like ok girl its because that shit died like#idk probably before the pandemic truly it was dying but the pandemic was the nail in the coffin like girl …….. i turned 21 a month into#lockdowns like#ok so i did stuff illegally & went to other shit but it still was straight bars 90% of the time there’s like 6 gay bars in houston total 😭😭😭#like idk what they expect like if … those venues aren’t there & are increasingly AGAINST doing the goofy tings …. how would the YOUNG KNOW#like at this point idk i truly think that it’s kinda on the elders at this point ALSKALSKLAKSAKSLAN like yea they’re boomers at the end of#the day so like i’m not saying that they didn’t have it hard they did they did ok but. get over it ? ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLA like alright … but#i’m saying this as someone who knows the history & bullshit like ok yea everyone needs to understand what it’s like to have your community#die before ur eyes but at the same time. there’s no community now ? ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLLA like girl …#girl …….#yall HAD a community but now all that shit is gone & none of us young ppl have any funds to make that 😭😭😭#like girl i have 12$ in my bank account i dream of being able to rent a flat at some point like a ONE BEDROOM u know W A LIVING ROOM & yall#own rentals so like this is UP TO YALL …..#like ur the problem ? 😭😭😭😭😭#@gays for trump & loghouse republicans i’m looking at YALL#a lot of these mfs are liberal too - pro invasion of iraq democrat back the blue bootlickin NIMBA faggots 😭😭😭💔#anyway that’s just me bitching#i’ve been so fucking IRRITABLE today
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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so what if i killed myself.
#my moms been having health problems for a few months now so that means that she hasnt gone to the village to help my grandma#and in august since the caretaker(s) have holidays. usually its my mom my aunt and my uncle who take turns taking care of my grandma#but since my moms been having these problems. my aunt and uncle told her that she didnt have to help and that theyd do it#so like two days ago then i find out that my mom is going to the village bc my uncle is staying there. shes not gonna do any heavy lifting#but shes gonna be there in case my grandma needs anything#so i tell her that i wanna go too. and she says 'no. im gonna take a blablacar to go there'#she also said that i cant just go to the village to just see my friends and party. and that i need to help if i wanna go there#SO THEN i tell her that ok. i can go there this weekend and help her as well. SO NOW she tells me that no. i shouldve said so earlier bc no#all the plans are made. and she doesnt have to tell me everything (like the fact that my aunt and uncle didnt count her in august to help)#so like?????? im just supposed to know everything myself???????? like bro. i go to the village ONCE a year. last time i went it was christm#*christmas. and i had a shit time bc i had covid AND i was studying for exams. so like. when else am i supposed to go to the village??????#then she complains that im like. loosing contact w my aunts and uncle but its like. the only time i see them is in the village#BUT YOU WONT LET ME GO????????????? like im truly crying out of desperation at this point bc im gonna be stuck in this shithole place (zgz)#all fucking august long. all bc my mom doesnt think i should go to the village if i dont help. but also she doesnt say WHEN i could help#SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!!!!! im apparently just supposed to know these things#parents who have taught their daughter to be quiet and not be a bother surprised when their child (who is no longer a daughter)#keeps quiet and tries do do as theyre told instead of being proactive. bc thats what they taught her#suicide mention#z xarre
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every now and again i wonder why izuru assigned me hajime kin so damn hard it came true like how did this motherfucker know everything like that. and then i remember the section of my pinned post asking that people please not use the word "talent" if they want to compliment me bc i have a rough history with the idea of inherent talent. and how that is a genuine fact about me and something that has deeply influenced who i am as a person. and that that has been in my pinned post for longer than i've been a danganronpa fan. and i understand
#marzi speaks#having self-worth issues in middle school is actually just the beginning stages of kinning hajime hinata#it's ok tho i'm at the point where i've accepted this about myself. i lean into it now#like last semester. when we had to make performance art projects about a facet of our identities#and i chose. my own lack of a self-perception. because i straight up do not know who i am#i even used the fucking beach as a metaphor. i went to the goddamn beach at night. the whole vibe was dissociative and stressed#it was a GREAT final piece too i'm still super proud of it. but like goddamn i really. i really did that huh#head in hands. it was authentic#i STILL don't know what my deal is. i dunno what it is ppl remember me for#but shit my friends love me. n that's enough i think. for now#being friends with systems is so fun bc sometimes an alter you barely know knows you better than you know yourself#i still haven't spoken to izuru since then afaik. mfer came to my inbox called me out and fucked off. kind of iconic#but it still keeps me up some nights. how.... how much did you know#I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE MY CRUSH ON KOMAEDA YET. HOW DID YOU KNOW
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i still can't get over my roommate implying i was autistic and my friend pulling out her phone to show me the "i'm like if a beautiful woman was an autistic little boy" meme that she'd been saving for the occasion someone acknowledged it
#HELLO#guys i try so hard to be normal how the fuck are people noticing#ALSO WHY ARE THEY ACKNOWLEDGING IT#my other friend who is actually diagnosed with autism is also such a little bitch about this#if i flinch at noises or say something a lil too blunt he pulls me aside and goes 'are u having a tism moment' cause he's terminally online#just the audacity of people to point out that ur being weird when ur being weird. HELLO RUDE#my roommate and i had a long convo about this because she's Implied this multiple times#and the first time she said it in front of people. after we went home i was like 'do u really think im autistic'#and she went 'well you know i think it's a spectrum and you're def on it but also i know lots of autistic people who have happy lives!'#and girl what the FUCK. why are u so comfortable talking to me like that#i just got very very agitated because someone's phone was ringing for a whole fucking min and they were just ignoring it. what's WRONG WITH#HER. and im allowed to have sensory issues without it being autism ok shut the fuck up#anyways. i truly don't know how im supposed to react if someone says something like this. because a. im not diagnosed#b. people are far too comfortable armchair diagnosing me. like im not Trying to be different from what's socially acceptable leave me alone#c. but i also don't want to make a big deal about it because they're just jokign around but also the joke is that im constantly weird#can someone tell me how im supposed to react to this#honestly im kinda scared to post this on the autism website.#please don't be too mean to me
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magical john drag king is exactly what alan moore meant about the ideaspace this absolutely existed in our collective consciousness as a human species
#or i guess the human species? who’s to say#ok i actually need to stop i don’t know what i’m thinking anymore#i can like vividly imagine magical john on a stage and real and i’m afraid#also yeah no this post probably doesn’t make sense to anyone else#ezra’s real life rambles#silly hours posting#<- hello my old friend i feel this is justified (ancients of mu mu?????) here#why am i being abnormal about the fucking klf book. what why how this isn’t good this isn’t a cool one to talk to people about#‘hey so you heard of this satire religion called discordianism? oh no you’re not? fair enough#surely you’re aware of self-referential reality tunnels though right? oh no you’re not. hm well how about the illuminatus! trilogy?#huh. ok. well to cut to the chase there was this band called the klf and they had like many hit singles#you’ll know some of them most likely. but uh ultimately they burned 1 million pounds in cash!! like straight up!! and it was filmed#some time afterwards (i think like 23 years?) they went around on an unusal tour showing off the footage#but at this point they weren’t making music anymore you see. so it wouldn’t even make sense as some publicity stunt#but yeah on this tour they go around and ask people why they (the klf) burned 1 million pounds#was it art? was it rock and roll? and most people go ‘it was stupid and selfish you entitled pricks’#they both (drummond and cauty (the klf)) have a family yknow#like they both have wives and kids. one of them had like four children i think?#anyway the money burning happened on the 23rd of august 1994 in the island of jura’#you can’t just say all of that to someone no one cares#ok for real i’m gonna go now and eventually sleep
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Which fucking part of the fandom are you in if you think Ena is just hated for being an "Instagram Girlie"
#also which part are you in if you think people acknowledge tsukasa yelling at nene one time than that bit of nightcord's main story#but YEAH. OK YEAH ENA IS JUST SELFISH BECAUSE OF THAT BIT#if you seriously read that and didn't consider it may be because ena has only talked to mafuyu online and has no idea what's going on in-#her life i am begging you to read more. at that point of the story ena only knows that mafuyu wants to disappear for some reason#and called ena/kanade/mizuki out for wantint the same thing#don't fucking call ena out for calling mafuyu selfish for wanting to disappear if you aren't going to put it into the context of the story#and that context is that ena AND mafuyu are messy at that point. it's why they cross so much early on#the things mafuyu said to ena stuck with her as does what ena says to mafuyu#and i think that very much outlines that nightcord is a group of teens who aren't doing well mentally but still care for each other#sorry ena doesn't show this in a way that doesn't lead to her bursting out in anger (which is very much a shinonome thing)#project sekai fans when the characters aren't 100% perfect human beings and are in fact teenagers with issues#don't mind me i went into the tag and saw a thing that made my blood boil#ena get behind me
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crying laughing about the drama in my life right now😂😂
#so my work friend got fired yesterday because of bullshit reasoning rught#and so tonight I’m out in public telling my best friend about it#but like there’s no one around at the moment when we’re talking about this because it’s right after a movie we went to see#and she pushes the door of the theater open and we are the last ones leaving this showing ok#and she opens the door and she’s shit talking my boss because she once worked with me a long time ago so she knows him#plus I’ve given her all the details I know about this dumb situation#and who should walk by right as we fucking open that door??#my boss’s boss…. the one who fired my work friend yesterday and who we were also lowkey shut talking#so I immediately shut the fuck up because he knows me well enough he could recognize my voice and/or my face even if I’m out of work and out#of uniform luckily he keeps walking straight and we walk in a different direction but I’m like ‘that was *insert boss’s boss’s name*’ so we#are both laughing like oh shit 😂😂 and she’s like damn hope you’re not the next one to get fired now which like cmon I don’t think they can#fire me for that even if I was saying this stuff at work#but we walk outside towards her car and we get close and realize that his truck is like 3 away from her car and I’m like hiding at this#point so he won’t see me bc he definitely went out a different exit door than us and pulled out of the parking spot right as we reached her#car but I’m like…. what are the odds of running into him here? he doesn’t even live here so I wouldn’t have thought he’d be hanging around a#and going to see a movie on a Thursday night by himself instead of driving home since he lives like 3 hours from here
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op kindly only screenshotted the tags where it looks like I'm saying because the castles were not designed and built by the welsh (a reasonable interpretation of what the original post said) I don't think the welsh should get a say, even though I go on to mention that I don't think any money from them *should* be going to the parasites in westminster! But hey it's much easier, as I was inferring about nationalist takes like this on tumblr, to make me a colonialist boogie man.
In any case, the deeper thing bugging me that I didn't have the confidence to articulate (*signs tumblr death sentence in triplicate* haha silly me instead thinking it was fair to point out that op made it seem like these buildings, icons of welsh repression, were rather built by the welsh for the welsh) was that I don't know what money you think is going to the crown from this! The famously cash-loaded heritage industry, ah yes, they will surely solve all our financial problems if only we didn't have to send their vast profits to the stinking pigs in crowns...
They are doing their best to keep the buildings up. Guess what? English Heritage also manages stuff owned by the crown. Guess what? In England their public services are also fucked by nearly fifteen fucking years of tory austerity. It's not because of the castles. I'm delighted that visitor numbers are going up for Cadw and I have been to many of the sites they manage and frankly they do a better job than many of the sites in Scotland and England I've been to. I simply do not know where the idea comes from that they're rolling in profits that are being sent abroad to the crown?? If the crown owns these properties still I just rather think your petition should be aiming to bleed the fucking royals dry and make then pay for their upkeep!
Also I still think claiming the Welsh built the castles is absurd. You don't have to have built them to justify them being in Cadw's hands. That is the heart of what annoys me here I think: not the nationalist sentiment but the unnecessary distortion so many nationalist arguments indulge in, which undermines their arguments rather than supporting them, from my perspective (having already said in tags elsewhere that I am agnostic on devolution: it is a decision for the welsh to make not me. If you want my answer about a border poll in NI where I live then you'll have to prove you can be serious about things like pensions and health care provision before we talk about the effects of a snap poll and which way I would vote depending on the wording and the offers made).
MUCH more interesting and alarming from my pov is the money you're paying to the crown for the use of the seabed under your wind farms. If Chuckie boy believes so strongly in green energy why doesn't he do all he can to support the green sector in Wales and waive costs, or even maybe give Wales its own seabed back?
I am absolutely disgusted to learn that crown owns our castles and the profits are sent to Westminster. Wales is struggling, our economy is struggling, our people are struggling, our health services are struggling, and that money could go to the betterment of our lives - instead it goes to England.
despite the fact we maintain the castles and land, we don't own them. they are in OUR country. ownership should belong to us, the people who built them. we maintain them. we work in them. theyre ours and we should be able to use the profits generated by them to help welsh people, not allow the money be funnelled into the monarchy.
the fact the crown owns so much of wales is such an outdated and medieval concept and has no place in modern society.
petition here:
please sign. I am disgusted.
#this post raised so many ???? first thing in the morning ok#...... you're gonna claim this is a medieval set-up and claim the welsh built those castles?#the castles in wales meant to put down the welsh? the norman built castles and english built castles to keep the locals in line?#the castles built by the english to keep the welsh in line that are funnily enough still owned by the prince of wales??#i am NOT saying this is the ideal situation please ok!! i am also surprised that if cadw maintain them the money still goes to the crown#i think it would be excellent if the money that went to cadw stayed in wales actually#however it's not just the crown here - a LOT of what cadw maintains is in private ownership this is just their remit#unfortunately while you have the same parasitic royals as the rest of us in the uk you're gonna have bullshit like this#by all means nationalise the castles please do#but please remember that most of them were built to fuck up the welsh and not by the welsh for the welsh#i love you wales!! you do your thing by all means!! but nat bullshit is nat bullshit wherever it is#(*re: 'who built the castles' yeah probably some local labour was used but i believe the practice was to bring your own skilled stonemasons#etc with you. i'm honestly not interested in the %age of labour division in the C12th-C15th construction sites that we'll never know#the fact that op's response was just to claim they're ~welsh~ built despite the funding and the expertise that were likely not welsh#is just about what i expect tbh! i think there are interesting questions here about national ownership of heritage in the present day#the medieval ownership is beside the fucking point - which was more my point in saying the welsh hand in building them isn't significant#(don't@me about the value of labour i know i know but if you're edward i you can probably just get other workers from elsewhere if you need#and YES op it's right there you say this is a medieval concept#i'm mainly just picking nits about how people use 'medieval' to describe situations they don't like and then don't actually care about#the medieval reality itself#for god's sake i knew i shouldn't have bothered tag ranting on this#this is without getting into the legalities of the heritage industry in the uk and how the funding is split between cadw and the owners#i don't know enough about that to comment. but i do know enough about blindly emotional nationalist arguments to roll my eyes at them#signing my death sentence on tumblr by trying to introduce some sense of nuance and proportion into my feelings#about nationalism of all kinds YES even your righteous celtic nationalisms#oh well it was nice knowing you all#eta again: PIPE ROLLS. there are literal pipe rolls telling you who built the castles and what they cost!!!#the architects and skilled workers were not locals they were professional castle builders who came with the fuckung colonisers!#again#it's not a hill i want to die on the purpose of castles was to be on the hill and not die 👍
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the venn diagram of iconoclasts fans and twst fans is two distinct circles but that will not stop me
#im having some Thoughts.#some of this is copied from twt so sorry if u saw it there i just want this here for easy reference#i know malleus makes most sense as transcended and next in line to be father but honestly. honestly#i prefer lilia > silver for father + progeny LOL#i think everyone expecting malleus to go into the ivory and transcend fully bc hes been personally raised by father#and hten instead comes out as the most powerful agent of all time but still with all these fucked up side effects#is just really really fun#meanwhile i think for silver he was living in the boonies and had nothing to do w/any of the capitol politics#until he had an accident and got covered in ivory and just. transcended. and then got adopted by father lilia. lmao.#i think leona is a suuuuuuuuper old agent#when he went into the pod it was a similar thing where ppl expected him to be hte next father but instead it failed#and now hes blind in one eye w/chronic debilitating migraines and everyone from that time is dead except him#riddle as a newer agent but new is relative. by which i mean i want like#old man trey and riddle who still looks like hes in his teens/twenties lmao#i think kalim has like........ someone in his line somewhere who was Once an agent and has benefited from it enormously#the entire asim family i think. upper echelons of the city basically#i wanna say agents vil + neige except neige mightve died#perhaps like. rivals who were made partners after ascension but vil still fucking hated him#and i think at some point after that neige dies#in terms of a story........ i do think a focus on like. sebek who expected to serve malleus his whole life nad then gets hit with the like#double whammy of transcendent silver + agent malleus. is fun. u kno#OK THATS WHAT I GOT thats it thats all i got#twst stuff
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