#her life i am begging you to read more. at that point of the story ena only knows that mafuyu wants to disappear for some reason

[thefaithfulnightwriter]

𝐍𝐘𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀 ~ Chapter One

Summary - This is a story of an unlikely love. A story of a love between two people. Their love was so strong and chaotic. But pure that no one could compare. He looked at her as if she hung the stars. She looked at him and saw all his flaws but still loved him. She was his light in the constant darkness that surrounded him. He was the darkness she needed to see the stars. A story in which the light falls in love with the darkness. The light being Annamarie who was a shy and quiet yet powerful high fae. And the darkness being Bryaxis the monstrous creature that lurks in the deep lower levels of the library beneath the House of Wind. The two became an unlikely pair and are inseparable from the start.

Pairing - Bryaxis x Female!Oc

Universe - pre acotar - acowar [it may go into an au after acowar not sure yet though]

Warnings - ACOTAR - ACOWAR spoilers, Blood, Gore, Death, Characters may be a bit OOC, Mature Themes, Semi Smut, Violence, Language, Mention of Past Abuse, War, Things Will Be Slightly Changed, Fluff, Angst, Some Sensitive Subjects, Mating Bonds,More Will Be Added If Needed. (Please do not read if these are triggers)

Disclaimer - I do not own the series ACOTAR - ACOWAR. I do own certain characters, and I own my mc. I do own somethings that are made up. And i own my writing and whatnot you get where im going and what i am saying lol.

Author's Note - idk how to say it simple but i just wanna point out that Bryaxis will sorta be a oc cause there's only a few things written about him from my research and wwhat i read yk and what not. so just if you don't like how i portray him just please don't read or if you have something to say on how i do portray please be nice. so yeah that's all i gotta say on that subject.

The words across the page of the book had Annamarie's full attention. She was reading or soaking up the words of the adventure happening on the pages. She was happy to be able to escape into the pages of the book. She was happy to finally be able to relax and feel somewhat safe. But as she thought about such safety she began to think about her past.

It wasn't too long ago she was being abused and used. It was all for and because of her magic. She was a high fae from Hewn City. But she was different. Her parents were the cause of it.

Her mother was from Hewn city. A high fae with the rare abilities of a daemati. Who had a secret relationship with Anna's biological father from Day Court. Who had the magic of healing and manipulation of light. Being a relative of Helion himself, his younger brother.

From what her grandfather had told her. Anna never truly knew if it was true. Being that her mother died giving birth to her. And from rumors her father was assassinated. But Anna was born with all of said abilities, along with the ability to move things with her mind. She was very powerful. So Anna thought that it must be true about what he told her about her parentage.

All Anna knew was that her grandfather, finding out about such a relationship, was furious. And seemed to be even more angry that he lost his daughter. Which also fueled him to treat Anna cruelly and horrible. But every time her grandfather hurt Anna he made her heal herself, or he would forbid her from doing such a thing.

Anna would have tried to run away. But she had nowhere to go. She was scared. And even if she was going to, she couldn't. Her grandfather had her locked in a room for most of her life. The room being heavily spelled. So she was stuck and had no clue what to do.

That is until her grandfather wanted to marry her off to a male. Who was terrifying and horrible. Anna wanted nothing to do with him. So she did all she could to get out of said marriage. She tried so much to gain her freedom; she tried breaking out of the room, she tried to make a bargain with anyone, she tried begging. She tried everything.

That is until she was at a ball of sorts. A ball thrown but the High Lord of Night Court himself. Her first ball and first time out of said room. Her grandfather was cautious though. He didn't want to lose her. So he made her wear bracelet-like chains and a necklace that were all spelled so she couldn't use her magic. It also binded her to her grandfather so he knew where she was. She was truly trapped. And would never gain her freedom.

The night of the ball Anna was able to escape just for a moment. She didn't care about the consequences. She just wanted to be free before she was trapped in another prison with a horrible man who would be her husband. She found herself in the corner of a far away hallway. Once she knew she was alone Anna slid to the floor and hugged herself as she wept for what felt like forever. She took that moment to pray to the Mother to give her freedom. In the midst of her crying and praying she was found by none other than the High Lord's Spymaster, the Shadowsinger, Azriel.

That night she was rescued by Azriel, him having helped Anna find her freedom. It was after she told him of her horrible life of the chains that were wrapped around her. Of the scars that she had. He listened to everything she had to say. Azriel then promised he would help her, and he did. He took her away. He took her to the most gorgeous place she has ever known... to the City of Starlight, the Court of Dreams, to Velaris.

And that was where Anna was right now. More specifically in the library under the House of Wind. It had been a couple of years since she had found freedom with the help of Azriel. Who she was grateful for, one of her closest friends. He was the brother she always wanted, and more.

He was always there for her, as she was there for him. If they needed someone to talk to, they were there for one another. Even if they just needed someone to sit in silence with, they would be there. They were each other's family. Their bond together was precious to them, and they wouldn't change it.

They told each other everything; their secrets, their fears, and hopes. They were each other's confidants. When Azriel couldn't go to the inner circle, his other family members, he would go to Anna. Which everyone knew. Anna knew the inner circle and she was close with them all. Everyone had their own friendship with Anna. But she wasn't closests with Azriel.

Which was who she was with right now. Azriel was finishing his reports while Anna read from her book. Both sitting on a comfortable couch. Anna had her legs in his lap as he worked. That is until Azriel stiffened. Anna knew then and there he was talking to Rhysand. He then shifted and turned his attention to Anna.

"I'm sorry Anna. I have to go on a mission," Azriel informed her.

"Again. You know it's okay to have some time off right Az," she stated with worry. She didn't want him to go. But Anna knew she couldn't stop him from his missions, from his duty as the High Lord's Spymaster. She had to let him do what he does best. He was the best at what he did. That doesn't mean she didn't worry about him though. And Azriel knew she did. He knew she was worrying for him right now. Which led him to send her a smile.

"Yes. But he's worried about the celebration that is to happen Under the Mountain soon. I will be back though. Then we can talk about the book we're reading together. How does that sound?" Azriel grinned. Trying to sooth her worry.

"Really! Okay! Okay! Just be careful. If you get hurt let me know. And I'll make you some cookies when you get back," Anna beamed. She was then moving to hug Azriel which he returned with a chuckle.

"I'd like that very much, sunshine," he smiled. He was then gathering his things with his shadows and was on his way to his mission. As Azriel left he hugged Anna placing a kiss upon her head. Which caused Anna to giggle. As such a moment happened between the two friends it seemed someone was watching with a glaring gazes.

But Anna was oblivious of the pair of eyes on her. Because she was soon sitting back on the comfortable couch, and was soaking up the words from the book in her hands. After some time though her attention was shaken from her book that she was still reading. By the calling of her name.

Looking up she was met with a very pretty priestess. She was a brunette with dark brown eyes and olive skin. Anna knew who it was, having spoken to her a few times and having seen her in passing more times than not. Her name was Iris. Anna was quick to send her a shy smile. As she closed her book and put her full attention on the priestess.

"Hello Annamarie. I am so sorry to bother you but it seems I need some help with putting away some books. I know you're off for the day. But can you please help me?" Iris begged her with wide eyes. Seeing her in such distress Anna was quick to stand and nodded agreeing to help right away.

"Don't worry. I'd love to help you Iris," she smiled. As she put her book in her satchel that she had beside her. She was then throwing it over her shoulder, wanting to go to her room when she was done helping Iris. As Anna walked past Iris she sent her a smile and walked forward. Once she was before her Iris quickly sent her a glare without Anna knowing. Just as she did early when she saw Anna with Azriel.

But Iris soon smirked as she thought of the plan she had made for Anna, that she was about to execute. Shaking the smirk from her lips she smiled and went to walk beside Anna. Soon the two were talking about random things as Iris handed Anna books.

They were speaking of Velaris when the subject of a certain Shadowsinger came up. Anna was happy to speak of one of her closest friends. She wanted someone to know how gentle and kind he was. She knew many were scared of him and it bothered him. So if she could make someone see how he really was she would do it. She wanted him to feel more welcomed.

"He does seem nice from what I have seen. But I must say the Shadowsinger sure is handsome," Iris gossiped. Sending Anna a playful grin. Anna didn't seem to understand what she meant and what she was indicating. Because she continued to talk about Azriel with gratitude, nothing more. As she looked at the books in her arms. She didn't even notice that they were getting closer to the lower levels of the library.

"I mean he is handsome, he's kind too, he's amazing. He's actually the one to save me. He's one of my closest -," Anna began. Before she was cut off by being pushed hard and a scream left her lips. Anna then found the books in her hands falling as she fell down a few steps.

But she was quick to catch herself on the railing. As she did it seemed she hurt her ankle causing a cry to escape her. She didn't care for it though she was trying to stop herself from falling to the lower level. The lower level of the library that Anna knew not to go to. She was quick to look up and send a glare at Iris.

"What the fuck are you doing?" She exclaimed with fear. As she tried to get up the steps. Her eyes shimmering with magic from her panicked emotions. She would have quickly used her magic but she was still training with Amren, Azriel, and Rhysand to get better control over them. Still having trouble with her magic.

"Oh nothing I hope you have fun down there in the darkness Annamarie. Oh and yes Azriel is amazing and he's mine," Iris snickered. As she waved her hand blasting a wave of magic to hit Anna.

Leading her to fall down the rest of the steps into the darkness, another scream escaping her. Iris was quick to wave her hand casting a spell with a smirk. Making it so that Anna couldn't escape the lower levels of the library. Before walking off with a skip in her step.

Falling down the steps Anna found herself hitting her head and being engulfed by darkness. But before she could hit the hard concrete floor below signifying her truly reaching the bottom floor... she stopped. A cloud of shadows had stopped her wrapping around her soft waist keeping her still. The shadows were soon gently picking her up and slowly pulling her into the darkness. 

Nyctophilia Taglist -

N/A

[slightlytoastedbagel]

Which fucking part of the fandom are you in if you think Ena is just hated for being an "Instagram Girlie"

[certaimromance]

𝜗𝜚 You Says.

Post prison Reid x Reporter!reader

Read part one here!

Summary: After a rough night and some misunderstandings, Spencer needs to do everything he can to make things right with you and get his relationship back on track. The problem is, things aren't so easy for you, and he's willing to do anything you ask, even take care of you when no one else will.

Words: 3,1k.

TW: mentions of crime and trauma. angst+comfort. the reader gets sick (nothing serious, just a normal cold). english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: Ok, I didn't think of doing a second part before, but reading my own work made me so sad😭 the cat deserves happy parents (we are the cat) but I warn you that I do not believe in magic apologies.

As an interesting side note, both parts of this story are named after children's games. In this case, it's for "Simon Says," which I thought was pretty cool because in this part, Spencer literally does whatever the reader wants.

I also want to thank you for the support you gave to the first part and for the 300 followers💝 I could not say it before but it makes me very happy.

♡ Enjoy! ♡

I. I Love You, I’m Sorry.

Spencer had been losing his mind since the last time he saw you in person, and it was all his fault. From the moment the door to his apartment closed behind you and the oven beeped, he began to feel the broken pieces of his heart that you had once held together unravel and shatter even more. He hated himself for letting his insecurities get in the way of the one good thing he had managed to have over the past few years, and for pushing you away when you didn't want to. You had been his exception among all the bad things that had happened in his life for as long as he could remember, the only one that didn't seem to want to be temporary and left him when he least expected it. And he himself had forced you out of his life, even when you didn't want to, begging him with tear-filled eyes for a little remorse that he didn't give you.

Just a few hours after the incident, he tried to go to work as if nothing had happened to clean up the mess the leak had made and put the killer in jail. He brought Penelope the promised cookies and your computer for her to examine because it felt right at the time. Part of him needed her to find real proof of your betrayal so he could stop feeling bad about making you cry and saying such ugly things to you.

Then he found out that you were telling the truth and that your computer contained nothing but photos of the two of you, all the articles he had ever written or been mentioned in your searches, and a few writings in which you poured out all your love for him in the cheesiest and most poetic way possible. You loved him, you really did, and there was no evidence to the contrary, because even Garcia could later assure him that the information had come anonymously and had been bought for five hundred dollars. But it was too late, because he had given you a conviction without even knowing it.

That's when he started to fixate on making amends for what he'd done. Every time you left work, bouquets of your favorite flowers with notes asking for forgiveness and wishing you a good night began to appear in your car. He also made a point of stopping by to talk to you and repeat how sorry he was. You knew this would happen when he realized his mistake. You had told him before you left, and that's why you refused to see him. It was good that the security guards at your workplace didn't let him in, even with his FBI credentials. The tricky part was your building because the doorman already knew him and let him in normally thanks to the excuses Spencer made up, even though you said a thousand times that he shouldn't have.

And that was happening again, for the fifth or sixth time in the last few days.

“Please, just let me talk to you and tell you how sorry I am. Listen to me for a moment.” You could hear Reid's voice from the other side of the door.

You didn't say anything. You just sat with your back against the door and one hand on your heart, as if you were trying to hold it. It didn't even cross your mind that he was in the same situation.

“Just a few minutes, please."

Once more, you remained silent.

Silence was the worst answer someone could give. You knew it, and it hurt to have to do it with him. But you had no choice because you knew that by looking into his eyes for just a few seconds, all the bad things would dissipate and maybe you would even forgive him without thinking just because of the love you had for him. You didn't like being this vulnerable and having so many feelings for someone who didn't trust you.

Lately, you've been spending every waking moment wondering what you could have done to make him believe that you were really capable of betraying him in such a cruel and selfish way. You were the one who woke up in the middle of the night to try to comfort him every time he had a nightmare or couldn't sleep. You drove to his apartment no matter what time it was to make sure he was okay. You lost your breath repeating that he was safe with you. You drank many cups of coffee the next day so you wouldn't fall asleep on the job every time the situation repeated itself. That's why you started sleeping in his apartment, wrapped in his arms because he said it made him happy to wake up and see you. And even with all that, Spencer was able to believe that you didn't love him.

You were running your hands through your hair and sighing, trying to block out all the thoughts running through your head, when you heard his phone ring. You could tell it was important by the way he spoke and changed his tone of voice, so you got up from the floor at the same time he did to put your ear to the door.

“I really have to go now, but could you open up a little bit so I can take a quick look at you?” He asked in a pleading tone after hanging up the call. “Please, I know you can hear me. I can see the shadow of your feet under the door.”

You really thought he didn't know you were there, feeling like a fool for listening to every word he said.

“If you want to see me, turn on the TV.” Your voice finally reached Spencer, and it gave him a glimmer of hope. It was the first time you had spoken to him since that night, and even though there was a door between the two of you, you were talking to him.

“It's not enough.”

“And it's not my problem.”

That was more hurtful than your silence.

“I know, it's mine.” He replied after a couple of seconds, trying to process everything. “And I will do everything I can to fix it...I have to go now, but take care of yourself. The nights have been getting colder lately, so wrap up warm.”

You knew it was a bit silly to think of that now, but his attention to detail was impressive. Since you did the evening news, you used to get off work very late, and the change from air conditioning to the city cold was quite a lot. Spencer had cited scientific studies to you many times to make you aware and know what kind of clothing materials to use to avoid a cold. You missed that a lot.

If he had the same attitude as the night of the conflict, it would be easier. You could hate him and stop loving him so strongly.

“I love you, William misses you and so do I.”

You frowned because you didn't know anyone by that name.

“William?”

“Our cat.” He answered simply. “When we talked about how we would name him, you said that a lot of people name their pets after their favorite characters. You love the movie ‘Notting Hill’ and whenever we watch it, you always say you like Hugh Grant's character named William. It also means strong-willed warrior. I just thought you would like it.”

You didn't say anything at the time because you had to cover your hand with your mouth to keep from doing so, but you liked it and you liked it too much. Once again, he focused on the details.

“You can change it if you want because I don't know if he likes it, but what I do know is that he misses you. He lies on your blanket and starts meowing, and he also looks at the door. I certainly think that every time I come home he expects it to be you.” He kept talking as he received no response from you. “It sounds like I'm talking about myself. And it's true because it happens to me the same way.”

When he paused, a tear escaped and fell down your cheek. It wasn't fair for him to say those things now.

“If you want to see him and me not being there, you can send me a message...but I'd really like to be.” He paused again, as if searching for the perfect words.

What did it cost him to have searched for the perfect words the night he distrusted you?

“I must go, I love you.”

The last thing you heard before he left was Spencer's footsteps heading towards the elevator.

II. I Miss You, I’m Sorry.

Just two weeks later, you realized that maybe you should have listened to Spencer when he said the nights were getting too cold. If you had, now you probably wouldn't be lying on your bed with an unbearable flu and no one there to bring you soup or a cold washcloth for your forehead because your mother was taking too long to get to city.

When you were younger, you thought it was a great idea to get as far away from your hometown as possible. Now, however, you realize that you need a familiar face to take care of you because you can't do it alone all the time.

You felt a sense of relief when you heard the door to your apartment open.

“Mom? I'm really hungry and the soup is all gone.” You spoke in a tired tone as you heard footsteps approaching. But at that moment, you watched as the cat you shared with Reid jumped onto the bed and started purring at you.

You thought you were hallucinating from the fever until you saw Spencer walking into your room with a couple of bags.

“I know you were expecting your mother, but we brought you soup and medicine.” He said, sitting up in bed to look closely at you and put a hand on your forehead. “You're burning up.”

“What are you doing here?” You asked, trying to pull away from his touch.

“Your mother called me because she couldn't find a flight today and was very worried. She asked me to take care of you.”

Of course she did, because she adored him and didn't know that things were bad between you two.

“I don't need you to take care of me.” You barely settled into bed and petted the cat. “Go to work, make sure no one leaks information.”

Oh, that was a low blow for him.

“I asked for a few days off because you have a high fever and someone needs to take care of you.”

“You don't have to...”

“I want to.” He said, interrupting you and putting a cold cloth on your forehead.

“Just because you're looking out for me doesn't mean I'm going to forget everything and forgive you.” You clarified right away, trying not to lose focus because of the relief you felt thanks to the cold compress.

“I know, and I don't expect you to. Just let me take care of you now, forget you hate me until you get better. I won't take advantage of this, I swear.” He looked at you with a serious gaze, as if he were swearing an oath. “Please.”

God, not puppy dog eyes now.

You used to love it when he looked at you with those sparkling eyes. Now, though, you felt manipulated by it.

“Fine, give me the soup.” You finally agreed, knowing you didn't have much of a choice. “Just a warning, please don't answer any calls near me. I can listen in and use the information to hire a nurse.”

He ignored the comment and didn't bring it up to make you uncomfortable. He sat on the edge of the bed, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. His touch was light, and his eyes searched yours as he spoke.

“Is there anything else besides soup I can bring you? More tissues, or maybe some medicine?” He asked in a soft, soothing voice.

You shook your head, still a bit dazed by the situation and your stomach rumbling. You watched as Spencer disappeared into the kitchen, and you could hear his footsteps echoing throughout the house, followed by the clatter of pots and pans and the sound of the stove being turned on. You could only lie back on your bed, feeling a wave of tiredness wash over you.

A few minutes later, he came back with a bowl of chicken noodle soup and sat down next to you on the bed, being careful not to spill anything.

“Are you planning to feed me soup?” You asked, with a hint of irony in your voice, as you watched me hold the spoon and watch you.

“If you wish, I'll be happy to.” He replied simply and brought the spoon gently to your mouth.

“I'm not a baby.”

Especially not his baby.

“You hate me, I know. But I really want to take care of you, and I won't leave until at least your mother arrives.” He paused for a second, as if to catch his breath. “If you don't want me around, that's okay, I'll just sit in the corner of the room or in the living room in silence. It hurts, but I'll take whatever you want.”

You remained silent for several seconds, dedicating yourself to stroking the cat to avoid Spencer's gaze.

“I don't hate you.” Was the only thing you could say at the time.

Something inside you was expecting a more exaggerated reaction for letting your guard down a bit, or maybe you were just too feverish. The thing was, he had only given you a small, almost non-existent smile.

“I know.” He finally spoke and gently adjusted the cold compress on your forehead. “And that's why I hate myself.”

At that moment, while you were trying to make sense of how things had changed so much in just a week, he was watching you.

Spencer was waiting for you to explode, to tell him how sorry you were for getting involved with him and his complicated world, that it was all one big mistake that you would regret forever. He was expecting disaster, pain, tears, and a lot of chaos.

But you didn't give him any of that.

Just a sweet nothing.

He could tell at that moment that even though you were in a feverish state and had many reasons to be cruel, you would not be. He realized that you would never yell at him or do anything to hurt him, that the most painful thing you could give him was your silence. And it was then that he confirmed that you loved him the way he thought he did not deserve to be loved: honestly and genuinely.

“Why?” You whispered after a few minutes of silence. “Why are you with me if you don't trust me?”

“I trust you.” He looked you straight in the eye as he spoke, trying to show that he was being completely sincere. “I just don't trust myself.”

You frowned and let out a groan from the discomfort in your forehead. You weren't sure if you were hallucinating because of the cold or if Spencer was really shivering.

“I don't think I'm good enough for you, or deserve you, or that you love me because you want to.” He finally admitted, his voice slightly shaky. He seemed to be in a worse state than you. “It's silly because you've never given me a reason to distrust you.”

“I know you thought I was going to leave. But I didn't want to leave until you asked me to.” You were close to crying, so you pretended to sneeze to hide your watery eyes. You didn't want to show how vulnerable you were. “It was easier to distrust me and blame me like I was just another bad person you catch.”

“Yes, but...” He replied, trying to answer your question.

“Don't talk. It's my turn.”

He nodded after a few seconds, watching you with concern. “Just be careful, you're still sick.”

You already knew how sick you were and how deplorable you probably looked, but you wanted to say it all and stop feeling a lump in your throat.

“You say you trust me, but you really don't, and I've been trying to understand you for almost a year, Spencer. It's been eleven months of trying not to invade your space, avoiding topics that make you tense or your eyes glaze over.” You had to stop to catch your breath and drink some water with his help. “And you think I don't understand you or really know you, but I do. I know how all your dishes are arranged, I know how you like to fold clothes and eat toast, I know that chess reminds you of someone because your eyes get watery every time we see a board, I know about the book signed by Maeve that you hide in your closet and about which you tense up every time I'm near, I know about your nightmares about prison that you don't like to talk about, and about your mother's favorite colors that change every day. I know so much about you, and yet you think I know nothing.”

Once more, there was a long, quiet pause.

“I'm so sorry.” He held your hands as he repeated the same thing, this time with a truly sincere tone. The whole room was still tense as his knees touched the floor, and the apology he gave you seemed like a plea. “I'm really sorry. I know you don't want apologies, you want trust, and I'm going to show you that.”

You didn't say anything as he sat down next to you on the bed.

“I trust you, that's why I always tell you about my cases. And I will tell you about all my past, if you want, because for me you are my present and my future...of course, only if you still want to.”

The eyes of both of you were fixed on the cat you shared, who was purring and lying very comfortably in the middle of the bed. It was nice to know that at least one of the three of you was happy.

“Tell me.”

And just as you asked, he told you everything because he wanted to show you that he trusted you.

This time he really trusted.

[cvntluver444]

i’m your girl - ellie williams

ellie 📸 creds - s9ession on pinterest (and tiktok)

ellie williams x reader, slight!abby x reader

₊* summary : after catching your girlfriend cheating on you, your best friend ellie offers a little more than some much needed quality time together.

₊* warnings : smut minors dni, language, cheating, dom!ellie 🤭 sub!reader, light spanking, abby and ellie tensionnnn, slight ellie x cat, reader uses she/her pronouns, intended lowercase, bad writing, not proof read. if i miss any please let me know!! 🤍

₊* a/n : EEEEK hi everyone! this is my FIRST EVER FIC! don’t be fooled though, i’ve been apart of this lovely community for years and have loved reading all of your lovely works!! i really wanted to try and give this a shot because im a hoe and i have some crazy thoughts that i think need to be shared (this one really isn’t crazy this is like the third thing i’ve written so we are going to ease into it 🫡)

anyways i am so excited to share my first fic! it would mean the world if you guys left some positive feedback or constructive criticism so i know how to grow!! i’m also looking for new friends since i don’t post on here so if you want to be friends hmu 😋 i love you all!! again i hope beauties enjoy!!

🇵🇸 as always, please keep spreading information and support for Palestine! 🇵🇸

▹ daily click

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

walking back from a study sesh, your bubbly laugh fills the halls of dorm as your best friend her story of a disastrous hookup.

“oh my god, ellie. that would happen to you,” you huff out, trying hard to calm yourself down. ellie chuckles while smiling down at you. “i can’t believe cat said a different name!” you couldn’t stop you laughter as ellie explained the awkward interacting with cat. your laugh was her favorite sound in the whole world, which is why she always loved to tweak her stories just a bit. she knew just about everything about you, so of course she knew what made you come undone in a fit a laughter. so maybe cat didn’t actually say someone else’s name. maybe ellie said someone else’s name. maybe she said your name. but you don’t have to know that.

“yeah ya know” she shrugs a bit and pauses. “maybe she just isn’t right for me,” ellie shrugs nonchalantly. “anyways, is abby gonna be in the room?” ellie questions.

“yeah hope that’s okay with you, i didn’t tell her we were coming back so early so she will probably just be in our room and out somewhere,” you explain, as you reached for your dorm room keys. living with your girlfriend in the same dorm room would have some calling you a bit risky, but you never had any doubts with your relationship with abby. you’ve been together for a year now, you trusted her, she treated you good, and you were even kind of starting to picture your life together. however; that daydream becomes a distant afterthought as soon as you open the door of your dorm room. in front of you is your, now ex-girlfriend, naked and on top of none other than the infamous cat who ellie has talked your ear off about.

“what the fuck” you whisper out, your voice coming out raspy as your eyes quickly start swelling up with tears and your throat swells up. abby and cats giggles soon turn into gasps and their heads fly towards your direction. you feel ellie come to your side and put her arm on your back. “why don’t we just step outside quick, baby,” ellie sadly begs you, her voice full of sympathy, but also anger. how could anyone take advantage of such a beautiful girl. her gaze lands right on a worries looking abby who is rushing to put her clothes back on.

“baby no wait look please just give me a sec let me explain it’s not what it looks like,” abby rambles out a bullshit story but you can’t hear anything around you. your tears now rapidly falling.

“what- what- what the fu-fuck abby!” at this point, you can’t control any emotions. it’s impossible to try and stop any tears now. you’re defeated, hurt, and feeling betrayed. you quickly spew out a few choice words at the two girls rushing to get dressed, but slowly relax and fall into the tall body next to you. she gently grabs your arm and drags you out the door, whispering apologizes and begging for you to focus on her as you still throw some daggers at abby. finally clothed, abby forgets all about the girl she was just fingers deep in and rushes out the door towards you.

“hey hey hey please just wait please” abby calls your name as ellie continues to guide you towards her dorm. you can’t even look at her as you continue to cuddle into ellie, who’s arm is gently placed around your figure, shielding you from your panicking ex.

“just fuck off abby you’ve done enough give her some space” ellie turns to yell towards the blonde who’s still right on your tail.

“you can shut the fuck up and stay out of this williams” abby barks back. “this is between me and her, and the last time i checked, she wasn’t your girlfriend.” ellie’s hearts cracks a little at the sentence, wanting none other to call you hers.

“well after the way you just cheated on her, i don’t think she will be yours very soon either,” ellie smirks. abby and ellie get pretty angry pretty fast, spewing out nasty things about each other and who can treat you the best. you were going to go insane. all you wanted to do in this moment was cry.

“ellie?” suddenly, ellie stops at the soft voice that just called her name. she saw you, teary-eyed, staring at her with the most heartbroken look on her face. her eyes softened and jaw unclenched. her heart broke at the sight of you, but still could not get over the fact that you still looked angelic. “can we please go?” you didn’t even have to ask ellie twice. she nodded her head and gave you a quiet ‘of course’ with a sympathetic smile on her face, but didn’t leave without staring the girl in front of her down. she then turned towards you and flung her arms over your shoulder. leaning her head on yours, you two walked together back to ellie’s room.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

the usual 5-minute walk back to ellie’s dorm felt like hours as it become harder and harder to hold back your tears. ellie didn’t speak one word to you, she understood that all you wanted in this moment was to be silent, knowing that if you opened your mouth once, you would burst out into tears again.

as you two reached her room, she gave a soft “hold on baby” and slowly released her grip on yours so she could unlock her door. you two entered an empty room thanks to dina, ellie’s roommate, visiting jesse at his campus. as much as you loved dina, you were so thankful you could just be alone with your best friend and cry. as soon as you heard ellie shut the door, it was exactly what you did.

as soon as she heard your heartbreaking sobs, ellie quickly rushed over to your side and engulfing you with her toned arms. she shushed you quickly and rocked back and forth, doing everything in her power to try and somehow make your beautiful face smile again.

“i can’t fucking believe her” you finally speak up after several minutes of silence and sniffles. ellie looks over at you, startled after not hearing your voice in a while. “we were together for over a year, we were literally living together in the same fucking room, like, where does she think i’m gonna go now? i’m not living there anymore i fucking hate her!” your sadness has now turned into rage and your slowly growing louder as your rant goes on.

“hey hey hey,” ellie tried to calm you down. “don’t worry about all that now, okay baby? you’re gonna stay with me, and you me and dina are gonna have a big slumber party and have pillow fights and make cookies and talk about boys.” ellie’s joke works miracles and brings a small smile on your face and a little giggle reaches ellie’s ears.

“there she is,” ellie smiles. “i missed that beautiful laugh.” you can’t help but get a little flustered at her comment. now that you were done with abby, your relationship was quickly forgotten when you remembered just how much you were in love with ellie before. you always thought she was so beautiful, and of course she always treated you like a princess.

when you finally worked up enough courage to speak, a quiet “i’m sorry, ellie” left your lips.

“what are you apologizing for baby?” ellie asks you with a confused look on her face. in the moment of catch your girlfriend fucking another girl, you totally forgot all about your own best friend and her crush, and how she was probably going through the same emotions as you right now.

“i’ve been being so selfish. i’ve only been thinking about me and my relationship that i completely forgot about your obsession with cat” you sadly smile and give her an apologetic look. you remembered all the times that ellie would gush about cat with you

“cats skirt looks so good” ellie seductively says to you while you grab your things out of your locker. you glance over to where cat was talking to two other friends at a locker bay across from the two of you. it is pretty cute you thought to yourself. you frown looking down at yours. just a plain boring white skirt.

or that one time when you two were putting off studying in your deserted dorm room

“wait stop scrolling! there! yes! let’s watch that one.” you questioned her on her choice because it was your favorite movie too and you didn’t think she would ever like it, considering she laughed in your face when you told her about it. “oh um i know yo- um it’s cats favorite movie.” ellie saves herself from almost admitting to you that she may have done a little too much stalking that night and found out a couple of your favorite things.

or the night of the frat party, the night ellie’s compliment to cat broke your heart so much, you’d call it one of the worst nights of your life.

“ok now my turn stop hogging,” you giggle at ellie and she shoves you away from the blunt. she finally hands it over and take a hit. you look around at the view of campus from on top of the frat house. “it’s sooo pretty up here, els.” you giggle as you blow the smoke out. ellie chuckles with you and you two burst into laughing. “oh my god how high are we,” you squeak out “ellie look and tell me how red my eyes are.” you’re suddenly staring straight at ellie, and in her haze she lets out a small ‘woah’.

“i uh i mean uh-“ she stutters out as you question what she meant and furrowed your brows. “i mean i was just looking into your eyes and thinking about cat,” she spews out “you know she just has eyes just like yours,” your small smile falls suddenly and confused brows now turn downwards. “uh yeah cats eyes you know they’re like a beautiful uh” while ellie tries to think, she then stares at you again and describes your eyes. cat has eyes like mine? i could’ve sworn they were different. your cloudy mind is not sober enough to realize what’s actually happening, instead your heart breaks even more, thinking that ellie has probably stared into cats eyes so many times she’s pinpointed every detail about them. once you two tossed out the blunt over the roof, you headed back downstairs together. still hurt with ellie’s rambles, you quickly get away from her as soon as your in the clear, leading you to meet abby. why is the worst time if it led you to meet your girlfriend? well, before the cheating, you would’ve had no idea why.

ellie’s hand in front of your face brings you back to reality, which is not fun. ellie is still sitting next to you on the couch and you have to ask her to repeat what she said.

“i was asking what you were apologizing for, baby. you were the one that got cheated on, not me.” ellie chuckles, but slowly realizes what she said. she see your eyes drop down again and the sadness returns to your face. while she’s quickly trying to come up with something to say to save herself, she stops when you stand upnn

“is it ok if i go use your bathroom real quick?” you sadly ask ellie, and she nods with a small smile on her face. you give her a quiet thanks and walk towards the shared restroom of ellie and dina. ellie brings her hands to her head and scolds herself. if you’re trying to make her feel better and give her a hint, this is NOT the right way to do it. she couldn’t shove down her feeling forever, but she also did not want to confess and risk losing you completely. she tried to clear her mind and think about what dina or jesse would tell her to do in this situation. while trying to focus, she could hear you shuffling around in the bathroom. she knew why you were really in there, she wasn’t stupid. thinking about that just made her feel ten times more guilty. she knew what to do.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

as soon as you go into the bathroom you lock the door and force the tears welling in your eyes to go away. you decided to wash your face with cold water to try and snap yourself out of your emotional roller coaster. you dry your face with the hand towel and turn to look at yourself in the mirror. you were still in so much shock at the events that happened tonight. you take in your messed up appearance and cringe. your bloodshot red eyes were not a pretty sight, and neither was the smudged mascara scattered underneath your eyes. you hope ellie wouldn’t be too grossed out by the way you look right now.

huhhhh?

woah okay the feelings are for sure back. you try to get yourself to look less dead inside by washing your face a couple more times. you opened the bathroom door and slowly walked back out to the couch. you sit back down next to her and put a blanket around yourself, meanwhile she is mindlessly scrollings through netflix trying to find something to watch before she stops on none other than you (and cats) favorite movie.

“oh hey what about this one” she looks over at you with a little smile on her face. you give her a confused look as to why she suggested this one, knowing it was cats favorite movie too.

“but, ellie, won’t that make you, i don’t know, sad?” you question. now she’s the one giving you confused looks.

“why is it like a sad movie or something? i didn’t think it was. i thought we could watch it because it’s your favorite movie and i thought it would make you feel a little bit better,” she smiles back. now you’re even more confused. for starters, she told you it was cats favorite movie, and also, you don’t even remember telling her it was your favorite.

“how’d you know?” you asked her. she replied with a little huh and you asked again. “how’d you know this was my favorite movie? i don’t think i told you that, and i thought it would make you sad because you told me before it was cats favorite movie.” ellie’s face suddenly turns from confused, to scared almost. she stated stuttering and couldn’t form a single word.

after a couple second of struggling, ellie says your name. “it’s not cats favorite movie. i don’t even know cats favorite movie. in fact, i actually don’t know a lot about cat in general.” she looks at you with an almost scared look. now she just completely lost you. when she realizes you still haven’t caught on, she finally begins to explain what she means after a long pause.

“it was never cat”. the room suddenly gets loud, very loud. your ears start to ring and your breath leaves your throat. you couldn’t believe it, again. the whole time you were pushing away your feelings for ellie, she was trying to do the same with her feelings about you. suddenly, you start thinking back to all the moments when you thought ellie was crushing on cat. slowly, more dots start connecting.

you glance over to where cat was talking to two other friends at a locker bay across from the two of you. it is pretty cute you thought to yourself. you frown looking down at yours. just a plain boring white skirt. you’re not the only one looking though. if you would’ve turned around to face your best friend again, you would’ve seen her also looking at your ‘plain boring white skirt’, grateful that she quickly replaced ‘your skirt’ with ‘cat’.

or that other night, after the blunt, when you were crying your eyes out to abby. ellie kicking herself outside and hoping, praying even, that you wouldn’t know the actual color of cats eyes, and that maybe you were even dumb enough to not know the specific details of your own (you were).

you wish you could go back and slap the old you in face, that way, you and ellie could’ve avoided this whole abby and cat mess and could’ve been together longer than you and abby ever would’ve been. now you’re staring up at, after she just confessed her feelings for you. you didn’t know what to say, well you did, you wanted to say that you felt the exact same was and you have since the day you met her, but you’re too slow so she keeps explaining to you.

“i’m sorry to bring it up, but when we walked in today, my heart broke. it didn’t break because i saw cat with another girl. it broke because i saw her with your girl, and i never knew anyone would ever be that fucking stupid to throw away someone as gorgeous, generous, and as selfless as you,” she pauses and you cry again for the millionth time tonight; however, this time the tears feel good. happy tears. she continues and says your name in the softest tone possible. “so again, it was never cat. it was you.”

“abby is not ‘my girl’” you cringe. ellie looks up at your quick response. “i always kind of hoped it was you.” you break apart your words, still scared to admit how you feel even though she just spilled her heart out. the response you got back though washed all your worries away.

“can i kiss you?” she asked quietly. you couldn’t believe it (x3). it was finally happening. every single event that happened up to this very moment has vanished from your mind. all you could think about was how you couldn’t nod your head yes faster. she gives you a beautiful grin before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and gently gripping our chin to pull you closer. at last, your lips touched and it was everything you imagined and more. after you two slowly made out for a couple minutes, taking a couple paused to breathe in between, the kisses started turning more aggressive. you jump as you felt a soft touch on ur upper thigh. you relaxed once she placed her full hand on you and rubbed it up and down. you let out a soft moan which made ellie groan and trail kisses down your neck. you whined as you suddenly felt her pull back. her eyes looked right into your eyes, and she placed her forehead against yours. you two panted as you stared into each others sinful gazes. silence took over for a while before ellie suddenly interrupted.

“can i take you to bed baby?” you bit you lip and nodded, your innocent eyes locked on hers. fuck, you were perfect. it made ellie’s iris’ turn black, and she slowly guided you to her room, littering your face with teasing kisses on the way there. she sat you down on the edge of the bed and got on her knees, lips never leaving yours. her hands caressed your thighs once more, rubbing outwards so that your legs slowly separate. your lips follow as she pulls away to see your skirt has ridden up and she smirks, staring directly at your wet panties. “oh baby” she groans, her focus fully on your clothed pussy, begging to be touched. you lean back and tilt your head so you’re staring up at the ceiling, eyes squeezing shut and a moan leaving your mouth as soon as you feel small kisses going up you thighs. “love those fucking sounds, baby. you’re so angelic.”

“el’s. t-touch me,” you beg, but she light slaps your thighs and gives you a couple disappointments tsks.

“sweetheart, you gotta ask nicer.” she pouts up at you, malice in her voice.

“please, el’s, i need you to t-touch me please” you drag out, embarrassed that she has you this worked up and she’s barely touching you yet. she smirks up at you and her kisses get more sloppy the higher she goes, and finally, her mouth is hovering above your cunt, her hot breath purposely breathing heavy. she loved watching you whine and jolt under her touch. how crazy she made you go even with just a couple kisses. she loves how much control she has over you, and how well you listen to her.

“lift up your shirt, pretty girl. wanna see you play with your tits while i eat this pussy.” her words alone make you want to cum, but then it would be over, so you pull yourself together and do as she said. out of no where, you felt a long lick up you pussy, you body tightening suddenly and letting out a humiliatingly loud moan. “that’s right, baby. let me hear you. do i make you feel good? hm?” you shake your head vigorously, staring down into her green eyes staring right back up at you. she now loops her arms around your legs and spreads them further, making you squeak. “fuck, such a pretty fucking pussy,” she moans, and slowly starts licking up and down continuously.

you’re a mess. one hand gripping her hair, trying to push her even more into you, making ellie grunt, her own panties quickly getting wet at how bad you wanna cum. your other hand is placed perfect cupping your left tit, playing with it just like ellie told you to.

“el’s you’re gonna make me cum,” you whine, your eyebrows furrowed and voice raspy. you look so fucking sexy right now, and ellie tries her hardest to take a mental picture for later.

“yeah? you gonna cum baby?” she teasingly asks you and you whimper out a mhm. once again speechless with the way ellie is slopingly eating your pussy.

you suddenly feel a finger teasing your entrance before it slowly slips in. your moans groan louder, and her pace quickens.

“el’s, ca- can i please?” you beg, the knot in your stomach was growing rapidly. she lifted her head up for less than one second, a stern ‘cum’ leaving her lips, before she returns back to where her tongue was. you scream as you do, vision going black as ellie fucks you though your orgasm, fingers now rubbing even faster on your clit, causing you to completely come undone and cum all over her face. she doesn’t stop until you’re shaking and overstimulating under her. when she does, the only sounds in the room are your quick pants, and ellie’s bed as she moves to scoot closer towards you.

“woah,” you say, still trying to catch your breath. “that was..”

“way overdue” ellie chips in. the two of laugh and you move to lean you head on her shoulder. it’s silent again before you finally speak up.

“i don’t think i ever really thanked you for taking care of my today. i don’t think i would’ve been able to have this much fun today if it wasn’t for you,” you tell her and you feel her hands that were once in your hair, come around and lift your chin to give her a kiss m.

“you don’t need to thank me pretty girl, i wanted to take care of you.” her confession made your heart flutter. “plus i knew that maybe i might have a chance to finally fuck you,” she teases you and you hit her arm, jokingly sending her a scoff.

“you’re right by the way,” she finally adds on. you give her a confused look and hope she takes the hint to explain what she meant. “you’re not abby’s girl.”

“i’m not abby’s girl,” you repeat.

“you’re my girl,” she tells you, eyes never leaving yours, a small smile on her face.

“i’m your girl.”

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

₊* a/n : ahhhh i really hope you guys liked it! 🤍 if you did please let me know because it would mean the world!

love you soooooo much MUAH

[thisblogisaboutabook]

Rainy Season - Part 4

All You Ever

Azriel reflects on his past mistake including the night with Elain. Cassian makes a huge mistake.

A/N: Before reading this chapter please know that I am not condoning cheating or the actions of Azriel or Elain. I do not feel sorry for either of them in any way. I simply enjoy adding a little complexity to the story and selfishly love sprinkling in chaos. Also this is not proofread, I’m exhausted.

And for cauldron’s sake, please just trust the process before yelling at me!!! This is just one chapter from the two biggest idiots involved, not the whole story.

Part 3 Part 5

Warnings: Not proofread, Alcohol, Language, Unintentional ingestion of an aphrodisiac leading to sex

Azriel

He may have been a fucking idiot but Azriel’s self-awareness was painfully acute. His scar riddled hands were forever tainted with the essence of blood that even her plush lips couldn’t kiss away, his angel mate. What a cruel joke the cauldron had played the day that bond snapped between them. She was resplendent in sun shrouded glory and he was the devil who dragged her down. Just selfish enough to ignore the warning bells that he’d one day fuck it all up, just selfish enough to pull her away from her home and covet her within the walls of Velaris. In the beginning, he’d fought so hard to deserve her though she’d never asked him to. She wanted only him and knew he was unworthy of her, he always had been. It was exhausting - the mask. Constantly trying to hide from her that dark, sadistic side of him that was everything opposite of what she was.

She saw through it, of course. She always had. All she wanted was him, all of him. Begging him to show her beyond the good of him at surface level, she wanted all of his self-proclaimed bad too. She’d told him that dozens of times over the years but dropping that mask meant unpacking so much - so much more ugly than even he was prepared to reveal to himself.

At some point he began to resent her and he knew it wasn’t fair. He resented his perfect, pure, untainted mate. Wasn’t it ironic that she’d shown him everything beneath her own surface numerous times, unveiled that she herself was not the Angel he placed her on a pedestal as. She’d shown him everything and he still viewed her through that near-holy lense.

If only he could have put his stubbornness, his self-loathing aside and realized she would have done the same for him. It was too late for that now.

And now I'm without you, and it took distance to see that losing you, means losing everything

————

Something had been wrong for a while. He ignored it assuming that perhaps it was a mental blockade erected by a combination of fatigue and work tensions. He’d slowly distanced himself from his mate. He knew it hurt her, it hurt him too. His intentions were genuine, sparing her the pain of his own inner turmoil by distancing himself while he worked through it. He was simultaneously aware that he was a fucking bastard for doing so, she deserved an explanation but he couldn’t give it to her yet. He justified it as the lesser of two evils.

Unsurprisingly, the mating bond is a fickle thing. As he distanced himself, a chasm of emptiness opened within him that he’d desperately tried to fill with missions and various courtly duties. Training with the Valkyries helped, being there for Elain through her own struggles….

He took his duty to help her seriously, though it technically was not a duty even assigned to him. A distraction. It was a distraction. Ever the spymaster he spent their initial time together observing her, the things that brought a little bit of life back to those once bright eyes.

He’d sun his wings while she gardened and read across from her in the study, little things so she’d know she wasn’t alone. Eventually she began talking again. At first just a comment here or there but then there was communication, getting to know each other, small talk eventually becoming deeper topics. He learned of her resentment of the choice she felt was ripped from her, left with no time to mourn the loss of her mortal life or consider the implications on her relationship with Graysen because of it.

Not to mention the shock that one of the faces she blamed for being damned to the cauldron, one of the first faces she saw coming out of it was her mate and she was just supposed to accept it? Over time, Elain became a friend. A bright spot to the numbness created by the self-imposed gap between he and his mate. His mate….

It had taken some time to realize that he wasn’t feeling her through the bond, when was the last time he’d felt her? It was becoming fainter and fainter, more faint than it even should be with distance. He’d send feelings to her on occasion. A little spark of joy when he saw a lovely sunset or the moments when his desire for his mate heated his blood so thoroughly he had no choice but to excuse himself for relief by his hand.

He needed her to know he cared, he desired her, he loved her. A little time and space to collect everything he needed to bring to the surface, to give her all of him. He left her feeling like she wasn’t enough but she was everything. He just needed space.

Until she gave him space.

The devastation on her face the day she asked him to leave. Gods, damn him and the hurtful things he’d said. They’d be ingrained in his mind for the rest of his days along with the sound of her sobs as she fell apart before him. He’d done that to his mate. He was responsible for those tears. All because he’d been too selfish and prideful to share all of himself with her.

So, he left. She’d allowed him so much space, he could give her this.

I wish I could love you and make you believe it. It’s all you ever wanted from me

———-

The night with Elain

He couldn’t make it through dinner sober. Rhys insisted everyone get together at the River House for a friendly night of debauchery. Pouring himself a double shot of whiskey, he considered telling Cassian to send Rhys his regards and hole up in the house of wind for the remainder of the night. It was either, go to dinner and deal with all of the questions of “Where is y/n?” and “Why isn’t y/n here?” or deal with Cassian’s well-intentioned but annoying attempts of pressuring him into going, followed by a pout when he’d stand his ground on staying in, and then the inevitable intrusion from Rhys inquiring why he wouldn’t come to dinner.

He loved his chosen family dearly but they were busybodies through and through. All he wanted was to pass the time until he saw his mate tomorrow.

Begrudgingly he threw back his glass, poured another double, then headed to the River House.

Time moved slowly when all there was to do was dwell.

What had happened? He flew slowly to the River House. Going out of his way to circle far overhead of his true home, where his mate was. Was she waiting for him inside? Was she in town? Why couldn’t he feel her? Silence. Just as it had been for months. But the emotions he’d seen in her, they were so real. Shouldn’t they have sparked something in the bond?

As Azriel approached the River House he’d come to the conclusion that tonight he’d inform Elain he’d no longer be able to visit with her as he had been. He’d neglected his mate for far too long, this past week had given him the clarity needed to go home and give his mate his all. He could slowly open up to her, he could do it.

He just needed to make it through the night.

The night went by as usual. Good food, laughter, flowing liquor. He heavily indulged himself in the liquor anything to numb the impatience in waiting for tomorrow.

Feyre and Rhys sat closely together on a lounge, Feyre leaning into him, staring up at him like the stars in the sky.

Cassian and Nesta spent the entire time making bedroom eyes at one another, Cassian whispering dirty promises into Nesta’s ear that made even the queen of smut herself blush, Nesta taking any opportunity to brush her body against his in passing.

Gods, they were so in love it made him sick.

“Home.” He told himself.

“Soon.”

As the evening wound down, Cassian insisted everyone do shots to close out the evening. He was drunk enough that he stumbled carrying in the tray of shots and let out a battle cry of victory over the fact that he managed to not spill any of the liquor.

Azriel should have flown back to the House of Wind a while ago but he needed to talk to Elain.

Nuala and Cerridwen had been on duty with Nyx for the evening, compensated well to work overnight in case he awoke, giving Rhys and Feyre the now rare opportunity to go out to Rita’s. Mor, of course, drug Emerie along and went with them. Given that Amren would rather stick pins in her eyes than go out, she and Varian opted to go back to her place.

Azriel should have gone there, gone back to the River House, gone home and slept in the doorway until his mate let him in.

But he was so drunk. There was no way he was flying anywhere tonight.

Cassian and Nesta brought out a final round of shots. Elain winced, scrunching her nose as she threw it back. Azriel thought she’d be able to take her liquor better by now. Cassian and Nesta waggled their eyebrows suggestively at eachother before throwing theirs back. And damn, if Azriel didn’t wince when he took his shot too. That shit was awful. Had they drank through all of Rhysand’s good liquor? Did Cassian dig this out from the bottom shelf?

Once Cassian and Nesta left for the House of Wind, Azriel took the empty glasses to the kitchen, cleaning up a few of the remaining dishes throughout the seating area on the way. He barely made it into the kitchen before his head began spinning. That last shot had done him in. He couldn’t even remember the time last he’d been blackout drunk. Two centuries ago, maybe?

He still needed to find Elain.

The stairs felt longer and far less steady than usual, taking him more time than he cared to admit to make it up them. His hands felt tingly on the banister and damn, it was hot in the River House. No, he touched his face, flushed and hot to the touch. He was hot.

The tingling was simultaneously uncomfortable and pleasurable, spreading over his body with haste as he neared closer to Elain’s room.

He caught a glimpse of her and her scent hit him like a ton of bricks. Had she always smelled this good?

His breathing increased, nostrils flaring as he took in her scent and fuck - he was hard. It was too late to not say anything now as she stared at him expectantly. The stars in his vision cleared and all he could see was her, zeroed in on her fluttering pulse, those delicate features.

He needed to leave.

He just needed to - shit, what had he come here to say?

Azriel’s shadows whirled reminding him of his mate. His mate. He needed to go to his mate.

He needed to tell Elain something. He couldn’t think straight.

“Elain…”

And that was when she lunged at him.

Well is it too late, and are you too far to turn around and let me be

——————————

Elain

There was nothing the Cauldron loved more than Elain Archeron.

There was nothing the Cauldron hated more than Elain Archeron.

A thin line between the two, really.

She’d spend the rest of her life groveling for what conspired on that night. She never intended to sleep with him. She never, ever intended to hurt Y/N.

She remembered drinking more than usual.

She remembered Azriel finding her in the hallway.

She remembered a sudden rush of warmth, first from her chest, seeping outward through her extremities, low into her stomach and lower, lower.

She remembered Azriel having something important to tell her. She could feel nothing but heat. Her heart racing, breath becoming rapid.

Azriel’s pupils were blown wide, his nostrils flaring. Like every single sense was hyper aware of her state. His arousal wafted through the air, his irresistible cedar and chilled mist scent clinging to her like an expensive cologne.

They were so very intoxicated.

They couldn’t do this. If she’d been sober and unaffected by whatever was running through her veins, she would have left. Immediately.

She wasn’t one to wreck a home and Azriel loved his mate so, so much. The way he talked about her, it made Elain jealous. Not of them, not of her. Only jealous that Elain herself had struggled so hard to feel anything toward her own mate for so long. Lucien who played a role in her loss of humanity, Lucien who would do anything to make it up to her, Lucien who never meant for it to happen, who tried so hard to help her, to connect with her, who wanted nothing more than to love her. Lucien.

Then why was it Azriel? Azriel who was standing in front of her clearly affected by her, trying his damndest not to be. Why was she so drawn to him? A mated male.

Was she sweating? It was so hot. Her breasts ached and her blood thrummed through her veins so voraciously that she was certain she’d bleed out at any minute. And if Azriel could see beneath her gown right now, he’d see how tightly her thighs were squeezed together. How desperately she needed release and by the tightness in his pants - she knew he was in the same state.

“Elain…” Azriel spoke. His breath ragged.

And all it took was her name rolling off of his lips for her to close the distance. One kiss. She just needed one kiss to remind herself that this was wrong. To run the other way.

And it only took one kiss to remind her how much the cauldron loved her. How much it hated her.

The moment when she felt the mating bond snap between her and Azriel.

The alcohol, the liquor, the heat, the bond. A lethal combination leading to the biggest mistake of her life.

The night she’d fucked Azriel.

She could never let him know about the bond.

—————————-

Elain woke up with a brutal headache. She would have killed for some headache power. Her room was dark, shadows deepening the onyx black of night as slivers of moonlight lined the edges of her curtains. Still nighttime, then.

Her surroundings slowly came into focus, awareness sharpening as a soft sound caught her attention. Swiftly she turned her head to find Azriel asleep on the other side of her bed.

Oh no.

Oh no, no, no, no, no.

This couldn’t have happened.

What had she done?

She threw on her dress and tip-toed out of the room in a state of panic. She was a sensible female. She knew too well the pain of losing Graysen, a human male, not her spouse, not her mate. But still, his rejection had hurt like hell. Elain would never sleep with another woman- female’s mate. No.

She paced through the library, back and forth, back and forth, praying she didn’t wake anyone up. The walls were closing in on her. This couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be.

Oh gods.

And the mating bond. How?

Her chest was tight, she couldn’t catch a full breath. She needed out.

Before she could stop herself, Elain fled into the empty street with no destination in mind. Anywhere but here, anywhere but the bed where she’d likely obliterated a marriage. She’d certainly obliterated her dignity.

The starlight illuminated streets of Velaris were endless, winding through alleys and lanes. In her panicked state, Elain had no clue where her feet were taking her as she blindly followed her gut. It wasn’t until she was in front of the door that she realized her heart had made its choice. It knew exactly who to go to, she only prayed it wasn’t too late.

She took a shaky inhale and raised a hand to knock but the door flew open revealing a shirtless Lucien, his bare, muscled chest heaving. “I felt you coming.” He gasped. “Through the bond.”

—————-

Azriel

The sun’s rays illuminated the edge of the curtains. Azriel’s stomach was tight, nausea from the previous night’s alcohol overwhelming him. His bed felt colder than usual, more stiff.

He looked around to find that he’d never left the River House. He was…

He was in Elain’s room.

“Oh, fuck!” He sobbed to himself as the previous night came pouring back to him. Setting his face in his palms, he cried. What the fuck had he done?

Azriel bathed, desperately scrubbing Elain off of him. By the time he was through, his skin was an angry red. He snuck out of the River House, flying to a grassy knoll high above Velaris. The spot where he and Y/N had first made love, where the bond snapped, where he’d proposed. He shifted uncomfortably as he tried to get comfortable, the unease settling in. It was blasphemy to desecrate such a sacred spot with his shame.

“What do I do now?” He asked aloud, the only response the whipping of the wind around him. He didn’t understand what had overcome him. He’d never been so “effected” before, even in his drunkest moments. Once Elain’s lips met his, his brain had shut down, nothing else mattered but the feel of skin on skin. His body needed release and acted on pure primal instinct.

And now, he had a decision to make. He could go home and lay it all out, slightly easing the guilt of holding in his greatest sin while completely and utterly destroying his mate.

Or, he could go home. Show his mate all of the love that he had been withholding for too long now, sweep her off her feet, take care of her and start opening up. Give her his all, even the ugly parts that he kept so deeply hidden.

Gods, she’d given him so many chances and he’d let her down at every turn. There were no excuses for the way he had treated her.

All she’d ever wanted was him, all of him, including those sides he’d never wanted her to see.

Now he could only go home and love her. Love her with everything he had and pray she believed it.

———————-

6 months after Y/N left

Azriel looked in a hallway mirror on his way to Rhysand’s study. Dark circles hallowed out his under eyes. The drink he’d had prior to flying down here did nothing to numb the violent ache within his heart. Would it ever quell? Would this puncture wound ever heal?

It wouldn’t. And he didn’t know if he wanted it to. He was a bastard and deserved every ounce of this isolated misery. Trapped in a prison of his own making. The ache in his chest a constant reminder of the love he’d squandered. And for what? A meaningless night with a pretty female. Had he not had enough of those nights in his life?

Not that Elain would speak to him. Though she had apologized, countless times. It didn’t matter. As far as he was concerned, he was the only one to blame. Occasionally he’d catch Lucien’s assessing glare, an infuriating blend of contempt and pity etched into his features. Azriel didn’t know which he hated more, he didn’t deserve pity.

Azriel’s skin had sallowed. Had he ever been this pale before? And the bargain tattoo on his arm. Fuck, he hated it. After his third attempt to infiltrate the Summer Court, Rhysand gave Azriel the option of a cell in the Hewn City or a bargain.

Ironically the bargain served as a prison of its own. He was not allowed to go anywhere near the Summer Court or communicate with Y/N in any way. The only method of communication he was able to find a loophole with was the tugs on the bond. He’d pull and pull, nothing.

If only he could try to explain, apologize, anything.

Breaking his gaze from the shell of a male in the mirror, Azriel stepped toward the study.

Cassian’s booming laugh barreled through the cracked open door.

“Trust me, Feyre will love it. I’m sure you guys could use a little spark at the end of the day. You’ll be rolling in the sheets all night.”

Rhys only chuckled.

Cassian continued, “Tastes nasty as hell though. Here’s an extra vial, just in case. The first time Nes and I tried it, it didn’t work. Not sure why.”

Azriel let out a huff, stepping into the study. Cassian and Rhys ceasing their conversation in his presence. They’d been painstakingly obvious in not talking about their mates or anything relationship related in front of him since his mate had left. He refused to speak to anyone about why she left, too embarrassed to admit to this bed of his own making. They knew it was his fault and that was all that mattered.

Azriel scowled. “You don’t have to stop talking about your mates just because I’m around.”

Cassian awkwardly raised his arm, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry brother. We just don’t want to make things harder for you than they have been.”

“Considerate.” Azriel sneered, jerking his head toward the vials. “What are those anyway?”

Cassian smirked, “Oh, just some aphrodisiac potions from a new apothecary in Velaris. Really powerful shit. Nes and I-“ Rhys elbowed Cassian. A warning to not take the conversation too far. They could talk of their happy relationships without absolutely rubbing Azriel’s face in it.

Cassian quieted for a moment before continuing. “It tastes gods awful but the payoff is totally worth it. Remember those shots we took after everyone left dinner several months ago? We mixed it into Nes and I’s glasses and didn’t notice the taste. Didn’t work either though. Must’ve been a dud. Lady at the shop gave us a replacement vial the next time we were in and…. well, let’s just say we keep it in stock at the House of Wind now.”

Azriel went preternaturally still. His shadows growing angry as he ground out, “The night you two did a parting shot with me and Elain?”

“Uh…… yeah?” Cassian replied.

And before Cassian could realize what he’d done, Azriel pummeled him. Hauling him out the study doors and onto the lawn, not even making it to the sparring ring before his fists met Cassian’s face - the two Illyrians disappearing into a frenzy of fists and feet and glowing siphons.

The only sound over the impact of their hits and feral growls was Cassian’s confused, booming voice. “What the FUCK, Az!?”

————————————————

A/N: I am sorry for giving you an entire chapter of Azriel and Elain content but I will make it up to you with fluffy Eris and reader content in the next chapter!!!

@going-through-shit @kalulakunundrum @lisanna2000 @fxckmiup @sheblogs @emryb @one-big-fangirl @historygeekqueen @isa1b2h3 @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @theravenphoenix26 @sidthedollface2 @i-am-infinite @caraaaaugh @evergreenlark @darkbloodsly @piceous21 @anxious-study @chessebookgirl @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @crazylokonugget @mysticalfuncollectorus @starsinyourseyes @b0xerdancer-writes @inloveallthetime

[badkitty3000]

Weak

Even Five Hargreeves is no stranger to temptation. He tries so hard to stay away. He wants to do the right thing for once in his life. If not for himself, then for her. But every man has his breaking point.

Five Hargreeves x Reader Smut

This one shot is an accompaniment to my other work "Addicted". This can be read on its own, but is a different side of the story, as told from Five's point of view.

My Master List Of Number Five Fanfiction

Weak:

I never meant to take it this far. I never meant to be cruel. That’s not who I am, or at least I didn’t think I was. I also thought I was strong and had will power. But I guess I was wrong about that, too. Because as much as I try to stay away, I don’t.

I know who I am and what I’m made of. The terrible things I’ve done. That’s not a secret and I’ve never lied to myself about that. My morals can’t even be called a gray area anymore; they’re more like an indistinct blur. But in this one tiny part of my soul, I was trying to be better. For her, at least.

I have failed miserably.

She knows what I am. When things got too comfortable and too familiar, I told her as a way to push her away and to scare her. It didn’t work, though. In fact, it had the opposite effect. She fucking loved it…and I didn’t know how to say no to that.

How could I say no when she was tearing at my clothes, practically panting with desire, and shoving her hand down my pants? All over a bloody stain on a shirt collar and the feel of my Glock against her skin. I’m sure there’s a way to resist that, but fuck if I know what it is. I’m not smart enough or strong enough to figure that one out.

I don’t particularly like all of the killing. But I’m pretty fucking good at it and someone has to do it, I suppose. I certainly never considered it sexy in any way. Then, after that first time, when she begged me to tell her all of the gruesome details, and I watched her skin start to flush and her pupils dilate…well, fuck, that put a new spin on everything.

I still don’t like it, that part hasn’t changed. I get no pleasure from pulling that trigger and watching their skull break open like a fucking pinata, spraying the contents of their brains all over the floor like the world’s worst party game. Now, however, there is a sick little spark that will ignite in me after it’s done. Because I know how it will turn her on.

And, fuck, I am weak.

That’s what this all boils down to. Weakness. For most people that meet me or know me in any way, weak is probably the last word they would use to describe me. Cold; bitter; sarcastic; asshole. Those adjectives are much more likely to be used. But weak? Doubtful.

I know the truth, though. Deep down, that is what I am. Because when you continue to break someone’s heart time and time again, just because you can’t control your own basic urges…that’s weakness. Pure and simple.

She has told me how much I’ve hurt her, and how much I am ruining her life. She has screamed and cried and told me all of the things I know I deserve to hear. She has called me an asshole more times than I can remember, and I have never disputed it. So, I stay away, like I know I should. Until she inevitably calls again. And I slip right back into it without another thought. Like the absolute fucking bastard that I am.

Weak.

Because even though I know it’s wrong and I’m slowly poisoning her with my selfishness, each time I think maybe it will be different. Maybe this time will be the time when I stay. When I will finally be the person I should be and really want to be.

All the way up until the early morning, I will convince myself that this is it. I’ve finally seen the light and I can be the man she deserves; it will be so easy. Because when it’s just the two of us, in our own little cocoon, hidden away from the outside world, the idea is magical. I would give anything to stay there, tucked away, fucking like animals until we’re both too exhausted to talk anymore. I want to stay there and listen to her voice, and her laugh, and feel her hands on my touch-starved body. And I think, yes, this is it. This is what I want.

Then morning comes and the spell is broken.

Once that first peek of dawn starts to light up the sky, all of my anxieties come rushing back, and I remember why I can’t stay. Morning brings back the real world, and with it all of its problems.

I will freeze up, practically paralyzed with fear, as she sleeps next to me, an arm draped over my chest. I will remember what kind of person I really am, and how that just doesn’t translate to boyfriend material. And it’s not just the little fact that I am a hired assassin, although that does put a slight snag in any future meetings with parents and the like.

It’s the mixing bowl of fucked up thoughts and feelings and history that lives inside my brain. Guilt. Regret. Sadness. Rage. Take your pick, none of them are great. And I can mask them for a night or two, while I’m pretending to be someone I’m not. But they will come back again, and that’s just not something anyone needs. Especially someone you care about.

So, I do the worst, shittiest thing in the world, and leave while she’s asleep. No kiss goodbye. No note. Not even a quick morning fuck. I grab my shit and leave in a flash of blue light, like the weak coward I am. Can’t even bother to use the god damn door.

I will stay away after that. At least for a while. I will ignore the incoming texts and voice mails that sometimes will follow, and sometimes don’t. I’ll pretend I don’t care about the lectures and pleas and rightly-deserved insults. But I do care. And that’s why I won’t answer.

A month might go past, maybe more. Just enough time for me to start thinking she really is done with me. Then the call will come through, late at night, and I won’t ignore it. Because, as we’ve determined…I am weak.

She is the only one, although I’ve never told her that and I bet she thinks she’s not. I’m not interested in anyone else. I don’t need anyone else. And when she stops calling for good, which one day I know will happen, that will be it. It’s either her or nobody. And it’s barely even her.

Our paths almost never cross outside of our little midnight meetings. After that first night when all of this started, I’ve never seen her anywhere else besides her apartment. I assume it’s because the types of bars and clubs I frequent are not anywhere a normal, sane person would want to spend their free evenings. But tonight, as fate would have it, I do see her. After I grab my drink off the cracked and peeling bar top and turn to look at the room behind me, I see her. And she’s not alone.

With my glass half way to my mouth, our eyes meet, and for a second neither of us move. It’s not a big place, so we aren’t that far away from one another. But it’s loud and crowded, and the guy is leaning in close to her ear, talking loudly to be heard over the constant bass thumping through the shitty speakers on the walls. Who the fuck is this guy?

It’s not fair, I know that. Believe me, I know that. And I try to give myself a stern talking-to inside my head. She is not yours. Not even remotely. You are an asshole and she deserves better. Leave her the fuck alone.

I take a drink. And then I see his hand disappear under the table, and I can see everything from where I’m standing. He’s squeezing her thigh, leaving his hand there to rest on her leg, rubbing his thumb across the bare skin that isn’t covered by her short skirt. A skirt I know I’ve had my face under before.

Fuck. I hate this guy.

In the thirty seconds that it takes for all of this to happen, she is watching me. Reading me. A faint smile plays on her lips and I know I’m caught. My thoughts must be written all over my face like a fucking billboard, and it’s too late to pretend I haven’t seen or that I don’t care. She’s got me.

If I were stronger, or a better person, I would leave. Pay my tab, collect my coat, and get the fuck out of there without another glance in her direction. Leave her be. Let her live her fucking life. But I am not. And I’m pissed.

My first instinct is to reach behind me, grab the Glock that’s hidden in the waistband of my pants and covered up by my suit jacket, and take care of this asshole right then and there. That would probably be the nicer thing to do, honestly. Then she’d finally see what a fucking psycho I am and that would end things once and for all. But I’m also not that stupid. Or that nice.

Instead, I stay and watch. I let her see me watching, too. I lean with my back against the bar, casually sipping my drink, and my eyes never leave her. I want her to know, even if it makes me more of a giant dick than I already am. I want her to know I am not pleased.

I have no idea who this guy is, and I don’t care. Maybe it’s their first date; maybe it’s their tenth. It doesn’t matter, I want him dead. And now that she knows that, because it’s pretty fucking obvious by the way I’m coiled like a cobra ready to strike right now, it’s quickly become a game. If she had feelings for him before, that seems to have been forgotten now. Because everything she is doing is for me.

Her eyes leave mine and she returns to what I can only imagine is a very dull conversation with the Neanderthal sitting next to her. She smiles and laughs, and moves her leg closer to his so that they are touching. She reaches up and fixes his hair, tucking a stray piece of it over his ear. She rests her chin on her hand and stares at him like he’s the most interesting person she’s ever encountered. And he’s eating this shit up; kicking his game up a notch with even more inane talk and rubbing her thigh up and down with his whole hand. He thinks she’s into him. Fucking dumbass.

That’s the only thing keeping me slightly calm at the moment. Knowing it’s all a play. She is a really good actress, I’ll give her that, but I’ve paid more attention to her than she realizes. I know her tells. I know the difference between her fake laugh and her real one. I can tell when she’s actively engaged in the conversation or she is just waiting for you to shut up. I know how she touches her face when she’s nervous and I know what she looks like when she wants to fuck you.

And, buddy…I got bad news for you.

The corner of my mouth lifts in an arrogant smirk as I take another drink. I shouldn’t be proud of this; I should be appalled. How dare I think I have any right to any of her little traits and quirks? I haven’t earned that. That kind of thing is reserved for boyfriends and husbands and people that can stand to stick around for more than a few hours.

When she runs her tongue over her lips in an obvious gesture meant only for me, I actually laugh out loud. Fuck, she knows what she’s doing. And it’s one hundred percent working.

As I order my second drink, feeling the calming buzz of the booze fill my brain, I start to care less and less. I don’t care if this is not fair. I don’t care that I’m being a complete and utter shit head. I don’t care if I’m weak. I’ll deal with all of that later.

I take out my phone and type out a quick text.

Enjoying yourself?

I watch as she glances to her phone on the table as it lights up. She picks it up, angling it away from Caveman Cliff, and reads it. It’s subtle, but I saw it. A brief twitch of her mouth and a quick flit of her eyes in my direction. I see her type out a quick reply and then she is back to him, completely enrapt in his droning.

Immensely, thank you

Not able to resist, I counter with:

Even I can tell from way over here that your panties are as dry as the desert

She holds in a smile as she responds back.

Too bad you’re not going to find out

Honey, if that pussy of yours is even slightly wet, it’s only because you’re thinking of me bending you over that table you’re sitting at right now

I see her legs shift and she crosses one over the other, squeezing them together as a faint blush covers her cheeks.

And why would I be thinking that?

Because that dipshit you’re with isn’t going to give you what I know you want

I watch as she swallows and then glances at the idiot to her left that is oblivious to all of this, the poor bastard. Her response is short.

Fuck you

She puts her phone away to end this exchange, but I see the small smile she is trying to hide and the way she touches her hand to her face. I can see her chest expand as she sucks in a deep breath, biting at the inside of her cheek.

I give a short snort of satisfaction and put my phone back in my inside jacket pocket. I got what I wanted. I throw back the rest of my drink, leave a few dollars for a tip, and head for the door without another look in her direction. But I know she saw me leave.

As I wait there in the dark, I think about how awful I’m being; what a shit bag move this is. I’m using her, that’s what it boils down to. Using her for her warmth and her openness, and to temporarily calm my mind. Also, for her body and her touch. She sees something in me that isn’t there; or at least something I can’t see. But I can’t or won’t give her what she needs, and I’m also not letting her move on.

Fuck, I’m an asshole.

I hear their voices coming down the hall, the rattle of keys in her hand. As they near the door, I can hear her made up excuses. She’s tired; she had too much to drink; she has a headache. Maybe next time. She’ll call him tomorrow. Then she slips inside her darkened apartment and the door closes behind her.

I’m on her before she has a chance to turn the light on, pressing her against the door as she drops her keys on the floor. Since I’ve been waiting, the anticipation has already made me fully hard and I push my groin into her while I circle my hand lightly around her neck.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart? No love connection tonight?” I growl next to her ear.

She never even screams or fights back. She knew I would be there. But her hands grab my forearm and I hear her suck in a loud breath.

“I never knew you were the jealous type,” she smarts back.

 “Only when I see someone try to take what’s mine,” I hiss hotly against her neck, drawing my lips and then my tongue across her skin.

“I’m not your fucking property,” she snarls, but I can hear the break in her voice and she swallows hard against my hand.

I laugh cynically. “Well, then I can go and you can let him fuck you instead. Is that what you want?”

There’s a long pause and it’s just our loud breathing in the dark of the room. Then I feel her head move slowly from side to side.

“No,” she whispers.

As I crash my mouth onto hers, my hands in her hair and on her face, and down to her tits, she is reaching for the front of my pants. I had already removed my jacket and belt when I got there, as well as the pistol that I always carry with me. Our little act back at the bar was already enough foreplay and our bodies are screaming for each other.

Our hands can’t work fast enough as she is shoving my pants down my legs and tearing my shirt open while I rip her top off and yank her skirt up. My fingers are already pushing her panties to the side and entering her, sliding right in with no resistance.

I smile proudly against her neck. “I knew you were wet for me.”

As she moans and throws her head back, she is reaching down to stroke my cock, her warm hand tight and firm as she drags it slowly over my shaft.

My hips are already jerking into her and I want to be inside of her so badly I can’t think straight.

“Get these panties off so I can fuck you,” I snarl.

I pull my fingers out, pushing her underwear down roughly and she quickly steps out of them. With one pull of her hips into me, her arms clutching tightly to my shoulders, I lift her up and start fucking her against the door.

I tip my head back and groan loudly as she whines and pulls her legs tighter around my waist.

“Can he make you feel this good?” I ask between clenched teeth as I ram into her harder and the door rattles in its frame.

“No!” she cries out.

“Do you think about him when you’re alone and fingering yourself?”

Her moans are punctuated by the slamming of my body against hers and her fingers press deeper into my skin.

“No,” she breathes out. “No.”

“You think about me, don’t you?” I say with a sneer. When she doesn’t answer fast enough, I ask again, louder. “Don’t you?”

“Yes,” she whimpers pitifully, her nails digging sharply into my shoulder blades.

I can’t believe what I’m saying and what I’m doing. But she’s loving it and so I continue.

“I’m going to fuck you until you forget all about him, and then I’m going to fuck you some more. And if I ever see you with him again, I will kill him.”

“You wanted to kill him, didn’t you?” she asks, and that knowing smile starts to form as she closes her eyes and bites her lip. “When you saw him with me?”

“Fuck yes I did,” I groan loudly into her neck.

She’s almost there, I can tell. So am I, but I’m going to make her finish first. I pick up the pace, thrusting into her as hard as I can, her back and head slamming against the door, my fingers digging deeper into the flesh of her thighs and ass. I’m practically ripping into the side of her neck, latching on with my mouth and teeth, desperate to mark her as my own.

I listen as she repeats my name over and over in gasps and moans and I can’t hold back anymore.

“That’s it, sweetheart. You are all mine.”

She is falling apart in my arms, violently shaking against me as I penetrate her one last time, letting out a loud, guttural moan. I’m as deep inside of her as I can be, and I fill her up with so much cum, I know it will start sliding out; dripping down her legs and onto the floor. Somewhere deep inside, in the primordial part of my brain, I take satisfaction in knowing that it’s my seed, and only mine, that is coating her insides.

Once the last spasm has left my body, I let her down and she falls back against the door, breathing hard. Her bra is still on, but the straps have fallen down, and her skirt is bunched up around her waist. I look at the painful looking purple bruise I left on her neck, which is large enough and obvious enough that she won’t be able to cover it. Her eye makeup is smeared and her lips are swollen and red. She looks completely ravished. And then she starts to cry.

It’s because of me, I know it is. Because of the things I said and the things I did, and the way I needed her so desperately. She had been trying to break away from me and I reeled her back in. And I did it knowingly and deliberately, just to feed my ego and maybe not feel so alone. I could have found anyone for that. But, like the prick I am, I only wanted her.

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, my lungs still working hard to get air in and out.

She just nods silently, wiping her face with her hand, and pulls down her skirt. She picks her shirt and underwear off the floor and heads to the bathroom without a word. I’m left standing there with a softening dick and my pants around my ankles.

Fuck.

I could leave now, while she’s in there, and maybe I should. That feels wrong, though. But then again, so does staying. I feel like shit and I’m so full of shame that I want to punch my fist through the wall. Instead, I zip my pants back up and walk over to her couch to wait. I turn on the table lamp and even though it’s dim, it feels blaringly bright and I have to squint my eyes.

When she comes out, she has changed into some soft shorts and a t-shirt. Her face is cleaned up and I assume her thighs and the area between them are too. She is no longer crying, but I can still see the tell-tale signs of red-rimmed eyes and flushed cheeks. I’m surprised when she comes and sits down next to me, laying her head on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” I say again, because I can’t think of anything better to say.

“I know. Me too,” she says and she leans her body against mine.

She has nothing to be sorry for and I’m not sure what to do, so I put my arm around her and hug her to me. I kiss her forehead and she closes her eyes. I don’t know why she’s letting me do this, but it feels good and I like it. Just like every other time, I tell myself that maybe this time will be different. I can do this; I can be that person. I don’t want to be that other jealous, callous, hurtful person. I don’t want to be the asshole.

“Just don’t go yet, ok?” she says quietly with her cheek resting against my chest.

I smooth her hair and run my hand down her back. I don’t want to go. She feels good and warm and soft against my tension-filled body. She feels right. I want to tell her all of that, too. I want to say I’m sorry a million times over and beg for her forgiveness. I want to wake up with her next to me every day.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” I murmur into her hair as I brush my chin across the top of her head.

“Don’t do that,” she pleads, her voice soft. “Please.”

I decide I’m going to tell her how I really feel. Before the night is over, I’ll come clean. And then I’ll stay. If she’ll still have me.

“You are, though. I mean it.”

She doesn’t respond, but sighs and nestles in, holding me around my waist. Fuck, I have craved this. More than the dirty talk and the biting and the ferocious fucking. I want this. I want her. And I’m going to tell her.

The rest of the night goes by in a blur. It’s there, on the tip of my tongue the whole time. All I have to do is say it. But I don’t.

We fuck again, rough and hard, on the couch and on the floor. I leave more marks on her chest, branding her as my own. I tell her she’s mine, and I make her scream my name again, but I don’t say what I really mean.

We fuck in her bed, while we’re both tired and slightly drunk. I pump lazily into her while she lies underneath me and moans softly. I kiss her lips and tell her how gorgeous she is, and it’s not a lie because she is. I worship her body, running my tongue over every part of it, tasting her skin and her delicious arousal. I can taste my own cum as I lick into her soft folds and inside her pussy that’s been stretched and abused by my cock several times over.

There are so many opportunities and I don’t take any of them. I let her fold her body into mine as I hold her in the dark and I can say it right now. It would be easy and it would be the truth.

I want to be with you.

I want to be yours.

I want you to be mine and mine alone.

I want to stay.

But I am weak, and so I don’t.

She sleeps against me and I listen to her rhythmic breathing while I lie there wide awake. I think about all of the things I should have said. Everything I should have done and should not have done. I hate myself for all of it.

When the sun creeps in, and the faintest light is leaking through the curtains and cutting through the safety of the darkness, it all comes crashing back. I remember why I can’t stay and why those words just wouldn’t come out. The reality of the real world is glaringly obvious in the light of day and I remember all of it.

The real world is filled with everyday things like jobs and homes and bills to pay. Coworkers and families that want to meet you. Graduation and birthday parties. Movie and dinner dates, holidays and vacations. Marriage. Children. Normalcy.

There’s just no way any of that would work. I can’t fit into that life, even though I want to. I think of all of the things holding me back and they keep piling up until they are crushing me and I feel like I can’t breathe.

I am an assassin. A killer. A murderer. I have seen the end of the world and survived the most horrific things. I have PTSD and crippling anxiety. There are nightmares and paranoia and episodes of manic rage. I am old and I am tired. There is nothing left of me and nothing left to give. I am not meant for normalcy.

As I slowly remove her arm from across my chest, she stirs but she doesn’t wake. I take a moment to look at her. Her mind isn’t betraying her with vivid dreams of the world collapsing around her in a fiery blaze or sprays of bullets piercing her body. She is at peace and I am envious of that.

I am not good for her, I know that. I need to go and stay gone. She deserves stability and happiness and a million other things I cannot give her. So, I will be the asshole that leaves in the morning before she wakes, just like I always do. She will hate me and curse me and cry for me. And I will stay away this time. I have to.

I chance it by leaning in and brushing my lips across her forehead. Her face wrinkles up and then relaxes again, but she doesn’t wake. I slip out of the bed and out of the room, following the trail of discarded clothes and put them back on one by one. Then I am gone in the same flash of light that allowed me to enter there in the first place. A convenient exit that I have misused way too many times.

Outside, the sun is bright and the world is waking up. I can feel my resolve growing stronger as the new day builds. That was it, I am done. It was awful and I shouldn’t have done it, but it’s over now and I will not be repeating it. I am a pillar of inner strength. That was the last time and she is finally free of me. I am doing the right thing.

My strength is impressive, both inside and out. But it is not impenetrable, especially when darkness falls and the world around me grows quiet. When I am alone with nothing but my thoughts, and I just need to feel something good again.

Everyone has a weakness.   

[peachenle]

captain’s log

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

genre: college!au | fratboy!au | sexual themes (minors DNI)

word count: 8.7k

warnings: lots of drinking, profanity, a tiny bit of sexual content, suggestive language, sunghoon biceps,  y/n is a serial party-goer, fake frats, lots of semi-unhumorous banter, ft le sserafim bc i needed more characters

༄࿔˚✧ synopsis: “If you’re trying to be subtle about checking me out, it’s really not working.” You were too drunk to care, and met his eyes, “Yeah, yeah you caught me. Life’s more fun without subtlety.”

The captain's log is a form of record-keeping used by sailors to keep track of incidents, such as weather, ship sightings, and any other information about the vessel and her passengers.

CAPTAIN’S LOG ENTRY 11:30 pm please I beg of a crumb of pussy

read the continuation of captain’s log here.

It took you approximately 46 seconds to sober up after the first whoop of the sirens outside the house. Red and blue lights peeked through the cardboard panels that were haphazardly stuck in between the blinds of the windows. From the continuing booming music, the thundering steps of the dance floor, and the bumping bodies, you realized you were one of very few to realize that the party was getting rolled. And you did not want to be caught in the mess of policemen shining flashlights into mascara stained faces.

You dragged your friend Yunjin out from the middle of the dance floor, much to her disappointment as she was swaying with one of the execs in the fraternity, and snuck onto the back porch. You two stumbled into a few couples who also had their fun interrupted by the sirens. Yunjin peeked around the side of the house and groaned, “It’s always the NKT parties that get shut down so early. Heeseung and I were finally dancing!”

Seeing her pouty face, you laughed, “And he’s literally the only reason we keep coming back. Their good music cannot justify the sins that occur in that household.” While NKT had some of the wildest hazing stories, their alumni donated well to your university, so it was easy to overlook.

You and Yunjin were crouched by a bush in the house’s side yard. She whispered, “Liar, you were so into President Jeno before…”

You snickered and responded, “Okay, and I still am, but he never comes to parties anymore. Plus, you did not just call him president.”

She laughed. “That’s who he is!”

The music shut off abruptly and you rolled your eyes after hearing screams from the partygoers. That meant most of the officers were likely already in the house yelling at kids to leave, so you and Yunjin quietly went through the side fence of the house to make it into the street.

Frat row wasn’t too far from your shared dorm with Yunjin, so you two opted to trudge through the neighborhood in your short skirts rather than call a taxi. It wasn’t until your head hit the pillow that you realized you were still very drunk. The you of tomorrow morning would not be happy. 

Parties weren’t your thing until Yunjin joined a sorority this year and dragged you to come to a few, and you realized just how fun it was to be the messy one for once. You thought this was her way of trying to lull you into her sisterhood, and whether it actually was or not, you didn’t mind. It was funny to watch the unknowing first year frat pledges hit you with all sorts of philanthropy collab ideas at parties after you lied and introduced yourself as the president or outreach chair of some random sorority.

The next day, a Friday, you woke up with a throbbing migraine and with leftover eyeliner smudged on your pillow. You definitely missed your 10 am tutorial. Much to your surprise, you found Yunjin already awake, typing away at her desk, equipped with a sheet mask. She, too, missed her morning class.

After you returned from a shower, you called out to your roommate, “Wanna hit the dining hall for-” you looked at the clock, showing a valid 12:11pm at this point “-for lunch?”

Yunjin did not bother to look away from her laptop, “Can’t! But can you get me a sandwich or something? I have this killer paper due and I need to finish it before we go out tomorrow.”

You stared at her blankly, not that she would be able to see it, “What do you mean go out? Again?”

She stopped, “Why are you acting surprised?”

“I just assumed you’d want to go out with your sisters or something.”

“You know I prefer you,” she pointed a finger gun at you dramatically, “and you can’t admit that to anyone or else we’d both die. Also, this is a homecoming party of a frat house neither of us have been to yet! I don’t want to miss out.” 

You thought about the long week ahead of you as you shoveled food onto your plate. You forgot to ask where Yunjin was planning on taking you, but it mattered less in comparison to the assignments you wanted to get ahead on before the weekend’s festivities took you completely. While you were wrapping up a sandwich and some food for Yunjin, as if on cue, she texted you.

you remember that Heeseung is in the hockey club right? he just invited us to a party at their house tonight … come thru?

“I think you have a problem, another weekend like this and you’re going to have to pay for my liver transplant,” you said to Yunjin when you returned.

She stuck her tongue at you and threw a crop top your way, “Take this as a gift in return for the food! And you’ll be wearing it tonight, thank you very much.”

---

Midterm season was upon you and with the addition of a frat-not-frat sanctioned event courtesy of Yunjin, you needed to get as much work done as possible. You made a deal with yourself that you’d complete at least one of two of your pending report papers, otherwise, no new frat homecoming party tomorrow.

You managed to find a table by the south side windows of the science library, and laid out your necessary notebook and textbook for the treacherous anthropology report you were about to bullshit the hell out of. Two hours into your frantic typing and at least 30 Google tabs later, you realized that one of the sources you wanted to use was locked online, and all the “legal” databases to surpass the paywall didn't have it available. Upon closer inspection, the source’s website indicated that it was available at certain universities, including yours.

You decided to take a break from typing. Your lingering hangover and the eye strain from your laptop screen were begging for a rest. So you cleaned your table and went to find someone to help you find the book you needed.

There was a crowd of 4 boys around the circulation desk, cackling over things unknown to you, and definitely distracting the boy working at the counter. They were exuding mischief, one of them trying to reach over to clack on a computer, and you recognized the one of them, Jake, jumping to sit on top of the counter. You stood in line, scrolling through your phone as you waited to be called to get help.

The areas of the library where the IT and circ desk were not necessarily meant to be quiet places, but you were surprised the group of boys didn’t get scolded considering how they were holding up the line.

A student walked by and shushed the group, interrupting them as they were doing their best to ruffle the boy’s hair over the counter. They scoffed at the passerby, but lowered their voices. You took this as an opportunity to clear your throat, finally grabbing the attention of the circ desk worker. He offered you a sheepish smile and shooed away his friends. The boy was about a head taller than you, sporting a black distressed long sleeve and now haphazardly messy hair. 

“Oh, sorry babe - didn’t see you there,” snickered one of the boys. He had sharp features and a confident smirk. The group stepped backward to let you through to the counter.

The boy behind the counter shot the other guy a glare after that comment and ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry about my friends; how can I help you?” 

You fought the urge to roll your eyes and shoot a glare yourself, choosing to ignore the group. “Seems like you're new here or something. They seem to be excited to visit you.” You glanced pointedly, as two of the guys had their phones out, likely taking a picture of their friend.

The boy extended a hand out to try to cover his exasperated face from their photos.

You continued, holding up your phone to reveal a screenshot from the library website, “Wondering if this book was still available?” The boy squinted and nodded silently, typing away on his computer to look it up.

“Yeah, it is. We have one copy on the 4th floor. Are you familiar with how the books are sorted here?”

“Honestly no, I usually use stuff online, so this would be the first time I check out something from the library.”

The boy smiled in understanding, then glanced between you, his friends - now distracted by a couple girls you recognized from Yunjin’s sorority, and the empty line behind you. “I can help you find it, if you’d like?”

You gave him a small smile, “Yes, that’d be really helpful.” 

“Sunghoon, by the way. And you were right, it's technically my first day off of training,” he said as he met you on the other side of the counter, by the elevators. Seeing him up close, there was no point in denying that he was cute, especially with the furrow in his brow he wore due to the thought of his friends. His friend group were still talking to the girls, one of them with an arm shamelessly around one of their waists. Sunghoon looked exhausted, but amused, just looking at them.

You laughed as you introduced yourself too. “Don’t worry, I get it. My roommate ate at my old part-time job every day I was working for the first month. Just try not to let them get you fired,” you advised jokingly.

The conversation between Sunghoon and you flowed smoothly. Over hushed whispers through the library shelves, you learned he transferred to your university that semester, and was studying Kinesiology. 

“It’s kind of a jock major, I was surprised,” he muttered as he ran his fingers over the spines of some books, turning his head sideways to read the titles.

You frowned, “Why? You don’t play sports?”

“It’s not that, I just wasn’t expecting to have to take activity classes. It’s like high school P.E. all over again.” 

Even though he was matching the library volume, Sunghoon was soft spoken, and he was funny without trying. You explained how you were studying Human Biology with a minor in anthropology, and he picked at your brain about the paper you were writing.

“No, Sunghoon, sociology and anthro are not the same.”

He was quiet for a moment. “Wait really? I took a socio class before and it’s literally what you’re describing.”

“I think you should stick to your kines classes.”

Sunghoon hummed. “We’d probably take some physio classes together, I reckon?” He suggested, realizing the science similarities in your degrees.

“Oh! Yeah, you’re right.” Judging on how well you two were talking even in this short amount of time, you added, “Maybe we can study together or something.”

A pause.

Sunghoon was distracted, squinted behind you at something. You bit your lip to try to ignore the disappointed pang in your chest and your internal facepalm for trying to make a pass at the cute boy from the circ desk. Following his gaze, you realized that he had found the book you two were looking for.

Your mild small talk continued during the walk back to the circ desk, and you exchanged goodbyes after he assisted in checking out the book for you, his group of friends no longer in sight.

“Hope I’ll see you around,” Sunghoon waved.

You spent the rest of the afternoon holed up at your desk in your dorm room, typing, flipping through pages, and blasting audible adderall playlists out loud. And from the corner of your eye, you could see that Yunjin was doing the exact same.

The two of you finished around the same time, and decided to bring food from the dining hall into your dorm to eat while you and a couple of Yunjin’s sisters pregamed for the night. You decided to omit your encounter with a cute boy in the library while you guys were discussing your afternoons.

Yunjin was laughing, “We were literally so crazy, rapid fire typing next to each other while Y/N’s stupid Mario Kart songs were playing.”

Mouth full with pizza, you argued, “Don’t act like that music didn’t help us finish our papers. This could’ve been avoided, but you want to drink at every opportunity possible.”

She mocked your tone, “Don’t act like you don’t feel the same!”

The other girls, Chaewon and Kazuha, giggled at your dynamic, and poured everyone another round of shots.

---

The hockey club was basically a fraternity of its own, Chaewon explained to you as you all arrived, just less exclusive. It was a place for brothers in different frats to have their own camaraderie between each other, and their parties were open to anyone. You could feel the vibrations of the music’s bass in your ribcage.

As you three pushed through the crowd into the kitchen, Yunjin off to find Heeseung, Kazuha pitched in, “I heard one of the players that just graduated agreed to supply all the alc tonight.” You stared at the tubs of jungle juice and the tens of lingering bottles on the back counter. Even the sink was filled with beers and seltzers.

“He must be fucking rich,” Chaewon yelled over the music.

“Mark definitely comes from a wealthy family,” shouted a voice next to you. You turned and realized it was a boy from the library, one of Sunghoon’s friends. He smiled, and leaned in closer to make sure you heard each other, “Library, right?”

You did your best to ignore the two piercing stares behind your head from your girl friends, and nodded. He was dressed in a sailors outfit, white yacht cap and all. You could smell the whiskey from his breath.

“Jay,” he extended a hand to each of your friends and flashed Chaewon the same confident smirk you saw at the library. “Would you all like a drink?”

“Y/N.” You shook his hand and despite the alcohol flowing in your veins, you replied, “I think we know better to not accept drinks from strangers.” 

He teasingly frowned, “Hey, we’re on a first name basis; I’d think we’re at least friends now. Right?”

Chaewon gently nudged you with her elbow, sending you a hint. “Surprise us,” she said.

You took a deep breath before downing the cocktail Jay put together, a mix of coke and Hennessey. Mark, whoever he was, really was rich.

Safe to say it was just you and Kazuha left for this part of the night; you didn’t mind when your friends found boys to dance with, there was plenty of alcohol and music for you to have fun yourself. At some point in the night, Chaewon wove herself back through the crowd to find you two, her hair a little displaced and more intoxicated than you last saw her. She brushed it off as “It’s hot in here!” even though you caught a glimpse of her following a boy in a yacht cap. You left the dance floor to find the bathroom, heading to the front of the house where you saw a line of people before.

The music was quieter here, though the front of the house was still crowded with people cheering and laughing, at least you felt like you could hear your own thoughts again. 

You cringed seeing the line of people all waiting for the bathroom. Desperately, you looked around a couple hallways for another open bathroom, but all other doors and staircases in the house sectioned off with caution tape. There were too many drinks in your body, you had to go. 

“Now it looks like you’re the one new here.”

You turned around to meet eyes with Sunghoon’s neck, he was awfully close. He took a half step back upon seeing your surprised eyes, but gave you a smile.

“I didn’t know you were in the hockey club?” 

“I know the guys - a bunch of jocks in my classes, remember?” Sunghoon looked more relaxed. His outfit looked identical to Jay’s, also sporting the yacht hat. You could see that his hair was now styled and less messy than what you had seen in the library earlier. And considering the heat of the house and your own sweat that clung to your forehead, you were surprised to still catch a whiff of his cologne. His white shirt was loosely buttoned, revealing several inches of his chest, his skin smooth. Sunghoon leaned down to whisper, “If you’re trying to be subtle about checking me out, it’s really not working.” He smelled strongly of coconut rum, explaining his boldness.

You were too drunk to care, and looked him right in his eyes, “Yeah, yeah you caught me. Life’s more fun without subtlety.” You grinned, “So what’s with the outfits?”

“The boys wanted to match, Naughty Nautical was their wording,” he shook his head with a smile. He noticed the quirk of your eyebrow, “and no, I’m still not on the team.” Sunghoon motioned to a long strip of poster paper hanging on a wall by a clock near the stairs. He pulled you towards it to get a better look at what was written. “You didn’t see the ship decor?”

---

CAPTAIN’S LOG

10:05 pm - You must refer to each player as Captain or Sailor tonight, or you will be kicked out. 

10:06 pm - HOUSE SHOT 

10:07 - TEAM SHOT

10:10 - LADIES SHOT HAHA

~

    10:32 - Tri Delt is here!! <3 :)

10:33p  who asked -Heeseung BRUH LMAO -jake

10:46 - HOUSE SHOT NUMBER IDK :D 

10:52PM - ur gonna regret letting the freshman riki in >:)

10:58 pm - Riki just ate shit on the stairs -JW

~

11:12 pm - FUCK I MISSED 11:11, but I still wish for pu$$y

    11:20pm - LOL Same.

11:23 pm- i a m drunk ..

11:30 pm please I beg of a crumb of puss for my boy Jay please add him on snap here: jjongseong420

You reach over to scribble something on the log too.

12:34 AM - where is the bathroom

Sunghoon laughed and offered a hand for you to take. You were surprised that his fingers intertwined with yours, Am I about to get laid tonight? you drunkenly thought to yourself.

Sunghoon lifted a strip of caution tape for you to duck your head under first, before following suit himself. You let go of his hand to grip the stairs’ side rail and heard him stifle a laugh or two behind you as you stumbled up. The first bathroom you two encountered was unlocked and you quickly shut it as soon as you opened it. You clenched your eyes and paused for a second to convince yourself that you did not just witness your best friend’s naked limbs woven between those of the frat boy she’s been talking about for the past couple of days.

Sunghoon didn’t take the hint and laughed out loud, “Holy shit, was that Heeseung?”

“I think I’ll need another drink after that. Maybe a whole bottle.” Sunghoon kept laughing at that.

After finding an actual available bathroom, you found Sunghoon waiting for you, typing on his phone with one hand, and carrying an unopened bottle of Malibu in the other.

“Ask and you shall receive,” he smiled, raising the bottle when he noticed you stepped out.

Your eyes widened, “Jesus, I didn’t mean I wanted to actually drink a whole bottle.”

“No, stupid,” Sunghoon chuckled. He was certainly more playful when he was drunk. “I was going to share this with you, and offer you to take the rest home.”

You rolled your eyes, but smiled. “Well, at least you chose my favorite.” Your hearing was a bit muffled after making it somewhere where the beats of the songs didn’t ring your eardrums. “This house is nice enough to have a balcony somewhere, right?”

Sunghoon nodded, “Follow me.”

The balcony was accessed through one of the bedrooms down the hall, you stared at the width of Sunghoon’s shoulders as you walked behind him. You didn’t say much as you two sat on the bench outside, overlooking the front yard. There were other patrons loitering outside, a beer pong table set up, and a couple or two making out by the fences. The midnight breeze lightly shook the branches within your reach.

Sunghoon was pretty much a stranger for all you knew, yet you didn’t mind letting him take you through the house. At least he was a very cute stranger, he seemed different from the other boys you’ve met at parties so far. By now, considering you two had been alone for a while, any other boy would probably have tried to stick his tongue in your mouth. And yet, the conversation continued as smoothly as before, or well as smoothly as a pair of intoxicated students could manage. Sunghoon talked about a story or two about some of his friends, and you told him about why you chose to pursue your minor in addition to medicine.

“It’s just fun to get away from the quantitative stuff, and learn more about the human experience,” you babbled. “I want to apply to this abroad program in Prague, where you spend 2 weeks on an archeology site.”

Sunghoon stared at you, amused, “It’s kind of ironic that you wanna dig up dead bodies, while learning how to treat live ones.”

You bumped his shoulder with yours, and watched as Sunghoon took a couple more swigs right from the bottle before offering it to you, letting his fingers graze yours for a couple seconds too long. You could still feel the rage of the party downstairs, and you found it nice to be away from the center of it.

“So, do you at least play hockey with them? Or is your friendship with the team solely professional and from class?”

Sunghoon smiled, “No, not a hockey person. We’re solely transactional, I do well on our group projects, and they give me free alc.”

You nodded, seemed reasonable to you.

He made a face at how you accepted that so quickly, “But no, yeah, I also help them train. I’m an assistant coach on the side? At the rink downtown?”

“I know our hockey team is mostly composed of skinny boys, which is already unusual… But you?” Your eyes traced down his slim figure, “A coach?”

He poked your forehead, “Hey, I know my way around a puck better than half those guys. But nah, I figure skate. Help kids break into their first set of skates. But with the team, it’s usually to help with movement, speed training.”

“Damn, I didn’t think you could get any hotter,” you blurted out, honestly surprised. Usually you’d feel at least some regret admitting that, but the way Sunghoon’s ears burned red? Priceless.

“It’s not something I really admit; I got teased a bit before I got close to the guys. Had to score a couple goals against those bastards before I got them to admit a triple axel was cooler than any dekes they’ve learned.” He smiled faintly.

“You finished your paper, yeah?” You let him change the subject a couple beats later.

“Yup, that book really helped.” Sunghoon lulled his head around with the faint music, “I was just cruising right after we found it.”

“Hmm, I feel like I deserve a reward for helping you.” You know what, maybe you were a bit wrong about Sunghoon. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he didn’t seem that soft spoken as when you met him earlier that day. You were suddenly aware of how much his leg burned against yours.

“I mean, I can think of some ways,” you slurred, the liquid confidence drawing out each syllable, the words leaving your mouth before you could think of the cringe it would cause you the next morning. Sunghoon was unabashedly staring at your lips and you couldn’t resist yourself from smiling. Maybe he wasn’t so different, but you didn’t mind.

It was he who made the first move, his hand pressing lightly on your thigh as he leaned towards you. You fluttered your eyes shut, fully anticipating his lips against yours, only to open your eyes in confusion a few seconds later after nothing. He was biting his lip to not burst out laughing, his hand now stroking the top of your thigh. “Sorry, I just- it’s fun to tease.”

You squinted your eyes at him, and pulled his hand off your thigh. His eyes widened as you moved to straddle him, the poor bottle of Malibu tipping over to flavor the balcony with coconut.  “Try to tease me again and you’ll see.” 

Any ounce of his playfulness was erased, one hand rushing to grab your hip and the other reaching for the side of your face. He sealed his lips over yours and you eagerly tangled your fingers in his hair, knocking over his stupid boat captain hat.

You felt his tongue press into your mouth and you let him in, your lips moving messily against his. You let out a groan as his hips grinded underneath you and you felt him smile.

You held onto a shoulder and one of his biceps, feeling it tense as he pushed your ass further down onto him. His other hand moved from your jaw to the front of your neck and you let out a loud whine; this time Sunghoon pulled away with a short chuckle, cocky as hell, whispering, “Be careful. The people under the balcony might hear you.”

“Jeez, Sunghoon, are you an exhibitionist or something?” You teased.

His fingers, now brushing the front of your throat. Under the dim light of the moonlight you could see the swell of Sunghoon’s parted lips. He playfully rolled his eyes and scoffed, but said nothing.

You smirked and continued, “I only want you to hear.” And you swore you felt Sunghoon throb under you.

He picked you up, which seemed easy for him, given his arms, and carried you back into the bedroom - whose ever it was. He reconnected your lips, a hand sliding underneath your skirt as soon as your back hit the sheets of the bed. You pushed him off for a second, your hands clumsily reaching for the buttons of his shirt, eager to feel what was underneath. He watched as you traced your hands up his now bare chest, and you pulled him back in. He pulled the strap of your tank down, exposing more of you as he traced his lips, then his tongue, down your skin. You felt the graze of his teeth and you drew in a sharp breath.

Though you had to help him with the clasp of your bra with a giggle from you and a shut up from him, his tongue moved expertly over your chest. Sunghoon’s other hand pressing into you over your panties, and as he began to tug on them to free you, you couldn’t help but push your hips up to rush him, eager for his touch.

And as you felt his fingers slip inside of you, the door swung open, another busy pair of bodies stumbling towards the bed. And, obviously in the darkness, you screamed, but so did Sunghoon. And so did the other couple. “Wait… Sunghoon?” The guy said, his voice sounding surprised and almost proud?

Surely you couldn’t show your face at the hockey house anymore after this, you thought to yourself as you hurriedly clothed yourself, thankful you were only topless.

It was your first time getting walked in on, and considering what you witnessed earlier that night, at least you and Yunjin had a common story to laugh about tomorrow morn- err afternoon. After pushing out of the bedroom, Sunghoon, however, was still burning red, maybe from the alcohol, but also the embarrassment. You laughed as you poked his cheeks.

“Well, I guess you should be out there with your friends, doing keg stands or something?” You asked.

He chuckled too, thankful you were nonchalant about everything, and leaned down to kiss you again. His lips were gentle this time, and still sweet from the liquor. He held your hand as you headed down the stairs together. Your activities sobered you up so you two headed to the kitchen for more fuel, finding Yunjin and the other girls. After a couple more drinks with your girls, you didn’t even notice that Sunghoon had left your side at some point. Craning your neck over the still plenty of dancing bodies, you frowned, unable to see his tall self.

Yunjin noticed your disappointment, side eyeing the crowd as well. “Who was that guy you came down with?”

“Just met him today, he’s no one I guess.”

---

CAPTAIN’S LOG

1:32a WHO TOOK MY FUCKING LEFT SHOE -yangyang :(

1:40am - I have a small peen -jisung (Delta Rho Pledge Class)

2:02a - LOL YO SUNGHOON VIRGINITY IS NO MORE! VIRGIN

2:20am - ^ NO FUCKIN WAY HOON???

2:33 am - ^  IT WAS ME I TOOK IT LOL -JAKE

  WAIT THE SHOE NOT THE VIRGINITY

---

And again, you and Yunjin opted for stumbling through the dark neighborhood back to the dorms instead of calling a cab, the other girls begrudgingly joining you.

Yunjin slurred, “I can’t wait for the morning recap later,” her body landing on her bed with a soft thud.

You giggled at the thought of it too, although you frowned at the memory of Sunghoon leaving you in the middle of the night. It wasn’t wrong of you to be disappointed that he didn't want to continue what you had started, right? You thought of your conversations throughout the night, and even in the morning when you had first met him, wondering if you said something wrong. You grumbled in bed, bothered by how he made you question yourself, even though he knew you for less than a day. Just another night at a party, you convinced yourself, before drifting to sleep.

You woke up nauseous, your instincts kicking you out of bed to run to the toilet. After seemingly endless minutes of gagging and thoughts of regret, you lifted your face out of the toilet to see Yunjin in the doorway, looking at you pointedly.

“Damn, you had fun,” you muttered, letting out a pained giggle after seeing the marks on her neck.

She scoffed, helping you up from the floor to stand behind you in the mirror. “Look at yourself.” While not as dark or as many as hers, you traced a finger where some red bruises were trailing your collar.

After a hot shower and plenty of water, you met up with the other girls at the dining hall for breakfast. Yunjin and Chaewon were obnoxiously laughing, recounting the story about some freshman tumbling down the stairs in a Sailor Moon costume. 

Chaewon laughed, and paused to think. “I learned that I might not be into roleplay as much as I thought.”

“No…” You glanced around, looking out for any eavesdroppers.

“He kept the hat on and referred to himself as Captain before he went down on me.”

Yunjin gagged. “My biggest takeaway from last night? I guess, him… the biggest…”

It was your turn to gag.

The other girls continued to pry for more detail, and you got up to get some more water before they could pounce on you for your story. Your headache was pretty much gone at this point, but the nauseous feeling lingered. You spotted a boy with dark hair by the drink station and felt your nausea take a turn.

“Hey,” you gave Jake a small smile. He was in your major, so you had chatted with him a few times in some shared classes. “Was wondering if you knew how that freshman was doing?”

Jake turned and looked at you, and snorted as he tapped on his phone to bring up an image of the poor child, Riki, he told you was his name, tumbling down the stairs in a skirt. “The attention he’s getting from that is distracting him from his concussion.” He tapped again to show a Snapchat story of the boy himself, the tools of a hospital examination room behind him, with the caption i’m ok. “See you at the HYB house tonight? I’ll make sure there's enough Malibu,” he flashed you a vague smile and walked off. 

You frowned as you made your way back to your table, eager stares from the girls. “My night was uneventful! My takeaway is that it is far more fun to dance with you guys, than to be off in the corner with some guy,” you stated as you sat down. It was true - hookups weren’t ever on your party itineraries. Kazuha and Chaewon cheered you for that, but you met your best friend’s eyes and knew she was going to spare you just this time.

Jake’s comment bugged you the rest of the meal and continued through the rest of the afternoon, as you tidied your room and finished a bit of schoolwork. Give it up for frat boys to talk about you as soon as you part ways.

Since there was always room for school work to be completed, you decided to squeeze in some time at your usual library spot. As you passed the circulation desk, you half-heartedly snuck a peek to check who was working. For better or for worse, not who you were looking for.

The rest of the afternoon was less eventful, no need for Mario Party music to help you get through the last bits of a paper. Tonight’s pregame squad was larger than last time’s, with the inclusion of Kazuha’s classmate Sunoo and his best friend, the villain of the other night, Riki.

Yunjin groaned, “Are you sure they’ll even let you in?” She gave you a look that screamed, can you believe this kid? And you just laughed because forcing beef with a freshman was not something you were expecting to see from her tonight.

Riki squinted at her, “I know you. And I’m closer to Heeseung-hyung than you think, so you better watch it.” 

Yunjin cleared her throat, “Alright, fine, but if they close the door on your face? I’m not gonna turn back.” Riki faked a smile and continued to sip from his solo cup.

The rest of your friends were finishing their makeup, taking shots, and obnoxiously laughing. “You know,” Yunjin pulled you to the side, “You never explained who you were really with last night.”

“You know it’s a peeve of mine to share everything I do with boys.” 

“Hey! I’m just wondering if I need to keep an eye out for someone, in a good or a bad way.”

“Park Sunghoon, another kines major and groupie of the hockey team.”

Yunjin nodded slowly, obvious she was wracking her brain through all her social circles to determine what she knew of him. “Newest HYB pledge. Transfer. Ridiculously good looking and a rare attendee of HYB events - he barely rushed but he got a bid because everyone liked him so much anyway.” She paused, “I’ll err on the side of red flag since he’s too incognito in Greek, but he’s hot so just have fun?”

“Not sure if I’m going to try to indulge in that again. Didn’t even know he was in the frat. He seemed… like he thought he was above that mentality.” Yunjin gave you a side-squeeze, and a couple more glugs of her vodka concoction into your cup. 

“He sure as hell looks the part though. That’s what makes ‘em fun.”

The HYB house was larger than any frat home you’d stumbled your way into. It included a nice, curved driveway - now crowded with shivering bodies - and a stairway entrance. Several signs, - in the chic-est of spray paint on bedsheet - cursing out your university rival, lined the top floor’s windows. And much to your chagrin, considering the run-in you had today, you saw that Jake was one of the door guys.

Your friends were going over the plan on how to get Riki in, “They’ve been begging Sunoo to rush HYB, so if they come in a pair, surely they couldn’t turn him down,” Kazuha rationalized.

Chaewon was doubtful, “Boy doesn’t know his tolerance, they might see him as a liability.”

“Can’t you just pass the door guy a couple bills and call it a night?”

“Bitch, I’m literally broke. If they say no, I’ll just sneak in from the side.”

“Well, well, well.” Jake looked your group up and down with a smirk. “Now y’all look like a bunch of troublemakers. Wait,” his eyes locked onto Riki, who was (mind you, 6 ft tall) subtly hiding behind Sunoo. “You ladies can go in, but I’m gonna have to ask about the boys.”

Sunoo rolled his eyes, “Look, we brought three girls, surely the ratio will be fine.”

“Hey Sunoo, I’m jus-”

Yunjin pulled you into the house, and hissed “I said I would not look back and I meant it.”

You were astonished by the glory of the inside. The historic style of the outside contrasted with the dark and sleek minimalism of the inside. They had invested in Real Quality strobe lights and a dedicated raised platform for the DJ set. The girls reflected your awe just the same.

HAPPY HOMECOMING was spelled out in much nicer fashion, on poster paper rather than bedsheet, along the second floor ledge.

Due to the nature of the event, the kitchen - just as pristine and sleek as the front of the house - was filled to the brim with bottles and fiending students. Frat boys were behind the island dishing out drinks.

“Heeseung’s not coming?” You asked Yunjin. 

She shook her head, “His frat’s having a party at their house too, but this house is far nicer so naturally I chose HYB.” And judging by the line you saw outside and the amount of bodies pressing against you, so did everyone else.

An older looking boy even introduced himself to your group, a sober safety bro as he said, and offered a hit of his vape.

You’d be lying if you said that the possibility of Sunghoon being here (which was at least 90%) didn’t kind of bother you. Even amidst the dance floor, your eyes did an occasional scan of the perimeter. If it was paranoia or hope, you couldn’t tell the difference. You saw your genetics TA, some girls from your dorm suite, and, wait, is that Riki helping out the DJ?

Even Chaewon noticed your scanning and shoved her cup in your face, a universal signal to chill out, and enjoy the night. 

It was a good time for a refill. The crowd to get drinks was less packed, but still full enough to block your vision of who was pouring.

You were using your front camera to fix an eyelash before realizing you had made your way to the front. Your vision of your reflection was immediately replaced with the embarassed? expression of Sunghoon as soon as you put your phone down.

“What can I get for you?” He slightly yelled over the music.

“Rum and Coke,” You heard yourself stammer, and hoped it would be mistaken for a drunk stumble.

Sunghoon nodded. “Yes, mommy,” he visibly cringed as you blinked at him. “Ugh, sorry, the pledges have to call the girls that tonight.” He turned around to pour your drink. You, too, turned to look the other way.

If it was any other guy, you’d be laughing, but seeing him again made you feel awkward enough already. The addition of frat pledge hazing was NOT helping.

“Here you go,” Sunghoon passed you the cup. And you stared at the clear liquid inside.

“This isn’t-“

“It’s Malibu,” he said with a smile and turned to help the next person in line.

Your many drinks later helped soothe you to your normal self, enjoying the moment with closed eyes, swaying your body next to your friends’. 

At some point you and Yunjin decided to take a break from the dance floor and explore the house. “Some of Heeseung’s bros are banned from this house so they asked for pictures,” she whispered, ungracefully taking pictures of semi-occupied hallways and rooms with flash. You were so embarrassed for her.

She snickered going through the ones she just took. “This photo is so creepy; there’s a guy just sitting in this room alone, like a stalker.” The irony zipped above her head.

You two began to make your way back to the action. The DJ was hyping up the house, the music stopped - getting everyone to chant profanities about your rival school. Yunjin quickly rejoined the crowds, leaving you to stroll in through the kitchen without her.

You watched the back of Sunghoon’s figure as he poured a drink for himself, then raised his cup with the rest of the party in a cheer. He was so good-looking, even from behind.

Your mind reeled, you two hooked up and surely anyone would be willing to continue what… (rather, who) didn’t finish, right? Maybe it was self indulging, maybe it was the alcohol, but you didn’t want to stop your gravitation towards him. It was past 2am, surely you waited long enough.

“Hey again,” you said simply, tapping him on the shoulder.

“Hello, mo- Oh. Hey, Y/N.” He sighed.

You withheld your cringe. “Didn’t know you were a pledge,” you half lied (You knew.. you just learned a few hours prior!).

You were thankful that the people coming into the kitchen for refills were grabbing beers, rather than asking for mixed drinks. Sunghoon’s avoiding eyes told you he felt differently.

“It’s still a new development to me.” He was being so awkward, unlike the ramble-y, giggling Sunghoon you were with less than 24 hours ago.

 “Am I speaking to Park Sunghoon, or did I meet someone entirely different last night?” You blurted out.

He offered you a polite smile, “Sorry, I just don’t really know how to go about this.”

Oh god. He was going to give you a rejection speech - a babble about how one night is one night, and how he isn’t interested in anything more. Your heart panged, were you getting desperate? Sure, you met him only yesterday, but getting ghosted already - he barely gave you any time to even recover.

He took your hand to pull you to a quieter side of the room. “Alright, if you’re not interested anymore I get it, I’m an adult, you can be straight up.”

“No! It’s not that,” Sunghoon stared at your sleeve. “It’s just that I wasn’t sure how to act… hooking up with someone at a party isn’t at all my type of thing.” 

You resisted to quirk your brow at Sunghoon-the-alleged-not-frat-bro, frat bro. He noticed you were waiting for him to continue.

“And you… seemed like the opposite. I thought that you’d probably just leave me behind, so I decided it best to leave first.”

“I go for the music, the chaos, not the boys,” you shook your head. “But, I was kind of confused that you didn’t want to… continue?”

“Sorry for abruptly leaving, I didn’t really know what to say. Plus we were already walked in on, the guys are like helicopters over pledges - they’ll figure out everything so I - I don’t know - wasn’t sure I wanted to involve you.” He scratched his head, “I wasn’t expecting you’d come try to talk to me again.”

“Wow, Park Sunghoon, woman respecter, protecting me from the frat boy gossip.” You quipped. “You failed by the way, Jake made a comment to me earlier.”

He rolled his eyes and groaned - “It’s because of that stupid captain’s log. You should see the rest of it - Jungwon documented everything I swear.” Sunghoon stopped to look at your blank face, “I’m not giving a good explanation, am I?”

You shrugged.

“Fine. Let me make it up to you.”

You thought to yourself, now am I getting laid?

Sunghoon intertwined his fingers with yours again and you followed behind him this time up the staircase. The HYB stairs were tile, far smoother than your unsteady walk could handle. Sunghoon laughed at you, “If you’re like this walking on land, I wonder how you’d be on figure skates.”

“Are you suggesting you’d want to see me in public and on skates? And not in the haze of a dingy frat party?” You feigned surprise.

Sunghoon snickered, “Hey, our house is the least dingy in all of Greek.” He smiled again, “And yeah, I’d be down to see you without an absurd amount of coconut rum.”

You ignored the sirens going off in your brain about getting more involved with someone unpredictable like him, Yunjin’s just have fun, echoing in your head.

He unlocked a room’s door, revealing a typical single, dark bed sheets matching dark curtains. You noticed a few trophies on a shelf. Sunghoon frantically picked up stray clothes, “Sorry I don’t really, bring people back.” He looked at you as you leaned against the door frame for support, “Wait. You’ve had way more drinks than I have. I think we should just watch a movie? I set up pretty good speakers, my surround sound is elite.”

You snorted, “Woman respecter, certified.” You removed your shoes and climbed into his bed. The soft sheets felt good against your skin, the spinning of the room felt more obvious with your new position. The bed dipped as Sunghoon joined next to you, equipped with his laptop. The sirens in your head went off again as he slid an arm under you, pulling your heavy head against his chest. He still smelled of cologne - a tinge of spilled orange juice and fruity smoke, clinging gently on his shirt. You were more conscious of how you smelled to him, of coconut and pure sweat, most likely. Sunghoon gently rested his head atop yours. Oh god, there was no way he wasn’t breathing you in now.

Sunghoon mumbled, “You okay? Need water?” He was aimlessly scrolling through his front page of Netflix. You shook your head, then laughed pointing out Megamind under his Watch It Again list. He sat up, trying to cover his other recommendations that were all along the line of family movies. “It was for nostalgia, okay!”

You wrestled with his arm, revealing more of his lists. “Monster House I can get behind, but Boss Baby? Really?” He wrestled back, before he closed his laptop, suppressing his own embarrassed laughter with fake seriousness. Sunghoon climbed on top of you, lightly pinning your wrists against his sheets.

“You talk mad shit for someone who told me they listen to Mario Party music unironically.” You gasped.

“I did not tell you that! Plus, I’d rather be caught listening to Mario KART music, than watching a movie about a baby in a suit.”

Judging by Sunghoon’s expression, you knew you won that argument. He continued, “I might have asked around about you.”

You smirked, “Stalker, are we?” Then you realized, how did other people know that about you?

Sunghoon rolled his eyes, and decided against a comeback. He dipped his head to seal his lips over yours. He let go of your wrists, opting to grasp your chin with one of his hands, as his other supported his weight above you. You eagerly moved your lips against his, sighing.

Shamelessly, you mumbled against his mouth, “Couldn’t stop thinking about this.” Your arms wrapped behind his neck, tugging him closer to you.

You felt Sunghoon’s shoulders stiffen, as your lips trailed downwards, eager to trace lines against his jaw again.

“Hey,” he whispered. Your hand followed down the front of his chest, prying at the edge of his collar. “Hey-,” Sunghoon repeated, louder. He let out a soft groan, before you pulled away, satisfied.

“What?” you whispered, exasperated.

“If this is all you want from me, I can’t do that.” He said seriously. “I don’t want to just hook up with you, plus you drank too much.” 

You cleared your throat. He was right, though he was just as playful, he seemed quite sober. Sunghoon resumed, “I’d like to just spend time with you, but if you’re seeking something else - no hard feelings.” You saw a gentle pout along his lips. You heard him, but you couldn’t resist placing a kiss against that pout.

“No! I don’t just want to sleep with you…” You looked at him, maybe the sirens going off in your head were just a false alarm. “Just promise you won’t ditch me?”

You felt his neck burn up, if it wasn’t for the room barely being illuminated by his digital clock on the wall, you knew his face would be flushed red. “It’d be hard to leave, considering we’re literally in my room,” he joked. He placed a kiss on the side of your mouth before lying back next to you, his arm sliding back under your head.

You giggled as you watched him quickly scroll past his Netflix recommendations, instead pulling up the anime genre page. 

Eventually agreeing on watching Saiki K, Sunghoon’s gentle shaking from his quiet laughter began to lull you to sleep. Your last thoughts before sleep consumed you was how sweaty you felt with Sunghoon’s body heating you up, how you forgot to text Yunjin back about your whereabouts, and how criminal it was for someone to still smell so damn good.

Those thoughts were also the first ones that came to you as morning struck.

Much to your surprise, your head didn’t hurt, probably thanks to the water Sunghoon basically force fed you during the second episode. His arm was still under you, but he was now turned to face you, his other arm lightly draped over your frame - effectively trapping you in his arms.

You weren’t complaining. 

Slowly, and quietly, you slid your hand to grab your phone in your back pocket. The most recent text from Yunjin, wear protection xx, with a selfie of her and RIki making kissing faces at the camera. Looks like their beef was relieved, you couldn’t help but to laugh out loud.

Sunghoon dipped his face deeper into your hair and neck, with a soft groan as if to shut you up.

Panic set in. You had to get out of there and shower. It would be an absolute disservice to this gorgeous man to keep allowing him to breathe you in.

You tried to shake him awake, Sunghoon pulled you tighter. You blinked at the intimacy of it all, sure he almost had his fingers inside you the other night but this felt far closer. It was pulling at your heart strings.

“Hoon, wake up, I’m stinky.”

Sunghoon mumbled, “I don’t mind.”

“Gross… I have to get to class.”

“Liar, Yunjin told me you have afternoon classes today.”

“Yunjin?” That woke him up.

He slightly pulled away, “I might have… inquired.”

You couldn’t hold back a satisfied smile. “Wow, I’ve known you for a weekend. This has to be a new record for me.”

Sunghoon brushed a few hairs out of your face. “You know, we actually met at the club fair last month.”

You tilted your head in confusion, “No, there’s no way - I definitely would have remembered you.” It was his turn to grin.

He bit his lip, “Well, it was more like I signed your friend’s petition, but you were at the table too. I was with Jake, you two were going over a lecture. You were too engrossed in genes or whatever, so I guess you didn’t notice.”

You hummed, “That lecture was so bad… Jake and I shared notes that night.” You watched Sunghoon’s now shy expression. “So a month, huh?” Maybe Sunghoon was a green flag.

Sunghoon covered his face with a hand, then teased, “Don’t forget you were all over me last night, practically begging for me.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“No, I think you just can’t remember with all that alcohol you drank.”

You squinted at his smug face, “Shall we call a truce?”

“Only if you let me take you out tonight.”

Tracing a finger along his jaw, you whispered, “That sounds reasonable.”

He grinned, placing a kiss on your cheek before getting up out of bed.

“Alright, I’ll take you home. Lord knows someone needs a shower.”

You pulled him back in bed to try to smother him with a pillow. He escaped quickly, laughing at your attempt and opting to practically pick you up. Sunghoon held your hand, leading you out of the remnants of the HYB house, only letting go for a moment to open the car door for you.

His hand found its way a top your thigh as he drove towards your dorm. 

When he parked, you grabbed his phone from the cupholder, holding it out so he could punch in his passcode. Sunghoon grinned as you sent yourself a text.

“I’ll pick you up at 6?” He offered.

You returned his smile with a chaste kiss, “See you then.”

[unidentified-ending]

What's up bro! I was just wondering weather you could make a little oneshot-headcanon about a male student in aizawas class who's younger brother (age 4-5) is quite dangerous due to his quirk but he's never done anything and he's been declined from multiple daycares and his parents are super stressed but Aizawa ends up taking the male reader younger brother to U.A's daycare and everyone in the dorms loves him bc he's so cute.

Thanks man, have a good day!!!!!

A/N: of course bro, this request is so cute so buckle up for some fluffy, maybe ooc aizawa and a cute younger brother.

This can be read as a trans or cis dude but if trans js imagine you got top surgery at a young age (not that young tho!). It's not mentioned anyways

Your parents were stressed. Like stressed stressed.

Your younger brother with (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes was boping around in your living room.

His name was Kuragari and he could destroy all of reality in one clap of his hand

But it's never happened before, but most people stay away from the cute ball of happiness.

When he was a child (2-3), everyone would stay away from him but he had you

Y/n L/n, a (personality trait) boy who was in class 1a, UA. Aspiring hero, and the best brother anyone could ask for.

Anyways back to the point.

Your parents were stressed, Kuragari's power was getting in the way of his daycare applications.

He was dangerous and so nobody came near him bc of "the sake of the other children"

And your parents both worked and you went to school so it was a hell of a time trying to do something for him

He'd usually get a baby sitter but he'd cry a couple of hours in, begging for you and his parents.

Which made either you, your mother or father come home from work early and have to settle him down

But that when the offer of you life came true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Y/n" you hear a faint voice call for you.

"Y/n!" The same voice but louder said again.

"Y/N!" The person said and you shot up straight away, the redness in your eyes and the bags under them were a huge sign of no sleep.

You looked around, you were in your classroom but nobody was in there, just your homeroom teacher calling out for you.

"Yes sir! I'm up, I'm up." You exclaimed into the empty room, your brother had woken up crying at exactly 2:27 am yesterday night and your parents wouldn't wake up so you had to deal with Kuragari by yourself and that lasted duntil 4:16 am when he decided to sleep. And you knew you had to wake up at 7 tomorrow so only 3 hours of sleep didn't toll well on your body.

"It's break, why are you still sleeping?" Aizawa questioned, though not making any visable facial expressions.

"I-uh, I just didn't get enough sleep. I'm okay" You said, blinking in drowsiness

Aizawa raised an eyebrow and said "Are you sure? Is there something I need to know?"

"Nah, not really. It's just my younger brother Kuragari. He's been declined by so many daycares' bescuse his quirk is too dangerous for the daycare but hes never actually used it before." You explain and Aizawa listens intently.

"He can break reality in one clap of his hands but he's so cute, he's 5 this year and me, my mother and my father have been extremely stressed about this issue because nobody can baby sit him for more then five hours before he starts to throw a fit and cry. And we have to take care of him at night and its very tiring."

Aizawa listened to your story all the way through and at the end he said, "How about we take him and we can take care of him? It's up to your parents though." Your eyes glimmered at the idea and you told him you'd ask them this evening.

That evening~~~~

"Mum, Dad. I've got news! Sensei Aizawa said he's take in Kuragari into the U.A daycare! Only if you want." You exclaimed when you got into the house and ran straight into your living room.

"Wait what?" Your father said, a hint of surprisment in his voice. "Really?" You mother said, a huge smile growing on her face.

"Yes!" You shouted with picking up your little brother and he immediately started laughing and clapping his hands together in excitement even though he had no idea what you were talking about.

A few hours later

"So what do we need to do to get Kuragari in there?" Your mother said while feeding him some food.

"Nothing, we just have to bring him in tomorrow and they take him in, look after him and there is another sweet girl called Eri in there. She's so sweet and I think they would get along together."

"Are you sure about this, honey?" Your father said to your mother

"It's a opportunity we must take. For the sake of our sleep" Your mother yawned.

Your father nodded on agreement.

"Alright then, but it's your responsibility to dress and wash him in the morning because we have work tomorrow. Fair?" Your father asked while taking a sip of his coffee.

"Fair" you agreed while picking up Kuragari and placing him on the couch and turning on some baby shows.

The next morning~~~~~~

You looked at a snoozing Kuragari at 6:50 am. You knew he was gonna throw a fit about waking this early but he had to get up.

You picked up the snoozing boy and cradled him in your hands, gently rubbing your finger over his forehead to wake him.

He started to fidget in your hands and kick his legs about. That's when he opened his ayes and started wailing.

"Shh, shh it's okay. I need you to wake up for me." You say as you kissed his head and put him in his baby chair.

You made his baby breakfast and ate your own, he was still glaring at you for waking him up early.

After that, you ran a bath for the two of you while he played with some of his toys.

"Kuragari." You exclaimed and he came crawling over to the bathroom with a toy car in his hand.

You undressed him and put him in the bath and you also got in. He flapped around with his bath toys in the bath, accidentally hitting you with some bubbles.

"You silly child" you sighed before taking him out and dressing him in some new clothes.

"Alright lil bro, I'm gonna carry you to school today. So climb on my back." You said while taking your keys and unlocking your front door.

You crouched down do he could climb on your back and he crawled up your back and seated himself right on your shoulders.

Off you two go to school~~~

Surprisingly you were the only two there in your class. Mean class did start at 8:20 and you two got there at 7:59 so it was pretty early.

You went to sit at your desk and then you took your brother off your head and placed him on your desk, then placed your own head on the desk, hoping for some of your own sleep.

Your promised it would 5 minutes but 5 minutes turned into 15.

Your self-consciousness was telling you to get awake and that's when you shot up awake, immediately in search for you younger brother.

"Kuragari" you said, your eyes darted across the room but all you could see were your fellow classmates crowded around something..or someone.

"Where's my brother?" You said in panic and the whole class looked at you in surprise.

"You mean this bundle of joy" Denki said as he held your smiling and laughing brother in his hands.

Your face immediately relaxed, you hadn't lost him.

"I'm so sorry guys-" you started but Mina interrupted.

"There no need to be sorry he's so cute!" She said while the rest if the class agreed with him. You went to join the classmates of yours and when he saw you he did his signature grabby hands and you picked him up.

"Bakugo saw you sleeping when he came in then me spotted your brother on his desk. He carefully just put him back on your desk and sat down."

Bakugo tsked at his desk but didn't deny it.

"What's he even doing here anyways?" Sero says as he laughs with Kuragari.

"Oh it's a long story, so-" then a door slammed open and Aizawa walked in.

"What is going here?" He questioned and everyone moved out the way of Kuragari and Aizawa had one look at the child and back at you and he knew you two were siblings.

Kuragari on the other hand started to cry at the old grizzled man and immediately started to grab onto Deku's shirt.

"Sorry man, he's a bit grumpy. I'll take him out." You say to deku and he waves it off completely fine.

When you walk out of the room, Aizawa walked out as well.

"Sorry sensei, he's just-"

"Yeah yeah, I know. Let's just get him in the daycare and we can start lessons" Aizawa said and the two of you walked to the daycare in silence.

You dropped him off to the daycare in silence where he met Eri and they got along together.

The two of you walked back together to class in silence before Aizawa said. "He looks like you".

"Really?" You say, surprised at the comment.

"Yeah, I bet he's a hard one to deal with."

"Oh he is" you say, enjoying the small talk.

"I can see where he gets it from" he says and you accidentally let out a chuckle.

You knew you had a good teacher.

[iwillneverforgiveyousunghanbin]

taedros taedros

part two: taedros twodros ☆ part three: taedros tresdros**NEW wc: 2k reader: femme afab warnings: MINORS DNI EXPLICIT SMUT 18+ -- porn with plot, oral f!receiving, swearing, calling tae a virgin loser as a joke, mentioning the weeknd LMAO summary: loserbestfriend!taerae makes you watch the idol on hbo max with him for movie night, but a certain convertible scene sparks your "curiosity" more than the others... and taerae proves he might not be such a loser after all. :0 omg who am i?? i even wrote in all lower case letters in the fic to throw you off... i know you'll know right away though but that's not the point lmao!! i just didn't think i should be this horny for taerae on main so. here's the dedicated zb1 smut blog no one was asking for (except me. i was asking for it so let me live.) thank you to taerae for posting these pics next to each other and ruining my life. also the idol sucks and sam levinson and the weeknd are horrific for creating it. i only know some scenes from it because i watch comedy commentary videos about it. jennie is beautiful tho love her. ALSO i thought of this title and i cried laughing. mwahaha okay thanks for reading byeeeee

“this is the worst show I’ve ever seen in my life,” you say with a laugh, throwing a piece of popcorn in your mouth. “i can’t believe we’ve made it through two episodes already.”

🚨 SMUT BELOW CUT -- MINORS DNI -- 18+ 🚨

taerae sighs, “i think i’m gonna need to bleach my eyes.”

“throw some in my ears while you’re at it,” you joke, letting a leg drape over your best friend’s. you’re crammed together in the bottom bunk of his dorm room bed, watching the idol on the tv that’s hung at the foot of it. “i will never, ever be able to unhear the weeknd whispering, ‘stretch that tiny little pussy for me’. and every single day i will beg the lord for mercy.”

“are we sure we wanna watch the third episode?” taerae asks, shifting a bit next to you. “this show is so graphic.”

“of course the virgin wants to chicken out,” you tease, smacking his stomach with a pillow. he grabs it from you and leaves it there. “you’re the one who wanted to watch it! now you wanna quit two episodes in? not gonna happen. we can make it through this.”

if you hadn’t pressed play at that exact moment, you would’ve heard taerae gulp beside you. 

the intro of the show plays, assaulting your eyes with an up-close and personal view of jocelyn’s bare chest. what else is new? you yawn, hoping the third episode’s graphic scenes (at the very least) won’t be repetitive. bitch has put on a blindfold to end both episodes so far...

sitting with your back leaning against the wall, you try to steal a glance at taerae. his upper back is propped up on his pillow as he lies perpendicular to you, facing the tv screen. you watch his eyes, catching the subtle dilation of his pupils. it could be the light from the television in the otherwise dark room shifting their size, but you find yourself curious nonetheless.

“do you think she’s pretty?” you ask suddenly.

taerae coughs. “me? do i think the actress is pretty?”

you nod, eyes returning to the screen in hopes that the lack of eye contact will make taerae feel comfortable enough to give you an answer.

“she’s pretty, yeah,” he says after a moment. 

“like, you’re attracted to her?” you clarify, throwing another piece of popcorn into your mouth.

“uh,” he hesitates and you feel his legs tense up under yours. “i guess. i mean she’s not really my type, but--.”

“but you like her tits.”

“exactly,” taerae agrees too quickly. “wait, no--.”

“no need to walk it back,” you cut him off with a snort. “boobs are hot. end of story.”

taerae sits up a bit more, seemingly trying to relax after your probing. you didn’t talk to taerae about sex or girls all that much, but you’d be lying if you said the show hadn’t suddenly made you a bit curious. what experience did your lovable loser of a best friend have-- if any at all?

the interrogatory questions you’re suddenly wanting to ask are thrown from your brain, however, as the show now cuts to a shot of the weeknd (you and taerae refuse to call him tedros tedros) and jocelyn in the back of a convertible-- their poor assistant driving these two insufferable cretins down the freeway.

nothing’s out of the ordinary until jocelyn crawls from her seat and lifts one leg to straddle the weeknd. she’s in a slinky tangerine bodysuit and little black shorts and the weeknd’s hands easily envelope her waist. you roll your eyes, already having grown so sick of these two. 

but when jocelyn is suddenly pushed to the edge of the seat, her back against the car door and her head resting on the frame-- your attention is piqued. the weeknd wraps his hands around her thighs, prying them apart so he can pull her shorts to the side just enough to fit his tongue. the actress’s head lolls back over the car door frame; her blonde hair dangling over the side and flowing in the wind. her face is screwed up in absolute bliss and the sounds coming out of her confirm her state.

would she really be screaming like that just from his tongue?

“um,” you hear taerae say and you look over at him curiously. “if-- if he’s good with it, then yeah. she would be, i guess.”

you frown. what was he talking about? if he’s good with what? ... oh fuck, you think as you realize that you’d accidentally said your previous thought out loud. and now poor taerae is stumbling to give you an answer.

what did he say? if he’s good with it then she would be.

“huh,” you mumble, your brow furrowing as you ponder his answer.

you turn back to the tv, but taerae clears his throat. “what?”

“what? what do you mean, what?”

“why did you say ‘huh’ like that?” he asks, the pillow on his stomach rustling as he shifts slightly. “do you not agree or something?”

“oh, uh,” you stutter as you feel your cheeks start to heat, not sure what to say. “um, i guess i wouldn’t know.”

the silence from taerae is deafening as your eyes stay locked on the tv. you’re not sure why you said that. you could’ve just lied. you should’ve just lied.

“are you a virgin?” taerae asks softly. the accusation whips your head around to stare at him angrily and his eyes widen cautiously.

“obviously not,” you answer in a huff. “i just... i’ve never...”

you look down at your lap, picking at the skin on your fingers. you should stop while you can. you don’t need to tell the truth. why are you even considering telling him this?

“no one’s ever gone down on me or anything.”

“oh,” taerae manages to respond after a long moment, but you can’t even look at him.

“yeah.”

another moment of silence. “you shouldn’t be, like, embarrassed by that. that’s... that’s entirely their fault for not prioritizing you, you know?”

your bottom lip tucks between your teeth, the aforementioned embarrassment flushing your skin as you nod. the show is still playing, but you can only hear garbled sounds. why did you tell him that!? now taerae has to awkwardly comfort you when you could’ve just shut your mouth in the first place. you didn’t really talk about these kinds of things with taerae. your best friend was there for movie nights, chinese food binges, laughing until you cry, and most importantly taking the absolute piss out of... 

and here you were making him uncomfortable by randomly talking about your oral virginity.

“would you want me to do it?”

taerae’s voice is so quiet that you’re positive for a moment that you hallucinated it. you look over at your best friend tentatively to find his knuckles turning white from how hard he’s gripping his pillow to his stomach. 

“what?”

taerae blinks nervously. “if you wanted to, you know, try it... i could--.”

“WHAT!?” you shout; hands grabbing the pillow on taerae’s stomach and throwing it across the room. “are you-- are you fucking joking!? you think i’m desperate enough to ask my best friend to eat me out?”

“no, no, no,” taerae respond quickly, hands flying up in defense. “not at all!”

“then what?” you ask, jaw setting in anger as you wait for a good enough answer to keep you from punching him in the balls.

taerae’s lips form the slightest pout. “you seemed really curious about it. i just... i just thought i’d offer.”

you bite your lip as you think. “what do you even know about that kind of thing? I thought you were a virgin loser.”

“ouch,” taerae says but quickly shrugs it off. “i guess you’re only right about half of that statement.”

you frown. even though you’d never talked about it before, was taerae secretly experienced? more experienced than you?

“you don’t have to say yes though,” he adds quickly. “i’m sorry; i probably shouldn’t have said any--.”

“okay,” you cut him off softly.

taerae’s eyes widen in surprise. “okay?”

you nod slowly. “i don’t believe you that you’re not a virgin loser, but if you’re offering...”

taerae sits up, leaning on his hands as a little smirk lights up his face. “i’ll eat you out and then you can eat those words. how does that sound?”

the way your heat flutters at his words catches you off guard. so does the way he swiftly flips you onto your back as you take the position he was just in.

“whoah,” you exhale, your best friend absolutely knocking the wind out of you as he positions himself between your thighs. he takes the hem of your shorts in his fingers, eyebrows raising at you expectantly. you lift up your hips enough for him to shimmy them off, discarding them on the floor without taking his eyes off your still-clothed center.

you glance at your underwear, panic immediately hitting you when you realize you wore the only clean pair that you had left...

a black, lace thong.

they were the only pair left, because you honestly hadn’t had a reason to wear them in a little while.

“fuck,” taerae curses, hands wrapped around the outsides of your thighs. “were you going somewhere after this or...?”

“if you don’t shut your mouth, i’ll be going somewhere before this,” you threaten, but the words come out shakier than you would’ve liked as taerae begins to plant open-mouthed kisses up your thighs. “... ‘s laundry day tomorrow.”

“mm, I see,” he replies, shifting his weight to one hand so he can bring his right hand to your heat. your heart rate rises as he moves towards where you’re quickly growing to need his attention most. two fingers press at your clothed-core gently and the sound of the tv in the background does nothing to dampen the moan that escapes you from just the small amount of pressure.

“laundry day’s coming just in time i think,” taerae says, a smirk highlighting his cavernous dimples in a light you’ve never seen before. “from the way you’re soaking through these.”

“shut up,” you groan, bringing your hands up to cover your face. taerae hooks his fingers around the waistband of your panties, tugging at them playfully to get your attention. peeking out through your fingers, you glare at him.

“do you want to stop?” he asks, removing his hands quickly. “we can stop if you want to or need to or anything.”

you reach down and grab both of his hands in yours, reattaching them to your underwear. “please keep going.”

he blinks at you for a moment before nodding, pulling your thong down your legs as you lift your hips up for him. taerae lies down fully in between your thighs now, guitar-string calloused hands wrapping around your thighs and guiding them to rest on his shoulders. 

“so pretty,” he whispers. eyes focusing on your throbbing cunt, taerae’s grip on your legs gets a little tighter-- a little more desperate. “really.”

“thanks,” you respond shyly, watching as a bit of steam begins to coat the rim of taerae’s glasses. you can’t help but smile as you reach for them, carefully removing the frames and placing them on the stand next to his bed. 

“thanks,” he echoes. 

“i’m still not convinced that you aren’t a-- oh fuck...” just as you’re about to tease your loser of a best friend again, his tongue finds your core and licks a long stripe up from your opening to your clit. taerae exhales a laugh against your pussy, tongue circling your clit as his hands now take hold of your hips.

“wait, what the fuck?” you whine breathlessly as he works you over with his mouth. “tae, i thought... oh my god.”

“taste so good, baby,” taerae moans like he’s enjoying it just as much as you are. he slips a finger in your entrance carefully, stretching you until he deems you ready for a second. “Think this pussy might be perfect.”

his eyes are closed; eating at you like you’re his favorite meal. it’s hot. way hotter than the scene from the show. way hotter than anything on that stupid show-- in which another sex scene is playing on the screen behind taerae. you suddenly feel so much pity for jocelyn; one of the hardest characters in history to pity. but the fact that there’s no way tedros fucking tedros is eating her out as good as taerae’s eating you out right now is tugging at your heart strings.

“tae,” you whimper, feeling the knot in the pit of your stomach begin to tighten. your hand tangling up in his hair at the nape of his neck causes him to moan into you and the vibration only makes you tug harder. “please, please wanna cum.”

“already? you sure?” he says, disappointment coating his voice. “could eat this pussy all night.”

“holy shit,” you exhale. you didn’t even know taerae was capable of talking like this. the only time he ever said pussy around you was if he was calling you one. now as he looks up at you from between your thighs, his pretty dimpled-smile covered in your juices as he continues to fuck you with his fingers and press his thumb against your clit...

you’re nodding frantically now. “please, please tae. make me cum.”

“fuck, baby, okay. whatever you want,” he agrees quickly, the lust in his eyes at your demand reaching a whole new level. he removes his thumb from your clit and the sudden lack of contact causes you to whine pathetically. “sshhh, don’t worry baby. i’ve got something even better, i promise.”

just as some tears from frustration are welling up in your eyes, taerae’s lips close around your clit and he begins to suck. “oh my GOD,” is all you can manage as your orgasm starts to wash over you. “taerae. oh my god, tae... c-cumming.”

you’re grinding your pussy against his tongue now to maximize the friction and the way he lifts your hips a bit to bring you even closer tells you that he’s loving every second of this. your moans match the ones that taerae is mewing into your core. he places your hips back down onto the mattress, holding them steady as you start to squirm a bit from the overstimulation. he continues to lap at you gently as your hand falls from his hair to his shoulder, causing him to look up at you.

your cheeks are red now from both your climax and the new wave of embarrassment that’s creeping up on you. you’re not sure what to say, but luckily taerae’s got you covered.

he inserts two fingers inside of you again and then pulls them out-- covered in your juices. without hesitating, he sticks them in his mouth and sucks them clean. “you’ve tasted yourself, right? probably a lot. fuck, i’m so jealous.”

your jaw drops a bit, now doubly unable to speak at the filth pouring out of your best friend’s mouth..

taerae frowns at you. “what? you want to make this awkward now?”

you shake your head. 

“was it good?” he asks, head tilting to the side as he squints slightly. you reach over to his nightstand and grab his glasses, handing them back to him. he puts them on; raising his hand to ruffle his hair.

“you know it was good,” you mumble annoyedly.

he grins. “yeah. i do.”

“UGH,” you groan, hiding behind your hands again. “i hate you.”

“please, pleeeease tae,” he mocks, climbing up closer to your face to really rub it in. “make me cum.”

“SHUT UP!” you shout, hitting his chest with your fists in annoyance. “do not get cocky about this.”

taerae shrugs, biting his lip to keep from smirking. “i guess you never wanna do this again then?”

you sigh defeatedly before replying softly, “i didn’t say that.”

“good,” he says with a smile-- shifting to the edge of the bed and standing up. “i’m gonna get you some water and a towel, okay? don’t move a muscle.”

you don’t. taerae had made sure of that with the orgasm he’d just pulled out of you. as the door to his dorm room closes behind him, you’re left with only your thoughts and the sound of that shitty tv show playing in the background. you reach for the remote weakly, pressing pause on a bizarre scene of the weeknd jerking it over a clothing rack (?).

all you can think about, though, is taerae lapping at your pussy like a starved man. what the fuck just happened? did you really just let your best friend eat you out?

and how the fuck had he managed to leave you wanting more?

[prophecyofwinter]

Se Riña Qilōni Iprattan Se Jēdar | IV

Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Summary | Saera Targaryen daughter of Jaehaerys I ran away from Westeros to escape her fate. 45 years later her daughter Y/N Targaryen, with invitation from King Viserys wishes to go back.

Tags | Slowburn, TargCest, Smut, Standard ASOIAF content, Aemond and Reader are First Cousins Once Removed, tags to be added

Prologue | Chapter III | Chapter V | Masterlist

Chapter IV | First Day of the Rest of your Life

“Pull yourself together and present yourself properly. This is my mother, the Queen. Do not make anyone regret allowing you here.”

His voice shocked you, the way he gripped your arm shocked you. Nothing like the way he caressed your hand and spoke low compliments into your ear less than half an hour before. You’ve done nothing to offend him and yet he’s holding you like a parent scolding a child. Looking at his expression all you can read is a slight annoyance, otherwise it’s a look of indifference.

Allowed? You were not ‘allowed’ you were asked, if anything you allowed yourself here.

“Release me! Is this how guests are treated in Westeros?” You say through clenched teeth roughly tugging yourself out of Aemonds grasp.

If this is how it shall be, so be it.

Aemond looked shocked by your sudden aggression, a momentary slip of his mask. His jaw tightened and let out a huff like a little boy.

“I am treating you far more kindly than what others will. Heed my advice.” Aemond ends the conversation there by knocking on the carriage door with the back of his hand, not breaking eye contact.

The door opens and Aemond moves to leave first, extending his hand to help you out of the carriage.

You take his hand hesitantly, there is no other choice for the sake of appearances.

You gaze up once you are standing on solid ground and without obstruction you see the Red Keep in all its glory. The red stone and towers that blocked the sun to the point where you were surprised the town didn’t spend most of the day in darkness.

Your mother told you many stories about her nefarious ‘activities’ she got up to while living here. Of course for most of these you spent covering your ears and begging her to stop.

Aemond linked his arm with yours, leading you forward across the dirt floor of the courtyard. You stopped your gawking in favor of looking towards the Queen. You haven’t seen many people with red hair before, it must be common here. She holds herself with impeccable posture, something your mother would imitate to mock Westerosi women for their piousness.

“Welcome to King’s Landing, Y/N, I hope the journey went without trouble. I know the sea can be moody this time of year. I’m glad Aemond got you from the port in one piece.” Alicent greeted you with a soft smile. You could see her eyes glancing over your clothes. It made you feel as though you were standing in front of her naked.

“Thank you Queen Alicent, I am grateful for the invitation. The sea has treated me well, as has Prince Aemond.” You gave a curtsy to her, gripping Aemonds bicep harder. You could feel every function in your body working at full speed, embarrassing yourself is your worst fear right now.

“Thank you, my Queen.” The armored man next to Alicent spoke up. He was clearly a guard of some kind, with black hair, facial hair, and a judging expression directed at you. “You live in Westeros now, she is your Queen.”

A silence fell over after the man’s words, both Alicent and Aemond gave him a short glance of confusion while you froze up.

“Oh, I didn’t mean anything by it I swear-“ You said trying to save yourself.

“Do not worry sweet girl, Ser Criston meant nothing by it. He is just bothered that Aemond is late to his training session. Why don’t I take you while Aemond trains?” Alicent steps forward to rub your upper arm and give a slight tug to signal you to let go of Aemond.

“That would be very lovely, my Queen.” You smile and relinquish your hold on Aemond in favor of standing closer to Alicent. She begins walking expecting you to follow, and you do. While walking you glance back and notice Aemond staring back at you while walking his own way.

—————

Alicent makes small talk with you about small things like foods from Essos, what Volantis is like, how your mother is fairing and so on.

The halls of the keep are long and filled with many trinkets along the way. You gaze out the windows when you pass by, you can see a rather large forest within the walls and out another you see the ocean with a garden with gazebos and walkways. The scent of fresh flowers passes through your nose making you feel relaxed.

“Excuse me my Queen. As much as I love this tour, I am rather tired from my voyage.” You say trying not to sound rude but you were feeling really tired. Alicent so far has been kind so you thought it would be alright to request to be shown your quarters.

“Of course you are. I don’t mean to keep you for much longer, but first we must get you checked by one of the Maesters.” Alicent said while leading you down a cobblestone staircase deeper into the bowels of the keep.

You hadn’t even realized how far down you were, surely this was the last level of the keep with windows. You knew exactly what she meant. Your face started to heat up and your heart was beating fast just by the premise.

“By getting me checked, do you mean…”

“Checking to make sure you’re still intact. Unless that is an issue…?” Alicent stopped at the bottom of the steps looking at you from the side, her demeanor unchanging.

“No of course not! It just sounds… uncomfortable.” You twiddle with your hands to ease your nerves. You can’t quite think of a word to describe how having an old man look at your most intimate area makes you feel. If there is even a good word to use.

Alicent, seemingly happy with your response, begins walking deeper down the stone hall and you walk fast to catch up.

“Maesters are men of the faith, they have no care for intimacy. They have seen hundreds of women. Our current Maester helped me birth all four of my children and will help you birth yours.” The way Alicent explains it makes sense but, men without desire? Every kind of man everywhere has visited a brothel at least once, no? You shake the thought from your head for your own comfort.

She stops at a wooden door and grabs the handle but doesn’t open the door.

“If it helps I will be in the room with you.” Alicent gives you a small smile and opens the door. You follow her in, trying your best to not let your gaze wander to the floor.

“Maester Mellos. I believe I informed you some time ago I would need you to make sure Aemonds betrothed is intact.”

You saw what you had expected to see, an old man dressed in bland clothing. The shelves lined with all kinds of medical devices and other things you couldn’t even guess the purpose of.

“Ah yes, I do remember. Have no worries I have been doing this for longer than you’ve been alive. I even saw your mother for a time.” The Maester went on for a little too long. You don’t think you needed to know that last part, everyone knows how that went.

You were guided to remove your lower small clothes and lay on the table, resting your head on a pillow. Alicent assured you it would only take a moment. Still, you laid there with your hands clasped together digging your nails into your skin. You began to count the pieces of stone on the ceiling to ignore whatever was happening on the other end of the table.

“All is well on this end, perfectly intact.” The Maester stood up and declared his final result. The second the words left his mouth you instantly got off the table and moved to put yourself back together.

“Fantastic news, thank you once again Maester, that’s all. Come Y/N.” Alicent states bluntly and once again begins to move without waiting. You rushed to finish putting your small clothes back on and chased to catch up.

————-

“Your chamber is fairly close to Aemonds, there should be no trouble navigating between rooms once you are wed. Two handmaidens have been assigned to you, they will wake you in the morning and make sure you’re dressed.” Alicent stood by the door while you wandered around your chambers, checking out every square inch.

“This is more than enough! I don’t even know how to thank you for your kindness, my Queen.” You walked up to Alicent with a big smile on your face. Everything was perfect, you could almost forget the hectic day you’ve had. There was even a wide balcony that looked over the gardens.

“It is just one of the many duties of being Queen. I fear I’ve kept you far too long, get some rest. I will send for you in the morning.” Alicent said before taking her leave, leaving you alone in your chambers.

You fell back first onto your bed and let out a big huff. You pray you made the right decision, who knows when or if you’ll go back to Volantis. You can’t expect to be liked instantly, being legitimized won’t change much if you don’t make the effort. You can already tell Prince Aemond and Queen Alicent aren’t too fond of your origins. Alicent is very good at hiding it which you can at least appreciate.

But, Mental crises can wait until tomorrow, you’re too tired to tackle that beast.

Simply too tired to put on any clothes to sleep in, you strip everything you are wearing and climb into bed. Rolling around in the new found comfort of such a big bed, it even had sheer curtains that made you feel even better. Sleep takes you quick, dreams of food and wine take root in your mind.

The first day of the rest of your life has come and gone.

——————

🏷️: @toodlesxcuddles @blackgirlmagicforever @yourwonkywriter

[loulovingho]

Uncle Eddie (part 5)

Our Juniper is growing up 😞 You can read this chapter below, or on ao3. All parts can be read together or as individual stories.

Eddie was pretty sure that this was the most nervous he'd been in his entire life.

Standing on the Buckley-Kinard porch, flowers in one hand and a poorly wrapped birthday present in the other, he let out a deep breath as he waited for someone to come to the door.

When the door finally opened and Tommy stood in front of him, he felt about two feet tall.

“You are in some deep trouble, Man,” Tommy said, shaking his head.

Technically, he deserved it. It was all his fault.

Juniper's tenth birthday was the first time she would have both parents, and her Uncle Eddie, off work for the whole day. Everyone was going to be at the party, even all of her very annoying ten year old friends, but she was most excited to show off her firefighting family, which very much included Uncle Eddie.

Except Eddie, after a very long and exhausting forty-eight hour shift, was asked by Smith if they could trade shifts. “I only have a twelve on Saturday, and I'd be willing to take your twenty-four on Sunday.” And damn if that didn't sound like a good bargain at the time.

It wasn't until he got back from a call on Saturday and checked his phone to see three missed phone calls and five texts from Buck that it hit him.

He was supposed to be at Juniper's party.

He was an idiot.

And should probably get his brain checked for forgetting the one thing she'd reminded him about over and over to the point of Eddie having to beg her to please stop reminding him.

So now he stood at the door with apology flowers and a present that would have been awesome yesterday, but would probably mean nothing today.

“Am I even allowed in the house?” Eddie asked, Tommy already moving to the side to let him in.

“Well, technically Evan was closer to the door when the bell rang, but he went out back instead of answering.”

Eddie stepped inside but stayed in the entryway while Tommy closed the door. “How mad at me are they? How mad are you?”

“Mm,” Tommy hummed, thinking it over. “I'm down to about a four, but that's because of all the downright pathetic texts you sent me yesterday after Evan wouldn't respond to you. Juniper is probably a nine, but I think she's more sad than mad. Evan is... Well, Evan is Evan, so.”

“So I'm in really deep trouble.”

Tommy nodded. “Oh yeah.”

“I guess I should get started on my apology tour then.”

“Good idea. The five apology texts you sent last night are enough for me, by the way. I'd start with Juniper today if I were you. Evan won't forgive you until she does.”

A sigh. “She in her room?”

“Yeah. Good luck.”

*****

Eddie knocked on the open door, standing in the doorway until Juniper hopefully gave him the all clear to enter.

She was facing away from him, sitting at her desk and carefully applying polish to her fingernails. The knock caused her to swivel in her chair, but the smile she had faded quickly when she saw Eddie there. She turned back around.

“I thought you were Papa,” she grumbled out.

“No, just me. Can I come in, Chewy?”

She shrugged. “Free country.”

For all the ways she was turning into her own person, she still contained so much of her dads attitudes.

Eddie walked into the room and over to her desk, setting the flowers down beside her. “That's part of my apology,” he explained, then he set her gift on the other side of her. “That's for your birthday. Your nails look very nice, by the way.”

It was something she had been getting into lately. She loved trying new polishes. Right now she was applying a shimmery blue, and she had done so almost perfectly. She practiced on Tommy a lot. His toes had a new color every week.

The present Eddie had gotten her was a new polish kit that had come out. It was apparently a huge deal with tweens... and she was supposed to have it yesterday so she could do all her friends nails.

“I don't know if- if you know this,” she said, twisting the cap back on her polish, “but my birthday was yesterday.”

Eddie went over to her bed, tossing some stuffed animals to the side before he sat down. “I know, Juniper,” he started, hoping she'd eventually look his way, “and I'm sorry. I made a stupid mistake, I know I did. There's no excuse, but I am sorry.”

Juniper sighed. She stared down at her nails, watching them shine as she moved them around. “Papa told me I should forgive you.”

“That's nice of him.”

“Daddy told me it was, um, it was up to me.”

“That... sounds like your dad.”

“Then Papa told Daddy that people make mistakes, and a- as long as people really try to do better and mean that they're sorry, we should forgive them.”

“That's good advice,” Eddie agreed.

“Then Daddy told Papa that certain mistakes shouldn't be made in the first place and people should make an- an effort to show up.”

“Well, everyone has the right to feel however they feel,” Eddie reasoned.

“Then,” she continued with an exasperated breath, “they kept talking back and forth so I just came in my room.”

Sometimes Eddie wished he could be a fly on the wall to see what kinds of conversations happen in this house.

This was not one of those times.

“Well, Chewy, I- I hope you do forgive me, but I understand if you need more time, okay? I'll make it up to you however I can, but if you want me to leave you alone for a while I will.”

When Juniper didn't respond, Eddie got up and started for the door. “I'll see ya, Juniper.”

“Wait.”

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to see that Juniper was facing him now. “Yeah?”

“Are you really sorry?”

“I'm really sorry.”

“And you promise you won't do it again?”

“I-” Eddie paused, “I promise I will do my best to make sure I never make you sad again.”

Her eyes narrowed. “That is- is not the same.”

“It's the best I can do, Kid.”

She eyed him for a minute before seemingly coming to a conclusion. “Fine. I forgive you.”

“You do?”

“Mhm. You said you'd make it up to me, right?”

There's always a catch.

“Yes... Yes, I did.”

She smiled brightly, folding her hands together. “Can we go to Fun Zone today? It's a trampoline park and it's like th- the best place to go ever! Can we go?”

Well, that didn't seem like too much of an ask.

“Sure,” he replied. “Let me clear it with your dads first, but I'm sure it'll be fine.”

She clapped excitedly, her nose scrunching up with her grin. “Yay! I'm gonna get ready!”

Eddie glanced at his watch. “We'll head out in a few minutes, okay? I gotta talk to your dad first.”

The look on Juniper's face changed. “Ohh,” she grimaced. “I think Daddy's more mad than me. Here.” She hopped off her chair and picked up the flowers Eddie had given her. She pulled out one of the miniature roses and handed it to him. “Give this to Daddy. It might help.”

Under any other circumstance, Eddie might have laughed at the serious expression on her face, but not this time. After all, Juniper got her stubbornness from somewhere, and that somewhere was definitely Buck.

*****

Tommy was on the couch reading a magazine when Eddie came out to the living room. “How'd it go?” he asked.

“I've been officially forgiven,” Eddie informed him. “Although it did take a bit of a bribe. We're gonna go to some trampoline park thing after I talk to Buck.”

Tommy perked up at the mention of the park. “You mean Fun Zone?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Tommy snorted. “Oh, she's good. She is good.”

“What?” Eddie asked nervously. “Why?”

“On Sunday's kids get endless free ice cream. Endless ice cream, trampolines, they've got zip lines, obstacle courses, rope climbing, stuff like that. Add it all together and-”

“And she's gonna vomit in my truck.”

Tommy nodded. “I'd take a bag.”

“She's punishing me, isn't she?”

“We must all pay for our sins, Eddie,” Tommy replied, dramatically flipping the page of his magazine.

“Is Buck outside still?”

“Mhm.” He nodded toward the rose in Eddie's hand. “Flower for him?”

“Junie's idea.”

“Hm. Probably should've gone for the whole bouquet.”

With a roll of his eyes, Eddie turned for the sliding doors and headed out back.

Buck was sitting on the porch, staring out into the backyard ever so solemnly.

“Hey, Buck,” Eddie began with a slow approach toward him.

Buck said nothing, turned slightly to fix his gaze further away from Eddie, toward one of their trees.

“Just letting you know, I already talked to Juniper and cleared everything up.”

Still no response.

Eddie sighed. He scooted a chair beside Buck and sat down. “Buck, I'm sorry. I was overly tired when I took that shift and the party slipped my mind.” He held the flower in front of Buck's face so he couldn't avoid it. “Juniper accepted my apology. Can you?”

Buck stayed unmoving at first, but after a few seconds he took the flower from Eddie and stared down at it. “You only brought me one flower?”

“Buck.”

Finally, Buck turned to him. “That was a really crappy thing to do, Eddie. Junie looks up to you, she'd been telling all her friends about her Uncle Eddie. Told them you were the cool uncle that taught her Spanish, and then you didn't even show up.”

“Buck, I-”

“And I worked on that damn party for two months. You remember all the clipboards.”

“I do.”

“A vintage, early 2010's birthday party? That was the theme I was given! Whatever the hell that even means! Tommy and I spent two months figuring it all out, but all she'd ever talk about was the fact you'd be there. Tommy and I are just her dads, Eddie, you're the special, cool one in her life. You let her down.”

As if Eddie didn't feel bad enough already. “I know, Buck. I know I let her down, and let you guys down too. I'm sorry.”

“You should be,” Buck replied, face tense.

They were both quiet for a minute, until Buck's posture slowly relaxed.

“You know I wouldn't care so much if it was just me, but you hurt Juniper,” Buck explained. “She still enjoyed her party, but she was really upset you weren't there.”

“I know, Buck. I really am sorry, okay? I'm gonna take her to Fun Zone today for a few hours and- and maybe we can have all her friends come to the station sometime soon? Give them a class on fire safety and show them what we do.”

Buck thought for a moment, twirling the rose between his fingers. “And you'll be the one giving the class,” he replied. It was less of a question and more of a command.

“Yes, I will give the class.”

Buck sighed. “Fine. You're forgiven.” He pointed at Eddie, “Never do it again though.”

Eddie raised his hands in surrender. “Wouldn't dream of it.” He groaned as he stood, his bones creaking in ways they never did when he was younger. “I gotta see if Juniper's ready to go. Mind if I steal your kid for a few hours?”

Buck shook his head. “No, but... Wait, did you say you're going to Fun Zone?”

“Yeah.”

“She's gonna puke in your car.”

Eddie closed his eyes, bracing himself for whatever he had just gotten into.

“Yeah, I... I know.”

[number1jeonginstan]

I'm only on here quickly because I am still swamped with work, but I have started writing again, so please don't fret.

I wanted to come on here and give some recommendations for some authors who truly put every fiber of their being into the writing they produce for us, and why I beg and plead you should support them.

I understand wanting to read quick smut, like some creators like I produce, but if you truly want to be immersed in a story and feel a myriad of emotions, here are my recommendations.

@cb97percent They truly are some of the most talented writers I have read in years, and this comes from an avid reader. Their ability to write a story with so much range and emotion is truly impeccable. They set up each scene perfectly, but at times allude to it, to the point that whenever I read their work, I'm truly entranced. I can still remember I believe last summer, I could be wrong because I forget timelines quite easily, that I was constantly refreshing her page to read Unprofessional. When I tell you it had me by the throat, from the first sentence I read, I knew that I had to consume all her work and I hope you guys enjoy it as well because she truly is ever so talented and deserves so much more recognition than she receives.

@straywrds Their ability to portray emotions through their writing is captivating. I can say with full certainty that I have enjoyed ever single one of their fics and series. I have come across several accounts where her fics make me bawl out and cry, my body borderline shuddering from the words on the page, but the sorrow and the pain is worth it. She truly captures the emotions of every character she writes, giving each one of them an extensive background. She makes you feel like you are truly in the story, feeling the reader's emotions every step of the way. Her writing is something I wish I could read again for the first time because it is truly impeccable.

@moonjxsung is another truly amazing writer, and I feel like everyone should check out at least one of her fics. From my perspective, she is truly an incredible writer and I have loved reading all of her works, especially her recent Bangchan fic.

@seospicybin She has some truly wonderful fics, and I have never in my life skipped past them. If you want something longer to bring you either a laugh, like her "Too Hot to Handle" series, or something that leaves you at the edge of your seat, confused about what's going to happen next, like her new "Roadtrip" series, I truly recommend reading her fics!!

@hyunjinspark is another author that I love beyond the end of the width. Both of her Hyunjin fics, although one has not been completed yet, are truly a story. It is like reading a book that just makes you want to never stop, never wanting to put it down. I don't know how I stumbled across her fics, but I'm ever so grateful to find them and immerse myself in them.

Again, this is not me saying that these are the best writers on skz-tumblr (I mean... they kinda are 😁) but if you really want to read something that's longer than 2k words of smut, I really recommend you check these beautiful people out because their work deserves an immense amount of praise.

[boobabietch]

Chapter I: "From College Phenom to WNBA Superstar: The Victoria O’Hara Story" | Diana Taurasi x OC

Warnings: Kinda narcissistic, kinda obsessed Victoria (excuse my girl she just wants to do good)

A/N: first chapter baby let’s fucking goooo, I’m so so excited about this series and I cannot wait for you guys to read it. As always English is not my first language so if you see any mistakes (I wrote this super high so there’s probably some) please let me know so I can change them asap, comments are highly appreciated, please let me know what you think! My ask box is always open too. Love Sof :))

Making headlines masterlist

There’s a funny thing about being a woman in sports, and it’s that being good is not enough.

When I was first drafted to the W, my back was in agonizing pain, breaking under the weight of everyone’s expectations. Having an excellent college career made the country ache with the need to see me play with the big dogs, some rooting for my success, but most of them patiently waiting for my imminent downfall. I struggled; climbing up that fucking hill was hard. But everything became easier once my mind was blinded with rage, and that anger had a name: Diana motherfucking Taurasi.

Growing up she was everything I aspired to be. She made it all look so easy, so effortless, and I wanted that. And the thing is, I’m not an aggressive person, not even a bad one. I bake for my teammates every Friday, I have friends all over the league, little girls want my shoes after the games and their grown fathers want my ass, teenage girls even write about me on Tumblr, for fuck's sake! I am perfectly fine!

Until that fucking game.

May 19, 2017

My rookie season. We faced Phoenix for the first time. The air was thick with anticipation, and I couldn’t shake the feeling in my gut that nobody on that arena came to see me.

There she was.

Diana was there, larger than life, owning the court like she owned the entire damn league. And the truth was, she did.

I knew this moment was coming, but nothing could’ve prepared me for actually standing across from her. She locked eyes with me during warm-ups, her face impassive, like I wasn’t even worth her time. I looked around and every person was the same, nobody really came to see me, not even my team. That’s when I realized that being good at the game it’s not enough, you have to play another type of game if you want people to see you, and I was determined to make them beg for more of me.

That was all it took. I felt something rise inside of me, a mix of insecurity and pure terror, and from that moment, the only thing I wanted more than winning was beating her. Proving her wrong.

And that’s where all the shit unraveled.

It wasn’t just the basketball. It was personal. Every shot I took, every time I drove the lane, I wasn’t just thinking about the score, I was thinking about her. The way she moved. How her voice echoed through the arena when she barked orders to her team. I hated how much I was drawn to it, to her.

My teammates tried to talk me down, “Vico, chill you’re obsessing,” Sydney said. But they didn’t get it. Diana Taurasi was my benchmark, my North Star. My fire, I wanted what she had and in order to get it she was the one to beat. Every game after that I took it as duel, a fight for dominance. I was determined to make her see me, to make her acknowledge that I wasn’t just some rookie passing through, because if she knew that, then everybody would know that I was Victoria fucking O’Hara, and I was coming for the crown, her crown.

And I was doing a hell of a job:

"Rising Star: Victoria O'Hara Leads All Rookies in Scoring and Rebounds"

"WNBA newest princess? O’Hara’s Rookie Season Proves She’s a Force to Be Reckoned With"

"Victoria O’Hara Makes Waves: Record-Breaking Rookie Season Captivates Fans and Analysts"

But it never seemed to be enough, until…

July 7, 2017

It was after another grueling game. We lost by three points, but I played the game of my life. I was exhausted, mentally and physically, slumped on the bench, trying to catch my breath. And someone towered over me.

Someone I was very aware of.

“Not bad, O’Hara. Keep it up, and you might actually be a challenge someday.”

My stomach twisted.

I stared at her for a weirdly amount of time, unsure how to respond. Hell, was she mocking me? Or was this some twisted form of respect?

Before I could think too much, I snapped back:

“Someday? I’m already a problem for you.”

Fuck, that sounded way harsher than I intended.

I saw her look at her shoes, clicking her tongue before staring at me again, a smirk plastered in her face begging to be slapped it out “Of course you are”

And that’s it. She left.

July 30, 2017:

We were playing again, and the tension was unbearable. Everyone could feel it. Diana was all over the place, controlling the game like she always did, like she owned it. But this time? I wasn’t letting her have it. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of thinking she still ran the show. I needed this moment. I needed to prove myself. To her. To everyone.

Then, in the third quarter, it happened.

I saw her coming. Her eyes were locked on me like a damn predator, and I wasn’t backing down. I made a drive, quick and sharp, cutting to the basket with everything I had. I was going to score, but she had other plans. She slammed into me, body on body, knocking me off my path like I was nothing. I hit the floor hard, my elbows burning from the impact. The whistle blew, and I stayed down for a second, rage boiling under my skin.

"Get up," she muttered, standing over me like she owned the place. "You’re gonna need more than that to take me down, rook."

The audacity. I pushed myself up, heart pounding in my chest, glaring straight at her. I was chest to chest with the legend, staring into her eyes, and for the first time, I wasn’t intimidated. I was pissed. “You think you’re untouchable? Just fucking wait.”

She smirked, like she’d heard it all before. Like she didn’t even have to try. "I don’t think, O’Hara. I know," she spat back, her voice dripping with arrogance.

That was it. That was the moment I snapped. "Oh, you’re just a fucking bitch, aren’t you?" The words flew out before I could stop them, and I shoved her, hard.

The arena erupted in chaos.

Before I knew it, she was lunging at me, ready to push me back. But our teammates were faster, grabbing us before we could even make contact. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears, my fists clenched, ready to throw. But the second I tried to break free, I was held back by a wall of arms pulling me away from her.

It took four players to hold me back. Four.

Diana wasn’t any better off. Her teammates were holding her down too, but I could see it in her eyes. She wanted this fight as much as I did. There was fire there, the same fire I felt burning inside me. She wasn’t just here to win; she was here to prove a point. But so was I.

We both struggled against the hands holding us back, trying to break free, trying to get at each other. My muscles ached with the effort of pushing forward, but no matter how hard I fought, it wasn’t happening. I could almost feel the impact of my fist hitting her. The unfinished fight burned inside me, an itch that couldn’t be scratched.

I didn’t give a shit about the cameras or the refs. I didn’t care about the technical they were about to call. All I cared about was making her feel this rage, this fire that she had sparked inside me. I wanted her to know that she wasn’t untouchable. That I wasn’t just another rookie.

Finally, the refs managed to pull us apart, forcing us to opposite sides of the court. My chest heaved with adrenaline, but I wasn’t done. I looked back at her, catching her eyes one more time. That damn smirk still on her face. But I knew she saw me now. I knew she felt it too.

The fight wasn’t over.

That was the moment I realized. Diana Taurasi wasn’t just another player to beat. She was the one. The one I had to take down. And maybe, just maybe, she’d finally met someone who could.

Fucking Diana.

"Rivalry Ignites: O’Hara and Taurasi Get into Fiery Altercation During Friday Game"

San Antonio Stars Victoria O’Hara Adidas Grey and Black Edition Player Jersey | SOLD OUT

Requests are Open!

Massterlist

[writingwithcolor]

Am I handling the black woman character’s murder well?

@selfdxd2 asked:

Hello! My current project is a crime fiction set in KY, USA in which the instigating action is the death of a young black woman (W), with the first half being another young woman (L) investigating her disappearance and how it correlates with the disappearance of her close friend. That friend (P) is later found alive after having been kidnapped because he witnessed the crime, and is the POV character of the second half. He is also a white man, and him being white is relevant to other aspects of the story. My intention is for the "credit" for solving W's death to go almost entirely to L (who is also a woman of color, specifically Romani), and for the tragedy to be centered around the unfair loss of life and the pain of her parents and others who knew W rather than how bad P feels about it. My main cast also has two other prominent black women with arcs that extend outside this tragedy. All of this is intended to lend to one of the story's major themes of social invisibility vs visibility. So does this exploration of that stray into harmful territory from the outset? I know successfully keeping away from any white manpain traps will take active caution while actually writing the story and I intend to get sensitivity readers as I work on it, but I wanted to get some feedback on my starting point before going too far down that road. Thanks so much for all you do!

It is important for us to know why this young Black woman was murdered to give specific advice. 

Was it racially motivated, gender motivated, or both? 

Wrong place, wrong time? 

Did someone take revenge?

Was she involved in something insidious? 

Was it truly an accident?

Depending on the reason, you should explore and acknowledge this violence and the existing societal problem behind it. For help, see the crime stats on violence against Black women.

…and for the tragedy to be centered around the unfair loss of life and the pain of her parents and others who knew W rather than how bad P feels about it.

Yes, give a voice to the people most affected by her death. Other Black women, people, and Women of Color. This will help further not make it about the feelings of a white man. He is absolutely a victim of the crime too, being kidnapped, so his trauma does matter and should be tended to. But ultimately, he gets to live.

On that note, his life being worth kidnapping vs. ending begs the question; why wasn’t he murdered while the Black woman’s life had to end? And for representation purposes, why couldn’t it be the other way around (Where the Black woman lives and witnesses the crime, and the white man dies)?

This is why knowing your reasoning for her death is so important. 

Otherwise, if she was thoughtlessly murdered, it does feel like her life was incredibly devalued in your story due to her being a Black woman. It’s a serious and true problem, so I'm not saying not to write this. This just needs careful exploring. If you’re choosing to bring this real life problem into your story, it deserves full and respectful acknowledgement. 

Please check out our resources on writing tragic material, Black suffering and abuse and avoiding exploitation. 

More reading: tragedy exploitation tag

~Mod Colette

[grimoireofhayley]

Of Friends and Horror

Stu Macher x Fem!Reader x Billy Loomis

WARNINGS: Graphic content, eventual Smut (MINORS DNI), Language, Talks of SA (rape), Cheating, Obsessiveness, Gore, 18+ content, Stalking, Jealousy, Angst, Possessiveness, (let me know if there’s more that needs to be added!)

Word Count: 1.02k

Tag List: @ev3ningrain @nerdytif @m-the-little-witch

A/N: Ah, I hope y’all feel lucky. Two chapters in one day! I hope you enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed writing it. I hope I captured Randy, Billy, and Stu’s personality correctly. Thank you so much for reading! I’m hoping I’d get an update out tomorrow, but if not, it should be up later on this week at some point so keep an eye open. I also wrote this on my iPad, so I apologize if there’s any grammatical errors. I’ll proofread again tomorrow and put out an updated version. Oh, again, if you wanna be added to the tag list, just comment down below. Thank you :)

All chapter links! 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

OF&H Masterlist

Chapter 3

“Remember, your principal loves you, and I want you to be safe. All students are encouraged to return to their homes promptly from school grounds…” The principal spoke over the PA, “Avoid strangers, walk in twos and threes—“

You pinched the bridge of your nose, visibly stressed from all the questioning. You haven’t a clue why you were so upset about everything, you weren’t the killer, but for some reason it felt like you were. Maybe you should’ve lied? Twisted the story a bit so you didn’t reveal you were a mistress at some point in your life.

“I am a slut..” You mumbled, dragging your fingers down your face, causing your eyes to droop. “Now Brooke is definitely going to find out, how am I to confront her on that?” You asked no one in particular.

You stared at the vibrant blue sky, squinting when the sun flashed your eyes. “Have mercy on me, please?” You begged the man upstairs, not expecting an answer in return.

“What kind of questions did they ask you, Sid?” You heard Tatum’s voice in the distance.

You blew a raspberry, putting your brave face on and sauntered over to your friend group at the fountain.

“They asked if I knew Casey…” Sidney’s voice soon followed.

“Hi, guys!” You chirped, sitting in front of Stu, Billy, Tatum and Sidney, unintentionally stopping their conversation.

“Hello, Sweetcheeks!” Stu blurted, eyes glazing over you, a small smirk planted on his lips. “What took you so long?” He groaned, “It’s always so boring when you aren’t here!” He frowned, tossing his head back.

“Gee, thanks Stu..” Tatum snipped, causing you to giggle.

You looked over to Billy, seeing Sidney leaning against his legs, your face contorting in disgust as jealousy was creeping up on you. You mentally slapped yourself, looking away and back at Stu.

“Uh, they had me stay longer for questioning…” You admitted, leaning back against your bag, stretching out your legs.

“Huh? Why?” Billy asked, curiously.

“Yeah, why’s that?” Sidney mumbled.

You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat.

“Just reasons, I guess.”

“Speaking of questioning, did they ask if you like to hunt?” Stu looked at Billy and Randy who seemed to have shown up out of nowhere.

“Yeah, they did. Did they ask you?” Billy answered and probed, Randy nodded in agreement.

“Hunt? Why would they ask you if you liked to hunt?” Tatum voiced.

“Because their bodies were gutted.” Randy spoke up, shoving a peanut in his mouth.

“They didn’t ask me if I liked to hunt…” both Sidney and Tatum declared.

Stu looked around, but his eyes always seemed to land on you, which caused you to blush, and chew on your fingernail.

“‘Cause there’s no way a girl could’ve killed ‘em..” Stu laughed.

“That’s bullshit. The killer could easily be female, basic instinct.”

“That was an ice pick. Not exactly the same thing…” Randy butted in.

“Yeah, Casey and Steve were completely hollowed out. And the fact is, it takes a man to do something like that.” Stu grinned, still staring at you without realizing it.

You leaned in, placing your chin on the palm of your hand. “Really now? If that’s so, then why did they ask me if I liked to hunt, Stu?” You smirked, catching all of them off guard. “Like Tatum said, the killer could easily be a girl. Though, with how they were killed it was clearly a man. They’re all the same, messy. They like to play with their prey. A woman on the other hand, knows how to get things done, swiftly and cleanly. Why do you think they don’t get caught as easily?” You finished your statement. Drumming your fingers across your lap in triumph.

“That was— I was not expecting that.” Stu laughed loudly, bewilderment lingering around him like an aroma of some sorts. Billy was just as shocked, but more amused.

However, Sidney wasn’t having it. “How… How do you gut someone?” She asked.

“You take a knife—“ Stu started and Billy looked up from his lunch. “And you slit ‘em from the groin to the sternum..”

“Hey.” Billy cut Stu off, glaring at him. “It’s called tact, you fuckrag.”

You sighed, shaking your head.

“Hey, (Y/n)..” Sidney asked, ignoring Billy and Stu’s former conversation.

Your ears perked and you looked at her confused.

“Didn’t you used to date Steve Orth?”

‘Now how in the fuck could she have possibly known that…’ You thought, your ears turning red from anger and you clenched your fist.

“Yeah, for like a couple of months..”

“Hold up, did I miss a chapter or something? When the hell did you date him?” Billy asked, looking somewhat pissed.

“Uh, yeah, I have to agree with Billy here.. when the hell did that happen?” Tatum’s eyes widened, she felt betrayed.

“Jesus, guys, it was only a couple of months, I don’t even know how Sidney found out.” You started, shooting Sidney a glare.

“Can we change the subject, please?”

“Did you sleep with him?” Stu mumbled, starting to get irritated as well.

“All of you, please just shut up. It is not a big deal.” You demanded.

“Are the police aware that you dated the victim?” Randy asked, ignoring your pleas.

“Hey, what are you saying? That I killed both Casey and Steve?” Your mouth gaped at the accusation.

“It just makes sense, ex-girlfriend not over the relationship, gets jealous seeing her lover with someone else… You know, the scorned ex who kills for revenge!” Randy shouted, earning a few stares in the process from passersby’s.

“(Y/n) was with me last night, okay?” Billy spoke, winking at you from behind Sidney.

“Yeah, I was…” You stated, catching Sidney’s eyes darting your way.

“Was that before or after you sliced them up?”

“Hold on, you went to (Y/n)‘s after you came by my place? You said you were going to Stu’s!” Sidney flared her nostrils, anger bubbling to the surface.

“Oh, brother…” You whispered, face-palming. Seeing Sidney hurriedly packing up her things, she didn’t give neither you or Billy time to explain...

<- Previous Next ->

[doll-elvis]

PRISCILLA (2023)

~ my thoughts as an elvis fan

(credit to @urpinkstargirl for the photo)

WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD:

so I saw it last night and I’ve been stewing on it ever since as I wanted to be 100% sure in myself before saying this publicly

**brace yourselves**

After just one viewing… I feel confident in saying that I preferred this film over “Elvis” 2022 🤧. It was just so immersive and so deeply intimate that I walked away from the theater feeling like I had just lived a life with Elvis, and experienced all the ugly and wonderful things that came with it

I am seeing it again tonight and possibly tomorrow just to recapture that feeling (which made me cry… three times…)

And although I’m not the biggest fan of Sofia Coppola, there is simply no denying that she has perfected showing “girlhood” in film, and making the most unique experiences, like being Marie Antoinette and being Priscilla Presley, somehow universal to everybody. I haven’t felt being “14” since I was 14, which was a whole 5 years ago, but WHEW… I most definitely felt 14 again when watching Priscilla navigate life in Germany

Also- we all saw how Austin Butler was completely cheated out of an Oscar and so I’m begging that we do not do that again. Give the Oscar to Cailee Spaeny (who played Priscilla) right now 😤 There are no words besides “immaculate” to describe her performance. Her future is so bright as an actress, I just cannot wait to follow her career + she just seems like the sweetest person ever??

And I know it might seem insane to say that I preferred “Priscilla” over “Elvis” and some of y’all might crucify me for that take but my preference solely comes down to the fact that I appreciate Priscilla’s perspective much more so than the Colonel’s, who to me, has always been the least interesting aspect of Elvis’ story

My biggest gripe with having the Colonel narrative/tell Elvis’ life in the 2022 film is the fact that it made the film feel rather impersonal to Elvis as I don’t think the script or the storytelling ever fully allowed for Austin Butler to explore what he was like beyond the stage

And personally speaking, I have a much deeper love for Elvis the person as opposed to Elvis the performer, and I think that “Priscilla” showed the human side of him far more than “Elvis” ever did (like y’all we actually get to hear and see him reading his philosophy books in this!!!)

But before I get into what was actually depicted in film, and all my praises, I thought I would briefly state what I thought could have been done better. Don’t get me wrong, this movie was beyond amazing, however, it was definitely not without its’ faults:

1. If you have seen a lot of reviewers talk negatively about the pacing in this film- just know that they are unfortunately, completely right in that assessment. The whole timeline of Germany felt literally five minutes long, and the 70s also, felt maybe 10 minutes long which just made both the beginning and end feel rather rushed. Also there were at least 5 scenes that just faded to black before going onto the next one, and some very abrupt cuts in scenes which felt a bit awkward

2. Because this is a biopic, and because it’s based on a real life, there is no climax like you would be accustomed to normally in a film and so I think that the average viewer, like someone who may not really care about Priscilla or Elvis, will probably walk away from the film feeling unsatisfied- possibly bored. I saw it with my mom and my sister, and my mom was asleep in like 45 minutes 😭. The movie definitely got repetitive at some points but I acknowledge the fact that life is repetitive, especially for Priscilla in the 60s while Elvis was off making movies

3. While Priscilla (played by Cailee Spaeny) aged realistically and seamlessly, Elvis (played by Jacob Elordi) was essentially the same person (physically) for 95% percent of the film. For some reason, his hair was already dyed black in the Germany scenes, although we know it was brown at that time, and so there was no real transformation for him until Lisa Marie is born. The height of the actor was definitely jarring at first but eventually I got used to it…however…I damn near busted out laughing when they showed him in the Comeback special outfit 💀 His performance was nothing but incredible (ESPECIALLY THE VOICE) and so I learned to get over the physical disparities rather quickly

4. The ending of this film, particularly the song, was overwhelmingly sad and impactful but I was really disappointed that we didn’t get to see Priscilla’s and Elvis’ relationship after the divorce. This film ends with Priscilla leaving Graceland, starting her “new life”, which didn’t make much sense to me considering this movie was adapted from her book, which very much explores that part of her life, especially with Elvis

I would have really love to seen moments like this from Priscilla’s perspective ⬇️

excerpt from “Priscilla, Elvis and me” (avoid this book)

5. NO CIRCLE G RANCH!!! It is borderline criminal to make a film about Priscilla and Elvis and to not include their time spent at Circle G ranch ** which Priscilla has always said were their happiest times together **. I assume that this was likely an issue because of the budget and the fact that they only had 30 days to film but god… I would have really appreciated some of the domestic bliss that Priscilla and Elvis shared while living in the trailer on the ranch. There were many happy moments/sequences (y’all are going to die when you see the rollerblading/go cart scenes) in this movie, but I think their gradual separation/withdrawal from one another (post marriage) would have hit harder if we saw how happy they were together during their ranch phase

6. For those who have read “Elvis and Me”, we all know about the famed LSD scene that takes place and unfortunately, Coppola heavily missed the mark on it. We don’t see Lamar Fike making out with a tree, we don’t see Jerry Schilling in a closet- instead we see Priscilla and Elvis just kind of rolling around, laughing amongst themselves while the room around them turns different colors

There were definitely many key moments/stories like that missing from the film, and I honestly wish that the movie was an hour longer so that we could have seen the book more fully fleshed out

Lastly, here’s just a general synopsis of the scenes in Germany… I was going to do the whole movie but I don’t have the stamina to type it all out 😭. If y’all want to know something specific please feel free to comment below and I will let you know <3!!

After the beginning credits are shown, the film starts with Currie Grant (who was renamed as Terry West) approaching Priscilla in a diner, inviting her to a party at Elvis’ house. After talking with her parents and assuring them that Priscilla will be looked after by him and his wife, it cuts to her in the back of a car, on her way to meet Elvis. The scene is exactly like how it is in the book, Elvis asks her how old she is, he remarks that she is “just a baby” and so on- Elvis then plays “a Whole lotta shakin” at the piano and that is one of three musical performances we see from him

Priscilla is then re-invited by Currie aka Terry via Elvis to comeback to the house again. Elvis invites Priscilla up to his room, she looks around and sees letters from Anita Wood, and a poster of Bridgette Bardot just like in the book. After Elvis talks about Gladys and how he is still reeling over her death, and how lonely he has felt since then, they share their first kiss to the song “Crimson and Clovers”

There are some scenes of Priscilla at school and some scenes of her sort of convincing her parents to let her continue to see Elvis. And they do agree, but just like in the book, they want to meet him first. Elvis is questioned by Priscilla’s father on why he wants to be with her to which Elvis replies that she is very mature for her age and that he likes talking to her since she is from home aka the United States. He then assures Priscilla’s father that she will be taken care of. After that we see them going to the movies where Elvis expresses how much he wants to be a serious actor, and then they share another kiss on the car ride home. It then cuts to Christmas time where we see Elvis giving Priscilla a watch and then BOOM- Elvis and her are on the way to the airport where they say their final goodbyes as he leaves for the United States

The film really does follow closely to the book (at least from 59’ when they meet to 69’- again the 70s were really rushed) and so I really recommended to read that prior to watching the movie

As for the more sensitive scenes-

There is no explicit sex, no graphic nudity, and no scene where Elvis forces himself upon Priscilla. He does say “this is how a real man makes love to his woman” but all he does is kiss her before she pushes him off. There is a rather long “polaroid-taking” sequence where it shows all the outfits that Elvis would Priscilla dress up in but other than that, we only see Elvis and Priscilla make out

And it did show when Elvis accidentally hit Priscilla in the eye during the pillow fight scene in her book, along with the scene of him throwing a chair in her general direction after she expressed she didn’t like a demo of one his songs, and the scene where he grabs all her clothes from the closet and tells her that she should go visit her parents. I don’t think that the scenes made Elvis look abusive: Coppola was surprisingly nuanced in showing that he had reasons for his sometimes bad temperament i.e the pills he took along with the fact that he was frustrated with his film career

It also shows Elvis’ infidelities but really only through movie magazines that Priscilla sees. So it’s never explicitly shown, I would say it’s more hinted at than anything

And there are two scenes of Priscilla with Mike Stone but again, nothing that is explicitly shown, it’s just hinted at

Finally, to finish this up, this is what I wrote on my Instagram account which I very much stand by ⬇️

Just please give this movie a chance y’all, it was so beautiful and so sensitively done… I cannot wait to watch it again <3