#i think it was a hard decision to accept
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wicked-cat · 2 years ago
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man, bdubs was insane for deciding not to make episodes for limited life but seeing what he does only from others' perspective is so interesting.. if he ends up making a single montage in the end is gonna be a masterpiece
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eddis-not-eeddis · 2 months ago
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Hello! I have great news! My mission internship in Japan was conditionally approved! The bad news is that I am the only woman who applied for an internship, and unless another woman applies I won't be able to go (housing and whatnot for only one person would be expensive, plus they don't think it would be entirely wise for me to be completely by myself). For my friends who have prayed that my application would be accepted, can I ask you to pray now that I will have a companion?
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hyacinthsdiamonds · 2 months ago
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I've said this when Oscar replaced Daniel, when Franco replaced Logan, and when Liam replaced Daniel, and I'll say it again now that it's been officially announced that Liam has the red bull seat:
Drivers are not responsible for the shitty decisions of team principals and the actual decision makers behind the scenes. Don't like the decision? That is absolutely fine, but get mad at the people who actually made the decision. Leave the driver, who took a job, alone.
You'd swear Liam was a freaking cartoon villain right now. I'm pretty sure this who y'all are describing instead of him:
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himbohimhoe · 3 months ago
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Holding out hope that the writing in veilguard will get more bearable but rook saying to lucanis that it's "not nice that Spite hurt him" and he "shouldn't accept that it’s fine bc it wouldn't be ok if a person did that" like. That is a demon. Built off a single emotion called SPITE. Rook I am finding it really hard to believe that u have lived in thedas for more than 30 seconds.
#wow the demons which are one of the consistently evil forces in these games did something bad#hey players do you know that that was not nice#ok thank you. do u think I am 4#dav spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#also grinding my gears that everyone (including dalish elves???) just immediately accept the evanuris are evil/have come back#like the first person to not immediately believe it is the first warden and honestly he is the only character so far I respect#like maybe if this was like inquisition and a huge hole in the sky/rifts opened everywhere#but it seems like nothing like that happened but everyone somehow magically knows about the ritual and instantly believes everything rook sa#the more I think about these things the more annoyed I get#guys did you know being a leader means u sometimes need to make hard decisions... varric taught me that in my ma15+ game#i am enjoying the combat at least lol and I like Bellara and want to see Babylon so I'm in it for the long haul#why does everyone have a gun to their head making them nice though like it's so painfully out of place sometimes#and being able to only say the same thing but in a slightly boring slightly funny or slightly serious way is driving me insane#like I seem to be the only one who had no problem w the limits on dialogue in inquisition but this is driving me insane#Mourn watch rook what if you were somehow boring and nice. yay thank you bioware#ALSO rook stop talking and forming opinions without me getting to choose what u say like no I don't want u to day we have to save that perso#ok I swear I'm done now.. I need to go back to writing my thesis instead of grinding my teeth about this game#this is all coming from an inquisition enjoyer as well (sorry) but like so far I have found nothing I enjoyed about inquisition in this game#maybe if the inquisitor and Ghilan'nain are cool latee on I can focus on that (big maybe)#I am only early on still (just met first warden) so there is still time... i guess..
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zoennes · 2 months ago
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30 NOVEMBER, 2019 • ZATERDAG, 09:41
#wtFOCK#Skam#Zoë Loockx#Senne De Smet#Zoenne#LOVE HURTS#Veerle Dejaeger#Nathan Naenen#wtFOCKEdit#SkamverseDaily#SkamRemakesEdit#s3#3x08#I remember people coming to talk to me about this clip the day it dropped bc they were happy about it and I was like…#have we watched the same clip? excuse me I’m still picking up the pieces of my broken heart from the floor#no but really I understand them both so deeply here it’s the worsttttt 💔#first she’s making the right decision but that doesn’t make it a happy moment. it’s SO SAD SHE IS HAVING TO MAKE THIS DECISION SHE’S 16!#OFC if we were still in Zoë’s POV this would have never been an issue but the writers really thought they’d convince me +#my babies had unlearned how to communicate SMH they were the best at it okay? this right here is EFFING BULLSHIT#but considering it’s what they were going for I get why they’re acting the way they’re acting and it hurts#because Zoë thinks Senne wants for her to make Viktor pay for everything he’s done wrong in his life and she’s feeling like her own trauma#and how hard it still is for her to talk about it isn’t being acknowledged by him…#and Senne oh he really wants her to do it bc 1- he feels that what went on is his fault & he desperately needs his half brother to PAY +#FOR WHAT HE DID TO HER! HE’S KNOWN THE GUY HIS WHOLE LIFE (PROBABLY KNOWS THE ACCIDENT IN THE PAST MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN AN ACTUAL ACCIDENT)#they have history and that makes everything even more awful bc he doesn’t understand why Zoë doesn’t feel like testifying#I don't believe that Senne would have been this incisive hadn't he ~known~ her ab*ser#I mean I think he would have accepted her decision way more easily if he didn't feel responsible for what happened 😔#she’s been feeling all alone in her anguish and at the same time starts pushing him away#it’s painful to see how the two of them are trying here. He’s so trying to support her no matter what#and she’s so trying to be strong for herself but her eyes are teary she can barely look at him it’s too much 😭❤️‍🩹
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carefulfears · 1 year ago
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thinking about "you have a life" / "i don't know what i have" + "what do you want, dana?" / "i want everything that i should want at this time of my life" + the perceived shame in scully's loss of normalcy... "unlike you, mulder, i would like to have a life" + "do you believe in the afterlife?" / "i'd settle for a life in this one" + "don't you ever want to just stop? get out of the damn car? settle down and live something approaching a normal life?"
her friend ellen saying, "well, first you have to get a life." tara, pregnant with their christmas gift, saying that life before one grew inside her was "somehow...less, just a prelude," while barren dana cries in the kitchen. "i know you and dad were...disappointed...that i chose the path that i'm on."
thinking about how mulder said, "this is a normal life," and how she smiled. (he doesn't know any different). how, in the end, he said, "hey, scully? i know it's not your normal life, but thanks for coming out there with me."
(christmas before quantico, "i guess i'm afraid of making a big mistake. dad thinks i am." and missy's response: "it's not his life, dana.")
her application to adopt emily was rejected: "you're a single woman who's never been married or had a long-term relationship. you're in a high stress, time intensive, and dangerous occupation."
bill's reaction: "sounds like something your partner would say. this isn't about any little girl, dana. this is about you. it's about some...void, some emptiness inside you that you're trying to fill."
and mulder to the judge: "the fact that she can adopt this child, her own flesh and blood, is something i don't feel i have the right to question, and i don't believe anyone has the right to stand in the way of."
(that last christmas with missy before everything: "there is no right or wrong. life is just a path...just don't mistake the path for what is really important in life. the people you're going to meet along the way. you don't know who you're going to meet when you join the FBI. you don't know how your life is going to change, or how you're going to change the life of others.")
and ultimately, it all leads to a leather couch. and after contemplating that sacrifice of normalcy, what she should want, the decisions she could have made, she says, "i once considered spending my whole life with this man...what i would have missed."
she could've been a doctor, like her father wanted. she could've settled down, married waterston, had a normal life, like her friends and brother wanted. but what would she have missed?
"what if there was only one choice and all the other ones were wrong?" / "and all the...choices would then lead to this very moment. one wrong turn, and...we wouldn't be sitting here together."
#i truly believe that what's made this show so lasting and rich to so many generations#is how completely in touch with raw human experience it always was. there was always this kind of bleak undertone of...this is how it is...#and very rarely was it ever overcome or accepted or boldly subverted. it just was.#the pressures and the grief and the traps of abuse and trauma and power structures. this is how it is. this is how it feels.#'people thought the storyline and characters for x-files made it a 'dark' show but i never saw it that way.#i always thought mulder and scully were the light in dark places.'#my favorite quote about the show and why i think it's so comforting. it's the harsh reality of the world#of which mulder and scully are not exempt#but it's also mulder and scully going wherever they are needed with their unending kindness and their perseverance and their passion#and they bring all of those things to each other too. that's why she chose THIS life. despite it NOT being normal.#despite it NOT being what her father wanted for her. despite it NOT being easy. she chooses it over and again#because he is bringing light to dark places and she wants to be where he is and she wants to be doing important work. she wants to be#'on the side of the victim'#and that's rarely supported by societal structures and it's hard. but like she says#what would she have missed??#txf.txt#you people make me crazy when you dismiss her decisions and act like she Ruined Her Life or mulder Ruined Her Life#congratulations! you've missed the point!#all things#emily#dreamland
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shima-draws · 1 year ago
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Actually genuinely started crying when Luffy almost said he wanted Usopp off the ship and then Sanji interrupted and yelled at him. What the hell. This shit is so sad what the FUCK bro
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sammygender · 6 months ago
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i just rewatched the rapture ohhhhh my god. such a good episode the jimmy stuff is actually fucking horrifying somehow even worse remembering claire grows up to be a hunter. then dean and bobby at the end locking sam in the panic room oh i hope they suffer. forever. he shouldve never spoken to their asses again
#im watching with my mom and she is having none of it. she was like BUT SAM SAVED THE DAY??? MORE PEOPLE WOULDVE DIED OTHERWISE#and as soon as sam and dean started talking in the car she was like Why is dean always so mean to him???#so true girl… you would do numbers on here#literally what good did it even serve. he gets OUT. they dont know he’s addicted they dont know anything it’s literally just because dean#sees sam drink blood and he freaks out and somehow thinks he has the right to fucking trick him and lock him up god im so mad….#can u imagine. i just dont think their relationship ever got over that. imagine knowing someone would do that to you#dean in s2 is all Omg i can’t kill sam :((( but he still accepts the idea that it’s his choice whether to do so. that all decisions about#sam are dean’s to make. dean can kill him if he wants. dean gets to lock him up if he misbehaves. it is harrowing!!!#the panic room is literally a punishment like there is NO reason why detoxing needed to be that hard#dean could’ve been with him talking to him it could’ve been something they approached together there are so many ways#he could’ve gone about it which still would’ve been fucked but would’ve been so much less worse#i literally cannot comprehend how you watch this show and come away thinking sam and dean are on equal footing#they hardly are from the start and they certainly arent after season 4.#after that stunt sam could kill dean and i’d support him#spn#oliver talks#sam winchester#sam & dean#spn s4
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itspileofgoodthings · 1 year ago
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my life is a very slow process of everyone around me telling me not to be anxious and me fighting them all tooth and nail while inching towards more stable mental health.
#I know it’s not true but sometimes I feel like if I didn’t have anxiety I would not suffer at all#which. again. is false#but there’s a lot of things I don’t want in this life and a lot of things I am not scared of and a lot of things I just accept#and like. It’s FINE#but all my suffering from anxiety stays in one fixed flame of sheer agony#and it’s hard because I don’t shake like a chihuahua in the corner of my bedroom#unable to move or function#I’m always doing things and functioning and joking at parties and (generally) saying the right thing#but it’s all located in one corner in the middle of my mind attacking my ability to make judgments and live with my decisions peacefully#like an unseen wound#and the distance i feel it puts between me and other people#is one of the most painful things#just several sheets of frosted glass between me and them#and sometimes the worst it gets is when I can bear it without breaking down and so I just do and I just keep functioning#and the cold just creeps in and everything goes kind of numb!#tbh now that I think about it this might be why I often think of myself as a person with no desires or ambitions or dreams#or impetus or forward motion or anything#because I DO want things and have opinions and the exist in flashes. But also they’re buried deep under several layers of protective apathy#so they’re not stable. I drop them many times. forget them ignore them imagine that they aren’t there. I’m sorry I’m rambling I’m FINE#actually when I talk about it that’s how you know I’m doing okay with it#when I can’t talk about it and am half-heartedly going through the motions#that’s the problem#anyway whew. thanks for listening sorry for all the self-reflection etc. etc. etc.
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anik · 8 months ago
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shes spent her whole life in terror of dementia because she watched her mother go through it and because of that we havent been like. drawing her attention to it and letting her not name whats going on as long as possible but the more she becomes aware of it the worse it gets
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void-tiger · 7 months ago
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…wHY do y’all feel the need to mention where someone’s at when they’re not around! Sure I have a crush on that idiot but I’m never going to admit to it, and actively avoid bringing them up myself ‘cause it’d feel like a freudian slip and it’s not my business anyway.
How often do I even come up in y’all’s home conversation. Is it out of pity? Or is this idiot just as insufferable as I am to my friends who are WELL AWAY from this and therefore Safe to repeatedly try spring-cleaning my demiromantic acengst with.
Are y’all pressuring them about me, too, or has that FINALLY, finally eased off.
(And what value can I possibly have, anyway. I’m unemployed and just shy of a shutin from severe anxiety/moderate depression and cptsd, adhd, and a smorgasbord of muscular-skeletal issues that just keep creeping up and staying and moving the goalpost to even TRY getting a job. The idiot has other friends when they have time to spend on them. All I am is stubborn enough to stick around and wait if I’m not actively being chased off IF the other party seems to really want that connection.)
#tiger’s roar#i am pathetic#and it’s hard to feel Good about being moved out#when I CAN’T work/keep a job. and how many credits I have to take to keep my scholarship makes trying to get a part time job Impossible Too#I’m doing this on student debt#and my parents won’t just Stop calling me spoiled apparently out of envy#that they’re able to spot my deposits and rent for the 2 months before reimbursement#and cover getting things like cooking utensils and used furniture and cleaning supplies#even though 2/3rds of what I have I either bought/kept myself OR are things they don’t want anymore#if anything. it should be a victory that they CAN provide this for me#where their parents’ couldn’t or wouldn’t#sure I got to move out whereas they immediately married ‘cause a kid was in the oven and the judgement that came with that#but they also weren’t chronically ill to the point of disability#and the chances of me marrying? almost zero. because I’m asexual and kiss repulsed and demiromantic#…sure I’m pretty sure my crush likes me back. and despite what happened last year their family really seems to like me#but even if they felt they did have the time and energy to just. ask me out? or hang out like we both seem to want?#I don’t think I’d ever accept that I wouldn’t just. drag them down with my stupid health#and even WORSE: make them feel sensually neglected ‘cause I can’t even think about kissing without basically gaslighting myself.#…friends can be supportive and physically intimate with hugs and whatnot#but me as a girlfriend? HA. I can’t give someone ‘enough’ without making myself feel utterly awful#and yeah. there’s a grief with that.#I’ll…try to let it be someone else’s Choice. not make someone else’s decisions for them#…but.
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I think I've been touchy lately about my feelings of access to/participation in generativity. I've been feeling really overwhelmed lately by how much needs doing and how much disparate but necessary information I'm keeping in my head. I should probably get back into my thought maps for the work on the yard and house, because I think that will make it easier for me to empty my head when I'm not actively trying to work on something.
#i'm feeling a sinking recognition that i need to build a life for myself that's functional#even if it means accepting norms that i have been trying to cight for a long time in my relationships#boundaries are weird and hard and i've never been particularly good at them#but if the comversations i have with my clients are anything to go by#i have a solid understanding of how to identify and communicate them#i just don't seem to have the will to stand by my decision when push comes to shove#so people around me carry on doing what they've always done#and going all shocked pikachu face when i finally collect myself enough to remind them exactly how i feel about their behavior#oh i have no idea you felt like this!!!#why are you so angry and snappish all the time?????#i just don't have any idea what else you expect from me i already spend all my time thinking about what i expect you to expect of me?#what do you mean that's not the same thing as actually having open lines of communication with me and treating me like awhole fuckin person#i work so hard not to take my frustration out on anyone#to be kind and calm and clear when I talk#to love the things about them that i love and enjoy the time with them that i enjoy without feeling compelled to seek disappointment#asking for more or different just won't happen so what's the point of looking to feel hurt#and i do have a lot of different areas of my life that fulfill different needs of mine#so i understand that i'm lucky and should really probably accept that i am much less alone than I often feel#i just wish i had someone in my life who was both willing and able to see all of me with affection#or at least. someone who was willing and able to take on that role and who I am willing and able to trust with the role#therapy helps#my new therapist is nice and seems open and understanding#but i understand our relationship probably better than most patients given the circumstances#i know how important it is that she never be more than a facilitator of space in my life#she seems good at doing that and i appreciate having the space again#i don't really know what i want anymore but i know i'm tired of feeling unwelcome in my wholeness of self
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jackass-jones · 11 months ago
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Posts about bpd need to stop being so damn relatable to me 🤨
#listen im not saying i must have bpd cuz of a bunch of relatable tumblr posts dont clutch your pearls on me#but hm im starting to get suspicious ajsjk#just been spending these past few months really digging into my deeply repressed memories and emotions and i keep discovering more and more#fucked up shit lol like first its being forced to acknowledge that i have a bit more than some ‘minor trauma’#and that ive actually just been like horribly abused like. my entire life and still am 😟#then it was like really trying to think about myself and what ive done to cope with abuse and like ive constructed an entire person#to just live as whenever im in the abusive situations and when i was removed from the situation for the first time ever#i had like a huge crash a huge crisis i both functioned way better than everyone said i would like suspiciously better#but also way worse at the same time#i could handle all the responsibilities of living alone i never once felt scared or homesick i was clean i was efficient i used money wisely#but i also felt like i was dying and i couldnt function when my persona dropped#cuz i didnt need to be that person anymore i could finally be me but then like. who even is me ive never gotten to find out#i dont know basic ways to behave i still have no clue how to exist or what i truly want vs what i pretended to want#its all completely muddled and its hard to explain that i cant tell whats genuine with me and whats fake#cuz ive been forced to live the fake shit my entire life you know? ive had to and i had to accept it#ive never gotten to make any of my own actual decisions and at the same time i have to decide everything for everyone else#im the parent of my parents but never was the child and the child is still there asking for attention but no one is there#then you know i had to return to the abuse and so its like i did get to taste freedom but not for long and i spent all my time in that#crisis mode so it wasnt exactly a fun filled time but being back here is much worse than before cuz now i know whats happening#and how i have to perform and its like how do i discover anything about myself in this kinda environment and no one understands the turmoil#the reason why something simple like wearing different shoes is so impossible for me#its just a horrible environment to be in i am in hell constantly ive no clue whats happening and im very obsessive over everything#aaaaghhhhhhh help girl help lol
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nanamimizz · 1 year ago
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i have so much mixed feelings about gale asking mystra’s forgiveness
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Ok so like.....*sigh*
So like in the show he basically asks her to marry him and she says yes, and they're both like "Promise? Promise!" but she keeps fucking conveniently remembering and forgetting "the promise to mother" like I know he's intoxicating af and it's hard to hold a thought around this man (I also have a very hard time holding a thought looking at him), but pick a goddamn side and have a backbone about it ffs!! Like you can't waffle on people like this girl!! You literally sat here and engaged yourself to this man and then you go off and do THAT???
I would like to note that so far in the (very drastically different) novel, there is no such promise ever made, and she fucks off to the steppe because she's mad at Ning Yi thinking the whole entire time he had just been cozying up as part of a plot to kill her so leaving bought her time, space, and a power base to fight back and he just eats the misunderstanding like "????? fine, come and kill me when you're ready, at least I'll get to see you again, I am ok with this." which makes a bit more sense tbh.
In a loooot a lot of ways, the tv show is about 1000x more polished than the book, but at least the book has fewer slaps in the face like this. They become a bit more obvious on rewatch, especially after pawing through the novel. (I hope the translator finishes it someday!! They picked it up again this past may after two years of nothing so here's hoping!)
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cerealandchoccymilk · 2 years ago
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im. really really hoping that livio gets a comeback in tristamp season 2 somehow. its possible!! considering his abilities in maximum!!! and he still has that super regen in stampede!! like please. give him back ik you can do it.......
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