#i think it was a girl tbh??? i think low-key it was a white girl i clocked as racist 😭 idk. pretty sure that was the conclusion i came to?

[xx-obliviousfantasy-xx]

Me:

-Is pulled to the ground from behind by my backpack

-Hits my head and blacks out

-Wakes up with everyone around me

-Everyone is literally about to call 911

-I have a splitting headache

"NOOOO guys guys guys, I'm fine. Don't call 911." *Gets up and wobbles home*

[astralnymphh]

car wrapper ellie tbh.. ౨ৎ

the vision is fresh in my mind, and nonetheless, i'm still THROBBING at the mere thought-up imagery of ellie thumbing and smoothing your car with such tender and trained pressure in her fingertips— you wish you were in its place. established as a side gig in joel’s auto body shop, she wraps cars day-to-day, hour by hour, arranged inside a well-lit, decently compact garage swarmed with the whole hardcore shebang of grunge rock and various metal genres (with a biased cling to nirvana tbh). notorious outfitting; bare, freckled, and sun-showered arms, cut delectably at the shoulders by an off-white ribbed tank worn and sweat through. those hips fitted in some low-waisted, slouchy denim, accompanied by a small metallic carabiner clip that holds all of her jangly keys. and— most markedly, stud-pierced lobes with an industrial bar bridging one ear; absolute hottie alert. now, besides appearance and attitude, i think she has some sort of inherent apt for making girls swoon. doesn't even necessarily intend to— actually, whenever she opens her mouth, a total nerd comes out! though what seems to shoot right over her head is the fact that all her oral mannerisms and idle chit-chats of, “you sure you don't want me to take a quick peek under the hood? could save you a couple of bucks..” which, with a tone so tempting and drawled in such a convincing ‘advertisey’ way, ends up easily persuading girls and brings the heat to their cheeks. so, when she sways you, you decide to slump somewhere and watch. witness; consume her expertise with your eager pupils. ellie assures she'll only be a couple hours— but to rephrase it, those handful of hours spent chatting, eye-flirting, and chuckling silently to yourselves, always routes the afternoon into her tiny office where she eats the fuck out of your pussy.

masterlist . daily click . read this . palestine mp

no i did not see those car wrapping videos on tt and no i definitely did not get this idea from them DENY DENY DENY

[humblefryingpan]

(Once upon a time au - spoilers for season 3 and I think season 6)

Ngl I kinda loved the Henry/Pan body swap I low-key wish it stayed like that. It probably wouldn't have been great in the actual show but I'd love to see that in a fic/au

Everyone really struggling at fighting Peter because he looks like Henry? Amazing. And I like thinking about if they kept it that way, imagine them trying to raise the kid who looked like their enemy

(this is an angsty and long post)

Rumple looking at his grandson and only seeing his father who betrayed him. Tbh, I don't think he thought of Pan as the same person as his dad in general. Like pre-neverland he only saw him like that twice and it probably would've been more "the boy my dad invented to get rid of me" yk? That's my opinion at least

So Rumpy knowing Henry was supposey fated to kill him and then looking like that guy? He would not have handled that well and I'd have loved to see him having more of a reaction

Killian seeing his stepson and trying to ignore that he looked like the man who killed his brother. Pre-neverland I think he only knew Pan from when he rocked up and tricked him into killing his brother/best friend/only remaining family? So going from that, as well as everything in neverland, to marrying Emma and having to live with someone in Pan's body would've been sad as shit and I'd have loved it. He was dealing with his own guilt a lot when he moved in and I think this would've made it just that little bit worse

Regina and Emma trying to raise their son while looking at the man who kidnapped him. Both of them are definitely "fight first, question later" girls and they would've had to try to unlearn that in order to not hurt their son. Especially since they knew Pan as the guy that kidnapped Henry and the guy that tried to kill them all.

If this happened then the way I'd have done it would be someone finding out he was planning the curse and killing him before he could kill Felix (to stop the curse and also bc I love Felix and I have plans for him). Since he was still in Henry's body when he did the curse I would've said they killed him before he could switch places (I forgot how and when they switched back mb, doesn't affect the au too much right?)

So somebody (Rumple would probably work best but readers choice ig) killed Peter/Malcolm while he was in Henry's body and he got trapped in that body with magic so that he couldn't escape. Since the body would've been messed up when he got killed, Henry stays in Pan's body.

And I mentioned I had plans for Felix - he was clearly very devoted to Pan, like he didn't even get that mad when he killed him. I'm willing to bet that if he survived he still would've defended him. But now "Pan" is actually not Pan, it's the boy Pan wanted to sacrifice and I think Felix would've been pissed about that.

So he'd also be struggling with this entire situation. Losing Pan, but still seeing him in this town. Knowing Henry he'd try to talk to Felix too. Felix would either fully isolate himself, seek revenge on anyone and everyone who took part in Pan's downfall or he'd follow Henry around, trying to cling to any remaining part of Pan's existence. Assuming Regina doesn't kill him that is

Or if you want to stick to the canon show a bit more then Rumpy could kill him after the curse was cast but before he could turn back to himself.

And side note- Peter actually looks more like Emma and Neal's kid tbh. Like Henry looks sort of like Regina's son, and I see the snow white in him, but I don't see the Emma yk? So in the "Emma loses her memory again and thinks she's a regular parent" storyline she'd just assume he turned out more like her, Regina could alter her memory into thinking he always looked like that anyway.

And in that version she'd have the two versions of her memory. One where she sees her son as he always was and then getting the memory of who he actually was dumped on her. And struggling even more with seeing both simultaneously, even worse because Henry also wouldn't remember.

Which brings me to the point of - imagine Henry trying to grow up looking like the guy that took advantage of his kindness like that? Every time he looked in a mirror he'd see Pan instead of himself (and there are a lot of mirrors around when you're being raised by the former evil queen).

He'd see everyone struggling to adjust to him, he'd know why, and he'd probably feel insanely awful about it. He blamed himself for Neverland anyway, now he'd blame himself for everyone's discomfort.

And like I said at the start of this lil au infodump, I don't think it would've worked long term in the actual show. I don't think the writers could've got it to work in some of the storylines, but Pan-Henry has been rattling around in my brain like a lego stuck in a jar since I first watched it. Basically I want everyone to be sadder and I want more Pan, the angst potential in this is incredible to me.

[audreys-diaryy]

Current wishlist 💖

I have been on the hunt for my perfect sequin bag foreverrrr! I’ve been eyeing one from Coach, but it’s a bit pricey for me (but that never stops me lol). But we’ll see!

My Birkenstock arizonas are going on 4-5 years old and they’re nasty, and the clogs are so cute!

My family and I moved last November and my walls are still bare 😫 So I still need to purchase some black frames for posters!

Still haven’t hoped on the adidas trend but I want to! Still unsure which shoe to get, but I know I want something from adiads! (Let me know if you have a fave)

Glitter eyeshadow palettes 💥💳 Listen.. I probably won’t wear glitter eyeshadow, but I can never get glitter eyeshadow palettes out of my head; AND ITS BEEN MONTHS! (Let me know if you have a good rec)

White wedges! I don’t have white wedges and I am slowly becoming a wedge girl!

I know.. a lot of shoes on this list - I think I have more shoes than clothes in my closet tbh! Anyways, black Mary Jane flats! I didn’t like this trend at first actually, but they’re low key the perfect shoe to spice up a boring outfit!

New iPad case! It’s not a must, but just want something new for the upcoming semester!

New desk chair! My current one is literally falling apart, so it’s time for a new - and cuter - one!

Okay! Thanks for reading ♡ Share your current wishlist with me ⬇️

— Love, Audrey

[starrylayle]

random but… I watched the mean girls movie for the first time last night… and man do I have thoughts (yes I know I’m late to the party idc)

Janis’ storyline… bro..I had to stop myself from crying then and there coz that would be too suspicious. The whole outed to the entire school, predatory lesbian stereotype,,, ugh that shit cut deep. When Cady, her best friend, claimed that Janis was in love with her, I just couldn’t — I had to excuse myself and leave to go to the bathroom lol. Ughhh it was so well-written.

I’m kinda upset that they implied that she wasn’t a lesbian at the end — but tbh that would make so much sense. She faced so much trauma from being clocked as queer that perhaps she is experiencing comphet…ORRRR she is bisexual but had no idea and didn’t understand that she had multiple levels of attraction (— I mean ehhh she could be straight but so much of her arc relates to significant queer experiences I just don’t think so). But ya know, this was 2004 and pretty ahead of its time, low key. I think I like the headcannon of her being bisexual (I mean it’s half canon anyways)

Her and Regina definitely kissed before they broke up. And I know that Regina initiated it then freaked out when she realised what that could mean. Regina is an example of such classic comphet — using guys to try and satisfy her desires when really she’s in love with her goth best friend from middle school. It’s real she told me herself.

Side note — that math guy that said he only dates women of colour?? Wow. As someone who goes to a school that is predominantly POC, all the guys are interested in white girls lol so it was nice to see.

Oop sorry for rambling guys — just wanted to get this of my chest lmaoo.

[hazzybat]

Hiiii! The last chapter was my first time reading Bo(jan) (or even really considering them as a ship) and now I'm low-key obsessed with them together??? I love that you're doing ficlets and was trying to think of one that didn't feel like it would cause spoilers, and I was thinking I'd love to read about one of the times Bojan and Jan had their hands down eachothers pants backstage (as Bojan described in the last chapter lol) Backstage semi public sex? Hot. Maybe the first time they messed around? Thank you!! And no worries if you don't want to write it!

i've been saving this ask and tbh I ended up with something pretty rough but it was a good little exercise to get me back into writing after my break. Hopefully you still like it even if it's very short and pretty rough. have some Bo(jan) greenroom sex. kinda.

Bojan and Jan were utilising the adrenaline rush they felt after their first concert together the best way they knew how. Martin and Kris had been stolen away for congratulatory drinks by their vampire clan and Jure had found a girl willing to let him possess her in order to get drunk. That left Jan and Bojan alone in the greenroom. Bojan found it funny how similar arousal and excitement tasted to each other.

As soon as they entered the space Bojan pressed his lips to Jan, kissing him hungrily, needily as Jan instinctively wrapped his arms around the shorter man’s waist. Bojan pushed him to the couch and straddled his lap, lips pressed against the werewolf’s neck. The incubus wasted no time, figuring the bulge he felt in Jan’s jeans was a good enough indication as any he wanted this too.

“Bojan…” Jan moaned out, eyes rolling back as Bojan sucked a mark on his neck, wanting to feed on the delicious taste that hung thick in the air.

“What is it?” Bojan asked, voice low and dripping in desire. He felt a hand in his hair and Jan pulled him back so the werewolf’s lips were against his ear.

“Touch me, please,” Jan growled, sending shivers down Bojan’s spine. He did so eagerly, unzipping his jeans and taking out his boxer-clad dick. Jan was a good size, thick and already leaking precome. It might have been due to Bojan wearing a particularly sultry outfit for their first gig, swaying his hips seductively and playing with the hair of all his bandmates during their performance. Foreplay was his speciality and he’d been working Jan up the moment he stepped on stage.

Jan captured his lips and Bojan’s hand sped up as it jerked him off, bringing him closer and closer to the edge. Jan came quietly, mouth open and hand gripping Bojan’s bicep as his cum stained his boxers.

He was panting as he met Bojan’s eyes, pupils still lust filled as he pulled the incubus close, kissing him over and over, his hand snaking down to cup Bojan’s own neglected length. It didn’t take much, a bit of grinding and touching and filthy words Bojan was shocked Jan was so good at using. He came muttering thank yous into Jan’s neck.

As they lay there, panting against each other, the door opened and an attractive girl walked in, her eyes covered in a milky white film. Walked in might have been a bit generous. Stumbled in would be more accurate.

“Oh fuck am I interrupting a feed or something? Shit sorry guys,” Jure’s voice came out of the woman, his speech slurred. Evidently he’d found a host with a low alcohol tolerance.

“Please tell me she can’t see us right now,” Jan said, his hands on Bojan’s hips, holding the demon close to him and using his body to shield any prying eyes from the mess between them.

“eeeeehhhh, probably not. They can’t… uhhhhhh….. see… stuff…. unless I let them,” Jure said, finishing his sentence much more confidently than he started it, his alcohol-filled mind evidently struggling a bit to find the words.

Bojan couldn’t help but chuckle at the drummer, his hands now wandering over the body he was possessing, ignoring the two men entwined on the couch. Bojan leaned in again to kiss Jan, slower and sweeter than before. He murmured a soft “thank you,” against his lips before finally pulling himself off Jan’s lap and going to the bathroom to help clean them both up.

[slay0368]

🎀🫶🏼 sanzu haruchiyo and his relationship with fem reader🎀🫶🏼

MINORS GET THE FUCK AWAY

Shitty writing,not proofread,sanzu brain rot

Warnings-anger issues,smut,size kink,hate fucking,slut shaming,sanzu being a dilf, ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE ABOVE 20,enemies to lovers.Yeah I think that’s about it

Sanzu haruchiyo

When mikey first introduced you as bontens new number 4 he saw you as a slut and nothing more but over the weekend he saw you with another man on his lap,laughing and giggling like theirs no end LET ME TELL YOU HARUCHIYO SAW RED. So it’s casual to say by the next day the guy who you were sitting on was gone ,done and dusted all together.

Eventually you and sanzu had to share a room for a mission and as you thought he went out and wouldn’t be back till like 6 hours later you whipped out your trusty vibrator NOT KNOWING THAT SANZU THERE HAD PLANTED CAMERAS TO WATCH YOU FUCKING CAMERAS 😇😇😇😇😇😇

So he planted them to catch you like tripping over or to catch your embarrassing moments but as soon as he opened the cameras he saw you using a bullet vibrator and let me tell you he turned the car around so fucking fast and sped to the house /villa passing all the red lights and as soon as he reached he barged in almost breaking the door and he low key says “having fun without me sweetheart?” While smirking. I AM DEAD. Y/n “fuck” “oh no honey I’m gonna fuck you now” when sanzu said those words she gasped and her mouth fell open when she saw him taking out his dick and let me tell you he was big- “sanzu I don’t think it’ll fit” “oh sweetheart I’ll make it fit”

and when he sees your expression he puts on his smug smile “ bigger than you expected right but you’re a big girl you can take it right?” It wasn’t a question and you knew “now use your big girl words and tell me what you want slut”

The look on his face when you tell him your a virgin- he was grinning like a mad man (I meaannnnn he already is one- 🥰😇🤡 )

“Awww my poor slut never had dick in her life huh don’t worry I’m gonna help with that”he said while scissoring you open with his long fingers and as you get wet enough he lines the tip of his cock and runs it up and down your slit “if you really want this dick then beg for it whore” as embarrassing the scene would’ve been sanzu enjoyed seeing your flushed face while begging him to fuck you like the whore you are “ please sanzu I want you to make me feel good I promise I’ll be a good girl” that was enough for him to push inside you slowly since he was kind enough to see that your a virgin

“Sanzu it hurts,hurts s much” you try to say but sanzu just sushes you and says “your the one begging for this dick right? Then take it like a good whore”

As he bottoms out blood can be seen dripping underneath both of them staining the white sheets. As he starts to move at a rough pace you cry at him to stop but he just moves faster “oh what was that? You want he to go fast right then here” “sanzu gonna cum” you say as you cream in on his cock but he maintains his speed, as you get overstimulated sanzus thrusts are getting sloppier and your about to have your 5-6? Orgasm damn you were too dumb on his cock to count “ gonna cum inside you slut, that’s all your good for” as his pace falters “you love being treated like this don’t you” as he cums inside you as you milk every last drop from his balls

“Damn you okay?” “Yea didn’t take you for the caring type tbh” as he cleaned you up and gave u food and cuddles “your mine from now on got that?” While cuddling you “I was always yours haru” you said while cuddling him deeper

The night ended with you both naked and cuddling until the next morning when rindou found you both cuddling under the covers at 10 am when they should be ready for the mission-

OKAY THATS ALL FOR NOW THANKS FOR READINGGGGG

Pls reblog and like!

ITS MY FIRST TIME WRITING SORRY IF ITS A BIT YK-

[rachelfoleyisntdead]

Oh,can I give my hot take since we're discussing the MK1 girls? Honestly, a solid quarter to a third of the roster could have been DLC, considering how little they do or contribute to the story. Reiko? DLC. Nitara? Package her with a couple Jennifer's Body skins and you have a Halloween DLC for the girlies. Havik? DLC. Kronika is literally just there to chat shit.

Also,there's certain storylines that if they really explored them, could get uncomfortable real quick. Nitara's tower ending comes to mind, considering that it pretty much implies that she becomes a human trafficker outright,which........honestly could lead to some interesting moral questions for her if handled correctly. But I don't trust NRS to do that. Ashrah's another one that they have to tread real light with.

Yeah tbh a few people in the cast kinda aren't doing much, but I low-key do get the vibe that NRS has a lot of love for the Deadly Alliance era characters, which is why we're seeing a bunch of them in MK1. I don't know if I think they should've been DLC bc we don't know what the DLC schedule for MK1 looks like but Sonya should've been in the main cast at launch. That was a huge miss.

Tbh, I don't see Nitara getting expanded on sadly due to the poor reception of her character, but Ashrah might--given her connection to Sareena and Syzoth, and that she essentially got upgraded to a champion of Earthrealm. I doubt they'll handle any continuation of her story with any nuance; given Johnny says that Sareena is Bi-Han's future bestie, and Ashrah expresses worry that Sareena is turning back to darkness, and that Bi-Han is redeemable, what they are probably going to do is have Ashrah and Sareena play a role in redeeming Bi-Han and stopping the Cyber initiative, and Sareena being 'purified' through the same means as Ashrah. Which is boring, but they're going for black and white and I don't see that changing course. But I'd be happy to be wrong and see them make use of the potential they have.

[uncriticalbunny]

I absolutely agree with your sentiments with regards to syd's yet unexplored sexuality but am I the only person peeved at the wardrobe choices for Syd, I appreciate her quirky, nerdy vibe but she dresses like a drab middle aged school teacher. Ayo herself has such a funky, unorthodox yet undeniably sexy vibe, she is gorgeous with an insane body. while the show does not need to have her in revealing outfits, some fitted or more age appropriate clothing would not diminish her character arc. it almost seems as if the show wishes to diminish her attractiveness, to reduce her desirability as a woman and thus vetoing any possible romance with the white stud Carmy, it always baffles me that with the exception of Molly Gordon most be ppl downplay the white hot chemistry between JAW and Ayo like it is so noticeable. there is real fire between them that any show runner wold have capitalized on.Realistic audience sees it, if syd was white, ppl would be shipping it. but u know the black girls gotta stay platonic

i think syd's style is quirky and cute and very in line with her characterization. the costume designer is black btw, but she's still beholden to storer's vision and gets input from the actors. she also did an interview, it's an interesting process! tbh even if syd was in drop dead gorgeous attire, this fandom would still struggle to see her desirability [as it generally is w/ black female characters]. it would still be nice to see for sure. because you're right, there is something to be said about it in the larger context of how black female characters in media are treated.

I sense there is a desire, I guess to try to get people to take sydney seriously by making her low femme. but it really kinda just ends up feeding into certain stereotypes. black woman -> serious character -> low-key fashion -> not seen as desirable both by the cameras/fandom -> ergo lesbian storyline w zero effort/straight or ace w no need for a romance arc. [sidenote: I think ayo has been lit a lot better this season [still not 100%] and they finally got a clue to focus on those amazing eyes of hers.] which I would normally be like whatever to these things in a show like the bear, but the show and its creators are doing and saying a lot of funky things about sydney, both quietly and out loud.

i've spoken about it ad nauseum and now I'm just tired at the circus surrounding the ship. i will simply go back to continue appreciating my completed shows with satisfying romantic arcs featuring black women whose actors/creators weren't prompted about and didn't cry every 2 seconds about ships ☝🏿 [the expanse and twd to name a few]

[roguelibrarian]

books I read in 2023

Threw together a list of books I read this year plus brief thoughts about them Just Because.

The Marsh King's Daughter by Karen Dionne - I was so, so ready to like this book and then like one chapter in suddenly got hit with the reveal that the backstory to it is the racist trope of "big scary Native man kidnaps a pure, virginal white girl to be his wife." So....fuck that shit.

So Many Beginnings by Bethany C. Morrow - Heck yes. Excellent book. It's a retelling of Little Women set in the Roanoke Freedmen's Colony. The author leans into how aro-coded Jo is. Also Beth lives.

Renegades by Marissa Meyer - Yeah, I didn't finish this one. I got so bored.

Common Bonds: A Speculative Aromantic Anthology ed. by Claudie Arseneault, C.T. Callahan, B.R. Sanders, and RoAnna Sylver - I mean it's an anthology, so some of the stories just did not work for me, but I am ecstatic over the concept alone and most of it was amazing.

The Companion by Katie Alender - Creepy as shit in the best possible way. My one complaint is that after 200 pages without a hint of romance, suddenly a character showed up who was so obviously meant to be the main character's love interest and that part was exhausting. Otherwise excellent, amazing, chilling as hell, and you know I love me some abuse narratives.

All These Bodies by Kendare Blake - I wanted to like this one so bad and it's not that I didn't like it, but it was just kinda...mostly okay? I felt like I was supposed to be creeped out and scared and tbh I should have been because there's some pretty disturbing shit in this book but all just fell so flat.

Sounds Fake But Okay: An Asexual and Aromantic Perspective on Love, Relationships, Sex, and Pretty Much Everything Else by Sarah Costello and Kayla Kaszyca - Bad. Just bad. Oh my g-d this book was so bad and irritating and just...if you want to learn more about aspec people or think you might be aspec yourself, please read literally anything else. I won't go into detail because I wrote a whole post about it here, but just...bad.

Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing Your Aromantic or Asexual Identity by The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project - So, this was definitely better than Sounds Fake But Okay overall, but there is a thread of deep discomfort with the existence of sex-repulsed and romance-repulsed aspecs that keeps popping up throughout the book. It is pretty clear that at least one of the authors (and probably more than one since there were several and apparently no one raised a strong enough objection to get any of this shit scrapped or rewritten) really Does Not Like sex-repulsed and romance-repulsed people.

The Wicked Remain by Laura Pohl - Second part of a duology, and the first book was definitely better. I low-key suspect that this book might have just been Once Upon A Time fanfiction with the serial numbers filed off. That said, I am always here for queerplatonic relationship rep and stories where the Cinderella character ends up single.

Song of the Lioness quartet by Tamora Pierce - Series of four books, but I'm putting all of them together here because a) my thoughts are kinda the same and b) this post is already too long. I'm not gonna say much because I have a whole post about this series in my drafts already so I'll just leave it with yeah my nostalgia for these books has worn off quite a bit.

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo - This was another reread and yeah it still holds up just as good as the first time I read it. Literally this is one of my favorite books.

The Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo - Another reread. Excellent. Love a sequel that's just as good as the first one. Also one of my favorite books.

King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo - Yeah I was on a rereading spree this year. This one is also so damn good.

Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo - Last Grishaverse book on the list, I promise. So good. Nina went completely off the rails in this one and I love every second of it. Really everyone went off the rails a little bit but Nina most of all.

The Pomegranate Gate by Ariel Kaplan - I have a post about this one here so I won't say too much in this post but g-d I love how unapologetically Jewish this book is. No stopping to explain things to any goyim who might be reading. No coddling goyishe feelings while portraying antisemitism. This book is for Jews and that's beautiful.

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson - Yet another reread. Actually, genuinely accurate portrayal of how PTSD triggers work. First sign of healing not being a romantic relationship but being the main character telling a shitty friend to fuck off. Literally the only thing stopping me from wholeheartedly shouting "I love this book so much" is that there's a random use of the r-word because this book is from the 90s and back then it was basically illegal to publish fiction about teenagers without having your characters use that word.

We're Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric Garcia - So I've got mixed feelings about it but ultimately I'd say this book is a net positive. Definitely recommend it for nonautistic people and for autistic people whose only exposure to the autistic community is through spaces like tumblr. Just don't have this be the only book you read about autistic people, you know?

[moriartyluver]

🦢 anon is back with the song analysis again

ok but teen fl + teen idle by marina is soo real

“I wanna be a bottle blonde I don't know why but I feel conned”- her feeling like liam is more privileged than her and feeling slightly jealous of him because she saw him as a white b who got everything handed to him

“I wanna be an idle teen I wish I hadn't been so clean”- revenge revenge revenge

“I wanna stay inside all day I want the world to go away”- her being an introvert as a teen and only ever studying and maybe occasionally socialising

“I want blood, guts, and chocolate cake I wanna be a real fake”- her putting on a facade

“Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible Feeling super, super, super suicidal”- the third line here is kinda like her being 16 and committing crimes ig?? Also fl low-key wants to unalive herself but knowing her she probably won’t try because of all her responsibilities

“The wasted years, the wasted youth The pretty lies, the ugly truth”- I know we didn’t get an exact thing abt fls relationship with Theo the pedo but I’d say it’s implied they probably did the deed. Like how when they were dancing in the Ashfordshire arc, liam said something abt fl having multiple partners in other aspects, also in the past chapter u mentioned that fl would visit Theo at night. I think she’d lie to herself and act as if she was just seducing him but really she was probably getting abused by him

“And the day has come where I have died Only to find, I've come alive”- fl having her grand duchess glow up post timeskip 👏 👏

“I wanna be a virgin pure A twenty-first century whore I want back my virginity So I can feel infinity”- fls issues with intimacy with Liam because of Theo. She probably never enjoyed the devils tango until liam came around because she was so used to using it for her ulterior motives 😕😕 also she always is getting fetishised and flirted with by the other noblemen to the point she felt she had to marry a guy she considered her biggest rival just to shake them off only for them to keep going and not understand how uncomfy she was

“I wanna drink until I ache I wanna make a big mistake I want blood, guts, and angel cake I'm gonna puke it anyway”- in the Noahtic arc, fl got drunk a bit and was probably using it as escapism for her issue of an heir. Also fls implied Ed ^^

“I wish I wasn't such a narcissist I wish I didn't really kiss The mirror when I'm on my own Oh God, I'm gonna die alone” - fl has slight self esteem issues imo so this lyric makes sense especially because she seemed to be a little meaner as a teen and rightfully so bc her brother literally died because of the British ofc she won’t like any of them. In like the second chapter fl made a comment abt dying alone and I thought that fits

“Adolescence didn't make sense A little loss of innocence The ugliness of being a fool Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?”- fl was suffering since she was like 9 and I don’t think anyone reached out to her tbh if she was really killing whole families at 16. She was probably hella merciless and numb poor girl. She also probably lost her innocence because of Theo and other weird noble guys

also she fits seventeen by marina too. If she was an mtp character she’d probably get angst edits to that one bit “I was brought up as a baby well you don’t know fuck about my family could never tell you what happened the day I turned seventeen the rise of the king and the fall of a queen”

fl is just sooo Marina coded idc

ALSO I AM BEGGING YOU TO GET SOME REST GIRLIE. u usually update like every day. We don’t need u losing sleep over false lovers I promise. Get ur beauty sleep 🙏

Stop this is literally a whole essay 😭 u are right abt most of it tho

Theo is literally such an asshole I’m glad fl killed him and tortured him

Bro was 20 and courting a 16 year old but wasn’t even following proper etiquette rules

Fl finds it so difficult to be affectionate with Liam all because of that stupid mf.

Grand duchess fl 🛐

Fls parents tried to reach out to help her with her grief when she was a kid but they were both suffering themselves and they were trying to find out who was responsible for fls brothers death while also suffering responsibilities as the grand duke and duchess. They tried but fl shut everyone out because she only wanted revenge

Fl also has really terrible self esteem issues but she doesn’t let it show at all. From her perspective William was just an asshole and she felt like it was unfair everyone treated him better than her. Paris and rory esque relationship tbh

Tbh fl would get edited with like every Marina song she’s just that Marina coded

Also I’m currently on holiday so I’m trying my best to get some rest after my exams. I’ll try to be constant with updates but tbh I don’t think I’ll update until I’m back home because my internet keeps getting fucked up lol

[nonclassyparty]

watching everyone discuss sr!sans irredeemability is so entertaining i love when there’s so many different opinions

however me personally i don’t necessarily think san is irredeemable but i wouldn’t be all for jump his bones either, i don’t think he’s a bad person nor a good person just a person who’s made bad decisions and is most definitely an asshole (at least he’s also self aware i guess…) but i do think for oc it would be better for him not to be in her life as he’s honestly just hurt her constantly and unless she completely heals and moves on from it he would be deemed “irredeemable” BUT also me as a person i do like to think people could change for the better sooooo….. but….. he’s hurt her so much…..

also to be fair depending on different characters’ perspective, oc could also be seen as irredeemable (i.e. boyoungs pov) so seeing this from oc’s pov shows san as an asshole (which he is but i think he seems even worse from her pov) and that’s why a lot of people think he’s irredeemable. i personally think he needs therapy (and everyone else atp bye)

i just wish for mc to have all the closure possible and for her to learn to love herself and have a good support group that loves her

this is why i love your writing tbh because there’s no black or white, good or bad, the characters you write are so complex and have so much depth that make them realistic and i love how you’ve developed them. honestly you should be proud you’re amazing! the way every single character you’ve written has made some kind of mistake or been some kind of dick somehow to someone and not any of them are perfect is why i love this series sm

(also low-key if wooyoung and yeosang in love or whatevuh and wooyoung her bestie will yeosang also become her bestie eventually…. if so…. looking forward to that friendship development)

take care of yourself stay hydrated and continue to be the baddie you are xx looking forward to the next update xx

i love when there are so many different opinions as well and its playing out exactly how i expected it to bc now instead of everybody being on the good girl's side and disregarding the mean girl, everybody is on y/n's side and disregarding just anybody else 😭

but yes absolutely, i agree with you! apart from y/n going back to him being a complete step back to everything she's worked on (even if he has changed and now decides he wants something serious with her, some hurt just stays and you cant get over that shit and frankly shouldnt bc how do you even build a healthy relationship over all the history the two of them have), the two of them together would just be a disaster i feel like they'd just enable each other's bad behavior 😭

and also yes, from boyoung's perspective yn is the irredeemable one and san is her ex-boyfriend and her first love and the guy she still has a soft spot for. it's all about perspectives!!

thank you very much for reading and enjoying the series, i worked so hard on it when i tell u cant wait for the final chapter to be posted bc i want to write something elseeeee😭

(and u know yeosang will be her bestie as well, she always liked him but the beef between them ruined it😭)

[farcillesbian]

4, 25 (+ music recs if u wanna!), and 28 for the ask game!

4. mythical creature you think/believe is real?

low-key believe faeries could be real tbh on like a minute scale. I've always liked to think of "small magic" being real, explaining away little things that don't quite make sense? also I like to think that mermaids and other mythical sea creatures could exist in the unexplored depths of the ocean... not quite in the way we depict them tho because of the extreme environment

25. would you say you have good taste in music?

yes I have the best and coolest taste in music (jokes) but well I do think I have a pretty interesting varied taste in music that I'm proud of! getting lost in interesting songs and singing along to my favourite songs are some of my favourite ways to stim lol. I'm a big fan of complex guitar melodies and synth sounds & some recommendations I have are:

the entire peripheral vision album by turnover (indie rock/dream pop with pop punk roots?)

pile! no pile! pile! by brave little abacus (midwest emo genre with sorta screamy vocals)

a girl is a knife by boxcutter (always gotta shout out boxxy, the first time I listened to their album sorta blew my mind. great lil emo band with a super fantastic guitarist. I'm a boxhead. vocals are screamy)

all these things by benton falls (more midwest emo but less harsh vocals)

trust me by sincere engineer (I love her she's so good. this is my favourite of her stuff but it's all great. she's like emo pop punk esque singer songwriter)

speeding up the octaves by hawthorne heights (classic emo rock. I love the entire silence in black and white album it's hard to pick just one song but. if u enjoy this I'd recommend checking out the whole album)

untitled #6 by girlfriends (just. so much fun. very math rocky sound. I love this song & this whole album is also great)

and now for some goth rock:

mondlicht by xmal deutschland

Судно (Борис Рижий) by molchat doma

wax and wane by cocteau twins

I coldly stare out by pink turns blue

dot in the sky by drab majesty

fantasmas by twin tribes

esfumados sueños by euroshima

silaluk by shadow age

28. last meal on earth?

THIS IS HARD. something with fun textures... like risotto. with a side of raw beef dish (carpaccio or tartare). and a beef kafta wrap from the Syrian restaurant near me...

[323398149]

It's been 10 years

I'm low-key not even a swiftie anymore (kinda, sorta)

I'm living my dream career (technically) (sorta)

And it's not once an hour, it's not once a day, it's not once a week, a month, or a quarter. It's more like once a year that I miss him. It's not even miss, it's more like think about and contemplate the past and relate it to my present.

I don't even know him. I just know the concept, the memory.

And I know that even the memory was terrible and gross and toxic.

But let me explain what happened recently that triggered these annoying, lame, over-done thoughts:

I got new skincare. I've been eating and sleeping well. I've been praying/meditating. I've been maintaining a positive outlook and been happy and hopeful recently. I finally started wearing nice makeup and I finally have the most fire wardrobe rn that I coulda only dreamed of in the past.

And so I've been getting a bunch of compliments recently of ppl telling me I'm glowing. Specifically three ppl from different parts of my life all used the same word.

But the thing is that none of those compliments feel like they hold any weight.

I already pulled the hottest guy in our grade. He was in love with me. ME! AND keep in mind that that was the ugly, loser, insecure, shitty, judgemental, mean (honestly SO mean), stupid, fifteen year old version of me. Not this sorta stable, medicated, whole, adult version.

Remember that gorgeous older white girl that asked him out? Or all those gorgeous tall academic girls crowding around me in grade 12 asking me questions about him because they couldn't understand how this RUSH loser could have been worth his time? and they wanted to know everything they could find out about him from me before they made their moves. Or when tiffany didn't talk to me for a year and then later apologized because she felt bad for letting a man pit her against me. And Jessica obviously (that one was just sad). ALSO LETS REMEMBER all of this was grade 11+12 so I didn't even have any communications with him at this point but I was still being interrogated about him.

Anyways my point is lmaooooo I think when my heart broke at 16 idk but maybe a part of it really did die. It's hard to describe it but I feel like a part of me is dead inside. Ever since then, anytime I've gotten attention I haven't felt special or grateful. I almost resent it. I feel annoyed that they're telling me something I already heard in a way more special way. Like they're parroting and copying it but they'll never be able to meet the magic or rush I used to feel when he said it.

There isn't a magic to it anymore. Now love feels very clinical. I guess I stopped believing in love? I guess at too young an age I became bitter and now just chalk it up to hormones and chemical imbalances.

And recently I heard someone talking about falling in love and I literally thought "agh that sounds terrible why would anybody want to FALL in love??! sounds like it would hurt smh". I just want to gently like drift into a soft stable comfortable kindness with someone. That's all.

Anyways idk if it's the new taylor swift album coming out (which pls be proud of me I haven't heard all the way through yet and I'm hoping to never hear it and stay halal) but yeah idk if I'll ever love anybody like I did that one time at fifteen which didn't even lead to anything and had zero payoff so it feels so wasteful and annoying that it happened.

But then I think about how like what if I end up dying alone and that ends up being the only thing I ever had worth remembering so maybe it's not so bad and maybe even tho it didn't pay off in a bigger way, maybe it was worth something.

Anyways but loooooooool like LMAO don't get me wrong like I know I know let's definitely not forget that it was literally NOTHING. Absolutely nothing happened but two teenagers feeling seen by eachother.

Tbh one of us should cash out on it and write a teen novel.

Wait after typing that out I just had a terrible realization. Lmaooooo jeez Louise this is why I'm supposed to journal so I can make sense of my toxic period thoughts.

With j I felt like "well duh you should obviously be saying that to me because you don't even compare to him. You saying that does not validate me in any way. I'm out of your league." BUT GUYS IT'S NOT MAGIC HELPPPP

I think I'm just finally grown up and confident and whole??? I don't feel "magic" from external validation. I know I'm a baddie helpppppppppp which I didn't know back then. Which is why I'd probs get hella endorphin release when he'd write those damn poems because I wanted someone ELSE to tell me good things about me. But now I know them in my own brain. Woah. Big thoughts. So maybe we're grateful to him for giving me that back when I really needed the attention. And now I'm ok with dying alone loooooooool and I don't need anybody to make me feel good. How interesting.

Well that was a weirdly wholesome exercise/rant. Glad we did this lmao @ my multiple personalities. Catch y'all on the flip side.

[missdollytheog]

But don't you think they are all the same block? Like you could see other models that look similar to Arabella.. Claire and Diba has almost identical hairstyle 🤣

custom made girls for footballers tbh it’s what they all should do🤣 I love guys like declan or some other players who went for naturals and in & out beauty they are nice guys. Others can do whatever they like🤣

Yeah I think Lauren is gorgeous! Kai's gf is as well. Ben White's wife is also stunning.. I think the low key ones and not fame hunger as those I appreciate 🥰

[bisluthq]

Also I was curious about John since I know you've said in the past that you don't think it was very good for her, and while I agree that them having sex was bad, I don't think that means the sex itself was bad.

I mainly think that because there seems to have been a mutual obsession prior to them going out. She had obviously admired him/had a crush on him for years at that point, which I would imagine would make her pretty into it, even if he didn't have the skills to back it up.

On his end, I think back to Jessica's book and how she describes their relationship, and a lot of it matches with how Taylor describes theirs in Dear John. In her book she says that he would like watch her TV ads and get obsessed, and then call her, fuck with her emotionally, and then dump her, rinse repeat. She also says that he was obsessed with her sexually:

"The connection was so strong that he made me feel seductive, and he spoke about sex and my body in a way that made me feel powerful, at least physically. Where I felt insecure in the beginning was that I always felt I was falling short of the potential he was in me. I constantly worried that I wasn’t smart enough for him.”

So his vibe when he's obsessed generally seems to be "your body is a Wonderland" (but like actually). And unfortunately, based on the way he talked about her as if she was a fictional character, and based on the fact that he asked everyone he came into contact with if she actually wrote her songs prior to meeting her, and the fact that he met her before she had fully blown up (post the success of debut, prior to the fearless takeover which REALLY "put her on the map") and stated that he'd "enjoy watching her career blossom" it very much seems like the whole "I saw you on TV and now I want to fuck you" thing happened with Taylor too (even though that moment likely occurred when she wasn't 18... 🤢).

Also Katy said he was really good, and I know you said Taylor probably wouldn't have been into the weird shit he likely wanted to do, but honestly, the way she describes all his other red flags makes me think she would've kind of looked past it.

Also, like I said, she seemed VERY into him, so if the weird shit is true (the only thing I've definitely heard was the piss kink thing, which if I'm not mistaken was mainly spearheaded by DM who generally isn't very reliable, and Lainey but like .. as a joke and without any real evidence outside of vibes) and like... I cannot over emphasize the obsessive factor. Girlie admitted she acted like a stalker when they met. I Can See You low-key has kind of a stalkery vibe.

But I also think that he would've been a real asshole had she not wanted to sleep with him/go all the way. Like truly. But I'm not convinced that's what happened. Anyway, I'm going to stop talking about whether she enjoyed his white supremacist dick now. The fact that they likely did sleep together grosses me out, and I think in retrospect, probably grosses her out, just not at the time.

Yeah I think John was just a creep tbh. I actually could buy they never had PIV sex which is why he might say they never fucked and where the “it’s PR!!” rumor stems from but idk if your 18/19 year old fan girl gives you a blowjob she’s allowed to be upset about how it’s all developing especially when you’re sending super mixed signals. I think John was gross for what he did and said and his overall vibe and yeah I think she thinks so too at this point. Like I think she realizes how messed up it was. But yeah obviously in real time she didn’t.