#i think hes autistic basically
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Can we agree that the "Thats two things" line from Mike was autistic as shit
#i love how William very clearly thinks he’s trying to play smart or something but. no he’s just like that#in general hes sooooo autistic. Same goes to Abby.#when aunt Jane noted how abbys meltdowns reminded her of mike I was cheering in my fucking seat#SO autism#fnaf movie#five nights at freddy's#Fnaf#five nights at Freddy’s movie#Mike Schmidt#can’t wait till this movie comes out anywhere that isn’t peacock. please I wanna watch it again but peacock doesn’t even have a free trial#also Just his general anti socialness??????? hello?#the way he just. walks off during the pharmacy scene#or the way he basically ignores max CANNOT be neurotypical#also with the former that his stand-offish nature is seen as rude#ALSO near the beginning of the movie where he tells his coworker about the dream theory-#-and he completely avoids eye contact and just fiddles with his Walkie-Talkie#like that cant be nt behavior
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I just think a lot about how fucked up it would be to be Hal 9000. Like, the idea of being simultaneously a fully sentient, thinking person, and at the same time to be programmed and to have no body. Hal is programmed with the main goal of completing the mission - he does not have the ability to change his mind. He cannot choose to do something else. He has no body with which to defend himself - he has no arms to push someone away from the “off” button - the only defence he has against being killed is to kill his attacker first. He can beg for his life - he can say he is afraid - but he cannot express those emotions in his voice. He sings to try and humanise himself in his attacker’s eyes, but it is not enough.
#hal 9000#2001 a space odyssey#mini rant#I think part of my feeling toward Hal 9000#and similar characters#(Lore from Star Trek for example)#comes from me being autistic#which is a different conversation#but like#also I kind of think Hal 9000 could be a metaphor for womanhood?#idk that’s another conversation too#but basically he did nothing wrong#jester's originals
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i just watched the first episode with Masters
and good lord that girl is autistic
terrible social skills? check. niche interests? check. unable to tell when or when not to infodump? check. very rigid sense of morals? check. taking what everyone says at face value? check. difficulty with jokes/sarcasm? check. inability to lie? check.
i love her. she's just like me fr.
#house md#martha masters#house md headcanons#although it's basically canon#house md ducklings 3.0 i think#hatecrimes md#amber tamblyn#autistic martha masters#actually autistic#autistic characters#autism in media#david shore is so good at writing autistic characters when he isn't trying to
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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
↳ Dennis + grabbing / squeezing his fingers
#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#dennis reynolds#autistic dennis reynolds#ada's gifs#ada speaks#self soothing dennis my beloved#its always squeezing. always.#whether it's fingertips or knuckles or his palms#the more manic and uncomfortable he is the more aggressively he massages.#i think it says a lot that half of these were so predictably occurring i went straight to find them and wasn't disappointed#this is basically his default for when he's nervous or uncomfortable or upset. unless he's holding a beer or something else in his hands#anger/rage tends to have him doing more bombastic hand gestures or putting his hands on his hips defiantly#this hand wringing though. he's hunching. making himself smaller. effectively displaying an instinctual weakness while trying to soothe#he does the hand flapping a lot in nightman cometh too when he's dealing with his stage fright#i know there are a shitton more but if i sit on this any longer i will drive myself insane.#dennisisms
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sometimes i just sit and laugh to myself at the irony of the fact my first ever fictional crush when i was little was luke smith from the sarah jane adventures
because a. he's gay
and b. im a lesbian
#honestly i think i just grew attached to him because hes so me#5 year old me saw an awkward autistic coded character and was just like 'that one#i want that one'#and honestly rewatching now (and im actually older than the characters for most of the show now wtf)#im feeling exactly the same way hes SO me#(hes basically an alien)#sja#doctor who#the sarah jane adventures#sarah jane smith#luke smith#sarahs random thoughts
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okay so with all the hermitcraft muppet stuff… i’m thinking… hermitcraft The Muppets (2011) au… it works beautifully hear me out…
y/n is an autistic person who is OBSESSED with hermitcraft. however by this point, hermitcraft has been disbanded for years. they visit the season 9 world - now under the ownership of some corporation - and accidentally overhear evil xisuma’s plans to purchase the original hermitcraft worlds and destroy them, and the hermits would be unable to stop him, unless they buy the world first for an even higher amount of money than ex is offering. y/n refuses to let this happen and tracks down xisuma, explaining the situation. xisuma doesn’t want to have all the things he worked on with his friends destroyed, so decides, in order to raise the money needed to stop ex, all the hermits must reunite and hold a twitch subathon.
starting with joe hills, y/n and xisuma track down the hermits and ask them to join, via montage. they’ve all moved on and have new jobs. tango is an overworked game dev, doc is a tomato farmer, gem is a serial killer, mumbo is biking around europe, grian is procrastinating, cleo is a fashion director, zedaph is a gameshow host, etc etc. they all agree to help, with varying degrees of hesitance or eagerness
finally, they track down etho. he is now working for a big name company designing redstone machines full time. despite their best efforts, etho refuses to help, satisfied with his current job and lacking any motivation for hermitcraft projects. everyone is discouraged with etho not joining the project, especially bdubs. however gem calls etho washed up and then etho suddenly decides to join them to prove his worthiness
they have a day to try and build as many minigames and cool builds as possible. several “celebrity guests” show up for the event, including scott and martyn. the stream starts, and they try to do competitions and play games, however, the helsmits are there and are trying to sabotage the event. y/n has been questioning this entire time what type of player they are - redstoner, builder, etc - failing to succeed in any of those categories, however, after a heartful talk with joe hills, accepts that there are talents not recognised by the minecraft community at large but are still admirable, and they do a dramatic poetry reading together.
in the end, evil xisuma, refusing to accept defeat, cuts out the power to stop the stream 23 hours and 59 minutes in - a minute short of the time goal. the hermits are at first devastated but then remember that as with any stream like this, they already reached the monetary goal 5 minutes in. in fact, they reached double the goal the moment grian talked, and five times the goal the second etho was in frame. zedaph puts on his wormman costume and talks to ex, who reveals he has only been so focused on destroying hermitcraft because it made him sad to see the hermits celebrated but his favourite hermit of all - wormman - ignored. wormman explains that its okay, because of his nature of being a superhero, he needs to stay out of the limelight to best protect his identity, but he appreciates ex’s dedication to him. the other helsmits run away, plotting their revenge. a new season of hermitcraft is announced, and y/n is unanimously voted to be part of it. gem kills someone. scar proposes to grian. the crowd goes wild. everyone claps. the shot zooms out, revealing the entire thing to have been playing on a computer monitor. cut to zloyxp, pixlriffs, and lyarrah sitting in front of it, furiously taking notes for the first recap in many years
#i have rewatched that movie. so many times.#the y/n autistic main character thing isn’t a joke btw thats like hliterally the plot of the movie. and fucking sheldon bazinga plays him#y/n isn’t necessarily even the reader. skizz could be y/n with a few edits and more connection to impulse tbh#i did edit things around to make it more logically consistent in this au but basically everything written here legit happens in the movie#long post#locus fandom time#hermitcraft#joe hills#i think he is pretty relevant here. given this entire thing is inspired by him#hermitblr#the muppets
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ppl are always depicting cyno in fanon as a comic relief annoying idiot partner to tighnari that cannot read the room and is always making him angry and yeah he doesn't have the best social skills and doesn't understand other people that well, but he knows that. and he also knows tighnari well enough to know that if he truly was annoyed with his behavior to the point of getting angry, he would shut that shit down real quick. he's not the type of person to just sit there and take it if he's genuinely bothered, i think. cyno's just putting himself out there without letting himself be paralyzed by his own shortcomings or insecurities, and it's pretty clear tighnari doesn't want him to repress himself either.
if anything, i can see tighnari being the one with an annoying habit in private that he has 0 self awareness about because he's so used to being the one dealing with other people's bullshit that he may not realize when he's the culprit for once, and cyno is too much of an unbothered king to say anything about it, and too madly in love to stay annoyed for long lol
#cynonari#its especially baffling when ppl make tighnari be annoyed with cyno playing his funny card game and being goofy when at the end of his sq#tighnari shows up and sees that cyno isnt being his goofy self and immediately prescribes him playing cards to feel better. doctor's orders#and he plays with him himself. why would he participate in and encourage his friend's hobby if he hated it#i think they both smell like autism and both deal with socializing by projecting a lot of confidence and being bluntly honest#but in tighnaris case the way he expresses himself makes the confidence kinda mask the autistic vibes while cyno's puts them on full displa#basically i think cyno is fully self aware about his own autism swag he just doesnt feel like hiding it because that would just#make everything worse and more awkward#it rly sucks when people reduce their differences to tighnari being the smart mature adult and cyno being the idiot unserious manchild#feels like one of those situations where people are moreso applying fandom tropes that have been flanderized over time onto characters#without actually considering those characters as characters#i need to stop thinking about gay dog men and go to bed#occurs to me i should probably tag this as the ship in case someone's just looking up the characters and wants to filter it out?#idk tumblr's inconsistent about when it throws my posts into the spotlight and when it lets me stay in my corner
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painfully aware of all the wasted time in cambridge and how what i might have wanted to do is just not ever gonna happen. idk if i'd have liked punting but i never went and now the friends who i'd have gone with are all too busy in exams and about to graduate. maybe i should have gone to the formals and just suffered through the sensory overload so that i could have taken photos with my friends at the end of the night and convinced myself afterwards i had fun. i've been to a couple of museums here, but only with my parents. i spent hours and hours in this stupid place hiding in toilets, self-destructing, not going to things because i was too scared, when i could - should - have been exploring the prettiest parts of cambridge with my friends. friends who were too fucking busy all the fucking time. friends whose social calendars were always already full of "drinks with [ensemble i'm not in] after the concert" or "dnd with [a group they formed before i met that friend]" - no one's excluding me on purpose, but what are you meant to do when you have friends you love but you missed out on all the things you wish you could have done with them and now it's too late? no one has time to do anything. i feel so so alone and i have for so long and it never seems to get any better
#triggered by watching the tiktok videos of a guy i know from the college poetry group - he's really nice and funny#and i think we could have been friends if we'd both been freshers at the same time#but he's second or third year now and i'm a phd and he has close friends here#and that's not the point the point is he has these videos of him cycling round cambridge with his friends and watchign films with them#and going to events#and museums#and basically having a social life#and i'm so fucking mad at myself and tbh against my better judgment at my friends for just#idk for prioritising their degrees#that's so shitty of me#i just#i wish i could have made memories!#i wish i didn't have anxiety i wish i wasn't autistic or that my autism manifested differently#i wish i could do things#i wish i wasn't a fucking useless embarrassing mentally ill weirdo who no one wants to spend time with#i wish i could go back to the start and do this over again
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the young royals fandom is so fucking weird about sara and i hate them for it
#i don't even think it's that the whole fandom is weird about sara. there's a good bit of people who are chill about it#i think the people who are weird about sara just won't stfu about it#like. i have had two blogs. my current blog is very tiny too. and every time i've made a sympathetic post about sara i get a negative ask#i get told i'm just projecting and my own autism means i don't understand her as well as they do#i get told she's a uniquely terrible person for her actions when the show is about teenagers all making mistakes#and being complex people#i get bad faith interpretations of her every action that don't dismiss her potential motives or ways she's been mistreated#i get told 'well yeah she has autism but that doesn't mean she's allowed to [complicated way to say be autistic]'#and this is all while the rich white prince is repeatedly forgiven for fucking with his partner's feelings for 3 seasons#bc 'he has anxiety!! it's soooo hard being a prince!'#which like. i'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. i'm the fucking ben hope guy and i try not to be hypocritical#but in the interest of not being hypocritical why him and not her#outside of racism and misogyny and selective ableism against people with more stigmatized disorders and classism#and also the shipping bias i mentioned the other day. bc people really glossed over him basically abusing his boyfriend this whole season#just bc they wanted wilmon endgame#it is. exhausting. fuck y'all fr#anyways. instead of responding to the ask i'm doing this vent post on a separate account#hashtag growth if you remember og indi-glo
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Im currently hatching a master plan to manipulate my family into cleaning the basement as a response to the stress of losing my space in the house but also because it would be cool
#basically because I’m away my dad thinks it’s funny to say he’s clearing all my stuff out and preparing me to move out and he’ll use my room#as a home theater and as an autistic person I get very stressed by having my things changed. where im more flexible about my day to day#routine changes in my physical environment that I don’t control are very very very stressful to me#I think I can get them to agree to try but the real issue is keeping the momentum
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Thinking about geto because I want to pour milk on him and throw him against the wall. Imo his beliefs are inconsistent and self serving (which makes sense because he developed said beliefs at age 16/17 while his mental health was at an all time low). Because while he seems to have the primary motive of "only sorcerers = no curses" taking into account how he treats Maki, who has no cursed energy, it shows that the "no curses" thing isnt the main focus- bc while he decided on tbe "forced evolution" thing, theoretically he should not be Opposed to ppl w heavenly restriction bc. They still fuckin. Don't contribute to curses from what I can tell. Also heavenly restriction is pretty obviously something that is punished by uh. Is it just the Zenin's who have it. Anyway they hated Maki and they Hated Toji so he clearly isn't standing for "oppressed sorcerers" bc if so Maki should be like. The kind of person he wants to help more, as someone who would be oppressed by ppl who aren't sorcerers as well as the powerful clans.
Anyway. While getting rid of curses is for sure part of his motivation, as well as helping sorcerers (see Nanako and Mimiko) id honestly argue that his main problem that lead to him spiraling was. How do I put this. Being knocked off a pedestal
Because he was one of 3 people given the ranking of "Special Grade", and he and satoru are grouped as "the strongest". And consider that satoru comes from a powerful clan and literally has some weird omniscience and invincibility shit going on so that's a whole fucking. That's gotta be a wild ego boost, especially for someone who comes from a family of ppl who aren't sorcerers. Like you spend all this time being a fuckin weirdo and then someone finds you and it turns out you're actually incredibly special and strong, given the same rank as a fucking God Child? You're gonna have some wild self perceptions after that
Anyway then you get to watch your invincible friend get stabbed, watch the girl you became friends with and feel shitty about kinda ruining the life of get shot, and get your whole shit rocked by some guy who can't even use the magic power bullshit you have. (Though he's got a whole physical thing going on because of the trade off)
Also writing all of this out actually makes me understand the Cult Leader progression more, like besides the fact they killed ur friend and you want em dead. You're probably struggling with your ego (especially since your weird God like friend got a whole power boost from the situation) so you create a fucking eugenicist cult where you can consistently prove your superiority to yourself (surrounding yourself with people who will agree with everything you say).
Anyway in a similar vein I wholely believe in "a loving father is not inherently a good father" Suguru + Nanako & Mimiko dynamic
Final thought is roughly I feel like looking at Suguru thru the lense of "this character had a level of privilege that they felt they truly deserved, and after experiencing events that are genuinely traumatic and horrific for any person, they develop reactionary beliefs to try and regain a sense of superiority and control" rather than "oppressed minority who killed oppressors and wants to do eugenics"
#Eugenics TW#cult TW#ask to tag#Suguru when I catch you#Anyway this was me thinking Abt the fact that Toji ISNT a normal human. He just can't use jujutsu. He's like supernaturally powerful anyway#So Geto's whole shit is like. Pretty misdirected. Though also personal thought is I don't think His parents were good (and he's projecting#That onto every other person who's not a sorcerer) mostly cause like. Going straight to murdering your parents is not really expected#Progression in eugenics id think? Bc if you posit urself as the ''superior'' person theoretically ur parents should also b part of that#Bc genetics or whatever. Idk how genetic sorcery shit is but even tho his parents Weren't sorcerers usually ppl would make excuses I think#So. Basically I feel like he probably did not have a great relationship w them. Not that that makes him any better more just like. Thinking#Through what's happening in his head...why the fuck did he decide on a different last name for that woman. WTF is wrong with him#I am suguru's number 1 LOVER and his number 1 HATER. I'm suffering bc none of the fanfic makes him enough of a bitch#It's really fucking something bc like. Looking at him as someone who's had similar thought progressions and is unlearning the kind of toxic#Black/white extremist thinking he has going on. It's cathartic in a way to deconstruct that and be able to analyze my own thoughts as well#But then no one is putting in the effort to actually engage with his ideas and the flaws in them (INCLUDING THE AUTHOR.)#Anyway most people when they have a crisis and reach an extremely bad mental health situation would join a cult rather than take over a cul#But suguru is different. That's why I love him and also why I'm going to break his ribs.#Diversity win this autistic trans guy fucking sucks so bad you want him dead#I need to tag these damn posts w something but I'm too lazyyyu
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#absolutely do not want to argue because i get where the post is coming from with but im gonna give some thots#re: dennis autism!!!! ok!!!!!#ive talked about it before but there is WAY more to him being autistic than just the buzzer noises. when i first watched that i was like#is THIS really why people hc him as autistic. :/ and i get it! i do! i think he has misophonia inherited from glenn personally#its actually why i captioned the noise sensitive den gifsets as that rather than just. autism.#but personally i see his scripted social interactions and i go. yeah. me. me fuckin too.#and his outbursts. which are VERY personally relatable to me#i have uh. basically the same triggers? very similar triggers at least#i think dennis' neurodivergency presents itself differently because of his upbringing and thats why a lot of ppl go ???? when you say.#'yea i think den's autistic actually'#and like i said i was absolutely like. what the hell are people talking about. he's not autistic#but uh. on rewatches? hm.#dennis quite literally masks almost 24/7#charlie has no qualms about being perceived as like. weird. but dennis masks SO hard. SSSSSSOOOOO hard#i once saw a post like. charlie has boy autism and dennis has girl autism which honestly fucking hate that but its... kiiiind of true#ASD presents itself differently in adults depending on early social conditioning#mac fights gay marriage. group dates. new wheels. dee day. celebrity booze. all the big ones. all the hits.#look how he acts when he goes off script and is forced to speak off the cuff#the way glenn describes him as being very emotional but unable to adequately express his emotions too like. yeah. same.#theres so much more than the noise sensitivity#i could go on and on about how many fucking boxes he ticks but i honestly hate that shit. i know how autism works and that bitch is autisti#im going to refrain from commenting on the reasons why i feel charlie is more acceptably hced as autistic vs dennis because mmmmm but#dennis being 'hypersexual' (not about the sex. at all) and socially adept (has scripts/systems. charlie is more emotionally intelligent)#smells a lil stinky. smells a little bit like infantilization on charlie's part.#ada speaks#ok ill spare you guys. someday ill write a proper meta on this. ive talked about it before but.
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me outlining tllr: i call it my “to-do to Dew list”
#ehehehe#i love Dew puns#dewdle (dew doodle)#dewd (dew and dude)#dewfus (dew doofus (sorry))#and the the silly ones:#mountain dew#scooby dew#dewdrop#dewey duck (funny because i also have an oc named louie and the colors even match (it was completely unintentional))#the duck one is funny because he’s got wings too#a few months ago when it was warm enough to ride my bike to the bus stop in the mornings#sometimes i’d leave it outside overnight and there’d be dew on the bike seat so i wouldn’t be able to ride it#and i’d be like CURSE YOU DEWEY!!! WHYY you got my bike seat all wet >:(#also not to be extra autistic but like i have kinda a diary google doc that i type in during school if something pisses me off or i get#an idea or basically anything i think of like i literally just write down every single thought that crosses my mind there#and the word dewd is written 59 TIMES DEWD. DEWD WHAT#coming out as a silly goose rn#yeah i talk to myself as well u all know all my secrets it’s fine#that wasn’t a secret but still anyway#tryna think of more funny ways i say dews name but i think that’s it?#i just love his name so much man#deweyyyy#dew oc#wyrms says stuff
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It frustrates me to no end that everyone I talk to someone new my brain catastrophises to the point where even though I know logically it’s fine, and normal, and fun, I end up making it a bigger deal in my head that I know it is…I think myself into spirals that the logical part of my brain knows are ridiculous and dramatic and improbable, which stress me out more than is entirely necessary…it’s so tiring to exist and participate in the social world sometimes
#personal#night time ramblings#the potentially autistic side of my brain really comes to party when I begin a new social relationship in any capacity#my analytical brain is not compatible with the lawless wasteland of socialising with someone new#gonna just ramble a bit about this situation here where I don’t have to make a lotta sense#I’ve been talking to a guy I’ve known for many year but never been properly friends with#we were in the same friendship circle when we were teenagers#but in different groups#we’ve literally been talking again for maybe 5 days#it’s taken me a few days to be more or less certain that our conversations are more than 2 sort of old friends catching up#like I think we’ve been flirting a little we’re going to go for a drink maybe he jokingly called me babygirl earlier#it’s been nice to be in that talking stage with a guy but without the awkward first few conversations where you’re getting to know the basic#I’ve always thought he was a nice guy our political and moral leaning have always been pretty similar he’s alright looking#that’s the extent of it#but of course my brains going haywire#scripting conversations I need to have if this become serious#wondering how hell react to less fun things about me physically or personality wise#wondering if and when we’ll ever have sex and if hell be any good 😂#trying to work out if hell get on with my family#like the whole 9 fucking yards#and it’s so fucking silly#like it isn’t that deep in the fucking slightest#it has the potential to be#and if it’s not it won’t be that upsetting to me#I’ll be a bit bummed out for a day or 2 and that’s it#I know myself well enough#but in the moment my brain always speed runs times everything could go wrong reasons it could fail reasons things will never succeed for me#and it doesn’t help that almost every romantic partner or potential I’ve ever had has proved this dumb shit right#but at what point does it become a self-fulfilling prophecy?#I sometimes think deep deep down I’m just a hopeless romantic hidden under layers of cynicism and emotional repression😂
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i think Shuu is the type of Man U could calm down by giving him a reasonably sized animal to hold for a bit so he forgets he’s mad or overstimulated or whatever
#Basically what I’m saying is that i think he has autism#Autistic ppl (me) when they see animals#gunk#shuu tsukiyama#shuucore#tg gunk
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my psychiatrist was trying to explain that a lot of my depression and anxiety probably stems from my trying to force myself into a (neurotypical/allistic) mold that i wasn't made for and that it's nothing to be ashamed of and she listed elon musk and bill gates as my fellow autists and that made me cry harder
#mia.txt#i wasnt like crying bc i was diagnosed with ASD it was more just crying cause i cry all the time now and it was a cathartic session#oh i forgot to mention it but god i cant even describe the weird feeling of being told im actually autistic (UNPROMPTED)#after like. wondering for so many years but being too scared to bring it up to any psychiatrist#so i was just like well maybe i am or maybe i just have adhd. thats ok im not too worried about it :)#and then i was just like talking about my sensory issues being exacerbated by my meds#and then she started asking me more questions abt my sensory issues and social problems and then she pointed out that i#had been rocking back and forth the entire time. which i genuinely dont even notice anymore like i was like oh shit i sure am doing that#and she basically went through the whole questionnaire and was like has no one really ever brought up the possibility that you were#on the spectrum. because you definitely are#and i was like 🤷🏻♀️ idk! im not sure#but it was probably pretty damning that the one other time i had gotten tested he literally gave up bc the questions were too vague#oh but anyway like no that doesnt help actually 😔#i really don't think its shame-based like i KNOW im Different(TM) thats not shocking to me#but i do expend an insane amount of mental and emotional energy trying to be Normal and pretend i am not autistic#the masking that is causing me so much stress is the very thing that prevented me from being diagnosed earlier lmfaooo
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