#honestly i think i just grew attached to him because hes so me
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sometimes i just sit and laugh to myself at the irony of the fact my first ever fictional crush when i was little was luke smith from the sarah jane adventures
because a. he's gay
and b. im a lesbian
#honestly i think i just grew attached to him because hes so me#5 year old me saw an awkward autistic coded character and was just like 'that one#i want that one'#and honestly rewatching now (and im actually older than the characters for most of the show now wtf)#im feeling exactly the same way hes SO me#(hes basically an alien)#sja#doctor who#the sarah jane adventures#sarah jane smith#luke smith#sarahs random thoughts
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Explaining your First Love to the Yandere's
A/N: "The Yandere's", meaning as many yandere's i think I can characterize as yandere's as perfectly as possible without burning myself out. Also, are the pictures too much?????? Also, I couldn't find a good pic for Sugu without picking the one where he's literally going insane LMAOOO. Love how my semi-debut for my yandere characterization for him is shown w a not so pleasant picture of him(they're all perfect). Anyways, this is probably gonna be my most chaotic, yet organized, post about jjk ever. I have a solid plan and will go through with it. It's friday and this is me "letting loose" before the weekend. Also, the first love story will be pulled from my own experience. With multiple twists to it to make it sound as interesting as possible.
SCENARIO:
"Mmmm. I remember my first love." You hum in a pleasant tone as you start to reminisce events of who you first gave your heart to. "I loved him so much, it was insane. Because....we grew up with each other. We used to be like this." You twist your fingers together, smiling at him as you explain. "He was an embodiment of me, as I was of him. I don't remember a time we weren't friends. I think it helps to mention that our mom's were friends and they were neighbors. So....we've always known each other. He's a year older than me."
You two were out in the park on the grass. He suggested a little picnic together, hoping to bring you two closer so he could possibly make more moves to be more than a friend. But you were so oblivious to it, even going as far as talking of your first love as if you still missed this stupid asshole.
"I still miss him." You go silent for a few seconds and stare down at the checkered blanket, smiling. He gapes a little and resists the urge to scoff. "We both loved playing video games, we watched the same tv shows, went to the same elementary school....a lot of things happened between us. He didn't like me back, though. I confessed to him when I was 9 and he said no." You laugh. "But even then, I still loved him. I still feel it, too. For some reason, my love for others doesn't really go away. Just sits at the bottom of my heart to make more room for others."
You sigh and continue talking about the guy. "He just grew more and more....attractive as I grew up. I am pretty sure he's why I have my type that I have in men currently. He's very tall....a deep voice." You sigh, closing your eyes to remember. "Relaxed, closed off.....I heard him on the phone when our moms were talking a month ago. He sounds....so different. I don't even know what I'd do with myself if I saw him again." In real time, he watched you unravel slowly to show how.....inf*tuated you were with this guy. You were so focused on naming his qualities. As if you could picture him perfectly in your mind.
"I'm so glad we don't talk to each other anymore. I ruined our relationship. Said a few inappropriate things I shouldn't have said at the wrong time. I haven't spoken to him in....6 years. And I'd rather it stay that way, honestly. Because he's a rather boring person outside of his physical attributes. But I have attachment issues." You pick up one of the snacks laid out between the two of you. "Yeah. I'm done talking about him. I would rather not think of him anymore."
YANDERE REACTIONS:
Sukuna:
Sukuna was baffled. Anger, frustration, fear, and even jealousy kept his tongue from moving. He thought this moment wouldn't ever happen in his life. He thought this wasn't a possibility. Your extreme disloyalty to him was what made him clench his hands in anger. But if he rationally thought about this, you don't know. You don't know how much he loves you. How much the Ryomen Sukuna loves you. You were supposed to be his in all lifetimes. He felt like he absolutely knew you were pure. You smelled pure and your energy felt pure when he first met you. So why were you fixing your mouth to say such disgusting and unfaithful words to him as if he wasn't right there?
He wanted to ask you if you've been trying to give yourself to him like a whore, but he knew that was just him overreacting. He wouldn't ever say such things to you, anyways. He wanted to change for you and was trying, starting with these stupid little date settings he knew you loved. A fucking park. And here he was being stabbed in the chest multiple times without your knowledge of it. It was all your doing.
He might be human in this lifetime. He might be nothing but a mere human for you to toy with freely, and he would let you do it to him. But he would never allow a puny roach get in the way of getting what he deserves. He deserves you and he will have you, one way or another. And if that means cutting a small piece of your heart out just to keep the rest, then so be it. He can't have any piece of you in him. Just thinking about him makes another vessel pop in his body somewhere. He will kill this thing.
Kento:
Maybe he was overbearing. He really just couldn't help but feel insecure. There should be no real reason for you to bring up a man from the past. Someone that should clearly be out of your mind. Was he boring? What did that fool have that he didn't? And why did you mention it while you two were on this date??(It wasn't a date, but it felt like it to him) Maybe he was too plain. Men like him were just smokers and loners, of course you'd bring up someone else that can satiate your desire for real love. It's all because he couldn't. Not in the way you want to be loved.
But he knew, he knew that he was enough. He knew he was your type as well, so, what did you mean by he was the type you have in men?? What does that mean for him? Will you use him and throw him away? He doesn't want to be used and tossed out like trash. He wanted to be yours forever. He wanted to be your man. Your man. He wanted to be your lover, your obsesser and the one you obsess over, not that imbecile. He wanted to be skin to skin, he wanted to be under your skin, he wanted to make his mark on you and for you to do the same to him. He deserves your love. But here you are expressing it for another man you haven't even spoken to in over 6 years. He deserves that type of commitment, there's nothing he's done to deserve it this late.
"I love you." The words slip out like oil on water. And it makes his heart oh, so much lighter.
Suguru:
"Heavens. I'm glad you aren't talking with him now." Suguru chuckles and shakes his head, peeling off more strawberry leaves for you. "This is why." He points with the strawberry at the people walking past and then gives you the strawberry. "This is why I don't want you talking with them. They do this to hold you in their clutches, I've seen it." Suguru sighs as he recalls your story in his mind. Jesus, was it trying to hypnotize you? If so, it was working. No worries, it won't be around to mess with your mind much longer.
"They actively lie, they laze around, let their emotions control them, and then try to manipulate you to stay with them to be their stepping stool." He brushes your hair back neatly, and you scrunch your eyebrows at his words. "But I know you're better than him. Better than all of them." He calls out your name and stares into your eyes with a look that makes you flustered. What is his problem?
"You are the light. You are one of the most strongest and intelligent sorcerers I have seen of this time. You hold up your potential and continue to blow my mind with how beautiful your soul is. I am constantly drawn to you and your energy, I never get enough of it. I don't ever want to hinder you and I don't want anyone else to hinder your energy. That's why I will kill that filthy animal that tried to touch you." It's scary, the way he maintains eye contact with you and spits the nastiest insult about the man you once loved with your whole heart.
"I can't wait to get to know you better. You've been teaching me so much. Maybe you can tell me about your favorite nature spots and we can relax there whenever you're free. And sometime later, I could also take you to meet my family. You'll love my two daughters." He laughs lightly, knowing Nanako and Mimiko would adore finally having a real mother worth of raising them. Together, you and him would be unstoppable.
Choso:
Choso was finished with peeling the mandarin for you. You kind of were confused about how he went about doing this, though. Because all over his lap were the smallest bits of mandarin peels you've ever seen. But the mandarin looked perfect. He obviously took his time. He handed it to you softly, smiling. You accept it happily and begin peeling.
He was surprised he didn't rip the thing apart then and there. Maybe be should peel things more often. The way you so freely spoke about your love for another man when your soulmate was sitting right next to you, peeling fruit open for you was preposterous. He needed a hug. A lemonade, had to kill someone, something. But he stopped killing people for you(secretly), so he has to resort to acting like he's peeling off that devil's skin. Starting from where the shiny skin first shows. The first piece is always the hardest to pick off and it's hard to choose where to begin. But soon enough, the color underneath began to show. He slowly picked off every. Little. Piece. He heard a yelp of pain and cries of "sorry's" in his head for every piece.
Every single little piece made the air smell more and more sweet and tangy. The more you spoke, the faster he picked. The stronger the smell was. So citrus-y and delicious. It made him smile. He loved peeling this mandarin. Then picking off white strips connected to the mandarin itself, so that it was smoother and you had no access peel. Like veins, they came off one by one. He simply stared at it when he was done. Smooth, perfect. Scattered remains laying everywhere on his lap.
He's never felt this way before. What were you doing to him? What is this twisting feeling in his gut that makes him want to puke? Why can't he breathe? Why does he want to kill the kids and mothers at the playground not too far away? He needs you to calm him down.
He hates this park.
"Here you go, angel." He hands it to you, smiling. You looked a little confused at first, but then took it from him, opening it to take a slice. "Oh, this looks real nice, Cho. ......Why are you smiling like that?" He shrugs, picking up one of the strawberries you brought from your place. "Like what...?"
Toji:
Toji was silent. The awkward silence he was creating between the two of you made you nervous. He was sitting close to you, leaning over to you, his arm supporting his weight behind your back with your shoulder touching his chest. He was just staring down at the bowl of strawberries. ".....Toji?" Your soft voice made him sigh.
No, he couldn't do it. Killing you won't kill the pain and anger in his chest. This was probably the angriest he's ever been. He wanted to shout at you to apologize for how you were making him feel. But what he really wanted was to feel your lips on his and for you to shut the fuck up. For some reason, every time you open your mouth, it always ends with him degrading further and further off the side of sanity and just going completely ballistic.
You saw his hand on his hip. The hip that wasn't actually his hip, but was his gun he was resting his hand on. He would feel so much better if those shrieking rats would shut up. Fucking rodents running around you two freely like he wasn't about to ruin everyone's day.
He wouldn't say he was often traumatized, but he could've went his whole life without hearing that story. Now he has to find a random man and kill him for stealing your heart. I mean, the least the bastard could've done was reciprocate his feelings and not leave you feeling helpless. "I could treat you better than that dick." You flinch at his words before smiling, averting your gaze as well. "Oh....." He leans in closer to your face. "Where does he live, huh? Is it the prick with the glasses?" "No?" "The one you work with?" "I-I told you I haven't-" "Eh, whatever. I'll find him and kill him." He smiles at your bashfulness and grabs a few strawberries from the patch.
Sometimes he forgets you don't care much for how he says things. If the right message gets across, you usually don't mind how he says it. But he just blatantly threatened to kill him. You grab the leafless strawberries from his hands and begin eating. Nah. You were his, for sure. He sighs and lays down on the blanket, staring up at the blue sky.
Satoru:
Satoru nodded along with your words, his hands trembling. When you smiled, he did. When you sighed, he would, too. And when you finished your story, he had to swallow the thick bile in his throat. You were just....recalling old memories, that's all. Nothing else. He tried to focus on the grass blades he felt through the blanket. He tried to focus on the sounds of the kids running around squealing.
He watched you eat some of the cold grapes he brought you. They were big, and you praised him lightly for finding such a great batch. He nods quietly and stares down at his lap. Everything was fine. You were fine, and so was he. "Satoru...?" Honey dripping naturally in your voice makes his head turn automatically. The worry etched on your face made the strings holding his mind together break one by one. "Are you alright..? You're sweating."
Nothing was fine. He can't believe you just said that to him. Why would you..? Why did...? Why?.....wait, why?? Why??? Why why why why why why WHY would you do that? Why would you say that to him? He sacrificed so much for you. He killed all of the assassins that went after you when the higher ups found out about you and him getting closer. He paid off your parent's debt secretly. He paid your rent. He woke up early in the mornings to talk to you because he knows you like to wake up to see the sunset. He memorized all of your schedules when you have special weeks, special breaks, he memorized all days that you memorized, he knows what mattress you like to sleep on, he knows how you like certain foods to be seasoned, he knows your favorite weather and season, he didn't fucking learn all of this about you for nothing!! WHY don't you ever appreciate everything he's ever done for you? Why don't you notice him? Why don't you love him? He stalks you every day to understand the type of man you would want to live under your roof and be under your covers and that wasn't enough.
He's been so alone all of his fucking life. No one understood him like you do. He couldn't help but open his ribcage, breaking them off of his body to one by one to let you touch his hot beating heart with your cold fingers. He wants you inside of his heart forever and never let you go, can't you understand that? He hasn't slept in three days, predetermining what he was going to say to you during this picnic, and you tell him that?? Just fucking kill him. Kill him, kick his face, spit on him, ruin him like you're doing now. He clearly doesn't matter.
"Satoru??"
He's supposed to be the one you compare playing video games with, he is supposed to be the one you watch the same tv shows with, he was supposed to go to the same school as you!! His skin is on fire, he can't breathe, his mind hurts, the grass blades are irritating his skin and the children are making his migraine worse. Are you saying something? He can't hear you. His ears are ringing.
He wants to be him. He wants to rip open the skin and spine of the man who lived in your soul since the dawn of time and crawl into his body to experience what he experienced. He wants to do all of those things with you as kids and live with you, grow with you, let him be your infatuation. He wants to rewind time. He wants to die. He wants both of you to die and be reborn to be given a second chance he can never ever have.
"Satoru!"
Your face is twisted into heavy concern and slight fear. Satoru sat in front of you, staring at you. He hasn't moved in three entire minutes. His face was covered in bucket loads of sweat, his lips twisted into a tight smile that threatened to break into a million pieces. The corners of his lips wobbled as if he was going to cry, but his eyes were wide open and dry. His legs, arms, and back stiff as he sits in such an uncomfortable position, it had to hurt. You were scared for him.
Can he hear you? You slowly raise on of your hands to touch his cheek and he flinches under your touch, finally blinking. "Yes?" You purse your lips and bring out a cold water bottle from your basket. "Here, maybe you should drink some water." He takes the water bottle you dropped into his hand. "Thank you." He whispers and sighs, twisting open the cap. You watch him guzzle the whole thing in 5 seconds. "......maybe we should go indoors." He nods, closing the now empty water bottle. "Yeah. The sun is hurting my eyes."
No part 2's. Because I don't like continuing old plot and I love seeing people go crazy for me not continuing good content.
#yandere#yandere x reader#reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#yandere jjk#yandere choso#yandere nanami#yandere suguru#yandere satoru#yandere gojo#yandere toji#yandere sukuna#yandere geto#choso x reader#nanami x reader#geto x reader#toji x reader#sukuna x reader#gojo x reader#yandere choso x reader#yandere nanami x reader#yandere geto x reader#yandere toji x reader#yandere sukuna x reader#yandere gojo x reader#yandere jjk x reader#yandere jujutsu kaisen
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𝑅𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝐻𝑒𝓇𝑒
(Beau Arlen x Female Reader)
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: after getting dumped by a guy you'd been talking to, you decided there wasn't much of a point in looking for love. You were better off just staying home and drinking while watching your comfort shows. well... perhaps the sheriff may be able to change your mind.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: reader gets dumped, alcohol, friends to lovers, smut MINORS DNI, Soft!Dom Beau, pet names (Sweetheart, Darlin(g) Princess, etc.) oral (fm receiving), cuffs, unprotected intimacy (reader's on birth control). Overstimulation. I think that's it???
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: hey guys, bare with me as this is my second smut. If anyone has any tips on how to better my writing when it comes to this sort of content please feel free to comment. Any advice is appreciated.
What was the point of getting all dolled up for someone that wasn't even going to give you the time of day?
You'd been trying to go on some dates here and there since it had been a while since you'd given it a shot. Besides, everyone deserved to have a little love in their life right? Why would you be an exception? You had plenty of things to offer. You were smart, and you were at least decent looking. Granted, you were no model or anything like that, but you didn't look like a potato grew arms and legs or anything. You took care of yourself, you were educated and had a decent job that you actually enjoyed. You thought you had a pretty good sense of humor and you at least tried to get along with everyone you met.
So what was stopping you when it came to finding a long term relationship?
About two months ago you downloaded a little dating app that Jenny Hoyt was telling you about. She recommended it because she claimed it was helping her at least talk to more people before she got back onto the dating scene. Now she was in a relationship with someone who was also a Private Investigator.
If it worked for Jenny, why couldn't it work for you?
So you gave it a shot.
A few days after you had downloaded the app you had started talking to a guy. His name was Preston. You didn’t expect anything to happen so fast and you didn’t want to get attached. Quick attachment was both dangerous and a little unrealistic, but you still found yourself getting excited to message him and you smiled every time you got a notification from him. When you two called you started to grow fond of hearing his voice before you went to bed. He had an adorable southern drawl that sounded like he was from the southern part of North Carolina and it cute whenever he said your name over the phone.
The both of you had even video called on numerous occasions so you knew what he looked like and he knew what you looked like. He was handsome and you thought the two of you would make the cutest couple if he ever asked you to be his girlfriend. Honestly you thought you could even be willing to move out of state just to be closer to Preston if things ever got serious.
The past two months flew by so fast and you were growing more and more fond of Preston. When he said he was going on a road trip and Montana was one of his stops, he said he wanted to meet you in person and that there was something he wanted to tell you. That excited you even more and you couldn't wait to find out what he wanted to say!
Preston told you when he was finally in Montana that morning and he would see you in a couple of hours. You had told him which diner to meet you at and when the time came you were practically on the edge of your seat. But as the time went on, he was about ten minutes late - which was fine, you had assumed maybe he got lost.
Then ten minutes became twenty. Then thirty. Then three hours suddenly flew by and that was when you finally got a notification on your phone.
The message Preston left you was heart breaking.
"Y/N, I'm sorry to have to do this... I wanted to tell you in person but I'm not good at this kind of thing. I just don't think we can work out. I just don't think we can really be that compatible with each other. It was nice talking to you, but it's time to move on... I'm sorry"
Before you even had the chance to type out a response, Preston had blocked you on practically everything. You couldn't even ask if there was anything you could do to at least try changing his mind.
And all of this brings you to where you are now...
With slightly puffy eyes and a reddened nose, you had just entered the closest liquor store. At least now you could see since the tears had stopped for the time being. You were roaming around the aisles, trying to decide how fucked up you wanted to get that night since you didn't have anything to do tomorrow. Then you heard a familiar voice.
"Y/N?"
You glanced over and you saw one of the sweetest women known to mankind was in the liquor store with you. Denise had the biggest smile on her face as she walked over in your direction, but her smile faltered the closer she got and her brows knitted with concern. That was your sign she must've noticed you'd been crying in your car for the past thirty minutes.
"Awe, sweetie.. you look terrible! Did something happen? Is there anything I can do to help?" She asked and you shook your head a little.
"Thanks, but no ma'am. It's just some allergies." You lied, though you doubted it was a believable story.
Nevertheless, the assistant at Dewell and Hoyt Private Investigations pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose before adjusting her cardigan a little but the look of concern never left her face. You had told her you were talking with someone on the phone, so she knew you had some little app like Jenny had and Denise had been so excited for you. It had been a while since she'd seen you happy over a boy.
"Allergies... Sweetie if it's allergies, I don't think those wine coolers will do the trick if it's an allergic reaction to a fractured heart." She frowned and you could feel your eyes water again and you looked down at the wine coolers you'd been looking at when she noticed you.
"Recommend anything a little stronger?" You asked, trying not to have your voice crack.
Denise frowned a little, but she took you by the hand and the two of you walked over to a different section.
"What are you doing here anyways, Denise? I didn't take you for a drinker." You said and the woman smiled a little.
"I was just picking up wine to cook with. Then maybe another bottle to have a glass with a good book." She admitted, causing you to grin a little.
When the two of you made it to the selection of vodkas, you started looking at the different brands before you picked up a bottle of Absolut Vanilla and you looked over at Denise.
"I hope your cooking goes well. You'll have to tell me what you made next time I come over to the PI's office and see you." You said and Denise nodded.
"Just make sure you message me when you get home. The waterworks is dangerous for driving too." She warned and you chuckled a little before you nodded. Even when your heart was broken, this woman could still somehow make you smile.
"I will." You promised.
"The ache will pass, sweetie. There's plenty of people out there waiting for the right one, even some locals." She said and she gave you a soft hug, which you returned. Then when she let go, she gave your arm a little reassuring squeeze before she walked off to the wine section.
As for you, you went to the register and bought the bottle you wanted before you walked out of the store, paper bag in hand. Finally, you could go home and drink in peace and try to forget all about this disaster, forget about love altogether even.
Beau was sitting down at is desk, gaze downcast at the paperwork he'd been filling out related to an investigation that's been closed that afternoon. It didn't help much that his back ached because he had to chase a perp on foot that afternoon since he was a suspect for a different case.
Just as he closed the file, Beau heard his phone beginning to ring. He groaned a little to himself before he took his phone and looked at the caller ID only to grin when he realized it was Denise. He answered the call and lifted the phone to his ear.
"Denise! I thought you'd be at home relaxing, what are you doing calling me so late?" Beau asked as he looked at the computer screen in front of him to look at the rest of the work he needed to do.
"Hey Beau, on your way home tonight can you do me a favor? It's about Y/N."
Once Beau heard your name slip through the speaker he stopped what he was doing so he could pay attention to Denise.
"What's going on with her? Is she alright?"
"Calm down, Cowboy. She's okay. I just need you to do a little wellness check on your way home tonight."
Beau looked at the time on the computer screen and he realized he was about to head home anyway after printing off some work he could take with him, "Looks like you caught me at a good time. I'm about to head out in a few minutes anyway. When did you last hear from Y/N?"
"Oh just a few minutes ago here at the liquor store. I was picking up some cooking wine when I saw her and Beau.. she really needs someone to talk to. She wasn't hysterical or anything, but she does seem to have an easier time talking with you about things." Beau rubbed the back of his neck at Denise's words.
"I'm not sure what gave you that idea." Beau chuckled a little but Denise scoffed.
"Oh don't give me that. You and I both know better than that." She said.
"If you say so. But I can stop by before heading home tonight." The sheriff promised with one last chuckle.
"Thanks Beau. I knew I could count on you. I'll talk to you soon, 'kay?" And with that, Denise hung up the phone.
Beau shifted his eyes at a picture on his desk. It was an image of you, him, Denise, Jenny and Cassie. The five of you had taken that after a state fair the previous year. He'd originally gone alone that year since he wanted to find something to do that night since it had been your day off. Then he ran into you since you were by yourself too. Then somewhere along the way you both had ran into Cassie, Jenny and Denise and the five of you spent that evening together.
You had always been sweet to him ever since he came into town. The both of you hit it off pretty well and he'd ended up inviting you to several movie nights whether it was with just him or if it was with Jenny, Cassie and Denise included. And all of this was while Beau was here as a temporary sheriff, but the more he was around you, the more Beau was finding a reason to stay here indefinitely.
Beau had to admit, he had a soft spot for you. Well, maybe it was more than just a little spot but he didn't think you'd be interested so it's just better if he put those feelings on a shelf. And if Denise called him to do a wellness check on you, something must've been wrong.
Beau got up from his desk after he'd started printing off whatever he needed to and he shut off the computer. Once he had everything together, he grabbed his jacket and paperwork that was now in a folder and he was out of the door before he made it to his car.
Finally, after leaving the station Beau made it to your house. He parked the car and got out before he started looking around the premises just incase something was wrong. Nothing seemed to be out of place, and there didn't seem to be any red flags when it came to the exterior of the house but he wanted to be thorough. When he walked up the porch he noticed the door was closed so it's not like anyone broke in from what he noticed. So Beau lifted a hand and gently knocked on the door.
He heard the sound of a TV going as well as a thump and Beau heard you curse from the other side of the door. A couple of seconds later the door opened up and Beau saw you rubbing your shin a little before standing upright. You were wearing nothing but a hoodie and some biker shorts, your hair was in a messy bun and he could tell you were trying to recover from crying, though you'd taken your makeup off already so the mascara wouldn't run down your face.
"You okay, Darlin?" Beau asked and he caught a whiff of some alcohol on your person.
"Yeah, just hit my shin getting up from the couch. Something I can help you with Beau?" You asked as you leaned your head against the door.
Beau noticed your cheeks were a little red but you were still able to annunciate your words. So maybe you were a little buzzed since you didn't seem to be drunk at the moment. You still had your senses about you, at least he hoped so.
"Um.. Denise asked me to check up on you. She seemed worried about you. Is... it okay if I come in?" Beau asked and you nodded a little before letting go of the door and you started walking back over to the couch.
"She really shouldn't be worried. I'm alright." Beau heard you say as he shut the door. Then he walked over and sat down beside you on the couch.
"Sweetheart, a person that's 'okay' doesn't just show up teary eyed at a liquor store intent on drinking alone." He replied and he turned the bottle around to take a look at what you were drinking.
"And drinking vanilla vodka no less. I might've gone for whisky myself." From the corner of his eye, Beau watched you shrug a little. Then he sat up again and looked at you.
"So... you gonna tell me what's going on?"
You sighed a little as you took another sip of the vodka before setting your glass down. You stared blankly at the TV that was just playing an episode of Friends since you weren't sure what else to put on.
"It's stupid. You'll think it was a waste of time for Denise to even have told you to come and check on me." You said and Beau put his hand on one of yours, covering the top of it.
"It's not a waste of time. Whatever you're going through, it matters. No matter how big or small the issue is, your feelings matter. You don't need to invalidate yourself because you think it's a waste of someone's time."
You looked at him, not sure why he felt the need to tell you something like that. But whatever the reason, you could tell Beau was being genuine with you. Then again, you couldn't exactly recall a time when he ever lied to you about anything.
You sighed a little and you looked down at your phone that was laying on the coffee table next to the bottle of Absolut. The screen was black since you'd turned it off after letting Denise know you were home. Would Beau really care if you told him everything? Might as well tell him since he was here.
"It's just... I should have known dating apps were stupid and this guy was too good to be true." You said, then you proceeded to explain why you got the app in the first place and the ordeal with Preston that evening.
"Wait, if he wasn't going to tell you in person, why bother coming to Montana at all on his road trip?" Beau asked and you shook your head.
"I don't know...."
Beau softened at the defeated tone in your voice. He reached out and wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you close to him. You didn't resist and Beau felt you relax against his touch as he placed a soft kiss on your head.
"I'm just so tired of being alone.... This isn't where I wanted to be in life right now." You said.
"And where did you think you'd be?" Beau asked as his fingers started running through your hair softly as he massaged your scalp.
"I thought that if I wasn't married by now... I'd at least be in a serious relationship with the right guy. Like yeah I'm independent, I have a great job and it's not bad living by myself. It's not like I desperately need to have a man in my life but.. being alone gets tiring. It just sucks after a while." You began.
"It gets too quiet in the house sometimes and it's just nice to have someone to come home to. It's nice to actually feel wanted by someone. I thought I'd be in a relationship with a guy that if I'm home before he is after work, I could be in the kitchen doing whatever task and he'd be the guy to surprise me out of the blue with some flowers, maybe he'd turn off the water if I'm in the middle of dishes and he'd pull me into his arms and dance with me right there in the kitchen just because we could." You continued and you could feel your eyes starting to water up and burn with tears again.
"But that shit's not in the cards for me and I get it now. I must be defective or something." You scoffed and got up from leaning against Beau, rubbing one of your eyes with the palm of one of your hands. Then you reached over to grab your glass again but then a large hand grabbed your wrist, preventing you from drinking anymore.
You turned your head to look over at Beau, who's gaze seemed to soften and he pulled your wrist softly which caused you to stop reaching over for the vodka. Then you felt him let go of your wrist and he reached up before he started wiping whatever tears you'd missed from your cheeks.
"You aren't defective. Far from it." Beau spoke with such sincerity that you almost wanted to believe it.
"You're saying that because we're friends..." You rolled your eyes and looked away at the TV screen.
Beau's jaw tensed and he cupped your face in his hands before he made you look at him again.
"I'm not just saying that. You should know by now that I wouldn't lie to you." he insisted and you looked down at the space in between you.
"Then what's wrong with me?" You whispered and closed your eyes, doing your best to stop anymore tears from forming. You were so tired of crying, tired of feeling this way.
Beau watched you divert your gaze away again but this time he didn't force your gaze to look at him. Instead, he carefully pulled you into him again and let your head go back to his shoulder.
"Nothing is wrong with you, Y/N. I hate that some random asshole on a stupid app made you feel this way. Any guy would be lucky to be with you. It would be a privilege to be with someone like you. You have so much to offer, and if what's-his-face couldn't see that then all it means is he's to ignorant to realize what he walked out on, or he's clearly incapable of seeing a good thing even when it's right in front of him like other people." Beau said as his hand rested against the back of your head.
"I just feel like whatever person I'm supposed to be with is just stuck in a different timeline. I can't find him no matter how hard I try." You sighed, but this time your voice didn't sound quite as broken which was something you were grateful for.
"Maybe.. maybe you just need to look in a couple of different places. Or maybe..." Beau trailed off, nearly hesitant.
"Maybe..?"
"Maybe... the sort of person you're looking for might be closer to you than you think they are."
You slowly lifted your head from Beau's shoulder and you looked at the sheriff. Your eyes met with his and there was a lingering silence between you before you found yourself looking at his lips. Would it be wrong of you to wonder what his lips would feel like against yours?
You looked up into his eyes again and placed a soft hand on his chest, "Maybe... you could help me look in the right places for that person."
Beau nearly couldn't believe his ears, and the way you were looking at him almost made him wonder if he was dreaming this up in this head. Maybe he was at the station again slumped over sleeping at his desk or something.
The moment you started getting closer, Beau relaxed and put a hand on your cheek, "I'll show you more than that, Darlin... only if you let me."
After you nodded, Beau slowly leaned in before his lips barely grazed over yours, giving you a chance to pull away if you had second thoughts. You, on the other hand, put a hand on his cheek before deepening the kiss and let him know there wouldn't be second thoughts.
The kiss started sweet, slow and gentle. Beau was so careful with you, almost like he was scared he'd break you but he loved the way your lips felt against his own. You loved how sweet Beau was with you in this moment and you couldn't help but melt all because of a kiss. You didn't know how long you've been kissed, but this felt more right than anything you'd done before. But it wasn't long before the swirling feeling in your stomach made you want a little more.
With your lips still attached, you slowly moved to where one thigh went over Beau's lap and the next thing you knew, you were on top of him. He placed one of his large hands on your thigh while the other was behind your neck as if trying to pull you closer into the kiss. You could tell he was still trying to be careful and not push any boundaries, so you reached down and moved his hand from your thigh and pulled it up to where it was on your hip and you slid forward into him so where both your cores touched.
Beau let out a soft groan against your lips before he pulled away and he looked up at you again. You looked down at him, confusion on your face.
"Is something wrong?" You asked.
"Nothing's wrong, Sweetheart. It's just that.. you've been drinking and I don't want this to turn into something you regret later on. Are you sure this is something you want?" Beau asked.
"Beau, it takes a lot more than a glass and a half of vodka to make me delirious and incapable of making decisions with a sound mind. You caught me before I got to that point and I'm okay right now. Whatever happens tonight... I won't regret it. It'll be a sober choice so there's nothing for you to feel bad about. I promise." You reassured in a whisper, then you leaned in and kissed his cheek.
After that, Beau seemed to be a little less tense beneath your touch now that he knew you were sober enough to consent to whatever would happen next. The last thing he wanted to do was take advantage of you and make you uncomfortable. Beau leaned down and placed a soft kiss on your shoulder before he started kissing up your neck gently. He smiled against your skin at the way you'd giggle at the way his beard would tickle your neck.
"Ticklish, are we?" He asked and you blushed a little.
"Maybe just a little sensitive." You confessed and Beau hummed a little before he leaned in and kissed you again.
This time, with this kiss Beau seemed to have more certainty in his actions. He was still just as gentle as before but this time it was like he had a little more ambition. It was more than a chaste kiss to start. He tilted his head and you could feel the tip of his tongue lightly graze your bottom lip as if asking permission to slip inside. As soon as your lips parted, you felt his tongue slip past and he kissed you deeply like it was his personal mission to take your breath away.
As he kissed you, you could feel your heartbeat hasten. Goosebumps were starting to form on your arms with the adrenaline you were beginning to feel. You hadn't been kissed like this in so long that you'd practically forgotten what it felt like. Your cheeks were heating up and your hands went to the back of his neck, fingers threading through his hair at the base of his neck.
Beau loved the way your fingers felt in his hair. If he could melt in your arms he could right then and there and he didn't want this feeling to go away. You kissed him back with passion and he was glad things didn't seem to be one sided at least for tonight. You deserved to be loved, deserved to be shown just how beautiful you were.
He slowly let one of his hands slip beneath your hoodie and he realized you weren't wearing a shirt underneath. The second he felt your skin beneath his fingertips he felt like he could get lost in you. What caught him by surprise though, was when you wrapped your pretty lips around his tongue and sucked on it softly. It was like you were trying to make him lose all the self control he had.
Beau placed his hand on the small of your back and pulled you closer to him, letting your cores touch again that way you could feel exactly what you were doing to him. You moaned against his mouth and around his tongue before he pulled away from your lips.
"Rock..."
You were just as breathless as Beau was but all it took was that simple word and you knew exactly what he wanted you to do. You slowly began to move your hips and you could feel the hardness beneath his jeans against the thin material of your biker shorts. You were already beginning to feel his affect over you but this took things to a different level as you felt him against your clothed core. He already felt so hard and so big and rocking against him like this was enough to drive you crazy.
Your thighs were already beginning to shake when Beau put both his hands on your hips and pulled you down herder against him. You moaned softly as he moved your hips and you felt even more of him and once Beau hit a certain spot, you gripped down on his covered shoulders.
"B-Beau..."
"Steady now, Sweetheart. Keep going. You can do this." He said sweetly though his movements were getting faster and he started to move his hips up into you.
You were beginning to moan a little louder as you continued to let Beau rub your cunt against his bulge and your thighs were shaking a little more and you gripped down harder on his jacket. Your movements were becoming more erratic and you were so close to coming undone.
"Beau, I'm-"
"Go ahead, Princess. Don't hold back."
As soon as he said those words, you came undone in your biker shorts. You could feel the wetness soaking the clothes between your legs as your core throbbed around nothing. Your legs shook against him, but Beau let his hands gently rub over your thighs in a soothing fashion.
"I'm so sorry... that's so embarrassing." You said and hid your face in your hands, causing Beau to chuckle before he took your hands away from your face and kissed your palms.
"Don't hide from me, Y/N. And don't be sorry... that was perfect. You did amazing for me." You nodded a little but you still felt flustered.
"Where's your bedroom, Sweetheart?" He asked as he placed a soft kiss on your temple.
"U-Upstairs. First room." You stammered, though you were getting the feeling that he was far from done with you.
Beau lifted you up in his arms with little to no effort at all and he carried you up to your bedroom. He felt your soft lips against his neck and he smiled to himself. He had no clue you could be adorable in times like this, and he couldn't wait to make tonight all about you.
Once he stepped into your bedroom, he walked over to your mattress and carefully laid you down. When you let go and he got a better look at you, he swore his heart was about to leap from his chest. Your cheeks were dusted with pink and your lips were swollen from his kisses. You were so cute like this.
"Would it... be okay if I undressed you, Darlin?" Beau asked.
"Only if I get to see you too." You compromised and Beau smiled as you sat up.
You reached up and started with the sheriff's jacket. You slid it off his shoulders and Beau tossed it onto the floor somewhere. Then you started to unbutton his flannel shirt only to reveal his chest but before you could slide it off his shoulders and get a better look, Beau took your hands to stop you.
"Your turn, Sweetheart." He said and you nodded a little.
Beau reached down and carefully gripped the bottom of your hoodie before he slowly began to pull it up. Once the hoodie was over your head, you could feel your body grow cold but you quickly crossed your arms over your chest covering them up since you didn't have a bra under your hoodie. The next thing you knew, Beau held one of your hands but didn't pull them away from your chest - instead he gave you a soft gaze.
"Y/N... I told you already. Don't hide from me." He said as he let his thumb graze over your knuckles.
Your cheeks flushed again but you nodded a little before you slowly pulled your arms down from your chest so he could get a better look at you.
"God... you're so pretty, Sweetheart." Beau said when he saw you. He couldn't get enough of you when he saw you like this. You were so breathtaking and he wanted to make sure you knew that.
He leaned down and you laid down on the bed as he started to hover over you. But when Beau leaned down next to your ear, you bit your lip at the way his breath felt against your skin as he spoke.
"If you hide from me again, then I'll have to do something about those pretty little hands of yours." He said as he kissed your temple again.
That statement alone made you get butterflies in your stomach. A part of you couldn't help but be a little curious about what he would do but you wanted to comply. When he pulled away, you looked up at him and you swore you were seeing some kind of vision above you.
Beau hadn't turned the light on when he brought you into the bedroom, and the curtains of your window were opened so the moonlight was hitting him just right and he looked absolutely divine hovering over you like this.
"Fuck.." You breathed out as you took in the sight of him, just for Beau to chuckle.
Beau bit down on his bottom lip before he started to take off his flannel shirt since you'd unbuttoned it already. You're eyes widened when he slipped the material off his shoulders and tossed it somewhere with the jacket. You had no idea he would look this good. His top half was a sight to see and you couldn't believe this was real. You slowly reached up and let your fingertips touch his chest before it trailed down his abs.
"God I must be hallucinating this whole thing." You said and Beau chuckled a little before he leaned down and kissed your forehead.
"Believe me, you aren't." Beau promised before he pulled away from you and he slowly started to kiss down your neck again.
"You're so beautiful, Y/N... gorgeous in every way." Beau whispered between kisses.
You could feel his kisses grow hot and the feeling of his teeth against your skin made you feel almost ecstatic. His mouth continued to trail down your body and the next thing you knew, you felt his hot breath over one of your breasts, causing you to shiver before his lips wrapped around one of your nipples, making your breath get caught in your throat. Then, Beau's other hand glided up the skin of your stomach before it cupped your other breast in his palm. He gave your mound a little squeeze before he took your erect nipple between his fingers and pinched it softly, causing you to moan his name.
With every movement of his mouth and every pinch he gave, you could feel yourself losing your mind. You squeezed your thighs together as he switched and gave your opposite breast his attention. His tongue swirled around your nipple. Both nipples were growing hard beneath his touch because of his actions and soft little whimpers were making their way past your lips.
"Beau.. y-your mouth feels so good." You breathed out as one of your hands went to the back of his head in an attempt to bring him closer.
After a few moments, Beau moved away from your chest and his kisses trailed down your stomach before he stopped. His hands were at the waistband of your biker shorts and he looked up at you.
"You doing okay, Princess? Do you want to keep going?" He asked and you nodded instantly.
"God yes..."
Beau smirked up at you and the moment you saw it, it about killed you. Even his smirk could make you weak in the knees.
Beau found it adorable how easy it was to get you flustered. You were so adorable like this and he loved the affect he had over you. He bit down on his lip as you slowly lifted your hips and he tugged down your shorts, revealing your glistening core that was still wet from your previous high.
Before he could get a good look at it though and spread your legs, your hands flew down to cover them up again, making Beau glare up at you.
"What did I tell you about that?" He asked you and you bit your lip.
"S-Sorry, I couldn't help it." You admitted but Beau shook his head a little.
"I told you, I'd have to do something about those hands if you covered yourself like that again, Princess." He reminded as he reached behind his back.
"Give me your wrists." He said in a way that told you this wasn't up for debate and he pulled out his handcuffs that had been in the back pocket of his jeans.
Flustered and speechless, you nodded. When you offered your wrists to Beau, he took them and put the cuffs on one of your wrists, looped it around a part of your headboard before hooking the other cuff around your second wrist, leaving you helpless with both your arms above your head so you couldn't try hiding yourself from him again.
"How does that feel, Princess. Are they too tight?" He asked and you shook your head.
"N-No. They feel fine." You promised.
"Good." He nodded a little before he went back to your lower half.
Then, he parted your thighs so he could get a better look at you. Your folds seemed to drip with your arousal and release and Beau couldn't help but ache in his jeans at the sight of you like this.
"So damn stunning..." He breathed out as he slowly kissed from one of your knees down your thigh. Then, he started to nip at your skin the closer he got to your core.
Beau settled between your legs and draped your thighs over his shoulders before he let his tongue gently glide through your folds as slow as possible. He groaned at the tase of you and his length twitched in his pants because of it. He didn't think he'd ever tasted something so heavenly and your moans sounded so pretty in his ears as he continued to lick through your folds.
You were trying your damn best not to lose control of yourself, but Beau's mouth did absolute wonders on your body. His tongue went through your folds so effortlessly and it felt like pure ecstasy. Without even realizing it, you were beginning to raise your hips in an effort to get closer to his mouth. But the moment he found that special little bundle of nerves, it was over.
"Fuck, Beau." You moaned as he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked on it.
Then, you started feeling something poking at your entrance. With a slow thrust, while Beau's mouth was working its magic, he took his finger and slipped inside of your core with ease. He curled up his finger and found your spot almost instantly.
The way he moved his finger was so blissful mixed with the work of his tongue. You could feel his beard scraping between your thighs, making them burn in the best way possible. After a while, Beau slipped a second finger into you, making your core stretch around his fingers. You moaned softly and your hands turned into fists above your head. You wished you had listened so you could run your fingers through Beau's hair.
"Beau-fuck.. please, d-don't stop." You pleaded and when you tried to raise your hips again, Beau took his free hand and pinned you down to the mattress and started to devour you as if he'd never get another chance.
Beau couldn't get enough of the way you sounded, couldn't get enough of your taste. If he could, he would absolutely drown himself in you. He slipped a third finger inside you and you moaned even louder for him. He could feel your legs beginning to shake around his head as his fingers curled and hit that sweet spot of yours again.
He pulled his lips away from your clit and he looked up at you, seeing you struggling against your restraints. Your cheeks were so red and your face looked so adorable like this when you felt good from just his fingers alone. He loved watching the way your body was squirming against him, watching the way you were moving your hips into his hand but then he started to feel your walls clench around his three fingers.
"B-Beau, I'm c-close.."
"Go ahead Princess. Relax and let it happen. Let go of yourself on my fingers." He encouraged as he kept his pace steady.
Then, Beau watched in awe at the way you came undone all over his fingers. He slowed the pace of his hand and used the other to rub your thighs soothingly before he finally pulled his fingers out of your sensitive core.
"You did so well for me, Beautiful." Beau whispered before he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on your lips.
You hummed into his mouth, not caring that you could taste yourself on his lips. His kisses were so addicting and if you could, you wondered if you could kiss him forever.
Unfortunately you couldn't find that out because Beau had pulled away from your lips and when you opened your eyes, you realized he was grabbing a key from his pocket. He reached up and unlocked the cuffs, releasing your wrists and without hesitation you grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him down to kiss him again.
He gasped in surprise but he relaxed against your touch and closed his eyes again. He let his clean hand cup your cheek before he pulled away and he looked down at you.
You already looked so worn out in the prettiest way possible and he almost didn't want to ask if you wanted to keep going because he didn't want you to feel uncomfortable. But when Beau felt your fingers hook themselves around his belt loops to pull him closer, he knew he needed to say something.
"Y/N... if you let me do this I can't turn back." Beau warned you, but you reached your hand up and caressed his cheek.
"Who says I want you to turn back? I want you to keep going, Beau. I trust you." You whispered and moved a stray hair away from his face.
Beau smiled softly before he leaned down and let your noses nuzzle together in a little eskimo kiss before he pecked your lips before he pulled away. Then he reached down to start unbuckling his belt, but that was when he felt your smaller hands over his own.
"Let me do it." You told him as you sat up.
Beau bit down on his lip as he took his hands away and let you start to unbuckle his belt. Your hands were so delicate and he smiled to himself as he watched you start to unbutton his jeans and unzip them. Your reaction when you slid his jeans down was priceless. He didn't think you could possibly get any redder until you saw what was under his jeans.
"You're cute when you're flustered, you know that Sweetheart?" He asked and you bit your lip and looked up at him again.
"Are you sure it'll fit?" You asked.
After all, you had never seen a shape that large even if it was covered up by his boxers. You had to admit it was a little intimidating, but then you felt Beau move a strand of hair from your face.
"It it ever gets to be too much, you can always tell me to slow down or stop." Beau promised and you nodded a little.
"Lay back down for me, Princess." He said and you did so obediently before he started hovering over you.
"Do you have any protection, Sweetheart?" He asked and you shook your head a little.
"I'm on the pill. You'll be okay." You insisted and he nodded a little.
You gazed at him as he started to slide his boxers down and finally revealed himself. You gulped harshly, unsure if you'd ever seen anything quite like him. Scratch that, you were positive you hadn't seen a man quite that size.
Beau hovered over you again and you spread your legs out for him. As he lowered his hips into yours, your breath got caught in your throat again. His shaft slid between your folds and it felt so good against your clit. Your eyes fluttered shut as you focused on the feeling of him rubbing against you and your hands roamed up from his forearms up to his shoulders before you wrapped them around his back.
"Beau.. don't be a tease. Please.." You whispered your plea as you kissed his collar bone.
Beau smiled to himself when he heard your soft spoken words before he nodded a little. After that, he took his length and carefully pushed the tip against your entrance. Then he finally pushed it in and your walls wrapped around him in the best way possible. Beau let out a groan at the way you felt around him, so warm and tight despite having stretched you out.
"Fuck, Y/N... you're so damn perfect." He breathed out.
You moaned in pleasure at the stretch. He already felt so good inside you and you loved the way he sounded because of you. You didn't think you were capable of making someone feel this good, but it felt so reassuring. Rejuvenating even.
After a couple of seconds, Beau slid more of himself inside you and you bit your lip to prevent yourself from screaming at the pleasure of it all. You could already fill him so deep inside of you and you knew this was past the point of return for the both of you. You reached beside your head and gripped onto the sheets of your mattress as you tried to adjust to his size again.
The moment Beau finally pushed the rest of himself into you though, you white-knuckled the sheets and cried out his name. This feeling was so much more than you could fathom and you felt breathless with the pleasure of having Beau filling you up to the brim like this. You didn’t think you’d ever felt this stuffed in your life.
“H-Holy shit…” Beau grunted, loving the way you sounded as he filled you completely to the brim. When he looked down at you, he gulped harshly at the sight of a bulge showing in your stomach.
“Fuck, Y/N, you’re so beautiful.” He said and he lifted a hand before he pressed it down against your stomach. The both of you moaned in response to the way that pressure felt and Beau sure that if he wasn’t careful, he’d lose it right there.
Beau leaned down before he started to kiss your cheek, causing you to relax your grip on the sheets and he felt your gentle hands on his arms. Then he felt you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer to you. He placed one hand on your thigh and his other arm slid behind your back and pulled you closer into himself. Your chest was pressed against his and he could feel the way you hid your face into his neck as he stayed still inside you, letting you adjust to everything.
“Are you feeling okay, Princess?” He asked you softly, you nodded into his neck in response.
“Is it alright if I move?” Another nod came from you and he slowly began to move his hips.
Beau heard the sweetest sounds escape your lips as you whimpered softly with his slow movements. The friction between the two of you felt so good and he didn’t remember the last time he had felt so good with a woman. He continued to move slowly against you and he felt the way you started to grip at his shoulders. He hissed a little at the way your nails began to dig into his skin and he started to gradually move faster.
“Beau.. I-I need you to go faster.” You begged and Beau grunted deeply.
He paused for a moment before he parted your thighs from around his waist and pressed your knees against your chest. You screamed at the deeper angle and he started to move his hips faster. The sounds in the room were wet and lewd. When Beau looked down he could see you practically creaming around his cock. His length was covered with your slick and it was beginning to leak onto the sheets.
Your heart was racing and you felt like you were losing your mind. You walls were clenching around Beau’s length and you swore you were about to come undone again. The pit in your stomach was starting to tighten again and you felt like you were about to cum for a third time and you felt so sensitive as it is.
Beau felt beads of sweat start to roll down his temple as he continued to move. He bit down on his lip at the way your walls clenched around him so tightly. He could feel your body trembling beneath him before he started to slam himself into you again. He started thrusting even faster, deeper and Beau couldn’t restrain himself anymore.
“God, Y/N… you’re too fucking good.” Beau cursed and he took one of your hands before placing it beside your head, holding your wrist to the mattress.
“Beau, I can’t h-hold it. C-Close.” You warned and Beau nodded.
“Can’t hold it either. Give it to me, Sweetheart. Need you to come undone on me like.” Beau said though his voice was strained.
You listened to his words and you focused on the way Beau pounded into you. You focused on how deep he felt inside you, how he hit even the deepest parts of you that made you see stars. The next thing you knew, Beau had his fingers on your clit again rubbing harsh circles against those nerves. It didn’t take long after that for you to arch your back and you came harder than you had before. You screamed out his name and you swore you could even see white for a moment.
Beau watched as you came to your release. It had to be the sexiest thing he had ever seen. When your back arched he looped his arm behind you again and held you close to his chest as he rode out your high while you shook in his arms. He felt something warm spray onto his abdomen and he let out a curse. When he looked down he realized there was a clear liquid between you two and that was when Beau realized you’d squirted onto him.
“Holy shit…” He breathed out. He didn’t know he’d made you feel that good but he loved the way he could make you feel if this was the reaction he’d get.
You opened your eyes and slowly looked up at Beau through your lashes. Then you lifted a hand and caressed his cheek.
“Beau.. N-Need you to cum inside me. Please.” You begged and Beau was already so close as it is.
Beau was so hard that it physically ached and he didn’t know how much more he could take. But when he heard those words escape your lips, it was over for him. He took your hand away from his cheek and pinned it down to the bed again before he intertwined your fingers with his.
“Fuck, Y/N. You’re so perfect. Shit..” Beau cursed as he squeezed your hand tightly.
After a few more thrusts, Beau finally released into you. You shuddered against him as he filled you up with his release and you could even feel his release coming out and running down your ass onto the sheets.
Both of you stayed still while Beau was still buried deep inside of you, You carefully leaned up and started to place soft kisses on his shoulders before making your way up his neck. Your free hand was lightly scratching his back with your fingernails in a soothing manner to try and calm him down from his own high while he still held your other one beside your head.
Beau trembled beneath your touch, feeling more sensitive than he’d expected to be. Then again, it had been a while since he’d slept with someone too so maybe you both needed a night like this more than you thought you did.
“Thank you…” Your voice broke Beau from his thoughts.
He hummed a little as his brows narrowed before he looked down at you.
“What are you thanking me for?” He asked softly.
“For checking on me tonight. For making me feel like I can be worth something to someone.” You whispered and Beau softened before he took the hand that was beside your head and pulled it between you two. He flipped your hand and kissed the back of it, never breaking eye contact with you.
“I told you.. all you had to do was look in the right places.” He said and smiled down at you. Then he leaned down and kissed your lips softly. Then he started to pull away and when he was about to pull out of you, you wrapped your legs around him again.
“Don’t go just yet.” You whispered.
“Y/N, I won’t be going anywhere. But I do need to clean you up and get you into some clean sheets before you get some rest.” Beau said and you hummed softly.
“That can wait a few minutes… couldn’t it?” You asked and Beau smiled softly.
“I suppose it could.” He replied and he leaned down, placing soft kisses on your own shoulder.
“For the record… dating apps are over rated. You could do so much better than total strangers.” Beau said softly between kisses.
“I think I may have found better.” You whispered and Beau lifted his head and he smiled down at you.
He leaned down to kiss you once more and you knew that you could trust Beau with everything. You wondered if maybe he could be everything you wanted, and needed. Maybe this was the opened door to something you had always dreamed of and Beau was right. You just needed help finding where to look.
Tag List:
@deans-spinster-witch @roseblue373 @nancymcl @jackles010378 @hobby27 @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @blackcherrywhiskey @prettyinplaid94 @suckitands33 @muhahaha303 @winchesterwild78 @ladysparkles78 @stoneyggirl2 @kr804573 @n-o-p-e-never @deansbbyx @k-slla
#jensen ackles#supernatural#spnfandom#beau arlen ff#beau arlen x yn#big sky beau arlen#jensen ackles beau arlen#beau arlen x female reader#beau arlen smut#jensen ackles smut#jesnen ackles big sky#jensen big sky#jensen ackles big sky#big sky fanfiction#big sky fanfic#jensen ackles imagine#spn
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My Heart is Yours
Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader
Words: 6.3k
Warnings: extreme fluff, maybe a tiny bit of angst? tension? this is just very fluffy because he needs it
Synopsis: It's Simon's birthday and somethings changed between you two...
Link to The Roommate Series Masterlist
You are currently reading part 2 of “The Roommate Series”
You were up earlier than normal two days in a row but this time you had woken up on your own. Usually on the weekends you slept in, enjoying the fact that you didn't have to go to class or do work, dozing in and out of sleep as you listened to your roommate go through his morning before you joined him. However, this weekend was different than most and it was hard for you to want to stay in bed.
For one, Simon was home. You have gone through many weekends without him, so when he was here it was hard for you to justify staying in bed when you wanted to spend time with him. You learned very quickly that you could never take the time spent with him for granted, not when he might be called back into work randomly and then you’d be left alone again.
Truthfully it was a double edge sword. The more time you spent with him the harder it was to watch him leave but that was the price to pay when you let yourself get attached to a man who disappeared for months.
Another reason was because it was Simon’s birthday.
You were honestly more excited about it than he was. To him, his birthday was just another day but to you it was a day to make things right, to make things better from the vague stories he gave you about the way he grew up.
It was also a chance to have fun with him and to just relax. You didn’t pass up on those opportunities.
You had plans for dinner before you both got drunk off whiskey and any other alcohol you had in your fridge to watch movies. You also still had to make him a cake but more importantly you still had to wrap the gift you had gotten him.
The door to your room was closed but you still glanced at it as if Simon would appear out of thin air before you pulled his gift out from underneath your bed.
In your hand was a travel sized joke book, one that had the really bad puns and dad jokes in it but it was the only thing that you could think of to get him that he would actually use. Even if you knew a lot about your roommate, he was difficult to shop for because he had everything he already needed and never thought about what he wanted.
“Just tell me something to get you!” You begged as you both walked through the aisles of the grocery store yesterday.
“I don’t want anything.” He shrugged and you huffed.
“If you don’t tell me I’m going to get you something you won’t like.”
“I’m sure I’ll live.”
Simon would never tell you but it really didn't matter what you got him for his birthday. He would like whatever you got him because if it was something from you he’d cherish it until he died.
You opened the front of the book to make sure the birthday card you got him was still in there before you heard Simon walk past your room. You somehow had woken up before him and you listened to him shut the door to the bathroom before you let out a short breath.
You put the book back underneath your bed and got dressed. You tried to curb your excitement and instead worked through your head to come up with a plan to get him out of the apartment.
Even though he knew what you had planned you still wanted to act as if it was a surprise.
You left your room once you were dressed and made your way to the bathroom, noting that the door was cracked open for you. It was part of the routine you both had set up when he was home and happened to be in the bathroom when you had to get ready for class.
“Happy birthday!” You swung the door open and stood in the doorway with a grin.
Simon was brushing his teeth but gave you a grunt that sounded like a ‘thank you’. He seemed to have just woken up; his blond hair was tousled from sleep and he stared at you with bleary eyes. He was also still in his pajamas which consisted of just sweatpants since the man was practically a space heater and couldn’t wear a shirt to sleep.
His entire upper body was covered in scars that you were sure had stories to them. It was uncommon for you to see them but sometimes you got a glimpse which struck something deep within your chest. However, right now you were just happy that he truly didn’t have any new scars.
There was something strangely domestic about the sight of him brushing his teeth while you stood watching him. It felt like something that was meant to be, something that was natural to the apartment and to you both. It warmed your chest, softening the grin as it settled into you again that he was truly back home.
“I see you slept well.” You said and he didn’t have the heart to disagree. “Feel any older?”
“Pass.” He grumbled after he spit into the sink and washed out the fluoride with water.
You giggled and watched him begin to wash his face, unbothered by your presence. You were still running through ideas in your head about how to get rid of him for a few hours before you decided to play the safe route.
“What’re your plans today?” You wondered, trying to not sound suspicious.
“Get drunk and watch movies.” He reminded you and you hummed in response.
“You mean you don’t have anything else planned?”
He turned the water off and patted his face dry with a towel, turning to you with a suspicious look in his eyes when he was finished. It only worsened when you gave him a smile and he let out a long sigh from his chest.
“You want me out of the flat.” He stated and you decided that it was time to be truthful.
“Just for a few hours.” You gave him a sheepish smile when he sent you an annoyed look. “It’d do you good to go out.”
“I went out yesterday.”
A soft huff left your mouth as you watched him hang the towel back up and he raised his eyebrows expectantly. You knew that it would’ve been hard to get him out the apartment, he was a homebody who practically confined himself to four walls when he was home. It never bothered you but right now you wished he at least had the motivation to go outside.
“You could go visit your friends?” You suggested even though in your entire time living with him you’d never seen or heard about him having any.
“No.” He didn’t hesitate and you sent him a look.
“At least think about it, geez.”
Simon smiled, it was small but it brightened your mood immensely, as he ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tame it. It had gotten longer since he was gone, the longest you had seen it, and he pulled on a few of the strands to test the length. He didn’t look bad with it that long in your opinion but you assumed by the way he was staring at it through the mirror with intense concentration that he wanted it to be a shorter length.
“I can pay for your haircut.”
“I prefer cutting my own hair.”
You groaned from his difficultness, not annoyed but you had hoped this would go easier. You weren’t sure if he was doing it on purpose to toy with you or if he genuinely didn’t want to leave the apartment. In hindsight, you couldn’t really blame him since he had gotten back yesterday and most likely just wanted to sit around and enjoy not having to be at his job.
Simon made his way over to you and leaned against the doorframe, his tired eyes staring down at you with confusion as he crossed his arms. Up this close, it was really hard to deny just how big he was and it took everything in you to not stare super long at him.
He seemed to have gained more muscle since you had last seen him and yet he hadn’t thinned down much either. Whatever he did for his job made him physically fit and you wondered if that was the reason why he always ate so much.
Not that you were complaining.
His eyes softened as you made eye contact and they bounced around your face as he leaned forward ever so slightly, making it so there was only a few inches between the two of you.
You were prepared for him to stare at you for a long time before he spoke.
“Why do you want to surprise me if I know what you’re doing?” He wondered and continued to stare at you as if he could read your mind.
“You don’t know everything.” You teased and his eyebrows knitted together. “Like the gift I got you.”
Simon’s eyes widened slightly and he stood up, causing you to bite back a few giggles. He tried to hide his excitement but you could see it in the way his eyes had brightened and his usual serious face had gotten happier just at the mention of a gift.
It was cute, you couldn’t help but look at him with a warm chest as it was almost like looking at a kid who was just told they’d get ice cream.
“You got me something?” He sounded surprised it made you smile more.
“Mhm.” You nodded and he seemingly held his breath in anticipation. “But you’re not allowed to have it until after we have cake.”
You watched him deflate with slight disappointment before his eyes shot over to your room. You immediately knew what he was thinking about and you sent him a warning look that you hoped would deter him from even daring to search through your room for his gift.
Even if the dinner and the cake wasn’t a surprise, you wanted to keep his present a secret because you were honestly a little worried it wasn’t good enough and you still wanted to have the time to be able to potentially get something different for him.
“Okay, let’s compromise.” You said, trying to get him to forget about the gift, and continued when he looked back at you. “After lunch you leave while I make the cake and then you can come back once I start making dinner.”
Simon thought it over for a moment before he nodded.
“I’ll help you make dinner.” He added but you shook your head.
“You’re not supposed to help, it’s your birthday.”
“It’s my birthday so I get to do what I want.”
You gasped and stared at him with shock, watching as a triumphant smile stretched across his face. Of course he would figure out a way to use your own arbitrary rules against you for his benefit. You were honestly surprised he hadn’t thought to do it earlier but maybe he was waiting for the right opportunity to catch you off guard.
He was smart, too smart to fall for you silly rules and play along with you.
You pursed your lips together as he looked down at you. You pretended to be offended, giving him a fake glare that couldn’t even be mistaken for anger as you fought back a smile.
“Oh, you think you’re so clever.” You poked him on the chest and watched him tense up slightly before he leaned more into your space.
“I do.”
You scoffed, shaking your head slightly as you placed your hands on your hips. You narrowed your eyes at him, watching as amusement twinkled in his eyes. You focused hard on them, knowing that if you didn’t you would be too enticed by the fact that you could smell the fresh mint on his breath that made you dare to think about what it would be like to press a kiss to his lips in this moment. How you could easily take his face into your hands and run your fingers across the blond stubble on his cheeks, tracing every scar that peppered his otherwise clear skin.
Instead you looked into his dark brown eyes, finding that you were practically swallowed up in the color of bitter coffee and earth. A void of hidden emotions and an exhaustion that seemed to always plague him yet there was comfort within them expanse of darkness. There was warmth that blanketed you as you stared into his eyes, a sense of safety and stability that you couldn’t find anywhere else, only within the confines of the man who stood in front of you.
It was almost too much, too intense to be looking into his eyes like this. Normally you couldn’t do it for longer than a few seconds but doing so now made you feel almost dizzy, like he was taking the air from your lungs for himself.
And yet couldn’t get enough of him. He could be melded inside of you, his entire soul could be mixed with yours and it still wouldn’t be enough.
“Fine.” You cleared your throat when you noticed that your voice was shaking slightly. “You can help but just remind yourself that it’s your birthday.”
“Fine.” He playfully rolled his eyes before he gently pushed you back. “Go. I need to take a shower.”
“You brush your teeth before a shower? Weirdo.”
Simon sent you a look, still with the hint of playfulness, before he shut the door and it was as if you could breathe again. You stared at the door, taking in the moment you just had with him before the shower turning on shook you out of your thoughts.
You glanced at the door one more time before you moved towards the kitchen to make some breakfast.
~
Shooting whiskey has never been easy for you. The brown liquid burned your throat and settled in your chest long enough to give you an unpleasant shiver throughout your entire body. It was hard to keep back the water in your eyes and the cough as you downed a shot, chasing that funny feeling that made the world spin and everything a lot less stressful.
You had your own drink but you couldn’t deny Simon when he offered the last three shots of whiskey to you, finding that he could be persuasive when he wanted to be.
Both of you sat on the couch in front of the tv, some kind of movie that Simon hadn’t seen was playing in the background but it had been quickly abandoned after the last few shots. Instead of watching, both of you were preoccupied with each other, talking about everything that you could.
Well, you were doing most of the talking in between shots and sips of a mixed drink while Simon listened. He sipped on his second glass of whiskey but would occasionally join you for a shot when he felt like he was behind you with how drunk you already were.
He wasn’t sure if it was because he was taking it slow and you weren’t or because he was a heavy drinker, but he definitely knew you were having more fun during his birthday than he was. He was too focused on you to really care anyway. You took up the room, demanding his attention and he happily gave it to you without hesitation or protest.
You took another shot, your vision of the world already spinning but you were having too much fun to really notice, and shivered once more. The effects of the alcohol weren't enough to take the bitter taste away just yet.
A smile pulled at the corner of Simon’s lips and he scoffed, getting your attention as you sent him a look through watery eyes.
“Lightweight.” He teased as he took another sip, completely unbothered.
“Shut up, you’re not even drunk.” You slurred and set the shot glass down on the coffee table. “You’re like a mountain.”
“I’m drunk.”
You gave him a suspicious look, one that was over exaggerated due to how drunk you were but it made him smile more nonetheless.
That should’ve been enough for you to know that he was drunk, since he didn’t give out big cheesy smiles like you did. His cheeks were dusted pink and his tired eyes hungry just a little bit heavier, a haze over them as he stared at you with a dopey look as if he couldn’t quite understand what you were saying but he hung onto every word. He looked content, there wasn’t an ounce of stress left even in his usual tense shoulders as his body subconsciously leaned towards yours, almost as if he was hovering over you.
You were sure you looked just as drunk as he did, if not more, and yet he looked at you with bright eyes that bounced around your face often.
“You are!” You laughed and he attempted to hide the smile behind his hand. “Can’t hold your liquor that good.”
“Better than you.” He took another sip and you playfully cussed him out.
You ran a hand over your face and glanced around the room, noting that it had gotten dark outside. Your eyebrows knitted together and you wondered how long it had been since you both sat down after dinner to watch movies, thinking that only an hour or two had passed until you checked the time on your phone.
“Shit! We haven’t done cake yet.” You exclaimed when you saw that it was close to midnight.
“So?” Simon raised an eyebrow as you shot up from your spot on the couch.
“You have to have cake on your birthday.”
You tried your best to not stumble into the kitchen, failing at doing so but thankfully you didn’t fall flat on your face. You were extra careful when getting the cake out of the fridge despite the fact that you were in a rush, making sure that when you placed it on the counter to put the candles on, nothing was in the way.
It was a small cake since you knew that Simon probably would only eat a few slices from it over the week before he was over the sweetness. On top of the icing, almost perfectly written since you were adamant to make it look pretty even though you knew he wouldn’t care, were the words “Happy Birthday Simon”. You placed a few candles around the words, making sure they wouldn’t touch the letters before you carried it into the living room.
You were focused on keeping the cake balanced, not noticing the way Simon’s eyes had softened greatly when you walked into the room and set it in front of him.
“I need your lighter.” You opened your palm urgently.
“You’re gonna burn yourself.” Simon protested with a serious look on his face but you waved him off.
“I won’t! Hurry before it turns midnight.”
Simon hesitantly dug his lighter out of his pocket and handed it to you, watching you intently as you lit the candles, making sure that if you burned yourself he would quickly get you to a sink. However you handed him back the lighter without harming yourself and positioned the cake in front of him properly.
You sat down beside him, your knees touching as you looked between him and the cake. A giddy feeling sprung up in your stomach and you wiggled in your spot excitedly watching Simon’s reaction carefully with clasped hands.
He stared down at the cake with soft eyes, the light from the small flames reflecting in them. They weren’t sad, but you noticed that there was a hint of something more melancholic hidden within his eyes that wasn’t there before until he read the writing. He pulled his hands into his lap almost as if he wasn’t sure what he should do before he hesitantly glanced your way.
You gave him a warm smile, one that signified that whatever he was thinking or feeling was okay, hoping that you didn’t go too far.
“Happy birthday, Simon.” You said softly and scooted close enough that now your thighs were touching.
Simon didn’t say anything but he continued to stare at you, eyes a range of emotion as they bounced around your face, stopping for a moment to look at your lips, until you gestured towards the cake.
“Make a wish.”
He rolled his eyes, a soft huff of amusement leaving his nose before he turned towards the cake and blew out the candles. A small smile pulled at his lips when you cheered and he watched as you stood up from the couch a lot more gracefully this time.
“Want a piece or do I have to eat this all on my own?” You teased and he nodded.
“Not a big one.”
You got plates and quickly cut a small piece out for him and for you. You waited for him to take a bite of it first, almost holding your breath as if this was the very moment that would break your entire ego about your baking skills.
Simon took a small bite of the cake and his eyes shut immediately.
“Fucking hell…” He muttered and your stomach sunk.
“What? Is it bad?” You asked him urgently as you gripped your plate so tight your fingers went sore.
“It’s good, really fucking good what did you put in this?”
Your eyes widened slightly and you felt your chest warm as you watched him eat the piece on his plate faster. You were sure if it was the alcohol making him like the sweetness but as soon as he finished the piece he had he went for another one.
You smiled to yourself, taking a bit out of the cake on your plate. You hummed at the amazing flavors and felt proud of yourself as you eyed Simon.
“My undying desire to celebrate your birthday.”
“Piss off.”
You laughed, leaning into him enough to where you could hear him chuckle under his breath. The giddy feeling inside of you grew and you didn’t dare ignore it as you found yourself enjoying the closeness that you so rarely got with Simon, pushing yourself into his arm just a little more as you finished your piece of the cake.
Your chest warmed more when he leaned against you as if he liked the contact as well and your head fell to his shoulder, a content sigh leaving your chest as you reveled in his warmth. You noticed that he seemed to have gotten hot due to the alcohol and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, causing your eyes to jump down to the tattoo on his arm.
It was rare that you saw it since he often wore long sleeves and when he didn’t you never got a good look at it. You assumed that he didn’t want you to see it since every time you asked or he noticed you were staring at it, he would cover it up. Now, with the way you were sitting against him, he couldn’t see that you were staring at the ink unless he turned to look at you.
His tattoo was a lot more intricate than you had first thought, especially now as your eyes traced over the details in the ink designs. You knew he had a thing for skulls, since the mask he wore around you was the lower jaw of one, so it didn’t surprise you when you saw the skulls littered within the other designs. What did come as a surprise to you was that most of the tattoo was war imagery.
Guns, dog tags, a tank, and a literal military soldier etched into his skin made it less a coincidence and more a deliberate design. It made your eyebrows knit together and you fought the urge to grab his arm to look closer.
Was he military? The more you thought about it, the more it started to make sense with the evidence that you had. Going away for months, the guns, the paranoia and depressive episodes, the wounds, all of it paired with his tattoo made it seem obvious and yet there was one issue.
If he was military, then why didn’t he tell you?
It made you curious and yet wary of the answer. Truly, you didn’t want to know, not when he was so adamant to keep it from you, as if knowing would be something that you would regret.
Besides, someone in his family could be military and despite your reservations about them from your limited knowledge, you weren’t going to be upset if he got a tattoo for them in their memory.
Simon seemed to have noticed that you were staring at it and he placed his large hand over it, covering it from your view and snapping you out of your daze. He looked down at you, his eyes the same as always except you could see that serious look in them, the one demanded you to not ask questions.
“You still have that gift for me or do I need to do somethin’ else for it?” He wondered and you smiled.
“Wait here.” You handed him your plate before you got up and rushed to your room.
You grabbed the joke book from under your bed and made sure that the wrapping was intact. You went to walk out of your room but hesitated a pit growing in your stomach as you stared down at the silly birthday wrapping paper.
Were you really about to give a guy who might be military a joke book? Suddenly you felt foolish, as if you had been caught doing something that you shouldn’t have and you debated on whether you should pretend it got damaged to get something different. It would save you the embarrassment of giving him a stupid book but it would probably disappoint him in the process.
You could unwrap it and give him the card instead, but that would nearly be almost more of a let down than the actual gift.
A huff left you and tapped your fingers against the wrapping paper.
You should’ve just gotten him a generic gift that most men get, like a bottle opener or a pocket knife. At least that way he wouldn’t have been too disappointed.
“Still there?” Simon called out and your heart jumped to your throat.
“Yeah, couldn't find it for a sec.” You lied and took a deep breath before you stepped out of your room.
If you got this over with then at least you could get him a different one later. You could always tell him it was a gag gift in an attempt to save yourself too much embarrassment but you felt that somehow Simon would see right through your lie.
You walked into the living room, holding the book close to you as if it were something precious and sat down further away from him this time, noticing that he always had pulled his sleeves down. You glanced up at him to see that he had the excited look in his eyes like he had earlier in the morning which made you even more nervous.
“You didn’t tell me what you wanted so if it’s bad, I’m sorry.” You prefaced and watched as he raised an eyebrow.
“You’re overthinking this.” He tried to assure you with his usual deadpan tone.
“Maybe…just don’t laugh if it’s that bad.”
“I won’t.”
You hesitantly outstretched the gift for him and watched as he gently took it from your hands. You chewed on your lip as you watched him inspect the wrapping on it before he began to tear it off, causing you to grip the couch underneath you. You were practically burning holes into his face when he finally took all of the wrapping off and looked at the cover of the book.
Simon's eyes lit up and it helped calm some of your nerves.
“I wasn’t sure what you were allowed to have when you’re gone but I got it travel sized.” You explained and he glanced at you with a twinkle in his eyes.
“You like my jokes that much?” He seemed amused by the idea and when you nodded, he huffed a laugh.
“There’s a card in the front.”
Simon pulled the card out, a simple card with a dinosaur on the front that had “ur old” written on the front, and sent you a quick glare that made you snicker. He opened the card and raised an eyebrow at the twenty pounds that fell onto his lap.
“Nobody likes cards without money.” You shrugged and he picked up the note to inspect it. “Use it to get cigarettes or something pretty.”
“Something pretty.” He repeated with amusement. “Think a I need a pop of color?”
“It’d do you good I think.”
He grunted and looked at the card, his face falling when his eyes landed on the polaroid that was taped on the inside and the writing that was scrawled onto the blank space of the card. His sudden change in his expression made you fidget with your fingers as you remembered the photo.
It was a rare photo of you and Simon together, one that you pretty much had to force him to take with you since he seemed to be allergic to any kind of camera. You promised him that it was just for you since you wanted to at least document that you were friends with him somehow. You ended up making two copies and thought it was fitting for him to have one since he was your friend after all.
“I forgot I put that in there…” You mumbled but trailed off as you realized he most likely wasn’t listening.
Simon read the words on the card over and over again, his eyes jumping from them to the polaroid as if he couldn’t understand what he was seeing. His shoulders had tensed up and his free hand clutched the banknote so tight that it crumpled in his grasp.
By now you were worried that you had either overstepped or completely failed with the gift giving. You were disheartened, your throat tightening up just a bit as you tried to come up with something to say to alleviate the situation.
“You can ignore what’s on the card, I wrote it when you were gone.” Your eyes were glued to his face to see his reaction.
Simon’s eyes darted to you and you shrunk underneath his intense gaze. He was breathing ever so slightly harder, enough for you to notice, and his eyes hazy yet there was something deep hidden within them, something that made a shiver go down your spine. His gaze was too much but you still couldn’t look away as much as you wanted to, as if looking away from him would cause more trouble.
He haphazardly put the card down and before you could react, took your face into his hands and kissed you on the corner of the mouth.
You froze. Your eyes were wide and your heart was in your ears as your mind raced a million times a minute, trying to figure out if what just happened was real and if he truly meant to kiss you there. All the while Simon stared at you with similar shock, almost as if he didn’t mean for it to happen at all.
Was he going for your cheek and missed? Was he going for your lips and missed? Did he actually just kiss you or was it a really drunk hug?
You were panicking, your already shot nerves mixing with the alcohol created a strange feeling in your stomach that urged you to attempt to kiss him back.
However, much to your dismay, he quickly pulled away from you before you could even have your lips connected. Heat immediately washed over you and you nearly ran out of the room as you scooted away from him, completely unable to look him in the eyes now as you felt the need to sink into the couch and never appear again.
You misread the situation, the alcohol had gotten you, the horrible, stupid liquid turned your brain to mush and made you too impulsive. You wanted to die, you wanted to do anything to get rid of the embarrassment you felt that you went to leave before Simon grabbed onto your wrist.
“Don’t.” He pulled you back down and kept hold of your wrist. “Look at me.”
You couldn’t make yourself look at him even if you wanted to. The thought of having to stare at his intense eye right now made you feel sick to your stomach. You just wanted to hide in your room until both of you decided that this never happened and that your friendship wasn’t ruined by a misunderstanding.
“Please.”
One word, soft and desperate, had you turning your entire body towards him immediately. You hesitated for a moment before you looked into his eyes, the comforting brown dowsing some of your nerves as he drank up your face, the intensity still there but held back by the fact that his face was red and he eyes broke from yours multiple times.
He looked just as embarrassed as you felt.
You were about to apologize when he cut you off.
“Not like this.” He swallowed hard and stared deep into your eyes hoping that you would understand what he meant without him having to say it out loud.
It took you a moment to realize and most of the embarrassment fading as his eyes darted away from yours. You stared down at his hand around your wrist, his hot skin against yours prickle with goosebumps before you eyes widened. If he doesn’t want to kiss you now that means he wants to kiss you later which means he’s thought about kissing you.
You felt dizzy at the thought and you could hardly think straight as it was. You couldn’t think about the implications of the words he said right now, not when you were stumbling drunk and close to a heart attack due to this very awkward situation that he admittedly put you both in.
“Oh.”
That’s all you could think to say. A meek ‘oh’ as if that was enough to convey the feelings and thoughts raging inside of you that would surely clear the air if you said them yet you couldn’t find the words to do so. But right now maybe that wasn’t what you both needed.
No, right now you needed to ease the situation so you could think about this later with a clear mind and without screwing it up more.
“Tell me a joke.” You said, your voice still small, and he looked at you with confusion. “Tell me a joke, Simon.”
Simon let go of your wrist and turned away from you. He gave you one last glance before he picked up the joke book and flipped through the pages, taking his time to read through the lines which filled the room with awkward silence that mixed with the random movie on the TV.
He took a deep breath and cleared his throat.
“What do you call a prisoner going down the stairs?” He asked and you knitted your eyebrow with confusion. He didn’t look up from the book when you didn’t answer but he nodded. “Condescending.”
“Oh man.” You scoffed, cringing at the horrible joke but finding it hard to not laugh all the same.
You fought against a smile that threatened to appear on your face and you made eye contact with Simon as he glanced at you. You watched as his shoulder relaxed slightly and he looked back down at the book in his hands, eyes skimming the words like mad.
“A book fell on my head today. I’ve only got my shelf to blame.”
“Ugh! Horrible.”
You couldn’t hold back your laughter now or the smile as the alcohol made it so much easier for the jokes to make you happy. You scooted closer to him and he turned his body towards you, his eyes still looking at you hesitantly, almost as if he was asking you permission to keep going or to even look at you, but he couldn’t help but smile as well.
“What kind of murderer has fiber?” He asked and you shook your head.
“I’m going to regret this aren’t I?” You waited for him to continue as you prematurely cringed from the bad joke that was about to grace your ears.
“A cereal killer.”
You made a disgusted sound but laughed and rested your forehead against his shoulder. You expected him to nudge you off but he didn’t and instead you heard him let out a quick sigh of relief before he flipped through the book again.
Simon rattled off a few more jokes, each of them making you laugh and taking the tension out of the air until both of you were settled against each other on the couch as if nothing had happened. He pressed his shoulder against yours as he closed the book and stared up at the ceiling.
The movie took up the silence as you both sat there for a moment.
You looked up at him and he looked down at you when he saw you move from the corner of his eye. You took in his scars again and the way that they seemed more prominent from his red cheeks, looking into his eyes to see that they still had the tired look in them before you spoke.
“How drunk are you?” You wondered and he blinked.
“Not drunk enough to forget this.” He admitted, knowing exactly the reason why you asked him.
You nodded, knowing that you were the same. Even if you were more drunk than you were right now sure that you would remember something like this and yet the thought didn’t scare you. As embarrassing as it was, you didn’t want to forget it.
“Good.”
Link to Part 3
A/N: This feels messy but honestly I can't go back and restart so I hope it's okay. Also Idk how the UK money system works so just imagine what I put is correct and not wrong lol
EDIT: I forgot to put the tags sorry!! @msecho19
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#cod ghost x reader#ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost x y/n#mw2 ghost#ghost mw2#cod ghost
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omg i love the new bar menuuuuu 🩷🩷
could i please have a tall rum n coke 🙂↕️ tysm and i love ur work!!! 🫶🫶
i love u
oscar piastri x reserve driver!reader
Me and him? that's funny
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"Y/n!" you heard someone call out as you strolled through the paddock. A Sky Sports reporter waved you over.
"Hey, what's up?" you greeted with a smile.
"Could you answer a few questions?"
"Sure! I should probably have the PR manager here, but, oh well," you joked lightly.
"This being your first year as McLaren's reserve driver, how’s it been so far?"
"It’s been great," you answered honestly. "The team’s been super welcoming, and I’m learning so much."
"I’m glad to hear that! And you’ve known Oscar Piastri for quite a while, right?"
Your face lit up. "Yeah, we’ve been racing together forever. It's been amazing to end up here, on this journey together."
"Are you two just friends, or...?"
You laughed at the question. "Me and him? That’s funny."
Still chuckling to yourself, you made your way to the garage after saying goodbye. Sure, Oscar was practically your other half, but you never thought of it that way. You’d always spent loads of time together, especially now that you were both at McLaren, but it never seemed romantic. You understood each other like no one else could.
When qualifying ended, you hung around the garage waiting for Oscar and Lando to return. Lando arrived first, and you chatted for a while until you saw Oscar walking towards his room.
"Hey, great work, Osc," you called out. But instead of his usual smile, Oscar shot you a cold look and kept walking.
"What the hell was that about?" you muttered.
Lando scratched the back of his head awkwardly, avoiding your gaze.
"Spill," you demanded, narrowing your eyes.
"He's a little upset about something you said to Sky earlier," Lando mumbled. "About it being funny that people think you and him would be together."
"Because it is funny," you said, scrunching your nose. "He’s my best friend."
"I mean… you guys kinda act like more than that," Lando said slowly, realizing you were completely oblivious.
"Examples, please," you said weakly. Lando smirked.
"Well, let’s see," he began. "You’re always touching or sitting right next to each other. You two have your own world of inside jokes, and you drop everything to hang out with one another. Not to mention the intense sexual tension anytime we have a drink."
"Okay, okay, I get it," you cut him off, embarrassed.
"The list goes on, babe," Lando teased, and you groaned, hiding your face in your hands.
"How did I not see this?"
"You’ve known each other forever," Lando reasoned. "Maybe it changed over time without you realizing it. Oscar never mentioned it until today."
You looked up sharply. "What did he say?"
"Uh, he asked what I thought about your answer," Lando said, fumbling. "I told him it was amusing since you two act like a couple already, and… he stormed off."
"Shit," you muttered, feeling a knot form in your stomach.
Lando hesitated before asking, "Would it really be that crazy?"
You chewed on your lip, lost in thought. Lando wasn’t wrong. You had always been attached at the hip, acting like a couple without the label. Oscar was the one person you turned to for everything.
"I need to go," you said abruptly, heading towards Oscar’s room. When you arrived, the door was locked, and his things were gone. Panicking, you rushed through the paddock, grabbed a car, and sped back to the hotel. Thankfully, you knew exactly where he was staying—he always picked the room next to yours.
God you were so stupid, you thought. All these signs just hanging out in front of you.
Banging on his door you grew nervous about what you were going to say. Oscar swung the door open, dressed in only a pair of gray sweats and your eyes lingered. Fucking hell, it's like you had been sexually awakened after sorting through your feelings.
He didn’t say a word, just stared at you, and the silence hung heavy.
"Can I come in?" you asked quietly, your voice more unsure than usual. He stepped aside, letting you enter.
As you stepped inside, the air between you felt thick with tension—different from the playful banter you were used to. Oscar closed the door behind you, his movements slow, deliberate. He still hadn’t said a word, and that unnerved you.
You turned to face him, trying to find the right words. "Oscar, about what I said earlier—"
"It’s fine," he cut you off abruptly, walking towards the bed and sitting down. His tone was clipped, but you could hear the hurt underneath it.
"No, it’s not," you said, taking a step closer. "I didn’t realize…I didn’t mean it like that."
Oscar sighed, running a hand through his hair. "So what did you mean, then?"
You swallowed hard, your throat suddenly dry. You hadn’t exactly prepared a speech for this moment. You had no idea how you were going to explain years of friendship turning into something more without even realizing it.
"I guess I’ve always seen you as… my best friend," you started, hesitating as the words felt heavy on your tongue. "And I never stopped to think it could be more. But… after talking to Lando, I realized maybe it already is."
Oscar’s eyes flicked up to meet yours, searching your face for something—truth, hope, maybe even an explanation.
"I didn’t mean to laugh when they asked about us," you continued, stepping closer until you were standing right in front of him. "It just caught me off guard because I never let myself consider it. But, Osc… maybe I should have."
Oscar’s jaw clenched, and he looked away, his voice quiet. "It wasn’t funny to me."
The vulnerability in his words made your heart ache. You reached out, placing a tentative hand on his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his skin under your fingertips. "I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you felt that way."
He finally looked back at you, his expression softening. "You’ve always been more to me, Y/n. I’ve known it for a while, but I didn’t want to ruin what we have, so I kept quiet. But when I heard you laugh… it hurt."
"I didn’t mean to hurt you," you said softly, your hand sliding down his arm, linking your fingers with his. "I was just being stupid. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without you."
Oscar squeezed your hand gently, pulling you closer. "You wouldn’t have to do anything without me, Y/n," he whispered. "I’ve been here this whole time. Waiting."
Your breath caught in your throat. The room felt smaller, and the weight of all the unsaid things hung between you like a string pulled taut. You were scared, but not of Oscar—scared of how much he meant to you, how much you’d been afraid to admit it, even to yourself.
With a shaky breath, you let go of the fear and leaned in, pressing your forehead to his. "I think I’ve been waiting too, but I didn’t even know it."
Oscar's eyes closed at the touch, and he let out a small, relieved sigh, like the weight of everything was finally lifting. His other hand came up to cup the side of your face, thumb brushing your cheek.
"Then don’t wait anymore," he murmured, his lips barely an inch from yours.
You didn’t.
Closing the distance between you, you kissed him, and it felt like the final piece of a puzzle falling into place. The kiss was soft but filled with all the unspoken words you two had held back for so long. It was a confession, an apology, and a promise all at once.
When you finally pulled away, Oscar smiled—really smiled, and you couldn’t help but smile back.
"So," he said, his voice lighter now, "does this mean you don’t think it’s funny anymore?"
You laughed, resting your head against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. "Not even a little bit."
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I thought about Mav passed out at his work desk with headphones on and it spiralled into this whole thing
Mav always felt a little lonely.
Even when he had people around him who loved him, he always ended up on his own one way or another and felt that loneliness seeping in. Goose was the first to notice. Before Goose's trips back to Tennessee to see Carole included Mav, he would come back to base to hear about how his pilot had lost a bit of his shine while he was away.
That's when Goose started making the recordings.
It was a small gift, but it meant the world to Mav. A brand new walkman, headphones and all, and a single cassette tape. This tape didn't have music on it, no, it contained a three hour recording of Goose reading though the F-14 Tomcat Flight Manual and adding in his own comedic commentary.
He wasn't sure what Mav would think of it, but when he returned home from another trip and found his pilot curled up asleep on the lounge, headphones on, walkman clutched in his hands, the tape run through, he realised he had made the right decision. Once Mav stirred, realising Goose had returned, he pulled the RIO onto the couch and thanked him for how thoughtful and considerate of a gift it was. That it made him feel less alone.
Goose continued the recordings. They were simple things he could make while completing other work. An hour recording here of Goose rambling while he completed chores, half an hour recording there of Goose muttering while he completes some paperwork. Even after Mav started joining him on his trips to Carole and they inevitably became attached at the hip, Goose continued making recordings. They grew more sincere over time, telling Mav that he was loved and he was strong and could get through anything.
Maverick was very glad he continued making them. It was a piece of Goose he could always carry with him.
Because one day, Goose wasn't there anymore.
Ice was never quite certain why his wingman was always listening to music on a busted walkman, but he never questioned it.
That was until he was packing Mav an overnight bag after an accident and Mav had specifically requested the walkman. Ice had taken a closer look at it and seen the writing on the cassette.
‘GOOSE - 12’
Curiosity got the better of him and he pulled on the headphones and pressed play.
“Y'know, Mav-” It was Goose's voice, Ice realised with a pang deep in his chest, “- I'm pretty sure, by like, most, if not all, the laws of aviation, you should have broken our Tomcat's airframe several times over. I honestly don't know how she's still together-” There was the clinking of dishes and sloshing of water along with the distinct sound of a bristly, sudsy brush scrubbing metal. “- What sort of demon did you make a deal with to manage this? I'm not arguing, I'd rather not face a board of inquiry again, but I'm curious.”
Ice paused it.
He realised very quickly what the cassette was and that, judging on the number, there were more of these.
Mav was always listening to Goose talk.
He packed the walkman into the overnight bag with much more care than he offered possibly anything.
Mav stared.
He blinked once, then twice. But it changed nothing.
There was a cassette sitting on his bed. On it, was scribbled a name and a number.
‘ICE - 1’
Beneath it was a small, simple note.
‘Listen to me.’
Mav pushed the cassette into his walkman and, sitting down, let it play.
“Hey, Mav. Sorry if this is weird for you, it sure feels weird for me. I- uh- I realised what the walkman is for. I'm sorry I teased you for it, it's not dumb and old. I know Slider thought you were pretty cool for having one. He's got one too. But anyways, I found a recording of Goose and I realised why you have this so I thought, y'know, maybe I could make you some new ones? To make up for the teasing at least. I mightn't be as good as Goose but I'll give it my best shot. I've got a book here, I'm just gonna read it out loud for a while, okay? Okay. Here we go…”
Mav listened to the whole thing in one sitting. It was long and sweet and Mav felt something aching inside him, something that hadn't ached in a long time.
Every week or so, Mav would find another cassette in his room with an increased number on it. It was just Ice for a while, but then he found one labelled ‘SLIDER - 1’. Then another a few months later labelled ‘HOLLYWOOD - 1’, then ‘WOLFMAN - 1’. His collection grew as more people helped continue Goose's legacy.
The day he found ‘VIPER - 1’ he felt like he was five again. Viper's recording was two hours worth of him recounting childhood stories of Mav, stories of him with his parents, of just his parents, and deployment tales of his dad.
Once Mav buys his first proper home, an old hangar out in the Mojave Desert, he builds a small shelf to hold all of his cassettes instead of keeping them in a bag or a box. It's then, when they're all neatly organised together, that he realises just how many he has.
The original thirty-one from Goose.
Three from Carole.
One short one from Bradley.
Seventeen from Iceman.
Ten from Slider.
Seven each from Hollywood and Wolfman.
Four from Chipper.
Three from Sunny.
And, so far, Two from Viper.
He doesn't feel so lonely anymore. Everyone he loves has put time and effort into making sure he doesn't feel alone. That instead, he feel loved.
And he sure does.
Even now, years down the track, Ice will stumble upon Maverick passed out at his work desk late at night ontop of a half finished project, with his old walkman next to him, headphones on, listening to Goose laugh his way through the Tomcat manual.
#sam writes#top gun#top gun 1986#tg 86#tg86#icemav#goosemav#maverick#pete maverick mitchell#pete mitchell#iceman#tom iceman kazansky#tom kazansky#cassette tapes#cassettes#walkmans#fanfiction#fanfic#top gun fanfiction#goose#nick goose bradshaw#nick bradshaw
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Two jobs, part 2
word count; 1107 – set a few years after part 1, reader and Osamu are married and the three of you live together. I gave your son a name, Kazuo, to make writing easier
You were away on a business trip and left your two favourite guys to take care of each other for a few days. Luckily, you didn’t have to do this often, but you were relieved they got along so well that you could. Even though Kazuo grew attached to Osamu in a way before you two even started dating, it had been an adjustment for all of you after you got married and moved in together, especially because your son was at his most difficult age.
Currently, Kazuo sat on a bar chair by the island counter while Osamu made dinner. The two would often hang out in the kitchen together, because Kazuo liked spending time with Osamu when he had an excuse for it. He also found it hilarious when he asked his stepdad for help with his homework and Samu got frustrated because he didn’t understand it either. It was a peaceful connection they had, and you usually did your best to let them have their time in the kitchen to themselves even when you were home.
“Hey, look at this.” Osamu said to catch his attention. When Kazuo looked up, he did some weird juggling trick with the pepper shaker before adding the necessary seasoning to the soup he was making. Then he did the same with the salt to show it wasn’t a fluke. “Am I cool, or what?” It was meant as a joke, but there was a hopeful look in his eyes.
Kazuo made a face. “Uhh… yeah.” he said, which was an obvious lie, making Osamu deflate. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt particularly sensitive about it all of a sudden. Perhaps it had something to do with the difference of how Kazuo looked when he got to play volleyball with his twin compared to how he politely declined lately when Osamu asked him if they should do some passes in the garden.
“Do you not think I’m cool?” he asked after a long silence, leaning one hand on his hip while the other stirred the soup to make sure it didn’t stick to the bottom.
“Not like Tsumu.” Kazuo answered honestly without thinking about it, eyes on his homework so he didn’t notice his stepdad’s face scrunching up. If he thought he felt sensitive before, that one hit the spot for sure. “But it’s okay, being a chef is good too.” The boy honestly didn’t think adults cared so much about being cool.
“Yeah, yeah, don’t take pity on me now.” he said followed by a deep sigh. “Maybe I should cook you instead, you gremlin.” Kazuo just laughed, unknowing of Osamu’s bruised ego. When he turned back to his homework, Osamu pulled his phone out and opened messages, sending a simple ‘You’re ugly and stupid’ to Atsumu without context. That made him feel a little better, at least. You bet he’ll call you that night before bed for some reassurance. And to remind you that he loves you, of course.
Sometimes, Kazuo was allowed to go to parties in exchange for sharing his location at all times while he was away with whichever parental figure was home at the time. Usually, the parties were alright. Typical underage parties where someone had stolen a few beers from a parent and they all tasted it before looking disgusted and swearing to never drink it again. He would be picked up at the agreed time with a few complaints of how lame you were for setting those rules, and then he would tell you he loved you under his breath before going to bed.
However, they were growing older and that came with engaging in new topics of interest. That’s how Kazuo ended up in a game of seven minutes in heaven that he desperately wanted out of. It’s not like he could just tell them he might prefer guys over girls, he wasn’t even sure yet himself! It was all too much, so he snuck away and pulled out his phone with slightly shaky hands. You’re still on your business trip, and he was starting to miss you even though he would never tell you that. After all, you were the only one he relied on for the first 10 years of his life.
He pulled up his contacts on the old phone you had gifted him, scrolling past your contact until he got to a Miya. Even though he knew Atsumu liked spending time with him, he didn’t seem to have that much spare time anymore. Actually, he probably wouldn’t call Atsumu for an emergency anyways, he realised. Tsumu was more of a cool uncle, like he told Osamu in the kitchen the day before. Now that he was in trouble, he already knew who he had to call.
“Samu…” Kazuo said, voice cracking a little so he pretended to clear his throat.
“What’s up, buddy?” Osamu sounded tired, like he had taken a nap in that recliner he loved to occupy when you weren’t home. If you knew he snoozed off while your boy was at a party, you would not be happy, but at least he picked up the phone.
“Can you come pick me up?” he asked not too loudly, frowning at the floor. “I’m okay, I just want to go home.” He tried to sound tough and chill, but it didn’t fool Osamu.
“Sure, I’ll head out now. Go outside in about 15 minutes but not before. Actually, stay inside until I’m there.” Kazuo chuckled a bit at Osamu’s short ramble where he corrected himself, then he hummed in confirmation and hung up. So he told his friends he was feeling under the weather and went outside when Osamu came to pick him up.
Kazuo didn’t say much more than “Thanks for picking me up,” and “I don’t want to talk about it,” after getting in the car, and Osamu knew he would rather tell you about it than him, so he didn’t pry.
Instead, he clicked his tongue with a cheeky smile. “You know, the new Star Wars movie just came out for streaming. I won’t tell your mom we stayed up late if you don’t.”
And as he looked to the side where Kazuo fiddled with his hands in the passenger seat wearing a relieved smile, safe because he dared text him for help, Osamu decided that he didn’t need to be cool. He just had to be there.
Even so, his chest bloomed with pride when Kazuo came out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth for the night and told him, “Thanks for the movie, Samu. You are pretty cool.”
masterlist
taglist: @miyamizuna, @makkir0ll, @shiratorizawa-can-step-on-me, @sobbing-leave-me-alone-bots, @eeerreehhh, @f4iryk3i, @cosmiicdust, @malikazz243
#haikyu x reader#haikyu#haikyuu#hq x reader#fanfiction#haikyuu x reader#hq#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x you#haikyu fluff#stepdad!osamu#miya osamu x reader#miya osamu#osamu x reader
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it has occurred to me that this was supposed to be a parkner blog. so here’s some parkner thoughts.
fun fact- harley’s a little gay boy from tennessee who grew up hearing that the devil came for kids like him who wanted to kiss the wrong person. so when harley moves to new york, he’s not immediately waving a pride flag. instead, he has a beat up leather jacket, an old car, and a smirk that could cut glass. peter is sold and practically swooning because hello, gorgeous. but he’s also like,,, harley’s from tennessee. what if he’s like, homophobic??? and not an ✨ally✨??? and then harley full on outs himself to an asshole who harasses peter on the street with an ‘I’m gay, dickface’ and just. punches him hard enough to break his nose. (peter is THIS close to proposing okay)
harley forgets everything. out of sight, out of mind. keys? gone. phone? poof. jacket? who? and peter’s memory is kind of shit, too, honestly, but karen’s memory is fucking golden (perks of being a computer) and she’ll remind peter to remind harley to grab his stuff. harley still doesn’t know peter has karen do it, so he just thinks his boyfriend’s awesome. peter’s not gonna correct him.
peter doesn’t wear nail polish that often, but when harley casually (definitely not feeling casual internally, but that’s fine) mentioned that he was considering sometimes wearing it, peter went ALL OUT. like, he added color, he added glitter, he made his nails the biggest and brightest part of his being. harley called him an idiot, but he would always grin when he saw them, so peter considered it a win.
harley likes country music. but only the country music from 70s-90s. the rest is absolute slander to him.
(yes, I wrote a whole ass fic about that, and no, I’m not sorry.)
peter can’t draw for shit. he just can’t. harley swears by stick figures. (watch the insidious part two promo with ty. you’ll get what I mean.)
peter does unironically call himself biderman. harley calls him homophobic.
harley’s defining emotion is offense and/or what he calls his ‘bitch, fucking excuse you?’ emotion, and he’s very proud of this fact.
peter’s favorite color changes pretty consistently, but he’s really attached to his blue and red, especially when they’re together.
harley’s is dark red (darker than peter’s), and gold. he will deny to his denying breath that it’s tony’s colors, because ‘why would I care about the old man? fuck off’
they aren’t allowed to have a dog, because new york (peter is so sad about this, okay), so harley just brought home a pet lizard one day. no warning. no call. peter asked zero questions and named her mrs. cheeto.
#marvel#marvel mcu#mcu#mcu spiderman#spiderman#autistic spiderman#trans spiderman#biderman#bi peter parker#peter 3#trans peter parker#peter parker#peter x harley#parley#parkner#harley keener#peter parker x harley keener#harley keener x peter parker#nwh#gay#gay spiderman#emme’s bad ideas
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no strings attached – genji shimada
NSFW!!! MINORS DNI!!!!
a/n: hello, first post on my new blog >:3 this note is gonna be long and ramble-y so feel free to skip it. to begin with, everything about this fic was unplanned. i never planned on my first post here being overwatch related, nor did i plan on it being porn, but here we are with overwatch porn. and then, i was only trying to write a short 1-2k word valentine's day smut, but it is 2 days after valentine's and this fic is 5.5k words long with layers like a cake. this is the first thing i've written for overwatch, and also the first smut i've written in 2 years, so i may be rusty. i hope you enjoy it anyway.
word count: 5.5k
tags/summary: porn with plot (kind of), mild angst?, idiots in love. you invite genji over, hoping that having sex with him would help you get over the annoying feelings you have for him. that doesn't happen for you.
warnings: no pronouns used for reader, female genitalia is vaguely described tho, unprotected sex
edited to add: this fic is now on my ao3 as well! thanks to @smol-dragon for reminding me :3
"damn it. fuck."
you lock your phone and squeeze your eyelids shut, forcing the screen out of your vision, and throw your head back against the pillow in frustration. this is so, so stupid, you tell yourself, and it is stupid, yet you can't let it go.
you were an adult– you shouldn't be having inner turmoil about how you wanted to have sex with someone. it wasn't anything you hadn't done before, but for some reason, it was suddenly impossible to navigate.
"damn you, genji," you mutter, slapping one of your hands against your forehead.
this was all his fault. you'd never felt the urge to have sex with a coworker, honestly, the thought had never even crossed your mind... or at least, that was true until you met genji. you ignored your attraction to the cyborg at first– sure, he was nice to look at and had an alluring air of danger about him, but he was no different from cassidy in that regard. you figured whatever attraction you had to him would quickly dissipate into nothing, as it did with the cowboy, but to your dismay, it only grew stronger.
at first, you found yourself admiring the intricacy of his cybernetic body parts, and then his combat style. then, you found yourself staring at him for much longer, entranced by his form and the way he spoke.
genji himself did absolutely nothing to alleviate you of your newly-contracted disease. in fact, it almost seemed that he intentionally made it worse. he'd jump to your aid in combat, ghost his fingers across you in passing, and you caught him casting you lingering glances, though you could never tell what thoughts were going on behind his actions.
you told yourself it was probably nothing, that you were being delusional and trying to convince yourself that your crush (if you could call it that) was reciprocated. you were almost successful in convincing yourself to let it go, but the interaction between the two of you today not only reignited your thoughts of him, but intensified them.
genji had been in one of the sparring ranges at headquarters, dutifully practicing his aim, though you didn't really think it was necessary. you were observing, over-exaggerating your interest in his technique as an excuse to be around him, and offhandedly made a comment about wishing you could use a sword.
"i'd be happy to teach you," genji had replied.
you jumped at the offer, but severely overestimated yourself in terms of your sword-wielding capabilities. it looked easy, but maybe that was just because you'd only ever seen genji do it, and he made it seem effortless. after failing miserably, you were ready to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment, but genji seemed determined to teach you.
he'd walked up behind you, using one hand to correct your posture, and the other to guide your hands into the correct position along the sword's hilt. you were almost literally on fire underneath his touch, and it was suddenly very difficult to focus on what you were doing.
"i think this might be a waste of time," you'd commented, staring down intently at the sword in your hands so genji couldn't see how red your face was. "i'm afraid i may be a difficult person to teach."
"i'll gladly teach you about anything you want to learn," genji said, standing entirely too close to you with his hands on your shoulder and wrist. "no matter how difficult you may be."
(y/n.exe has stopped working.)
you stared back at him, wide-eyed, with every functional part of your brain failing you. fortunately for you, your phone rang, interrupting the uncomfortable sexual tension that had suddenly filled the room. mercy was calling, requesting your help with something 'important'. after pretending you were really sorry for leaving so abruptly, you practically ran out of the room, silently thanking the doctor for calling you at the best possible time and giving you a get-out-of-jail free card.
you sat through the tactical meeting with mercy and tracer, though you had absolutely no helpful feedback to offer. your mind was fixed on genji the entire time, and your skin still felt hot from where his hands had been. i really need to get laid, you thought, this is pathetic.
now, even though it was hours later, you were still in the same predicament. try as you might, your brain absolutely refused to focus on anything or anyone besides genji. your television had long since blurred into background noise, bits and pieces of some stupid rom-com becoming the soundtrack to your turmoil.
maybe i should just text him... you think, for the millionth time. it was easy, or at least, it should have been easy. finding someone to screw wasn't usually this difficult for you, and you usually didn't care one way or another, but the thought of genji rejecting you was terrifying. even worse was the thought of having to see him again afterwards.
your mind goes back to the sparring range, and you swallow harshly. 'desperate' was never a word you'd use to describe yourself before, but now... when it came to genji, it was kind of an understatement.
"fuck it," you say aloud, swallowing your pride and unlocking your phone.
- hey. are you busy?
he starts typing immediately. how scary.
- i am not. do you need something?
- kind of. i have... a question.
"i am such a fucking loser," you mutter as you watch genji's text bubble appear on the screen.
- what is it?
suddenly, you didn't want to ask anymore. maybe you could go out for drinks with cassidy instead of doing this. you stare blankly at the screen for a while.
- ???
- actually, nevermind. it's embarrassing.
- surely no worse than your attempt at swordsmanship?
- sorry, that was a joke.
- wow, okay. definitely not asking now :'(
- come on.
- okay. do you wanna...
- have sex? with me?
you watch in horror as he starts typing, then stops, then starts again.
- are you serious?
- that is entirely dependent on your answer.
- why... are you asking me?
- i don't know how to answer that.
- i'm definitely taking that as a no.
- i didn't say that.
- well, you didn't say yes either...
- i'm not sure i understand what you're getting at here
- not sure what you mean by that. i'm just asking to have sex
- for the record, i'm not expecting you to be my boyfriend or anything
- just a one time thing. no strings attached
- no strings attached? lol
- okay
okay? okay? what the hell was 'okay' supposed to mean?
- are you there?
- yes. an answer?
- if you're gonna say no i'd like to go ahead and get it over with so that i can go get drunk enough to forget my shame lmao
- that won't be necessary.
- the answer is yes. obviously
your heart almost stops beating for a second. surely this, too, was a joke.
- seriously? like... actually?
- ...
- yes?
- wow! unexpected.
- are you free? like... tonight, maybe?
- i'll be there. 20 minutes?
twenty minutes? was that enough time to prepare? you immediately scramble out of bed to your dresser, searching for something risqué to wear. you owned an obscene amount of lingerie, but for some reason, none of it seemed good enough for the occasion.
you knew enough about genji's past to know that he'd been with more than his fair share of people, and though you weren't inexperienced by any means, it had been a while– most of your time had been dedicated to overwatch lately. you were sure that the names and faces of genji's old lovers blurred together, and although you specifically said 'no strings attached', you wanted to make the best possible impression. even if you never slept together again, you wanted to be memorable, at the very least.
eventually, you realize you're running short on time and opt to put on your personal favorite set. it had never steered you wrong before. you quickly change into it and throw on an oversized hoodie with some random game logo on it– very basic, you noted, but you didn't want to look like you were trying too hard, although you definitely were.
after checking the time, you wander aimlessly around the house waiting for genji to arrive. you definitely weren't nervously pacing from room to room, overanalyzing every aspect of this situation– no, that is not at all what you were doing. before long, you hear a knock at the door. your anxiety spikes through the roof, but you do your best to get a hold of yourself as you walk to the foyer to let genji in.
when you open the door, you see genji, as expected, and he looks the same as always. there was nothing special about his outfit (because why would there be?) and you're very glad you didn't decide to wear something over-the-top. he's also wearing a mask, as usual, but you can actually see his eyes with this one.
"i like your shirt," he says casually. "good game."
you blink at him, having been completely lost in the crimson pools of his irises.
"oh, yeah, it is," you reply, nodding in affirmation. "um, come inside."
he laughs quietly as he steps through the doorway, and you furrow your brows at him in confusion, but decide to ignore it and move on. you lead genji through the house, mentally grasping for straws as to where to go from here. to be honest, you didn't think you'd get this far, so you're at a complete loss.
"sorry, i feel like this feels really weird. i don't usually... sleep with my coworkers," you explain as you reach the bedroom.
genji's eyes are fixed on you, and despite having a clear view of them, you still can't tell what he's thinking. it proves to be very anxiety-inducing.
"i didn't think you did," he says.
"thanks? i think?" you reply, unsure of how else to react. "i'm going to warn you that this might actually go really, really badly, because i haven't slept with anyone in a while, and you kind of make me really nervous, and i also don't–"
you're cut off by genji moving closer to you and moving his hand towards your face. the action causes your words to vanish and your train of thought to come to a screeching halt. you stare at him with wide eyes as he moves a stray strand of hair from your face and brushes it behind your ear.
"i make you nervous?" he asks, an amused tone to his question. "you? nervous?"
you can feel heat rush to your cheeks, and you're hyper-aware of his hand lingering near your face, but despite this you try your best to sound cool. "yeah, i know, it's pretty hard to believe! but it's true."
genji laughs. "you're funny."
"i am?"
"yeah," he replies. his dark eyes are sparkling a bit, and although you can't see it, you can tell that he's smiling beneath the mask.
you look away from his face, your gaze falling to his hand. it's still in the air, close enough to your cheek that you can feel the warmth, but not quite touching you. he seems... strangely hesitant to touch you, so you decide to take the initiative.
genji's eyes widen a bit as you reach out and cup his face, brushing your thumb across the sleek metal of his mask.
"are you planning to keep this on?" you ask.
genji freezes in place, visibly caught off guard by your question. "i–"
you giggle at his reaction. "hey, no pressure. it doesn't matter to me. i'll still think you're hot either way."
"i fear you'll change your mind about that," he mutters.
you frown, unsure of what to say. "there really isn't anything that could make me change my mind about you, genji. but seriously, do whatever you're comfortable with."
he makes a quiet noise in response, and you can see in his eyes that he's thinking carefully about what to do. after a few seconds of silence, he holds your wrist and moves it away with one hand, then carefully removes his mask with the other. you can't help but stare, not only because you're surprised that he actually chose to remove his mask, but because he's even better looking than you had imagined– scars and all.
he looks at you, eyes filled with uncertainty, and clearly a bit uncomfortable.
"you're staring. sorry to disappoint. i can put it back on, if you'd prefer..." he says quietly, as if he's ashamed. it's sad, enough so to distract you from your mission of keeping things clean and simple.
you shake your head and wrap your arms around his neck, staring up at him with a reassuring smile. "i'd prefer if you didn't, actually. i can't believe you didn't tell me you were so good-looking underneath that mask."
"i... don't think that's a term i'd use. not anymore, at least," he says, not meeting your gaze. "but i'm glad that you think so."
genji hesitantly puts his hands on your hips, his eyes fixed on the logo on your hoodie. he doesn't seem to know how to react to your compliments, but there's a shy smile on his face nonetheless.
"i mean, i thought you were hot enough before. it never occurred to me that you could manage to be even hotter," you tell him with a smirk.
he looks up at you, blushing profusely, and you're filled with a sense of satisfaction. "i, um, didn't realize you felt so strongly about me."
you look away, deciding to ignore that comment, and begin to trail one of your hands from his neck to his collarbone, then down his abdomen, which was unfortunately covered by his clothes.
"well, the mask is off. that's one thing down," you say, toying with the hem of his hoodie. "just a few more to go."
genji doesn't hesitate to reach down and tug off the hoodie, discarding it on the floor. he wasn't wearing a shirt underneath, and he also wasn't wearing his usual metal plating. his right arm and part of his right upper torso are still made of flesh, as well as most of his midsection. the left side of his body is cybernetic, but it ends just above his hips. you find yourself staring at the intricate and seamless fusion of metal and muscle, your attention focusing in on the sharp outline of his hip bones.
a question pops into your head, but you don't have the audacity to say it out loud– is his dick cybernetic? the thought had never occurred to you before, but you also had never seen just how much of him was still made of skin and bone. honestly, it didn't matter to you either way, but it was an interesting thought. guess i'll find out soon, you think.
genji is staring at you with a strange look on his face, and you're suddenly worried you may have said something out loud.
"something wrong?" he asks. "you look... confused."
"i do?" you ask, surprised. "i was just... curious. about the cybernetic stuff. i've never really seen it up close."
"i see."
you walk over to the bed and climb on top of it, beckoning genji over to you. he follows, but stands still beside you.
"come here," you say, reaching for his hand. "i want a closer look."
he smirks and nods, quickly climbing into the bed and positioning himself on his knees between your legs. you trace the outline of his abs, running your fingers along the border of skin and metal, taking in every detail, and then you realize that he's staring at you again.
"what?" you ask.
"you're overdressed," he says. "i want to look at you, too."
"oh," you pause, realizing that you were in fact still (mostly) fully clothed. "you can take the hoodie off."
genji's hands immediately move to pull at your top. you reposition yourself to make it easier, and you watch as he tosses it into the now-growing pile on the floor alongside his own jacket.
you can hear his breathing grow shallow, and you look back up at him nervously. he's staring down at you with wide, dark eyes, with his hands clenched into fists atop his thighs.
"damn," he breathes. "you're... really the most attractive person i've met."
it's not as though you had notably low self-esteem or anything, but genji's reaction was far more than you expected, and the attention makes you feel embarrassed.
"that definitely feels like flattery, but i'll let it slide," you reply. you're mostly teasing him, but you're also kind of serious– 'most attractive person i've met' is an extremely bold statement to make, especially coming from someone with a track record like genji's.
"flattery? you really think so?" genji asks, seeming to be genuinely taken aback by the accusation.
"mm, it doesn't really matter," you reply, desperate to cut this conversation off before it derails. come on, y/n do not get your feelings involved in this, damn it.
genji leans over you, propping himself up with one arm and lifting your chin with the other. he stares at you with an intimidating intensity, but you can't bring yourself look away from him.
"i'm not that kind of man anymore," he says, his tone serious. you look down at his lips, and before you can form a response, he kisses you.
the kiss is just as intense as the stare he'd been giving you, and it takes a moment for you to register that it's even happening. once you kiss him back, it grows into something more needy. his tongue finds its way into your mouth, and you try your hardest to suppress a whine. you reach to tangle your fingers in his hair and subtly pull his body closer to yours, while genji cups your face with his free hand, the cool metal a stark contrast to the heat radiating from your cheeks.
the kiss seems to go on forever, progressively becoming more sensual. you're so lost in the moment that you temporarily forget that you need to breathe. eventually, both of you pull away for air, lips slightly puffed, and eyes half-open, filled with desire.
you press one of your hands against genji's chest, the other still toying with his hair. he's slumped against you, now leaning against his elbow instead of his hand. your body is flush against his, and you can feel his hard-on pressing against you. you softly grind your hips against him, creating just enough friction to cause you both to inhale sharply.
genji looks down at you, his eyes slowly grazing over your body. he sits up, leaning back on his haunches, looking as though he was deep in thought.
"genji?"
your voice doesn't draw his attention back to your face, but he responds, brows still furrowed. "yeah?"
"touch me," you tell him, almost begging. "please."
he smirks. "sure."
he leans back over you, his face so close to yours that you can see every detail of the scars that paint his skin. the two of you stare into each others eyes, and he pushes your underwear aside without even glancing down. his human hand cups your face, and the metal one assumes its position between your legs.
the sensation of cool, smooth metal against your clit elicits a gasp from you, and genji seems hesitant. he draws his hand back, staring down at it with a forlorn expression.
"sorry," he says. "i... kind of forgot."
you reach for his wrist and pull his hand back to where it had been, shaking your head.
"no, it's fine. you don't need to apologize," you tell him. he still looks unsure, but he doesn't argue.
genji toys with your clit with expert precision, and as much as you enjoy it, your patience starts to wane. as if he can tell, he directs his attention elsewhere, carefully and almost hesitantly inserting two of his fingers into you. you whimper at the feeling, clenching around the unfamiliar texture. it's an entirely new feeling– putting metal there was never something you thought to do, nor did you ever really imagine what it would feel like– but it's good. it's obvious that genji is worried he'll hurt you, or that you won't like it, and you have what you hope will be an easy solution to his concerns.
you bite your lip, looking up at him with your best 'fuck me' eyes, and let go of the restraint you were trying to show. you didn't want to look desperate, but clearly he needed more reassurance that you wanted this– that you wanted him. a string of swear words, interrupted by panting and lewd noises, leaves your mouth, and you rut your hips against his hand, urging him to go deeper.
it seems to work. the dark look that was lingering on genji's face was replaced with a spark, and his movements become more free, no longer limited by the shackles of his insecurity. his well-earned confidence starts to shine through, and you smile in satisfaction, but only for a moment. with genji now seemingly returned to his former playboy glory, you find yourself unable to think straight, too busy writhing under his touch, crying out his name and clenching at the sheets.
"i could get used to hearing you say my name like that," genji comments, a teasing grin on his face.
oh god, please shut up, you think. it was almost as if he wanted you to fall in love with him or something, which was definitely not a part of your plan– in fact, it was the exact opposite of what you wanted.
"don't... say– fuck," you want to tell him not to say things like that, but you're overwhelmed with the feeling of your fast-approaching orgasm. what unfortunate timing. "gonna cum."
genji picks up the pace, unable to decide if he wants to look at your face or at his fingers as he pumps them in and out of you. you attempt to clench your thighs together, though genji's body blocks the action, and as you come undone, he decides the best thing for him to look at is your expression.
you squirm beneath genji, eyes squeezed shuts and knuckles turning white from the force with which you're grasping at your bedsheets. he watches carefully, taking in every minute detail of the way you look when you cum, while still fucking his fingers into you as you ride out the high of your orgasm. once you still, he slides his fingers out, the matte grey now slick and shiny. you open your eyes just in time to watch him pop his fingers in his mouth. he looks back at you through half-lidded eyes, a devious smirk on his face as he watches your already blown-out pupils widen at his actions. to add icing to the cake, he licks his lips, and suddenly you think 'wow, i'd let him do anything to me'.
"god," you mutter, shifting awkwardly. you were trying to rub your thighs together at the thoughts coursing through your mind, but genji was in the way.
you trail your eyes along his body, coming to a halt at the bulge in his joggers. you reach for the waistband of his pants, tugging them down to the middle of his thigh, but the position he was sitting in prevented you from getting them any further. genji climbs off of the mattress and yanks his pants and boxers off himself, then proceeds to do the same with your underwear. the intensity of the hunger between the two of you was so thick it was almost physical, and you can't pull your eyes away from him.
to your surprise, his dick was made of flesh. not that you had any complaints either way– it was just unexpected. you take a moment to admire him, then reach out to pull him back into the bed with you. genji resumes his position between your legs, lifting them up so that your knees are at your chest. the two of you both look down, watching in anticipation as he slides inside of you. he slowly pushes himself in farther, continuing until he bottoms out.
you both moan, almost in sync, at the sensation, and make eye contact again. genji positions his arms on either side of your head and touches his forehead to yours, staring into your eyes, as you dig your nails into his shoulder. one of your hands finds its way back to his hair, gently tugging at the spiky black tufts, keeping him as close to you as you could.
it doesn't take long for genji to find a good rhythm, his thrusts deep and and on the slower side. each movement coaxes noises out of you– his name, mostly, but a few mewls and downright pornographic-sounding moans as well. he kisses you again, lustful and passionate, and slides his hand into your hair to cradle your head. he pulls away, trailing kisses from your jawline to your collarbone, a few of which will surely leave some faint marks. you're not worried about that though– the only person who'd have the gall to comment on it was cassidy, anyways.
"you sound so pretty," he mumbles into your neck.
your breath catches in your throat at his words, and your grip on his hair tightens slightly. he sounded so so hot, it sent a shiver down your spine. "mm," is the only response you can manage.
one particular thrust hits perfectly, and you short-circuit, digging your nails deep into genji's shoulder and whimpering his name. he lifts his head to look you in the eye, his eyes honing in on your lips. his movement becomes more insistent, and he kisses you again, muffling your moans.
for the next few minutes, the only sounds in the room were that of your needy whines, genji's panting and occasional grunts, and the soft skin-on-skin contact. genji was surprisingly much more gentle than you'd anticipated, affection dripping from every action. it was enough to make you start to feel a bit of regret about the whole 'one time only' spiel, but you couldn't really focus on that when he was looking at you, and touching you, and fucking you the way he was.
with the stimulation of genji inside of you, and the way he was purring praise and sweet nothings into your ear in between the barrage of kisses, it didn't take long for you feel your climax coming up. from the way genji was beginning to become more shaky and haphazard in his movements, you could tell the same was true for him.
"genji," you whisper. "i'm gonna cum."
he hums in response, furrowing his brow. "me too."
a few seconds of silence pass, and then genji looks... lost. "uh, where should i...?"
"wherever you want," you say, not really thinking. 'inside' was the first thing that came to mind, but that felt weird to say. was it weird to ask your coworker cum inside you? yeah, probably, but it couldn't be any weirder than the fact that you were having such intimate, needy sex with your coworker in the first place, right?
genji slows down and looks at you with wide eyes. "what? no preference?"
"um, i mean," you cut yourself off, biting your lip to suppress a moan. "i was gonna say inside, but like... up to you."
"are you serious? you want me to..."
so it was weird, you think, instantly regretting that you spoke. "do whatever you want."
genji stops moving, and you let out a pitiful involuntary whine.
"i'm asking, what do you want?"
does he want me to spell it out for him? you wonder. fuck it.
"i... want you to cum in me, genji," you say, looking him in the eye with a serious expression. you ignore the fact that your cheeks are almost literally burning, and also opt to ignore the little voice in your head chastising you for being so awkward.
a choked noise escapes him, and his face turns pink. he promptly hides himself in the crook of your neck again. after a few more thrusts, you can feel the burning pleasure of your orgasm reaching its peak, prompting you to cling tightly to genji. he leans back to watch, and as you clench around him, he loses his composure as well. a soft chorus of each others' names and 'fuck' fills the room as genji fucks you through your orgasm, neither of you breaking eye contact. genji leans in for another kiss as he cums. this time is somehow even more passionate than the others, and you immediately miss him when he leans back and pulls out.
you almost let an 'i love you' slip out, but immediately realize how stupid that would be, and opt to just shut your mouth entirely instead. a silence falls over the room, with the both of you breathing heavily and casting shy glances at one another as if you didn't just have passionate, unprotected sex. genji moves first, sliding into the bed beside you and propping his head up on his hand.
this is definitely going beyond what this was supposed to be, you tell yourself, but really, you're not mad about it. sure, the plan was originally for you guys to have meaningless sex and then pretend it never happened, but that plan started to crumble almost as soon as he walked through your door. you were still worried that you were reading too far into it– maybe he was like this with everyone he slept with.
"can i... be honest with you?" he asks. you nervously look over at him, an overwhelming sense of dread filling your stomach.
"yeah, of course," you reply casually. acting calm and collected when you were pretty sure you were about to hear something you really didn't want to hear was a trait you'd quickly adapted as an overwatch agent, and damn, were you thankful for it right now.
"i... haven't been with anyone in a long time," he admits. "like... since the accident."
you stay quiet. you're unsure of what to say, and you can tell he's not done talking, anyway.
"i couldn't fathom anyone wanting to be with me, considering... you know," genji sighs and averts his eyes. "i've liked you for so long, but i didn't think you'd be interested in me at all. i'm... barely even human."
you're still quiet, trying your best to process what he's saying.
"oh, yeah, sorry. i know you said this was a one time thing, and that's fine. i just thought you should know that you treating me like a person... and making me feel wanted... it means a lot," he continues. "even if it was just sex, i enjoy being around you."
"i'm... really in over my head," you mutter, mostly to yourself. "this is really unexpected, honestly. like, all of it. everything."
genji's face falls, and you realize that you misspoke. he shifts uncomfortably and starts to sit up, obviously preparing to leave. you reach for his arm, wrapping your hand carefully around the metal.
"not unwelcome, just unexpected. i... didn't want to get feelings involved because i was sure they wouldn't be returned," you explain. "you seemed kind of unapproachable. i was taking a shot in the dark."
genji laughs a little. "i seem to give that impression. it's not really the case... or at least, not with you."
you gently pull him back to your side, holding his face in your hands and giving him a quick kiss. you can't find the words to convey the emotions you feel, so you hope that touch would suffice. he presses his forehead against yours and wraps an arm around your waist, and the two of you just lay there, basking in each others' presence. this was... an unplanned turn of events, but you were much happier with this outcome.
"hmm. so much for the whole 'no strings attached' thing, huh?" you say quietly. "looks like there's definitely strings. lots of them."
genji laughs again, and you find your heart skipping a beat at the look on his face. yeah, there were so many strings tethering this man to your heart. you wanted to tell yourself that weren't sure how exactly you ended up like this, but the moment you saw him take off his mask and show you his most well-kept secret, you knew there was much more than sexual attraction there, and that there was no going back.
"thank you," genji says, pulling you out of your trance. "for... overlooking my flaws, liking me as i am. you're truly the most beautiful person i know."
you smile at him, feeling your heart quite literally melt at the way he's looking at you.
"you're beautiful, genji," you tell him. and he was. the scars and metal that made up his body weren't flaws– they were a part of him, therefore they were beautiful, too. they weren't something you had to overlook to find him captivating, but you'd tell him all about that at another time.
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Trolls - Branch and Keith Brothers AU
HI!!! I'm back! With more Trolls plot bunnies. This one does not take place in the Prince Char Au, or the Veneer re-carnation one. It's completely separate and closer to canon.
Pre-movie.
Keith is the little trolling who likes to watch his parents sleep, and it's clear by the reactions from his classmates that he's not the most popular kid. A bit of a odd outsider, that finds happiness in things that others don't. There's another troll in Pop village who's a bit of an outsider, our favorite grump, Branch.
Branch would be in the village market one winter day, making some rare purchases rather then getting them from the wilds, when he first comes across Keith. The trolling would've been lost, left behind by his classmates. Branch would be a little confused by the kids blankness, but he isn't going to leave a kid lost in the snow, and helps Keith get back home to his dad. One the way he asks if this, keith getting left behind, happened often. Keith would blankly gripe about it, and how he thought his friends didn't actually like him, and he didn't think he liked them. Branch says that friends should like each other.
Couple of weeks later, Branch is working on gathering supplies, and Keith appears out of no where, then continues to follow the grey troll. When Branch asks what Keith is doing. Keith says, "You said befriend people I like." "Yeah so?" "I like you."
It throws Branch off, no one liked him.
Keith would continue to find and follow Branch for the next few days, it's only after a chance run in with a predator, that the grey troll realizes this kid isn't going away, and he starts training Keith in the ways of survival. Even more shockingly Keith listens to him when he's teaching. Everyone in the village always called Branch crazy with his survival bunker and apocalypse prep, but Keith listens intently. Even if it doesn't appear like it. Branch teaches Keith about, the forest, which fruits were safe to eat and where/when they grew. How to defend yourself from different type dangerous predators. And even about some of the extra traps and defenses Branch made for the village.
Branch gets used to his new little protégée, and honestly likes being able to pass on his knowledge to someone. He eventually learns to read the subtle differences in Keith's expressionless expressions to know how the kid's mood is, whether it's happy or upset. One day, Keith comes to visit Branch upset. Seeing the kid angry makes something in Branch's stomach turn, and he has this need to fix it. He doesn't know how, he hasn't comforted someone in years. So, pulling from vague memories of Floyd helping him when Branch was upset, he asks Keith what's wrong. Keith's upset about the other kids calling his school project weird. They were supposed to make a short presentation on people, they care about and Keith chose Branch. None of the kids would listen to him and said, that Branch was weirdo, and Keith was weirdo and they deserved each other. It made Keith Mad, because, he doesn't think Branch is weird, he thinks the Grey troll is cool and he doesn't want people to be mean to him. Branch does his best to console, Keith saying that sometimes people just don't agree with you no matter how hard you try to convince them, sometimes people just can't hear you.
K: Some times it feels like no one hears me
B: Yeah, I get that. it sucks, Makes you think their something wrong with you. But there isn't. Different doesn't mean bad, it just means you see things other don't.
Keith hugs Branch, and he can't turn the kid away. It's the first person the grey troll hugs in nearly twenty years.
K: Thank you, Branch
B: No problem kid, I'm always here.
K: I've always wanted a brother.
After this, Branch fully is attached. He goes all out for Keith any chance he gets. He's always there if Keith is upset, or to help with home work. Keith is one of the few people Branch allows in the Bunker. Branch makes sure, that he'd be the brother to Keith that his own were never to him. Always there.
Especially when Keith suddenly loses his dad. Branch fights and fights hard to keep Keith, knowing just how much the grief of losing a caretaker is crushing the kid. Unsurprisingly, the Pop trolls foster system fails Keith and eventually Branch gains his custody. "Let the outsider raise an outsider." Keith moves into the bunker, and Branch is with the trolling no matter what, making sure that this kid never goes Grey like he did. Though, waking up to Keith just staring at him is a little startling at first, but branch gets over it, anything to make the kid more comfortable.
By the events of the first movie, Keith has fully moved in with Branch and stays with him during the Chef's attack. And after the whole village is hidden in the bunker by Poppy, Keith pushes Branch to go after her. Peppy stepping up to watch over Keith while Branch is gone. All through out the mission Branch is thinking about Keith, worried how he's fair one his own, because while he can trust Peppy to make sure Keith doesn't die, he doesn't' trust the king to take care of Keith's mental health. They're reunion in the bergan pot is a hard one. On one hand, Branch is happy to have Keith back in sight, but on the other he feels like a failure for not being able to protect Keith from getting eaten. And When Keith goes grey in his arms...let's just say Branch isn't going down with out a fight.
I have no plans for World Tour, other then the possibility of Keith ending up captured with Poppy, and Barb mistaking Keith as her and Branch's son.
Its in Band together that things get a little more interesting...
Keith is Gristle and Bridget's ring bearer, though the rings are to big for him to hold, so he just stands inside of them to keep them from rolling away, with a very flat smile. Poppy and Branch end up dating in this two, and she does put in effort to get to know Keith, understanding that the trolling would be in branch's care for years to come. She's not as good at reading him, but she's getting better at it. And she finds Branch's caregiver side, adorable.
"Stop the Wedding!"
When John Dory shows up, Keith leaves his post, and runs to Branch after the elder troll was finished being man handled, bY JD. John is thrown off by the sight of a tiny Trolling in Branch's Arms. Seriously, when did his baby brother get a baby? Or a girlfriend? Was the kid theirs? Oh crap he missed a lot....
Keith is angry, through out the course of the third movie. Branch had already told him about their (yes, their, Keith is branch's brother now, which sadly makes him also related to these idiots) brothers, and how they all walked out on him. Keith has seen how much this hurt Branch, and how much they are hurting Branch now, he's clinging to his older brother all through out the mission.
Bruce is also shocked, and kind of feels bad, because Keith would be in Branch's hair when Bruce tossed him jostling the trolling. But he likes kids, so quickly warms up to the idea of Keith being a new baby brother. Even if he creeps Bruce out. And Keith is constantly creeping him out on purpose...thought Bruce doesn't realize it.
Keith doesn't like the hustle button.
Clay is scared of Keith. Because thanks to living with Branch the trolling can point out all of his safety measures and traps, understand how the work, and how to out smart them.
While practicing, John tries to get Keith toe join in but the trolling will only sing the words in the same flat stale note. Branch knows he's messing with john (Keith naturally sings flat but he's not that tone deaf) but doesn't say anything. Keith is hugging Branch all through out the fight, and along with poppy promises to not leave.
Floyd's too tired to really notice Keith until after he's rescued, however he's curious about the trolling. He feels proud watching Branch take care of trolling, but it also makes his stomach churn. Watching Branch with Poppy and Keith it feels like he's looking in on a family that Branch built and he missed it. Floyd would move into the bunker continuing his recovery, and during that is where he really interacting with Keith. He finds the kid adorable, not in the sparkly eyes way that Branch was but utterly adorable none the less. Keith becomes family to him too.
The fic would conclude with All the brother's accepting the fact that Branch and Keith are a package deal, and apologizing to branch for abandoning him (Keith and Poppy don't let them get away with shit). There's no long five brothers in Brozone, but six....and at least three sister-in-law...
-----
This now has a fic of the beginning
link - https://archiveofourown.org/works/55380961/chapters/140510860
#dreamworks trolls#trolls branch#trolls keith#trolls au#canon divergent au#branch x poppy#trolls floyd#fic planning#brozone#trolls dreamworks#trolls movie#trolls#trolls john dory#broppy#trolls bruce#trolls clay#let these two weirdos be freinds#Keith needs more love#fanfic#fanfic planning#trolls 3#trolls band together#trolls world tour#trolls 1#trolls 2#Keith and Branch Brother Au#trolls brozone#Field of Forgetmenots au
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Project Valentine
Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader
*ੈ✩‧₊˚warnings: no use of y/n, swearing, feels a little rushed
*ੈ✩‧₊˚word count: 1.1k
*ੈ✩‧₊˚summary: You're lonely and Logan wants to be a good friend
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"I'm tired of being lonely every year for Valentine's Day," you groan into one of the heart-shaped throw pillows on your couch. You hated Valentine's Day– absolutely despised it. You always sat alone, watching the intoxicatingly cute couples on dates. This would be the fourth year in which you would have no date for Valentine's Day, and if it were up to you, it would be your last (you would destroy the holiday, obviously). It wasn't a choice you had willingly made, but no matter how hard you tried, you always managed to be single during Valentine's Day.
Logan laughed at your distress, finding your overreaction to being single hilarious, "I'll help you find a date if that will make you happy."
"Oh fuck off, stop laughing at me," you threw the throw pillow at him, laughing as it smacked him in the face.
"Rude, and I'm not laughing at you. I'm being very serious right now."
"You'd help me find a date?" you asked, sitting up and turning to face him, waiting and expecting him to burst out laughing. Sure, Logan was a great friend, but he never turned down the opportunity to tease or make fun of you. You had expected him to poke fun at the fact that you had once again managed to find yourself without a partner to spend the day with.
He nodded silently, seemingly lost in his own thoughts, head slightly tilted to the side. His smile widens the more he stares at you, "So, what do you say, can I start Project Valentine?"
You can't help but wonder how he could possibly help when you've struggled for so long. The uncertainty of whether or not this could negatively impact the structure of your friendship. You often spoke about your romantic relationships with Logan but never went into depth about why they all seemed to fail. You suppose it was fear, fear of commitment, or fear of getting too attached to then be abandoned. That fear also held you back in your friendship, which brings you back to that uncertainty you felt– everything was connected.
"Stop staring at me like that; do you want my help or not?"
"I do, but– yeah, I want your help."
"Good, now tell me what your type is," he says, standing from his spot across from you to sit beside you on the loveseat.
"I don't know. I guess I just want a nice guy."
"A nice guy? Are your standards truly that low? I always thought you would have higher standards."
"They are not low." They truly weren't low, in your opinion. Of course, they were more complex than just a "nice" guy, but you didn't want to seem picky in front of Logan. It was a running joke that you couldn't hold boyfriends because of your high standards and maintenance.
"Yes, they are," he teased, jokingly shoving you.
"Are not."
"Are too," he reached over– tickling you, and you desperately attempted to push him away, laughing loudly at his actions.
"Stop it," you say, continuing to laugh– holding onto his shoulders as he finally stills. He looks into your eyes, deep in thought, making you wish you knew what went through his mind. He always seemed to be thinking about something, especially when he's around you– it's something you've noticed as your friendship grew. "What's going through that brain of yours?" you ask, running your hands through his hair.
"I don't think I can help you..." he whispers, resting his head on your chest.
"I knew this was some sort of joke for you," you shoved him off of your chest, sitting up.
"This isn't a joke."
"No? Then what is it? Because right now, it feels like you're going to say some bullshit about me never being content in my relationships. And honestly, Logan, I'm not in the mood for this shit. I genuinely wanted your help and was trusting you with this," you angrily rambled, refusing to look at him. It felt as if your blood was boiling; you felt like those cartoon characters with the steam coming out of their ears. You could see his lips moving as he worked up some, in your humble opinion, lame excuse– but the ringing in your ears impeded you from hearing.
"I love you, okay," Logan said as the ringing in your ears subsided. You froze, staring blankly at him– this had escalated quickly, too quickly. The ringing returned as your heart began to beat a million miles an hour.
Logan frowned as the silence in the room grew; he sighed looking up at the ceiling and resting his head against the backrest of the love seat. "I'm sorry– please say something; I don't want to ruin our friendship. And I know I'm stupid... god, this was so fucking stupid. I'm sorry, okay?"
You continued to stare at him, shock evident on your face. It felt impossible to speak, though you had so much to say. From the moment you heard those words, you felt thousands of repressed memories flood your mind. Memories in which you felt things you had thought were inappropriate to feel between friends. Memories that at this moment you wished to share with him.
He quickly turned to face you again, "Actually, I'm not sorry. I'm tired of pretending that I don't feel this way– tired of hiding my love for you."
You felt as if your body had been possessed by someone else as you grabbed his face and smashed your lips against his. It was a desperate kiss, something you had both been waiting for– rushed and messy. He gently pushed you down, resting you against the couch as he deepened the kiss. You felt your head spin as his hands tangled against your hair, somehow pulling you closer than you already were. "I love you too," you pulled away for a moment– wanting him to know that you reciprocate his feelings.
"I thought so," he pulled you back into a kiss, seemingly not wanting the moment to end as he slid his hands down to rest on your hips. "I think Project Valentine was a success," he whispered, planting a few kisses on your neck, and smiling down at you.
You had hated Valentine's Day– absolutely despised it. But as you lay there with Logan, tangled in each other, you couldn't help but love it. You loved everything about it, the cultural meaning of it, and even the intoxicatingly cute couples. You wanted to experience everything about the day you had hated just this morning. You couldn't wait to spend next Valentine's Day with him– and all the Valentine's Days after that.
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#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#logan sargeant x reader#logan sargeant fluff#logan sargeant imagine#logan sargeant x you#logan sargeant x fem!reader#f1 x female reader
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hi! can I please request a fluff piece of Mike giving the reader a mixtape of songs he likes and thinks about them as a cute thoughtful gift? established relationship would be great :) thanks for writing, love reading your work!
thank you so much :D i feel like this is short but I hope you enjoy! (ps i curated a playlist for mike that i’ll list at the end of the fic! the songs are from the 70s, 80s and 90s based on his dad’s music taste but also the era he grew up in!!)
includes - switching between between memories and the present, mentions of verbal harassment. lowk kinda angsty but you’ll see why
————
“mike, just give it!” you groan. he sits next to you, fidgeting with the present in his hand. he twists the coils of the ribbon between his fingers.
“what if you don’t like it?” he asks. you give him a look. “i love it when you get me taco bell. of course i’ll love this. now give it to me, otherwise my assumption of you stalling because you forgot our anniversary will be become a fact.”
his eyes widen and he shakes his head furiously. “i would never forget an anniversary.”
you smile and pat his knee. “i know, which is also why i know this gift is going to be awesome!”
he sighs and slowly hands it to you. “happy one year.”
you smile in excitement, tearing the blue wrapping paper off. you gasp as you see a CD with a picture of you as the cover titled ‘how i feel about you.”
“oh, my god. mike.” you turn to him, pouncing on him and giving him a big hug. he wraps his arms around you, pulling you in. you can feel his heartbeat raging against his ribcage. you can feel how warm he is from anxiety.
“do you like it?” mike asks as you pull away. “i love it!” you grin from ear-to-ear. “no guy has ever done this for me. this… this must’ve taken a lot of work.”
he shrugs, “i’ve been thinking of these songs for a while. it was just a matter of burning them onto the CD.”
you sigh dreamily, attaching your lips to his in a slow and sweet kiss. “this is why you’re the guy of my dreams.”
he blushes heavily. “are you gonna see what’s on it? there’s a little list inside.”
you nod and open it, carefully taking the paper out. the first song on the list is “black star” by radiohead.
“that song is the song that was playing when i met you at the bar,” mike says.
you start to remember, your smile getting impossibly wider. you were a bartender around the time you met mike. it was a little bit past dinner time and mike had shown up with a woman, who you now know as vanessa. apparently, she was trying to get mike to flirt — or at least get himself out there. she had pointed out many women in the bar, but you caught his eye.
“can i get you two something to drink?” you asked. “i’ll have a martini,” vanessa said. she glanced at mike, awaiting his answer.
“uh, i’ll just take a beer,” mike said. honestly, you thought he had a staring problem at first. but turns out, he was just falling deeply in love with you.
“i can’t believe you remember that,” you awe. “of course i did. i love radiohead and you. it’s like the perfect combination,” he says.
“i’m not sure i like being associated with radiohead,” you giggle. you take a look at the other songs. one that sticks out to you is “baby can i hold you” by tracy chapman. you remember this song as the song you and mike danced to at your friend’s wedding, the one where he told you he loved you.
“may i have this dance?” mike stood up and held his hand out to you. you were taken aback. this was surely out of mike’s comfort zone. you’d been dating for six months then and you knew mike pretty well. you had just celebrated your six month anniversary where mike took you to this big fancy restaurant. you had insisted you didn’t need go to anyplace, but he also insisted that you deserved something special and he wanted to provide it to you. the whole time at the restaurant you knew he thought he was out of place and not good enough for it. so for him have asked you to dance was a surprise — good one, though.
“yes, you may, kind sir,” you smiled. you slipped your hand into his and he led you to the dance school. he put both hands on your waist while you wrapped your arms around his neck.
“you look beautiful tonight,” he said, gazing into your eyes. you smiled shyly. you were pretty outspoken, witty, charming, but also sometimes crude, person. but mike brought out a side of you that other people, and even you, experienced rarely. he made you feel bashful and special. you honestly loved it.
“you look handsome,” you said. “you make me look good,” he remarked. you rolled your eyes. “oh, whatever. i’ve seen two girls practically drool over you since we got here.”
he shrugged, “and every male here wants to take you home.” “well, i only want one man to take me home,” you smiled coyly.
mike smiled with you. you both swayed to the song as it ended. you were excited when the next song started to play.
“ugh, i love tracy chapman,” you gushed. “i love you,” mike said, not really thinking. you stoped dancing, jaw dropping at his words. it finally registered in his brain.
“i-i’m sorry. i didn’t mean that. well, i did. but, i don’t have to. or, i guess you don’t have to say it back. you definitely don’t,” he rambled.
you stopped him with a kiss, smiling as you pull away. “i love you, too, mike.”
“i am so glad abby was gone that night,” you snicker. mike chuckles, “i’m sure we could’ve asked your friend if we could use her hotel room for a little bit.”
“and get it all messy before they mess it up? that would’ve been a good idea,” you say. you skim the list once more, surprised to see “songbird” by fleetwood mac.
“isn’t this the song we drove home to after we fought?” you ask. “yep,” mike nods.
that night, you and mike had your first bad fight. it wasn’t your very first one, but it was the worst by far.
mike was picking you up from work and when he walked in, he saw a guy harassing you at the bar. you were obviously handling it: ignoring the guy and having your co-workers stand up for you. but something in mike just snapped. you two were a pretty new couple. you’d only been going out for two months at that point. while you had already stayed countless nights at his place, were practically bffs with abby, and shared your deepest darkest secrets, there were other aspects of the relationship that you two were still navigating. so it didn’t help that when mike heard the guy call you a bitch, he punched the guy.
in the moment, you thought it was a justified act. in fact, you still thought so. but you were mad that mike didn’t let you handle it. you were mad that mike seemed to always lose his temper. you were mad that mike didn’t see you as independent.
you both were outside in the parking when the fight started.
“you need to go to an anger management class or something,” you muttered.
“that guy needs to go to how-to-not-be-a-creepy-asshole class,” mike said.
you sighed loudly and crossed your arms. mike scoffed and glanced at you. “do you not agree with me?”
“of course i do, mike! but you can’t just walk into my place of work and assault someone.”
“he was harassing you and probably was going to hurt you!”
“no, he wasn’t.”
“and how do you know that?”
“because niki had just called security and there were other customers in the bar helping me out.”
mike huffed, “i didn’t know she had called security.”
“if you had just minded your own business then you would have.”
mike balled his hands into a fist and then relaxed them. “you don’t need to act so tough, you know?”
you turned your head slowly at him. “excuse me?”
“i know you’re independent and you take care of yourself. i like that about you a lot. it’s one of my favorite qualities about you. but you have to learn how to accept help from other people, especially in situations like that. you have no idea how those situations can just flip within seconds.”
“that’s really rich coming from you.”
“what the hell does that mean?”
“you never accept help.”
“yes, i do.”
“no, no you don’t. you don’t accept help from the baggers at the grocery store. you don’t accept help from abby or me when cleaning or cooking. you didn’t even accept help when my friend’s husband offered to fix your sink, you said no. and he was offering it to you for free, might i add.”
“i can do all those things myself.”
“i know you can, but it’s also okay to have an extra set of hands.”
“if i’m so bad at accepting help, why can’t you accept my help?”
“you think breaking someone’s nose is helping me?” you scoffed. “you are such an idiot mike.” you grabbed the car keys out of his hand, unlocking the car and sliding into the passengers seat. mike groaned and sighed, joining you for what he thought was going to be the worst car ride of his life. the drive was expected to be pretty short, but with just your luck, traffic was terrible. while it was only 9 pm, there was an accident on the highway, making both sitting ducks.
mike sighed and glanced at you. you had a permanent glare on your face it seemed. your arms were still crossed and you looked out the window to avoid any and all eye contact with him.
guilt seeped into him. he knew what he did was wrong. well, he still didn’t think he was wrong, he just knew it wasn’t the right choice. he should have asked the guy to leave and to just take you home. he should have waited for security to grab him, to make sure the guy wouldn’t follow you home. all he wanted it to protect you. he did the same with abby. maybe not in a violent way, but he thought he was his life mission to protect the ones he loved. he wanted to do better than with you two than he did with garrett.
and you knew that. you knew all about garret and freddy’s. the animatronic business seemed crazy to you and you didn’t quite understand that part, but you tried to be as supportive, understanding, and sympathetic as you could as you’ve never experienced what he has. you just wish it didn’t get the best of him sometime.
mike turned on the radio. you scoffed, not believing that he’s turned on music. he turned on a classic hits radio. “keeping on loving you” by reo speedwagon was about to end, “songbird” trailing right after it.
“this is a good song,” mike remarked. you hummed in reply with something that sounded like a “yes”. mike stayed silent for a couple of seconds. he knew if you were to talk again, he would have to apologize first.
“i’m sorry i got out of control. i was just trying to protect you. that guy was being an asshole and you’ve hurt you. i guess i just wanted to hurt him before he could get to you,” he said. “but i know it’s not right and i know you have support at the bar. i just get scared with you working there with all those weirdos. i know you’re a grown adult adult, though, and you can handle yourself.”
you slowly turned to him, eyes softening upon seeing him. “it’s…” you sighed quietly, straightening up in your seat to face him completely. “it’s okay, mike. i know you were trying to protect me. i really appreciate it, i do. i love when you’re there for me. i just… he could’ve hurt you, too. and you could’ve gone to jail, too, if he decided to press charges. honestly, i just don’t want to be the reason that happens.”
mike shook his head. “you could never be. i would’ve happily gone to jail if it meant i helped you and made sure you were safe.”
you grinned teasingly. “you would happily go to jail?” he smiled with you. “anything for you.”
you laughed and shook your head, placing a hand on his thigh. “i forgive you. and i’m sorry about all the things i said about you not accepting help.”
“it’s true. i’m sorry about everything i said and did.”
“it’s alright,” you said. traffic began to move just then. both of you pumped your fists in the air and cheered. “god, finally!” you exclaimed.
“your place or mine?” mike asked. “what do you think?” you smiled.
“this is a great song, but why’d you choose it? it has to bring up some bad memories, right?” you ask.
“it did at first,” mike admits. “but, we made up. and we were able to settle arguments faster and better after that. also, the song lyrics are just how i feel about you. ‘to you, i’ll give the world. to you, i’ll never be cold. cause i feel that when i’m with you, it’s alright. i know it’s right’,” he cites.
you feel like your heart will explode from love. you hug him once more, holding him too you so tight he’s afraid he won’t be able to breathe. but he doesn’t mind. you pull away slightly, looking into his eyes.
“i love you so much, mike. you are hands down the best person that’s ever walked into my life.”
he smiles and leans in and kisses you softly. he pulls away to catch his breath, taking your free hand into his. “i love you more.”
mike’s mixtape for you
black star - radiohead
girl from mars - ash
sunday morning - maroon 5
your song - elton john
baby can I hold you - tracy chapman
something - the beatles
faithfully - journey
songbird - fleetwood mac
iris - goo goo dolls
everlong - foo fighters
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Welcome to Part One of my head cannons for my OTP:
Nejiten Head cannons; Part two , Part 3
Tenten Head Cannons | Neji Head Cannons | Nejiten Family Head cannons
I have a few head cannons for these two that I wanna throw out there; Writing these two for like 10 years has made me realized that no matter what situation they are in (if writing in character) they are the idealistic couple. Sure, they argue and fumble the bag sometimes, but their dynamic is FIERCE. You cannot tell me that his most trusted friend, partner, and balanced scale IS NOT IDEAL? These are my head cannons that I base my stories on while writing them in character (which took a long time to do honestly, writing in character with characters who are not fully developed is hard as fuck. But you take whatever crumbs you get.)
Plus, I would’ve changed a bunch of things in this anime but that’s besides the point
😤
Follow me on my delulu because it’s the only solulu:
1. Neji started liking Tenten prior to the second round fights of the chunnin exams. It started as admiring her skills, but grew to an emotional level as time went on. He asked her specifically to train with him because he felt that she was able to keep up and offer him a challenge in a realm he was not skilled in; weapon handling and evasion. This is going off of the fact that in one of the video games, Tenten had beat both Neji and Lee in evasion training, which in my mind, means that Neji saw Tenten for her skills and held her in very high regard even if she got clapped by Temari (which he didn’t fault her for! It was a bad match up). While they trained, Tenten would push conversation with him to the point where they started talking about their personal lives and led to Tenten finding out about the curse mark, his father, and his blind spot. Tenten had shared her deep insecurities about never being able to match up to them, or to be good enough to be like Lady Tsunade (especially after she fumbled the medical ninja training). To that, Neji ensured her that she was a great match up to himself and Lee; which is why he asked her to help train him in the first place. Since then, Neji has made it his priority to ensure that Tenten did not fall into a deep depression and would always praise her with the “you are good enough as you are.” He would shower her with subtle affection by buying her sweets when she was in a bad mood and spending some of his days off with her. In fact, it wasn’t until Gai-sensei had pointed out that Neji was attached to her, and was doting on her to make sure she kept a smile on her face. Neji would roll his eyes (as most 13-14 whatever’s they were) but kept at it well into their late teens.
2. Tenten is oblivious as fuck to Neji’s affection. I used this a lot in my Sleepless Nights fic, and sprinkled it in for some oneshots as well as hinted at it in Frequency. Tenten is an over thinker and can get inside her own head very easily. She thinks Neji is just being a good friend; arguably, she considers him a best friend since they are with each other all the time. She’s been so focused on her work that she never even considered the possibility that Neji liked her in anything past a friend. To be fair, Neji doesn’t seem like the type to make it obvious when he likes someone. And we’re about to get into that…
3. Neji is awkward as hell when it comes to anything emotion related but his love languages are Acts of Service and Gift Giving. Neji is alright with quality time, but he is a protector before anything else. I see Neji more as a “how can I help?” Or “Let me know if you need me.” He probably also gets snapped at by Tenten when he instinctively helps her and does things for her without asking if she needs help. She very much “I can do it myself” type of girl. Like I said before, he dotes on Tenten by buying her sweets and things she likes, I wouldn’t be surprised if he followed her around different weapons shops while they were on missions and helping her add to her enormous weapons collection. We also saw the acts of service come out of him when he shadowed Hinata (which was really sweet honestly. It showed his softer side and he maybe felt a bit guilty for treating her like garbage after his father died and was trying to make it up to her).
4. Tenten started realizing her feelings when they retook the chunnin exams. C’mon we all saw the look on home girl’s face when Fuu grabbed Neji’s hand and asked him to be her friend. It screamed LET GO OF MY MAN. Tenten hasn’t seen or experienced Neji interacting with other girls besides herself and Hinata (excluding Sakura and Ino who they were all friends with, but only interacted with on occasion). She didn’t like the idea of Neji getting attention from other girls.
5. Both are the jealous type. I know, I didn’t think Neji would be either, but it makes sense to me; Why would she be with anyone else other than him? Was he not her best friend? Who they shared all their deep dark feelings and secrets with? How dare someone else look at her partner in such a way? How dare they talk to her like that in front of him! For Tenten I don’t see it running extremely deep, but maybe a touch of it like stated above.
6. Lee was in on it. He absolutely knew. There’s no way Lee is so oblivious to his rival’s feelings. Especially since Gai has VERY loose lips. I wouldn’t be surprised it Lee was there when Gai had pointed out Neji’s affections for Tenten when they were gennin. Lee wanted them to be together and wanted to see them happy; Neji found comfort in knowing Tenten was alright. Tenten found comfort in Neji by trusting him with her feelings and not being harshly judged for it. I can see Lee purposefully hanging back and watching the two of them spar.
7. Neji only genuinely smiles around Tenten. Sure, he would offer a small smile of a smirk most of the time. But, around her he can actually pull his guard down and feel happy. He does offer small smiles and half smiles around Hinata and Naruto, however those big cheesing moments are usually kept in the presence of his bunheadded teammate.
8. Neji struggles to keep his feelings towards Tenten in check. He feels as though he doesn’t want to ruin their deeply rooted friendship and tends to keep a straight face when they are with a group. Tenten-again being oblivious- thinks he is just being an egotistical jerk around everyone when he’s not really like that when they are alone. He keeps some physical distance towards her as well unless they are fighting together, to prevent any mistakes and obvious signs of his affections. Perhaps he’s not into PDA either.
9. They argue. A lot. But it never ends in them feeling unheard or disrespected; these two have strong personalities and are very opinionated anyway.
10. Neji confided in Hinata about his feelings on Tenten, and Hinata promised to keep it a secret. (more on that in part 2 of my headcannons)
11. Neji tries to encourage Tenten to use her Taijutsu skills for close combat more. There’s a post circulating right now about how Tenten’s close combat abilities surpassed everyone but her team’s. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tenten felt discouraged by the fact that both boys on her team were already close range fighters and struggled with her gifts of long range fighting; she overthinks and puts herself into a box. Neji probably has attempted to strictly train with her (think Shippuuden…17-18 years old?) on her taijustu so she could gain some confidence. In fact, he has brought up to her that she would have beat Temari years ago if she would’ve show cases her taijustu abilities.
12. Their fighting style is more like a dance in flow. Tenten is very flexible and since her and Neji have been training since they were gennin, it would only make sense that they are so insynch with each other it almost look graceful.
I have more but imma stop there lol. I have ideas on how they first kissed, slept with each other all that stuff; how he would’ve proposed; It’ll be a very long post especially if I get into the whole “if Neji survived the war” which I do have a fanfiction on right now 👀 look at my pinned post for the link.
Thank you for joining me in my delulu 🫡 Here's part two, and Part three
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Not just a flower child huh ? ( Logan Howlett x reader ) part 6
summary : After the discovery her parents are alive and constantly trying to get her brother bring her to them logan figure it time she got out of the mansion to explore more than the ground of the school while he thinks of feelings that been growing like the flowers she grew
warnings : none weirdly enough , logans a big softly in this and scotts bike is " borrowed " but i think the series needed a fluffy part for once. grammatical errors also not proofread .
previous part
Her parent alive and kicking to make it worst they were closer than she originally thought which was dead . Her brother always spoke of them in a past tense and well in away they were dead to him and to an extent to her as well but she had question , she yearned for answers that they only had . From little information she could extract from her brother which honestly was getting blood from a stone on the subject but what she did learn was they were well off living in a nice area where all the other rich people living it lavishly which was probably from the money they gotten . the price of her childhood gave them she was always curious to see the price tag that was attached to her suffering.
“ why won’t you bring me” she asked seemed like she was a broken record the same words on repeat since she found out and seem her brother were on the same record.
“ because nothing good will come from it “ piotr sighed . “ you are not ready malyshka” he tried being gentle , tried to get her to understand where he was coming from .
“ don’t call me that i’m not baby , i should decide if i’m ready it my answers not yours “ she huffed .
“ you don’t think i want answer why i had to think i failed you , i couldn’t protect you i want answers but we are not ready little one” he patted her head only for her to glare.
“ i am ready it’s not like they could hurt me more” she rolled her eyes .
“ they are colder than before “ he pointed it out.
“ i can set them on fire warm their hearts” she shrugged.
“ i am protecting you by not bring you there not them , i didn’t before but now i am whether you like it or not “ that hurt and finality in his voice that stop her pushing further it made her storm off with one word coming out of her mouth .
“ suka” .
Logan in all his years which was a lot of living , he’d never been this way it was a strong sense that ran throughout his body warming the cold metal of his skeleton if it was possible. Intrigued by the woman who was so fierce , so strong and yet so soft and vulnerable . it was scary and amazing all in once not that he would admit that outloud .
Even now she was storming around probably giving out about her brother but he couldn’t tell seeing when she got like that well it wasn’t in english she spoke .
“You know she gonna catch on to you gawking at her” scott voice startling him from the train of thought or more so infatuation he found himself stuck in .
“ not gawking , checking to see if she ok don’t need a jungle of vines on the ground there” he shrugged .
“ so that isn’t drool on your cheek or are you actually more animal then man” .
“Fuck off and what did i tell you about sneaking up on me” he growled .
“ nothing because i never have , too busy with the heart eyes it cute really” scott smiled only for jean to slap him only for logan well to head exactly where they knew he would.
“ least now he’ll finally stop looking at you like that” it was almost relief in the mans tone as he spoke .
“ no he never looked at me like that” jeans head shook as she watched the man she well had a complicated relationship with a start looking at someone with something more. Whatever thought he felt for jean he was actually feeling for y/n , jean just hoped he would accept it and see he was worthy of something more in his life then all this.
“ whats got you storming holes through the grass , you know hot wheels takes pride in his garden “ he called making her pacing halt.
“ well if he and my brother would just help me out and took bride in letting me see my parents well” she growled .
“ it’s pride with a p … look maybe it for the best parents are overrated” .
“ americans always think that” she rolled her eyes.
“ well i’m canadian “ he chuckled confusing her more.
“ it’s not like i’m looking for a happy family , i .. i just want answers like what makes a person wake up one morning think oh lets sell the child and live happy in america” she looked down at the ground.
“ easy their assholes , selfish assholes and they call mutants monsters yet people discard or sell their offspring like it’s nothing” .
“ well i wasn’t nothing i came with price tag “ she flopped on the ground it was everything and nothing all in once .
“ look sweetheart people like that only care for themselves not the people around them even if it is their own kids , you are worth more than anything they could of gotten “ he sat beside her not caring at the looks he was getting in the distance because he was slowly getting use to them seemed to happen a lot since she came to the mansion .
“ you are good guy but i’m not giving up on this “ she watched the sky above it wasn’t as beautiful as the night scare but it was beautiful in it own way .
“ i’m not a good guy . good guys get taken home to mom and pop and well men like me are flirted with “ he laughed dryly remembering it as clearly when those words where spoken to him .
“ if mine didn’t sell me i would totally introduce you to them “ she laughed . “ you are good man even though you pretend your not “ she smiled up at him .
“ you must be getting cabin fever how about we take a trip” he stood up abruptly .
“ are we allowed to do that?” she asked almost hushed like whisper.
“ it not a prison bub and i’m not bringing you to your parents but maybe getting out of here will help” he held his hand out watching and waiting , hoping she would take it.
“ lets go “ she smiled as he pulled her up .
Almost cat like as the two walked into the garage she seen the jet for first time since well she was unconscious when they found her. She never been in this part before which was weird but yet she stood in awe at all the vehicles . the only one she been in other than the jet was a windowless van with a hood on her head, she could hear the world pass bye but she never got to see it hell since coming to this place she almost forgot there was a world. The two stopped and her eyes looked down to see a motorcycle sitting then up to see logan coming at her with a contraption in his hand.
“ i don’t like hoods” she stood back .
“ its not a hood look you can see out here , you don’t have a metal dome like your brother so you need to wear it , trust me” he explained as she stood as he lowered it over her head it wasn’t heavy like she thought it would be and she could actually see out of the little slot like he said. In all that her heart was beating so fast she felt like it was going to come out of her chest. He’d never been so close , so much so she could see the extent of the hazel color of his eyes or the scruff that was starting to grow on his face.
“ you sit here and hold on , ok like good now no need to be scared “ he smirked as he felt her presence on his back and his claw coming to the ignition bring the bike to life . “ here hands here” he smiled pulling them to his waist kicking the stand and heading off. He felt her grip tighten as her fingers bunch up on his shirt.
“ this isn’t you bike is it?” she asked as they were driving out the school gates .
“ more shared custody “ he laughed.
“ has anyone seen y/n we had another argument” piotr asked .
“ anyone seen my bike” scott asked almost a second later causing jean and ororo to share knowing smile knowing exactly that both were with the same man .
“Both are safe with logan “ charles spoke up.
“ it might do her good to get out see there is more than just the school take her mind off it all she is here with just the thoughts of it all a distraction is what she needs” charles looked between the men .
“ what about my bike “ scott whined.
“ also safe probably more safer with y/n on it” storm smirked .
“ he needs To atleast use the keys before he breaks it” scott Hid the small smile on his face.
The world was beautiful , it was almost magical all the greenery she passed by the wind on her skin as she took it all it , soaked It up Like a sponge Then the transition To the city it was almost like something out of a movie or pages in a book . The different contrast From greenery to the tall building almost Like they were in the clouds .
All different colors and shapes , so many People walking going about their day . All the different scents hit Her nose some amazing , some Ok and some She wished never graced her nostrils . Then it was obvious to the man that was currently in front of her , the feeling of his shirt at Tips of her fingers , the scent she Slowly got excited to smell each night while she sat or was walking to the kitchen. She didn't realize Lost in the feeling of Well everything , her hands gliding Along logans tshirt , comforting Motions Yet it was doing anything but such . Only for the bike to go faster and the feeling Her hand grabbing The material tightly Once more.
He enjoyed the closeness , the feeling of her touch on him , her chest laying Against his Back it was good , too good he didn't realize he Pulled the accelerator as hard As he did but then again it worked in his Favor too having her more Close to him . She was special he couldn't deny it And couldn't deny he felt something More than friendship with the woman . He wasn’t shy if he could he would tell her not a problem , it wasn't the time she was going Through the other side of a life of hell so instead of it all he would help her as much as he could . Build A friendship he Was happy with that for now and meant It . She first person not to see him as a project , subject to examine Or something to play with when life got a little boring . Although they were good friends now at start it was exactly how jean made him Feel .
The bike pulled to a stop she hopped Off looking around making him chuckle.
“ here you'll see it better without this” he chuckled Taking the helmet off her head . Her eyes looking up At the big gate . it was what she remembered well from the print of it from her grandmothers album . she always said when she was older every landmark in that book she was a going to see for herself . Now here she stood at one of those landmarked moments in her grandmothers album . the same exact place only in color and not in the print she was looking with her own eyes it was a surreal moment. Something that felt so far removed and yet it was happening in real time . she could help the smile that over took face it was probably biggest smile logan seen on her face that was for sure . another surprise how energetic she was almost bouncing from foot to foot to even get start and yet she stay in one part til logan got close once he did she put her hand in his and pulled him forward eager to explore they place she only heard of in a stories . not once did her grip on his hand pulled away even when she was looking at statues and getting him to read the signs she couldn’t . her eyes wide and curious watching people pass by or dogs on their leashes she almost hid , she forgot all this existed it was a bittersweet thing to being free was relearning the things that existed animals , people and places. Even ducks and local park life was so foreign to her mind and yet she knew what they were but it was like it was imaginary in away . some parts reminded her of the mansion she wondered if this park was where charles got inspiration . He watched , talked her through everything frankly he was torn between sad and thinking the reactions were adorable . small things that were almost a luxury to her where as he and many people in the park or even mansion . all the things that usually didn’t really get a second thought and now he realized he was kinda grateful to experience it all again . then she froze completely her brows arched like she was trying to figure out something til the first time she let go of his hand and walked ahead almost running leading him to follow. She went to the bushes and disappeared and reappeared before he could even react to what was happening.
“ you know you can’t take that home” he chuckled as she looked up and little fluffball in her hands .
“Why not he’s alone , isn’t that what the school is for” her head tilted” she smiled looking down. “ i already named him logan meet bub” she beamed holding the kitten out poor thing was in a rough shape almost resembling her when he first saw her in the cage and yet a little cute. “ i will deal with professor man ” she shrugged taking his hand again .
“ oh this i will want to see” he chuckled following after her slightly disappointed til she took his hand again .
“ can we come back here” she asked softly .
“ yeah we can come back anytime you want sweetheart” `he smiled instantly he knew there and then she was the one for him .
" he can't say no to bub" she giggled as the kitten nuzzled into her arm.
" i call you bub though " logan smirked .
" i like sweetheart more" she smirked walked a head pulling him behind her .
part 7
taglist : @oscarissac2099 @ayamenimthiriel @mega-kittyglitter-1
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett#logan howlet x reader#james logan howlett x reader#logan x reader#logan wolverine#james logan howlett#wolverine xmen#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#xmen#xmen fandom#professor x#charles xavier#jean grey#ororo munroe#scott summers#cyclops#storm#logan howlett x y/n#james howlett#fluffy fluff#fluffy#for once
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My critique of CW’S The Flash
The Flash is one of my absolute favourite shows, and I think it deserves one of these. Yes my favourite shows deserve critiques because there are changes I would’ve liked to see instead. This is all just my opinion on the show, not exactly hating it. Plus.. I saw someone else doing something similar to here goes.
Imma be clear at the start. I don’t hate WestAllen, just really really disappointed with how they were written in the latter seasons sometimes.
Props to every actor in the Flash who put all their effort into the show whether the script was cringe or not.
Season 1-2 was FIRE. No complaints. Loved the WestAllen.
Season 3 was good,
but I think they could’ve done Savitar better. Still liked him as the big bad being depressed/emo!Barry. I’ll say that I got really attached to Harry in S2 which made me wonder why they have HR there at all? The dude grew on me, and he added humour to the team, but honestly between him and Harry, it could’ve easily been Harry. Though it means he would die at the end.. so I’m glad Season 3 had HR Wells instead sorry not sorry.
The relationship between Julian Albert and Barry was so fun to watch. Which reminds me, LOVED Eobard’s appearance as Matt Letscher in 3x01. I have no idea why they continue to use Wells’ face like bruh. Your pretending as Wells is over so like why. GIMME MORE MATT!EOBARD.
I loved Frost???
Season 4 was also great.
I’d say more quality than season 3 because it was their first time against a big bad that WASN’T a speedster yet posed a more than adequate challenge to the team. The plot was nice and unique (I really loved Hazard!). I’ll say that DEVOE was kinda showing some red flags before becoming the Thinker in his relationship with Marlize, like he seemed kinda overly possessive of her. Glad that she switched to helping Team Flash after seeing what her husband had become. Loved her “Thinker’s first victim” line.
I felt like they started focusing on Cecile too much? Her role was vital to the plot at the end with helping Barry hop into Devoe’s mind to retrieve Ralph. And speaking of Ralph, I was neutral towards the character at first, but he grew on me. Also why fire him for sometning he did like 10yrs ago. That made no sense. I’d rather Ralph than more Cecile or Allegra.
LOVED ALL THE BANTER BETWEEN HARRY AND CISCO. And FROST FROST FROST!!! I liked her S4 outfit. I also think Barry’s supersuit was the best in this season.
One of my favourite episodes was “Flashtime”. Awesome awesome filler episode.
Season 5 was also great.
Barry’s supersuit was trash tho imo. He just looks like a weird deformed strawberry.
Above average but not quite as good as S4. LOVED NORA WORKING WITH THAWNE then Barry finding out and tossing her into the pipeline cell lol. Just the betrayal, and then dumping her in the middle of a random street in the future. Loved all the father-daughter moments she had with Barry. Cool to see the writers creativity in “meta-tech”.
However Iris.. bro in 5x19 she has some issues bringing up the fact Barry NEEDED to go into the Speedforce TWICE. And then her telling Barry to his face that she didn’t care that Nora was working with Thawne. Like bro, he murdered your husband’s mother and caused sm problems. And you don’t care about that?? Good to see that Barry called her out in the end.
Imma complain about freaking Sherloque again. Why not Harry? Even after what happened to him in S4, I think he could’ve figured out that Nora is secretly working with Thawne. Like dude’s still smart af.
Nora getting erased from existence at the very end.. sad :( I miss S5 Nora
Season 6.
I feel like this is when everything started going downhill. I didn’t care for Mirror Monarch. The mirror!Iris storyline was interesting to see. Idk what happened the rest of the season. That’s how much I didn’t care for this season lol. I think the other half was about Ramsey and how he wanted to make everyone zombies. Man I HATED Sue Dearborn or however you spell her name. She just took up too much screentime. This is when it started feeling like “Iris & Friends” instead of “The Flash”.
Liked to see how Barry dealt with slowly losing his speed bc he was killing the speedforce lol. Liked how the Caitlin/Frost duo became separate people. It was cool. At least we got that lol.
I think this is when Allegra comes in. I honestly can’t stand her. Like the whole her and her sister trope? Why.
The one thing I did like was Barry’s artificial speedforce gave him speed thinking. Awesome episode to watch. EXCEPT NASH. WHY. His sacrifice is useless in the end because of the whole “Iris is Barry’s lightning rod” thing. Have nothing about a speedster’s lightning rods in the comics, just didn’t like how that was written into the show. It eventually got really annoying.
Season 7.
Where do I even begin. This is when Barry’s “children” became a thing, and then suddenly speedforce!Nora wanting to kill all of them? Like what??? Where did that come from? Dion’s storyline was interesting. The rest were just.. Meh. And the CGI was so cringe.
I loved Abra Kadabra??? Why they gotta kill him off in one episode.
Does Chillblaine start coming in this season? I dislike him in general.
Season 8.
THIS IS WHEN BARRY’S ACTUAL CHILDREN COME BACK.
Now with Nora getting erased in S5, I really would’ve preferred if they gave us Tornado Twins instead. Like you can even use the same actors, but I honestly don’t really like the new Nora. I did like seeing her interaction between her and her family.
Also. Bart. I. Have. Major. Problems. I LOVE Bart but he is supposed to be Barry’s GRANDSON. Give us Don Allen instead. I did like the episode where they messed up the timeline, went back to 2013 and then accidentally reset Jay into the timeline. Also loved the episode with the whole Barry and the gamma radiation making him age hella fast. Bro was basically a zombie at the end and still overloaded the machine with the speedforce.
The. Stupid. Power Rangers godspeed arc was shit and them being Bart’s Thawne-like arch nemesis. Like boy, don’t compare Thawne with your godspeed problems. Don’t even start. Also what is with the “Negative Forces” and “Positive Forces” Power Rangers thing and then Iris’ time sickness? At this point, The Flash just started to feel like a soap opera.
I liked Chester even though he was a “replacement” for Cisco. He was unique. But the whole Allegra/Chester budding relationship where did that come from?? It just seemed very cringe and didn’t do much for the plot besides drama I guess. Khione was meh. Like just give us Caitlin with Frost in some way. I don’t care about Khione and her arc. Pls give us more Barry and not so much Cecile and Allegra.
Season 9
The show should just be renamed “Power Rangers: Iris & Friends” at this point. They made an entire episode without Barry?? Like if I pick up a Flash comic book, I expect it to be about THE FLASH. Not his random friends. Like yes, his friends can make appearances but don’t give me a whole dang episode without Barry THE MAIN CHARACTER. Also how the hell did Cecile become that OP, where is the character development.
Idk where Chillblaine comes in but I just don’t like him, not to mention that I don’t like the relationship between him and Frost. Like what.
Eddie’s Cobalt Blue arc and Red Death arc could’ve been done WAY better. I didn’t see any plot relevance in any way. It was written so poorly. Red Death was just like evil speedster!Batman or something. Please don’t bring our beloved Eddie back if you gonna write him all just jealous of Barry and him somehow becoming the new avatar of the Negative Speedforce. And what does Batwoman have anything to do with this (I believe she appears in the finale villains arc)l
There is legit only one episode I like in S9. The one that comes “full circle”. The one where Barry gets stuck in 2000, gets to chill with his parents for one day, and then comes full circle with Matt!Eobard killing Nora. SEASON 1 QUALITY. They even use the same bg music which awwww. And the “If I can spend one more day with my parents, then what would I say to them?” Line? Chef’s kiss.
Did not like the finale. His final run speech was okay about sharing his gift. Definitely would’ve preferred if Barry became the lightning bolt that struck him in S1 like in the comics.
Idk which episodes: Loved all the Amunet & Frost storyline, and then Goldface time to time appearances. Especially “Officer Chemist” lol.
#this was long af#dc#dc comics#Barry Allen#the flash#Iris west#WestAllen#cisco ramon#caitlin snow#Harrison wells#Eobard Thawne#reverse flash#eli speaks
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Summer 2024 Anime Overview: Senpai is an Otokonoko
Aoi falls for an older girl, Makoto, and one day she confesses love to her senpai. But then Makoto reveals that he is an otokonoko- a crossdressing boy. Much to Makoto’s surprise, this only increases Aoi’s attraction, as she’s 100 percent supportive of crossdressing and ecstatic about getting to enjoy both the “boy” and “girl” versions of her senpai. Complicating things is Makoto’s best friend Ryuji, who has a huge crush on Makoto even though he won’t admit it to himself.
Meanwhile, Makoto is dealing with an incredibly transphobic mother, so he hides himself at home and lives in fear she’ll find out that he’s crossdressing at school.
This is a sweet, heartfelt, queer show with some very good kids and a lot of sad and happy feels. Prepare for heartstrings to be tugged. I grew very attached to the main trio in various ways,as they all have their own individual struggles related to gender, sexuality and heteronormative society. They're going through it, but they always work to understand and accept each other.
Makoto is obviously the central focus with the Gender of it All, and you see him struggle to navigate a world that sees gender in strict binary terms and tries to limit the ways he can live. The show strikes a good balance in showing the heartbreaking obstacles Makoto deals with but also showing the joy he finds in unexpected acceptance, affirmation, and connection. It’s sad when he tries to force himself to be ‘normal’ but it’s all the more heartwarming when his loved ones support him being who he truly is. A big focus of the show is Makoto trying to figure out if he wants to “live as a girl” as the show puts it, or if his relationship with his gender is something else.
I was surprised at how much I liked Ryuji, he might be my favorite. His struggle with his internalized homophobia and his yearning for Makoto literally made me cry at one point, which is rare for me with media. Plus, he’s just a sweet kid and good friend who puts up a laughably paper-thin "tough" front and you want good things for him. And that’s true for all the characters.
Aoi is a character who starts off as a comedic genki girl, (and to some she even initially came off as a chaser, but as her layers peeled back it becomes clear that’s not the case). I liked her from the beginning despite her being A Lot but I was concerned she might boil down to the unfailingly Cheerful Girl Who Supports Makoto—but she gains a tremendous amount of depth once her backstory and personal struggles start to unfold.
Honestly, she really resonates with me as an ace person and her storyline seems primed to head in that direction, but I’m not naïve enough to think I’m going to get an actual asexual storyline where we examine how some people simply don’t feel romantic and/or sexual attraction and can still be fulfilled…and yeah, judging from the few spoilers I’ve seen, it’s not about that. It’s a bit disappointing, since it would really fit in with a show so focused on non-heteronormative sexuality, but y’know. We’re used to it. I never expect much. I will be interested in how it unfolds in the movie and hope whatever story they choose will at least be well told.
So basically, the show not only presents a love triangle where not only do you want all of them to be happy (sadly poly will not be the answer) BUT also a love triangle where each person thinks it would be better for their so-called "rival" to end up with their crush because they all love each other and want each other to be happy, but they all think very little of themselves. Amazing. A love triangle that’s truly all love but in the most hurtful way possible.
Aoi, Makoto, and Ryuji’s bond is really the star of the show for me more than any independent relationship and (though if I had to choose the friendship between Aoi and Ryuji is low-key the cutest to me).
There’s not many caveats to this show, obviously it examines transphobia in sometimes heartbreaking ways, and Ryuji’s internalized homophobia can be rough (I wish someone would directly tell him he’s not gross). I did find the pacing to be way too rushed in early episodes, but it evened out as it went on.
For something that’s neither good or bad: one thing that was noticeable about the show is it really avoided any queer terminology, in a way a lot of modern queer manga doesn’t. Again, this isn’t a bad things, and I honestly wouldn’t have noticed if one of the characters hadn’t met an older queer person (which is great! Love it when older queer people help the younger generation and show them they’re not alone)—yet this person doesn’t share any kind of specifics and how they identify is kept ambiguous, though they clearly have been to drag clubs/communities at the very least (as a blink and you miss it thing). In some ways, this might be purposeful, it felt like the story wanted the characters to be applicable to a lot of queer experiences, and one of the main points of the show is Makoto’s uncertainty about his own identity and not feeling comfortable in certain categories. Labels don’t work for everyone.
However, a few more specifics felt like it would help with adding context to some of the characters. Does Ryuji know other gay men exist? Does he think he’s the only one? I honestly have no idea. There is a possibility of these kids getting to know a wider community that seems tantalizing but unlikely to be capitalized on and sometimes the show’s desire to be nebulous about all this can feel like a missed opportunity.
Overall, I think this is a touching, worthwhile show about affirmation and love and the complexities of being queer in a limiting society. And of course that means a bunch of homophobes review bombed it because they apparently just now realized queer stories have always been a big part of anime. Knowing this makes it even clearer that shows like this make an impact and deserve support, and I’m really glad a movie to wrap things up has already been announced.
Give this show a watch, and maybe bring some tissues.
#senpai is an otokonoko#senpai wa otokonoko#my crossdressing senpai#makoto hanaoka#hanaoka makoto#summer 2024 anime#anime overview#ryuji taiga#taiga ryuji#ryuuji taiga#taiga ryuuji#saki aoi#aoi saki#anime#my reviews
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