#i should really trust more people but the fear of offending them/them telling someone is SO STRONG

[kerosene-saint]

when you feel terrible but the two people you trust aren't available so you just kinda sit there like "oh no"

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 46)

He crawled back out of the vent, doing his best to conceal the way fear clung to his casing like a vice, the vile, offending piece of cloth stashed away in his pocket, it felt heavy there, like just having it in his possession was inviting something terrible into his life, he tried his best not to think about it.

“Find anything?” Hal asked, leaning back on the wardrobe, facing away from the ever watchful eyes of the porcelain dolls. They were extra freaky now, amplified the feeling he was having of being watched. His tail twitched, reacting to his inner fears and beginning to coil up, every single sense he had dialed up past eleven to the point he could hear the oil rushing in his bosses tubing with a startling degree of clarity.

Should he say something? He felt as though Doll was exclusively a him problem, something that he alone, or at least him, V, and Uzi should deal with alone. At the same time though, Doll had killed worker drones, many many worker drones, and was a equal threat to those that lived here then she was just to his family. The simple peice of cloth seemed to become heavier, he looked at Hal.

He’d not met him but yesterday, but still felt that he could at least trust the man, he’d defended Uzi, showed concern over both his daughter and himself, but a day wasn’t really enough to truly gauge how someone was, N wasn’t so naive.

“Yeah, I did. But it’s… complicated. Tell you when we get out of here?” He settled on that, he’d tell Hal, maybe more eyes and ears would allow them to find her faster, not giving her a chance to think about going after the people he loved, or anyone for that matter.

Hal immediately looked taken aback, like this wasn’t something he was expecting before he nodded and looked back at the doorway, Mrs. Hopkins still hadn’t arrived to check on them.

“She fell asleep sitting on the couch, what do you wanna tell her?” Hal asked, putting a strong hand on N’s shoulder, N appreciated the gesture and he sighed, turning over his decision in his head,

“I don’t think it would effect Mrs.Hopkins, whoever was up there wasn't here for her.” He said after thinking for a moment, if Doll wanted to harm the old lady… for whatever reason. She'd already be dead, and they would be here for a different reason entirely.

“So, say theres nothing to calm the paranoid old lady, while investigating the vents more closely?” Hal suggested, running a hand through his beard.

“That's lying…”

“That's keeping the peace, N.”

Hal was probably right, as much as N really didn't like it. If this lady was already paranoid, telling her it was justified would probably only double it, and possibly distract other officers by calling in false flags.

“O-okay.” It was more stammered then he'd intended, and Hal nodded, leading him out of the room and into the living room where the old drone was, head resting on the back of the couch, snoring.

Hal cleared his throat to try to wake her up, but if anything it only made her snore louder, Hal sighed, but before he could do anything else, N took over, kneeling in front of where she was on the couch and shaking her gently.

She woke up immediately, startling before quickly realizing who was in front of her, even if for her he looked like a tall blurry white and black blob.

“Oh! Did you find anything?” She asked him and him directly, and he froze for a second, he was terrible at lying, he'd always been terrible at lying, his eye's moved over to Hal, who looked at him expectantly.

“Nope! J-just a colony of robo-roaches, you and your apartment are safe.” He smiled, his eye twitched and he stammered, almost wincing.

Thankfully, she didn't seem to notice, and gave him a small smile.

“Ah, well thank you for checking anyway young man, I appreciate it.” She reached up and pinched his cheek, it didn't hurt, but it did succeed in making him feel leagues worse about lying to her face.

“No p-problem!” He quickly stood up, trying to make as much distance between them as possible as quickly as possible, sweat digitized on his visor as he looked away.

Lying was like a hot-iron on his soul. She'd probably be fine if Doll had already been here, but he didn't know that.

“We'll take our leave now Mrs. Hopkins, take care now.” Hal took over from there, leaving N to stand at attention beside him and begin to zone out.

He thought he'd been dealing with the threat of Doll decently well, but now, with this kind of upset, he had found that he'd simply not been dealing with it at all, putting it in back of his head in favor of anything else.

Why couldn't… why couldn't things just leave him and Uzi alone? Why couldn't he just have this? Domestic Bliss until their cores gave out, and they'd be surrounded by their kids and grandkids, hand in hand as they drifted off together into that sweet nothing.

That… was actually kind of sad to think about, and chances were one of them would probably fall permanently offline before the other, statisticly. But it was still a nice thought, going together.

But no. No they couldn't have that, clearly the universe wouldn't let them.

“N. You alright?” Hal's voice knocked him out of it, and he'd only now realized they were almost back to the office, had he really followed Hal back on autopilot?

“Talk about it in your office?”

“Deal, and I'll get ya a drink, I don't like that look on your face.”

They made their way quickly to Hal's office, and N quickly took note of the space. Many pictures of him and who he presumed was his wife, a redhead with bright, white eyelights. Her hair was braided, and in her arms was a little droneling with florescent pink eyes, he was smiling, but he looked… off.

Aside from the many pictures, there were trophies and medals congratulating the man on jobs well done

“Alright, what cha find that got your tail kinking up like a scorpion?” N blinked before looking back at his tail, it was poised, ready to dart forward at a moments notice.

He took the strip of cloth out of his pocket and handed it off. Hal took it and turned it in his hands, squinting his eyes as he turned a brow up, clearly questioning.

“It's-It belongs to an outfit of a worker drone. Doll.-” He paused, looking for Hal's reaction to his words, the older man remained calm, but his questioning look dissipated at the mention of the drones name. “She caused all those deaths around prom this year, and… she's after V, and my family, specifically.”

“I'm aware of what she's done, I launched a search for her, but we quickly lost the trail.”

“She can teleport, so that's not surprising.”

At that, Hal seemed startled, he opened his mouth, seemed to decide against what he was going to say, before starting again.

“I… didn't know that.”

“We… uh, Uzi, V and I. She was after V, and probably me by extension of… what I am. But Uzi stepped in, She's… a target as well.”

“Does she know about your daughter?”

N gulped, feeling his core shudder at that thought.

“I don't know…”

Hal looked away from him, once again tangling his fingers in beard, When he looked back, N was looking out the door, fist balled, a worried look that Hal recognized sometimes in the mirror.

“Yeah, I'll get some teams to do a through look through the vents.” He said eventually, stepping towards N in a way that both suggested authority and kindness.

“You. Go home.”

“W-what? Did I do something w-wrong?” Immediately N's head snapped back to attention, like a spring that had coiled up too tight.

“No, you've done everything right so far, impressed the hell outta me even. But I'm not gonna make you sit at work and worry till ya scream. Plus, If you all are a target, you should be in our short-range system now, you can call in any time.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much Hal.”

“Still want you in the office tomorrow! Need to talk to ya some more!”

He shouted at N's retreating figure, before he glanced at his old family photo, it took a moment, before he tore his eyes away and sat down at his desk, looking at the scrap of cloth with apprehension.

Next->

[scarletwitchproperty]

Can’t remember what I used to fight for - Chapter 2

masterlist

Pairing: Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal, Rio Vidal x Wanda Maximoff (you’ll see 👀)

Words: 2.1k

Summary: Stephen Strange is an asshole. That’s it. (Also Rio is a downright menace and Wanda can’t resist her - if you haven’t guessed we don’t do slow burn in this house 🤭)

Warnings: a throat being cut? (Did I already say we don’t like Stephen Strange?), blood (see previous warning 💀), Rio and Wanda almost doing the nasty against a tree 🫢, swearing, blood kink if you squint

‘’Miss Wanda? Are we safe in this thing?’’

‘’Yes Nicky, for the last time yes.’’

The Scarlet Witch and little Nicky were currently seated inside a quinjet sent specially to bring them back to America, and more specifically to the Avengers headquarters, base, living area or whatever people called it these days. Wanda had a long conversation with Sam over the phone, and another more tearful one with Clint. The man was glad to hear from her, but a clear warning was issued that the Sorcerers of New York still kept an eye out for her, even if they believed she was on the other side of the world, some of them even believing that she was dead. Clearly she was not, but as a precaution the remaining Avengers (which was not a lot, and it didn’t count the small number of teen/young adults making up the young Avengers team) decided to smuggle Wanda and Nicky in.

‘’Are you sure? Mama and mommy always levitated to get somewhere, or used a broom,’’ Nicky revealed as he played with Wanda’s hand. They had been on the flight from her little cabin in Sokovia to New York for at least seven hours, and for a six year old not used to modern technologies that was an awful lot of time. ‘’But I trust you, if you say we’re safe then-‘’

‘’What the hell is that thing?’’

The pilot’s exclamation, a random Shield agent assigned to bring them back, was loud and filled with enough fear that it quickly garnered Wanda’s attention. Her green eyes surveyed the outside, seeing the Avengers Compound not three hundred meters away, but the floating people in front of the engine was what made her blood run cold.

‘’Fuck, this can’t possibly end well.’’

‘’Sir please, I kindly ask you to levitate away and out of our trajectory. This is official Shield business, you are not allowed to interfere,’’ the pilot said in a mic, his words echoing outside the quinjet. ‘’If you do not move we are going to have to call in reinforcement.’’

‘’Who are they miss Wanda?’’

‘’People who do not know when to mind their own business Nicky,’’ Wanda answered the little boy, putting an arm over his shoulder. The little boy wiggled on his seat to be closer to her, wrapping his own little arms around her waist. ‘’Do not ever trust a Sorcerer, do you hear me Nicky? This one messed up so bad it wrecked the multiverse.’’

‘’Now now Wanda, there is no need to corrupt an innocent child again.’’

Without even thinking about it Wanda thew a red ball of chaos magic towards the offending voice, glowing red eyes falling upon an open portal not three meters away from her. Nicky tensed beside her, his tiny body shaking as none other that Dr Strange got up from the wall he had been thrown against.

‘’I admit Wanda, I thought you were dead.’’

‘’Well, clearly you were wrong.’’

‘’Mind telling me why you’re back in the States?’’

‘’That is none of your damn business Strange, and you should stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong,’’ Wanda shouts as she stands up, taking great care in placing herself in front of Nicky. The world would end before someone touches a hair on that boy’s head. ‘’I don’t want to fight you, but you really should go before it gets ugly.’’

‘’Not before you hand the boy over Wanda. You need to stop kidnapping kids for your own gain, it’s not right,’’ Strange says as he attempts to get to Nicky. He gets blasted in the face by another one of Wanda’s famous blast of chaos magic, unnerved at the giggle the young boy lets out as a result. ‘’The boy does not belong to you, hand him over. NOW!’’

‘’That boy belongs to no one! Not you, not even me, but I’ll be damned if I let you put your filthy hands on him! If anything Nicky belongs with his mothers!’’ Wanda is seconds away from going full Scarlet Witch on the Sorcerer, hand twitching with red sparks getting more intense as time passes. ‘’We just want to go at the Compound, meet with everyone, and we’ll be on our way to find his mothers alright? Don’t make this harder than it needs to be, please.’’

‘’I’m sorry Wanda, but I can’t let you do that. I do not trust you.’’

Faster than Wanda can react, Strange drags Nicky to his side via a portal he opens in less than a second next to the child. She does not blink, Wanda does not think, only she knows the next thing she’s doing is tackling the Sorcerer through the quinjet’s wall and into the forest ground under the engine. She has her hand around the man’s throat, briefly glancing at Nicky being protected by a bubble of her own magic far enough away that he won’t get hurt by stray blasts of magic.

Unbeknown to the Scarlet Witch, as soon as they crashed on the ground someone very special had their location locked in on her mind, and was set to appear in the blink of an eye.

‘’I told you not to touch that boy,’’ Wanda growls as her unoccupied hand glows a dangerous red, a dagger gradually appearing in her hand. ‘’If I find a single scratch on his skin, I will end you do you hear me? What’s better is if I find his mothers, I won’t even have to do a thing. One of them is enough to torment you even beyond your death.’’

‘’I don’t believe you Wanda.’’

‘’…I would advise you to believe the Scarlet Witch, Sorcerer. You do not want to mess with Death herself.’’

‘’MOMMY! YOU FOUND ME!’’

Wanda was positively bewitched by the sudden appearance of this new woman, this entity. Death was kneeling on the ground, her black and dark green outfit coupled with a veil demanding that she be looking at it, and Wanda only had to blink so that Nicky was released from her protective bubble so that he may run into his mother’s embrace. The little boy did so with enthusiasm, nearly sending both his mother and him toppling to the ground, oblivious to the fact that Wanda was clearly checking out his beloved mommy.

‘’There you are my little love, you’re okay,’’ Rio sighs with relief, clutching her son to her. Her very much alive and human feeling little boy, with a very slowly forming bruise on his little arm. ‘’And I stand corrected. Who did this to you Nicky?’’

‘’It’s the Sorcerer mommy!’’

‘’Is that so?’’

The bottom of Rio’s face took on her beloved skeleton state, eyes glinting with dark intent as they met those of the trapped and scared Sorcerer. To any normal human being, her work form would make them fear Rio, would make them want to run for their life. To Wanda she was a vision, more than the Vision ever was. She was magnificent, captivating, radiating power and magic in such a way that it compelled her to look at the woman. To Wanda, Rio was utterly spectacular.

Wanda’s hand unconsciously tightened around the Sorcerer’s throat when she realized the little boy whom she knew for less than twelve hours was physically hurt, the dagger in her hand hovering over Dr Strange’s throat.

‘’You know what Steven? I lied, Nicky’s mothers won’t be needed, I will fucking end you like I promised,’’ Wanda says with venom in her voice, fully aware that Rio was looking at her. Strange seemed to realize only then that his situation was more complicated than he thought it would be, eyes going wide as the Scarlet Witch’s dagger slowly pierced the skin of his neck. ‘’There will be no heaven waiting for you on the other side, this I promise you.’’

‘’No, just little old me,’’ Rio cackles, floating their way with Nicky in tow. She smirks at Wanda when she catches the other witch checking her out once again. ‘’Like what you see sweetheart?’’

‘’Mommy!’’

‘’What Nicky?’’

‘’You’ve got mama already!’’ Nicky exclaims as he sees Wanda’s face turning red. ‘’She doesn’t like you like that anyway! You don’t know if she likes women!’’

‘’Who said that little love?’’

‘’Not me, you’re gorgeous.’’

Wanda freezes when three pairs of eyes fall upon her in surprise.

‘’Crap. Did I say that out loud?’’

‘’Of course you did sweetheart, how else would I know that you’re interested in me?’’ Rio is positively thriving on Wanda’s squirming, the Scarlet Witch reduced to nothing but a gay mess for Death herself. The green witch hovers above the younger witch, skeleton face harsh as she looks upon the still restrained Sorcerer, but voice oh so delectable and low to Wanda’s ears. ‘’Go on then, Wanda. Slit his throat, you might get a reward if I’m feeling generous.’’

And she does. Wanda full on blinks and her dagger is covered in Strange’s blood, her face not faring any better. She’s horrified at what she’s done, feels the thick red liquid running down her cheeks in the most unpleasant way. And yet, when her eyes lock with Rio’s, all her thoughts vanish. Death is smiling, hand gently cradling her cheeks and thumbs halfheartedly trying to wipe away the man’s blood marring her skin.

‘’Nicky, look away would you little love?’’

‘’Why mommy?’’

‘’Just be a good boy and do as I ask okay?’’

As soon as Nicky turns away Death is upon her. Literally.

Wanda gasps as Rio pulls her up and pushes her up against a tree, blocking her hands above her head and immediately attacking her neck with her mouth. She moans, full on moans when Rio sucks a hickey onto her neck, body vibrating with nothing but need as the green witch licks the blood off of her. It should repulse her, and deep down it does, but Wanda feels like she would do anything Rio asked if it is in her capacity.

Her hands twitch when the other witch gets to her cleavage, teeth teasingly pulling the material of her top away from her skin, only to let it go after a second.

‘’Sweetheart you don’t know how magnificent you are with all this blood all over you,’’ Rio mumbles against Wanda’s skin, languidly tracing a path with her tongue from the younger witch’s cleavage to the corner of her mouth. Brown against still glowing red, Death has trouble containing herself. ‘’ The things I would do to you right here…’’

‘’Why don’t you?’’

‘’A lady such as you deserves to be ravished in the most comfortable place in the world, a forest floor not even reaching the top fifty,’’ Rio whispers in Wanda’s ear, smirking when she feels the other woman shiver when she gently bites down on her ear lobe. ‘’Look at you, so responsive. Imagine what you would do if we were in bed right now, you with your legs spread, me eating you out and Agatha watching us from a chair. Or better yet, her strap hitting you from behind while I eat you out. Sounds good, doesn’t it?’’

Inaudible sound come from Wanda as a furious blush rises on her cheeks.

‘’What’s that sweetheart?’’

‘’…yes…’’

‘’Still can’t hear you pretty girl.’’

‘’I SAID YES!’’

‘’There you are,’’ Rio smirks once more at Wanda’s admission, stepping away from the witch. She observes how Wanda can barely breathe normally, how she evades her gaze when Rio knows damn well the minute she turns around the witch will seek her out. ‘’Hold on to those delicious thoughts sweetheart, there’s one last thing I need to do before we go.’’

Dr Strange, whom until then had been stuck in this weird half alive half dead state, hands desperately trying to ebb the flow of the blood coming from his neck wound, feebly tried to wiggle away when Rio walked his way. He found that all movements was impossible.

‘’Listen to me and listen to me well you little shit,’’ Rio snarls, grabbing Strange by his top. The man was vibrating from fear, eyeing her skeleton half face with abject horror. ‘’I won’t tolerate you messing with my family a second time, do you hear me? Wanda is off limits, Nicky even less. If I see you snooping around Westview, you’re dead. If I so much as hear that you’re looking for us, you’re dead. You step one toe out of line and you’ll be gone to the afterlife in a snap.’’

Reluctantly Rio heals the Sorcerer, and then proceeds to send him away with a simple wave of the hand. She’s about to step back to Wanda’s side when a young voice makes itself known.

‘’Mommy can I look now?’’

A/n: yeah, maybe that was a bit quick 🫢

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Could you do townies reactions to a non-human farmer? I imagine my farmer with mouse ears and a tail! Thank you!!!

Sure thing :D

Since you picture your Farmer with mouse ears and a tail, the Farmer will be like that in the stories. Thank you for asking! 🫰 Enjoy!

SDV townies react to a non-human Farmer:

"So that gnawed through bag of grain and seed was your doing, Farmer?" Well done Pierre, very considerate of you. What makes him think that even if Farmer has rodent-like body parts, they should behave like a rodent? Pierre decided to quickly fix the not-too-successful dialogue with his client for the better, offering the offended Farmer to purchase delicious cheese with a 45% discount, because they must be very fond of cheese! *judgmental look* What, he screwed up again?

Strange, Haley could have sworn something had changed in Farmer. Tell her the truth? What are they talking about? Oh? Hee-hee, why were they wearing those funny furry mouse ears? They're kinda cute, Haley's already reaching out to touch them and recognize the quality of the fabric and- Yeeeeeeeee! They move!?

Emily knows the feeling: only yesterday she felt like a fragile butterfly flitting from one flower to another in a flurry of dance. Today she feels like a free bird, spreading the wind with her feather wings! Ah, she can tell the Farmer a lot about- What? Not just a feeling? Are they real? That tail.... Oh. She doesn't know what to say. Maybe they could come over for tea and talk about it.

The Farmer can trust Marlon with their secrets without fear - the old one-eyed adventurer won't tell anyone about their inhuman origins if they want to keep it a secret. Furthermore, if the Farmer is persecuted because of their non-human origins, he will give them refuge in his Guild (only if the Farmer hasn't done something illegal or immoral).

Hold on... Caroline needs to check her herbal tea. Hmm, no, it's fine, nothing toxic in it. So Farmer's mouse ears aren't a figment of her imagination? Interesting. She's not really surprised (which surprised Farmer themself). The thing is, Caroline has dealt with something unusual before when she was younger. Well, to be more precise - with someone unusual, but she decided not to go into details, or else there would be too uncomfortable questions. She treats the Farmer's secret with respect, and they treat hers with respect. Wouldn't you agree? Excellent! More tea?

Gil will also keep their secret, and give moral support to their young Guild member. If the Farmer is comfortable, then maybe they will tell Gil about their non-human and not-so-ordinary life. Gil would be interesting to hear, he'd just about pour brandy (or tea if Farmer don't like alcohol) for everyone.

Young man/lady, why are you wearing those silly mouse ears? The Fall festivities are still a while away, so what's the point of this masquerade? What? Speak up, George can't hear you. Are they real? Yeah yeah, and the tail too, he bet, you can't fool him. He may be old, but he's not stupid enough to believe this nonsense.

When Rasmodius looked into the future, he saw vaguely that the new Farmer would be an unusual person, but even he had no idea they would be so unusual. Well, he would react to it calmly (the wizard had seen a lot in his life), even suggesting a special magical ointment if they wanted to hide their non-human origins from unwanted attention.

Haha, good one. Wait, they're not joking...? Wow, interesting. Looks like the Valley holds more secrets than Leah could have imagined. But... What does that change? So, a little non-human, so what? They're kind enough to her and the other people of the Valley, so Leah will accept them warmly and without prejudice.

Heh, what a weirdo. Spirits Eve is a whole season away and they're already wearing a costume. Alex can't figure out why they're wearing those mouse ears. Wait, did they twitch? And the tail, too? !?!?!??! What?

Being an outcast is nothing new for Linus at all. He knows that those who are different from the many are usually subject to ridicule and bullying. Fortunately, Stardew Valley is inhabited by people who are kind and patient enough. And Linus wants Farmer not to feel like an outcast because they are different from humans either. Let Linus repay you for the kindness you showed them at the very beginning of your arrival at the farm.

*Gasp*! Jodi dropped the plate and it shattered. Yoba, how is that possible? Wait, surely it's not a contagious disease or mutation? If they have limbs like a rat, they don't transmit diseases like rats, right?! She's terrified of rats and mice! Was that rather rude of her? Forgive her, Farmer. But they can't just go to her house and tell her that they're- half mouse? Or half rat? Or... She still doesn't get it.

And when Kent came out of the bedroom at the sound of a broken plate to see if his wife and Farmer were all right, he saw Farmer in their real guise. Kent's reaction was just 🗿 You shouldn't expect anything else from him. He'll stand there with 🗿 face and look at the guest, and then with the same 🗿 face he'll go get a broom and dustpan to pick up the plate shards from the floor.

Willy learned of Farmer's secret by accident when he was returning late from the Saloon and caught Farmer on the sandy shore as they were engaged in night fishing. It would not have surprised the old fisherman..... Except that the Farmer was fishing with their tail instead of his rod, and quite skillfully, aye aye! Willi immediately assured the Farmer, who was frightened at the sight of him, that he would not give away their secret. He also wondered if fish really bite better on their tails.

Abigail, in addition to delight and surprise, will also find reason to tease Farmer a bit. Just a little. She won't mock Farmer, of course, but she will often blow into Farmer's mouse ears to annoy them a little, especially since the ears twitch so amusingly from the ticklish sensation. Alright, alright, don't look at her so grumpy, she'll be a goody-goody :3

"....Are you one of those weirdos on TV who claim to be dogs/cats/any other animal?" Pam always watches that show over a bottle of beer and laughs at the absurdity of people. Hey, what are they looking at her like that? Yeah yeah yeah, they're not lying of course. They even can get a number and sign up for their show, might become a new TV star.

Uhhhh.... Yeah, sure, that's great! Penny is so happy for them! Oh no Penny seems to have forgotten to turn off the iron, the stove, the faucet, whatever, she has to go now, bye! (Oh Yoba oh Yoba oh Yoba... Either the Farmer's crazy or Penny's crazy.)

"Holy shit" was all Sebastian said, dropping cigar from his mouth as Farmer revealed their true colors to him. Farmer might think that Sebby felt disgusted with them, but he actually thought it was the coolest thing in the world. Sebastian will keep their secret and not show any negative emotion (inside he squeals like a girl "oh Yoba this is so cool" but he won't show that emotion either. Sebby is pretty reserved on emotions).

Wow, what a miracle... Gus has seen and heard all sorts of things, but this is the first time he's ever seen anything like this. Still, it doesn't change anything, and his Saloon's door to the Farmer is always open. He can also understand that sometimes constant secrecy can bring a lot of stress, so Gus will make them their favorite meal on the house. If they can't make it to the Saloon, he'll deliver the meal directly to their home. Human or not, no one should be hungry and sad.

Oh, my goodness! They have whiskers and mouse ears! And they're real! Marnie got a little scared. Oh, no, no, no, she didn't mean to hurt them, please forgive her! They're not scary, she was just more surprised. *Sigh* Now she feels bad. Maybe a treat of tasty cheese will make up for it? No, she's not teasing them, the cheese actually turned out delicious.

To say that Harvey was at a loss for words when Farmer was x-rayed is an understatement. The doctor was in complete shock. At first he was a little annoyed and didn't understand why Farmer didn't want to take those toy ears off their head. But when the x-rays and tests showed that it was all their body parts..... Okay, he'd have to look up in medical books if there was such a phenomenon at all to at least understand what he was dealing with. Hold on, not a human? Okay, now he doesn't need books, he needs wine. A very... strong... wine.

What? How? A change in the body? A mutation? Animal ears and tail?! They need to get him to a lab right away, Demetrius needs to take tests and x-rays! It's a real phenomenon. He can't believe it. He.... Oh, sorry Farmer, he shouldn't have overreacted and embarrassed Farmer so much. Apologize for that.

"Dad..." Maru knows that her dad can overreact if he gets too passionate about something, so her mom or herself needs to remind her dad about respecting personal space. And though Maru herself is very interested in Farmer's singularity, she's more worried about their health. It doesn't negatively affect their lives in any way, right? If Farmer feels unwell, let them turn to her or Dr. Harvey.

"What's happened? Don't tell me you almost burned down the lab again-" Robin hadn't really woken up yet (especially after a night at the Saloon with her husband), just yawned tiredly.... and looked first at the Farmer with the mouse ears for half a minute. Then she looked at Demetrius and Maru. After that she decided to turn 180 degrees and walked back to the bedroom. Well, she won't be ordering that new Gus cocktail again.....

"What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese! Oh, how about this one: What did the teenage cheese yell at its parents? Leave me provolone! Hah! And another one-" even Farmer in their hidden thoughts couldn't imagine that after telling Sam about their real self, the young musician would start telling dad jokes instead of, you know, being frightened or surprised. Sammy, dear, you're too young for that. On the other hand, Farmer is glad Sam hasn't changed his mind about them. "What kind of music does cheese like?" Oh, gods...

Shane spent literally two minutes looking at the mouse-eared Farmer and replaying in his head Farmer's admission that they weren't quite human. Then Shane looked at his can of beer. It's full, which means he's still sober. He looked at Farmer again. Then at the can of beer. And again at the Farmer. And again at the beer. "Fuck..." He wasn't going to have a good day off today.

"My dear, I've known about this for a long time" "What?..." As it turned out, Evelyn was very close friends with Grandpa - so close, in fact, that he had told her about his family unusual origins, knowing that Evelyn would keep it a secret. And it makes no difference whether Grandpa is human or not. They were the kindest person and a wonderful friend. And his grandchild is just as kind and wonderful ❤️ Oh dear, Farmer, why are you crying?

Lewis only shook his head at that. In the Farmer's family, it seems to be some kind of strange joke that has been passed down from generation to generation. First their Grandpa also claimed to be non-human, and now the Farmer. Heh, hilarious, made the old major laugh. You're so much like him, Farmer, and the jokes are the same. Lewis warmly remembers his youth and his friendship with Farmer's Grandpa...

When the Farmer decided to tell the secret to the children of Stardew Valley, Vincent was the first to bombard the poor Farmer with a bunch of questions. He believed that the Farmer is like a superhero who could hear better, or they could smell better. Oh oh oh! And they can talk to animals, mice particular? Because if yes, then wow!!!

Leo also decided, along with Vincent, to question the Farmer about their unusual origins. It turns out that they are as strange as Leo himself. That is probably why they so quickly found a common language on the island. You could say two birds of the same feather. So you can really talk to mice like Vincent claims?!

Despite her great curiosity, no less than that of her friends, Jas refrained from asking many questions, realizing that perhaps telling this secret was not easy for the Farmer. And the fact that they had to hide their non-human origins upset Jas a little. Oh! Maybe she and Vincent and Leo will also wear toy mouse ears and claim that they all and Farmer have organized a secret club? Then the Farmer can walk around in peace without fear! (The Farmer laughed off the idea, but decided to give it a try. Surprisingly enough, it worked).

"Yeah, so?" Clint can safely compete with Kent for the best reaction to Farmer with their story about their non-human origins. Just pure 🗿. And it's unclear if Clint is either tired of all this shit with blacksmith that he doesn't show a single emotion, or if he's seen weirder people.

Yoba! Unbelievable! So his dear friend isn't human? That is so amazing! Wait, wait, wait, Elliott is interested in hearing about their lives as non-humans. No, wait, he has to put it down on paper. It'll be like their biography (he'll hide their real name if Farmer wants to). What? What do you mean he wasn't surprised? He was very much surprised, all emotional right now! Disgusted? Absolutely not, nonsense! Elliott generally thinks their mouse ears are quite cute. *Ahem* Well, let's not get distracted, he's already got the paper and ink pen. The story begins...

"Fascinating. It's either a race unknown to mankind or magic", Gunther scratched his chin for a long time, lost in thought. In any case, the door to the library are always open for Farmer, maybe they would find useful information about their unusual case. Or they come to him for a cup of hot coffee, maybe they'll talk about the various civilisations whose artifacts have survived to this day.

"Discounts at JoJa Mart for cheese and seeds! Seeds are discounted by as much as 50% off! You can buy enough to both plant on the farm and nibble on the seeds yourself. You love them as a mouse or something, don't you? Then buy from Joja before they sell out!", and it seemed to the Farmer that no one could outdo Pierre in his tactlessness. They were wrong. First place went to Morris. Well done. The fuck is wrong with these two...

[theflyindutchwoman]

You did good.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 3.06 - Revelations

Starting the scene with Tim keeping an eye on Lucy, from his lookout, is such a fitting metaphor for him… He's always been protective of her, even more so after Day of Death. There's no one else she trusts more to have her back - and, honestly, I doubt he fully entrusts anyone with her safety. That's partly why he's offended when Nolan reminds him that she can take care of herself : this isn't the issue, he is fully aware of how capable she is. He's just terrified of losing her. That's this fear that is driving him for a big part of the episode. And, unfortunately, this op - Lucy's very first undercover mission - happens at a very inopportune time.

We saw how at the beginning of the episode, he was feeling comfortable enough to talk about Isabel and undercover work. It's the first time he actually mentions her name umprompted or without shutting down right away. He was even able to remember those fond memories without them hurting. His smile reflected his healing and progress in moving on… That is, until his friend Mack showed up high, his mistress in tow, and almost died. Reopening Tim's old wounds at the same time. His whole demeanor changed after that : he became more guarded, more tense. So learning that Lucy was sent on an undercover op right after - a mission he knew nothing about - was understandably triggering. If he was already getting nervous when he realised she was interested in this line of work, it paled to how he was feeling after that. He saw firsthand with both Isabel and Mack how the department turned the other way when something went wrong, so his reservations made perfect sense. This is one more person he cares about that he's afraid of losing to the undercover world. Unfortunately, as valid as his apprehension was, lashing out when Lucy was getting ready wasn't the best move.

He's not the only one being anxious here : so is Lucy - although for a different reason. His opinion matters to her the most, so she was naturally hoping for his support. Her confidence was visibly shaken after his disapproval. But somehow, it makes her conversation in the van with Nyla and June that much more heartwarming, with the way these two are trying to boost her confidence and help her relax. To reassure her as well. Nyla's mentorship is truly special : I feel like there's a side of her we only get to see with Lucy. Her approach is so different from Tim's and yet, they perfectly complement each other, giving Lucy various perspectives and shaping her into the well-rounded officer she now is. And she excels here, showing how really smart she is, between her knowledge in chemistry and her language skills, and how good she is under pressure. The thing with her is that she's mainly unassuming, leading most people to underestimate her… Something that she gets to use to her advantage and turn against them. She manages to use her fear, like Nyla advised her, adding a dash of a 'devil may care' attitude in the mix, and it works wonder for her undercover persona. The fact that she was able to improvise this well without any proper training just proves how skilled she truly is. And I like that this also taps into her background in psychology. Her potential is undeniable.

For someone who was positioned relatively far away, Tim gets to the roof really fast for the arrest… suggesting that the second Lucy got into that car, he quickly abandoned his post so he could get closer to her, should she need help. And how telling is it that he makes sure that he's the one arresting her. His little 'You okay?' betrays how worried and antsy he is. He couldn't even wait for them to be in a more secluded place, like in the shop, before asking her… He's also so careful with her when he arrests her, one hand on her shoulder, the other holding her hands - a complete contrast to John who is practically dragging Nyla by her elbow. The way Lucy looks rather closed off when she goes to sit in the shop, not knowing what to expect after his outburst from earlier, and just lights up as he compliments her… His approval means so much to her. We saw her unwavering faith in him when she admitted previously that she knew he would find her, no matter what it took. She deserves the same so it is a really great moment to see him empower her again, putting aside his feelings on the matter. I don't know if it was Nyla's or Nolan's comments that made him think… maybe both, maybe neither. But he took the time to do a little introspection and realises that in that moment, this is about Lucy. At the end of the day, he wants her to succeed. He wants to support her, not make her doubt herself. And as someone who is aware of his complicated relationship with undercover work, she can fully appreciate his gesture. She never really had that kind of unconditional support before, so this means so much to her. Nyla piling on with her proud wink was perfect. Short and simple but just as meaningful.

[nyssandracousland]

Chapter 9

Nyss woke up with her door slightly ajar. She decided to peek out and as she could hear two voices coming from down the hall. She recognized one was Cullen and the other Greagoir.

“You will be there.” Greagoir said then started to walk away.

Nyss didn’t hear anything else from the conversation, except the slow footsteps of who she assumed was Cullen approach. She backed away from the door and dove into bed. Her door slowly open, and Cullen stood in her doorway.

“Hello?” She said from her bed.

“Oh My Lady I am so glad you are finally awake.” He said relieved.

“What time is it?”

“After midday, I wanted you to sleep, I felt you needed the real rest.” He said.

Cullen didn’t seem himself, he came in and sat on the edge of her bed.

“What’s troubling you?” She asked, placing her hand on his arm.

“Nothing My Lady, just tired. Someone kept me awake last night.” He forced a smile.

Nyss knew something was bothering him. “Have I said or done anything to offend you?”

Cullen looked into her caring eyes and could see himself in their reflection. “You have been almost too perfect.” He smiled, then straightened himself up. “Come! You have a little left to see around the Tower and the day is short.”

Nyss put on her cloak and shoes. Cullen leafed through a book while she arranged her hair. She could see him glance at her from the corner of her eye, and she could feel a her cheek grown warm.

“I wanted to show you something special today. Not many people are allowed in, but I have been granted to show you the reliquary where we keep the phylacteries before they are sent to Denerim.” He said.

“What is a phylactery?”

“When each mage comes here we take a vial of their blood. This blood is kept stored and if they ever were to run away, we Templars use it to track down the run away mage.” He said quietly.

Nyss softly recoiled, “So you are saying it’s their leash?”

“Yes.”

“So why tell me?” She felt slightly bothered by knowing this.

“You deserve to know. You asked me about The Harrowing and I obliged, I figured this was something else you should be made aware of.”

Nyss took a moment to think on what he said. Even if Emmy some day escaped from the Tower she could be tracked down and hunted like a beast. However the implication is to have a mage freed, you must destroy it so they cannot be tracked.

“Thank you for telling me.” His honesty was really getting the better of her. She really didn’t think that a Templar would be this forthcoming with information.

Cullen lead Nyss deep into the heart of the Tower. There were no windows, and no lit torches apart from the one they carried. Deeper into the belly they went and finally came to a locked door.

Cullen waved his hand in front of it and it slowly creaked open. They walked inside and he lit the brazier on the floor. Light flooded the room. It was full of vials and vials of mage blood.

“I thought you said it all goes to Denerim?”

“Once you pass your Harrowing, until then it stays here.”

Nyss examined the vials and the walls lined with even more mage artifacts. There were staves and cowls. Some robes, and tomes.

“Has anyone tried to break in here?” She asked.

“A few times. Some have been successful, but we have wards up and most do not make it past them.” He looked down. “It’s a death sentence for anyone magical to try.”

He walked over to a shelf and grabbed a particularly beautifully shaped vial. He handed it to her.

“What’s this?”

“That is Emmy’s phylactery.” He said calmly.

“Why hand it to me? I could smash it and she would be halfway to being free.” She asked.

“I trust you not to. I know you won’t do something like that.”

Nyss nodded. The vial was beautiful. Purple and blue glass, mixed with hints of red. The label read “Emelie Amell, Lady of Highever.” She half grinned.

“I had them write that on there. Give her the dignity she deserves.” He softly said, placing his hand on her arm gently.

Nyss closed her eyes and exhaled. “I appreciate you trusting me with this is, but I fear I am quite uneasy being in here.”

“Let’s leave then.” He carefully restored the vial to the illuminated shelf, “Care for a game of chess?”

“Anything.”

As quickly as they entered it seemed they had left. Cullen first up the stairs and then Nyss right behind him. They made their way back all the way up to the balcony they played their game on.

There they sat for hours, enchanted by strategy and one another. The Frost Backs glistened with snow and the sun slowly went down behind them. Nyss felt chill crawl up her spine. The breeze had picked up and Cullen seemed to notice it too.

“Let’s go in My Lady, your nose is turning a lovely pink, and my stomach tells me it’s nearly supper time.” He smiled.

They cleaned up their game and walked alongside each other to the Great Hall. When they entered Nyss could smell the warm aroma of herbs and meat. She took a deep breath.

“It smells fantastic in here.” She said.

“Tonight’s meal is special, we only get it once in a while, and since we have a special guest I wanted to share it with you.” He smiled.

“Me?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Of course you. It’s a Ferelden special. Turnip and Mutton pie with a lovely side of Hearth Bread and Golden Scythe 4:90 Black.” He smiled.

“It sounds delicious.” She grinned.

The pair sat at their table and other Templars joined. Nyss ate and drank happily as the other men spoke of their lives to her. She asked each one how they came to the Circle and what their aspirations for it were.

They all wanted something better for Thedas, was the consensus. She wasn’t going to argue, but she also didn’t want to evoke any anger towards Mages so she kept her opinions to herself and kept drinking.

She smiled as each Templar told her about their families and how even though they rarely see them, they love the life they have serving the Maker. She admired their devotion, even if it was to a sad cause.

A while later Cullen stood and told her it was time for bed. Nyss excused herself from the table and they walked back to her chambers. Cullen walked slower than usual. The drink making his senses a little fuzzy. Nyss held onto him so she wouldn’t tumble over. She then started to laugh at absolutely nothing.

“What’s so funny?” He asked.

“I just realized I sat around with Templars drinking all night.” She giggled. “You have to tell me did I make a fool of myself?”

Cullen leaned against the hallway wall and chuckled. “Not at all Nyss. You kept your composure quite well.”

That was the first time he called her Nyss.

She blushed.

“I’m glad, I didn’t want the liquor to loosen my tongue. I might have embarrassed myself and everyone.” She smiled.

“You were magnificent. A drinker to contend with!” He said emphatically.

“Shhhh” Nyss shushed him, “People are sleeping.”

Cullen laughed. “I haven’t had this much fun in my entire life.” He glanced at his feet and put his hand behind his head, “I really wish you didn’t have to leave.”

“We have all day tomorrow to enjoy, then I can see my friend and we can take off into the sunrise!” She said happily, almost as if wishing it to be truth.

Cullen opened the room door for her, and then grabbed her hand as she walked by. “Thank you My Lady for an enchanting evening.” He kissed the back of it slowly. He soft lips left a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Nyss heart beat so loud she knew he could hear it.

“Odd how you can find someone in life who can wiggle their way into your heart so quickly when you allow it.” He mused, slowly letting her go.

“Goodnight Ser Templar.” Her cheeks rosy,. “We truly find things in unexpected places.”

“Goodnight Nyssandra Visus Cousland, I will be here if you need me.” He bowed.

She shut the door and melted against the back of it. ‘So this is what it feels like.’ She thought as she sat on the floor. Slowly Nyss moved to the bed and watched the world spin around her as she drifted to sleep.

Nyss woke up realizing the end of her stay would be tomorrow and she could finally see Emmy. She was excited, but also in a bit of a fog. She had drank quite a bit the night before but remembered the last of it perfectly.

Nyss got dressed and braided her hair into a crown around her head. When she opened her door to find Cullen, he was still laying on his cot. She smiled, ‘He drank a bit too much too.’ She walked over and sat on the thin edge of his bed.

“Ser?” She tapped him on the shoulder.

“Mmm, I said the Chant twice before I fell asleep, leave me be.” He mumbled.

“Cullen, it’s time to wake up or I’ll go roam the Tower alone.” She threatened teasingly.

That seemed to rouse him. “No my lady!” He startled awake

“I’m just kidding!” She laughed.

“Makers breath, you are a sight to wake up too. I’m sorry I over slept, I fear I let myself go too far last night.”

“No harm, come let’s go eat breakfast.”

Cullen got up and put on his boots, and straightened his robes. Nyss folded his blanket and handed him his gloves.

They walked together to the Great Hall and sat at their table. Fine cheeses and hot oatmeal was served. They ate in silence until their minds returned to their normal state.

“Do not Templars have a draft that gets rid of this?”

“Ha! If only. I would do it all again though for last night. You really are the most fun.”

Nyss smiled at Cullen she was glad he could have fun with her. She was happy her mind had wandered away from Emmy.

“It’s my last full day here is it not?” She asked

“Yes, tomorrow morning they will make her pass the final test.”

“But it’s not a Harrowing right? That means she will be fine.”

Cullen scraped his bowl with his spoon. He swallowed and looked at Nyss. “It is not the Harrowing, but it is still as dangerous for her.”

Nyss eyes widened. A flicker of disbelief crossed her face. “You mean, she could be possessed?”

Cullen nodded.

Nyss leaned back and stared at the Great Halls ceiling. She knew what it meant for someone to be possessed. Instant death. ‘Emmy is strong, she’s made it this far.’ She reasoned.

Nyss closed her eyes and could feel Cullens gaze on her. She slowly opened her eyes and saw him staring at her. “It’s okay, Emmy is strong. She is a force. She will be fine.” He reached for her and squeezed her hand.

“So far it seems as if things are alright. No news is good news.” He said.

Nyss tilted her head to one side as she watched the Young Templar drink the last few drops from his goblet. The blue in his robes made the veins in his neck look bright. She did not want to, but she felt as if she was allowing herself to trust him. “Please, keep me occupied today.” She said quietly.

Cullen reached to her again, and placed his hand on the back of hers out of comfort. Electricity shot through her limbs. “That is exactly what I planned on doing.” His voice low, and reassuring.

Cullen walked Nyss through the gardens, and kept her mind busy with stories of his childhood. Cullen was a model child, and always did what he was told, while Nyss felt a little guilty being the one who kept getting in trouble with everyone, and told Cullen of the time she put itching salts in her fathers robes.

“You were feisty as a child. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that.” He said with a smile.

Cullen was smiling a lot more and to Nyss, it was nice to see. Almost as if he forgot himself as a Templar. She liked that, it humanize him a great deal, and she felt even more comfortable with him at her side.

The pair walked through a small patch of crystal Grace and as they did, he instinctively reached down and handed her a flower.

“What’s this for?” Nyss said examining the stunning colors.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t think of the implication. I just saw it and thought you’d like it.” He said quickly.

“Thank you.” She smiled. “It is beautiful.”

“Just like the woman I handed it to.” He said so quietly Nyss was sure she heard him incorrectly.

They continued to walk through the gardens, Nyss could see sparks flying from the other side of a high wall. “Whats on the other side of this?” Nyss asked.

“That is where the Circle Mages practice their magic. They need a lot of space, as some of their spells actually pull them into the Fade. I’d let you watch, but it’s rather dangerous.” He said cautiously.

“I can only imagine Emmy practicing her magic there once she passes her test. She is going to amaze them with her abilities.” Nyss said proudly.

“Emmy will go over her last test tomorrow morning, if she passes it, she will definitely be over there in the future.” He said reassuringly.

Nyss stopped in her tracts and looked at her feet as if stuck in the moment. She looked up at Cullen and her green eyes started to swell.

“I have a lot of confidence in my friend, but I am worried. Like you said days ago ‘How would you feel being free, then caged?’ I would loose my mind under pressure. So please humor me.”

“Please, speak freely.” He could tell what she was about to ask was large. He took a stop closer to her and put his hand on her arm. “Tell me.”

“I have a thought, is there no way I can see her before her trial? What if she doesn’t pass? I would never forgive myself if I didn’t get to see her one last time.” Nyss said with a choked voice.

Cullens eyes searched her face. “No I - “ he stopped short.

He could see the pain in his new friends eyes. Was she his friend? Is this what happens? You start to feel for people who you spend time with. He was confused by themes emotions, but he didn’t want to see this young lady upset. “Let me see if I can talk to Greagoir. He has his rules, but this seems like a reasonable request.”

“Then I will wait here.” Her heart jumped with anticipation, “Cullen, thank you for even asking.”

“For you my lady, it is a pleasure.” He took his hand from her arm and turned to walk away. “Promise you’ll wait here?”

“You have my word.”

Nyss moved to a bench and sat down in the middle of the garden. She waited while Cullen went to find Greagoir. The sun had been shining and the spring had brought birds of all varieties flying over head. She could smell the aroma of fresh flower buds and mulch as she waited for the Templar to return. It seemed like ages before he came back to her.

Cullen walked up to Nyss and grabbed her hand. “Quickly, come this way.”

Without a word, Nyss followed him. He led her through back corridors and dark places. His grip ever tighter as they navigated the halls and spaces.

Finally after one last turn, he let go of her hand. Cullen took a step forward, turned around and said to Nyss “Stay here.”

As fast as he left her he was back, and behind him, was Emmy.

She did not look well. Her red hair was not glossy as it usually was, and her expressive eyes were lackluster.

“What’s happened to you?” Nyss asked and she embraced her friend. “I have been worried about you.” She kissed her friend on the head and held her close.

“I can’t even begin to tell you what’s happened to me behind that door, and I’m not going to tell you, for it would upset you far too much, and my heart cannot do that to you.” Emmy didn’t let go of her friend. They just stood there. Nyss’s eyes started to tear. “Whatever happens to me, just know, not all Templars are bad.” Emmy glanced at Cullen, “the compassionate ones are truly sent from the Maker.”

“My friend, I don’t know what I can do to help you through your final test.”

“Nyssandra my dearest,” Emmy wiped away Nyss’s tear. “If I do not pass, know, this was not your fault. You have always been my best friend. Remember the good times we had, and don’t forget, save the ones you can and be the woman you were meant to be.”

“I will make you proud. You will make me proud and by tomorrow this will all be over. We will be reunited and though different, our lives will still be meshed together.”

“You are such a beautiful soul.” Emmy said, kissing Nyss’ cheeks. “I love you.”

“I love you.” She responded, smiling through tears of pain.

“Emmy, it’s time to go.” Cullen said quietly. His words pulled her away from Nyss’s grasp and, and just like that was gone through the hall’s door.

Nyss put her back up to the wall and cupped her head in her hands. The pain this caused her, the only moments she had left with her friend. It ached in her soul. She let out a cry that was louder than she expected. She felt a stabbing in her heart. She fell to her knees and sobbed. She was shaking, and could tell from that brief visit, nothing good happened behind that door.

Cullen reappeared.

“Is that all the time I could have? It was mere moments.”

“It was more than you were supposed to have My Lady. Be great full, most people get none.” He reprimanded her.

Nyss hated to be corrected by a mage hating Templar, but she couldn’t disagree. “Then thank you for what you did allow me to have.” She sniffed, “I now know her fate is sealed. I will never see her again.”

“How do you know? Tomorrow may be fine.” Cullen said.

“She didn’t blow me a kiss like she usually does when she leaves.”

Cullen saw the pain in her face, and it made his heart ache.

She was still on the ground. Her knees were dirty and her hands were covered in tears. Cullen reached down to help her up. As he pulled her to her feet, he noticed the collar of her shirt was wet. He didn’t know how to react, as most people don’t care about what happens to mages, but this one Nobel woman did. He put his arms around her, and whispered, “I’m sorry for what I can’t change. She seems like the best friend someone could have.”

Nyss leaned her head on his shoulder. It was an odd feeling for her, it was a man she had not known more than a few days ago, but she felt comfortable enough to ask for his sympathy in this simple way.

As for Cullen, a woman in his personal space was a first. He kept strictly away from any thoughts of a woman, as not to be tempted. After all, no Templar wants to be struck by lightening for thinking of a woman as anything other than that.

After Nyss finally composed herself, she said “I would like to go back to my room to await the final test.”

“As you wish my lady.”

Cullen lead Nyss back to her room, and gently shut the door behind her. She then laid in her bed, with tears in her eyes, and fell asleep to the thoughts of her friend, whose appearance was as if she had been beaten and starved for the last week. Her dreams were not any better.

Chapter 10

Nyss woke up the next morning and opened her door anxiously awaiting any news of Emmy. Cullen was no where to be found. For the first time in a week, she had no one standing watch over her. ‘Where did he go?’ She wondered. It was uncharacteristic of him to leave her side.

Nyss put on her boots and made her way down the hallway to the entrance where she first came in. She pushed open the large door, and peaked around it. No one was around. This was her chance. She made her way across the hallway and to the door that lead to the mage quarters. Nyss fought to open the door, and when she managed to open it, heard the haunting sounds of people weeping.

“What the - ?.” She said to herself.

As she courageously continued in, her hands shook. ‘This hall is not like I imagined, it is a prison’. Rooms with barred windows lined the corridor, and across every flat surface was “To Serve Man and Never Rule over Them” in large black letters. It was the complete opposite from the Templar side of the tower.

Nyss looked into each room as she walked by. Bed, chair and shackles. ‘Shackles?’ Her heart pounded in her chest. ‘Was this was Emmy was subject to? A tender, gentle soul, chained to her bed for a week, out of the irrational fear she would succumb to a demons desire?’ She screamed in her mind.

Her intrusive thoughts continued as she made her way through the cell corridor until she came to another large door. This one was enchanted, she could tell from a far, and two templars were stationed outside of it.

This was the end of her exploring. The templars would never let her past. She quickly dodged into a room that had the door open for fear of being seen.

She hid behind the open door and let her eyes adjust to the light. Devastating. It was as awful as she could imagine.

There was feces on the ground and it stank like an ancient latrine. Dark shadows lined the wall, and the bed looked as if it had been recently vacated. She turned around to escape this nightmare and behind her stood a broad shouldered figure, dressed in all Templar Plate.

“What are you doing in here?” He asked looming over her.

“I - I needed to see what was behind the door.” She said quickly. “I promise I was not trying to do anything wrong.”

The Templar removed his helm. It was Cullen.

“My lady, this is no place for you. Come with me.” He grabbed her hand and took her out of the mage side of the Tower and back to the Templar side. He walked quickly and she followed behind, grasping his hand tighter with every step.

“You could get hurt.”

“Cullen mages aren’t as bad as you think. Please, understand that.”

“My lady, mages are vile, and need to be controlled. If they are not, they can turn into abominations, that breakthrough of the Fade. If allowed to roam free they could wipe out our entire existence.” He was stern. His eyes were focused, and his jaw was tight. He looked fearful and at the same time sure of himself.

Nyss could see something was not completely right. She feared the worst, then once she was in the Templars Quarters she looked Cullen in the eye and asked:

“What happened to her?”

“She - I, -she did not pass her final test.” His words fumbled out from between his lips and his hardened expression melted into regret.

“WHAT.” Nyss recoiled away from him.

Cullen moved in front of Nyss and placed a hand on each of her upper arms, holding her still. As if to brace her for the impact of his next words.

“From what I know, and been told to report to you, as the Circle Mages were performing their last test on her, she turned into a demon of rage. She killed a Templar and was then sentenced to a quick death.” His voice shook and his throat scratched.

“The Harrowing didn’t even happen, THAT’S the real final test. This was just supposed to be a precursor.” She said in absolute disbelief.

“My Lady,” Cullen paused, he had never dealt with someone who cared for a mage, this was a first for him. “The Harrowing is for ones who have been part of the Circle for a long time. This was a simple test to judge if she could even pass that in the first place. We have to be extra diligent with her being an apostate.”

“Cullen, she…, why?” Nyss completely broke down, The hold Cullen had on her arms was not strong enough, she fell to her knees and began to weep. Nyss started to gasp for air. Her lungs ached from the pain, and her heart felt as if someone had stabbed her and ripped her chest open. Her best friend was now dead, the most calm creature in existence was snuffed out because of magic, because of being betrayed by someone, because she was given at birth a gift that all in Thedas feared.

Nyss couldn’t handle it anymore. She stood up and looked at Cullen squarely in the eye. She wanted more information, something to let her know this wasn’t real. She tried to read his eyes, his lips, his thoughts.

Nothing.

She put her forehead on his chest and sobbed.

Cullen wrapped one arm around her body and the other placed on the back of her head, cradling her in place. He closed his eyes and calmly began his next words.

“My Lady, I know you’re angry. But please, please, know listen. Had she been out in Thedas as an apostate, she could have transformed into the demon and killed anyone or worse, possessed anyone near her, even you.” His attempt at comforting her made her cry harder. He wrapped his his other arm around Nyss and pulled her closer to him. She cried into him and she knew that Emmys life was over.

Cullen rocked Nyss back and forth in his arms, and laid his cheek on top of her head. Something her father had done when she would hurt herself or when Emmy would actually hit her with a fireball. Her mind raced with thoughts of what would be the next. Emmy was the only one in her life who understood her, who took care of her, who shared with her the deepest secrets, and just like that, she was gone, snuffed from existence.

Nyss wrapped her arms around Cullen’s strong shoulders and he embraced her tighter. It hadn’t occurred to her she was hugging him until this moment. She felt safe in his arms, and yet at the same time completely vulnerable.

She pulled away slowly, trails of tears running from her green eyes, the drops of sadness clinging to her eyelashes looked like diamonds in the light. She wiped her face.

“Thank you. I would like to collect her belongings and start to travel to Highever as soon as we can.”

“My Lady, I will get her things together and we will leave immediately.” Cullen paused and and drew in a breath. “I was instructed to give these to you.” He held up three parchment envelopes. “Emmy asked they be delivered to you if her fate was sealed.”

He gave them to Nyss and she hugged them to her body. She nodded in appreciation.

Cullen lead Nyss to her room one last time so she could pack her belongings. She did not come to the Circle with much, and she was leaving with even less. Nyss packed her clothes and her sleeping roll. She also packed the book she borrowed from the Library, and dawned her green cloak that Cullen gave to her.

Nyss wept for her friend as she arranged her things, making sure to secure the letters from Emmy carefully. She wished not read them now, but when she was less emotional to enjoy her finally moments with her.

Cullen had briefly left to secure supplies for the journey. He also came back with Emmys belongings. Nyss sifted through them thoroughly. A necklace with a locket, her ring, and her clothes she wore for the ride there. Nyss hugged the items tight then packed them in her bag. She took the ring as well as the necklace and secured them tightly by the letters.

She sighed a heavy sigh, and walked out her door to where Cullen was waiting patiently. In silence they walked to where their horses were stabled, and bordered the barge from the Circle to the main land.

Nyss dreaded what was to come, however she knew she had time to think about how to handle it. She watched the landing approach and gracefully mounted her steed, waiting for the long road ahead of her.

Chapter 11

When they disembarked from the barge, Nyss rode to the tavern on the shore. “The Spoiled Princess”. Cullen followed her closely, but by the time he had gotten to the door, she was already exiting.

“I needed to grab something.” She said sullenly. He looked at the bag she carried, it looked heavier than when they left.

As they made their way East away from the Tower, Cullen rode in front of Nyss. She watched his horse swing it’s tail back and forth and occasionally swat at flies with great force. She could hear the air whoosh by the coarse hair.

Nyss reached in her bag and pulled out a bottle of Hissing Drake. She tied it to her saddle and sipped it as she rode. The fiery burn as it went down her throat helped sooth the pain that was in her heart. She enjoyed the feeling of her head being slightly fuzzy and promised herself this was only to help the pain.

Nyss took another swig from the bottle. She continued to ride in silence behind Cullen who was also keeping to himself.

It was a quiet first day. Nyss needed this time to process what was happening. She hummed to herself songs that she and Emmy would sing in the Chantry. She wondered if the Maker was real, was there a place next to him, and did Mages go there.

Nyss rode up beside Cullen and looked at him cockeyed. “Where do Magesss go when they die?” She asked slightly intoxicated.

Cullen noticed. “My lady, are you alright?”

She looked at him and passed him the half drank bottle. “Bottoms up Rutherford.”

“Nyss.” Cullen stopped his horse and hers as well. He dismounted gracefully.

“What are you doing? I’m fine.” She protested as he brought her off her steed.

“I can’t have you falling off your horse while we ride. Let’s set up camp here for the night and we can both drink our thoughts away.”

“You’re not mad?” She asked as if she was going to receive a scolding.

He took her hands in his, and looked into her glazed over bloodshot eyes. “No, every day that I can make last longer with you is worth it, even under these circumstances.”

Nyss knew it was his job to protect her, but it was a comforting feeling that someone was there to champion her while she was so visibly inconsolable. Nyss could fight, but right now, she would be useless. As safe as the roads in Ferelden were, bandits were common these days.

The entire ordeal sapped all her energy and the inebriation didn’t help either.

Cullen walked over to a treed area that backed on to a small lake. It looked beautiful in the day light. Nyss walked cautiously over and tried to shake off her heavy buzz. She helped gather some fire wood and then laid out her sleeping roll.

“Do you want a tent?” He asked.

“No, I am going to let my soul be free to the skies so Emmy can watch over me.”

Cullen let the horses graze nearby and set up their saddles as pillows on the ground. He lit a fire, and started to warm up some food that he brought for them.

Nyss grabbed her blanket and her bottle of Hissing Drake and started to drink again. She passed it to Cullen, who took a long swallow. He had taken off his armor and was sitting in his tunic and trousers, just like Ser Gilmore did after a training session.

“Cullen- “ she said slowly. “You never answered my question. Where do Mages go when they die?”

“I always like to think they are with the Maker, no matter how they got there.” He said taking another generous sip of Hissing Drake. “Where do you think they go?”

“Someplace with no Circle or Templars.” She tilted her head to one side, “I think Emmy rests in the stars.”

“I think she does too.” Cullen said quietly.

“So tell me, Cullen Rutherford, have you never felt sympathy for a mage?” The alcohol that ran in her veins and gave her the courage to ask.

“Not until my eyes were opened by someone who sees more than just magic.”

Nyss sat back against a tree, the sun was setting and the hues of pink and orange filled the skyline. Nyss could make out a few stars that appeared early. She took a sip from the bottle and ate a piece of bread.

“What does being a Templar mean to you?…hic.”

“I wanted to help people. To protect them from harm. Make Ferelden safer. Show my family I have the ability to take responsibility. Being a Templar shows the world you want to do what’s right in the eyes of the Maker.”

Nyss crawled over to where he was sitting in front of the fire and propped herself up beside him.

“That’s a Nobel cause Ser Templar.” She couldn’t fault him on that. “Tell me, have you ever thought of leaving the Order?” She knew they had had this discussion earlier, but was hoping he’d tell her more this time around.

“I have thought about it, but I don’t think I would know what to do with myself if I did.” He looked at her. The sun was going down and the last rays of shine were dazzling in Nyss eyes.

“I understand. You could come to Highever! We always need more knights.” She said happily.

“That would be fun. I could train you to be an ever more skilled fighter, and continue to watch over you. Someone has to protect you from staunch nobles.” He grinned.

Nyss was flattered, so she plucked up the courage to ask Cullen something she’d wondered about. She figured it was the best time as ever. He had been part of the Chantry his whole life, and she was curious.

“Have you ever shared a kiss?”

Cullen looked at her surprised. “No, never.” He rubbed his hand on his neck awkwardly. “Have you?”

Nyss smiled for the first time that day. “No! Well once, I was five and there was a little boy running around the castle. He pecked me on the lips and ran away.” She laughed, “I started to cry.”

Cullen smiled at her, and put his arm around her shoulder. “I can picture you doing that.”

Nyss put her head on his shoulder. She took another sip from the bottle. “I may have …hic, bought three or four of these.” She announced sheepishly.

Cullen looked into her eyes. The fire lighting the night now, and her pale skin glowed in the light. “Then we will have the most interesting of time.” He said reaching for her bottle to have a drink.

The two of them sat there in the dark, watching the fire dance and sway. As sad as she was, she was happy he was there with her. She could never have imagined doing this journey on her own. Or with someone who did not even wish to converse.

Suddenly she remembered Emmys tokens.

“Cullen, the letters!”

“Are you sure you want to read it now?” He asked.

“I think it’s best, while I feel the way I do.” She dug through her bag and pulled out all three.

One was addressed to her, Ser Gilmore and the Amells. Nyss greedily opened the one to her and sat with her back towards the crackling fire.

Cullen could see her silhouette through her shirt where she sat and instead of adverting his eyes, he gazed at her form. It was perfectly curvy and beautiful. He had never seen anything so entrancing.

This went unnoticed by Nyss who was distracted by the letter. She looked up at him, “Can I read it to you? I don’t know if I can do this alone.”

“Please do.”

Nyss cleared her throat, and focused on the words. They were in Emmys handwriting. Slender letters with loops. She sniffed, then started read.

“My dearest Nyssandra,

I fear our time will be ending tonight. I wanted to give you this letter in my response to being caged. Please know I never want to be chained again. This week has taught me that without you, my family or Rodrick in my life, it would be a slow death.

That is why I am going to allow a spirit to take me over. I know the Templars will end my life - I cannot live with the thought of being in here, so please Nyss, be out there for me. Carry my memory with you. Love your life like you planned. Have adventure, have fun. Meet people, fall in love, save the needy, throw rocks at the Templars, but whatever you do, do not stop being you.

The hardest part is saying goodbye, I have loved you since the day you started following me around the Castle. You are what I consider a sister, and had I survived this ordeal, you would have been the best aunt to my unborn child. I named her after you, Visus. Roderick did not even know I am carrying her, but he will when he reads his letter.

Please my friend live and love. Do not let the end of my life end yours too.

May the stars guide you home, and someday we will be reunited among them.

All my love,

E.”

Nyss stopped. Her heart shattered in her chest. Cullen watched her eyes fill with sorrow and shock.

“She was… “ she started.

Cullens face turned a whiter shade of pale.

“You didn’t know?” He asked, moving her closer to him again. He placed his arm around Nyss and squeezed her into his shoulder. His own heart aching with the pain of knowing one life was not ended but two.

“It must have just happened, or she just found out. She would have told Ser Gilmore immediately.” Nyss crumbled into Cullens arm, her face in her hands.

“Ser a Gilmore? That was her betrothed?”

“Yes, and before you ask, yes, he knew what she was. It didn’t bother him. He loved her because of who she is, not what she has.” Nyss wiped away her tears again. She took a long swallow from her bottle, and Cullen did likewise.

They sat together in silence while the fire roared in front of them, sharing the bottle back and forth until it was gone. Nyss looked up at Cullen from her position. His face lit by the fire, and outlined by the dark sky. He looked tired and troubled.

“Are you alright?” She asked in a whisper.

Cullen shifted his gaze from the fire to the woman who was finding comfort in his left arm. His instinctually kissed the top of her head. Then wrapped his right arm around her, hugging her in the warm fire light. “Of all things, you ask me if I am alright.” He said in disbelief.

“Yes, I’ve done nothing but cry for hours. Most men from what I understand are rather uncomfortable with that.” She said slowly, making sure every words she spoke came out right.

“You are truly selfless.” He laid his cheek on the top of her head. “I am saddened by Emmy. I feel pain for her Ser Gilmore. I feel absolutely horrible about her unborn child, but mostly I feel for you.”

Nyss was unsure what he meant, but she asked kindly, “Why, I still have my life to get through, you need not feel sad for me.” She tried to sound optimistic.

“You are remarkable and I hate it. My life was simple, and then you come along and make me question my beliefs. You were not sent by the Maker, you were sent by his adversary.” He pulled her into him closer. “It only took me six days to fall prey to you.”

She breathed deep, “I did nothing.”

“You did not, and yet you did everything.” He paused as if to decide his next move. His body wanted to hold her, kiss her, take her sadness away.

“I think it’s best if we rest our heads.” Cullen gently let go of his embrace on Nyss and stood shakily.

He offered his hand to her and she gladly accepted the help. Together they staggered a few feet to their bed rolls. Nyss propped herself up against the saddle and lay on her back, with Cullen following suit on her right.

She stared at the sky though the tree branches, and as she did, Cullen reached for her hand, and held it tightly as he fell asleep.

Chapter 12

The next morning the weather had changed. The smell of rain and gloom was slithering in on the horizon.

The small sliver of day hit Cullen in the face and slowly pried his eyes open. He had been laying on his sleeping roll enjoying the momentary rest and the ache in his head from the previous nights Hissing Drake.

He looked over his left shoulder and saw an enchanting creature laying next to him. Her long hair tangled in the saddle she used as a pillow, and her green cloak tucked around her. He laid there a few more moments enjoying the view of her, then decided to wake her up.

“My lady, it’s time we get a move on.” He said gently rousing her.

“Hmm?” She rolled towards him and the memory of watching her sit in front of the fire flooded his mind.

Cullen had noticed she was beautiful, but last night, he resented her for it. Her mind and her heart were all to easily adored and her beauty just added to the perfect picture he was creating in his heart.

“Well, I think, I will be doing that again at some point.” She sat up. “How are you feeling?”

“Small head pain but nothing the day won’t fix.” Cullen smiled then looked out to the horizon. “It looks and smells like rain, let’s try to ride until we find an Inn, I would prefer to deliver you well and not ill.”

“I agree. From what I remember there’s one not far from here. A few hours ride.” She paused, “I really would love to sleep in a proper bed. It’s funny how you take that for granted.”

“Let’s get going - no one likes a drowned Templar.”

“Well, Mages do.” She forced a joke.

He smiled. “That I agree with.”

They cleaned up their campfire and made a point to leave nothing behind. They saddled their horses and mounted. As they started to ride, Cullen slowed his steed down to be in time with Nyss. They rode along side one another in silence until they were both fully awake.

Nyss tucked her hair into a braid and Cullen watched as she even adjusted herself to look more like a Nobel than usual.

“Why the change?” He asked.

“I wanted to befit the Templar guiding me home.” She said as she pushed a loose wave behind her ear. She wrapped her cloak around her and then glanced at him fiendishly.

He saw the mischievous look in her eye and she took off, with him following right behind her.

“Come on Ser Templar, catch me if you can!” She taunted as she rode faster and faster.

Cullen liked the chase. She was full of spirit and mystery. He enjoyed watching her in front of him dodge tree branches, and her cloak trailing behind her. Her strong calves kept her out of her seat, and she looked like she was gliding along with her steed. She was graceful and yet at the same time, so incredibly powerful.

Finally when Nyss saw Cullen could not catch her, she slowed her horses gait. When he caught up, she smiled at him.

“Not expecting that?”

“Not at all my Lady. It was fun, I could chase you forever.” He said, blissfully aware of the connotation.

She blushed, and they rode side by side again. “You do realize you can call me Nyss right?”

“There are other things I wish to call you.” He whispered to himself.

“Oh? Like?” She raised her eyebrow.

“Now I’m doing that speaking out loud instead of in my head thing you do.”

“Do tell.” She pried.

“I would call you exciting and adventurous.” He blushed. “I will call you Nyss, if you insist.”

She stopped her steed. “I do. The ones who may call me that are my friends. You are someone I would consider such.”

“So this is what it’s like to have one?” He said, running his gloved hand through his hair.

“I’ve enjoyed being around you and feel heavy hearted we have to go our separate ways soon.” She looked down.

“Then let’s live for the time we have left.” He said as he moved forward on his horse close enough to her to grab her hand. He took it in his, and gently kissed the back of it.

They day wasn’t far along when the rain had started to come down. They rode for nearly an hour in the downpour when the pair came to a tavern in what seemed like the middle of no where. They let out a breath of relief to see the smoke from the crooked brick chimney.

Once their horses were taken care of, the two grabbed their packs and made their way in from the storm. They were completely drenched from head to toe.

The tavern was warm and smelled of fresh bread. Nyss pulled down her hood and walked up to the Innkeeper.

“We require a room.” She said confidently.

“I have one left, so many people are trying to get out of the rain today. I hope it’s adequate.” The Inn keeper said looking her up and down.

“Thank you Sir, we will also require a meal, is there any lunch leftover?”

The inn keeper provided Nyss and Cullen with a hearty array of delicious items, and they decided to take it to the room they were provided. As they walked in, they immediately noticed there was only the one bed.

“I’ll make a spot near the fireplace. I like the warmth.” Nyss suggested.

“You take the bed, I can sleep on the floor.” Cullen insisted. “I know how much you wanted it.”

Nyss didn’t argue, she really wanted the bed. “Thanks, but first I need to dry off. I am absolutely freezing.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? We could have made a camp sooner!”

“It wouldn’t have helped, everything was soaked.”

Cullen started a fire in the fireplace and Nyss dug through her bag to find something change into. It was all wet. She looked over her shoulder at Cullen who had discovered the same thing. Nyss’ heart beat as she touched the letters from Emmy. ‘Still dry’ she thought. She was relieved.

She walked over to Cullen by the small table in the room and placed her hand on his back. He turned to her slowly, and she looked at him sheepishly.

“Everything I have is drenched. Do you object if I wrap myself in this blanket until they are dry?”

Cullen swallowed hard. She would be there, in the same room with him, naked. A lump formed in his throat and his eyes widened, and his pupils grew. “I am not worried. I have to do the same.” He lifted a shirt from the bag and it was completely saturated.

Nyss laughed. “Come on.” She grabbed his clothes and hers and began hanging them around the room. She slowly got undressed and as her trousers fell to her ankles she wrapped herself in a wool blanket. She then passed Cullen the other blanket and together they moved the bed in front of the fire to keep warm.

The rain was hitting the window loudly and the thunder was booming from the heavens. They sat together and watched the lightening display, while they ate, and took turns sipping on the Hissing Drake.

“You know, terrible as the whole situation is, this part with you has been very, eye opening.” She commented.

“Oh?”

“I enjoy you far too much good Ser.” She blushed. Her cheeks were flushed. Cullen could see her eyes dart between items on her plate. He changed the subject.

“To be fair Nyss, I never thought I’d be this close to a naked woman before.” He laughed.

“And I to a handsome man.” Her cheeks turned pink.

Nyss put her head on the Templars shoulder and watched the fire. His skin was warm, and he had a scar on his shoulder. It had been a deep wound. It was silvery, which showed its age

“What is this from?” She ran her finger lovingly over the scarring.

“If I told you a dragon bit me in an epic battle would you believe it?”

“If you want me to.” She smiled.

He took her hand from his shoulder and held it tenderly.

“I fell on my sword as a young boy. Just after I got to the Order, I was carrying it around on my shoulder and I tripped. Sliced nearly to the bone.” He made a motion with his finger indicating what happened. “I was so excited to be there I wanted to put on a show for the Senior Templars. I was such a foolish child.” He laughed and took a sip of the Hissing Drake.

Nyss instinctively kissed the old wound. Then realized what she did. “Sorry, I … I have no idea why I did that.”

Cullen blushed. His face completely rosy. “I-uh- I..”

Nyss tried to shake off the moment. She straightened up and took a long drink of the Hissing Drake. “You know, maybe I should just not go back to Highever.”

“What would you do instead?”

“Go to Orlais, or better yet, head to the Free Marches. I’m sure I could find some sort of work.”

“Why not go back? You have still much to do.”

“Inform people I love of the death of their daughter, future wife and their child?” She looked at Cullen squarely.

He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and the light made his shadow behind him large. He cleared his throat, “At least I know you would be safe.”

“Then why don’t you come with me?” The words fell out of her mouth so quickly, she couldn’t pick them up. “I know I am young, but I know I would be very happy to keep you close.”

Cullen turned to her, and he looked into her eyes. The fire light illuminating the glow she naturally had. He wanted to say yes, for the first time in his life, he wanted to abandon the Order completely for a woman he only just started to know. He reached up, and pushed a piece of her wet hair behind her ear.

“Do not tempt me Nyssandra, My Lady. I am libel to do just so.” He whispered pushing his forehead into hers gently. “Then you would never be able to be rid of me.”

Nyss tried to examine his thoughts. Closing her eyes and pressing her forehead back into his. No luck.

“Once you leave me at the castle, I’m sure you’ll have other more important matters that will fill your life Ser.”

Cullen looked down and placed his hand on top of hers. He wrapped his fingers around hers and said quietly “Up until now, this has been the most important matter I have had. I can’t imagine something more profound, more exciting, or more enjoyable.”

Nyss felt her heart melt into her stomach. She was flattered, and yet did not know how to respond. She squeezed his fingers with her thumb, and he returned the flirtatious gesture.

There were no words they could share at this moment. They sat together in front of the fire in silence and drank more of the Hissing Drake while they waited for their items to dry.

What seemed like moments passed had truly been hours. Nyss got up to check on the clothes. The rain still pounding on the window panes. The sky had gotten darker, but it still was early in the day.

“Dry, mostly anyway. I’m still freezing!” She said excitedly.

“Why didn’t you say you were cold, I would have..” his voice trailed.

“Wrapped me in your strong Templar arms and held my naked body close while you recited the Chant of light to remain pure?” She cackled.

“How did you know?” He said putting his undershirt on.

“Oh I know you Templars, always innocent until BOOM you take advantage of the naive Castle Maidens.” She teased as she put on her sleeping trousers under her blanket.

“My Lady! I would never, and you can trust me on that.” He smiled.

She knew he was being funny but also serious. She did trust him, and she hated it.

Nyss threw on her jumper and a pair of socks. She laid out her sleeping roll and climbed on top and crossed her legs. She watched Cullen carefully as he sorted through what was left of his damp clothes and repositioned them to dry. He maneuvered his armor and his shield. She was curious.

“Can I feel your blade?” She asked.

“Of course. Be wary it’s quite heavy.” He said passing her his one handed sword.

She took it carefully and examined it. A true Templar sword, it had the Makers blessing after all she figured. It was perfectly balanced and weighed more than expected. “No wonder your muscles are massive.” She smiled.

“Here, try this.” He passed her his Templar shield.

Nyss stood and held both ready as to defend herself. She took a few swings with the sword and was knocked off balance by her own feet.

“This is far too cumbersome. I prefer my bow.”

“There aren’t many Templars who use those, but I assume there must be some.” He smiled. “Now give that back, anyone who has been drinking should not be wielding a weapon. And given how you just tripped on air, I’m concerned for my life.” He sheathed the blade once again.

Nyss laid back on the bed and Cullen started to get onto the floor.

“This is wrong.” She said, “There is plenty of room up here, please, you can lay next to me.”

“Are you sure?” He asked hesitantly.

“Cullen what’s the difference of laying beside each other on the forest floor or on a bed in a Tavern?”

“Is this a bad joke?” He smiled, “because I have no idea.”

She playful tapped him with her hand. “No I just mean we are drunk, we are fine. Nothing will happen. Well I may show you how to make shadow puppets.”

“Shadow puppets? Something you and Emmy did?”

“Of course, she taught me!”

Cullen stood up and laid out his bed roll on the soft bed. He climbed up next to her, and crossed his legs as she was. He could barely look at her. Her tunic was loose, but her back was to the fire place agin. Her form beneath her garment was womanly and smooth. He wanted to wrap his arms around her waist and not let go. He finally lifted his eyes to her face. Soft skin, tanned by the sun, the scar under her ear, her nose perfectly pointed and the slightest upturn. Her hair, now half dry wavy in front of her face.

“You are the most beautiful creature.” He said so quietly, he wasn’t even sure she heard him..

She had heard him.

She blushed.

Once he was settled Nyss grabbed a lantern and put it between them.

“Alright,” she said holding her hands above her head, “this is a bear.” She maneuvered her hands to form a creature on the ceiling. “This is a dove.” Again she changed her hands a a bird appeared.

“This is a rabbit.” Cullen happily joined in, “and this is a crown, fit for any queen.”

They both started laughing. “What’s so funny?” She asked.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” He smiled.

“Well for me, Emmy and I would do this a lot when I was younger. She’d tell me stories and illustrate with pictures. It makes me happy to have someone else to share it with.”

“I laughed because I haven’t had this much fun in so long the last person I did shadow puppets with was Mia. Maker she’s amazing.”

“I believe it. You speak warmly of her. I love it.”

Cullen turned his head to face Nyss, she had laid down on her side and was resting her head on her hand. ‘Maker, keep me strong.’ He thought as he smiled at her.

She smiled back.

“Goodnight my fair lady.” He kissed her hand she just placed at her side. “Till tomorrow?”

“Do you wish to hear a story to help you sleep?” She asked.

“You tell stories?”

“Another thing we used to do together.” She shrugged, and turned to lay on her back.

“Then tell me.” He laid down next to her, and she started to tell him the story of the Black City and how the old gods were coming for their revenge.

She had been telling the story long enough that the lantern went out, and Cullen was happily sober again.

“Sorry, I must have bore you, I love ancient stories.” She said.

“No my lady. I could listen to you all my life.” He picked up her right hand in the dark and kissed it gently. He went to let go and she wouldn’t release him. Nyss gripped it tight, and rolled towards him, she placed her head on his shoulder and her opposite hand on his chest. She held him tightly to her.

“Goodnight my Templar.”

“Goodnight my lady.” He said cradling her in his safe embrace.

The rain had really interfered with their journey. The next few days were muddy and cold. Nyss continually tried to keep herself warm, and Cullen was doing his best to remain chaste.

Every night he slept with her in his arms, and every night he told himself he was trying to help keep her protected from the elements.

He knew it wasn’t true. He wanted her, he wanted to be with her. He did not want this adventure to come to a close. He had so easily become entranced by her, that he was willing to give her whatever she wanted to keep her as his ward.

Cullen’s heart began to tear. As much as he loved the Chantry, he was also falling victim to an emotional entrapment, one of which he did not want to let go of. He hated it, but also enjoyed being someone’s focus.

They were nearly done their journey and on this particular night Cullen insisted at stopping at a lake he had visited as a child.

The pair decided to take an early day to enjoy the spring and the lakeside. Nyss was more than pleased, she wanted to wash her hair and had been looking forward to it all day.

They set up their sleeping rolls and fire, let the horses graze, and then they both walked to the waters edge to start fishing for any sort of thing they could cook.

“Who taught the nobility to fish?” He asked.

“Fergus taught me. He made sure I could swim, and fish. No sister of his was going to drown easily.” She laughed.

Within a few minutes Cullen had caught enough fish on his simple line to have a full meal. He then wandered back to the campsite and laid them out and salted them to prepare them for when they would cook them.

As he did, Nyss took this moment to her advantage. She stripped to nothing but her small clothes and waded into the water with a bar of soap. Cullen came back and shielded his eyes. She laughed.

“What are you doing?” She called to him from the middle of the small lake.

“I want to leave you with your dignity in tact.”

“Oh my, come on, you could use a wash too.” She teased.

Cullen didn’t object, he was surprised at how easy it was to wear nearly nothing in-front of her and not be embarrassed. The water was cool on his skin, and it helped smooth his aches from riding.

“This feels so refreshing. It is almost like having a bath, just colder.”

“I enjoy this. I would swim here as a child when we passed by.” He splashed her with the crystal water.

“I can see why, it’s so peaceful, did you come here often?” Nyss asked as she lathered her soap and started washing her hair.

“A few times, my sister and I would play games together in the lake, and see who could hold their breath the longest. It was here my mother and father told us they had conceived us.” He laughed. “They thought it good luck after Mia was born.”

Nyss smiled and started to rinse her hair. The water ran down her shoulders and between her breasts like a water fall. Cullen was mesmerized. She could tell.

“Would you like the soap?” She asked, breaking his focus on her wet body.

He choked, “Ye-mmhm yes please.” He washed himself and then dove under the water.

Nyss couldn’t see where he had swam off too, so she looked around for him. Finally she felt something tug at her knees. She laughed. Cullen came up for air and wrapped his arms around her midsection. Then plunged them both under the clear waters.

Nyss fought to get back to the surface and Cullen had disappeared again. She gasped for air, but realized this was some sort of game he was playing. After a while they both tired and went to the shore. They laid on the sand there under the grey sky, drying off.

“You are too much fun you know.” She smiled.

“So are you. The fact you didn’t scream from the first time I pulled you under says a lot.”

“What do you mean?”

“You trust me.” He said quietly.

She paused, then spoke. “I do. It isn’t difficult to do so.”

Cullen smiled and laid back on the shore. He fiddled with a pile of rocks until he picked out one he liked. “In all this sand, there is a special stone. It reminds me of you, and our time we have spent together.” He said, “In all Thedas I never thought I would meet someone like you.”

She blushed, “Is that a compliment?”

“Completely.” Cullen didn’t know how else to respond. He longingly looked at the woman sitting next to him. He wanted to hold her, he wanted to for one moment forget what it was to be a Templar, and kiss the lips that he thought about for the last several nights.

He leaned in, and as he did, he could smell her. She smelt like beauty and sadness. He took his finger and ran it along the side of her neck where she had the scar. Her soft skin on his felt like a dream. Her skin responded and turned bumpy from eager anticipation.

Nyss shivered and Cullen remembered who and where he was. Nyss didn’t say a word, instead she moved closer to him. She placed her hand around his chin, and lifted her lips to his.

Cullen pulled back before they allowed themselves to enjoy the moment.

“I’m so sorry Cullen, I just..” she stopped, she looked ashamed.

“No, I know. I-uh-ugh.” He said taking her hand in his. He got up, and without a word walked back to the campsite.

Nyss sat there feeling foolish. She brought her knees to her chest and rested her head on them. ‘Did I read him wrong?’ She thought. As the hour went by she finally plucked up enough courage to go and sit by the fire with him. The sky had started to darken into evening, and she was getting hungry.

She sat down and Cullen passed her some fish. “Eat, you’ll need it.”

Nyss didn’t eat. She just sat there, trying to figure out what to say as she enjoyed her supper. Finally she spoke.

“Cullen look I…”

“No my lady.” He cut her off.

He Stood and walked over to her. He offered his hand down to her and she took it and stood in front of him. He led her back to the shore, and watched together the oncoming darkness as the dusk settled in.

“I - I have resisted up until now, but I’m afraid I cannot anymore.” He looked down to his feet. “I -Makers Breath Nyssandra you are absolutely something else. I’m a fool. I let the perfect moment escape.”

“No you aren’t.” She said softly, pushing his soft hair behind his ear, and caressing his cheek in her hand. “I am the one who should apologize. You are a man of Faith. I should never have thought you-never, ugh, never have.” Her words were stumbling from her lips. Cullen placed his hands on her jaw and put his thumbs on her lips as if to say, ‘it’s fine.’

“May I have the absolute pleasure?” Cullen asked.

“Are you certain?” He heart started to race.

“I have never been more certain in my life.” He whispered as he brought his lips home to hers like it was meant to be

The feeling in her stomach was one she had never had before, a sinking bottomless Feeling, where lightening bolts went off that made her legs weak. She didn’t want that his lips to leave hers. Cullen gently wrapped his arms around her lower back and brought her in closer.

Nyss couldn’t believe she was being kissed by a man, no less a Templar. She was cold, but his lips on hers made a fire ignite inside of her. She was enjoying every moment of it. He was gentle and firm, as she melted into him.

His strong arms pulled her even closer to him. Both of their breathing was becoming more rapid. Nyss knew he was her end.

Cullen kissed her nose and her neck. She let out a quiet moan of relief.

“This is what it means to fall.” She whispered as he kissed her scar.

She closed her eyes and let her body sink into him. She didn’t want him to let go. She wanted this to go on forever. She started walking backwards to their campfire. Each step, she was kissed, she felt more and more of a desire welling up inside of her for this man.

When they reached the campsite, Cullen gently let go.

“If I do not stop now, I’m afraid I never will.” He said still breathing rapidly.

“I don’t want you to stop. Ever.”

Cullen reached down and took her hand, and placed it on his beating heart. She could feel it was strong, pulsating through his body.

Nyss sunk down onto her bed roll and he on his, still holding her hand on his heart.

“Do you feel this?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“It has never beat like this. For anyone. It started during our first few days together and it won’t stop.” He kissed her finger tips. “You have done this to me.”

Nyss blushed. “You realize,” she took his hand and placed it on her heart. “You did this to me.” Her heart was beating through her chest. The burn in her soul wanted him all for herself. “These last few weeks have been shrouded in pain and anger, but you for some reason have helped me in more ways than anyone could possibly understand.”

Cullen for the first time in his life knew what it meant to be needed. He liked it. He wanted to be hers. He wanted all of her. He put his hand behind her head and wove his fingers into her hair. “You’re all I want.” He whispered pulling her closer and kissing her passionately in the fading light of his once bright campfire.

[polar-bears-making-pancakes]

i think communication is a lot of practising and im really bad at it myself so idk how helpful this tip is but: other ppl are just like you, theyre scared and all have different emotional scars. but irl isnt like the internet and people will not hate and block you if you offend them for saying a wrong thing. and if they do and cant forgive you despite your good intentions then theyre not worth hanging around anyway. so the tip is to remember that people irl are forgiving and nuanced. they are adults, not children anymore who see things in black and white.

(side tangent: where im from its culturally the case that people do not ask others about themselves and its very inappropriate to point out obvious things, maybe its the same thing for you. its not rlly the case that germans are direct, its that if they say sth about a specific topic about themselves, its an indirect invitation for you to do the same thing, but you cant ask them directly, thats very rude. it could seem to some like the autistic dream but i swear its awful and i find it impossible to ask my german autistic friend anything personal (eg. i fear if i ask about her dog she's going to tell me that he died and i'll think i made her feel bad for mentioning it). im trying to unlearn it because not only is it culturally different in the uk, but its also impossible to make friends that way.) (((sorry if i slander germany again its a bit immoral but its how i tell myself im morally superior to my family who thinks i shouldnt live in the uk. )))

so my tip is: get a feel for what you can ask them about. listen to them and what they like, and then ask them about it. it will make them feel loved and appreciated. tell them what you want them to know because they will feel that you trust them and then they can do the same thing for you. its a way of showing them that you love them.

i love you and im asking you how your degree and thesis are going? you were saying that you struggled with it and i know you are very busy atm. i wish you good luck with it <3 you got this bro

hiiii thank you so much for this message and I'm sorry it took me so long to answer

that's the problem, i see consequences of my actions in very much black and white way. as I learnt from my counselor it's because of trauma. and I know I need to unlearn it because most people, as you said, are more forgiving than I am to myself and they are adults. but I still deep down fear that they are going to leave me like when my friends left when we were kids.

ooooh that's very interesting!! I get how you feel, I think, because I often blurt stuff out even without wanting to, that would be really rude, it seems, in that culture. I feel like polish people are really defensive and we are expected to be though. so it's like, if you'd point out someone's flaw, they would, on average, take it as an attack and attack you back. but also our way of shielding our insecurities is to bargain who has it worse. I feel like that's where the stereotype of main trait of polish people being complaining comes from. so I kind feel like I should stay in my lane and not get into people's lives as long as they don't invite me to. I don't want to overstep because I know that if I get involved I want to with my whole being. again, i dislike doing something halfway, it needs to be 1 or 0, black or white :/

thank you so much for the advice 🥹 I love you too

I'll try making myself ask questions, even if I feel like I'm not allowed to ask anyone for anything ever. nad I try get the feel to not ask questions that may make someone uncomfortable, another fear of mine

[elpida]

"Arthur Shelby did not make me do anything I did not want to do.. do I really strike you as someone that gets pushed into decisions?" she asks, only when she's sat and he's dabbing over her face with that wet towel. She didn't move a muscle, didn't flinch, anything.. she just stayed remarkably still for him. Those injuries, though little looked sore on her flesh. "My boss won't accept that, he's.." she sighs a little. "My responsibility so nothing else matters. It's almost like you expect me to not care for my job... Thomas I may dress well, but that doesn't mean like any other person, I'm not relying on my job. We don't all have your luxury at hand do we. I'm sorry if it offends you that I'm not more nonchalant regarding it." her shoulders drop, more tension leaving her. "I like my job. It isn't easy finding a serious job, I'd be a terrible bar maid or fucking.. make up counter girl. Never paid late, never any bother." her face drops, this distant sadness because in some way she did wish that was her life, truth be she hd to look like she cared for that job, no normal person wouldn't.. but Eris did have money, to sat on it, kept it hidden and safe, enjoyed luxuries nobody would see or question. "A girl has to eat, Mr Shelby. I can't lose my means of doing so and no, Arthur truly did not drag me.. he saw me, unable to decide whether I should even step foot inside the building, pacing and decided to help me on my way than leave me stood outside with every eye on the street wondering why I look like I've committed a crime." because she had.

"No." there was nobody too find.. and then she paused, acted like she mulled it over... that? Him finding who did it when there was nobody to find? That'd give her reason to come here and see him would it not? "I take that back. Yes. I would. I would like you to find who did this, and I want them to pay." there was no sarcasm, no playful tone. She meant it. She meant every single word. She had revenge in her eyes, she craved it, she knew the flavour of it on my tongue. "I want to know their names, I'll take the revenge myself if you wont, but names. How much for you to find that out?" laughable, finding people was her speciality, the little wraith that nobody escaped.

"I suppose you can't accept that I'm here, simply because I'm not scared of you." Eris' brown hues were looking up at him, her body language was relaxed, she wasn't tense.. she didn't fear that he was trying to help her, she knew that as truth. "I've known so many people, so willing to ruin my life, to make it a danger... and if you think what I feel near you is danger, then I must have given you every wrong idea of what it is I feel Mr Shelby, and I am.. sorry. That is on me, that is something I find difficult but you saying you'd ruin my life? Well do your worst. Go ahead and do your worst, nothing would be as bad as never knowing and hey—" Eris wanted to belivee that what she was about to say, wasn't the truth.. but it was. "..maybe you'll be the one that finally does a good enough job of ruining my life, enough so that I don't find a way to piece myself back together. Do you think you can do that? I'd rather not have to claw my way back out by tooth and nails, if you're going to break me, then do a fucking good job of it already."

She pushed herself to stand, her hand moving to her head because no, she wasn't exactly okay, she was just forcing herself to pretend to be... but she really should not spend the day in work. Her downfall was that she worked far too hard, pushed far too much when it came to expectations of herself. "And— and if you don't think I was scared? Look at me.. look at me and tell me, why would I not be? Why would I not have been scared? I did not come to you for shelter.. I came to you for help because I thought, you might be the–... you might be the one person I'd trust enough to ask for it, but forget it. Forget it, I'm better on my fucking own anyway. This is all a load of horse shit." There it was, the push back, the get out before she said too much. She was up on her feet and making move for the door but what wasn't fake, was the wobble in her heels, the way she reaches for the door frame quickly. She had taken a hit to her head, it's how she got the small cut in her hairline, that wasn't fake, there was nothing fake about how she was trying to hide it all, push it all under her mask but maybe, she just couldn't hide enough from him. He'd seen her dance in the rain like a carefree spirit, now he'd see how she was when she felt she was under a raining cloud, followed by it.

The sound of his name rolling from his brothers lips before he entered sounded somehow unusual, but still Tommy didn’t even raise his chin to look up behind his desk and waved him off with a cigarette burning in his hand. “I said… not now. What the fuck is so hard for you to…” And then he saw her and immediately swallowed the rest of his words. “Eris.” A low mumble of her name that shouldn’t be heard from her slipped from his mouth and made him put out his cigarette in the ashtray before it was even half down. With a serious gaze he approached his brother first, his eyes letting Arthur know that they would definitely have a talk about this later. For now his focus was on Eris though and the way she looked like someone messed her up pretty bad.

Hearing she was scared and the rest of her nervous babbling was unusual though, cause Tommy had never thought of her being a sensitive woman. And her job? Was she really so insecure about keeping it? “What the fuck are you talking about?” Deserving this? In Tommy’s eyes no woman deserved this and it made him speechless that she would even word it that way. “Come. I can bring you to that job and tell your boss it’s my fault and that I occupied you for too long. But first…” He gestured with his head towards the door. “…let’s fix up that pretty face of yours, even if in my opinion you wouldn’t need it.”

Gently he placed his hand on her back to make her walk out the door first and led her to the bathroom close to his office where he let her sit down on the armchair in the corner. Without a word he grabbed a towel and poured some water over it before turning around to her and kneeling down. It was like he waited for her approval to lift it up to her face so she wouldn’t be surprised by his touch, but as he noticed she was calm he wiped the fabric over the stains on her face and didn’t allow his expression to change. How long was it again since they saw each other? “I must admit I am surprised your way has led you here. Is it really because you were scared or because my brother dragged you here? I apologize if that is the case, Miss Amorello. I told him it should be your choice to see me again and now… I can’t help to feel like it was a forced decision.” Didn’t he make himself clear last time? Why would anyone seek shelter with him when he was the one he warned her about? Shouldn’t she feel unsafer here?

“It looks alright though. Nothing that needs stitches or anything.” But she probably knew that already, didn’t she? With a deep breath he raised again and threw the towel into the sink before he rested his back against it and crossed his arms. “I guess you don’t want me to find the person who did that to you and punish them for it, do you? What makes me wonder… why are you here? Did I not make myself clear last time?” There it was: his high defensive wall he brought up whenever someone threatened to mean something to him. “After what I told you, you cannot think that a man like me brings shelter, or do you really carry so much fear inside of you all of the sudden, Eris? Cause it didn’t seem like that when…” His voice broke off and for a moment he had to look at the floor to collect his thoughts. “When I saw you last time.”

[moo-nstone]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT. 7

gemini and pisces placements are similar in the sense that geminis are able to see things from all perspectives, while pisces are able to empathise with people who have all sorts of different perspectives. pisces placements... be careful with over-empathising with the people who hurt you to the point where you’re understanding why they did it and you start excusing their actions. gemini placements... be careful with seeking the multi-layers and million different perspectives in everything and everyone to the point where you’re driving your own mind insane and you don’t know what your opinion is anymore because you hyper-analyse so much. too much of a good ability becomes a curse.

people with venus-mars aspects have a talent for making people who hate them fall in love with them 💋

moon in the 11th house natives tend to attract friends who get into scandals. moon in the 10th house natives tend to be the ones who get into said scandals. it’s a PERFECT FRIENDSHIP

capricorn placements have a talent for knowing how to make things last. they want to prolong the enjoyment they get out of something for as long as possible, which is why their hobbies, friendships and relationships tend to last a lifetime... hedonistic sluts

since both the 7th house and the 11th house rule fandoms, celebrities with a 7th house or 11th house neptune can attract fans who view them as angels who can’t do nothing wrong — because of this, those celebrities rarely take accountability for their mistakes, since people keep pushing the “but they’re perfect :(“ light on them

pluto conjunct ascendant natives always come off as very serious during first impressions, no matter how approachable and inviting they strive to appear.

sun and moon in the 10th house people may feel as if they’re always exposed to the public eye, they can’t get away with keeping things secretive. others always notice whatever they want kept on the low. this can be especially frustrating if they notice that others aren’t exposed to the same kind of scrutiny that they are for simply existing

lilith in pisces bitches have a natural talent for appearing like angels even in situations where they are 100% guilty. it’s very easy for them to put on their vulnerable, lost puppy act lmfao, which triggers others’ protective instincts. they may be able to cry on cue when people call them out on their bullshit, making them feel like THEY’re the shitty ones for confronting the lilith native... it’s insane

lilith in the 12th house natives may feel as though the themes of lilith are trapped in their psyche, at the core of who they are and those themes become unavoidable for them — they’re always there, lurking in the shadows, becoming the center of their nightmares

people with mercury in the 1st house can feel veryyy threatened and defensive when someone possesses knowledge in an area that they don’t, it’s like it hits them right on their biggest fears. they often either try to “one-up” the other person in an attempt to heal their broken ego or shut down altogether in insecurity. it’s imperative that they work on developing a strong sense of self-worth because they can be extremely prone to comparing their mental skills to those of other people.

people with personal planets in the 12th house may feel as though a lot of their artistic drive is stifled by their lack of energy. like... in the mental realm there’s a lot going on and it’s incredible, but then you pick up a pen to actualize your visions and you feel exhaustion immediately overtaking you. it can feel like there’s a lot to your psyche that feels inaccessible to you not because you don’t want to explore it, but because you have yet to restore the energy to dive deep into it. this can be especially noticeable if there’s absolutely no 5th house energy in the chart

people with jupiter in an earth sign love being surrounded by greeneries in their home; they may take a lot of enjoyment out of taking care of plants, gardening, cooking and stuff of the sort. it makes them feel more grounded, independent, and even healed. they also LOVE scents that connect them to nature like the scent of grass and the ocean.

air mercuries can be very beware of strangers, they can feel offended when their friends make them socialize with someone they don’t know and it can take a hot while before they trust the person enough to lower their defences a bit. they need to know it’s safe before expressing their usual sexy eccentric selves in front of someone new. on the other hand, aries placements can also hate being introduced to new people through their friends but it’s mostly because they’re very territorial over them, and can’t stand the thought that this new person can hurt their friendship in any possible way

meanwhile, it’s probably an earth or leo/sagittarius mercury introducing new friends to the group. they’re so fucking good with people and it shows in how they make people feel welcomed so easily, it’s like they “take” the person in and adopt them into the group. they can’t stand seeing someone being treated like an outcast because they know how it sucks to feel rejected, so they’ll try their best to make you feel included

while on the subject of people who hate seeing others be treated like an outcast because they know how it feels like to be rejected: SCORPIO RISINGS. bro. people underestimate how chill they can actually be. if they see you being left out, they’ll approach you with no fucks given and do anything in their power to make you feel comfortable. they do so well in group settings.

and while on the subject of scorpio risings... i have a scorpio rising friend and he goes thru it on the daily. he often complains that people are always suspicious of him and that they seem repulsed by him, strangers on the street will stay tf away from him. and it’s so heartbreaking because his personality is so friendly and welcoming and it doesn’t at all match his intimidating appearance. scorpio risings have this energy that not many people can handle, others feel either really drawn to them or downright scared of them because of the “danger” element they seem to carry in them

i know two people who are both scorpio suns and libra moons and they look the exact same, even though they have different risings. brown, deep-set eyes, coarse dark hair, naturally tanner skin tone — and they have the same style as well, using lots of band t-shirts and dark clothing. scorpio energy is always so noticeable wherever it is i swear, it’s like it takes over the rest of the chart

gemini moons are what yall claim gemini venuses to be. like, seriously... have you ever met someone with a gemini venus? they don’t need constant stimulation or else they’ll get bored and cheat. not in the slightest; actually, they’re often incredibly loyal and crave longterm, committed relationships. if anything, they need stimulation outside of their relationship in the form of a good, exciting career and hobbies so that they don’t get too addicted to their partner and to constantly analysing every aspect of their relationship. gemini moons however, tend to have multiple partners throughout life and they often feat deep commitment. they can be huge players imo, IT’S THEM YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT!

sagittarius placements are so... tactile? like, they love to touch things. when they go to stores and stuff, they’ll start holding everything that catches their attention— it’s like they can only decide if they want to buy something after thouroughly exploring how it feels, the texture and the energy that the object gives them through touch. and they talk so much with their hands. it makes me so anxious like bitch you aren’t selena gomez, i promise you that you CAN keep your hands to yourself

taurus placements are so weird to me, i can’t understand them. it’s like they’re afraid of exploring their own depths, which in turn makes me unable to explore them. okay, how do i put this... it’s like they have this preset idea of who they are and after deciding so, they’re unwilling to let go of it. “i’m the stable friend who’s here for everyone even when i can barely take care of my own self” and then that’s who they are: the people who are a steady rock in the lives of others, taking care of everyone. and then they refuse to change even after getting hurt. and then, it’s like... well, you can’t just be that. you are a human who contains multitudes, but i don’t think you give yourself enough credit on how layered you are. that fear of changeability, that need to be the one stable thing in a world full of unpredictability will only damage you in the end, because you won’t get to fully experience life’s greatest pleasure: knowing yourself. becoming your own best friend, exploring every layer that there is to your being. i think you deny yourself of that experience because you fear that, with self-learning comes self-growth which leads to transformation. and you fear transformation because you don’t want to change for the worst. but like... transformation is necessary and with that comes adaptability + flexibility, which are things you could greatly benefit from.

scorpio venuses can be so pessimistic— and when they’re in a dark mindset, it’s so difficult to pull them out of it. it’s so difficult to get them to see the good in difficult situations, and to help them believe that it gets better. but even if you don’t believe me, i’ll keep telling you; it does get better. you’ll get through this.

jupiter in the 4th house is an indicator of food having been an amazing part of your childhood; there might’ve been a lot of feasts and you could’ve had a parent who loved to cook. being well fed might be a huge concern for you now; you might get sick easily when you’re eating fast food and non-traditional plates.

mercury square uranus is an extremely difficult aspect to have because, in your earlier years, you might’ve felt dumb or like there was something wrong with your intelligence because you might’ve found school difficult due to it’s structured nature that didn’t fit with the way you like to learn things— you need to learn in an interactive way that piques your interest. your anxiety and any traumatic experienced that you faced could’ve heavily impacted your school performance. you might’ve had an ease with learning but then, when it came to doing the written tests, you couldn’t perform to the best of your abilities. either way, school might’ve been a source of a lot of stress and difficulty.

mercury square pluto can have some weird manifestation where, like... you suspect things but you always suspect the wrong things. i’ve met a few people with this aspect and all of them were extremely suspicious of the most random things who were literally normal and innocent. this aspect can cause a lot of chaos to one’s interpersonal relationships because you might find yourself suspecting your loved ones in the weirdest circumstances due to your trust issues, which in return causes them to lose trust in you + the want to confide in you because you keep questioning everything they’re up to WHEN THEY’RE NOT UP TO ANYTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE. probably the most frustrating thing that can happen with this aspect is when you always suspect what you shouldn’t, but then, when sketchy things are actually happening that should be questioned, you don’t bat an eye to it. omfg it drives me insane

moon conjunct the ascendant can make someone have a very delicate appearance that gives others the impression that they need to handle you like fine china or else you might break. my mother has this at a very tight orb and whenever i bring people over, their first impression of her is always “she looks so frail”. the native might be extremely sensitive to every minor inconvenience which brings a lot of frustration to them, a feeling that they can’t control their reactions and inner turmoil. it can also suck when you don’t want to be depicted as the victim but then that’s the way everyone perceives you. the native might have very expressive and shiny eyes, and they can cry easily. it’s very difficult for them to hide their emotions.

your jupiter sign can signify where you feel an overflow of energy. jupiter in cancer may feel like you have an overflow of nurturing and protective energy towards your loved ones, with a lot of intuition and need for introspection. jupiter in leo can make you feel like you a talent for self-expression and dealing with others, being overly dramatic and prideful at times, and with a huge drive to have fun. jupiter in virgo can feel an overflow of perceptive qualities, with a huge amount of self-awareness and also awareness of your surroundings, ability to constantly analyse and a constant strive for perfection (which btw is impossible since perfection is unattainable and you’re a human being who makes mistakes and that’s completely fine. stop finding flaws where there aren’t none).

[qqueenofhades]

1of 3) feel free to ignore this, but I'm doing Dracula Daily (never read it before) and I have a lot of feelings/thoughts and seeing as you've read it, I hope you don't mind if I rant a bit. I really want to shake Van Helsing until he starts telling people stuff. Like I can kind of get him not wanting to tell Seward that it's a vampire so he doesn't seem crazy and get institutionalized, but at some point, he should have told him anyway, or just made it clear that Lucy needs watching every night

2of3) and not just depend on telegrams/letters to tell him to watch her. But then she dies, and still instead of telling anyone what's going on, he just tells Seward that he needs to get him some surgeon tools so he can remove her head and heart (because talking about needlessly (at least to Seward) removing body parts of a corpse makes way more sense then mentioning a vampire and definitely makes him seem sane). He even talks about how they need to work together as one and need trust, of 3) and it's like my dude, have you even once considered how much easier it may be for people to work together with you as one, to trust you when you need it, if they have even a slight hint of what's going on? Personally if someone asks me to do something odd/hard/weird etc. I'm much more likely to do it, or at least complain less, if I know the reason besides a 'I'm so-and-so and you should do what I say' reason. Again, sorry for the rant.

Hush now. Of course I am delighted that people have so many feelings about a 19th-century classic horror novel that they want to come shout in my inbox about it! This is exactly why I love Dracula Daily as a concept, and think it's really clever. Everyone kind of.... already knows Dracula by cultural osmosis (he's a vampire! He has a swoopy dark cloak and he can turn into a bat! He sneaks around and Vants to Suck Your Blud!) but they are discovering they don't actually know many details about the text, and that modern adaptations have often totally slaughtered it in the aims of making it Sexy or otherwise introducing themes/readings that are not necessarily present in the original. So yes, I have read Dracula before, but I'm still really enjoying seeing the way Tumblr has gone ape for it and are all indignantly signing up for the Lucy Westenra and Mina Murray Defense Squad and drawing fanart and making memes and dropping casual references to the "polycule" and so forth. Yes.

Anyway, I wrote this post the other day discussing how everyone's over-reliance on traditional social conventions, and trying to follow the rules of how to be Good Victorians, has totally fucked them over. The whole point of what's going on is that they all keep trying to act like it's a normal situation and they need to be Decorous and Proper and Not Alarm Anyone, and like... that's the exact sort of thing Dracula feeds on (literally and metaphorically). Because he's weaponizing their extreme middle-class Victorian Englishness against them, where they can't talk to each other and they can't discuss how they feel and they can't be honest, all for fear of Offending Protocol, they're screwed. They can't coordinate, they can't do anything that might long-term help, and there is of course an interesting subtextual queer reading here, considering that Bram Stoker is universally considered to have been a repressed gay man who hid/denied his sexuality and lived in, to say the least, an openly homophobic society. Whether or not it was his primary intention to portray the rules of Good Victorian Behavior not working and instead actually actively harming people by forcing them to keep secrets and not trust that anyone else will believe them, it's an unavoidable theme in the text and one that a modern reader definitely picks up on with the benefit of hindsight.

Also, I think it's important to highlight that despite his 84 PhDs (of course he's a lawyer as well as a doctor) and generally being the book-smartest person in the story, Van Helsing has, at this point, comprehensively failed. He hasn't saved Lucy's life, he hasn't prevented her from turning into a vampire, he hasn't warned anyone else about what's really going on, he hasn't prevented Mrs. Westenra from being frightened to death, he hasn't told Arthur (poor Arthur!!!) anything about why he wouldn't even let him kiss his fiancee as she was dying, etc. And a huge part of this is because, as you point out, he hasn't told anyone anything. Van Helsing has often been narratively paralleled to Dracula, which I think is accurate: he is solely in charge of Lucy's health, as Dracula is the sole reason for hurting it. He tries to control Lucy, he tries to keep her loved ones in the dark, he tries to basically "have" her for himself -- all in the name of helping her, yes, but his treatment is just as ineffective as Dracula's assault is effective. Van Helsing means all the best, but he's kind of fucked it up!

And yes, the primary reason he's doing so is because he thinks that he alone is smart enough to solve the problem, he can't let anyone else onto his plans (even when Quincey strolled in, took one look, and was like "oh yeah this was like the time the vampire bit my horse" and asked the OBVIOUS FUCKING QUESTION of where all of Lucy's blood was going!) and he otherwise is the Only One. Just like Dracula's pride, arrogance, solitude, stubbornness, and insistence that his will/choices for Lucy are the only ones that matters, Van Helsing is doing the same thing, from the opposite side of the coin. That's why his methods can't possibly work to counteract Dracula and (as we will see in the latter half of the novel) they need to comprehensively rethink their entire strategy and discard all the old social rules and worry for "decorum" that has kept them from being honest with each other so far. But yes, we love us a good hero/villain narrative foil with the same flaws and the same methods. Which is what is definitely going on here. Because things such as Mrs. Westenra removing the garlic flowers happen because Van Helsing didn't even tell her that they were medicinal (you have one million doctorates, Abraham, make up a scholarly bullshit reason!)

So yes, as I said, and as we will see in upcoming entries, Following The Good Victorian Rules has fucked everyone over HARD, Van Helsing is acting like Dracula while trying to fix Dracula's damage and that's why it isn't working, and our heroes are going to need to have a comprehensive rethink of what they're doing and why, if they want to stop any of this in time. Dun dun dunnn!

[yasmindifference]

if ur still doing the title meme, "suffer with my ghost." make me cry plz

Okay anon, from the title+request for tears, I assume you were hoping for some character death here. Unfortunately that's not the way I roll, so instead I offer a different kind of angst:

A scenario where Jason is working with the Bats on...let's say friendlyish terms. They're a long way from BFF and he is very quick to shoot down any kind of indication from Bruce or Dick that they consider him family, but they're cooperating for the sake of Gotham.

Only thing is, Tim doesn't seem willing to play.

He never speaks out against Jason working with them. He even seems to indirectly support it; he'll turn up some piece of intel that might be relevant and mention that someone should pass it on to Red Hood, or he'll reference Jason having something covered when they're splitting up work, or whatever. But despite these regular shows of trust(?), Tim will not actually work with Jason himself.

Oh, he's subtle about it. There's always a really good reason he speaks up and assigns himself somewhere far away from Jason whenever Batman's passing out team-up assignments. It's not like he says or even hints that he's unwilling to partner up with Jason.

It's just that they're a bunch of frickin detectives, so yeah, everyone picks up what he's carefully not laying down. Tim is not willing to play nice.

And, okay. Jason has an attitude problem, they've all experienced it. And yes, he's crossed a lot of lines in the past. But he's working with them now, he's playing nice, and Tim's refusal to meet in the middle is hindering their effectiveness and also risking their alliance, because it's not like Jason's missed that Tim is very carefully avoiding him.

So Bruce starts trying to put his foot down and force Tim to partner with Jason, because this is never gonna get settled if Tim keeps weaseling his way out of even being in the same room as Jason. Unfortunately, Tim is a world-class weasel-er and keeps managing to slip off to other, totally legitimate and very important work before Bruce can get a word in. Tim's tricky that way.

It gets to the point that Bruce and Dick are honestly annoyed by Tim's unwillingness to cooperate. Working with people you don't like is honestly just part of life and Tim is being downright childish; it's extremely frustrating.

So the next time there's a team-up, no one gives Tim a chance to speak. Dick physically covers his mouth while Bruce jumps right into saying "Tim, you'll be partnered with Jason" before even telling anyone what the plan they're teaming up to enact is. He's counting on Tim, who's thus far been very subtle about avoiding Jason, being unwilling to make a scene with Jason right there.

....But he's counting incorrectly, because when Dick lets Tim go, Tim flat-out refuses. It's not happening.

Jason's offended by this frankly rude rejection, and says so. Bruce is annoyed at Tim's disobedience, and snaps at him. And Dick is at his wits' end with everyone in this clusterfuck of a family, so he brings up the 'childish' argument.

Tim waits until they're done, then very coldly points out that the issue du jour is that Scarecrow is out of Arkham. Scarecrow. AKA the guy who frequently exposes people to chemicals that make them hallucinate their worst fears. It's therefore tactically unsound for Tim to work with Jason, because he won't be able to tell the difference between Jason and any potential hallucinations.

The implication there is that Jason is one of Tim's worst fears. To a degree that he expects to see him when exposed to fear toxin.

Everyone is horrified, Jason most of all. They're also shocked, and Tim is openly disdainful about this.

Jason, as he reminds them, has tried to kill him more than once. Jason openly hates him. Jason regularly insults him using the same terminology he applied before the murder attempts. Jason has all the height, weight, and training advantages. Tim has never beaten Jason in a real fight.

Of course Tim is terrified of Jason. He'd be a moron not to be.

His piece said, Tim slips away to go fight Scarecrow not at the side of a man he's likely to hallucinate under the effects of fear toxin. It takes Bruce and Dick quite a while to follow.

Jason doesn't go out that night. He's a little busy hating himself.

[tarydarrington]

It’s only a murmur at first. One more of the Mighty Nein has married, with a small but beautiful wedding in the Menagerie Coast. The Bright Queen is mildly offended to have been both uninformed and uninvited - particularly after the same offense had been given by both the Lavorres and the Nydoorins - but sends her regards, nevertheless. Then the curious part makes its way through the grapevine into Xhorhas. For Caleb Widogast had always been almost overly friendly with the late Shadowhand, and all the whispers name his new husband Essek.

It’s absurd, of course - Shadowhand Essek perished in the Astral Sea years ago. The Mighty Nein had given the tearful report themselves, and what reason had they to lie? His replacement had made sure, regardless; scrying had turned up no trace. But the Dynasty is nothing if not thorough, and so the first Taskhand to volunteer finds himself far away from home with a mystery to solve.

The rumors get clearer the closer he gets to the Nein’s favorite haunts. The Taskhand’s heart skips a beat the first time someone suggests the mysterious husband is indeed a drow, and is surprised that most others he asks confirm it.

He gets nothing from the Blooming Grove. It’s difficult to tell whether the firbolg, the aasimar, and the tiefling are playing dumb or not playing at all, though he suspects it’s a mix of the two. They run him in circles with intentional misunderstandings, and he writes them off as a lost cause at the end of two days.

The Lavorres are even less helpful, though this time he’s absolutely certain it’s on purpose.

He goes to the monk, next; he wrings out of the others that she spends most of her time at the Cobalt Soul in Rexxentrum these days, and from there it’s easy enough to track down her home and wait there. She rolls her eyes when he explains his business, but agrees to let him question her as she sits down for dinner.

“It’s a common name,” she says through a mouthful of food, when he brings up the coincidence.

“It really isn’t,” the Taskhand replies.

She shrugs. “You know I met a guy named Bo once? That was pretty weird.” She pauses to chew for a moment. “Cause my name’s Beau.” Before he can press further, she waves a dismissive hand in his direction. “Listen, man, I met the Shadowhand and I know Caleb’s husband. Definitely not the same guy. Trust me.”

She points him with a heavy sigh in the direction of the Brenattos, whose brand new apothecary is nestled into a bright little street in Nicodranas. A grinning little boy answers the door, but is quickly shuffled behind a pair of stone-faced halflings. He begins the same way as he had with the others, but gets not even so far as his first question before finding a crossbow aimed directly between the eyes.

None of it is enough. He will get no information from these people, and it isn’t worth getting shot to try. What he needs, in the end, is to find Caleb Widogast, himself.

The Taskhand considers waiting there. By all accounts, the man and Veth Brenatto are close as friends can be, and he’s almost guaranteed to find him if he waits here long enough. But he’s itchy to find what he can as quickly as possible, and instead he asks around some more.

It isn’t easy. The leads almost always take him either nowhere, or to yet another cryptic clue in this odd scavenger hunt. The wizard in Nicodranas claims not to have seen him in years, despite assurances from the local courtesan that he had been seen entering the tower not a month ago. A shopkeep in Zadash runs him around for nearly an hour before at last admitting that he has no information, but would the Taskhand like to buy a potion anyway?

Then, at last, by chance, he sees him. Passing through the town of Trostenwald on the word of a guard in Alfield, he passes by a red-haired wizard in the market, speaking with a Zemnian accent and wearing a ring on his finger.

“Caleb Widogast?”

The man turns, surprise and apprehension on his face as he takes in the Taskhand’s armor. Nothing too conspicuous in the heart of the Empire, but clearly of Rosohna to those who know what to look for.  The helmet must be the most intimidating part of it, even without the usual beetle-like shape.

The Taskhand bows. “I have business with you, on behalf of the Bright Queen.”

Caleb shows him to a little, nondescript house on a little, nondescript street. It seems his aversion to revealing his hiding place is outweighed by his desire to have this conversation somewhere private. With the door firmly locked behind them, Caleb sets about drawing a teleportation circle on the floor as they speak. A tactic to draw the Taskhand’s attention away from his reactions, perhaps?

“Your husband.” No reason not to get to the point.

Caleb’s fingers catch in their pattern for just the shortest instant, but it’s enough to catch the Taskhand’s attention. “Ja, what about him?”

“Word has reached the dynasty that he may be someone of interest.” He clasps both hands behind him, clutching his own fingers a bit too tightly. “Someone we were told was no longer with us in this life.”

Caleb tilts his head a moment, as though trying to remember something. “Ah,” he says at last. “The Shadowhand, you mean. No, he is not.”

The Taskhand arches an eyebrow. “Is he present?” he asks. “I would like to meet him for myself before returning to the Bright Queen.”

“Ah, no,” Caleb says apologetically. “He did not accompany me to the city.”

“Where is he, then?”

Caleb’s fingers drum against the wood floor. “He has business elsewhere, I did not ask.”

The Taskhand moves to stand across the circle from Caleb. “I’m very curious,” he says, “where did you meet a drow outside of Xhorhas?”

Caleb looks up, brow furrowed in what might be warning. “I am pretty well traveled,” he says. “There are not many drow outside of your country, but that does not mean there are none.”

The Taskhand hums. “I have heard that this particular drow is a dunamancer,” he says. A little white lie, but it catches Caleb’s attention.

“No,” he says firmly. “Your sources are mistaken.”

The Taskhand takes another step forward. “I don’t believe they are.” He leans down, watching the discomfort in Caleb’s posture grow with every second. The Taskhand gestures to the ring on his finger. “I think it would be in your best interest to stop lying.”

Without warning, Caleb’s hands flash away from the circle on the floor and towards him, magic buzzing angrily in the air.

“Wait!”

Something about his tone must have rung in just the right way, as Caleb’s hands freeze. Carefully, slowly, as though trying not to frighten off a stray cat, the Taskhand lifts off his helmet.

Caleb’s eyes scan his face for only a moment before his eyes widen. “You are…” His eyes catch on the slope of his nose, the lavender of his eyes, the angle of his cheekbones.

“Verin Thelyss.” He bows his head in greeting.

Caleb’s hands fall to his side, and he makes a weak little sound of acknowledgement before nodding himself. “Well, that is a surprise.”

Verin weighs the words on his tongue, running through every practical question he’s been told to ask, every ounce of professionalism he’s expected to uphold. “He’s spoken of me, then?” he asks instead.

Caleb nods silently. The conflict is written plainly on his face. The two of them don’t know each other, aside from whatever Essek has told him. He has no reason to believe that Verin won’t sell out his own brother. He’s under orders to do just that, after all, and the twinge of guilt hasn’t left his chest since he got here.

But… despite it all, it’s Essek. His brother. His blood. It might not mean much to Essek, but it does to him. He tucks the helmet under his arm and bows his head again.

“You have nothing to fear from me,” he says with all the confidence he can muster. “But I think we should speak.” He chances a glance back up at Caleb, and lets the slightest grin tug at the side of his mouth. “We are brothers, after all, yes?”

[dodo-begone]

Crotch Goblins

Pairing: Purpled x Reader, Ranboo x Reader, Tommy x Reader, Tubbo x Reader

Request: wait would it be cringe if i like. requested your take on the yandere kids

Word Count: 1.6K

Warning: yandere, fighting mentioned, stalking, fear of abandonment, anxiety, stealing, kidnapping, the egg

A/N: This is all platonic! Nothing romantic.

Ranboo

This poor child lives in constant fear of forgetting you. His memory issues are a big problem and it affects everybody he loves. And his anxiety definitely doesn’t help his situation; it only feeds his paranoia of losing you.

To prevent losing any precious memories of you, he’ll write down so much about you. He’d probably have books on books just dedicated to things about you he wants to remember. Another way to always remember you is to never be away from you! It’s much harder to forget somebody if you’re constantly around them!

If you allow it, he’ll fucking cling to you. He loves the attention and reassurance you give him. Aw yeah he's a poor memory boy and constantly scared of Dream and enderwalking. Please stay by him??? Pretty please??

He’ll occasionally come over to your house in search of your company. Though he won’t tell you that directly. It’ll be under the pretense that he’s very scared of something happening and wanted to stay with you for some comfort. Not all of that’s a lie though. He always goes to you when he’s anxious; you’re his safe place. You make everything right and good again. You found it rather endearing that he trusted and liked you so much. Baked treats would always be on standby for his visits.

He’ll occasionally come over to your house in search of your company. Though he won’t tell you that directly. It’ll be under the pretense that he’s very scared of something happening and wanted to stay with you for some comfort. Not all of that’s a lie though. He always goes to you when he’s anxious; you’re his safe place. You make everything right and good again. You found it rather endearing that he trusted and liked you so much. Baked treats would always be on standby for his visits.

He’ll slowly start to stay at your house for longer and come back quicker. Soon he’s practically living with you. You’re not bothered by it at first, and you don’t think about it after a while. The domesticity of the situation just feels right. Why would you disrupt something like this?? And he deserves some of this. After all, the dsmp isn’t a nice place, and especially not to Ranboo. Why don’t you just let him have this?

Tommy

Tommy lives in constant fear of you abandoning him. Or worse, having someone take you from him. He’s lost so many loved ones already, and he doesn’t know how many more he can live through. You’re one of his most prized possessions, besides Tubbo and the Disks. Above Tubbo, but a close contender with the disks.

He’s gonna be clingy af. And he’ll do anything you want him to. By that, he really means anything he thinks you’d want him to do or something that’s “necessary”. Overall it’s just bad stuff. Be prepared for some warfare to happen just for you.

No thought, only fighting. Fights will break out over the silliest things. Like he wants attention from you? Fight! Someone getting too close?? Begone thot!! This is his friend! Not theirs! Back off.

After every fight, you’ll bandage his wounds while lecturing him. Not a single thing you say will be properly heard by Tommy. Your words would slur together in his ears, turning themselves into a beautiful song. Did you know your voice sounds really good? Oh yeah, you make the pain go away so quickly too. Your medical skills are just so fucking good, can’t you see?

There will be no question that he’d steal for you; he’d do it without question or request. If he finds anything that you might like or need? Yoinked as soon as the old owner isn’t looking. Finders keepers, after all. The smp is a dog-eat-dog world. And you deserve the fucking best shit man. If you find out it’s stolen, you’d return it in a heartbeat with so many apologies. You somehow found it somewhere and you didn’t know it was theirs. Wow you must like Tommy if you’re covering for him like that!

You’d be dragged around by Tommy on some days. All a grand tour to show you his creations, and he begrudgingly shows you some of the builds by the others. He feels somewhat inadequate when he eventually shows you his stuff. Like his multiple cobblestone towers. But you’re giving such nice compliments for each one. And they’re all so unique too. No two compliments are the same. He is a really good builder, huh?

Tubbo

He’s going to be protective of you. Not overbearingly so, but definitely is watching out for your safety a ton. With him having watched the lives of those he loves fall apart around them, he doesn’t want the same fate to fall upon you. He can’t go through that cycle again, and especially so soon. You’re so nice too. You definitely don’t deserve that fate.

Micheal took a liking to you really quickly. If Micheal likes you, that means that you’re a part of the family. He doesn’t care what you have to say, it’s just facts. You have a problem with it? Try bringing that up to Micheal. Want to tell him that you aren’t a part of the family? Exactly. So that means that you are a member.

Oh and you help him so much, which he’s thankful for. And it’s not just to a specific type of task either. You help with everything. Building, cooking, caring for Micheal, the whole biz. With you doing so much and putting so much effort into everything, that must mean that you love him like he loves you, right? Nobody does this much for somebody else without loving them. So the obvious answer is that you love him back!

Will do anything in his power to convince you to move in with him, Ranboo and Micheal. Like really hard. He pulled all of the charms and stops. And there’s a very slim chance that you didn’t move in. Though you would eventually. There isn’t a chance in hell that you wouldn’t be living in that house by some point. You’d be moving in with or without your consent. Maybe one day you just woke up in the mansion. Oh hey why do you look so confused? You agreed to move in already silly, don’t you remember?

There’s no and, if, or buts about it; he’d get Ranboo in on it also if he wasn’t already. They’re platonically married after all. And the three of you are all friends. So it’s obvious that Ranboo would be in on it as well. If he isn’t, then he’d turn a blind eye to Tubbo’s behavior. Huh, yeah he didn’t notice that at all. Nope, nothing odd happening here.

Would absolutely get you to help him on every little task that he could. Especially with building and taking care of little Micheal. The builds would be little cottage core stuff. Such sweet and quaint things. Not too much or too hard, but very pleasing to the eyes and the feeling of accomplishment the two of you got at the end of the project felt incredible. Children can be such a handful too, so any help for Micheal will be much appreciated. Plus it’s so much fun to play with children, especially children in Micheal’s age group. The more time you spend with them, the less time you have to spend with anyone else. Which leads to a smaller chance of being taken from them.

Purpled

This man? Oh he’s so fucking happy that you and him don’t have many relations outside of each other. It’s so much easier for you two. Since you two are so close, it’s easy to coerce you into living with him. Yeah it may be far from the rest of the smp, but that’s okay. It’s not like you had any friends there. It’s easier to stay safer so far away from everything. And you know what’s even better? Nobody would even notice y’all disappear!

Before y’all moved away, he always conveniently showed up at random times. It was always during times when you were alone or felt alone. Really helped you there; made you feel loved that somebody noticed and was there for you. Though it was odd how often he appeared at just the right moment. You wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth though.

He always knows what to get you. What your favorite flowers are, what food you like, what your favorite color is, your favorite gift items. He even knows your dislikes. Even the ones you don’t tell him. You know, anything a good friend would know.

If somebody even remotely offends/scares/harms you, they’re in fucking trouble. That? Yeah, that’s a valid reason to start a fight. He’ll beat them within an inch of their life and threaten to do it again if they even thought of hurting you like that. >:( Definitely got them to stop talking to you.

Since he’s working for the egg, he feels like the egg could maybe protect you?? Yeah he’s not completely under its control and he sees how crazy the other members of the eggpire are, but it can’t be that bad. The others are just praising it, talking about how it could make all of his deepest desires a reality. Not many people like going to the egg, and they wouldn’t be looking for prisoners there. So it should be safe for you. Well, safer than the outside world. And his deepest desire is your safety and love, so that should be easy to gain if he brought you to the egg, right?

There is no question: he’d kidnap you to bring you to the egg. Though it’ll be after a while of trying to persuade you to come with him for that. You heard so many horrible things about the egg, so it’d be better if you didn’t get involved with that. So if his attempts to get you to the egg fail, then some forceful measures will be used. It was for your best interest after all.

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi Charity! I wanted to ask you for some advice, if you wouldn't mind. I am ISTP 5w6 and recently I've been having a problem with my friend who (I think) is INFP 9w1. I want to start with that my friend frequently complains to me about a lot of things (some more personal and heavy, some just ordinary things) and it usually doesn't bug me at all and I don't take anything personally. But recently I've been feeling down and low on energy, so her complaining became very exhausting and draining. Maybe it makes me selfish but when I talk to my friends I mostly want to have fun and a good time, and not always be a shoulder to cry on. I understand that "being there" is kind of a friend's duty but it got so bad that I started to avoiding this friend at all costs because even the thought that she will most likely start whining and complaining is dreadful. I noticed that even if we are meeting up and she starts it, I kind of just... Ignore it, mostly. Or sometimes I get frustrated because she is always playing the victim even when something is objectively her own fault but she says that it's mean when I point it out. When she vents, the only thoughts in my head is "I wish she would just stop" and trying to think of a way to change the topic or straight up leave. On that note, I guess I also grew a bit bitter because lately I've been feeling that she isn't really interested in me as a person but more as a listener, I don't really know if it's true or not. I fear that if I bring it up, she will stop trusting me, and I don't really want to ruin our friendship. I mean, if someone asked me to stop sharing something personal with them, it would probably take me ages to open up to someone again. I am also currently her only friend so she literally has no one else she could vent to. But I hate it! Why should I be responsible for her emotions? Why should I sacrifice myself in order to keep someone happy? I don't want to go along with it just because it will keep her happy or keep everything "stable". But I also don't know what I can do without hurting the relationship between us. Of course, in an ideal world I would just explain, and she would understand, but knowing her, I doubt that she will not take it personally and be offended. Every outcome seems bad - ignoring someone is bad, telling the truth is bad, and playing along is bad specifically for me, not so much for her. I already had instances where someone has been so overbearing with their trauma dumping to the point that I just started to ignore them until we eventually stopped communicating. Sorry that I wrote so much, I really don't know what realistically would be the best course of action. Thank you!

I’m sorry that you are dealing with this right now. I know it’s hard when you want to maintain a relationship, but don’t have the emotional energy the other person demands from you to deal with their “stuff.” A lot of people fail to realize that a true friendship is one of equal interest in one another, and of moderation in interactions – meaning that friends are there to have fun with and be a safe space for occasional upsets, not to complain to excessively. Life is hard, things are difficult, but complaints should be occasional rather than a steady diet in a friendship, because it turns the entire relationship dynamic into an unpaid therapy session.

Firstly, you are entirely in the right to feel drained by this person, and to not want to deal with excessive negativity all the time. A friendship is supposed to be one of mutual joy and entertainment, and this person is instead, backing a dump truck up to your proverbial doorstep whenever you get together. Now, the hard thing is… you have allowed this pattern to get established and to take root, by tolerating it up to this point. The blame is partly hers for not realizing that she should not dump toxicity into your life, and partly yours for not establishing earlier that you don’t want to just listen to her complain all the time.

Changing trajectories for a relationship that has been going for a long time is going to be challenging, but it can be done by laying down boundaries – gently but firmly, and not backing down on them. How you could go about that might be to say, “I’m really looking forward to seeing you today/talking to you, but let’s keep it positive!” And to change the subject if and when she starts getting negative. Another way would be to kindly (figure out before hand what you want to say, so that it’s not a burst of annoyance) point out that she vents a lot, but venting is not a solution, and if she’s not interested in a solution, there’s not much to say on the current topic.

Complaining can become a habit. She’s formed a trigger around you where she immediately starts complaining, so you need to figure out how to alter that trigger, so she talks about other things around you. There’s a book called “Change Your Questions, Change Your Life” that you might find interesting. You might read it, and figure out how to ask questions that force her to think, rather than just vent – questions about what she wants from life, what she intends to do about her problems, what she expects from your interactions, etc. Turn it around and take the floor by asking questions! Stop the stream of whining by getting her to respond to your thoughts. If she does not like this, sooner or later she will stop venting to you, if she knows that you are immediately going to start asking her questions about how she can change her perspective or fix this.

It’s within your right (and proper) for you to take some time away and distance yourself, in order to catch your breath; an inferior Fe can’t deal with people and their emotions all the time, and she needs to remember this when interacting with you – that you are not a bastion of emotional support, but a problem-solver. Your emotional well-being is just as important as hers. If you have been polite and asked intelligent questions or laid down new ground rules, and she rejects you or goes cold on you, then she has made a decision about the friendship. It’s not right for her to hold you hostage, or for you to be expected to listen constantly to her negativity.

I knew a person like this –- and there was a REASON why I was her only friend, because she had driven everyone else away through her negativity. If you care about someone, you want what is best for them –- and what is best for your friend is not to adopt a victim mentality (nothing is ever my fault), to learn how to be proactive in solving her problems (by being asked the right kinds of questions), and to learn that relationships are not dumping grounds for constant frustration. If she wants to form mature friendships with others, and contribute to society, she will need to start somewhere.

When people “have no other friends,” that is a red flag about their behavior—it means they cannot socialize well with others and it often indicates a high level of self-absorption (it's all about me all the time). Think about your friendship; you say you don’t want to ruin it, but you also think it might be one-sided (she isn’t interested in me, except to complain to me). If she only complains to you, why are you friends? Is this relationship, overall, sustaining you and giving you what you both need, or is it draining and frustrating to you? Has it always been this way or is this a product of you becoming too comfortable with one another? Are you good for each other or dragging each other down? What kinds of questions can you ask yourself that would turn this in a more positive direction? What kinds of boundaries do you need to establish? Do you need to be more direct and clear about what you want from a friendship? Etc.

I hope it turns out well for you both.

[guzhuangheaven]

Guzhuang Appreciation Month: badass dialogues

(but in the novel)

legend of ruyi :: ep 5 // ep 78

This drama is so amazing, demonstrated by these two scenes. Here you have Ruyi and Hongli watching the same play at two different stages in their lives. In episode 5, they are still clearly in love and are happy watching the play together, leaning lovingly against each other and moving in unison as one. They are also being watched fondly by Aruo, who has yet to have ideas of betraying Ruyi. Many years later, in episode 78, we have Ruyi and Hongli watching the same play, but they are physically far apart and their emotional distance from each other is also clear on their faces. They are literally being divided by the presence of Ling Yunche standing between them.

I find the parallel between the closeups of Aruo and Ling Yunche the most heartbreaking, because Aruo, despite how happy she looks for them in ep 5, would eventually try to break Ruyi and Hongli apart. And yet for all her efforts, she never succeeds because Hongli never actually believes her. On the other hand, Ling Yunche never tries to get in between Ruyi and Hongli, but just the mere presence of him is enough for Hongli to drive a wedge between himself and Ruyi. The presence of Aruo and Ling Yunche in this scene drives home the stark contrast in how the relationship has deteriorated between Ruyi and Hongli, and how Hongli went from trusting Ruyi despite all evidence against her to believing the worst of her despite no real evidence. 

What is even more heartbreaking is the play they are watching. It’s not made very clear in the drama, but the plot of the play has great significance in the novel. The play they are watching is called 墙头马上 / Over the Wall and Atop a Horse. The play is based on the poem 井底引银瓶 Silver Vase at the Bottom of the Well by Bai Juyi.

The poem by Bai Juyi, writes of a broken relationship/friendship where two people once lived happily in harmony, then one person wronged the other, causing the other person to leave and never come back; the relationship is thus severed. 

When the poem was adapted into the play 墙头马上 / Over the Wall and Atop a Horse, the play tells the story of Pei Shaojun falling in love at first sight with Li Qianjin when she was standing by a wall and he was on a horse riding by her house. The two then eloped, and lived together for seven years, having two children together, before they were discovered by Pei Shaojun’s father. Upon the discovery, Li Qianjin was condemned for getting into a clandestine relationship and Pei Shaojun caved to parental pressure and divorced her. She went back to her hometown. Many years later, after having achieved political success, Pei Shaojun went looking for Li Qianjin again, and just happened to discover that the two of them were actually engaged as children. In the play, they then reunited, got remarried and lived happily ever after.

There is however a plot point in the Ruyi novel, where Qingying does not like the ending of the play, feeling that the happy ending was forced. In the novel, Hongli and Qingying only know each other in passing at first. Then on the day that Hongli chooses his wives, Qingying is made to attend by her aunt. Before the selection ceremony, everyone is invited to watch a play, and Hongli chooses Over the Wall and Atop a Horse. Qingying, because she dislikes the happy ending, asks the theatre troupe to change the ending of the play so that in the end, Li Qianjin does not actually get back together with Pei Shaojun but stays firm in her resolve to end the relationship between them. After the play ends, Qingying leaves before the selection, but Hongli becomes intrigued by her changed ending and chases after her. This conversation below ensues, in which you can see clearly how Qingying’s belief on the matter stayed constant with her through the years. In fact, she practically predicts her own fate later with her changed ending.

~*~

Qingying stepped lightly ahead, her gown fluttering in the breeze like a white butterfly in flight. Aruo’s face was robbed of all colour and she was crying in despair. “Gege, what is wrong with you? Everything was well, why did you change the ending of the play? If Huang Hou Niang Niang hears about it, what will you do?”

Qingying shrugged. “At most, Aunt will just scold me a little. I just don’t like that ending. Today, I finally got to see how it should be played out. I’m so happy!”

“Gege might be happy,” Aruo said miserably, “but today is the consort selection. If Gege you are not chosen, then what would we do?”

Qingying’s aunt had already intended her to be the Third Prince’s bride, and now that was not successful, she should be pushed to the Fourth Prince instead? If they needed this one forced marriage to prolong their family’s glory, would that mean all women of the Ulanara clan were little better than slaves? It would be better this way. Regardless of whether she succeeded at being chosen to be a prince’s consort or not, she got to see things done her way, for once.  

She only managed a few steps more when suddenly a voice called behind her. “Qingying Meimei!”

No one had ever called her that before. Everyone in the palace simply called her “Qingying Gege”. Curious, she turned her head to find that Hongli was chasing after her.

Thinking that he must wish to reprimand her, Qingying made herself as small as possible.

Hongli only laughed. “I chased after you to comfort you. Xiyue Gege was rude in speech, I feared that you would be offended.”

“Offended? About what?” Qingying asked in a low voice. “Fourth Prince, do you mean to mention the fact that I was rejected by the Third Prince?”

Hongli nodded, frowning. “I only fear such talk will destroy your reputation.”

Qingying laughed, all her teeth showing, against all rules of decorum, which seemed to astonish Hongli.

“I don’t care!” she declared. “There are many things that women can’t necessarily decide for themselves, such as marriage, or family. But at least, I can decide whether to mind those mocking talks, whether to care about them and let them hurt me.”

Hongli looked sad for a moment, whispering, “Your family…” But then he trailed off. Then, with a humourless smile, he said, “Over the Wall and Atop a Horse is the play I chose myself, why did you not like the ending and asked them to change it? I pick a plum blossom, lean against the wall. / You ride off among the bending poplars*. Is that not a lovely image?”

“Yes, it is very nice, it’s just…” Qingying thought a moment then said, “Over the wall and atop a horse we gaze at each other. / I know you, too, must be heartbroken*. From this beginning, the play is full of conflicts, ups and downs, all very compelling, yet in the end, there is a forced happy ending, everyone is forced to be happy, I really don’t like it at all.”

[* excerpts from the poem by Bai Juyi]

Hongli looked displeased, asking, “To be able to mend a broken mirror, husband and wife reunited and at peace again, is that not good?”

“When Li Qianjin was being insulted by Pei Shaojun’s parents, he did not protect her. He watched her leave in humiliation and did not stop her, as if all the love and years they shared did not matter. Such a heartless and weak man who dares not protect his woman, why would Li Qianjin want to get back together with him?”

Her voice was soft, but also full of conviction. Even though it went against Hongli’s beliefs, he wanted to keep her talking.

“To be reunited and together in harmony is the wishes of all families on earth. If Pei Shaojun is willing to start over, why would Li Qianjin not forgive him?”

“Why must a woman always forgive a man for his failings? Wouldn’t that teach the man that it doesn’t matter what hurt he causes? I don’t care, if he hurt her, she shouldn’t forgive him.”

“Women must be soft and gentle, and give into her husband. If she sacrifices a little, bears a little hurt feeling, they can be reunited, isn’t that happiness?”

“If she must be hurt, must sacrifice herself for this forced reunion, then it is already not a good marriage,” Qingying said stubbornly. “In my eyes, Li Qianjin is a woman who is willing to walk away, to severe the relationship, because all trust is gone.”

“If she walks away, wouldn’t that mean she spends the rest of her life alone? Everyone has their own difficult moments, if Li Qianjin is so stubborn, Pei Shaojun is put in a difficult position too.”

“Who isn’t in a difficult position?” Qingying asked. “If the woman can understand the man’s difficulties, can a man not understand a woman’s pain of being cast aside and humiliated?”

Hongli thought for a moment then laughed. “Qingying Meimei, you are much too unbending.”

Qingying merely nodded. “It’s better to live the rest of your life alone, rather than live to old age with someone who already betrayed you once. So it might be harmonious today, but if a conflict arises, what is to say Pei Shaojun will not just forsake Li Qianjin again? It is easy to change mountains**, that is the principle here.”

[** there is a Chinese saying that it is easier to change the course of rivers and shapes of mountains than to change the character of a person… aka old habits die hard but with more stakes.]

Hongli still did not agree with her logic. “Women should place obedience before all and be pliable. If she does not restrain herself and be more accepting for the greater good, then she would just suffer.”

“If one must accept being humiliated for a so-called happy ending, then I don’t want that kind of happy ending,” Qingying repeated.

“Then is Over the wall and atop a horse we gaze at each other so easily forgotten?” Hongli asked, astonished.

Qingyin turned and stared at Hongli. “If it is not easily forgotten, then why didn’t Pei Shaojun protect Li Qianjin? Hasn’t he too forgotten how they once loved each other when he cast her aside?”

Hongli could not argue against her, and finally admitted defeat. “Meimei, you really are something, I don’t know what else to say.”

Qingying laughed in delight.

“Meimei,” Hongli said, stepping closer to her, “you argued so animatedly, you must love Over the Wall and Atop a Horse. Why don’t we go back and hear the play again?”

Qingying hesitated, thinking that it would be a great loss of face if she were to return now. But Hongli was looking at her so earnestly, she found it hard to immediately refuse.

“I’ll go back first, and prepare good tea to wait for you.”

He said ‘wait’, as if he would not move the day along if she did not come. Her heart softened, and she suddenly stopped in her path.

…

[And then of course Qingying comes back to attend the selection. Hongli, who had originally intended to choose Langhua, changes his mind and chose Qingying to be his di fujin, but then Yongzheng interfered and put a stop to it… But the play is one massive foreshadowing plot device that doesn’t get explained much in the drama, but packs a punch when you read this scene.] -h

[hopecountyisforlovers]

dinner;

rating: lets say teen. mentions of cannibalism and murder and cults

pairing: ezra x hannibal

words: 839

summary: two men have a conversation over dinner. this is the best dialogue i have ever written in my life hands down

-----X-----

The quiet sounds of Claude Debussy trickle into the ornate dining room from the next one over, just loud enough to set a perfect tone for the evening.

"Why do you invite me to dinner?"

"Would you prefer I did not?"

"No, of course not. Your company is as excellent as your cooking." The answering smile he receives summons wings in his stomach. "But surely there are more interesting people you could be spending your time with than your secretary."

"I do not think I could find someone more interesting than you, especially on short notice."

"What makes you say that?" The alcohol has emboldened him a touch, he notices, and he's sure so does Hannibal. If he is offended, he makes no note of it. If anything, he seems amused, the corners of his mouth pulled up into a barely-there ghost of his stunning smile.

"Do you remember the day a wasp got into my office?"

"Yes?"

"That day.... you were fascinating that day. Cradling something dangerous in your hands, giving it the power to hurt you, if only to save it's life."

"All life is precious. Even scary things have the right to live." Ezra glances down at his dinner plate, aware of what hes consuming even though he should not be, and yet the only feeling that fills him is warmth. He can't even force himself to pretend it's just from the wine. "Especially scary things. They usually have no one to advocate for them. "

"Do you relish fear, Ezra?"

"Fear is a form of feeling alive. I think we feel most alive when we're about to die."

"Do you feel like you are about to die now?"

"If you were going to kill me, you would have done it by now. You've certainly had plenty of opportunities."

"And yet your cheeks flush, your heart races.... "

"I didn't say I don't feel alive. " A pause, soft piano and the scrape and clink of silverware on plates the only sounds in the room. "Did you lie, about being allergic?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"The same reason I often lie. To see what you would do."

"Are you going to keep lying to me?"

"If I answer that, you have no way of discerning if it is the truth or a lie." Ezra nods, taking another sip of his wine, and he can feel Hannibal watching with rapt attention. "You do not seem upset by this."

"If things are going to be the same as they've always been, what reason do I have to be upset?"

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life." He tilts his head to the side, silky black strands shifting with the motion where they hang around his face. "Are you trying to upset me?"

"No, and that is the truth. But I fear inevitably that I would regardless, if I was to be completely honest."

"I doubt that."

"What if I was to tell you that what I had served you was not actually pork?"

"I would tell you that I know that it isn't."

There is the briefest flash where Ezra knows he's caught him off guard, and he uses it as an opportunity to take another bite. The flavor is rich and decadent on his tongue, even moreso than the wine- there is really nothing else like it.

"How?"

"I would hate to monopolize dinner by talking about myself."

"Nonsense. You are my guest, after all."

He pauses for a moment, considering if it would be best to lay all his cards on the table, before catching a glimpse of soft brown eyes across the table and quickly discarding it. Ezra understands why Hannibal is a good psychiatrist- secrets do not keep company with him, outside of his own. "Do you remember, about 10 years back, hearing about the Aeternum Divinum?"

"A butchering of fine Latin. And that wasn't the only thing they butchered. Even their own were not safe- it was the largest and most brutal string of cult murders since Manson freely walked the earth."

"Manson was harmless in comparison."

"You were a member?"

"I was their second in command."

"And yet here you are, much freer than Manson."

"People felt sorry for me. They didn't want to condemn a young "girl", freshly 18, to die, not one who had so clearly been manipulated by a charismatic older man."

"Were you?"

"That's the funny thing about manipulation, isn't it? It can be so hard to tell."

"And the eternal life you sought?"

"Eternal life was never something I craved. That was his goal."

"Then what was your goal?"

"I didn't have one. Everything on Earth is able to be killed so that we can eat, so that we can flourish, even the Earth itself. Why should we be the exception to that rule?"

In a quick movement, his wine glass is being refilled- he hadn't noticed it was empty.

"A toast, then. To flourishing."

He can't help but match the smile he's given as their glasses clink together.