#i see no light
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Please don't read this
#vent#but#god its really hard to not wanna kill myself#i set no hope for the next four years#i still have no job and still live with my parents#my boyfriend is a state away#and i feel like complete shit for even complaining about this because i live in fucking california#like i have the least to be scared of supposedly#im not black#im not mexican or latino#im not visibly disabled#i shouldnt be scared of anything#but im half asian#half#biracial#im autistic#im visibly trans even if people all tell me i pass#i keeo getting things telling me to save everything to an external harddrive in case the internet becomes a space where being what i am#is disgusting ang wrong#but guess fucking what!!!#i dont fucking have one!!!#i dont have a computer!!!!!!#WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO FUCKING DO#i see no light#im just waiting to die#sorry i just needed somewhere to get all this out#sui mention#suicide mention#sui tw#tw sui ideation
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent ���🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen
#lol good luck finding all of the photoshopped versions in the rb history. ‘manatee restored’ is still my favorite of all time#misc#I encourage anyone dyslexic to try rotating him in your mind. I can’t do that; which is why I’m asking you to.#also: a bunch of tags are surprised this isn’t ‘shopped#it’s the lighting. backlit by the sun (which is diffused through the water) but also forelit artificially#the artificial light - a flash pack or something - casts a hard shadow under the creatures arm#which normally wouldn’t be possible if backlit by the SUN; you’d see a less-hard/more-fragmented shadow above water#as light sources ‘compete’ in a sense - and since there aren’t any light sources which can outshine the literal sun#it looks a bit weird when the darkest shadow is being cast from any other origin point - which is what’s essentially happening here#I don’t know the mechanics of how light travels through water; but I know the effect is substantial even with relatively short distances#also: it’s been balanced and color corrected by the author of the photo - who made deliberate choices to bring out the full potential#so it’s not like it’s a fresh and untouched export#but the kind of ‘tacked on’ appearance of the creature is a result of the lighting conditions within the image
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Like music to my ears
#shoutout to everyone leaving toxic relationships in light of a movie#about Barbie of all things!#no movie spoilers in the notes please; I haven’t gone to see it yet with my partner#this post is mine now! OP sucked!#mine#OP#barbie movie#barbie#barbie 2023
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#honestly.....#I'm so sad I didn't get to see them#cause the sky was so cloudy where I live???#and they were visible here in portugal so it makes things WORSE!#northern lights
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just how long is forever? // not long enough, with you
pssst. check this out on inprnt :]
#pssst also. you should click/zoom on this. for better quality and to see all my silly little details :] hooty hoo#this is my totkversary thing im just too impatient to wait till the 12th LOL. big shoutout to this game tht has ruined my life. and zelink.#zelink#light dragon#link#zelda#loz#totk#princess zelda#totk spoilers#link totk#zelda totk#tears of the kingdom#loz fanart#i had soooo much fun drawing this i really did. i think this is a good capstone piece for how much ive improved so far this year#i still have a long ways to go ofc but. i am pleased ^_^ nd i am glad i can use zink like experiments to do so hehe#anyway. YURI FOREVERRRRR BITCH#my art
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✦ Siesta ✦
#own art#own characters#CanisAlbus#art#artists on tumblr#Vasco#Machete#sighthound#dogs#canine#animals#Vasco's golden fur looks it's best in direct sunlight#Machete prefers shade because he burns easily and his eyes are sensitive to bright lights#I love light yellow I see yellow and I go HRAAAH
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would you bite the hand that feeds you?
#pearlescentmoon#smajor1995#wild life smp#namemc spoilers#i hope these two never get along in the storyline i find them fascinating#OKAY SO#originally i had this sketch back in session 2 when scott manages to throw her something actually edible JUST IN TIME#and now with the namemc spoilers of pearl ACTUALLY having a yellow eye which does! kind of match scotts esp since he died for this#i figured itd be an appropriate time#i did edit it though the original was pearl eating smth#now do i think scott and pearl has had any Major (heh) interactions to warrant this fanart in WL?#frankly no LMAO theyve been very civil you go guys . but i like the dynamics between them anyway#also i finally got a piece with scott!!! hes been very hard to draw goodness#anyway long rambly tags#eydidraws#my art#mcyt#trafficblr#galaxyduo#majormoon#** i say civil because its just been more on verbal light jabs at each other rather than anything Really significant ?#and well. its obvious all 3Gs are being very careful around each other which makes me JUST A L IL SAD#id love to see them let loose and be vicious but i also understand the angle theyre coming from#anyway can you tell i like the 3g dynamics
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"it's the date night cologne," buck repeats
#911#fanart of fanfic. and other great hits.#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#have to post this already or it's never seeing the light of the day with how much i redraw the lines#rabisco#fanart#digital art
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oversaturate
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk yuuji#been trying some stuff out in an attempt to beat the artblock out of myself with hammers#and i LOVE how it looks but god it takes so long painting like this#i had a ref style i was going for that was a lot more washed out and watercoloury#and to be fair my take on it did start out looking more adjacent to that#u can still kinda see remnants of the initial watercolour washes in the collar of yuuji's jacket in th bottom one#but it Did Not Last fhdjfjjg what can i say im a gouache/oils gal#i can't use soft greys and watery inks i need stark blacks i need the reddest red the colour wheel will provide#one thing i did keep from the refs were the sharp prickly fine lines i think those look real cool against textured colour blocks#anyway ive also been having a lot of fun playing with rly rly harsh lighting on the hair#and even thinner linework put down after the colour as opposed to before#probably one of the reasons why it takes a lot longer but also it mimics traditional art a lot more#ill probably continue playing around with this sort of render ! or at least keep elements of it
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In da clerb, we all fam
#svsss#liushen#cumplane#qijiu#shen qingqiu#scum villain#drunk peak lords#this is all SQH’s idea btw#Shen Qingqiu is the DD#Yue Qingyuan is by no means a light weight but he sure is a sobber once he gets drunk#I think Liu Qingge is acting on his inner impulses rn too#drunk LQQ = monkey hindbrain activated#anyway#I had to throw this out into the world bc I was staring for too long at the sketch#it would never see the light of day if I waited until morning#hoot art
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LL Megatron gets transported to the G1 cartoon (pre movie) guns don't kill anyone, everyone is more focused on their one liners then battle, wizards are real, days dont mean anything, what a silly universe
#Megatron gets shot and hes like “??? thats it? I mean ohh noo ouch”#imma be real i dont know if this is in character my library only has a couple of issues from lost light#starscream is blushing dunno how well it shows#Megatron is a good looking mech#no one notices his different frame because theyre so used to animation errors#megatron blinks. sees 3 starscreams#blinks again and its the elite trine again#megastar#megatron#starscream#transformers fanart#transformers#transformers G1#megascream#G1 x LL AU#<--- comics I made about this AU is under that tag
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were the hog at?
#everytime i see chip i wanna punch a wall sadly#oh wait its werehog wednesday!#uhm meow?#sonic#sonic fanart#sonic the hedgehog#sonic the werehog#chip the light gaia
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Surely this will have no negative consequences whatsoever!
#dbhc#dbhc art#dbhc grian#dbhc mumbo#dbhc s8#art escapades#grian#Mumbo#mumbojumbo#mumbo jumbo#hermitcraft#hermitcraft au#grumbo#hermitcraft s8#hc watchers#watchers#watcher grian#watcher mumbo#tw eyestrain#tw eye contact#tw eye imagery#tw eldritch#tw glitch#tw horror#not sure what all to tag here so pls lemme know if I should add anything#yeah I took the soul sharing thing in a very ‘’undertale���’ light#those aus where Asriel and frisk share a soul so asriel can maintain his form really changed me /silly#also this was a great idea grian. yeah. yeah okay. give the 6 month old robot with an ai soul the eldritch all seeing powers of a watcher#good idea#love the ‘woah’ page… something about grian being able to see entities at their ‘core’…. the androids being code-contained vessels…
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favorite hobby when I'm driving is to catch someone trying to climb up my back bumper while I'm going a completely reasonable speed and just slowly take my foot off the gas. you seem upset, brother. why don't we slow down and enjoy the view awhile
#if you won't maintain enough space to stop if I have to slam on brakes then I will just have to go slow enough that it won't kill us both.#kisses 💜#goes double if you have your brights on#some guy tried to tailgate me with brights on in the rain at night a while ago and I was like beloved we are going 20 until you stop that.#like at that point it's not even spite it's literally that I can't see to safely go any faster than that#lights off back off go around or accept the pace I've set for us#I don't like driving. also.
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I wish we could have met in some other way.
Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates
If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3
Still frames/Individual gifs:
If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way
#death note#dn#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#oh god here we go#death note jdrama#death note 2015#death note 2006#death note musical#lctw#l change the world#dntm#lawlightweek2024#my art#collapses i am NEVER putting this much effort in one piece ever again /hj this was the Only one i had mostly prepared in advance#ironically the most painstaking part about making this entire thing was converting the images into an animated file#that wasn't either horrifically compressed or just. wouldn't loop. why do gifs have to look so BAD it's so inconvenient#and THEN i realized I had to forcibly Stitch the two animations together so they would actually be synced and it wouldn't look dumb#and the end result is STILL so compressed. because Tumblr. uhhh just don't click on it it'll look so scuffed LOL. anyways#this is what i get for watching Every Adaptation of Death Note. i am a death note multiverse truther#usually i'd have something clever to say in the tags but. this drained the life out of me just uh.#yeah. they're doomed in every universe. this is the only way they could've met. they are doomed by their own natures and the#circumstances that surround them. there is no universe where light tries to prevent L's death. and even in the cases where L Doesn't die#there is no universe where L can save light. there is no universe where he can truly “catch” Kira and make him see where he went wrong#(<- if you read LCTW you know. :) )#in every universe and adaptation L will call Light his first friend. in some universes they'll take that notion more seriously than others#no matter what one of them will die due to the other. its the only constant. it's the only way it can ever be. they are the others downfall
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