#i scare myself truly
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pencilofawesomeness · 20 hours ago
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WIP Folder Ask Game
Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous and tag as many people as you have WIPs. People send an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then you post a snippet or tell them something about it!
OKAY OKAY. Who wants to see my unholy stack of WIPs? Clearly several people, as I have been tagged by @bumblebeehug, @xfangheartx, and specifically called out by @phoenix-before-the-flame. (Love yall)
I don't have a neat folder, and I'm not going to include things I never plan on touching again or completed works or notes, but uh. I have things scattered about, of the WIP variety. Oh dear god. Save me.
MAIN WRITING FOLDER
(aka things that have their own doc, including docs that store a collection of wips like a matryoshka doll. Those will be astrisked)
—22 AUs* —BAD THINGS HAPPEN BINGO* —Breaking Chains Extra Stuff —Everything to me —Fairy Tail FMA AU —Febuwhump 2025* —FTRB22 Fantasy Space AU —HTRYDS Runaways —JJK Hurt/Comfort* —JJK MHA Crossover —JJK What the Storm Brings —Jujutsu Wonderland* —Natsu Whump Fic —Random Stuff* —Random Stuff 2* —Random Writing Tres* —Sic Semper Tyrannis —Tales of Valor —Those Who Defy Death —Under the Wing
and now for the scarier part.... The things I have inside documents. Note that there are completed things in some of these, or things I won't go back to, so I'm only listing WIPs.
DOC COLLECTIONS / SNIPPETS
22 AUs —Fullmetal Alchemist: My Hero Academia —Fairy Tail: H2O
BAD THINGS HAPPEN BINGO —HIVES
Febuwhump 2025: —*each day's prompt and corresponding drabble, I ain't listing them all: those are the Fairy Tail ones I did the polls for —ORORON FIC: Used as Practice —TAPFU AU: Living Weapon
JJK Hurt/Comfort —Scars —The light turned red, and I ran it
Random Stuff 2 —SUPERGIRL: The Legion meets Mon-EL —SUPERGIRL: Mon-El and Elida —SUPERGIRL: Mon-El Returns / Visiting Clark —TALES OF VALOR: Imra and Mon-El Talk —TALES OF VALOR: Name Drabble —UMBRELLA ACADEMY: Batman Adopts the Hargreaves (Number 4) —FAIRY TAIL: HTTYD AU - Gajeel finds Natsu —FAIRY TAIL: HTTYD AU - Tiny Wendy —FAIRY TAIL: HTTYD AU - From the beginning, for real this time —SEVEN DEADLY SINS: Brother Talk —FAIRY TAIL / SEVEN DEADLY SINS: What it means to be human alive —GENSHIN IMPACT: Coffee and Candied Ajilenakh Nuts —TWISTED WONDERLAND: Trein and Leona —JUJUTSU KAISEN: My Gojo Manifesto | The Most Dangerous Thing is to Love
Random Writing Tres: —FAIRY TAIL: FMA AU Backstory Thingy —KINTSUGI: Ur Prequel Scene —TWISTED WONDERLAND: Leona and Malleus Snippet —JUJUTSU KAISEN: Within Infinity - Shoko —JUJUTSU KAISEN: The Sun Wonders of Us | Tsumiki Intro —JUJUTSU KAISEN: The Sun Wonders of Us | rip Gojo —JJK x MHA | MAY DEATH NEVER STOP YOU: Megumi AU —JJK THERE'S A PLACE FOR US: Aftermath Sequel
FINALLY, MY ART
(I'm actually pretty good at finishing things I start in a timely-ish manner so not many true WIPs. Mostly because I haven't made a doc yet for some of my ideas lmao.)
—Cover_DT —DragonFamBatfam —ExpressionSheet_Erik —HTRYDS_Expressions-and-Designs
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There. That's most everything. Maybe. Some of those, particularly in the Random Writing Collections, are scenes of the same thing, potentially belonging to another document, but I just. Wrote the headers I have. For the sake of the game. So. Yeah.
Feel free to send in asks and bother me about WIPs. That's a good way to make me work on them lol.
I know this is a tag game but most of my usual suspects have been tagged, and I'm feeling nice, so I'm not going to willfully wish this on anybody. If you're brave enough to dig through your WIPs, feel free to pretend I tagged you and blame me for it. I support you fully o7
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months ago
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Out of sight, out of - wait.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#granny wen#a-yuan#It's always fascinating how colours translate from the page to the screen.#It would probably surprise a lot of people to see what some of these comics actually look like in physical form.#My lighter colours takes about 3-4 washes before it shows up on scan which means it tends to ripple the page.#And my yellows and oranges are drastically different colours when scanned compared to the ink colour.#There's about 20 or so comics where everyone's hair is purple - because it scanned in the exact same colour as my light grey.#Wait my book is right here in front of me so I can...yeah...Comics 57-77 were indeed purple.#This is all to say - is it not fascinating how what we see is often not the full truth of what the subject truly is?#Is it not fascinating to open another episode that reminds us that despite everyone's claims they could totally spot the evil YLLZ-#-The man walks around among them for months as no more than a man haggling for deals like the rest.#It's almost as if he's just a person. It's almost as if none of us - no matter what we do are really anything more than just a person.#Your good acts will be overtaken by how other's interpret you in negative light.#Just as easily are people willing to forgive crueler actions if they hold you in high esteem.#But what's real? Is the page I hold the real version of this comic? Is it the one you look at?#Is the man known as Wuxian the most himself when he is alone or on the battlefield?#Perhaps he is and has always been a scared orphan boy lost in the market.#I think there is no good answer to any of these questions.#But I do know that panic rising in WWX as he frantically looks for A-yuan was for more than one boy.#To be human is to have layers around a delicate center. We only really grow around our wounds from childhood.#In other words; Donkey from Shrek would also probably call Wei Wuxian an onion. I'll see myself out now.
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idontmindifuforgetme · 3 months ago
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Going to get into the habit of carrying my journal everywhere w me bc I truly want to soak up every snapshot of this transitional period where I’m just a 22 year old girl finding my footing and the only thing I’m tied to are the decisions I make and the path I carve for myself
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beescake · 1 year ago
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Sorry for the spam (^o^;) I just really like your blog
no need to apologize ayy!
in this corner we welcome all forms of enjoyment, regardless of whether you're a
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happy to have yall here w me,
headin into homestuck 2024 :^)
#was debating if sollux truly was lurker type but then i rmbr'd him quietly reading all of karkat's memos for a good laugh HAHAHAHAAH#ask#aleemie#homestuck#karkat vantas#sollux captor#solkat#2024#vioart#but o. regarding the etiquette learned frm other socmed#spamming here is safe+good! it does not harm the op by shadowbanning like instagram#and its not 💀 like twitter where ur likes/following are permanently set to public#ur tumblr experience is within ur control it can be as free/empty/curated as u want!!#((tho ofc i do encourage rbing for ppl who've been hoping to start that habit!!#s'cool to slowly work ur way up from the extra special posts that hv lingered longest in ur heart and quietly build ur cache trove :-)#for example back when i was struggling to rt on a new twt acc i just started setting nonsense criteria for myself LOL#like “breaking this void is scary holy fuck ok i shall start by rting posts w brownish/reddish clrs bcs its inspo vibes for my art”#and gradually after a while of deliberate sharing i gained more confidence to share a larger variety of posts that make me feel things!!!!#no more training wheels i may be scared but i love loving more!!!!#same goes for engaging w fics too it takes energy to think of how to comment and thats ok‚ do ur best to explore what works for u!!!!#take screenshots of ur fave paragraphs & start annotating in gallery/notes app if that helps!!!!#also tumblr's customizable queue means u can stack posts and bolt hgehehe. my preferred form of existing on the net))
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foursidecity · 1 month ago
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I want to watch a frankenstein style comedy but it plays closer to the books so everytime the monster fucks off somewhere else Victor frankenstein is like "finally my worries have abandoned me!" And he clicks his heals and promptly passes out for the 3rd time in 20 minutes
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postsetstoner · 17 days ago
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I just want to have one author of a book that shaped my childhood be a good person. I guess that's too hard of an ask. I guess it's a prerequisite to being a successful children's book author
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malacandrax · 6 months ago
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Doodle comms closed for now! I've got the next couple of weeks full so I'm hesitant to take more, but I might open again down the road.
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rapidhighway · 4 months ago
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venting like an idiot
the main reason i dont wanna go back to uni is that i feel like i've completely embarrassed myself last year. idk, i feel horrified at the thought of returning and looking these people in the eye. i didn't do anything, i was lazy and barely finished my projects and the only way to redeem myself somehow would be to come back with some new energy and work hard. i didn't even really get a job this summer because i really wanted to rest, cause i thought i would drop out. and i just feel worse, i feel even more tired
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dan-whoell · 3 months ago
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i keep thinking about a phandom book club, but i have no idea how to go about organizing it or if anyone would be interested or even where to host it
alternatively is there already a phandom book club i could join? because i would love that
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uncanny-tranny · 2 years ago
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One of the hardest things to actually accept, in my experience, is that you eventually have to forgive yourself for the harm you did to yourself. A good way to move on from that is just being able to let your past self rest in peace. Don't stomp on their resting spot, they need to be at peace. They deserve to be at peace, and so do you.
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johnnycrass · 1 month ago
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yeah
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la-galaxie-langblr · 3 months ago
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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skitskatdacat63 · 3 months ago
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I was gonna post something about dreading how shit this week is going to be. But then I realized it's probably going to be shit until late January, so. Please pray for my blood pressure and health 😭
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whoblewboobear · 7 months ago
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Staring down that weird feeling of feeling like too much or out of place or annoying if I say too much or say things too loud or too off-putting to be like- WANTED in any given social situation. To try so hard to socialize just to- idk. I’d very much like to stop defaulting to that scared kid that was pushed away or talked over until I got old enough and desperate enough to say any and every rapid fire thought that comes to mind. Like filling space when there’s dead air then wondering if maybe I did the Too Much™️ thing again and A. Scared everyone away or B. Pushed everyone away so it would hurt less when they leave BC of A.
Of feeling like I need to be useful or smart or talented or pretty or SOMETHING worthwhile so people want me around. I can just be but then it’s like just being has never been enough for anyone to like- stay. Or care. Running is always a mistake bc it’s like riiiight.. no one noticed you ran, babe. You’re not even at the top of their list people to want around. And just feel so low about it that I talk myself into feeling miserable again.
I’m happy, ive been so much happier lately and i dont take it for granted bc it’s so rare that things go okay or that there’s a sense of peace for a moment. I’m creating again and im less hard on myself about it. I have hobbies again, I’m making friends. And still I’m like seeing the other foot start to drop in real time bc it’s like. You’re in, but are you? That constant nagging voice that sounds so much like my own going “lonely again? Good you deserve it”
#me: there’s time..#also me: THERES NO TIME#now see the thing they don’t tell you about taking lexapro is that you’ll have the motivation and energy to reinvest in hobbies when you’ve#been in depression hell for so long#also thank god it makes the excessive worry thoughts thiiiiiis loud 👌#like nooo babe there’s time#there’s always time if I’m okay with the crushing feeling of splitting my attention TOO much that I don’t connect with either fandom#that’s spooky#shaking and screaming like ‘don’t look at the notes it doesn’t matter’#and it truly doesn’t#sigh#I just keep coming back to that Brennan/hank green clip#where Brennan is talking about feeling like you just /dont/ belong even tho u did commit to trying you’ll always have that scared little#kid at the back of your mind with no friends reconfirming that no one likes you#I don’t know..#in theory people like me#but /i/ can never be normal about it#and I keep like.. I dunno#it’s tough spending your whole life never being the one people seek out#never the one that people WANT to hear talk#constantly feeling like too much and wondering if I should pull back#for people to get weirded out when I pull back#it’s exhausting#and it’s lonely#and even after 24 years I’m still the same insecure kid talking in the group chat while everyone else is silent#like am I too much am I too desperate#even like talking to my mom- who’s opinion of me truly doesn’t matter anymore just constantly interrupt me or talk over me#or ignore me so I’m repeating myself over and over just to give up#personal#fuck
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rabbithaver · 3 months ago
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every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space
i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !
#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post#like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide#which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone#> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won#i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare#and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that#but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it#so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything#if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again#i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable#i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people#like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation#again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good#person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make#>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be#when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be#im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry
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werebutch · 3 months ago
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Every day so many times a day I remind myself that I cannot keep avoiding everything there is to life and every day I am so scared and I say but just one more time. And I’ve been doing this forever. It is so hard anxiety is so much harder than everyone says it is mine is completely ruining my life it’s horrible. It’s so horrible
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