#i remember posting something like this on my other blog and upsetting multiple people

[moophinz]

YGO character design is just different variations of this ranging from severe to mild

[theshadowsingersraven]

I feel like E|riels genuinely don't realize how much their reputation precedes them and that enough people in the rest of the fandom (not just relegated to the Ship Wars) have had so many negative interactions on multiple different platforms with them, as well as them flat out refusing accountability and saying people are making fake accounts despite ones (especially on Twitter) existing for years and proudly proclaiming themselves as E|riels matters more than the Elain Week account saying "Everyone (except people who want to include Tamlin and/or Beron in their portrayal) is welcome!"

Because I remember people getting harassed on their own Tiktok videos about Gwynriel/Elucien regularly from the same 8 or so E|riel accounts. I remember self-proclaimed E|riels harassing the cosplayer who was hired to play Gwyn at Gauntlets and Gowns' event, body shaming her to the point where she had to make a video about it. I remember E|riels on Twitter insulting real people and calling them empty-headed, insane asylum escapees, and saying that users should try and claim mental instability in order to get their money back via health insurance claims for buying commissions of the "wrong ship". I remember E|riels on Reddit claiming that NSFW Elucien art should be considered depictions of SA, since Elain is "saying a clear "no" in canon to Lucien" and completely undermining the entire basis of fandom creativity and shipping. I remember those same E|riels excusing the harassment Gwynriel-related accounts with large followings get because they "don't defend E|riels" or something along those lines, shortly followed by more E|riels saying that the harassment and threats people have been getting on multiple platforms are "carefully coordinated to make E|riels look bad" and fake. I remember E|riels refusing to adhere to tag courtesy and understanding when they are not the target audience for something.

That is just my memory as someone who has been in this fandom for about two years now. Let alone the people who have been here from when the series first came out, or even any time before ACOSF.

E|riels are not operating with the clean slate they seem to believe they are. Cosplayers have had bad experiences with E|riels (even ones who make E|riel content!), for example. As well as fanfic authors, fanartists, average Tiktok users who make videos, Twitter users, Tumblr users, Reddit users, etc. Hell, I've even had my Tumblr account for upwards of 10 years, and it's never been wrongly deactivated by Tumblr before. Not until I started posting anti-E|riel content did my Tumblr ever get reported and then reinstated because Tumblr staff admitted they wrongfully terminated my blog.

So...how are they surprised or offended that people didn't feel comfortable participating in their Elain Week when so many of them are on thin ice as it is? How are they upset when people don't conveniently wipe their memory and trust their week that's already banning certain submissions (as if that alone isn't enough for people to not want to submit their art there? I don't even ship Tamlain but still recognize selectively banning ships is wrong) enough to participate? Saying people are welcome isn't enough when you're based in a community that regularly thrives on shaming and mistreating others, claiming they're the only "true" Elain stans. It's further not enough when people felt like their concerns were validated by the overwhelming amount of E|riel bias in the week's submissions.

If they don't like the fact that they're on thin ice, maybe they should actually do something to remedy that instead of fumbling every single chance they have to improve their god-awful fandom impression. Elaingate was their chance to prove they aren't as bad as the worst of them, and instead of standing for fandom integrity, creativity, and the right for all Elain appreciation and art to celebrated, even if it isn't how they would personally celebrate or appreciate her they doubled down and insisted on excluding others. And now they're playing the victims because they weren't the priority of Elain Day after they already had their preferred Elain Week? They weren't excluded, they just weren't the main concern because they weren't excluded from the Elain Week held this month. The concern was uplifting the people who were shamed or told they didn't care about DV or DV survivors because they felt that censorship for an entire community event based on a mod's needs is wrong and does not cater to the community enough, or because they're triggered by characters that aren't Tamlin or Beron and yet Elain Week didn't deem them worthy of the same "protection" that they "offer" to survivors triggered by Tamlin

They are why a second Elain Week exists. And the more and more they prove it necessary, the more and more I'm glad it exists for the people who want that safe space they were denied. To anyone hurt by elaingate, know that you are seen and there's a safe space in this hostile fandom for you and your art.

[borderlinereminders]

I actually really want an outside point of view. But also to share my side.

There’s a user posting a lot of bad stuff about me. Like a lot. I try and let this stuff go and not engage on this platform. I’m not posting their username publicly because I am still trying to respect their privacy but if anyone does see the posts, I want my side to be out there.

I run a trauma survivors discord server. In the server, I try and manage everyone’s comfort as best as I can.

I had more than one person approach me about feeling uncomfortable at the frequency this user tried to get other members to DM and how pushy it came across as.

Me and the other mods understood that this likely didn’t come from a bad place but from being lonely so we weren’t mad. Genuinely. But if I have multiple people feeling uncomfortable, I feel I need to act on it. No one approached me publicly in the server so no one knew someone else had approached me. The people approaching me didn’t know anyone else had approached me so this wasn’t a thing where people just started agreeing and piling on.

So, I sent this message (privately through a ticket system)

The things being said because of this message have me second guessing myself. And I’m just tired.

I understand that they are feeling attacked and I so remember how it felt when I was in a really bad place and I would have felt really upset about getting this message too. But I still don’t think the amount of harassing is justified by them or the things they are saying about me are okay.

I really don’t usually post about drama but my other urge was to delete my blogs because I am just so tired. And I realized that urge was coming because I felt like I couldn’t defend myself. Like I had to be the “bigger” person and that’s something I struggled with a lot growing up. Being quiet to protect other people.

So, here’s my side of the story.

Edit: the user has now taken down the posts about me and apologized. I am leaving this up though because it does not identify them at all and I don’t trust stuff not to get out of hand again. It feels like it protects me a bit.

[subsystems]

10.2.23

Disclaimer: This is my own musings about plurality. I talk about my personal experience with unification (final fusion) too. Don't read if that upsets you for some reason.

Something I haven't really talked about is my relationship with the idea of plurality. I saw someone talking about how they feel simultaneously plural and not plural, and I find that really relatable.

I used to despise being called plural. It brought me so much shame. Made me feel like this one single symptom of my disability was being cherrypicked and pinned onto me as a label. I felt like my vast and varied experience with DID was minimized for something much more palatable and "fun" to others. It was almost like the full DID was being pushed aside. Like being told "yes, you should continue to hide that and you should continue to be ashamed of it."

I also felt like plurality still applied to me, though. Yes, the blanket definition of plurality does fit me. I am a person who has multiple parts, a plurality of perspectives, I am "more than one." That fits...but that's not all?

I think another thing is that, when I got diagnosed, I didn't even feel plural even though I knew the term technically fit me. I hardly ever felt a presence of parts even though they were there. We hardly talked, hardly wanted to acknowledge each other, even though the evidence was there. For me, it was like being forcibly dragged in and out of existence. Someone else would replace me but I wouldn't know that, wouldn't remember. So, what do you mean that there are systems who never feel lonely or out of control because they're always co-conscious, voluntarily switching, and chatting inside? What do you mean that's even possible? Was I the only one living my own life in slivers and pieces? Was I the only one experiencing the unbearable loneliness that is my DID?

Yeah, I am "more than one" but...

It was complicated. There's probably old posts on my blog where I talk about how I'm not plural even though I have DID. And probably other posts where I'm calling myself plural as if my teeth are clenched. Like it's painful but necessary.

Sometimes I revisit those old feelings, but for the most part I feel at peace with the concept of plurality now. As a young trauma survivor, it was hard to separate the concept itself from the online culture surrounding it. But, ultimately, the way other people experience their plurality doesn't invalidate me. The concept itself doesn't minimize or shame me. It's just a word for an experience, in the same way that dissociation and flashbacks are words for experiences. The way these things are treated and talked about are ripe for criticism, not the experiences themselves. It's nice to have words for them.

And there's no universal way of "being more than one" because it ranges on a spectrum of experiences. Much in the same way dissociation can be mild or extreme, be it brought on by trauma, mental disorders, religious practices, drugs, or other things. Who fucking cares.

But when I think about it...when did I start actually feeling plural despite always fitting the concept? Out of anything, I think unification (final fusion) was actually what helped me finally feel my own plurality. Isn't that interesting?

Unification was when we finally felt each other. I feel the entire multitude because I am it. We're all together, all at once, at all moments. We're constantly in communication. There's no blocks, no separations, no barriers. I'm all of us and we're all of me: a big bundle of parts, connected together like a constellation.

That feels more like plurality than anything I ever felt before.

[sophieinwonderland]

This might be upsetting but I just saw a post from did a dose of reality and it was concerning to say the least. They said the disorder wasn’t real but they play along with their clients pretending to validate their alters, only because they think that will intergrate them.

And that the only patients that leave them are the “fakers.”

Yikes!

Actually, what is even going on with that blog? There is so much blatant misinformation there.

1. Partial DID

ICD-11:

Do I need to say more?

2. Hallucinations in Dissociative Identity Disorder

They also suggest a few time that DID doesn't involve hallucinations...

Now... I doubt that "those in therapy" are aware of the DSM-5-TR, which is what I think this person is referring to since they talk about it elsewhere. Like, most therapists probably won't give their patients a rundown of the new medical manuals, right? But even if they did, I feel this person missed something pretty important in the TR.

But the TR actually undersells this association. According to one study, these hallucinations are MORE COMMON THAN IN SCHIZOPHRENIA.

And not by a small margin either.

Physical sensations associated with voices were reported 97% of the time in DID compared to 50% in Schizophrenia groups. Visual hallucinations were nearly twice as common. Tactile hallucinations, about 3 times as common.

This misinformation is genuinely dangerous.

If this alleged therapist decided that hallucinations are all psychotic, then their perception of DID could very easily be influenced by the fact that they've misdiagnosed many of their dissociative patients with psychotic disorders.

3. People with DID want their alters gone

I'm going to note that the title is my interpretation. They don't clearly say this. They just say that people with DID want to finish the job and cure it. But the way they talk about alters strongly leaves this impression.

I absolutely think it's true that most people with DID don't want to have a disorder.

But many would like to pursue healthy multiplicity.

And I'd like to point again at the table in the above study. When participants were asked if they would miss their voices if they stopped, a massive 69% answered that they would. That's a huge majority of DID systems in that study.

4. Complex DID

There is actually a certain level of truth to this one too. Complex-DID is not an official diagnosis, and HC-DID is a community term that can be a bit misleading because it sounds like a clinical term. (Similar issue with emotional amnesia.)

Having said that... this is a really silly way to go about this...

"Complex" as an adjective means that something is complicated. It's not the same as the noun "complex." Having a "complex disorder" would never be related to "having a complex."

Might as well try to convince your student that they're claiming to be an apartment complex.

I would suggest both they and their student take an English class.

Anyway, while HC-DID isn't a medical term and C-DID isn't an official diagnosis, I suspect "complex DID" likely comes from this paper.

5.) The Flight or Flight Reaction

Remember, if you make someone with a dissociative disorder angry, they'll always run away because they're literally incapable of fighting back. If they do argue with you fakeclaiming them, then that PROVES they were faking all along.

Never mind that not every instance of people being upset with you on the internet and calling you our for harmful behavior is because they're triggered. (In the traumatic sense.)

Never mind that "Fight" is a natural reaction to trauma when it is triggered.

Never mind that people who might normally run away were it something triggering you said to just them may engage because they don't want your words harming other people. /s

Anyway, yeah... this is a really gross blog from a very ableist and uninformed therapist, filled to the brim with misinformation, and I would highly advise people ignore it.

[its-elvie-innit]

Dsmpblr stuff in one big archive post

The fake ranboo arg (run by a blog some people thought was ranboo or a kinnie. It never was, but instead was some sort of arg surrounding the ranboo lore. Multiple characters, like the Duke, duchess, and a discord server where people started translating the posts (which were all in ender, or minecraft galactic) (link to doc)

Minesonas, and then subsequently citizen memes. This was contained within three non-consecutive weeks, where people were discussing whether lmanburg had citizens or if it did, what would it be like?

People upset over ghostburs library being blown up. There were a lot of books in there important to a storyline, and some blogs were very upset they couldn't be archived

Mcytblr awards, which had a doc and everything (link)

DSMP sexyman!!!!! The competition one blog held to go over all the supposed sexymen in mcytblr, and if they were or not. The doc for this is here (link)

Dilfcourse (world sluttiest absent father) this went on prior to philza eventually finding out he was being called a dilf, and I think there may have been a poll (?) About who was the biggest dilf right after the one mcc with all new art of certain male ccs, but it also basically ended when philza got temporarily mad about tumblrites not wanting him on tumblr, and discovered dilfza. Then when he said he didn't like it, the entire "titty window" philza design disappeared and everyone stopped posting dilfza.

Philza nerfing a blog for an url (I think it turned out that tumblr did it? But it was still WEIRD) and EVERYONE got mad about it.

The one quackity kinnie blog? During this time, a ton of kinnie blogs popped up and the quackity one sticks in my head because it was kind of convincing

Drinnie. Another kinnie blog, I actually never knew if this one was real. It was more activ3 before I joined, but it was still a pretty large thing in small mcytblr.

Whatever we had going on with piss. I think dream started the pissbaby thing and it stuck. That was so big for so long

The split between dteamblr and dsmpblr. Also the protectiveness we kind of handed off between them. Being such a closely related fandom in the publics eyes, dsmpblr and dteamblr would both get hate anons about Dream and I still recall going to bat for them sometimes. Also the discussed "gnf sickness". I don't want to mention him because he's a horrible man and deserves jailtime but it was a part of it.

Mcytboundaries. Does anyone else remember that blog? That thing was so important in the first seven months I was here.

The death of kinnies. When those few kinnie blogs that cropped up started getting really upset over getting tons of copypastas and took them seriously. I remember being so annoyed at them because if you make a kinnie blog (NOT a roleplay blog) thats the culture!!! You knew that was going to happen!!!! Put a disclaimer in your bio or something gosh.

Beacon lamps sudden ubiquitous posts. Similarly with 420technoblazeit, sometimes there would be a joke that just stuck around because it was them who posted it.

This one's more recent, but those sootblr bloggers who kept having almost e-sex in random peoples notes. Even bloggers outside of mcytblr. What was up with those guys

Not wanting ccs on tumblr. Not an event, just the overarching opinion that it would be a bad thing. It slowly died off as an opinion during late 22, something that made me and a few other og mcytblrs very sad or hesitant because people would start sharing tumblr posts with the ccs. I remember It felt like the final death of og mcytblr to me

Does anyone remember if there was that one dsmp citizen server and if it actually happened???? That might be a fake memory.

Tubbo tumblr!! This is multiple events, but he mentioned he had one in early dsmp, and it kind of overjoyed people. Then, months later, he started scrolling on stream and people made posts (INCLUDING myself) about being so genuinely scared of him being online. Out of all of the "dsmper makes a tumblr" instances, I think this was the one with the most positive reaction.

Fuck dream hoodie (instagram) and mcytblrs reaction. Went in a really funny direction

Youtooz stealing mcytblr artists fanart

Hermitblr theory stolen by matpats yt channel and no reply

KARL HATEPOSTING. When for a month in 2021 everyone just HATED him for no real reason, maybe because of tftsmp?. I think it stemmed from two blogs, and then got its start in og mcytblr circles. I remember my ex mutual squid got too into it, it was really crazy. Why did we even do that.

Love or hosts.....love or hosts and the liveblogs...

The like, Hermitcraft vs Dsmpblr sudden dichotomy. One day I remember all of a sudden there were hermit blogs, and a few dsmp blogs after them, that started getting really pissy over people referring to dsmpblr as "mcytblr" because it wasn't the whole of mcytblr. Gosh that was so stupid and funny.

Those days people posted about crying over lost vods. Whenever someone did, it would catch like a virus and EVERYONE would start talking about how sad it was.

Kroger anon...Hearty anon...my loves. Hearty Anon was like the darling of mcytblr. I didn't even know they were a real blog I just thought they were like Kroger Anon. Always wanted one of those.

Finding out wooteena was like 11. Not actually eleven, but seriously everyone thought they were like an adult person I don't know.

Subtle, but the mcytblr friendgroups and different parts having beef with each other. It was really lowkey, but I'm sorry metfell and conarcoin and their whole deal had some real haters. thats probably because they were kinda mean sometimes.

INNITER OPRESSION. gosh I remember how giddy I would get defending myself over the url and saying it was just the first thing I thought of. If you had a certain url you were a magnet for sections of mcytblr in the silliest of ways I loved it so much. little cultural pockets for every streamer.

Mcytblrs reaction to the mcytwt trending writer. I thought that was so funny.

THE TUMBLR PODCAST. Those guys on tumblr that talked about us once!!!! On a podcast!!!! Similarly, all those times we dominated not only the trending page when there was a stream, but also the fandom reports tumblr put out about which keywords and tags were most popular. Whenever someone dropped down or moved up it was really "campeao del Mundo" in the mcytblr tags. And the slow decline and us being really really sad when a spot went -15...

DOES anyone else remember the triad. Mcyt reddit, Twitter, and tumblr. How Twitter thought we had a rivals to lovers thing but actually we just hated their guts. There was fanart and everything

When the Twitter refugees came over and the first wave was semi hate and semi welcoming. Everyone came around for the second wave, but the first exodus was 85% hesitant welcome and 15% vitriol and fear.

The discourse about calling them Twitter refugees??? Because refugees are "an actual thing" we couldn't call them that anymore. I just thought it was a little stupid.

Not a specific "event" but more a shift from analysis posts and liveblogs to art and headcanon posting. There was a time in the beginning where everyone theorized about anything and everything. As the dsmp aged and mcytblr grew it became so much more isolated, I still don't understand why people stopped using liveblog tags. Bring them back!!!!! Aurghh!!!!!!

When mcytblr (like nine people out of it) started going after some dude? I forget. But there was a harassment campaign, and death threats allegedly and some big blogs made a whole deal out of it and started saying how mcytblr was no different or better than mcytwt and I don't remember if it was justified or stupid. It was for sure after the first Twitter migration and possibly after the second.

Mcytblr crafting stuff. Such an awesome group of people. I think there's an archive for mcytblr crafts, btw, it's @mcytcrafts

Just about everything I remember, besides the discourse about tommy/others getting rid of the dsmp monuments or builds that had been there a really long time like the Wal-Mart and it being really heated for a while. By the time jack and tubbo started planting potatoes everyone was cool about the whole thing.

@mcytblr-archive

I don't want to write anymore :( I think like two of these are kind of my-circle specific but I'm unsure so I included them anyway. Hope it's useful!

Edit; Tapeworm post.

[cassi-pokeblogging-hub]

Heyo! I'm Cassiopeia!

The following blog is an ooc hub for all my pkmn irl accounts, and where the follows for all the accounts listed later in this post come from! This blog USED to be the rp blog for a character I no longer use and have no motivation for anymore, and is the main blog on this account, so I figured changing it into a hub blog of sorts would be a good idea.

I'm free to answer questions about my ocs ooc here, plot arcs, and generally talk about stuff in the pkmn irl community. I'll also possibly be boosting some accounts I think are cool, reblogging important posts and ask games in the community to hopefully spread them around a bit more, and just generally using this to store some posts about pokemon in general that I think are neat.

Info about the Mod and General Boundaries!

The following is some general information that might be useful. Like I said earlier, I'm Cassiopeia, but you can call me Cass, Cassi, or Pea! I use any pronouns, and I'm an adult (Adult meaning 18 or older in this case.) I'm the host of a system, and a splitroject (or whatever the term is I cant remember) with multiple sources, but notably several pokemon characters. Pokemon has been a systemwide special interest since we were a little kid, and we have a lot of opinions and headcanons, as well as know A LOT about the series as a whole. Our main account is @max-starfall but this is a seperate account so follows for pkmn irl stuff will come from here. A warning that we occasionally reblog heavy stuff or more adult oriented content on that blog (nothing outright nsfw, but usually some suggestive stuff and sexual humor, so minors beware)

I DO check peoples boundaries before I follow so don't worry! Only time I won't is if I miss them. Also sometimes I follow people just cause I think the blog is cool, but I tend to not interact outside of anons just cause while I like your blog, my blogs just can't or wouldn't interact, or I'm a little scared to, yknow?

Any pkmn irl rp account is allowed to interact with p much any of my blogs! Sentient pokemon, legendaries, eebies, etc etc etc. I run on Rotomblr being a multiverse. I may not interact much if our canons diverge too strongly for personal comfort but usually it's whatever cause of the previously mentioned multiverse thing. I will note that sometimes people just view things in such a way that sets our system off due to large amounts of pokemon alters that we will have to block you based off headcannon differences. Usually some pretty large stuff though. Minor differences are fine and we've been getting better.

Some general stuff I go by on all my blogs are people do eat pokemon, and pokemon do eat other pokemon. There are small bugs and bacteria and shit thatre still. alive but not pokemon. Not all pokemon lay eggs. A more mammalian pokemon like stoutland would give live birth like a real dog, and stuff like the more plant like pokemon like sunflora or oddish produce seeds. Not going to go too into details but thats something that happens.

While I am an adult, I prefer not to engage with more suggestive or outright nsfw content on the pkmn irl sphere (but i may rb some suggestive stuff or make brief jokes VERY RARELY, always tagged). There's a lot of minors in this community, and I'd like to keep my blogs generally safe spaces for them to interact. If it's anything you wouldn't joke about with a middle schooler or high schooler, probably not. There ARE some blogs I run that are exceptions to this, but if they are, you will see me making note that I'll be making a lot more suggestive jokes on that blog, and even then it will just be like sex jokes and not outright nsfw stuff. I try to tag stuff that can be upsetting on all my blogs, and I'll usually ask before doing anything big with anyone elses blogs. There's other stuff, but DNI's don't usually work, so I'll probably just block you if I don't like your vibes or find you really annoying.

My tumblr dms are always open, so if you'd like to plot anything out, I'm free to chat here or on the rp account in question! You CAN leave a message on my main account too, but I'd prefer to keep rp stuff here. If you already know my discord and we've chatted in dms there before in the past, that's also an option, but otherwise stick to tumblr.

If you have a problem with me, please tell me because I am stupid. If you don't want me following you please just block me, or tell me straight up because I will not realize.

Pokemon IRL Blogs I run:

Putting these under the cut cause there's a lot. Includes summaries.

@yveltalreal - maple is a narauva student with undoubtedly something wrong with her, yet insists she is completely normal and seems downright unaware of some of her own oddities. she cant see several of her own posts, regularly blacks out for several hours, and has a strange family history. not only that, there seems so be someone who ISN'T maple or her rotom occasionally using the account, someone who maple is unaware of completely. the fuck is up with that?

@fruitbasket-gossip - A joint blog with 3 friends. I play Mod Starf. A group of NaraUva students and Blueberry students fucking around on Rotomblr. What will they do? Who knows!

@nimbasawizard - guy preteneing to be a wizard for shits and giggles what more do you need?

@vital-spirit - A joint blog with a friend! A pmd blog in a setting inspired by various western movies. A whole new set of towns, dungeons, and characters unrelated to those in the various games. I play Lucario.

@blazingvictory - the blog of a bba student with so many problems and issues.

There's a few others but they're completely dead and I have no intent to use them again for a while, and are still attached to my main rather than this blog.

[the-irken-pony]

Hey, I'm sorry to bother you, but I'd like to post my THSC art on Tumblr - but I always get too anxious to. I'm always scared I'm going to accidently copy someone or say something rude on accident (which is silly, I know, but I can't stop thing about it)... Do you have any suggestions?

(You don't have to answer this if it's too uncomfortable)

Hey, we’ve all been there. Sharing art online for the first time can be scary no matter your age or experience level. Can’t cure your anxiety, but I can offer a couple tips to keep in mind.

Google the “two cakes theory”. The idea of it goes that, while an artist may look at their own work with disdain and feel as though it’s inadequate in comparison to another artist’s work (or that it’s too similar and not as good), people other than the artist will generally receive it with high praise. Maybe the audience is just happy there’s multiple works of art, or someone appreciates something you do differently from other artists, or maybe another artist is thrilled to finally see someone else utilize the idea they’ve been working with. Think: when you have an idea that you really like to see from other people, do you get upset when more than one person is working with the same concept? Of course not! That’s more of the thing that you like!

Of all the fandoms I’ve been in, the THSC fandom is by far the most welcoming and friendly one I can remember being in. Maybe it’s something to do with how small it is, but I’ve rarely come across issues here. (Though another part of it is being on tumblr rather than twitter.)

The THSC fandom is also among the most receptive to ideas that are uncommon, or even ideas that they may disagree with at first glance (especially when it comes to shipping, if that’s a thing you’re into). I’ve been in bigger and smaller fandoms that are a lot less welcoming to alternative interpretations.

Continuing from the above, the fact that the characters are stick figures means that pretty much any interpretation of the characters is allowed.

If you have OCs, share them! The fandom loves OCs here.

I don’t know if I have tips on the whole “not saying the wrong thing” issue, but the best I can offer is that people make mistakes. If you misphrased smth or someone misunderstood what you meant, clarify it as best you can. If someone is saying that something you said is bad, take a moment to process and understand what the person is saying rather than doubling down on what you said or immediately crumbling into an apology, then act accordingly. If you don’t understand what they’re trying to say, ask for clarification or an explanation. Sometimes you fuck up and an apology is necessary, but sometimes someone holds shitty beliefs or opinions and is imposing them on you. In general though, assume best intentions unless said assumption is disproven to you. (Conflict resolution isn’t a strong suit of mine, sorry.)

For some tips on actually sharing your art:

I highly recommend making a side blog for your art, if you don’t have one already. You can reblog it to your main, but by having a separate blog you make it easier for people to find your art.

If you’re just making for you and not making money from your art or doing requests, don’t feel pressured to keep a schedule. While it is good to have goals to aim for (for example, mine is just posting twice a month), when it’s not your job it can be hard to adhere to a strict schedule and it’ll just put stress on you. If you’re trying to transition to professional work then building up a schedule is necessary, but if not? Just post when you feel like it.

This isn’t the type of ask I expect to get from people, but I’m happy to help you out! I love seeing people take their first step into art and seeing new people in the fandom. Remember that the first step is always the hardest.

[theloverscardtarot]

I know you may not be willing to post this take but here goes. Woulda sent to Shamrock too but they must block unfollowers since I can’t send an ask. I have never been ‘’into’’ tarot but I will say I enjoyed the OG blog and for quite a while I did follow the more recent versions of accounts that posted Evan tarot content. And TBH I can say I never saw anything that I found ‘’problematic’’ – yes, I will admit some things were a bit less realistic than others but as far as I’m concerned it was in good fun and not something meant to be taken as an agenda of the OP. But as soon as Evan and Natlie showed that they were more than a one night stand, ya’ll lost the plot. Whether you mean to or not you are basically catering to the Rosa’s of the fandom and feeding into mental illness which is this obsessive nature of knowing about what they’re doing, feeling, whether they’ll be ‘’soulmates’’ eternally and that sort of shtick. You can’t say you’re not aware because I feel like multiple people have mentioned this to blogs including me, as a warning like ‘hey, not sure if you’ve realized but one of the most problematic people in the fandom is the one girl always in your ask box’. Those of us who have been in the fandom for a while know how Rosa types and can tell it’s her, it’s no secret. Multiple people sent it to them and also to Tweam. That’s why we’ve ‘turned’ on ya’ll, not because we hate you. I hate what this situation has become and who you’re feeding into with the obsessive posting. I don’t believe anyone deserves hate, trust me, but what I mean is you got to do better and be mindful of it all. There can be real consequences to playing with these unrealistic people emotions who want to know about E+N because they’re upset over the relationship. And even if you don’t post this at least you cannot honestly say someone didn’t try and talk sense into the situation because I liked you and Tweam and every other Evan fanpage that is normal and doesn’t stir the pot. Also you need to think about how you’d feel if strangers were constantly rooting against you and posting negativity day after day after day. Evan is human too, remember that. Anywho that’s off my chest now. Peace.

Hi anon. I absolutely understand where you are coming from. But, what I would like to say is that we are not intentionally trying to get Rosa and the others excited so they can do what they do. And we are also not rooting against Evan and Natalie. if the readings were actually read by you and other people, you would see that we always say we are not against anybody. The cards might be, but I always try to look for the good. Shamrock and Admin both have their disclaimers in big giant print saying to take tarot with a grain of salt and it's just for fun. I highlight in red that I don't know anybody, I just started reading and this is just what it is. I am not an OG reader and this is very new to me. So, it doea blow my mind when some of the same cards come up for all of us. Miles and countries away. If you don't believe in it, that is completely fine. No shade here.

Now, I understand that Rosa, Jackie, etc. all have tendencies. But they had tendencies before this blog, during this blog ,after this blog. Rosa posted an actual address of where Natalie was staying. She didn't get that info from any of us. She has plenty of platforms to get actual information from. I'm also not sitting here saying Natalie is a bad person. Actually I posted a reading on her that was very nice. We never say they are the end all, be all or not. Everything going on is something that can be worked out. Only they know what needs to be done. I've seen the Tumblr pages out there hating on Natalie and I don't condone that at all. In fact if you or TWEAM or whomever actually read anything on here, you would see we NEVER intentionally hate on Natalie. The cards say what they say and we are not joining forces to make shit up and "cherry pick" By the way, I see everything on TWEAMS page, blocked or not. Rosa ain't the only one with a burner account. As for Evan being a human. Yep, last I checked he was a human. He is not visiting Tumblr. That man doesn't touch social media with a 1,000 foot pole. Evan is more than capable of taking care of himself. If he or anybody he knows doesn't want to read these pages, they don't have to. Neither do you. 🤷 Listen, I understand your concern, but at the end of the day, people are going to do what they do despite a tarot blog. You are trying to do damage control on Tumblr where most everybody is anonymous and half the people are on here cause they are bored. I mean, me included. If I didn't have Tumblr tomorrow I would not cry about it. In the grand scheme of life, Tumblr is not the holy Grail. I don't believe your intention was to scare me or be unkind. But, what I can say is the asks don't scare me. This is a modicum of my life. I have deleted several posts because they were straight up Rosa hating on Natalie. If I posted anything of hers, I'm always clear that I won't tolerate the hate. I don't think you all "hate" us. But, for all the posts stating there's no tolerance of it over there, I'm still seeing a lot of it allowed. That being said, I respect your opinion. I have no harsh feelings towards anyone. Come to my blog or don't. Ask me anything. The only thing I won't tolerate is hate.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

How do you deal with an internet cyber bully/stalker?

It’s very difficult not responding at times but I’ve learned not to the past few days I haven’t responded and I just block every account I believe is theirs or know is theirs. They keep starting rumors about me and rallying other users against me to abuse me out of the trauma tags and luckily nobody fell for the smear campaign but it’s getting a bit obsessive and too much. Like they’re DMing me from multiple accounts tagging me on other accounts they have and claiming I posted bad things in the past on my account that I know I would never post….bc it’s not like my character to do the things they claimed I did. They’re saying I deserve the abuse. I’m scared and it’s caused me an anxiety attack already but I’m refraining from posting about them, refraining from responding, and simply blocking every time. It’s not like I sent nudes or anything so they don’t have anything to like threaten me with… I ignore them so idk what they’re doing bc I try not to look at any of their posts so idk everything they’re saying about me other than the threatening messages. I don’t post about them ever, like I don’t bc the one time I did post about them to prove to people I was being harassed I deleted it bc they threatened me with fake evidence against me…. So I post nothing publicly and never answer DMs. but I do DM friends online and tell them not to post anything public about it bc I don’t wanna piss my stalker off. They do claim they know things about me which is creepy. Idk that’s all. Get to this when you can no rush. Thanks for listening.

- Amanda

Hi Amanda,

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this. The best options are 1) continue to ignore/block, 2) report their posts/blog for harassment, and 3) get authorities involved if it continues. As frustrating as it is to see entirely falsified things being spread around, it can help to remember that anyone who falls for it lacks critical thinking skills, and as long as the accusations are truly false, you don't have much to worry about. Some people have too much time on their hands, and it sounds like you're dealing with one of them.

There are some people that are worth talking it out with, and some people that aren't. One time I was getting repeated hatemail from the same user who was upset by something I said but didn't express that. Instead, she told me that I deserved everything that happened to me and that her abuse is worse than mine, so I have nothing to complain about. When I blocked her, she made alt accounts and spammed my DMs. I'd block her, she'd make another alt, etc. I ended up blocking 12 blogs and I just thought it would go on forever, so I texted back saying "Wait, can you tell me what happened, what did I do to upset you" and then she explained that I said something that personally offended her. I apologized, she apologized, and I never heard from her since. But of course, there are people that double down even when you try to communicate and sort things out. But perhaps it's worth a try.

If anyone has other suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[fraberry-stroobcake]

Hey this is the creator of that tgc critical server you mentioned! I deleted the server.

Sorry for not pinging everyone in advance...

When I took on the project I was determined to see it through! Me and my friend were even talking about making a video essay of sorts to bring attention to everything on a larger scale. But it quickly became apparent that what I wanted to do was not something I could handle, both physically and emotionally.

With an injury limiting my online time and other irl negative stuff weighing down on me, the little things tgc did became too much. And like, I was scared to admit that to the group. To make a group dedicated to gathering evidence and Seeking Justice, only to realise you can't finish what you started... It was embarrassing! So I deleted the server and my blog.

I should've handled all of that better and treated y'all with more respect. It's what you guys deserved! But I took the coward way out. I'm really sorry about that.

hi! i’m so sorry, i didn’t realize! but i’m glad that we didn’t do anything wrong to get kicked. Although, i really wish you would let us help you. We are your support system, and even now if you want to you can reach out in dms to me for anything! I don’t think you took the coward way out, but i just want to assure you that we would Not think it was embarrassing if all of that was too much for you.

If you’re ever going to do something like that again (host a server), please have a few people you trust enough that you’d be willing to for example hand over the server to. I know you might still feel embarassed (even though you shouldn’t) and scared about doing that but that’s a decision that’s safer to take than to delete the server in a panic when you’re unsure what to do. Plus this was a group effort server where we were collecting evidence, and some people don’t have access to those documents and files anymore, which is a shame. But once again, at least I (wont speak for others but i’m sure they feel the same way) won’t blame you for admitting when you couldn’t do smth at that moment. I actually think that was brave for you to admit that to yourself, most people would keep going and going until they would break.

the reason why i’m also asking to hand the ownership to someone else in this situation is because i really care about memories and i’ve been in multiple situations where people have deleted years worth of messages in discord servers when they got rid of those, not even for any good reasons, but just because those servers were “dead” and they were bored, which is so so stupid to me, especially when i always make sure to let them know that if they feel like that i’ll be one of the volunteers to take the server into my own hands. But, that’s me rambling about unrelated things, it can go into its own separate post.

Please remember we are still here for you, and you at least know that i’m still here! And if you need support or reassurance, i’m not going anywhere! I hope you see this and i do hope it makes you feel better, i hope i didn’t say anything stupid that would upset you. I also hope that in case you wanted me to answer privately you’d let me know, because i will be posting this like a regular ask.. but take care please!

[foggyparadisecandy]

Tumblr Banning and Labelling

Last week, I made a somewhat snarky comment about how one of my stories - a pure text piece - was slapped with a giant warning by the Tumblr bots or moderators.

My position is that I don't need the warning - I agree that my stuff should be labelled with Mature Content warning and usually the Sexual Content sub-label.

I'm fine with that.

I 100% don't want people to inappropriately stumble across my trances or stories and be offended.

In fact, I wish there was a button that allowed all my posts to be flagged automatically that way so I don't need to remember to do it.

Because maybe I unintentionally and inadvertently posted my CAMPING STORY - admittedly horny and erotic and, yes, filthy, story - without the Mature Content tag. And I concede that I need to start using the Sexual Content tag and have started doing so.

But it put a chill in the air for me.

First, the fucking label (see image above) still persists when I look through my own blog. As if I disagree or something, and they are saying "we're watching you, buddy".

No, officer, no need. I was speeding and didn't mean to. Thanks for letting me know. I AGREE WITH THE LABELS.

Where's the button to "Accept this Label" so we can all move on?

Side note: I have no fucking idea what Mature Content is if it's not sexual. Like ... what are we talking about? Articles about dentures and retirement homes as "Mature Content"? Or is it just naughty words and not sexual scenes?

But then I saw another blog get taken down in the last week for violating standards of Tumblr. Now, I'm not going to name names here - I'm not a fan of the guy who was taken down and he has, at best, a mixed reputation in the hypnokink community - but the truth is ... his blog was not that offensive and most of his stuff was also labeled with the Mature Label.

I've read the new community policy multiple times. It basically says "label your shit and you will be ok".

Meanwhile, I see the filthiest porn WITHOUT ANY LABELS on my feed daily. Surely, I'm not alone in this?

Now I have no idea exactly why his blog was nuked - maybe it was adult material not being labeled properly? Maybe it was unauthorized use of copyright images? Who knows - apparently he was blanked with no warning. Again ... I don't know if that is truthful or not but it still is worrisome from a completely selfish standpoint.

Why am I writing content here if someday, on a whim, some bot or moderator will blank out my blog? I would hope that I could get a warning to fix the offending things - and I would do so happily as I am never intentionally looking to upset people. It's not my nature.

And tbh, it would bother me to lose Tumblr.

I keep a backup of every trance and article that I write because of historical purges but ... I really love connecting with all you here on Tumblr.

I chat regularly with a bunch of you and love our fun (and often horny) conversations! I feel connected with so many of you and it gives me a feeling of community.

Will I wake up some day and find that my blog is gone and I'm persona non-grata in the Tumblr-o-sphere?

My guess? Yes.

Hypnokink is already a thinly tolerated niche fetish and sexual stuff scares away the big advertisers and credit card companies.

Is Tumblr at fault for wanting to pay for their servers and people and other expenses? I don't think so. I certainly don't blame them for the labels and concern.

Again: I APPLAUD THE LABELS AND FEEL THE COMMUNITY SHOULD SELF-POLICE SO WE DON'T HAVE OUTSIDERS DOING IT.

But what's my personal path forward? I'm not sure but I think I need to investigate other homes for my materials.

I'll still post here to Tumblr ... until that day when you see ol' Foggy's blog has been nuked by the powers that be.

But I'm taking suggestions.

I know I'm not the only one who thinks about these things. Reddit? Literotica?

Would any of you bother to set up an account on another platform just to read my nonsense? I certainly wouldn't expect it nor ask it of you.

But I would love to stay connected with most of you if Tumblr nuked my blog. Maybe that's a dumb thing to hope for but it's authentic.

Bottomline:

I love you all and hope we can continue to connect here.

I worry about the future and finding my blog shut off with no warning or discussion or chance to fix the problems.

I am a planner so I would love ideas from folks who face the same concerns.

[hellfireheroes]

🎸 Hello! This is an Indie, Semi-Selective and Crossover/OC friendly 80s and Horror Multimuse! 🎸

I do not own any of the muses mentioned besides my own OCs.

I am aware of the actions of two of the cast members of Stranger things regarding real world events and I do not support or condone such behaviors.

Free Palestine.

This blog is a sideblog. All likes, follows and interactions will come from my blog (@scribsmcgee). This blog is also mobile bound but I will cut my posts and write multiple paragraphs and will do my best to fulfill any standards regarding your rules about lengths of posts and such.

This also explains why my gifs are different sizes and icons are different sizes. My apologies.

I am a Semi-selective blog which means I’m a tad picky on who I interact with. This also goes into unfollowing. If I unfollow you, I can’t see our muses working out anymore or our writing styles. Don’t take it personally, this is a hobby after all. This also means don’t drag me into bullshit if I unfollow you, I have my reasons. I have the right to follow and unfollow who I wish and the same goes to you. Remember boundaries are important folks!

This blog will contain canon divergent aspects for certain characters and verses. I will also be sprinkling in my headcannons for these characters and a few world building headcannons.

Crossovers are 1000000% welcome! I encourage you to throw your funny guys at my guys!! I will need some guidance on muses I don’t know though so be prepared to plot plot plot!!

This blog is mega 21+ given the content of the show and that I’m an old fart (23). I won’t hold back on getting into more heavier topics such as Child abuse and Neglect, Drug abuse, Alcoholism, Trauma, Other worldly body horror, Eldritch horror, Gun violence, Body violence, mind control, Misunderstanding and blackmailing of someone who is neurodivergent, The Mun is Diagnosed, (Not from the muses themselves but will be referenced in their bios), blood, gore and etc.

Seriously, if any of this shit above affects you, I urge you to proceed with caution. I’m not responsible if you get upset with the warning label above.

I will tag any and all references of more heavier shit with the tags below. If you need something tagged let me know and I’ll happily do so!

Examples:

Media.warning.blood

Media.warning.injury.

That being said, this blog will NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES write problematic content. None. I’m talking proshit and other nasty shit.

I mean it, don’t bring it in my house.

This blog Will however, write ships!

The ship I mainly write is Steddie but I am open to more ships.

The ships I will not write but will still take interactions on are:

Stancy

Hellcheer

Harringrove

I won’t write shipping content in any form with Minors.

For NSFW:

I am comfortable writing some NSFW but no hardcore stuff. Ask me what level I’m comfy with but I’m okay with some stuff.

I prefer not to list it here due to comfort reasons.

I’ll also say this here aswell. DO NOT GUILT TRIP ME OR MANIPULATE ME INTO REPLYING or FOLLOWING YOU BACK. I will not have that on my blog. Do not pull that with me I will block you.

For callout and cancel culture I’m a bit of a middleman. I don’t particularly like it due to its problematic history itself but I fully believe warning people about problematic and dangerous people in the RPC is a good thing! But there are often times alot of claims are bullshit and just make things messy for no reason other than petty disputes. I will 100% believe any accusations on anyone I interact with if there is proof of their shitty behavior or disgusting acts. I try to see things as innocent until 100% proven guilty and if anyone I interact with have such a history with disgusting things PLEASE LET ME KNOW WITH PROOF I AM VERY STUPID!

If you wish to warn me about a dangerous individual please don’t send me an anon all ‘hey so and so is bad’ and not give me any proof or what exactly makes them bad because I’ve had that happen before and it just makes you look silly friend. Again, Please provide proof for me.

Personals are allowed to follow and leave inbox messages if they don’t have rp blogs. However, They cannot like or reblog rp threads/ starter calls or inbox calls.

Personals attached to rp blogs are free to like starter calls and inbox calls! Just make sure your blog is visible in your description or let me know via inbox!

If I have used your content, via icons or headers and I have missed crediting you properly, absolutely let me know and I’ll fix it!

Thank you so much for making it this far! I know it’s a heavy read but it means a lot :]

This password isn’t necessary but I would appreciate it in my inbox to show you’ve read the rules!

‘CODE RED I REPEAT, CODE RED!’

[ray-talks]

2/18/24

today's restriction went well, actually.

i was able to not only avoid breakfast, but i also was not forced to eat a dessert my mom made. i evaded lunch through my plan. with dinner, i ate little and i purged it well. this day went much better than i predicted it would go, and for that i am glad. there is nothing much more notable today, other than i went to the bookstore, so this introductory paragraph will be brief.

i think something i must confront is my fear of death. it is natural and reasonable to have this fear. it is an inevitable cycle of life, yet it also is against our biological instincts to actively seek death. i am not in love with the concept of dying. although, i have wished for death many times, it is not like i find it particularly enticing. it is scary. how unknowable it is and how it could be harrowing. i do suppose that death is unavoidable. even if you don't die of old age, very easily you could die at any time. i could get into a car accident, i could develop cancer, i could even be brutally murdered. all of which i could not foresee or control. a lot of self-inflicted deaths can be agonizing and slow too. take for example, overdosing -- now, i have intentionally overdosed multiple times. often i hear people say that overdose (depending on the medication/drug) is a painful process. i think it certainly can be, but not necessarily. especially if it is bad enough, you'll usually fall into a coma. in that state, you will not be in pain, despite how much you would suffer to experience your organs failing, if you were conscious.

in my experience, my most lethal overdose i was unconscious the whole time. i did not experience the side-effects of overdosing. i was blissfully ignorant of the panicked doctors and my mom begging me to not pass away. it would have been easy to die there with no conflict in my mind, unaware that my death could be moments away. my worst experience of overdosing i was mostly unconscious, but occasionally, i resurfaced. i remember tossing-and-turning, grasping at my chest because i felt a sharp-pain in it that i couldn't shake off. i also was constantly throwing up. it did hurt. i couldn't even remember why it was that i was in pain -- no longer able to remember it was my fault. it's ironic that in my last post that i said i should have my restraint when i am describing my experiences, but oh-well. my lethal attempt was almost encouraging in an odd way, it made me think that death could be no different then falling asleep and never waking up, that it would be an easy process. i am not of a religious faith, so it would be quite acceptable for me to think this way. i worry that, at least for me, overdosing has a low chance of success, and i know that to be statistically true as well. therefore, i have to try something else, but i am well aware these methods could be more directly pain-inducing. i do not like the idea of being in excruciating pain -- again, that is scary and difficult to force yourself into, no matter how much you wish to die.

but it is something i will have to face, especially if my goal comes to fruition. i challenge myself to think about it more, rather than pushing it into the back of my head. i need to prepare myself, so it is less likely i'll chicken out of it. i need to be able to do it, and i need it to work. it may be some ways ahead -- but it could arrive sooner than i think. especially if instead of me succeeding, my plan falls through, which i don't like to think about; and yet, there is a fair chance of it happening.

i do apologize if this is all unsettling to read. i would ask of you to disengage with this blog, if it is triggering or upsetting, for your own sake. this is my only outlet, and that's not an excuse for my saying what i do here, but that is simply what it is.

regardless, to all who read this, i wish you a good day.

[stormcallsimming]

♦ Forget Me Not… (MSSS)

Theme: Forget Me Not

Challenge/Month: Monthly Simlit Short Story/March 2023

Genre: Angst

Word/Picture Count: 1,000 words/12 pictures

A/N: This is the first time in a long time that I’ve whipped up something for MSSS and I feel a bit rusty, to be sure. Why did this turn out as pure angst? I have no idea, that’s just where the prompt took me lol I also used Bluebells to represent Forget Me Nots because it’s the only blue flower that resembled it.

This is also the first new story that I’m posting on this blog. Hooray! Enjoy the unnecessary angst lol

_________________________________________

For as long as I can remember, there has always been a baby blue flower on my bedside table every morning. I have no idea where they come from and, when I asked my mom about it, she always said that I probably put it there and just forgot about it. At first, I was adamant that I had nothing to do with it, but she insisted. After years of being told this, I started believing it myself.

Was I sleepwalking? I had no idea, but it worried me because I knew it wasn’t normal. I tried staying up to catch the culprit multiple times, but sleep always claimed me. As I got older, life started to get harder and I started to forget about them, despite still finding them every morning. I was so focused on other things that the flowers became insignificant to me. I started to ignore them and they started to pile up on the table.

And then, one day, they just stopped. The flowers disappeared and no new ones appeared in their place. I was relieved at first but then I started to feel lonely. It felt like something important was missing from my life. It drove me nuts because I couldn’t figure it out. I became obsessed with trying to remember. My grades started to slip because I skipped class. My friends got tired of asking me to hang out only for me to tell them that I was too busy.

“If you want to be alone that badly, fine!” exclaimed my friend after turning down her invite again. “It takes two people to make a friendship work and I’m tired of chasing you.”

“I never asked you to chase me!” I snapped back.

But my heart ached as she stomped away angrily. For the first time in a long time, I was officially alone and it was my own doing. Why did I say that? Why did I push all of my friends away? I didn’t have an answer and I honestly felt like I was losing my mind but that forgotten memory kept clawing at the edge of my mind. It was just out of reach and every time I got close, it slipped farther away.

Eventually, I was kicked out of university, fired from my job, and kicked out of my apartment. I had to move back in with my mom which I absolutely hated because all we did was argue about the smallest things. No matter how hard I tried, she just knew exactly what buttons to press to upset me and there’s only so much a single sim can take before they blow up.

“Do you think you can manage to clean the attic this time or do I need to ask you five more times?” questioned my mother, giving me an attitude as she headed for the front door.

“I already told you, I didn’t clean it yesterday because I got called in for a job interview,” I replied, trying to keep my annoyance hidden to avoid another fight.

“Which you didn’t even get,” she scoffed, sending me a pitying look. “Try harder.”

I waited until she was out the door before I started to curse, releasing all of my frustration into the universe so it didn’t eat away at me. I had enough of that already.

With a sigh, I headed up into the attic and got to cleaning. I don’t think anyone had been up there in decades because everything was covered with a thick layer of dust. Cobwebs filled every corner and I could only pray to Gleb that there were no spiders lurking in the dark corners, waiting to pounce.

A few hours passed and I was nearly done cleaning when I came across a shoe box. It was shoved into the corner, half hidden beneath an old dresser. As soon as my eyes fell on it, I felt this… overwhelming sadness wash over me and I just wanted to cry. My hands trembled as I reached for the box and it took me a minute to steel myself before I could finally open it.

Inside lay a bunch of photographs. The rubber band that had been holding them together had broken over time, leaving them scattered around the box. I picked up the first one – it was a picture of me at the park, enjoying an ice cream cone despite it being the dead of winter.

I chuckled. Even back then I loved the cold. Some things never change, I guess.

I picked up another photo – it was me and my mom mid-argument. Yeah, some things really never change.

I shook my head, reaching for the third photo – it was a young boy looking for frogs. My brow furrowed in confusion. Who is this? From that angle, I could only just see the side of his face, but that pond… it’s near my house. I used to hang out there when I was younger, talking to the frogs.

Reluctantly, I set the photo down and picked up another – it was me and the young boy, standing side by side with our arms around each other and smiles on our faces.

It hit me like a freight train. Dylan Crowley, the only kid that made an effort to befriend me. He was my best friend, my only friend. The memories came flooding back to me, bringing with them a wave of sadness and pain. I remember now… Dylan died just a couple days shy of his 12th birthday. He drowned in that pond because he jumped in to save me…

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I shakily set the photo down. There was one left and taped to it was a dried, light blue flower. The picture was the two of us again but, this time, he was giving me the flower.

My heart ached as I cried out in pain. How could I have forgotten the most important person in my life?

____________________________________________

The house used in this fic is “Family Farmhouse” made by eggiebabe on the gallery with a few edits to better fit the story.

[tcclsblog]

https://www.thekchencholing.org/blog/conversations-with-my-guru-13/post/conversations-with-my-guru-74

Chapter 9: Meanings

In modern day communication training, we are told to be clear and concise. We use various means to check whether the person we have communicated with has understood our message etc. Over the years, I have realized that this expectation of communication that we, as a listener, often have does not apply to conversation with our Gurus. Does that mean they are not clear and concise? No, they are - but our interpretation of what we think we have heard them, makes a difference. 

The Catuḥpratiśaraṇa Sūtra states (of the Four Reliances): -

Rely on the message of the teacher, not on his personality 

Rely on the meaning, not just on the words 

Rely on the real meaning, not on the provisional one 

Rely on your wisdom mind, not on your ordinary, judgemental mind 

Rinpoche communicates in many ways, sometimes with silence as Buddha did, sometimes saying something to one person but in fact the message may be intended for someone else who is present. When people come to Rinpoche for advice, the interpretation of what he said and really meant often differs based on what others perceive. This can sometimes lead to misunderstanding as illustrated below.

A relative had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. This is a degenerative nerve disease and can either last for some time or can lead to death quite quickly. I was requested to bring him and his wife to see Rinpoche. We arrived at the Bukit Timah centre on a Saturday morning when Rinpoche was teaching a meditation class. We consulted Rinpoche and he listened and consoled him. I cannot remember the exact details of whether any pujas were recommended (I think so) but as they kept asking questions about what types of treatments to pursue etc, Rinpoche finally said, “Don’t worry so much, things will be okay in the end.” Rinpoche then asked them to join the meditation class. He instructed me to distribute the King of Prayers for all of us, including my relatives, to recite. I was puzzled. Why recite an aspiration prayer for rebirth in Sukhavati at a meditation class? It then dawned on me that this was Rinpoche’s way of ensuring my relative recited this extremely beneficial prayer at least once, before his passing. 

A few days later, someone mentioned to me that our relative had felt better after seeing Rinpoche. She said they were all glad to hear that he would recover based on what Rinpoche said. I was surprised at that, and said, “No, Rinpoche did not say he will recover, just not to worry and that it will be okay in the end. He made the class recite the King of Prayers, and that is most recited as an aspiration for someone who is dying or dead.” 

The different interpretations can be seen here: my relatives had taken what Rinpoche said to mean that there was a chance of a miraculous recovery. Yet, I did not hear Rinpoche say “you will recover”. 

Faced with knowing quite certainly what was to happen, I felt it was almost impossible for Rinpoche to tell them that death was imminent. My relative passed away less than six months later. 

This often happens when people ask Rinpoche for advice. Rinpoche, via either divination or other means, is often well aware of what is likely to happen. He then skilfully has to determine how best to communicate advice to us, we who are hungry to hear what we want to hear.  At times, his advice is misunderstood and people have been upset, with some even going to the extent of accusing Rinpoche of lying. To avoid such a situation where we become unhappy with our Guru's advice, a certain level of trust in the Guru - a conviction of his bodhicitta motivation - has to grow within us first before we utilise the Four Reliances to contemplate his words.

Tenzin

19 Dec 2021