#i relate to him on a personal level
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He's like me fr!!!
kazuichi souda has adhd: a masterpost
> tinkering calms him down and if he doesn’t do it for a while, he gets stressed.. stimming
> just completely changing the subject of a conversation cus he thought of something else
> has trouble reading/studying
> doesn’t like sitting and doing nothing for long periods of time
> quiet places bad
>also, the fact that he carries around a fucking wrench and freaks out when twogami takes it. that’s a comfort item.
in conclusion, ur fave is neurodivergent
#i kin him#i relate to him on a personal level#danganronpa kazuichi#IT HURTS Y’KNOW WHEN U RELATE TO SOMEONE SO MUCH IT HITS U PERSONALLY
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I project onto Sirius Black so much it’s unhealthy. No because staying up till 5 am every night reading fanfiction, thinking about him every waking second, bawling my eyes out until I get migranes, obsessing and chasing every possible AU and just heart break in general cannot possibly be good for me.
I somethings wonder if I should go see a cardiologist.
#sirius black#i project onto him too much#he is actually so me#wdym he doesn’t exist i am him#french sirius black#black family#black family drama#fucked up families#sibiling relations#family feels#i feel him#i relate to him on a personal level#marauders era#marauders
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MAL'S TOP SEVEN VILLAINS: #2. Kai Parker (The Vampire Diaries) "You’re right. I am a liar, alright? I’m the black sheep. You know, the defective twin that nobody wanted. Must feel real nice for you to stand here judging me surrounded by all the things that you got out of life, while I spent eighteen years in isolation as the family reject. Let me tell you, every inch of me wants to kill you for that. EVERY PART! But I can’t. Because the only way that I can survive is if you help me. And I’d like to live, frankly. Because I didn’t get to do a whole lot of that before everyone decided… that I wasn’t worth it."
#topsevenvillains#the vampire diaries#tvd#kai parker#gifs#thevampirediariesedit#tvdedit#tvdverseedit#kaiparkeredit#useramys12#tuserbelovas#addys-beth#userlolo#tusererika#teendramaedit#userblorbo#userthing#dailymysticfalls#tvdversegifs#chris wood#realized while making this that with all the moments i picked this gifset really doesn't make him look like a villain lol#which i actually think says a lot about his character#i mean he's not the only character on this list i sympathise with and kinda wish had a redemption but he IS the only one i personally#relate to on a very real level and who i think has the right to murder however many people he wants 🤷♀️#i mean his full name is MALachai#coincidence?#(also the caption quote is from a 6x15 deleted scene you can find on youtube if anyone was confused)
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i will never feel lonely ever again
happy birthday rui kamishiro from the hit game project sekai colorful stage featuring hatsune miku, you are my number 1 fav and kin and I will treasure you for a long time. Your ending will be a happy one.
#rui kamishiro#project sekai#project sekai colorful stage#prsk#prsk fa#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#digital art#illustration#fanart#my art#honestly rui is such an important character to me#relate to him on a personal level#been my fav for nearly 2 years#his journey to finding people who love and care for him#after being outcasted for so long#reminds me a lot of what i went through lol#still going thru it now tbh#anw happy birthday rui kamishiro#love you lotsss#edit 25/6/2024 dunno if i should consider this a fun fact or not but he was originally#going to hold the bouquet shown in the mv but i decided wxs gem flower pins were more meaningful#they're rlly precious to him#yorix art
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Just a little sketch of sleepy Spock.
Apparently, vulcans can go without sleep for as long as two weeks but I like to think that he's a long-sleeper.
#I like to think he's a night owl just because that means I can relate to him lol#but i feel like he could easily be a morning person considering his level of discipline#but definitely a long sleeper#sleepy Spock#does he kind of have duck lips?#Leonard nimoy is handsome#star trek#star trek tos#spock
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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would you be able to give examples/explain more about how race only impacts gideon in the tlt-universe? not being facetious or condescending, genuinely asking. thank you!
Hi anon! If you mean my tags to this post, I wrote
#earth conception of race doesn't impact any character in the series except the canonically brown main antagonist
By which I mean my Worstie and main antagonist of the series, John Gaius (PhD).
I don’t think TLT as a series engages with race in any especially meaningful ways. It’s set in a post-Earth society with entirely different social norms, and there’s no concept of race and ethnicity within the population of the Nine Houses. Physical descriptions of the characters are scarce to say the least, and they rarely spell out the kind of features that suggest specific racial connotations, because the POV characters don’t seem to think it’s something worth remarking upon. iirc, it takes until halfway through HtN for the narrative to confirm that Harrow has brown skin.
[See also Tamsyn’s GtN characters description post. It quotes passages from the book, and you can see how minimal the descriptions are, and she repeats several times that her characters’ appearances are up to the readers’ interpretations. It just doesn’t seem to be a big concern of hers]
Then there’s John, who grew up in twenty-first-century New Zealand and IS explicitly Māori in a way that absolutely impacted his character arc. It's not A major theme of his Nona chapters, but it’s there if you read between the lines. The boarding school he went to, which IRL had a high percentage of low-income Māori students on scholarship. The depth of his climate anxiety, his uncompromising “Nobody left behind” stance before the cryo project was halted, and his fervent hatred of ‘the trillionaires’ afterwards... these are all informed to some extent by his background as an indigenous man imo, and so was the global reaction to his developing powers. The “We were going to put you fellas in jail, weren’t we?” the way his initial attempts at publications are all flat-out ignored by the scientific community and dismissed as culty gimmicky faith healing until he leans into it.
John being Māori is just one of the many pieces of his backstory, and far from the most impactful to what eventually went down, but my point remains that he is the ONLY character in TLT whose racial background 1) affects his story arc and 2) is relatable to the audience. Everyone else is ten thousand years removed from Earth, and I’m just not very interested in using racial identifiers when exploring these characters and their dynamics, because the characters themselves don’t care and neither does the narrative.
#on a more hashtag meta level#John is why I’m personally uneasy about any analysis of the series that tries to interpret TLT through racial allegory lenses#especially when it’s weaponised for discourse purposes#You can write meta about John’s war crimes without comparing him to white imperialism#Or you can go ahead and do that anyway but I highkey disagree that it’s a fitting metaphor or in any way deliberate on Tamsyn’s part#and I think the implications are unfortunate to say the least#That said I AM extremely interested in the ways John relates to the culture he left behind#and why he made the choices he did when it came the moment to reshape humanity’s cultural consciousness after the Resurrection#but that’s on a character level!#I don’t think we can apply twenty-first-century social / identity labels to the series as a whole#especially a series where the author says 'I imagine X character as Y but it doesn't raelly matter'#and it doesn't influence the canon directly in any way#SORRY THIS IS LONG!#anonymous#ask#ejg#tlt thoughts#elle tlt posting#tlt
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I do think its really important to remember that SY was suppose to be the villain character but its only because of his kindness and newly gained life that he didn’t end as one. In the very beginning of the story we learn that Peerless Cucumber Bro often left comments on how SJ didn’t get his dues and needed to be punished more, and only after he transmigrated did he acknowledge how awful of a death SJ had. He also made point to explain that he only read the book for LBH, which he noted to enjoy his decisive actions and deft ability to kill. Markedly, he liked his brutality and personality over the erotica that the majority of PIDW fans enjoyed. Peerless Cucumber Bro is someone who loves action and the ability to cut right to the chase, something that he does not do and most likely has difficulty with in his world.
Speaking of, it is something to note that Peerless Cucumber bro is rich. He had head chefs, he could pay for a 6k+ chapter book of erotica in 20 days, he noted that he could not understand SJs envy and ambition for power since he lives well, and he even noted to himself that his family was well off. He is incredibly wealthy, and it shows. Which is important to note because he, not once, showed any guilt or remorse on dying and leaving his family behind. Yes, he sometimes refers to people as being similar to his family but he never showed any pain for losing that life like he did when he lost LBH. This is important because I genuinely think SY was depressed and self destructive to himself, which goes against popular HC that he was chronically/terminally ill (I do like this HC and like how its portrayed in fanfiction). It would explain how he ended up dying all alone by himself, and how blase he was to his own life and death.
SQQ is a self destructive force who ended up dying three times, and didn’t feel anything about death itself. He was worried about others and the effect it had on them, but for himself it was up and on again like it never happened. He does not care for his health, had self isolated as SY to the point he died alone, and has a horrible self esteem to the point that he continuously agrees when other people put him down and often calls himself the villain. Even though we have seen the evidence of someone who is always being thrust into new situations and awful plots, he calls himself lazy and easy going. He hides his thoughts and feelings behind his fan and has a remarkably thin face. At the very base of his actions and his thoughts, he is self destructive, powerful, and smart. This is the set up for a villain.
However, when shown the actual people in front of him and forced to act as SJ did towards LBH and his disciples, he flinches from it. He notes that it happening in front of him was different. His entire self soothing comedy monologue went quiet when he had to enforce the Endless Abyss scene, and grieved for the childish innocence he killed from one of his favourite people. SY was set up to be the villain and obviously thinks of himself as one, but can not act as one. If he had the choice LBH would have been his sticky sweet white lotus disciple for as long as LBH wished to be.
His kindness, as seen in the book, is what turned him from being “the scumbag villain” to the protagonist we see in the novels. Which, yes, he is a protagonist! He even has the protag halo that LBH has and its very funny in the meta way for SQQ not to realize this, but thats for another post. But he loves his disciples, he loves his peak lord siblings, he loves his Binghe, he loves his new life, and he is kind. That is what kept him from being the villain he sees himself as, his kindness and love for others. Whether that be romantic, platonic, or familial, he loves the people he has met and he treats them kindly. That is why it is important to remember that he was set up as the villain by everything in the story we do not see, but what we do see is him continuously changing the story to fit a new genre that lets as many people as he can save live. Sorry sorry, I just think about SY being set up as a villain so much. It changes a lot of views I have on the series when I remember the duality of SYs story and character development.
#SVSSS#scumbag self saving system#Shen Yuan#shen jiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#Meta#I think?? Haha I dont usually do metas but I dont know how to write fanfic for this series#so Im just writing down my thoughts on the characters#Like how if we see this from the PIDW characters POV SY is truly a villain#Its just something that makes me laugh because he is a villain just as much as he isnt!#what a wonderful complex character to write for. This type of story.#I wonder if Peerless Cucumber Bro would forgive me for writing meta about him?? I think he would be kind of happy but utterly disgusted#ew fans that actually think im complex even though Im a really simple person with no hidden motives -SQQ probably#I love this fucking idiot so much I relate to him on a spirtual level and think he was probably depress to the point of having A Plan.#if you know what I mean#because I still think him reading PIDW entirely in 20 days marks a special occasion for something and if its not for the final chapter...#Anyway#I love this stupid sweet potato of a character#Oh! New tag!#Sweet Potato SQQ#for archiving puproses on meta for him#Probably not good meta I didnt even add quotes or page numbers Im just talking out my ass from what I remember#Watch me write an essay on this lmao
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Jon: *describing what he was like when he was younger, explaining why it was hard to raise him*
Me: Oh. wow. No, that's me exactly. I- I didn't know other people were like that. Nice to know I'm not the only one.
Me: ...
Me: GUYS I'M NOT AUTISTIC. STOP
#/lh to be clear#Jon is weird bc we're extremely different people#but there are some places where I relate on a fundamental level#and then I go on here and all of you are like 'Jon is autistic bc xyz'#and it's all the reasons I relate to him#very few of you have referred to me as autistic#my irl friends keep asking me to get tested though#don't think I am#just heavily adhd/have personality quirks#idk who knows#jon sims#tma jon#jonathan sims#tma#the magnus archives
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mister laios dungeon meshi…. as an autistic person, i dont think ive ever related more to a character before.
like laios being so disinterested by the human world around him, unable to understand it and growing bitter towards humans because of how much and how easily they hurt. with monsters theres a Reason for what they do — its all survival, and that makes sense. humans, however, hurt just to hurt. all the suffering that he and falin went through have been because of humans. why would he like them? why would he ever be interested in them? he and falin have Never been afforded being seen as humans.
i feel like, with laios, he likes who he likes, and he doesnt really think about people he doesnt like. sure they exist, and he knows and acknowledges this, but theyre not his. the only humans that really matter to him are the ones that hes grown attached to. hes very compassionate but thats because its in his nature. if he wasnt a kind person at heart, i dont think he’d bother with people at all. that kindness is such a core part of him.
if he were in the modern world i just KNOW that guy wouldnt care about a career or school or even all these supposedly human aspirations that people have-- these long term goals, these big lofty ideals. he would just care about the day to day. working to ensure theres a roof over his head and food on the table. reading about monsters. having dinner with his friends. making sure his loved ones are all doing okay. and i can just imagine people being like "but dont you want... more?" and laios being so confused. why WOULD you ever want more? why would he ever want to give himself to the rat race? be exhausted constantly? work towards a goal that only other people view as worthy? why, when what he has right here is exactly what he wanted!! laios doesnt have these "human" desires and thats a core part of why he feels so alienated from other people. so different. like a monster himself. and as someone who is autistic, let me just say.….. me too buddy.
#dungeon meshi spoilers#dungeon meshi#sorry this was in rhe drafts while reading andi just#as an autistic person i relate really hard to him#this is just how i view and read him btw which doesn’t need to be said but#im saying it anyways HEHE#i just. biting him#hes so compassionate like its in his nature but yet hes so disinterested#and its not out of a lack of caring bc like i said he cares very deeply in his core#its just. anything outside of his immediate bubble barely exists#he literally cant remember kabrus name bc kabru never made that deep impression on him#like what he did impart is very surface level and laios may not comprehend that on rhe surface but yet he still Knows it and Sees it#i want to talk more ab him. forever and ever#dunmeshi#dunmeshi spoilers#laois touden#tagging so more laios fans come to me. i need people to talk ab him with
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oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh
so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.
why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.
and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.
so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.
it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.
like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!
and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)
(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)
#man the way its lovely reunion but tjen ajax fucking ATTACKS IT ON SIGHT you couldve gotten married!!!!11!1 fucking unbearable i am in agony#anyway contrary to popular belief we still have no fucking clue whether ajax' link to the narwhal was innate#skirk saying the traces remain on him after meeting it isnt saying tht much. the parts he shares w it couldve well been innate but dormant#instead. also just the fact that he woke it up already shady#then like. monoceros caeli being his from the beginning is completely plausible despite ppl acting like its been confirmed his const change#and like them being halves of the same entity on some lvl would make the narwhal being so weak without him n until ajax found it again#make very much. sense. anyway ajax toxicity jokes aside if the narwhal was just trying to eat him point blank without even a hello#i do get why hed react aggressively. but also bros been telling everyone n their mom hes fighting his narwhal the seconf he finds it again😔#so i feel somewhat confident in assuming he started that 40+ days brawl#anyway if ajax Isnt the celestial narwhal on some level or possibly becoming it as their link grows.#riddle me this atheists. why is his 3rd phase boss theme. the song about His individual murderous rage at us#bc he thought he was outplayed by us. His personal wrath#whys the song for that called the wrath of the celestial narwhal. of the star swallowing whale. Hmmmge. his individual rage.#why does tusk of monoceros caeli speak of him embracing the narwhals innate qualities as embracing mere parts of Himself#funny how tjat goes!! (the OST n boss drop is not 100% serious theory but it does drive me insane. bc why would they phrase it like that)#anyway either theyre 2 halves same original entity or theyre soulmates idgaf . they should fold teyvat in half and eat it for brunch#aaand im going to be consumed by this realization for the next month wish me luck#WHY DID IT NEED HIM THERE SO BADLY???? HUH??????#i mean relatable dont we all. but its sooooooooo inch resting. Curious indeed#rambles#genshin#childe#childeposting#narwhalposting
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Can I just add that Zuko is much much more than his romantic relationships? Like forget Zutara, Maiko, Jinko, or even Zukka. They're all great ships, don't get me wrong, but the way Zuko picks himself up every time he falls and eventually ended up being close to azula's equal in the final Agni Kai, should be talked about more. You have to remember that he was considered a very dull kid compared to azula, his talents paled in comparision to her, he didn't shoot blue lightning like she did, yet he was able to sustain the fight for SO long that even azula began to feel inferior.
He was born as a "dull" kid with "no spark" according to ozai, he was a considerably slow learner compared to Azula, and had to work twice as hard as her to get to azula's "basic" level. He had to watch as his sister was being put in a pedestal and most likely had to listen to people badmouthing him as being "not worthy" enough to be a ruler.
Yet he never gave up?? It's easy to give up in his situation considering that he'd been belittled by his dad and sister his whole life, heck, he'd been PUBLICALLY humiliated by him. Yet he had the resilience to prove his worth.
He has a backbone of fucking steel that really inspires me tbh.
#Like I relate to Zuko's personality in scary levels. I am also considered a dull child with “no spark” within me#I wasn't a fast learner or had natural aptitude for stuff that many people had. People told me that they saw no passion or “fire” in me.#And some of my cousins are exceptionally talented and bright like azula#And I've always had low self esteem because of that#But seeing Zuko reach the heights of success by never letting those insults belittle him is just great and improved my perception#Makes me happy knowing that so many people in the fandom really like a character who's morally similar to me#atla#avatar the last airbender#prince zuko#atla zuko#zuko#aang#sokka#katara#toph beifong#the gaang#princess azula#azula#iroh#uncle iroh
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hello. it is i, your friendly neighbourhood goblin that pops up every now and then to scream about something new.
i love damien haas.
this has been a psa.
#i just made a very long post about parasocial relationships and saved it in my drafts because i just needed to sort my thoughts out#never meant to publish it and never will#but it was about damien and youtubers and streamers and how they're Different and harder to deal with than like tv stars#i mean well duh but i've not been into that many youtubers like this. there's dan howell and drawfee and geoff castellucci#and none of those was to the level i've had with traditional media celebrities#but anyway i talked about him and i also just needed to scream into the void about how much i love him and how much i relate to him#and how seen he makes me feel#and safe#like i for real wish i could be his friend and tell him how awesome he is (and also like. so fine)#how parasocial of me#but i dealt with that in The Post That Shall Not See The Light Of Day so no tangent on that#also i have realised that nearly every time i've been really ADHD hyperfixated on a real person on here i've also been real limerent#like it's not just a crush it's limerence baby!#and i need to work on the underlying issues there#but that was also addressed in The Post so it's okay#but yeah i was psyched to learn about the concept of limerence#it me! every time!#internal monologue#damien haas
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I am a strong supporter of the "kaiser fixates on his mother as an actress/on other troubled female celebrities" concept on the basis of him having mommy issues as well of him being flamboyantly queer and drawn to femininity
#bolo liveblogs#blue lock#bllk#michael kaiser#I really liked @glue-thief's post about kaiser and female celebrities lol#I'm not even gonna argue about the queerness bit here you either see it or you don't#but I've got a veryyy specific headcanon about kaiser having over a decade to project all sorts of things#on his mother as she's portrayed by the movies she's in (which are mostly directed by her abusive husband/his abusive father#so they can't escape him/he mediates their relationship even when he's not physically present)#and what that might do to his brain.#at the most basic level kaiser's canonical self-image as the impossible blue rose speaks to an ability to assign a *lot* of meaning#to relatively small things as well as his own personal mythology#which I don't think the way he relates to his mother who automatically gets to be his favorite parent#on account of *not being there* to abuse or disappoint him is exempt from!#on another note I am a femmemasc kaiser truther and I believe that#the relationship between a flamboyant queer and their emotional support tragic woman they've never met is sacred
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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Because of the implication that Karlach didn't know any of the more devious shit Gortash was doing while she was employed by him, I HC that he sold her at a point where he couldn't be as covert in his private dealings. Like it was a point where she clearly was going to be a liability and she's good. Too good. Like to her core.
And there isn't a whole lot different between himself and the tiefling rascal he took in so she could support the parents she loves so much. I think that at a certain point he'd just be kinda aggravated because, to him, her view of the world is so idealistic. I like the idea of him having a little bit of petty jealousy, but I can't see that being the motivator for the sale. I think he really believed she was strong enough to handle it - because he was strong enough to withstand the hells - and wanted her to be humbled, in a way. he needed her to have a taste of the real world, so to speak, because his understanding is that it's a cutthroat world and all people are pawns, regardless of age or relation.
that's not a way karlach can live tho
and then she comes back, broken, sure. she has her whole thing where she can consume the soul coins, which ultimately has her viewing lost souls as tokens/pawns in the way gortash sees all people, but she clearly struggles with it and it wasn't a choice she made, but something zariel pushed on her so she could survive.
regardless, karlach's optimism is unwavering and she's still so vivacious. She's angry, understandably so, she has scars, she's done shit she isn't proud of, but she, herself, was never corrupted. when she escapes, she immediately goes full hero mode, she just has the burden of the soul coins to bear bc NO ONE can come out of that situation completely unscathed. and remember the types of friends she made in the hells!!! her one only helps her if it comes with a double-edged sword. despite that, she doesn't prevent it from allowing her to bond with the companions.
so she comes back proof that you can go through what Gortash did and come out mostly in tact. you may be hurt, she shouldn't have HAD to go through that, but she's fighting for a better future for herself (even if that means dying to not return to avernus). Unlike Gortash, she doesn't need to bring the world to heel to pay for the cruelty it showed her.
in fact, everything she went through just makes her appreciate the little good in her life even more and motivates her to aggressively protect her friends.
#bat rambles#karlach#sorry for the repost i had a few things to add re: soul coins#i also am thinking abt gortash a little more and like#he's kinda pathetic in a way i'm not even sad for him about#but he is so desperate to be loved imo#not quite to the levels of Raphael's narcissism#but up there#like it was A Choice to set it up so he'd be viewed as the hero of baldur's gate#protecting them from the Evil's of the Absolute#the one person who can protect them only to be the one to sell them all out#just a mirror of what he went through y'know#the writing in this is so solid you can just see so many things that relate to one another#they're all so entangled
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