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oneoftheprettynerds · 4 years ago

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Just My Type: Dark!Steve x Reader (Mob AU)

Chapter 2 in the Lipstick and Crayons Series.

Chapter 1: Welcome to the Darkside

Main Masterlist

A/N: This chapter is 2K words more than the last chapter and I’ve second guessed every single line in this one. This story is getting a lot of traction guys and I’m equal parts happy and scared. Thank you for the nice comments, they do encourage me. Also I’m just ranting feel free to skip this note haha. Your support in any form: like, comment or reblog is appreciated greatly. Also you can dm if you want to be friends, God knows I need those. Hopefully, this chap was worth the wait. Also, I made a poster for this on the main masterlist so check that out, it might be foreshadowing dome plot.

Warning: Eventual Non-Con, Sickening Threats, Mob Themes, Violence, Death, Manipulation, a mild mental breakdown, Cheap Tricks later.

Genres + Characters: Mob AU, Single Parents AU, Steve Rogers x Reader.

Summary: Steve can't ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can't get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob.

Chapter 2: Just My Type

It had almost been a week since the incident and you had barely gotten a wink of sleep. When you drove back to your house that night, Steve surprisingly didn’t argue as you had expected. After that friend of his whispered something in his ears, you only assumed he was needed elsewhere and you couldn’t be more thankful for that. They escorted you to your car and Steve thanked you with a strained smile, words genuine but eyes calculating. You didn’t even wonder what went inside his head. You were thankful for the peace and quiet of your own car, content to just get out of the area and into your humble abode.

After you put the already asleep Grace to bed, you couldn’t bring yourself to get out of her room. You just sat on the floor beside the bed, hand intertwined with hers as you rested your head beside her tummy on the mattress.

Your adrenaline wore off and your limbs ached as your thoughts finally settled into place, the gravity of the catastrophe a few hours prior hitting you. Tears made their way down your cheeks as you realized that you both could have very well died tonight.

One bullet could have sealed each of your lives and you were basically defenseless had Steve not saved you against the creeping assaulter. You couldn’t commend yourself for even defending yourself against one attacker, the guilt of killing someone harboring in your tired head. Your quiet whimpers eventually wore you out, while Grace’s shallow breaths lulled you to sleep.

You didn’t manage to sleep for long though, every time your eyes closed, horrific images flashed in your mind. A blood curdling scream here, heaps of dead bodies there, with distant exploding sounds all around. You could see men clad in black holding guns to Grace’s head and whensoever you woke up, you just wondered how much more creative your mind could get, making these visuals so realistic.

When 8 AM rolled in, you didn’t wake Grace up even though it was Monday and you had work. You got up, changed into a long tee after a shower and called your office and then her daycare. You knew you would have a hard time going back to your normal life, to become trusting enough to leave her alone.

Your assumption about yourself was right. You took almost the entire week off, which your boss generously allowed you to after hearing your traumatic experience, which soon made the city news headlines. All your colleagues checked on you, almost once in the five day break you took, and sweetly enough offered to bring you anything you needed.

It was kind of them, but none of them could bring you what your heart genuinely craved: peace and assurance that you and Grace would be safe.

Even though Saturdays were off, you did go to work to see what you missed and where to start on again. You went in because you knew that the random spurt of resolution you got in the bathroom to collect your life, wouldn’t last.

To ease back into your normal life, you gathered your guts, called a babysitter and left home. You couldn’t bring yourself to leave Grace at the daycare just yet. One of your good friends offered to come in to the office and help you, even on the weekend and you were quite grateful to him.

When you both decided to take lunch in the nearby dining place, you both got to talking, the conversation obviously originating from ‘How have you been?’ and ‘Is Grace okay?’. You reminisced about how you used a photobooth to hide, grotesquely and uncomfortably chuckling when you remembered Sarah calling you her mom and how her dad saved you all.

You deliberately left the part where you killed someone and Steve shot someone too. You hadn’t come to terms with it yet and you stiffly restricted your mind whenever it tried to go down that lane.

He sensed how the conversation was becoming tense and distressing for you and briskly redirected the topic.

“I hope the dad was hot though?” He wiggled his eyes creepily and you snorted at his vulgarity, light for the first time in days.

“He was easy on the eyes; I will admit that.” You played along, recalling your girlfriends and how you used to ogle people.

“Don’t be a homewrecker though, I don’t support cheating.” He said nonchalantly, checking his phone as a notification bell rang off.

“He’s a widower.”

His eyes snapped up and met yours as his head tilted in confusion. “That’s a strange fact to know about someone you met for a few minutes.”

Steve’s even stranger comment about his dead wife popped in your mind and before you could stop yourself, you blurted that out as well.

“He even said and I quote, ‘She deserved what she got.’” He put his phone down, weirdly amused.

“Ooh Creepy! Do you think he is one of those husbands who kill their wives and bury them in the backyard? The podcasts always say that the psychopaths are visually handsome and charming. And his statement was quite vague and spooky.” He continued munching, and you felt that now Aiden was really paying attention unlike before.

“Steve did have a gun while searching for Sarah, come to think of it.” You drank your tea and awaited his response. What you did not expect was his eyes to widen and worry to cloud his features.

“Um Widower Steve with a toddler Sarah? At the place where The Vices attacked?” He mumbled, grabbing his phone and doing God knows what on it. Your eyebrows furrowed and before you could ask him what was up with his antics, he resumed.

“This is a long shot but I really hope your Steve didn’t look like this.” He positioned the phone in your vision, and you could already tell it was Steve by the sapphire blue of his eyes piercing through the screen into your soul. The picture was a month or two old, his hair was much longer when you met him than in the photo.

“This is him.” Your eyes met Aiden’s and worry visibly took over his features as his forehead creased and jaw tense.

He looked around the restaurant, finding it empty in the afternoon. He leaned and whispered, “This Steve of yours is dangerous.”

You interrupted Aiden, even though you already knew Steve was, the sight of his armed men still fresh in your head, and inquired, “Why do you say so?”

“It’s just like the fictional stories we hear from our parents, except here, in this city of ours, every myth holds true. There are really powerful men, untouchable by law, who reign the city silently and live luxuriously. Every shady, under the table deal you’ve heard of, transpires. Illegal trades, fraud schemes and bounty hunters are not fictional, they exist here. These men kill whatever hinders them and trust me, you don’t want to be the deer caught in their Jaguar’s headlights.”

Ice froze in your veins again, resembling the fear you felt that night but now because of your deemed ‘savior’. You convinced yourself that you had not wronged him in any way, instead had saved his daughter’s life.

“Are you in contact with him? If you are, distance yourself cleverly, don't block him immediately.”

“No, we just parted ways near my car, he thanked me for Sarah and was called away. It’s almost been a week and he hasn’t reached out if that’s what you mean. We didn’t exchange contacts and I don’t think I even told him my full name.” You explained yourself as if you were on the witness stand in court, trying to convince yourself more than Aiden.

“Pray that he doesn’t remember you more than that, if at all. I’m being totally honest here in telling you this, I’m genuinely worried for you and Grace. You are smart but he is powerful. He has unimaginable resources and if you become more than a speck of dust on his windshield, you are screwed. There is no exaggeration here.” You took his words to your heart and swore to be careful, if not for yourself then for Grace.

The rest of the day went by and you found yourself dwelling on and worrying about Aiden’s words. At least he put it out there as it was. Heeding his advice, you did google Steve on your phone, finally finding him in the topmost news headline when you added ‘Buck’ in the search bar as well.

‘With 38 lawsuits pending against businessman Steve Rogers, the filers have lost all hope in prosecuting him. All cases are being drawn out for indefinite periods of time by the Chief Justice Bruce……’

Aiden was right.

Businessmen was code for illegal mob heads. Cases being stretched on meant he was, in fact, invincible, at least to the common man’s fists.

You flickered through several titles, each one more surprising than the last. He was believed to be involved in the carnival attack, alleged for three hit and run cases that he didn’t lose but the witnesses swore they saw him driving and was also rumored to have brought in quintals of drugs just last week, but the packets just evaporated into thin air and there was no proof of their existence in the first place even on incessant searching.

Every crime of his made you shudder and you mentally thanked Aiden for pulling you out of your oblivion. Your mind raced and heart palpated and you cursed yourself for being so drastically unaware even after living here for almost four years. Technically speaking, Steve and you were even, him saving your life and you saving his daughter’s. No logical reason came to your mind for him contacting you ever.

You wished as Aiden said and assured yourself that your paths would never cross again, Steve not having reached out in a week, so hopefully never again.

That thought went out the window when you reached home to find a box awaiting you. Hannah, the babysitter you had called, informed you it came around 5 in the evening and was exclusively to be opened by you today.

Your mind raced as you paid the babysitter, your hands sweaty as you tried not to think about the gift and its sender. There was an apparently clear answer to who mailed it but you refused to accept that, courtesy of Aiden.

The box was of the height of Grace, it was black with red hearts painted across it; some red roses also sparingly adorned it. You opened the lid and found tons of red tissues and a multi-flower bouquet adorned with mostly red roses and a few purple and pink flowers.

Because of your frequent gardening in your backyard, you knew all the flowers’ meanings. To sum it all up, red flowers, especially roses were used for courting someone. Pink meant admiration, purple for beauty and you knew the ‘violet’ flowers were for loyalty.

As your nerves increased tenfold, you willed yourself to get it over with and empty out the box first, ignoring the little card in your bouquet, saving the ‘best’ for last. You find a mini bouquet inside but unlike yours, it had chocolates of every kind. You did read its card and cringed when it was for Grace, bothered not by the deed but by the doer.

Further inside were some animal plushies, face masks, perfumes, scented body lotions and shampoos. Your head hurt thinking about the ‘single mother care package’ delivered to you by someone you refused to acknowledge.

As Grace sat in her playpen occupied, you dared to pick your card and read its message, your heart beating unrealistically fast for someone who refused to accept the cruciality of her situation.

I can’t thank you enough in this lifetime for saving my little princess. The gift of your help is more than anything money could ever buy for me. Please accept this invitation of mine for dinner tomorrow night, 7PM at La Bonne Nuit, as a symbol of my sincere gratitude for everything you’ve done. I’ll gets the kids covered and pick you up, you just be ready and look as amazing you always do. Sincerely, Steve Rogers

You stilled as you read it over and over again.

An invitation, your ass. Even in writing his authority portrayed, there was no question and hope for you coming, he just stated that you’d come. Looking pretty as always? You just met him once, in the middle of a calamity, covered in dirt and blood.

All the red roses and gifts screamed his romantic interest but you illusioned yourself into thinking they meant gratitude. You wouldn’t be able to digest it all otherwise.

Knowing what you knew now about Steve, you understood there was no denying the dinner tomorrow. You had to get out of his clutches and distance yourself, but as Aiden had so rightfully said, cleverly.

That night you laid in bed mulling over your next course of actions. You had called the gift shop to return the unwarranted presents you received but they said it was non refundable and anonymous to trace. You bitterly snorted in their face, they put a card with Steve’s name on it for heaven’s sake!

You didn’t flinch even when you realized you never gave Steve your address, neither for mailing stuff nor for picking you up. There was no number given to call him and thank or to call him and deny. The bastard had planned it all out, and you felt like you were driving in a one way lane, going deeper into the tunnel. Somewhere among your all-relentless fretting, you managed to finally sleep.

When the doorbell rang, your eyebrows furrowed. It was just 6 PM and you weren’t expecting anybody else except for Steve. You had already begun getting ready, having developed a habit of keeping an extra margin of time now having a toddler. You still had to assemble Grace’s essential backpack, fill it with her meds and bottles.

While still putting on your diamond earring, you made your way to the door, unlocking it to find a redhead grinning at you. Before you could interact with her, a small body clung to your legs and you looked down to find the azure eyed kid that put you in this mess, Sarah, smiling up at you.

“Mama! You look pwetty!” She looked up in awe and now aware that she didn’t have a mother, you were even more so coerced into accepting this title rather than telling the kid that 'you are semi orphaned'.

“I’m Wanda, Sarah’s nanny. Mr. Rogers told me to pick her friend, Grace, up for the night?” So, this was what Steve meant. Bringing Sarah was proof enough of her legitimacy, but behind her you saw ‘Buck’ salute you from the driver’s seat of the black car. One of these days, you needed to learn his real name.

You invited Wanda inside and Sarah ran to Grace immediately, grabbing and whining while asking Grace to give her some popcorn she was munching on, her fist generously full.

In your open plan kitchen, you grabbed two plastic bowls, filled them with each with the tub of popcorn that sat in the microwave and handed each toddler one, fortunately quietening Sarah. Sarah obeyed Grace, in first thanking you, their ‘mama’ and then following her to her open playpen.

You faced Wanda again who sat on a barstool and kept on beaming. If your annoyance at her amusement showed, she sure didn’t let it falter the smile.

“Mr. Rogers told me you’d worry about your daughter, but I assure you she’d be in more than capable hands.” All you could focus on was how self-reassured she was. “I’ve served him for almost two years, the last family I served, I was there for 8 years and before them, I was employed for 3. I know the general bedtime and snacks, all I need from you is information about her allergies.”

You nodded and told her about Grace, her meds and what all you packed. When you got to know that her family owned the daycare Grace went to, you were finally somewhat convinced. After seeing them off, it was about fifteen minutes later, that the devil disguised in Prada showed up at your door.

You grabbed your purse and your keys. Wiping your sweaty palms on your dress, you opened the door. Steve stood there, a smirk lodging on his handsome face. His blue, three-piece suit perfectly paired with his cerulean eyes was impressive to say the least.

He was dressed to kill, and it appeared as if you were his first victim.

As your eyes took him in from top to bottom, his did the same lazily, taking their time, resting at certain places for longer period than others.

“You look stunning.”

You knew you did. You wore one of your more expensive dresses when you found out La Bonne Nuit to be one of the few seven-star hotels in the country. In hindsight, if you’d have dressed worse, maybe he’d have left you alone.

“Thank you.”

“Shall we?” He offered you his hand and you obliged with your palm in his. Your other hand pulled the doorknob while you stepped out, all alarms already set-in place. He waited while you locked and put the keys in and when you were done, with a soft kiss along your knuckles, he pulled you along.

The act surprised you, your stomach turning and your gut wrenching and you wondered if you’d be able to process the food after all, with your upset digestive system.

Like a proper gentleman, he opened the door for you and when you settled, he took his position at the driver’s seat. The silence was painful for you, your overthinking finally filling ideas in your head that you avoided contemplating about all day, focusing on Grace.

He was relaxed though; his humming was proof enough.

Mid way through, your thoughts were rudely interrupted when a hand housed itself on your knee. You glanced to find Steve’s palm slightly rubbing your knee. If it was meant to be assuring, you certainly didn’t feel like it.

You frowned and looked up to Steve who still had the arrogant smirk on his face, eyes straight ahead on the road, giving no indication of his inappropriate touching.

You wanted to swat his hand away but a brainwave dashed through your head and a disturbing thought made you halt, that whether he carried guns to restaurants as well, since carnivals were no big deal.

You ignored his hand and continued looking outside, pretending to ignore it as well as he did. Your scowl was a huge giveaway though.

You didn’t know that, but when your eyes found their way out, his finally rested on your face, the smirk growing even more.

Thankfully, apart from the incongruous touching, the dinner went okay-ish. The food and wine were impeccable, perfect even, the restaurant on the hotel’s top floors was so picturesque. You tried to savor your one-time experience there, knowing you’d no way be able to come back there.

Well, you tried to relish as much as you could while your mind still sat there, wary of the human in front of you. If you’d ignore your journey here, Steve was nothing short of a true gentleman, often making you wonder if you had imagined his hand on you.

This ‘friendly’ date you were having was probably one of the best you have had, he had left no expenses. He appeared to be interested in your work, about your childhood and about Grace’s but you swiftly avoided his questions about her father. He was growing a tad bit too comfortable for your liking and you still refused to entertain the idea that this was a ‘date’ date.

When you were finally onto dessert, the last course of your meal, your table was shadowed by the broad frame of a brunette and his date. He clapped Steve’s shoulder and Steve rose to hug him, you awkwardly smiled.

“It’s been far too long since you’ve been here, Cap. Why don’t you and your gorgeous date stop by my penthouse for a bit? We could finally go over the papers you sent me, in person?” He winked, they discussed something more and then went away, his date bowing and trailing after him as well.

Steve claimed his seat again, and finally told you about the interrupter. “That was my good friend, Tony Stark, always in a hurry. I’ll introduce you to him when we meet him later.”

“I think I’ll be heading home; you need not worry about my introduction, I hardly think we’ll ever run into each other again.” His eyes narrowed and you clarified, “Me and Mr. Stark, I meant.”

That’s good, don’t associate yourself with more of his kind.

“He was so kind in inviting you though, it would be rude to refuse.”

“It’s already late, Steve. And I’ve never left Grace alone for a night yet. What if she’s antsy? What if she is bothered? What if she feels unsafe? She's only used to very few people, and after last week, I-” You had started the sentence hoping to use Grace as an excuse but every word of yours succeeded in making you more apprehensive.

The carnival night flashed in your mind, along with the nightmares and you started panicking even more. Your hands clammy, your dessert spoon fell in your lap as sought your phone in your purse, hoping to call Wanda for an update. You felt like a terrible mother, who left her child with a stranger, only a week after she suffered trauma, just to go on a date with a mobster.

Steve reached across the table and grabbed your fidgety hands and as you wriggled to get your hands free, he softly called your name. Voice stern but vocals gentle. Your blurry eyes snapped to meet his while he guided you to breathe deeply, in and out.

His firm hold convinced you to listen to him, you’d never free yourself of them otherwise.

When you had calmed a bit, he withdrew his hands and fetched his phone. Your thoughts slowed down, and you wondered if anyone here was judging you. Your little scene, mercifully, went unnoticed by the other affluent people dining here.

Steve handed you his phone where four colored frames rested, the screen showing you Grace and Sarah cuddled in a frilly, pink four poster where Wanda sat too, her lips moving.

The feed was live and the screen muted, both the toddlers’ eyes fluttering close slowly, on the bridge of sleep.

You handed the phone back to Steve and drank your water while he rubbed circles on the back of one of your hands. You never freaked out like you did right now, always collected and never giving into anxiety. What had happened to you?

Well, In your defense, you had never experienced a disaster either.

“The kids are safe; I’m never putting either of them in harm’s way ever again.”

Your mind did catch the plural in his statement but you promised yourself you would not let it get that far and continued drinking your water, emptying the entire glass.

“The HD image you just saw was by cameras Tony recently developed. His technology is amazing, I’ll take you to his lab sometime.” You appreciated his attempt to redirect the topic but you also focused on how tech-savvy his friends were as well.

You hummed and agreed, trying to be ambiguous with your answer.

When you finished your dessert, you hoped he’d forget about his ‘friend’ Tony but to no avail.

“His penthouse is two floors above. He owns this hotel as well in case you didn’t notice.” He led you to the elevator as you recalled the Starks Group logo you saw earlier sometime.

Some AI named Jarvis opened the elevator doors for you in the living room of Tony’s penthouse. It was even more magnificent than the restaurant earlier, the place illuminated by several hues of different colours. Steve chuckled and strung you along, introducing you to a ginger-head named Pepper, who was Tony’s date earlier and went to search for his acquaintance.

She offered you wine but you politely declined, opting for water instead. She brought your glass to you from the extravagant kitchen and you both sat on the barstool there instead of the living room. Too anxious to say the wrong thing, you stayed quiet until her voice filled the deafening silence.

“So, Steve almost never brings dates around. You two serious?” She questioned, leaning towards you, waiting for some gossip, no doubt.

“Oh no! We aren’t dating. He just invited me for a friendly dinner. We merely met the other week.” You deliberately left out the part where there was bombing by crime families and attack on the common man.

“Honey, in the mob life, you don’t just introduce random people to the fam.”

Oh, she wasn’t being shy about the whole mob ordeal. It seemed weird to hear it from her, since you and Steve hadn’t used the word yet. Maybe he figured you already knew considering the circumstances you met in or how famous he was.

“We really aren’t romantically involved. This dinner was just a gesture of gratitude if I’m being truthful.”

She chuckled, as if you were a kid making stories and quizzed, “Gratitude for what?”

You trapped yourself into that one. You didn’t know how to answer her and your brain downright blanked. Surprisingly,, Steve came to your rescue and two voices interposed your conversation.

Steve called your name and as you turned to the men, he continued, “She’s the one who saved Sarah the other night. You know the story, Wilson probably got it printed.”

“Impressive, really. Hey, I’m Tony and I see you’ve already met Pepper, my fiancée.” He shook your hand and kissed your knuckles, much like Steve did earlier in the day. You bowed, smiled and mumbled a ‘nice to meet you as well’. They escorted you to the elevator and Tony continued.

“Well, it’s not everyday Steve brings brave and extraordinarily attractive women around. Welcome to the family, sweetie. She’s a keeper, Cap.” He winked while saying the last sentence and before you could correct him, Steve ushered you inside the elevator, bro-hugging him. As the doors closed, Pepper winked at you from behind Tony and a shudder ran through you.

Okay you had to make it clear, get on the same page.

As the elevator music filled the silence, you started, “Steve, look we aren’t-”, “I served in the army, that’s why Tony calls me Cap, short for captain.” And crudely got interrupted.

“I never wanted to get into the army, I thought people were fools to sacrifice the one life they got. But I went to make my mother’s dream a reality, I really loved her, you know? Sarah is named after her, my mother.”

His voice broke at the end and as much as you wanted to redirect onto your former topic, you couldn’t. This amiability of yours would be the death of you.

“She died alone in her bed; I was dispatched too far away to even make it back for her funeral.” He mumbled but you heard him clear as a sunny day, and he leaned back onto the wall for support while you awkwardly rubbed his shoulder to return the support he provided earlier during your mental breakdown.

He closed his eyes and gathered himself, taking deep breaths. As the elevator dinged, his eyes opened and he gave you a strained smile.

The car ride to his mansion was painfully silent, his mind too sidetracked to focus on harassing you again. With all that you went through today, you almost forgot about that.

His mansion was enormous, twenty guards stood outside and even more patrolled the lawn. He took you inside his house, the interior even more detailed and scenic than Tony’s temporary residence.

You just concentrated on swiftly getting Grace and Uber-ing back. As Steve showed you earlier, Grace and Sarah hugged and slept and it was a meticulous task to untangle their limbs without waking either of them up andnd get Grace with her back-pack. You thanked Wanda on the way out, hoping to avoid Steve but somehow he stood outside before you, leaning on his sleek black car. He opened the door for you before you could refuse the ride. You settled with Grace in the backseat itself, trying to be smart.

He just summoned one of his guards to drive and sat alongside you in the back. You didn’t let the annoyance at his clinginess show though. You just focused on Grace who drooled over your shoulder.

Hopefully, there won’t be any point of exposure to him ever again, your circles didn’t match, both social and professional. Your Venn diagrams didn’t overlap anywhere. This should be reason enough to avoid meeting ever again.

He didn’t try anything even this ride around. You doubted it was hardly because of the toddler or because of the driver. He did as he pleased, if he wanted to he could very well grope you. Luckily, he wasn't in the mood.

When you reached your dwelling, you stepped out hastily, thanking him in a whisper. You fumbled to get your keys out, but since everything you held slowed you down, he caught up with you without even trying.

He took and held Grace’s bag while you drew the keys out, Grace still on your hip. He handed you the bag back, “So this is it, I guess?”

“Yeah, tonight was a total delight. Thanks for the dinner and everything, really.” You put up your best façade, hoping to convince him.

“It was, thanks to you. The company matters the most.”

You awkwardly chuckled and you sensed him leaning in, his eyes flickering shut. Your eyes closed as you turned your head to avoid him, so that his lips would peck your cheek.

They never came.

Your eyes opened to find his and he chuckled, leaning in once again swiftly, catching you off guard this time. He didn’t meet your lips though, he kissed the corner of your mouth, lips overlapping for a fraction of skin.

“In due time, baby.” He stepped back and strolled to his car leisurely, content in his own world.

You opened your door and slammed it shut, the peck feeling wrong on so many levels. It felt more sensual than a lover’s kiss, leaving room for intimacy and longing.

Your thoughts ran a hundred kilometers an hour, the most absurd but nauseatingly true being, this was a date and it was not your last encounter.

Steve smirked outside in his car, the dinner an absolute success in his opinion. Tonight just made him feel that you both were more than compatible for each other. You needing him during your mental breakdown, him relaxing under your shy touch, Tony’s approval, not that important though, and your anxiety for Grace was the best part, because he, more often than he’d like to admit, fussed about Sarah the same way, agonizing and fretting her well being.

A text lit up his black screen and his grin widened even more if possible.

‘The Stark cameras are up and working, Sir.’

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oitommothetease · 3 years ago

Text

Invisible String (14/15)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Word Count: 2.4k words

Warning : angst, sad reader, angry reader, dumbass Bucky, Steve being likable for once, smartass Sam, reader finally having some friends, mention of assault, confrontation, drinking, fluff, Bec is Bucky’s sister - Rebecca

Unlike you, Bucky remembered everything. He could never forget that you were hurt because of him — tied to a chair for hours while he couldn't save you — crying on the bathroom floor as he held you. The only thing common in all of those instances was him. You had to go through shit because of him, and yet, you still didn't blame him. You wrapped your arm around him as if he wasn't the cause of your pain. It was clear that his past and the baggage that he came with didn’t bother you. In fact, you understood and accepted his trauma and still loved him. You didn't love him despite his baggage. No, you loved him with every bad thing he offered.

Bucky was sure you were delusional. No sane woman would want to be with the man who was responsible for her captivity, yet you snuggled closer towards him the moment this thought occurred in his head. And Bucky loved you more because of that, and he thought he wasn't physically capable of loving you more than he already did. Bucky knew you reciprocated those feelings, it was very obvious that both of you were a goner for the other. Nevertheless, those emotions were not voiced out loud in your relationship yet. And Bucky wanted it to stay that way.

Bucky decided to sneak out of your bed and house before you could wake up. He was aware it was cowardly of him to just leave without giving you an explanation. But if he stayed to explain, you would have asked him to stay, and he didn't have it in himself to tell you no. You were the ray of sunshine in his stormy life and he could never say no to you. You could ask him to get you the sun, and he would get it for you, even after knowing that it would kill him and the humankind in the process. He would still do it.

But what he couldn’t do was refuse you, so he would have to leave you instead.

***

You woke up a bit disoriented, unaware of the surroundings you were in. It took you a minute to process that you were in your own house and not held captive. Once you came back to your senses instinctively you called for Bucky. He held you while you slept the previous night, so he had to be out in the kitchen. When no response came back, you went out to check for him, only to be met with an empty house.

When you tried to contact him, Bucky was distant. He didn’t respond to your texts and your mind was telling you that something was wrong, but you shoved those thoughts sideways, hoping that maybe he was busy with work. But you both went through something traumatic, you needed him to be with you. If he were busy, he could have at least texted you.

Well, if he was going to ignore you, then you wouldn't be one of those people whose life revolved around their partner. You had a book to write and ambitions that didn’t involve him.

Two hours later, when there was no word from him, you stared at the blank screen on your computer. You weren’t unfamiliar with writer's block, but it had been months and you haven't written a single line since the incident in the club involving Rumlow. And now that you were alone with your thoughts, you started doubting everything. Should you have stayed in that corporate 9 to 5 job? You'd have a stable life and a fixed salary. Maybe you could have even got a promotion. Should you have filed a complaint against Rumlow? Bucky wanted you to, he even assured you the cops would be on your side, but you just weren't ready. You realized that by choosing to remain silent, you were sending a predator out in the world. He could do that to other people and you could have stopped it.

A knock on the front door interrupted your train of thoughts and you were grateful for the person on the other side. You assumed it was Bucky, he didn’t need to buzz in because he literally owned the building. Well, it could also be any one of his friends. Sam and Steve also didn't need permission . And the other day when Peter came by to give you your phone (you left it in the club), he didn't buzz in either.

Seeing Wanda, Peter and Pietro on the door was a good change and God, you needed a change or else you'd go mad with self-loathing.

“We brought pizza,” Wanda exclaimed, lifting the bag in her hand to show you.

You didn't say anything, just smiled at them thankfully. You were really delighted they were here. Not only that, but you didn't have many friends here, and you considered your work friends, your only friends. It was nice to see that they saw you as a friend too and not just someone they work with.

“And beers,” Pietro chimed in, raising the carton in his hand.

You looked at Peter before teasing, “Is he even legal, guys?”

Seeing you joke around with them made Wanda happy. Between all the testosterone, she truly needed a female friend, and she was relieved to see you treating them as friends rather than colleagues. And she understood the trauma that must haunt you since your kidnapping. She was an empath and when you didn’t show up at work, she grew worried.

Half an hour later, most of you were on your second beer. Pietro was on his fourth. That man was fast at everything he did. A movie was playing in the background that none of you paid attention to while everyone was settled on your couch. It wasn't a very spacious couch, you were all squashed into it, but it was too comfortable to leave. You were sitting in between Peter and Wanda, while Pietro was situated beside his sister.

You forgot how nice it felt to have friends and bitch about people to them.

“And just like that he was gone. I woke up and he wasn't there,” you told them, “Hasn't been taking my calls either.”

Pietro took a sip of his drink before saying, “What an ass!”

Wanda raised her bottle, nudging all of you to join her, and said, “Fuck men!”

“Amen!” you agreed, Peter and Pietro nodded too.

“You should focus on your book,” Pietro advised, “Bucky is gonna regret if he loses someone like you, babe.”

The book. Your book. You couldn't tell them why you weren't focused on the book. It was still a lot to process, and you were not ready, so you nodded before chanting, “Fuck Bucky!”

***

“What are you doing here?” Sam questioned as he and his husband entered the office.

“Last I checked, I own this place.”

Sam huffed, “I meant why are you here instead of her place, smartass?”

Bucky looked around to avoid the questioning gaze of both Sam and Steve. He hadn’t talked to Steve since the argument they had over you. Of course, they did discuss business as usual, but nothing related to their personal life.

“She doesn't need me,'' Bucky murmured and looked at Steve. “You must be pleased to know that it's over.”

Bewilderment was clear on the faces of both the men because Bucky exhaled loudly before continuing, “I almost got her killed. It would be wise and safe for her to not be with me.”

Steve finally spoke, “Did she say that?”

When his best friend shook his head ‘no’, Steve sighed in exasperation. “You are an idiot.”

“Yeah, well, that's what you wanted, didn't you?” Bucky retorted, “For me to focus on work and not on her.”

“I was clearly wrong, pal,” Steve raised his hand in exasperation as if it was obvious, “And I’m sorry for that.”

“Well, it's over now.”

***

“Before I met Nat. I dated a girl who pretended to be gay,” Wanda scrunched her nose, remembering the awful memory.

“Oh yeah, weird Sallie,” Pietro smiled teasingly, “Did you guys know that when Wanda brought her home, she hit on our dad?”

“No!” Both you and Peter cried out, stupefied at his words.

“Yeah,” Wanda outlined, “And on Pietro too.”

“I mean, Mr. Barnes is not like this,” Peter brought the conversation back to Bucky and you sucked in a heavy breath. “I’m sure he had a good reason for doing all of this.”

“Seriously?” you were pretty drunk, but not drunk enough to talk about Bucky. You looked at Wanda and Pietro for support, but they shrugged their shoulders in a manner that said, ‘He's not wrong, though.’

You wanted to go to bed and sleep. But you knew they were right. Bucky would never hurt you intentionally, you knew that. “Do you guys know where he is now?”

***

Since trying to talk some sense into Bucky wasn't working, Sam and Steve retaliated back to talk about business.

“Clint is officially out of here,” Steve reported, “Torturing him would just create more ruckus. Rumlow is behind us because he wants his weapons in the government, and Clint would just be a casualty in all this shit. He has three kids.”

Sam huffed, “We told Laura. Her wrath would be worse for Clint than our fists.”

Bucky didn't say anything and just nodded. Steve could feel something was on Bucky's mind, wrapping his arms to his chest, he raised a brow towards his best friend.

“I’m just tired of all of this,” Bucky said sadly, “Is this what we left Rumlow for, pal? You have a kid at home, Wanda has a wife, I have ma and Bec and I haven't met them in years, in fear of someone following me. And now — Well, now I’ve lost the girl too."

Steve and Sam looked at their friend with sympathy. They knew the toll their work took on all of them. Hell, they had a four-year-old daughter at home, and could barely sleep at night, always terrified of losing their kid because of their job.

Sam was about to ask Bucky to suggest an alternative that would help all of them could to make it out of there and just work on the club and not some shady business. Suddenly, the office door flung open and on purpose, everyone’s hand reached for the gun in their waistband. But in walked you with a beer bottle in your hand and a pizza slice in another.

“JAMES BUCKY BARNES!” You exclaimed, your steps wavering a little as you walked towards him. Oh, and you looked royally pissed.

Instantly, Bucky was on his feet and making his way towards you, to hold you — to be near you. And before you could say anything, he was engulfing his arms around your waist, his head settled at the crane of your neck and you frowned. Okay, You did not expect that. You thought he would ignore you, and you would give him a piece of your mind before leaving.

Sober you would have asked him to have a mature conversation like adults, but tipsy you wanted to flip him off and leave. Your arms hung around your sides awkwardly, trying to understand the situation before finally pushing him away.

“You left me,” you spoke so softly that if Bucky wasn't so close, he wouldn't have heard it. “I needed you and you left me alone.”

Bucky’s heart broke at your words. He didn't consider how his rash decision would affect you. You were kidnapped by the person who assaulted you. Fuck, he cursed himself. He was supposed to be protecting you, not hurting you. You sounded so hurt that Bucky wanted to get on his knees and ask for forgiveness. He was so focused on your physical injuries, he did not even realize he was hurting you emotionally.

Steve cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable to present. He interrupted and took his husband’s hand in his, “We’re going to go.”

Before they could leave, you shifted your attention towards Steve and pointed a finger at him. “Why do you hate me?”

Steve stammered, he didn't expect you to put him in a spot like this, but you had a tad more than necessary liquid courage in your system.

“Doll,” Bucky breathed, and you moved your gaze back towards him. Steve took the opportunity and left the room with Sam.

You were on the verge of tears by now — both of you were — Bucky wasn't a man who could voice his feelings, but with you, all of his armor came shattering down. With you — he would tell you his vulnerabilities and fears just so he could let you in. You meant so much to him that the fear of losing you blinded his sense of understanding. He realized that he acted immaturely and by doing so, he almost lost you.

“You hurt me,” Your voice wavered, the traitorous tears made their way down your eyes, and Bucky couldn't see you like that. Instinctively, he stretched his hands to wrap around you, but stopped, “Can I hold you?”

You sniffled and nodded, and Bucky engulfed you flush against his chest. After a while, you snaked your hands around his shoulder too, and a sob broke down from your throat.

He didn't remember how long he held you like this, but after a while, he picked you up and made his way to the couch. He stood before you and then slid one hand up to your cheek. Likewise, he brushed his thumb across your cheek. And then you slowly straddled his waist as you both settled down on the soft sofa. Bucky’s hands fell naturally to your hips to pull you closer.

“I love you, Bucky,” you whispered, once your tears suspended. You enveloped your arms around him and pressed your forehead against his.

Bucky didn’t know whether you meant it or not. You were pretty drunk. He hoped you did.

“I love you, doll,” he confessed as he kissed the crown of your head. He noticed that you were on the brink of sleep, your breathing even, and you looked so peaceful in his arms.

He felt at ease — calm even with you in his arms and in that moment he decided he was never letting you go no matter what.

TAGS : @bananapipedreams @akkinda10 @rivers-rambles21 @emmabarnes @valsworldofcreativity @boofy1998 @marvel-3407 @mybuck @priii @coffeebooksandfandom @ladydmalfoy @shaking-a-jar-of-bees @elizamalfoyy @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @sabrinathesimp

Taglist for future stuff.

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader

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windless-hurricane · 4 years ago

Text

Sparks

Chapter Four: A World Where We Can Grow Old

A Reiner x Reader x (Eventual) Jean Fanfic

• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •

SUMMARY: After the fall of Shiganshina, you joined the military along with your brother. You had hoped to bring peace to the world by doing so, but the world was a cruel place. You seemed to lose more than you gained, but there was always someone - someone who made losing just a bit…easier. You hoped you could keep them forever, but was there a guarantee in this world?

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Here’s the fourth chapter! While things are a bit slow right now, the story’s really going to pick up after this chapter!

WARNINGS (for entire series): Language, explicit violence, talks of death, suicide, trauma, and mental illness, graphic scenes involving blood and/or death, and sexuality.

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

TAGLIST: @lovethemilkteasis @grayxblaze @theyoungblood13 @flowersgirl02 @noodlenerd101 @hanabihwa @drowned-pathetic-rat @bestgirlb @bleepop @miinnttyy @1-800-thanos @lovelime @usernamehere91

SPARKS MASTERLIST

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •

You and your brother stood beside each other as a stream of smoke poured into the sky. You wondered where it came from, how it got there, why it was there, and your questions were answered once a colossal, red hand slung itself over the wall and grabbed onto it.

You flinched uneasily as your eyes widened in fear.

What’s happening? What’s going on? What is that? Is that… Is that a-

Then, a large, skinless face peeked over, its teeth clenching and its gaze terrifying.

It was. It was a Titan, but how...how could it be that big? It was impossible.

Your body trembled as you reached for Viktor's hand. He met you in the middle, gripping your hand back tightly. You could feel the heat and sweat from his skin, showing just how mortified he was.

“V-Vik-tor, I…” you stuttered, but you couldn’t form a coherent sentence. Your mind was going wild and you could feel your heart clenching in your chest.

What-what do we do? Where’s the Garrison Regiment? Where’s Jannick? Where’s dad?

Anybody?

Then, a sudden force shoved you to the ground as the Titan kicked through the wall, sending chunks of it flying.

People screamed, pushed past each other, and ran for whatever time was left of their lives. However, you couldn’t. You were frozen.

Everything was a blur and your ears filled with static.

What should I do?

However, you didn’t have time to ponder that question as a boulder headed straight for you.

This is it. I’m gonna die.

“(Y/N)! Move! (Y/N)!”

__________________________________________

“(Y/N)!”

You gasped yourself awake, sitting up in a panic.

You were panting heavily with sweat dripping down your forehead. You barely managed to wipe it away with your shaky hand. Matter of fact, your whole body was shaking.

“Are you okay,” Sasha asked, gazing at you with worried eyes. Admittedly, no. Your heart was still beating out of its chest and you felt your head begin to pound. However, you couldn’t dwell on something that has already happened. It’s over.

“I’m fine,” you responded, but the hoarseness of your voice didn’t match your words.

“Are you sure,” she pushed. “Because you don’t look like it.” She gestured to your hand and you were surprised to see that you had been clenching your blanket so tightly that the whites of your knuckles were showing. You hadn’t even realized that you were gripping it.

You let go, your knuckle cracking in the process.

“Yeah,” you nodded and you were about to relax until a new form of panic arose within you. “Wait, Sasha. Are we late?”

“Uh, well…” she trailed off. “We’re about to be.” Your eyes widened as you immediately threw yourself off the bed.

“You should’ve said that to begin with,” you exclaimed, shuffling around for your uniform. “We can’t be late for combat training!”

__________________________________________

You and Sasha made a run for the training grounds and were lucky to see that the rest of the cadets were still waiting for Shadis’s instruction.

You sighed a breath of relief as you lined up beside her, not noticing Reiner standing on the other side of you.

He unconsciously looked you over and noticed your disheveled appearance. You had a bad case of bed hair and a few buckles of your uniform had come undone. He also noticed the sheen of sweat covering your face and how you were breathing a little heavier than normal. Either you just woke up late or something else had happened. He wasn’t sure which.

As Shadis made his way up to the speaking platform, all side conversations came to a halt and he turned to face you all with a hard gaze.

“Alright, maggots,” he shouted, making your ears ring. “Today, we are engaging in combat training! While some of you may think this is unnecessary as you obviously can’t use hand-to-hand combat against a Titan...” You and a few cadets snickered. “Shut up!”

You smirked as he continued on. “As I was saying, if you’re lucky enough to make it into the Top 10 and join the Military Police, you won’t be dealing with Titans. You’ll be dealing with people, criminals, thugs. Likewise with the Garrison Regiment. Therefore, it is important to know basic fighting skills and how to defend yourself in any situation… Do your meager minds understand?!”

“Yes, sir,” you all replied in unison.

“Good, now listen for your partners!”

“Sir, if I may ask, why can’t we choose our own partners,” you asked suddenly, causing your peers to gape at you like they did at orientation. However, you were unfazed, even after Shadis shot you the same death glare as before.

“No, you may not ask, Bauer,” Shadis growled and you attempted to suppress your smile. “Now, run laps until I’ve finished. Afterwards, get your ass handed to you by Braun.”

“Yes, sir,” you saluted, shooting a glance at Reiner as he smirked at you. “If he can even beat me,” you countered, speaking so quietly that only Reiner could hear you.

As you jogged past him toward the dirt track, he watched you with amusement.

You certainly weren’t like the other girls in the Training Corps. You somehow managed to be sweet, fiery, and so sure of yourself all at once. You always spoke your mind and were seemingly fearless, choosing to mess with the scariest person there without a care in the world. Finally, you were awfully kind, taking care of your brother whenever you could and indulging in his own mischievousness, even if it meant the both of you potentially getting trouble. He even saw you do the same with Sasha and Eren.

You truly were something else.

He grinned faintly as he found you smirking back at him.

“We’ll see about that, hotshot,” he murmured.

__________________________________________

Once Shadis had finished announcing everyone’s partners, you jogged over to Reiner, panting slightly.

He raised his eyebrows at you as you came to a stop a few feet in front of him.

“How was the jog,” he teased and you scoffed in response.

“Nothing compared to the swimming I had to endure on the first day,” you admitted, clearing your throat.

“Why do you always annoy him when you know full well what he’s going to do?” The question would have sounded condescending coming from anyone else, but you could tell he was more amused than anything.

“I don’t like him,” you stated bluntly. “And…” your eyes began to soften. “I think we ought to have some fun while we’re here.”

“Huh,” he breathed, taken aback by your answer.

Fun? In times like these, he thought to himself.

“I know what you’re thinking,” you chuckled. “Fun? In times like these? I know. The world is so dark these days, but I think we need to be reminded that we’re still alive. We need to laugh, smile, feel happiness. Most importantly, be human and how could we do that if we’re scared or in grief all the time? I still don’t like him, but if you all are entertained along the way, fine by me.”

He gazed at you admirably, unsure of how to process your words. He felt...conflicted more than anything.

“You really are one of a kind, (Y/N),” he commented, his voice coming out smoother than how he felt on the inside.

Your cheeks blushed faintly as you grinned.

“If I didn’t know any better, Reiner, I’d say you were flirting with me rather than trying to fight me,” you cooed and he let out a chuckle through his nose.

“And what if I was,” he suggested with a glint in his eyes.

“I'd still say to fight me.”

You raised your arms in a fighting stance and he quirked his eyebrow at you.

“I haven’t seen a stance like that before,” he observed, putting his own arms up. “Where’d you learn it?”

“Enough talking!”

You charged at Reiner with a plan already in mind.

I’ll go for a punch towards his face. Once he decides to either block it or pull away from it, I’ll sweep his legs right from underneath him.

You went for your punch, but he unexpectedly didn’t do either. He instead grabbed your fist tightly, not allowing you to pull away, and twisted your arm behind your back. He pulled you against him and your face heated up as his chest pressed into you.

“I don’t think you expected that, (Y/N),” he whispered, his breath fanning your cheek. “I thought I wasn’t going to be able to beat you.” You honestly thought so too, but you were overconfident. It made sense that he was able to stop you. He was confident too, but just the right amount. He also knew how to fight.

Although your arm was starting to hurt from his grip, you still smirked with excitement.

“The fight doesn’t end until one of us is pinned down,” you stated, stomping down on his foot.

He groaned as he released his hold on you and you threw your head back, coming into contact with his chin. As a result, he lost his footing and you took the opportunity to crouch down and swipe your leg underneath his. He fell to the ground and you threw yourself on top of him. You bent your right leg at the knee and dug it into his thigh, holding his other leg down in the process. You used your left foot to keep one of his arms down. Then, you pinned his wrist with one of your hands and used the other to keep his head against the ground. You smiled, letting out a quick exhale.

“I pinned you.”

“Let’s make a deal,” and you gaped down at him in surprise. Why did he look and sound so nonchalant despite his position?

“What?”

“Whoever’s pinned down last has to do something for the other,” he explained.

“If you can even-“ Before you could finish, he propped his knee up from under you and your foot slid off his wrist. He gripped you from your collar and threw you over, causing you to land on the opposite side of his head. You went to do a kip up, but he grabbed you by the shoulder of your jacket and dragged you until you were within straddling range. He got on top of you as he smiled faintly.

“That’s what we have to find out.”

After that, you both spent the next half hour pinning each other down until Shadis told everyone to stop.

You gasped for air as you pinned Reiner’s wrists above his head and used your knees to keep his legs in place. He was breathing heavily as well, his stomach on the ground and his cheek pushing against the dirt.

“I-I win,” you announced, tightening your hold on him as a reminder.

“I can see that,” he strained, barely looking at you from the corner of his eye. “You win.”

You sighed in satisfaction and let him go, finally standing up. You wiped excess sweat and dirt off your forehead, watching as he turned over and sat up with a grunt.

“You’re an impressive fighter, (Y/N),” he complimented. “I think you’re as good as Annie.”

“Well, you’re not too bad yourself,” you admitted. “I haven’t had a fight like that in awhile.”

“So, then,” he started. “What do you want?”

“Huh?” You blushed slightly as you scratched the back of your head. “I haven’t thought that far ahead… What did you even want?”

“I wanted you to answer a question of mine,” he revealed, a darkness creeping on his cheeks.

“Just a question,” you asked in disbelief. “All of that for a question? What is it?”

“Why'd you join the military?”

“That question again? Well, I guess I never answered you to begin with,” you remembered. “Silly, you could’ve just asked me instead of letting me beat you up.”

“I didn’t know how to bring it up again without it seeming weird,” he confessed and you shook your head.

“It wouldn’t have. I like talking to you.”

You extended your hand out to him and the moment his fingers brushed yours, you felt what could only be described as a jolt of electricity running through you and you took a step back.

You looked down at him and he stared back at you with a similar expression - utter confusion.

Did he feel that too?

“Um, sorry,” you apologized, laughing slightly. “It must’ve been static.”

“No worries,” he assured with a chuckle and you stuck your hand out once again.

He took it graciously and thanked you as you hoisted him up. You nodded, gazing at him right after.

“I joined the military because I want to live in a world where the only concern is growing old,” you finally answered. “I don’t want us to worry about walls, Titans, or whatever the hell else could be out there. I just want us to be happy and have the freedom to live our lives to the fullest... Does that...sorta answer your question?”

It did, it really did. So, why did Reiner still feel a pang in his chest? Why was he hoping for a more selfish answer? Why did he want your answer to not be as noble as the one you gave? Why did he want you to be...less human?

In the end, he knew the answers to all these questions. He didn’t want to feel guilty for what he had done and what he was going to do...but everyone was making it extremely difficult. (Y/N) especially.

As you both smiled at each other, one question plagued his mind.

Why were the Devils of Paradis…so human?

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3mmafr0st · 4 years ago

Text

Remember Me - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 3.5k (This is the longest thing I’ve ever written in one siting I think

Next Part->

Warnings: SMUT and everything that comes with it, Talk of death and murder, violence, guns, brainwashing

A/N: I had a really good time writing this so if you want this to be a series then say so because I will! Also I had to manually space this whole thing so sorry if the format is kinda weird

I hated that chair. It made me forget things, made me forget him. It never worked completely, I fought too hard, fought to remember him. Our last mission was one that I would fight the hardest I ever have to remember.

The minute I walked through the threshold, I saw him. If the black muzzle-like mask identical to mine, and the darkness in his eyes wasn't enough, then the silvery left arm with a familiar red star on the shoulder similar to the one on my knee sealed the deal. My body immediately relaxed the moment I saw him, but I didn’t know why. I wracked my brain for answers to the question. What was his name? Sadly, yet another thing that I couldn’t remember. Then again, I couldn't remember my own name, never mind someone else's. He looked me in the eyes and I could feel something in his stare, but I didn’t dwell on it, instead sitting myself down next to him to prepare myself for the briefing.

The two of us settled into our hotel room. The room was nice, the standard one bedroom with a bathroom connected and an attached balcony. The balcony overlooked the street, across from a well known cafe that the target frequented. The two of us were meant to stay at the hotel until one of us got the shot, and by one of us, they meant Soldat. We weren’t told who the target was, just a face and location. I didn't know why they sent me on this mission. I did have the eyes of a hawk, which might have been why, but I had no experience with long distance killing. He, Soldat, was the expert. The two of us sat on the balcony, as he fiddled with the gun, making sure that it was just the way he wanted it. I watched the cafe, searching for the target. The two of us sat like that for a while, I was his eyes, but he was my trigger, in more than one way. Every time my eyes would drift over to him, a memory resurfaced, another mission that we were on in the past, or fleeting moments that I didn’t quite understand. It wasn't much at all, but it was something. He surprised me when he talked first.

“How much do you remember?” I quickly checked my person and the area around me. “Don’t worry, I've already scanned the area for bugs.”

“I have bits and pieces of old missions, but that’s it, nothing solid.: I had thought about lying, telling him that I didn't remember anything to save face, but the minute I looked into his eyes, I just knew I couldn't keep anything from him. I didn't know why, but just looking at him made me want to tell every single thing about me. “What about you?”

“Maybe it's because they’ve been doing it for so long that I’ve built up a tolerance or something like that, but the last few times it's gotten weaker and weaker.” I felt something, some sort of feeling that sat in my heart that I didn’t quite understand.

“Do you want to talk about it? If you don't, I get it, but then again it's not like we have anything else to do for a while.” He took a second to gather his thoughts, longer than expected. It worried me, what happened?“It was a reconnaissance mission, the two of us were sent as a couple, two oil tycoons that had shady business dealings. The middle gets fuzzy, but I remember something happened between us and that’s why we were sent to the chair, for extra conditioning.” What the hell did ‘something’ mean? I felt my heart race, my stomach twisting in knots. This was going to be a tough mission.

It had been 4 long and strenuous days, with a regular schedule of waking up an hour before the cafe opened, and then staking out together on the balcony until closing, when we finally got to do what we wanted like eating and sleeping.

The heat of his body had become familiar to me in the past few days. I always woke up first, his arm always slung over me, having done it in his sleep, and every morning I would move the arm and get myself ready before he would wake up.

The two of us met up on the balcony as the cafe opened, and that's when I spotted him, the target. I looked down at the photo to double check, and there was no doubt in my mind that it was him. I tapped Soldat’s knee with my metal one and pointed to the target on the ground.

“He’s here,” I whispered. Once he got a clear view of the target, I heard two almost silent puffs of air, and the man fell to the ground, dead. Although the man sitting beside me intrigued me to no end, he was terrifying at the same time. The fact that I knew the second shot was only a precautionary measure and the fact that both of us could kill each other if we tried hard enough was enough of an idea to scare the hell out of me for some reason. At the same time though, it was sort of invigorating, to have someone who gets it, who understands what I’ve been through.

“I’m going to take a shower,” He said gruffly, and quickly packed up the gun and headed off to the bathroom. I sighed, disappointed that he was in that much of a hurry to leave me. I looked out onto the chaos that was happening. The “police” had arrived, but in reality, they were false officers, agents of Hydra sent to differ and obscure the investigation like normal. The man laced dead on the pavement, and I couldn’t help but let my mind wander, who was this man, was he a good person, or bad? Did he have a family? The thoughts pushed me even deeper. Who were we anyway? When were either of us born, what are our names, do we have families?

It was all too much to bear at that moment, so I decided the best course of action would be to get in some comfortable clothes, namely the large tee shirt that was given to me as pajamas, and relax. I slid the glass door open, the cold and dry processed air of the hotel room hit me. I pulled the shirt out of my bag and changed into just the shirt and panties. I flooded onto the bed as hard as I could, metal hitting against the wood of the bed. It was so comfortable for the time that I was alone. I spread myself out on the bed, rolling around in the blankets and for a brief moment, just enjoyed myself. The feeling of cotton sheets against my leg made me smile contently, the cool of the metal contrasting with the warmth of the bed. The whole thing made me feel like I was off in another world, the life I would have had without Hydra.

Maybe I really was in my own world, because as I rolled to lay flat on my back, and opened my eyes there he was. He simply stood at the door of the bathroom, only a towel around his body, looking at me with a masked expression, hiding any reactions he might have had. I immediately sat upright on the side of the bed, a blush starting to creep up over my face.

“You know, if I was an enemy combatant, you would be dead right now.” His face didn’t change, but he took a step closer to me, making me want to look down. It wasn’t just the fact that he had caught me in such a vulnerable position state, it was his too. Throughout the entire mission, and any mission that I had glimpses of, he had always stayed as dressed as possible, never even taking his shirt off before bed. I could see every muscle across the wide expanse of his chest all the way down to where his hips began to create a v-shape. The sight was almost mouthwatering and I honestly didn’t know how to handle the sight. He was a good spy, he could tell that I was clearly uncomfortable. I stared harder at the ground from my seat on the side of the bed, as he stepped even further towards me, settling right in front of me.

“What’s wrong, you’re upset?” He’s slightly confused but I still hid from his gaze. I felt his hand underneath my jaw, tilting my chin up so I was forced to look up at him.

The moment his skin hit mine, images, events began to flood my brain, his smile, the two of us together laughing, our hands intertwined. His hand moved back in shock, and stepped back a little. At that moment I knew that the same thing had happened to him.

“Did you just remember too?” I nodded, and he sat down on the bed next to me, trying to process.“What did you see?”

“The two of us, old missions, I don’t quite understand” My voice caught in my throat as an idea hit me. It was a bit of a long shot, but maybe, just maybe, it could work. “What if we’re triggering each other?”

“That makes sense, but why?”

“Maybe if we do more, we’ll find out.” My voice wavered, worried that he wouldn’t agree, that he would reject the idea immediately. Instead, he simply said nothing, looking at me intensely. Slowly, his hand cupped my cheek, his eyes scanning mine for any hint of regret or hesitation. Tentatively, he leaned in, my eyes fluttering closed as our lips finally met.

It was like an explosion, our lips moulded together perfectly as images and memories began to appear in my head. We had done this before, so many times before. I grasped onto him, trying to find something to anchor me. I threaded my hands in his still-damp hair, as his arm wrapped around my waist pulling me impossibly closer. The contact made me gasp, and he deepened the kiss, our tongues dancing together as more and more visions hit me. Other missions where this exact same set of events continued to happen over and over again. It was the strongest sense of deja vu that I had ever felt.

His body began to press closer to me, pushing me down into the bed. I finally broke the kiss so I could breathe. I looked up at him, his eyes had almost lost all of their blue, leaving only dark pits behind. I quickly pulled the large tee over my head with his elf, and his eyes followed to my chest. It was like I could read his mind, and I knew what he was trying to do. Although that sounded amazing, I had a different plan in mind.

Using my superstrength, I flipped the two of us over so he was the one lying with his legs dangled over the edge of the bed. His eyes met mine, and I couldn’t help but smirk as I raked my nails over his chest, eliciting a quiet groan from his lips. God, I never wanted him to stop making those sounds, I just wanted to make him feel good. I had no idea how the towel stayed around his waist, but it had. Kneeling down, I slowly undid the towel. It was huge to say the least. For a minute, I wondered how the hell I was going to get the whole thing in my mouth, but the minute the thought occurred, it was followed by memories of doing exactly that. I didn’t want to tease him, but I just couldn't help but enjoy the view in front of me, watch his chest heave, his body beginning to glisten with sweat, his dick resting on his stomach, going a little past his navel. The only words I could use to describe him in this very moment was perfect.

My hand rested on his stomach. I felt the muscles in his abdomen tense as my tongue hit his cock, licking one long strip up the shaft, before bringing the head into my mouth. I felt his hand wrap itself into my hair, pulling me even farther onto his dick. I slacked my jaw and hollowed my cheeks as best as possible as I slowly sank farther and farther until my nose hit the base of his dick. The groan he made as his cock hit the back of my throat made me begin to squeeze down around nothing, my panties already ruined at this point. I waited there for a minute, trying to make sure I would be ok for what happened next.

He immediately took control the minute I began to relinquish it, rutting his hips up and into my mouth, pushing my head down onto his dick. I looked up at him, watching as his head flew back, his mouth parted and groans and moans spilling from his mouth. His thrusts started shallow and slow, but began to pick up pace, as I could feel him get closer and closer, his moans louder and louder. His hips began to stutter, and I felt his cock twitch in my mouth.

“Fuck, Y/N.” His hips slammed forward into my mouth, as I felt him spilling into my mouth. I pulled myself up, and swallowed.

Y/N, I knew what it had to be, but I was still in awe and shock. I hadn’t heard that in forever. I must have remembered some time along and told him, archived in his memories. I couldn’t help but hope that this would help me go even deeper into my past. My name had been lost to me for so long, it was nice to finally have an inkling as to who I was.

My eyes locked with his, as he sat up, pulling me up to my feet. He wasted no time, pulling me down on the bed and rolling me on my back.

Our lips met, the kiss passionate, and yet soft and gentle. He moved lower and lower, kissing his way down my body. I closed my eyes, simply enjoying the way that his mouth felt on me, but gasped as he latched onto my nipple, swirling around the peak while rolling the other in his metal fingers. I moaned out at the different sensations, but I pulled his head up, so he could look me in the eyes.

“Please, I need you inside me,” I was out of breath, but he got the point. My body was already clenching around nothing and couldn’t wait any longer. A smirk spread over his face, his ego starting to form, a personality that I had never seen before, but his face jogged more and more memories. His fingers trailed down to my core, trailing his fingers through, collecting my wetness in his fingers. I gasped at the feeling of finally being touched, some sort of relief.

“Fuck, doll, all this for me?”

“Only you, no one else.” My rambles were cut off, a moan ripping through my throat as he pressed down on my clit, rubbing rough circles on the bud. His hand trailed downward, and eased two fingers into me, making sure I was ready for him. He pushed in and out a few times, before pulling them out of me, taking them into his own mouth. His face looked like he was eating the best thing he’d ever tasted.

My eyes were glued to him as he began to line himself up, bringing the tip of his cock up and down my pussy, just enjoying the way he looked standing like that. Slowly, he pushed into me, easing his way in until I felt his thighs hit my ass, my legs wrapping around his hips, trying to keep him in this place as I moaned out, the feeling of being so so full filling my senses. His dick snugly hit that special spot inside of me, causing my head to spin with pleasure.

He waited until he knew that I was absolutely ok, before pulling out just as slowly as he went in, almost completely out, before quickly slamming his hips back in, making me scream out. He kept a fast and brutal pace, no longer being able to control himself.

“Fuck, I didn’t know how much I missed this, doll. You’re squeezing my cock so good.” His words only made me clamp down more, egging me on. I bit down on my lip hard, but he leaned down and began to kiss me, pulling my lip out from between my lips. He broke the kiss, settling his face near my ear. “Don’t you dare stop makin’ those noises.”

I could feel my stomach begin to tighten, the familiar knot forming in my abdomen as he kept hitting the spot inside of me perfectly. He must have noticed I was trying to hold off for him

“Cum for me doll, I’m right behind you.” His thumb pressed against my clit and I was done for, my vision going black, as my body shook under him, as I felt his cum inside of me, filling me up.

A word, a name bubbled up to the front of my tongue, overflowing and pushing its way out of my mouth. “Bucky!”

I couldn't see for a minute, my vision cloudy and hazy, but I felt him slip out of me. I whined at the empty feeling in me, as he got up and went to the bathroom. A minute later, he came back, washcloth in hand. Silently, he cleaned me up, before casting the small towel aside, settling on the bed next to me.

“I missed you,Y/N”

“I missed you too, Bucky” The name felt right, the right sounds that fit perfectly with the way he looked and acted. His face softened, as the memories of the two of us hung heavy in the air.

“I know this might be a bit far, but I hate doing this,”

“Me too, doll. I want to remember you.”

“I say when they put us in the chair this time, we fight for the memories, and next mission, we run like hell.”

“That sounds like a perfect idea”

I had thought it out coming back to the facility, how they wouldn’t be able to overpower both of us at the same time, so if we gave no indication that we could remember again, they wouldn’t have any worry. The only problem was where the hell we were supposed to go. I was pretty sure that the facility was in America, the plane that we took was over a large body of water as we came back, and all of the people at the hotel had French accents, or spoke the language. I had no clue who I was, besides my name, and my love for Bucky, but damn if I wasn’t going to find out where the hell we came from.

I was strapped down to the chair, my limbs bound in tight leather to the seat, with a piece in my mouth, and the clamps on my head. They turned the machine on, and pain shot through every part of my body. I felt the memories wanting to fade away, but I shut my eyes, trying to push myself, will myself to remember. The pain was unbearable, so instead I made myself a room. A little room in my head where I would stay with my best memories away from the pain. The room had walls and doors made out of the metal in my leg, a metal I’ve never seen anyone break. I stood in the room, going through the memories, through everything that had ever happened between Bucky and I.

Finally, the machine eased off of its power, and my body relaxed, relieved that the torture was finally over. I searched my mind, and found my little room, intact. I wanted to jump up and down, celebrate my success over the machine that had been the bane of my existence for as long as I could remember, but I couldn't. I stayed strong faced, and yet blank, as I heard the door open and out walked the man, the one they called Pierce. He was our handler.

“Mission Report”

“The two of us arrived at the hotel, we waited for four days until the target arrived, which was when we executed the mission and were extracted.” My voice was monotone and dull, the way I would sound normally after I had been fully wiped, with only memories of how to maim, kill, and spy.

“Very good, you may go to your room now, you have a new mission for tomorrow.” His words were cold, and two of the people who worked here grabbed either of my arms, leading me to the place that I was left to sleep. I looked up at the ceiling, thoughts swirling through my head, did Bucky make it out ok? What did he remember? I could help with that though, the memories would come back. But that was just a part of this. We were going to get out of this hell hole, and no one could stop us.

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i-love-hobbies · 3 years ago

Text

Eda's reckless behaviour and overall mental health

Summary

Eda is a genius, but is very emotional when making decisions (not anger, but fear, stress ect.)

Her reckless behaviour and apple blood problem in my opinion are her ways of running from reality.

In season 1 she made a bit of progress on this issue. Then the finale happened. Then she made again progress and s2ep7 did a complete reset. And she is making progress now again.

Eda's intelligence

She's been a criminal for thirty years. She has been in the shady business for an extremely long time. Yes magic definitely helps but you also have to find a way to be on top of the game, so you can survive.

Remember Tibbles' shrinking potion. She can't really use a lot of magic if she is shrinked or poisoned and dead, can she? Not to talk about her enemies which you'd think would attack her now that she is magicless.

They haven't on screen, yet. The only ones that tried are Adegast and Tibbles and they both died without her using any magic (or close to nothing).

Now we know that she doesn't make plans a lot on screen. In s2ep3 especially she just let's Luz make the plan but that's because she is her mentor.

In s2ep6 Luz used sleeping needles which is wild magic so no, it's not knowledge coming from Hexside. Also the pickpocketing Luz mentioned.

Teachers don't do the tests instead of students.

She teaches her everything that isn't glyphs. I wouldn't be surprised if she has told stories to Luz about her best "outsmarting everyone in the room" moments.

Now we have seen some of her problem solving on screen. One of which was in ep.18 fight only using her channelled magic trough the staff (im not taking credit for noticing this, have no idea who did though) and used the bridge.

Also if she can telepathically talk to her staff. Owlbert saving Luz was probably her idea.

She had her impact on Raine's rebellion as well, without having magic or turning into a harpy.

"You are not our mom!"

"Wow, we actually helped people this time!"

"Bye, mommy Eda!"

In the back of her head she knows exactly what to do, everytime something happens.

Eda's mental health

Eda's curse and the nightmares it causes. The father incident. The fact that she probably thought Lilith was scared of her.

Lilith's hidden guilt and her taking her father's eye out don't mix well together. I wouldn't be surprised if they barely spoke even if they lived in a house together.

Her losing Raine.

Her faith in the emporer being broken.

She has seen a lot of death, that does impact people.

Season 1

At the beginning of the series she was making a lot of bad choices which don't aline with her experience.

The series starts with her getting caught by Warden Wrath. Instead of just sneaking, they were just walking comfortably in the corridors.

They are kids, one from another dimension, but her... She doesn't know better? And for a paper crown that she can replace by stealing from someone else.

Next episode we are introduced to her morning drink later on confirmed to be for adults only. And that drink didn't get a mention for the rest of the season. In that episode she is also not the most clear-headed. She didn't try to sneak, she didn't use potions. Didn't try to plan.

A list about her being impatient can go on and on.

So when does she think. When she realises it's dangerous (aka when it's right in her face). Literally in the first episode the moment she started doing stuff is when she got caught and spat on the warden's face.

In episode 2 she didn't do that because she didn't know if Luz was alive and had a hard time bottling her feelings. Like if Luz proved to him to be hard to keep tight up he could have killed her, the girl that came back for her and her son yesterday. And she proved to Eda that she is a little dangerous the previous episode with her fireworks.

Eda was rational again, after she was with both King and Luz.

As the series went on though she started to calm down a bit.

Firstly, the fact that she was so focused on fixing her card problem, after Tibbles scammed her, that she trew them away in another dimension.

I was wondering how she overcame it so quickly.

It also shows her knowledge of how to handle this type of problems which brings up a question. How did she learn it?

Secondly let's compare the first half of the season to the second.

1. Everything I already pointed out and was hiding the curse. The stuff that happened in ep.5. Her refusal to be parental in ep.7. Body swapped.

2. She gets scammed again (this time though, how do you expect that someone was digging their own grave). Didn't use a sleeping spell on the slitherbeast immediately instead was just standing there. Got caught by the fun police. Worsened King's stage fright.

In ep.15 because of her ignorance Luz and Amity almost die. Except that is not the full story. She had at this point a lot of faith in Luz and this was her friend's mind.

For Amity it's not that she hated her. Amity actually saved her in ep.12. It's because she wasn't that important for her to realise. "Omg Willow is at the very least extremely mad at her."

It's again a refusal to think, but for a stranger and not really on purpose. It was just a habit of hers.

Episode 18 and 19

At the beginning of the episode. Eda hid the curse, again.

When she learned that Lilith had kidnapped Luz. She didn't try to make a plan. She just revealed herself in all her glory while her magic was disappearing.

Shot the staff in a wall while she was having no idea, what that was supposed to accomplish.

Luz showed up and she finally started thinking.

Afterwards Lilith said we all know what and for the first time Eda's anger was the leader of her choices and Luz almost fell on to the spikes.

So then, for the very least a night, she was stuck in her mind with something, that was chasing her. She woke up to Emporer Baby the B*tch, who was telling her, he was about to go after Luz.

And no she didn't believe in Lilith, but was so overwhelmed. It was insane. So she begged. After some more running, she woke up to Luz in the Comformatoriam.

Next, she was about to get petrified and for awhile this was the calmest things have been since she got caught. Then Lilith shows up (ah yes she existed).

King jumped "She was trying to help!". Wait King was there.

Petrification beam go.

PURE PAIN!

Then she got the idea for all of them to fly away. Lilith shared the curse making the confusion even bigger. Then her magic is gone (that was a thing). She learned that the portal is destroyed. Now she was living with Lilith and might have starved to death with everyone else in the house.

After all of this she not only tried but HAD TO pretend that she was mentally stable, so they could survive this mess.

Season 2A

In episode 1 she told Luz not to go after big bounties and then tried to steal from a coven's ship.

At this point her emotions are the only thing that made decisions while they were also getting hidden. Don't get me wrong she did help and should, especially Luz but it's ALL feelings. She didn't think about consequences, which sometimes are good.

She didn't attack Lilith cause it's just not the time, she's scared from her own anger. Plus she can't really stand being with the roller coaster of emotions, that came with being in one room with her.

This didn't mean she didn't work with her and hadn't listened to the backstory, though.

The episode ends with her and everyone else not being close to dieing. Finally!

So now what? She tried to think about Lilith? Yeah, she probably preferred not to.

Then her glyph almost kills King, but Lilith showed up and helped. This is probably a familiarity she missed. So again she decided not to process it, but it definitely sticks.

She also didn't notice Luz being hurt.

Next episode, we saw Eda taking a shower which means she has healthy coping mechanisms, at least one, self-care and is not yet a workaholic.

Luz's apple blood joke is concerning.

After the events of episode 3. Luz probably told her that Lilith stayed with her and King, instead of just leaving them, get killed by Jean-Luc.

Then Eda still isn't certain where she stands about everything and Lilith just left, with her final act being, giving King mental issues.

Throughout this whole thing her mom was there with her cures/annual accidental attempt to kill her favourite daughter.

In this episode, Eda fell for apple blood signs. Rationality is out of the window.

In ep.6 she decided to help, with students getting palisman. Again not thinking about all the trauma, but finally doing something against her first instinct.

In ep.7 she heard King's "Le-" and refused to fully process, where the heck is he gonna go.

She also punched someone, cause this is gonna work?

Now she has reconnected with Raine having no idea should she even think of a romantic relationship again? And decided to be useful at least for something since she "can't raise kids".

She was helping and being very good at it, but it came from fear of loneliness.

Then she heard that Belos has a plan and just is overwhelmed. What if the kids get hurt, is she powerless?

Oh, look! Raine might be dead!

Next episode she overworked herself.

In between ep.8 and 9 she was trying to scare the beast into transforming. (She is losing her sanity. Literally the previous episode told her not to do that.)

In episode 9 again it's all emotional. She wants to feel better and be stronger, so she told King to blast her (almost blasting Amity), hit fool's blood even though Amity said the lake is further ahead.

Luckily she showed progress too.

She ate voles, which was against how she was feeling.

In ep.10 she was scared of letting Luz in the portal. I'm not saying she wouldn't have before, but I don't think it was easy.

Right now, after s2ep10, I think she isn't the most mentally stable. But she is definitely working on it.

#toh #the owl house #eda clawthorne #toh eda #eda the owl lady #edalyn clawthorne #the owl lady #toh lilith

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genshinconfessions · 3 years ago

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Theorist Anon again.

Matpat... At this point I'd rather he not do ANYTHING about Genshin

When browsing on the Genshin lore subreddit and in the comments a lot of people brought up that it was a theory to get new people interested in the story, but it was just so...unappealing.

Now I love revisiting simple theories because it's just easy to lose yourself in the details. It's always nice to get a reminder and a simple recap.

But it was just so forced. "We said Snezhnaya right that means we did out research" and then he can't say Khaenri'ah? The joke just misses the mark so badly. Details that aren't hard to find like the fact that Scaramouche took the gnosis and left (Also big yikes calling Yae a 'bad staff' even though she traded the gnosis for the Traveller's life.) are just forgotten so in his theory, the Tsaritsa has 4 gnoses already, when in reality she has 3 only.

Lastly, my biggest personal pet peeve. The Venti slander, something that just cements in my mind he didn't do his research because lore-wise Venti is a fascinating and enigmatic character. If you've ever been interested in lore you must at least hold some interest for this shady, funny little gremlin of a bard.

But instead, he is insulted and retrograded to the rank of an "ignorant and shortsighted god", even going as far as to imply that the freedom he gave his people shouldn't be portrayed as a good thing (and we know that the lack of freedom in Mondstadt were never good times. Decarabian sucked so much his rule was ended by a whole revolt and the aristocracy were absolute assholes.) That and that he wasn't helping when a dragon attacked Mondstadt, something he did. Twice. Durin and Stormterror. HE WOKE UP FROM HIS SLUMBER JUST TO HELP.

It screams "I'm half-assing it for the sponsor." And it's heartbreaking as a very long time GT watcher to see that someone I genuinely admire do a game I love so dirty despite its intricate lore and interesting concepts. Thank you for reading.

ohhh okay see i didn't actually watch through his video because i didn't have the time so i'm glad you gave us a recap!

spoilers alerts through the entire post!

the thing with yae is that i'm sure she's much more involved in the story than we think... she's been in charge of inazuma for a long time (since ei went into isolation) and as been established, she's old, so i'm sure she knows exactly what's going on. whether or not her trading the gnosis was premeditated, i'm sure we'll find out sooner or later, but you're right that for sure she didn't want traveller to die LOL.

i'm not sure if he counted ei's gnosis in tsaritsa's gnosis count; if he did, then yes technically she DOES have four (remember she has her own gnosis!) but ofc since scaramouche sort of ran off and is doing his own thing, you're right that she only really has three.

i agree with you that venti is such a lore-rich character! and actually, i'm about 80% sure that we're either going to revisit mondstadt at the end, or the story will end in mondstadt; it just feels like we don't know enough about it, and there's SO much unexplored lore here.

anyway you're absolutely correct that venti chose freedom for his people because he's seen so much oppression. he witnessed decarabian's rule and made sure to never be like that; the aristocracy was something that he probably couldn't have controlled, but like you said, he heard vennessa's cries and woke up to help her.

it must be hard on your end, anon :(((( he seems like a cool dude, and i hope he does better in the future!

- katheryne from liyue

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin confessions #genshin headcanons #genshin lore #theorist anon

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years ago

Text

Special Cargo ~ JJK [Request]

↬↬↬Word Count: 2.1k

↬↬↬Genre: Fluffy, angst, Mafia AU

↬↬↬Pairing: Mafia!Jungkook x reader

↬↬↬A/N: This is a continuation of my Mafia pregnancy reaction for Jungkook, I reworked the beginning into this so there’s no need to read the first part @xworldwidecutieguyx Hope this is okay!!

Your hands were shaking as you looked down at the pregnancy test which had the clear word 'Pregnant' written across it. You took it over to the drawer filled with others, all them a mixture of plus signs, positive, pregnant or that stupid condescending smile that was staring back at you. As if you could even be happy that you were with child right now, you'd always dreamt of having kids but not yet. Not when Jungkook had made it abundantly clear that he didn't want kids yet either, your mind went back to the conversation you'd had with him months ago. He was the leader of a mafia gang for christ sake, of course, he didn't want to have kids yet. It was far too dangerous for you to be pregnant or to bring a child into his life and yet here you were pregnant with his first child.

"Oh fuck," You mumbled when you heard the front door open and slam shut. You locked the drawer full of tests and headed down the staircase to go and greet him at the door. He was drenched in blood - not his. It was never his but it meant he'd had a really bad day and work and probably wasn't going to speak to you for a couple of hours. It happened occasionally so you stayed silent and went to make him a drink. Jungkook and you had met when you were working for him in one of his local bars and he took a liking to you. You'd been together for four years in December and you knew him like you knew yourself. A bad day meant leaving him alone to do his own thing, staying out of his way and making sure to stay as silent as possible so it was not to annoy him.

Your hands shook as you poured the scotch into a glass with ice cubes before handing it to him, normally you'd have a drink with him but you couldn't now that you were pregnant. The door slammed against the wall and you jumped - you'd think you'd be used to people storming in and out of your place like they owned it but you never did. Namjoon was stood there staring at Jungkook, he was also covered in blood.

"Drink?" He nodded at you and you went to make him the same drink as Jungkook. Your hands grazed as he took the cup from your hand and you avoided his eyes walking away from him. Namjoon was like a psychic when it came to things like this in peoples lives. You rushed up the stairs to go and run Jungkook a bath if he was covered in blood and stressed he was going to want to have a relaxing night instead of one filled with rushing around for himself. You turned on the taps and poured in some bubbles and salts turning around to see Jungkook in the doorway watching your every move.

"I made you a bath, careful it might be-" The door slammed in your face as he walked into the bathroom as you left it,

"Hot." You whispered going into the bedroom and trying to think of when the best time to bring up the fact that you were pregnant with him. You couldn't hide it too long because he was sure to find out about it sooner or later, you'd start showing in a few months so you had to tell him soon.

After a week of uncomfortable and painful silence, he finally spoke to you one night,

"You're the best, you know that?" He came up behind you and began rubbing his hands on your arms. You were standing over the kitchen sink doing the dishes when he came in from work. He must have had one of the best days ever since he was smiling so much. You bent your head back to kiss him and he smiled at you, kissing your lips and pulling away.

"You are," You whispered drying your hands on a towel before turning to get a real hug from him. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and held you as close to his body as he could with you. That's when he pulled back and put his hand on your forehead, a panicked look came across his face and he sat you down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"What's wrong?" You giggled as he began looking around the room for something, he headed into the medicine cabinet you kept stocked up since he was always coming home with some kind of new injury.

"Here," He took the thermometer out and pressed it against your forehead,

"I heard you throwing up this morning and you were sick yesterday too. Maybe we should get you to a doctor." The machine beeped and he read it out, you had a normal temperature but to Jungkook you were hot to touch. You knew where this was going,

"I already know what's wrong, I don't need a doctor." You told him and he put the machine away before turning to you. You were eating one of the apples from the centre of the table and he chuckled at the sight,

"I erm...I ate something bad but I feel fine now." You lied swallowing the lump of apple and trying to think of something else to say. He'd had a good day and you finally got the loving Jungkook back you didn't want to lose him so quickly.

"Do we have any popcorn?" You asked getting up and hunting around in the cabinets for something, you'd had a craving for them all week which meant you were further along in your pregnancy than you originally thought you were and you were going to run out of time to confess to him.

"It's probably not a good idea to eat popcorn baby, if you said you ate something bad plus you are putting on a little weight." You slammed the cupboard door shut and span around to face him, you were getting angrier with each second he stared at you,

"How dare you?! I work my ass off around the house and you call me fat?" You questioned him staring at him, you placed your hands on your hips to challenge him and he smirked at how cocky you were acting right now. You'd never spoken back to him before.

"Carry on talking to me like that, I dare you." You smirked back at him wanting to see what he was going to do.

"What are you going to do? Tie me up and torture me like you do everyone else?!" Your voice cracked and your hormones made you cry at the thought of Jungkook hurting you. You were an emotional mess and you couldn't stand it,

"I'm right then, looks like Namjoon owes me money." You blinked at him wondering what he meant.

"Well you are pregnant aren't you? Or are you going to deny all of the pregnancy tests, the morning sickness, mood swings and the weight gain?" Your hands went onto your stomach even though there wasn't much to feel you still wanted to touch it. Jungkook sounded pissed off at you in his tone and he shook his head,

"I told you to take the pill. If you just do what you're told we wouldn't be n this mess right now." You agreed with him but he wasn't right,

"I was taking it Jungkook, but it's only 98% effective." You were trying to reason with him when you knew for a fact that he wasn't even listening to you. He was starting to rant on about how he was too young for children, how this world wasn't right to bring someone new into and his work environment wasn't great.

"Jungkook, he or she will be fine. We can look after them-" He grumbled something and walked out of the kitchen,

"Where are you going!? Don't walk away from me!" You yelled at him but the front door was slammed shut, all that could be heard in the huge mansion you lived in was the automatic lock of the door and his car engine starting up outside. He was going to leave you...He was going to leave and you were going to have to raise the child alone.

The next morning you woke up to Namjoon sitting on your sofa watching something on the TV.

"What are you doing?" You asked as you walked over to him, you sat down beside him and he pointed at the TV.

"A birthing video, it looks painful." You stared at the side of his face as you heard screaming coming from the TV, you turned to look and your mouth fell open.

"Fuck," You sprinted in the direction of the kitchen, throwing up into the sink and holding your own hair back out of your face.

"Here," Namjoon took over holding your hair so you could grip onto the marble sink and hold yourself better, he started rubbing your back and you hummed a thank you in his direction. This was supposed to Jungkook's job but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Any idea where my husband is?" You asked as you cleaned the sink out and turned to look at Namjoon who was looking for something to make you for breakfast.

"Just told me to watch over you." You nodded and walked out of the kitchen to brush your teeth.

It continued like that for a week, Jungkook would come home late at night and not sleep next to you only to leave early again the next time and you were getting sick of it. You wanted your husband to at least tell you what he wanted you to do, even if it was you leaving. You would do that for him. The front door opened and Jungkook expected you to be asleep as you always were when he came in but he was surprised to see you standing at the door with a suitcase.

"Planning on going somewhere?" He asked looking at the bag next to your feet,

"I'm leaving you. It's clear you don't want me or the baby so I'm going to save you the hassle of breaking up with me." You picked up the side bag and his eyes filled with tears trying to convince you to stay but you were already pushing your way through the door,

"I don't want you to leave-"

"What do you want Jungkook?! Huh?! Because I've been throwing up every day for a week and instead of my husband being there to comfort me I have his guard!" He flinched a little as you shouted at him, he was exhausted from the late nights and lack of sleep he'd been getting and he was too tired to yell or fight with you so he took your hand in his and began leading you towards his office upstairs. The office that was always locked and off-limits to you because of all the shady business that went down in there.

"I was trying to clear my head, and then I went out every night so I could do this while you slept." You stared at the back of his head and watched as he unlocked the door and let you inside. The usual office furniture was gone, the deep red walls were painted over in yellow, a crib was in the centre of the room along with boxes of other furniture for children.

"Jungkook this is-"

"This will be the nursery, it's the main room of the house which is impossible to get into, I painted the walls and I was putting the furniture together while you slept...Namjoon was helping me pick out some clothes as well and the wardrobes are full. We even have a lifetime supply of diapers." He began rambling on about what else he had done on the week you thought he was planning to leave you and you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by everything. You kissed him roughly on the lips and he steadied you as you rocked a little in place.

"Careful, special cargo." He whispered putting his hands on the bump under your shirt.

"I'm going to be here every step of the way, I promise." He whispered to you and the bump,

"When is the first scan? I'll plan everything around it I promise." Your eyes welled up and you nodded at him letting the tears flow as you realised how happy he actually was to have a son or daughter. Although the timing wasn't perfect a baby was a miracle and a blessing no matter what.

Tagline:

@writingdreamsnottragedies @snowy-meowl @lynnthevirgo @jooniesdarlingdimples @fan-ati--c @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @callingmyangel @rjsmochii @btsiguess-kpop @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie

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lizzielikeborden · 4 years ago

Text

Just A Stranger

Request: general #17 for diego?

Character: Diego Hargreeves

Prompts: General- #17 “Are you jealous?”

To be completely fair he was unaware of the situation ahead of time. Your whereabouts were completely unknown, if you were dead in a ditch you were gone before he woke up so what you were wearing was also mystery, and unlike usual you did not leave him a little list of things you were going to do. Usually this would be “- work, - grocery store - pharmacy - picking up dinner”. Not such a minor detail as “I’ll be home about 30 minutes later than usual”. Little ref whistles and red flags popped through his head the moment he lifted the note to flip it over to see if maybe you had written more. But, there was nothing, it was completely blank. Diego stared at the note, and kept reading it over trying to make sure he wasn’t missing anything. After doing so he jumped up from where he sat, hitting his knee against the table due to not pulling the chair back enough to get out of the seat properly.

My god where did I hang the clock. He thought to himself as he ran around much too anxious to find anything, including something you made him put up that he dropped on himself multiple times. Once he had finally made a full circle, seeing that the clock was directly above the front door.

Okay wait. She gets off work at 3:30 PM and it’s 4:30PM. He counted on his fingers a little and refocused multiple times just to make sure his math was correct. The second the realized that he was right he dead sprinted out the door.

She has to be in some sort of trouble. His heart raced faster than he ever thought it could. Once he got in the car he did not even think to put on a seatbelt or even completely shut the door. Lead foot Diego took off down the street, went 80mph in a school zone, and almost hit multiple people. In his mind you were already dead, stuck in the trunk of car, getting tortured, or getting harassed. About five minutes into driving he realized he had no idea where you even were. He knew not work, because you did not like to stay after due to horror stories Diego had told you about things that have happened in seemingly empty parking lots. So, he checked the grocery store parking lot and did not see your car. He went past the pharmacy because no cars were anywhere to be found in that tiny little lot. As he went past, he saw what looked to be your car at a nearby gas station.

Mother fucking christ this light could not be any longer. Diego smacked the top of the steering wall with both hands as hard as he could. The light seemed to be red for ages. It was so long that he could tell you were not in your car, nor at the pump next to the gas tank. The light turned green and luckily he was in the front or a fun game of bumper cars and trade insurances would have happened. His tires squealed as he made an incredibly sharp turn into the parking lot.

That’s her car. Where the hell is she? He read your license plate and looked around the pump, you were no where to be seen. Diego parked his car and grabbed knives from the middle consul. He hid them from direct public view and stepped inside. Detective police officer vigilante Diego was on the loose now. He was looking everyone up and down. A few shady characters were present, but none were walking toward your car or a car big enough or in good enough shape to have a human hidden inside.

Diego walked up the counter and stood for a moment, gathered his words to make sure he wouldn’t stutter, and then spoke “Hey man, you seen a (description of you) looking woman inside?”

“Yeah, she came in to pay for gas and then this other dude came in. He was having issues with is gas so she went out to go help him.” The man behind the counter pointed at the gas tank next to yours where the car once was. “She left with him.”

Diego’s blood boiled, not just out of anger, but with hints of anxiety. Why the hell would she get in a car with a strange man? They must know each other. No wonder I got such a short note. He stormed out the gas station and slammed the door. The bell that hung over top hit the glass and broke a small section. She’ll come back for her car. And I will be here when she does. He sat parked and tapped his foot and left hand vigorously.

15 minutes later

Diego’s anger was no where near settled. In fact the longer time went on the angrier he was becoming. His mind was running in circles around the same terrible thoughts. The cashier did not give a description of the vehicle but the moment the little blue sports car pulled in Diego’s instincts picked up. His suspicions were confirmed when you stepped out of the car and waved at the man who did not step out.

Oh fuck no. Diego got out of his car and stepped directly in front of the little sports car. It tried to maneuver around him but he had other plans, taking out a knife he ran and rolled across the ground. The blade cut straight through the tire like butter. The car spun and came to a halt.

“Diego?!” You ran over to the man now on his feet, you put a hand on his shoulder and he jumped a bit. Harshly he turned toward you.

“Y/N, what a pleasant surprise! I would never expect to see you here at the most shady ass gas station in a car with another man after leaving a vague mother fucking note.”

Your eyes came out of your head, you did not expect this, or any of that day to happen. No words were forming as a very very angry Diego stood in front of you. So, you just blurted out the first thing that came to mind,

“Are you jealous?” You could see in Diego’s eyes that out of every single sentence, phrase, or word you could’ve said those were the wrong ones.

“Jealous? Should I be?” He took a step back instead of anger he seemed more upset.

“No of course not. He’s a total stranger.” Diego’s mouth hung open, his eyes popped out of his skull, eyebrows furrowed. and his head was tilted.

“YOU GOT INTO A VEHICLE WITH A COMPLETE STRANGER? AND THEN LEFT WITH THE STRANGER?” He yelled in frustrating and swung his arms around.

“Excuse me bu-” The so called stranger you were with stepped out of his car but did not get a full sentence out before being shut down by Diego,

“You have two choices, fuck off, or more than just that tire will be slashed.” Diego did not even have to turn around to intimidate him before he ran back to his car and called someone to come get him. “Now back to you. What in the hell were you thinking?” His tone did not change but his demeanor did, he was much quieter and a bit calmer.

“Well. I have been running late all day. I actually did not have a plan, so I assumed 30 minutes late was already how far behind I was. I just assumed my day would be about 30 minutes behind. Once I got about here I realized how low my gas was so I decided to get some, and that guy was having horrible trouble. So I stayed and helped him pump his gas but it wouldn’t work, I offered to help him again and we went to the gas station up the street.” You explained.

“You cannot be helping grown adult men or getting in cars with them. Hell any strangers for that matter. I know you think you are oh so capable but in real situations people tend to become a whole lot less capable.” He grabbed your hand and squeezed it, still keeping some distance between the two of you. You couldn’t really argue with him. You had never been in any situation like that so you couldn’t prove him wrong. Statistically he was correct. You gently pulled for him to come closer. He did so.

“Thank you for being protective and cautious. You just care, more than normal, but you care. I shouldn’t have done that. But Mr. Vigilante you should not have slashed that poor mans tire.”

“You need to be happy I didn’t slash his thro-.”

“No no, we do not need to work you back up.” You put a hand on his cheek and made him look at you, you shook your head at him.

“What am I gonna do with you?” He smiled and leaned down, he matched your action and placed a hand across your cheek and kissed you softly.

You gave it a moment and pulled back, “I could ask you the same thing.”

You took your keys from you pocket and started to walk back to your car.

“I will be following closely behind you the entire way home. Do not test me.” Diego commented as he wandered back to his car.

You smiled and took off faster than him down the street. You were gonna be the death of him...

#diego hargreeves #diego hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves imagine #diego hargreeves x you #diego x reader #The Umbrealla Academy #umbrella acedmy #the umbrella academy

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smol-and-grumpy · 4 years ago

Text

EUPHORIA - Chapter 14

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: He’s Dean Winchester, owner of a shady night club. She’s a journalist who has been asked to write an article to expose the indecency and debauchery that’s going on behind closed doors. But he’s also Dean Winchester, the boy who sat next to her in class. The boy who was too cocky for his own good.

Chapter Warning: Flangst

WC: 2754

A/N: This chapter fills my ‘shower sex’ square for @spnkinkbingo Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons <3

This series is more than two weeks ahead on patreon!

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

Become a Patron ~ Buy me a coffee

Dean’s in his office with Cas. Two security guys are sitting on the couch. The police came again to ask questions, and they just left a moment ago.

He walks to the little bar and pours himself a whiskey. Is 4pm too early to drink? Yeah, it probably is, but he doesn’t really fucking care.

And he woke up feeling so damn good, seeing her dancing naked in his apartment. He watched her doing a victory dance, felt like he had a victory of his own — it went downhill from there. Well, apart from the morning sex. And the second morning sex in the shower. That was pretty memorable, if he’s honest. He thinks back to how he pushed her up against the tiles, pushes his cock into her. Thinks about how she comes around his cock, how her nails claw into his back, marking him up. He lets her down and turns her around then, pushes her against the glass of the shower, slips into her again, bottoming out and fucking her while he spanks her ass raw. He wishes that he could turn back time. Just a little.

Nonetheless, the morning left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. Can’t lie, he was quite irritated that she already found an apartment, and almost wanted to tell her not to take it. But what can he do about it really? Nothing. It is what it is, and well, it’s not like they will stop seeing each other. Because he’s not giving that up so easily.

It’s just—

—he can’t even really explain it. It’s not like he experienced anything like it before either. If Dean had to describe it, he’d say that it’s the feeling of wanting to spend 24/7 with her and only her , and that pisses him off because he has to be a fucking adult about it. It’s especially rubbing him the wrong way, now knowing that someone is after him — and by proxy is after her as well — and he’d just rather know at all fucking times that she’s alright.

Cas is still laughing his ass off and that just makes him grumpier.

“Cas, you done there?” Dean snarls at his friend and sits down on the couch with a groan. Sex twice this morning is taking a toll on him too. He’s not seven-fucking-teen anymore.

“It’s funny when you think about it, no?” Cas tries his best to suppress his grin.

Cas is laughing about the fact that the police want the list of people who hold a grudge against Dean. Which is probably longer than he cares to admit, hence Cas’ stupid laugh.

It’s Dean’s own fault really, he wasn’t exactly known as the golden boy growing up. And even in the business world, he had more beef with people than not. There’s a long list of displeased women as well, and Dean doesn’t even know all their names.

So now, instead of maybe spending the evening with her, Dean has to fucking write up a list to hand over to the police as soon as possible.

Great.

That’s just what he needs today.

Dean’s still on that fucking list and it’s 11pm. He was supposed to take a night off — at least that’s what he told Cas, because he wants to be with her as long as she’s staying with him. He remembers her saying that she’s going into work in the evening because Rufus wants to talk about the article she’s writing about his club. They actually never talked about it again. Dean’s not sure if she’s going to write it at all.

But he’s almost finished with the list, so there’s that. Maybe another hour — if he’s lucky.

He decides to take a short break and send her a text.

D: Are you upstairs? Sorry, it’s going to be a while longer till I’m finished.

Watching his screen, he sees that she’s reading it, sees her typing back a reply.

Y/N: Don’t worry about it. Just finishing up.

D: Should I come pick you up?

He kinds of hopes that she’ll say yes. Dean thinks that he could use a distraction. Writing up names of people who might want bad things to happen to him is not exactly a joyous task.

Y/N: Don’t worry, Rufus will drop me off. I’ll see you later!

Right, so back to the list it is. Dean sighs before he gets up to pour himself another whiskey.

“You’re smiling. Why are you smiling?” Rufus asks. His desk is right across from hers.

“Why? Does my smile irritate you?” Y/N’s smirking as she looks at her supervisor.

“Damn well, it irritates me!” Rufus shouts and she flinches but his face softens afterwards, lips pulling into a smile, “It’s that Winchester boy, isn’t it?”

“Nah,” She’s quick to say, and Rufus chuckles. She knows he doesn’t believe her.

“Have you thought about the article yet?” He says, sitting back in his chair.

They’ve been discussing it before and he leaves it up to her. She doesn’t know why he asks again. She can’t possibly have made up her mind after six hours. Y/N needs more time than that.

“I don’t know,” She sighs, “I’ll meet Mrs. Mills in two days. I’ll let her speak, let her explain and try to understand her side of things.”

That’s new to Rufus. He was on a break when she talked to Jody Mills.

Rufus nods, “You know that you can pull out of it, I gave you the permission to.”

“I know. Thanks, Rufus.”

She hears him clicking on his mouse, hears the computer being shut down.

He stands up, “You’re happy Y/N, I can tell.”

She gnaws on her bottom lip and it spreads into a smirk, “I am,”

“Good. That’s good,” Rufus says, picking up his suit jacket to put it on, “I love seeing you happy. I don’t even think I’ve seen you happy. And if it’s all that Winchester boy’s doing, I’d say that you should keep him close. He’s a good one, I can tell. He was being all proper when I talked to him last.”

She has to smile at that, because yeah, it sounds like Dean. He always has a way to charm himself out of any kind of situation. It’s frustrating really, because the teachers let him get away with so much. Especially the female teachers.

“Seriously, Y/N,” Rufus says as he waits for her to pick up her things to drive her to Dean’s, “I mean it. If anyone deserves a little happiness, it’s you. And if he should cross you, let me know, I have five dogs and some friends.”

“I will,” She snorts, has to hold back a laugh. But it’s cute and she really appreciates Rufus’s protectiveness over her.

Y/N decides to drop by his office before going up to the loft. She finds Dean hunched over his desk, his head rests on his arms.

Approaching carefully, she reaches out a hand, touches his shoulder and Dean jolts up. In that moment, his computer screen comes back to life as well. She really didn’t want to look but she couldn’t not notice the list of names. Male and female ones alike. She’s curious what it’s about, but again, it’s not really her place to ask. The title of the document says Potential Leads . Her trained eyes can not unsee that.

Dean sits up straight, pinches at the bridge of his nose and then he rolls his chair back and grabs at her wrist, pulling her sideways into his lap with a force that makes her squeal in delight. She ends up giggling on his lap while Dean kisses the tip of her nose, her cheek, the corner of her mouth.

“How are you?” He asks, his hand strokes at her thigh while the other one tucks a strand of loose hair behind her ear. He lets his fingertips travel over her cheeks and her nose, as if her face is written in braille and he wants to memorize and read every word.

“Good,” She answers him and leans down, buries her forehead into the crook of his neck, scruff rough on her skin. She smells his cologne, his musk from the day. Her nose brushes against his throat and she nuzzles her face deeper into it while he wraps his arms around her, “Not as tired as you, apparently,” She says with a smirk.

It feels good being with him, and she can’t help to fall for Dean. It’s just a couple of days but it feels right, it feels like she’s found the piece of the puzzle she’s been missing growing up. She wonders if it’ll stay good. Good things never last in her life. She can’t help but feel a little sad that she’s going to move out, even though it's what she wants. Although it’s convenient this way. It’s convenient to come home to him and they get to see each other without having to schedule anything. Without having to send out texts and making calls, asking when they both will be free or available.

Oh well, one can’t have it all, she knows that.

Dean tilts his head, leaves a lingering kiss on her forehead, “Yeah, I’m tired. Why don’t you go up and I’ll finish here. I promise I won’t be long.”

She sits up, looks him in the eye. They’re weary. There’s clearly something that bothers him, “Is something wrong?” She asks, because she can not not ask.

“Nah,” He sighs and places his lips to her temple.

They sit in silence for a little while until Dean starts to speak again, “I get threats every now and then but lately, it increased and they damaged some property. The police just want some names, but it’s really nothing for you to be worried about, okay?”

She frowns and Dean thumbs at the crease between her eyebrows, “Is that common in your line of work?”

Dean snorts, “Yeah, pretty much. There are a lot of jealous people,” He pulls her closer, hugging her tighter and rests his chin on the top of her head, “I can deal with it, but it’s a whole different story if you’re involved.”

Her ear is on his chest and she hears the bass of his voice vibrating.

“‘S that why you’re worried about my safety?”

“Uh-huh,”

Y/N takes time to think and then it dawns on her, “You think the break in of my apartment has something to do with it?”

He breathes evenly but she can hear his heartbeat picking up pace, “I don’t know. I don’t think so, and I hope it was just a coincidence.” With his next breath he adds, “I’m sorry, it’s just… I never had a woman as close to me as you are now, and I guess that makes you a target and my Achilles heel. In hindsight, I should have never taken you to the party. I’m sorry about that.” He kisses the top of her head.

She doesn’t really care about the threats, though. All she heard was the fact that he said that she’s the first woman that’s been close to him. She wants to ask him if it’s true. If she’s the first one who has got to know the real Dean. If she’s the first one he really cares about. But she doesn’t ask, thinks it’s not really the right time.

“‘S okay,” She says, nuzzles her face deeper into the base of his throat, “I’m a big girl. I can handle what life throws at me.”

“I know that,” Dean chuckles, “But I would be super bummed if you were to be harmed.”

Y/N frowns, “You think they will go that far?”

Dean shrugs, “I don’t know. Fact is, you’re my girl, and I need you to be careful out there, alright?”

My girl.

Her heart flutters at that.

She chuckles softly and Dean pushes her away a little,

“What?” He asks but he’s smirking.

Still grinning, she says, “You said I’m your girl,”

He smiles and tucks her hair behind both her ears with his hands, leaves them on the side of her face, cradling it between his big palms, “That’s because you are,” He moves closer, their noses touch, lips ghosting over each others, “Wouldn’t want to have any other,” He kisses her, soft and gently, tongue teasing along her teeth. She tastes whiskey on the tip of his tongue.

Just when she wants to melt into the kiss, Dean breaks it abruptly, “You should go up so I can finish this. If you stay, I don’t think I can keep my hands to myself.”

Chuckling, she kisses his nose and gets up from his lap.

It’s an hour later when Dean finishes and he’s so goddamn tired, he almost crawls along the floor to his loft. Lack of sleep last night and being on edge the whole day does weird things to your body.

He finds her in bed, laying on her stomach, reading. And she’s wearing only panties. Dean shrugs off his jacket right by the door, drops it and begins to unbutton his shirt while he strolls closer to the bed. Next he works on his pants and leaves a trail of clothes along the way.

When he’s standing by the foot of the bed, he’s only dressed in his underwear and his dick stirs in his pants. He tries his best to ignore it.

Dean crawls up to her, spreads kisses on both her ass cheeks and rests his head on it, using her butt as a comfortable pillow, “So tired,” He groans and she chuckles. Her hand reaches behind to thread through the top of his head and Dean leans into the touch, bathes himself in the feel.

Before he can make himself too comfortable, he pushes himself away, “I’m taking a quick shower,”

He showers real quick, still ignoring his dick that’s already hard and heavy, because that’s not what he wants right now — which is weird because it’s almost always what he wants. Guess she changed him.

Dean walks out, his body still damp, a pair of fresh underwear on, and crawls into bed. She’s already waiting, has abandoned her book and is curled up on her side. He spoons her from behind and she turns herself, curls against his side and buries her face into the crook of his neck. He feels her naked chest pressing against his.

When she looks up to him, Dean steals a kiss, kissing her forehead while he tucks her hair behind her ear. His thumb paints along her eyebrow, her nose, down to her lips. He kisses her, all soft and smooth, the hand that’s on her waist kneads her flesh.

She bucks her hips, grinding her lower body against him and he has to chuckle. She’s a needy little thing but he’s not going to give in. Instead, he manhandles her around, buries his face into the nape of her neck, spraying kisses there, “Baby, we should get some sleep,”

Y/N whines at that, backs up her ass into his bulge but Dean’s hand is on her waist, holds her steady. After a while, she gives up.

He’s stroking her with one hand while she lies in his arm, hand travelling over bumpy territory, trying to memorize her every crease and every bump with the tip of his fingers. He listens to her steady heartbeat, listens to her breathing even out.

No, sex is definitely not the only thing he wants with her. He wants all the other things right now, and he doesn’t even know himself anymore. It’s different with her. He doesn’t want her to think that it’s only about the club. That it’s only about the rooms he shows her.

Dean thinks that everyone can like the wonderful part of a person. The trick is to accept their flaws. In this short time, he has learned to accept her flaws, can honestly and truly say that he can work with them, can work around them, can make something out of it. The good things, he knows, will always be there. It’s the things underneath that are challenging. But it’s a challenge he’s ready to face.

Fuck , Dean thinks to himself, he’s falling fast down the rabbit hole that is her and even though it should scare him—

—strangely, it doesn’t.

Chapter 15

#euphoria #spnkinkbingo #dean winchester #dean winchester fic #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester fan fiction #nathalie writes

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angelanimedesaray · 4 years ago

Text

Through the Looking Glass Chapter 7: Revelation

AN: Ah, yes, finally. This chapter. That is all hahaha. Also they’re probably young teenagers at this point. 13, 14 years old, roughly.

Characters: Levi, Reader, Reader’s Mother (Mentioned)

Pairing: (Eventual) Levi x Reader

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 5050

<----Previous Chapter Masterlist Next Chapter---->

*Reader's POV*

For the first time since Levi first appeared in your life, he didn't disappear shortly after arriving. He stayed with you until his fever finally broke.

Keeping him hidden from your mother was nothing short of a miracle. You didn’t want him getting discovered and sent somewhere else to recover, because what he needed was to be here after what happened to him--he wanted to be here, too, from what you could see.

In order to hide him, he had to stay in your tent the entire time, which you declared your fort to your mother and were allowed to keep as long as it didn’t get in the way, and you washed everything when you were done. That meant you had to shift it off your bed and make it a little smaller, but Levi still had plenty of room, and you could still fit underneath.

You didn’t do much while he was in the tent, though. He was sick, and he spent his time with you recovering, wrapped up in blankets and getting medicine every twelve hours while you kept up a steady stream of water and occasional Gatorade to help him get better. You would crawl into the tent and lay down next to him when you had the time, telling him stories and simply keeping him company. You strategically smuggled him bowls of canned soup when your mom wasn’t home because of work or she had to make a grocery run, so he wasn’t going hungry.

There was one point when his fever got really bad, the point your mom used to tell you was right before it broke when you were sick. You spent the whole time next to him, gently sponging his head and murmuring quiet reassurances and stories to him while he shivered and moved restlessly, occasionally murmuring out feverish nonsense, calming slightly when you would brush the hair from his face. Since it calmed him down, you kept doing it, running your fingers through his hair while you talked softly to him and he rested. With how much he slept in the couple days he was with you, you wondered how much rest he actually got back home.

There were a few heart-stopping moments when you thought your mother might catch you hiding Levi in your room, but you managed to play it off each time, either by claiming you were playing a game in your tent, or hiding Levi under the blankets, or claiming it was a kids only tent, and giants weren’t allowed. Typical kids stuff to keep the tent area off limits.

When Levi’s fever finally broke, he was still out of it and drained, but you could tell by a simple touch on his forehead that he wasn’t burning up anymore. It was a relief, with a pressure lifting off your chest you hadn’t known was there to see that he was going to be okay--at least in regards to his health. You still stayed with him, though, curled up next to him in the tent and even falling asleep there beside him.

When you woke up the morning after his fever broke in the tent, he was gone, and at long last, you finally questioned what happened, and considered the impossibility of his knack of disappearing into thin air. No longer did you think it could have simply been from inattention on your part, or that it was in any way normal. Especially because you knew that he was not in any state to have gotten up and left on his own before you woke up.

So what was happening?

*Levi's POV*

Levi sat cross-legged in the open space he’d recently managed to find, hands loosely held together in his lap as he gazed down at the grassy ground, sunlight shining down on him from the hole above him. He was lost in his own thoughts, confused and faced with an impossible reality, which was why he’d sought some refuge in a quiet space by himself, complete with fresh air filtering down from the surface.

He’d managed to make it up to the surface. Briefly, but after what happened to him, he was extra determined to force his way to the surface if he had to.

Based off how well Y/N had lived, Levi had assumed that she would be somewhere within Wall Sina, and all he would have to do would be to evade the Military Police long enough to find a street familiar to where she lived. He covered quite a bit of distance looking for her home, or at least something familiar from his time with her. The longer he spent topside, though, the more he realized nothing looked like the place Y/N lived, even at the centermost, opulent part of Sina where the wealthiest lived.

She wasn’t up there. All this time, he’d thought she was somewhere just above his head waiting for him, when really…

Levi let himself get caught and thrown back after that realization. Originally he’d thought if he found her, they might be able to figure something out so he could stay. That went out the window when he realized she wasn’t there. If it wasn’t for the fact that he still wanted to live somewhere other than the Underground, somewhere clean and free of the filth underground, he might have thrown out any idea of going to the surface after realizing it wasn’t anywhere close to what he’d thought it would be.

It was still better than the Underground, and he still wanted to find a way up there. The glaring question remained, though…

Where the hell was Y/N? He knew all that time spent with her wasn’t some strange continuing fever dream--it was real. He couldn’t explain it--how he got there, what sent him there, or even where there was, but he knew it was real, that she was real.

Where was he supposed to go from here?

Levi closed his eyes, running his hand slowly through his hair as he tried to grapple what he knew and figure it out from there. Carriages that didn’t need horses, smooth stone streets, intricate clean water systems, colorful, variety of foods easily on hand, light without fire inside homes…

And how had he gotten there in the first place? When...it was happening, it had been like he was being thrown between reality and a nightmare, except he’d been painfully aware that both were reality. But he hadn’t moved from either spot as he went back and forth. He’d stayed in the same pinned position in one reality, and was held in her arms in another, with no time passing when he’d...jump between the two.

None of this made sense to him. He thought he was going to be sick again, or at the very least give himself a painful migraine.

The smell in the air changed, the breeze and natural sunlight disappeared, and Levi lifted his head instinctually, opening his eyes to find himself cross legged on Y/N’s bedroom floor, looking up at her as she turned from where she’d been getting up from her desk, freezing in place when she saw him just...sitting there.

And the mystery continued.

Anger rose inside him--not at her, more at the situation he found himself in and the complete, nonsensical nature of it all--and he got to his feet before she could react, his eyes stormy.

“What the fuck is this?” Levi snapped, arm spread out to indicate the world around them. Knowing that simple sentence could easily be taken out of context and misconstrued with how out of the blue it was, he pressed on before she could answer the first question. “None of this is normal, it’s not even possible! A person doesn’t blink and find themselves somewhere else entirely--and I don’t even know where here is, because it sure as hell isn’t in the Walls!”

She hesitated in front of him, teeth biting down slightly into her lower lip as she endured his outburst, concern and a reflection of his own confusion in her gaze. “I think we need to talk.”

“You don’t say,” he said bitingly.

She ignored his sour tone, putting her hair up and heading for the door. “C’mon--this is probably a conversation to have in private, and we’ll have a better chance of that if we’re out of the house when my mom comes home,” she said. Levi followed with an impatient air, watching her scribble a note to her mother telling the woman she was going to be at the park before they headed out of the house, Levi falling into step beside her.

“Last time got me thinking about this whole situation, too,” she started quietly as they walked, eyes fixed forward and a small frown on her face. “I still don’t know what happened, and I don’t expect you to tell me, but your sudden appearance and then your later disappearance, whatever happened in that clearing…”

She let out a slow breath, eyes cast downwards for a moment. “When we were younger, I didn’t think anything of it--it was just normal for us, you know? But after that, it was a bit of a rude wake up call. I started thinking about what little you’ve told me about where you’re from and how much you haven’t encountered before.” She turned to meet his gaze. “You said you were from someplace called the Underground, right?”

Levi nodded, gaze fixed steadily on her as he waited for her to get to the point instead of ramble on about a bunch of things he already knew because he’d been the one to experience it or he’d come to the questions on his own.

“Well, I looked into it to see if I could find the place you were talking about. I came up with things like the Underground Railroad, or a bunch of clubs, a general reference to any shady business that isn’t done in broad daylight or to anything that’s done in secret with an exclusive group, a reference to the activities in 1920s Prohibition, shows, shopping centers underground, but I couldn’t find a place called the Underground that was an actual city like you...well, vaguely described. It doesn’t exist.”

“I live there--I’m pretty certain it exists,” Levi deadpanned, all the while trying to figure out what parts of her explanation meant. 1920s? Surely she didn’t mean a decade--they were only in the 800s.

“Yes, for you it does, but here, it doesn’t.”

“You’re not making any sense.”

“Okay then--these walls you just mentioned back there--what did you mean by that?”

For some reason, some strange kind of dread was settling in his stomach as they spoke. “Wall Maria, Wall Rose, Wall Sina, the three walls on the surface that keep out the Titans from destroying the rest of humanity.”

Y/N did a full stop, blinking rapidly and visibly leaning back as she processed that information as if she’d never heard of such a thing before. The sinking feeling in Levi’s gut seemed to solidify.

“We are going to come back to that, but for now, proving my point,” she eventually said, resuming her pace. “We have nothing like that. Sure, there’s the Great Wall of China and what’s left of the Berlin wall, but we don’t have any Maria, Rose, Sina, walls. The only titans I can think of are the beings that came before gods in Greek mythology. And I’m pretty sure humanity isn’t on the brink of destruction, because there’s billions worldwide.”

Levi held out a hand to stop her, doing his best to hide just how disturbed he was right now. Once again, he wasn’t recognizing some of the names she threw out, and what she was starting to suggest was crazy talk. “That’s impossible.”

“That’s my point--well, what I’m trying to say is going to sound absolutely insane. I’ve never been so glad in my life to read and watch a bunch of fiction,” she said with a slightly wistful look on her face before turning to face Levi entirely. “I don’t think we’re from the same world--or even the same universe,” she said, throwing her arms out wide.

Levi stared at her for a few moments, long enough that she put her arms down and asked, “What?”

“You’ve lost your damn mind,” he said flatly, turning to walk away and continue down the path. She jogged to catch back up, letting out a frustrated huff.

“I know it sounds crazy, but it’s the only explanation I’ve got--have you got something better?” When Levi hesitated, she plowed forward. “I know you’re real, and you know I’m real--we’ve established that by now. You know where you come from, I know where I come from--and you’ve seen where I live, we’re here right now! So the Underground, these walls, whatever those Titans you mentioned are, they’re real, for you, but they’re not here where I live.”

“This has to be some kind of hallucination,” he muttered, a hand pressed to his forehead. It made sense. Maybe he wasn’t as adjusted as he thought he was, and this was a running hallucination he’d developed in his own mind to help him cope with his shit life.

Though he knew he wasn’t smart enough to come up with half the shit he saw when he was here.

But another world? That was insanity. It couldn’t be possible--it couldn’t!

Y/N grabbed his shoulders and made him face her, her face suddenly filled with surprising seriousness. “It’s not a hallucination!” she nearly shouted in a tone much harsher than he thought she might have intended for it to come out. “We’re both real--I can feel you, you can feel me. I’ve taken care of you, and you’ve helped me. We’ve played together, I’ve given you food, I’ve carried you on my back. I’m real, and you know it, just like I know you’re real despite what everyone else says.”

There were angry tears in her eyes, and for a moment, Levi got the sense that there was a lot more going on here with that exclamation than their current discussion. He was going to have to pry into that a little more later, but right now, they had to settle on a reality.

“Say I believe your crazy theory,” he said, easily pushing off her arms with one smooth motion as he spoke. “How the hell am I getting thrown into another world, or another universe, without any time passing in my world? And why, for that matter?”

“Time doesn’t pass in your world when you’re here?” she asked in a puzzled voice. Levi shifted uncomfortably.

“No. Except once,” he muttered, looking away, though he was certain that was an exception and had more to do with bouncing between--

Shit, he was buying into this already, wasn’t he?

“I don’t know how or why, I’m not Einstein, I just know it’s happening,” she said with a huff, starting back on the path again. The forest was coming closer, the same one they’d been in last time he thought, and a part of him recoiled inside at the thought of going back to the clearing.

He really hoped she had more tact than to try and bring them there.

“Also, why the hell aren’t you freaking out about all this? You’re way too calm,” he scowled.

“I’ve had time to go over my theory and come to terms with it. It’s the only explanation I have, so it’s the one I’m going with.”

Levi fell silent, frowning as he walked with her, that sinking feeling in his gut growing more prominent and defined.

If he believed her, and this was all a different world...that meant that no matter how much he clawed and fought his way up the food chain, he wasn’t going to reach this place. All of it was...unattainable, because it didn’t exist in /his/ world, and he never got to stay in this world.

It was fucked up.

And maybe that was part of the reason why he couldn’t accept it.

No, what he couldn’t accept was that he got to be teased with glimpses into another world, of a life he was denied and could never really have. The fucked up parts were the believable parts, what made this easier to swallow.

He could never stay, and there wasn’t anything like this for him to find in his world, so it was something he could never have shoved into his face but always slipping out of his grasp.

It fell perfectly in tune with the shit life he’d had so far.

Y/N grasped his wrist lightly, pulling him in the direction of a forest path. He lightly pulled his wrist free this time, and she turned her head away so he wouldn’t see her reaction. He was still following her into the forest, though--he just wasn’t letting her pull him along like a limp doll.

“I figured now that we know this is what’s happening--what might be happening--” she corrected after seeing the still-doubtful look on his face. If it was their reality, it was going to be a while for Levi to actually swallow it. “We can at least talk to each other about our realities. It might help us figure out what’s going on. Or at least make it more real. And we’ll know more about each other.”

Her tone sounded like she was trying to stay positive, but Levi was currently too caught up in the shitty end of the stick he was left holding while she seemed ecstatic, like she was discovering new land and reading a good book. It made him feel sick. She got all the good parts of this situation, a friend and a discovery, but what did he get? He was the starving man in front of the feast he couldn’t have.

“What’s the fucking point?” he said venomously, and she came to a full halt at his tone, taken aback and--now he could see it--hurt by his tone. But he pressed on, hurt and angry himself at the unfairness of the situation. “Sure, it’s all great for you, so fucking exciting, but me? My life’s shit. Before I found my way to the surface, I thought this was right there if I tried hard enough, but now--now you’re telling me it’s a whole ‘nother world. What the fuck is this for me other than the universe showing me more shit I can’t have? What’s the point if I’m just going to keep getting kicked back into the goddamn dirt every time I see this place. It doesn’t even fucking matter, does it?” Levi fumed.

It had to be the most he’d ever spoken to her at once, and here he was using it to shoot barbs at her. But right now he was too mad to care.

Her eyes were downcast, lips pressed together, shoulders slightly hunched. She might have been on the edge of tears. In that moment, he started to regret his barbed words. Yes, he was angry. In the past he’d envied her what she had, but it had always been soothed by the thought that he might be able to reach it in the future. He didn’t have that anymore. So far, he’d always been here in flickers, a few days at the most before he was inevitably sent back to the exact moment he’d left.

What did it matter if he couldn’t stay? What did it matter if nothing changed? This was her reality, she got to stay here, while he was kicked back into the dirt--literally. He hated it, and he thought a part of him might hate her for it.

“It’s still real, though,” she said softly, her voice a mere whisper and trembling with her barely held back tears. “Your time here isn’t any less real. It still counts for something.”

”...I didn’t want you to be alone…”

”I’m happy you came back, Levi.” “Me too.” “You’ll have to go back though, right?” “Yeah.” “Promise you’ll come back, again?” “All Right.”

Piano music filtered through the air, soft and gentle, even if it occasionally stuttered or halted under fingers that were still learning.

“I won’t leave, Levi. Not really. I’ll always be here when you need me most. I’m usually here waiting and looking for you to come back, anyway.”

”Let’s get you home so you can get clean.”

He was surrounded in warmth and comfort, a hand gently rubbing his back, another small body curled up close to him, offering him companionship and care...

”You’re going to be okay...I’m right here…

Levi looked away.

She was right. He was just letting his anger get the best of him. It still mattered. Every bit of it. Or was he really going to say that every kindness she’d extended to him meant nothing because she happened to--damn, he was admitting it--be from another world? No. Those kindnesses had meant everything to him--especially when they first met. When Kenny left. And recently…

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, feeling chastised by himself for speaking so harshly to her and making her tear up. Shit, what was wrong with him?

She didn’t say anything. The silence stretched a little longer between them before she spoke up again.

“Tell me about where you come from?” she asked timidly, and Levi looked at her doubtfully again, thinking of all those times he’d stayed quiet to shelter her from his reality. Now he knew even the surface was worse than anything she had to deal with here, after that comment about humanity not being on the brink of extinction and Titans not even being a reality here.

“I want to understand…” she hesitated, withdrew into herself a little, and backtracked to rephrase her words. What had she been about to say? “Maybe if I know more about where you’re from, I can understand why this is difficult for you? I don’t want to be insensitive or ignorant, I just...I just want to help. And I can help better if I know,” she finished in a tiny voice.

“You don’t want to know about where I’m from--” Levi started to say dismissively, but she cut him off with that rare spark he kept glimpsing returning for a brief moment.

“I do,” she said firmly, a hard edge in her eyes before her features softened again. “Besides, if you explain what your world is like, it might make explaining mine a little easier.”

She always charged in headfirst with the emotional stuff before adding the emotional stuff to try and be convincing.

He didn’t like the thought of exposing her to the dark underbelly that was his world, but she was so earnest--she really did want to understand, and as long as he’d known her, she’d always wanted to help in some way or another. She’d always been helpful and caring, and he really hoped that talking about a place as dark as where he came from wasn’t going to taint that.

“Fine.”

He would talk about it, but he was still going to try and water it down for her sake. She didn’t need to know the gritty details, just the general gist of what his world was like. He could spend his time focusing on the technical parts and gloss over the graphicness of his life.

The two of them kept walking down the path until they found a stump to sit on just off the path, sitting side by side on the rim of the stump as they started to talk about their worlds, where they were from, what it was like, and answered questions from one another about certain details or things they had.

He felt shaken after their conversation.

The way she talked about her world, it made it look like Levi was stuck in the stone age or something. Machines that did chores for them and performed crafting tasks that for him there were entire professional trades revolving around, transportation without horses, boats that flew in the air, lights that ran on some kind of power like lightning, machines to control the temperature inside houses, a world brimming with people and no man eating creatures bent on destroying them.

Besides man itself.

Hell, he began to wonder why there would be any interest in his world once he realized just how behind his world was. Of course it was a different world, but still, it was even less interesting when Levi was trapped below ground and couldn’t tell her much about the world above him besides what he’d heard in stories and the brief glimpse he got running around trying to find her.

She did slip up and say that it was like something out of one of her dark fantasy books, but she’d caught how insensitive that had sounded and quickly apologized, cheeks burning.

There was plenty to talk about and discover about their worlds, but after a while, their throats started to hurt from all the talking, and they grew quiet. Leaning against one another on the stump, Levi gazed up at the canopy of trees above them, listening to the sounds of the forest and Y/N’s breathing beside him.

“Levi?” she eventually asked in a soft voice. He shifted slightly to look at her, wondering what she would ask about next.

“What happened? The last time you where here?” she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

“You don’t want to know,” he said bluntly, voice coming off stiff and distant.

“I’m not stupid. I know it was bad. I know you got really hurt...and there’s only one way there was that much blood afterwards--”

“Stop asking,” Levi cut her off, pulling away and standing up again to walk a few steps away and try and cool down. Not only did he not want her to know what had happened, to not realize where he lived was that dangerous, but he didn’t want to be thinking about it, he didn’t want to be reliving it.

He turned back to face her, and she’d pulled her knees up to her chest, looking every bit the kid that they both still were. Though they sure weren’t acting like it. His situation explained itself. Hers? She was starting to show a maturity beyond her age with how she’d handled the last experience.

Now that he thought about it...even when they’d been smaller, with all the times she’d asked to play games and have fun, she’d had an...awareness, about her. There was the discussion they’d had after she’d been beat up at school, and the time when her parents were fighting about her father going back to war. Hell, she’d said it herself when they were younger that she’d noticed he didn’t play enough. Just because she was always acting carefree and playful around him didn’t mean she lacked maturity. She might have been doing it for his sake this entire time.

He needed to give her more credit. He still wasn’t going to willingly dump the fucked up parts of his life on her, but at least he could be a little wiser about her maturity and know better than to treat her like an ignorant child, even by accident.

“Okay,” she relented, her voice still low and soft. “But Levi? If you ever need to talk, or anything else, I’ll be here...okay?”

Levi didn’t answer or nod, looking back at the ground. He knew she would--she always had been so far, even if she didn’t understand. He knew she’d be there in the future, as long as he kept coming back here.

After a few more moments of silence, Y/N got to her feet again, facing him fully. “Well, we should probably head back to my house--it’ll get dark soon, and if my mom comes home and I’m gone for too long she’ll freak out. I can play the piano for you some more!” she offered cheerfully.

She really was on a mission to bolster his spirits whenever they were together, wasn’t she? Still, Levi shrugged and walked back over to her. “Knock yourself out,” he said casually, though he did feel that spark of interest inside him. He did like listening to her play the piano, and he never turned her down when she offered to play.

As they were walking back, something occurred to Levi, and he looked up at Y/N with slightly narrowed eyes. “Earlier...you said no one believed you when you mentioned me? You had your stuff taken for lying that one time, but you said you didn’t lie.”

Her face fell slightly, and she nodded reluctantly. “When we were younger my mom just wrote it off as me talking about imaginary friends. But when I kept talking about you despite being old enough to grow out of it, and I kept insisting you were real, they got worried. It stopped for a while after you brought me home because the cops had seen you too, even if it was briefly. But now...she has me seeing a doctor because I keep insisting you’re real.”

Levi’s eyes widened slightly, the seriousness of that statement falling over him and a few of her words shifting into sharper clarity and impact. He hadn’t known she was having to defend his existence over here--he hadn’t even known she’d told anyone else about him. And to hear her mother thought she was crazy talking about a boy her mother had never seen but had somehow followed them through all their moves across the country. It seemed like she was a hair’s breadth away from being called crazy, all because she refused to deny that he was real, even if he wasn’t around.

No wonder she’d reacted so strongly when he denied this was happening and it was some sick hallucination.

His jaw clenched, as did his hand at his side out of her view.

It was the best answer he could give. A sense of solidarity, and a removal of doubt from the one person she’d thought wouldn’t deny the reality of what was happening.

“I know you’re real, too.”

Next Chapter---->

Levi Tags: @clary-quinn @humanitys-hottestsoldier @whalerus @sunny-flo

Through The Looking Glass Tags: @artist-bby @kaz2y5-pie @tartheyes @super-peace-fangirl @huntersbunker @nefelimalfoy @soft-levi-girl-blog @honeygivemeachainsaw @regalillegal @sugas-daddy7 @cathyannecookie @chaoticshepardplaid @roayaloveslife��

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strawbewwysamurai · 4 years ago

Text

What tomorrow means to you

Characters: Denjiro, Kozuki Hiyori

Wordcount: 1898

Summary: The dawn was perhaps Denjiro’s favorite time of day.

It was an entirely peaceful time. Not only in the sense that very few souls were even awake at this hour, no, but that did contribute. Where he currently resided, it wasn’t all too far from the hustle and bustle of the city of the Flower Capital, but it was far enough that the sounds of it couldn’t be heard in the slightest. Leaving only the sounds of the local wildlife, and later on, nearby villagers and farmworkers working contently the only noises in this corner of the country.

It was also peaceful, because Denjiro hadn’t gotten to experience such quiet bliss in such a long time.

Post source should have ao3 link !

—

There was snow falling outside.

It wasn’t heavy though- just a light dusting floating slowly down in the cool air of morning. It was early, enough for just a few stars to remain faintly in the sky above, twinkling faintly among the ever changing colors above. The deep blues and purples of the night had already mostly faded away, making way for the warm oranges and pink of morning that the sun brought with it as it began to rise out over the horizon at the break of the dawn.

It was winter in the land of Wano, and the rays coming off of the sun reflected off of the ice and snow that had already fallen and formed late into the night, covering the ground and foliage around with frost that sparkled slightly in the light. It added a faint feeling of magic to the morning- the kind that you couldn’t even begin to explain- only experience for yourself or with whoever you might be with in the silence of the morning, enjoying it as wholly as you could before it faded away silently as day overtook it.

The dawn was perhaps Denjiro’s favorite time of day.

It was also peaceful, because Denjiro hadn’t gotten to experience such quiet bliss in such a long time.

He remembered back to years ago, a lifetime away when he was just a thief and conman, roaming the country and not staying in one place for very long. That usually meant he spent his nights camped outside somewhere, up a tree along the thick branches lying quietly as he watched the sunset, or on the ground spread out in a field as he gazed up at the stars sparkling gently above him before he drifted off to sleep that night.

He exhaled slowly, his breath in plumes against the chill of the air around him.

It had been a quiet time then, especially when contrasted to back before, when he was even younger. The early days when he was just a kid hustling shady adults on the streets- an orphan with no house or home to go back to in a physical sense, for the longest time.

The only places he had ever called home back then, was either anywhere Kin’emon was- or later, Oden castle itself.

Those… had been some wonderfully happy years.

Throughout everything that had happened thereafter- the anger and the grief that changed his appearance unrecognizably, but not the kindness in his heart- the fighting, the deals made with the men he hated more than anything else in the world, the grovelling and false cruelty… all of it. Throughout everything he had gone through over the decades to where he had been recently, he had thought of nothing but those years that he held so dearly even in the moments he had been experiencing them. Through every frustration, every doubt about the future that was coming, every bad day that tried to doubt the need to even see what the next would be like-

He closed his eyes slowly, holding them tightly shut for just a moment, before letting them open again to gaze at the sunrise in front of him, taking a deep breath as he did.

He wasn’t going to think about the hurt for today.

Today felt like it wanted to be a happy day. He would let it.

The sun had risen even higher, bathing the landscape surrounding him with the warm light of dawn. Some of the birds with nests nearby finally awakening and filling the morning air with the sounds of their sweet singing,and Denjiro was half tempted to hum along with them, to a song he couldn’t possibly know, when he heard gentle movement happening from behind him.

Listening carefully to it instead of the bird song, he heard faint movement from inside the house- the sounds of someone stepping lightly towards the door that led out to the balcony he was standing on- before the door slid quietly and someone stepped out behind him.

“You’re awake quite early.”

He smiled to himself, small and content as he closed his eyes gently for just a moment. Oh, how happy that voice had made him feel over all these years.

“I could say the very same to you too, little princess.”

He opened his eyes slowly when he felt her move across the balcony and over next to him, leaning on the railing as he was as she laughed softly and looked up at him with eyes still dusted with sleep, bedhead still leaving her hair in loose tangles around her head. She reached out a hand and swept a finger affectionately down his arm warmly.

“Can’t sleep, I take it?”

He turned to look down at her- the little girl he’d protected every moment he’d known her, and raised as his own after she had stumbled into his care after everything that happened so long ago. The fact of the latter showed- the little mischievous gleam she always had in her eyes, not just that of her father’s, but because of all the mostly harmless tricks he had taught her over the years.

His expression matched her own sweet and soft one, as he let out a content sigh.

“Mmm… I slept wonderfully last night, actually.”

“Oh, so you’re wide awake then?”

“It would seem so.” He chuckled, turning his head back up to face the sunrise before him. He breathed in before he spoke softly again.

“I am a bit thankful, really. It means I get to enjoy such a gorgeous view for a while.”

There was a peaceful silence between them then, as he watched the sky slowly cool from the warm hues it had carried seemingly moments ago, changing slowly into the blue it would remain for the rest of the day until evening, so long as a storm didn’t roll in unexpectedly. He didn’t expect one to, though. Not with the lack of signs that nodded towards a storm, and how vivid the sky was turning out to be for the day.

Though, as Hiyori turned to watch with him, it occurred to him that he hadn’t yet asked her what she was doing up so early herself. A question appropriate for the girl he knew who would always sleep in if given the chance to in the past.

He glanced down at her.

“Would you be awake for the same reason?”

She laughed, shaking her head. “No, I was just awake, and thought I would get to the laundry for the day before everyone else woke up so they wouldn’t have to worry about it. You know how Kin gets when it comes to chores.”

Denjiro rolled his eyes. “Oh yes, but of course. The man either had to do everything all by himself as rapidly as he can before he burns out, or make everyone work together the very moment they’re awake to get everything done. Quite a wonderful way to be woken in the morning, I might add.”

They smiled at each other at that, breaking down into quietly held back giggles before turning to look out towards the sunrise again. The memory of Kin’emon running around the house with a broom, bonking each vassal with the brush end until they woke up, screeching about the list of chores they had for the morning and exactly how long each should take if they all worked together playing over in their minds. The memory was distant, especially for Hiyori, having been so young when such events occurred, but it still felt like happiness when thought back on. How could they not giggle- the intense expressions Kin’emon was always wearing, and the yelling from Kawamatsu as his hat got knocked off by Kin’emon brandishing the broom like a sword…

It had felt like happiness, to say the least.

When Hiyori looked up at Denjiro silently again, all she could see painted across his face was an expression she could only describe as quiet bliss, not just from the memory of their family being such a lovable mess, but from the dawn in front of him. Something so simple as a sunrise- happening every single day without fail as long as you looked for it- had placed that expression upon his face. She blinked, before smiling just a little bit wider to herself.

She’d only seen him so happy, so content and relaxed, when she was just a small child.

Denjiro’s eyes flickered down to meet hers a moment later, and she failed to look away quickly enough for him to not notice her staring up at him. He just let out a soft hum, a warm sound against the bite of the air around them, as he reached a hand over to flick a finger gently down her nose before sitting back from the railing.

“Come on then, my lady. Let’s get going back inside before you catch a cold.”

She pouted- puffing out her cheeks at the latter remark. “I’m fine for a while longer, you know.”

Nevertheless, she followed him at his side as he laughed and reached down to give her hair a gentle ruffle, surely adding a few extra tangles to her bed head that she probably wouldn’t even notice.

“Sure you are, but I don’t want Kawamatsu getting on my case if you end up with the sniffles later on, my lady.”

She crossed her arms over her chest with a fake little ‘hmph’, but didn’t stop following next to him for even a second. They stepped back towards the inside of the house, and away from the balcony as Denjiro cast one more little glance over his shoulder to the remains of the sunrise behind him.

It truly was one of a kind, changing and disappearing slowly as the sun rose higher and brought with it the dawn. By now he could begin to hear the faint movements of the nearby villages and houses stirring to life as the people within them began to awaken and begin their days. From the livestock and animals calling out to be fed by their owners, to the faint squeaking of garden gates and wagon wheels as people began to work or prepare breakfast. All their little sounds were filling the air.

Yes, the dawn itself was fleeting. But with it, it brought opportunity. Chances to spend with the ones you loved, doing the things you loved even if just for a little while. To share laughter and smiles just existing next to someone who you held so closely to your heart, like he was so lucky to be able to even throughout all these years.

He smiled to himself as he stepped tenderly back inside, a moment behind Hiyori.

For once… he actually couldn’t wait to see what tomorrow would look like.

#one piece #op #denjiro #kozuki hiyori #kyoshiro #one piece fanfic #alphabet soup #look i just really love them a lot okay #i really wish hiyori knew her dad but denjiro is such a good father figure for her where oden couldnt make it to be #wano spoilers #op manga spoilers

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chocoholicannanymous · 4 years ago

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(Take) These Broken Wings (Glee) 8/?

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, and you couldn’t pay me enough to take responsibility for it.

Post BIOTA: For someone who’d claimed to be his friend Blaine’s behavior sure left a lot to wish for. Hurt and angry Kurt begins to question his situation – and what he can do to change it.

POV: Kurt Hummel. Pairings: kurtofsky, blainchel. Slightly shady relationship-consent. Not Blaine friendly (no suprise at all).

So, not only do you get another chapter already (I know, what happened?) but it’s a long one. You’re welcome. Here’s hoping I can keep this up!

Previous: Part 7, Part 6, Part 5, Part 4, Part 3, Part 2b, Part 2a, Part 1

8/?

“Mr Schue? Before we get started I have an announcement I'd like to share.”

While most of the New Directions grumbled Rachel ignored them and stood up. Kurt on his part was looking sharply at her, because something was off. Not only had Rachel not mentioned having a song, she hadn't left the seats to stand by the piano.

Yeah, something was up.

“Blaine and I have broken up. I listened to what you were saying, and I have been thinking hard about it, and the truth is that being in rival show choirs was just too big of a stressor on our relationship as was the fact that us being a couple made it so that you all couldn't trust me. It was a hard decision, but I couldn't do anything else. We're going to try and be friends still, of course, but that's all.

“Thank you for listening to me, and for showing me understanding in these trying times.”

With that she sat down, looking demure, and Kurt shook his head a little – a move he got away with only by sitting in the back row.

The only surprising thing here – besides Rachel not taking the opportunity to perform – was how long the breakup had taken. There had even been a betting pool, and “blainchel” (which really, it sounded like a venereal disease) had surpassed every single bet.

Even Santana, who Kurt felt should have been the most supportive in regards to bisexuality, had put them down at two weeks at the most.

He hadn't participated himself, for a number of reason, and in the end was probably the least surprised one.

Yes, Blaine and Rachel had been a very bad fit, but they'd also had a lot of reasons to stay together. Rachel hadn't exactly been subtle in her attempts to rub her new boyfriend in Finn's face, and Blaine... Well, Blaine had had something to prove hadn't he? After all Kurt, had basically called his attempt at dating Rachel a sham and Blaine had not liked that.

There was also Blaine's hints to Burt Hummel that his own dad had tried to make him straight.

Blaine definitely had something to gain from a continued relationship with a girl.

Oh, Rachel probably hadn't been the best choice for that, seeing as the two were not all that compatible. They were just too similar, equally eager for the spotlight, equally needy for attention.

Even if Blaine had decided he was attracted to girls- and Kurt still wasn't sure that was the case – Rachel would always be too occupied with her own need to be admired to give Blaine what he needed.

Case in point? It had taken one week for Rachel to announce a breakup after having being told off for Blaine being a risk for the New Directions. One. Week. She'd spent their entire relationship telling everyone who would stand still – and quite possibly a few that wouldn't – that her relationship with Blaine was all but written in the stars, as would their names be in the future. Together, of course, as they were just such a suited couple, both with the same dreams and ambitions and goals.

And yet as soon as Rachel thought said relationship was risking her solos Blaine was gone. In a fit of cruelty Kurt thought that they both had been looking more for a “biggest fan” than a partner.

Regardless, they were over now and Kurt hoped that it meant he wouldn't have to be subjected to Blaine again.

He cleared his mind of them both – such a waste of valuable seconds – and instead switched from pretending to listen to Mr Schue to actually doing so as the man described the latest development in their quest to not fuck up at Nationals. Oh, he didn't it call it that, but Kurt was fairly adept at translating Mr Scue-isms to reality by now.

Things are about to become interesting...

Kurt perked up and watched Rachel like a hawk. It would be very telling how she reacted to what Mr Schue was about to say – or at least, what Kurt believed the man was about to say based.

“So! To that end I've recruited some more members. Now, they won't be here until next week since I wanted to give you guys a heads up first, and I hope you'll welcome them.”

Eight Cheerios, two of them guys. Five Titans. Exactly the kind of people who never would have signed up on their own, and who most of the Glee kids would never want to sign up.

Everyone turned to stare at Rachel and when she stayed quiet – though, Kurt thought, not without a fight – they looked at him instead.

“What? Are you waiting for me to protest or what, faint in fear or something? We need the numbers, and it's not like we've done that great a job at recruiting on our own. I've worked with the Cheerios and while I can't speak for their singing each and everyone of them mean we can kick our choreography up another notch.

“As for the guys from the Titans... Well. I am going to trust that they're smart enough to not just follow directions – which they clearly managed during the halftime show – but also leave any ideas of bullying outside this room. After all, McKinley's supposed to be free from that now.”

“But, but, Karofsky's one of them!”

Which Kurt already knew. Dave had told him both about being approached and about considering it – It'll look good on college applications. Make me “well rounded” or some shit like that – and Kurt hadn't seen a problem with it. The opposite in fact. After all, Glee had helped turn Finn and Puck around (in varying degrees) and Kurt liked to think that it'd help do the same for more jocks.

“So? I'm sorry, Mercedes, but I am not seeing a problem here. Dave Karofsky has apologized to me. He has made promises to not just me, but to this school, and so far he's kept them. He has been part of my escort around school ever since I came back, and not once has he given me reason to fear him.

“If any of you want to have an issue with him, or any one of the others, joining us that's your right. Just don't expect to use me as a weapon in that fight. Because to be frank? Right now Dave Karofsky has done more to balance his scales than at least half the people in this room.”

And that shut them all down, just as Kurt had know it would.

Curiously, Rachel didn't say a word the entire time.

Another week and a half went by before the other shoe dropped.

It did so in the form of a phone call.

It wasn't a number from his contact list, but Kurt had thought it familiar so he answered anyway. He regretted it immediately.

“Kurt, hello.”

“Blaine.” Why? What did I do to deserve this?

“I was hoping we'd be able to meet up tomorrow, say at the coffee shop two blocks from Dalton? Would 2 o'clock suit you?”

Kurt had to struggle to make his voice work. Not only was Blaine calling him, but he wanted to meet? Was he asleep? Was this a nightmare brought on as punishment for having had a second slice of cheesecake after dinner? He pinched himself, and no, that hurt.

No such luck then.

“I'm sorry, but I have other plans tomorrow. Besides, I can't see what we would have to say to each other.” I definitely said everything I was willing to last time I saw you.

“Come on, Kurt. Don't be like that. Just come tomorrow.”

“Did you not hear me? I have other plans. I'd say sorry, but I'm actually not. Goodbye Blaine.”

When the doorbell rang shortly after 10 the next morning Kurt considered not opening. Somehow he wouldn't be surprised to find out that Blaine had called Rachel to complain about Kurt being mean, or unreasonable, and that she'd come to lecture him about kicking someone who was already down. The problem was that if it was Rachel then not opening would lead to either her ringing the bell again and again until Finn woke up and came to open or her being a bitch in school.

Neither was appealing, so he sighed and went to open.

Pro: It wasn't Rachel. Con: It was Blaine.

“Good morning Kurt.”

“What are you doing here? I told you I have plans.”

“Well, I knew you weren't being honest about that. Mercedes is at Rachel's, having some girl-time.”

Kurt waited for something more, anything, but nothing came.

“So what, you think I have no one to spend time except those two? Nice. I'm sure you'll be happy to find out that's not true. Also, there is such a thing that having plans on your own.”

“But if you're just doing something on your own then surely that can wait, and you can spend some time with me instead.”

“I suppose it could,” and Blaine's smile practically radiated superiority, “if I was doing something on my own, and if I wanted to spend time with you.”

The smile vanished.

“Kurt.”

It was just his name, but Kurt could hear so many things in it. “I'm disappointed in you.” “You're being ridiculous.” Too bad for Blaine that Kurt's done listening to those silent rebukes.

“I don't understand why you're pushing this. The last time I saw you at Dalton we hadn't spoken in weeks. Because you didn't want to.”

“You hurt me!”

“And I have apologized for that. Publicly even. After, I might add, trying to do so repeatedly. I didn't mean to hurt you, or make you feel like I was some kind of phobic, hateful person.

“You on the other hand meant for the other Warblers to shut me out, didn't you? So I guess we're even. I hurt you, you hurt me.”

“See? That means we can start over!”

“No, it doesn't. That's not something I want in my life, Blaine, that balance of payback. That's not healthy, and it doesn't end. After all, what happened was I said something stupid, which I said because I was hurt and angry, and that then made you hurt and angry, which made you act in a way that made me – again – hurt and angry.

“It's a vicious circle, and not one I want or need in my life.”

“Are you saying we can't be friends again? That we couldn't be...more?”

And wow, that came out of left field. It did explain a few things though, like why Blaine had gone so far as to go to Kurt's home though.

Huh.

Blaine was asking him out? Not that long ago that would have made Kurt deliriously happy, and he would have said yes before Blaine even finished the sentence. Now however, now was...different.

When Blaine had fallen head over heels for Jeremiah he’d serenaded the older boy and talked about marriage – all based on a few coffee dates, that Jeremiah hadn’t even seemed to think of as dates.

When Blaine had dated Rachel he’d done so based on drunken kisses and duets. He’d showed up at McKinley at least twice a week, to take her out for lunch or coffee, and always took her to the movies and Breadstix during the weekends. He’d sung to her as well, both in the choir room and backed up by the Warblers out in the quad.

And Kurt? Kurt got an offer for coffee in Westerville after weeks of silence, which wasn't even presented as a possible date. Only a question if they couldn't be something more than friends – and that much only after Kurt pushed. And there hadn't been even a hint of an apology for Blaine's behavior.

“Really? That's where you're going now? You and Rachel broke up, what? A week and a half, two weeks ago? And now you want to date me?”

“Why? Why now, when you weren't the least bit interested before?”

Blaine opened his mouth, probably to protest, which, no. Not acceptable.

“Don't. Back at Dalton everyone knew I liked you. Hell, you knew I liked you – I told you. But you weren’t interested in me. And that’s okay, really. Not liking someone is your prerogative. Just as everything else you’ve done. Sure, you could have changed your mind, that happens, but why now? You didn’t see me as a potential boyfriend until I left Dalton and moved on.

“So I really have to ask why? Especially since you haven't apologized for a single thing you said and did before I left. In fact, you came here still pushing that I hurt you.

“To be brutally honest, it feels as if you’re trying to guilt me into dating you. I said some things that were hurtful and rude, but I did apologize. You don’t get to hold that over my head for the rest of my life, okay? That’s just not how things work.”

Kurt took a deep breath, trying to reign in his emotions.

“We both messed up. Sure, it’s not a competition, but that’s just the way it is.”

Wait...

The coffee shop Blaine had suggested was one Kurt had been curious to try, and he had hinted at going there several times. Blaine had never wanted to go there though, but now he'd suggested it. Maybe he'd done so to please Kurt, and a couple of months ago that would have made Kurt ecstatic. Now it just made him angry. Also very suspicious. Me thinks there's something rotten in the state of Lima...

“Wait. If you were angling for a date, why make me drive all the way to Westerville? We both live here, and I know you don't usually stay at Dalton during the weekends. So why not ask me to meet up at the Lima Bean? The cinema here is a lot better than you'd think, so why not suggest a movie? Or you could have really signaled that you intended it to be a date and made reservations for dinner at Breadstix. I know you are capable of that.

“You had so many options, and instead you want to go to a coffee shop you dissed repeatedly while we were still on speaking terms and insisted we go to the Lima Bean instead. Why?”

Quiet.

“Tell me, or leave.”

Blaine pouted a little at being questioned, but broke down quickly.

“It wouldn't be fair to Rachel to go on dates here. I just can't do that to her. You know what people are like, what they say to her. What do you think they'd say if her boyfriend went from dating her to seeing another guy?”

Kurt hated to admit it, but Blaine did have a point. He could imagine exactly what people would say much to well. Understanding that didn't mean accepting being given only crumbles though.

“So you're saying...what? That protecting Rachel from possible fallout is more important than making me feel valued? At what point would your breakup be far enough in the past for a date that doesn't mean leaving town? At what point would you stop treating me like your dirty secret?”

Kurt looked at the boy he'd thought was Prince Charming and felt empty. Even as he was asking Kurt out Blaine was putting Rachel's comfort and reputation over his. And apparently that meant he wasn’t going to openly date another boy in Lima. Or was that “openly date Kurt in Lima”? Whichever it was, it still hurt.

“You matter” his dad voice whispered in his head, yet Kurt couldn’t help but feel that he didn’t. Not to Blaine. Because if he did, then surely Blaine wouldn’t act ashamed of him?

All this, after having been strung along and rejected for over six months before finally saying enough.

The sad part, the horrible part? Blaine seemed certain it’d work. Not that Kurt didn’t see why – he had, after all, been absolutely pathetic when it came to begging for Blaine’s attention.

Kurt wasn’t sure what was most pathetic now though: the fact that a part of him still wanted to say yes, just to have a boyfriend, or that the only thing holding him back was the boy who’d bullied him, and who’d sent him running towards Blaine in the first place.

He could see himself accepting Blaine’s proposition, could see himself going out with the other boy, pitifully thankful for someone actually asking him out, and just ignoring all the reasons why he shouldn’t. Sure, he was sort of doing the same when it came to Dave, but there was a difference: Dave wasn’t angling to be his boyfriend. Also, with Dave he had an easy way out. There wouldn’t be one with Blaine – not for him.

He looked at Blaine and shook his head. This was pointless.

“Don't bother answering. I am not going to go out with you regardless. Thanks but no thanks, I guess.”

Blaine's blush increased and he started spluttering out a protest of some kind (at least that's what Kurt interpreted it as.)

“Look. I'd like you to leave now. I have, as I've said repeatedly, plans. I don't want to be late because of you.”

“Late? Are you actually meeting someone? Who?”

“Nice to know you think so low about my ability to find people to socialize with. Not that it's really any of your business, but after everything that had been happening I decided I wanted to try and meet more LGBT youth. I had no idea there were so many people I could connect with around here.”

It had been heady, finding all of these teenagers that could relate to what he had gone through growing up, and who were willing to accept him as he was. Not all of them were out, but that meant less to him these days. Besides, when the lion's part of communication and socializing happened online “out” became a completely different thing.

Of course, he wasn't actually meeting any of them now, but Blaine didn't need – or deserve – to know that he was meeting Dave.

“Really? That's great! I could go with you, it'd be great.”

Sigh. There apparently was no way getting through to Blaine that didn't include a verbal version of a 2 by 4.

“No. I have plans. You are not invited. And quite frankly, I can't imagine anyone of my new acquaintances appreciating someone else tagging along without warning. You see, I learned something really important from you. It was something I already knew, but didn't really get. So, I guess thank you for driving the lesson home.”

“And what lesson was that?” Blaine looked a little cautious, which indicated that yes, he actually had a functioning brain.

“You don't out people. Goodbye Blaine.”

And he closed the door, without slamming it – he was tempted, yes, but the way his luck was running he'd crack it or something.

Kurt waited 15 minutes before leaving, just in case Blaine was standing outside waiting to ambush him. Still, as he pulled out of the driveway he kept an eye out for Blaine's car. And there it was.

It was just so Blaine. He had been told, explicitly, that he wasn't welcome to join Kurt and whoever he was meeting – a person Kurt had hinted pretty heavily wasn't out. And Blaine had just decided none of that mattered because he wanted differently. Selfish bastard. He was going to deserve everything Kurt was planning on raining down on him.

Going to the garage was a detour, and not one Kurt really wanted to spend time on, but it was his best bet when it came to getting away.

It being a Saturday meant that Hummel Tires & Lube was running on a minimal staff, for planned jobs and emergencies only. That meant there was plenty of space for Kurt to pull into the fenced yard and park behind the garage. Next he walked through the building, waving at his dad, and peeked through the window. Yup, there he is. Blaine had parked so that he'd be able to see if Kurt left – or so he thought.

“What are you doing here, buddy? I thought you were meeting up with some of your internet friends?”

“Yeah, I am. Only it seems I picked up a stalker.”

Burt looked at him, sharp and worried.

“Mhm. Blaine – from Dalton, remember? – showed up at the house, and for some reason he thought I should agree to go out with him.”

“I thought you said he wasn't interested like that.”

“Yeah, that's what I thought too. After all, not only did I not even try to be subtle, but in the end I straight out told him. His response to that was – more or less – to start dating Rachel. I haven't really spoken to him since he called me a bully for not being supportive enough of that.

“He froze me out completely after that, even though I tried to apologize so many times, and that didn't change after I left.

“Only now he and Rachel broke up, and apparently Blaine thinks I'm still waiting around for him to notice me. I don't know why, because I'm not that much of a doormat, but he sure seems to think so.”

Burt gave him another sharp look.

“You sure about that? Because to me it looks like you were willing to put up with a lot – not just from him either – to get a boyfriend.”

Kurt blushed. He was well aware of his mistakes. Falling at Blaine's feet again was not going to be one of them though.

“Damned sure, dad. If Blaine hadn't insisted on dating Rachel first, then I probably would have agreed. But now? After being passed over not once, but twice? No thank you. Yes, I want a boyfriend. But I deserve someone who will look at me first, not as a backup once all other options have been explored.”

Because that was how Blaine made him feel. Like he was the living version of “two last people on earth”, and damnit if he didn't matter more than that.

“Okay. That's fair. I'm proud of you for sticking up for yourself. Now, what about stalking?”

“Well, when I told him that not only did I not want to go out with him but I also had plans – which I had told him when he called yesterday – he tried to invite himself along. Then he followed me here. After I told him he wasn't invited to come along, and that I had no intention of outing the person I was meeting.”

Kurt watched his dad's face turn red, and felt a bit guilty. His dad's heart attack wasn't too far back, after all. But. Needs must.

“Want me to talk to him?”

“Would you? I would be so grateful. And if you'd let me go out through the back I'd be even more so.”

Because that was why he had gone there, in the hopes of using the locked back gate few people thought about. Blaine would most likely never guess to its existence, and even if he did Kurt would be able to leave while Burt Hummel gave “the prep school stalker” a piece of his mind.

As Kurt drove off he kept thinking about Blaine's actions over the past 24 hours. It made no sense. Blaine really had treated him like the last resort. The faithful dog that would come crawling back for petting even after being kicked. And that really wasn't Kurt. Except...

He'd thought Blaine and Rachel a bad match because they both wanted to be the center of attention, something neither of them would get from the other. Kurt however had always been so happy to admire Blaine that he'd constituted a fanclub all on his own. And that, right there, held what Kurt saw as the possible explanation as to why Blaine was now looking to date him instead of one of Dalton's mythological gay or bi boys.

Kurt would have – before the shunning – been happy to make Blaine the most important thing in his life. And as he'd been shown over and over again, most people would never have looked at Kurt when Blaine was there.

Thirty minutes later, stretched out on a picknick blanket with a deliciously heavy body pressed against him Kurt smiled into kisses because Dave? Dave would never look at Blaine if Kurt was around.

Monday mornings were always a downer – coming from freedom and peace to McKinley was never fun, not even with the lessened bullying. This Monday however was in the running for most annoying of the year. In one word: Rachel.

She was laying in wait for him at his locker and started her attack as soon as he was within hearing.

“Kurt? Blaine told me he asked you out, and you turned him down? Why would you do something like that? Surely he must have misunderstood you?”

Blaine again. Kurt was beginning to wish for a time machine so he could go back and tell himself to stay as far away from Blaine as possible at all times.

“I was asking myself that same question for a bit, but if he's saying I turned him down then apparently he did get the message.”

She frowned, obviously not pleased.

“Look, Kurt, I know you have all these ideas about love at first sight and all that, but honestly? You have to be realistic. So it took Blaine some time to get to the point of asking you out – but do you really think it’s fair to punish him for that? You should give him a chance. After all, this is Lima – who else is going to–”

“What? ‘Who else is going to go out with me’, was that what you were going to say?”

And why wouldn’t she? This was Rachel Berry. Tact wasn’t one of her strengths – maybe not one of her character traits at all – and neither was empathy. This is Lima, remember? Remember what Dave said about you being his only option?

“Honestly? I know that this is Lima, and I know what that means. Hell, I was sure I’d have to wait until college to get a boyfriend, and you know what? I’m okay with that. I have more respect for myself than to go out with someone just because they ask” or at least I want to have “and I definitely have too much self-respect to go out with a guy that acts like I’m something to be hidden away and he’s only asking me because he’s out of options. You might not care about me and my happiness, Rachel, but I do.

“Yes, I turned Blaine down. Yes, I meant it. And no, I’m not regretting it.

“And frankly? It's more than a little pathetic for Blaine to have his ex try and sell him to someone new – even disregarding everything. It's also not at all attractive.”

The problem with Rachel Berry – be honest, Kurt, one of many problems – was that she was a lot more dangerous than she looked, and she didn't care about casualties as long as she got what she wanted. Well, he was not going to let one of those casualties be Finn.

“No, Quinn isn't cheating on you. I don't care what Rachel says, because unlike her I actually know what's happening. Yes, Quinn is doing something that she's not telling you about. No, that something isn't making out with her ex-boyfriend.”

“Then why isn't she being honest with me about what she's up to?”

“Because it's not her secret to tell. It's not mine either, so don't look at me like that. We all know you have a problem with keeping secrets. Not because you're a gossip, or untrustworthy, but because sometimes you forget who is and who isn't in on something. So, do you think you can trust me when I say that I know what's going on, Rachel's completely wrong, and you have nothing to worry about? Because I promise you, if Quinn was cheating on you I would tell you.

“Rachel's just stirring up shit, hoping that you'll dump Quinn and come back to her now that she and Blaine's over.”

“You promise?”

And Kurt's heart hurt as he looked at the boy that'd become his brother. Finn had believed Rachel's trash-talk because he was so used to being cheated on – and cheating himself – that he didn't know how to expect anything else.

“I promise. Now, want to help me finish up dinner?”

Crisis adverted. Hopefully.

Of course it wasn't that easy. Finn refusing to go along hadn't stopped Rachel – if anything it'd made her even more determined to dig up some kind of dirt. And in her wake had come Jacob ben Israel and his damned camera and pictures in the fucking Muckraker. He liked Sue Sylvester more than most students, and felt he owed her to a degree, but this was crossing a line he wasn't going to forgive in the first place.

Not from anyone involved.

And of course it all came to blows in Glee. Even worse? The newly recruited members were there to witness.

He'd been happy to see their numbers increase, but now he found himself wishing that Mr Schue had been as ineffectual as usual so that there hadn't been quite as large an audience to Sam's humiliation.

“No. Sam, you don't owe them an explanation. You don't owe anyone anything. Rachel's inability to keep her nose out of other people's business did this, not you or I. McKinely isn't safe for LGBT students and she knows it. She also knows that it doesn't matter if someone's actually LGBT or not, just what people believe. What Jacob ben Israel posted could have landed you in the hospital or worse, and Rachel was the one who led him there.

“Won't your dads be proud of you, Rachel, knowing what you've done?”

“I haven't done anything wrong! Quinn was the one sneaking around on Finn–”

“Shut up, Rachel. She wasn't doing anything wrong – she was being a good person. Remember what that is?”

Rachel wasn't the only one whose mouth fell open as Finn spoke. Quinn looked happy as she sent him a soft smile, and Kurt, Kurt was so damned proud of his brother.

“Finn!”

“No. Look, what I did to Sam–”

“We.”

“Fine, what we did to Sam was shitty. Yet somehow he and Quinn managed to keep some level of trust and friendship, and that's just... Awesome. And I am not enough of an asshole to get in the middle of that. I trust Quinn, and I trust Sam, and you don't get to say otherwise.

“As for Kurt, yeah, you don't get to say shit about that either. Sam's never been anything but cool with Kurt, unlike the rest of us, and I thought you of all people should know better than this.”

And wow, Finn had really worked on his “disappointed in you” look. It was quite frankly amazing. The others seemed to think so too, judging from how they reacted as Finn slowly turned to meet everyone's eyes.

“I hope I don't have to explain to anyone exactly how not at all acceptable it is to spread this shit around the school. I know I'd hate to end up in detention for fighting with a team mate, or for getting into it with a girl.” “That doesn't mean I won't” hung in the air, just as loud as if Finn had actually said it out loud.

“Mr Schue? Could we get back to what we're supposed to be doing here?”

And of course since it was Finn asking that was exactly what happened.

Kurt spent the rest of practice seething.

Rachel was waiting for him by the Nav after Glee, which meant she'd put on some really impressive speed to beat him there.

“Kurt. You have to listen to me. Finn doesn't understand how dangerous it can be, being LGBT in a town like this, but you and I, we do. You know how much danger Sam will be in if people think you are seeing him.

“There are already people whispering about you turning him gay, or worse. You remember what it was like before. Do you realize how bad this is for Sam? He could get hurt – someone could hurt him, because of this. Because of you. Do you really want that for him?”

“Of course I don't, but–”

It was like speaking to a wall, except less effective.

“I just...I think you should try and distance yourself from whatever it is that you think that the two of you have going on. You should get a boyfriend.”

And there it was. Find a boyfriend. Next she’d be pushing Blaine on him again.

Anyone else, Mercedes or Tina or Brittany or yes, even Santana, and he’d have been willing to think they were looking out for him, and Sam. But this was Rachel, and he knew her too well for that.

Maybe Rachel really did care about Sam, but, Kurt knew, for Rachel Berry it was always about her in the end. Apparently once her romantic relationship with Blaine was over they’d allowed it to morph into some strange symbiotic friendship – which Kurt felt was probably less than healthy.

Blaine wanted Kurt to go out with him, and that meant Rachel wanted it too, meaning it should happen. After all, not getting what they wanted lessened the duos’ focus on being stars, or something like that.

Also – and okay, he had no proof for that part except for experience, but that was valuable enough – if Kurt wasn’t around Sam Rachel could focus on the fact that Quinn was, could try again to drive a wedge between the blonde and Finn, hopefully leaving Finn free for the taking.

Too bad Kurt wasn’t going to cooperate then.

“Look, Rachel, even if I did find a boyfriend it wouldn’t stop me from being friends with Sam, from spending time with him. In fact, any boyfriend worth the trouble would never try to stop me from that. And it’s not like something as simple as me staying away or the truth is going to stop the gossiping jerks of McKinley. It never has before.”

They'd both been subjected to enough gossip to know that, after all.

“Also, seriously Rachel? This is only a problem because of you. You had no business sneaking around and spying, and you most definitely had no right spreading those rumors. If someone hurts Sam because of that it won’t be my fault, it’ll be yours and Jacob ben Israel's. After all, we kept a low profile for a reason. No one would know about us being friends outside of the choir room if not for you and your big mouth and your damned stalking.”

“Then you need to do something about it! We'll find a girl to go out on a couple of dates with Sam – I'm sure Mercedes would be willing. And Blaine is still interested in you, all you have to do is stop playing hard to catch. This isn't the time to let your hurt feelings run the show, Kurt, this is when you need to be better than that.”

And wow, really? Did she crack completely while I wasn't looking?

“Thanks for that suggestion, Rachel. Now would you mind moving, I would like to get out of here.”

Except he couldn't stop thinking about everything. It all went round and round in his head, until the pieces started falling together in a very ugly pattern.

Twenty minutes after leaving Rachel behind in the parking lot Kurt rang the doorbell at the Berrys.

“Kurt! I knew you'd come to your senses! I have the perfect suggestion for you to–”

“Did you do it on purpose?”

“What?”

“Did. You. Do. It. On. Purpose? Did you lead Jacob there on purpose? Did you plan this, Rachel?”

The words were coming out louder and louder, dripping with bitterness, until he was practically shouting.

Hiram Berry came running in to the hallway, took one look at his daughter backed up against a wall and the furious Kurt, and started trying to defuse the situation. Kurt wasn't having it though.

“I'm not leaving without an answer, Rachel. I also don't have a problem with airing this in front of your dad, so if you thought him being here would save you, think again.”

“What's the matter, Kurt? Whatever it is I'm sure we can fix it.”

“Right. Well, see, Mr Berry, I really doubt that. Unless of course you have a time machine hidden away somewhere.

“See, once Rachel and her boyfriend broke up – supposedly because having to keep the New Directions' setlist secret from him was just so hard – she started trying to talk my brother into dumping his girlfriend by claiming she was cheating on him. When that didn't help Rachel decided to keep stalking Quinn in the hopes to take pictures that'd make Finn leave Quinn and come running back to Rachel – or so I assume, since it's not exactly common for her to do things like this without personal gain.

“Now, maybe I would have let Rachel get away with this normally, because she didn't stand a chance of getting what she wanted, but thanks to her actions a good friend of mine is actually in danger right now.”

“I had nothing to do with those photos! And if you're so worried about Sam you should stay away from him and–” Rachel snapped her mouth shut, possibly realizing she was close to saying something that would only give Kurt more ammunition.

“You didn't take those photos, no, but there is no way Jacob ben Israel would have found Sam there without you. You already know he stalks you on a regular basis, so why would you believe he isn't now, knowing that you're single again?”

“I'm sorry, but would you mind telling me what you're talking about?”

Rachel tried to serve her version, but Kurt just talked right over her and informed Mr Berry about exactly what had happened.

“That is horrible, and we are going to come back to that later, but for now I'd like to know why you were asking if Rachel planned this.”

“Because I know her?

“No, sorry. First of all there's Finn. She went to him first, but he refused to listen to her, choosing instead to trust his girlfriend. It would be very much Rachel's style to believe that spreading the information would make Finn change his mind.

“Second, when people started asking Sam if he was involved with me in some way Rachel suggested that I could protect Sam from being called gay – and subjected to the same treatment I get – by abandoning my friend and start dating her ex-boyfriend. That I have no interest in doing so, and have in fact turned him down already, wasn't a concern for her.”

Mr Berry frowned and gave Rachel an appraising look. She soon began to blush, leading Mr Berry to frown even harder.

“I'm really disappointed in you right now, Rachel. I suggest you go to your room and think about what you've done, and we'll talk about this when your dad comes home. Kurt, would you mind answering a few more questions for me?”

It ended up being more than a few questions, but seeing as the result was Mr Berry leaving to talk with both Jacob and his parents Kurt was fine with it.

He was even more fine with it the next day when he found out the results. Jacob had lost his camera and his channel was gone. The Muckraker had been disbanded and that everyone involved had been forced to apologize to everyone they'd trashed – including Sue. And the Evans family had gotten some proper help, both with their living situation and looking for jobs. Mr and Mr Berry did not play around.

The fact that Rachel was subdued and refused to even look at Kurt was just the cherry on top.

~TBC ~

#chocoholic fics #kurtofsky #kurt hummel #dave karofsky #pov: kurt hummel #(take) these broken wings #not for the klaint of heart #not blaine or rachel friendly

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deathsteel · 3 years ago

Text

This Ain't a Scene Its a Goddamn Drag Race

~Part Two~

Castiel woke up the next morning to the sound of the show's security guys stationed in the hallways changing shifts. He tried to block out the sound of their chit-chatting by burying his face in his pillow, but ultimately failed when they burst into raucous laughter right outside his doorway. With a groan he dragged himself out of bed and towards the bathroom; might as well get a run in before the production staff descended on them so they could film the reaction shots to last night’s elimination.

There wasn’t much about being on a reality show that Castiel would call ‘glamorous’, but filming the practically scripted confessional segments after each elimination and mini-challenge was probably the most degrading thing that Castiel had ever done in his entire life. And he’d once been talked into ripping open bags of trash all over himself during a show by his drag mother. Needless to say, performance art and lying to the public at large were not his favorite activities.

He’d gotten into a huge fight with one of the producers early on about how staged some of the things on the show were and it was probably why he’d been struggling his way up from the bottom since the very first episode. But luckily Gabby was very adamant about preserving what he called “the integrity of the process” and basically ignored the producers when they tried to steer him towards favoring a certain contestant.

That didn’t mean that the host was around all the time so the execs still got their dose of drama to satiate the audience, regardless of whether the rivalries between the queens were genuine or not. In actuality, Castiel liked most of the others, even Luc and Michael at times had been funny when the cameras were off, but he wasn’t about to delude himself into thinking they were best buddies. Not even Balthazar who had quite obviously been flirting with him the night before right in front of Charlie, one of the less anal PAs, who had been assigned to watch them for the evening. And definitely not Kevin who only lived an hour away in Olympia and treated him like the drag mother he’d always wanted.

Not to say it wasn’t tempting, both Balthazar’s lasciviousness and Kevin’s overtures of friendship, but Castiel wasn’t going to be the next Willam or Latrice Royale; being a slut and a saint hadn’t gotten either of those two queens the crown. And that was what all of this was about, right?

He was plagued by these thoughts as he headed down to the hotel’s indoor gym and put a couple of miles behind him on the treadmill, staring at his own reflection in the mirrors that lined the walls because he wasn’t allowed to turn on the T.V. that was mounted in one corner of the room. Castiel honestly would’ve done it just to spite his contract if he could (because he was dying to find out about some gossip that was centered on anyone besides himself) but Hael, one of the show’s interns, was there with him; ‘keeping an eye on him’ while really tapping away at her phone.

If Hael was a man, Castiel would flirt a little, trail his fingers up the inside of a thigh and BAM! He’d have instant access to being able to call his mom or text his sister or god above, check TMZ. He just knew in his gut that Rihanna had done something since he had been locked up in this rhinestone studded prison for the last month.

But Hael was a woman and even though she eyed his biceps when Castiel was doing half-hearted pushups as part of his cooldown, the thought of whoring himself out for five minutes with an iPhone kinda made him nauseous. Or that could’ve been the mini bottles of vodka he’d been slamming back with Raphael, Kev, and Charlie last night as they’d eaten delivered pizza in Kevin’s hotel suite. Balthazar had stuck to nursing a beer, amused by their antics, but otherwise aloof in the way that Castiel thought only took away from the other man’s attractiveness.

Now that his head was pounding from both his workout and his hangover, Castiel understood why the Brit hadn’t indulged like the rest of them. That strategic, wormy, sexy bastard.

By the time Castiel had made it back to his room, he could see a room service tray being delivered to Luc’s room and another on the floor already outside of Balthazar’s, so at least the other queens were up and about. They’d probably have to leave soon to go back to the studio and Castiel resigned himself to a fast shower and a shave instead of the long, leisurely one he’d intended to jerk off in.

Whatever, he’d just do it later.

Today they’d just be shooting reaction scenes based on last night’s elimination and doing the mini-challenge which wasn’t exhausting, but they never knew what the mini-challenge was going to be so you definitely had to have your wits about you. Castiel definitely did not have much of anything about him at the moment, but he planned on phoning it in for the mini-challenge since it wasn’t likely to affect him too much if he lost whatever little advantage the win would get him.

By the time he had finished changing into a well-loved pair of dark wash jeans and a faded black polo shirt and popped his medication, Castiel was already exhausted. So when one of the PAs pounded on his door and called a ten minute warning for him to be ready or else, Castiel just sighed at the dark circles under his eyes and his messy unstyled hair before shrugging and snagging some sunglasses and a baseball cap out of his suitcase and heading out the door with his shoes untied.

Castiel rode in sullen silence with Luc again mostly because he was the last one to make it downstairs to the waiting towncars, but also because he was the only one of the queens who could stand Luc’s morning routine of picking at his fingernails and muttering obscenities under his breath.

As soon as all of the queens were herded into the studio, wardrobe descended on them like a plague of locusts; tugging at their street clothes and strapping mics around their waists until all of the queens were dressed in their ‘confessional outfits’.

When Castiel had finally gotten the official word that he had been chosen as one Drag Race’s contestants, he had been mailed a two inch thick envelope containing a contact that Castiel had signed without even reading, a list of “suggested” items that he needed to bring for the challenges, and instructions to bring at least two to three weeks of casual clothing to include one outfit that would be used for filming purposes.

At the time Castiel hadn’t known that he was going to be parted from his favorite blue cardigan for literal months, not even allowed to take it back to the hotel with him because the wardrobe crew was scared he would spill something on it that they couldn’t get out. If he had, he would have just let them film him in one of his thrift store t-shirts and cut offs. But now he had to wear his most beloved, comfy cardigan along with a grey button down and skinny jeans two to three times a week, every week, to record his thoughts about the competition’s goings-ons.

The wardrobe crew didn't ever mess with his hair and they mostly didn’t bother putting makeup on any of them unless they looked REALLY rough, but most importantly, the outfits never ever changed. Today, Castiel got some concealer for the bags under his eyes and blush for the pallor that had settled over him due to his hangover.

It took Kevin an embarrassingly long time to understand that the reason behind wearing the same outfit for every confessional was because the producers wanted to splice footage from different days together so that they could create drama by taking things out of context. Castiel had no illusions about the fact that he probably looked like an asshole to most of America right now based on some of the things he had said during confessionals. A witty asshole with a penchant for lighting-fast one liners, but a dick nonetheless.

Castiel was still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as they set up the footage for him from the last few days, everything from the main challenge to the elimination runway to the behind the scenes or “Untucked” bits where they forced watered-down cocktails into the queens’ hands and then had them be gossipy bitches or start catfights. If the producers were feeling particularly sadistic they would get one of the contestant's homophobic family members to record a heartfelt, ‘private’ message that would then be played in front of everyone.

It was voyeuristic in probably the worst possible way and Castiel had decided that he would sooner get his wig snatched off by being shady than cry off his makeup if they managed to get his estranged father to apologize for calling Castiel a ‘fucking f*ggot’ when he was ten and had caught him with purple nail polish on after having a friend over to play.

He usually just read people during the Untucked segments and so far that’s what he had been doing during the confessionals as well; the camera girls seemed to think he was funny and the producers hadn’t caught on that the Drag Race version of Holly Cummunion was a sarcastic, shady act so he’d keep it up until Gabby or someone else called him on his shit. This week though, he had been uncharacteristically honest- probably because he was tired.

He even complimented Luc’s runway outfit for Christ’s sakes so he must have been feeling extra charitable.

The only good thing about filming the confessional scenes was that nothing else was being filmed at the same time. It meant that at least three of the queens could be filmed doing confessionals all at once because it’s not like the cameras were busy filming anything else. With so few queens left they finished filming everything by lunchtime and after a quick change back to their street clothes and a stop by craft services the queens were scattered casually around the workroom by the production assistants and then left to wait until Gabby showed up.

One time the host had arrived an hour late with Starbucks and a hickey the size of a mid-sized principality on the underside of his jaw. The queens had shared amused looks before going on to do the funnest mini-challenge of the season so far; a matching game that used the butts of the Pit Crew as cards. Castiel suspected that he hadn’t been the only queen flustered by the glistening abs and generous bulges of the Pit Crew in their speedos, but for the sake of Sam and Zeke (Gabby’s two regular Pit Crew men who’d, of course, participated in the challenge as well) Castiel had tried his best not to ogle too much even though he was going through the driest, dry spell of the century.

After being allowed back into his comfy polo and jeans by wardrobe, Castiel let himself be placed at one of the workroom tables with Raphael who was filing his fingernails in the most bored way possible. Castiel kept his sunglasses hooked into the collar of his shirt just in case the studio lights made his already throbbing head any worse, but after glancing in a mirror he decided his hair was fucked no matter what he did so he discarded his ball cap on top of his makeup case and let it be free.

The production assistants were distracted by last minute adjustments so Castiel snuck a glance at Charlie, who was coaxing Kevin and Luc into sharing a mirror since they were both plucking their eyebrows, before he quickly fetched one of his styling heads; the one sporting the ratted up platinum blonde wig that Castiel had styled for the white-trash chic challenge a couple weeks before. He planned on using whatever downtime he had to finally brush the snarls out so he could use it again for something else.

“Alright guys, everyone good?” Charlie asked, doing a thumbs up around the room as she tugged the headphones that she usually wore while filming back onto her ears. “Great, Gabe should be here in five so you all know the drill. Chat, look busy, just act natural.”

Raphael let out a derisive little scoff under his breath but otherwise continued shaping his fingernails and acting like Castiel didn’t exist. But that was pretty natural so Castiel didn’t bother questioning it, instead choosing to joke loudly with Balthazar from across the room about what the upcoming challenge could possibly be.

“Maybe Gabby’s interested in checking out the tightness of our tuck,” Balthazar quipped, winking in Kevin’s direction when the younger queen started giggling.

“Oh, well bless Connie for leaving then,” Castiel replied, referring to another queen, Connie Lingus, who had bowed out of the competition due to medical issues. “That girl had the meatiest tuck I’d ever seen.”

“Well, did you ever see her dragged down?” Raphael interjected, still focused on his nails. “Gave the phrase ‘hung like a horse’ a whole new meaning, baby.”

“I think Gabby has more important things to worry about than our tucks,” Luc drawled in a bored, disinterested kinda way.

He was making conversation to get air time and all the assembled queens knew it; Castiel just barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes and that was only because there was a cameraman hovering at his elbow as he brushed out his wig.

“Hells yea she does,” Kevin piped leaning back from the mirror to smooth down both of his eyebrows with a critical gaze on his reflection. “Like check out the tightness of the Pit Crew! Can I get an ay-men!?”

All the girls let out an ay-men, some less enthusiastically than others, but it happened to coincide perfectly with the now tell-tale sign of Gabby’s impending arrival. Well, it probably wasn't a coincidence, nothing about TV ever was.

‘Ooooh, gurl!’ The hidden speakers in the workroom blared to life with the sign for Gabby’s message that would contain a hint about the upcoming elimination challenge. ‘You’ve got she-male!’

#fic writing #destiel fanfiction #spn fanfiction #rpdr au #gd drag race

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jokerownsmysoul · 5 years ago

Text

the brightest sun in the golden hour

Summary: the city is rarely invaded by such a blinding sun but when it happens sprinkle everything with magic, marking the rhythm of your day and mirroring a sun, even brighter, that has always lived right next to you.

Pairings: Arthur x Reader Content: soft, fluff

Warnings: nothing. only pure fluff

Word count: 5174

If you want for a better atmosphere I was listening to this playlist while writing.

A/N: so. I really don’t know why this piece took so long, I’ve been writing it for weeks by now and I’m not even completely proud of this. Also it’s very clear that my ability to make summaries is broken today, I hope this piece isn’t as bad as this summary lmaoo

Tag list: @arthurflecksgirl , @arthur-flecks-lovely-smile

A/N: english is not my first language so I apologize for any typos, I’m still learning.

The scorching sun warming your day had surprised all the citizens of Gotham. Gotham was famous for many things, and among them was certainly not the sun. It was the dark nights, those alleys that instilled fear and beyond which no one knew what kind of crimes took shapes to be stained with blood; it was the riots, the resignation to live an unhappy life and not be able to change the fate of an entire existence, it was the destruction in a city that sucked up anyone who moved there in search of a dream that very soon would have proved impossible to achieve in a city like this.

This morning you woke up surrounded by freshly laundered white sheets with the welcome of a sun that lit up the room through the shining curtains, like the white light of a lighthouse overlooking a midnight sea. Your face was turned toward a lightened ajar window from where filtered a dazzling light wedged between your eyelashes, blinding your eyes and forcing you to turn to the other side of the bedroom to protect your eyes as much as possible, in the hope that your eyes would find comfort in a more shaded area.

But when you turned to the other side of the bed your face was blinded by an even bigger sun; Arthur. The sun of your life, the sun of your solar system around which your entire existence and all the lives you would have lived revolved, again and again holding him by hand. Yet Arthur always shines with a different light; he’s always been the only light that could never blind your eyes causing you pain and forcing you to close them like the sunlight had just done; his was a rare kind of light that blinded you by bringing to your eyes not pain, but only relief; his light made them thirsty of its beauty and stroked them through its light beams. Arthur was the kind of light that the more you looked at it, the more you wanted to look at it and the more the desire to disappear under its mantle enveloped you entirely.

He was sleeping on the right side with his face toward you, his undressed torso was kept warm by the sheets. On his sleeping face were readable all the stories of his past and his present, converged into his relaxed expression wrinkles that into sleep seemed to have been smoothed and more bearable than when he was awake and his wrinkles rippled out and weigh him down with all the pain that Arthur had gone through and his body could never release. It was as if during sleep his pain was not visible on his face, but only in his mind.

The skin on his face enlightened by the sunlight looked like an amber and crystalline sand of a distant land, one of those surreal fairy-tale lands dotted with diamonds and so magical and unearthly that we wonder if they really exist even while looking at them. On his cheeks the sun immortalized every pore and wrinkle his skin was made of, stretched in a serene expression and amalgamated with the rest of his skin without creating more steep frustrated layers of wrinkles.

His never ending eyelashes were floating subtly as his eyelids were moving in his sleep, casting little strands of shadow upon the bags under his eyes; the sun by catching his eyelashes made them bead of white and red translucent spots that its light poured on their dark-midnight length as liquid colors that like water in a crystal glass took the shape of what containing them.

His chestnut hair was intertwined with crimson and golden reflections that stood out on his chestnut locks as if they were threads of sunshine that an otherworldly celestial spirit had sewn on his soft curls, which scattered here and there and on his pillow like the mantle of a werewolf who wants to be set free were falling on his forehead in invisible caresses.

The corner of his mouth was vaguely curled in a vague smile and the natural folds formed on his lips, deepened by the interplay of light and shadow created by the sun on his face, looked even more delicious and seemed to call you by name, inviting you to enter the charming slot formed by his slightly parted lips.

You stared at him, breathing in all his incomparable beauty brighter than any sunlight that could ever blind your face this morning. You felt the sunshine Arthur was made of absorbing your entire existence and make it shine bright, filling you as if you were a vessel and its light a liquid that filled every part of your wholeness and gushed out of it, letting your body swim into its existence as aqueous as water. You kept watching its existence inhabiting the world until your self-control shattered like glass and you could no longer resist his mouth on which shadow and light were embracing each other, making this game of color reflect on the tip of his tongue, slightly visible from his parted lips like a appetizing call.

You brought your face toward him, just a few inches since your faces were already close, but enough to quietly lay your lips on his own; you savored the taste of his sleep on his lips without even moving yours, you only wanted to enjoy the heat of his lips mixed with the one of the sunlight that had warmed them further, drinking him in. Soon after did his lips began to move instinctively awakened by yours and Arthur began to deepen the kiss without ever opening his eyes, still closed in his sleep from the night before.

The sunlight had entered between your lips in a large lumpy bubble which through a lens flare gushed out of your profiles that were delighting each other kissed by the sun. Arthur was - is - so bright that even the sun itself wanted to kneel before him with reverence, wishing to be kissed by him and share his own light and to rise at the right middle of your kiss glittered by the beauty of you both.

The sun was rising between your mouths and his lips during this kiss while the golden hour was envying you for being so close to the sun and being able to even kiss it without burning down as a mortal human being would.

In your mouths the last traces of your sleep were dissipating as you deepened the kiss and your tongues were listening and telling each other the dreams you had had during the night; a secret that no one else could have hear but the sun which was framing you beyond the window and yet it was totally forgotten by another sun more marvellous, more imposing, all encompassing and brighter; Arthur.

Waking up between the sun and a kiss had never been so fulfilling as this morning. Arthur had got up from the bed excited to see the room full of sunshine and had immediately turned toward the bedroom window to open it further, letting a wave of sun to expand within the bedroom walls and coloring it with a ripe apricot color.

He had looked out the window and had laid each hand on each of its side; his arms wide open welcomed this golden hour being born before your eyes on a day when, for once, the love that was inside your apartment matched flawlessly even outside.

The courtains slid in the air moved by a light breeze, which allowed them to create white fabric pirouettes around Arthur’s silhouette by touching his hips mildly and tickling his skin through a confusing trajectory.

You were lying on your bed watching the love of your life observing the world thinking that it must be thankful and flattered to contain a wonderful creature like Arthur since he deserved nothing less than to live in a place as ethereal as his existence.

And in fact, the curtains moving casually around him in fabric waves seemed to realize the dream of the wind to caress his form; they looked like one of those huge palm leaf fans used by Egyptians to wave fresh air over their kings in their homes, and you would have sworn that at this moment the world was waving its breeze reverently over Arthur with the same amount of worship, looking at him like a sovereign covered by the kind of beauty more natural and genuine of all kinds: the unfeigned and candid morning beauty following a long sleep.

He kept his eyes closed letting the heat of the sunlight kiss his skin like you had just done before wondering when it would happen again to wake up under such a infrequent sun. The golden hour exalted the beauty on his body which, lit up by the sun, had taken on iridescent shades alternated with black lines right where the shadows of his muscles and his protruding bones were formed, drawing shady veins on his skin.

The sun was projecting a ray of light on the room through which you could see the dust in the atmosphere floating around the figure of Arthur, caressing his body imperceptibly and cradling it in what people would call dust particles but that for you were instead life particles, which were flattering Arthur and his transcendental beauty through every element that nature held in its invisible hands.

Everything in your room, in fact, at that very moment was staring at Arthur as the only sun actually existing in the universe despite a real, bodily and physical sun was right in front of him. It cleared up in your mind revealed by the morning, when Arthur turned to you shortly after smiling with a glimmer of sun in his eyes, the realization that your eyes could never look at another sun that could blind you without bringing pain to your eyes, but relief, other than the sun that was Arthur.

You smiled at Arthur with the same intensity looking forward to the day ahead and to the prospect of enjoying a sun you’ve always longed to see in a city as gloomy as Gotham.

***

It's been hours now since you woke up but the sun was still warming the apartment with its light spread from the wide open windows, letting in the apartment the invisible smell of the sun and the air of Gotham which took you by surprise.

You were making the bed as you wondered how a filthy city full of smog and garbage like Gotham could actually smell like trees, sun and peace. Probably, you thought as you grabbed the sheet to place it over the bed, the smell coming from the window was not Gotham’s smell but the one of a very far away place, a dreamy and unrealistic place that had originated from your love, the same place from which your souls had originated and that belonged to the same corner of a street in a city buried in the mystery of a planet never known, except by your love which like a sentient spirit already knew the place it belonged to.

A slice of magnificent heaven mirrored the small world formed within the walls of your apartment and had taken the ephemeral consistency of the earthly sun that on this day seemed to shine only to simulate a sun, more powerful and worldwide, that had always been in the center of your apartment. It felt like in your apartment there was a specific solar system composed only of the two of you and a loving sun which, by the union of your bodies and souls, came out of your lives and condensed itself into the center of your home like a star that shone only for you.

When you raised the sheet energetically to lie it over the mattress it soared in the air like a wild eagle which finally had took flight after being caged for too long. You saw it rising in an enchanted pearl color mantle on which the sun made reflect its light that struck your eyes before meandering carelessly into the room for a few seconds, smearing itself in the thin air and sprinkling it like a flood river that takes the form of an embroidered weft carrying both of your scent. You watched the sheet fall on the mattress in white fabric waves that traveled along the walls of your bedroom with such a grace that reminded you of the peculiar grace Arthur always brought within him. Their uncoordinated silk dance was so bewitching that its magnetic dance revealed itself before your eyes like a slow motion movie.

You had witnessed the most domestic form of poetry when the sheet, rubbing and waving in the air moved by your arms, moved an army of dust that had spread along its entire trajectory and around the bed as had happened that same morning when the curtains moved by the morning breeze had pushed the dust along the bare forms of Arthur.

You always adored to make your bed for this very reason; because it was in the secret intimacy of these small moments where it was hidden the homely poetry of nature sneaking into the walls of an apartment inhabited only by love. You always adored it because repeated and familiar gestures such as making the bed were the embodiment of the bound you had with Arthur and they gave you the same safety that he gave you every day; they had the taste of the daily life you experienced with Arthur, of the certainty of your love that would never end because, from the beginning, you both had understood that you had always belonged to each other. In the intimate silence produced when one of you was making the bed there was the kind of magic that enters people’s lives by hiding itself on the surface among the furniture of the house, making itself identifiable but remaining secluded between their cracks so that only those who really love can notice it. And you, of course, noticed it.

Nature had crept into those walls through a sun hotter than ever, through the atmospheric dust that wanted to caress both your shapes and furniture and through the smell of clean holed up between the blankets. While you held in your hands a sheet that still bore the memory of all the times when, held in each other’s arms, you had loved one another by letting yourselves be stuffed in the embroidery of its fabric, you could hear from the open window the sound of Gotham playing like a radio left on in the background; birds chirping in the distance hidden by trees that occupied your view but you could imagine them like a daydream crouching on thin branches while watching you as shy spectators laying the sheet on the mattress, removing the folds created carelessly on it and placing the blankets along the sides of the bed in neat and automatic gestures you knew by heart.

The freshly laundered pearl color sheets had left in the air the smell of fabric softener and detergent, a scent smelled like home and you, which brought to your mind every moment spent together with the love of your life.

You wondered how the smell of a fabric softener bought in any store by millions of people could hide within itself a fragrance that, in every home and in different people's hands turns into a different scent, acquiring a memory that carries a distinctive fragrance as if it were the imprint of the family using it. It felt like it was the identity card of a house and, through its smell, you could even learn about those people inhabiting Gotham and their home.

Your scent was the one of your lives mixed together in a single fragrance, so pleasantly yet pungent, sweet yet strong that was totally enveloping you and filling your nostrils and, although Arthur was in the other room doing other chores, through the smell of your love that was not only hidden among the embroidery of the fabric but remained palpable behind everything that apartment was made of, surprisingly did you found out that actually you missed him as if you had not seen him for a lifetime and your body, missing its other half, was glimpsing it in every inch of the room, in every particle of your intrinsic smell, on your pillows neatly resting on the mattress and on the blankets now positioned on the bed flawlessly, on which you could see his features as if you had just embroidered his face on it with a wool of Arthur's colors.

You were lining up the pillows by laying them perfectly parallel to each other, just as your lives which meant to follow each other throughout your life had walked side by side until you met, when all of a sudden did you felt Arthur’s arms encircling your waist and his body pressing on your back bent toward the bed to wrap you from behind in a hug. A soft chuckle of amazement came out of your mouth by feeling his body unexpectedly on you and catching you by surprise just when you needed him the most, before his lips began to kiss your cheek and every point of your neck they could reach with the heat of who had missed you and couldn’t contain the adrenaline he had in his body to feel his skin in contact with yours.

You didn’t need words to understand that you had missed each other; you understood it by the heat with which he was peppering you with kisses, and he understood it from your arms that moving away from the pillows, now perfectly aligned and in order, they had rested instinctively on his arms still surrounding your waist as if your bodies were driven by a magnet that always brought you back to each other.

“Arthur!" Was what came out in a playful laugh from your lips when Arthur, pressing his body toward yours further as he kissed you more urgently and his starving lips sought your skin, he began to keep you both off balance by swinging your bodies that wrapped in this turbulent embrace were following by now a confused dance in which the only right steps were the loud pops of his kisses. “What you are doing?” You mumbled while with his arms he kept you from leaving. You were only amused by this exhibition of passionate love.

Your embrace soon turned into a vivacious challenge in which you couldn’t tell whether it would overcome the gravity force or the playful attitude with which Arthur was laying love on you throught all the energy he could. "I missed you." He whispered on your cheek, his voice was heated and hoarse with desire, his lips as warm as his breath brushed against your cheek in a smile while he spoke holding them over you so as not to deprive himself of your contact even for a second, before continuing to throw his body and lips on your skin feverishly, kissing you with fury and giving relief to the pleasant thirst he had for you, his lips numb with love carried the after-taste of your skin.

He gracefully turned you on yourself by slipping your waist into his arms so he could look you in the eyes. Your chests touched each other now while Arthur held you in a firm but gentle grip as he continued to sow kisses everywhere on you. On your face, on your neck, right on the soft spot behind your ears and on your collarbone with the same heat and energy as before. At every kiss of his you’d laugh and every time Arthur put even more pressure on you your bodies would lose balance, moved by the frenzy of your love that had taken over. The more pressure he put on your body to dive into everything you were and kiss you as inhumanly as possible, the more you moved away from him by teasing him and bending your back backwards. In the bedroom resonated the lovely popping noises of his boisterous kisses and your laughter when he couldn’t reach your skin so every kiss he wanted to give you remained suspended in the air. Your laughters were the only thing passing between your neighboring bodies that like an echo in the mountains were spreading throughout the apartment. Your embrace had become a confused, messy, indefinite grip as you tried to hold your feet steady on the ground and sustain the attack of kisses and cuddles that had driven Arthur to sneak into the bedroom, assaulting you with all the reverence and love his body could hold, and much more.

Until this challenge was overcome by the force of gravity and as Arthur approached you further for yet another kiss did you clumsily fell on your bed one over the other.

It had won the feverish hurricane that had enveloped both of you when a loud laugh came out of your mouths as soon as your bodies touched the mattress. You looked each other in the eye with complicity for a second before bursting out laughing with a spark of childlike innocence in your eyes, realizing that falling was inevitable, but also premeditated. Arthur’s body was laying completely on yours, his muscles were smeared on your own warming you with his heat and his weight pressed on you in a pleasant physical sensation made you more eager of him and revealed how much you wanted to feel his weight on you all your life. "We fell." You said pointing out the obvious, your laughter was smoothed in a childish giggle.

His eyes were staring at you intensely and full of adoration as if looking down at you while the sun was making your face shine brighter you looked different. Your face at that moment was to him like a landscape that changes its beauty depending on the seasons and Arthur, looking at you under the dazzling and rare sun of Gotham, wanted to remember this new beauty of yours forever. "Yeah… we fell." A grin was drew on Arthur’s lips erasing his previous laugh as the thought of what it meant crept into his mind. "You can’t elude me anymore." The swollen vein in the middle of his forehead, illuminated by the sun, looked like a streak of light beaded of sweat droplets shining like little emeralds on the hairline, his dimples deepened over you as his grin grew further and Arthur traveled your arms with his hands in smooth movements.

Once his hands reached your wrists he grabbed them delicately and dragged your arms over your head, continuing to grab your wrists steady in his hands. You couldn’t rebel from his grip and you actually didn’t mind being unable to move under him either, because a second later Arthur was peppering kisses and raspberries all over your body, making you laugh and preventing you from talking. Your body struggled underneath him with sweet tickles and soft lips, the popping noises of raspberries alternated with the smack ones of his open mouthed kisses and the sheets were unraveling through your bodies chasing each other and through your attempts to grab his lips with yours in the hope that he kissed them; it looked like Arthur wanted to kiss every part of your body except this one, increasing your cravings.

When you managed to dampen your laughter and speak the veil of a giggle was still pressed on your words. "I just made the bed!" You screamed, the bed completely wrecked had the memory of your bodies racing together in a carefree race between prey and victim; the more you tried to free yourself from his grip to kiss him and the more he didn’t want to let you go and not to kiss you, yet. Arthur chuckled, bringing his lips close to yours so that they could rub one another, but not enough to give you the relief of a kiss you were desperately begging for.

His heated breath smelling like him enveloped you and his lips slightly tickled your lips, his languorous eyes stared at you. "I'll make it up later, I just want to kiss you now." He said in an unconcerned but at the same time thoughtful tone of voice. It looked like it was impossible for Arthur to stop laughing even for a second once he'd enjoy his lost innocence. He’s so neat and yet, in front of you, everything pales into insignificance and he was more than happy to see on these sheets the marks of what he was doing to you.

He kissed the corner of your mouth with a sly and cheerful smile still on his lips, your body was melting underneath him because of these ghostly, unsatisfying touches that made you even more needy. "Besides," he continued, another kiss on the corner of your mouth, "last night you didn’t mind to unmade the bed."

You swallowed while the memory of the feeling of his naked weight pressing on your body made room in your mind, so alike to the feeling of his now dressed weight that, instead, was now pressing on your body. "You’re unfair!" You kept screaming in a laugh matching his, pretending to be annoyed; actually never as in that moment his barefaced attitude was making you fall on your knees even though you were literally lying on your bed. "I know." A proud smirk pierced his lips before continuing to sprinkle kisses and raspberries on any part of your body unveiling before his eyes. By now your body was giving itself completely to his attentions and you had stopped tinkering with your arms to escape from his grip in the attempt to finally kiss him on his lips.

A cloud moved into the sky giving the sun the chance to shine even more, spraying a ray of sunshine that from the window lit up the bedroom even further and further, just when Arthur formed a streak of kisses from your chest up to the corner of your mouth and, after having locked his eyes of a blinding green on yours, sealed the bright light entering from the window upon your lips by finally kissing you while the sun, more dazzling than ever, it was shining between both of your lips and gushing out of them looking like a lens flare just as it had happened that morning.

Your apartment was so bright it felt like it was swimming into the core of the sun, dragging you both with it. Your bodies had resumed playing with each other innocently in a incandescent yellow sea which was framing your silhouette, made even hotter than this unnatural sun enveloping the entire city as you rolled on the bed childlike not taking your hands off each other for even a second.

Your apartment had always been a second indistinct world, totally dissociated from the real world in which you lived, and every day was lit up by the sun of your love from within. Even on the more icy night, the coldest winter and the darkest, gloomy day, your apartment always contained a boiling sun that warmed up every piece of furniture on which your fingerprints were visible.

And truthfully you were both embroidered in that apartment for real. Your love filled everything like a material impossible to remove, a fabric sewn with the most powerful needle even in the hardest surfaces that in other times, with another needle, would be difficult to pierce with an object as small as this one. And in every area of the floor, in every dusty corner, in every utensil and in every room, you could smell the fragrance of two souls living in the happiest period of their lives because they finally found themselves after years spent looking for each other.

The separate world you lived in your apartment was a sun-drenched paradise, it was in this earthly paradise that two lovers were playing like two children in the enchanted innocence of two people who, despite being adults, they have never ceased to preserve within their souls the innocence and the ability to be always astonished of life, enjoying their love as if it were the first sip of water of the day: a simple but indispensable thing without which you cannot live.

By loving him, you had allowed Arthur to live the magic of a childhood that had been stolen from him and for that he had never been able to have but of which he had always kept the seed. He knew that one day it would flourish in the hands of his one and only person that, once met, they would have watered by making him understand that he still deserved to be a happy child even in his later years and allowing him to experience a childhood that no one had ever allowed him to live before he was an adult. You brought to the surface the carefree child he never could have been.

By loving you, he had given you the heart of a man who never made you ashamed for having kept the child you had been, he actually had helped you to let this inner child be your strength. He gave you the young love you always dreamed of; a love made of kisses as sweet as candies, of laughter ringing in your lips like comforting lullabies and the spontaneity of a love you knew would never end just like one of those fairy-tale books ready telling never ending stories to be read again and again, night after night, asking to be told to your parents before sleep.

The blankets were totally messy, the unmade bed had erased the perfection with which you had arranged the blankets almost obsessively until a few minutes earlier and the numerous pillows, which Arthur loved to keep tidy and composed on the headboard of the bed, were completely scattered around your figures. From the bedroom window it seemed, in fact, that your bed had never been made and still bore the marks of the previous night.

You smiled at each other with complicity between the mountain of pillows woven between your bodies and the broken sheets. Not because there was a summer sun all over the city that day, although it was a surprise to both of you and you adored it.

No. You both smiled at each other because, for once, finally, the heat of the summer sun spread on the outisde over the whole city corresponded perfectly to the solar heat on the inside that every day had always illuminated your apartment from within. It was your heavenly Eden springing into a dark and hellish city like Gotham, which seldom was illuminated by a sun as bright as the one of your loving souls.

#arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck #arthur x y/n #arthur fleck imagine #arthur fleck x you #joker x reader #joker 2019 #joker x y/n #joker imagine #joker x you #joaquin phoenix x reader #joaquin phoenix x you #joaquin phoenix x y/n #joaquin phoenix #joker #joker fan fiction #la mia scrittura #arthur fluff #joker fandom

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guardmesherlock-rowan · 4 years ago

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So Enola Holmes... is... alright.

I definitely think I set myself up for disappointment by reading the first book however. Then again it wouldn’t be the first time a movie adaptation failed to live up to my expectations, and it didn’t wander off from the novel as much as other movies have (that I still haven’t forgiven).

This will contain some spoilers, and I’m still not sure if all my mental ducks are in a row. And if anyone who has read the rest of the books can explain some of the additions to the movie please do!

Rant below.

When it came time to watch the movie I thought I would make notes while I was watching it, stayed up till it released at 2am my time, got some popcorn and prepared. Though I honestly felt like I was not prepared for a nearly 2 hour movie. The set up for her family dynamic was off from the get go. Book wise, the issue was that her mother gave birth to Enola so late in her life that to others it was a scandal like how could this woman avoid having a child for so many years between Sherlock and Enola. The way the movie presents it, it’s no different than me not knowing my youngest sibling well because I went off to college when he was 4. It’s presented in the movie as the boys got busy in their own lives and never visited, and Mycroft had put an time limit over his mother’s head that she could live there until Enola became 16. To make him look like an even bigger jerk. In the book this was presented as an unfairness that Mycroft took ownership of the home after their father died due to being a male heir, but that he was still leaving the care of it to his mother. There was no threat of possible homelessness after a while.

Adding this detail where the guys simply moved on with their lives, and removal of this potential scandal, removed the fact that Enola’s mother told the guys not to come around. Which showed her mother plotting this escape for a long while, and now just shows how if the brothers had just spent more time with their family they would’ve realized what was happening. Also making it their fault they don’t have a relationship with Enola, and not her mother’s.

In the book Enola’s mom:

Left Enola alone to teach herself.

Left Enola alone most days so she could wander (she would bond over art)

Told Enola she was fine Alone, which can be a form of gas lighting when you combine the mother’s absentee behavior to the fact that

She told the boys not to come visit, creating a wall between her children

It’s highly understandable, being the only family Enola’s known, that it would be important to find her mother. But also why it wasn’t a big leap for Enola to start living on her own with the time came.

The only connection Enola had with her brother was through the articles about his cases. Which makes the cute scene with Lestrade later in the movie where they compare knowledge of Sherlock Holmes very odd. Adorable, but odd. Though Lestrade in this also has me a little ruffled with his henchmen like behavior later when he breaks down a door on a mission for Mycroft.

Mycroft deserved better, but at least he got to act like a shady government big brother character, it was entertaining.

They made comments about how Sherlock and Enola are more gifted than him. They also made comments about he was a jerk and cruel to Enola and their mom with what he said about them staying until Enola was 16. And I have a feeling they put in the finish school scenes so she could have the blow out with Mycroft as he brought her there. Which would of course also include a space where Enola could be semi-rescued by her now love interest, and give reasoning to Mycroft later washing his hands of her, despite his adamant belief that he is responsible for her.

Of course Mycroft’s reaction, Enola’s mother’s change of focus, and the new family dynamic set up for another change in Sherlock Holmes. Now we have the middle child who was not as cruel as his brother, but was still at fault for not visiting. But he remembered some things about Enola from the time they lived together that he would bring up to show he cared. Would even be used as ammunition against her mom in their last scene together. (though it is a fair not to be distracted by the far past kind of shut down instead of an accusation that her mother didn’t care)

Instead of being on the opposition of Enola, he seemed to be on her side. Even in the last moment where he tried to trick her into coming to see him, it didn’t seem completely malicious. He appeared to be proud of her when she beat him to solving the mystery, though he had not been active on it where she had been because he was busy trying to find her. Not because she was curious and got herself involved, but because the guy was stowing away in her cabin and got her involved. It was definitely her choice to step into it, but she had already turned away once before so she would meet her train.

This love interest character is not my favorite. In the book we have a kid who had some romanticized notions of seafaring and had his mistaken beliefs squashed by reality, hard. He became determined to go home and actually talk it out with his mom how she was babying him. Now we have a guy who is about Enola’s age (16, which was 14 in the books), who is knowledgeable in wild plants, willing to be adventurous, and even a little wild with Enola. Even changing it up where his interest in being a sailor was a cover to send people in the wrong direction of the fact he would want to work with flowers.

This all leads into the new piece of the Enola story. The mystery. Instead of a child running away, attempted kidnapping and ransoming, we have one murder and one attempted murder. Which also ties into the big political part of the movie regarding voting. It is revealed that there is a domestic terroristic plot due to not everyone having the right to vote (not said outright but hinted that this about giving women the right to vote). It would be voted upon by the lords later.

~~Politics~~

Which leads to a bit that gets me a touch upset. There were a lot of ties between protests and this bomb making lab that were not said, just indicated with flyers and other signs. Enola is later confronted about how they don’t have to set off the bomb because they thought they would have to make noise to be heard -rewatching that ending scene right now to make sure I remember it-

“You have to make some noise if you want to be heard. Oh, it’s funny. I thought I was the one that was going to change the world. The reform bill, is it true what you did?”

This part got me so angry. What Enola did was save her love interest who just happened to have a seat of power in which he could vote and help sway it in their favor with his one vote. In a certain light it felt like they were saying that believing in those with the power to change will change is better than protesting. The line is not wrong, but it felt like they were putting the bombs on the same stage as protests, which they are not.

It feels like they used the political aspect to help propel a more compelling mystery, which was definitely better suited for the big screen than the earnest story in the book. However, I can’t help but feel that it was muddled and poorly done. The fact they used politics doesn’t bother me as much as how they used it. Politics is used in stories all the time. Law making, what is just, what isn’t. Driving to the grocery store and what I see there, who I see there. It affects day to day life. However, if they want to focus on the element of protesting versus voting for change there is a debate there that I have feelings on, but not in a position to debate it.

Though it was very odd that they would want to talk about politics in the time frame and not show them as much in the movie as they did in the book. Keeping politics effects on life at arms length enough to use political shouting and protests without the more compare and contrast which THEY COULD’VE done with the love interest if they felt more inclined. But while the book version of him actually seems to have learned more about the outside world, this one just came in mint woke condition and only needed saving from the murderer and some mild convincing to go back and vote because they didn’t want him to.

~~Less Politics~~

Which also brings in the humorous political and societal norm that was ignored in the movie but brought up in the book. Women’s clothing. Enola’s mother uses it as a mean to hide her essentials while running away, and Enola does the same. She also does a good many things while dressed up as a woman, not bribing men to change clothes with her as often. The clothes that Enola once had despised at the beginning of the book she would grow to appreciate, especially the corset whose ribbing protected her from death with a knife caught on it. Honestly same though, it’s funny when a piece of sturdy material you’re wearing saves your life and stops a blade (personal experience, mine was metal).

It felt like a dishonor to change that thought process, especially when Book Enola also didn’t disguise herself as a guy because she thought it would be too obvious. Where as a lady, or a nun, or a widow would make better disguises when they only see a child when they look at her and presume she doesn’t care for womanly attire.

It is probably better to go book to movie in this case. You get a different story that is more exciting for the screen. Whereas going movie to book might be disappointing without the literature equivalent of jumping from a moving train..

The book was a fun read, Enola was a strong young woman who definitely feels like she is a Holmes without having to subject herself to them.

The movie is exciting, with a fractured family feeling with some political commentary.

Each of the pieces have their own positive traits and negative traits. I can see why certain changes were made. Though I may not agree with them.

#not gms related #enola holmes #rant #long post

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