#joaquin phoenix x you
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can i please request jealousy hcs for joe from "you were never really here"? i haven't been normal about this man for a day in my life and i don't plan to start either✊😔 love your work, mwah
YESSS I rewatched n I was like “this man def fucks u over the sink when ur coming out for ur midnight piss” like hes plaguing me.
Jealousy and Joe Headcanons
(the V TAPER IN THIS PIC IM SLIDING DOWN THE WALLLLL)
He���s so silent treatment coded.
He knows the kind of attention that’s inevitable when you have a pretty girl, even worse when they’re sociable and friendly - the man cannot hold a conversation like a normal person unlike you (because he just isn’t a normal person).
It’s so hard for him to understand that you’re just nice without ulterior motives, but he isn’t confident that others have good intentions. His line of work keeps that in the back of his head. He can’t separate the cruelty of humanity with the kindness he only sees in you.
The last thing he wants is for you to see him be aggressive. He would rather bite his tongue in every instance to avoid confrontation. When he considers getting involved he just… looms.
The way your eyes gravitate to behind who you’re talking to and they meet Joe hovering over you two usually makes them greet him nervously, they can tell you two are close by the way you smile at him all tender.
He’s silent there and he’s silent at home. It’s just who he is; brewing on what he wants to say and not wanting to say it unless it’s perfectly phrased. It never is.
So he looms in the kitchen quiet, only grunting in affirmation or rejection. You notice that but remain quiet and tread carefully to brighten his mood; you really love the conversation with people in passing. They don’t mean anything just because your pals happen to be men here and there. He just can’t quit the thought that every man wants you as lewdly as he does. Every man must want you and eat you with his eyes.
Silent brushing your teeth, silent in the shower, silent crawling into bed. He turns his back to you. Brooding all boyish despite the age in his face screaming man.
You reach out, tracing the tattoo on him: a perfect circle. He tenses, breath hitching.
You coo, a breath beneath the hum of the fan and the re-run of I Love Lucy playing for white noise: “You’re the only man I love Joey baby.”
It’s 2am when he’s presses that warm kiss to your forehead and his muscles relax. He hums an apology into your hair. You don’t need to overcomplicate the way you say it. Just let him huff in that moment.
RAAAA I need to watch some more joaquin I rewatched gladiator im gonna write sum commodus but phoenix babies come hither hes back up hes so up rn
#nana writes#ywnrh#you were never really here#joaquin phoenix imagine#joaquin phoenix x reader#joaquin phoenix x you#my rotating interest in actors help
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Actors Masterlist
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-Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about who is wanted in headcanons -
Masterlist Navigation
James Dean Headcanons
River Phoenix Masterlist
Joaquin Phoenix Masterlist
Corey Haim Masterlist
#river phoenix x you#river phoenix headcanons#river phoenix x reader#river phoenix#james dean headcanons#james dean x you#james dean x reader#james dean#corey haim headcanons#corey haim x reader#corey haim#corey haim x you#joaquin phoenix headcanons#joaquin phoenix x you#joaquin phoenix x reader#joaquin phoenix
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A VICTOR, part three (final) - Commodus
𓃮 emperor commodus x fem!reader 𓃭 masterlist. part one | part two | part three (final) 𓃮 warnings: 18+ descriptions of violence and smut (fingering, pinv, slight biting kink and nipple play, possessive behaviour) 𓃭 As a longtime and loyal servant working in the underbelly of the palace, your emergence into the light catches the attention of the emperor.


It had been a long, excruciating week. You had managed to avoid Commodus in that time. Attius was still insistent that you complete your duties despite the injuries, but you had managed to do them all in the lower levels of the palace. In the few instances where you needed to get work done in areas Commodus could be, you chose to do them very late into the night.
There was not a word you could use to express the heartache you had felt at that time. It is funny that a person could be stamped so permanently onto your ribcage in such a short time of knowing them, but the emperor was a man you would never forget.
In your dreams, you could still feel the touch of his calloused hands and the warmth that only he could provide – no other form of warmth like fire or the sun could compare or compete.
The swelling in your face was gone, but you still sported a cut lip and the bruises were still prominent. Each night, you would go to Cassius to get a poultice to put on your wounds, which soothed the skin and removed some of the aching pain.
While you had been smart in dodging Commodus and staying on the lower levels of the castle, you had to fetch rosemary from the gardens and it could not wait until night. So you found yourself, in the heat of midday, picking some rosemary in a secluded area of the palace gardens.
It was calm, with a gentle breeze that kissed your skin. You held a woven basket with the handle tucked into your bent arm. With a small knife, you would cut off bundles of rosemary that looked ready to harvest and placed them in the basket. The motions were soft and serene and you found some peace with it.
Footsteps alerted you to a presence behind you. You wanted to turn, but at the sound of their voice, you knew who it was and could not afford to face them.
“You are not sick,” Commodus spoke from behind you, his tone full of contempt.
You stopped your current task but still refused to turn around. Keeping your back to him was incredibly disrespectful, but you feared what he would do if he saw the markings on your face. How quickly would he cast you aside?
“I have… recovered quickly.” You excused. Commodus scoffed from behind you and stepped closer. He was only a pace or two away from you and his close proximity had your knees weak and resolve crumbling.
“You were never sick. I am not stupid…” His tone then switched to something that sounded almost insecure, “Have I done something to incur your indifference? Why do you avoid me? Whatever it was, name it and I shall work towards absolution. Shout it at me, insult me even, I give you permission for that. So long as you speak, so long as I can hear you talk because I have learnt that nothing… nothing hurts more than the absence of you.”
His small speech could have knocked you off your feet. It sent your mind reeling. A strong urge to drop your basket and fling yourself into his arms washed over your body. How much you dearly missed the comfort of his embrace. He sounded vulnerable, not something you ever thought would come out of his mouth.
“It is not you, Caesar.” You hoped the honorific title would make him display more mercy toward you, but you failed to notice the depths of his devotion that had built up long before he invited you to his chamber so many nights ago.
“Commodus.” He corrected what you addressed him as, “You of all people do not need to call me that. What is it that burdens you so?” He questioned.
You knew there was no point in trying to keep it hidden. Your clothing thankfully covered most of the bruises, except for the one on your face. Slowly, while looking at the stone ground, you turned to face him. Your face raised and made eye contact with him, finding some solace in the green of his eyes. His look of desperation for your attention quickly morphed into simmering rage. You could see the bump in his throat move as he swallowed and his jaw set.
He took the final step to get closer to you. Commodus raised his hand and hovered it right over your bruise, eyes scanning it over and over as if it was not real.
“Who?” His voice was oddly calm. It was as if his mind had shut down, unable to fully process what he was seeing.
“I am fine and–”
“Who did this?” Commodus interrupted. He gently traced over the bruise with the tip of his fingers, mapping the way it marred your face.
“I have neglected my duties as of late. Master Attius did only what was necessary.” You tried to reason. His nostrils flared at your words.
“It was him that did this to you?” You wanted to answer, but there was a sob that threatened to claw its way through your throat. You did not wish to cry in front of him, but the stress of everything had hit you. He saw the tears that welled in your eyes and pulled you in for a hug. However, his sudden touch on your arms caused you to flinch.
Commodus looked down immediately, grabbed your wrist, and pulled up the sleeve of your dress to see the bruises that littered your forearm and disappeared under the top of the fabric. His breath became laboured.
“Nothing must go unpunished, he told me.” You bit your lip to hold the sobs back. Commodus let out a long sigh and rested his forehead against yours. The two of you stayed like that for a few moments, letting the warm breeze hit your bodies.
He eventually moved, lifting his head and planting a kiss on your hairline. His hands reached up and rubbed your shoulders gently, trying to provide comfort while also not wanting to make your pain worse.
“You are not to do any more work today. Go to my room and wait there.” He instructed you.
“Wait for what?” You asked. He did not answer you, only giving your temple one last chaste kiss before he turned around and left the garden. You could hear his harsh footfalls as he got further away and you were scared at what he was capable of.
Commodus was angry and that was dangerous. You worried about what his wrath meant for anyone in the palace. Yet, you could do nothing but stand there as he left, bracing for the coming aftermath of whatever he had planned.
You swore that you would wear down the marble flooring in Commodus’ room. For the last few hours, you had paced back and forth. Sometimes you would sit in a chair for a few moments before becoming restless again and resuming your short march. There had been no word from Commodus or anyone as to what was going on.
You surmised that was the best outcome. He had not gone on a rampage and caused chaos, which was good. It had only struck you recently that perhaps you had been terribly stupid this whole time. The way he looked at you in the gardens and his vulnerability at thinking he had done something wrong to you. There you came to understand the depths of the situation and that the feelings you held are in some capacity reciprocated.
That was why you paced so relentlessly. He harboured feelings for you, which in itself felt surreal. You were nothing and would remain nothing, but somehow that was enough to catch his attention. Had it been that festival you sang at so many years ago? Was it that moment when the fates decide to entwin both of your paths?
The door on the other side of the room opened and you stopped pacing. You stood still, hoping to see Commodus. It was hard to conceal your disappointment when another man walked through the doors. He was old and hunched over slightly, but his face appeared kind. He carried a bag with him and set it down on one of the tables.
“Excuse my brash words, but where is the emperor?” You questioned.
The old man smiled and began to take items out of his bag; vials and bandages, “The emperor has not been in the palace for hours, my lady.”
“I am not a lady,” You spoke.
“I have been instructed by the Caesar to look over his lady that awaits in this room. I am correct in assuming that is you?” He teased you slightly and you felt a little more relaxed around him. You approached the table and looked down at the healing supplies he had laid out.
“Yes, uh, that would be me.” You shrugged. You did not want to question why Commodus had referred to you as his lady but knew it was not something to take lightly. Whatever he said goes and there was no reversing those words. The more you thought of it, the more it warmed your heart.
“Well, I am Cosmo, fair lady. Might I check over your injuries?” He questioned.
You nodded with permission and he moved towards you. While he tended to your wounds, all you could think about was Commodus; where he was and what he was doing. He was not in the palace and Rome was a large city. A sinking feeling of worry and dread washed over you.
After you had been tended to, more servants came in to bring you new attire. The dress you wore was nothing you had ever come close to having. The tunica, stolla, and palla all matched with the vibrancy of orange and black. Commodus had picked it out for you and you could not help but wonder if he chose it because it was similar in colour to your favourite animal, the tiger.
When you had gotten ready, guards escorted you to a waiting carriage. Each time you tried to ask what was happening, you only got the same short response; Caesar awaits you. By now, slight fear had entered your heart. He had been gone that whole day and the last you saw of him was when he became consumed by rage. Had he hurt others? Had he hurt himself?
The large imposing figure of the Colosseum entered your vision as the carriage approached. There were not many times in your life when you had time to visit, but each memory had been ingrained in your mind. The sun was setting and cast the stone in a delicate golden light. The heat of the day waned and you became grateful for the clothing wrapped around you to shield you from the occasional cool breeze.
You do not remember there being a gladiatorial game scheduled for that day and your suspicions got worse as you were led out of the carriage and into the Colosseum. There was no shouting, no screaming, or bounds of cheer. Nothing but silence greeted you as you walked up some stairs and found yourself at the cloth-covered entrance to the emperor's viewing box.
The guards escorting you grabbed the silk curtains and pulled them away, allowing you to enter alone. The viewing box was grand, filled with seats for the senators. A large stone chair, like a throne, was placed up front in the centre. There, leaning against the stone railing, was Commodus. He had his back to you, but you could see he wore a regal outfit of black armour with silver and gold accents. A gold laurel crown rested over his touseled dark locks.
Your heartbeat picked up at the sight.
“Commodus?” You questioned. At the sound of your voice, he turned around and smiled. He raised both of his arms like one would do to welcome someone with a hug.
“Ah, you’re finally here,” He approached you and placed one hand gently over the healing bruise on your face, “How are you?” His other hand rested on your waist to pull you closer. A flush fell over your body.
“The healer says I am doing well. There are no complications.” You answered. You had no idea what to do with your arms, so you pressed the palms of your hands against the chestpiece he wore, feeling the bends and grooves of the detailed pattern and the coolness of the metal.
“And how is your mind?” His thumb swiped back and forth across your cheek.
“I am alright. It hurt for a while… everything is fine now.” You reassured him. During your week of avoiding him, you had missed his comfort dearly. While he had originally gone to you for solace, you became attached to him and learned that you wished to lean on him as well.
“Not quite, darling.” Commodus took your arm and guided you to the big throne. He sat down comfortably. While you looked around for a chair next to him, he pulled you down so you sat on his lap. The movement was abrupt but sent heat through your body.
“Nothing can go back to normal until you see justice for the crimes you have suffered,” Commodus wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you securely in his lap. The armour he wore was almost cold, but his presence provided a warmth that erased that feeling.
“Attius was well within his rights to punish me and–”
Commodus grabbed your chin and turned your head to look at him. There was a quiet rage within his eyes, though not directed at you.
“I’ll not have you speak like that, do you hear me?” He told you. You nodded which made him smile and leave a chaste kiss on your cheek, “Good. Now, I have prepared a show for you.”
“A show?” You questioned.
“More like a trial,” He motioned with his hands to a set of guards standing within the arena. They began to march towards one of the entrances and he continued to speak, “I will not have my lady wronged. Nothing must go unpunished.” That phrase clicked in your head, the one that Attius had used against you. At that moment, you understood what was happening.
The doors to one of the entrances opened and out came the person you were expecting. Your master, Attius, had his hands bound by shackles in front of him. He was led in by multiple guards, crossing the sandy terrain. You sucked in a breath when they got closer and you could get a better look at him. He was dressed in rags, but his arms and the lower half of his legs were exposed, showing the gnarly bruises that littered his skin. Splotches of blood, some aged more than others, consumed the brown cotton he wore.
What shocked you the most was the bruise on his face that was almost an exact copy of the one he gave you.
Commodus chuckled lightly to himself when Attius almost stumbled over. You now understood where he was for those hours of not being at the palace. While undeniably barbaric, something about his protective nature and thirst for vengeance on your part was, in a twisted way, attractive. When Attius got within speaking distance, Commodus tightened his hold on you as if to assure himself you would no longer get hurt.
“You have committed an egregious crime,” Commodus spoke. Your hands placed over his that rested on your stomach and began to carefully thread your fingers through his. He had gotten tense and you were doing what you could to calm him down, if only slightly.
“Caesar, please! Mercy! Show me mercy!” Attius was shoved down to his knees by the guards, kicking up some of the sand.
“Mercy from me? No, it is not me that you wronged,” Commodus turned to you, his face of indifference and hate towards Attius morphing into adoration for you, “My lady, do you grant him mercy?”
For a moment, you wanted to. You may have many weeks ago, but lately, you had come to understand that violence was often necessary; all thanks to Commodus’ guidance. You thought of everything Attius did towards your fellow servants over the years. Each indignity, each strike, each time he would show no clemency.
You wanted him to feel that fear.
“No mercy,” You answered. Commodus smiled at you and his eyes twinkled with something akin to excitement. He surged forward to capture you in a heated kiss. You matched the fervour, pushing back and feeling the softness of his lips against yours. He hummed with satisfaction, tasting the fruit you had eaten a while ago on your lips.
He pulled away and whispered, “You’re perfect,” He then turned to face Attius again, losing all sense of warmth in his gaze, “It is, with my fair judgement, deemed that the offended parties will fight until death.” Your brows furrowed at his words. He did not mean that you would fight, right?
Attius looked just as confused as you, “Caesar, surely I will not fight her?”
“Of course not,” Commodus scoffed as if the mere notion was the worst idea ever proposed, “No, you will not be fighting my lady. Moreover, my lady’s favourite animal shall fight for her.”
While Attius was still perplexed, your face dropped. You looked around the arena, suddenly aware of a looming threat. Commodus would not, would he? But then again, this kind of violence was in his nature. You understood why he picked out your outfit for that night, how the colours matched that of a tiger. The same animal he had seen you weaving into the pattern of a carpet.
Suddenly, growling could be heard, looming ever closer. With a loud thundering snap, a section of the ground was pulled back quickly. There was no time to spare as a tiger, large and snarling, lept out from the depths. A chain was linked to a collar on its neck but did little to disrupt its movements.
Your eyes were glued to the scene, stuck in a state of both stupor and intrigue. Commodus was smiling madly and he rested his chin on your shoulder. You revelled in his warmth while you watched Attius fail to fight back with nothing but a short sword.
The fight did not last long. Even if he was not beaten and frail, there was no winning against the ravenous beast. It lunged and sunk its teeth into his side. You could see the tiger's jaw clench down and elicit screams of pain from Attius’ mouth. When he fell, the tiger took it as an advantage and aimed for his throat, cutting off his wails. As the beast fed, Commodus leaned back in his throne and used a hand to turn your chin to face him.
“Do you see what I have done for you?” He began, “Take it as a vow. All those that lay a finger on you will be eaten like scraps. That was the fate of that filthy vermin that marked your arm, the fate of your master, and the fate of anyone who dares come after you now. You belong to me and me alone. Right, darling?”
You nodded, too lost in the trance of his eyes to speak. His thumb brushed your lower lip before retreating. From a small round side table, Commodus lifted a woven laurel wreath that was as green as his eyes. He placed it on you and adjusted it so it sat along the crown of your head.
“It appears you won the fight. Congratulations, my victor.” He kissed you on the cheek before gently tracing the bruise on your face. There was still an air of contempt that he held while looking at your injury, but Attius’ death gave him more satisfaction.
“Thank you, Commodus.” You said.
“We shall celebrate,” He squeezed your hips as a signal to get up and you did. He stood up after you and held out his hand, “Come,”
You placed your hand in his, warming at the familiarity of his touch. Taking one last glance at Attius’ still body, you followed Commodus out of the viewing box.
You had been eating at a table in Commodus’ chambers since the two of you arrived back at the palace. It was a private dinner, but still grand in the assembly of food laid out. The two of you ate and talked like you once did before you avoided him. It felt right to go back into that routine like all was finally right with the world.
The sun had long set and the both of you finished eating and only talked after. As the night got older, you began to unwind. Commodus stood off to the side, facing away from you as he took off his armour pieces. You occasionally glanced towards him while sipping on wine – not remembering the amount of cups you had. By the time he had gotten down to his underclothes and was unfastening his forearm braces, you decided to voice a question that had been burning you inside.
“Commodus?” He turned to give you his attention and hummed. You took another quick sip, “Why did you choose me?” He paused for a moment, as if your question did not entirely make sense.
“I’ve already told you. At the very least, part of it,” He took off his braces and placed them next to his other armour pieces. His footsteps echoed off of the marble flooring as he came back to you. Commodus rested his forearm over the top of your chair as he leaned over you.
“You sang at that festival and I felt warmth for the first time. It followed me in my dreams ever since. Admittedly, I did not know if you were still in the palace as you did not frequent above the lower levels. I should have hanged Attius for keeping you from the light.” His fingers reached out to trace your arm, moving up the length, across your shoulder, and towards the exposed collarbone.
All of a sudden, his posture went rigid. You could see the bump on his throat move up and down as he swallowed nervously. After a few tense seconds, he lowered himself to your eye level, crouching slightly. The gesture alone was incredible. Never would you have predicted an emperor would lower himself to your level, both literally and figuratively.
“I am correct in assuming these feelings are reciprocated?” He asked. You understood why he had become so nervous. While naturally ruthless, Commodus was an insecure man who looked for approval in the faces of everyone around him. Whether one could consider that a weakness or a strength was up to them. For you, none of that mattered.
It was almost comical the way you shared that same worry for a while. You too were scared that the depths of his dedication and care were shallow, but if today had taught you anything, it was that a notion like that was far from the truth.
“You are correct, Commodus.” You responded, “I deeply care for you.” Those words washed over him and you could see how he instantly relaxed. His eyelids fluttered for a moment, scanning you up and down as if to see if you were real.
He surged forward and captured your lips with his, an ecstasy of heat. You melted into the feeling and relished in the attention. His hands gripped your waist tightly and pulled you up from the chair until your lower back dug into the table. He lifted you to sit on the table, the plates and cutlery jostling with the movement. Commodus was devouring you and at that moment you realized you did not mind it at all.
His movement to pick you up and place you on the table caused you to gasp, which he used to his advantage. His tongue entered your mouth, exploring and dominant. Your breathing became laboured and your body felt fuzzy – as if all the sensations around you that were not Commodus faded into the background.
He kissed you a few more times before gently biting on your lower lip, pulling away and letting it go. You opened your eyes and saw him staring right at you. His chest was heaving slightly and he kept his forehead resting on yours; completely unwilling to be further from you in any way.
“That…” Your whispered voice trailed off. Commodus smiled at how dazed you were and was happy to see his power over you.
Glancing out the window near you, you saw just how dark it was and understood that it had to be closer to twilight. Your mood instantly died. You would need to go to bed immediately. Already you had lost out on valuable sleeping time and knew it would cause you to lack in your chores tomorrow.
“Commodus, there is nothing I would like more than to stay with you, believe me. But I need to go and rest. There are many tasks I have to get to tomorrow.”
He looked at you like you had said something incredibly bizarre, “Did you not hear what I told you in the arena? You are mine and because of that, you will do no more work. From now on, my room is yours. You are my lady, the emperor’s lady.” His hands rubbed up and down your thighs, as he pushed himself to stand between them. Even sitting on the table, you did not reach his height.
“And what will people say?” You questioned.
“They’ll say nothing if they favour their heads.” Something in the way he said those words made you more eager for him. Deciding to take charge for once, you grabbed the fabric of his tunic and pulled him towards you for a kiss. Commodus moved with you as he was eager to participate, but remained gentle to not hurt your bruises.
There was a heat that bubbled in your stomach, fueling a hunger that you had never felt before. Instinctively, your hips ground against his. Commodus reciprocated, moving the clothed area of his hardening length against your core. The kiss got more intense, a mesh of heated breath and knocking teeth. He clung to you like a last resort, like you were his last chance to arrive in the Elysium fields.
Your hands roamed everywhere, up his arms and down his chest, feeling the muscles that lay under the fabric of his tunic. The table moved with the force of each of your movements, becoming unstable. Commodus gripped your thighs, pushing them against his sides and wrapping around his waist. You let him pull your arms around his neck and he lifted you off of the table.
His strength nearly shocked you, but it was not surprising. He pulled away from the kiss long enough so he could walk up the marble steps to the raised dias that held his bed. Before you knew it, you found yourself falling onto the plush silk sheets of his bed; or more accurately what he has now framed as your shared bed. The thought sent a fluttering feeling to the already burning part of your stomach and lodged up towards your chest.
Commodus leaned down over you and rested on one forearm while he used his free hand to trace across your collarbone and neck, “You’re mine. Not the senate’s, not Rome’s, not anyone’s.”
You nodded enthusiastically, begging for more attention from him, “Yours, only yours.”
Commodus leaned down and began to assail your neck; licking, kissing, and biting every inch. You trembled under his touch and became reduced to nothing but breathless moans. His hands pulled away at the fabrics that wrapped your form, the pretty assemble being torn off you. You would have been sad about it if it were not for the fact that he could easily buy you another.
He took away each layer and left you bare under him. Commodus stopped his assault on your neck and pulled back to look at you. Despite the occasional bruise on your arms and legs and a fading one on your stomach, he reached out and gripped your hip and swiped his thumb back and forth as his gaze travelled over you.
“My Venus,” He whispered. If you were not already unwound below him, you would have melted right there.
“Commodus,” His name fell like a plea on your lips. You needed him desperately and began to tug at his clothing. He humoured you, smiling softly as he stripped down. Once he was bare, you latched onto his neck and pulled him down into a kiss. You felt the softness of his lips as your tongues explored one another. His chest brushed against yours and the skin contact made you moan. He felt just as hot as your blood, pulsing and begging under the skin.
One of his large hands trailed down your stomach and brushed over your hip bone before caressing your inner thigh. In an instant, you opened your legs – entirely ready to surrender to him. Sensing how eager you were, he chuckled against your lips.
“So impatient, my love.” His fingers moved up your inner thigh but stopped just as he got close to your core. You whimpered when he ceased his movements. “Beg, darling. Tell me how much you want me.”
“Commodus please,” You moved your hips to try and get closer to his touch but he used his other hand to hold you down. He tsked and shook his head from side to side.
“That’s not playing fair,” He scolded you. While his hands were preoccupied with holding you down, yours were free and you used that to your advantage. He may be able to bring you to heel, but you know you could do just the same.
“Fuck being fair,” It was the first time you swore in front of him and his eyes sparkled at that, “Fuck me, Commodus, please.” Your hands moved to his lower stomach, lower and lower until you were able to grasp his hard cock. His entire body shuddered and his nostrils flared. Something clicked in him, a snap and his patience was gone.
Commodus pushed up further on the bed and crawled on top of the sheets, moving right up to you. You had shuffled towards the headboard with your legs bent at the knees and together. His hands gripped your knees and spread your legs so he could slot himself between them.
“Do you want this?” His warm breath tickled your neck as he trailed his lips across the skin, just barely touching but feeling so right.
You grabbed his jaw with both of your hands and moved his head to look him in the eyes, “Would I have spread my legs for you otherwise?” His eyes darkened at that and you could feel his jaw clench.
It was then that you had an idea that may not have been the best. You had seen how possessive he was of you and the violence he was willing to give to others on your behalf. You wanted to test the waters and see how much you could rile him up.
“Are you going to stop teasing and fuck me or do I have to find someone else?” It was a fake threat. There was nobody else that could ever compare to Commodus; nobody else you would ever want to even speak to. His face fell into incredible seriousness and you let go of him, only for his hand to grip your chin. It was not strong enough to hurt but it held your attention.
“I know what you’re trying to do, darling.” He leaned down with his lips brushing the shell of your ear, “By the time I am done, you won’t even be able to think about anybody else.”
In an instant, his warm fingers brushed through your folds. You sucked in a breath at the contact. His fingers moved meticulously, discovering each stroke that made you shake under him and moan. Commodus kissed across the expanse of your neck and chest, dragging his teeth along the skin occasionally. You found it hard to keep your eyes open as you were entranced by what you felt.
Your hands moved to cart through his hair. When you tugged at the strands, Commodus groaned. It appeared he was particularly sensitive there and you made a note to remember that in the future. He retaliated by latching his lips on one of your nipples, causing your back to arch. You felt one of his fingers slip into you at the same time while his thumb circled your bud. The fire that coursed through your veins was overwhelming and your breathing became erratic. He slipped another finger into you and upped the pace, dragging in and out with the rhythm of your hips moving.
His name tumbled from your lips over and over again like you were reciting a prayer. His mouth left marks across your chest and neck, some of which you knew would not be able to cover. You had a feeling it was deliberate. In your haze of pleasure, you could feel your body pull taught. The point of no return was met.
“Com… Commodus, I–” Your voice hitched as his thumb rolled over your bud once more.
Against the heat of your skin, his voice murmured, “I know, darling. Let go.” It was as if that was the final straw you needed.
The tense string of your body snapped and you found yourself shattering. He continued his movements, helping you ride out your high. Your head lolled to the side as you shut your eyes. His fingers moved out of you and you suddenly felt sad at the loss of contact. You craved more and wished to spend the rest of your time living in this bed with Commodus.
“Open your eyes for me,” Commodus’ hands cradled your face. You slowly opened your eyes, staring right into his. His lips turned up, “There’s my girl.” He leaned in to kiss you and groaned at the feeling. Your body was still sensitive and recovering from your orgasm, but you craved more of him.
“Commodus… please.” There were no other words that needed to be said. His movements were eager, but not rushed. He shifted up so he was on his knees and grabbed his cock that was slick with precum. Slowly, almost painfully, he dragged the tip along your folds. You whimpered at the feeling and lifted your hips to feel more friction.
The haze of your previous peak was still heavy. You understood then why some people were so provocative in their transgressions. If you could stay like this with him forever you would stake your life to the ground and take that deal in a heartbeat.
You bit your lip to keep yourself from moaning too much at just the feel of his cock against your folds. He collected your slick on his skin, trailing up again until the head got caught right at your entrance. Gradually, he pushed forward until he bottomed out. You saw his eyebrows furrow and noise leave his mouth that was a mix of a sigh and a groan. He muttered a few curses.
Commodus did not rush as he was content at the pace he was going because it made you come undone and desperate for anything more. The feeling of being so full made you squirm. You wanted friction or anything to bring back the feeling of ecstasy you had. Your heart felt like it was going to pump out of your chest. Being connected like this with him was the best feeling in the world and you cursed your past self for believing it was a silly fantasy. This was real; real and raw and so good.
He slowly pulled out, dragging until the last moment to make you feel empty. You whined at the loss of his warmth but quickly shut up when he pushed back in, burying himself to the hilt. He repeated that action a few times, each getting faster until he set a steady pace. Your hips matched his movements. His face was buried in your neck with his lips brushing the shell of your ear. You could hear his moans and grunts which only spurred you on further.
You scratched the planes of his back, digging deeper with each thrust. Even when so deeply connected it did not feel like it was enough. Nothing could ever feel enough to be connected with him. Your scratching made Commodus move faster, picking up the pace.
The change of speed caused you to release your hold on him, finding little energy to lift your arms. It was like you were under a spell and completely under his influence.
“That’s it, gods, good girl,” Commodus murmured into your ear. You moaned back with small babbles of his name as your brain was unable to form a single thought other than him; his presence, his feel, him, him, him. It consumed your mind and left you a squirming mess.
He took your hands that had fallen, grabbed your wrists, and pinned them above your head. Your legs wrapped around his waist and it changed the angle at which he was thrusting into you. The tip of his cock hit a soft spot in you that had you chasing stars at the back of your eyes. The stretch that he gave you was a good ache, one that spread out from your core and burned through your body.
Commodus began to mutter words with each thrust, “Mine. My girl. My Venus.” He went on and on. Your chest rose against his, pushing for a bit more contact. You wanted to reach out and touch him, but his grip on your wrist was tight. His breath hit the shell of your ear, tickling it slightly.
The familiar feeling of your build-up hit you and Commodus could tell. He continued the steady rhythm but changed the angle to reach deeper. You nearly shouted at the difference. While he was relentless, his posture changed slightly, becoming less composed as he chased the same high you were experiencing. Both of you could feel the bed moving under you, its sturdy build taking the movement.
You were wound up again and pulled taught, but this time it felt more intense than the previous. Commodus lost his movement and fucked you with reckless abandon. All manner of control was lost and his perfect posture faltered. It seemed, like you, he had become just as mindless and broken down – doing everything possible to chase pleasure. Despite it all, you could still feel the care that he had for you in the way he muttered sweet nothings into your ear. You squeezed around his length as the build-up in your stomach started to increase.
“Let go, love. Let me hear you.” Commodus instructed.
Suddenly, like the waves that crashed against the shores of the home of your childhood, a flood of ecstasy came over you as you reached your peak and descended off of it. Your wanton moans filled the room, matching the sounds the two of you had been making for a while. Commodus visibly relished in it, nipping at your earlobe and kissing your neck. The feeling of your orgasm caused your walls to squeeze and made his movements falter.
He pulled out suddenly, right as he came. The hot strings of cum coated your lower abdomen. He moved to rest his forehead on yours, eyes closed and face scrunched in the heat of his pleasure. Your legs felt numb. Commodus almost collapsed on top of you. He released his hold on your wrists and held himself up by his forearms on either side of your head.
The two of you joined in a kiss. This one was a sharp contrast to the quick pace you had. It was slow and passionate, full of trust and care. His hands tangled in your hair, pushing it back with a gentleness unseen. Your hands rested on his broad shoulders, feeling the perspiration that gathered there. Both of your bodies came down from the high, chests rising and falling.
You thought back to just a few short weeks ago when you were invited into his room. You were incredibly glad he only wanted company then. If not for that, you would have never been able to build this relationship with him. Moreso, you were incredibly thankful your younger self decided to sing at that festival and caught his attention. It seemed that little actions in life led to big changes.
It still felt absurd now with your change of position. You were no longer a servant, no longer expected to fulfill the duties that had your body aching and mind hurting at the end of the day.
It was so ridiculous to you, that you could not help but let out a chuckle. Commodus moved his forehead from yours and opened his eyes. You wished to get lost in those eyes.
“And what do you find so amusing, hm?” He spoke.
You looked at him with adoration, “Is it wrong to be happy?”
“No,” Commodus moved to rest beside you, taking a spare cloth from the wash basin placed beside the bed and wiping your stomach down. There was something in his movements that felt almost… domestic. It was not something you ever thought of an emperor doing. “I’m glad you are happy.”
A beat of silence passed as he laid down next to you on his back and used an arm to pull you flush against him. Your head rested on his pec, hearing the thumping of his heart.
“Are you happy?” You asked. He squeezed you closer and kissed your temple.
“You made me happy long before all of this.” He answered. Your face scrunched up with wonder.
“What do you mean?” You lifted your head to look into his eyes, fingers tracing patterns onto his chest.
“Your singing. It followed me everywhere since that festival. From my mind,” He placed one hand over yours and guided it right above where his heart would be, “to here.”
There were no words you could think of to respond with. The poetics of his words hit you. You wanted to drown in him, to stay there in that moment for a lifetime. You reached out to trace his jaw, thumb massaging the top of his cheekbone. He leaned into your touch and kissed the pulse point of your wrist.
“I don’t know how I could ever thank you, for everything,” You could barely imagine what it would be like back in your old life, under the constant fear of your old master, “I may not know what I can do to repay you but–”
“Stay with me.” He interrupted you. There was a shine in his eyes, “You want to repay me? Stay. That is all I need.”
You stared at him and nodded your head, “I’ll always stay.”
The two of you understood the depths of the promise. It was your own declaration of love, without the words being spoken. A mutual understanding and a promise of forever. It was not traditional to other couples, but again you knew this relationship already did not fit within the bounds of traditionality. It did not matter.
You kissed him again, sealing the words upon both of your lips. There, you were content to start a new life; a better life.
This was incredibly fun to write! I am 100% open to writing more fics for any characters in the Gladiator films and plan to open up requests. So, if that's something ya'll are interested in, let me know.
Thank you all for the support! <3
taglist: @scrumptiousloser @juliusceasersblog @po1sonddol @cheesecakeluver @oscarisdaddy69
#emperor commodus#gladiator#commodus imagine#commodus fanfic#commodus fanfiction#joaquin phoenix#commodus x reader#commodus x you#gladiator 2000
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morning is forever

pairing: Emperor Geta / wife! reader
synopsis: sure, Geta could be soft. but only in the morning, it seemed.
warnings: none, just fluff.
Enjoy!
Geta was known for his rough and callous nature. It’s what helped build his way to becoming emperor. He had the strength and capacity to do what others could not.
You knew this well. Hell, most memories you share with the man turned out to be violent. Either toward you or some other poor citizen who abused his ill found patience.
He wasn’t loving. Caring, or soft natured of any kind. That was until the morning light flowed through the balcony, to the cascading windows laying about your personal chambers.
A Light breath would fan across your face as sleep fogged its way into your eyelids.
Geta would be at your side, a hand comfortably sat across your chest— sometimes your waist.
You would be oh so close— you could smell the scent of cinnamon and grape leaf’s waft off him almost instantly after awakening.
No scowl would adorn his face— it was always calm, with a little slit between his lips showing, letting out tuffs of air within every second.
It was easily your favorite moments, it almost felt as if things were normal.
Sometimes he would press himself to you, without knowing he seemed to enjoy the warmth you gave off. And if you tried to move away? Those pale hands would grip onto your skin, tugging you closer than ever before.
His lips would meet your neck, and you painfully wished it could be like this all the time.
The moments would never last long. They were so fleeting— leaving you yearning for more.
Geta would wake up, sluggishly rubbing the sleep from his eyes before removing his presence from the bed.
Without even looking at you he would ready himself, with the help of the servants, and exit promptly.
Sometimes it feels like you dreamed it.
Those warm moments.
However, they would always happen again.
In the morning dew that crept silently through the windows, to your clinging forms.
#gladiator x reader#geta x you#emperor geta x you#emperor geta x reader#emperor Geta#gladiator#gladiator ii#gladiator 2#joe quinn#joseph quinn x reader#joseph quinn#wife reader#pedro pascal#joaquin phoenix
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𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐒 ─── ☾ 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒
ʟɪɴᴋꜱ ↪ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ ↪ ᴊᴏᴀǫᴜɪɴ ᴘʜᴏᴇɴɪx ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ ↪ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ
ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏꜱ ↪ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2.9ᴋ ↪ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴏᴅᴜꜱ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ᴏᴄ ↪ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: ꜰᴇᴀʀ ᴏꜰ ᴅᴀʀᴋɴᴇꜱꜱ
English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistake and if you can help me improve it, I will greatly appreciate it. I hope you enjoy it :D
The soft and warm breeze coming from the deserted Roman streets caused you, as was usual in your slightly anxious and nervous person, a strange feeling of restlessness that many could assimilate due to the strange cool gusts that arose suddenly and chilled anyone who was surrounded by them, but all assumptions disappeared when you stressed to yourself that the reason for your anxiety had begun not long after the sudden death of the former emperor of Rome. Marcus Aurelius, known for being a man as strong as Hercules himself or as wise as the ancient ancestors, had been a second father to you, a man who with his extensive memory told you even the smallest details of each of his adventures in the foreigner and the various conquests that he had managed to make and be victorious around Rome to make his empire one that he had managed to take to Africa, being discovered as a technologically backward continent and very little known by those who were around his Roman kingdom, turning out to be one of the kindest men to those who really knew him, having helped the most impoverished population through various laws and in dire situations, including slaves, women, and children. That man had always taken care of you, he had made you feel protected under his attentive, loving, and proud gaze; He was the father you never had. Although you did not belong to one of the highest social classes, at least you did not belong to one of the lowest, and this, together with the fact that your mother took care of her children since the first of them was born, evidently your arrival into the world. It caused you to spend more time in the Roman palace where the emperor and his children were.
"As thoughtful as always," said a voice behind you that caught your attention, bringing you back to reality with a soft gust of fresh air that made you sigh. "Again, you find yourself thinking, even if you are in the safest place in the whole world, next to me."
That voice, which was usually distant from those who bothered him or showed irritability when directed towards less close people, was now soft and calmer than how you had heard it before. He had been angry before, your husband had been really angry, and now everything seemed more peaceful because he could see your wonderful ethereal figure next to the large balcony of your room.
“I find myself thinking about you, as usual,” you murmured, hoping to show him a little of the affection your heart held for him, slowly turning your body to turn your back to the beautiful view of the empire that loomed beneath your feet, facing the sharp and distant look of the man who had not moved from the main door of the room. "You know I always think about you. I worry about you, especially when you're awake when the moon is so high in the sky."
A soft growl, barely audible, came to you like the roar of a lion. You always liked to show your affection towards him, but you were also aware that he wasn't entirely used to receiving it from anyone other than his sister, even if he had shared his life with you since he was five years old.
Now everything was very different. Commodus was no longer the adorable boy who so often held your hand when he forced you to run with him through the palace corridors, trying to get you to keep up with him so that the guards wouldn't catch you in some absurd game that he thought that it had occurred to him and he would win for being the son of the emperor, even though that was only an excuse to be closer to you and explore that physical contact that he had heard so much about from the cooks; Commodus was no longer the charming boy who so many times tried to sweeten your ear so that you would ride a horse with him despite the various denials you gave him every time he proposed that activity that avoided being malicious, even if the only thing he wanted to feel was it was your arms around his waist. Although, despite all this, and even though Commodus had grown to become the man you know today, there was one thing that had never changed despite the years.
"I don't see the point in waiting up for me. Tomorrow you won't get out of bed until it's late and all I want is to share at least a little of my awakening with my wife's love," he scolded you, trying to be a little serious with you, even if the slight curvature of his lips denoted the opposite. "You do it every night. You wait until I come to the room, whether you long to rest in Morpheus's arms or not."
"You know that I don't like sleeping with light, and I'm aware of how much the darkness terrifies you," you told him, approaching one of the candelabras that rested peacefully on one of the pieces of furniture near your large double bed, ready to make the flames disappear that little by little were consumed. "I don't want you to feel afraid in a place where you should feel at home, much less after the great and important service you offer to Rome."
The emperor felt something strange inside him, he always did when it came to you. Your kindness and serenity, your understanding, and your sweet soul were the attributes that made you the perfect candidate to rule the great Roman empire with him, even if the latter was never to the liking of his late father; He had too many imperfections and had committed terrible acts that not even he would forgive himself if he had to judge himself, but you always seemed to see through it all to the person who was really hiding behind that same layer of grime and horror. You had met a Commodus that no one else was able to see, or perhaps no one wanted to accept that he was there. He had always been despised, you had seen that with the constant rejections of his father as he was always chosen as his last option; He had always been separated and humiliated, being the laughing stock of the guards who were supposed to protect him so much when he was pointed out as a weak man for not being able to withstand the constant beatings when he was trained to be noticed by his own father; He had always been the outcast of his own family, only knowing love through her older sister Lucila and seeing her as the mother he lacked so much during her youth. All of this meant that the only thing he knew, as far as feelings were concerned, was bitterness and loneliness, even if he had you to vent in his moments of greatest weakness.
"As my wife, you are supposed to listen to me," Commodus said in an attempt to appear authoritarian with you, even though he was aware of your stubbornness and how much you didn't like him speaking to you that way, trying to make himself look more strong and imposing in your presence. He was obviously looking for a reaction from you and got it when you raised one of your eyebrows in question. "I can be fine in the dark, I'm not a child anymore."
"Did you stop being a child three days ago? Because remember, my dear Commodus, that three nights ago you were in bed hugging me as if something bad was going to be done to you, begging me for there to be a tiny little flame in sight or a light to illuminate your part of the bed," you answered with a soft sly smile, keeping you close to the last lit lamp that provided light to the room, putting more emphasis on that fear that you had never managed to figure out how to remove; Sometimes it was exasperating not knowing how to help him at times like this. "Your well-being is one of my greatest concerns and, if you do not feel well in the only place where you should by obligation feel comfortable, then it is my duty to do everything possible to make you feel protected."
Moments like those, in which you showed your genuine concern for him, could be very common throughout the days, but he always appreciated them as if they were the first time you said those important and strong words for him.
An attempt at a smile appeared on his face. He gently lifted the cheeks of his lips, which made you feel a little more relieved to see that the tension he had carried with him all day seemed to have momentarily vanished with your short speech. You observed the way in which his tall body, muscled by the various exercises he performed throughout the week and which had apparently begun to deteriorate a little due to the obligation to continue doing other chores, let himself fall, exhausted and exhausted, to the edge of the large imperial bed that had belonged to you since he was crowned emperor, making it bounce softly at how soft it was, while the thin pillows full of feathers sank with their weight towards the defeated side, closing your eyes so that the Darkness slowly surrounded him, and it was only because his eyelids had lowered and not because the last light in his room had faded with the air coming from outside.
Small hands that he would recognize anywhere on Earth, as delicate as glass and as soft as silk, he felt as they were quickly placed on his sharp cheeks that, thinner than they had ever been, showed a slight deterioration in his physical appearance state due to stress. Your hands so loved and tender, gently cradled his face so that he would relax, causing his jaw to relax as he felt your thumbs tracing his bone and there were no longer any frown lines on his forehead frowning from him; Now everything was starting to be different at that late hour of the night.
"How do you do it?" He questioned himself, even though his words escaped from his lips and reached your ears. "How do you make him feel safe with your caresses, more than I could ever be in the company of the entire Roman troop?"
Your laughter flooded his ears in such a perfect way that he couldn't help but accompany your laughter with his own, as if it were an effect that you had on him, allowing you to attract his head towards your body, thus causing his face to be buried on your soft belly covered by a long white silk nightgown.
"I don't know, you answer that question for me."
His greenish eyes, always showing curiosity, slowly rose and drew your elegant dark and slightly moonlit figure to finally meet yours in that dark and dull room in which you were. And that's when he saw it, at that moment he was able to answer himself. Your eyes shone with love, with warmth, with a light so strong that it could guide him back to you if, at any point in his life, he felt lost wherever he went; because you were his light within his world of darkness.
#commodus#commodus x reader#commodus x you#commodus x oc#reader#you#oc#commodus imagines#joaquin phoenix imagines#gladiator 2000#gladiator
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Everything will be okay - Commodus x you
Here's some Commodus piece! right in time as Gladiator II is out. I started writing this imagine a while ago, in August which was a particularly rough time where I lost my grandpa, I needed to write about it, but it took time, time to start grieving as well. (so obviously TW death)
I dedicate this writing to my grandpa and anyone who faced or is facing the hardship of losing a loved one. Everything will be okay loves ❤️
Everything will be okay
You were taking care of flowers in the imperial garden; you had chased slaves and gardeners wanting to help you out. Your face was puffy and red, your eyes swollen and a headache splitting your skull. You were trying to keep your mind distracted, away from the brutal shock of the news, the pain filling your whole being. The blank state of your mind was soon interrupted by a rumbling of armors and quick steps, your heartbeat quickening, you knew who it was.
“Leave!” ordered the voice of Commodus, your husband, making any person leave the gardens, even his praetorians. Before you turned around his strong arms wrapped around you, squeezing you tight. You clenched your jaw, feeling your heart going wilder, your eyes turning watery, unable to say anything, you bit your trembling lower lip.
“I’m sorry Y/N.” he breathed, pain filled his voice too, as if anything that affected you, touched him too. He gently turned you around in his arms, cupping your face to meet your eyes. The moment he did, you let out a strangled sob, tears escaping your eyes. You wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him, desperately trying to suppress the pain as your tears wet his chest plate. Commodus let go of you, undoing the laces of his armor, briefly parting from you to take it off and just as quickly as you parted, his arms were around you again. This time you could feel his reassuring warmth, his quick breathing, and that is all you needed in that moment. Commodus remained silent; he knew there were no words enough to express the comfort he wanted to give you, how much he wanted your pain to go away, take it all so you could smile again.
“I planted new flowers, Damascus Roses, I…sorry for disturbing your day…” you spoke after some, time, parting from him to pick a few leaves from plants, a way to distract yourself, trying to stop crying. Your husband approached, resting his hand on the small of your back, understanding.
“They are truly beautiful; I have no doubt they shall blossom soon. And you did not disturb me, you are always my priority.” He reassured you, kissing your temple. You looked down at the leaves between your fingers, tearing them into small pieces.
“I never expected father to die so soon…he was healthy…I used to say he would live close to a hundred years old…and now…” you then spoke, silent tears streaming down your cheeks “I couldn’t even see him…talk to him…one last time…I had so much to say…so many hugs to give…” you sniffled, biting the inside of your cheek, wanting to stop crying, but you couldn’t, the pain was too immense.
“Y/N. He knows you loved him dearly; I have seen you send him the letters; you have done your best. But the gods…decided to call him to their side as he was worthy of them…please do not hurt yourself with these thoughts…” he tried, his hand keeping on rubbing your back soothingly, guiding you to a marble bench to sit. You instantly leaned against him, letting him wrap his arm around your shoulders. “I know how you feel. I had a different relationship with my father but for so long, I craved to hug him, to speak about how I felt, to tell him how much I loved him and what I would be ready to do for him…yet I never really could, only when I lost him, I let it all out and it was too late. But you my love, you have been a good daughter, I am sure that from the Underworld he smiles at you.” He soke softly, his eyes wet, sharing your pain, your distress.
“In my religion, there is no underworld, but Heaven and Hell...I hope he is in Heaven; it is similar to what you call the Elysian Fields.” You explained between sniffles “He deserves to be in peace, he was always good to us and trusted you blindly without even knowing you really.” You smiled through tears. “I wish you had met him; he would have liked you…” your voice shook again, struggling to speak those words. Commodus looked down, swallowing his saliva, his other hand reaching for yours, his fingertips playing with your wedding ring.
“It is not too late to pay my respects to him. I could…Y/N just say the word I will bring back his body to you.” He let out, taken by passion as always, unafraid of the challenges he could face. “I can bring him to you so you can embrace him one last time, bury him as your beliefs requires.”
You turned your head to him; not sure you had heard correctly. You met his eyes; he was terribly serious. He was offering you a way to grieve, to make your peace. You pinched your lips together, searching his eyes, amazed by the man you had the luck to call your husband.
“Say the word Y/N. You only need to command, and I shall be your hand.” he said again, confirming his intentions, bringing your hand to his lips and kissing it devotedly. You swallowed down, torn, in this hard moment you wished for Commodus to remain by your side, yet to bring back the one you lost eased your spirit, a final goodbye.
“Bring him back to me, my love…” you finally managed to say “Please…” you whimpered, your hand cupping his cheek briefly, sorry to make him leave. And even if his eyes showed signs of yearning, he spoke none of it and stood, placing himself in front of you before kneeling, putting his fist on his heart.
“Your word is my command.” He vowed, looking at you determined, taking your hand and kissing it with equal devotion. “I leave the Empire in your capable hands my love. I will bring back your father.” He promised, and stood, turning away, calling his scribes and guards, giving instructions as he put his armor back on, ready to ride to Gaul to get your father’s body. He instructed that a priest had the body to be embalmed or preserved until he arrived so he could process to the roman rituals for the dead to allow the soul to pass and not remain wandering in the mortal world. He instructed as well that word doesn’t come out that he left Rome, for your safety; to pretend he was sick and that in the meantime his wife assisted by his counselors would rule.
And just as fast as he had arrived by your side, Commodus had left, it would take about a week or a little more. Thankfully as Commodus had left, you inherited most of his workload, drowning yourself into letters he received, papers from the Senate and more. It distracted you, to the point you worked yourself to exhaustion, otherwise when night came you would cry yourself to sleep, it was normal after all but in those moments, you missed Commodus’ comfort more than ever.
As days passed you grew anxious, where was Commodus? Did he manage to obtain your father’s body? In which state? Would he even be able to bring him back? You stared at the sleeping city from your balcony, your tired eyes looking out for any movement, any singular event…
“Your majesty.” You were startled by a knock on your door, in the middle of the night, it was rather unexpected and even worrying. No one woke the lords in the middle of the night unless it was extremely urgent. Your pulse instantly quickened at that thought. You rushed to the door to open it, not bothering to cover yourself.
“Did something happen?” you asked, your eyes traveling between your chambermaid and the messenger, looking for any clues of bad news. The messenger bowed, averting his eyes at your light clothing.
“Forgive my presence so late in the night, highness. But I was required to reach you as soon as possible and by any means from the Emperor himself.” He apologized, your heart skipping a beat, your hands rolling into fists anxiously. “The Emperor is on his way to the palace, he should reach you before dawn. And whishes to inform you that he brings back your father with him.” He announced, slightly widening his eyes as you froze, your eyes glassy and tears starting to escape. Your chambermaid sent the messenger away, grabbing a warm shawl to cover your shoulders as you walked outside of the sleeping quarters. You couldn’t rest, you couldn’t stand still for as long as Commodus wasn’t standing in front of you.
And for what seemed like endless hours, you paced restlessly in the halls of the palace, your mind imagining the moment you would see your father, what state was he in? would you lose all sanity at the sight?
From afar you could hear the rapid footsteps of a dozen horses, so you rushed to the entrance of the inner court, ordering the doors to be opened. The group instantly entered, each carrying torches, except for one, Commodus, his horse was dragging a tiny carriage and on it…a silhouette, wrapped entirely in linens…your father.
“Y/N” you barely heard him call your name as he stopped close to you. Your eyes were fixed onto the cadaver of your father, your heart pumping into your ears, your body frozen in place, scared to approach, scared to touch the icy skin, scared to lift the veil and see his face…
“Y/N.” repeated Commodus louder, as he got off his horse, nearly collapsing on his knees in front of you, his fist on his heart, he caught your gaze to make you look at him. “I brought your father to you…I thank the gods proper care was done to preserve his body. Do not fear to lift the veil as he seems to be only sleeping.” He spoke with confidence to reassure you, it had to be done, to help you grieve properly.
“Thank you...” you murmured, your lower lip trembling as tears began to fall freely, blurring your vision almost entirely. Commodus stood up and came to stand by your side, one arm wrapping around your shoulders as he made you approach the corpse.
“I am here. Do not be afraid.” He murmured, licking his lips almost nervously as he tried to do a cross sign to accustom your beliefs and respect your father as well. Then, he approached his hands, carefully uncovering the face of your father. It was like sleeping as he described…but more pale, quieter…at least you were glad to notice his face didn’t show any traces of suffering.
“He didn’t suffer, the healers told me he was gone in his sleep.” Informed Commodus as if he had read your thoughts. He took a step back to allow you to come closer, your hands trembled and your heartbeat so fast that you felt breathless. This was real, he was really dead in front of you and yet it felt surreal, like a nightmare you would wake up from.
“Papa...” you cried out, your hand going to brush over his gray hair, soothingly caressing them. “I am so sorry…so sorry we couldn’t talk one last time…sorry I couldn’t hug you…sorry I couldn’t be there...” you sobbed, tears falling on his burial shirt.
You stayed there for an hour, maybe more, touching him gently, speaking to him; during that time, Commodus remained standing by your side, ordering a few things to his praetorians so you two were left alone in that painful moment. As your eyes had no tears left, a headache splitting your skull, you turned to your husband, throwing yourself into his arms, burying your face in his chest, his tunic absorbing the wetness of your face as he squeezed you tight, kissing the top of your head, soothing you the best he could for long minutes.
“I have ordered my praetorians to fetch a Christian priest. We will have him buried in their cemetery if you wish.” He spoke quietly. You squeezed your eyes shut, moved by his care “Thank you...” you murmured against his chest before lifting your head to look at him. Only then you noticed the bags under his eyes, the dust covering his skin and clothes, his shoulders weren’t as straight as usual, he was exhausted, probably pushing through his limits to remain standing; he had been so fast, he had surely ridden days and nights, without truly resting. That was something you had always loved with Commodus and yet it also worried you; when he had an idea in mind, he would lose sleep and hunger until he had reached his goal.
“We should go prepare for the burial, you could rest a bit, my love…” you murmured tenderly, so thankful he was there for you, so thankful you he had chosen you as his wife. You headed with your husband to your private quarters, taking hold of his hand, a comfortable silence between you.
“Bring me a warm water basin, and the necessary to wash. Also, black clothing for the emperor.” You ordered your chambermaid and removed his armor piece by piece, dust flying all around the room, the scent of sweat reaching your nose. You threw away his under-armor tunic and undergarments as well.
“Y/N you don’t have to do this…” protested Commodus, as he understood your plan. Not wanted to be a burden on your heavy spirits already.
“You brought my father back to me, all the way from Gaul to here.” You simply replied, dampening the washing cloth in the warm scented water “Besides, it distracts me. I need to think about something else for a bit, clear my mind.” You added softly, your eyes burning from too much crying every time you blinked.
“How could I face you again if I didn’t even have the time nor will to do this for you? I couldn’t bear it…then, I wanted to meet him properly.” He spoke softly as you washed his feet, soundly exhaling in relief, his muscles relaxing.
“Circumstance could have been better. But yes, he would have liked you, I think… He deeply valued ambition. He used to say I deserved a man who knew what he wanted and who wanted to reach the sky to provide me and my future children the best life.” You smiled softly as you thought of him, yes, he would have liked him. “Look at your hands my love...” you commented, referring to how callous they had gotten but especially the small cuts he had on his palms from squeezing the reins as he rode.
“Can you tell me what he was like? What kind of man? I know things of course from public knowledge but you know better.” He replied, letting you apply oil on his palms.
“He was such a clever man, a scholar from the beginning. He read much, Greek classists, some Roman ones too. He always said that you couldn’t understand the world you live in and its future without understanding the victories and defeats of the past. He was very strategic in his decisions; he had that broad vision over things…he would have been an excellent counselor to you or would have enjoyed debating with you...” you chuckled nostalgic, grabbing a dry cloth to dry his skin.
“So that is where your sharp mind comes from when talking politics hm?” you heard the smile in his voice, trying to cheer you up “Wrapped in the sweetness of your mother. Any emperor around the world would bend the knee.” He cooed as you looked up, gently cupping your face and kissing your forehead protectively. “I would have been deeply honored to discuss with him.” You closed your eyes, wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging him more, your face against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, that was so calm and steady even after that exhausting trip, it soothed you too, everything will be okay.
“Now, if you are ready, let’s accompany your father to his eternal resting place. Let us not keep the gods...your God waiting.” Commodus spoke softly, a little encouraging smile, telling you he would always be there.
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The Sinner’s Temple
Marcus Acacius x OC


A/N : This story is entirely non-canon. In the first film, Commodus wounded Maximus before stepping into the Colosseum to fight him, hoping to secure his victory. In this version, I am writing under the assumption that he succeeded. This means Commodus continues his reign with all his traumatic past and immoral personality intact. And since I really admire Joaquin Phoenix in that film, I figured—why not use him while I can?
A/N 2: I apologize for the mistakes I made in English that is not my native language and I am trying to improve my writing skills.
Summary: Commodus wanted to completely abolish the Senate, but a senator named Cassius, aware that his loyalty would ensure his survival, swore unwavering allegiance to him. However, Commodus once saw Cassius’ young daughter at a very young age and convinced himself that he could find the love his own family never gave him in her heart. He spent years waiting for the day she would grow up so he could marry her. But fate had already written a truth that would shatter all his plans.
!!Warnings!!: Non-Canon, Chronological Mistakes, +18, Fluff, Smut, MDNI, Angst, Big Age Gap (F 19 - M 50), No Y/N, Toxic Relationship, Possesive Marcus, Protective Marcus, Obsessive Commodus, Forbidden Romance, Oral Sex to woman, Fingering, Loss Virginity, Violence, If you're bothered by the fact that I don't write according to fan fiction rules, then don't read my work. Writing is just a hobby for me. I'm not a professional. I write to unwind after a long day at work.
Word Count: 13k
Dividers by @saradika-graphics

The heart of the Roman Empire, the magnificent city where golden lights shimmered through the streets, was cooling with the evening breeze as always, in breathtaking beauty. Valeria walked through the garden of her family’s villa, surrounded by grand columns. Her long, wavy, light brown hair cascaded over her shoulders, and the simple white tunic she wore highlighted her serene elegance. Yet, her mind was in turmoil; her father had spoken to her about his long conversation with Commodus. A growing unease stirred within her—tonight, she would face the presence of this powerful man at dinner, and the thought weighed heavily on her heart.
Commodus was the ruler of the Roman Empire, but he was also arrogant, self-absorbed, and intoxicated by power. When he first laid eyes on Cassius’s daughter, Valeria, he had fallen in love with her—a golden opportunity for Cassius. However, unlike her father, Valeria was indifferent to the blinding glow of power.
That night, by her father’s command, Valeria was led to the private hall prepared for her dinner with Commodus. The room, illuminated by candlelight and adorned with golden details, resembled a royal feast, while the scent of jasmine flowers drifted in from the garden outside.
Commodus slowly rose to his feet as he saw Valeria enter. His eyes carried the shadow of a long-hidden desire. He wore a deep red toga, and on his right hand was a ring crafted from gold. With all his grandeur, he smiled at her.
"Valeria," he said, his voice both strong and soft. "You are as beautiful as a queen and as fearless as a warrior. I can see the spirit of Athena within you. Only you can be the wife Rome needs."
Valeria saw the unhealthy persistence in Commodus's eyes. His words proved how deeply he had thought about her, but her heart remained unmoved.
"Honorable Commodus," Valeria said with a graceful coolness in her voice. "I am honored, but tell me, what great favor do you expect me to be grateful for?"
Commodus never believed she would dare to refuse him. He smiled and stepped closer.
"I am not here to restrict your freedom; on the contrary, I am here to elevate you. As the Empress of Rome, no one would dare touch you. You will be raised above where any mortal could ever reach."
Valeria did not avert her gaze as she stood firmly before him. "But what is the meaning of being a queen in a place where a woman cannot love freely?" she asked.
A flicker of surprise appeared on Commodus’s face.
"Freedom…" he repeated slowly. "I understand the value of your freedom. That is why I am not offering it to you. I am offering you something far greater—the power of Rome. With me, you can build a world far beyond the limits of your own freedom."
Valeria took a deep breath. To her, Commodus’s love felt like a gilded cage—beautiful and golden, yet still a cage.
"If there is no other choice but this marriage, then you leave me with no choice at all, Commodus," Valeria said. "My heart does not beat for an empire."
These bold words momentarily startled Commodus. The mask of admiration on his face briefly gave way to anger, but upon witnessing Valeria’s determination, his expression shifted back to a smirk.
"That courage of yours is precisely what I love, Valeria," he said, a dark amusement in his voice. "But never forget—only I can match your courage."
Valeria knew this encounter was not an end but a beginning. She could feel that Commodus would not give up on her easily. Yet tonight, she would make it clear to everyone that her heart and freedom were not things to be easily claimed.
The Emperor took a few steps forward, leaning against the edge of the table, and gazed into Valeria’s eyes.
"Valeria…" he said, his voice now calmer but carrying an underlying sorrow. "Do not see my love for you as a command. It is a feeling older than all the splendor of Rome. Even when you were a child, I saw something in your eyes—an innocence no one else possessed. Something that was never granted to me since the day I was born… love. And I know that love exists only within you."
Valeria stood her ground, trying not to flinch at his words. In his eyes, she saw something breaking—but also the cold-blooded calculation of a predator watching its prey. Commodus hesitated for a moment, as if realizing that even revealing his own feelings was a weakness.
"I want to have you because only with you... I feel like I can be human," he continued. "You will be my balance, Valeria. I have never loved anything as much as I love you. To reject this love will not only lead to my ruin but yours as well. Because in Rome, there is nowhere you can escape from me."
Valeria's heart tightened. Commodus’s words only further revealed the magnitude of the danger she was in. But she held her head high, her gaze still locked onto his eyes with unwavering determination.
"Emperor Commodus," she said, her voice calm yet carrying the unyielding strength of steel. "My respect for you is boundless. However, you cannot expect me to bear your feelings as a burden. My heart does not beat to fulfill your desires."
Her words lashed through Commodus like a whip. His eyes narrowed, and the slight smile on his lips faded into a cold, emotionless expression. Even the warm candlelight filling the room could not dispel the darkness surrounding him. Slowly, he straightened, his tall figure casting a shadow over Valeria.
"Valeria," he said, his voice now disturbingly soft rather than sweet. "You misunderstand me. This is not a proposal. I came here to inform you that we will be married."
Valeria took a step back—not as a sign of fear, but as a deliberate move to step out of his shadow.
"You say you want my love, Commodus. But if you ever believe you have won me, know that there will be no love in that victory. Your promises are nothing but a gilded cage to me."
With those words, Commodus lost control entirely. His fists clenched, his golden ring pressing tightly into his palm. His eyes, dark and dangerous like those of a predator, fixated on Valeria.
"You truly have no idea what you are doing," he hissed. "But you will learn, Valeria. I will give you time to think. Three days… In three days, you will give me your answer. But if that answer is 'no'..." He paused, a dreadful silence settling over the room. For a brief moment, his eyes flickered with a painful sorrow, but it quickly hardened into cold resolve. "...the price you will pay will not only fall upon you but upon everyone you love."
There was no trace of fear on Valeria's face. Instead of breaking her resolve, Commodus’s threat only strengthened it.
Commodus lingered for a moment, staring at her. Then, with a sharp turn, he left the room, his footsteps echoing against the stone floor, leaving behind only Valeria and her unwavering defiance.
At that moment, Valeria understood more than ever how dangerous Commodus could be. But she already knew what her answer would be in three days. And that answer would ignite a war that would change the fate of the Roman Empire.
Minutes later, the sound of approaching footsteps filled the air. This time, it was her family.
Her father, Cassius, entered the room with his usual authoritative stance. His sharp features were drawn with tension, and his graying hair only accentuated the severity of his furrowed brows. Behind him stood Valeria’s older brother, Fabius. The young man carried himself with confidence, his shoulders squared in a display of self-assurance. The opulent gold embroidery on his toga spoke of his ambition, but the cunning glint in his eyes unsettled Valeria more than anything.
Cassius came to a halt before Valeria, his gaze lingering on her composed yet resolute stance. For a brief moment, there was admiration in his eyes but it quickly turned to fury.
"Valeria!" he thundered, his voice so powerful it seemed to make the candle flames flicker. "What do you think you are doing? Speaking to Commodus like that endangers not only your life but all of ours!"
Valeria refused to bow to her father's anger. Without breaking eye contact with his stern face, she responded in a calm voice, "Father, I am merely fighting for my freedom. What he feels is not love, but domination. And I will not submit to such a bond."
Cassius hesitated for a moment at her words. But his sense of duty and his family's safety overpowered his conscience. "This is about more than an individual’s freedom, Valeria! This is how the order of Rome works. If the Emperor has chosen you, you must obey!"
At that moment, Fabius interjected, a mocking smile playing on his lips. He turned to Valeria, his gaze sweeping over her poised stance with thinly veiled disdain.
"Oh, of course, Valeria," he said in a taunting tone. "Our beloved little sister, always the shining star. But tell me, is this bravery, or sheer foolishness? Your so-called 'honor' may very well lead to our downfall."
Valeria did not respond to Fabius's words.
"Father, perhaps Valeria needs some time alone to truly understand the realities of Rome," he said, turning to Cassius. "Maybe she should realize how exhausted we all are from constantly protecting her."
Cassius gave a nod of approval at Fabius’s suggestion, but Valeria’s stance remained unshaken.
"Fabius, there’s something you don’t understand," she said. "If your power comes from the downfall of others, then that power is nothing but a hollow shadow."
Her father voiced his disappointment once more.
"When the Emperor asks you again, you must be rational," he said, his voice softer this time but still carrying an air of authority.
As Cassius and Fabius left the room, Valeria was left alone. But solitude was not a weakness for her... it was a silence in which she found herself. That night, she lifted her head toward the sky, gazing at the shining stars above Rome. Under these very stars, she would make her choice: to surrender or to fight for her freedom.
And this choice would be the first step in a rebellion that would go down in history.
The grand arena of Rome was filled with a crowd buzzing with excitement. The sky was a clear blue, and the sun bathed the arena in golden light. The gladiator games, held by the command of Emperor Commodus, were a celebration of a victorious military campaign. In the stands, from the lower classes to senators, everyone greeted the gladiators with the same fervor. Yet, the Emperor’s private box stood apart in its unmatched splendor.
Emperor Commodus sat at the very center of the box, reclining on a throne adorned with golden embroidery. His attire was as magnificent as that of Rome’s gods; the deep purple cloak draped over his shoulders was a symbol of his unquestionable authority. Seated beside him was his sister, and behind him, to his left, sat Valeria, the daughter of his close friend, Senator Cassius. The young woman carried herself with noble grace, yet her gaze held both sharp intensity and a deep melancholy.
Valeria was dressed in a red *stola*, its delicate fabric rippling elegantly with her every movement. The golden leaf motifs on her belt reflected the wealth and nobility of Rome. Her dark chestnut hair cascaded over her shoulders, styled with a golden crown adorned with leaf patterns, glistening under the sunlight like a divine emblem.
Despite Commodus’s suggestive words and the frequent glances he cast in her direction, Valeria kept her eyes fixed on the brutal battles unfolding in the arena. Yet, her indifference only seemed to intrigue Commodus further.
"What do you think, Valeria?" Commodus asked, a sly smile playing on his lips. "Do the passion of these gladiators not reflect the greatness of Rome? Just like us..."
Valeria turned her head slightly toward him, a polite yet icy smile appearing on her lips. "Yes, Your Majesty. The gladiators do indeed reflect the grandeur of Rome," she replied, her voice carrying a hint of irony. "But only for a fleeting moment. One moment they live, the next they die."
Commodus narrowed his eyes as if he had deciphered the deeper meaning behind her words.
Just as Valeria was about to shift her gaze back to the gladiators, a new figure emerged at the entrance of the stands at Commodus’s command: General Marcus Acacius.
As Marcus entered the Colosseum, he took a brief moment to survey his surroundings. He was no stranger to the chaotic energy of the gladiator arena, yet this place always stirred conflicting emotions within him. It was meant to symbolize war and honor, but at times, it served as a stark reminder of the darkest facets of human nature.
At Commodus’s signal, Marcus proceeded toward the imperial box. His gleaming armor was adorned with golden accents, yet it bore a simplicity that made it clear he had no interest in mere ostentation. His face, hardened by years on the battlefield, was defined by sharp lines, but in his eyes, there remained a flicker of compassion.
Upon reaching the box, Commodus rose to greet him.
"Ah, General Acacius! The sword and honor of Rome! We are most pleased to have you among us," he declared.
Marcus saluted formally. "Your Majesty," he replied. Yet, the moment he lowered his salute, his eyes fell upon Valeria. Seeing her up close for the first time, he found himself unexpectedly captivated.
Valeria was unlike the other daughters of the Senate members. While they carried a facade of elegance, she possessed an inner strength and depth that set her apart.
Commodus noticed this exchange of glances, and a cunning smile crossed his face.
"Ah, I see you have not been introduced," he said smoothly. "General Acacius, this is Valeria, daughter of Senator Cassius. Valeria, this is General Acacius—one of Rome’s most valiant commanders."
Valeria, though she recognized the nuances in Commodus's introduction, responded with graceful poise, inclining her head in a courteous greeting. "General Acacius," she said. "I know of you from your victories on Rome’s battlefields."
Marcus offered a slight smile. "Lady Valeria," he replied, his voice carrying a deep, commanding presence. "You are known for both your grace and intellect. Now I see that such words were never an exaggeration."
Yet, as Marcus watched Valeria, he felt a growing unease. Knowing of Commodus’s obsession with her made it nearly impossible for him to acknowledge the pull he felt toward this young woman.
Valeria, too, sensed the weight Marcus carried as she met his gaze. This man was not just a general; he was a soul burdened with the weight of Rome and a sorrow that came from the battlefield.
In that moment, in the emperor’s private box, two fates intertwined for the first time. But this meeting did more than link their destinies—it ignited a spark that would change the course of Rome itself.
As the sun reached its peak, the Roman arena grew even more alive. The crowd roared with excitement, their cheers echoing against the stone walls. The scent of blood lingered in the air, mixing with the dust that rose from the sandy ground. Seated on his throne, Emperor Commodus let his gaze drift across the gladiators below, reveling in the spectacle.
Beside him, Marcus Acacius watched with growing discomfort. Despite the many battles he had fought, there was something ruthless in these games that unsettled him.
In the arena, two gladiators faced off. On one side stood a towering Thracian, gripping two short swords with jagged edges resembling shards of bone. Opposite him, a lean yet agile Nubian gladiator twirled his spear with remarkable precision. Both were drenched in sweat and fatigue.
The Thracian lunged forward with a sudden, powerful strike, but the Nubian dodged by rolling backward, evading the attack just in time. The crowd erupted in frenzied shouts. Each step, each clash sent up bursts of dust, making the combat all the more dramatic.
Valeria remained silent throughout the fight. Her eyes carefully followed every movement in the arena—not with admiration like the crowd or Commodus, but with calculation. She studied the gladiators' tactics, analyzing the logic behind every step and maneuver.
Noticing a slight misstep in the slave’s defensive stance, she murmured under her breath, almost unconsciously.
"If he had shifted his foot just a little to the side, he could have deflected the attack."
Marcus Acacius heard her words. He glanced at Valeria from the corner of his eye, unable to hide his surprise. He had never seen a woman observe gladiator fights with such focus—most attended merely for entertainment or to display their social status. But Valeria watched the arena as if it were a battlefield.
"Watch the Nubian," she said this time. Her voice carried a certainty that cut through the chaos of the arena and reached him directly. "He is more agile, but he hesitates too much. If he gets cornered, the Thracian's strength will overpower him."
Another observation.
"The strike is coming from too wide an angle. If he could move faster, he could throw the Thracian off balance."
Marcus could no longer resist. He turned to Valeria. "Lady Valeria," he said, his voice laced with curiosity. "Your knowledge of gladiator combat techniques is remarkable. What has given you such insight?"
Valeria paused for a moment. When her eyes met Marcus’s, she lowered them slightly, a faint smile playing on her lips.
"Oh, General," she replied with a hint of playful irony. "I am merely intrigued by the aesthetics of movement. This is all just a matter of entertainment, is it not?"
Marcus noticed her sudden shift in demeanor. The way she dismissed the subject so quickly made him suspect she was hiding something. But why? Why would the daughter of a senator possess such a keen understanding of gladiatorial combat and battle strategy?
She was not merely a decorative figure of the imperial elite. The way she studied the arena was far from that of a casual spectator. Valeria could analyze the logic behind every movement, recognize tactical mistakes. This realization left Marcus with even more questions.
The fight had ended, and the golden sands of the Colosseum were now stained with blood. As the crowd cheered for the victorious gladiators, Commodus rose from his seat. His eyes fixed on Valeria, and with a warm smile, he approached her.
Valeria felt uneasy under the intensity of the emperor’s gaze.
"Wasn't that fight spectacular, my dear Valeria?" Commodus’s voice carried both warmth and an unmistakable air of dominance.
Valeria responded with a delicate smile. "Of course, Your Majesty. Your gladiators delivered a truly magnificent performance."
Marcus could sense Valeria's discomfort under Commodus’s watchful eyes.
"Lady Valeria," Commodus said, stepping closer. "You will be the guest of honor at our banquet tonight. Isn't that right, Marcus? I'm sure General Acacius agrees with me."
Marcus hesitated for a brief moment but then nodded politely. "Your Majesty, of course."
Valeria wanted to escape this situation quickly. With a slight curtsy, she said, "Your Majesty, if you would permit me, I would like to join my friends."
Commodus nodded, granting her leave, but his eyes held an expression that suggested he had no intention of letting her go so easily.
As Valeria's delicate curtsy and swift steps carried her away, she left behind only Commodus and Marcus Acacius in the imperial box.
"General," Commodus said, his voice both relaxed and bearing the authority of a ruler. "Look at this arena. Rome’s power is forged within these stone walls. But this alone is not enough. We must expand our borders further—beyond the Alps, and then to the riches of the East… Tell me, Marcus, do you think my dream will come true one day?"
Marcus pretended to ponder the emperor's question, though the answer was already clear in his mind—he merely had to force himself to speak it. "Your Majesty, under your will, Rome’s borders can stretch beyond imagination. However..."
His voice drifted slightly as his gaze followed the corridor where Valeria had disappeared moments ago.
Commodus noticed this lapse in attention. He placed his wine goblet on the table, his eyes sharpening as he studied Marcus. "However what, Marcus?" he asked, his tone now more pointed, more inquisitive.
Marcus straightened himself and took a step forward. "However, Your Majesty, a vision of such magnitude requires both military strength and internal stability. While we battle our enemies abroad, maintaining balance within Rome is just as crucial."
Commodus seemed pleased with this response. Yet Marcus's thoughts were still elsewhere—on Valeria. Her voice, the subtle smile on her lips, the mystery in her eyes...
As soon as his conversation with Commodus ended, Marcus left the arena in search of Valeria. His footsteps echoed through the corridors, his mind fixated on the enigma she presented. Though Commodus favored her, she visibly tried to keep her distance from him, a fact that intrigued Marcus more with each passing moment.
While passing through a side passage that led to the Colosseum’s garden, a faint growl followed by a soft laugh made him pause. Turning his head towards the source of the sound, he spotted Valeria in a secluded space.
But she was not alone.
Beside her lay a wolf majestic and imposing, its massive paws resting against the earth. Its fur was as dark as the night, yet it shimmered with a silvery sheen. Valeria was stroking the beast’s head, speaking to it in a calm, soothing manner.
For a moment, Marcus could hardly believe his eyes. This was not a sight one encountered in Rome.
He approached cautiously. "Lady Valeria," he called out, his voice tinged with both astonishment and admiration.
Valeria turned to face him. The wolf, sensing the general’s presence, tensed, ready to revert to its wild nature but Valeria calmed it with a gentle touch.
"General Acacius," she said. "You managed to find me."
Marcus kept a careful distance from the beast as he stepped closer. "A senator’s daughter and a wolf," he remarked with a slight tilt of his head. "Not a sight one often encounters. Where did you find this animal?"
Valeria smiled faintly, running her fingers through the wolf’s thick fur. "This wolf belonged to General Maximus," she said, her voice suddenly carrying a solemn weight. Her eyes seemed to drift toward a distant memory. "When he died, the emperor’s sister, Lucilla, gifted him to me. I believed he carried a piece of Maximus’s spirit… and it was a great gesture on her part."
Marcus stared at her in quiet surprise. The name of Maximus was legendary in Rome.
"General Maximus…" he murmured. "I did not know you had a connection to him."
Valeria’s gaze remained on the wolf’s piercing eyes. "I wish I had known a man like him," she said. Her voice held both admiration and longing. "I have devoted myself to understanding his vision. His courage, loyalty, honor… Everything Rome needs was in his heart. But, unfortunately, life is rarely just."
Marcus found himself captivated by the depth of her words. "Maximus was truly an extraordinary man," he said. "But listening to you, I feel as though you have done much to honor his legacy."
Valeria gave a small, enigmatic smile in response, but there was a secret hidden in her eyes.
"To honor something, one must first know how to protect oneself, General," she said. Then, as if wanting to change the subject, she added with a teasing tone, "And what about you? Are you afraid of wolves?"
Marcus noticed this sudden change but chose not to dwell on it. With a slight smile, he said, "As a soldier, we cannot allow fear to take hold of us. But to be honest, the presence of such a wild animal does surprise me."
Valeria laughed. "A fair observation," she said. "But don’t worry, he is loyal only to me. He won’t bite you."
Marcus was even more impressed by this revelation. The fact that a woman had tamed such a wild beast spoke volumes about her strength and uniqueness. "You intrigue me more with each passing moment, Lady Valeria," he said, his eyes fixed on hers.
Valeria did not respond immediately. Just as she was about to speak, their silence was interrupted by the voice of the emperor’s sister, Lucilla.
"Valeria! Marcus!" she called, approaching them gracefully. "His Majesty wishes to see you at the banquet."
Valeria stroked the wolf’s head one last time before rising to her feet. "Of course, Lucilla," she said with an elegant smile.
Marcus, meanwhile, found himself looking into Valeria’s eyes, struggling to suppress his desire to speak with her more.
The splendor and power of Rome were on full display at the grand imperial banquet. Gold-gilded columns, statues of gods adorning the walls, cushions draped in the rarest and most exquisite fabrics, and grand dining tables filled the hall. Throughout the night, the city’s elite mingled among dancing slaves and wine-drinking nobles. Before the lavish couches, golden goblets brimmed with the finest wines, and the tables overflowed with exotic delicacies—roasted quail, honey-glazed pork, plates adorned with dried figs and pomegranates. Musicians transformed the feast into a spectacle, playing to entertain the guests. The melodies of lyres and flutes filled the air with a delicate melancholy. Whispered conversations, the clinking of wine cups, and the savoring of carefully prepared meals blended into the atmosphere.
Valeria, dressed in a crimson gown, sat at the table’s forefront. The women around her observed the unfolding events with a mix of grace and quiet ambition. However, their gazes often drifted elsewhere...frequently settling on General Marcus Acacius.
A wealthy noblewoman, Livia, praised Marcus for both his stature and his esteemed rank. "It is truly a blessing for Rome to have such a handsome general," she said, her eyes gleaming. "Not only a brave leader but also a bold man. A true hero."
Valeria elegantly held her wine cup, casting a glance at the women. Though she noticed their predatory expressions, she maintained her composed demeanor. However, a subtle unrest stirred within her.
Seated beside her, Antonia had been observing Marcus’s lingering glances toward Valeria all evening. With a playful smirk, she interjected, "But I have noticed something," she said, casting a knowing look at Valeria. "General Acacius keeps watching you. His gazes are far too meaningful… Surely, you’ve noticed?"
The other women exchanged glances, nodding in silent agreement. Livia’s smile momentarily tightened. "Of course, if Commodus were to notice this, the consequences would be quite clear," she said, keeping her eyes fixed on Valeria.
Valeria calmly set her goblet down. Her gaze flickered toward Marcus, who had momentarily looked away from her but soon lifted his head once more, his eyes meeting hers. She offered a faint smile and lowered her head slightly before replying, "I believe you are overthinking things," she said. "General Acacius does not look at me that way. I am certain that no one occupies his thoughts outside of Rome’s wars and victories. This is merely a misunderstanding."
The women remained skeptical, but a shadow of doubt took root among them. Livia leaned in slightly, her smile thin and laced with amusement.
"Are you sure?" she asked, her tone subtly teasing. "Acacius seems interested in more than just war tonight—he seems interested in you."
Valeria hesitated for the briefest moment. Throughout the evening, she had worked to ignore Commodus’s watchful gaze, and now she was also acutely aware of Marcus’s interest. But it gave her no sense of comfort. Suppressing her unease, she responded with quiet confidence, "That is nonsense," she said. "Men like General Acacius look at victory with hungry eyes. That is all you need to understand."
The women finally fell silent, though their minds continued to churn with speculation. They did not entirely believe Valeria’s words, yet the social hierarchy and its unspoken rivalries forced them to let the matter drop...for now.
As the warmth of the banquet slowly dissipated, Commodus leaned back in his gilded chair, his gaze drifting toward the table where Valeria sat. He gestured toward his servant, Servius, beckoning him closer. Commodus’s voice, as commanding as ever, carried a softer undertone this time.
"Deliver a message to Valeria," he ordered. "Tell her to meet me in the garden by the temple."
Servius bowed in acknowledgment and swiftly set off to fulfill his duty. Commodus’s eyes lingered on Valeria’s shimmering silhouette in her crimson dress. His expression was a complex blend of desire and determination. To him, Valeria was not merely a woman...she was an unattainable victory. And Commodus was not accustomed to leaving things unfinished.
When Servius delivered the emperor’s message, a flurry of whispers erupted among Valeria and her companions. Antonia’s eyes widened as she turned to Valeria.
"The garden by the temple?" she said, her voice rising with curiosity. "Just you and him? How could you possibly refuse?"
Valeria took a deep breath before answering. "This isn’t right. I do not share his feelings, and I don’t know how to make him understand that."
Livia reached out, gently squeezing Valeria’s hand. "Valeria, Commodus is not just a man...he is an emperor. Rejecting him… it could mean disaster, not just for you, but for your entire family. The Senate and the people’s support are weakening by the day."
Antonia, smirking, chimed in with an amused tone. "Don’t worry, Valeria. It’s obvious why he’s summoned you there. Accept his marriage proposal...become empress. You’ll live in comfort for the rest of your life."
Valeria shook her head firmly, inhaling deeply. "I don’t want to talk about this," she said, her voice a mix of resolve and unease. Despite her friends' pressures, she moved toward the garden with measured steps. However, knowing how unpredictable the emperor could be, she made sure to keep her wolf close.
The garden by the temple was cloaked in the silence of the night. Towering pine trees blocked out the moonlight, while marble benches and ivy-covered columns lent the place an almost enchanted air. Commodus sat on one of the benches, his expression both tense and resolute.
As Valeria stepped into the garden, she felt her heartbeat quicken. Commodus’s eyes immediately locked onto hers.
"Valeria," he said, rising slowly to his feet. "Come, sit with me."
His gaze flickered around the space, sensing the presence of the wolf. Just as Valeria found comfort in the creature’s looming shadow, Commodus felt unsettled by it...as if it carried the ghost of Maximus himself.
Valeria hesitated before stepping forward, bowing politely. "Emperor, I have come at your request."
Commodus gestured to the seat beside him. "It was not a command, but a request," he said, his voice soft yet authoritative. "There is no one else here, Valeria. Just you and me. No one will hear us. We can speak freely."
He fixed his gaze on her. "Valeria," he began, "my father never loved me. To him, I was nothing more than a burden...not a son. Maximus…" his eyes darkened as they flicked toward the wolf. "Ah, that cursed Maximus. He always made me feel like I was lesser. Like I was nothing but his shadow. But you, Valeria… you are different. When I look into your eyes, I see myself. The real me. And that is why I love you."
Valeria listened in silence as Commodus took another step closer.
"Tomorrow, the time I have given you runs out," he continued. "Say yes. Become Empress of Rome. Stand by my side, and together, we will make history. But more than that...know that I truly love you. This is not just a marriage proposal."
Valeria’s expression wavered. Commodus’s eyes reflected sincerity, yet something deep within her told her that something was terribly wrong. She averted her gaze, speaking slowly.
"This is a decision of great consequence."
Commodus’s lips curled into a faint smile, but for a brief moment, his eyes darkened. "Of course," he murmured, his voice dropping. "But I will not wait forever."
As Commodus’s obsessive words filled the air, Valeria instinctively avoided his gaze, choosing instead to remain silent. The emperor awaited her answer impatiently, but Valeria’s mind was still caught on Marcus Acacius’s lingering glances from earlier that evening.
Then, suddenly, movement flickered in the farthest shadows of the temple. Commodus’s guards had been loosened by the revelry of the banquet, their vigilance dulled. And in that moment, a whisper echoed through the temple’s quiet corners.
"Now."
Valeria’s sharp eyes caught sight of three figures emerging behind Commodus. Each of them draped in dark cloaks, each gripping a short blade, their approach slow and calculated.
She tensed, her voice low but urgent. "Behind you."
Commodus merely chuckled, dismissing her concern. "Relax, my dear Valeria. Who would dare lay a hand on me?" he mocked.
But before he could finish his sentence, the first assassin struck.
Valeria, without hesitation, grabbed Commodus by the arm and pulled him aside, narrowly saving him from the assassin’s strike. As Commodus fell to the ground, one of the attackers immediately targeted him, and they began to grapple. Another assassin raised his sword, ready to drive it into the emperor, but Valeria instinctively stepped in front of Commodus, deflecting the incoming blow. With swift precision, she kicked the attacker’s wrist, forcing him to drop his weapon. Seizing the opportunity, Valeria swiftly picked up the fallen sword. She tore away the excess fabric of her dress, freeing herself from its burden, and immediately took a battle stance.
Valeria’s fighting style was as strong and precise as that of a gladiator. She moved aggressively, skillfully blocking every strike the assassins attempted, maneuvering as if she were in an arena. Commodus watched in awe at her prowess while simultaneously struggling against his own attackers. Yet, he was soon overpowered and pinned down once more.
Breathing heavily, Valeria shouted, "Asinus!" At her command, a dark silhouette swiftly slipped through the temple’s open doors. Her ever-loyal wolf, always by her side, bared its white fangs and growled menacingly before lunging at the assassins. As the wolf attacked, Valeria took down another assassin. Two of the attackers had already been neutralized, and the third attempted to flee but Valeria’s piercing gaze did not allow it. At her signal, Asinus leaped onto the last remaining assassin, snarling as it aimed for his throat.
Meanwhile, back in the banquet hall, the joyous laughter of the guests abruptly turned into terrified screams. A second wave of assassins had stormed through the temple’s main entrance, their swords and daggers cutting down innocent bystanders. The panicked guests trampled over golden goblets and silver platters as they tried to escape, while Marcus Acacius’s soldiers sprang into action.
Marcus did not hesitate for even a moment. Drawing his sword, he barked out orders to his men. "Form defensive groups! Get the people out!" His commanding voice rang out over the chaos as he pushed toward the temple’s main platform. "Where is Commodus?" he demanded, but no one could provide a clear answer.
Then, a servant stammered, "The emperor and Lady Valeria... they are in the back of the temple!"
Marcus’s eyes darkened. "Alone?" he asked sharply. The servant nodded.
Marcus raced through the temple’s rear corridors, his breath steadying as he reached the scene.
There, against the backdrop of gilded marble columns, Commodus was cornered by four men. In front of him stood Valeria, fiercely defending the emperor as she fought off two assassins. Her movements were swift, her stance unwavering. Wielding a short dagger she had seized, she skillfully parried every strike. Beside her, her loyal wolf, Asinus, growled and lunged at another attacker.
Marcus hesitated for a brief moment, startled by the scene before him. He had never realized just how powerful and skilled Valeria truly was. But his surprise was fleeting... there was no time for hesitation. With a swift motion, he drew his sword and charged forward.
"Valeria, fall back!" he shouted.
But Valeria ignored his command. "My place is here!" she declared.
Now, Marcus and Valeria stood side by side, fighting off the assassins together. Marcus’s sword clashed with an attacker’s dagger, the sharp ring of metal against metal echoing through the temple walls. Every strike was strong and deliberate... his skills as a general evident in every move. Meanwhile, Valeria moved with calculated speed, strategically diverting the enemies’ attention.
At Valeria’s signal, Asinus lunged forward, taking down another assassin. As the wolf secured its target, Valeria turned her focus to the remaining attacker. With a swift strike of her dagger, she slashed at the assassin’s arm, forcing him to drop his weapon. But just as she gained the upper hand, an unexpected blow struck her from behind, sending her crashing to the ground.
Marcus faltered for a split second, his breath catching. "Valeria!" he called out.
But there was no time to hesitate—the battle raged on. Marcus forced himself to focus, cutting down two more attackers before finally rushing to Valeria’s side.
Valeria had suffered a deep wound to her shoulder. Blood spread across her red dress, staining the golden embroidery. Yet, despite this, the determination on her face remained unwavering. “I’m fine,” she said in a weak voice. “Just keep saving Commodus.”
Marcus admired the courage in Valeria’s eyes, but he could not leave her behind. “No, we fight together,” he said firmly. “No one is leaving you here alone.”
When the last attackers were finally subdued by Marcus’ soldiers, the temple fell into a deadly silence. Commodus sat on the ground in a corner, watching everything unfold in stunned disbelief. His gaze locked onto Valeria. He knew she had saved his life, but this only deepened his obsession with her.
Marcus carefully lifted Valeria from the ground. “A woman like you is far too valuable to Commodus,” he said, though there was a note of admiration in his voice. Valeria met his eyes and smiled faintly. “I only did what was right,” she replied. But the glimmer in her gaze conveyed far more than her words.
Asinus sat quietly beside Valeria, while the marble floor was now marked with the scars of battle.
The air in the temple remained heavy with the scent of blood and smoke. Commodus’ voice rang out in the eerie silence left by the clashing swords. “Who did this?! Who would dare attempt to assassinate me?!” His eyes burned with fury, making it clear that those responsible would face a severe punishment.
Marcus Acacius swiftly took control. “Seal all exits,” he commanded in a booming voice. “No suspect is to escape. Search every corner!” The temple was once again filled with movement as soldiers took their positions at every door, questioning everyone inside. Commodus stood tall, taking deep breaths, his anger not only directed at the assassins but also at the humiliation of such an attack in front of his people.
Just then, Valeria suddenly staggered. Commodus’ eyes fixed on her trembling hands and the pallor overtaking her face. “Valeria!” he shouted. Valeria swayed as if the ground beneath her had disappeared, then collapsed hard onto the floor. Without hesitation, Commodus caught her in his arms. “What’s happening to you?!” His voice, once furious, was now laced with fear.
Marcus immediately rushed to their side. “What’s going on? Lay her down,” he ordered. As Commodus gripped her hands tightly, Valeria whispered weakly, “I… I’m cold…”
Marcus carefully tore the fabric of her dress near the wound. The gash on her shoulder had turned a dark red, surrounded by an ominous black hue.
Marcus studied the wound intently, his expression darkening. “It’s poison,” he declared, his voice tense but resolute. “The blade was coated in a deadly substance.” The darkening blood seeping from her wound was a clear sign of the poison’s spread through her body. “This is a toxin we encountered before in our legions. Aconitum… Wolfsbane.”
Commodus' eyes narrowed. “Do you know what this is?”
Marcus nodded grimly. “Yes. It’s a poison derived from a plant. It spreads rapidly through the bloodstream, paralyzing the muscles and slowly shutting down the organs. But for it to act this fast…” He glanced at Valeria, his voice turning grave. “This version has been enhanced... deliberately made more lethal.”
Commodus’ fury deepened. “Who could be behind such treachery?! Whoever orchestrated this assassination must have also supplied the poison. This is a declaration of war!”
Valeria’s breathing grew shallower, her chest barely rising and falling. Commodus, torn between his anger and his fear of losing her, clenched his jaw. “How do we save her?” he asked, his voice almost pleading.
Marcus hesitated for only a moment before speaking with determination. “I know someone who can help her. A healer. She has the skills to slow the poison’s effects—perhaps even cure her.”
Commodus’ expression hardened. “Where is this healer? Bring them here!”
Marcus shook his head. “There’s no time for that. We must take her there immediately. The poison is spreading fast. Valeria’s strength is extraordinary, but this poison is fatal for anyone.”
Commodus hesitated. “Taking Valeria away from here is dangerous. How do we know the attackers won’t try again?”
Marcus responded with a steely voice. “The assassins are still inside, and my men will find them. But Valeria has no time! If we don’t get her out now…” He didn’t finish his sentence, but Commodus understood the weight of his words.
Commodus gritted his teeth, his eyes flashing with a mix of rage and helplessness. “Save her,” he finally said, his voice hoarse and weary. “But if anything happens to Valeria, the blame will fall on you, General.”
Marcus met his gaze sharply. “Nothing will happen to her.” Commodus hesitated before carefully handing Valeria over to Marcus, his fingers lingering on her pale face. “Bring her back to me, Marcus.”
Marcus gave a firm nod and lifted Valeria into his arms. “Asinus! Follow me!” he commanded. The wolf, having never left his master’s side, now walked silently behind him.
As Marcus carried Valeria away, he was certain he could save her. But he would not forget the fire of rage and suspicion in Commodus’ eyes. This was not just a rescue mission...it was a test of fate, one that would determine both Valeria’s life and Marcus’ own future.
As the moonlight illuminated Rome’s bloody and chaotic night, Marcus Acacius carefully placed Valeria’s nearly motionless body onto his horse. Her pale face was as pure and fragile as a white marble statue. Her eyes were closed; her lips barely moved with a breath so faint it was almost a whisper. Marcus, as if trying to feel her warmth, tightened his trembling arms around her and placed her in his lap.
“Hold on to me,” he whispered, his voice low yet determined, only loud enough to be heard in the silence of the night.
The poison slithered through Valeria’s body like a silent predator, setting her veins on fire. As Marcus held her arm, he could feel her pulse weakening rapidly. Every passing second made it clearer that this dangerous journey was her last hope. Listening to her fragile breathing, for the first time, he felt not the usual rush of battle but sheer helplessness and fear.
Gritting his teeth, he muttered to himself, “No, I won’t lose you.”
The wound on Valeria’s shoulder had darkened, her skin turning cold. As Marcus urged his horse forward with urgency, a storm of emotions raged inside him. Why did he care so much about her? Why did he feel such desperation for her survival? He had saved countless lives on the battlefield before, but this… this was different
The rhythmic sound of the horse’s hooves echoed through the cobbled streets, accompanied by a silent shadow—a wolf following closely behind them. Valeria’s loyal companion ran effortlessly alongside them, its keen eyes watching over her. The beast moved with an unyielding resolve, as if it refused to let any harm befall its mistress.
Marcus glanced at the creature and thought, Just like your owner. Silent, yet possessing a devastating power.
Valeria’s hair fluttered in the wind, her delicate neck exposed to the moonlight. The wound still oozed dark liquid, the poison creeping through her body at a slow but deadly pace.
As Marcus looked at her, he could no longer restrain himself. It wasn’t just her beauty—it was the mystery and strength she carried within her. She had a nobility that neither an aristocrat nor even a female warrior could match. He remembered how she had tamed the wolf, how she had stood fearless against assassins, how she had displayed unwavering courage in the temple. Watching her had stirred something in Marcus that was more than admiration.
But that feeling left him vulnerable.
This isn’t right, he scolded himself. She belongs to Commodus. And you… you are just a soldier.
Yet despite these thoughts, holding Valeria in his arms dragged him into an emotion he had never known before.
“Hold on, Valeria. I swear to you, I will save you.”
Through the darkness, Marcus Acacius rode toward the healer’s humble stone house. The moonlight cast long shadows on the sturdy walls, revealing the simple yet solid structure. As the horse’s hooves broke the silence, a faint glow from the window indicated that someone was inside.
Marcus’s weary face was etched with worry, and Valeria’s pale form still lay lifeless in his arms. The wolf followed like a ghost, occasionally pausing to sniff the air.
Jumping off his horse, Marcus carefully lifted Valeria into his arms. At that moment, he realized how light she was. But that weightlessness did nothing to ease the burden in his heart—it only made it heavier.
Reaching the healer’s door, he pounded on it.
“Open the door! Open it now! I have an injured patient!” His voice was firm but laced with fear.
Within moments, the door creaked open, revealing a middle-aged woman whose face was lined with age but whose eyes shone with wisdom. Dressed in a simple yet clean tunic, she held a torch that illuminated Marcus’s exhausted but determined expression.
“General Acacius?” she asked, surprised.
“Valeria is wounded,” Marcus answered, his voice trembling with restrained anger. “She’s been poisoned. You must do something immediately.”
The healer quickly pushed aside her shock and stepped aside. “Bring her in, quickly! I’ll prepare her room.”
Marcus carried Valeria through a narrow stone corridor. From the outside, the house had appeared modest, but inside, it was carefully arranged with a well-prepared patient chamber. A bed covered in clean linen, wooden shelves filled with vials of herbs, and a small fireplace burning warmly in the corner created an air of quiet urgency. The sharp scent of medicinal plants lingered in the air, signaling that a treatment was already in motion.
As Marcus gently placed Valeria onto the bed, a stray lock of her hair fell over her face. He hesitated for a moment before carefully brushing it back. Her pale face remained as silent and troubled as death itself.
The healer stepped forward, her eyes immediately locking onto the wound.
"The blade was poisoned," Marcus said, his voice a mix of hardness and fear. "I can't lose her."
The healer examined the wound carefully. "This is an ancient poison," the woman said with a soft sigh. "The poison is slowly seeping into her blood, and once it reaches her heart, death will be inevitable. But you arrived in time. There is still a chance. However, this treatment will not be easy."
Marcus searched for a glimmer of hope in the healer’s words. "Do whatever it takes. I'll help," he said without hesitation.
The healer quickly grabbed several bottles from the shelf and signaled to her assistant. The assistant, a young man, was accustomed to the healer’s orders and had skilled hands. A mortar was filled with dark-colored herbs, dried flowers, and a small amount of green liquid. The healer turned to Marcus. "To cleanse this poison, we must cut the wound open and let the blood flow. This will be difficult for both her and you, but it’s our only chance."
Marcus furrowed his brows but did not waver. "What do I need to do?"
The healer carefully lifted Valeria’s pale arm. "We must keep the wound open. As we drain the poisoned blood, we need to ensure fresh blood keeps circulating. While I open the wound, you will drop this into her vein." She handed him a small bottle. "But be careful. Too little won’t work, too much will stop her heart."
Marcus nodded firmly. "Understood."
The healer cut away the fabric around the wound and took a deep breath before drawing her knife. "Are you ready?" she asked Marcus.
"I'm ready."
As the healer wiped around the wound with a clean cloth, Valeria's face twisted in pain. Marcus gripped her hand tightly. "Hold on, Valeria," he whispered.
When the healer pressed the knife to the wound, forcing the poison out, Valeria's body flinched involuntarily. Thick, dark blood oozed out. Marcus, his hands slightly trembling, carefully dripped the green liquid into her vein. The assistant stood close by, ensuring he administered the correct amount.
"Do not rush," the healer said sharply to Marcus. "This is the line between life and death for her."
Marcus leaned in closer to Valeria. "Come on, hold on. You’re a fighter. Prove it to me," he said, his voice low but filled with deep affection. At that moment, he wasn’t just a general—he was a man fighting to keep Valeria alive.
Once the last drop of poisoned blood had been drained, the healer pressed a prepared herbal mixture onto the wound. "Now, we wait," she said. "It will take time for her to wake. Keep talking to her. It is crucial that she stays awake through the night."
Marcus held Valeria’s hand and rested his forehead gently against hers. "I’m here," he whispered. "And I’m not going anywhere." Though Valeria couldn’t open her eyes, there was the faintest twitch at the corner of her lips. Marcus could still feel the warrior inside her fighting.
Her lips moved slightly, though no words formed. Marcus leaned in even closer, as if trying to catch her breath itself. "Are you trying to say something? Come on… If you can hear me, give me a sign." Valeria's eyelids fluttered slightly, and her lips parted just enough for the faintest movement. It was enough to ignite hope within Marcus.
The healer, watching from the corner of the room, observed the scene with a knowing look. "It’s not just courage fighting for her life, General," she said, her tone thoughtful. "Your heart is fighting too. But such deep concern is not just a soldier’s duty, is it?"
Marcus lifted his head, his eyes filled with both guilt and defiance. "That’s none of your business," he said shortly. But his words lacked true coldness—he himself could feel the vulnerability behind them.
The healer smiled slightly, shaking her head. "No, it’s really not. But eyes do not lie, Marcus Acacius. I saw the way you looked at her."
For a moment, Marcus remained silent. "You’re mistaken," he finally said, his voice controlled but slightly strained. "She is the emperor’s fiancée. Commodus’ beloved. And I am his general. Something like this… something like this is impossible."
The healer chuckled softly—not mockingly, but with understanding. "If you say so," she said, clearly unconvinced. "But remember, General—your eyes betray your heart."
With that, she left them alone.
The silence that followed was as loud as the clash of swords in battle. The forbidden feelings within Marcus felt as heavy as a thousand spears pointed at him.
"This is wrong," he whispered to himself. His words echoed in the dim room, but they did nothing to silence the storm in his heart. "She belongs to Commodus. She is the emperor’s beloved."
He buried his head in his hands, taking a deep breath. "May the gods forgive me," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "This is weakness… and weakness makes a general vulnerable." But no matter how hard he tried, he could not suppress the emotions stirring within him.
A faint murmur from Valeria broke his thoughts. He lifted his head immediately, eyes fixed on her. Though still half-conscious, her lips parted slightly. "Marcus…" she breathed, his name escaping her lips like a fragile whisper.
The sound both burned and strengthened Marcus. He pulled himself together and took her hand again. "I’m here," he said, his voice unsteady. "I swear to you, Valeria. I will bring you back from this darkness. No matter the cost."
As the first light of dawn trickled through the stone walls, Marcus Acacius sat by Valeria’s bedside, his head resting near her as he watched over her throughout the night. Exhausted, he had drifted into sleep, his arm carefully placed over the blanket covering her. Valeria’s weak but steady breathing filled the quiet room.
When the healer and her assistant entered, they found Marcus still there, his exhaustion evident. The healer gently touched his shoulder. Marcus jolted awake, his hand instinctively moving toward the hilt of his sword before recognizing the familiar faces before him. "Healer," he muttered, his voice still thick with sleep. Then he immediately turned to Valeria, concern overtaking his drowsiness. "How is she? Is she better?"
The healer studied Valeria’s pale face carefully. "Not fully, General. The poison still lingers. Today will be even more difficult. But the girl has a strong will. She can overcome this."
Just then, Valeria let out a faint groan, slowly stirring. She blinked her eyes open and, upon seeing Marcus beside her, managed a weak smile. "Marcus…" she whispered, her voice hoarse. "Last night… what happened? Why am I here?"
Marcus gently squeezed her hand, trying to calm her. "You’re healing, Valeria. Just rest. We’ll talk later."
The healer turned to Marcus, her expression firm. "Today, we must open the wound again. The poison is still in her system, and we need to apply a second cure. But this will be even more painful than yesterday."
The concern on Marcus’ face was unmistakable.
Marcus frowned as he listened. "How will she endure so much pain? When she's this weak..."
The healer approached Marcus with a reassuring look. "She will endure. But with your support. You'll be by her side, won't you? If you truly want her to survive, you must be with her through every step."
Marcus nodded without hesitation. "I'll do whatever it takes. I won't leave her alone."
As Valeria slowly prepared herself, the healer made an opium tinctura—a concentrated opium extract. It wouldn't put her to sleep completely, but it would ease the pain and relax her body. Carefully, the healer brought the dark liquid to Valeria's lips. She grimaced at the bitter taste but obeyed under Marcus' reassuring gaze.
When the wound was opened, Valeria's face turned crimson, her brows furrowed in agony, but in her semi-conscious state, she couldn't scream. Marcus held her hand tightly, whispering in her ear. "I'm here. Be brave. This will end. You're a warrior, Valeria. You'll win this battle too."
The healer applied a special herbal mixture around the wound, letting the cure slowly seep in. His assistant looked at Marcus and gave a brief command. "I need to clean the wound, General. Step aside."
Tears streamed down Valeria's face. Her voice was weak but heart-wrenching. "It hurts so much... Marcus, it hurts..." she whimpered.
Marcus, his eyes welling up, ran his hand through her hair, his voice low but unwavering. "You can do this. You're doing it, Valeria. This pain is temporary. Do you hear me? It's almost over."
When the treatment was finished, the healer took a deep breath and turned to Marcus, his voice tired but hopeful. "General, as you said—this girl is a fighter. But having someone like you by her side makes her even stronger."
Marcus silently continued holding Valeria’s hand. As the healer’s words echoed in his mind, he felt a forbidden feeling begin to take root within him. But for now, it didn't matter. The battle for Valeria’s survival wasn’t over yet.
Two days later…
After Valeria’s routine treatment, Marcus took the opportunity to stay by her side once the healer left the room. He sat on the small chair beside her bed, watching her still-weakened form. Her face was pale, but her eyes were slowly regaining their light. Marcus couldn't bear seeing her so fragile, so he carefully reached for her hand. Gently, as if his touch could break her, he placed his fingers over her delicate ones.
At his touch, Valeria stirred slightly, her eyelids fluttering open. The first thing she saw was Marcus’ strong yet worried face. For a moment, they simply gazed at each other. In Marcus’ deep brown eyes, there was an intensity he tried to hide. Valeria smiled faintly, though it was a tired smile.
"General..." she murmured, her voice barely a whisper. But that one word echoed in Marcus’ chest.
"I'm here, Valeria," Marcus said, his voice as firm as a vow but also gentle.
Valeria tried to smile again, though the corner of her lips trembled slightly. "You didn’t have to stay."
Marcus was silent for a moment before bowing his head slightly. "I couldn't leave you alone. Your condition... it wasn’t good."
Valeria noticed his hand still holding hers. "I wouldn’t have expected such tenderness from a man as strong as you. Did Commodus order you to be this kind?"
Marcus flinched at the words, as if reality had slapped him in the face. Taking care of the Emperor's woman with such devotion what else could it mean? He withdrew his hand, furrowing his brows slightly as he answered.
"I promised the Emperor I would return his betrothed to him unharmed."
Valeria's expression changed. "No. Commodus… has made his interest in me very clear, but no, General. I belong to no one. I rejected his offer."
Marcus took a deep breath, feeling something inside him shift a small but unmistakable sense of relief.
"So I judged you wrongly," he admitted. "Had I known you were not the Emperor’s betrothed..."
Valeria cut him off with a small, knowing smile. "What would you have done, General? Would you have refused to help me?"
Even in her teasing tone, there was a challenge. Marcus held her gaze, determined not to betray anything.
"Perhaps... I would have seen you differently. But Valeria, you know how dangerous the Emperor’s interest is. He could force you."
This time, Valeria didn’t smile. Her gaze locked onto his, unwavering. "I won’t let anyone force me, Marcus Acacius. Remember that."
Something about her defiance made Marcus smile slightly. He found her strength and resolve... compelling.
For a while, they simply looked at each other. A quiet warmth filled the space between them. Marcus hesitated for a moment, but he still hadn’t let go of her trembling hand.
"Valeria... I would have liked to face you in battle. I never expected a senator’s daughter to know how to fight."
Valeria blinked in surprise. "You, Marcus Acacius… shouldn't be this bold. And you’re right, my father would never approve of me fighting like a gladiator."
Marcus tilted his head slightly. "Then how did you become so skilled?"
A silence settled over them. Valeria looked as if she wanted to answer but chose not to. The sound of footsteps saved her from responding.
The healer entered the room and immediately noticed the atmosphere between them.
"General, if you keep watching the young lady this closely, you may not want her to recover too soon. Such a visitor is hard to come by," he remarked with a smirk.
Marcus straightened, his expression hardening. "I'm only doing my duty."
The healer shrugged, then knelt beside Valeria to check her condition.
"Duty… of course. Always duty."
With precise movements, he checked Valeria’s pulse and examined the wound. He nodded approvingly, then smiled.
"Tomorrow, my lady, you’ll be able to leave. But you must continue to rest—the wound is not fully healed. Also..." He glanced at Marcus, a hint of amusement in his tone. "Your presence has been quite effective in her recovery. Such remarkable devotion."
Marcus ignored the healer’s pointed words, keeping his face neutral. "Thank you. Your work has been invaluable."
As soon as the healer left the room, Valeria turned to Marcus, trying to hide the unease in her expression.
"General," she began, her voice still weak but filled with curiosity, "what exactly happened to me?"
Marcus pulled his chair closer to the bed, resting one hand on his knee while the other thoughtfully touched his chin. "An assassination attempt," he said in a calm but cold tone. "Commodus was the target. And you... you found yourself protecting him, Valeria. Your courage... was impressive. But it came at a price. The dagger… it was poisoned." His words slowed slightly. "But according to the healer, you will make a full recovery."
As Valeria tried to process Marcus's words, her gaze wandered to the floor. Suddenly, her expression darkened. She took a deep breath and spoke. "But another danger awaits me..."
Marcus hesitated for a moment. "Why do you say that?"
Valeria averted her eyes from Marcus, as if trying to hide her emotions. "Commodus," she murmured. "When we return, he will propose to me again. I rejected his first proposal. He gave me time to reconsider, but I don't think he'll be as understanding this time."
Marcus remained silent for a moment. Seeing the raw fear and helplessness on Valeria’s face sent a chill down his spine. "Refusing him won’t be easy," Marcus said heavily. "But Commodus is, above all, the Emperor. He wouldn't use his power to directly threaten you or your family. At least... not openly. With his relationship with the Senate already so strained, he avoids taking actions that might damage his reputation."
The faint uncertainty in his voice was something even he noticed. Valeria had sensed what he truly meant. "Do you really believe that?" she asked, her voice trembling but challenging.
Marcus paused, then slightly bowed his head. "I don’t know," he admitted. "But I hope that harming you or your family would be his last resort."
Marcus glanced at Valeria's slightly trembling hand, then, gathering his courage, placed his own hand over hers. "Valeria," he said, his voice soft yet firm, "Your courage, intelligence, and grace captivate him. But they also put you in danger. If you ever need to defend yourself..." He hesitated for a moment, weighing the weight of his words. "I will be here."
When Valeria saw the sincerity in Marcus's eyes, she took a deep breath. Her lips trembled, but she said nothing. The fear and helplessness inside her seemed to slowly fade, replaced by the security of Marcus's presence. But the weight in her heart remained heavy.
Silence echoed in the room. Valeria leaned her head slightly toward Marcus. "Thank you," she said simply, but the gratitude in her voice was meaningful enough.
Sitting in bed, Valeria felt her impatience growing. She hated feeling weak, and despite her wound, she wanted to get up. She pressed her hand lightly against the edge of the bed and looked at Marcus Acacius with determination.
"I'm tired of lying here, General," she said, her voice still weak but filled with resolve. "I need to stand up."
Marcus frowned and shook his head. "Valeria, this is madness. You've just started recovering, and you need to rest. Trying to get up could ruin everything."
A small smile appeared on Valeria’s lips. "It’s obvious you don’t know me well, General. I’m famous for my stubbornness."
Marcus sighed. "Very well," he finally said in a measured tone. "But if you take even a single step and falter, we are going back."
Marcus helped Valeria up, supporting her as she took her first step. She wobbled slightly, but he held her firmly, ensuring she didn’t fall. "I told you," Marcus murmured, his gaze filled with concern.
Valeria slowly began to walk with Marcus’s support. "Where is Asinus?" she suddenly asked, curiosity in her voice. "I need to see him."
Just then, the door opened, and the healer entered. "The wolf?" he asked. "We found him outside near the cooking area not long ago. Happily gnawing on bones. He’s quite loyal."
The healer gave Marcus a small smile. "But my lady, if you wish to go outside, you mustn’t go alone."
When Marcus and Valeria stepped out, the crisp air brushed against their faces. A thin layer of mist hovered over the ground, giving the surroundings an ethereal atmosphere. Valeria's eyes immediately searched for Asinus. At last, she spotted him a few meters away, contentedly chewing on a bone.
With Marcus’s help, Valeria moved toward him. The wolf, noticing his owner, wagged his tail excitedly and let out a joyful howl before rushing to her side. Valeria dropped to her knees. Despite the pain in her wound, she couldn’t resist wrapping her arms tightly around him and pressing her cheek against his soft fur. "Ah, I missed you," she murmured, her voice filled with affection.
Whenever Marcus was alone with her, he felt as though he was losing control of his heart.
After a moment with the wolf, Valeria took a deep breath and stood again. As her arm stretched, pain shot through her, making her exhale sharply between her teeth.
She turned to Marcus. "I always saw you as serious, strong, and distant," she said with a hint of teasing. "But now I see... you have a kind side."
Marcus gave a small smile. "A strong man showing kindness is sometimes seen as weakness. Especially when you've spent your life on the battlefield..." His gaze dropped slightly. "I wish... things were different," he whispered.
Valeria listened carefully. "Different? In what way?" she asked.
Marcus's eyes narrowed slightly as if weighing the gravity of the question. "If I answer that, things will become even more complicated," he finally replied.
A deep sadness flickered in Valeria’s eyes. "I think it's already complicated. Perhaps accepting that is the only truth."
Marcus took a step closer, lowering his voice. "Valeria, when I speak to you, my words catch in my throat. Not even the enemies who tried to bring me to my knees could make me feel as powerless as your innocent gaze. But we both know... this isn’t right. I am a warrior; you are a noblewoman, and... you are the Emperor’s betrothed."
"Stop saying that," she said firmly. "Commodus may think what he wants, but my heart has never belonged to him. It never will."
Valeria stepped closer to him. "And every time I speak with you, I feel like I am losing control of my heart. You pull me deeper into a trap with each word you say, General."
Marcus took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. "Valeria, even this conversation is dangerous."
In her eyes, there was both defiance and surrender. Valeria reached out, gently touching his shoulder and closing the space between them.
Finally, she tilted her head up slightly and pressed her lips against Marcus’s. That kiss carried not just passion but the weight of forbidden desire. At first, Marcus froze, but then, as if the chains around his heart shattered, his hands found her waist, pulling her closer.
In that kiss, every unspoken feeling between them was laid bare. But when it ended, Marcus’s eyes were filled with sorrow.
"Valeria," he said in a deep voice, "This... must only happen once. Your happiness is beyond my reach. I would do anything to protect you, but..."
Valeria placed her hand over his lips, silencing him. "If you want to protect me, then be honest. What does your heart say, General?"
Marcus Acacius felt the storm inside him intensify as he gazed into the depth of emotions reflected on Valeria's face. There was an undeniable pull in her youth and innocence, something that drew him in no matter how hard he tried to resist.
Marcus averted his eyes from hers, taking a deep breath. His voice was firm and stern.
"What we feel, Valeria, is nothing but a fleeting illusion. Even entertaining such thoughts is a mistake."
Valeria's expression shifted. "A mistake?" she echoed, her voice trembling yet defiant. "Do you truly believe that these feelings are wrong? Or are you just trying to convince yourself?"
Marcus clenched his jaw.
"I am a soldier, Valeria," he said, his tone low but resolute. "My life is filled with blood and death. Do you wish to spend your life longing for a man who is never truly yours? These feelings will only bring disaster."
Valeria whispered, "My heart has chosen you. Don’t you… don’t you feel it too?"
Marcus closed his eyes tightly. Her innocent confession shattered every wall he had built inside himself. But as a soldier, he had learned one crucial lesson: sometimes, in order to win, one must retreat. His hands balled into fists as he struggled to maintain his composure.
"Valeria," he said, his voice carrying the finality of a judge’s verdict. "This matter will not be discussed again. It is forbidden. And you must forget it."
Valeria took a step back, as if his words had physically struck her. "Forget?" she asked, her voice a mix of pain and disbelief. "Do you truly believe you can do that, General? Because I… I know that I cannot."
Marcus lowered his head, unwilling to meet her gaze.
"I am firm in my decision, Valeria. It was nothing more than a moment of weakness. We will not speak of this again. When you are ready, I will take you home."
Valeria nodded, the emptiness inside her growing. Her voice carried both heartbreak and defiance. "Then let us not prolong this," she said, her tone cold and fragile. "Let’s return at once."
Marcus let his arms fall to his sides, stepping back. He could feel the weight of her broken heart, but he had to silence his own. This was for her own good. Valeria’s youth and innocence were not meant to bear the burden of a man like him.
Without accepting his help, Valeria made her way inside, her pain evident in every hesitant step. She staggered, her breath catching in her throat, the wound in her heart as raw as the ones on her body.
After Marcus Acacius left Valeria at the palace, he felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness. Days passed, yet neither he nor Valeria spoke a word to each other after that passionate kiss. Marcus buried himself in his duties, avoiding her at all costs, convincing himself that as long as she was safe under the Emperor’s protection, he could find solace. But every night, his mind betrayed him bringing back the memory of Valeria’s face, her touch, and the intensity of their kiss.
Valeria, on the other hand, struggled in the palace, suffocated by Commodus’ growing attention and the pain of Marcus’ rejection. The turmoil within her only deepened caught between the suffocating pressure of the Emperor and the forbidden love she harbored for Marcus.
Commodus, upon seeing her, made no effort to hide his delight, parading around the palace as he boasted about his bravery and the lengths he had gone to protect her. He spoke to Valeria as if he were a hero, expecting admiration in return. Though she remained composed, Valeria could sense the veiled threat behind his gaze.
Am I Not Merciful?!
One day, Emperor Commodus summoned Valeria to his chambers. Marcus Acacius was there with him, engaged in a discussion over a map. The emperor had just given Marcus a series of orders regarding war preparations and was devising a new strategy to expand the empire’s borders. Marcus remained serious and focused, but the moment Valeria entered the room, he could sense that something had changed.
As Valeria appeared at the doorway, Commodus rose to his feet, his familiar possessive smile spreading across his lips. "My dear Valeria," he said, his voice adopting an overly sweet tone. "I’m glad you’re here. It’s time for us to talk."
Marcus’s brow furrowed slightly at the sight of her, but he quickly composed himself, lowering his gaze back to the map as if trying to pretend she wasn’t there at all. Yet Valeria’s eyes lingered on him. Their gazes locked for a fleeting moment one that ignited a silent fire between them.
Breaking the silence, Commodus stepped toward Valeria and gently touched her chin. "I gave you time to think about my offer," he said. "As an emperor, I have shown you more than enough mercy. But after recent events, far too much time has passed. Now, you must decide. My patience has run out."
Valeria’s heart pounded in her chest. She could hear the veiled threats in his words. "Your Majesty," she began, her voice measured and respectful. "I am deeply grateful for the great honor you have bestowed upon me. Your strength, your justice, and your leadership are the very foundation of this empire…"
Marcus’s gaze flicked toward her the moment those words left her lips. His expression, though controlled, held a flicker of surprise and something deeper pain. Valeria sounded as if she were about to accept Commodus’s marriage proposal. Marcus continued to observe her, his head inclining slightly, his eyes giving her an almost imperceptible nod.
It was as if he were saying, This is the right choice.
When Valeria caught that look, she felt her breath hitch. A surge of anger and disappointment burned through her. The idea that Marcus of all people approved of her marrying Commodus felt like a dagger to her chest. She turned back to Commodus, whose expectant expression remained, but suddenly, her words shifted.
"…But, Your Majesty," Valeria said, her voice now firmer, filled with newfound resolve. "I fear I would crumble under such a great responsibility. I know that I am not strong enough to stand beside a ruler as mighty as you."
Commodus’s smile froze for just a second before he quickly recovered. "Strength?" he echoed, his voice eerily calm. "Strength, Valeria, comes only from the heart. And I know that your heart is strong."
Valeria held her head high, refusing to soften the hard edge in her expression. "Your Majesty, I am honored by your offer. However, I do not believe I am worthy of you. And for that reason… I cannot accept."
Silence fell over the room.
Marcus stiffened at Valeria’s words, his entire body going rigid. The carefully composed mask Commodus wore cracked—just slightly—but he quickly patched over it. He continued to smile, inclining his head ever so slightly.
"I see," Commodus said, his voice steady but carrying an undercurrent of something dangerous. Then, slowly, he turned his gaze toward Marcus.
"General," he said, his tone deceptively calm but laced with an unmistakable warning. "I wish to speak with Valeria alone. You may leave."
Marcus’s brows knit together slightly. Every instinct told him that leaving Valeria alone in this room with Commodus was a mistake. "Your Majesty, perhaps another time—"
Commodus’s voice dropped to a chilling whisper. "I believe I made myself clear, General. Leave."
Marcus knew that defying a direct order was not an option. He had no choice but to bow his head in submission. Before turning away, he cast one last look at Valeria. His gaze held concern, protectiveness, and something else regret.
"As you command, Your Majesty," he said, stepping toward the door. But each step felt heavier, the weight of leaving Valeria in this dangerous solitude pressing on him.
Just before closing the door, Marcus stole a final glance back. Valeria stood with her back to him, facing Commodus, unyielding. The emperor, in turn, watched her like a predator sizing up his prey.
The sight left a bitter taste in Marcus’s mouth.
But he shut the door and forced himself to walk away, trying not to think about what might happen next.
As soon as the door closed, Commodus took a deep breath, and the silence in the room cast a shadow over Valeria. "I have waited far too long to speak with you alone, Valeria," Commodus said, his voice as smooth as ever, but now tinged with a hint of mockery. In his eyes, barely concealed beneath his composed exterior, was the simmering rage of a man who had just been rejected.
The air in the emperor’s chamber was thick with tension. His face appeared calm, but the slight tremor in his gaze and the way his hands clenched and unclenched betrayed the fury bubbling beneath the surface.
"Valeria," Commodus murmured, his voice still soft but carrying an unsettling edge, as if it could turn to steel at any moment. "I must admit, I admire how strong-willed and stubborn you are. But…" He stepped closer, and Valeria instinctively took a step back. Commodus halted, tilting his head slightly. "Why does that stubbornness prevent you from understanding my love for you?"
Valeria hesitated. In the depths of Commodus’s gaze, there was darkness one that pierced through the mask of false kindness he wore. "Your Majesty…" she began cautiously, but Commodus silenced her with a raised hand.
"No. Today, I will speak, and you will listen!" His voice was still composed, yet a dangerous sharpness had crept into his tone. "I have told you that I love you, that I have protected you at every turn, that I would sacrifice anything for you… And still, you rejected me. Your heart! Your heart may not want me, but an emperor’s heart… loves revenge."
Valeria froze. Commodus’s voice was no longer affectionate; it was a poisoned arrow aimed directly at her. His eyes had darkened, his gaze drilling into her with an unsettling intensity.
"Did I not say I wouldn’t harm you?" Commodus took another step forward. "Ah, my dear Valeria… Mercy is my greatest virtue." He paused, his voice eerily calm. "But even virtues have their limits."
Valeria’s heart pounded violently, and a cold sweat trickled down her forehead. "What do you mean, Your Majesty?" she asked, her voice unsteady.
"I should have you killed, but I never will," Commodus said, forcing a smile onto his lips. "Instead, every single day that you have denied me, you will come to regret your decision."
Valeria’s eyes widened. "No! Please, do not harm my family!" she pleaded, her voice echoing through the chamber. Commodus, however, only let out a mocking laugh.
"I would never be an emperor unworthy of my people," he said with exaggerated righteousness. "Even when they make mistakes, I am forgiving… though small prices must still be paid." But his voice had risen now, turning into something more unhinged. Commodus suddenly grabbed Valeria’s arm, his grip tightening as he shook her violently. "AM I NOT MERCIFUL?" he roared, his eyes wild with madness.
Valeria recoiled, trying to pull away, but his grasp was as unyielding as iron. Staring into his frenzied eyes, she felt both terror and helplessness. "Your Majesty… please," she whispered, but there was no escape from his grasp.
For a moment, Commodus hesitated. He took a deep breath, loosening his hold. He let her go but his eyes never left her. "I forgive you," he said, his voice eerily composed once more. But Valeria knew that this was merely the calm before the storm. Commodus inclined his head slightly, an unsettling smirk on his lips. "Remember, Valeria," he said mockingly. "Mercy is my greatest virtue. But everyone must pay a price. And so will you."
The echo of footsteps resounded through the cold stone corridors of Rome, not as mere footsteps, but as the march of judgment. Under Commodus’s orders, soldiers moved swiftly in the dead of night, pulling Valeria’s loyal companion, Asinus, from his stable.
At first, the wolfhound did not resist, trusting the humans around him as he always had. But the scent in the air changed, and when the soldiers’ chains struck against his neck with harsh force, his instincts flared. A growl rumbled deep in his throat, echoing through the palace corridors. He never made it to Valeria’s chamber he vanished like a ghost into the darkness.
The next morning, when Valeria saw the empty stable, the dread in her chest twisted into fury. Gathering her resolve, she made her way to Lucilla, Commodus’s sister, the only person who might help her. She found her in the grand halls of the palace, her voice urgent as she called out. Lucilla turned at the sound, immediately noticing the distress on Valeria’s face.
"What happened? You look pale."
Valeria’s voice trembled as she spoke. "Asinus… He’s gone. My wolf, my only friend! He wasn’t in the stable. Someone took him," she said, tears streaming down her face. The stone walls of the palace seemed to swallow her sorrow whole.
Lucilla knew her brother’s cruelty all too well. "Perhaps… perhaps he just wandered off, Valeria. Maybe he will return," she offered, but even her voice carried no conviction.
Valeria turned to her, her eyes ablaze with anger and fear. "Commodus did this, didn’t he?" she demanded.
Lucilla remained silent. That silence alone was enough to confirm Valeria’s worst fear.
Meanwhile, Asinus was being prepared for the arena, a pawn in Commodus’s cruel scheme. The wolfhound had been confined to a dungeon-like space beneath the palace, left without food or water. For days, he heard only the clinking of his own chains, his body weakening while his instincts sharpened. The guards beat him, trying to strip the loyalty and gentleness from his eyes, trying to awaken the beast within.
Commodus’s orders were clear Asinus was to be trained for battle, transformed into a savage creature, and paraded before the crowds as nothing more than a mindless beast.
Every morning, Asinus was dragged into the empty arena with chains. The gladiators struck him with wooden swords, forcing him to snarl and bare his teeth. During these training sessions, his fur became matted with blood and dust, yet he never stopped resisting. No matter how much pain they inflicted, he refused to become the savage beast Commodus wanted him to be. He still carried the loyal and noble spirit that Valeria had taught him.
The day Asinus was to be taken into the arena was fast approaching. To Commodus, this fight was a symbol of his power. When he realized that Valeria would never kneel before him, he decided to spill Asinus’s blood in the arena as a declaration of his victory before the Roman people. The death of an animal in the arena was another way to enslave a person’s soul.
The fine line between the grandeur of Rome and the darkness of bloodshed was about to be drawn in the tragedy of an innocent creature. As the golden sunlight illuminated the stone columns of the Colosseum, the voices of thousands echoed through the arena walls. The crowd was eager for entertainment and brutality; Commodus sat among them, exuding the air of an indifferent king upon his throne. Valeria stood beside him, a silent prisoner. She had been forcibly brought here, taken from her home under the escort of soldiers.
As the iron gates slowly rose, something inside Valeria shattered. The scent of dust and animal musk filled the air first. Then, a familiar figure appeared, restrained by chains. Asinus was being dragged into the arena, his wild eyes filled with the yearning for freedom. He snarled, struggling against his bindings. The cheers of the crowd drowned out his desperate efforts. Valeria clasped her hands over her mouth, letting out a muffled cry.
"No! This is not a game! You can't do this!"
Commodus turned to her with a calm smile, placing his hand gently on her shoulder.
"My dear Valeria, this is merely a spectacle," he said, his tone almost fatherly, yet laced with a subtle menace. "The people of Rome deserve to witness justice in its most entertaining form, don’t you think?"
As another gate opened, a gladiator clad in armor emerged from the other end of the arena. He wielded a deadly spear in one hand and a round shield in the other. The gladiator hesitated for a moment, seeming to acknowledge Asinus with an air of respect. But under the sharp gaze of Commodus, he had no choice but to follow orders.
Valeria clutched Commodus’s arm.
"Stop this! I beg you, Commodus, put an end to this!" Her eyes brimmed with tears, her voice trembling with despair.
Commodus leaned in closer, his words dark and intimate.
"Asinus is just an animal, my dear Valeria. What truly matters is you. The light of Rome. But debts must be paid. Now, watch."
Asinus lunged toward the gladiator, finally free of his chains. But exhaustion was evident in his movements. Valeria could see the signs—he had been tortured and starved before the fight. She realized then that the emperor still nursed his hatred for a dead general even after two years and was now exacting his vengeance upon the wolf.
At first, the gladiator remained on the defensive, blocking Asinus’s desperate attacks. But then, at a subtle signal from Commodus, he moved in for the kill. The crowd erupted in cheers, their thirst for blood and violence insatiable, while Valeria felt as if she were trapped in a living nightmare.
Valeria’s screams carried all the way to the section where Marcus Acacius stood. For a moment, the sound froze him in place. When he turned toward the arena and saw Asinus, something in him stirred. The noble beast fought with every ounce of courage he had, refusing to die easily. Marcus’s hands clenched into fists, his breath quickened. He understood then that this was nothing more than another way for Commodus to assert control over Valeria. But Marcus had his own duty to fulfill—he was preparing to leave for a new mission with his soldiers. And as a ruler who had secured his power with the support of the people, he had already succeeded in silencing the Senate. Even so, the rage and grief inside him were undeniable.
When blood finally stained the dust-covered ground, Asinus collapsed. The deafening roar of the crowd filled the arena as Valeria squeezed her eyes shut, unable to bear the sight. But Commodus gripped her shoulder once more, his voice dripping with cruel satisfaction.
"You must watch," he murmured with a dark smile. "Everything has a price, my dear Valeria."
Valeria gasped for breath, feeling as though the air had been stolen from her lungs. In a sudden movement, she wrenched herself free from Commodus’s grasp.
"I hate you!" she screamed, tears streaming down her face. Commodus’s smile slowly faded as Valeria turned and fled the arena, running through the grand doors of the Colosseum.
As she disappeared into the city, Marcus Acacius was finishing his final orders to his men. He saw the young woman, her face flushed from crying, her body trembling. For a brief moment, he wanted to abandon everything and go after her. But duty held him back.
The events of the arena would not be forgotten—not by Valeria, not by Marcus, and certainly not by Commodus. This was not the end of their story. Valeria’s tears, Marcus’s silent fury, and Commodus’s relentless cruelty would intertwine their fates once more.
The star-studded sky of Rome cast its weight over Valeria’s home. In the deep silence of the night, a mournful air filled the girl's room. She sat by the window, lost in the memory of Asinus. Her eyes carried exhaustion, her face despair. Her hands restlessly moved over her knees; she wanted to do something, but there was nothing she could do.
A gentle breeze slipped through the crack in the window. With it, a shadow emerged. Marcus Acacius entered almost soundlessly. Though the weight of his armor brought a faint echo into the room, his movements held the disciplined caution of a gladiator. At first, Valeria did not notice the shadow, but when she suddenly turned and saw him, her eyes widened.
"Marcus!" she whispered. Her voice was filled with both shock and a hint of anger. "What are you doing here? If my brother or father sees you..."
Marcus raised his hand slightly to silence her. "No one noticed me. I had to see you," he said. The concern in his voice made it clear why he had taken this dangerous risk.
Valeria looked at Marcus without wiping away her tears. "I... I can't say I'm fine. But maybe it doesn't matter. I never truly understood who Commodus was. As a child, I thought there was goodness in him. I believed he would protect me, that he would never harm me... But I was wrong. And now Asinus... Asinus' death..." Her voice cracked, the words breaking on her lips.
Marcus knelt beside her. "Valeria," he said, his voice low but firm. "I know there is nothing I can say to ease your pain. But know this: Asinus' death is not your fault. Commodus’ heart... it is like stone, unfeeling. He has no concept of morality."
Valeria turned her head toward Marcus. "But why?" she asked. In her eyes, there was a plea for an answer. "If he is so evil, why is he still this powerful? Marcus, you are doing nothing to change this. Does this satisfy you? Aren’t you a general, a leader? Commodus listens to you. He trusts you."
Marcus lowered his head and gave a faint smile, but it was filled with sorrow. "Commodus' trust exists only as long as I obey him," he said. "But Valeria, no matter what, I will stand by your side. If I can keep you safe, that is enough."
Valeria gripped Marcus' hand tightly. "I don’t want safety, Marcus. I want freedom. For myself, for my people... And I want you to be part of it."
Marcus took a deep breath. "Valeria, overthrowing Commodus is not just about courage. It is about power. To start a rebellion, I must gather loyal soldiers. More than half the army is devoted to Commodus. After Maximus, he made much more strategic moves. I can only trust a few. This is not something that can be solved overnight."
Marcus took a few steps and said, "It’s not just about gathering soldiers," his voice carrying an undertone of helplessness. "This month, I must prepare for the Eastern Campaign that Commodus has planned. I have been assigned to reorganize Caesar’s legions. If I let this opportunity slip, I may never have another chance."
Valeria’s face twisted with anger and grief she could no longer suppress. "The Eastern Campaign? Are you here to protect Rome, or to serve as a shield for Commodus’ cruelty? Going east, following his orders—is that not submission?"
Marcus remained silent. She was right, but he understood the deeper strategy behind this. Infiltrating Commodus' legions was a step toward an internal coup. Yet, he did not want to explain this to Valeria.
Seeing his silence, Valeria took courage and stood up. Her eyes locked onto Marcus' deep brown ones. Her fingers brushed against his wheat-colored skin as she gently caressed his cheek. "Marcus, if we were just two ordinary people, do you know what would happen? Maybe we would live in a simple countryside farm. We would have children, raised within a life filled with love. Peaceful and happy, living a true life."
Marcus took a deep breath. "Valeria, we cannot escape reality. We are both part of the palace. My duty is to protect Rome. Your duty, as a noblewoman, is to protect your honor, to be a symbol of hope for the people."
Valeria narrowed her eyes and took a step closer. "Yes, we are not ordinary people. But we can feel like them. Even if our love is forbidden, our hearts beat like any other. You, Marcus Acacius—why do you deny this? If you truly care for me, why are you afraid?"
Marcus flinched at her words. Valeria’s defiant voice shook the deepest corners of his heart. Slowly, he turned toward her, his face in the darkness appearing both hardened and vulnerable. "Because..." he started, but the words caught in his throat.
Sensing his hesitation, Valeria pressed further, her confidence growing. "You fought for me, protected me, mourned Asinus. Isn't that too much for an ordinary Roman general? Marcus, tell me the truth. What do you feel for me?"
Marcus stopped resisting. His eyes locked onto Valeria’s, and he slowly reached out, gently caressing her cheek. “Valeria,” he said, his voice trembling yet firm. “I love you. Admitting this has been the hardest battle of my life.”
Valeria was momentarily stunned by Marcus' confession.
Marcus hesitated for a moment longer. Then, suddenly, he cast aside all his reservations and leaned toward Valeria. His hand cupped her chin, and he pressed his lips against hers.
The moment Marcus’ lips touched Valeria’s, time seemed to stop. Rome’s grand villa stood as a silent witness under the moonlight. The kiss was as passionate as the clash of two swords on a battlefield, yet as tender as the dance of two souls finally uniting. In Marcus' strong arms, Valeria felt like a goddess; the kisses of this battle-hardened man transported her to a sacred temple, a world where only the two of them existed.
Marcus’ fingers traced the contours of Valeria’s face, feeling the warmth of her delicate skin beneath his touch. This contact was a healer, wiping away the exhaustion of a thousand battles. Valeria placed her hands on Marcus’ armored chest, and through the passion of their kiss, she embraced him as if wanting the entire world to understand what they felt. With her eyes closed, she wanted to be certain that this was not a dream.
This kiss resembled a tragedy written by the gods holding the passion of Zeus and Hera, yet carrying the sorrow of Prometheus. Their love felt both blessed and cursed. Marcus gripped Valeria’s waist, pulling her even closer. In that moment, it was as if they had cast off all the burdens of the world. Rome, Commodus, wars… all were forgotten. Only they remained, two souls entwined.
Marcus pulled away, breathless. His eyes lingered in Valeria’s gaze for a moment, seeing an eternity in those deep brown depths. “Valeria,” he whispered. “This feels like a forbidden dream.”
A smile appeared on Valeria’s lips. “I feel the same. Being with you is like touching the stars. But at the same time, I fear losing them.”
Marcus’ expression grew serious. “Not yet. Not now. The Eastern Campaign could be a beginning. A chance to divert Commodus’ attention and gather soldiers loyal to me. Bringing him down will be a longer battle than we thought. But for you… for you, I will win this war.”
Valeria placed her hand against Marcus’ cheek, gazing at him with admiration. “You,” she said, her voice trembling with emotion, “are not just a soldier. You are a leader, a hero. And I love you in every way, Marcus Acacius. There is nothing in all of Rome’s gold that I would trade you for.”
Marcus couldn’t stop himself from kissing her again. This time, the kiss was even deeper, even more passionate. As Valeria surrendered completely to Marcus, she felt the moment transform into something sacred. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she absorbed every breath they shared between their lips. This was more than just a kiss—it was a moment carved into Rome’s stone walls, an eternal testament to their love.
Marcus placed one hand on Valeria’s back, the other around her legs, lifting her effortlessly off the ground. Without breaking eye contact, he carefully approached the bed, laying her gently onto the silk sheets before sitting beside her. But Valeria was ready for more. She grasped Marcus’ arm, pulling him down with unexpected force. Marcus leaned in, sealing his lips against hers once more, as if he would never let go.
Their breaths mingled, and the forbidden yet legendary nature of their love echoed like a hymn to Rome’s ancient gods. This moment felt as if it were being etched into history as one of the greatest love stories ever told.
When Marcus finally broke the kiss again, both of them were breathless. “This war will be long,” Marcus said, his voice both determined and passionate. “But no matter what it takes, I will protect you. I will stand by your side.”
Valeria caressed her thigh near her groin, taking a deep breath. “And I, Marcus, will always be by your side. Even if death awaits us in the end, I will never leave you.”
With those words, they both knew that the fire burning in their hearts could no longer be extinguished. This love was not just theirs; it was a legend that would be etched into the history of Rome.
Marcus Acacius was determined to make Valeria feel better tonight. He would bring light to her darkened soul, mourning the loss of Asinus, and pull her away from the suffocating loneliness that had imprisoned her. A young woman like Valeria deserved this. While girls her age sat in their chambers, pondering what to wear to tomorrow’s garden parties, Valeria was paying the price for a sin that was never hers. Her family had always seen her as nothing more than an asset, valuable only because of their position at the emperor’s right hand. She had been alone since childhood. And now, with Asinus—the only true friend who had nourished her soul—cruelly taken away, the only hope Valeria had left to hold onto was Marcus Acacius' love.
Tonight, he would set aside his identity as a general and engrave upon her skin the undeniable truth that she was not alone.
As Marcus continued his tender kisses, his hands explored the curves of Valeria’s body. His fingers trailed from her waist down to her hips, feeling the full, rounded softness that seemed to ripple beneath his touch. When the calloused palm of a man who had spent years gripping the hilt of a sword met the smoothness of her legs, he found them as flawless as Rome’s famed marble and as soft as Chinese silk.
She reminded him of the freshness of his younger years.
Valeria gently lifted her head, pulling away from Marcus’ lips for a brief moment. In her eyes, a mix of desire and love shone—something that might have seemed sinful but was perhaps the purest feeling in the world.
Marcus curled his lips into a smile, his expression full of warmth. “What is it, my love?”
Valeria's lips parted, and her words came out as a whisper. The smile on her face was undoubtedly an attempt to mask her shyness. “If you don’t take off your armor, how can I touch your skin?” Her eyes held a look that longed for more than just a kiss.
Marcus was taken aback. “Do you really want this, Valeria? You know, you don’t have to. I’ll only touch you when you’re ready.”
But Valeria needed to understand where she stood in Marcus’ heart. She wanted to be certain that their kisses weren’t merely gestures of affection or sympathy. She wanted to find each other in the overwhelming pleasure of their bodies entwined. “I want this,” she whispered.
Marcus rose from the bed, never breaking eye contact with Valeria as he began removing his armor. His movements were slow yet precise. As Valeria watched him, her gaze traced the muscles of his body, the strength in his arms, the imposing presence of the man standing before her—the man who wanted to make love to her. And that was when she truly noticed how much older he was.
The deep lines on his face told the story of the battles he had won, the enemies he had conquered, and the strategies he had devised. The silver strands woven into his hair and beard screamed of a life where not a single moment had been wasted.
The realization sent a strange thrill through her. To have captured the attention of such a perfect general, to belong to his tenderness, his mind, his reason, his vulnerabilities, and his raw desires—it was intoxicating. The pride she felt at being desired by him mutated into an undeniable arousal.
Marcus could be everything to her—her mentor, her friend, her father figure, her lover.
And what feeling could be more satisfying than that?
Absolutely nothing.
She let out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of his chest pressing against hers. The scent of a soldier still clung to his clothes, and she knew that just a few hours ago, he had been giving orders to lower-ranking soldiers. He should terrify you; in every way, a general should inspire fear. But she was undeniably in love with him, caught in the spell of something that kept pulling her in. He intrigued her, he surprised her.
Marcus slid his hands under her green nightgown and pulled her upwards. His fingers found her clit, warm and glistening in the reflected candlelight; they brushed softly against the slick skin of her vulva. His fingers took control, digging into her wet folds and slowly teasing her entrance. Instinctively, her hips bucked, the need for his fingers inside her growing stronger. She knew it too, as his fingers slowly, painfully circled her clit. The pain in her nub grew stronger, her heartbeat echoing loudly in her ears. She sank her head hard into the pillow.
“Please,” she begged.
Marcus’s free hand gripped Valeria’s chin tightly. His thumb brushed over her lips, opening her mouth and speaking against her lips before exploring her mouth with his tongue.
“No, not now, my lady. This is your first night. I’ll come inside you when you’re ready,” he said, his breath mixed with hers…
When Marcus pushed his tongue into Valeria's mouth, he realized how wet she was. Warm and tempting, just like her wet vulva. His tongue licked her hungrily as he sensually caressed her clitoris and the entrance to her vagina.
Valeria was trying hard not to moan, otherwise she was about to reach the peak of pleasure that would echo throughout the room. But she couldn't do it, that would mean throwing herself into the fire. Especially with her brother behind the wall where her head was... What if he heard her sister's moans? This moment when the night locked the sounds inside made the sins much more visible. This was crazy. While her family was busy with their work in the house, their young daughter was tasting pleasure for the first time in the arms of a man older than her father in her room. Moreover, this risk, the idea of being caught, excited Valeria and made her feel every touch and caress of Marcus more sensitively.
Marcus wanted to see Valeria's womanhood, to live it, to feel it in his mouth the way he felt his tongue. To feel such a young, intact vulva in his mouth would be like a blessing to him. His whole system would collapse and his orgasm would be just as intense.
He pulled back his lips and sat up slightly. While Valeria was wondering what Marcus had in mind, Marcus completely removed her nightgown and dropped it on the nearby chair, leaving Valeria's smooth skin completely bare.
"Now I want you to open your legs a little, my lady," Marcus said. Valeria, excited at the certainty that he would finally enter her, did as he said. Her feet slid across the sheets, opening them wide enough for him to get between her hips. But something was wrong. She expected Marcus to stand up, put his knees on the bed, and get between her legs, facing each other, but he didn't. On the contrary, Marcus Acacius moved a little closer to the edge of the bed, away from her, and moved his head toward her womanhood.
Valeria raised her head and looked at what the man was doing. Her lips parted in surprise and excitement. "What are you doing, General?"
Marcus cocked his head mischievously and looked down at her. “I promise you, not a single day in your future sexual experiences will go by that this moment doesn’t cross your mind,” he said, his voice laced with bitterness and lust.
Valeria had heard about many sexual experiences while talking to her other noble friends. Some had been with her husband, some had been while she was handling a few boys chosen by the commoners, some had been with her lover. She even knew that her brother had been to Rome's most famous brothel, but she had never heard of such a thing or seen anyone do it. This was very new. Very different.
Marcus paused for a moment when he saw her vulva and how full it was. It was something else he thought was as delicious as red meat and wine. A juicy, gooey, full vulva. His fingers first squeezed the outer lips. Then he cupped her, feeling the fullness in his palm. Then he inserted his thumb and forefinger between her outer lips and stretched them outward. Her swollen, twitching clitoris stood before him like a work of art. It was bright red, stained with pink tones all the way to the entrance of her vagina.
"You are beautiful, Valeria," Marcus said, the admiration evident in his voice. "I have never seen anything like it before."
Valeria felt a twinge of shame in her heart. Everyone said she was the most beautiful girl in Rome, but no one had ever admired her body or her femininity. This was new, and it felt absurdly good.
When Marcus pressed his tongue against her inner lips and began to lick them up and down, Valeria flinched. Her eyebrows were furrowed in pleasure, and she could not breathe. She buried her head in the pillow and her chin rose. She wanted to scream, to moan out loud, but she could not. She exerted all her strength on the sheets, squeezing them until the veins in her hands became more visible. She held her breath when Marcus began to move his tongue in a circular motion around her clitoris and squirt. The slick sound of her wet vulva meeting his tongue echoed in her ears, and was proof of how hungrily he was licking.
While Marcus placed his tongue at the entrance of her vagina and stimulated it, Valeria bit her lower lip. Otherwise, her breathing would have increased, her breathing would have become harsh and she would have almost shouted. Her body was writhing in the arms of pleasure. In adolescence, Commodus would try to excite her with small touches to show how much he desired her and was in love. He touched her hips once, moved his lips to her neck once, and cupped her breasts once. These were the most erotic moments for a young girl who was just learning about her sexuality at that time, and even though she didn't like Commodus, she let him do these. She had always wanted to taste the strongest pleasures that sex would provide with the man she would love. But this was far beyond what she had expected.
Marcus continued to flick her inner lips with his tongue, occasionally kissing her and while kissing her, he was sucking her clitoris with juices, drinking her juices of pleasure. He continued to lick her from top to bottom with appetite, making small moans that showed how much he enjoyed it. In the meantime, Valeria's breasts rose and rose, feeling as if she could no longer endure this merciless pleasure, she involuntarily reached her hand to Marcus's gray hair and pulled it, intertwining her fingers between them. Her legs were shaking. She almost wanted to close her legs, squeeze her womanhood and give her body, which was captive to this wild pleasure, some rest.
Valeria nearly cried, “Please,” she moaned again, a low moan. But this time Marcus knew Valeria was ready. He pulled his head away from her vulva, straightened up, and crawled onto her. He put his hand on her neck and squeezed gently. He growled with the harsh, authoritative tone his military service had given him, “Please, what, Valeria, speak plainly to me!” All he needed was a nudge and he would give her what she wanted.
"Come inside me, I want you inside me," she begged.
Marcus sat up to pull off the fabric covering him, crossing his arms as he gripped the hem of his clothing and removed it in one swift motion. As his body was left completely bare, his tensed muscles, broad shoulders, and defined Adonis belt were revealed.
He leaned over her again, his groin between her legs as his long penis rubbed against the entrance to her vagina. He couldn't wait to root it in her vagina, but he was a gentleman enough to know that he had to practice first. He wanted to make Valeria's first night the most pleasurable of her life, and he was afraid of making her regret it.
As the hard tip of his cock continued to push against her vagina, he enjoyed the lustful expression on Valeria's face. Every time she moaned, he heard how much she enjoyed having a man as old as her father fuck her, and it made him even more horny.
He wanted a definitive answer from Valeria. He asked breathlessly, "Do you want my veiny cock in your tight vagina, Valeria, huh? Do you really want me inside you?"
Valeria's patience was running out, she put her hands on his hair and pulled, "Gods, do it Marcus, I want you inside me, please, do it."
Marcus put one hand on Valeria's face, so afraid of hurting her that he was very careful when entering her, while he was caressing the girl's cheek with affection. Valeria's juices were thick and slippery enough. So he had no trouble entering her. But Valeria's vagina, which had never tasted a penis inside her before, was stretched by Marcus's cock and it hurt when her walls completely enclosed him. She closed her eyes tightly, breathing through her teeth. "Marcus," she said with an innocent expression on her face, "it hurts."
Marcus continued his tender caresses. His lips kissed her between her jawbone and her ears, whispering, "Shh... It'll pass soon," he said, "No need to get excited, your vagina is just getting used to my big penis. It'll pass soon, okay," he said, continuing to caress her hair and treat her with care. As the pained expression on Valeria's face began to give way to pleasure again, Marcus sped up. His penis was completely hard, his balls red and swollen.
Neither of them could regulate their breathing rhythms, they were breathing rapidly. He kept his eyes fixed and wanted to see every expression of his forbidden love. When Valeria's moans started to get louder, Marcus' hands suddenly slid to her mouth and closed it tightly. "Try to control yourself, darling. You don't want your family to hear us, do you?" He growled with light moans. But how could a young woman who had experienced such pleasure for the first time stay calm while Marcus' thick tool was pressing on her 'G' spot?
Marcus pulled his hand away from her mouth and pushed his thumb into her lips. It was still early, but he wanted to imagine how Valeria would perform if she ever wanted to take his cock in her mouth. Valeria imitated Marcus’s tongue strokes as she licked his finger. His thumb was inside her mouth, leaving a salty taste on her tongue. She licked her warm finger, moving her tongue around both the top and bottom layers, licking hungrily like she was licking a candy cane. This was making Marcus even more horny. He increased his speed as he imagined her tongue strokes on his cock.
"You use your tongue wonderfully," he said to Valeria, and Valeria was proud that the experienced man in front of her was pleased despite her inexperienced sucking, and a strange desire arose within her.
There was a 'crack' sound as Marcus' balls hit Valeria's hips. The colorless liquid flowing from the tip of his penis combined with hers, making the squirting sound louder. The bed creaked in sync as he increased the speed of his fucking.
"Oh, my gods," Marcus moaned. "May the gods forgive me, but I love being close to you. I love touching you, Valeria." He continued to pound his cock into her rapidly. "No one loves you as much as I do, Valeria. Not the emperor, not anyone else, do you understand," he said between his growls. And he continued to fuck her mercilessly. He thrust hard as if the general spirit he had been trying to suppress had emerged. Valeria was now at the height of her orgasm. Although the penis had completely filled her vagina, the juices of pleasure had leaked from the vagina's exit. This drove her crazy and when she began to moan loudly, Marcus this time closed his lips on hers. He kissed her passionately. "Shhh... my love, be patient a little longer. It's almost here." The bed was shaking violently. Marcus's hips were now tightened, his sperm was almost about to wash Valeria's womanhood. But Marcus could not allow such a thing, he held himself back and suddenly pulled out of Valeria and came on her groin, breathless. As his sperm slid down her skin in a white liquid, Marcus looked at Valeria, supporting himself with his arms on either side of her head. There was a mixture of surprise and happiness on her face, while at the same time, his ears were ringing from the final stroke of pleasure. Marcus felt at ease with the idea that the goddess in front of him was pleased with him.
"I love you," Marcus said, and leaning forward, he kissed her on the forehead for a long time. Then he moved to her lips and kissed her warmly, as if they hadn't just made passionate love. Then he threw himself on the empty side of the bed.
Marcus Acacius lay wrapped around Valeria in the heavy silence that surrounded the room lit by the dim light of the torches. His chest supported Valeria's delicate head, while his hands tangled in her fine hair. That hair, which flowed through his fingers like a stream, lightened the weight of time with every touch.
Marcus's eyes were fixated on Valeria's face, resting peacefully on the snow-white pillow. The hands that his enemies had feared were now caressing her hair with a touch as gentle as a bird's feather.
"Valeria," he said, his voice calm but inescapable, like the waves beating on the rocks, "when I touch you my weary soul is instantly rejuvenated. I have spent a lifetime between sword and blood, but now for the first time I understand why my heart beats. Your existence is beyond my measure by any victory on the battlefield. You are my peace, my light, and the last miracle the gods have sent me."
Valeria found an echo of honesty and passion in his words.
As Marcus whispered these words, his eyes shone with deep love for Valeria. It was as if a dream otherworldly had come true, loosening the bonds between gods, man, and fate for a moment. In that moment, Valeria’s presence lightened all burdens in Marcus’s world, and the darkness in the room yielded to the light.
#pedro pascal gladiator#marcus acacius#marcus acacius x reader#marcus acacius x you#marcus acacius smut#marcus acacius x female reader#marcus acacius x y/n#marcus acacius angst#forbidden love#pedro pascal x reader#daddy’s babygirl#pedro pascal#pedro pascal smut#joaquin phoenix#gladiator 2#dark desires#commodus#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal x oc#pedro pascal fluff#pedro pascal fanfiction#joel miller x reader
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me after telling him to bounce on it (i’m a female)
#joaquin torres fanfiction#joaquin torres x you#joaquin torres x reader#joaquin torres smut#joaquin phoenix#joaquin torres#danny ramirez smut#danny ramirez#i’m not real what#me when#bounce on it crazy style#nosferatu#you feel me?#mcu#mcu fandom#marvel mcu#mcu fanfiction
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Can you please do Arthur/joker turn on and turn offs HCs? :)
sure thing dear! sorry for the wait, i was @ the hospital for my dads surgery - nothing serious hes fine now :)
anyway i hope u like these hcs :D a little reminder that Arthur and Joker aren't two different persons so i supposed their turn ons and offs werent that different.
Warning: mention of weapons
Arthur's turn on's/off's
• Arthur Fleck is a notoriously insecure man, with peaks of anxiety when something bad happens to him. His childhood traumas and the daily negative interactions with other Gotham citizens make him shut himself in silence and raise walls around to separate him from the world where he can peacefully fantasize about having someone to actually care for him, and praise him for his skills.
• Arthur is very easy to arouse, and not exactly the type for initiating anything; he likes it better when you take the initiative. It makes him feel desired and more attractive than he thinks he is.
• What he loves more than anything is being praised: his mind goes on a frenzy at every time you tell him he's going good, or you compliment his size or his physique.
• Sometimes he'd approach you shirtless and secretly expect you to make compliments to his body, acting so confidently and showing himself off like a piece of art. Your praises instantly turn him on, so for everything he does he istantly shows it to you to get praised, and get that secret shiver down his spine that makes him wander with his imagination.
• Reassurace also makes things easier for him and encourages him to go through with it. Your sweet smiles, kisses and words of reassurance make you gain rougher thrusts and plenty of noises from him.
• Arthur is not a rough sex type: despite his imagination is extremely vivid and he knows enough to imagine a wild pornographic scenario with you, during the act he's way calmer, not having the courage to do more, and any attempt of yours to get rougher with him will instantly shut him down.
• Degradation is absolutely off the table for him: being insulted or humiliated for his manhood size, for his appearance or for any other aspect of his is an instant turn off. Not only, he would get angry and offended: you know too well, after trying to call him a 'fucking asshole' to spice things up. It didn't go well...
• Submission is something else he's attracted to: when some days are rougher than others, he would just want you to take charge of things, to take care of him. Your sweet touch and loving words would imediately send him to Heaven.
Joker's turn on's/off's
• Joker's mindset is slightly different than Arthur's, but since the matrix is the same their kinks don't differ much.
• You can tell when Joker is "out": his voice is lower, huskier, not as soft as when he's the calm and shy Arthur. And, let's say, he's definitely needier.
• Just like Arthur, Joker gets easily aroused by responsiveness: your goosebumps, shivers and whines are an instant turn on for him. His being touchier and teasing your sensitive spots more often than when Arthur does, makes him earn noises and soft sighs from you. Terrific.
• Joker is an absolute sucker for praises too: your noises and words of praise pump his ego up, making him groan and thrust harder inside you.
• He doesn't mind being dominated, but he prefers much more being the one in charge. He would get excited at your weakness under him, and he often restrains you with his hands, pinning your wrists down the mattress or wherever you two are doing it.
• However, he hates when you do it to him. He gets nervous and irritated, and would shout at you, because you would bring old traumas to him by restraining him.
• Aruhr and Joker both love when you praise them, but Joker is even more excited when you mix praises ith degradation: things like "my beautiful bastard" or the use of dirty talking is absolutely on the table.
• During Joker's moments of thirst for blood, for example when he killed Randall, his passion results more dnangerous than usual: he would include his gun during the act, getting turned while aiming at your head, or even better, giving it to you to make you aim at his head. He would close his eyes and smile while moaning and lean his head against the weapon.
tag list: @darknessisafriend @werewolf-and-go-wild @emperor-commodus @indieblair @it-vexes-me @ajokeformur-ray @fly-like-a-phoenix @hebimoonlight @jokerflecker @joaquinisart @callmejokerr @pursuit-of-comedy @five-miles-over
#joaquinphoenix#joaquin phoenix#imagine#jp#scenario#joker headcanons#joker x reader#joker x you#joker movie#arthur fleck x reader#arthur fleck imagine#arthurfleck#headcanons
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🫧 PINK DREAM GANJA QUEEN MASTERLIST 🫧
I will be linking all future works here. You can also find me on Ao3.
Be sure to check back, support, and above all, enjoy!! -Pinkxxx
🩷Arthur Fleck (Joker)
SUBWAY OBSESSIONS (ARTHURS POV)
〰️Chapter 1
〰️Chapter 2
〰️Chapter 3
SUBWAY OBSESSIONS (FEM READERS POV)
〰️Chapter 1
〰️Chapter 2
〰️Chapter 3
🩷Randall Kirkland (From)
〰️Limitations NEW✨️
〰️Focus On Me
🩷Jade Hererra (From)
〰️TBA
🩷Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf)
〰️The Problem With Portals
🩷Homelander (The Boys)
〰️Run Rabbit
Hello, fellow fanfic lovers and writers!
I'm Pinkxxx!! Taurus. Artist. Writer. Stoner. PNW born and raised. Avid hiker. Carl Sagan is my dude! Love looking at the stars any chance I get. I love hello kitty and heavy metal. Helping people for a living during the day, probably writing smut at night.
🎀FAVORITE FANDOMS🎀
-Joker/Arthur Fleck
-The Boys
-From (MGM+)
-Teen Wolf (MTV)
-The Last Of Us
-American Horror Story
-Interview With The Vampire (AMC)
-Twilight
-Beetlejuice
-Scream
-Doctor Who
-The Originals
-House Of The Dragon
-The Vampire Diaries
-True Blood
-Venom
I would love to do some kind of fic for each of these ideally. I am also interested in the more supernatural stuff like the Mothman, Skinwalkers, Slenderman, Ghosts, Cthulhu, and Aliens if that would interest anyone. I might just do it anyway, though tbh. 👀
I am new to tumblr and new to fanfic, so if anyone wants to reach out with comments or tips or just to say hey! I'd love to hear it!
🎀Please be nice.🎀
#arthur fleck smut#arthur fleck fanfic#smut#joker smut#masterlist#pink dream ganja queen#ao3#MDNI#18+ mdni#joaquin phoenix joker#joker 2019#joker folie a deux#homelander smut#the boys#homelander#homelander fanfiction#arthur fleck x fem!reader#arthur fleck x reader#homelander x you#randall kirkland#randall kirkland x fem reader#randall kirkland smut#stiles stilinski#stiles stilinski smut#mtv teen wolf#from mgm#stiles stilinksi x reader
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Little Neighbor | Arthur Fleck & Reader
Warning : Don't copy my writing Don't steal my writing. All rights are reserved for my writing
Genre : Flutter First Met
Summary : The first met with your neighbor Arthur.
Word count : 1.4k
You let out a little sigh from your mouth as You was in the elevator as seem ready to go to the building you lived in
Arthur was your neighbor from two weeks but you never talked to him or met him, You was so busy with your things since you started living in Gotham
The both of you was standing in the electricity but his eyes on you
"You seem new here?" - He begged as he was eyeing you carefully
"Excuse me?" - You asked him calmly as looked at him after waking up from your thoughts
"I mean, yeah, you do seem new here." - He explained as stated clearly
"You are my new neighbor, right?" - He added as he was still looking at you with his pale face
"Yeah I'm here from two weeks" - You replied shortly as seem a little bit shy
"You're a very quiet person. I like that in a person." - He said as he was smiling a little but his white face made it a little bit off puting
And your nod to his words made him feel curious about you because he liked people calm and peaceful like you
"My name is Arthur Fleck it's a pleasure to meet you." - He said to you as held out a pale hand for you to shake
"It's pleasure to you but I don't touch" - You replied politely as waved to him and smiled
"That's fine, anyway are you busy right now?" - He asked you clearly and was just nodding with his head
"No I'm not busy now, Need something?" - You asked him calmly and your word made him smiling
"Would you mind doing a little of chit chat with your new neighbor?" - He replied as sighed as he was trying to talk to you more
"Yeah it would be good since the electricity still working" - You explained calmly and smiled back
"That's good then. I mean, this is an awkward time to become neighbors." - He stated as the lights were still on in this part of town - "So how's your life been? Are you moving here with anyone?" He asked you curiously and was still nodding.
"No I'm alone but my aunt will visit me soon" - You replied calmly and he can noticed honestly in your voice
"I'm also alone. It's just me and my mom." - He whispered softly as he sighed as he was finally finding common ground with you.
You can feel some sadness in the tone of his voice but you decided to not ask him
"So what's your name young lady?" - He asked you but his face was still pale.
"I'm Y/N" - You replied politely as smiling friendly
"That's a beautiful name. It suit you." - He admitted as he was showing a little bit of charm.
He was taking his chance right now to maybe befriend you or hopefully to romance, there's something about you was dropping him to you
And you can feel it too about him he seem so gentle and a man with golden heart but locked and hiding in darkness like a treasure
"I'm going to ask you an awkward question. Would you like to be my friend?" - He asked you as his shiny face was showing a little bit of hope
The both of you was enjoying the silent moment together but still, he was hoping for an answer from you.
"Sound Great" - You replied calmly to him and smiled friendly and you seem comfortable with him
"That's good to hear." - He replied as his face became happy and seem more shiny to you
The light flickered slightly as the both of you was smiling at each other, the silence was a little bit of a weird but still enjoyable moment for both of you as he can studying you and see everything about you
"Would it be wrong if I ask you another awkward question?" - He asked you politely with his white, pale face.
"No it's okay go ahead" - You replied politely, trying to convince him to be completely comfortable
"If you don't mind me asking do you have a boyfriend?" - He asked you as his face turned into a little bit of a disappointment.
He was hoping but he is not that lucky - "You are quite young right? I can tell you're not married or anything right?" - He added as he was trying to see if he have a chance with you.
"Honestly I'm single you know It's hard to live in city like Gotham and it's so hard to find a good man here" - You explained calmly as remembering the rumors about the criminals of Gotham and how everyone can be under control
"Yeah, I mean, Gotham's not a nice place and I completely understand." - Arthur replied as he was still nodding to your words showing how wisdom you are
Then he smiled at you. - "Will it be weird if I ask you one last question?" - He asked you as his curiously face was still waiting for your response
You nodded silently to him allowing him to asking you, you still seem so shy to him and he liked that soft side of you
"Do you mind if we chat somewhere more private?" - Arthur asked you nervously but he was trying to be friendly but you can noticed his nervously
"I mean my house or something. Maybe my mother is home, we could have some snacks." - Arthur added as chuckled as he was rubbing the back of his head by his hand
"It would be great thing to do but it's better to be next time" - You explained calmly and trying to be polite with him
"It's morning and you know everyone had work to get money and live" - You added softly
"Oh, that's ok. I understand. It's kind of a busy day for everyone." - Arthur replied politely as he was nodding with his head to you
Then he sighed with a little bit of disappointment as noticed the elevator doors opened to make the both of you realize it's time to back in reality
"Well, I guess we should go our own ways now. See you around neighbor." - Arthur explained as he seemed like he has something else to say but he just smiled and waved at you.
"See you next time little Neighbor" - You replied as waved to him back and started walking outside the elevator
You called him a little neighbor because the way his eyes was looking at you like a little child inside his soul and his expression showing innocence and gentle heart
That golden heart you're curious to find..
Arthur was quite disappointed with that reply, but still, he was happy since he made a little friendship with someone like you in his place
He smiled at you one last time before the both of you went your ways and disappeared from his eyes by walking away
Arthur went back into his own apartment as he was feeling disappointed now.
Not just because you didn't agree with him and refused his request. It's because he is now thinking about how lonely this world is and how he has no luck in love or a companion for himself
He just walked slowly and sit on his bed and looked at the ceiling silently for a few seconds
"Why does life have to treat me like this. No one even notice me." - Arthur mumbled to himself as he sighed softly
But then he remembered your words to him and it's made him started smiling with himself It made him actually feel like there was someone like you in this world who cared for him and was his new friend
Even if it wasn't in the romantic way. Arthur actually liked being cared for as He was now laying on his bed again and smiling softly and remembering you
He would love to be your friend..your boyfriend..your comedian...your arthur and especially..your
Little Neighbor
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Heartthrob | Arthur Fleck x reader 💗 CHAPTER 14
Summary: Attempting to conceal her checkered past, a young dancer in Gotham (Y/N) lands a job at Ha-Ha’s and finds herself increasingly drawn to a shy, lonely clown named Arthur Fleck.
Warnings: sex, age gap, language, violence, mental illness, assault
Word Count: 3438
Chapter List: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Wayne Manor stood on a huge, sprawling estate. Living in Gotham made it easy to forget that places like this existed in the world. The trees were greener. The streets were so clean, they almost sparkled. There were no sirens, no smell of rotting garbage, no hunched over zombies stumbling in the streets. This part of Long Island was like a little eden - a heaven on earth carved out and carefully guarded by the ultra wealthy.
“This is it,” you breathed as you and Arthur approached the gates. Fortunately, there were no angry dobermans prowling about the grounds today. Only freshly-trimmed grass and the towering mansion in the distance. You wondered if anyone was even home.
Suddenly, Arthur froze in his tracks. “Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
He turned to face you, shoving his hands into his pockets, throwing his eyes to the ground.
“What do you think he’ll say?”
Your heart broke for Arthur all over again. You couldn’t imagine all the emotions that must be careening through him right now.
“Thomas Wayne?” you drew in a breath. “I guess I don’t know what he’ll say. But we’re gonna get an answer out of him one way or another.”
“I just…” Arthur sighed. “I just want him to talk to me. You don’t think that’s too much to ask, is it?”
You reached out and stroked Arthur’s cheek.
“I don’t think so,” you shook your head. “After all, you said your mother’s been writing to him all this time and she hasn't gotten a response. I’m sure the Waynes have people who handle their correspondence - maybe they’ve ignored it or maybe nothing’s gotten through yet. Either way, I know I’d do the same thing if I were in your shoes.”
Arthur looked up at you. Those arresting, green eyes: filled with hope, hurt, anticipation. You said a silent prayer in that moment that whatever happened next, Arthur got the answers he needed. The answers he fucking deserved.
Arthur pulled his hands out of his pockets and clasped them over your wrist. “I’m so glad you’re here, Y/N. If I had to come all by myself, I don’t think I’d have the guts to-”
He stopped, his eyes catching hold of something in the distance.
“What is it?” You turned around. Nothing had moved or changed that you could see. It took you a minute of scanning the surroundings until, finally, you spotted him: a tiny, sad-looking little boy playing all alone on a wooden jungle gym near the front gates. He couldn’t have been more than eight or nine years old.
“I think that’s his son,” you murmured. “I heard about him a couple times in the news.”
“Bruce Wayne,” Arthur said.
“That’s right, Bruce.” You stared at the boy, mystified. There was a distinct melancholy and isolation you could feel radiating off of him, even from so far away.
“He looks so…so…” You struggled to find the words.
“Alone.”
You pursed your lips and looked back at Arthur, nodding. And then another realization dawned on you.
“Oh my God,” you blinked. “If Thomas Wayne really is your father, then that would mean…”
Arthur swallowed, nodding. “I’ve thought about that, too. I know it sounds crazy, but now that I see him…I…”
You waited.
“He reminds me so much of myself when I was a little boy.”
“Oh shit,” you exhaled, looking back at Bruce, then back at Arthur. “I mean…I suppose given what your mother’s said…what do you wanna do, Arthur?”
Arthur took a deep breath and to your surprise, a warm, gently confident smile began to spread across his face.
“I’m gonna go say ‘hi.’”
“Do you want me to come with you?” You wanted Arthur to feel completely supported. You knew that sometimes being supportive looked like coming along, and other times it looked more like hanging back and letting the other person take the lead.
“I think I should do this part myself,” he said. “But I’ll come get you if I need to.”
“I’ll be right here,” you squeezed his hand. “I love-”
Wait, what the hell were you saying? Had you completely taken leave of your senses?
“Uhm,” you cleared your throat. “I love…waiting!” you finished brightly, hoping he’d buy it. “I’ll wait as long as you need and I’ll be right here. Be strong, okay? And if they give you any trouble, call me and…I’ll beat everyone up!”
Arthur smiled, lifted your hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it, sending chills through your entire being. If he’d somehow picked up on your almost-love-confession, he didn’t show it.
Arthur already has enough on his mind right now, you chastised yourself as you watched him approach the gate. He doesn’t need you muddling it further with your irrational emotions.
You couldn’t tell Arthur you loved him now. First of all, it was way too soon.
Second of all…
Well, the second part was embarrassing. And more than a little crazy. You knew your feelings for Arthur were real, but that didn’t stop you from recognizing how intense they were after only knowing him a short time.
So why, then, did it feel like the most natural thing to say? The thing you sensed he needed to hear?
You meandered further up the drive, away from the entrance, giving Arthur his space but staying close enough so you could quickly run to his side if necessary.
It was startlingly quiet here compared to the endless cacophony of Gotham City. So quiet, it felt like if you stopped and listened carefully, you could hear the wind in the trees singing to you.
Despite the peaceful surroundings, however, bitter memories began to weave their way into your mind. You knew a good faction of your former GU classmates hailed from this part of Long Island - hell, some of their families probably even rubbed elbows with the Waynes themselves: probably got invited to their fancy Christmas and New Year’s Eve parties, toasting their continued privilege and fortune over a bottle of champagne that cost more than you made in a month.
You didn’t have anything in common with those people. So how on earth had you found yourself among them in the first place?
The answer was almost annoyingly simple: your parents had drilled the importance of getting an education into you since you were a toddler, telling you it would open doors, get you the better life you deserved…unlike the two of them who’d gotten jobs straight out of high school and lamented nonstop how much the lack of a college education had held them back from their potential.
“Potential,” you muttered to yourself under your breath. That was the word they’d always used and it still left a sour taste in your mouth.
“You have so much potential, Y/N,” they’d always say. “But you can’t let it go to waste. You have to work three times as hard as everyone else in order to realize it.”
You’d believed them - bought their promises hook, line and sinker and dutifully applied yourself like the good little girl you were. The truth was, you’d never quite fit in at Burnley High, either. Most of the kids there dropped out or phoned in the bare minimum to scoot by and pick up a diploma, but you’d been among the top five performers in your graduating class of over 400 students. You’d done the extra work, taken the hardest classes, stayed home and sacrificed any semblance of a normal teenage social life to mold yourself into the high-achieving student your family wanted you to be.
And it had paid off. At least for a brief moment in time. When the letter from Gotham University arrived saying you’d gotten in with a full scholarship, you’d cried tears of joy. Your mother had cried. Your father said he was proud of you. He never said things like that.
You remembered back to that day: the teary-eyed seventeen year old girl holding an acceptance letter in her sweaty, trembling hands like a golden badge of honor. That badge represented everything you’d worked your entire life for, everything you’d ever wanted: Validation. Recognition. Belonging.
Belonging. Yes, back then, that same girl believed she was finally being admitted through the golden gates to a place she belonged. You’d been naive enough to assume that at college you’d encounter more people like yourself, people who came from nothing but made amazing things happen through hard work and belief in themselves.
But Gotham U had been nothing like you’d expected.
Yes, the students were bright, but the vast majority were also spoiled and entitled. They seemed to take their enrollment at the school for granted, and the fact that their parents paid their tuition in full (were able to pay it in the first place) didn’t in any way accelerate their work ethic. These were kids whose parents owned country houses, summer houses and yachts. Kids who went to horseback riding camp every summer since they were six, learned how to ski when they were four, took vacations over spring break to places like Paris or Barcelona or the Hamptons.
You’d never even ridden on an airplane.
How ignorant that girl with the acceptance letter was, you mused. The dream of being a student at Gotham University had powered everything you’d worked for the first 17 years of your life…and all too late turned into a horrible nightmare.
“Potential.” What did it mean now? Of course, your parents were still holding out hope you’d eventually return to GU. But GU was just like the Waynes themselves: they wanted to portray themselves as a beacon of magnanimity and altruism, but when it came to actually stepping up and doing the right thing, their interests lay solely with themselves and their ability to maintain wealth and power. When the cards were down, a poor scholarship girl from Burnley High didn’t qualify for basic human consideration. And your biggest mistake was believing that they ever would.
After all the unpleasantness that had occurred towards the end of your first year - the school’s administration “generously” forcing you to take medical leave or be expelled - you’d started to believe you didn’t belong anywhere. You didn’t see a future for yourself anymore. And feeling this way not only made you incredibly sad, but it scared you.
But all that had started to change since meeting Arthur. Arthur, you imagined, who right now was probably feeling the same way you had on the first day of freshman orientation: Hoping, with the most optimistic part of his heart, that he just might find the love and acceptance he’d yearned for for so long.
But was life on the other side of those golden gates all that Arthur imagined it could be?
Suddenly, you felt extremely protective of him. You knew it was inappropriate to eavesdrop, but who were you kidding? Just the thought of Arthur going through something similar to your experience at that school was unthinkable. You tiptoed closer - not close enough to be spotted, but close enough to give yourself the best chance of overhearing…well, spying.
“Bruce! What are you doing?” Another man’s voice shot out accusingly over the quiet. “Get away from that man.”
Shit. Not good. Your heart started to race.
Please, you prayed, please don’t be assholes.
You realized almost immediately how useless such a plea was. These were the Waynes, after all.
“It’s okay,” you heard Arthur respond. “I’m a good guy.”
Resisting the urge to race to Arthur’s side took every inch of self control in your body. You reminded yourself that he’d wanted to do this alone. You wanted to respect that. Arthur could hold his own. He was a strong person, deep down. And dealing with rudeness was nothing he wasn’t accustomed to.
But if they were complete assholes to him, you didn’t know how much you could tolerate.
You crept even closer, still hidden behind the giant shrubs that surrounded the estate. The other voice couldn’t belong to Thomas Wayne, you reasoned. Thomas Wayne didn’t have an English accent.
“Can you tell Mr. Wayne that I need to see him?” Arthur asked.
At that moment, the wind picked up, compromising your ability to hear as clearly as before. You cursed under your breath, cupping your hand to your ear.
“...your mother was a sick woman,” you heard the other man say to Arthur in the coldest, most unfeeling tone imaginable. “She was delusional.”
Your jaw dropped. Your right hand fell from your ear and twisted reflexively into a fist.
“Don’t say that,” you growled under your breath.
Exactly who the fuck did these people think they were? Couldn’t they put themselves in another person’s shoes for just one fucking second? If the roles were reversed, wouldn’t they want the same answers? Didn’t everyone deserve that?
Deep breaths, Y/N, you told yourself. Deep breaths.
“Just go,” the man’s cruel, disdainful voice echoed up the drive. “Before you make a bigger fool of yourself.”
That did it. Fuck the deep breaths. Fuck taking the high road. And fuck this rude asshole.
The entire world blurred into raging red as you found yourself barreling like a fiery cannonball down the drive to Arthur’s side, ready to fight, to climb those gates like an acrobat and beat the living hell out of that asshole - any anyone else who wanted some, too.
How dare he talk to Arthur Fleck, your Arthur Fleck, that way?
When you rounded the corner, you were surprised and more than a little satisfied to see that Arthur had already reached through the gates and grabbed the dude by his collar, holding him in a semi-chokehold.
“Kick his ass!” you cried out. “Kick his motherfucking ass!”
The rude man’s eyes darted to you, filled with surprise, confusion, fear. And the inability to utter another word for lack of oxygen.
Good.
You pulled your right arm back and swung through the gates with all your strength, punching him square across the face while Arthur held him in place. The man’s nose started bleeding and you smiled. Your anger made you strong, increased your strength exponentially in the moments you needed it most. Though you’d never admit it to anyone, it was one of the things you actually liked about this part of yourself that you were supposed to reject, to work so hard to rid yourself of.
You liked feeling strong in a world where everyone was more than happy to step and walk all over you without a second thought. And you were tired of pretending you didn’t.
Arthur was a slight, diminutive man, but his anger made him strong, too. He had the asshole so tight by the collar, it looked like his face was turning red.
You were winding up, about to strike again when you suddenly registered the face of the sad little boy from before. Standing off to the side, he was now a very scared-looking little boy; frozen like a little Bambi fawn, eyes wide, terrified.
Terrified…of you. Of the both of you.
Those bewildered eyes were enough to stop you in your tracks. All at once, common sense and empathy rushed back into your heart like an ocean wave. As much as this surly jackass deserved a beatdown, you knew you’d never forgive yourself for permanently traumatizing a defenseless little kid.
Even if he was a Wayne.
As though he’d come to the same realization at the same exact moment, Arthur released the man just as you stopped yourself from throwing another, harder, right hook. The jerk fell backwards, clutching at his crumpled collar, and Arthur grabbed your arm. Without exchanging a word, you raced back up the drive together, running like two gazelles as fast as your feet could carry you.
The next few minutes were a continued blur. Wayne Manor receded further and further into the background as you drew closer to the train station. You’d been too afraid to turn back and see if anyone was chasing you, but by now the adrenaline was wearing off, and your legs felt like they could give out at any second.
“Arthur, wait!” you stopped, breathlessly, reaching out to grab him by the sleeve. Mustering up the courage to look back, you were relieved to see you hadn’t been followed. You’d managed to escape by the skin of your teeth.
“I think we’re in the clear,” you gasped for air.
Arthur stopped and turned to face you, panting. “Are you alright, Y/N? Are you hurt?”
“I’m fine,” you shook your head. “I’m so sorry, Arthur. This is all my fault.”
A confused look came across his face and he took both your hands into his. “What do you mean?”
“I went crazy again. I werewolfed! I didn’t mean to, it's just…” your eyes filled with tears, realizing all too late of course, that the last thing you’d wanted in accompanying Arthur today was to do anything that would ultimately result in making it harder for him to get the answers he needed.
How could you have let this happen?
Arthur held up a hand to stop you. “I went crazy first,” he pointed out.
“Well, yeah, you grabbed the guy,” you conceded. “But I’m the one who made his nose bleed, for God’s sake! I never would’ve done it if I knew the kid was watching.” You shook your head, tears filling your eyes. “I shouldn’t have gotten involved…”
“No, Y/N,” Arthur squeezed your hands in his. “I’m glad you were there. I didn’t wanna scare the little boy, either. Seeing him brought me back to myself. I know what it’s like to be scared at that age…scared and helpless…”
Arthur’s words made the tears you’d been fighting swell over and you fell into his arms.
“It’s okay, Y/N. Shh, come here.” Arthur pulled you into a tight embrace against his chest.
“I didn’t mean to scare him,” you sobbed into his shoulder. “I’m a bad person, Arthur. I’m awful.”
“That’s not true!” he protested. “Why are you saying that?”
He stepped back and tried to look you in the eye, but you were too ashamed to face him. The mean, inner voice you’d suffered with in secret since you were a little kid had taken over and had you in its iron grip of shame:
You don’t deserve to be loved.
You’re defective.
You’re worthless.
You’re awful.
“It’s okay, Y/N,” Arthur whispered into your hair. “I understand. I understand what you’re feeling. But it’s not true. Whatever you’re telling yourself right now is not true.”
You cried harder into his embrace. You might have known he’d understand. You’d found the one person in the world who felt what you felt - or at least the one person brave enough to admit to it.
“Please don’t cry, Y/N.” You could feel Arthur’s heart pounding against your ears. “You're not a bad person,” he murmured into your hair. “You’re anything but a bad person.”
“But I messed everything up. Like I always do.”
“You stopped yourself from taking things further,” Arthur pointed out. “We both did. That means something.”
“But how are you gonna find out if Thomas Wayne’s your father now?” you wailed. “How are you gonna get your answers?”
“We’ll figure something out,” Arthur reassured you. “I don’t want you worrying about that.”
Arthur brought his hands to your face, cradling it. You looked up into his shining, green eyes, tenderness emanating from them. His fingers gently stroked back your hair, wiped away your tears.
“You need to breathe, Y/N. Can you take a deep breath?”
He breathed with you. In and out. And in and out again. Finally, you felt your pulse begin to slow, the maddening blur of self-hatred and negative vitriol shift from a wild gallop to a trot. It was a small change, but enough to allow you to start feeling human again.
Arthur stepped back and a small, shy smile spread across his face.
“Thank you, Y/N,” he said.
You wiped your nose, bewildered. “‘Thank you’? For what?”
“For coming here with me. For standing up for me the way you have. No one’s ever done anything like that for me before.”
“But, Arthur, I-”
“If you hadn’t been there for me, I’d be all alone right now,” he interjected. “Like I’ve been all my life. But I’m not alone anymore. Because of you.”
His shy smile shifted into a sly grin. He placed a soft kiss on your cheekbone.
“I love you, too,” he whispered, before tenderly bringing his mouth to yours.
Thank you for reading and for all the sweet, encouraging comments! I have struggled to write this as of late, but I'm committed to finishing this story and can't wait to share the rest of it with you. I hope you enjoy this latest chapter.
xx ghastella
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A VICTOR, part two - Commodus
𓃮 emperor commodus x fem!reader 𓃭 masterlist. part one | part two | part three (final) 𓃮 warnings: small scene of violence towards reader (not by commodus) 𓃭 As a longtime and loyal servant working in the underbelly of the palace, your emergence into the light catches the attention of the emperor.


Days turned into a week, and then another, and another – blending everything. It had been almost a month since your invitation to Commodus’ chambers. The morning after you had feared the inevitable. Like all the other women he sent away, you would go too. However, such was not the case. Not only had you remained at the palace, but it had now become a nightly routine.
After cleaning the kitchen at the end of the day, you would hastily make your way to his chambers. There, he would have you eat; knowing that you had little during your day of work. In the beginning, he would speak to you about random topics all in what you concluded was an effort to distract himself. Over time, he would begin to speak about his duties and frustrations regarding the senate. You understood that all he wanted was someone to listen.
All that was required of you was to offer words of comfort. You learned quickly that if you were to even slightly defend the senate and any of the senator's words, he would grow cold and become shut off for the rest of the evening; yet still did not wish for you to leave.
You still had no idea of his intentions, but had decided that for now, you were safe. At least, as safe as you could be – given Commodus’ well-known tendency to lash out. You had not been on the receiving end, nor would you ever try and bring it on. You were not stupid. The day after you told Commodus the identity of the servant that hurt your arm, that servant was never seen again. Simply, you provided him company which appeared to please and soothe him.
Unfortunately, your duties had begun to slip. He had started to demand attention outside of the times of dusk until dawn. He wanted more attention and more of your focus. A natural consequence was rushing to finish your work. Scrubbing would be abandoned, some dishes would not be cleaned, and candles in other chambers would not be lit. If the other servants noticed it, they did not vocalize it.
At first, some of the women wanted information regarding your first night with the emperor. They poked and prodded for any ounce of knowledge, but you remained steadfast in guarding the emperor’s secret. They all drew their own conclusions that you had slept with him, which was far from the truth, but a surprising event was the fact that you were not shunned and cast aside. Instead of a single night, they watched you go back every night since; now watching the emperor himself seek you out during the day. Whispers carried, but none wanted to be caught gossiping about the emperor. Should they choose to, their life could be forfeit.
And so, your life carried on as though this was normal – as though this has been routine for years.
You had been in one of the many spare rooms, wiping up some dust that had accumulated on a ledge with a small cloth when the door to the side opened. Before you could turn around, you felt arms come and wrap around your stomach. The sudden touch almost made you drop the cloth. The familiar scent of parchment and burning wood entered your senses and you immediately knew it was Commodus.
He buried his head into your exposed neck and let out a long sigh. You felt his muscles relax as he leaned closer to you. By the sound of his sigh, he was in one of his irritated moods; often brought on by a difficult time with his duties. You made a move to turn around, but his grip got tighter and his lips brushed over the juncture between your neck and shoulder causing you to freeze. He had, in passing a few times, gently kissed your shoulders or cheek, but never had he been so bold in his movements.
“Is everything all right, Caesar?” You questioned.
Commodus shook his head against you and murmured, “What have we talked about?”
“Of course,” You responded, “Is everything alright, Commodus?” Still, even a month in, it was sometimes difficult to address him by his name. However, his insistence was what brought you to heel.
“No,” He breathed out on your skin, the action sending warmth from the area straight to your stomach, “They undermine me again.”
“It is likely because they feel inferior to you,” One time, you had tried to defend the senators, but that only worsened his mood. You had learned the words that pleased him the most and gradually began to believe them as fact; an inner displeasure towards the senators you had never even met started to take root.
“I don’t wish to speak of it,” Very slowly, he began to place featherlight kisses on your neck with one of his hands reaching up to gently pull back the fabric on your shoulder to give him more access, “What are you up to?”
He often wished to hear you speak of monotonous things, letting himself sink into your presence and voice. It calmed him and in a sense, it calmed you as well.
“I am only cleaning,” You began to speak, but found it difficult to focus on thinking when his hand that was wrapped around your stomach began to move in massaging patterns and his lips continued to assail your neck and only got more intense.
“Cleaning?” Commodus spoke between his kisses. His voice was disconnected, entirely focused on his current task, “Sounds interesting,” He joked as he nipped at your skin. The action caused you to drop the cloth in your hand and let out a gasp.
Commodus lifted his head and looked at the ground where the cloth fell, “Ah, it appears you have finished and are no longer busy,” Despite not seeing his face, you could tell there was a faint smile on his lips. He quickly spun you around in his arms, letting out a laugh at your dishevelled state. Red had made its way from your face to your upper chest, a sight that always amused him.
“Commodus,” You scolded.
His gaze darkened and his grip on your waist tightened, “Say it again.” You paused for a moment, wondering if that had angered him, but found no trace of annoyance on his face. However, the heavy look he had in his eye was like a man starved. It caught you off guard.
“Commodus,” You whispered. That seemed to please him and he pulled you flush against his chest and began to kiss your jaw. His lips trailed down your jaw and towards your chin before moving up to capture your lips in a searing kiss. It was greedy and raw, but stirred unknown feelings in the pit of your stomach; a frantic flutter that would not go away. He had only ever given you gentle pecks on the cheek or shoulder, this was entirely new and you wondered what brought on such a craving.
He pushed you backwards until your back hit one of the pillars. The marble was cold, shocking you for a moment due to the contrast of the heat of Commodus’ body. Yet, there was something about this that felt good; felt oddly right despite its unholy nature. He continued to kiss you, a mix of hunger and impatience wrapped in heated excitement. It made your knees feel weak and had your mind go fuzzy until all it could focus on was him.
A small moan clawed its way from your throat that quickly made a groan fall from his lips. Commodus pulled away abruptly and looked at you through heavy-lidded eyes. You recognized the look of calculation on his face. It was the same one he got when he came to moments of clarity; the slight widening of his eyes, the lines between his eyebrows crease, and his lips twitch almost imperceptibly. He had thought of something in that moment and it appeared to shake him.
As if burned, Commodus pulled away. The contrast between his now reserved nature to his openness just seconds before nearly whipped your head into a frenzy. He looked almost… unsure.
“There are duties I must tend to.” He cut your meeting off short, giving a curt nod and speeding out of the room. His clothing billowed as he moved and you could do nothing but stand there and watch his back as he left.
As he fled from your presence, disappointment flooded your body and you could not help but wonder what it was in that moment that shocked him so greatly.
You had been making your way to your room to finish weaving a carpet for one of the guest rooms when your master, Attius, turned down onto the corridor you were in. Upon spotting you, he lifted his hand to command you to stop. Instantly, your body ceased its movements, eyes flickering like the torches that lined the space. You waited as Attius got closer and held your mouth shut; he hated when spoken to first.
He stopped short just in front of you, “You have been neglectful in your duties.” It was not a question to wonder what was happening, but a statement. He did not care about any excuse, but you tried to plead your case anyway.
“The Caesar has been wishing for more of my attention-” He cut you off.
“So it’s the emperor’s fault that you have failed your work?” Attius crossed his arms and stood closer to you, towering over your figure.
“N-no, master, that is not what I meant-”
“Then why do you bring it up?” His tone came across as condescending and rhetorical. You sucked in a breath at his growing aggressive posture and chose to submit, lest you incur his wrath.
“I will try and do better, master.” You bowed your head in submission.
“You will not try, you will do better.” He used his forefinger to lift your chin so you could look right at him and he lowered his voice, “It would be a displeasure to hurt such a pretty face.” He quickly retracted his hand and continued down the corridor, casually as if the threat was a regular occurrence. It was, but you had largely managed to dodge it for most of your life. Unfortunately, it appears patience for you has worn thin. You gulped some air into your mouth, just noticing that you had held your breath through his threat.
It was not until he turned down at the end of the hallway and left your sight that you felt you could move. It was as if released from a spell. You shook off the fear and moved in the opposite direction to your room. It was only a few doors down.
Entering the room, your eyes saw a small space. It was all stone and had some open-air windows at the upper parts of the wall, as the rest was underground, that cast some golden light from the sun into the space. In the corner was a woven mat that you slept on. Thankfully, despite your status as a slave, you and your mother were able to keep some items when going into servitude – a privilege not afforded to most. Because of that, there were pillows and animal skins that lined the space, making the floor mat more comfortable to sleep on.
It was where you sat down to continue the final details of finishing up the carpet you had been working on for one of the guest apartments. Time passed in a way that was unknown to you. The light got brighter, signalling that the sun was setting and the angle hit just the right spot to come flooding into your room. It was fairly warm, given that the cool ground normally fended most of the heat off.
You were lost in your work, singing to yourself gently as you were trying off some pieces of fabric when your door opened. Looking up, you saw Commodus standing there. He had never come down to the lower levels of the palace before. His eyes scanned your room, taking note of what little possessions you were granted.
“Commodus,” You spoke and got his attention. Seeing the tired look on his face, you became sympathetic, “What has happened?” What you really wanted to ask was what happened when he left you so abruptly earlier that day, but knew it was an answer you would have to wait for.
“Damn the senate,” He mumbled as he closed your door and made his way to where you sat. You scooted over to make room and he settled amongst the pillows and animal furs behind you. Commodus placed his chin on your shoulder, looking over and down at the work you were doing. His arms wrapped around you and pulled your back to be flush against his chest while his legs lay bent at the knees on either side of you.
Being cocooned in his warmth was something you had begun to get used to and dreaded the day it would go away. That negative voice in your head always reminded you that soon he will get tired of this, of you.
Commodus looked at the various details on the carpet, spotting a small image, “A tiger?”
“Yes,” You affirmed and ran your hand along the woven design, “I like tigers.” He moved his chin from your shoulder and replaced it with his mouth, his nose peeking over. He inhaled deeply and sighed.
“Have you ever seen my tigers in the games?” He asked. You could feel his lips moving against your shoulder as he spoke.
“Once. I’m always too busy with my duties that I never have much spare time.” Your fingers tied off two pieces of fabric and moved on to the next bit of work. Commodus focused his attention on you, his hand brushing away your hair behind your ear and down your back, exposing your neck.
He rested his head back on your shoulder and watched as you skillfully continued your work. Minutes passed in silence and you decided to hum a tune knowing it would make him happy. His fingers traced patterns on your stomach and you tried with all your might not to focus on it or you would melt into his arms. You had to finish this piece soon or Attius may use it as an excuse to reign down on you with anger.
In the haze of relaxation, Commodus spoke gently, “Do you ever think about doing other things with your life?”
His question came out of nowhere and left you wondering about his true intentions to ask such a thing. It was not something you ever thought about, nor cared to think about. This was your life, always and forever. There was no freedom given to a servant and such wishful thinking would only worsen your state.
“I am good at what I do and I am honoured to serve the empire.” You responded. Yet, your answer did not seem to fully please him and he sighed.
“What if there were other ways you could serve?” You did not understand Commodus’ mode of thinking, nor would you ever begin to try. In the time spent together, you learned he can often be unpredictable.
“There is no other way I would wish to serve.” You reasoned. He hummed at that answer and brushed your shoulder before leaving a quick kiss over the fabric. His hand reached out to grip your chin gently, his thumb brushing over the skin in calm movements. Commodus looked you in the eyes.
“Whatever you wish. Whatever you desire. State it.” You caught on to his unspoken words. Commodus wished for you to confess something you were not entirely sure of; confess you felt for him beyond a silly companionship. There were two paths set out for you.
The first path was to deny. Deny that you have feelings for him and continue these little trysts. Hope that they continue for as long as they can and pray for mercy should he get bored of you. If you were lucky, you would end up like the previous women who shared a night with him and lose your position at the palace and be moved somewhere else – to some other rich person’s dwellings. It would not be so bad at the end of it all and you would have shared something special with someone; a moment of shared camaraderie on a level you never expected to have in your life.
The second path was the one you wished to run down. You could say it there. Confess that your heart beats faster when he walks into a room. That now your favourite time of the day was visiting him in his chambers, talking, and falling asleep in one another’s arms. You wanted to say that each time he kissed you, it was like you were tasting Elysium. There was nothing else you wished to spend your days than in his arms.
But that second path was even more unpredictable and greater than that; nothing but a stupid fantasy.
Your place was as a servant, a slave. You were worth less than a single buckle on his clothing.
That was why you gave him a soft smile to pretend everything was okay and recite words that felt like a stab in your heart, “I am content with my life. I would wish for nothing to change.”
His face remained neutral, not giving away the same feeling you were experiencing: the sheer weight of his heart being crushed. He nodded and looked back at the carpet on the floor. His chin balanced on your shoulder and he appeared done with this conversation.
You immediately wanted to take back your words. You wanted to scream out an answer, shout out the feelings that had been brewing in your body since he first summoned you into his room. You cared for him, you yearned for him. In some insane, unpredictable way, you believed you were beginning to love him.
However it was futile, it was all too unlikely to end up well.
And so you worked in silence with nothing but the steady rise and fall of his chest against your back and the rhythmic movements of your hands as they crafted; wishing, hoping, dreaming it could all be different.
The day had ended quickly with the beautiful soft glow of a setting sun. That evening you had dived into your work in the kitchens, cooking and forgetting about your troubles. For a brief time, it worked. However, every little thing began to remind you of him. The food that would be served to him, the colour of the olives not even coming close to the vibrancy of his eyes, even the taste of figs did not come close to the sweetness of his lips. Upon that realization, you had the urge to throw the bowl of figs at a wall but resisted.
Commodus was so frustratingly consuming. He had made a home in you, wedged his way into the crevices of your skin and stuck to your bones until it was him that made your body move; made your body get up in the morning and decide to continue.
That damned man. Why did he ever invite you into his room in the first place?
The kitchen had long cleared out and you were now calm and eager to finish the last of the cleanup. You moved around the space on nothing but muscle memory, totally focused on the tasks that needed to be done. You were so focused, that you failed to see Attius lingering in the doorway, observing your movements.
A few pots you were balancing fell to the ground and you moved to pick them up. Your knees hit the ground and you began to stack them. Sandaled feet moved into your vision and you halted your movements. Gradually, your vision moved upwards from your crouched position and you saw Attius staring down at you. His face was set into a scowl and his eyes were full of scrutiny.
“You have failed me,” His voice broke you from your shock. You made a move to get up, but he held his hand out as a command for you to stay down, “You said you would get better, but your work has slacked more. That makes me angry… and you know what happens to those that make me angry.”
“I’m sorry, master, truly. I-”
“I wish not to hear your excuses. How do you think such actions should be punished, hm?” Attius leaned back on one foot and tilted his head.
The thought of begging made you want to hurl. You would sooner wish to spit at his feet than plead for mercy, but there was no other way for you to get out of this. Your head hung low, bowed towards him.
“Master, I humbly ask for mercy for my transgressions,” You put on the kindest tone you could, voice dripping in false sincerity.
He bent over and gripped your chin to look up at him. He slowly made you rise to your feet, giving you a soft expression – a stark contrast to his personality just seconds ago. Once you had stood up, he still kept your chin in his hand.
“You have always been such a good worker, just like your mother.” His words reassured you, if only for a moment, “Which is why this will hurt me just as much as it hurts you, but nothing must go unpunished.”
The momentary ounce of relief you had washed away immediately. Before you could respond, a sharp stinging sensation hit your cheek and almost knocked you over. You hunched slightly and raised a hand to cover your cheek and recognized that he had hit you.
You tried to back up and get away, but his hand reached out and gripped your tunic. He pulled you close to his face and whispered with unconcealed anger, “You will learn to obey.”
Each light dab against your cheekbone felt like needles piercing skin. You had endured Attius’ rage and had now spent the last hour in a small room where the slave healer lived. Cassius was an aging and withered man, unable to participate in heavy labour and had since taken it upon himself to aid the other servants when they became injured. He was kind and attentive to everyone and you remembered him healing your mother many times as a girl.
After Attius had beaten you, you managed to crawl on your hands and knees down the hall and towards Cassius’ room. He immediately took you in and began assessing the damage. A large bruise had begun to form on your face that spanned from your cheekbone to the top of your temple on your right side. Your arms and legs were littered with other matching bruises, but what hurt most of all was your stomach which had been kicked multiple times.
All of your wounds had been treated, save for a split lip and the bruise on your face which was now being assessed.
“Some of the bruises should only take two weeks to heal, as they are not too terrible. The one on your stomach will likely take longer.” Cassius informed you as he pulled away from cleaning your face and put his blood-stained rag down.
You let out a sigh, brain overwhelmed with information. Yet, all you could think about was Commodus and what he would think. You were already worried that any day he could grow bored and send you away – this would only solidify it. If you were covered in bruises, why would he ever find you attractive enough to keep? He would become tired of you before you could heal.
Deep down, you wanted to think it would be different, but insecurities had always held a vice-like grip on your heart.
“He can’t know,” You whispered to yourself.
“Who can’t know?” Cassius questioned.
You rested your hands on your knees, “The emperor. He cannot know or he will send me away.” For a moment, you two were silent with nothing but a single flickering torch lighting the room. You knew you needed to bide time to heal. If there was a good enough explanation, a proper excuse, you could heal and pretend nothing had happened.
That night, you were supposed to visit Commodus like every night prior. Except you could not this time and needed to figure out a plan.
“Say that I am sick,” You got Cassius’ attention, “Inform him that I am ill and can not be visited by anyone out of risk of spread.”
“You are asking me to lie to the emperor,” He confirmed. The way he framed it like that had you understanding the severity of it all. You were asking him to risk possibly his own life to cover up your injuries.
“I’m sorry, Cassius. I should have never suggested it.” You let out a low sigh and stared off into the corner of the small room. You needed to come up with another plan quickly before Commodus began to wonder where you were.
“I will do it,” He broke the silence, “I only hope you know what you are doing.”
You wanted to leap out of your chair and hug him but restrained yourself. It would only make your body hurt more. You nodded in thanks to him. The pain had begun to set in as the adrenaline wore off and you found it difficult to move without causing enough pain to nearly immobilize your body.
“Stay here for a while and rest. I will go and inform him of your absence.” Cassius opened his door and closed it gently, leaving you to sit with your thoughts.
Your life, in only a few short weeks, had changed drastically from the regular routine you had come to love. The world you had grown up in was blending with a world you never should have touched in the first place. Yet you could not imagine it any other way, nor wanted to forget the memories you had made.
Deeply, you wanted to think that your time with Commodus was more than temporary, but the lingering thoughts in your brain forced you to look at it negatively. With your feigned sickness, you could perhaps hope he forgets about you and does not have you sent away. Already you could barely handle severing your life from his – it hurt your heart more than the bruises on your body. Perhaps, if he forgot about you, you could still remain in the palace and not lose everything you had ever known.
You leaned back in the chair and stared into the open flame of the torch, seemingly wishing that the fire could consume you whole. It would not hurt as nearly as the cracks deepening in your heart.
taglist: @scrumptiousloser
#emperor commodus#gladiator#commodus imagine#commodus fanfic#commodus fanfiction#joaquin phoenix#commodus x reader#commodus x you#gladiator 2000
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‼️ CLOSED ‼️
It's time!! Thank you to all the likes and reblogs I still get on all my Joker things! I'm excited to add more to what I already have! If you all were here like 500 followers ago, you know the drill:
One reblog is one entry! One like is one entry! Each person can only get TWO possible entries!
There will be three winners!
First Place: A self-insert. Not just the regular reader inserts that I usually write, tell me as much about yourself as you feel comfortable giving away and I will write a story personalized just for you :)
Second Place: An imagine. Much shorter than the self-insert (my max for this will probably be around 400-500 words) and this one will also be personalized if you want!
Third Place: A set of headcanons! This one will also be personalized but much shorter
I WILL write anything NSFW (smut, violence, etc.) but if I do not feel comfortable with a request I WILL NOT write it!
As of now, I write for THESE specific Jokers:
Ledger’s Joker (The Dark Knight)
Jerome and Jeremiah Valeska (Gotham)
Arthur Fleck (Joker)
If there is a Joker you want that isn’t listed just ask me and we can talk about it :))
If you’d like a story for something other than Joker CHECK HERE to see what other fandoms I will write for!
If you happen to like the shows Helluva Boss & Hazbin Hotel, feel free to try your hand at that giveaway too! You CAN win here and there if you're lucky!
This giveaway starts today (June 24th, 2024) and ENDS on Thursday (July 4th, 2024) at 12 p.m. (EST)!
Everyone who enters will be put into a generator and that’s how I will choose the winners!
Good luck and thank you all!!!
#give away#follower give away#the joker fanfiction#joker fanfiction#joker x reader#the joker x reader#ledger joker x reader#ledger joker#arthur fleck x reader#arthur fleck#joaquin phoenix joker#jerome valeska x reader#jerome valeska#jeremiah valeska x reader#jeremiah valeska#gotham imagine#joker x you#dc joker#gotham x reader#mgwrites#gotham fanfiction#heath ledger joker
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Hi there, honey! Y'know what? I was thinking about our dear Bobby Green, and how underrated he is and that we have just a few fics about him. How about a smut about him in his cop state and a little pissed off because of an unsolved case, taking his girlfriend (Y/N) in his car and playing with the handcuffs at her wish, sort of that? Thank you!
I am so sorry for the time it took me to answer your request T_T but I hope you and others will enjoy it <3 Bobby is indeed so underrated !
**Brooklyn, 1989**
The police station air was thick with cigarette smoke and frustration. Bobby leaned over his desk, one hand gripping a half-empty coffee cup, the other rubbing his temple. The case file in front of him was a mess...witness statements that contradicted each other, surveillance photos that told him nothing, and a suspect list that was too damn short. A drug bust gone sideways, a key informant shot dead, and the scumbags responsible still nowhere to be found.
His colleagues had warned him; cases like this had a way of eating at you, crawling under your skin until they felt personal. But Bobby was already there, knee-deep in it, his patience worn thin.
“Bobby.” A voice cut through his thoughts. It was one of the rookies, wide-eyed and nervous. “Cap wants to see you.”
Bobby exhaled sharply, shutting the file with more force than necessary. “Yeah, yeah. Tell him I’m comin’.”
He pushed back his chair, grabbed his leather jacket off the backrest, and threw it on. Whatever the captain had to say, Bobby wasn’t in the mood for another lecture on procedure. He needed a break. More than that, he needed a distraction.
And he knew exactly where to find one.
Bobby hopped in his car. The captain was used to his need to vent, his unconventional way of working. And there was nothing he could say about it; Bobby needed this too much. After a half-hour drive, Bobby’s tires screeched as he pulled up outside your apartment, his grip still tight on the wheel. The inside of the car smelled like cigarettes and worn leather, the tension from the precinct still sitting heavy in his chest. He ran a hand down his face, exhaling hard.
A few seconds later, the passenger door opened. You slid in, your perfume cutting through the smoke scent in the car, something soft and familiar that made his jaw unclench just a little.
“Hey, handsome,” you murmured, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek. He let you, but he didn’t kiss back. Not yet.
You pulled back, reading him in that way you always did, eyes flicking over his face. “Long day?”
Bobby huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, somethin’ like that.” He started driving, one hand on the wheel, the other drumming against his thigh.
You watched him for a beat. “You gonna tell me about it?”
“Nah.” His voice was rough, edged with something he wasn’t ready to let go of yet. “Nothin’ you need to worry about.”
You didn’t push. You never did. Instead, you reached out, fingers light on his forearm, tracing over the veins there. A small, teasing touch. “You’re tense.”
Bobby smirked, shaking his head again. “No shit.”
You grinned, letting your nails scrape lightly against his skin. “Maybe I could help with that.”
He glanced at you, finally, eyes dark under the glow of the passing streetlights. “Yeah?”
Your lips curled. “Yeah.”
And then, quieter, more deliberate…
“You still got those handcuffs?” you asked, detailing him in his uniform. If there was one thing exciting about his change of life, it was his uniform, he was terribly sexy in it.
Bobby let out a slow breath through his nose, his fingers tightening around the wheel.
Shit.
"You know me. If we start that way, you won't be able to stop me." He warned you. When he was in that kind of mood, better leave him alone or let him do whatever he needed to do.
"Who said I wanted you to stop, Officer Green?" you replied, your hand traveling down his thigh and squeezing it. His eyes glanced at your hand, his pupils dilating with desire.
"Bobby, look at the road!" you suddenly exclaimed, catching the lights of a car passing close, making him pull on the wheel to correct the car's path.
"Fuck, that was a close one!" he burst out laughing, shaking his head as he steadied the car. "You're gonna get in trouble, sweetheart." Even though he had become a cop, he still had that hint of craziness; that man who enjoyed having fun and took nearly nothing seriously except you.
"Am I, Officer?" You grinned, leaning back against your seat and biting your lower lip as you detailed him suggestively.
Bobby let out a rough chuckle, shaking his head as he flicked the turn signal and pulled the car into a quiet side street. The tires crunched against the pavement as he eased the car to a stop, throwing it into park. The street was dimly lit, empty except for the soft hum of the city in the distance.
He turned toward you, one arm draped lazily over the wheel, the other reaching out to trace his fingers along your jaw. "You keep runnin' that mouth, sweetheart, and you're gonna see just how much trouble you can get into."
Your breath hitched, but you held his gaze, tilting your chin up defiantly. "Maybe that's exactly what I want."
Bobby hummed, low and amused, before his fingers trailed lower, ghosting over your throat, then down your arm. "Yeah?"
You nodded, a slow, deliberate movement. "Yeah." His hand dipped toward his belt, where the cool metal of his handcuffs gleamed under the faint glow of the streetlight. He let his fingers brush over them, teasing. "Then maybe I oughta do somethin’ about that."
The way he looked at you, dark, hungry, sent a shiver down your spine. You swallowed, pulse quickening, anticipation thick between you.
"Then do it," you whispered, a challenge laced in your tone.
Bobby's smirk deepened as he reached for the cuffs, the click of metal loud in the quiet car. "You asked for it, sweetheart." And just like that, his frustration from the precinct faded, replaced by something else entirely, a way to vent, one that only you mastered.
"Put your hands in front of you, madam. Don't do anything harsh or I'll be the bad cop," he spoke, playing his role to perfection. It made you squeeze your legs together, tempted to play naughty already. You put your hands in front of you, an innocent air playing in your eyes.
You watched as he seized your wrists, his grip firm as he secured the cuffs. A little smile played on his lips, his fingers toying with the chain between them, enjoying watching you squirm in anticipation. You squealed when the back of your seat suddenly reclined, nearly flattening out. You had been so captivated by his fingers on your cuffs that you hadn’t noticed him reaching for the lever.
"What? Scared, baby?" he chuckled, a wolfish grin spreading across his face as he shifted onto your seat, his knee pressing between your thighs, teasingly close. His cop hat tilted slightly, the rogue air about him only making your pulse race faster. His hand came to your face, cupping your chin, thumb brushing over your lips. "I'm so fuckin’ lucky to have found you," he murmured.
You kissed his thumb, then lightly sucked the tip, making his breath hitch, his pupils darken with something raw and unrestrained. "My handsome… officer. But please don't stop," you whispered, swallowing hard as he grabbed your cuffed wrists, pinning them above your head.
His mouth brushed over yours, teasing, taunting. "Oh, sweetheart," he murmured, his lips curling into a smirk. "I ain't stoppin’ till you beg me to." His words made you shudder, your pussy aching already from arousal.
"My such a good girl, so needy already..." he chuckled at your reaction "I can feel how wet you are for me darlin'..." he purred, referring to his knee pressed between your legs. He could feel your warmth, your moisture transpiring through your panties.
He licked his lips, taking out his knife. He brushed it against your breast, loving the way you gasped as the cold metal of a blade brushed against your hard nipples through your shirt. The blade slid down to your belly and under your shirt. He pressed slightly, the blade so sharp that it easily made your buttons pop, exposing your breast without bra.
"Hmmm...you did it on purpose don't you? to get some officer’s attention?" he played, in fact he was right, you loved to provoke him, tease him in the most inappropriate times.
"Perhaps...take off the rest and I'll show you..." you purred, undulating your body suggestively. Bobby exhaled, not able to make you wait any longer. He placed his mouth on your chest, kissing your breast, fondly, hungrily. One hand cupping it as he kissed and nibbled your nipple.
His other hand let go of the knife to travel down your body once again, sliding underneath your skirt until it reached your laced panties "Oh...I see...missing your Bobby huh?" he smirked, his fingers pressing against your pussy, feeling how much it had wet your panties. His mouth went up to your neck, covering your skin in slow, sloppy kisses, his nose inhaling your scent. One that made him lose his mind. You started moaning under his touch, closing your eyes to enjoy the full sensation of his lips, his fingers all over you. You moved your arms to grab his hair, loving to bury your fingers in those thick curls.
But he stopped you, sizing your cuffed wrist "Huhuh no sweetheart. Can't touch a man of the law." he teased you, pushing your arms up again but a sly light flashed through his eyes "Unless he orders you to. Undo my pants baby." he ordered you, his voice hoarse from arousal, letting you lower your arms again.
You panted excitedly, the chain of the cuffs clicking as you worked to undo his belt, licking your lips as you enjoyed the sight of his swollen bulge pressing through those fitting pants. You flattened your palms, rubbing them slowly against it, teasing him back, watching as he opened his mouth, and moved his hips "Oh you're trying my patience..." he moaned, his hand caressing your neck, grabbing a handful of your hair as he enjoyed your touch.
Deep down, you wished you weren't in that damn uncomfortable car so you would take your time, use your mouth...but in that tight space it wasn't possible. Anyway, you knew you would have plenty of time later to quench your thirst. Your fingers unzipped his pants slowly as you made eye contact with Bobby, provocative, he was at your mercy right now, his eyes, his entire body begging for more. "Huh....missing your sweetheart huh officer?" you teased him back, using the same words he had used for you while you uncovered his hard manhood.
His pupils dilated, his breathing faster “Enough.” He groaned, grabbing the chain of your cuffs again and lifting them above your head as he crashed his lips against yours. He didn’t let you touch his erection no more. No, now he wanted one thing, and your hands wouldn’t be enough.
He grabbed your thighs and lifted them, pulling you closer to his hips. You gasped as you felt his cock press against your panties, rubbing against your sensitive spot. He licked his lips, his fingers pushing away your panties to expose your hole. “Do it Bobby, I can’t wait any longer!” you whined. Your cries terribly aroused him, he pushed his hips forward, and penetrated you, gasping excitedly.
“Ah…Y/N…!” he breathed, his left hand squeezing your tied wrist, his pinky finger entwinning with yours. He couldn’t help those tender gestures, and it was something you loved. Bobby always pretended to be a bad boy, you knew it was just a façade. You wrapped your legs around him, encouraging his hungry thrusts, your arms already aching from being held up but damn it was so hot.
His mouth crashed against yours once again in a heated battle that none of you would win. His hat fell over, the car slightly creaking from the movement of your entwined bodies. The metal and glass of the car not able to conceal your moans. You didn’t give a fuck, no one would say a thing to a cop.
Soon, Bobby’s grip on the cuffs weakened, his hand wanting to steady your hips better. You took that opportunity to trap Bobby in your embrace, your tied wrist nuzzling around his neck, your legs pressing him deeper inside you. It made both of you reach peak, pleasure becoming more and more overwhelming, your voices higher pitch.
Finally, you came, you back arching and your legs quivering, your mind dazed. After a few more erratic thrusts Bobby came as well, his warm seed filling your insides. He collapsed onto you, burying his face in your neck, his fingers holding tight the edges of your skirt.
He exhaled soundly, his body fully relaxing against yours as you buried your fingers in his curls “Feeling better Bobby?” you asked after a pause, kissing his forehead.
He nodded, letting out a happy groan. He placed small tender kisses on your skin. His mind felt much lighter, much clearer now. His thoughts couldn’t help but drift back to his investigation for a moment.
“What is it?” you cocked an eyebrow as he quickly lifted his head, his expressing shifting from pure bliss of love making to realization, his eyes moving in a way to show he was thinking quickly.
“Shit…!” he beamed, quickly reaching for his cap “We have to go back to the station!” he exclaimed, giving you a big kiss before parting from you all disheveled.
You blinked, still catching your breath. “What?”
He ran a hand through his hair, a new energy sparking in his gaze. “I just figured it out, the case. I know where to look.”
You exhaled a breathless laugh, shaking your head. “Of course you do.” he gave you his coat to cover your exposed chest and zipped his pants, forgetting to put his shirt back into it. He was about to turn the car on.
“Wait! Undo my cuffs!” you laughed, glad to have help him. Pride filled your chest, he had become such a good man and worked so hard for it.
“A shame…I wish I kept you in custody for a little more…” he flirted, reaching for the keys and freeing you from the cuffs. But tonight though…he put the cuffs and keys in your purse, winking at you as he put the contact on “Guess you’re ridin’ with me, sweetheart. Let’s go catch some bad guys.” He grinned, off to his investigation but this time with you, his most essential motivation by his side.
tag list: @skaravile @lyoongx @weirdflecksbutok @charlie-sisters @stardancerluv @sgtsavoytruffle @ohcarlesmycarles @rajacero @niniitah-ah @morrisonmercurryphoenix @fly-like-a-phoenix @thatdummy-girlr @galos-writing @pstvchld @chiclunatic @hellcatrising
#joaquin phoenix#bobby green x you#bobby green x reader#bobby green imagine#bobby green#we own the night
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Scar Tissue
Summary: Joe wouldn't reach as far to give himself a parent of the year award, he wasn't even a parent to begin with, but he'd say that he did well by giving you your space, never invading only following when invited.
Pairing: Joe x afab!Reader
Word Count: ~ 2.5k
Content Warnings: Mentions Of PTSD, Night Terrors, Trauma-Induced Tics, Emotional Constipation, Canon Typical Violence, Mentions Of Self-Inflicted Harm And Depression, Explicit Sexual Imagination 18+!, Angst, Oh The Yearning
A/N: “But, Tam! You can't just shamelessly sexualize a character murdering in cold blood in a 90-minute film about SA and PTSD!” Hush, child, and watch me.
Tagging: @somepallings @queer-crusader

you can’t win ‘em all
who knows how much longer
i’ll lay on the floor
touch me til i vomit
i’m not scared of god
i’m scared he was gone all along
- Inbred By Ethel Cain
Thick fabric ruffled in a pitch-black bedroom. Calm yet shallow breaths accompanied the quiet ordeal of a fuzzy blanket moving as you slipped underneath its warm cover and felt the cold coming from the inside slowly fading from your chest.
You shimmied back until the curve of your spine was flush against Joe's front - you knew he was awake just as much as you were; actual, real sleep being a sparse blessing.
“Night terrors?” It wasn't the first time and certainly wouldn’t be the last for you to leave your sweat-soaked sheets behind to find shelter with him.
“You?” You answered his question without really answering.
“One should think that shit's gonna leave you alone at some point. Can't understand why the old noggin is having a jerkfest over it every other night.” Joe muttered quietly yet not any less disgruntled, the prolonged lack of proper rest only feeding into the rougher parts of his character.
“Do you still smell it, too? It's the sweat and stale cigarette smoke for me. Sometimes hints of piss.” The memory rippled through your body in an uncomfortable jolt, causing that little tic to go off from the nape of your neck straight up into your head as it flinched to the side for a split second.
“Hey…”, Joe immediately jumped on it, the inherent need to soothe what you had been burdened with dragging his tired body into motion, “I'm here…showered and smoke-free.”
To prove his somewhat humorously annotated attempt to shush the still lingering nightmares right back to where they came from, he wrapped one arm around your waist, holding you close enough for the gentle wafts of laundry detergent to softly engulf you.
“Don't give them your time, they're not worth it. So many brighter things to think about.”, Joe practically wrapped himself around you, shielding you from everything he possibly could, his chin carefully resting against the crown of your head, “What do you wanna eat tomorrow? What's the next movie you want to go and see? What's up with your friend Rose? Didn't she wanna throw a party or something?”
The onslaught of rapid-fire questions sought to flush your synapses like a cold rinse through a soap-clouded bathtub circling the drain before eventually trickling into the sewers.
“I want pasta. The current cinema program is garbage and Rose already cancelled her own gig because she's sick. Next question.” It spilt from your lips with sharp precision, making Joe behind you laugh out briefly.
“Oh-kay…let's stick with the pasta then. What pasta? I'm good enough to manage a halfway decent sandwich, help me out here.” It was a bit stupid, perhaps a bit weird as well to talk about pasta in the middle of the night after having been terrorised by haunting nightmares yet again.
However, the silliness of it all was what got you through it eventually, what helped you to work your face enough to allow that ghost of a grin to tug at the corners of your lips and for distraught thoughts to narrow down on something entirely else.
“Hm..”, You pondered over possible culinary desires for a moment whilst your body gradually settled down, sinking into the mattress and against Joe as uptight tension left your muscles, “Some with tuna, tomatoes and shittons of garlic…and chili.”
You pictured the plate laden with spaghetti and sauce in your mind, an empty stomach switching gears as the thought turned a bit too tangible.
“I go to the store and cook and you see if you can fix my camera, deal?” The words blubbering from your mouth turned slightly slurry, audible enough for Joe to know that he’d sufficiently bothered you trivialities to the point your thought had stopped grasping at the buzzing livewire that was trauma.
“Sure, deal.” He reciprocated, listening to your breaths turn more steady and drawn-out.
He didn’t dare to move just the slightest bit until gentle snores trickled from your lips and hummed against the the thick duvet. It was every other day he had to actively remind himself that you weren’t just made out of porcelain - you’d long grown into your one person and ever so often the passage of time rapidly caught up to him.
Joe had helped you through high school and college, your intellect very much not being the issue at hand but rehabilitating you back into society had taken its time and its toll. However, by now, he simply felt at ease, as much as a man with his history could, and even allowed himself a little moment of pride. The ex-marine was proud of you for shouldering the weight of your memories every day anew and he was proud of himself because you - the coffee-stained, beige file that had been the case of you on his desk - finally felt like he’d been able to make a dent, a change, just something in a world that swallowed whole and only spat out bones sucked dry off all their marrow.
The tip of his nose hovered right above the top of your head. his lips almost touching the strands of hair flowing down as he inhaled the apple-scented shampoo. Washed, fed, cared for - all things you’d been in severe lack of as he’d stormed this “establishment”, fueled by the rage of a thousand suns that had come crashing down upon seeing you cowering at the side of a ruffled bed, an oversized Care Bear t-shirt hanging like a wet towel from trembling shoulders as you’d stared right back at him, frightened and dragged into a corner enough to be ready to kill or severely mutilate at the very least.
No one should be familiar with that exact expression on someone's face but especially not a hardly 14-year-old teenager, laden with experiences enough to fill about three lives to the brim.
There'd been this wicked, silent understanding as you'd looked at the blood dripping from his hands, the blood of your tormentors. You'd imprinted on Joe in that very moment, stuck to him like a duckling for more than you just the way out of the front door, until he'd come to terms with the fact that you'd stay with him - fake birth certificate, fake ID, fake CPS documents in abundance; there was hardly anything he couldn’t get his calloused hands on through shady contacts and knowing someone who knew someone who knew someone.
It had taken you all the time that had been necessary to get you accustomed to having privacy again, your own room with an adjoined bathroom. Some days, Joe hadn't seen you at all - the only thing he'd ask for was an occasional text message stating that you were okay or in need of something.
The requests had changed from a bag of potato chips and bottles of diet coke to pads, tampons, a razor and nail polish, resulting in a big, burly man finding himself between feminine hygiene products and make-up.
Had it been uncomfortable and ridiculous? Yeah, a thousand times yes, but he'd give any amount of awkwardness to see you chipper, a happy swing to your steps as you walked down the stairs to grab some breakfast, eyes beaming as you quietly presented freshly painted nails wrapped around a spoon shoved into a cereal bowl.
There'd been on-and-off times with your mutism, just like with anything else. Some weeks you spent your days basking in the sun in the yard and then again others hiding away, only emerging to eat and wave your hand at him to let him know that you were doing the best you could right now.
Joe wouldn't ever reach as far to give himself a parent of the year award, he wasn't even a parent to begin with, but he'd say that he did well by giving you your space, never invading only following when invited.
Later on, there had been episodes that turned much darker, nights where you'd woken him from light sleep, tears streaming down your face and pooling at a clenched jawline as you confessed about having lost control.
Thinking about it - Joe slowly splayed his hand over your stomach, a thin, skin-warm layer of cloth separating his palm from welts of now pale scar tissue. He could've never been angry at you for this. Actually, he could understand it just fine, hating your own body so much because of what sick people had done with and to it. Getting swallowed by the need to mutilate the skin that remained stained no matter how many times you scrubbed yourself red underneath a steaming shower - none of that a stranger to Joe.
For now, those things had settled down. During college it really felt like you'd come into your own fully, making friends, going out and coming back home somewhat tipsy on weekends. You had graduated, entertained a part-time job at the local library you enjoyed working, yet, some nights, Joe wondered what would be next.
You'd never come home with someone else besides your iron-tight circle of close friends. You also didn't exactly appear to entertain the idea of moving out anytime soon and, by all means, Joe would never push you to any of those things, however, he found himself wondering, caring about your future in a way that left an uncomfortable aftertaste on his tongue.
The ex-marine had spent years building a trigger-free environment for him, but most importantly for you - open and clean rooms, a locked front- and backdoor, he'd quit smoking - an environment not sterile but again, trigger-free… the only monster hiding in his closet.
Joe had started feeling it rearing its ugly head about a year ago. It must’ve been there a little longer than that but had kept itself well hidden away from prying eyes on nights spent with excruciatingly meticulous introspection and whenever Joe started thinking about it for a bit too long, it started pulling and tugging at him with long slender fingers, causing thoughts to drift into a twilight zone between dreaming and vivid fantasy.
Thought about being with you in a different way clawed their way up his spine to bite him into the neck that he felt the need to hang low in shame and silent atonement the days after. No matter how hard he tried to keep the images at bay, they came back swapping over, wrecking through him in gradually more grotesque variations until he either took care of it himself or decided to stand beneath an ice-cold shower until his muscles hurt.
Against better judgement, tonight was no different: The very moment Joe’s hypervigilant senses started drifting off into calmer waters, his body took over, shamelessly doubling down on letting him sense the warmth emitting from your body next to his, the apple-scented shampoo getting infiltrated by hints of sweat and that unique smell that clung to you and only you, that smell by which he could differentiate you between hundreds of people with his eyes blindfolded if he ever had to.
His teeth drilled themselves into the sensitive tissue on the inside of his cheek as you inched closer, getting comfortable in your sleep. He wanted to, everything within yearned and yelled at him to, but there was no way he’d allow himself to just pull you against him. It always started off innocent, the tantalizing idea of placing a few tender kisses into the crook of your neck slithering into his mind to get a foot into the door for what was about to follow.
Just tiny little bits of affection that carried a different flavour to test the waters and see if you’d like it, if you’d shove yourself closer in a nonverbal plea for more. A tainted rush of inevitable arousal gathered at the pit of his stomach, disgust and shame turning it to twist in every possible direction at the very same time. The hand he held resting against your front threatened to twitch as the touch, separated by soft fabric, turned to feel like his entire palm was set on fire. It was nonsense, yet Joe was genuinely afraid of burning you with the flames that were eating away at him again.
He’d do whatever you wanted him to - tear the whole city down and leave nothing but scorched earth and dying embers - just to know you with him until the end of days, however, simultaneously, this closed-off and eternally muzzled part of him wanted nothing more than to ravage you in every way possible, eat you alive and swallow whole.
Joe could very well see it play out behind closed eyes, the wretched fantasy of him letting fingers dip down south, maybe letting them slip past the loose waistband of your pyjama shorts or perhaps just sneaking along the curves of your things along the fuzzy cloth; intricacies he usually switched and played with when he found himself alone in the dark and not with your shoulders flush to his chest that was struggling to keep his hammering heart contained.
His body betrayed him and for a brief moment he caught himself begging to gods he didn’t believe in that you were sleeping soundly enough that all of this went straight past you; not even the embarrassment crushing through him like a tide enough to kill the throbbing erection straining against his sweatpants. Maybe he should just castrate himself to make it all stop, to be able to be with you without being that looming black shadow you weren’t even aware of.
You were too good for this, too good for someone with such a crippled soul. No, you should go out there and meet someone your age, fall in love, have silly coffee shop and cinema dates instead of spending every damn day in the nimbus of memories in a house that must reek of past trauma no matter how hard the both of you tried to brush it under the rug.
Perhaps it was time for Joe to suggest looking for a flat, a place you could fully call your own. He doubled down on the thought to punish himself for being just another man.
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