#very few of you have referred to me as autistic

[fuckjohncalvin]

Jon: *describing what he was like when he was younger, explaining why it was hard to raise him*

Me: Oh. wow. No, that's me exactly. I- I didn't know other people were like that. Nice to know I'm not the only one.

Me: ...

Me: GUYS I'M NOT AUTISTIC. STOP

[soupblr]

[lacefuneral]

fixed it:

Love how ADHD, autism and schizophrenia objectively have the same amount of traits and experiences in common, but schizophrenics aren't welcome in the metaphorical club house because they're bad for the image the neurodivergency movement is currently trying to capitalize on and with "love" I mean fuck y'all

[rathayibacter]

Ok so how does one MAKE a tabletop game because this is something I want to try!! Are there good references out there for non-d20 systems or how to balance mechanics yourself?

oooh, hell yeah! honestly the big thing is to just do it, unlike board and video games the gap between idea and execution in ttrpgs is incredibly narrow, so if youve got an idea just start writing stuff down and see where it starts pulling you, where it feels like something's missing, find what excites you and what you feel isn't working. but that's not very specific, so let's get into it!

first off, read games! read weird games! there's tons of free ttrpgs on itch, lots of people sharing their work here and on other social media, there's 200 word rpgs here and here, and lots of system reference documents written specifically for people looking to hack games. reading other games is a great way to enrich your work whether you're building systems from scratch or working in an existing framework, because every game you read will show you a new way of approaching design problems.

on that note, draw inspiration outside of ttrpgs too! i pull a lot from video, board, and card games in my work, as well as poetry, novels, movies, etc etc etc. im autistic, and ive spent a lot of my life thinking about and dissecting unwritten social rules, so that's another big source of material for me. take your passions, whatever they may be, and put them in your work!

next up, think about the core of your game, sometimes called the minimum viable product. this is whatever the fundamental idea at the heart of your work is, and it's important to keep in mind because it keeps you from spiraling down unnecessary tangents. the core of your game can change, don't get me wrong! in fact, it likely will. what you want to do isn't prevent your work from growing and changing, but have a point of light you can always refer back to and ask "is what im doing important to this game?" you might be surprised by what you find isn't actually as important as you thought at first, and what turns out to be vital to the experience you're going for.

next up, once you start working, don't throw things away. if youre working in a word processor or google docs, it can help to have a section at the bottom of your document that you copy anything youd otherwise delete into. i do the same with my Affinity documents, ill have a few pages i dont export to store all my scraps. i know other folks who keep a dedicated scraps document that they use across projects. whatever works for you! the reason you do this is twofold: it makes it easier to cut things if you know you can always put it back later if you change your mind, and it gives you a lot of raw material that you can pull from in the future. months or years from now, you might find yourself looking to fill a gap in a new design and realize that some cool toy you set aside is exactly what you were looking for.

lastly, i wanna strongly encourage you to practice finishing things. that's often the hardest part for people, cuz we have a lot more experience starting projects than finishing them. here id like to once again direct you to 200 word rpgs, because that strict limit means you wind up with a finished first draft really quickly, and the rest of it is polishing and editing. once you've finished some bite-sized projects, you'll have a better idea of what it entails, what parts you're good at and what parts you struggle with, when to keep working and when to cut yourself off. i find it really helpful to add arbitrary limitations and deadlines on my work because that helps me push myself to finish something when otherwise i'd just keep adding and tweaking, but you'll find what works best for you!

[zebulontheplanet]

most of the autism stuff i encounter (as a low-support autistic person) revolves pretty much exclusively around ppl with low-support needs, who can easily pass for non-autistic, who don't get diagnosed until well into adulthood bc they look "normal," which maps pretty well onto my own experience (except i was diagnosed very young) but it only represents a fraction of the autistic community. so your blog was a really nice find.

a few questions:

when your aac device runs out of battery, what are your alternatives? are you able to write stuff down instead?

what's the purpose of plaintext? who does it accommodate?

i know when it comes to individuals, you're supposed to ask them whether they prefer to be called nonspeaking or nonverbal, but which do i use as an umbrella term? how do i refer to them as a group? (maybe this is a pointless question bc you're only one person but i'm still curious)

sorry if i misspoke or said anything offensive, like i said i've been inundated with mostly low-support perspectives and today was basically my first time finding anything else

Hello anon! Glad to see you here. I’ll try my best to answer your questions.

If my AAC battery runs out, then I can use my phone. I have my apps on my phone as well for backup. But let’s say my phone and AAC are out of battery, I’d use my partners/caregivers phone, which they have a AAC app downloaded on and the notes app, which I could use to communicate. But let’s say my AAC is dead, my phones dead, and I’m not with my caregiver or my caregivers phone is dead. I’d be shit out on luck. Unless we had a pen and paper with us, I wouldn’t be able to communicate at all besides grunts, pointing, and leading. So yeah, those are very important. It’s very important to have things charged at all times.

Plaintext is important for those with cognitive and intellectual disability. Why? Because some of us can’t understand complicated text. I am one of those people. Some of it I can understand? But a lot of it I can’t. Plaintext is very important and is an accessibility tool. This just doesn’t stop at cognitive and intellectually disabled folk. Many people benefit from plaintext.

This is a hard one, and one I cannot not fully answer because each person will say something different. If someone was to use an umbrella term around me personally, I’d prefer them to use nonverbal. But some people prefer that people use nonspeaking. Again, it all depends and it’s a hard question. Just go with the flow and see what those around you prefer.

Anyways, I hope this helps! If you have any further questions then let me know. Have a lovely day anon!

[incognitopolls]

Genuine question

Why is it bad/frowned upon to submit one poll to several blogs? I personally haven't done it, but I've considered doing it for different responses as not everyone follows the same poll blogs / all of them.

I think it's fine if one person wants to submit their own poll idea to several blogs for whatever reason. The desire for more data is real, especially if it's a burning question that you can't easily get answers to another way. I don't think that's what curiositysavesthecat was referring to, though; it sounds like they've received submissions that are exact copies of polls that are already published, suggesting that it's a different submitter who saw the original poll and thought, "Hey, fantastic idea, let me copy that."

We're talking about two different scenarios:

In the first scenario (what you're talking about), curiousblog1234 wants to know if people sing to their pets. curiousblog1234 sends this poll suggestion to 5 poll blogs because they really want to know and get the biggest sample they can.

In the second scenario (what I'm talking about), curiousblog1234 wants to know if people sing to their pets. curiousblog1234 sends this poll suggestion to generalpollblog7. The poll goes in generalpollblog7's queue and is released 2 weeks later. At that point, opportunistblog55 grabs it and submits it to a few more poll blogs.

There's a secret third scenario in which I do think it would be pretty fair to submit someone else's idea to another poll blog, which is if the question curiousblog1234 submitted to generalpollblog7 was, for instance, "Autistic people, which sense overwhelms you the most often?" and, after it was posted, opportunistblog55 submitted it to autismpolls40 because they knew it would get more targeted responses there.

Submitting duplicates of someone else's polls to other blogs isn't morally bad but it strikes me as just kind of rude if there's not a reason for it. Idk.

Also… this won't be true for every poll blog, but if it's a perfect word-for-word copy of a poll posted on this blog there's a very good chance that it's not the original submitter, because as I've said before I proofread and make slight changes to the wording of most polls to improve clarity at minimum.

Anyway.

[eriexplosion]

Yesterday everyone was posting their feelings on TBB. I'm glad I waited, because there's a lot swirling around. Cut for negativity again.

I was introduced to The Bad Batch in August 2022 and fell instantly in love. The characters, the story, the complex family dynamics, they all spoke to me. I wasn't even a Star Wars fan but I went through and devoured The Clone Wars, Rebels, The Mandalorian, all of it. I threw myself into this world and adored every second of it. I must have rewatched season one over five times before season two even came out.

When season two premiered I loved it. Every Tuesday night I stayed up until the episode drop and devoured it immediately. I looked ahead at the schedule and took days off work for the double episodes, for the big Crosshair episodes - he was my favorite early on and season two only made that grow. But season two also really brought Tech into my radar even more. I had always liked him, but here he was shining. The Crossing really solidified it, as an autistic person. I'd never heard someone describe the difference in processing so succinctly before, so clearly, and it spoke to me like very little had. Here was a character that was like me. Here was a character that I needed when I was an undiagnosed child, someone that would have made me feel like I had at least some way of describing my differences.

Then, well. He died. It was an affecting scene, but it felt out of nowhere, it felt unfinished. Tech didn't even get the climax of the episode. He just fell into the clouds, the Batch grieved for a few minutes, and then the plot steamrolled right along.

I didn't believe it, not after the mad scientist presented his goggles and claimed not to salvage anything else. It seemed like such an obvious fake out. The longer I sat with it the less satisfying it felt. It felt so brushed over, so pointless, all for a mission that they accomplished nothing on. Then came the social media circus. Again and again his fall was shoved in our faces on Twitter, demanding we stream it. TikToks were made that were so out of touch they felt like parodies, the wound ripped open again and again, and I thought surely there had to be a purpose to it.

So I waited for season 3 as interviews were done that seemed to almost intentionally avoid calling him dead. As tweets were made promising we'd be so fulfilled if we could only see who was onscreen in the mid-season! (A tweet that immediately garnered dozens of people hoping it referred to Tech, all without a single comment to try and quell the speculation.) It felt already like we were being toyed with, but I thought it had to be for a reason or a purpose. More weirdly vague discussions went up about his Sacrifice, his Fall, his Anything But Death, even as everyone insists that it was so meaningful, the way he died on a mission that accomplished nothing. Jokes were made around Valentines Day.

He Fell For You, get it?

The first official use of killed went up on the databank right after the trailer, on Hunter's page of all places. The first time the interviews used dead was the Friday before the premier. It all felt too late, theories had already grown for months by that point.

Season 3 finally came and I waited up for every episode drop just like I did for season 2, hoping for him to come back or at least for him to be properly grieved, since we had barely a couple of minutes in Plan 99 before it was swept away for the next plot point. Surely Tech's impact deserved an episode of focus, if he were really gone.

The previously on plays his last words twice. But then we skip months into the future. We don't see Crosshair find out the news - even though Tech died on a mission to retrieve him. We don't watch Omega grieve. She barely seems to notice she's missing a brother. We got a brief allusion in episode two. It took three episodes to even mention his name in passing. Five episodes in everyone got their chance to look sad about him, but only for a few seconds and only when his skills were relevant. Compared to the gorgeous callback to Mayday in the same episode, it felt shallow. He had to have been more important than this didn't he?

Episodes 6 & 7 felt like maybe there was a reason. We see a new masked assassin that gets extra focus, who got put through a series of Tech-adjacent situations, whose beef with Crosshair was just a little too personal, who survived longer than all the rest but stayed masked. Rex talks about losing brothers, but Hunter says nothing about the brother they lost. I hoped it all meant something, that this was the reason that he felt so much like he was thrown away, so that he could come back in.

More one off mentions that only really come up when it's about how useful Tech would have been. More poking at the wound that still felt open and raw because we'd never gotten any closure. The closest we get is a single scene in episode eleven, so late in the season and so brief that I thought that couldn't possibly be it.

CX-2 comes back, and he talks like Tech. He's still not unmasked. I really need him to be something because otherwise what was it all for?

The most emotion comes in Juggernaut, from Phee. Its a highlight because it actually feels like it was about him, like he mattered as a person. It's episode twelve and we finally talk about him like a person. We never saw her get the news either.

Episodes thirteen and fourteen pass without any mentions at all. We're running out of time. Episode 15 hits and we get one raw one from Crosshair that Clone Force 99 died with Tech. It's the first time they directly say he's dead in so many words. It's the season finale. CX-2 is a nobody it turns out, and he dies faceless. Everyone gets a happy ending and after over a year of wondering if we'd ever get closure, it turns out Tech's just dead. But look how happy everyone else is!

Everyone gets to grow old. Except the autistic one of course. He's just dead and it hardly feels like it mattered at all. Did you know Wrecker and Hunter don't use his name once in season three? Omega and Echo mention him once each. Crosshair twice, only once with any emotion behind it. Phee tops the charts at three mentions, two by name and one by nickname. We see his goggles four times. I kept count.

There was never a bigger plan, this was just all he was worth. We spent two seasons on Crosshair's absence. We spent a whole episode dealing with it when Echo decided to go with Rex. Tech dies though and all his life amounted to was a handful of mentions when his skills would have been useful, some shots of his broken goggles, and endless cooing out of the text over how meaningful his sacrifice was. Too meaningful to take back, of course, even as Ventress is brought back from her own sacrifice.

I had really, really thought that this time autistic life would be worth more than autistic death. That a character that felt so carefully handled couldn't have just been thrown away for shock value, barely to even be mentioned again, his memory used to string us along to keep us watching. If you added up every mention and shot through season 3 it might actually clock in at less time than was spent on Mayday's send off.

I'm an adult. I'll survive, though the sting of seeing yet another character like me used as a stepping stone for everyone else's happy ending will take a while to fade. But I think about the child I used to be who needed a character like Tech. And I think about how it would have felt to actually get that only to watch him die a handful of episodes later as a side note to his family's story, barely even mentioned again. How badly it would have hurt, how deep it would have scarred.

I'm not that child anymore. But there are a lot of autistic kids out there that are the same as I used to be, and they're learning for the first time that people like us don't get happy endings. Instead they die so that everyone around them can rise up, and they might even get mentioned a few times. But don't worry. Everyone will tell you how meaningful and special it is and how delusional you were to ever hope for anything else.

The Bad Batch still means a lot to me. I think it always will. I love the characters. I love the family, and all the potential they had. But the sting of not belonging in this happy ending is there, and it's deep. It's been a long time since I trusted a show. It'll be a long time before I risk trusting another. And I hope that the autistic kids trying to learn how to close their hearts off behind new walls are doing okay.

[tbmkit]

A Deep Dive on "The End" of Las Nevadas

to start things off, this is my own interpretation of his dialogue. i explained how i feel about the stream here in this post. going off of that, i am going to break down the way quackity (who, for clarification sake i'll just refer to as alex) interpreted him. this is gonna get into random theories and probably get like, a little personal and im going to sound crazy but im also autistic and super invested with a bunch of free time... but i think the whole way this stream was carried out had a double meaning to it, and i will examine it here. not proofread, we 're going in raw. so, let's begin with...

Section 1: The Different Personalities of the Quackities

for starters, i want to examine the personalities of each character. obviously, im not taking much (aside from a few bits) into account from the other streams. this was all carefully crafted in one stream to get each persona down, rather than on-the-fly acting. each one has a sort of "archetype" to dissect.

q!quackity, who is quiet, reserved, skittish - yet smart and observant. he uses longer words, and spends more time observing the conversations, then jumping in for the "kill"

k!quackity, who is battered from the betrayal hes gone through, he feels hurt yet he doesnt feel anger. its internalized, he doesnt trust the others, however he mentions that they need to build trust to get out of the "cube"

ln!quackity, who is extroverted, boisterous, the physical incarnate of a bruised ego. he holds his head high not realizing his neck is always exposed, ready for someone to rip him to shreds if they hit the right vein. he's an asshole, making fun of the others, holds himself proudly on his achievements. but he's the only one that cries. q!quackity is anxious, but he doesn't cry. ln!quackity does.

and... alex. a self-proclaimed introvert, who is kind and observant, who forces himself to get out of his comfort zone, something he called a "finish line." a writer, a director, someone who loves telling stories. and this one, happens to be a story of different personas of his, with one being killed off.

and with that, we get into the topic of what i believe the stream represents. if you'll join me for a long read, i think this stream represents his growth as a person and a content creator, in a very extreme and especially vulnerable way.

Section 2: Pre-Quackities Dialogue

an interesting point about ln!quackity is that his dialogue is very turbulent. he goes from being confident to anxious and scared in a moment's notice.

from...

Slime! Was this you? Did you do this? I didn't mean to do this- the the.. I wasn't… malfunction! An explosive went off! I don't know where I am! I might've done some [stupid] stuff, but it's not- it's not fair to pin it on me. You saw it- you saw it- you saw what everyone did to me…

at first, he's very confused. a topic he brings up later is how he always wins, or rather how the house always wins. he succeeded in killing himself, thus the surprise. he didn't really mean to succeed, he thought he'd fail just like all the other times. that's what he's used to.

then...

I don't know who you are, and you certainly don't know who I am either. […] If you have any answers for me, just let me know, please. Alright fine- whoever put me here, get me out! Or just kill me! That was the point of what I was trying to do!

his ego pops in - "you certainly don't know who i am either" weighing his importance. he can't die, he's just so vital for his country. his carefully crafted country. but he can't stand not knowing what actually happened - did he finally succeed? for once in his entire life? no, surely not. he wants to get out - he didn't really mean to kill himself. just one more chance, he wants. but if he can't have one more chance, he just wants it to be over. either keep fighting and fighting or finally give up, even if you just succeeded for the first time in your life.

finally to...

We can make a deal, alright? Let's do a little bit of gambling, let's make a deal! […] You let me out of here, I… do you want me to do good deeds? I'll do good deeds! […] I'll do it, just let me go… just give me a sign…

"ha! gambling, casinos, money! that's my personality! you guys know me, mr. casino man! ring any bells yet?? you guys know that's what i'm all about!" he cries. that's where his power is held - material possessions, easy wins, his comfort zone. something he can easily control. he tries to paint himself as a "better" version of himself by offering his material possessions, anything to save his ass. something he can live without, something he's comfortable losing because he'll just gain it back double in the end.

Section 3: Pre-Monologue

the first thing ln!quackity says to k!quackity - apart from being taken aback by being called a gringo - is

A foreigner?! Where are you from?

now this might come off as one of the farther reaches in this post, but i feel like this was mean to represent ("this" as in, the way ln!quackity treats k!quackity as a whole) the switch to spanish content that alex did. i feel like ln!quackity is very offput by k!quackity because it was a hard switch for alex to make, given how people in the public - and in private - treated this switch. throughout the stream, ln!quackity treats k!quackity with ambivalence - not with hatred or disgust, but also with an underlying fearful tone - as he does not understand him when he speaks spanish. however, ln!quackity does speak spanish. he spoke spanish all the time. hell, the casino is called el palacio (which you can see on the signs inside), we got el rapids, mexican l'manburg, flirting with schlatt... this is just a front. he just doesn't want to communicate, even acknowledge him speaking to him. his ego gets in the way, not wanting to acknowledge this. q!quackity does not speak spanish, this was clear given the lore of qsmp with elquackity. however, ln!quackity is known as bilingual. so why would he try to hide that part of him? you tell me.

You see? I was also betrayed! And actually I was the one doing the torturing, but I have the better story here.

"hah look at me im so badass! who gives a fuck if you went through so much shit! i also did that shit but to someone else! that also kinda happened to me but who cares!" says the deeply traumatized individual who perpetuates a cycle of abuse.

Tone it fucking down. You don't know who you're speaking to.

he says this directly after being called out by the other two. he, again, deems himself as more important. he's the badass one, he's the one that is more "successful," he gets all the fame and credit. thus, when someone tries to tell him that he's full of shit, he immediately puts up his defenses - the ones he's been crafting for all his life, through the endless amount of trauma he's gone through. did he ever back down? show emotions? no, he hasn't. he's always just been a powerhouse. even when his friends and partners betrayed him, he used that to fuel his drive, not knock him down.

I win. That's my job. My job is to make people think they win. I'm a multimillionaire because I run an extremely successful casino business. I also am the president of the richest country in my world. But you know, the more success, the more people want to kill you. And if I'm here right now it's because they succeeded - although I do think the people responsible might be dead soon as well, because if I truly am dead, then they fucked up. So yeah I'm not worried about it at all. Just a bunch of cowards that stormed my casino, probably shot me, they'll get caught.

here he goes again, flaunting his achievements. whenever someone tries to wiggle through the cracks of his ego, he spits out the same recycled speech about his achievements. everyone wants him, everyone wants what he has. but does he truly want it all? is it to make up for what he had lost, or maybe it's to hide his emotions or his insecurities? will they all be drowned out by material possessions? "the more success, the more people want to kill you," so, himself, since that's who killed him in the end? with how much he's been gaining, does that mean that his will to live dwindled too as he got everything he ever wanted? but of course, this is all one big lie to cover up the fact that he was the one with a bounty on his own head.

Q!Quackity: If you are as successful as you say you are, I would imagine that you would already be on edge for someone trying to kill you. […] so how exactly did you inflict your own death?

bonus! with the context above, i feel like q!quackity picked up on his suicidal tendencies, and is thus asking, "hey, since you have it all and i kiiinda feel like we all killed ourselves here, and you said the more successful you are the more people wanna kill you, doesn't that mean you wanna kill yourself?"

Section 4: The Monologue

Fine. You wanna know how I got here? I fucking destroyed it all, I fucking did it. I fucking did it. I sat on my fucking throne and I lit it all on fire and it was fucking beautiful. You know why? Because you can't trust nobody. You can't fucking trust nobody. Alright… alright… I come from a world where you can't trust nobody. Your neighbour will backstab you for a piece of bread if he has to. There are no friends where I came from, okay? And people will sell you out in a fucking second. I tried it all, I tried politics, I tried businesses, and I never won. You know what made all those fail? You know what made every fucking attempt of mine fail? Trust! You can't trust people! They will kill you! So if I can't win, I did what I had to do.

the first half of the monologue is all about being betrayed. "how did i get here? / i destroyed it all / it was beautiful" for someone who prides himself in his material possessions, this doesn't feel like he'd be happy about getting rid of it all. his entire country, what he loved. las nevadas is his comfort zone. that's why he was confined to it, he never left, nobody entered, truly. sure he had some of his friends, but they betrayed him in the end. he ended up hurting them and they left, or they hurt him regardless.

this is where alex comes into play. this monologue was intentional, this was raw and vulnerable. it represents ln!quackity, yes. but, underlying is alex throughout it all. it's not a hidden fact that he's had a lot of people that ended up betraying him, and others in his life as well. so many people took advantage of his trust and kindness. they wanted to commodify him, use his fame, get a bit of clout, get his money, all for themselves. ln!quackity didn't want to be on top of the world, he rose so high up that from below everything looks so small and lost sight of where he was. this represents the ego. it's so easy for your ego to get ahold of you, but when you're so high up, you get knocked down, all the way to your death...

I fabricated my wins, I created my own country, I built my circumstances. Me! Nobody else! Because nobody else thinks like I do! Nobody can! So there comes a point where it's over, at some point you fucking lose.

the aforementioned fall. las nevadas was his comfort - the only place where nothing could go wrong. everything went his way, and only his. the house always wins, it's his comfort zone. he crafted it himself. "nobody else thinks like i do / nobody can" represents his internal struggle. his insecurities that he had to build four walls and a roof over, hidden away from sight in a city of different buildings. he thinks hes the only one that feels this way, he doesnt think anyone can feel the amount of pain he does. life is a chore for ln!quackity, he chugs through it and never once could he rest. but, he finally got to. and now that he has it all... what else is there left? his insecurities and shame that he trapped himself in with all this time. he's forced to sit with them, ponder, grow attached to them yet still hide them from everyone. nobody can know how he feels, nobody can know what he thinks. he never opened up, he never got in touch with his emotions and thus

My partner, my great business partner… I built him, piece by piece, I gave him the personality that I wanted! He learned from me, he is who he is because of me! Yet he has the audacity to abandon me? To abandon what I built? To defy me? He called me a bad person and guess what? I am a bad person. And I'll fucking own it til the day I die. Everything gets destroyed, I'm not gonna wait for a fucking traitor to put me in my grave, that's my JOB. So yeah, I inflicted it, I'm here because of me. I'm here because of me, nobody else. *starts crying*

this is where it gets tricky. my personal interpretation that fits with the theme is that slime represents alex. ln!quackity - or rather, his ego - molded slime into what he is - a copy of ln!quackity. a hollow imitation of the ego. ln!quackity made slime into precisely that. he was a blank slate, he had so much power over him, and thus he finally had someone who could think like him, without the pain that ln!quackity felt because slime felt none. not until ln!quackity hurt him - his own ego hurt alex, in this sense. the fame, his career had hurt him.

"to abandon what i built / to defy me" taking a step back to keep your ego in check, to finally realize what matters in life, is an act of defiance. to humble yourself, to realize you're nothing more than a person that feels hurt by his environment (calling back to: "I might've done some [stupid] stuff, but it's not- it's not fair to pin it on me. You saw it- you saw it- you saw what everyone did to me…" which he said when he was alone, begging for his life, for a second chance to go back to where he felt safest) it was such a strong revelation that it made ln!quackity cry. finally, he could cry.

ln!quackity, in his own eyes, is perfect. he's what everyone wants to be. money, fame, achievements... but the moment he realizes hes hurt he comes back down from his pedestal. he's not the badass everyone wants him to be, he's not the king of the land, he's scared and sensitive. he just wants to be loved, but every time he is, he gets hurt. so why love when you can hurt? that's why he's so rude and abrasive. because why love when hurting is easier? hurting is the norm, hurting is comfort. las nevadas is a nation that encapsulates nothing but pain.

Where do you guys think you are? What is this to you, just a little game? Just a little more entertainment? Look around us, look at this, look at this sick joke, we're puppets! They think it's real! None of this is! And maybe that's the game, we just need to play it! Who's it gonna be, huh? What am I meant to do? How do I win today's game? I'm not gonna give these bastards a show, I want out!

obligatory "who do you think we're actually talking about here?" fourth wall-breaking segment. you should be able to piece it together here. ln!quackity doesn't want to be part of the show anymore - q!quackity and k!quackity run it now.

Section 5: Post-Monologue and Closing Thoughts

Oh my god, oh my god… Okay… I'm alive- I'm alive… I'm alive, I'm alive… What am I doing? What am I doing? Okay… I need to… I need to leave, I need to get out of here, I need to walk out, I need to walk out…

wait, ln!quackity is alive? he's not hurt? he's... alive? hm. that must've all been in his head. a near death experience, some divine intervention... maybe he does get a second shot! "i need to get out of here..." he wants to get out of the comfort zone, but... letting the ego out, where he's going to suffer? let ln!quackity, the character built on legacy, suffer in a place where he has nothing? the outside? where he wouldn't even dare to-

Slime: Looks like everything is running well. Yeah. Everything's going pretty… pretty great. Slime: You look so tired. I uh… yeah, yeah I uh, I am. Slime: I came back to see you one last time. I didn't like how we had to end. Yeah, no uh… I thought about it, no hard feelings and you know what… you were right actually, this time you taught me some valuable lessons. Slime: After I left, I learned a lot. More than I ever thought there was to know. From more people that I ever thought there were. That sounds great. Slime: I came here to say goodbye, Quackity. It felt… important. Where are you going? Are you going somewhere? Slime: I want to go see it, Quackity. Everything belong this land. I don't think I belong here anymore. Wow, yeah. You deserve it, wow… look at you. Traveling the world, I'm excited for you. Slime: I've learned all I can from this place, Quackity. I'm very excited to go. And maybe even now, someone or something can learn from me. Wow, well yeah. Stay uhm, stay safe man. And remember, don't trust too many people. Slime: Quackity, thank you for teaching me what it's like to be human. Yeah… thanks. Slime: Goodbye, Quackity from Las Nevadas.

he realizes the pain is what makes people alive. you can reconcile with it, you can embrace it, you can live with it. slime was confined to las nevadas for so long that he learned how to live. why can't ln!quackity? what makes slime different? ln!quackity has been immersed in nothing but pain and suffering... and k!quackity too! q!quackity! they are all fine, they can do amazing things, but... they have nothing. they lost it all, but why was ln!quackity the one that's stuck? why did he finally crack?

it's because they love. and slime, well, he loves the world. he loves learning, teaching about life. he has a passion, he wants to experience life. he wants to be free. ln!quackity never wanted to be free. he wanted a place to call his own. with slime leaving... he has las nevadas all to himself. everything he ever wanted, all the money in the world, yet he's alone. he was never loved, only used. it's just a hollow tomb. it was built as an homage to people he loved, but they never loved him. nor did he love himself. all it stands to be is just a reminder that ln!quackity will never be loved.

"you look... so tired." "yeah... i uh- i am."

he doesn't have to keep fighting. he doesn't have to keep relishing in pain. he's happy that slime is traveling the world, thanks to him. he took bits and pieces of ln!quackity - not everything - but just enough to keep his chin high. he is his own person, using the lessons that ln!quackity taught him. slime is ln!quackity's legacy. after the conversation with his other two selves, and with slime in the real world, he realized that in order for him to be at peace, he doesn't have to keep on hurting. the pain that he shared with slime, as the lessons he taught him, inspired slime to be his own person. the pain that ln!quackity went through is what made slime realize that he, too, is human. relishing in pain and not using that to keep going makes you a victim to your own surroundings. the pain becomes comfort, and you can never leave. it's nothing more than a tomb.

and thus, the final lines said are:

"quackity, thank you for teaching me what it's like to be human." "yeah... thanks"

slime taught him how to be human as well. and to be human is to not let pain consume you and to keep forward. make amends with it, keep it in your back pocket. those are memories, it's part of your legacy. but what the other quackities could do that ln!quackity couldn't, is remind themselves that they can be better.

q!quackity, though skittish in nature, is observant and uses his knowledge to get under ln!quackity's skin and finally make him snap and realize his emotions. q!quackity represents intellect, even if he is naïve at the same time.

k!quackity, just as smart as q!quackity, is a fighter. he is observant, but he doesn't use that as much to his advantage as he has strength to back him up. he is strong and he knows it, he can lead a revolution, he is strategical. less naïve than q!quackity, he's more cautious of the posing threat that ln!quackity is. q!quackity helps him as his first instinct, showing that the two work together in tandem naturally.

with both sides working together in harmony, where does ln!quackity come in? he represents arrogance, denial of his emotions, his bolstering ego... there is no room for that to grow as a person. he had to die. the room falls silent as he kills himself, no protests. and, q!quackity and k!quackity will make it out alive. they will be coming back. which shows that they do work together to get out. not by killing themselves, but allowing themselves the best parts of each other.

so, as a finale... what does this mean as a whole? i think, although alex really loves ln!quackity, i think this stream was meant to show his journey as a person. he has said he is very grateful for what he has and where he's gotten, and i think keeping yourself humble and counting your blessings is something that you have to grow into. when you're young, you do stupid mistakes. you're naïve, you trust too easily and people take advantage of that. at the end of the stream, ln!quackity says

"don't trust too many people"

as opposed to what he said earlier, talking about himself:

"you know what made all those fail? [...] trust! you can't trust people! they kill you!"

without letting people in, ln!quackity was his own demise. he never learned how to trust, how to love, and thus he could only die alone in the end. but, slime can. he will learn how to love, how to care for, and how to trust others. don't be naïve, but don't be alone, otherwise you will be your own demise in the end.

and thus, this stream was a way to show alex's journey as a person. he said that he was really counting his blessings and being thankful for everything in his life. he can't redo the past few years, but he can move forward with the lessons he learned. that's something he has been talking a lot about lately, and i think this was his own way of interpreting it through characters he loves so dearly. he had to kill off his pride to grow. moving on is the hardest part, and what's even harder is learning how to begin again after everything. but, at the end of the year and going into the next, he will face troubles. he will face challenges.

but he will grow and learn, as he is human, as we are human. we all feel pain, as well as love. we need to learn, we need to grow. and we cannot shy these away from each other - they need to balance each other out and work in unison, as they should.

[aihoshiino]

is Ai really autistic or is it just popular headcanon/fanon?

She is!

To be totally transparent, Akasaka has never said autism specifically (自閉スペクトラム症 jihei spectrum shou) to my knowledge, but Ai is canonically neurodivergent and is referred to at least twice across the series that I remember as having specifically a developmental disability (発達障害 hattatsu shougai) which are umbrella terms in both English and Japanese that specifically refer to a very specific category of neurodivergence that autism falls into.

Additionally, in Ai's chapter of Spica, she behaves... I don't want to say stereotypically because I think Spica's POV outwards depiction of a non-masking autistic person navigating the world is one of the few things it does right, but the particular social issues twelve year old Ai has and the ways they cause her to clash with B-Komachi do very much read to me as a writer who is intentionally trying to portray an autistic person w/o directly using the word 'autism'. Especially given that the resolution at the end of Ai's chapter is that she starts learning how to mask - literally, explicitly in those words.

Akane also singles out a lot of things to do with Ai's behaviour and physicality that also feel like big, obvious signposting for 'this character is intentionally being written as autistic' to me:

Singling out just from this image, Akane notes that Ai has very sharp (an alternate translation is sensitive) hearing and sense of smell, has some fine motor issues (holds her chopsticks irregularly), among other things.

It's also not in this image, but something you can quickly pick up from looking at Ai's fashion choices when she's dressing for herself is that she very consistently gravitates towards baggy and loose fitting clothes, which could imply she has some sensory issues when it comes to tight fits.

This is also more anecdotal so feel free to take it with a grain of salt, but in Japanese fan spaces, I've seen plenty of people say re: Ai that "oh yeah, this is really obviously a character you're supposed to read as being autistic/having ADHD", so that implies to me the coding here is very recognizable and thus intentional. Like - again, Akasaka went out of his way to have two characters at LEAST refer to her as this very specific umbrella term so there was obviously authorial intent here.

The specific focus on Ai's confusion regarding communication and organic empathy is what lands me on the side of 'autistic', but either way, I don't think it's really in question that it's a canonical part of her characterization.

[kiame-sama]

Hello, Can you write more yanChrollo with the newly hijacked and autistic reader? Maybe where the reader is not yet used to Chrollo or the situation, And afraid of him and the rest of the members

I would like to make the reader male but if you prefer to make the reader female then I don't mind at all

I am now in my twenties

Thank you so much

Warnings; yandere, yandere relationship, yandere behavior, autistic reader, male reader, mention of kidnapping, less than pleased reader, tough situations, ficlet (not a fullblown fic), somewhat hurt/comfort,

(Despite being a male reader, still using my own autism as a reference)

~~~~~~~~

"Why are we just letting him-"

"Don't question Boss. His soulmate, his rules."

"But why the hell is he just letting his soul mate sit in the corner like that?"

You watched them closely as you sat and stared, trying to keep to yourself as best you could. It had been days but you still couldn't bring yourself to relax among the group of people that had so readily grabbed you off the street. They were much more openly curious than Chrollo- the man they had grabbed you for- and clearly did not care if you could hear them or not.

Chrollo, the man that claimed you as his soulmate, had been rather keen on letting you acclimate to him but also keeping you in his sight. Luckily, he did give you some privacy, but he was never too far away from you even when you were out of his sight. Even when you slept you knew he was somewhere nearby and it only made your stress levels rise.

"No sense in upsetting him more than getting him to me had," Chrollo, spoke with a vague grin on his lips, "clearly I just have to learn how to best interact with him, that is all."

"I can hear you."

"I know you can, my darling (Y/n). However, you are not keen on talking, so there is no point in making you talk."

"... But there is a point in taking me from my home?"

Chrollo turned to you now, intentionally blinking in an attempt to come across as less threatening despite how it obviously didn't fool you. Still, he was learning what unsettled you and what was going to keep you calm. Any progress in relaxing you around him was good progress in Chrollo's eyes.

"Yes. As I explained earlier, we are soulmates. You can distrust me as much as you wish, you will eventually never want to leave my side. Soulmates are connected for a reason, Dear."

You just let out a soft humming sound in response to his words, drumming your fingers against your arm idly. Chrollo continued to smile at you despite your lack of response before returning to his book. The other members of the group didn't seem to feel the same way as they continued to glance at you suspiciously from time to time.

The sounds from the outside wre muffled but absolutely enough to occupy you. Not many cars went by, but there were still the various barks of dogs as others passed the abandoned building you were held captive inside of. Despite the sounds, your eyes stayed fixed on the relaxed figure of Chrollo.

The more you stared, the more your situation began to weigh on you. A very faint sting of salty tears burned your eyes as your throat seemed to tighten with distress. When you finally dropped your gaze, you had to hide your face against your arms and you pulled your knees to your chest. The first few tears fell quickly but you tried your best to remain as quiet as possible to not draw attention to your now sensitive state.

It was while you choked back any sounds from escaping that you felt something drape over your shoulders. Whatever it was almost seemed like a blanket and you quickly took to wrapping yourself in the material. The faint brush of fur against your arms brought to mind thoughts of the coat Chrollo always wore and you gathered just what the item was.

A soft sound of movement next to you made you peak one eye past your arms where you hid your face, seeing Chrollo settle an arm's length away from you. He leaned against the wall as he sat- completely topless- and opened his book back to whatever page he had been on. He didn't even glance at you as you stared at him, trying to gauge what he was doing. Without missing a beat, Chrollo spoke in a soft tone to you, the low rumble of his voice somewhat soothing your anxious heart.

"I know it is a frightening time for you. You're somewhere new. Somewhere you don't know very well. It all is so sudden and confusing for you. I understand. Even if you don't trust me now, I still don't wish to bear the thought of you hurting all by yourself."

Chrollo had that grin again, the one where he seemed to be both bemused and patiently waiting. You couldn't tell if you liked that look on him or not.

"You will warm to me eventually. For now, take comfort in the fact I have quite the patience. I can wait as long as I need to until you begin to trust me."

[jolenes-doppelganger]

Jules Nichols Headcanons (Pt. 2)

Previous part in collaboration with @ilovehotactresses

(She helped me with a few (most) of these, but she's being a bitch and not SHARING Jules. She's OUR beefy boyfriend!!! (If the Jules fic gets pushed to the bottom of the WIP list, you know why).

Jules x Fem!Reader (Boobs are referred to).

General Personality

-This woman is one bad day away from locking herself in the generator room and never coming out.

-Upon first introduction, (if you can even call it that), she says her name and maybe three words.

"Hi Sheriff Nichols, I'm [Name]"

"Oh. It's Jules. Don't call me Sheriff."

"Oka-"

*POOF*

-Has the ability to literally disappear like a cat. Doesn't want to be seen? Won't. You won't find her anywhere, don't try, she climbs up in the vents. Yeah. You heard me. The fucking air vents.

-BOY HUMOR. She's been around men her entire life. Her humor is absolutely rancid. Every dirty joke in the book. Not 'one of the guys' , she is a 'guy'.

-All of her friends are men. They slap each other on the back when hugging, first hugs are going to be interesting.

-First contact you'll ever make with her is a handshake. Very firm. This woman can GRIP.

First Date/ Getting to know each other

-Jules doesn't know what dating is. She's the equivalent of a Silo Comp Sci major, except she wears deodorant. You bet your ass asking her out is like asking out a brick wall.

"Hey Jules, I was wondering if we could hang out sometime...?"

"We're talking right now."

*Stares. Just fucking STARES.*

-But if she has feelings, it is at least ten times harder.

"Hey, want to grab coffee?"

".... What's coffee?"

*Looks at you with bugged out autistic eyes.*

-She lurks if she has a crush. Looking out from the corner of the room with those same bugged out eyes. She doesn't talk. Maybe she fixes something in your tool kit without asking, but you bet your ass she's not talking first.

-It's like trying to befriend a feral cat. Good news? She can and will be bribed with food.

Awkward Stage

-After you coerce Jules into a date, because you will have to be the one to make the move with her, she becomes worse with the lurking.

-Breathing over your shoulder, her front almost touching your back but never quite making contact. Itching to touch, but also not wanting to touch. INDECISIVE.

-Sniffing.

-Yeah bud, you heard me. She sniffs. Finds out what soaps you use, maybe perfume. Invests in that shit.

-Starts naming things after you. Her favorite wrench? Now it's [Reader] wrench. New mechanical equipment? Automatically your name. EVERYONE around her knows she likes you simply because she refers to the generator with your name once.

-(She climbed into the air vents after that screw up).

Relationship Stage

-CLINGY.

-We've established she's a bottom. Wants to be babied all. The. Time. She's like one of those large Newfoundlands that want to be held like a baby. Is she baby sized? Can she even fit in your lap comfortably? No, but she sits there anyways.

-Eating EVERYTHING in your house.

-Can't cook? You're gonna have to learn to. This woman doesn't cook, only eats. If you don't feed her she will bitch and moan until you do.

-SO. FUCKING. HANGRY.

-Being alone with her is like having a breathing shadow. Wants to cuddle, needs to cuddle. Cuddling on the sofa, in the kitchen, in the bed, in the shower.

-Nibbling. Forget wearing anything except turtlenecks, your neck is covered in red marks constantly. Lots of kisses though, so it works out.

-Nose in your neck. Face in your shoulder, face in your boobs if she can. Face. Must. Touch.

-Loves your boobs. Mesmerized by them every time they come out. Also mesmerized by other things ;)

Random (Basically Jules being autistic)

-Investing in a stim swing would be the best present EVER. Swing is life. Bouncing and spinning, just the feet out. It's her new air vents.

-Wants TIGHT hugs. They have to be tight. As tight as you can make them. That pressure is good.

-Ties her shoes really tight too. Would wear tight pants if she could avoid harassment, therefore all of her pajamas are tight.

-Saltines are her favorite snack. You heard me. Crispy, same texture every time and just salty enough. Munches on them like a hamster.

-Saturday night activities include taking apart your kitchen toaster and fiddling with it until it works RIGHT. (It was making a high pitched noise that was driving her nuts).

-Does all the fixing in the house not because you can't but because she cannot watch you do it because you're not doing it 'right'.

-The bug eyed look is basically her resting face.

-Brings home a kitten from the generator one day, proudly naming it Lug-nut. (Luggie for short). This cat is basically Jules in cat form. They have the same expression. At all times.

That's all!

Tag list: @marvelwomenrule @midnight-lestrange @bjoerkumlaut, @lovelyy-moonlight, @coffee-is-my-oxygen, @appparadox407

Send a message/ask to be added. Ageless bios are automatically put in the SFW sub category.

[numberonechonnyjashfan]

here is said rant post.. HEAR ME OUT

no im being fr cause like okay this isnt a “omg i love them so much theyre so hot” hear me out post, this is a “holy shit i have stuff to say” hear me out post

can we take a moment to analyze and discuss @lovelyshiz ‘s cccc designs!!!!!!!!! ermrm biiiig autistic ted talk coming biiiiigg autistic topic-to-topic discussion ted talk coming are you guys ready

you guys arent ready

LOOK. look at soul guyss LOOK okay ready for biiiig talk

soul has aspects of heart and mind in his design guys. GUYS okay so on his name tag, the ??? is purple, blue, and orange yayayeyaurje wowowowoelwkeke geah eyah and also in his silly sparkles on his darker half, they r purple and blue!!!!!!!!!!!! uwoaiwowe lovelyshiz if you dont have lore for your designs, NOW YOU DO because I THINK!! the reason for this is becausueu he was in control of whole most of the album and when he let them all work in unison together woelooei aspects and influences from heart and mind affected him and SO!!! thats why there’s parts of their colors implemented BIG DISCOVERY GUYS no its not actually thats probably not why it was probably for funsies but umm.. shiz your designs have lore now i guess

okay HEAR ME OUT on why heart is in a hoodie and sweatpants…… HES EMO!!/j umm j think its because he is verrrry emotion and so he finds the comfort of biiiigg clothes very soothingnand so when he gets sad its NOT for long because biigg clothes biiiiiggg happy yahshaheh!!!!! also his shoelaces r untied cause he doesnt feel like tying them probably he just flies around everywhere probably

WHOLE ALSO HAS HMS STRINGS HOLDING HIS PANT HOLE TOGETHER HOLY SHIT that was most likely intentional but I THINK it’s because they r APART OF HIM!!!! whole is a did system real guys….

um.. nothing about mind HES NOT SPECIAL ENOUGH/J

well actually yes there is something about mind

his halo

hes referred to as the SKY in a few songs or was that heart idk but he ALSO HAS A CLOUD ON HIS HALO AND HE SINGS STORM AND A SPRING YEHAJEN idk im not really onto anything i just RREEEALLY like the designs they’re so 😍😍😍😍

[thunderstomm]

I was originally not going to make a post about this, but after seeing a few other posts about it, I wanted to make my own. I have a LOT to talk about.

TW: Transphobia, Homophobia, Ableism

If you don’t know what I’m taking about- there was a post made by a user, who’s name I will not disclose or share, who discussed how they would rewrite the new Monster High G3 Cartoon. While some of the points were mundane, or points of preference, others made me very uncomfortable, as they got rid of much of the diversity that G3 has brought into the Monster High Universe. I want to quickly go through three of the points that I felt were erasing these steps in diversity, and my thoughts on each one, and why I think that it’s iffy, to say the least.

First is the statement “all of the couples from G1 will stay together”. While this may read to some as a preference for the old couples, in the context of rewriting G3- it comes across as the erasure of both couples involving a neurodivergent character being the subject of a crush, and being seen as desirable and loved (Manny x Twyla), and what probably was the intended couples they wanted to seperate, the canonically queer ships. In particular, this is most likely against Clankie (and POSSIBLY an s2 ship which I won’t say by name because some people want to go in blind. Instead I will refer to it as 🧡💚.). In this rewrite context, wanting to take away queer relationships which many writers and designers for Monster High have fought for in many shapes and forms. G1 never had explicit queer characters, the closest things being a scrapped SDCC diary entry (Valentine x Spelldon), Post-Ending 3rd party statements (Clawdeen is a Lesbian, Rebecca x Venus, etc.) and implied characters (Kiyomi). While these are okay, they are NOT the same as explicit queer couples, which are arguably more important to push forward in the talk and scope of present and future representation.

While it is okay to prefer the G1 ships, in the context of bringing them back for G3, it erases these queer couples, and ignores the lore and universe of G3. In G3, Cleo and Deuce are exes. And if you don’t like that, you can still watch G1!! It’s not magically disappeared, the movies and shows and music is all still out there, and most of it is free! But, erasing Clankie, 🧡💚, and other potential queer ships in G3, for the preservation of a m/f ship isn’t okay.

On the subject of erasure, there is the statement “Frankie is still non-binary, but now uses she/they pronouns”. A character canonically using they/them in cartoons, especially ones made for kids, are uncommon. Honestly, I don’t even know if I could name 10, and that says more about the state of non-binary representation than it does about me. While changing the pronouns of a cisgender character to gender neutral ones is often done in fandom, and often not a point of issue, taking a character who is canonically non-binary and solely uses they/them and giving them typically gendered pronouns erases that under represented group, and allows for transphobes to ignore the “they” in “she/they”, and only use “she” for the character. This is an issue in real life too, for many who use multiple sets of pronouns, including myself (they (preferred) / he) ! We deserve both of their sets of pronouns to be used, and people who only use they/them deserve to be referred to by and as they/them. These changes hurt everyone.

Then, we come to the one I see the most talk about, and the one that made me audibly yell “what the f-?!”- taking away Twyla’s canon autism diagnosis, and symptoms & traits, and replacing it with autism coding, so that she is easier to identify with. First of all- easier for who??? Neurotypicals ?? It is incredibly rare to see a character on kids TV outright say “I am autistic”, and Twyla is wonderful as representation. Twyla will not resonate or be relatable to every person- but that is true for all characters, not just autistic ones. Autistic people are not a monolith, it is a spectrum, with many different ways to present itself. Also… taking away all of her traits and symptoms to make her more relatable? These traits and symptoms are what would have made her “autistic coded”, and without them, you have a character who is NT.

Autism isn’t a quirky word you can use to describe anyone, it is a disability, that myself and many others have, and see misrepresented time and time again. And to say that a good example of it is not good, and would be better off to be erased and replaced with coding is insane. Coding is okay, but that’s all it is. Real spoken representation matters so much to me, and so many other people, even if the characters we see are not identical to us in those symptoms and traits they exhibit. These characters should not be changed, but rather, more autistic characters, with different presenting symptoms and traits, should be introduced !

You can like G1, you can prefer G1, but that does not mean that you have to make a sanitised version of G3, that makes it identical to G1. In terms of representation, there is no arguing that G3 has G1 beat. The poster said on their post that “any new characters would be made more relatable”, but… to who? Because I relate to a lot of the G3 characters more than the G1 ones, and I grew up loving G1! It’s not been wiped, all of the media still exists for you to watch, and make headcanons for ! If you like G1- good for you! But please, stop trying to make G3 exactly like it. Because change is inevitable in these kinds of reboots, and it allows for the representation some want to take away.

Thank-You for those who read all the way!

[cripplecharacters]

Can people with flat/blunted affect mask and if so how common is it for people with the symptom to be able to do that?

Hi!

I'm assuming you mean an autistic person who has a flat affect?

Short answer: yes.

Long answer:

Flat affect is one small part of autism. Tone is often difficult for autistic people to recognize and reproduce. But there are plenty of things that go into masking!

Masking can involve suppressing stims, avoiding talking about special interests, putting focus into body and facial expressions, and many other things too!

Also, masking takes a lot of energy. If your character is more focused on making sure they are sitting still, for example, they may not be focused so much on their tone of voice.

Keep in mind that masking isn't widespread in the autistic community. Many of us, especially higher support needs autistics, cannot mask at all. (Personally I understand masking in theory but am unable to mask myself.)

It's certainly possible to be higher masking and have a flat or "unusual" affect, just consider how else that might affect them.

Mod Rock

Hello!

I mask almost constantly whenever I'm able to. It's a survival mechanism that I haven't been able to break out of. I also have a very flat tone and what's usually referred to as 'resting bitch face'. I'm not very expressive naturally.

When I'm masking, I don't usually mask my tone. The rare times when I do is usually for short interactions at parties/events or during job interviews; both places where it's short term and rather necessary for me (To get the interaction over with at parties and to have a better chance at getting a job at the interview).

Even when I'm masking, my tone and expressions don't always come across as natural or real. They can seem fake or superficial, at least from what I'm told.

If I had to keep it up for longer than those short interactions, it would be very exhausting and, as Rock suggested, I'd have a harder time focusing on other aspects of my mask.

To answer your question: Yes, it is possible for somebody to do that but as for how common it is, that really depends on the person. Not all autistic people have a flat affect and not all of those who do can or will choose to mask it.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

Hello,

I'm medium support needs autistic with flat tone and facial expression. While I can mask some things, I can't mask everything at once.

It's kind of like my brain is a computer, and masking different things is like running different programs. if I try to run too many at once, all of the programs start struggling. I can mask my tone, injecting what I think is an appropriate amount of emotion, but, beyond a few things that come easily to me such as a genuine-looking smile, can't really mask my expression while masking my tone. If I'm masking my expression and trying to follow what I think non-autistics would expect based on what I'm saying, I struggle to mask my tone. If I try to mask both at once, both masks start to slip. Tone and expression are larger programs, so it's harder for other programs to run while those are running. Maybe a small program, like simulating eye contact by looking at someone's forehead, can run at the same time, but trying to run too many little programs while running a big program will lead to the same problem. All of this also takes an enormous amount of energy. So while I can kind of mask, I can't mask everything at once. There are only so many programs I can run before my computer crashes.

If your character is medium support needs, masking perfectly is probably nigh impossible. If they're high support needs, there's absolutely no way they can mask. Masking is a lot harder for M-HSN people, so if your character is medium of high support needs, they probably aren't going to be able to mask at all or, if they can mask, will likely mask imperfectly like me. It'll also take a lot more effort than it would for a character who has no support needs or light support needs, it would exhaust them way quicker. And, again, a lot of medium support needs individuals may struggle severely with masking or won't be able to mask at all. High support needs individuals often, if not always, cannot mask at all.

So if your character is M-HSN, their ability to mask will depend on where they are on that spectrum and what else they're trying to do as they talk.

Mod Aaron

[wings-of-fire-confessions]

I personally think the wof mental health rep is a lot better than it seems at first glance.

I should say upfront that I'm not a professional, though one of my biggest interests is psychology and majority of the conditions I talk in this post I either have or have traits of (and I'll clarify which I don't).

Whiteout is the only canonical neurodivergent character as far as I know, having associative synesthesia, but many headcanoning her to be autistic. I haven't read the books in a long while, but from what I remember I can agree, though I'm not autistic (despite meeting criteria... long story) so I won't for sure say if I think her traits are enough for a diagnosis or not (again, haven't read the books recently), but everyone seems to think they are so I'll agree.

Hawthorn has psychotic symptoms, which I think is important to represent since people with psychosis (whether that be from being on the schizophrenia spectrum or some other reason) are very often put in a bad light. Hawthorn is too, to an extent, but that's more so due to the Breath of Evil and not due to his psychotic symptoms, or from what I can remember, at least. I don't think Hawthorn has a mental disorder like schizophrenia since symptoms of psychosis can be caused by isolation (I'm not actually 100% sure if this is true, this is just something my psychologist told me), but I think the representation is still important either way. I relate to him a lot due to his symptoms.

Darkstalker very clearly shows symptoms of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), I don't think you can even argue that (sorry, narcissism anon from a month or so ago). I myself fit the criteria for NPD, and I definitely see myself in him. I doubt he can be diagnosed since he is still a child, but his symptoms might be extreme enough to warrant one, I'm not sure (coming from a minor who's doctors referred them for a personality disorder screening themself). Of the nine (9) criteria for NPD, just off memory he fit basically all of them. I won't go into all of it but I will definitely mention his splitting, seeing how he goes from loving Clearsight to thinking he can kill her if she doesn't meet his expectations. He also has the aspect of how it develops too, that being trauma (I recall Arctic being abusive to him which is definitely enough to warrant trauma), and being spoiled as a child (this could be my brain making things up but I swear this happened, or at least he was overly praised or something). So yeah, fairly sure he would have been diagnosed with NPD if he didn't eat the strawberry.

Moonwatcher seems to have social and separation anxiety. I like this, since I am diagnosed with both and they are both very difficult to live with, and I like seeing another character having it that I can relate to in that way. She also has symptoms of AVPD (just from what I remember), but she's only like... twelve (12) so there's no way she could be diagnosed.

Anemone, while not having any mental disorders specifically, still had a rough mental health journey so I think it's important to bring up. She grew up with her mother, Queen Coral, who was a complete helicopter parent, and likely never met her Father, King Gill. She was praised and adorned all her life, so it makes sense that when she was eventually separated from Coral, she acted out what she thought she deserved. While I think Darkstalker has NPD, I can't say the same for Anemone, since she was so young and it's normal for young children to have narcissistic traits. When she met Darkstalker, they clicked well due to both being animi and having... less than positive thoughts on the dragons around them. Darkstalker ended up lovebombing her, and telling her to leave when she got mad at Moon. She lashed out at Turtle afterwards, before they reconciled later. I thought this would be important to mention.

Peril likely has a few personality disorders as well, the most likely ones in my opinion being BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and DPD (Dependent Personality Disorder), which isn't surprising given her situation. She likely has tons of trauma so it's only natural for her to develop a traumagenic disorder. I say those in particular because of her rapidly changing thoughts and emotions and her over attachment to Clay, which I can definitely relate to given how I act with my DP (Dependent Person). I don't have BPD though I show traits (not sure if enough for a diagnosis or not) and I remember Peril showing traits too.

There's also a lot of dragons that probably have PTSD in some way, Fathom, Peril, and Jerboa III being the first ones that come to mind specifically.

I seriously think this is an important topic and I might make a video on it at some point. Like I said, I love psychology and I think it's interesting how it impacts characters from my favourite book series.

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[weebsinstash]

In case it wasn't obvious by my complete LACK of screaming, I actually wound up hanging out with family and walking away from the TV before fully completing Hazbin's fourth episode, AKA The One I Know Is Gonna Drive Me Wild 😩❤️ so speaking of poison, time to get drunk again and finish that last episode!

I really gotta say though, as someone who has been chatting with a few other people... laughing howling barking at the amount of people straight up, "yeah Valentino is sexy but now that we know more about him, VOX THOUGH" like the amount of autistic girl pussy this man could pull is WILD

in episode two during the scene introducing VoxTech they make it VERY clear that Vox also straight up has fucking hypnosis powers??? It's when his left eye gets all... woobly? And then when Vox was calming down Val, that same effect was used TWICE, so, lowkey implying Vox tries to "lull" Valentino into a calmer state

"What are you doing, Val"

"You're not going over there."

Also the delivery on that line was hot 😩 imagine Vox saying something to you like "don't leave the studio :)" and he can tell you're not gonna listen to him or you're only half listening and he just repeats himself like THIS, the register of his voice lowers firmly, "You're NOT leaving the studio" and suddenly your head feels kinda fuzzy as he starts telling you all the different reasons it's too crazy outside for you to leave his sight... yeah... guess he's right... better... trust him...

Vox is composed, calculating, cunning, he's the SALESMAN, the sweet-talker, the schemer. Val's yelling and screaming that you ran off and aren't answering his calls and being manic, throwing things, tearing people apart, and meanwhile here's Vox, "calm down Valentino I can just activate the tracker I put on the phone I gave them :)"

remember in the past where I talked about Val getting Reader their first phone down in Hell. I can still see that because Val is fawning over you so much he gives you a phone so he can contact you whenever he wants, like LMAO imagine Val calling texting calling texting and everyone's watching him go fucking crazy "WHY AREN'T THEY RESPONDING fucking BITCH" and here's Angel "Boss they dont even have a phone???? Whose number are you even calling????", BUT I also see Vox doing this because he's the actual one who can do some shit like "oh yeah here's just a little something I threw together, it's the new VPhone 27, it's whatever" and later you find out he gave you the equivalent of like a $3000 iPhone and it has like special features on it that he very clearly put on there just for you but you have no frame of reference so you don't even realize how nice your phone is until someone else comments on it

Also. Valentino snatching Reader's phone and chucking it and completely shattering it and it sends you into a rage, "THAT WAS A GIFT FROM VOX YOU TEMPERAMENTAL PRICK!" and Vox returns from the bathroom or some shit to you yelling and screaming at each other, "You're lucky I don't put something in that smart mouth of yours to teach you some respect you ungrateful whore!!" "well YOU'RE LUCKY I don't sit on your face until you fucking suffocate and die a second time!!" and Vox feels himself getting kinda. Hot watching you two go back and forth, "I should fuckin tie you up until you're begging for me to stop whipping that fat ass of yours RAW!" "Cocky stuck up men like you always cry and whimper the loudest when they get restrained and FUCKED UP THE ASS"

Vox just in shock as you're able to TEAR INTO THIS MAN and walk away completely unscathed, all you guys really do is scream at each other and then 20 minutes later after you've walked away, always YOU to disengage or else he'll just keep going, Val's texting you shortly thereafter, "heeeeeeey baaaaabe, come back 🥺 I miss you ❤️" and then the second you fall for it and come back, "took you long enough, fucking brat" and you're getting pulled into his lap to forcibly cuddle him and be made to brush his chest fur while he makes calls for drug deals and shit